


Crystallize

by IceDragoness



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Eventual Smut, F/M, Gen, Mutant Powers, Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Original Character, Pre-Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Pre-Avengers (2012), SHIELD, Slow Build, Strike Team Delta, Team Bonding, Team Dynamics, Team as Family, shield training
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-13
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2018-06-08 03:47:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 81
Words: 646,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6837889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceDragoness/pseuds/IceDragoness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All her life Kari managed to avoid SHIELD. Just because her entire family are a part of it, doesn't mean she had to as well. Until one night at a bar turns everything around. Thrown into a world she never wanted to be part of, she soon finds out SHIELD is a lot different than she ever imagined. Life gets a little crazier than ever imagined when your workmates are Black Widow and Hawkeye. Movieverse, slight AU. Starts at Iron Man right through to Civil War.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a cross post from FF.net. Its also very much still a work in progress. I hope everyone enjoys it as much as I enjoy writing it.
> 
> I own nothing to do with Marvel. All my OC's belong to me but if you'd like to use them elsewhere, please drop me a line.

I gulped nervously and adjusted my skirt once again. The material felt soft against my fingers but it did nothing to reassure me. I crossed my legs and felt my stockings rub against each other. My hands were sweating and left a slight smudge as I tried to wipe it away on my skirt. I exhaled and saw my breath mist in front of me slightly, though the room was comfortably warm. I had to calm down. This was just an interview, nothing terrible. I had been through dozens of interviews. First when I was young going into an exclusive private school. Then into the Air Force which had taken me 3 tries before I was accepted as a pilot. This one was no different.

 

Except it was with the one place I never really wanted to be. Other members of my family happily work here. Yet I had always sworn I wanted to live a normal life. I didn’t want to have anything to do with the Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division. My own twin brother worked here as an agent, a Specialist as he’d proudly proclaim. Though the details on what he exactly did were sketchy.I rarely saw him these days. My mother was head of Human Resources in New York and my Father ran the weapons development in R&D. My entire family were neck deep in SHIELD and I never wanted to be.

 

I looked down at my hands knotted together and wanted to sigh in frustration. Both of them were covered in ice crystals, though it was melting as quickly as it appeared. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath. This interview was nothing more than a mere formality. As someone on the Index of course I was closely watched. Especially being in the military. After the mess I had made there was a major clean up already in place. SHIELD wasn't my only problem. I had to deal with my Mom sooner rather than later. Not that I’d really had time to. I woke up in an unfamiliar bed only a few hours ago feeling like I’d been hit with a sledgehammer. The medics here in SHIELD had been kind enough to fill me in on most of the details while letting me use the shower before this meeting.

 

“Kari Lyngley.” A tall brown haired agent opened the door across the hallway from me. I jumped to my feet instantly, resisting the urge to snap to attention.

 

“Agent Maria Hill.” Agent Hill looked none too pleased with my appearance. She didn't even offer her hand in greeting. “Come in. Director Fury is waiting for you.”

 

Her words made my stomach knot uncomfortably. It took all my self control not to disappear and find a deep, dark cave with the hope no one would ever find me. I was in so much shit.

 

“Of course.” I forced a smile on my face and followed her into the room. In it sat a desk with a chair in front of it. Behind the desk sat the director of SHIELD himself, Nick Fury. He was intimidating to look at in the rare photo I’d seen of him. In person, he was downright terrifying.

 

“Sit,” he commanded without any greeting. I was more than happy to comply as I plonked myself down in the chair straight away. The knot in my stomach had now done a somersault and turned itself into a bow. Agent Hill sat beside him without a word.

 

“Perhaps we can start with what the fuck happened out there?” Fury sounded beyond angry. His stare bore into me and my mouth went dry. The temperature in the room dropped noticeably as my control slipped. It took me a moment to regain control of myself before I could find the words to speak. I didn't miss the look the two shared between them in the moment of my loss of control.

 

“They slipped something in my drink,” I said hoarsely. Moisture gathered in the corner of my eyes and I tried to blink it away. “I was just trying to get the hell out of there before I had no control. I didn’t manage to get out quickly enough.”

 

Agent Hill softened a bit and what looked like sympathy came across her face. Saturday night had started off as such innocent fun. It had quickly turned into a nightmare for me.

I was the only female fighter pilot in the 27th Fighter Squadron at Langley Air Force Base. I had worked my ass off to get where I was and I was immensely proud of my skills. Flying F-22 Raptors was a childhood dream come true. I had been at Langley for nearly 2 years and never had an issue with workmates until two new pilots arrived 6 months earlier. Paul Rudd and Trevor Fitzgerald. Both seemed to have a major bug up their ass about me being there. Despite being told to back off several times by other pilots, they both liked to go out of their way to make my life hell. This has been going on for six months. Saturday night was a night out for us pilots to celebrate. We’d just finished a huge training exercise with a few other Squadrons. It had been a hectic last six weeks and we all needed to blow off steam. I wasn’t very sociable and it had taken a lot of persuading for the other pilots to get me to come out. Despite my reservations, I’d been having a good time at the Officers Bar on base. It was nearly midnight before I decided to have my last drink and call it a night. Trevor bumped into me as I was leaving the bar knocking my beer out of my hand. He caught it and gave it back to me without a word. At the time I was too buzzed to really give it much thought. But alarms bells should have been going off in my head. Instead I started doing the rounds to say goodnight to everyone. I was getting dizzier by the second and tried to stagger outside before Paul grabbed me by the arm to keep me inside.

 

“You should come back to my place Kari.”The memory of his voice made me shudder. “You looked to wasted to get home.”

 

“Fuck off and die.” I tried my best to get free. The intent in his voice was clear. He had a bruising grip on my arm and I couldn’t get free. My head had started to go fuzzy and I could barely see straight. The terror of knowing what he’d done had chilled me right to the bone. When he tried to pull me into him what little control I had of my power snapped. I don't remember what happened next but when my vision cleared the entire room was covered in 3 inches of ice and people were frantically shouting. Paul was a solid figure of ice with the most ridiculous expression on his face. I tried to turn around and run into the frozen figure of Trevor. I reached my hand up to my face and found myself invisible. Using it to my advantage I staggered outside. Somehow I made it back to my apartment and I found a SHIELD agent already waiting for me. I spent the flight to the Triskelion throwing up the rest of alcohol and whatever drug the two idiots had slipped me. Then I spent the next day sleeping it off in the infirmary until I was able to move again this morning.

 

SHIELD like to call us Enhanced. My family more leant towards calling it gifted. The rest of the world called us mutants. Having powers was a blessing and a curse all at the same time. I was doubly cursed as I had two powers. My strongest gift was the ability to manipulate the moisture in the air and turn things to ice. Cyrokinesis was the elaborate term for it.When I was younger I had to touch things to make them freeze. Now I could simply manipulate the moisture around me to make anything I wanted to freeze. The curse with it was if I lost control things would freeze. I had never had a mishap like the night before.

 

My second power was the ability to turn invisible. It wasn't just myself, I could be holding an object and it would become invisible with me. The invisibility was a lot harder to explain and do. It required a lot of focus and concentration to maintain. It was fun as a child, but now as an adult I rarely let it happen. In turn, I rarely used my cyrokinesis either. I liked having a normal life and neither of those powers fit in with being normal. So I kept it to myself.

 

I was born this way. My entire family had powers in many different ways. In turn, my entire family had been involved with SHIELD for generations, starting with my Grams in World War Two. My parents personally knew Nick Fury and I was sure that was the only reason I wasn’t being shipped off to the Sandbox or the Fridge before I had a chance to explain myself. I was the black sheep of the family and wanted a career far away from SHIELD. I’d been successful in doing it so far. All until now of course.

 

“Two fatalities, a room of 45 people to debrief and keep quiet,” Fury’s voice snapped me away from my thoughts. I dropped my eyes down, not daring to look at his face. I never knew where to look anyway, whether to look at his good eye and avoid the patch or not. “Not to mention the amount of paperwork this debacle has taken because it happened on military property.”

 

I flinched waiting for the next onslaught. I was going to the Fridge for sure. Not even Mom was going to be able to bail me out of this one.

 

“What do you have to say for yourself?” Fury asked me sounding deadly calm. I risked glancing up at him. Funnily enough, he didn’t look too angry. More thoughtful as he stared at me.

 

“Sorry feels slightly inadequate,” I said quietly, staring down at my folded hands. I used to be able to make patterns of ice over them when I was younger. I hadn’t done it in such a long time, I’m sure I could barely conjure up anything more than a thin sheet these days.“Though I can speak for my entire squadron and say no one is going to miss those two assholes. I really would prefer not to be raped.”

 

I finally found my voice and a little bit of bravado with it. What was I expected to do in that situation? I was terrible at any kind of hand to hand combat and everyone else had been too drunk to notice what was going on. Should I have just let them drag me off and not fight? I knew my statement about no one missing them was true as well. They were both average pilots and I’d heard plenty of murmured complaints about them before.

 

Hill sighed quietly but no sound came from Fury. The room remained uncomfortably quiet as I stared down at my hands. I dared to sneak a look up again. Fury was staring at me, no emotion on his face giving away what he was really feeling.

 

“You know Kari, this is exactly why your family has been involved with us all these years,” Fury finally broke the silence after what felt like an eternity. “Because if things like this happen we can contain the situation better.”

 

“I truly am sorry for all the problems I caused,” I said sincerely. I really was. I always kept out of trouble and I hated to make any waves. This would have caused so many headaches for so many different people. “I have never lost control like that before.”

 

“And what if it happened again? What do you suggest we do about that,” Fury asked. There was no malice or anger behind his tone. He was simply asking a very loaded question.

 

I had no answer for him. There wasn’t even an answer to that question. I couldn’t promise to lose control again because it was likely it’d happen one way or another. I couldn’t control people or their actions. I may very well end up losing control again, this time in a more public place.What SHIELD would do about it was anybody’s guess. My guess at the moment? I was going to end up in a cell being closely guarded for the rest of my life. That’s what I heard happened to people in my situation.

 

Fury opened up a folder that was on his desk. It was inches thick and I knew it had my name on it. I could just see the terrible photo from my Air Force ID on the front page. Fury flicked through the pages casually, taking his time like he was perusing the entire file.

 

“Last of Air Force direct entry applicants, you aced every single test.” Fury said calmly, stopping at one page. “Off the chart for all your aptitude tests. Accepted into flying F-22’s straight out of fighter pilot school because of your competence. Something no one has achieved before.”

 

A hot blush crept up my neck as Fury spoke. Even though it had taken four attempts to actually get into the Air Force, I had proved myself beyond anyone’s expectations. I was glad I’d joined before the Air Force had completely wiped their direct entry programs. Otherwise, I would have only just finished college and be clawing my way through Officer Training and Flight school.

 

“Accepted into MIT and Caltech for Aerospace Engineering but decided to go with the Air Force instead.” Fury continued. “Volunteered for two tours overseas and did extended time away with them. Saw some live action missions while you were there. You did every weapon and combat course available to you, even though you're a pilot. You speak 4 languages, fluently. Sounds to me Miss Lyngley you were meant to be more than just a Raptor pilot.”

 

I squirmed in my seat uncomfortably at my achievements being thrown at me. I was a bright student and a bit of an overachiever. I did everything I could get my hands on. The four languages spoken was thanks to my brother and mine's love of learning new languages while growing up.

 

“I heard a funny rumour about one of my top spies.” Fury snapped the file shut with a dull thud. “That he has this crazy twin sister who made a SEAL instructor nearly cry with how good her accuracy was with shooting. But she’d rather sit her ass in a seat and fire missiles than put her skill to good use.”

 

I tried not to let my scowl show on my face at the mention of that story. Thanks a lot, Jared. I was going to kill my twin for telling people that. The attention I’d gotten from that day on the shooting range was embarrassing. My shooting skills were mostly thanks to my being a nerd with physics and learning to shoot from a very young age.

 

“Only a skill from sitting in the back of a pick up barreling through a thousand acre paddock shooting rabbits,” I said carefully, wondering where Director Fury was going with this.

 

“Put that together with your combat flight experience and I’d say you would make a pretty exceptional field agent,” Fury said, leaning on his desk as his one good eye bored into me. “And I’m always on the lookout for exceptional field agents. Especially ones where I could put them in, well let’s just say a unique place, something along the lines of being in a STRIKE team.”

  
I blinked in surprise. I barely knew what STRIKE actually did beyond they were a clandestine special forces unit within SHIELD. According to my brother, most of them were dumb grunts with happy trigger fingers. Except for a few very special cases. It wasn’t somewhere I could see my skill set being of any use.

 

“With all due respect Sir,” I tried to protest but was swiftly cut off by Fury.

 

“You have two choices at the moment Lyngley,” Fury said firmly. “You either take what I’m about to offer or you can spend the rest of your life being very closely watched in SHIELD custody. Which I can assure you isn’t going to be fun for anyone involved.”

 

I shut my mouth with an audible snap. That sounded like a living hell. All for something that wasn’t really my fault. Life really sucked sometimes. I didn’t have much of a choice in what was being presented to me. I tried not to let my shoulders slump in defeat. All those years of hard work were gone in an instant. My life was about to change in a very dramatic way.

 

“Can I at least know what the offer is?” I asked trying to keep my voice steady. Tears weren’t going to help me here.

 

“The offer is you become a SHIELD agent for a year,” Fury said simply. “That way we can keep an eye on you to make sure another incident doesn’t happen. And SHIELD can gain a valuable asset. One year, that’s all I’m asking for Lyngley and if you decide it’s not for you, then you can continue on with your life like nothing happened. We can make this incident with the Air Force disappear and you’ll get your old life back after the year in SHIELD.”

 

I felt completely trapped. I didn’t want anything to do with SHIELD, I never had. But the last thing I wanted was to disappear off the face of the Earth either. I knew what SHIELD was capable of. It wouldn’t be hard to make me disappear. I’d heard enough from Jared that SHIELD had no problems scrubbing people out. I was only 23. I had a lot of years left in me. The offer of giving my life back to me after a year was a tempting one as well.

 

“A year?” I asked cautiously. A year wasn't that long in the grand scheme of things. Especially if I was able to walk back into my old life afterwards. By the time I went through training it’s unlikely I’d even see any action. It might just be like being in Officer training all over again. Jared had spent over two years at the SHIELD Academy with Operations before he ever went into the field.

 

“A year,” Fury confirmed. “This is a one time offer. The second you walk out that door the offer is off the table and you go straight to the Fridge for processing.”

 

Fuck me. Fury didn’t give me much of a chance to decide. My entire life was on the line and I was going to have to make a snap decision. It wasn’t much of a decision to make though. I had essentially just been trapped into joining the one organisation I never wanted to be part of.

 

“I don’t think it’s much of a choice,” I couldn’t help the bitterness that crept into my voice. This was fucked beyond words. “I agree to join SHIELD for a year. I’d rather not go to the Fridge.”

 

“I knew you were the smarter of the two siblings.” Despite there being a joke in Fury’s words, he said it with a straight face. I was too intimidated to let myself smile, despite knowing it was true. Mom said it about me all the time.

 

“Am I allowed to go back to Langley and pack my life up first?” I asked with a pang of sadness. I was going to miss my little apartment I had there. It wasn’t much, but it was mine.

 

“We already have Agents packing up your apartment as we speak,” Hill spoke up for the first time in the meeting. Like Fury, her expression hadn’t changed at all. “We’ll start your administration process right now and you can begin tomorrow. The sooner you start the better so you can be kept an eye on.”

 

And where was I going to stay in the meantime? I hadn’t spoken to Jared in about three weeks, last I heard he was in Europe somewhere. I didn’t even have my car with me. It was in getting repaired for what felt like the 100th time this year. I was planning on replacing it and getting the motorbike I always wanted. I’d been eyeing off a brand new Kawasaki Ninja for months now. I’d just procrastinated over making the actual decision whether to get it or not. I didn’t even have my phone with me. I’d either left it at my apartment or dropped it somewhere along my mad dash to get home.

 

“You won’t go through the usual training,” Hill continued when I didn’t speak. “You’ll be given the abridged version of training and put straight into the field. I’m sure with your experience you’ll be fine. You’ve got a month and then you’ll be assigned to a team.”

 

Holy shit. This was not what I was expecting. There goes my plans for the year nearly being taken up by training. All of a sudden being sent to the Fridge was almost sounding like a good idea instead. I was a pilot. Just because I’d done some combat missions didn’t mean I was going to be any good in the field for SHIELD. My knowledge of hand to hand combat was limited to trying to smack the shit out of Jared when we roughhoused. At least I knew which way to point a gun. My nerves intensified thinking of what was about to be ahead of me.

 

“Jared has agreed to stay here in DC until you get assigned a team. Any arguments?” Hill asked.

 

At least there was one small blessing in all of this. I wouldn’t be standing on the side of the road trying to find somewhere to live whenever I was finished today.

 

“None Ma’am,” I said automatically, my military training kicking in. It was hard to stop myself snapping to attention. That was one habit I was going to have to break.

 

“Good, let's go,” Hill stood up and without another word breezed out of the room. I fought back the heavy sigh I wanted to let out before glancing at Fury once more. I got to my feet trying to ignore the weight on my shoulders. My entire life had just changed in a second and I had no idea how I was going to deal with this.

 

“Kari.” Fury voice stopped me mid-turn “I meant it when I said you could be a valuable asset to SHIELD.”

 

“Thank you, Sir,” I said softly. “I hope your faith in me isn’t misplaced.”

 

“It won’t be,” Fury said simply. “Dismissed.”

 

I had to nearly run to catch up with Hill. She had barely waited for me before striding down the hallway. I ignored all the curious looks I was getting as I walked by her side along the more well-used corridors of SHIELD. The Triskelion was huge and a hive of activity. I knew this was where everything to do with Operations ran from. All of the administration and R&D ran out of New York, where my parents were based. It seemed to take forever until we finally came to another large office. Hill opened the door and motioned for me to get in.

 

“Sit,” Hill commanded pointing to a chair. “And get comfortable because this will take most of the day.”

 

I did as I commanded and restrained myself from giving Agent Hill any sass. Already sitting in front of me was a folder as thick as my arm. As I sat down I was surprised to see my cell on the table. At least someone had been thoughtful and grabbed it for me.

 

“Your phone has already been swept clean on anything to do with Saturday night. You’re welcome to use it to call your parents or Jared, no one else.” Hill firm command made this situation even more uncomfortable than it already was. “I’ll send Jared in as soon as he arrives. You can get started on your paperwork.”

 

I let out a breath and stared at the huge file in front of me. My eyes started to burn thinking about all the reading I was about to do. Hill left without another word, closing the door behind her. I opened up the folder and pulled out the first thick wad of documents. It was the biggest non disclosure agreement I’d ever seen in my life. I picked up the pen next to me and started to scan the first line of the document. A faint buzzing feeling made the hair on my arms stand up and I glanced up, knowing what was coming.

 

In front of the desk appeared a near identical male version of me. For the first time this morning, a resemblance of a smile came onto my face as my twin brother Jared appeared in front of me.

 

Jared was like me with different sets of powers. His strongest was that he could teleport. I couldn’t even begin to explain how he did it. He could travel to anywhere that he could see where he was going, or he knew the place already. It was incredibly handy in his line of work. His second was the exact opposite of mine. He could conjure fire. He hated doing it, so focused on using his teleporting skills to his full advantage. From the little I knew of his job, he was a valuable asset to SHIELD. Only 23, he was one of the top Specialists, as he referred to himself. I called him a Super Spy. A Specialist sounded like something he’d made up to make himself look cooler.

 

“Hey bro,” I said quietly. I had no idea what else to say to him.

 

“Hey,” Jared came around the desk and pulled me into a tight hug. I sighed and melted into my twin. If nothing else it was good to see him. He looked so good standing here in a suit, minus the tie with his jacket opened. His blonde hair not looking a strand out of place. Compared to the wreck I must look like, we couldn’t be any more different right now.

 

When we pulled apart Jared glanced at the thick folder behind me and then back to me with a very forced smile.

 

“Fury finally nabbed you,” Jared said with an unreadable expression on his face. “Fuck me, Kari, what happened out there?”

 

“Remember those two guys who were giving me a hard time?” I asked. I’d come up to DC weeks ago and spoke to Jared about this. He’d wanted to do something about it then but I was adamant I could take care of myself. Jared nodded in confirmation at my question, his jaw tightening in anger. “They slipped something in my beer and I lost control.”

 

For the first time since this happened, I felt tears prick at my eyes. Everything I had worked so hard for in my old life was gone in the blink of an eye. All because those two idiots wanted to get into my pants. For what reason, no one would ever know now. I didn’t even know what the story was being told to everyone else. For all I knew I could officially be dead now.

 

“Your alive and that’s all that counts,” Jared sighed quietly and hugged me again. Hard. His grip was near bruising on my body. “Good riddance to two pieces of shit in the world. You did us all a favour by getting rid of them.”

 

I shook my head and dropped my gaze down to my feet. I didn't want to dwell on that part at all. It was easy sitting in a pilot seat. If you fire a missile into something you never see the faces of people who are killed. It’s almost easier to brush it off that way. Knowing I had killed two people with essentially my bare hands was more than a bit rattling.

 

“Kari, look at me,” Jared said, his tone serious. When I didn’t look at him, he gently tipped my chin back up so our eyes met. There wasn’t a huge height difference between us so it was easy to look Jared in the eye. His face was full of concern as he searched my face.

 

“What happened wasn’t your fault,” Jared said firmly. “Those idiots had it coming. If they didn’t do that to you it would have been someone else who couldn’t defend themselves. They would have succeeded and ruined someone ’s life in ways that no one’s life should be ruined.”

 

I had to hand it to Jared, his words did make me feel better. I would have never thought to think of it from that angle. Even though it felt like my life had been ruined, at least they hadn’t accomplished that they set out to achieve. There was a small solace in that.

 

“I missed you,” I said, changing the topic so I didn’t dwell on it any longer. I couldn’t bring myself to keep thinking about it all. “I hear you’re going to be keeping an eye on me.”

 

“Two eyes,” Jared said with a small smile. “At all times, except when we sneak out to get trashed and laid unless you decided to get boring and find a boyfriend.”

 

“Fuck no,” I shook my head with a short laugh. Jared always knew how to make a shitty situation a bit better. “You know me, no luck in the whole relationship thing.”

 

“Good,” Jared moved so he was sitting on the edge of the desk. “This might even be fun. Let's see what bullshit Maria has you doing.”

 

Fun. Not sure that was the right word for it. Jared picked on the folder and flicked through it, pulling a face as he did.

 

“Ugh I’m glad you like reading, they’re cramming everything here.” Jared thumbed through a few more pages. “Blegh, STRIKE, tell Fury you want to be a Specialist and be a cool kid. Like me. It’ll be fun.”

 

“Or terrifying,” I went to take the folder from Jared but he held it out of my reach.

 

“Depends who you get assigned to,” Jared shrugged. “The only bright side to working with STRIKE is they’re mostly ex-special forces. I know you like that type with their big muscles and follow orders type attitude”

 

I laughed softly at Jared as he handed me back the forms he had in his hand. He wasn’t wrong there. That had been one fun factor about my overseas tour. A female fighter pilot was a rarity, especially one as young as me. I wasn’t exactly unattractive so I managed to find the exact type of guys I liked.

 

“Better start signing your life away.” Jared reached over and pulled a pen from somewhere on the desk. “At least it’s only for a year.”

 

“A year,” I repeated. I was going to have to repeat that a lot through the next few months. This was going to be insane. I looked back at the non disclosure agreement in front of me. My eyes began burning again thinking about how much reading I was going to do over the next few hours.

 

The hours dragging by as I got through all my paperwork. I’d never been so relieved when I was allowed to leave Hill’s office. She had stopped by several times to check on Jared and I. But never said anything to me. Jared had ducked out a few times for coffee and brought lunch back into the room. He hadn’t said much throughout the day, leaving me in peace to read and fill out my forms. My watch told me it was 4pm by the time I was finally done with everything.With one final signature on my employment agreement, I threw the pen back on the desk. My phone had been silent all day meaning Mom was fully aware of the situation. Jared looked at me curiously as my fingers hovered above the screen, trying to put this off for as long as possible. He had been playing on his own phone. I took in a deep breath and hit my Mom’s name, dreading this call. She picked up halfway through the first ring.

 

“Kari?”, Mom’s voice came over the phone, she sounded out of breath.

 

“Hi Mom,” my voice shook in my greeting. “I’m sorry to make you worry.”

 

“Don’t worry about that, I’m just glad to hear from you.” Mom sounded composed considering the circumstances. ”Fury called and explained everything. I’m not sure I agree with this. Are you sure you want to do this?”

 

I felt a wave of dread wash over me. So much for thinking my parents were going to be furious. Here was Mom not really agreeing with the one organisation her and Dad practically ran their lives around. Out of all the people, I thought she’d be the happiest about me finally joining SHIELD.

 

“It’s just a year,” I repeated that phrase again. If I said it enough I’d believe it myself. “It’ll fly by.”

 

“I didn’t like you in the Air Force,” Mom’s worry came through clearly in her tone. “And now Fury wants to throw you into a black ops type position. I can’t say I’m thrilled about it.”

 

I wasn’t thrilled about it either. I didn’t know the thought process Fury was having about placing so much trust in me. There were thousands of people who’d happily kill me to get to this position in my life. SHIELD’s vetting process was insane. The Academy had higher rates of dropouts, more so than most special forces. It was an insane world behind these closed doors.

 

“It’s fine Mom.” My voice lacked conviction behind the words. Mom would be able to tell it too. “I’m staying with Jared until I get settled here.”

 

“I know you are, please keep him out of trouble for a bit.” Mom sounded like she wanted to say much more, but she switched tactics instead. “I heard on the grapevine he was a bit wild on his last mission, which is part of the reason he’s still in DC.”

 

“Oh?” I raised an eyebrow glancing at my twin. He raised an eyebrow back at me with a questioning look. Now I was SHIELD, all signed on the dotted line I wondered if he was going to tell me what happened. I barely knew what he did as it is.

 

“Yes, make sure he rings.” Mom’s tone made no room for argument.

 

“You’re in trouble,” I mouthed under my breath to my brother.

 

Jared shrugged and picked up a pen twirling it absently. That wasn’t anything new, Jared was always the one getting into trouble when we were younger. It seems it had just carried over to his working life now.

 

“I have to go, I still have work to do.” Mom sounded very conflicted still. “Please ring me tomorrow night and let me know how you settle in. If you need anything, I can be down there in a few hours.”

 

“I will Mom. I’ll be fine, I swear. I love you,” I said quietly feeling my heart sink a little. This was going to be rough for the next few days. Jared and I were pretty volatile if we had to spend a lot of time together. I hated to think how we were going to be not only living together but also working together. Jared wouldn’t be very happy about being cooped up holding my hand.

 

“I love you too, don’t kill each other. Please,” Mom said with a small sight. “Let me know if you need anything.”

 

Without waiting for my reply, Mom hung up. I wondered if she was going to ring Fury and yell at him on my behalf. She really didn’t sound happy about the situation. I looked at the now blank screen on my phone and suddenly wished my powers were to turn back time. They weren’t so I put my head down and quickly checked all my paperwork was actually done this time. Jared took the hint and disappeared to get Hill. She didn’t even check the paperwork was done properly. She picked up the folder and gave me a crisp dismissal. It took all my self control not to run from the room.

 

Once I was free from the Triskelion, Jared drove us back to his apartment. I was silent the entire time despite Jared’s attempts to make small talk. It was strange watching him drive. I didn’t even know he actually owned a car. Especially not a nice one. The sleek red RX8 was nearly brand new and barely driven in. It still had the new car smell to it.

 

Jared’s apartment was only 15 minutes away, even in the shitty late afternoon DC traffic. It was a very nice, modern building with a secure car park and pin coded entry. I hated to think what his rent was like.

 

“Let's go and get you settle in.” Jared parked the car and jumped out to open the door for me. If nothing else, manners that had been drilled into him when he was younger still worked. “All your stuff has been dropped off. You already know the bed in the spare bedroom but if you hate it we can go buy a new one. Same with the furniture. Treat it like your own place.”

 

“I’ve slept in it before Jared, its fine,” I quickly assured my twin. He looked as uncertain about this as I was feeling. Taking the elevator to the 5th floor, we both stepped out into the smallish hallway. There were only four apartments on this floor including Jared’s apartment.

 

“So, it’s mostly SHIELD agents in this building,” Jared explained as he went to the door closest to the elevator. “I’ve never met anyone else who lives on this floor. I occasionally hear people coming home but other than that it’s really quiet here all the time. No crazy cat ladies, no wild neighbours. You’ll enjoy the peace and quiet I think.”

 

I half smiled at Jared’s statement. At my old place my floor was shared with both of those things. Though I actually liked Mrs Jackson, the crazy cat lady. She was a pastry chef in her younger years and enjoyed dropping me off random baskets of muffins and pastries. Or I’d stop in for a coffee when I was feeling lonely. Which was a lot more often then I’d ever admit to Jared I didn’t have any close friends at work, not ones I’d invite over on a whim anyway. My relationships tended to be casual and always short lived. I’d feed Mrs Jackson's cats if she went to visit her grandchildren and help her do odd jobs around her apartment. My other neighbours were a few people my age who seemed to throw wild parties every single Friday and Saturday nights. No matter how many times they had been warned and had the police called on them they still did it. How they ever got away with it I will never know. Plus they liked to have very loud arguments after a few drinks. I knew all about their lives from listening to them scream at each other. The resulting make up sex after their arguments wasn’t any less loud than the arguing either.

 

“And here’s home sweet home.” Jared unlocked the door and stood back waiting for me to enter.

 

I’d been here quite a few times, so at least I knew my way around the apartment. It was spacious with a simple layout. A small hallway led down to an open kitchen and lounge room. The spare room was down another small hallway to the right, bathroom in the middle and Jared’s room to the left.

 

“I’ll let you get unpacked.” Jared still looked uncertain as he stood in the lounge room fiddling with his keys. “There’s a really good pizza place not far from here, if that’s okay for dinner?”

 

“Sure.” I gave Jared a half hearted smile. “You know what I like.”

 

Jared gave me a reassuring smile before teleporting away, leaving me alone in the apartment. I walked to the spare room and opened the door. There were boxes neatly stacked in the corner, all labelled with the different rooms they came from. It was sad seeing everything I owned stacked into those six boxes and two suitcases. My furniture had come with the old apartment so it stayed there. I walked to the first box which was labelled bedroom. Opening it, the first thing in there was my photos. All wrapped up in bubble wrap. Of course on top, there was my graduation photo from Pilot training. I sat on the floor with a thump and finally let the tears that had been threatening all day spill over.

 

A year. It was just a year. I had to keep telling myself that otherwise, I’d never make it through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author Notes- 27th May, 2018.
> 
> So I began writing at the end 2014 and it took me quite a long time to actually start posting it because I was nervous about sharing it with the world. The first chapter was posted on FF.net in September 2015. Since then the story has grown beyond my expectations. My writing has grown as well (or so I hope) so I've decided to go through and start editing right from the start. It's mostly cleaning up SPAG and tightening up some of the storyline. I'll be making notes at the bottom of when chapters have been edited. It'll be a slow process and there won't be any huge changes to the story. Possibly just a few minor rewrites of certain scenes and general cleaning up of everything.
> 
> So for anyone joining me, welcome! For my wonderful readers who are doing a re-read. I hope you enjoy it as much this time around.


	2. Chapter 2

I sat in Jared’s car balancing a coffee and a bagel that we’d gotten at a coffee shop on the way to the Triskelion. I was still refusing to call it work yet. My first day. I was a mixture of feeling pissed off about being a newbie all over again and nervous as hell about it.

 

After unpacking half of my stuff Jared had come back with pizza and explained what would be happening tomorrow and until people get themselves sorted with my training. At least my first day would be straightforward I’d be expected to show up for PT every morning for the time being. After PT I’d go and get my uniforms, then spend the rest of the day with a flight instructor learning to fly a Quinjet. A SHIELD piece of technology unlike anything in the air. With the speed and manoeuvrability of an F-22, it could seat up to 20 people. Not only that it packed a small arsenal that would put a B2 bomber to shame. And it could be cloaked. Not just anti-radar technology, but actual real cloaking like something from a sci-fi movie. Beyond today, that’s all he knew about my schedule. Apparently, someone from Hill’s office would email me more details.

 

“So you look all fit and muscly.” Jared broke my thoughts glancing over at me. He was dressed in his workout gear with his uniform hung up in the back. Or so he told me. The expensive looking suit couldn’t possibly be a standard uniform. “I don’t think this morning will be a problem. It’s a mile and a half run, 20 push ups, 20 sit ups and 10 chin ups. This is mostly aimed at the office workers to get them ready to pass a fitness assessment and all the rookies.”

 

“Yeah piece of cake.” At least that was something I could be confident about. Being a fighter pilot made me very aware of my own fitness. Flying was hard on your body, so you had to be as fit as possible. Like most of the guys in my squadron I spent a lot of my spare time in the gym. While I couldn’t be crazy and lift the kind of weights some of the guys could, I was fit enough to breeze through a basic fitness assessment. At 5’10 and weighing in at 135lbs I was kind of skinny. I was one of those annoying people who could eat what they wanted and not gain weight. I hated it. It made my body look like a prepubescent boy. 

 

“Am I going to get more words out of you today then I did last night?” Jared asked with a flicker of annoyance crossing his face. “Come on Kari, it won’t be that bad. You're fucking insane, you’ll fit right in with STRIKE.”

 

“Just because I was a fighter pilot doesn’t mean I’m insane.” I rolled my eyes at Jared. It was a very bad habit I had. Jared kind of deserved the sass though, even if he was trying to be vaguely helpful. “Besides, all my psych tests came back as normal so you can’t use that excuse. How are yours?”

 

“Mine says I’m the most perfect person on the planet,” Jared said as he smirked at me. 

 

I rolled my eyes at him again. I hated that smug look on his face. It made me want to slap it off him when he did that. But then again I had the same problem as he did. That smug look of confidence that seemed to creep onto my face at the worst times possible. We might live completely separate lives but Jared and I were twins through and through. We looked near identical and often acted like it too. When someone told me I couldn’t do something, it was like they were daring me to. Even if I couldn’t do it that very second I’d work my ass off to make sure I could eventually. It’s why I had ended up flying Raptors. The recruiter scoffed at me when I told him it was what I wanted to do. He smugly informed me no female had done it yet. So I worked myself half to death to prove him wrong. It had been worth it in the end, or so I thought.

 

“You know I’m almost a bit scared to see what you're going to do here,” Jared laughed suddenly, the smug smirk gone. “I expect nothing but perfection from you, little sister.”

 

I wrinkled my nose a bit at that small show of affection. Jared was the oldest by 25 minutes.

 

“I half expect you to be so good you’ll end up with STRIKE Team Delta.” Jared was still laughing lightly. “I pity Coulson if that happens.”

 

“Sorry?” I asked having no idea what Jared was talking about.

 

“STRIKE Team Delta is Hawkeye and Black Widow, I’ve worked with them a bit.” Jared looked at me while he explained patiently. “Natasha Romanoff and Clint Barton, you would have heard the stories. Coulson is their handler.”

 

“Ah,” I said simply. I had heard the stories. Probably things my family shouldn’t be talking about in my presence because of clearance levels and all that shit that came with SHIELD. Missions going into places that I had to google to even find. Things that would make your toes curl about the stories that agents had done to complete missions. That’s where I really didn’t want to be. But I was treading down the path of doing exactly that. 

 

“Actually you’ll like Nat.” Jared had a small smile creep onto his face which made me look at him curiously. I knew that soft smile of his. It was usually reserved for me, or someone he really liked. “I’ll introduce you to her. You guys are very much alike.”

 

“How so?” I asked trying to keep the conversation going. Part of me wanted to sigh and turn to look out the window and ignore Jared’s conversation. But he really was trying to make things as smooth as possible. I still had to ask him the real reason he was stuck with me. 

 

“She’s confident, very smug of her own ability and doesn’t take shit from anyone,” Jared explained. “Very competitive too, you’ll have fun together. We’ll have dinner together one night or something. I’ve told her all about you. She’s dying to meet you.”

 

“Well, making some friends would be nice” I mused quietly. “Or at least someone who has an XX chromosome. Working with guys all the time gets old after a while.”

 

“Unfortunately that’s not going to change much.” Jared shot me a sympathetic smile. “Just don’t sleep with STRIKE guys, no matter how much you enjoy their big muscles. Most of them are sluts and complete assholes about it too.”

 

“No shit?, That doesn’t sound like any type of special forces that I know.” There was no hiding the sarcasm in my voice. My sass made Jared grin in response. “Like I wouldn’t have guessed that for myself? Come on Jared, I worked in an all-male environment for years. Trust me, I know that very well.”

 

“Just checking,” Jared said with an amused chuckle. “There is the occasional nice guy, but yeah you’d know the type pretty well.”

 

Yep, I did. Very well. Not only with pilots who tended to think they were a gift to women everywhere, but the numerous Special Forces I’d come across in my USAF career. I knew those types very well and tended to avoid them. I’d been lucky the few I’d slept with tended to be nicer guys who were in the same boat as me. Single and lonely but found it too hard with our careers to hold any type of relationship down. It always worked well for me.

 

We’d made it to the Triskelion. I took in a deep breath as we joined the small line up of cars to get into the garage. When it was our turn, Jared scanned his ID and the boom gates opened. He found a park in the already crowded garage, muttering under his breath the entire time about driving like a normal person was bullshit. It was a long walk to the training grounds, my nerves growing with every single step. I didn’t take in any sights around me as I walked there. I was too nervous for about how much my life was about to change. 

 

“Calm down,” Jared murmured under his breath as we stepped into the warm late summer sun. “I can feel your nerves, trust me you’ll be fine. You’ve got this all wrapped up. You always do.”

 

“Calming down,” I said automatically, forcing myself to take a few deep breaths. That was weird, we hadn’t spent enough time together for that to happen since we both left school. Jared and I were very close as kids, we could sense each other's emotions, feel pain when the other was hurting and when Jared teleporting skills grew he could teleport straight to me if I needed him. That had grown weaker over the years as we never practised it like we did when we were younger.

 

“Rumlow,” Jared called out breaking my concentration. He shot me a brief, but reassuring smile.

 

I followed him as he strode over to the person he called out to. Rumlow was a big guy, not only tall but muscle wise. His shirt seemed to have a hard time covering his bulging muscles. I tried not to stare at his chest and clearly defined abs against his tight shirt. Damn Jared was right, I did have a thing for big muscles. His dark hair was cut in a typical short back and sides. He had grey eyes which were now watching me intently. High cheekbones and a strong jaw that looked like it had a permanent 5 o’clock shadow. He was good looking. This might be harder than I thought to stay away from STRIKE guys if he was going to be the norm around here.

 

“Lyngley,” Rumlow said gruffly, but not before he very obviously looked me up and down. “And?”

 

“My sister, stop staring at her like you’ve never seen a pair of tits before,” Jared said simply without missing a beat. “Kari, this is Brock Rumlow, he’s in charge of PT at the moment so do as he says.”

 

“Hi,” I said, sticking my hand out. Rumlow gripped my hand hard and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. I just adjusted my grip as hard as he was. A knowing smirk started to play over his face and he held on for a few moments longer than necessary. I just held his grip and gaze firmly. No matter how nervous I was feeling at the moment, I wasn’t going to be that easily intimidated. I’d played this game plenty of times before with guys like him.

 

“Pleasure to finally meet Jared’s twin, you were a Raptor pilot?” Rumlow asked dropping his hand first. It took a lot of self control not to wince as the blood came rushing back to my fingers. Rumlow had a killer grip.

 

“That’s me, I’m sure Jared has told you all about how awesome I am.” My brain to mouth filter shut off as the words just dropped from my mouth before I could stop them. I just kept a look of indifference plastered on my face. Like I didn’t have a care in the world about what he thought of me.

 

“Yeah, he didn’t mention the part where you were hot though,” Rumlow’s smirk grew a little wider. “Let's go though. We can talk later.”

 

It took every bit of self control I had this morning not to roll my eyes at him. I’d half expected a comment like that, even though I didn’t think I was hot by any means. I was tall, skinny with no curves to speak of. My hair was so blonde it was nearly white, at the moment it was pulled back in a messy braid. It’d grown out to just below my shoulder blades and was fast becoming a pain to keep in check. Being so blonde, I had very fair skin that never tanned with blue eyes that I always thought looked too blue for my skin tone and too big for my head. My high cheekbones and full lips were the only things I thought to be my saving grace when it came to my looks. 

 

“Lead the way.” I quickly glanced back at Jared as I went to follow Rumlow. Jared smiled reassuringly once more and waved at me. He was gone before I could do anything else. No doubt to do his own morning routine, whatever that might be. 

 

“So,” Rumlow voice made me turn my attention back to him. “SHIELD finally caught your eye did it? Needed some more excitement in your life?”

 

“Something like that,” I lied lamely. I was a terrible liar. “Fury thought I’d be a good asset, so here I am.”

 

“Nothing to do with an incident at a bar where it mysteriously had a winter wonderland happen inside?” Rumlow glanced sideways at me. I sighed. Dammit, everyone had probably heard of that. If the gossip here was anything like being in the Air Force I wondered how many people I’d be sleeping with by the end of the day.

 

“Maybe.” I shrugged. I couldn’t think of anything to say to that. It was another reminder how much my life had been turned upside down over the last few days. I tried not to let my defeat show through my posture at least. “I thought that would have been so classified no one would be allowed to speak about it.”

 

“It’s no secret.” Rumlow’s expression turned curious as he watched me. “Everyone heard about it.”

 

“Of course they did,” I fought back the urge to sigh but I couldn’t get the grumble from my voice. I was hoping I’d have a fresh start. I’d prefer not have to start this job with something like that hanging over my head. Rumlow looked like he was going to reply, but whatever he was going to say died in his throat. We’d walked over to a large group of people waiting by the running track. It looked like a mix of white-collar workers and other agents. I had to remember there was a lot of different fields and jobs in SHIELD. It was a huge workforce, with over 12,000 people employed just in the US alone. I hadn’t started to read the SHIELD manuals Hill had sent home with me to begin to describe all the different positions. I only had a vague clue between Specialists, STRIKE and all the different fields that made up SHIELD. But that didn’t even begin to scratch the surface on the jobs. I had a feeling I’d be emailing Mom a lot of questions in these first few weeks.

 

“See that guy over there?” Rumlow pointed to another guy who was dressed in long compression pants with shorts over them and a baggy t-shirt. He was turned away from me so I couldn’t see anything more about him. “His name is Riley, he’ll show you through the motions this morning. Keep up and no complaining is all I ask for.”

 

“Thanks,” I said simply so I didn’t make any smart ass remarks to Rumlow. I didn’t need to be told to keep up. I could do that on my own very easily. Best not to start offending people on my first day. Otherwise, my year at SHIELD was going to be a very long one. I walked up to the guy Rumlow had pointed to and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and looked ready to snap at me, but whatever he said died on his lips as he saw me standing there. 

 

My own brain switched off standing there staring at him. I mentally smacked myself in the head. Dammit, I was only here five minutes and already running into all these very fit and hot guys. I was going to find it hard to keep my hands to myself. Riley was another good looking guy. His eyes were the first thing I noticed. I had never seen anyone with such gorgeous green eyes before. He didn’t have the typical short back and sides, his brown hair just lay in what could only be described as bed hair. He was muscly, but not huge like Rumlow. He hadn’t shaved leaving a light stubble across his face. 

 

“Hi, I’m Kari,” I felt like an awkward teenager as I managed to get the words out without stammering. “This is my first day. Rumlow told me to keep up with you and not complain.”

 

Riley looked me up and down, taking a moment longer than necessary to reply. He was trying his best to cover the fact he was just checking me out. 

 

“Umm, Hi,” Riley finally managed to say. He quickly scrubbed his hand over his face as if he was feeling his stubble and visibly winced. “Sorry, I’m not normally this scruffy looking.”

 

“Suits you,” I smiled but inwardly I cringed and wanted to go and bash my head against a wall for my stupidity. Could I be any more embarrassing?

 

“Smooth man, real smooth,” the guy Riley had been talking to laughed behind him. 

 

Riley’s ears started to turn red. Both of us were saved any further embarrassment by Rumlow calling out for everyone to start. I turned and started to follow the group, falling into an easy jogging rhythm. Riley fell into step beside me and didn’t say anything else to me. The entire run was boring, I was barely winded by the time I was done. I liked running, it gave me a sense of freedom and the ultimate high afterwards. I’d be glad to be able to run by myself again, whenever that was going to be. I felt the now familiar stab of regret and disappointment of my life not being my own at the moment. I already missed the two-mile jog I used to do around Langley base. With my earphones blasting whatever music I was enjoying at the time, it was always good fun. That was all gone now.

 

One year. I was already having to remind myself of the fact this morning. I only had to deal with this for one year. Like Jared said earlier, it might not be that bad. I just had to stay positive and work through whatever SHIELD threw at me. 

 

The chin-up bars were free so I decided to bite the bullet and get it done first. I hated chin-ups with a passion I had no upper body strength and the only reason I could do them was because I didn’t have that much body weight to actually pull up. When I got there I looked around for a box or something similar to get myself onto it. I frowned seeing there wasn’t one. I could easily jump up but knowing my luck right now I’d miss and fall on my ass. 

 

“Need a hand up?” Riley’s voice behind me surprised me enough to make me jump.

 

“Please,” I said, not having anything clever or cute to say. 

 

Riley grabbed my hips and effortlessly lifted me up. I had to stop myself from blushing like crazy. Goddammit, I needed to get laid badly the way I was carrying on. I quickly gripped the bar, hanging there for a second before starting. I couldn’t help but watch Riley out of the corner of my eye. He’d jumped up and grabbed the bar with both hands, but now was doing chin-ups with one arm. I eyed him enviously, I’d break my neck falling off the bar attempting to do something like that.

 

“Two hands for beginners.” Rumlow had walked over and was watching Riley intently. “Come on, you won’t get past your medical if you don’t work that arm.”

 

Riley grunted but grabbed the bar with both arms this time. I quickly finished my ten and went to drop off the bar. Rumlow stopped me before I could.

 

“No, you can keep going.” Rumlow stood there with his arms crossed looking serious. “Until I say stop.”

 

“Yes, Sir.” If that wasn’t a challenge, then I don’t know what was. I knew I was being tested and I just like the Air Force, I wasn’t going to back down because of some male ego.

 

By the time I hit 20 my arms felt like jelly. By 40, my shoulders wanted to rip themselves out of their sockets and beat me over the head for being so stupid. When 50 rolled around I didn’t think my arms were going to hold me for one more chin up.

 

“All right down,” Rumlow commanded. 

 

As soon as the words left his mouth I dropped from the bar. With the smart smirk on his face, I resisted the urge to rub my aching arms. That was going to be a bitch later on tonight. I was calling dibs on using all the hot water and soaking in the bath with half a box of epsom salts tonight. 

 

“Anything else Sir?” I said smartly covering my panting breaths. 

 

Rumlow cocked an eyebrow at me. I wondered if my sass was about to get me into even more pain than before. Rumlow glanced down at his watch, pursing his lips as if he was thinking deeply.

 

“Go and do push-ups until I tell you to stop. Proper push-ups. No on your knees bullshit.”

 

Yep. I was going to die by tonight. For once I was thankful for my skinny body. I didn’t have too much weight to work against me.

 

I was up to 70 when Rumlow called an end to PT. If I thought my arms were sore before, it had nothing on how much they ached now. Even my legs felt like jelly. Jared was waiting for me on the sidelines, already showered and dressed in his suit. I sighed enviously at how he could pull off something as simple as a black suit, Armani if I wasn’t mistaken. Nothing but the best for my twin. He had an expensive taste even as a kid. But even I couldn’t find a fault in his appearance. He was speaking to a curvy redhead who had her back turned to me. At seeing me walk up, Jared excused himself and came over to meet me. He had my gym bag in his hand which he handed to me.

 

“You look fucked,” Jared laughed as my arms shook taking the gym bag. I dropped it back on the ground just as quick.

 

“Bath is all mine tonight.” I finally let myself rub my aching arms. “Holy fuck, I did not expect that.”

 

“You’ll just have to find someone to rub you down,” Jared laughed again. “Poor baby. Go have a quick shower and then I’ll take you to get your uniforms then introduce you to your flight instructor.”

 

“Hey, Jared.”

 

The slightly familiar voice made my glance over to who spoke. It was Riley who’d come up behind us. He lingered, obviously feeling unsure of what to do.

 

“Hey, hows the arm feeling?” Jared flashed an easy smile.

 

“Better now there isn’t a hole in it,” Riley said with a quiet laugh. “Do you two know each other?”

 

I looked at Riley curiously. I wanted to know the story behind why his arm was sore now. The fact he was doing one-armed chin-ups must have meant an interesting injury.

 

“My twin sister Kari,” Jared introduced me, rather unnecessarily. “Be nice otherwise she’ll have your balls as a trophy.”

 

If Riley wasn’t standing right here, I might have punched Jared for being obnoxious. 

 

“Ah,” Riley said and shot me an unsure smile. “No wonder you look alike. I better head in anyway, I’m still stuck on light office duties.”

 

“So am I.” Jared pulled a disgusted face. “I’ll see you in there after I drop Kari off.”

 

“Have fun,” Riley’s statement was aimed at me. I could only give me a quick smile before he was turning away and walked off. I watched his retreating back, admiring the view of a perfectly toned ass. Damn, that man was a hottie. Jared turned to me with a smug smirk on his face. I quickly averted my eyes away from Riley’s ass.

 

“If you’re going to go for a STRIKE guy, him I don’t have a problem with,” Jared teased me. I had no reply except to give Jared a hard shove. It was enough to throw him off balance and take a few steps back. It didn’t wipe the smugness off his face though.

 

“I’m going to have a shower.” I didn’t dignify my twin with an answer. Great, Jared would tease me about this for the next year now. I breezed past him, picking up my gym bag as I went.

 

As I breezed off in my slight huff at Jared, I was very grateful for the group of people already walking towards the showers. Otherwise, I would have gotten lost within about two seconds. Huge didn’t even begin to describe the Triskelion. It was going to take me months to learn to get around here. The shower was barely warm so I didn’t bother to linger. I was in, out and dressed within five minutes. Last night Jared had thrown me in a basic SHIELD t-shirt and told me just to wear jeans with it for the moment. Jared was waiting outside the locker room, flicking on his phone looking bored. As soon as he saw me walked out, he started to walk off without waiting for me to catch up.

 

“So uniforms first, then I’m taking you straight to the hanger and introducing you to Ian McNaught who’ll be your pilot instructor,” Jared explained as I matched his long strides. “Once you’re done with him, which could be a few hours knowing Ian and the way he talks, your free for the rest of the day. Text me and I’ll tell you where I am.”

 

“So what did you do wrong to get stuck on office duties?” I asked curiously. Jared cleared his throat uncomfortably and scratched the side of his head. It took him a few seconds to reply. I enjoyed seeing him look so uncomfortable. Whatever Jared was about to say was going to be really good.

 

“I kind of got pissed off on my last mission and…” Jared trailed off, chewing on his lip looking embarrassed. “Kinda burnt a building down in Helsinki, along with my target that I was meant to bring in for questioning. So I’m in deep shit at the moment.”

 

I stared at Jared not sure whether I was horrified or I wanted to burst out laughing at how uncomfortable he looked about it. Here I was thinking I screwed up majorly with what happened to me. Let alone doing a complete fuck up on the job like that.

 

“Oops,” I snorted trying to hold back my laughter. “Bet you got an ass reaming for that one.”

 

“Understatement of the year.” Jared shot me a pained look, though there was a smile playing on his lips. “So yeah, I’m kind of glad you're here otherwise I’d be stuck in a basement doing filing and never seeing daylight for the next month.”

 

“Glad to be of service.” I couldn’t wipe the small grin off my face. At least some good was coming out of my shitty situation, for someone else at least. “Here I was thinking you’d be dying of boredom having me here.”

 

“Quite the contrary.” Jared returned the grin. “Don’t get me wrong, what happened to you is bullshit. But I’m very happy to have you around.”

 

We rounded a corner and came to an elevator. I followed Jared in and turned to look for the buttons. There were none. I looked at Jared in confusion. SHIELD was one of the most technologically advanced organisations on the planet. How did they not have buttons in the elevator?

 

“Logistics,” Jared said sending me a smug look. A disembodied voice confirmed what he said. I shot him an irritated glare. He could have told me there were no buttons before I stood there making myself look like an idiot. At least the elevator was empty so no one else saw it.

 

“Any other surprises?” I asked dryly as the elevator moved upwards.

 

“Oh yeah heaps, it is SHIELD after all,” Jared said easily. There was no lie in his tone. “Whatever you do, take the Recruit Survival Handbook really seriously.”

 

I stared at him, wondering if he was being serious or not. With the smirk he was desperately trying to hide, my guess was he was pulling my leg about what he had just told me. I got the feeling that would be happening a lot over the next month. At least I wasn’t stupid enough to go and try and find something like a left-handed screwdriver. 

 

“What?” Jared turned to look at me when I didn’t reply to his comment.

 

I shrugged and pretended to ignore him. It drove him insane when I did it. Two could play that game of being annoying. I didn’t get to annoy him for too long because we arrived on the floor for Logistics. I followed Jared out and steeled myself for yet another form of SHIELD torture.

 

Fortunately getting my uniforms was a quick process. Everything was already waiting for me and all I had to do was sign for it and get changed into the flight suit provided. Whoever did the sizing got it pretty much spot on. Even the heavy combat boots they provided me with fit perfectly. No doubt SHIELD has some strange way of doing it to make everything easier. Full body scans as you walked in the door or something equally as Star Trek like.

 

“How do I look?” I asked walking out of the change room. 

 

“Like a SHIELD pilot,” Jared said smartly. “Come on Knuckles lets go.”

 

The mention of my old callsign brought some mixed feelings back to the surface. The first reaction was always a smile thinking of the night I ended up being called that. But now I wanted to cry from it being my old life was over. A lump in my throat formed and I quickly blinked away any tears that wanted to form. I couldn’t cry. Nothing was going to change the situation I was in now. Tears and tantrums would only be a hindrance. I had to put my big girl pants on and just deal with the cards I’d been dealt with.

 

There was even more walking in the opposite direction of the way we came. I’m sure Jared was feeling it just as badly as I was. I didn’t miss the pair of Stefano Bemer dress shoes he had on. Here’s hoping they’d be comfortable to walk in for the price they were.  Jared would be used to teleporting everywhere to not ruin his obviously expensive clothes and shoes. Instead, he had me dragging my ass along behind him looking like a disgruntled teenager. This time when we went into the elevator on the opposite side of the building, I looked at Jared expectedly. 

 

“Hanger.” Jared couldn’t stop the small snort of laughter from escaping him.

 

“If I say somewhere over the rainbow will I get taken someone interesting?” I asked arching an eyebrow at Jared.

 

“Probably to R&D that deals with experimental drugs,” Jared said seriously. “Whatever you do, don’t piss R&D off. You won’t like the results.”

 

“Dad works in R&D,” I pointed out. “In New York.”

 

Dad also had a bad habit of bringing work home with him. There’d been plenty of times over the years I’d find his blueprints for new weapon technology. Things I’m sure I was never meant to see.

 

“Yeah but here is where they do all the cool experimental stuff. Like really cool stuff. When you're a real agent you’ll find out about it.”

 

I didn’t have a comeback to that at all. Even though he was being an annoying tease, Jared was right. I wouldn’t find out about all these things until I was a full agent. Not just a recruit with a shitty paper ID that I was given yesterday.  

 

The elevator opened a few times on the way down. I got crowded to the back of the elevator, squished next to Jared. A few agents nodded in his direction and all did a double take looking at me. It made me shrink behind Jared as much as I could to get away from the prying eyes. The elevator cleared by the time we went down thirty floors.

 

The hanger was incredible. It was bigger than anything I had ever seen before, and all underground. There was no runway, just a short ramp leading out the side of the building.

 

“Whoa,” I couldn’t help myself as I gazed around. The fleet of Quinjets all sat in neat rows along the tarmac. The entire place was a massive hive of activity. Everything from technicians to fully armed STRIKE squads walked around. One Quinjet was backing out from its spot and I couldn’t help but stop and just stare. The manoeuvrability even while moving out was incredible. The reason why there was no runway was because the damn things could hover.  VTOL, or Vertical Takeoff and Landing was obviously well developed here. The excitement that I was about to fly one of these kicked in, chasing away all the shitty feelings of today.

 

“Here he is,” Jared said brightly breaking me from my thoughts. I whirled around quickly and smiled, eager to meet my instructor.

 

“Yeah, go away teleporting boy,” the man’s thick Irish accent was hard to understand. “Give me your sister who is a real pilot. Ian McNaught.”

 

Ian stuck his hand out in greeting. I quickly shook his head in hopes we could get the pleasantries out of the way so I could get my ass into a seat. Right now.

 

Ian looked to be in his late 50’s. Like nearly everyone else I’d seen here at SHIELD, he was still in top physical condition. His receding brown hair sprinkled with grey was the only indication of his age. He’d pretty much pushed Jared aside to talk to me. I had a feeling we’d get on well.

 

“So let's get you settled into your new baby.” Ian didn’t bother with a goodbye to Jared. He started to walk down the stairs. I had to stop myself bouncing along beside him like an excited puppy. But damn, I seriously couldn’t wait to fly again. Things had been quiet back at Langley and I hadn’t gotten any flying time for two weeks. I hoped SHIELD would give me more than 20 flying hours a month. At least that would go towards making things better.

 

“I have two rules,” Ian continued without waiting for a reply from me. “Don’t fuck with me while I’m napping and do as your told. You’re the first person I’ve had to teach who can actually fly so I expect to be able to get a lot of reading and napping done over the next few weeks. My wife snores like a lumberjack so I appreciate my nana naps during the day.”

 

I laughed albeit nervously. Just because I could fly didn’t mean I wasn’t going to screw this up. My excitement started to bounce between nerves as we walked across the tarmac.

 

“This is us.” Ian motioned to a Quinjet with the ramp open. “It’s the last generation model, so it doesn’t pack the firepower the new ones do. But it flies exactly the same. Let's get to it.”

 

“Do I call you Sir?” I asked just to try and get some kind of word in. I had a feeling Ian would talk all day without any breaks if he could.

 

“Fuck no,” Ian snorted in obvious displeasure. “Ian is fine. Agent McNaught if you really have to. However, you call me Lucky Charms or anything to do with Leprechaun’s then we’ll have an issue. In you go, Pilot is yours. Preflight is done so we can just get in the air straight away. We’re flying to Dallas and back this afternoon.”

 

“Right.” I did as I was told and sat in the pilot seat. Looking around me everything looked familiar and nothing overly complicated. It wasn’t a lot different from sitting in my usual cockpit. Except it was bigger, I didn’t have to wear an anti-g-suit and I had a SHIELD patch on my arm instead of the bright yellow 27th Fighter Squadron patch. 

 

Ian quickly pointed out a few things I’d need to know. Namely the VOTL function which I’d need for take off and landing. With some trepidation, I took the joystick and let out a shaky breath.

 

“Go on love, you’ll be fine.” Ian’s smile gave me some confidence. “Nothing you haven’t done before. How many flight hours have you logged?”

 

“Umm, somewhere in the 600 hour range,” I said honestly, hoping it didn’t sound like I was bragging. “That’s actual flight hours, not simulator training. It’s only that high because I seemed to be the only idiot volunteering for missions and was always the idiot who got lumped with flying things places no one else wanted to..”

 

“So let's go.” Ian motioned to the controls in front of us. “Let's rack up another four hours to that total.”

 

Under Ian’s careful guidance the Quinjet roared to life underneath me. The throb of the engine and noise brought a genuine smile to my face. My nerves disappeared the second I started to taxi out of the hanger. The Quinjet handled like a dream on the ground. I flicked on the turbo rotors which served to make the aircraft vertical. It was a strange feeling being lifted off the ground, instead of hitting the stick hard to take off. Ian took care of the chatter from the control tower as I got us into the air. The coordinates were put in and I wheeling around the Triskelion into the gorgeous blue morning. 

 

“See nothing to it, these things are designed to be completely idiotproof.” Ian turned to me once we were flying. “If there’s ever an emergency and the pilot is killed, then they can be flown with minimal problems with any kind of training. The autopilot even does the takeoff and landing sequence if it needs to. Hows your first day at SHIELD going?”

 

“Well, I haven’t done anything to embarrass myself yet,” I said honestly, glancing out the side window watching the landscape fall away further and further as I climbed. “But the day is young, anything can happen.”

 

“My first week in SHIELD I was still in Dublin.” Ian settled back in the co-pilot chair. “Director Carter had come over for some reason. I was so excited that I was running down the hallway to get to my jet and I ran straight into her. Unfortunately for me I had a full cup of coffee and spilled it all over her beautiful cream coloured suit. Let's just say I spent the rest of his visit hiding as far away as possible. I never lived it down either.”

 

“Now I’m going to spend all week making sure I’m not carrying any coffee,” I laughed at Ian. At least I knew who he was talking about. Director Peggy Carter was a friend of my Grams. She was one of my heroes growing up. “So what brought you to the US?”

 

“A woman.” Ian grinned, making him look years younger. “Just couldn’t resist her Southern charm and next thing I know, I’m posted here in DC, married and three kids happened. Can’t for the fucking life of me remember how it all happened.”

 

The way he said it and with his heavy Irish accent cracked me up. I could barely get a word in after that as Ian filled me in on his family. It wasn’t until I’d hit Dallas Airport airspace that we turned around. Ian decided he was going to have a sleep in the back and told me to wake him up when we got to DC. I kept the jet on manual, not wanting to play with autopilot just yet and enjoyed the peace and quiet of being up in the air. The Quinjet flew like a dream, even at a higher altitude it had some serious cruising speed. This is where I was happiest. It might not be the F-22 Raptor I’d worked so hard to achieve it was still pretty awesome. I didn’t even have to wake Ian up. He was back in the co-pilot seat just as soon as I hit the border. 

 

Our landing was cleared right away. I managed to land and taxi the Quinjet back into its original position without any problems. When I powered down Ian turned to me again.

 

“Well, this has been fun Miss Lyngley, let's do it again tomorrow.” Ian unbuckled himself from the chair. “You can pick somewhere to go, I’ll bring coffee and we’ll have a grand adventure. How do you have your coffee?”

 

“Thanks, Ian,” I couldn’t keep the giddy smile off my face. This had been a lot of fun. I followed suit, unbuckling myself and then walking out of the jet close behind him “I drink vanilla lattes.”

 

“Done and done, much better than those idiot STRIKE boys who seem to think its cool drinking coffee black straight from the pot.” Ian pulled a disgusted face. He gave my shoulder a small squeeze of encouragement. “The only time that’s acceptable if when it’s Irish coffee. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

With a wave, Ian walked off in the opposite direction of the stairs. I pulled my cell out of my pocket and sent Jared a text letting him know I was finished. As soon as the message came up as read, Jared teleported next to me.

 

“You’re still in one piece, that means everything went well,” Jared teased. “I have a fuckload of books for you by the way. But we’re free to go.”

 

“What kind of books?” I asked not liking the sound of this. I liked reading, even if it was something as boring as field manuals. But this sounded like a whole new level of torture. 

 

“All the SHIELD manuals you will ever need,” Jared explained with an evil glint in his eye. “Plus all my old textbooks from the Academy. Just some light nighttime reading for you.”

 

I didn’t believe a word that came out of his mouth. My happy little adrenaline high from flying was fast being taken over by dread for what else was about to come. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited and reuploaded- 27th May 2018


	3. Chapter 3

“Hey Jared?” I asked with a frown at the pages of the SHIELD manual I was reading. I wanted to make sure what I was reading was absolutely crystal clear. I’d read the paragraph about ten times now and still couldn’t believe my eyes on what I was actually reading. We’d gotten home a few hours ago and being the good little nerd I was, settled in to read the mountain of books supplied to me. The things like the SHIELD Code of Conduct could be left for a time while flying on autopilot. I wanted to know more about Operations, so I had grabbed the first book about that. Only halfway through it, I wasn’t sure if I was going to cope with all of this. There was some heavy shit in there and what I had just read really took the cake. 

 

Jared was sitting on the couch, beer in hand watching a DVD. He looked up as I walked from my bedroom into the lounge room.

 

“So I’m reading this weird thing about working with partners and all that jazz.” My frown deepened, skimming over the offending paragraph again. “And there’s actually something written here about if your partner goes rogue, then you’re the one sent to eliminate the threat. Am I seriously getting what it’s saying? That SHIELD sends you in to scrub your partner out if they go nuts?”

 

“Yeah.” Jared nonchalant shrug made both of my eyebrows climb up into my hairline. “Standard protocol.”

 

“Wow, that’s cold.” I couldn’t quite believe how chill Jared was about this. “Didn’t you have a partner at one stage? Peter? Paul? Started with P anyway. I think I met him once.”

 

“Phillip,” Jared corrected me. “Yes I did and you did meet him once. I work better alone. Makes it easier when I can just teleport. Another person working with me is just dead weight.”

 

“Oh.” I stood there feeling even more unsure of myself now. The brief feeling of being bliss at able to handle a Quinjet without any hassles had now flittered away getting halfway through my SHIELD manual for Operations. 

 

“Don’t read into it too much Kari,” Jared said, giving me a reassuring smile. “Chances are if you have a partner and they go rogue, they’ll try and kill you as well so it makes it easier. Besides, you’ll probably have a team rather than a partner. So a lot of that stuff isn’t going to apply to you.”

 

“I seriously can’t get it all straight in my head.” I huffed out a sigh of annoyance. I walked over to the couch and flopped down on it next to Jared, throwing the heavy book on the coffee table. “I mean why all the different operational fields? Why can’t SHIELD be easy and just have two categories, people who kill people and people who sort out the paperwork for the people who kill people? I mean I don’t even know what your real job title is.”

 

“Specialist.” Jared reached over and paused the DVD. The serious look on his face meant he was actually going to be helpful for once. “It’s a grown-up term for a super spy. So, don’t worry about specific terms. SHIELD seriously comes up with new jobs and words every different week. You’ll go nuts trying to learn every single job out there. Break it down into 4 divisions. You’ve got Operations, which is basically your tactical and arms security units. They’re the muscle who handle everything on the front line. So that’s who you’ll get to play with. Then you’ve got Science and Technology, which is where all the nerds work. You should have worked there with your smart brain. Dad would have loved that.”

 

I pulled a disgusted face at Jared’s remark. Dad had made that exact comment many times. I’d go nuts working in a lab all day. He kept going so I couldn’t reply to him.

 

“Communications are generally the scary computer hackers who you never let near anything you have electronic because they’ll either screw it up or make it so they can spy on you. Those are the people who hack the Pentagon in their lunch break for a bit of fun at work. Then you have Administration. That’s Moms side of things, along with all the usual fields that you need to run a big company like accounting, HR, PR and all that stuff.”

 

“I hate being a newbie all over again.” I sighed heavily sinking down into the couch. It was hell trying to absorb all the information. “I mean I’m grateful I know what SHIELD is and what they do, but all this stuff I’ve been given makes me feel like I’m cramming for an exam I know I’m never going to pass. Like that semester of music, I had to take and it was the only class I’d ever come close to failing.”

 

“They are trying to cram two years of work into your head in a month.” Jared reached over and gave my leg a small squeeze. “I can remember this shit because I went to the Academy and I did have to remember it for exams. You only have to know the bare bones of it so you can be thrown in the field ASAP. From what I remember you got an A- for music. So stop stressing over that shit and have a beer with me. I’m watching Mean Girls because my brain needs to switch off.”

 

Jared kicked the manual off the coffee table. It landed with a heavy thump on the floor. I wouldn’t admit it but there was a certain satisfaction seeing the heavy book land on the floor. I’d seen Mean Girls before but it didn’t stop me from doing as Jared requested. I got up and grabbed my own beer and sat back down on the couch. Jared hit play and the movie started again. It was enough to make me forgot about my worries for a while. 

 

“So how did you get along with Lucky Charms?” Jared asked me halfway through the movie. 

 

“That’s so unoriginal.” I didn’t bother to drag my eyes from the TV. “He was funny, let me fly to Texas and back so he could have a nap. Apparently, I can fly without needing too much supervision.”

 

“I should fucking hope so, the Air Force let you fly a 150 million dollar jet,” Jared said with an amused snort. “SHIELD’s 20 million dollar jet shouldn’t be so much of an issue. So that’ll be fun for the next month, just flying around not really doing anything.”

 

“Can you fly a Quinjet?” I asked thinking back to the conversation with Ian about how SHIELD had designed them to be idiot proof in case of emergency. Worst case scenario the Quinjet could be flown remotely, or so I’d found out while reading one of my other books. Even I was impressed at how easy it was to fly. It still didn’t make it any less fun though.

 

“Hell fucking no.” Jared shook his head rapidly. His quick dismissal of my question made me smile. Jared had a fear of flying. Apparently, it hadn’t diminished over the years. “Last time I went in one was because I had to get my parachute qualification. That was bad enough, let alone sitting in one and learning to fly it. I’ll keep my feet firmly on the ground thank you very much.”

 

I laughed under my breath at Jared. I had completely forgotten about his fear of flying. Having the ability to teleport anywhere he needed made any kind of normal mode of transport redundant for him. I really didn’t blame him though. I hated flying when someone else was the pilot. I knew what can go wrong and how quickly it does go wrong. It didn’t leave me much confidence leaving my life in the hands of someone else. I had trust issues with things like that.

 

“I start with some of the other stuff tomorrow as well,” I said, enjoying the light conversation with Jared. I’d gotten the email on the way home outlining my schedule for the next two weeks.  “I’m doing a hand to hand combat class straight after PT. Hill wants me to sit in on some of the mission briefs to learn what goes on. The bottom of the email had something about doing some other training if they can fit it in. It feels like SERE training all over again.”

 

“Yep, where we don’t have to play by the rules of interrogation and torture.” Jared looked over at me with an evil grin appearing on his face. “If you get the class where they ask for a volunteer to get waterboarded, be the volunteer. Otherwise, you cop the full brunt of a proper one instead of half a bottle of water splashed on your face.”

 

“You are absolutely terrifying,” I laughed despite the seriousness of his words. Odd didn’t even begin to describe this situation. Sitting here on a Tuesday afternoon, drinking beer while watching Mean Girls, discussing the weird shit that goes on behind closed doors in SHIELD. The things I was reading was all in a manual for basic recruits. It made me wonder what I’d know and learn about when I got the proper security clearance.

 

“Yeah well, wait until the day you ask me how to get blood off your clothes,” Jared laughed with me. “I have a different trick for every fabric out there. It’s a delicate but necessary subject. You seriously can’t soak an Armani suit in coke, it just ruins it.”

 

I had taken a drink of beer when Jared started to talk. At his last sentence, he made me laugh so hard the beer shot out from my nose. I quickly held my sleeve up to my face to stop the offending liquid spraying everywhere. My reaction just made Jared laugh even harder.  Neither of us could stop it, I nearly fell off the couch I was laughing so hard. My stomach hurt by the time we had both stopped laughing.

 

“This is so fucking crazy,” I said when I got the breath to speak again. “I really don’t know what I’ve gotten myself into.”

 

“Nothing that you can’t handle,” Jared reassured me, handing me a napkin. “Trust me on that one.”

 

I wish I had the same confidence in myself as Jared did in me. But his words were comforting. If my own twin believed I could get through this, then maybe I just might.

 

“I’ll pay for dinner tonight. Wanna go out somewhere?” I changed the subject. Jared’s face lit up at the mention of eating out.

 

“I know the perfect place. Let me make some reservations for us. You’ll love HeeBeen.”

 

* * *

 

PT was easy in the morning. Even though every muscle screamed at me for the torture Rumlow put me through yesterday. The hour long soak in an epsom salt bath after dinner hadn’t helped that much. Mentally it was a lot better walking into the Triskelion knowing what to expect, at least for my first hour. I ended up jogging next to Riley again, which was silent except for the lift up onto the chin up bar. Rumlow didn’t make me do 100 chin-ups, but he did make me change from chin-ups to pull ups halfway through. My arm muscles were not happy with him at all. I swore at him under my breath in Russian the entire time I was doing pull-ups. I was going to have some epic biceps by the time Rumlow was done with me.

 

When PT was finished I started to head back inside. It was only when I got to the door, I realised I had no idea where the gym was. I stood at the edge of the field and bit my lip in uncertainty. I’m sure there were signs somewhere. I wasn’t confident of my ability to not to get lost and then be very late for the class.

 

“Lost already?” Riley’s tone was teasing as he came up behind me. I turned around, grateful for a familiar face. Even if he didn’t speak to me beyond saying hello earlier. Either he was really shy, or I’d already made a fool of myself. I had bets on it being the latter rather than the former.

 

“I have no idea where the gym is,” I laughed to cover my embarrassment. It came out a bit too high pitched and off. “And I have to be there in 10 minutes for a hand to hand combat class. Which I’m going to suck at so this morning is going to be terrible.”

 

Fuck Kari. I mentally smacked myself. Shut the hell up woman. Verbal diarrhoea didn’t even come close to what I had just spewed out. Thankfully Riley smiled at me, not looking worried about my verbal shit at all. 

 

“I’ll walk you there if you’d like?” Riley asked. “I’m in no hurry to sit at a desk all day.”

 

“Thank you.” It was hard to keep the grateful gush out of my voice. That was sweet of him to help me out.  We both walked off and I broke the silence quickly.

 

“So what happened to your arm?”

 

“I got shot through my bicep,” Riley explained with a shrug, It made it sound like it wasn’t an uncommon occurrence around here. “It was a stupid injury and it’s taking ages to heal up.”

 

“Ouch,” I said sympathetically. I’d never been shot but I remembered when Jared had a bullet graze once. He whined about it for months afterwards. “How did that happen?”

 

“I put my arm up to fire at someone, didn’t see the enemy on my side and he got me through the arm.” Riley absently rubbed his left arm. I secretly enjoy the view of his arm muscles flexing under the tight shirt he had on today.  “So yeah, no big exciting story behind it. Sorry to disappoint.”

 

“I’ve never been shot so you’ve got one up on me.” I wanted to smack myself for real this time. Why is it my brain just switches off when I talk to good looking guys? This is probably why I couldn’t even hold a fuck buddy down. I just spewed out random shit making me sound like a total idiot.

 

“I’d hope not.” Riley smile eased my discomfort. “After all, weren’t you a Raptor pilot?”

 

“That was me.” I smiled back ignoring the pang of sadness that came with thinking of my old life. I had to stop letting myself do that. Wallowing in my own pity party wasn’t going to help me. “Not exactly a skill set I needed, learning the dodge bullets.”

 

Riley chuckled but didn’t reply. I hadn’t paid any attention to where I was walking. I was too busy watching Riley out of the corner of my eye. He’d shaved today, but his hair was still messy. He smelt really good, despite being sweaty from PT. There was a very light lingering smell of some expensive cologne. At least if I wanted to do anything Jared wouldn’t flip his shit over me trying to sleep with Riley. The gym wasn’t that far away, still on the ground level which made sense. If the layout was done properly hopefully the locker room wasn’t too far away. The size of this place was going to be the bane of my existence for the next year.

 

“Have fun,” Riley said stopping at the double doors in front of us.

 

“I’ll try,” I grimaced, bracing myself for the inevitable of what was going to be a killer session. I was already sore and this wasn’t going to help in the slightest with my aching muscles. I turned and put my hand on the door to open it. 

 

“Hey, Kari?” Riley’s voice made me stop. I glanced back at him.

 

“If you need a hand with anything just let me know, I’m bored out of my mind at the moment and don’t mind helping,” Riley said in a huge rush. By the look on his face, it didn’t feel like I was the only one who couldn’t keep their mouth shut. I felt a more genuine smile tug on my face.

 

“Thanks.”

 

We stood there just looking at each other before I cleared my throat. I really wanted a few more seconds with him. The little chat we had on the way here had made my day so far.

 

“I better get in there,” I said reluctantly after a few more seconds.

 

“Yeah sorry, see you at PT tomorrow,” Riley spoke just as quickly as before. I gave him one last final smile before I opened the gym door. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a shy smile creep onto Riley’s face as he turned away. 

 

As I opened the door, I braced myself for what was about to come. I wasn’t the first to arrive, but at least I was on time. Most of the people seemed to know each other. Everyone was in small groups and chatting amongst themselves. All the people in the groups were wearing some kind of shirt from the Academy. They were all fresh rookies doing their final rounds before becoming full agents. Technically I was no different from them. I hung on the edge of the crowd feeling awkward and a bit lost by myself. I wished Jared had walked me in, he might have known somebody to palm me off too. Anything was better than standing here feeling like a loner. It was a feeling I knew all too well. While I was never a complete outcast, in high school and the Air Force, I never really had any close friends. I was always on the edge of the social groups. Nobody hated me except for a few bullies in high school, but I wasn’t exactly being invited to all the parties and social gatherings either. I ended up taking Jared to my prom because I was too damn unsure of myself to contemplate asking anyone.

 

“All those doing the hand to hand combat, here now.” A tall, dark-haired Agent walked in and headed straight for the matts already put down. I followed the group, most of the people were glancing at each other looking slightly nervous. I’m glad I wasn’t the only one looking unsure now. The group huddled around the edges waiting for further instruction.

 

“I’m Agent Rollins,” the agent spoke folding his arms over his chest. He looked like a typical STRIKE guy, big muscles and short haircut. “I’ll be your instructor over the next few months. First things first, I don’t like complainers. If you're going to complain and not do as your told, the door is over there.”

 

Rollins uncrossed his arms and pointed towards the door.

 

“Two, except for one special case, the rest of you are doing your last semester at the Academy. I will be sending regular reports back. Piss me off or slack off in class and you’ll find yourself behind a desk and definitely not in the field. Which one of you is Lyngley?”

 

I tentatively raised my hand. It was hard not to shrink under the glare Rollins sent in my direction. My earlier thoughts were confirmed. This was not going to be fun at all.

 

“I don’t like special cases.” Rollin’s glare made me want to disappear and never come back. All the people standing near me parted leaving me standing there by myself. “Especially not ones that I have to pass regardless of what happens in this class. Just because you're a mutant and the twin sister of Fury’s favourite pet spy doesn’t give you special privileges. Am I clear?”

 

Ouch. That burnt. I hated being called a mutant for starters. Gifted or Enhanced was such a nicer term. I didn’t expect any special treatment and this wasn’t my choice. Right now I’d be more than happy to be far, far away from him and this class. But here I was. Most people backed away from me even further when they heard that. Great, I was going to be treated like a leper. Jared being Fury’s favourite was something new though.

 

“Crystal clear Sir.” I hoped a little obedience and respect might be helpful. Judging by the heated glare Rollins kept levelling at me, I doubted anything I did was going to help now. I squared my shoulders and gritted my teeth. It was only for a few weeks. I could deal with it for that long. Well, I hoped I could deal with it for that long. 

 

“Pair off,” Rollins commanded shortly. “Let's move people.”

 

I looked around with growing dismay. Of course, there had to be an odd number of people and I was left standing there by myself looking like an idiot. I folded my arms across my chest, clearing my throat. Rollins just looked at me with another hard glare.

 

“Guess I don’t need a volunteer for today then.”

 

Yep. Today was going to suck.

 

By the time I’d limped my way back to the locker room, I was running late for my flying session already. Rollins seemed to enjoy making a complete idiot of me in front of everyone else. No matter what I did I couldn’t get anything right. Every move he showed me and I tried to replicate at him ended up in another bruise and more aching muscles. Any confidence I’d been feeling was shattered all over those damn matts in the gym. It felt like there wasn’t any part of my skin that wasn’t bruised or red. I’d had copped an absolute ass kicking from Rollins. All because he didn’t like having me there.

 

I wasn’t normally a crier. But right now I could feel tears of frustration welling up inside of me. This rollercoaster of emotions I kept going on was terrible. One minute life didn’t seem so bad here at SHIELD. Then the next I wanted to go and find a deep, dark hole to crawl into and never come out.  What’s worse was I didn’t have time for a shower. I just sprayed myself down with deodorant and changed into my flying suit. Here’s hoping Ian wouldn’t mind too much. I don’t think I could take anymore yelling at today. I let myself have one sniffle of disappointment before wiping my face and leaving the locker room. I managed to make it to the hanger without getting lost. Ian was waiting at the bottom of the stairs for me, two cups of coffee in his hands.

 

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” I apologised quickly as I ran down the stairs as fast as I could without tripping over my own feet. “I had a hand to hand combat class and it ran over.”

 

“Doesn’t worry me, you get here when you get here.” Ian brush off and smile did nothing to make me feel any better. He handed me the coffee cup in his left hand. “Vanilla latte as requested, you look glum. What’s wrong?”

 

“Glum,” I forced myself to chuckle. I had to otherwise there was a strong chance I might burst into tears in the middle of the hanger. “That sounds very British of you. Thought you were Irish.”

 

Truthfully I didn’t really want to speak about what happened in my class. It was better left there and just focus on everything else for the day. I could wallow in my own misery in private back at Jared’s apartment. Preferably with a glass of scotch and dry. While sitting in the bath with music as loud as I could handle. That sounded like an amazing plan for when I got back to Jared’s apartment.

 

“Through and through.” Ian wasn’t buying my brush off. “You're a Yank through and through so that's interesting for you to think that’s British. You still didn’t answer the question though.”

 

“I spent four months in the UK over summer holidays when I was 17,” I stalled for a little bit longer. Ian’s raised eyebrow and steady gaze made me sigh. I wasn’t getting away with this no matter how much I tried. “It’s nothing, just didn’t have a very good time in my class. Agent Rollins gave me a bit of an ass kicking because I apparently suck at hand to hand.”

 

“Typical STRIKE boys.” Ian rolled his eyes. “All brawn and no brains. I wouldn’t worry about it love. If he feels that he needs to hit a skinny girl to make himself feel manly then he isn’t worth your time worrying about.”

 

I didn’t have a reply to that. If only it was that easy to brush it off. I sipped my coffee and enjoyed the caffeine and sugar. We’d arrived at the same Quinjet as yesterday. Ian motioned for me to get in and I went straight to the pilot seat. Today the preflight wasn’t done, so I grabbed my clipboard and started to go through the checklist. I was silent while Ian chattered about nothing of concern until we got into the air again. I nodded and faked a smile in the right places, well I hoped it was the right places. I was only half listening, still letting myself wallow in my pity party from this morning.

 

“Right. You know how I said yesterday that you can pick where we’re going today?” Ian suddenly asked. I nodded in confirmation, sitting up a little straighter. I really had to listen now. “Yeah, that’s not going to happen now. Swing out over the ocean and we’re going to drop to 500ft and you're going to see how fast you can go.”

 

“Seriously?” I turned to Ian with a raised eyebrow. “500ft is pretty damn low. I would have gotten my ass kicked doing that in the Air Force.”

 

“Yes, seriously.” Ian waved his hand in the air in dismissal. “Off you go. When we come back we’ll go via Nevada so you can drop a few bombs as well.”

 

I just stared at Ian not sure if he was joking or not. He looked at me with both his eyebrows raised as if he was waiting for me to argue.

 

“I am not sitting here watching you brood for the next 3 hours, so let's go fly really fast then go blow some shit up. That should make you smile.”

 

“Are we really allowed to do that?” I asked. Regardless of the answer I quickly changed the flight path to over the Atlantic instead of the course I had set earlier. I was going to fly to California and back. It was the first place that had popped into my mind.

 

“No, but why the fuck not?” Ian smiled brightly. His excited smile made my lips tug up a little. “I retire in a month, what are they going to do? Fire me? Pfft, fuck it lets do something fun.”

 

Despite my shitty mood I smiled back fully this time. My thoughts exactly, why the fuck not? If we weren't going to get into trouble for it, may as well. Blowing stuff up always put me in a good mood. Whether it was cans full of petrol or the full arsenal of a Raptor.

 

“You look too young to be retiring.” I finally contributed to the conversation between us instead of just nodding and pretending to smile.

 

“Love I’m 65, more than old enough to be retiring,” Ian laughed at me. “After working in SHIELD nearly my entire life, I’m happy I made it to retiring age. It’s a rarity in our line of work.”

 

“Were you always a pilot?” I asked curiously. Beyond casual conversation, I didn’t know a lot about Ian. It’d be good to get to know my instructor at least a little bit. Something told me I’d be spending a lot of time with him over the next few weeks. I pushed aside his comment about retiring being a rarity on this line of work. After reading my manual last night it wasn’t a surprise to hear a comment like that so casually flung around.

 

“No, I was STRIKE actually until my first child was born.” Ian smiled looking lost in memory. “Then I found it harder and harder to deal with missions, so I requested to be transferred. I already had some flight experience so becoming a pilot was just the next step. All the adrenaline rush with about a quarter of the risk. As time went on I began to do some teaching along the way and eventually I was asked to take over the head instructor position, oh about ten years ago now. You’re my very last student. I have to admit I’m happy to get someone so easy.”

 

“I hope I don’t disappoint you then.” My lack of confidence from this morning was still gnawing at me. Glancing out the window we were clear over the ocean now. I pushed the jet downwards and felt the thrill of the acceleration the closer to the surface we went. 

 

“Love, trust me. You’re not going to be a disappointment. Let it rip,” Ian said, casually lounging back in his chair. “Don’t hold back. It’s good fun. See if you can push Mach 2.”

 

“We aren’t wearing anti-g-suits.” I pointed out while carefully applying more throttle. I kept my eye on the controls, not sure if I was ready to trust myself at this speed so low in a jet which controls I only had a basic grasp of. Ian was right though, it was a lot of fun despite my reservation about it. The speed was steadily climbing with very little input from me.

 

“Inertia negation,” Ian said casually. “Ever heard of it?”

 

“Yeah in Star Trek,” I snorted in disbelief. “Though it was incorrectly referred to as inertia damper. It’s a theory.”

 

“Yeah not so much,” Ian informed me smugly. “SHIELD found on a way to apply it to its aircraft. So we can hit Mach 2 while doing a J turn and feel like your on a passenger jet. Come on, more stick there girl. Go faster.”

 

I eyed the airspeed indicator warily but did I was instructed. I was sitting just on 600mph and without much input from me, we climbed easily to 700mph. 

 

“Mach 1, let's go,” Ian pushed. I couldn’t help but laugh a little at his childish enthusiasm. He was unlike any flight instructor I had ever known. Most of them wanted you to fly sensibly, not push the aircraft to its limits just for the sake of it. Then again, this was SHIELD. An entire organisation that was about pushing the limits in everything they did. 

 

“Actually, show me some fancy fighter pilot shit.” Ian challenged me. “Come on, you didn’t get to fly Raptors straight from flight school because we were average. My guess is you can bust some slick moves. Just remember these Quintets are idiot proof, you won’t crash it even if you try.”

 

I shrugged at his challenge. Then yanked back on the stick as hard as I could and put a lot of rudder input in the pedals. The Quinjet effortlessly climbed and rolled at the same time, putting us in an over the top high-g barrel roll. It had been a movement I’d worked on in my last ever flight in a Raptor. I’d been pretty happy that day because I’d pulled it off without a hitch. Even some of the more seasonal pilots were impressed by it. I had been impressed I had been able to do it without blacking out or losing control. It put a hell of a lot of strain on your body. But with the technology in the Quinjet, it just felt like I had given us a lazy roll over in the sunshine. When I pulled out of the manoeuvre even I was smiling. Ian was laughing at me. He reached over and clapped me on the back.

 

“Nice work, see that brought a smile to your face.” Ian grinned. “Now, go faster and then we’ll go blow some shit up.”

 

“I can’t argue with that,” I laughed with him. I pushed the Quinjet back down to low altitude and hit the throttle harder than before. Watching the airspeed indicator, we hit Mach 1.4 and went Supersonic. It was only then I felt the real power sitting below me. How SHIELD ever managed to keep this kind of technology out of the military’s hands was incredible. This was like nothing I had ever seen before. I always thought the Raptors would never be topped in terms of handling, speed and manoeuvrability. I was definitely wrong. The day's troubles melted away from me the higher the airspeed indicator climbed. 

 

“So, will I get in trouble tomorrow if I attempt to do a vertical take off like you can in a Raptor?” I asked Ian. I made a high-speed turn, tipping us to the side before rightening back up. I was loving the handling on the Quinjet. It was a dream come true. 

 

“Only if you do a sonic boom and break all the windows in the Triskelion,” Ian grinned again. “Actually, please do something like that tomorrow. There’s a group of Quinjets heading out at stupid o’clock tomorrow morning to log flight hours. If you can handle being at work by 0230, then that will get some night flying out of the way. I’ll bring coffee again and we can take turns in having a nap. If we’re lucky we might even pick up some agents who need a parachute drop and you can scare the shit out of them. We can take bets on how many will puke by the end of it.”

 

“That sounds like a lot of fun,” I said truthfully. “I’m guessing you don’t care if we aren’t cleared for that either?”

 

“Nope, don’t give a flying fuck,” Ian smirked. “Besides, it’ll be fun. You can fly circles around most of the Quinjet pilots. SHIELD has a jet similar to the F-35 in development that they’ll use off the Helicarrier. I’d love to be around to see you fly something like that when they finally become operational.”

 

“Right.” I tried to not let my confusion show one small thing. I couldn’t hold the question back any longer than a few seconds. “What the hell is a Helicarrier?”

 

Ian took one look at my confusion and burst out laughing.

 

“All right love, let's get back up to a cruising altitude and back off a little bit. Stick her on autopilot and we can go over all of SHIELD’s aircraft technology. You can finish your coffee too.”

 

I did as I was told and turned to Ian, feeling like an eager student all over again. Maybe today wasn’t going to be completely terrible. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 27th May 2018


	4. Chapter 4

I barely slept that night and I was wide awake as I bounced down the stairs of the hanger. It was surprisingly busy for so early in the morning. I'd been tagging along behind 2 fully armed STRIKE units. I only knew they were STRIKE by the patches on their shoulders. By the serious looks on their faces I didn't think they were going on a training mission. Below me, Quinjets were already started and a few were started to taxi out. At the bottom on the stairs I took a few moments to watch the scene in front of me.

It was still weird to think that this was going to be my life for at least the next year. That I'd be one of those pilots sitting in a Quinjet dropping a team off to whatever mission they were doing. I still didn't know a lot about what SHIELD actually did behind closed doors. What those fully armed STRIKE units were doing and where they were going was all still a mystery to me. Part of me was dying for real security clearance so I could really find out. But the other part of me really didn't want to know. What if the guy at the back with black hair I walked a few steps behind, was going somewhere that he wouldn't come home from? Would I be the one taking someone's body back home in a coffin? To have a pretty flag draped over it and hand to their family at the end of the day. Would his family take his body to be buried somewhere private or would it mark many of the other tombstones for SHIELD agents set aside in Arlington. I'd seen the wall for fallen agents in the lobby of the Triskelion. It wasn't small by any means. I hadn't been surprised at all when I had to provide an up to date copy of my will. What I was surprised at was how much SHIELD supported the families if an agent was killed in the line of duty. SHIELD not only covered all funeral expenses, but sent 60% of your wage back to your nominated person until you would have reached retirement age.

When I questioned Jared about it he had shrugged and told me I was the one who got his money if he died. I didn't have anything to say to him after that. I was blown away not only for what SHIELD did to provide for those left behind, but Jared's quiet declaration as well. I wouldn't have to worry about that until I became a fully fledged Agent in a few weeks. Jared had made my life easier to decide who mine was all going to. That's if he didn't kill me when he found out I took his car without asking this morning.

Ian was nowhere to be seen so I hung around at the bottom of the stairs just watching the world scurry on in front of me. It was insane the amount that was happening so early in the morning here. It made me wonder if it was always this busy. What could be going on in the world to need so many agents milling around?

"One vanilla latte for my star pupil," Ian's voice made me look up. He was sedately walking down the stairs balancing 2 cups of coffee on a clipboard. "And guess what? We did get that unit of STRIKE boys for a parachute drop. I bet you the coffee for tomorrow that one of them will puke in the first five minutes if you fly like you did yesterday."

"I bet you coffee for the next two weeks it'll be much quicker than five minutes," I laughed at Ian. He handed me my coffee with a huge grin on his face. For two people awake at such an ungodly hour, we both were awfully cheery. Then again, this was my first real taste of what my life was going to be like for the next year. It could be a lot of fun or a complete disaster.

"I will strap myself in hard and hope it's not me then." Ian motioned towards a Quinjet that was already powered up. There was a team already hanging around the open ramp looking bored.

"In flight school, we had to buy the instructor a bottle of whatever spirits he drank if we made him throw up." I walked with Ian towards the Quinjet. The memory of back being in flight school made me smile. "I was very broke for the last six months of training. One of my instructor's had a very weak stomach and an expensive taste in bourbon."

"Now that's something I'd wish I brought in here." Ian winked at me. "Damn a bit late now. Mine is expensive taste in whiskey. Oi, boys fucking move out of the way."

We had come to the ramp and Ian had raised his voice for the last sentence. Most of the guys waiting near the ramp jumped and quickly moved out of the way. There was the only one who didn't and I could have groaned in frustration when I saw his face. Fuck, Rumlow was here. This was going to be interesting. His raised eyebrows were the only indication of his surprise when he saw me walking with Ian.

"Please tell me this is a joke," Rumlow said in a teasing tone. I was taken back slightly by that. I was expected him to give me some attitude about this. Not to start teasing me.

"Nope," I smirked at Rumlow coming to stand in front of him. He was playing in my court now. This was going to be sweet payback for the number of chin-ups he made me do yesterday. "Hold onto your balls, if you have any Rumlow. Because this is going to be a wild ride."

"Why does that not surprise me?" Rumlow stood aside and swept his arm out. "Please don't kill us. I have a hot date tonight that I can't miss."

"Then make sure your parachute opens," I kept the smirk on my face as I walked up the ramp. A few of the STRIKE guys were shooting me curious looks. But no one else spoke to me. Ian sat back drinking his coffee in the co-pilot seat while I got us ready to get into the air. Behind me, the team were speaking quietly as they strapped themselves in. Rumlow was still standing and once everyone else was settled he spoke up.

"Right everyone, no one is happy about being here at fucked o'clock for a night parachute drop but here we are." Rumlow's little speech caused quiet laughter in the back. Even I smiled at that. Ian and I were probably the only ones excited for this. "So, let's get this done. If anyone freezes on the ramp I'll throw you off myself. That way we're all done for another year. Understood?"

There was everything from Yes Sir, to yeah whatever from everyone in the back. To my surprise, Rumlow came and sat in the chair not far behind the pilot seat.

"So you know how to fly one of these?" Rumlow asked kicking the back of my chair lightly.

"Act your age. Not your shoe size." I said, trying to scowl at him without laughing. "No, we're just letting me go with one of these and see how it turns out for everyone. So unless you know how to fly, shut up."

"Oh fuck no," Rumlow laughed at me. "I'm the leader of STRIKE Team Alpha, I don't need to learn to fly. People do as their told around me."

"You might need to learn to fly if I throw you off here for giving me sass." It was getting harder to keep my laughter contained. This was not what I was expecting when I'd seen Rumlow tonight. He was actually quite funny.

"I would like to see you try." Rumlow sat back crossing his arms smugly. "So are we going or what?"

"Oh, keep your fucking pants on tough guy," Ian scoffed before I could make another smart ass reply. "We're going. Kari, she's all yours."

I put my coffee in the cup holder provided. Another thing that had amused me greatly when I first noticed it. Ian was handling traffic control, SHIELD had its own dedicated tower which made everything very straightforward. There was only a minute wait before I could taxi out onto the ramp. As I powered the Quinjet I noticed Ian tighten his seatbelt and sit up a little straighter. I glanced at him and he held his hand up vertically. I fought to keep the grin off my face at his suggestion. I had forgotten about my comment about doing a vertical take off. I looked at the monitor down near my left leg which was the camera for the back of the jet. Everyone was seated and talking amongst themselves, not paying attention at all.

I took off carefully, making sure I had enough power to do the vertical take off. The jet rumbled underneath me as I couldn't stop myself smiling. This was going to fun. I eased the Quinjet up and then pushed the nose up vertically and gunned it as hard as I could in one smooth movement.

"Fuck." Rumlow cursed loudly.

I looked over my shoulder and gave him a smug look. He couldn't reply, he looked pale and was gripping the armrests so hard his knuckles were white. I faced the front again and did a simple barrel roll before levelling out and climbing to altitude. Looking down at the monitor, not many other agents were faring well. One of the guys lent forward and promptly threw up as we went level.

"Ah fuck," Ian swore, hearing the sound of retching. He looked at the back and scowled at the agent who'd been sick. "Thanks, asshole, now I owe her coffee for the next two weeks. I'm taking that out of your pay."

"That wasn't funny," Rumlow growled at me. I looked back at him again and this time I couldn't stop myself laughing.

"Oh come on Rumlow, it wasn't that bad. Don't be such a pussy."

"I'm going to get you back so bad in PT this morning." Rumlow glared in mock annoyance. He was having a hard time keeping a smile off his face. So was I. "Just you wait. I'll make you fall off that chin up bar because your arms will be so sore."

"Yeah whatever," I laughed at his threat and turned back to concentrating on flying. The parachute drop zone wasn't far, it was just a case of getting to 12,500ft and then opening the back. According to my flight plan, I'd then circle back to the drop zone. Land and pick up the team and back to the Triskelion. All up it'd only take about an hour, depending on how quickly I could get into the hanger of the Triskelion.

"I take that as challenge accepted," Rumlow smart tone made me quirk an eyebrow in surprise.

"Always challenge accepted Rumlow." I turned so I could see him again. "You won't ever see me backing down."

"Yeah?"

"Bring it on bitch." I was mentally kicking myself for the cocky streak coming out. This was going to get me into so much trouble.

"Yeah, well how about you come and jump out of the jet with us?" Rumlow challenged. "Let's see if that wipes that cocky smirk off your face. You can jump with me."

"Please," I snorted in disbelief. Of all the things he could challenge me with, it had to be doing a parachute jump. "I already have parachute qualifications. Skydiving doesn't scare me."

"Come on then," Rumlow challenged again. "If you jump, I'll be nice to you at PT."

Ian was watching our exchange with interest. He'd put his feet up to the side of the control panel, drinking his coffee. I looked at him for permission. Despite my cocky words, Ian could very easily say no and tell me to keep my ass where it belongs.

"If you want to jump out of a perfectly good plane that's your problem," Ian looked as if he didn't have a care in the world right now. If anything, he was enjoying the exchange between me and Rumlow. "I'm happy to swing around and do pick up."

"Done," I said quickly unbuckling my harness. We were approaching altitude already and I'd need to get myself strapped into a parachute. Of all the things Rumlow could throw at me, it had to be this. I loved skydiving, I'd already done solo drops before I joined the Air Force. It was another one of those things that was an ultimate adrenaline rush. If nothing else, this would make me happy before another day of torture when I went back to the real world at SHIELD.

"Seriously, done?" Rumlow looked at me in surprise as he unbuckled himself. "You're serious about this?"

"Yeah, why?" I grabbed a parachute and started to strap myself in. I wasn't the only one. As soon as Rumlow was out of his seat, the rest of his team were out of theirs. I didn't miss the dirty look that got thrown my way from the guy who threw up. I grinned at the snarky glare I was getting, too pumped to care about what he thought about me at this stage.

"Because most sane people don't like jumping out of a perfectly good plane." Rumlow shook his head, but he still looked amused. "Especially on a dare."

"Hey I'm sane, my last psych assessment told me so," I laughed pulling up the straps over my shoulders. "It also told me that I'm the most perfect person in the world."

"All I'm hearing is Jared's words coming out of your mouth" Rumlow shot back at me, a pained expression crossing his face as he watched me buckle in. He was right, those really were Jared's words spewing from my mouth. "And SHIELD does not need another Jared running around. Regardless if your his twin."

"Yeah but I'm the awesome twin," I smirked in response. Lack of sleep was sending my ego out of control. At least that's what I'd blame it on. "The youngest is always the best."

"And usually has the superiority complex as well."

"It's not a complex when I am the superior one."

Rumlow didn't have an answer to that. He laughed and shook his head. A few of the other agents were laughing quietly at our exchange. Once I had my parachute on correctly, Rumlow handed me a pair of ordinary looking goggles. I took them, fiddling with the strap to get the size right while Rumlow spoke again.

"Dropzone is pretty much directly down, it's marked by fluorescent markers. You'll know it when you see it."

"Awesome." I pulled the goggles on and adjusted them over my face. I blinked a few times not believing what I saw seeing. The goggles brought up a display right in my face. It was giving me altitude, airspeed and coordinates in small writing in the corner so it didn't obscure my vision.

"Nice." I grinned fiddling with the goggles one last time. "These are cool toys."

"And night vision too," Rumlow added. He was pulling his own goggles on. "They'll activate as soon as you hit darkness and automatically adjust to the brightness. No more getting blinded by flares or anything like that. So you jumping first?"

"Of course." I didn't hesitate. I walked to the back of the Quinjet and hit the button to make the ramp lower. The freezing night air rushed in as I stood on the edge looking into the blackness. My heart started to pound with excitement. This bit was always the most fun. I turned to Rumlow and gave him a smart salute before dropped off the edge of the ramp. I didn't miss the brief look of horror on Rumlow's face as I dropped off the ramp and started to plummet through the sky.

The air rushed around me as I squeezed my eyes shut tightly for the first second. Adrenaline kicked in and I rolled over so I was going down stomach first. I could feel myself laughing but I couldn't hear it over the sound of the wind rushing around me. Jumping at nighttime was a whole new experience. There was a bit of cloud cover tonight so it was just me and the green glow of the night vision kicking in all around me. I put my arms out, pushing against the wind enjoying my brief sense of freedom and weightlessness. I was disappointed glancing at my altitude, it was time to pull my chute already. That 45 seconds of free falling never seemed to last. It always got swept away and only felt like a second or two had passed. Reaching around I pulled the cord on my chute and braced myself for the inevitable jerk of the parachute opening.

The familiar jerk and yank upwards hit me hard. I grinned and held onto the toggles as I sailed back down to the earth. It'd take at least two minutes before I hit the ground again. The clouds had come away and right underneath me was a tiny SHIELD symbol in the field. It was only illuminated with the night vision, not subtle at all. No wonder Rumlow had said I'd know it as soon as I saw it. For something that was meant to be a fairly secret organisation SHIELD sure did like to put its logo on nearly everything.

I closed my eyes, inhaling the cold air around me. If I could stay up in the air forever I would. Up here all my worries got left behind. I was so grateful for having Ian around these last few days. His carefree attitude had really helped me when I needed it the most. Not too many instructors would just let you get up and decide to go skydiving when you were meant to be flying. Or let me pull some of the moves I did with the Quinjet. I just hoped whoever I got assigned to had half of his sense of humour.

The ground came up far too quickly for my liking. I sighed in disappointment as I came into land, deciding just to skid along instead of trying to stick a proper landing. I put my legs out and skidded across the grass on my ass, coming to a stop in a few feet. I quickly pulled my parachute back in, knowing that there'd be someone else right behind me. I was right, Rumlow was right on my tail. He must have jumped nearly straight after me. He touched down on the ground feet first, and nearly promptly fell flat on his face. Only a sense of coordination kept him on his feet.

"Oops," Rumlow laughed at himself as he quickly pulled his own parachute back in. "Nearly lost it. Good thing most of the team are still up there fucking around about actually jumping. I'd be the laughing stock otherwise."

"So why aren't you up there pushing them out like you threatened?" I laughed with him. The adrenaline was still pumping and I felt breathless. "I would be."

"Because this crazy ass recruit just decided to jump and I realised I had no idea if you were being serious or not that you knew how to do this," Rumlow shot at me. I could see him rolling his eyes behind the goggles thanks to the excellent night vision. "Thought I better make sure that you didn't end up splattered on the ground."

"Yeah because I'm dumb enough to jump out of a plane with no training." I rolled my eyes at Rumlow. "I might be blonde but I'm not that stupid."

"Well, I didn't know if you teleported like Jared does, or something like that," Rumlow argued back, sounding exasperated. "And I didn't want to find out the hard way if you got into trouble. Then halfway down I realised you were a fighter pilot and it was really dumb of me to jump out after you."

"I can't teleport," I scoffed at Rumlow. Most people assumed I could teleport because of Jared. "I can turn invisible though, so lock your shower door."

"Why does that not surprise me in the least." Rumlow shrugged with a grin playing on his face. "Though if you want to see me naked, you just have to ask."

"I'm sure your hot date would object," I laughed at Rumlow. "Like strongly. And I'm not that desperate either."

"Ouch, burn," Rumlow made a sizzling sound and grab his arm like I had just burnt him. I laughed even harder at his childishness. Maybe Rumlow was an okay guy, his gruffness during PT was looking more and more like an act now. His real personality was shining through being with his team.

"So you got a boyfriend then?" Rumlow asked after I'd stopped laughing.

"Nope." I shook my head as I started to repack my parachute. "Why would you ask that?"

"No reason." Rumlow tone made me suspicious. I glanced over at him, trying to figure out where this was going. "Just digging around for someone. He'll be pretty happy about that bit of news."

"Well, tell whoever it is to grow some balls and ask himself, I won't bite too hard and he might enjoy it." I brushed off Rumlow's meddling. I wasn't surprised that was coming up already. I didn't do this whole tap dancing around with a guy if he was interested. If he wanted something then ask. If not, leave me alone. Saves a lot of heartache along the way. I didn't have the confidence to go chasing either. "Don't meddle otherwise."

"I did try and ask Jared but he threatened to teleport me into the middle of a black hole if I meddled," Rumlow said, making me laugh again. I didn't doubt Jared would give him a very short and nasty answer if Rumlow really did ask him. "Can't say I wanted to find out if he was being serious or not."

"You know he can't do that, don't you?" I shook my head at Jared's antics. He always came up with the best laid out threats. Even if they weren't true and there was no way he could pull them off.

"I dunno," Rumlow mused, looking mildly serious for once. "You can live in space for about 90 seconds without any oxygen supply. Apparently, that's enough for him to teleport you there and him to get back without too much of a hassle."

"Yeah space, not a black hole." I pointed out the flaw with simple physics. "A black hole will kill you instantly. Duh."

"Not all of us are smart like you," Rumlow sighed dramatically. "You know we're just the dumb brawn here."

"So I've heard." I had to stop myself from laughing. I wiped my hand over my mouth to try and stop the grin forming. "Do you need to take your boots off so you can count to 20?"

"No, I can count with my boots on, any higher than 20 and I have problems."

The smart reply I had died on my lips as one of his team came into land. I went to stand away from the group and Rumlow grabbed my arm lightly before I could disappear too far.

"Where are you disappearing to?"

"Leaving all you boys to give yourselves manly ass slaps and all that," I joked to cover my discomfort of being with a group of guys I didn't know at all. Even though Rumlow was being friendly I wasn't sure if I was ready to be thrown in with an entire team.

"Yeah we're not USAF, we don't do manly ass slapping," Rumlow joked and gave my arm a small tug. "Come on I'll introduce you to everyone. Be good for you to get to start knowing people before you get assigned to a team. I promise we're all nice and well behaved. Well, most of the time."

I couldn't argue with that logic at all. I let myself get pulled over to the group where Rumlow loudly announced.

"So this crazy ass fucker is Kari. We all know her asshole of a twin brother Jared. Gentlemen, you have been warned."

Rumlow was right. His team were nice guys, even though I had pretty much forgotten most of their names by the time Ian had landed to pick us up. It was nice being included in the conversation for once and not just drifting on the edges feeling awkward or forgotten about. Most to of them were curious about me and had no problems asking questions. I had to admit, I really didn't mind the attention either. Getting back onto the Quinjet I took over the controls from Ian. He shook his head at my crazy antics but didn't say anything to discourage me from doing it again. By the time we'd made it back to the Triskelion, I was dead tired. I didn't know how I was going to make it through the rest of the day. According to my schedule, today after hand to hand I was meant to be with Ian all day.

"So my schedule says I'm meant to be with you all day," I said to Ian as I piloted the Quinjet back to the hanger. "Are we flying again today?"

"Fuck no." Ian shook his head rapidly. "Once we land I'm heading back home and going back to bed. We can count this towards your hours today. So you're free if there's nothing else planned for you."

"Sounds amazing," I said truthfully. I might be able to get some more of my room sorted out with most of the day free. I had still barely unpacked anything besides the bare essentials. I also planned on using all the hot water and indulge in that bubble bath I kept promising myself. I had a small obsession with buying organic bath bombs and I'd ordered a few just before I left Langley. There was a citrus crush one that was just screaming my name ever since I had smelt it. But I had to get through PT and another gruelling hand to hand session just yet. I put the Quinjet back in its parking spot and drained the last of my now cold coffee before getting up. I looked at my watch and it was 0413, I had ages to go until I had to be at PT. It was pointless having a shower beforehand. I was just going to get sweaty all over again.

"We are all heading out and grabbing breakfast before I have to take PT," Rumlow said as I walked past him. I stopped in my tracks, Ian walked past me with a small wave goodbye. "Coming? And if you are, need a ride?"

"Sure, I'm starving." I had no reason to turn it down. It was really nice of Rumlow to ask. It was the answer to not only my problem of needing to waste some time. But also to shut my stomach up with it's complaining. The Triskelion had a cafeteria somewhere in these walls. But I had no idea where it was or what time it operated. Another thing I was going to have to ask Jared about.

"Cool, let's go." Rumlow fell into step beside m. "I'm driving because after your flying I don't think I can trust you with my car."

I laughed at him. It was true. I didn't blame him at all for thinking that.

Breakfast was at a cafe just after the main road into the Triskelion. They opened at 4am every morning to cater for the early workers like us. I dare say they did a fairly big trade as the cafe was fairly huge. It looked like it could easily seat 100 people. The cashier didn't even look perturbed by having 15 guys and me in there so early in the morning. Nor did they complain about how loud it got when we sat down and all had coffee into us. I was getting grilled with questions about my time as a Raptor pilot from everyone. I'd finally given up trying to explain things and just pulled out my phone, showing off the videos I had taken of me at Air Shows when I was doing demos.

"That is so fucking cool." The guy who I had made throw up handed my phone back to me. I think his name was Gibson or something along those lines. "No wonder you can handle a Quinjet like that."

"Yeah just a wee bit easier than an F-22," I said with a small grin. This was fun. I was actually speaking in a group situation and not being ignored. Or just on the edge of the conversation barely contributing. "So do I get to see videos of you guys doing cool stuff?"

"I have one of me blowing up a fish tank full of ballistics gel with a rocket launcher," Rumlow laughed and motioned for one of the guy's phones. "It was fun."

I laughed with Rumlow, taking the phone from him to watch the video. Maybe, just maybe life wasn't going to be so bad after all here at SHIELD.

By the time I'd finished breakfast I was more than ready for bed. There was no way I wanted to head back and do another two hours of work. I'd eaten myself into a happy little food coma and couldn't wait to go to bed. It was only Rumlow and me in his very nice newish Ford Mustang, with a surprisingly easy conversation. I found out his date tonight was with one of the girls who worked in Data Entry. She'd been doing PT regularly with him for a few months and it wasn't until now he'd actually asked her out.

"You should talk to Riley more," Rumlow said suddenly changing the topic completely. I looked over at him with a surprised look. I was not expecting something like that to come out of his mouth.

"Why?" I asked carefully.

"Because he's shy and it'll do him the world of good," Rumlow elaborated. "He was Navy before he joined SHIELD, so you guys kind of have something in common."

"It sounds like you're trying to set me up with him," I chuckled. Why did I get the funny feeling the question of me being single from earlier was part of this conversation. "How well do you know him?"

"Well enough," Rumlow said simply. "He was STRIKE Team Alpha originally but got transferred to Bravo because they needed another marksman. And I'm not trying to set you up. I've just seen you jogging with him and you both look bored as hell. So talk to him."

"Fine." There was no argument from me. Making some friends would be good for me. As long as Rumlow wasn't meddling in my complete lack of love life I'd happily talk to Riley. Not that I needed much encouragement to really talk to him. I just never knew where to start the conversation. "What was he in the Navy?"

"Now that's just telling." Rumlow glanced over at me with an infuriating small smirk on his face. "So you'll have to ask him. Go get changed, meet you there soon."

We had pulled up in the garage. I tried not to groan in protest at having to move again. It took a lot of effort to drag myself out of the car and walk to the locker room to get changed out of my flight suit. The coffee at breakfast hadn't helped me in the slightest to wake up. I couldn't stop yawning by the time I walked out onto the track changed into my workout clothes. I was early, Rumlow hadn't made it there yet and there were only a few scattered people hanging around near the running track. No one was paying any attention to me, so I lay down on the artificial grass, throwing my arm over my face. I could have a tiny nap here and no one would be none the wiser. Five minutes might be enough to perk me up to keep going.

"Should I kick you if you start snoring?" Riley's voice interrupted me before I could even doze off for a few seconds.

"Only if its loud or we have to move," I chuckled quietly removing my arm from my eyes to look up at him. I squinted in the morning sun. I couldn't help but smile at the sight of Riley here talking to me. "I'm dying, I did a night flight and I haven't been to bed yet. I was too excited to sleep."

Riley chuckled and dropped down to the ground next to me, sit cross-legged. I pulled myself back up into a sitting position, smothering yet another yawn.

"How did it go?" Riley asked looking over at me. He was cleanly shaven again and looked like he'd had a haircut. His hair wasn't as long or messy this morning. He was sitting close enough for me to notice, unlike me, he smelt really nice as well. Whatever cologne he was wearing wasn't overpowering, I could only just smell it. But it was divine. I'd caught a whiff of it yesterday but today it smelt even better. I had to stop myself leaning over and sniffing him up close. That would probably freak him out completely.

"I only made one person throw up which was disappointing," I laughed at the memory. "Rumlow's team came with us and did a night parachute drop. I decided it'd be fun as well, so I jumped first."

Riley stared at me for a moment looking like he wasn't sure how to reply to that. I'm not sure if I freaked him out completely by my casual statement. Most normal people probably would be with what I just said.

"Has anyone told you that you're really cool?" Riley finally said with a lopsided grin. He looked completely and utterly adorable with that grin. "Like seriously cool. Next thing you'll be telling me you know how to shoot and you drink beer."

"And pizza, you have to have pizza with beer. Heineken or Coronas," I added with my own grin. "Yeah have to admit, I'm not a flower and chocolate girl. It's more come over naked with pizza and beer type girl. I know how to shoot well enough not to embarrass myself."

"Your boyfriend is a lucky man," Riley said with a small laugh. "Have you been able to hit the range yet?"

"I don't have a boyfriend," I said instantly. I don't know why I had to blurt that out so quickly. I quickly covered my blunder. "Chronically single here. Most guys found what I did for a job really intimidating. And no, hopefully, they'll give some range time sometime soon."

"Chronically single," Riley laughed again. "I like that, suits me as well. Well, at least you'll fit in here with Operations. I think we have the highest rate of single people in any workplace in the world."

So Riley didn't have a girlfriend. That was an interesting little piece of information to know. Despite Rumlow's assurance that he wasn't meddling, I wasn't so sure now. I'm pretty sure I was being set up. Any trace of annoyance at Rumlow was gone as Riley smiled at me.

"So I heard you were Navy before you joined SHIELD," I steered the conversation away from both our love lives before it got awkward. "What did you do?"

"Fucking Rumlow and his big mouth," Riley muttered under his breath so quietly I nearly didn't catch what he said. He cleared his throat and spoke up again. "I was a SEAL, spent six years in the Navy and then SHIELD decided I was good enough to show up on their radar. Made me an offer I couldn't refuse, and well here I am."

"How so?" I was curious now. I only thought it was very special cases SHIELD recruited outside of its own.

"I'm a good shot," Riley said but didn't elaborate on it any further. "Plus the money is heaps better in SHIELD."

"After seeing all the nice cars Rumlow's team were driving this morning I don't doubt that in the slightest," I said, fighting back an envious sigh. My old car was a piece of shit that broke down every other month. "I can't wait to get my own pay, my car didn't come with me and there is no way I'm begging Jared to keep driving his."

"Like Jared drives anywhere," Riley snorted. "I didn't even know he had a license until I saw him pull up in the garage the other day. What kind of car are you getting?"

"Kawasaki Ninja motorbike," I let myself grin a bit. "Brand new, I've been eyeing it off for months but I never went through with actually buying it. I had a motorbike before I joined the Air Force and then decided a car was a bit more practical, much to my Mom's relief. Now I don't care about practical and just want a fast bike."

"And in red, so it goes faster?" Riley joked making me laugh.

"Blue, my favourite colour," I corrected through my laughter. "Red is Jared's thing. It's bad enough we're twins sometimes, we don't have to act the exact same."

"And the world thanks you for that as well," Riley's serious tone only lasted for a second before he laughed as well. "Your brother is crazy. He's always in trouble for the stunts he pulls. He's nearly as bad as Hawkeye and Romanoff. Probably why they all get on so well."

There's those names again that have popped up. I wondered if I would ever meet the two infamous top Agents of SHIELD.

"Everyone up, lets go," Rumlow's voice called out from across the field. Riley and I both looked over at the sound of his voice. I'd been too engrossed in the conversation I hadn't even seen him arrive. Or paid attention to the growing amount of people milling around. Riley jumped to his feet and offered me his hand. I took it and let him pull me off the ground. It was a massive effort to even get my body moving again. I shuffled along for the first few paces before my body warmed up enough to actually make my legs function like a normal human again.

"So what do you have planned for the rest of the day?" Riley asked as we settled into and say rhythm of jogging.

"Sleep," I said with a wry grin. "After my hand to hand class, which is going to suck again. Rollins doesn't like me at all."

Was it my imagination or was there a brief flicker of disappointment on Riley's face? It was gone too quickly for me to really get a good look at it. I didn't have time to dwell on it.

"Rollins doesn't like anyone." Riley pointed out, giving me a sympathetic look. "He's an asshole and the only reason he got lumped with that class is that he disobeyed a direct order on his last mission. Caused a big problem too."

"Seems to be the growing theme around here, from what Jared told me he did the same thing in Helsinki which is why he's stuck here at the moment."

Riley's statement gave me a bit of confidence back. Maybe I wasn't completely terrible and Rollins just thought it was easier to take it out on me that he didn't want to be there.

"And Rollins doesn't like Jared either," Riley explained with a visible wince. "Jared kind of slept with his girlfriend last year. When Rollins found out, well it was a bit messy. Let's just say Jared was fucking lucky he had Barton and Romanoff with him and he can teleport to get his ass out of trouble."

"Why am I not surprised?" I groaned in disgust. Jared had a reputation for being a ladies man. I shouldn't have been surprised something like this happened. "Great, not only am I dealing with a fucking annoyed instructor. My slut of a brother just happened to steal his girlfriend too. I'm going to die."

"I find it hard to believe you can't hold your own," Riley looked at me in surprise with an encouraging smile. "I imagine you could kick ass if you needed to."

"That's the problem, I've never needed to," I tried not to be huffy in my frustration. "I mean, I'm skinny and I have no power behind me. And according to Rollins I can't even get a basic fighting stance down right let alone swing a good punch."

Riley didn't get a chance to reply. Jared teleported right next to me shoving Riley out of the way. He grabbed my arm being completely oblivious to the fact he'd nearly caused a pile up of joggers as we both screeched to a halt. Plenty of nasty looks and swearing were thrown our way as people had to do some fancy footwork to avoid us.

"Kari, if you ever touch my car again I'll break your legs," Jared snapped at me. He looked like he was barely awake and if wasn't for his workout clothes I'd swear he had just gotten out of bed. "Seriously, if you need a lift, ask. Don't touch my stuff."

I was five years old again and Jared was pitching a fit over me touching what he deemed to be his. I yanked my arm out of Jared's grip and gave him a hard shove. He wasn't expecting it and flailed backwards slightly. Being the mean sister I am, I stuck my foot out and he tripped over it, promptly sending his ass crashing to the ground. In front of everyone. The world seemed to come to a screeching halt as all the people on the track stopped to gawk at the scene. By the looks everyone was giving me, I'm guessing it wasn't something they were used to seeing.

"Just remember, I know what your afraid of," I snapped at Jared in Russian so no one else would understand our argument. "Be nice."

"You're so on," Jared replied back in Russian. The pissed off look fell from his face as he looked up at me with an irritating smirk. "Keep watching over our shoulder little sister. Bring my car back in one piece or else."

With that threat lingering between us, he teleported away again. I glared at the empty spare before quickly jogging back to the group that had started to move away without me. I caught back up to Riley who looked at me with a small smirk of his own.

"My Russian teacher would have been very proud of your accent," Riley said to me in perfect Russian. "Probably not the best language to speak around here. Most of us now know it thanks to Romanoff."

I looked at him in surprise before laughing. Even with Jared's threat, I hadn't felt this lighthearted in a while.

"Right, remind me next time to choose another language to yell at him with. Something nice and obscure like Icelandic."

"Or Latin," Riley suggested, laughing with me. "Nobody speaks Latin. Then again why Icelandic? Obscure doesn't quite begin to cover that."

"Because its long, complicated and sounds awesome when you swear in it," I explained with a smile. "I can teach you a few phrases if you'd like?"

"I don't know if my brain can handle another language," Riley admitted with a laugh. "My brain is bad enough for mixing English and Russian together on a bad day."

"I feel that," I grinned. I was disappointed suddenly realising our jog was finished. As usual, I went to the chin-up bars first. Riley didn't even need to ask. He just threw me up like I weighed nothing. No matter what happened next with Rollins, today had been a good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited May 27th 2018


	5. Chapter 5

“Again,” Rollins snapped at me. “You aren’t trying Lyngley.”

 

I didn’t say anything back. There was no point if I argued I only made things worse for myself. A week down the track I’d made no progress at all according to Rollins. Even with a few suggestions from Jared and Riley, which I had tried and got shut down for. Then told in no uncertain terms I was not to use anything that Rollins hadn’t taught in the class. I was beginning to really hate my hand to hand class. The only saving grace every morning was my PT sessions jogging with Riley. I quickly wiped my sweaty face on my shirt and tried again.

 

It was a heel palm strike to this chest that was being taught. I knew this move already. It was the quickest way to drop somebody. But Rollins wouldn’t even let me get close enough to land one. He told me that I needed to get through his defences first before I could even touch him. 

 

I took a few steps back and tried my attack again. This time Rollins grabbed my arm and wrenched it behind my back so hard I felt like my shoulder was going to rip out of the socket. I gritted my teeth against the pain. He didn’t let go, instead, he pulled my shoulder harder and called out to the rest of the class.

 

“And this is an example of why you need to be quicker, Recruit Lyngley here is about to getting a dislocated shoulder for her sloppy work.”

 

Stars danced around my vision as Rollins tightened his grip even harder. If he didn’t dislocate my shoulder, he was definitely going to leave more bruises. I struggled in his grip which only made it worse. Something inside of me snapped. Whether it was from years of roughhousing with Jared or me temper finally fraying, my body reacted.I brought my foot down onto Rollins toes. Hard. The grunt of pain and the loosening of the grip on my arm was enough to let me drive my elbow back into his throat. Rollins staggered back from me and I turned to face him again. He looked furious. I swallowed back my fear as he charged at me again. I didn’t block the punch to the face he sent at me. But I did get my timing right and managed to send a direct kick to his groin a second afterwards. 

 

“Fuck you,” I spat at him, turning on my heel and storming out of the gym. It wasn’t until the doors slammed shut I let myself reach up and touch my aching face. Blood dripped onto the floor from my nose. I could feel my left eye started to swell already. Adrenaline was a wonderful thing, I didn’t feel too much pain but later on, it was going to be horrid. I iced my hand and put it over my nose and face and marched straight for the locker room. Ignoring the bleeding everywhere that I was doing. I nearly made it to the locker room before a strong arm stopped my angry march. I glared up at the offending person. It was Rumlow and standing with him was Riley. Great, about the last two people I wanted to see right now.

 

“What the fuck happened to you?” Rumlow frowned at me. “Show me your face.”

 

I gingerly pulled my hand away from my face and let Rumlow take my chin in his hand and tip my face slightly. I didn’t miss the grimace from him, nor the angry look crossing over Riley’s face.

 

“Aren’t you meant to be with Rollins doing that stupid hand to hand class?” Riley asked me. He crossed his arms, a frown marring his handsome face as he took in the scene in front of him.

 

I nodded silently, not trusting myself to speak. I was either going to be really angry. Or I was going to break down into tears. Neither one of those things would help me right now.

 

“So what happened?” Rumlow asked again, dropping his hand from my face.

 

“He had me in an arm lock, felt like he was about to rip my shoulder from the socket.” I grimaced at the memory, rubbing my forgotten aching arm. “He’s been telling me the entire time I need to be faster, I’m not doing anything right. So I got him off guard and he didn’t like it. He punched me in the face so I kicked him in the balls and stormed out.”

 

“Right.” Rumlow’s lips quirked up in a small smile. “Besides your face and arm, are you okay?”

 

I shrugged, not trusting my emotions right now. I was angry and frustrated. I didn’t think anything was broken, just bruised. My nose had stopped bleeding, it was just my eye swelling shut that was going to be a small problem. I needed both eyes to fly. Ian was not going to be happy at all if I wasn’t going to be able to do our flight to Alaska today. Somehow my flight had ended up being lumped with a supply drop to one of the Alaska bases. 

 

“He can’t do that Rumlow.” Riley pointed out sounding angry. “Just because he hates Jared doesn’t give him the right to smack the shit out of Kari.”

 

“I’d forgotten about that,” Rumlow pursed his lips in thought, looking at me carefully. “You know even though we’re SHIELD, we do have rules about this kind of thing. That class is meant to teach you stuff. Not just beat the shit out of each other and hope for the best. That’s Romanoff’s style and heavily frowned upon.”

 

“Well, what am I supposed to do?” I said feeling huffy. “If I go crying to someone about it, it’ll only make it worse. If I don’t say anything, I’ll probably get another ass kicking tomorrow for storming out.”

 

“Let Jared see it and he and Rollins can punch it out again,” Rumlow said jokingly. “That was fun last time. Or even better yet, go tell Romanoff. She’ll deal with it.”

 

I shot Rumlow a weary look. Jared was in enough trouble already. He didn’t need to come riding to my rescue. Even if it was partly his fault why Rollins didn’t like me. I could deal with my own problems. I didn’t even know Romanoff so I certainly wasn’t going to let Rumlow go and ask her for help.

 

“Let Barton know as well. You heard what he said in the shower the other day.” Riley looked ready to march off and go and find the suggested people.

 

“What was said in the shower the other day?” My aching face was forgotten for a moment as I looked between Rumlow and Riley. I knew there’d be gossip, that was a given. I was curious what was actually said. 

 

“Then Coulson will kill us for letting those two loose,” Rumlow said with a shake of his head. “Nothing was said Kari, nothing of importance anyway. Don’t worry about it.”

 

Why did I get the feeling Jared had words to people about watching out for me. He was my overprotective big brother. Most of the time it annoyed me. Right now, I kind of wanted to see two infamous assassins unleashed onto Rollins.

 

“Let Ian see it,” Riley suggested, turning to me. It was a kind of sweet how angry he was on my behalf. “I don’t know the guy that well, but I’m pretty sure he’ll shit his lucky charms seeing your face. Nothing is more terrifying than a senior agent who doesn’t have anything to lose anymore.”

 

“You’ll lose your head if you don’t move,” Ian’s voice came from behind Rumlow and Riley. Both instantly moved aside. 

 

I sighed and cursed my bad luck and Ian’s timing. I must have been running late enough that Ian came looking for me. I was hoping to delay that by at least a few more minutes. Enough time to wash my face off at least. Whatever else Ian was about to say died on his lips when he saw me standing there. I must have been an interesting sight to make Ian not be able to say anything for more than a few seconds.

 

“Right.” Ian tightened his jaw and grabbed me by the arm. “This ends right now. He can’t do this. Hill can deal with his bullshit attitude.”

 

I didn’t get a chance to protest as Ian tugged me along forcibly behind him. His grip only loosened when he was sure I was still following. The entire time he was ranting how about how idiots like Rollins gave STRIKE a bad name. I was silent as I trudged behind him. My face was starting to ache and I could feel a nasty headache start to pound behind my eyes. Today had hit a new level of shitty.

 

By the time we’d navigated to the other side of the Triskelion, and 22 floors up. We arrived in front of Hill’s office. Ian didn’t knock, he pushed the door open and walked in. Hill was on the phone and she looked up, shooting Ian a very annoyed look. It quickly melted away as she saw me standing behind him. 

 

“I’ll call you back.” Hill frowned, hanging up her phone call. “What’s this about?”

 

“Agent Rollins,” Ian said before I could speak. “He’s taking the hand to hand combat course at the moment. Maria, I can’t teach fucking teach Kari when she’s getting the shit beaten out of her on a daily basis. It’s distracting both physically and mentally, especially for someone who has to cram so much into a short time.”

 

“Kari?” Hill turned to look at me. “Care to explain what’s going on in your class?”

 

“Besides me sucking?” I shrugged looking at the wall behind Hill and not at her. “Or the fact Agent Rollins said on the first day he doesn’t like special cases.”

 

“Exact words please.” Hill looked none too pleased at my last sentence. “Ian, can you wait outside?”

 

“Yeah, call me when you need me,” Ian said. “I’m off to palm our supply drop off the someone else.”

 

With that, he left the room. I felt awkward standing there with Hill watching me carefully.

 

“Sit,” Hill said motioning towards the chair. This felt like the day I’d been told I was joining SHIELD. I complied instantly, sitting down knotting my hands in my lap. She looked at me before picking up her phone again.

 

“Get me Agent Rollins up here now,” Hill said and hung up before anyone would be able to respond on the phone. “All right Kari, what happened? I need exact words and no bullshit.”

 

I sighed. There was no way around this. I may as well tell the truth and deal with the consequences later. At least Hill was being a little bit sympathetic. It was different than my first time meeting her.

 

“First day Agent Rollins told me he doesn’t like special cases. Especially ones he has to pass regardless of what happens. I believe his words were just because I was a mutant and the sister of Fury’s favourite pet spy, doesn’t give me special privileges.”

 

“Right,” Hill looked angry as she tapped a pen against the table. She took in a deep breath like she was calming herself. “And what happened this morning?”

 

“Agent Rollins was teaching a palm strike. There’s an odd number of people in the class so I’ve been paired off with him. The rest of the class was told to practice it and I actually had to get past Rollins blocking me before I could pull the move off.” I tightened my jaw in anger remembering what happened. I quickly stopped as it made my entire face ache. “He blocked me, grabbed me by the arm and twisted it around hard before telling the class I was about to get a dislocated shoulder for being sloppy. I got angry, stomped on his foot and drove my elbow into his throat to get him off me. He staggered backwards, came and threw a punch at my face which I didn’t dodge. But I also kicked him in the balls just as he punched me in the face.”

 

“Thank you,” Hill said with a hint of a smile on her face. She cleared her throat, the smile gone as quickly as it came. “So, how did he react to you kicking him in the balls?”

 

“I don’t know.” I cringed inwardly. “I kind of stormed out of the class and ran into Rumlow and Riley. While I was talking to them Ian found me as well. Ian brought me straight up to talk to you and well, here we are.”

 

“Yes, we are,” Hill said with a small sigh. “This is off record completely, and I’m not speaking as Agent Hill right now. I do know your brother quite well and why this is going on. But do you know the reason why Rollins has been an asshole to you?”

 

“I heard Jared slept with his girlfriend last year,” I said in a small voice. At least if Hill was aware of the situation. “Jared nearly got the shit beaten out of him for it too.”

 

“Rollins didn’t come off too well from it either, let me assure you there,” Hill said, clearing her throat. “Sorry Kari, I put you with him and thought he’d be professional enough to not be a dickwad about it. You do need to do that class, so, unfortunately, there’s not a lot I can do beyond giving him a reprimand about his behaviour.”

 

“I didn’t expect anything to be honest,” I said with a small shrug. Hill calling Rollins a dickwad did make me feel a little better. “It's not the first time a guy has given me issues. I am terrible in this class, so I understand some of the frustration.”

 

“Terrible or not, he has no right to single you out.” Hill frowned looking unhappy at my response. “SHIELD is strict on how agents interact with each other. We have to work with all types of people and prejudice can’t come into it. Whether there be reason or history behind it. He still needs to act on a professional level. The fact you’re Enhanced should have never been brought in it. His call on whether you passed or not in that class means very little in the grand scheme of things for you. Whoever your team is will take over any training. It’s just his job to make sure if you get into a situation on your first day with no back up is that you don’t die and you know how to punch someone hard enough to not break your own hands.”

 

“Awesome.” I couldn’t keep the sarcasm out of my voice. The hit to the face must have rattled my brain to be giving my superior the amount of sass I threw into that one word. “Guess that wouldn’t be the end of the world if I get killed on my first mission. It saves SHIELD a lot of hassle."  


 

Hill’s stern look was enough to make me want to crawl away. I could have smacked myself in the head for my own stupidity and sass.

 

“No SHIELD would lose a valuable asset if that happened,” Hill said calmly. “Regardless of how you feel about this situation Kari, you were offered this because Fury believed you could make a difference. This wasn’t to fuck up your life or anything else like that. It’s a year and then if you hate it that much you can walk away and have your life back. From what I’m hearing from Ian’s reports you’re doing pretty exceptional with your flying.”

 

“It’s not hard,” I didn’t have a lot else to say back to Hill after her small spiel. It was a little surreal that people actually believed in me with this job. “Its kind of fun sitting in something with technology I thought only existed in Star Trek.”

 

“Good,” Hill looked at me again with an unreadable expression on her face. “I will email you through the details of what you’ll be covering for the next few weeks. You can get your face checked out at Medical and then head home for today.”

 

“I was meant to fly to Alaska with Ian,” I started lamely but shut my mouth quickly with the hard look Hill sent me.

 

“Medical, then home. Dismissed.”

 

I didn’t argue. I didn’t even say anything. I stood up and left the room before Hill could change her mind. Ian was waiting for me just outside the door. Across the hallway was a very angry looking Agent Rollins leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. I couldn’t stop the smirk popping onto my face seeing the ugly bruise creeping around his neck. Apparently, I could hit harder than I thought. What surprised me the most was the trail of blood that he’d tried to clear up under his nose. It looked like someone had punched him in the face. He barely glanced at me, breezing straight past me and into the office. He didn’t quite pull the door shut. Ian put his finger to his lips and tiptoed towards the door. Curiosity made me follow him. After all, Ian was the senior agent here. I couldn't disobey him.

 

“What happened to your face?” There was no surprise in Hill’s voice at the question.

 

“Romanoff accidentally tripped me and I hit a door frame,” Rollins said the word accidentally with more sarcasm than I’d ever be able to summon in my life. 

 

Ian’s hand flew to his mouth as he choked on the laughter trying to escape. I was barely able to hold back my own laughter. 

 

“Well, you won’t be so clumsy around her next time, will you?” Hill said smoothly. The next word was said with such command, I nearly snapped to attention. “Sit.”

 

“Off the medical we go,” Ian mouthed to be quietly, motioning for us to leave. As much as I wanted to hear Rollins get chewed out, I followed Ian. Seeing Rollins’ bloody face did wonders for making me feel better.

 

Thankfully for me, the visit to medical was quick and painless. As I thought nothing was broken, the swelling and bruising already starting to show would be gone in a few days. I sent Jared a text asking him where he was. Instead of replying like a normal person he teleported right next to me. 

 

“How are you feeling?” Jared asked, taking my face in his hand and tilting it so he could see the damage. “Fucking asshole. He would have been dead if I got my hands on him.”

 

“Maybe if you hadn’t of slept with his girlfriend this wouldn’t be happening,” I could stop my snap at Jared. I was tired, my face was beginning to ache and despite my earlier protest, I was really looking forward to going home. I pushed Jared’s hand off my face, scowling at my brother.

 

“She told me they broke up!” Jared argued back defensively. He looked upset at the accusation I’d just thrown at him. “And like I knew this would ever be a problem. I’ll have you know I had to get my ass out of jail that night too. Rollins thought it’d be a great idea to pick a fight when we were out having drinks. Wait until you meet Coulson, he had to come and get me and Barton. It wasn’t fun.”

 

“Wait, you got arrested?” I backtracked through this conversation. “Why didn’t I hear about this?”

 

“Because it was embarrassing,” Jared scowled. “For once I wasn’t being a huge slut, I actually liked her. So get your cranky pants off about it. I’m sorry Rollins is a fucking dick and I hope he’s going to think twice about what he did now.”

 

“Did you have something to do with that?” I asked curiously. All the fight had drained out of me at Jared’s explanation.

 

“No, you can thank Riley for that,” Jared said with a small chuckle. “I wasn’t there, but apparently he walked up to Nat and said Rollins smacked you in the face during class. Rollins didn’t know what hit him when Nat walked up behind him and pushed him into the doorframe.”

 

“I owe them both a drink.” If my face didn’t hurt so much I’d smile. “I elbowed him in the throat at least so one of his bruises belongs to me.”

 

“That’s my sister,” Jared grinned. “In all seriousness, are you all right? Your face looked really sore.”

 

“Nothing some aspirin and an ice pack won’t fix.” I shrugged off Jared’s concern. “I’m free for the rest of the day. Wanna drop me home?”

 

“Sure.” Jared grabbed my hand and before I could react to what I knew he was about to do. He teleported, taking me with him. I squeezed my eyes shut. The feeling of the world being sucked away was terrifying. Teleporting with Jared felt like having your body turned inside out and shoved through a blender if he got it wrong. But not even a second later we appeared in the lounge room of the apartment. I groaned and opened my eyes.

 

“Thanks,” I said dryly. I wasn’t a fan of that brief feeling that came with Jared’s teleporting. It was just the strangest feeling in the world.

 

“One trip home, and I’m going back to work otherwise I’ll be in trouble too.” Jared gave me a small grin. “Call me if you need me. Enjoy the peace and quiet.”

 

He was gone again before I could open my mouth to thank him. I sighed looking at the empty space in front of me. Then I looked around the empty apartment and my eyes fell on the large flat screen TV. The impressive DVD collection lined the TV cabinet it was sitting on. Not to mention there were two hard drives sitting connected to the TV as well. Jared had a huge range of taste in movies. One moment he could be watching Die Hard and the next Casablanca. After this morning I was in the mood for something with plenty of action. My eyes fell on the Transformers DVD sitting to the left of the cabinet.

 

I walked to the fridge, grabbed a beer and put the DVD on. Instead of sulking about being left at home, I may as well enjoy the rare free time I was going to get. With what SHIELD was trying to squeeze into my days, I was about to get very busy.

* * *

 

 

 

My life continued in a hurried blur for the next few weeks. I’d do PT, get beaten up by Rollins minus any blood or broken bones and make no progress at all with that class. Whatever Hill had said to him made him only back off slightly. He refrained from humiliating me in front of everyone now but I would still walk away with bruises. At least by the second week I’d stopped feeling like I was going to cry in the shower every morning. Then I’d either go sit on mission briefs and take notes on how everything was done in Operations. Or I’d sit in the office which Jared had been banished to, reading up like a good little nerd about how SHIELD ran. The only bright part of those times was that Riley was stuck in the same office as Jared, doing data entry and filing. Between the two of them not much work was actually being done. Being the quicker typer I ended up doing some of Jared’s work so he could teleport to where it was we felt like for food and bring it back. Or beer that was snuck in a few times. Those times were actually pretty fun and a bright spot in my days. When Jared was away or being unhelpful, Riley was there to actually help me. He’d caught Jared out on more than one occasion feeding me bullshit about something I had asked about. 

 

My brain felt like it was going to break with all the information I was trying to cram into it. My only sanity at the moment was doing my flight training with Ian. He’d always have coffee and beyond telling me where we were going. We wouldn’t talk about anything to do with work. I pretty much knew his entire life story now. I was disappointed he was retiring straight after my training, he would have been fantastic to have around for a while longer. Not only was he good at conversation, he was also a very good listener. There had been more than one occasion where I’d been frustrated by something and he was always more than happy to listen and talk me through it. Being in SHIELD for over 40 years had given him a lot of helpful insights. Which he was more than happy to pass along to me.

 

SHIELD wasn’t just a job. It was a way of life. Especially in Operations. There was a lot more to it than I ever imagined. I was only dipping my toe in the pool of knowledge I’d really need to know and even that was daunting enough. When Jared had joked a few years ago about being an American James Bond I’d just scoffed and called him an idiot. Now the more I knew, the more I realised that even James Bond played by tame rules compared to SHIELD. What surprised me even more was realising STRIKE was not just the dumb grunts I’d imagined them as. Though their skill sets weren’t the exact same as a Specialist, they were still highly trained to be able to undercover and do covert missions at the flip of a switch. The reason Riley could speak Russian so well is because he spent seven months in St Petersburg with a small team chasing down a team of rogue American scientists. I hadn’t even known what to say after I heard that story. It just made me feel very dumb and nervous all at the same time. I wouldn’t be able to pull off an undercover mission, especially not for that long. While I was book smart, I had the memory like a sieve for day to day things. I couldn’t even remember what I’d had for breakfast two days ago. How was I ever meant to catch up and learn all these things?

 

Today was painful. Three weeks into it all and I was starting to get nervous about what was going to happen to me. I’d been told I would be heading to the range tomorrow to make sure I tell the front end of the gun from the back end. I’d already gone for a flight with Ian and now I was waiting for Jared to finish so we could go home. True to my word I hadn’t taken his car again. There hadn’t been any need for me to since I didn’t get to do any more night flying. I’d spent the entire day sitting at the back of mission briefs and debriefs, trying not to fall asleep. Since I didn’t have a clearance level, all I was hearing was about very basic things. The only exciting thing I heard the entire day was one mission that had been intel gathering was now handing it over to a more experienced team for the target grab. That team had ended up being Rumlow’s team. It felt like it was the only thing I’d actually known what was being spoken about.

 

“I’m so bored, hurry up,” I complained to Jared, for about the 20th time in the last 10 minutes. He was actually sitting at his desk and furiously typing away for once. He didn’t glance down at me, he just gave me the finger. I was lying on the floor between the two desks, bored, tired and grouchy. I was like a five year old when I was like this. Prone to temper tantrums and tears at the drop of a hat.

 

“Unlike you, I’m still working,” Jared grumbled. “I got told to get this finished by today or Maria will have my balls.”

 

“Well, that's what happens when you fuck ass around for two weeks and not get it done,” Riley smirked over the top of his computer. I grinned up at him for the smart reply. Riley grinned back at me, happy he’d bested Jared for once. One thing I’d learned about Riley was that he was a quiet person. It wasn’t often he spoke up without being prompted. Jared being an asshole to me seemed to be enough to prompt him to talk these days.

 

“Get Riley to take you home then.” Jared went back to typing furiously. “Don’t fuck on the couch or in my bed. I’ll know if you do.”

 

Riley went bright red and cleared his throat, looking back to his computer and not at me. I could feel my own blush crawling up my neck. It’d taken me until last week to realise I had a bit of a crush on Riley. I was being good and staying away from STRIKE guys, even if Jared did approve of Riley. Jared really didn’t need to bring that up though. I hadn’t told him about it, and I thought I was playing coy pretty well. I just needed to grow some balls and ask Riley out for a beer. I made a ball of ice and threw it at Jared’s head. It was satisfying hearing the painful yelp come from him.

 

“Bitch” Jared grouched rubbing his head.

 

“Don’t be such an asshole,” I scolded Jared and turned to Riley to say something to make him not uncomfortable. It wasn’t until then that I realised that Riley was just staring at me in shock. I only then realised what I had just done. He’d never seen me use my powers at all. I had learnt to keep them under wraps very well. I don’t even know why I’d done that. It was such a major slip up on my part. Jared so openly teleported around here, that barely anyone gave it a second glance. I didn’t think what I had just done would make Riley react like that.

 

“Well,” Riley broke the silence first and went back to his own typing. “That breaks the awkward part of asking to see your power. You’re going to be a new favourite at keg parties when someone brings a hot keg.”

 

“Sure will be.” I let out a quiet sigh of relief. I didn’t want Riley to be freaked out by me. “I’m happy to be the resident beer cooler. It’s even more awesome when I can turn a swimming pool into an ice skating rink.”

 

“Can you really do that?” The sound of typing paused for a second, but Riley didn’t look up from his work.

 

“Only if she’s really angry,” Jared cut in before I could reply. I was going to be smart and tell him that would be a piece of cake. Maybe if I had actually used my powers more often it might be easy. It was like learning a skill. It had to be used and practised to become stronger. Besides the few times, I’d used it over the last few weeks to try and smack Jared. I couldn’t actually remember the last time I’d done any showing off with it. 

 

“Still pretty cool in my opinion,” Riley defended me and slammed the laptop shut. His comment made me smile at him. “I’m done, did you want a lift home, Kari?”

 

“Please.” I bounced up off the floor excited I was finally going to free from the glass prison of the Triskelion. I had already changed back into casual clothes and was ready to go. 

 

“I hate you both,” Jared grumbled, still typing away furiously on his computer. “Order Indian for dinner or something Kari. I’m not cooking tonight.”

 

Jared rarely cooked. I couldn’t complain about that because I didn’t cook at all. I was one of those hopeless people who could burn toast or boil water dry. About the only thing I could manage was scrambled eggs and pancakes. As long as it came from a box I could usually manage. It was safe to say I pretty much lived off frozen meals when I lived by myself. At least at Jared’s apartment, there was an awesome range of food joints within an easy five minute drive. And most of them delivered too. Living in a big city like DC had it’s advantages with that.

 

“Indian it is then.” I didn’t argue with Jared’s dinner choice. I loved Indian food. “How late are you going to be?”

 

Jared shrugged and pulled a face. His expression spoke more than words could. He was going to be here until much later.

 

“I won’t wait up then. Dinner will be in the fridge.”

 

Riley and I made our way out of the office and took our time walking to the elevator. Riley hit the button and the elevator opened instantly. What neither of us expected was the blonde male agent to come barreling out of it at nearly a sprint. Riley’s reflexes were a lot quicker than mine and he pulled me out of the way. The other male agent was on the phone not paying attention to where he was going. He quickly dropped the phone and mouthed sorry before continuing his fast pace down the hallway. I caught the tail end of his phone conversation before he bolted.

 

“I am running to you right now Coulson, please don’t kill me.”

 

I smothered my laugh, even though the other agent was too far away to hear me. Riley chuckled under his breath before walking into the elevator.

 

“Someone’s in trouble,” Riley said as the elevator started to take us to the garage. “Big trouble by the looks of that. He’s usually not that rude.”

 

“Who was that?” I asked.

 

“That’s Barton. Hawkeye. I’m sure you’ve heard of him.”

 

“Yeah once or twice,” I said dryly. Over the last few weeks, I’d found out Jared was friends with both Barton and Romanoff. I still hadn’t had the chance to meet either one of them. I wondered if it was partly Jared being overprotective of me. Or he simply didn’t want to share his friends. It was a toss-up which one was the truth.

 

My phone binged as an email came through. It was becoming a regular occurrence at the moment. SHIELD seemed to have no problems with sending an email for just about everything. Somehow even though I wasn’t an actual agent yet, I was getting all memos. Even things that didn’t apply to me. However, this email was different. I couldn’t stop the grin appearing on my face as I read it. 

 

“At long fucking last, I’m getting time at the shooting range tomorrow.”

 

“Nice,” Riley grinned with me. “That should make you happy. I can’t wait until I’m cleared so I can get back shooting. Here’s hoping my medical goes as planned for tomorrow.”

 

“Fingers crossed for both of us then.” I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face. It was the best news I’d had in weeks. “Want to have Indian with me to celebrate?”

 

A guilty look crossed Riley’s face. I instantly knew what his answer was going to be. I tried not to let my disappointment show. That was silly of me to ask. I hadn’t meant anything else behind it except for being excited for being allowed to do something besides sitting on mission briefs. 

 

“This is a bit sad,” Riley chuckled nervously. He ran his fingers through his hair before he continued. “But I Skype with my Mom every Wednesday night when I’m home. I never miss it because I never know when the next time I get to talk to her will be. Mind if I take a rain check?”

 

“Not sad at all.” I smiled. I wasn’t lying, it was actually very sweet. My Mom was lucky to get an email from me most weeks. Let alone sitting down and having an actual phone call. She’d been sending me a steady stream of texts and emails. I’d been too tired to do more than give her short replies to everything.

 

“Sorry.” Riley apologised with his adorable crooked grin. “It’s just my Mom and my sister Tessa I have for family. My Dad died in a car crash a few years ago. We’re pretty close.”

 

“Stop apologising,” I said gently. “It’s totally fine, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. Besides it just picking up takeaway, nothing special.”

 

Riley looked like he wanted to say something else. But he just turned away with a frustrated look on his face. I opened my mouth to ask him what was wrong. But the elevator opened and more agents walked in. I let the subject go. If Riley wanted to talk to me about it, then he would. If not it was none of my business what he was thinking.

 

“I think you’re fucking awesome for dropping me home,” I said lowly as we crammed towards the back of the elevator. Riley was squished up beside me and I wasn’t minding the closeness at all.

 

“I figured it’s the least I can do for you putting up with me the last few weeks,” Riley said quietly but returned the smile.

 

“I can think of so many worse things out there.”

 

I couldn’t help but grin at the smug smile that appeared on Riley’s face. Maybe I wasn’t the only one disappointed with him not staying for dinner.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 27th May 2018.


	6. Chapter 6

Out of all the training SHIELD was trying to cram into me in such a short time, weapons was far the easiest thing I had come across. Besides flying that was. I’d been stuck on the bus with the same recruits in my hand to hand class and taken to the range. The range was an hour away from the Triskelion and tucked away from public eye. It had all the ranges you could possible need. Short range all the way to a full-on sniper range. I’d looked at that longingly as the bus drove past it. Right now I was lying on the ground with a semi-automatic M-16 rifle that comfortable in my hands. I had to thank all the summers we spent as kids running around my grandparents cattle ranch shooting things. I was pretty damn accurate, especially like this. I had all the time in the world to set my shot up. The instructor had seen my first lot of groupings and told me just to do as I pleased. I was staring at a new target feeling bored. For my own amusement I started to shoot my way around a target circle. Each hole next to each other. Something Jared and I practiced as kids. There were no petrol cans to blow up so this would have to do.

 

I only had a week to go until I’d be put with a team and allowed in the field. Hill explained to me in the last email from her that I would definitely be assigned to a STRIKE team under Fury’s orders. There were five STRIKE teams stationed at the Triskelion and it would be one of them. In the same email it also said my clearance level would end up being what team I ended up working with. Jared was a level 7. I’d be pretty damn happy to be close to him to competitiveness sake. I don’t know if I was excited or terrified. Despite everything, I was actually starting to enjoy myself here. Flying with Ian was always the highlight of my day. Between Riley helping me out with everything else, and Jared’s guidance on anything I asked about, I was starting to feel somewhat comfortable now.

 

I scratched under my earmuffs and focused back on my target. They were USAF issued ones, unlike the regular ones everyone else was wearing. These ones allowed you to hear a normal conversation while muting out the sound of the gunfire. It was handy because I could hear everything that was being said. Two new guys had joined the instructors and were watching everyone carefully. One was dressed in a tight shirt and combat pants who looked vaguely familiar. He was all muscle with sandy blonde hair. He wore sunglasses which seemed to be the standard around here. The other dressed in an immaculate suit. I wasn’t paying too much attention to it until the one in the tight shirt spoke.

 

“Come on Coulson, why am I here? I have so many better things to be doing,” he grumbled to the one dressed in a suit. “These are a bunch of fresh rookies, nothing interesting. Or is this some new form of cruel and unusual punishment?”

 

“Watch the one on the end, Barton,” Coulson said. “I think you’ll find her interesting.”

 

I thought I recognised him. That was Clint Barton or Hawkeye. One of the best agents SHIELD ever had. The guy was a legend, along with Black Widow. All the stories I’d heard from Jared about them suddenly came to mind. And our very brief encounter at the elevator yesterday.

 

“The freakishly blonde one?” Clint asked. “I nearly said bottle blonde but that’s definitely her natural hair colour. You can tell by her complexion.”

 

I ignored both of them and kept on with my shooting. I had finished the outer circle and now I moved to the middle one. I’d give Barton one thing, he had sharp eyes. Everyone else assumed my hair colour came from a bottle.

 

“Yep, who else has freakishly blonde hair?” Coulson asked sounding slightly amused.

 

“Jared,” Clint said simply. “Or pick any Lyngley in SHIELD, they’re mostly all really fucking blonde.”

 

Obviously, Barton had never my Mom. She was brunette.

 

“That’s his twin sister,” Coulson explained. “Kari.”

 

“Thought so.” Clint sounded mildly impressed. “They looked far too much alike. She’s the one Ian McNaught has been training, isn’t she?”

 

“That’s her,” Coulson confirmed. There was a pause before Coulson spoke again. “I’m really surprised you haven’t met her yet.”

 

“If you hadn’t noticed Coulson, Jared is a little bit protective of his baby sister,” Clint said dryly. “After what happened I don’t think he’s ready to share her with anyone yet. Not even me or Nat.”

 

That explained why Jared hadn’t introduced us yet. It was better than Jared being an asshole and not wanting to share his friends.

 

“So, what’s happening with her in SHIELD now?” Clint asked after a few moments of silence. 

 

“According to Fury, she’ll be put with a STRIKE team. I thought he'd gone mad when he told me and the STRIKE leaders. There is usually a reason behind what he does though.”

 

The pair were silent for a bit and I could feel them watching me. I ignored it and just kept shooting. I wasn’t shooting very quickly, taking my time to line the target up to get the circle as close perfect as possible. Now I knew I was being watched, I felt like showing off a little. At least I was 100% confident in my shooting abilities if nothing else.

 

“Nice shooting,” Coulson said after a good minute of silence from the pair.

 

“Yeah she’s listening to us as well,” Clint said dryly. “USAF earmuffs, she can hear everything everyone is saying. Watch her cock her head to the right every time we speak.”

 

I paused for a second debating whether to respond to it. Now I was aware of it, I could feel my head slightly tilted to the right. It would have been barely noticeable at the distance they were standing. How could I respond to that? I think telling the infamous Hawkeye to fuck off was bordering on suicidal. Even if he was friends with Jared. 

 

I was moving onto the inner ring when an arrow whizzed by me and embedded itself into the target. Perfect bullseye. The range suddenly went quiet and everyone seemed to be staring at me. I hid my smile and took careful aim. I knew a challenge when it was presented to me. I let out a careful breath and sighted the arrow. It was going to be a damn lucky shot if I hit it. Squeezing the trigger I let a single shot off. 

 

I grazed the fletching on the arrow, the bullet just going a hair width too wide to the right. I screwed my nose up at my shot. Dammit, I should have taken my time instead of trying to show off. Another second of calculation and a very minor adjustment for wind speed and I would have gotten it. Boots crunched next to me and I squinted against the sun as I looked up to see Barton standing over me, bow still in his hand.

 

“You missed,” he raised an eyebrow at me looking mildly disappointed. His sunglasses were on the top of his head now. His expression was stern but his blue eyes were crinkled with what I thought might be humour. I could be wrong though. I wasn’t very good at reading people.

 

I felt a surge of competitiveness at his words. The way he looked at me was like he expected me to shrink away and not say anything. I flicked my gaze to his arrow and pushed my power into it. It shattered, leaving my circle of bullet holes left in the target. The person who was shooting next to me visibly jumped and moved away as far as they could from me. Shit, maybe I shouldn’t have done that. 

 

“I don’t believe I did Agent Barton,” I said smugly to hide my nerves, turning back towards him raising my own eyebrow. 

 

Clint didn’t say anything.  His expression barely changed as he glanced back at the target and walked away. I inwardly cringed hoping I didn’t offend him too much. That would just be typical of me, piss off one of the top Agent’s right before I’d be doing fieldwork. What’s more, if I pissed off one of Jared’s friends I’d be making my stay in DC very awkward. Fighting back a sigh I turned back to my target and lined up my next shot. Why did I always have to do things before thinking them through? I only got two more shots in before Clint’s boots came into view again. He nudged me in the arm with his boot, making me look up again. He was holding a sniper rifle in his hands looking serious. I mentally braced myself for the lecture I was about to get. 

 

“Ever fired one of these?” Clint asked with a wide grin appearing on his face.

 

I shook my head feeling my own grin pull at the corner of my lips. Hell fucking yes, this was going to be a good day. Every bit of doubt from before was gone. Clint held his hand out to me. I grabbed it and he pulled me to my feet.

 

“Lets hit the other range and you can put that accuracy to good use.” 

 

“Yes Sir,” I was grinning like an idiot. I had always wanted to play with a sniper rifle. Not exactly a skill that a fighter pilot needed. I’d been refused numerous times in the Air Force for any course that might let me learn to use one. So I just had to settle for the small civilian allowed one at the ranch with Grams. It was enough to teach me the basics of it. I had good accuracy up to 400 feet. I loved the skill it took for long distance shooting. 

 

“Clint.” Clint offered his hand to me to shake. “Or Hawkeye, I don’t mind either.”

 

“Kari,” I shook his hand.

 

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet Jared’s crazy ass twin.” Clint motioned for me to follow him. I fell into step beside him easily. It was the advantage of being tall, I would have only been an inch shorter than him.

 

“The one and only,” I said dryly. “I swear everything my brother said about me was a lie.”

 

“Oh, I wouldn’t be so quick to admit that,” Clint chuckled lightly. “He speaks pretty highly of you. Well, most of the time anyway. There are times where he bitches about you like any other sibling.”

 

“That I find hard to believe,” I shook my head. “The speaking highly of me that is.”

 

“Trust me, I heard about the story when you had to pick him up when he was drunk one night and you got mistaken for a stripper,” Clint said with a smile that lit up his entire face. 

 

I didn’t know whether to laugh or groan in disgust. Of all the stories why did it have to be that one? Jared had been off his face drunk and begged me to come and pick him up. I was on my way from Langley to spend the weekend with him anyway. I was still in uniform when I rocked up to the party. As soon as I walked in there had been a large group of guys and Jared nowhere to be seen. Someone had asked very loudly and drunkenly if I was their stripper for the night. I had quickly agreed to it, telling them to pay me my fee straight up like I’d been told I would get. I had managed to wrangle $800 out of them and then simply walked out of the room making an excuse that I was getting changed into something more appropriate. I found Jared, dragged him out and quickly left without another word. When Jared heard about it at work he’d been in tears from laughing so hard.

 

“Well, it had been a long day and I figured Jared and I could do with the money for the weekend." I decided to laugh. It was a funny story. “I hadn’t seen him for a few months and I thought we could do the tourist thing in DC. The Air Force doesn’t pay as well as SHIELD does.”

 

“I think we’re going to get on just fine Kari,” Clint laughed hard at my explanation. “Have you been assigned a team yet?”

 

“Nothing yet, I only got an email from Agent Hill this morning about it.” I wished I knew more about my fate. The waiting was killing me.

 

“Two tours in the Middle East, both requested not ordered,” Clint looked at me with a raised eyebrow. “Took every optional weapons course possible, made some Special Ops and Rangers cry about the unfairness of you being a girl and not being able to be one of them.”

 

“He was a SEAL instructor actually,” I laughed nervously correcting him. It seems someone had gotten a good look at my personal file. Jared must not have been shy about sharing stories about me. “And it was only my shooting he was impressed with. I never got invited to SEAL training. Wrong branch of the military there and I lack three important pieces of equipment. Or so they tell me they’re important.”

 

“Thank god SHIELD doesn’t still live in the 1950’s believing females can’t be operatives. You were the first female Raptor pilot, you're officially a badass, and more than capable of kicking some serious ass.” Clint countered, giving me a smile. “If you don’t get assigned to me and Nat I’ll cry. I hear there’s quite the argument over who gets you.”

 

“Now Hawk you should at least buy me a coffee first before you go reading my file and learning all about me,” I teased to cover my excitement, feeling my nerves fade away. I only knew the bare basics of the STRIKE groups. I did know Barton and Romanoff were a STRIKE Team to themselves, destination Delta. No one had ever been picked for their team before. I was surprised to hear people were arguing over me. I didn’t have that much to offer any of the STRIKE Teams. I figured there’d be an argument with however got stuck with me because they didn’t want someone like me around.

 

“If I wasn’t married then I would for sure,” Clint laughed. “And it’s Hawkeye. Not Hot Guy either, you call me that and I’ll kill you. No matter what some of the other guys say I don’t like that variation of my codename. Big Bird is out of bounds too.”

 

“Well, Hawk will do then,” I said smugly. I was a little surprised at that bit of information. Clint really didn't look like the type of guy to be settled down and married. Then again no one in his profession would really be that type of person. Jared joked to me on many occasions that SHIELD had the biggest single population in any workforce on this planet. I’d heard the exact same thing coming from Riley.

 

“Great.” Clint rolled his eyes playfully. My tease only made him smile wider. “You know I’ll speak to Jared and find out an embarrassing nickname for you.”

 

“That’s fine, you can call him Sidestep to embarrass him,” I said smoothly. “That’s what he ended up being called at school. Because of his teleporting and the fact he always managed to step around trouble.”

 

“So nothing has changed then,” Clint laughed again. “Nat works with Jared a fair bit doing super spy shit. I need something new to tease him about. How’s living with Jared going? I imagine he’s a pain in the ass to deal with on a 24/7 basis.”

 

“It’s not that bad.” I felt compelled to defend Jared a little. He had been a very good sport about me invading his personal space. “It could be so much worse. He’s dying to get back to some real work, as he keeps calling it.

 

“If he hadn’t of burnt down that building in Helsinki he wouldn’t have that problem of being stuck at home,” Clint scoffed. “He only has himself to blame there. You ready?”

 

I had been so engrossed in our conversation I’d barely noticed to walk to the long range shooting range. It was completely deserted except for us.

 

“Hell fucking yes I’m ready,” I couldn’t stop the grin on my face. This was the first time this month where I’d felt like being in SHIELD really wasn’t going to be the end of the world for me. Now if only I could get assigned to STRIKE Team Delta. Then things would really be working in my favour. Funny how Jared had joked about it a few weeks ago. But then again knowing my luck I could be doing nothing but sit in a Quinjet watching a STRIKE team from afar for the next 12 months.

 

“Standard issue M24 sniper rifle, bolt action.” Clint sat down on the ground and started to put the rifle on its stand. “This baby is live so be nice to her and don’t think about shooting Coulson’s coffee cup. It makes him pretty mad.”

 

“You sound like you know from experience,” I said as I settled down behind the rifle watched Clint carefully as he set it up. I couldn’t stop my silly small grin of excitement about it. Not only was I finally getting to shoot one, it was none other than the legendary Hawkeye showing me how to do it. 

 

“I do,” Clint chuckled. “Coulson is my handler, Natasha’s as well. I was very young when SHIELD recruited me and I gave him all sorts of hell. He blames me for all his grey hairs.”

 

“From the stories I’ve heard about you, you need all the handling you can get,” I grinned as Clint moved so I could settle behind the rifle. I quickly stopped myself and glanced up at Clint, hoping he wasn’t offended. He wasn’t, he just sat there with a carefree grin on his face.

 

“I’ve heard the stories about your family dinners,” Clint teased me back. “Don’t you start with me stripper girl.”

 

“Which is why I avoid them like the plague,” I laughed at Clint calling me stripper girl. I quickly settled behind the sniper rifle, peering through the scope. “I’m ready.”

 

There were mannequins placed about half a mile away and then staggered out over the distances. The first few were easy shots. But anything after that would be an interesting display. Clint pulled a pair of binoculars from his pants pocket and looked through them.

 

“First target. Closest one to you, 2 o’clock, left eye,” Clint instructed. “Take your time.” 

 

A piece of cake. His words had barely left his mouth before I let the shot off. It hit the target perfectly. I pulled the bolt and reloaded a new bullet into the chamber.

 

“Nice.” Clint whistled in admiration. “All right smart ass, 4th target in second last row. Head and heart shot. Five seconds between shots. Mind the change of wind.”

 

That one was a little tricker. Clint was right that there’d been a tiny change of wind speed. I blew out a breath and readjusted myself for the shots.  I squeezed the trigger for the first shot and quickly lined the second one up not looking to see if I hit my mark. Only when the bullet went through the chest cleanly did I glance up to my headshot. There wasn’t anything left of the head.

 

“Oops,” I grinned sheepishly.

 

“Very nice.” Clint grinned over at me. His praise made me turn pink with embarrassment and pleasure. Someone like Clint telling me it was a very nice shot meant a lot.“Very, very nice shooting. Where’d you learn to shoot?”

 

“Grandparents place,” I explained. “Used to sit in the back of a pick up picking off rabbits with a .22. So lots of practice hitting moving targets. Stationary ones are easy. Long distance is because I’m a nerd and I really like physics.”

 

“Is it just with a gun?” Clint asked. There was a small smirk on his face and I had a horrible feeling he already knew the answer. Fucking Jared and his big mouth.

 

I blushed a little bit under his curious gaze. I really didn’t want to admit to the legendary Hawkeye that I didn’t mind using a bow either. I had been on the archery team at school and loved every second of it. It was about the only thing I was good at sports wise growing up. I was mostly too uncoordinated for anything else. Jared had teased me mercilessly about it when he’d first joined SHIELD and he had seen me do a Robin Hood and split an arrow with another arrow. Now I knew why he snickered every time he saw me get the bow out when we were at the ranch.

 

“I can kind of shoot a bow as well,” I mumbled quietly. “Obviously not as good as you.”

 

“That’s it. I want you and I’m getting you.” Clint declared as he stood up. “Everyone else can get fucked. You belong to me and Nat.”

 

“I feel like a lost puppy all of a sudden,” I laughed to cover my lingering embarrassment. I knew he was joking but it made me feel very special right now. I doubted Clint was the type of person to be easily impressed. “You found me on the side of the road and now have you beg your Dad to keep me.”

 

“Well, there is a running joke that Coulson and his strays tend to drag other strays in,” Clint said with a laugh. “I’m just keeping up with tradition.”

 

I knew the basic story between Clint and Natasha pretty well. She was a KGB agent who had gotten on SHIELD’s radar in a bad way and Barton was sent to kill her. For some reason, he made a different call and brought her back instead. It’d been a good call on his behalf. They were the two of the best operatives SHIELD has seen in a very long time. I didn’t envy Coulson being their handler in the least. From what I heard from Jared they were both pretty wild, which is why they were so good. They were willing to put themselves into situations no one else would ever dream of. And get themselves out again. 

 

“So I have a potentially rude question,” Clint continued when I didn’t speak. “Are you like Jared and double gifted? Or is your ice just your only power?”

 

I couldn’t help but start a little at his question. It’d been a very long time since anyone ever openly questioned my powers. When I left for a normal high school would have been the last time.

 

“No, I can turn invisible as well, it’s not as strong as my ice powers though,” I said tentatively. “It’s fucking hard to maintain, to be honest. I don’t really use it.”

 

“Can I see?” Clint asked carefully. “You can tell me to fuck off if you don’t want to.”

 

“Sure.” After letting me play with the sniper rifle, it was the least I could do. I focused on my entire body and let the invisibility slide over me. Like I explained to Clint, it was damn hard to maintain. I only kept it up for five seconds before appearing again, feeling slightly winded from the effort. “Cool huh?”

 

“Very fucking cool.” Clint grinned at me. “Come on, I’ll introduce you to Coulson.”

 

Clint picked the sniper rifle up and slung it over his shoulder before I could grab it.

 

“I could have taken that,” I said feeling a bit odd that he was carrying the weapon for me. 

 

“Yeah but its mine and I’m fussy about people touching my stuff,” Clint explained as we started to walk away. “Don’t touch my bow’s or I’ll break your fingers.”

 

The last part was said jokingly and I felt myself smile. It was good to be smiling again and not feeling like the world hated me right now.

 

“I would love to see you try.” The challenge fell from my mouth before I could stop it. Of all the stupid things I could say, that had to pop out of my mouth.

 

“You’re on,” Clint said instantly. “Sparring tomorrow in the gym. 0500 and then we’ll hit the archery range. You can show me how well you can shoot and I can make you unlearn everything you know.”

 

Holy shit. What had I just gotten myself into? I was going to die. The basic hand to hand course I’d been doing was not going to prepare me for this at all. Rollins had still taken the great pleasure in beating my ass and shattering my confidence every single morning. I didn’t shrink under his steady gaze, I just put on what I hoped to be a look of smug confidence.

 

“Done.” I made myself smirk a bit wider repeating his own words. “So on, prepare to have your ass handed to you.”

 

Well, it would be the other way around. But if nothing else I could pick up a few tips from him. Hand to hand was not a strong point of mine. I could defend myself well enough, but I just didn’t have the power behind me to do any major damage. The best I could ever do with Jared was get him in a choke hold and kick his knees out from underneath him. I did a few of those terrible self-defence courses while in the Air Force but they were no help at all when it came to this. It wasn’t helping that Rollins was still going out of his way to make my life miserable during the classes.

 

“All I’m hearing now is Natasha’s words coming out of your mouth and it's scaring me slightly,” Clint laughed with a shake of his head. “But done. Are you getting a lift to work with Jared still?”

 

“Yeah.” I screwed my nose up in disgust. “It's like being a teenager all over again. I have a license but he doesn't trust me enough with his car to let me drive.”

 

“I wouldn't trust Jared to drive,” Clint said with a snort. “Actually I think I’ve seen him drive about five times in the few years I’ve known him. He teleports everywhere. Scares the shit out of my wife, but the kids love it.”

 

Another surprise for the day. The infamous Hawkeye married and with kids as well. 

 

“You have kids?” I asked. Clint shot me a look of amusement.

 

“Yeah, don’t look so surprised,” Clint said. “I know, STRIKE and family life don’t go together but it’s true. I’ve got two, a boy and girl. He’s six and she’s three. My wife is an ER doctor.”

 

“Sorry.” I instantly apologised “I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.”

 

“Don’t be sorry.” Clint brushed off my apology easily. “Trust me, it’s a pretty well-kept secret that I have a wife and kids. I’m just a little surprised you didn’t know already from Jared.”

 

It suddenly clicked in my head where Jared disappeared to during the holidays. He always had an excuse to try and avoid Thanksgiving and Christmas family gathering. Mom was always upset at him when he said he couldn’t get away from work. There was a bit of a rule we had to come for at least one of the family gatherings. Jared always assured her that he wasn’t alone and well looked after during the holiday season, staying with a work colleagues family. A work colleague with two young kids who he loved buying presents for. He never mentioned names though.

 

“So that’s where Jared hides during the holidays” I laughed as I figured it out. “Sneaky asshole, he never mentioned names otherwise Mom would have come and dragged him home.”

 

“Busted so many times over.” Clint held his hands up in surrender laughing with me. “My wife, Laura, doesn’t mind at all. The kids adore their Uncle Jared. Nat and Coulson spend holidays with us, so it's like one big dysfunctional family with the weirdest set of house rules you will ever come across.”

 

Before I could reply, I heard someone call out Clint’s name. It was Coulson standing there on the phone motioning for him to come over. Even under his sunglasses, I could tell Coulson was not impressed with something. Clint let out a small groan and had a pained expression jump over his face.  
  
“What am I in trouble for this time?” Clint lifted the sniper rifle up on his shoulder a little more. “I swear I haven’t done anything in like the last two days to merit being in trouble.”

 

“Only two days? It must be hard for you to keep out of trouble for that long,” I teased. Then I hoped he wouldn’t be offended by it. I don’t know why, but he was easy to get along with. Not something I was expecting. Clint just shot me a cheeky smile before heading over to Coulson with a small wave. Coulson got off the phone as we got within hearing range.

 

“Phil, Kari Lyngley,” Clint quickly introduced me. There was no need to, Coulson already knew who I was. But I’m sure Clint was stalling. “This is Coulson, my handler and brother from another mother when I’m not in trouble.”

 

Coulson gave Clint a weary look before turning to me.

 

“Pleasure, it’s nice to put a face to the name that I’ve heard so much about,” Coulson smiled and offered his hand. I shook with him, without the usual display of macho bullshit that I’d gotten used to over the last three weeks. “Barton, what did I tell you about those mission reports?”

 

“That admin emails reminders for me to complete them for a good reason and I shouldn’t send those reminders to the junk mail.” Clint reached up to pull his sunglasses back down. He scratched his head and looked around everywhere but Coulson. “Yeah, I know. I’ll do them tonight. I promise.”

 

“It's like working with a five year old.” Coulson gave me an exasperated smile before turning back to Clint looking stern again. “Do I need to lock you in my office again to get them done?”

 

“Never.” Clint smiled brightly. I couldn’t stop the small chuckle that came from me. He looked like a kid that had just been busted with something bad and then gotten out of trouble. “Last time you did that, you took the scotch so I didn’t even get anything to drink while I was there.”

 

“My office isn’t a bar,” Coulson scolded but he had an amused smile starting to creep onto his face. It sounded like this was a conversation they’d had a lot over the years. “And you murder my good scotch by adding ice.”

 

I couldn’t stop the shudder that went through me. Or the disgusted noise I made. I agreed with Coulson. Scotch was meant to be drunk by itself, no ice added. Or with dry ginger ale, definitely never coke. Clint glanced at me, looking amused at my silent agreement with Coulson.

 

“You know Phil,” Clint began smoothly. “Kari hasn’t been assigned a team yet, and she’s a pretty good shot.”

 

“Yeah?” Coulson looked expectedly at Clint and crossed his arms. “And?”

 

I felt my heart sink a little at the turn of this conversation. It was silly of me to even dream to be assigned to STRIKE Team Delta. I couldn’t even get a word in to vouch for myself. Not that I would know what to say. This was beyond me. I was really surprised that Clint had even brought it up.

 

“And I heard she’s a pretty amazing pilot too,” Clint continued not looking perturbed by Coulson’s lack of interest at all. “You’re always harping on about Nat and I never having proper extraction plans, or missing our rides. We could do with having our own pilot. It’ll stop giving you so many grey hairs.”

 

Coulson didn’t say anything. He just looked at Clint with a fairly blank expression before shrugging his shoulders slightly. 

 

“This one isn’t up to me, its Fury’s call,” Coulson finally said with a shrug. “Talk to him.”

 

There goes that crazy idea right out the window. I doubted Fury would ever go with this idea. I forced a smile on my face and didn’t say anything else. It was silly of me to even dream about something like that. Though it was nice to meet Clint. I could see us being friends no matter who I got assigned to. I glanced over to where my group had been to see them started to climb onto the bus. A lot more time had passed than I thought. I’d been so wrapped up in our conversation.

 

“Shit, that’s my ride,” I said quickly. “So 0500 tomorrow Hawk? Nice to meet you, Agent Coulson.”

 

“Looking forward to it. Don’t be late.” Clint grinned at me. “See you tomorrow. If Jared is being an asshole about giving you a lift, get him to ring me and I’ll pick you up.”

 

“Thank you.” I couldn’t put enough gratitude into those two words. Clint had treated me like a friend from the start. It was a nice change of pace.

 

I turned to run to make the bus. I had no qualms in thinking that I’d be left behind. I wasn’t fitting in anywhere. I wasn’t a rookie coming through the Academy. And I wasn’t an agent yet either. I was stuck in limbo land. Despite Clint’s friendliness, I didn’t think my company would be welcomed by him or Coulson. I had no doubt there’d be a hot discussion on the way back to where ever they were going. I only just caught their exchange as I rushed up to the bus.

 

“Hawk? Really Clint you usually punch people when they call you just Hawk.” Coulson had turned to Clint sounding amused. 

 

“Well, I like this one even if Jared is her twin, can we keep her? Please, Coulson?”

 

I laughed under my breath as I made it to the bus just as the doors were about to close. What the hell had I done right to make Clint Barton want me on his team? I shook my head to try and get rid of that thought. It was an idea that was too crazy to contemplate. I needed to let that idea go. A girl could dream though. Clint had given me a much needed confidence boost though. I was on cloud nine on the trip way to the Triskelion.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 27th May 2018


	7. Chapter 7

“Come on Jared, I’m a good driver and you know that.” I tried not to sound too pleading that night as Jared and I sat down for dinner. Instead of eating out Jared had cooked steak and vegetables for dinner. It was nothing exciting but edible and beyond my lousy cooking skills. “I need to be at work early and unlike you, I can’t teleport to where I need to go. Look I’m even asking this time so you can’t be mad.”

 

“Why so early?” Jared screwed his nose up. “Ugh, I forgot your one of those stupid people who like early mornings.”

 

I scowled at Jared but didn’t retaliate. If we argued then there wouldn’t be any chance I’d be allowed to use his car. I swear he was doing this just to push my buttons. Plus he liked to hear me beg a favour of him. As reassuring as Clint had been about giving me a lift, I wasn’t sure if Jared was going to go for that.

 

“I just got asked to come in early and unless you want to get up that early with me, I’ll need the car,” I said patiently. “Please?”

 

“Again, why?” Jared looked at me curiously. “What did you do?”

 

“I didn’t do anything,” I shrugged, pushing my peas around the plate. “I was at the range today.”

 

“Oh, how did that go?” Jared suddenly looked a lot more interested in this conversation than before. “Show them all up?”

 

“Of course I did.” If it wasn’t Jared asking I might have been offended by that question. “Nothing changed there. And you’ll never guess who I ran into there.”

 

“Wade Wilson?” Jared asked me with a smirk. I glared at Jared for his smart-ass quip. I didn’t even know who that was so I wasn’t getting baited into that conversation. It would probably end up in Jared smugly telling me I didn’t have the clearance level to know. Then I’d throw something at him. Usually something hard.

 

“Clint Barton actually,” I said smoothly. Jared’s fork paused midway to his mouth. “Thanks for introducing us by the way. I didn’t think I embarrassed you that much you didn’t want me hanging with your friends.”

 

“I never said I was embarrassed by you,” Jared said with a scowl. He pointed the piece of steak on his fork at me. “Don’t even go there. I was waiting until you were more settled in before I took you around to meet everyone. There is the whole problem of no one in SHIELD know’s about his family so I was covering all of my angles. Clint is very protective of his family so I wasn't taking you around unannounced. Don’t be a bitch.”

 

“Well, I know about them now and I’ve met him.” I was a bit taken back at the force behind Jared’s words. “So, now I can probably buy Natasha that drink for shoving Rollins into a wall as well.”

 

“So why was Barton at the range? It couldn’t be showing off to the new recruits. He and Natasha are banned from talking to them,” Jared asked, his tone softer this time. I felt bad for accusing him of being embarrassed by me. He had a very good point about Clint’s family. I would have never thought about that.

 

“Agent Coulson brought him out to watch me shoot. I don’t know why.” I went back to pushing the peas around my plate. I’d eaten on the way home from the range when the bus stopped at McDonald's. Jared had gone to the effort of cooking dinner, so I was trying to eat it even though I wasn’t hungry. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. It was rare he cooked. The steak had been good but the peas were still hard and very undercooked.

 

“I do.” Jared’s mood shifted as he smirked at me. “You’re the biggest gossip around work at the moment.”

 

“I hate being gossip.”

 

“Yeah but you are, so stop bitching about it.” Jared reached forward and grabbed his beer off the coffee table. “Anyway, my guess would be to see if you two got along together.”

 

“But why?” I asked, feeling confused. “It’s not like I’d get assigned to them. Even Coulson said it was out of his hands when Barton asked.”

 

“So what did you do to get Clint Barton himself interested?” Jared put his own fork down and turned to look at me with a lot of interest now. “Come on Kari spill. It takes a lot to impress Barton. The guy is one of the best shots in the world. You had to do something good.”

 

I could feel a stupid blush creep onto my cheeks when Jared said that. My good impression had only been not backing down from a challenge when it was presented to me. Beyond that, I didn’t know why Barton had shown so much interest in me. It couldn’t have been my shooting. While it was good, it wasn’t completely amazing to impress Clint.

 

“You know what.” Jared sat up properly and put his plate and beer on the coffee table when I didn’t answer. “I’m going to ring him myself and find out.”

 

“Jared,” I warned. “Don’t. Please. It wasn’t anything exciting, trust me.”

 

“Yeah, right.” Jared rolled his eyes, pulling his phone from his pocket. “I bet it is, otherwise you wouldn’t be sitting here blushing and acting all coy about it. So you did something awesome and aren’t admitting it.”

 

Before I could protest any further Jared hit a name on the screen and put the phone on loudspeaker. I reached over to grab it but Jared quickly teleported to the other side of the room before I could get close. He smirked at me at the phone started to ring. 

 

“What Sidestep?” Clint’s voice came over the phone as he answered. He sounded so smugly proud of himself. Jared shot me a dirty look at the use of his old nickname.

 

“What did my little sister do today?” Jared jumped right into it. “Cuz she’s sitting here blushing and not telling me. It had to be impressive or really bad since she has to be at work at stupid o’clock tomorrow.”

 

“Why are you ringing me about it?” Clint asked sounding bored. “She’s your twin if she doesn’t want to tell you then……COOPER!”

 

Both Jared and I jumped at the sound of Clint yelling.

 

“For fuck sake,” Clint muttered under his breath before raising his voice to a normal level again. “No, how many times have I said no crossbows in the house?”

 

I snorted trying to stop myself laughing. I didn’t hear the reply from Cooper but Clint muttered a few Russian swear words quietly. I raised my eyebrows at that. I didn’t know Clint could speak Russian. But it’d make sense with who his partner was. Even his accent was flawless.

 

“It’s still a bow dude,” Clint said, sounding like he was fast running of out patience. “No matter what Aunty Nat says it’s a no to using it in the house. And no I don’t care if they’re only blunt, they still hurt. When you sister punches you in the nuts again for doing it don’t come to me crying.”

 

“Wow it sounds like Gram’s during the holidays,” I laughed shaking my head. Clint wasn’t kidding when he said his house had the weirdest set of house rules. If there had to be a rule about no bows in the house, well my imagination could run wild with the rest of the rules. Then again they probably didn’t have the rule about no using powers at the table. Under any circumstances. That was always an interesting time at our place. 

 

“I will repeat what I said at his birthday,” Jared laughed as Clint muttered something I couldn’t hear. “That wasn’t my idea. I wanted to get him a DS. Tasha got him the crossbow and put my name on the card so she didn’t get all the blame.”

 

“Yeah, well thanks,” Clint grumbled. “That thing causes World War 3 around here. They’re going to come live with you if they keep being little shits today. Why are you bugging Kari about today?”

 

Right back into the previous conversation. I made a ball of ice in my hand and casually started to toss it between my hands as a warning to Jared. He just smiled at me sweetly and flames came from his hand that wasn’t holding the phone. Jared and I had no such rules about using powers at the table. One we didn’t have a table, and two it had been a long time since we had roughhoused with our powers. I was disappointed when Jared let his flames drop without any fighting. I pouted slightly and pushed my power into the ice ball until it shattered. Jared was no fun, I was looking forward to smacking him in the head with it.

 

“Curiosity. She needs my car to travel like a real person,” Jared said with an infuriating smirk. “Because there is no way in hell I’m getting up that early to drag her ass to work.

 

“Aren’t you the worst twin in the world” Clint scoffed. “If you must know she was making a circle of bullets around the target. With a semi-auto M16 on a windy day at the furthest target possible. I shot an arrow in her target and she only just missed shooting it. Got the fletching though. When I told her she missed she just used her power and made the arrow explode.”

 

“Nice.” The admiration was clear on Jared’s face. “That’s my twin.”

 

“So I need her embarrassing nickname to tease her tomorrow,” Clint asked. “Because she’s meeting me in the gym and then I’m going to see if she’s any good with a bow as well.”

 

“She doesn’t have an embarrassing nickname.” Jared pouted, the grumble clear in his voice. “She really doesn’t, she even liked her callsign which was Knuckles by the way. And yes she’s pretty awesome with a bow as well. At least now she’ll understand why I gave her all sorts of shit about it after I finished at the Academy and ended up working with losers like you and Nat.”

 

“Yeah well, remember this loser can still break you in half pretty boy. Thank you for that,” Clint said smugly “See you…”

 

Clint was cut off again. This time by a high pitched shriek and girlish giggle followed by dogs barking.

 

“Later.” Clint finished as soon as the noise quietened down to an acceptable level. He didn’t wait for Jared’s reply, he hung up. 

 

“I hate you.” I scowled at Jared as soon as Clint was gone. “So much. Why do you need to embarrass me like that?”  
  
“For the same reason you gave Barton my nickname,” Jared grinned at me, not the least bit perturbed at my scowl. “Yes you can borrow my car tomorrow and whenever else you need it for. Good job Kari, I knew you’d fit in here.”

 

I threw a pea at Jared. I didn’t have a reply to his teasing. Jared laughed and got up went into the kitchen. When he came back he had a bottle of Glenfiddich whiskey, aged 25 years. It was an impressive and expensive bottle of whiskey. Jared wordlessly poured two glasses, a smile on his face the entire time.

 

“What’s this for?” I asked when Jared handed me a glass. Straight up, no ice. Just the way I liked it.

 

“For picking yourself up off the floor and making the best out of shitty circumstances,” Jared smiled at me brightly as he lifted his own glass. “Just like I knew you would. Cheers.”

 

I blushed furiously at the very rare compliment coming from Jared. But I didn’t stop the smile that felt like it lit up the whole room. Jared was right all those weeks ago. This wasn’t going to be the end of the world. I was starting to enjoy myself.

 

* * *

 

 

 

I threw the coffee cup in the trash after draining the contents as I walked into the gym. I was ten minutes early. I couldn’t sleep properly because of my nerves. I’d given up around 0330 and gotten up and ready for the day ridiculously early. While having breakfast as quietly as I could so I didn’t wake Jared, I had a quick look on the net for my own apartment. My heart sank when I looked at the price of them all. I wasn’t sure how much money I’d be on when I was a full agent, but I had no idea how I was going to afford living by myself. Rent was insanely high unless I wanted to do a 45 minute commute to work. I might just have to keep sharing with Jared and hope we didn’t kill each other.

 

Why did I think this was going to be a good idea? My nerves increased as I saw Clint already waiting for me. He was wrapping his hands looking wide awake. His head snapped in my direction as the door closed with a bang. He smirked as I walked over to him. I was glad I was becoming immune to all the guys with big muscles and hot bodies around here. Clint was pretty ripped, more so than most guys around here. Hours of archery practice had given him taunt arm and back muscles, which stood out clearly thanks to the tight t-shirt he wore. I could see every clearly defined 6 pack against his shirt. 

 

“Good morning Knuckles,” Clint said smartly. “You’re early.”

 

“Morning,” I couldn’t help but laugh at Clint. My tension easing off a fraction. “At least I didn’t have an embarrassing callsign. One of the guys tried to call me Three Less but thankfully it didn't stick.”

 

“So why Knuckles?” Clint looked at me curiously. He had finished wrapping his hands and was flexing his hands around them. I didn’t miss the quirk of his lips at the stupid joke of the nickname one of the guys tried to make. 

 

“Got into a bar fight,” I half smiled at the memory. “Broke some guys nose, but broke my knuckle as well. So hence the nickname Knuckles.”

 

“Well, that’s not giving me much confidence that you're going to break my fingers,” Clint had a small laugh at my explanation. “So I’m guessing you’ve been doing hand to hand skills here?”

 

I nodded feeling my ego deflate at his words. He’d seen right through me and knew this wouldn’t be a challenge.

 

"You've got Rollins as an instructor don't you?" Clint expression was one of mild disgust. It seemed like Rollins wasn't well liked within SHIELD.

 

My nod of confirmation made Clint scowl briefly.

 

"He’s useless, thinks hand to hand is all about being able to punch the hardest. Don't listen to him.”

 

“And I’m not exactly packing in the muscles department.” I was relieved at Clint’s reaction. I was beginning to think I was a lost cause with it. Unlike Jared, I didn’t do any kind of martial arts at school so I was starting from scratch with my abilities.

 

“It’s not about muscles.” Clint shook his head. “It’s about using what you have to your advantage. Take me for example, I’m a big guy so I had to learn to be agile and not just rely on my strength if I get into close combat. It's not my favourite thing so I had to work hard at being good at it.”

 

“Not your speciality?” I asked curiously. This little talk was making me realise I really didn’t know anything about what I was about to get myself into. My curiosity was getting the better of me though. My ego couldn’t stand any more beatings in my classes, I needed to work on this to become better. Even with the little tips from Jared and Riley, I wasn’t doing much good.

 

“No, I like to take my targets out from a distance,” Clint explained. “I prefer not to do much close combat, that’s more Nat’s speciality than mine. She’s small, fast and can get in and out of trouble before I can land a punch.”

 

“So I’m tall and skinny, I feel like I don’t have much going,” I said dryly. Clint chuckled lightly at me.

 

“You’re tall, so you can use your reach as an advantage.” Clint rolled his shoulders, stretching his neck from side to side with an audible pop. “Skinny, well you're going to have to start hitting the gym to build muscle. Start a high protein, low carb diet and you’ll muscle up easily. But my bet would be with training you can be pretty damn quick.”

 

“I’m glad someone is giving me hope I might be able to at least not die one day.” I had to stop myself sagging in relief. Clint was giving me a small sliver of confidence back. 

 

“I have no doubt you’d fight like a cornered tiger if you had to,” Clint chuckled again. “So, throw a punch at me.”

 

“Seriously?” I couldn’t stop myself gaping at Clint. “Like just punch me and I’m not going to sit there and correct your stance and get in trouble because my foot is an inch too far to the right?”

 

“Yeah seriously.” Clint smiled at me as he stood with his feet slightly apart. He looked completely at ease. “Show me what you’ve got.”

 

“Okay.” I cringed, Clint was going to think I was the worst student in the world right now. I took a stance, instantly forgetting everything I’d been taught as my nerves kicked in. 

 

“Kari, don’t even think about it.” Clint looked like he was trying not to laugh at me. “Just punch me. There’s no right or wrong here. I don’t have any kind of style to the way I fight. It’s just whatever works best for me. An enemy isn't going to care if you're a black belt in something. They're going to try and kill you whatever way they can. So, throw a punch.”

 

I gulped before throwing a weak punch towards him. Clint stepped away from it easily and sent a quick punch back at me, aiming for my face. Years of roughhousing with Jared was the only thing that made me step back and throw my arm up to block up. Clint’s fist connected with my arm with enough force to make me grunt in surprise. 

 

“Good.” Clint nodded, stepping back. “Nice reflex, you didn’t even have to think there.”

 

I’d probably made more progress in that one move than I had in three weeks of hand to hand class. My confidence started to creep back out of it’s hiding hole at Clint’s praise. I was really getting hung up on my lack of skill in this area. 

 

“Try again,” Clint instructed. “This time don’t be afraid of putting a bit of power behind it. You won’t hurt me.”

 

This time I threw the punch like I meant it. I still missed Clint, he would have seen it coming from a mile away. It felt a bit more natural.

 

“Again.” Clint nodded in encouragement. “That was better. But you have some muscle there. Use it.”

 

We sparred for an hour. By the time I was done it felt like every bone and muscle in my body was aching. After the first few goes when I got closer to actually hitting Clint, he started to hit back. While he didn’t put a lot of force behind his hits, it was still enough to hurt. Though with every punch or block, I felt my confidence coming further out of it’s shell. Clint was a very patient teacher. He never raised his voice, scolded me or lost his patience. If I was doing something wrong he'd correct me without making me feel like a complete idiot. If something wasn’t working he’d make a suggestion about moving my body so it was more efficient. By the end, I was able to block most of his moves. But I still wasn’t quick enough to get a hit on him.

 

It wasn’t until we were done I noticed we even had company. Jared was standing to the side conversing quietly in Russian with a red headed woman. I didn’t even need to be introduced to know it was Natasha Romanoff. The woman just screamed her persona Black Widow. Clint was right about one thing, Natasha was pretty small. She would only be 5’4, with killer curves and bright red hair. She laughed at something Jared said before turning to face me. Despite her reputation for being a hardened assassin with a cold exterior, she was smiling brightly in my direction. This week was full of surprises.

 

“My turn.” Natasha looked at Clint with a terrifying grin. “Ready to get your ass kicked Barton?”

 

“No,” Clint groaned. “On so many levels, no. Nat, this is Kari since Jared is going to be rude and stand there and not do introductions.”

 

“Oh I know,” Natasha grinned wider as she turned back to me. “I’ve been watching you a lot lately, but nice to finally meet you properly Kari.”

 

Unlike everyone else, Natasha made no move to come forward and offer any other greeting. Clint leant over to me and whispered loudly.

 

“She’s Russian and had a freaky thing about people touching her, so unless you're punching her or being her favourite lounge chair don’t expect any touching.”

 

I couldn’t stop the snort of laughter that came from me. I then cringed slightly expecting a punch to come flying at me. Natasha just looked at me carefully with her grin turning into a smirk. I felt like I had just passed some kind of unspoken test with the look she gave me. 

 

“Kari, aren’t you meant to be at PT?” Jared spoke up looking at his watch like he was bored. I looked at my own watch and felt a pit of dread hit me. I was already late.

 

“Fuck yes I am,” I cringed. As long as I sprinted I wouldn’t be too late. Rumlow would still make me do push-ups until my arms fell off. “Are we still on for later Hawk?”

 

Natasha sniggered at me calling Clint the nickname I had dubbed him with. Jared looked like he was waiting for Clint to punch me and then laugh when I landed on my ass.

 

“Yep, archery range is behind the running track, its pretty secluded so I’ll just meet you outside the locker room and show you where it is,” Clint said to me before turning to Natasha. “Okay, please be nice Nat and no knives today.”

 

I took that as my dismissal and bolted from the gym. I was going to be hurting tonight, I was already tired and sore from the sparring with Clint. Throwing in a PT session was just going to be another form of torture. I made it to the oval just as the group was starting to move off for the jog. I weaved into the crowd, making my way up to my usual spot near the front hoping I wouldn’t be noticed. As usual, my luck didn’t hold up and I ended up right next to Rumlow who shot me a grim look. 

 

“Late,” he scolded instantly.

 

“Sorry,” I apologised quickly. If I tried to make excuse I’d only make matters worse. As I fell into the steady rhythm of the jogging I looked around for the now familiar face of Riley. I felt a slight stab of disappointment when I didn’t see him. I then slapped myself for feeling that. No Kari, no to STRIKE guys under any circumstances I mentally berated myself. I’d been having to tell myself that far too much lately.

 

“First mission back,” Rumlow’s voice dragged my attention back to him. “If you’re looking for Riley, he got medical clearance and is back in the field.”

 

“I wasn’t.” The lie was weak and Rumlow saw through it straight away. 

 

Riley had mentioned the night before he was hoping to get his medical clearance yesterday. I’d been at the range all day so I hadn’t seen him to find out how it went. Obviously well since he wasn’t here. I was happy for him that he got to get back to work. 

 

“Uh huh.” Rumlow gave me a knowing smirk. “Sure, I believe you. Just like I believed him when he got the medical clearance and had this tiny bit of disappointment look about him when he got put onto a mission straight away. I don’t speak Russian but it sounded a bit colourful in the locker room when he was getting ready.”

 

“Yeah well, he’s probably enjoyed sleeping in a comfortable bed and not living off the ground.” I tried to sound casual, not like I just hadn’t been caught out. I was too obvious. I needed to work on my poker face a lot more.

 

“Or he’s going to miss giving you your lift onto the chin-up bar every morning,” Rumlow couldn’t wipe the smirk off his face. I wanted to slap it off him, but after this mornings effort,s I knew I wouldn’t be able to even get close. Rumlow looked so pleased with himself right now.

 

“Ugh, don’t meddle. Remember?” I wrinkled my nose at Rumlow instead and gave into his teasing. “Seriously, don’t even go there. I don’t do relationships.”

 

We were both silent for a good while. The only sound was the sound of heavy breathing around us and quiet conversation too mumbled to hear. I liked running, I couldn’t wait until I was free from these PT sessions to be running by myself with my iPod blasting. Or hitting the gym. I’d have to start looking at some weight training programs to try and get some muscle happening like Clint suggested. YouTube and Google was about to become my best friend. 

 

“So.” Rumlow broke the silence again. “Would that be a no to passing your number onto Riley? Or me giving you his?”

 

I nearly tripped over my left foot in surprise. 

 

“Why do you ask?” I said carefully when I recovered from my near embarrassing fall. 

 

“I have his number and I figured he’s too chicken shit to ask you for yours otherwise he would have done it by now. So I’m helping him out like a good wingman should.” Rumlow looked so damn smug with himself right now.

 

“No, good wingmen get the girl drunk and then pass them off at the end of the night.” I joked to cover my embarrassment and trying to stall for an answer. Fuck I did not expect this to be happening. What’s more, I didn’t know what to do. Since my first day, I’d been good and sworn never to get involved with any STRIKE guys. There would be too many issues with working too closely together. I was pretty sure SHIELD frowned on any relationship in work anyway. I’d read something about that in my SHIELD manual. 

 

“Well, we all drink at a place called JoJo’s,” Rumlow said casually. “So I can do that when he gets back if you want to swing it that way.”

 

“Rumlow,” I groaned in protest. “Please stop meddling.”

 

“Why?” Rumlow asked this time his expression was genuinely confused. “It’s either you don’t like him or you really like him and don’t want to admit it. Come on, I’ve seen you two together every morning. And I’ve seen you leaving the office together a few times. Remember when I told you he was shy? He really is. You have no idea how hard it is for him to talk to anyone he doesn’t really know.”

 

“Or I don’t want to get caught up with working with someone I’m sleeping with,” I shot back quickly to cover my discomfort. If he was so shy he didn’t normally speak, why was I finding it so easy to have a conversation with him? “Unlike you, I can do a magical thing called read, and I’ve read all my SHIELD manuals like a good little nerd. I’m pretty sure relationships at work are a big NO.”

 

“Hey, I can read.” Rumlow faked a wounded look on his face. “I know enough to read which end of the rocker launcher says front and back.”

 

I laughed at that. Even if he was a hard taskmaster at least Rumlow had a good sense of humour. My initial reservation about him had faded ever since that night he’d dared me to skydive from the Quinjet. I had even begun to enjoy him bringing out my competitive streak.

 

“And relationships aren’t work aren’t a big no,” Rumlow continued. “It’s just you have to sign paperwork saying you won’t fight at work, no fucking in the shower and you don’t work closely together if it happens.”

 

“Just the shower?” I pretended to muse which made Rumlow chuckle.

 

“I hear the locker room is out of bounds too,” Rumlow added. “And Fury’s desk, though I’m sure there’s bets going around on who does that first without getting caught.”

 

“That is wrong on so many levels,” I grimaced at the mere thought of doing that. I wouldn’t even be able to get in the mood if I was trying to do that for fear of Fury walking in on it.

 

“So do you want Riley’s number or not?” Rumlow asked swinging the conversation directly back to where I was trying to discreetly lead away from. 

 

I bit my lip in contemplation. I did want his number but I didn’t want to admit that to Rumlow. I’d rather work up the courage myself to ask Riley out for a drink myself. This going through Rumlow just wasn’t my style. It might take me a few weeks to finally ask Riley, but at least I’d be doing it myself. 

 

“Stop trying to play coy.” Rumlow broke through my racing thoughts. “He likes you, I know that for a fact. By that look on your face, I know you do too. It’s not high school, just get his number and go have a beer for fuck sake.”

 

“I was going to ask him myself,” I admitted feeling defeated. “But fine, give me his number and please don’t make me do 100 chin-ups today.”

 

“Sweet.” Rumlow grinned at me in obvious glee. “I’ll only make you do 50 just for saying yes.”

 

“Asshole.” I grinned back at Rumlow. “I spent the morning sparring with Agent Barton so I’m sure my arms are going to fall off.”

 

“Well, aren’t you a lucky one then?” Rumlow looked surprised but didn’t elaborate any further on it. Our jog was finished and most people were already quickly dropping to do their sit ups and push ups. Rumlow jerked his head in the direction of the bars while looking at me.

 

“And since I can already see bruises coming up on you, ten and you’re done,” Rumlow said with a smile. He looked a little envious of me right now. “Barton doesn’t hold back. Lucky you to have him as a teacher. See me before you hit the shower for Riley’s number.”

 

There was no wiping the smile off my face at the rare show of mercy coming from Rumlow and the fact I had just gotten Riley’s number. This week was turning out to be pretty damn good. I did my chin ups as fast I had ever done and walked back over to Rumlow. He didn’t say anything because he was talking to someone else but handed me a piece of paper with a hastily scribbled out number on it. I didn’t bother interrupting him, I had what I wanted. 

 

The locker room was deserted and I enjoyed a hot shower for once, instead of the usual barely warm water. The technology SHIELD came up with was incredible, yet they couldn’t seem to install a decent hot water system for the showers. I was busting to hit the archery range with Clint so I got dressed quickly and threw my sweaty workout clothes back into my locker. I walked out the door and nearly straight into Coulson. I stopped myself in time from running head first into him.

 

“Good morning Sir,” I said instantly feeling a small pit of dread work its way into my stomach. Judging by the firm look on his face I felt like I was in trouble. Big trouble.

 

“Morning,” Coulson said simply. “This way please.”

 

Without another word, Coulson turned on his heel and marched off down the hallway. I sighed, following him a pace behind. There goes my feeling of it’s going to be a good day. I shuffled along behind Coulson not paying attention to where we were going. Besides the telling the elevator what floor we needed, Coulson was silent as well. My nerves only increased when I found myself outside Director Fury’s office. Without even a knock Coulson let himself in.

 

“Sit, Lyngley,” Fury ordered straight away not looking up from whatever he was doing on his desk. Without a word, Coulson left the room. I started to mentally run through a list of things I’d been doing over the last few days. There was nothing I had done to get me into enough trouble to be back in front of Fury again. Unless it was to do with shattering Clint’s arrow on the range yesterday. Shit that had to be it. I didn’t even think when I did it that it’d cause a problem. If it had been a problem why had no one said anything at the time? Jared openly used his teleporting around here so I assumed it wasn’t going to be an issue. 

 

“How are you enjoying your time here at SHIELD?” The words coming from Fury’s mouth nearly made me fall out of the chair. I was being awfully clumsy today. Here I was expecting to be chewed out big time. The pit of dread in my stomach started to slowly fade away.

 

“I’ve settled in well. Thank you, Sir,” I said carefully. 

 

“Good." Fury finally looked up from what he was doing. “Usually Agent Hill gets the say in assigning teams, but I feel like this should come from me instead.”

 

The nerves came back with a vengeance. I gulped slightly. Here it was, my fate for the next year. 

 

“Do you understand the role of a handler, Agent Lyngley?”

 

There it was. The first time anyone had ever referred to me as Agent. Technically I was still a recruit though. I couldn’t stop the small flit of childish excitement that came with that title. Though Fury’s question confused me. I knew the answer, but why he was asking me this I wouldn’t know.

 

“A handler is put with specific agents to handle all their missions closely. The agents are usually special cases or Enhanced,” I rattled off an abbreviated version of what I knew. “Their handler keeps an eye on them not only while on missions but in all aspects of their life as well. Specially trained agents can be a danger to the public and themselves if not kept a close eye on at all times.”

 

“There are only a handful of agents and teams who require handlers,” Fury added tapping his pen against the desk quietly. “Are you going to be one of them Agent Lyngley?”

 

That was a loaded question. If I said no, then I would probably end up assigned to some bullshit job. If I said yes, my life was about to get very interesting and possibly not in the best way depending on who I got lumped with.

 

“I will be whatever you require of me, Sir,” I said tactfully. It was a bit of a bullshit answer, but judging by the briefest flick of a smile on Fury’s face, it must have been the right one.

 

“The second you walk out that door, Agent Coulson is now your handler,” Fury said. “You will be assigned to STRIKE Team Delta immediately. When you aren’t on missions or training with them you’ll be carrying out the normal duties of a SHIELD pilot. Agent Barton and Romanoff will take over all of your training from now on.”

 

I must have gotten hit on the head and just dreamt the last hour of my life. I had to be still lying on the gym matt passed out cold from Clint hitting me. There’s no way Fury himself just assigned me to Natasha Romanoff and Clint Barton. 

 

“Welcome to SHIELD, Agent Lyngley.” Fury picked up a small black wallet on his desk and handed it to me. I opened it with my shaking hands to find my badge and ID placed neatly in it. I had to pinch my leg to make sure this was real. I pinched myself hard and then winced at the pain in my leg. Nope not a dream, this was very real.

 

“Dismissed, go and see Agent Coulson,” Fury turned back to his work on his desk without another word.

 

“Thank you, Sir,” I managed to stutter out. How I didn’t fall over my own feet leaving his office I will never know. When I opened the door I came face to face with Clint and Natasha both sitting across from the doorway looking bored. Natasha had her feet in Clint’s lap while they both flicked idly on their phones. At the sound of the door closing, they both looked up. 

 

“Look what I got.” I couldn’t stop the grin on my face when I opened my ID.

 

“Welcome to SHIELD Agent Lyngley.” Clint smiled at me. “Who did you get assigned to?”

 

“You,” Coulson came from around the corner with a file tucked under his arm. “You kids begged so nicely to keep her, Fury decided to let you keep another stray. Welcome to STRIKE Team Delta Agent Lyngley.”

 

“Seriously?” Clint looked at Coulson with a grin starting to appear on his face. “Thanks, Dad I like it when you let me keep the strays.”

 

Natasha shoved Clint, so hard he nearly fell off his chair. She then stood up and walked over and gave me a hug. I don’t know who was more surprised, the men watching us or me. I awkwardly returned the hug. Though it was kept really brief. I pulled back looking at Natasha and I couldn’t keep the surprise off my face

 

“I need another woman around here who isn’t terrified of me,” Natasha grinned as she explained. “And I’ve kind of been tailing you since you started. I figured the first day when you didn’t back down from Rumlow when he made you do all those chin-ups you’d be good fun. Come let's get coffee and food, you need to tell me all the embarrassing stories about Jared so I’ve got some good ammo on him. By the way, loved your work the day you sat him on his ass on the track and when you kicked Rollins in the nuts. We’ll have to go out for celebration drinks this weekend. I hear you’re shouting me drinks for pushing Rollins into the door frame.”

 

Without letting me get a word in, Natasha latched her arm through mine and started to drag me away. Her efforts were only briefly stopped by Coulson who handed me the file he had tucked under his arm.

 

“Have fun with coffee and reading,” Coulson said to me with a smile. “Barton, you and I have to talk about those mission reports you promised you were going to do last night.”

 

“Ah fuck,” Clint swore. “Yep I’m going, bring me coffee Nat. I’ll be a while.”

 

“Yeah if you’re lucky,” Natasha threw over her should as we walked down the hallway to the elevator. “So, tell me everything.”

 

****

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 27th May 2018


	8. Chapter 8

If I thought my life couldn’t get any more complicated than it just had in the last few weeks. I was wrong. Very, very, very wrong. The last thing I expected was to sit down with Natasha Romanoff over coffee. And not be killed. What was weirder was, Natasha actually liked me, even though it took a good 20 minutes for her to coax me out of my shell. I warmed up to her immediately, even if I was too shy to admit it. Being constantly surrounded by guys, having any kind of female influence in my life was sorely missed. I hadn’t realised I was even missing it until now. Jared right that we were alike. I was just glad Natasha had taken the initiative to actually talk to me. It didn’t make me any less nervous around her though.

 

Natasha had understood more than anyone else what it was like to be thrown into a life you didn’t want. You either sunk or swam. Right now, I was glad I was still keeping my head above the water. It might not be swimming, but I wasn’t dead yet. 

 

“So after having my life coordinated by everyone else for the last month, this feels weird,” I admitted stirring sugar into my third cup of coffee. Usually this time of day I was flying with Ian. I hadn’t even had a chance to speak to him. This had happened so suddenly. Sitting down doing nothing when I’d had so much crammed into me the last few weeks was a strange feeling. It was almost a bit anti-climatic. 

 

“Well, our jobs are weird,” Natasha said with a shrug shrugged. “But if we aren’t called in for missions, Clint and I get here around 0530ish to train. Beyond that, the day is anyone's guess. Sometimes we hit the range. Other times it's sitting around catching up on paperwork. Updating courses all that kind of shit. SHIELD will roster us on for certain hours, but most of the time we take whatever comes up.”

 

“Goodbye to a Monday to Fridays work week.” I smiled, not minding that in the least. “Hello, weird working hours.”

 

“It’s not so bad,” Natasha smiled with me. “It’s pretty good actually. One bonus about being the best of the best, we don’t get called in for bullshit missions. Unless we’re being punished for something. If we’ve got a job to do, it’s because there’s a situation and we’re needed. We aren't the ones doing months of slogging in the field chasing leads. We get all the cool action. If we don’t have anything else to do during the day we go home. The bad part is you never know when there’s a situation you get called in for. It could be at 2am, or in the middle of a hot date.”

 

“Anything else I need to know?” I felt as nervous now as I did on my first day. The initial excitement was starting to dwindle. Now I would be doing real missions. Not just sitting in on briefs and wondering how it all went during a spare moment. I would actually have to be taking real notes and making sure I knew every single detail about what I was doing.

 

“Plenty, but you’ll pick it up along the way.” The smirk Natasha gave me was terrifying. “So since now its official, we’re going to have to invite you to dinner at Clint’s place and you can meet his family. We’ll drag Jared along too. Let's go tell him.”

 

Natasha didn’t give me a chance to reply. She just got up, grabbed her stuff, the half full coffee and marched away from the cafeteria. I snatched my cup with the still unread files and followed her. 

 

“I love how you say tell, not ask.” I couldn’t help but laugh as I caught up with Natasha’s marching stride.

 

“Please, like I need to ask anyone to get them to do what I want.” Natasha just smirked again. “My reputation proceeds me. He’s your brother, you should know what he’s like.”

 

“You mean besides an arrogant pain in the ass?” I mused. “Oh, and conceited. He takes more time in the bathroom doing his hair than I do. If he was a girl he’d be the type that needs three hours to get ready just to show his face out the door. I swear our chromosomes got switched along the way. Jared needed to be the girl, not me.”

 

Natasha stared at me for a good few moments. I cringed thinking my mouth had just completely run off with me for no reason. As usual when I was nervous around someone my brain to mouth filter just switched off with no warning. It wasn’t until Natasha burst out laughing I relaxed slightly. Right, maybe Jared was right all those weeks ago. Natasha and I just might get along pretty well. I followed Natasha to the elevator and back to the office which currently held Jared hostage. It was only just before we made it to the office I realised something.

 

“Hey, weren’t we meant to bring Hawk coffee?” I asked looking down at my own now half drunk cup feeling guilty. I wouldn’t be here right now if it wasn’t for Clint’s insistence at the range the other day.

 

“No,” Natasha scoffed. “Call it extra punishment for him being locked up in Coulson’s office catching up on mission reports. It’s his fault we’re stuck here at the moment. There was an awesome mission in Afghanistan of a snatch and grab. Easy mission, there and back in 24 hours. But because Barton is slack, we missed out on it. But on the bright side, we got you.”

 

“Here’s hoping I don’t disappoint,” I said honestly. I really did hope that. I’d just been given a dream assignment. One that many agents would probably happy kill me over. In numerous and very creative ways. 

 

“If I thought you’d be a disappointment I wouldn’t have begged Coulson to keep you,” Natasha smiled at me. It was reassuring. Well, a little bit anyway. She kicked the door open and Jared looked up from his computer. He raised an eyebrow at Natasha. I didn’t even get a glance.

 

“Fuck off I’m busy.” Jared’s clipped tone left no room for arguments. “I’ve fucked around for three weeks doing this stuff. Now if I don’t get it done I’ll never see a day of field work again and I lost my helper.”

 

“We’re having dinner at Barton’s place.” Natasha ignored him and barrelled ahead with what she wanted to say. “It's your turn to bring the beer.”

 

“So glad you two are getting along.” Jared kept typing without looking at either of us. “Actually no, I’m a bit scared of you two being together. Why are we going to Barton’s place for dinner?”

 

“To celebrate.” Natasha gave Jared a look, clearing indicating she thought his question was the stupidest thing she had heard all day.

 

“What are we celebrating?” Jared asked sounding disinterested in the conversation. I was amazed Natasha had kept this attention for this long. If Jared had his mind set on a task it usually took a lot to get him to pay attention anywhere else. The problem was actually getting Jared to set his mind to something. 

 

Natasha looked at me, nodding her his in the direction of my pocket. I took it was my cue to throw my brand new black wallet containing my ID and badge at Jared. He caught it without looking up from the computer and gave it a quick glance. He looked like he was about to throw it back before he did a double take. His head snapped around to face me and a wide grin spread over his face.

 

“Congratulations Agent Lyngley.” Jared grinned happily at me. I couldn’t help but return the grin. “Who’d you get assigned to?”

 

“Us,” Natasha piped up. “Aren't you proud?”

 

“Not funny Tasha.” Jared rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to me. “Who did you really get assigned to?”

 

“STRIKE Team Delta,” I said smugly. “I’m being dead serious too. You said to me on my first day you expected me to be good enough to do it. And well I did. Ta da.”

 

Natasha didn’t bother holding back her laughter at my ridiculous declaration. Jared stared at me trying to work out if I was joking or not still. He looked between Natasha and I several times before he spoke again.

 

“So when you ring Mom and tell her you just got assigned to SHIELD’s top team, I need to be listening to that phone call because she’ll either be really angry or really proud,” Jared finally smiled again before getting up. He grabbed me and pulled me into a tight hug, lifting me off my feet. “I’m so proud of you Kari.”

 

“I didn’t do anything.” I hugged him back. “I’m kind of like the stray dog the kids found and had to beg Mom and Dad really nicely to have it.”

 

“Yeah but you’re our stray dog and we can teach you lots of new tricks,” Natasha joked pushing Jared off me. “Where’s my hug asshole?”

 

“You don’t get hugs.” Jared rolled his eyes but hugged Natasha anyway. “I’m always terrified that one day I’ll hug you and I’ll end up with a knife in-between my ribs.”

 

“Only if you piss me off,” Natasha’s tone left no doubt in my mind that it wouldn’t be an idle threat. 

 

“Have you rung Laura to announce that we’re coming over yet? Or are we just barging in like normal,” Jared asked sitting back down at his computer. “But yes I will bring beer and Kari. Which means I’ll even drive like a normal person.”

 

“Dibs not being designated driver,” I said instantly. Jared pulled a face realising he’d just got suckered into providing the beer and not being able to have any himself.

 

“On second thoughts, I’ll provide the beer and Kari can deal with being teleported there.”

 

Asshole.  


~ ~ ~ 

 

It was silly how nervous I felt doing something as simple as dinner at Clint’s place. He didn’t even protest when Natasha announced that it was happening. To my surprise, Coulson was invited as well. It seems Coulson was always chief dessert provider.  As we teleported to the lounge room, we were instantly set upon by two dogs.

 

“Lucy!” Jared didn’t waste any time. He opened his arms and the chocolate Labrador jumped straight up into his arms. The dogs tail wagged furiously as Jared hugged her. The second dog, a yellow looking mixed breed just sat at his feet whining furiously for Jared’s attention. I took a step back looking at my twin, more than amused. I’d forgotten how much he loved dogs. We were never allowed a pet as kids. Time at our Grandparents ranch playing with the working dogs seemed to fill that small void. But it seemed not only had Jared adopted a pet at the Barton home. He’d gotten another family as well.

 

Two kids came screaming into the lounge room right behind the dogs. They latched onto Jared, completely ignoring the dogs. The high pitched giggles and shrieks made me smile. Both the boy and girl were talking at a million miles an hour.

 

“We haven’t seen you in forever Jared.” The little girl clung to Jared’s legs.

 

“Come to the backyard, I want to show you that kick you and Aunty Nat showed me,” the boy tugged on Jared’s hand to get his attention. I couldn’t help myself. I quickly pulled my phone out and snapped a picture. With a huge Labrador over his shoulder, now licking his ear, and two kids attached to him it was pretty adorable. I sent the photo to Mom, knowing she’d love it.

 

“Hang on kids,” Jared laughed and put the dog down, not before bending over and scratching the other one behind the ears. “Lila, Cooper, this is my sister Kari, she just moved here to work with your Dad.”

 

Two sets of eyes swivelled towards me. Not a second later I found myself with a small brown haired girl attached to my legs. She gazed up at me in awe and fascination with her massive blue eyes. I normally didn’t like children, at all. But little Lila Barton was absolutely adorable. 

 

“Can you teleport too?” Lila asked tugging at my shirt as if I wasn’t already paying enough attention to her. “And set things on fire. Dad thinks its funny when Jared does that, but Mom gets mad. Can you teleport me somewhere?”

 

The questions were fired at me so rapidly I found myself a bit lost. I looked at Jared who was too busy wrestling with Cooper to give me any attention. Or help.

 

“No, I can make ice though,” I said carefully. “Do you want to see?”

 

Lila nodded enthusiastically letting go of my legs. I crouched down to her height and held my hand out with my palm facing upwards. I couldn’t do any complicated shapes, but a snowman was nice and easy for me to conjure. It was cute as well. Lila took the snowman from my hand with a giggle and raced back towards where ever she had come from. Cooper abandoned his wrestling with Jared and chased after her.

 

“Jared, this lady needs a beer,” an unfamiliar voice called out from further down the house. “Get your butt in here.”

 

“Butt counts towards the swear jar,” Jared called back. But he picked the carton of Corona’s up and walked through the house. I followed him cautiously trying to take in everything around me.

 

Clint’s house was really nice. Older, but still large and spacious. The lounge room opened into a hallway and straight across from that was the kitchen and dining room. To the end of the hallway was a set of stairs leading to whatever was upstairs. Jared walked into the kitchen and put the beer straight in the fridge. Not before grabbing three out and handing one to the petite brunette checking something in the oven. As she stood up I got my first look at Clint’s wife. 

 

Lila certainly took after her Mom. Big brown eyes looked up at me, with a friendly smile pulling on her face. Her brown hair was done up in a messy bun.

 

“At long last, we get to meet the normal twin.” Laura smiled before pulling me into a hug. “I’ve heard so much about you. Glad you could come around. Don’t mind the insanity.”

 

“Thanks for having me,” I tried not to sound too nervous as I return the hug feeling awkward. It was a strange feeling having all those people knowing me. 

 

“Beer, now bitch,” Natasha sauntered into the kitchen looking at Jared expectedly. Jared just sighed, popping the lid off, he handed one of them over. Natasha took it without another word and pulled a chair out from the table. Jared handed the last beer to me before going back to the fridge for another one.

 

“Swear jar,” Laura said instantly before turning back to me. “We had to make a swear jar in this house because between those three, the kids have learnt to swear in several languages. So it’s a dollar in that jar. Even if it’s in another language. Trust me, Lila will call you out on it.”

 

“What’s the money going towards this time?” Jared pulled a 5 gallon jar off the fridge. It was stuffed near full with one dollar notes. I raised an eyebrow at the amount of money collected in it. Something told me I’d be contributing towards that jar a lot. My language was terrible, even when I tried by best to clean it up. I stood off to the side watching how comfortable both Natasha and Jared were here in the kitchen with Laura. 

 

“Depends who you ask,” Laura said taking a drink of beer. “Lila said a pony, Cooper wants a trip to Disneyland.”

 

“And I want a Camaro,” Clint announced as he walked into the kitchen, planting a kiss on Laura’s cheek. He walked to the fridge and pulled out another beer before jumping up to sit on the counter. With a glare from Laura, he quickly dropped off it. I smothered my laugh by taking a drink of beer.

 

“Yeah we’re not buying an early mid-life crisis car for you,” Laura said dryly. “Just as much as Lila isn’t getting a pony.”

 

Any reply was interrupted by the dogs running into the kitchen barking loudly. Closely followed behind was Cooper, he skidded along the floor before looking up at me excitedly.

 

“Aunty Kari!” He said breathlessly. I recoiled at the use of being called an Aunt already. I’d only been here for 5 minutes. “Do you like The Incredibles?”

 

I looked at Jared to see if I’d been set up. His face gave nothing away so I turned back to Cooper.

 

“It’s my favourite movie,” I said carefully. “Why?”

 

“Catch!” Cooper said gleefully. Lila appeared from behind him and spat out a mouthful of water in a steady stream. I quickly froze the offending mouthful of water and dove to catch it before it hit the ground. Right like a scene straight from The Incredibles. I couldn’t stop laughing as I lay on the floor, with a small icicle in my hand. 

 

“You like it better when it shatters?” I laughed feeling triumphant at how quickly I’d acted. Behind me, everyone else was laughing as well. I climbed back to my feet and handed the icicle over to Lila. Cooper had a small pout on his face. 

 

“I told you so,” Lila said smugly crossing her arms.

 

“Nice catch there,” Clint spoke up first still laughing. “All right you two go clean up for dinner. Dogs outside, please. Lucky, Lucy, out.”

 

The dogs scampered off obediently and both of the kids went in the opposite direction. I could feel myself start to relax. I caught Jared giving me a small smug look out of the corner of my eye. I feel like I had just passed yet another unspoken test. 

 

“Well, aren’t you just the coolest new Aunty?” Laura grinned at me. Everyone else groaned at her terrible pun.

 

“What, you haven’t destroyed the place yet?” Coulson asked walking in, balancing a covered pie dish in his hand. “Honey I’m home.”

 

“Hello Dear, how were the children today?” Laura laughed as Coulson lent over and kissed her cheek as well. 

 

“Painful,” Coulson joked, giving me a small wink. I relaxed even further at the light hearted mood in the now crowded kitchen. I’d only been here ten minutes and I could full understand why Jared would spend his holidays here. I was the stranger here, yet Laura had instantly stepped up and made me feel welcome. It didn’t hurt that both the kids were adorable either. 

 

“So have we been through the house rules yet?” Coulson asked. “Or do we need to laminate them on the fridge again.”

 

I didn’t miss the guilty look shared between Natasha, Jared and Clint. 

 

“Swear jar is $1, getting caught drinking from any container out of the fridge is $2 and your stuck on Lila Disney movie singalong for a week.” Laura lent back against the cupboards smiling sweetly at me. 

 

“I don’t think that’s punishment for Kari,” Jared snickered. “She loves Disney.”

 

“Says the person who can recite Lilo and Stitch off the top of his head,” I teased Jared.

 

“And where did I get that from?” Jared’s head rolled around lazily until he was looking at Natasha. 

 

“There is nothing wrong with Lilo and Stitch,” Natasha said defensively.

 

“Or The Incredibles it seems,” Clint turned to me with his own teasing tone.

 

“No weapons, of any kind at the table,” Coulson interrupted the bantering before it could get fully started. “That includes guns, bows, knives and powers.”

 

The last bit was aimed right at Jared and I. I took a drink from my beer trying to look innocent. Jared covered his mouth trying to unsuccessfully hide his laugh. I had no doubt a lot of childhood stories have been shared around the dinner table here. I know I never lived it down when I froze the entire Thanksgiving dinner one year when I was about 10. My cousin Alex, who could create a force field, in simple terms, had been teasing me and I tried to freeze his drink. My anger had gotten a bit out of control and I’d frozen the entire table. It still got brought up every single Thanksgiving I went to the ranch.

 

“No cleaning weapons of any kind inside,” Laura continued. “No one gets maimed or killed in bedtime stories. And Jared I swear the next time Cooper’s teachers have to come and asked me where he learnt phrases in some weird African dialect you will never be able to have your own kids.”

 

“It was Swahili,” Jared pointed out. “It’s not like it was Chichewa or something really obscure. It wasn’t even swearing.”

 

“You don’t speak Chichewa,” I laughed at Jared. Out of the two of us, he was the much better linguist. I’d lost count of the languages he could speak over the years. While he wasn’t fluent in everything, he could manage everyday conversations in a lot of languages. It didn’t surprise me in the least he’d been teaching Clint’s kids something obscure. We did the same thing by learning Icelandic as children. 

 

“Shush, you only speak four languages.” Jared waved his hand at me dismissively. “Your opinion doesn’t count.” 

 

“I love this, you ONLY speak four languages.” Laura shook her head while laughing. “I can barely manage English sometimes.”

 

“You have Doctor speak,” Jared argued with Laura. “That’s like an entirely new language with lots of big words.”

 

“I’ll give you big words,” Laura threatened playfully. “Someone has to patch you idiots up when you get shot and broken.”

 

That jogged my memory about my conversation with Clint at the range. He’d said back then Laura was an ER doctor. I hadn’t gotten around to reading any of the files Coulson gave me today. Not that there’d be anything in there about Clint’s family. Natasha had been very adamant about dragging me around the Triskelion and talking after our visit to Jared. My locker had been relocated into Operations. SHIELD kept most of its workers in their separate divisions. So STRIKE had an entire locker room to themselves. Being the only two female members of STRIKE, it meant Natasha and I got an entire bathroom to ourselves. It was a bit weird to be walking in there with half-naked guys after the Air Force was so strict on keeping everything separate. No one gave Natasha or I a second glance as she walked through there. I was proud and a bit scared to have my very own locker, with my name on it as well. Having my name on things made everything seem so much more official now.

 

Dinner was crazy and amazing all at the same time. Laura explained she was on day’s off at the moment which is why we actually got real food instead of pizza. It was the best spaghetti bolognese I’d ever had. After nearly a month solid of takeaway, home cooked food was very welcome. I didn’t even have the usual embarrassment of eating more than anyone else at the table. Both Clint and Natasha had polished off bigger servings than mine and were halfway through seconds before I got more.

 

“I hate to think what your appetite is going to be like when you start training like them.” Laura watched me in amusement as I got through my second serving. “The front door and fridge are always open here Kari. Please don’t tell me you two have been living on takeout for the last month?”

 

“I cooked three times,” Jared protested.

 

“Once,” I corrected him. 

 

Jared was about to make a snappy comeback but his phone cut him off. He fished it out of his pocket and looked at the screen. I didn’t miss the excitement lighting his face up.

 

“What have you got for me, Maria?” Jared grinned as he answered the call. He mouthed excuse me before standing up and leaving the room. I watched his retreating back with apprehension. I’d gotten used to having him around this last month. I was hoping to have him as my safety net at least for another few days until I got settled with Natasha and Clint. 

 

“Don’t look so abandoned Kari,” Clint laughed, making me bring my eyes back to the table. “I promise we’ll look after you if Jared is going away.”

 

“And if they don’t, I will,” Laura put in helpfully. 

 

“Sorry.” I apologised. I felt my ears turn red with embarrassment. “This is all still a bit weird.”

 

“Weird is our job,” Natasha said reassuringly. “Trust me, you’ll start to learn to appreciate weird.”

 

“And if they get too weird, my apartment is always open,” Coulson put in. “I only have one rule. Don't touch my collectable Captain America memorabilia. I have no hesitation in breaking fingers when things are touched.”

 

“So if I steal Captain America’s drawing book which Gram’s has tucked away will that score me brownie points?” I perked up at the mention of Coulson’s collection. This might work in my favour a little.

 

“That will score you an entire decade of brownie points,” Coulson looked excited. “Are you serious she has that?”

 

“Yep, it’s in the trunk in the attic with her old SSR stuff.” I smiled at Coulson’s excitement. “I’ll just bring the entire damn trunk. I’m sure she won’t miss it and if she does, I’m her favourite grandchild.”

 

That made everyone laugh. I felt myself relaxing even more in the lighthearted mood around the table.

 

“Suddenly, I’m very glad I said yes to keeping you,” Coulson laughed. “Any chance she’s got some trading cards?”

 

“I love you so much Maria, you’ve made my day,” Jared walked back into the kitchen, interrupting our conversation. He hung from his phone call and turned to everyone. “I’ve got a mission, I’m heading to Thailand for a few weeks.”

 

“Nice time of year for it too,” Clint looked mildly jealous. “Have fun.”

 

“Be nice to my baby sister you two.” Jared glared at Clint and Natasha who both looked at him innocently. “I mean it. You break her, I’ll break both you of. Don’t take their shit, Kari. I’ll see everyone in a few weeks.”

 

Before anyone could say goodbye, he was gone. 

 

“So, can I bother someone for a lift home?” I asked feeling lost again.

 

“I’ll give you a lift,” Coulson offered straight away. “Since I’m guessing you’re staying the night Nat?”

 

Coulson pointed to the 4 empty beer bottles in front of Natasha. She just gave Coulson a knowing look.

 

“And this means more pie for us,” Coulson got up, grabbing empty plates as he went. I instantly shot to my feet to help only, only to be scolded. “No, you sit and be sociable. Take it as a rare chance that you don’t get suckered into either the dishes or bedtime stories.”

 

“Speaking of.” Laura looked at Lila and Cooper who were both sitting quietly finishing their dinner. They were such well-behaved children. They were quiet while the adults were talking and had perfect manners. “You two can both have dessert if you promise to go to bed straight afterwards with no arguments.”

 

“Can Aunty Kari read my bedtime story?” Lila looked over at me with a pleading expression on her face. “Please, Mom?”

 

“Kari?” Laura turned to me trying to hide her smile. “Is that all right with you?”

 

“Fine with me.” I was already going to say yes to Lila. She was wrapping me around her little finger without much effort at all. “No killing or maiming people right?”

 

“Or poisoning,” Lila piped up helpfully with a big smile spreading across her face. “Or tying to a chair with metal spikes in legs.”

 

“Enough Lila,” Clint quickly cut in looking guilty, not before he got a sharp look from Laura. “Kari gets the point. Find one of your story books for Kari to read while we dish up dessert.”

 

“Make it Disney.” I winked at Lila. If her smile was big before, it was beaming now. Yep, I was totally wrapped around her little finger. 

 

“Sucker,” Laura laughed. “She’ll never leave you alone now.”

 

I found myself not minding the idea of that at all. I felt like I could feel comfortable here and fit in. If that meant unleashing my inner three year old and singing along to Disney to help out, I could even enjoy that. My discomfort about Jared disappearing so quickly slowly faded to the back of my mind.

 

“So Kari, we need to hear embarrassing stories about Jared,” Clint said. “He’s given us enough stories of you. So it’s his turn now.”

 

“Well, I think that might have to wait until after bedtime,” I smirked thinking of all the stories I could quite happily spread about Jared. After all, I did have to get some kind of payback after him telling Clint about the stripper incident. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 28th May 2018


	9. Chapter 9

The deep end wouldn't quite describe what I'd just got thrown into. After Coulson dropped me home after dinner I got stuck into reading Clint and Natasha's files. If I thought my home life was interesting as a child, it had nothing on those two.

Clint's file had surprised me the most. Drunk and abusive Father, orphaned at six and spent the next few years bouncing around in foster homes with his brother. They had both run to Carson's Carnival of Travelling Wonders. Clint had trained under a man only named Trick Shot. Betrayed by his brother and another man by the name of the Swordsman at 15. Clint had bounced around committing petty crime for a year before moving onto being an assassin at the tender age of 16. Coulson had been the one to catch and recruit him into SHIELD.

Clint wasn't kidding when he said SHIELD had recruited him young. The other piece of surprising news was that Clint was deaf. He had been for years. The cause of it from a mission was redacted so I didn't know how it'd actually happened. I'd just have to either ask Clint or mind my own business. He was 80% deaf in both ears, but knew ASL and could lip read. Another thing I was going to have to learn.

I'd heard snippets of Natasha's past in passing conversation from Jared. She was raised in the Red Room, a KGB child soldier program. I glossed over a lot of those details, it was very intense. I didn't know how comfortable I felt knowing everything the Red Room had put her through. It was no wonder she came across as a cold-hearted killer. If I had gone through even a quarter of she had done, I would be too. Natasha was only 6 months older than me. She was another one who was very young when SHIELD brought her in. She was only 17.

With the new knowledge of my new team, I threw myself into training the next morning with renewed vigour. If they could both pull through and become the good people they now are after everything that had happened in their lives, I could suck it up and deal with the hand that got dealt to me. It was three days after dinner and we'd all just finished in the gym for the morning when Clint pulled Natasha and me into a small room. I was aching all over and covered in bruises yet again.

"So," Clint started as he pulled out his chair and sat down. "We're going to play a get to know each other game."

"Why does this sound utterly terrifying and not fun at all?" I mused as I sat down as well. Natasha plonked down next to me with a barely contained snort of laughter.

"Oh, it'll be fun." Clint's grin was terrifying and not reassuring at all. "Trust me, Nat and I did this when she first joined SHIELD. Well, when she decided she would stop trying to kill me that is."

"Right," I said in disbelief picking at my fingernails nervously.

This was a new form of torture that I wasn't sure I was going to enjoy. I'd been training my ass off every morning. Clint would help me, then throw me to Natasha's mercy. Or lack of. It's amazing how quickly you learnt to block when someone just came at you. I'd made more progress in the last four days than I had in nearly a month. I wasn't afraid to put some power behind my moves now. Natasha didn't hold back, so I was learning not to either. It was kind of fun in a very sadistic way. After sparring we'd been hitting the archery range and Clint was improving my archery skills. I thought I was good until he started showing me an entirely different way of shooting. When I felt like I knew nothing about archery at all, he'd given me a much heavier draw weight. My usual easy 40 pound draw now got pushed up to 80 pounds. When I tried to argue about it Clint smirked and told me if I couldn't handle it after a week he'd give my 40 pounder back. There was no way in hell I was going to touch that 40 pound bow again. Clint's training bow was a whopping 120 pound draw weight. I couldn't even pull it back. To counter the effort I started doing weights in the gym as well. My body had never ached so much in my life. Ice, aspirin and Epsom salt baths were my new best friends. I wouldn't admit it but I was loving every second of it. Natasha and Clint had both made me feel more than welcome into their very private lives. I thought I'd be missing Jared since he was still away. But I was too busy to really notice his absence.

Clint pulled out an unlabeled bottle and put it on the table.

"So this is SHIELD version of truth serum," he explained, his boyish grin growing even wider. "It's basically a nice big cocktail of drugs that makes you spill your deepest and darkest secrets."

"I don't have any deep or dark secrets." I rolled my eyes. "After all, at least you knew I was reading your files. I didn't go looking you up like a stalker."

"I wasn't stalking you," Clint protested. "Coulson simply left your file out on his desk. Probably on purpose because he knew I'd read it. Come on Kari, don't be boring. This would be part of your interrogation training. It's better than the usual stuff."

Don't be boring. I was getting told that a few times a day now. Don't be boring Kari, it'll be fun trying to shoot three arrows in a row. Don't be boring Kari, it'll be fun to let me throw knives at you. At least Natasha's aim was as impeccable as Clint's.

"And we can embarrass you so much you'll never worry about what you're saying to us," Natasha put in as well. She kicked me under the table and I had to stop myself rubbing it and flinching. My pain tolerance levels were going to be crazy by the time these two were done with me.

"I'm just your pilot." I pulled a face at Natasha. "Despite the fact you two keep trying to turn me into T-1000."

"You love it," Natasha smirked. "Just like you love us."

"Someone has to," I smirked back at Natasha. That was another thing I was getting used to. Natasha and her smug attitude. I found if I just copied her it was easier to roll along with it. However the more I did it, the more I began to think Natasha's words were starting to come out of my mouth now. Clint rolled his eyes at our bantering.

"Anyway you two," he cut in quickly. "Who wants to go first?"

"There is no way in hell I'm going first," I said instantly. "I keep getting the feeling you two are going to make me do stupid shit as some freaky SHIELD hazing and it'll end up in that fucking SHIELD Recruit Tip book."

"I'm hurt that you don't trust me." Clint faked a hurt look with a massive pout. "Fine, I'll go first."

Clint pulled out was basically looked like a fancier version of an Epipen in a gun form. He drew from the bottle and then quickly reached over and stabbed Natasha in the arm.

"Ow, fucking…" Natasha trailed off and reached over the table, punching Clint in the arm. "That hurt fucker."

"So did that," Clint laughed, rubbing his arm. He didn't even wince when Natasha landed the blow. "That stuff works quickly too."

"Of course it works quickly, it's the good shit," Natasha said back with a fair bit of bite.  
"I'm doing you."

Before Clint could react Natasha had grabbed the bottle and the dispenser. She drew up a shot and Clint cringed turning away. Natasha stabbed him in the arm with a lot more force than necessary. Clint mouthed ow and rubbed his arm

"I really hope that hurt," Natasha said bluntly before drawing up another one. "Because mine still does. I hate it when you do stuff like that."

"See you aren't as tough as you think you are," Clint teased Natasha. "But yeah, that fucking hurts."

I looked at the two with a cocked eyebrow. Neither of them would admit something hurt even if an arm was hanging off. I figured that small piece of information about both of them pretty quickly. The only thing I'd seen drop Clint was the swift kick in the groin Natasha had delivered yesterday morning when he tormented her about losing. Natasha had just been hanging on by a thread in not being taken down in sparring and she quickly turned it around. Lesson 105, if I was keeping count, Natasha didn't have any problems at all with playing dirty to win.

"Your turn." Natasha didn't give me a chance to react before she jabbed it into my thigh. I let out an undignified yelp and glared at her. This time I didn't resist rubbing the offending hurt area.

"Bully," I grumbled still rubbing my leg. I didn't feel any different. For all I know they could be injecting me with saline and waiting for the placebo effect to kick in. I sat there looking between them again tapping my fingers on the desk.

"So?" I trailed off when a sudden drunk feeling hit me. I blinked rapidly and put both my hands flat on the table to steady myself. Right, that definitely wasn't saline.

"Favourite colour?" Clint asked.

"Blue," I said instantly, without even thinking. I always had problems with a brain to mouth filter, this was going to be an all new level of crazy.

"Green," Natasha said just a second after me.

"Purple."

"Like what kind of purple?" I asked Clint, surprised at his choice of colour. I imagined him to be a blue man for some reason.

"Really dark eggplant purple, not like lilac or any other shitty light purple," Clint pulled a face at me. "Stop looking at me like that. Dark purple is manly. It's not like I run around dressed in purple spandex."

I giggled and Natasha rolled her eyes.

"What do you really think about me being on the team?" I asked quickly before anyone else could ask a question. While we were being honest, why not get an answer that wasn't going to be any bullshit. Not that Clint or Natasha would ever give me a bullshit answer. They were both brutally honest.

"You're fucking awesome." Clint shoot me a big grin. "I'm scared of you and Nat together. You two are almost like little clones of each other."

"I love you." Natasha snickered. "It's nice having another girl. Especially one who doesn't take any shit from anyone. I think it was true love when I heard about you kicking Rollins in the balls. Made my week."

"My turn," Clint said again quickly. He was looking a bit unsteady in his seat, unlike Natasha who hadn't changed at all. "So have you found a crush yet?"

Clint's teasing tone made me instantly blush. I couldn't stop the words spewing out.

"Riley, I met him on the first day but I haven't had the balls to text him yet," I clapped my hand over my mouth trying to stop myself. It just made me break down into an embarrassed giggle. I could feel the blush all over my face, even my ears. I'd been staring at his number I'd put into my phone for the last few days. Every time I went to open a message to send him something I'd chicken out. It was a bit pathetic. I hadn't seen him either making it even worse. I really wanted to have that beer with him.

"Riley?" Clint looked at Natasha for confirmation.

"STRIKE Team Bravo, brown hair, really green eyes, top marksman," Natasha elaborated for Clint.

"Oh, the SEAL sniper guy," Clint nodded as it clicked on who we were talking about. "He's a fucking awesome shot, nearly as good as yours truly."

"He's really nice. Stop being a pussy and text him." Natasha turned back to me. "You've got nothing to lose with that one."

"Gah I know," I groaned. "I don't do relationships, fuck buddies are so much easier. He seems too nice for me. I'm horrible, I'll stomp his heart to pieces and he's been way too nice to me for that. Why am I such a dick when it comes to relationships?"

"Because you're Jared twin that's why," Clint said with a laugh. "I don't know how he does it, but he has like an entire harem to choose from. I'm envious."

"That's because he's hot," Natasha giggled lightly. "So very hot."

"So everyone keeps telling me," I giggled with her. "And here I am who can't even get a fuck buddy."

"I think your hot and I'd fuck you if I wasn't married," Clint grinned at me. Then he cringed at what he just said. "Fuck this stuff is bad."

I laughed at Clint's honest statement. I was going to reply but Natasha beat me to it.

"We should do a porno, just me and Kari," Natasha's banged her hands down on the table in excitement. "Then sell it for $10 a copy, we'd all be millionaires in a week and can retire."

"I will do just about anything with enough scotch in me," my laughter was edging on slightly hysterical at Natasha's statement. "Awesome plan though."

"I'm filming this!" Clint stuck his hand up as if he was volunteering to cause all of us to break down into stupid laughter. "That'd be hot."

"I'm sure Laura would object," I said through my laughter.

"Nah, she'd probably want to join in, which I will not complain about at all," Clint grinned looking like he was enjoying the mental image of that. "Fuck why is it that everything always ends up being about sex?"

"Because you have a dirty mind that's why," Natasha pointed out. "All right Kari, we're going to be serious for a second."

Natasha had to stop for a second. A bubble of laughter came from her again which she quickly clapped over her mouth to stop. Maybe they should have called this stuff laughing serum. We'd done more laughing than spilling deep, dark secrets. Clearing her throat she smoothed her face back into a calm facade. I was envious how she could do that. I had the worst poker face ever.

"Worst fear?"

"Being raped," I blurted out before I could stop it. I cringed thinking how stupid it probably sounded sitting next to two of SHIELD top agents. They both probably had a very real fear of something serious. After my incident at the bar a few weeks ago, it'd played on my mind more than once what would have happened if one of those guys had managed to successfully drag me away.

"Yep can totally understand you on that one." Natasha shuddered before shaking her head. As if she was clearing a bad memory. "Mine is drowning. Makes being waterboarded a new level of hell."

"My Dad," Clint said quietly looking away. "Even though he's been dead, that fucker still haunts me."

I had nothing to say at all to Clint for his quiet statement. I didn't have to, Clint kept speaking turning back to look at me. The serious expression on his face made me feel a little bit soberer.

"I'll tell you now what I've told Nat and Coulson if you ever see me with a bottle of Jack Daniels in my hand just shoot me. No questions asked. If that ever happens I'm too far gone to save."

"How many people have you guys killed? I can't even imagine doing it consciously." My question fell out of my mouth. I knew it'd come from what Clint had just said. That statement scared the hell out of me.

"Officially 211 hits for SHIELD," Clint said instantly. "Unofficially, well I lost count and that's not bragging either. It was getting over the 500 mark anyway. SHIELD barely knew half the shit I did before I got recruited."

"Wow," all I could do was blink at the man before me. "Yeah, that's crazy."

"Pre SHIELD, mine was near the 100 mark. I only got put on very specific marks," Natasha went next with a small shrug. "SHIELD count is 198, unofficially I don't want to know. It'd be a lot."

"You guys must get tangled up in some nasty shit." I couldn't help but pick at my fingernails in my discomfort. That was a stupid question I let slip out.

"Yep and you're going to find out all about that very soon," Clint chuckled, oblivious to my discomfort. "Don't even think you're going to get the easy job sitting in the Quinjet keeping the engine running waiting for us. You'll be dragged into our crazy messes as well."

"Which I am terrified about." I cringed at those words slipping out but I didn't stop. Fucking truth serum. "I mean, what good am I going to be? Natasha had me on my ass in two moves this morning."

"Being scared is normal," Clint started and ignored the snort of protest from Natasha. "Well, when you first start it is. It's like anything else Kari, you have to work at becoming good. I didn't get good at archery on a whim. I got good because I practised every single day until my fingers bled and I didn't think I could lift my arms for another shot. Then I kept going. Or Trick Shot beat my ass until I kept going. What did you do when you couldn't get something first go?"

"Practice my ass off until I could," I replied feeling a bit better. "I had to take music for my Junior year of high school and I'm terrible at anything to do with music. It was the only class I nearly failed, so I practised until I couldn't feel my fingers on the guitar until I could play the damn song well enough to pass. Then I kept going until it was muscle memory just to make sure I wouldn't fuck it up."

"See?" Natasha pointed out. "You're like a little clone of us already. You just need the practice behind you to be as awesome as I am."

I couldn't argue with that logic at all. I let out a jaw-cracking yawn. Suddenly I was exhausted. I could close my eyes and fall asleep right here. Right after my yawn, Clint did the exact same thing.

"I think it just wore off." Natasha was only a few seconds after Clint yawning. "Time for a nap."

"Lock the door so Coulson doesn't walk in and kill us for stealing the truth serum." Clint yawned again, putting his head in his arms on the table. Natasha got up and did as Clint asked. I rested my head in the crook of my arm feeling dead tired. A nap sounded like heaven right about now. I closed my eyes and fell asleep instantly. Between the drugs they I got jabbed with and my aching body. I was pretty happy to have a quick sleep.

After my nap, I sat at the desk staring at my phone. Natasha sat next to me, her ass on the table instead of in a chair, so I couldn't chicken out. She'd woken up first and tickled my nose with the end of my braid until I'd woken up. Now she was trying desperately to get me to send a message to Riley.

"Just write, hey whats up." Natasha nudged me with her leg. "Come on stop being shy. The poor guy is probably checking his phone every three seconds wondering when he'll get something from you."

"Rumlow said he was on a mission so he might not even have his phone on him," I grumbled to procrastinate about actually writing something. "This is so much easier if you just pick someone up at a bar."

"Do it," Natasha pushed.

I kept looking at the blank screen feeling nervous. This was so pathetic.

"God Kari, just write, hey for fuck sake," Natasha said firmly. "Otherwise I'm taking your phone and doing it for you."

At Natasha's threat, I quickly typed out a message.

_Hey, it's Kari, hope you don't mind I got your number from Rumlow. Wanna grab a beer?_

I squeezed my eyes shut and quickly hit send before I completely chickened out.

"I sound so desperate," I groaned as I read what I wrote. "He's going to not reply and avoid me for the rest of my life here at SHIELD."

My phone lit up and chimed as a reply came through less than 30 seconds later. This time I did chicken out and threw my phone at Natasha.

"Nope, I can't read it." I covered my face with my hands. "What if he just totally rejected me?"

"You are such a wimp," Natasha laughed. I kept my eyes covered and could only hear the sound of Natasha unlocking my phone. "So what if he didn't reject you?"

"Gimme." I instantly reached over and snatched my phone back from Natasha. It took me a few goes of reading and rereading the text for it to actually sink into my head.

_Beer sounds awesome, want to grab some dinner to go with that beer? I'm free tonight. I'm on the way home from my mission now._

"Oh holy fuck he actually replied and he said yes." I dropped my phone in my lap and let my head fall against the table. "Holy fuck, what am I going to wear? Why am I even freaking out about this?"

"Because you like him," Natasha said in a sing-song voice. "And it's funny. Pick somewhere for dinner and then decide on what to wear. If it's something fancy, ask Clint to do your make up."

"What?" I looked at Natasha like she'd just grown two heads. "I am not letting Hawk near me with eyeliner. He'd probably draw a dick on my face or something."

"No, he's really good, I swear it," Natasha laughed at me. I was getting that a lot at the moment. She pulled out her own phone and thumbed through it for a few seconds before turning it to face me. It was a photo of her blowing a kiss at the camera, Clint hanging over her shoulder pulling a face. She looked gorgeous, as always. The makeup was subtle but it made all her features stand out the right way. If I hadn't of known any better I'd say that was a professional make up job.

"Are you serious he did that?" I looked back at her in surprise.

"Yep," Natasha popped the P on the end of the word. "He can do hair too. And cook really well. He should have been gay. Pester him to cook stir fry, you'll love me for it."

I laughed shaking my head. Clint sure was full of surprises. I looked over at his still sleeping body, head resting in his arms. The light snores gave it away that he was still passed out. I looked down at my phone again, biting my lip thinking of a reply to Riley.

_Dinner sounds awesome. I'm not fussy and I don't know anywhere around here so your pick._

I showed the message to Natasha who nodded in approval before hitting send.

"You know we could just stalk him and see where he is right now," Natasha suggested.

I tried not to look so surprised at the casual suggestion. I was going to have to get used to stuff like that very regularly now. If I thought living with Jared was interesting enough, this was going to be insane. A very good insane though. I have no idea how my life seemed to be working in my favour for once, but I wasn't going to fight it. I was going to embrace this, hard, and run with it. And any other corny saying I could think of.

"If he's in the shower, I'll turn invisible and take a camera in with me," I joked, not being able to smother my giggle. "Get some photos, use them as bribery."

"I am all in for that, there are a few guys I'd be very happy to see naked," Natasha nodded vigorously. "So you can seriously do that?"

"Yep, seriously," I suddenly grinned in excitement. "And I can't get into trouble for it here either. Win win for everyone."

"And you'll be the favourite person at keg parties when someone brings a warm keg," Natasha grinned back at me.

"Riley said the same thing one day," I laughed, remembering back to the day I'd throw a ball of ice at Jared. "Keg parties sound dangerous."

"Keg parties are awesome and wild," Natasha gave me that smug little smirk of hers. "Hopefully someone will organise one soon. It's a rite of passage for Operations. Expect to get completely plastered and end up throwing up in the gutter somewhere. Oh, and there'll be plenty of photos of it too."

"The only time I've been completely hammered and thrown up was my 21st birthday." I cringed at the memory. I was all for having a few drinks and enjoying myself. But I never usually drank myself into a stupor. I could count the number of hangovers I'd had on one hand.

"Right we're going to fix that," Natasha looked at me in surprise. I regretted my words immediately. "Barton wake up."

Natasha took off her sneaker and threw it at him. It hit him in the head and made Clint nearly jump out of his seat. He looked around in confusion, sleep still clouding his face.

"Wha?" he said unintelligently rubbing his face. "Sorry what? English not working in brain."

"Kari has only been so drunk she's thrown up once, we need to fix this," Natasha said reaching over the table and picking up her sneaker, moving it out of Clint's reach. "Friday night we should make it a tequila and beer pong night."

"You two are utterly terrifying." I looked between them. "I have never drunk tequila."

As soon as those words left my mouth I knew this was going to be bad. The look that Natasha and Clint exchanged was about to get me into a lot of trouble. I quickly held up my phone in defence.

"Whatever you two are planning, not tonight! I have a date."

As if to prove my point a text came through on my phone. Trying not to grin like a complete idiot, I opened the message.

_So I felt really rude for turning down Indian the other night. Do you want to grab Indian and we can go for a drive and eat dinner out? If not that's cool, let me know where you want to go._

"He sounds nervous," Clint chuckled as I showed them both the message. "What was his excuse for the other night? And how did it even come up?"

"He Skype's with his Mom every Wednesday when he's not at work," I explained. "Said he doesn't like missing it because he never knows when he'll get to talk to her again. He's been working with Jared on light duties in the office and he was finished early so he dropped me home. Jared said he wanted Indian and I asked him if he wanted to come up as well."

"Aww." Natasha smiled looking a bit smitten herself. "That's so damn sweet."

"Which is why I don't know if this is a good idea," I said, biting my lip looking at my phone again. "I don't even know how to do this whole dating thing."

"Then don't look at it like it's dating," Clint suggested. "Just act like your friends and hanging out. If he's been working with Jared then you've been spending a bit of time with him?"

"Yeah and during PT in the mornings."

"Then just keep going with whatever you've been doing," Clint continued. "Don't make a big deal out of it."

"Great." I chewed on the inside of my lip before another wave of dread hit me. "Fuck, now I am being serious on about what am I going to wear?"

"That all depends," Clint looked at me seriously.

"What on?" I asked, eager for some male insight.

"Whether you want to get laid tonight or not."

This time it was me throwing Natasha's sneaker at him.

With mostly Natasha's help, and some very unhelpful advice thrown in from Clint. I was dressed casually in dark, tight jeans with my favourite wedge ankle high black boots. I'd thrown the light blue semi sheer tank top back in the cupboard before Clint fished it out saying it looked cute. Natasha had agreed and I reluctantly put it on. It was the start of Autumn now with a slight chill in the wind. So I threw my biker chic leather jacket over the top of it all. I liked having nice things, that extended to both clothes and shoes. Natasha was eyeing off my shoe collection with a gleeful grin. I didn't doubt I'd be missing a few pairs of shoes soon.

Natasha and Clint had left me to get ready in peace 20 minutes before Riley was due here. I hadn't bothered with makeup. I only wore it on special occasions. Riley saw me sweaty and red faced after PT every morning so I doubted he was going to care about my lack of makeup. I was halfway through straightening my hair when a text came through from Riley.

_Sorry I'm early, do you want me to wait out here?_

My nerves increased reading that message. At least I was dressed. My hair would only take another few minutes.

_All good, come up. Security code for both the garage and elevator is 5498. 5th floor, it's the door directly across from the elevator. It's unlocked._

I yanked my GHD through my hair a little harder than before. It didn't have to be a perfect straightening job. Just enough so it didn't resemble a frizzy mess since I washed it last night before going to bed and didn't bother drying it off. Having it up in a braid all day had done nothing for it. My speed only increased when I heard the front door open and then close quietly.

"I'm just wrestling with my hair," I called out. "Gimme like 2 minutes."

"All good," Riley called back.

I did a quick job on the rest of my hair. I judged it critically in the mirror. Dammit, it just wasn't sitting as well as I wanted it to. I yanked it back into a messy bun which I hoped just looked casual. I took a deep breath and walked out into the lounge room. Instead of sitting on the couch like I half expected him to, Riley was over at the wall where Jared insisted we put the photos up. Like me, Jared a small obsession with taking a lot of photos. I had nowhere else to put mine, so we ended up making a photo wall. Some were hung in frames, others just stuck on the wall in one big collage. Riley had one of the photos in a frame in his hands, smiling down at it. At the sound of me coming out, he held it up for me to see.

"You look hot in uniform," Riley said with a smile. It was my graduation photo when I was finished fighter training school. I was standing in the middle, Jared and Dad on my left, Mom on my right. I don't think I'd ever had such a big smile on my face.

"Well, now you've seen me, you'll have to show me one of you in uniform," I smiled looking at the photo. That was a good day.

"And you look gorgeous now too." Riley put the photo back on its place on the wall.

"Thanks." I couldn't stop myself from grinning at the compliment. "You look pretty good too."

Riley was dressed casually in jeans, long sleeve grey t-shirt with a jacket over the top. It wasn't much different to what I'd seen him get changed into on the way home from work. But it didn't make him look any less good.

"Ready to go?" Riley asked holding up his keys. "I hope what I've got planned is going to be ok."

"The fact you've planned something makes it more than okay."

"Well, here's hoping you like it then," Riley looked as nervous as I felt. "I already grabbed food, hope I got the right thing."

"Whatever you got will be fine, I'm not fussy at all," I smiled to reassure Riley, despite my own nerves. "So, is it a surprise where we're going?"

"A nice surprise I hope," Riley smiled back, looking a little more at ease. "Let's go."

We were both silent until we climbed into the car. It hit me suddenly that I hadn't told Riley I'd been assigned to Clint and Natasha yet. I wasn't sure the gossip would have reached his team out on their mission just yet.

"So I have some good news," I said, as we drove out of the garage. It seemed to be compulsory for STRIKE guys to have sports cars. Riley didn't break that mould. The red BMW M6 was a very nice car. "I got assigned to a team at last."

"That's awesome." Riley shot me a brief grin before turning his attention back to the road. "Who are you with?"

The gossip hadn't reached him yet. This should be interesting.

"Barton and Romanoff," I said casually. I watched out of the corner of my eye for his reaction. Riley jerked the wheel in surprise nearly sending us on the wrong side of the road. He quickly corrected the car before turning to look at me in shock.

"Are you serious?" Riley was trying his best not to gape at me. "How the hell did you manage that?"

"Remember when I said I was heading to the range?" I asked and Riley nodded. "Yeah well, Barton was there with Coulson. I was bored and shooting in a circle around the target."

I got cut off by Riley laughing.

"So I'm guessing you're more than just an all right shot?" He asked with a grin.

"I can hit a running rabbit from 50 yards away with a .22," I grinned back sheepishly. "Yeah, I can shoot decent enough."

"Why am I not surprised?" Riley was still laughing quietly. "I've seen Jared dump 30 rounds into a target, through the same hole as his first shot. He has a freakishly good aim. Sorry didn't mean to interrupt you."

"All good," What Riley said didn't surprise me in the least. Jared had always been a freakishly good shot, probably even better than me. "Anyway, Barton and Coulson were talking about me. Barton decided to shoot an arrow into my target. So I tried to hit it. Grazed the fletching, but didn't hit the entire thing. When Barton called me out on it, I just used my power to shatter it. Apparently, it impressed him."

"Yeah that sounds about right for Barton," Riley laughed again. "How'd Romanoff take it?"

"She's been tailing me a lot apparently," I said, still feeling a little embarrassed I didn't notice her at all. "That day I kicked Rollins in the nuts she decided it was true love and decided that she needed to keep me. And well, here I am."

I left out the part of her smacking Rollins into a doorway and nearly breaking his nose. I'd tried to thank Riley a few times for going to her about that. He brushed it off every single time, looking embarrassed and uncomfortable when I mentioned it. I decided now wasn't a good time to try and thank him again for it. I'd probably ruin the night if I did.

"Here you are." Riley looked very proud of my news. "I have to admit I'm not sure if I'm really impressed or really jealous that you got STRIKE Team Delta."

"When I show you my bruises from Natasha sparring with me, sorry correct Natasha beating the shit out of me until I learn to block better you might not be so jealous," I said dryly. "I've never been so sore in my life."

"Aspirin and Tiger Balm," Riley offered, giving me a sympathetic smile. "Learn to love both of them. I swear SHIELD has shares in that company. Just about everyone uses it. Well, congratulations Agent Lyngley."

"I'll remember that," I chuckled with Riley. A small part of me wanted to ask him if he could be the one rubbing the tighter balm into my aching body. I wasn't sure if we were there yet though. "Thank you. It still feels a bit weird to be called Agent Lyngley. That was always everyone else in the family, not me. I was First Lieutenant Lyngley."

"I have to admit you're an improvement on Agent Jared Lyngley," Riley said lightly ."Much easier on the eyes."

I blushed at the compliment.

"I'm sure most of the ladies at SHIELD would disagree with you there." I pointed out to cover my embarrassment. "Even Nat says he's hot. So he must be decent looking."

"Listen a bit more carefully in the locker room next time you walk in there," Riley suggested. "I swear all I've heard about since I went back to work with my team is everyone talking about is Jared's hot sister."

"It seems like everyone knows Jared." I changed the subject to get off my looks. That was embarrassing to know I was being talked about. I also kind of wanted to know how much of a reputation Jared had outside of his small circle of friends.

"Everyone does know Jared," Riley confirmed. "Or of him, its kind of hard not to know him. He teleports everywhere because he doesn't care what people think about it and he's a top Specialist. Jared is very, very good at his job. It's why he gets a lot of top missions from Fury himself. It kind of makes him stand out."

"Probably why has he his own little harem happening," I mused jokingly.

"That doesn't surprise me either," Riley shook his head, whether it was in amusement or amazement I wasn't sure. "How did you find out about it?"

"Well, part of my training today involved Nat sticking me with truth serum. Apparently, it's more fun to get to know each other when you have no brain to mouth filter."

Riley looked at me to see if I was being serious. When I didn't falter, he burst out laughing.

"That shit is so bad," Riley laughed while shaking his head. I found myself really liking the fact I'd just made Riley laugh so hard he nearly had tears in his eyes. "Right, I don't envy you in the slightest being stuck with those two crazy fuckers. I hate to think what they'll think of next."

"There was talk about me letting Natasha shoot apples off my head, while I fire arrows at Barton so he can shoot them out of the air," I said seriously before bursting out laughing. My statement made Riley laugh even harder.

"Crazy ass motherfuckers, that's all I have to say about that. We're here."

I hadn't paid any attention to where we were going. I'd been far too focused on my conversation with Riley. My nerves had disappeared entirely on the drive here. Clint was right when he said not to worry about this. All I had to do was speak to him like I had been over the last few weeks. We'd pulled up on a quiet road on top of a hill.

"Where are we?" I asked curiously as Riley parked the car next to a tree just off the road.

"You'll see in a minute." Riley looked nervous again. "I hope you like it."

"Even if I don't the company more than makes up for it," I was mentally smacking myself as soon as the words left my mouth. Real smooth Kari. At least Riley didn't seem to mind. He just gave me his adorable lopsided smile and got out of the car. Reaching behind him, Riley pulled out a picnic basket which I hadn't noticed in the back seat. My curiosity was more than piqued now. It seems he'd put in a fair bit of planning for this tonight. On short notice as well. I had my doubt again that I could make this work. I'd never had anyone go to such trouble to plan something for a date. But it's not like I had a lot of experience in dating. I'd always been too busy for relationships.

We walked up the rest of the hill together when I heard the familiar rumble of a fighter jet engine. The thrill of hearing that sound will never get old. I raced up the rest of the way to see the sight before me. We were standing looking over Andrew's Airbase. An F-16 was sitting on the runway nearly ready to take off. In the dusk sky, all the runway lights were turned on making it an impressive sight.

"I kind of looked up to see who was flying in and out tonight," Riley explained coming to stand next to me. "It's not a Raptor, but I thought watching F-16's doing touch and go runs tonight might make you happy. So I combined that with dinner and well I hope you like it."

"I love it," I said honestly. Nothing was going to wipe the silly grin I had on my face. "This is beyond awesome, thank you."

Without thinking I reached over and gave Riley a hug and kissed him on the cheek. Even in the settling dusk, I could see him blushing. I guess we were both as shy and unsure as each other.

"So, hopefully, dinner isn't too cold." Riley cleared his throat, holding the basket up. "I even remembered the beer."

Sitting on the hill watching F-16's take off and come back in for the landing was awesome. I hadn't sat down in a long time to appreciate the simple thrill of it. The fact I had Indian food and was sitting down with Riley made it even better. Night settled around us. There was just enough light being thrown off from the base to see each other.

"What gave you this idea for tonight?" I asked once we'd finished eating. I'd drawn my knees up to my chest and sat there with my chin resting on my knees. Riley was stretched out over the blanket he'd brought, leaning back on his hands.

"You were a fighter pilot, so I figured anything to do with jets was a pretty good idea," Riley explained, looking over at me with his charming smile. I tilted my head so I was now resting with my ear against my knees so I could see him better.

"Very awesome idea." I grinned. It took a bit of courage to add the next part. "I'm glad you were free tonight."

"I'm glad you finally sent me a text," Riley admitted with a short laugh. "Rumlow sent me a message telling me he'd done it. That was the first text message I got when I turned my phone back on after my mission. I drove my entire team nuts checking my phone every five seconds. I think everyone was relieved when you finally sent me that text."

"I felt very weird doing it that way," I said, laughing at Riley's story. Poor guy. At least he'd been out of phone reception the last few days. There was no waiting around for days for me to finally get the courage up to send the text. "I'm not very good at this whole dating thing. Actually, I don't remember the last time I had a boyfriend."

"You and me both. Girlfriend obviously, not a boyfriend." Riley turned to face the front again as another F-16 took off. "It's kind of hard holding down a relationship when you could be called away in an instant and not be able to tell anyone where you're going. Or how long you'll be away for."

"I find it hard to believe you've been single for long." I decided to dig a little bit deeper into this conversation. "You're hot. Everyone keeps telling me what a nice guy you are as well."

"Really?" Riley said lightly, a pleased look spreading across his face. "Last time I had a real girlfriend was probably nearly two years ago? I can't remember to be honest. She wasn't SHIELD which made everything 100 times more complicated. In the end, we both decided it was for the best we split up."

"So does that mean two years without sex?" I teased gently.

"No," Riley laughed and shook his head. "Sorry to disappoint, but I'm still a guy. Though it is getting to the point where I'm really hoping I don't embarrass myself the next time I see a girl naked. What about you? No trail of broken hearts wanting to follow you from Langley Base?"

"Hell no," I laughed as well. "I had one guy on the side a few months ago but he wasn't interested in a relationship, neither was I. Not with him anyway. Same kind of thing too. I ended up away a lot without much notice and I worked some crazy hours some weeks. He didn't particularly like coming second best to my job."

"Well, his loss," Riley turned back to me with a shy smile. "Can't say I was too upset to hear you were single."

"Likewise," I smiled back. I could feel my heart beating faster at his words. The more we spoke the more I found myself really not wanting to screw this up. For once I'd found someone I actually liked and could see myself actually trying to have a relationship. I really hoped I didn't break his heart in the process, or mine.

"So what are your plans for the rest of the week?" Riley asked before the silence stretched into something uncomfortable.

"Beyond avoiding dying every morning?" I mentally cringed at what tomorrow would bring. My body ached thinking about my morning workout. "I have no idea. Barton said something about hitting the range sometime this week. Oh and Natasha wants to get me drunk off tequila and make me throw up. Because I've never drunk tequila before. I've also been warned about kegs parties and how I'm going to throw up at my first one."

"Yes, you will," Riley shuddered. "I was so drunk at my first one I don't remember anything. I woke up on an inflatable lounge in the pool, with no eyebrows or leg hair. I learnt my lesson very quickly to be the one offering to film all the drunken antics. Have you seriously never have tequila before?"

"No never," I said, politely smothering back my laugh at the mental picture of Riley with no eyebrows. "I've seen Jared drunk off it plenty of times though. I worked out I'm a lot more of a lightweight drinker than he is. I don't need tequila's help in making an idiot of myself."

"If we didn't both have to work tomorrow I'd offer to grab a bottle just so you can see what you're getting yourself into," Riley chuckled. "But sadly we both have to work."

"Shame," I mused playfully. Our conversation had given me a little bit of courage to drop some innuendo in. "That could have been fun. I can see it now, a bottle of tequila and some body shots. Might have even been a lot of fun."

Riley was silent for a few moments. I mentally kicked myself. I must have stepped over the boundaries. Maybe this was nothing more than a friendly night out and I'd read into it too much. Despite what Rumlow said, I wasn't sure if Riley really was interested in me. Riley might be doing this to be polite because he knew I was having a hard time adjusting at work. Maybe he only wanted a friend and nothing else.

"As fun as that sounds, I wouldn't have done it," Riley began. I braced myself for the rejection. I knew it was too good to be true. It always was. "All right, I'm going to say it because I'm about to chicken out. I really like you, Kari. I'm not just in this for a night of fun and then we avoid each other forever. I want to do this properly."

"Really?" I said quietly biting my lip. I let myself have a small sigh of relief and then couldn't stop the smile spreading across my lips. I was very relieved my previous train of thought was wrong. "I'm really bad at this whole dating thing. I don't even know how to do relationships."

Riley cut me off, by leaning over and kissing me. I melted against his touch, kissing him back. It was soft and brief. But enough to make my heart pound and my head spin.

"I like that way of shutting me up," I murmured when we broke apart. Riley said nothing, he just grinned before kissing me again. Having his lips on mine again made my entire life feel perfect right there and then. Despite my worries, I found myself wanting to get used to the feel of Riley's lips against mine. Tonight had been perfect.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated 29th May 2018


	10. Chapter 10

“So, did you get laid last night?” 

 

Why was I not surprise that was the first question to come from Natasha’s mouth as I walked into the gym the next morning.

 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” I smirked at Natasha throwing my gym bag down on the ground. Clint wasn’t here yet. The gym was deserted except for Natasha and I. That wasn’t unusual for this time in the morning. People would only start to trickle in once we were finished. I wondered if that was on purpose. Or we just enjoyed being here ridiculously early. 

 

“Which is why I asked,” Natasha persisted. “Come on, spill. You have this stupid little smile on your face. So you either got laid or it was just a really good date.”

 

“No, I didn’t get laid. He was a perfect gentleman.” I admitted. “You were right about that.”

 

“I am always right.” Natasha looked so gleeful. It was times like this that I wondered if she enjoyed having a female friend to simply gossip with. “So, details. Come on.”

 

“Fine.” I threw up my hands in mock defeat. I was more than happy to put off our sparring session with girly gossip. “He picked me up not long after you and Hawk left.”

 

I ignored the snigger from Natasha at what I had now cemented as Clint’s nickname from me.

 

“He took me to a hill overlooking Andrews base and we watched F-16’s doing touch and goes,” I continued. “He brought Indian food, which was amazingly good. We talked, he kissed me and then dropped me off. Are you happy?”

 

“Yes, extremely happy.” Natasha nodded in approval. “I told you he’s a nice guy. When are you having another date? Maybe Barton and I should tag along.”

 

“Absolutely not,” I said, horrified at that idea. “No way, you’ll probably drug him and tie him to my bed naked or something equally embarrassing.”

 

“Only if you really wanted me to,” Natasha said seriously. The glint in her eye told me she was definitely not joking there. If I ever killed someone and needed to hide a body, I knew which one of my teammates would be the one to talk to. “I win though. Clint said that you’d sleep with him last night and I bet him $100 that you wouldn’t. So thank you for your self control.”

 

“You’re welcome.” I couldn’t stop the snort of amusement from slipping out. “I do have a serious question though. Well, two questions actually.”

 

Natasha looked at me patiently. At least I know she’d give me a serious answer.

 

“One, is this even a good idea getting involved with someone from work? From what I remember SHIELD frown pretty heavily on relationships at work. And two, I got paid last night and I’m finding myself desperate for my own wheels instead of using Jared’s car all the time. So can you show me to accounting so I can organise a loan for my new wheels.”

 

SHIELD had its own structure of being able to borrow money. No more needing to go through a bank, just talk to accounting. Everything was deducted straight from your pay. It was not only for convenience but security reasons as well. SHIELD didn’t want the outside world to know how much it paid its people. From the amount that was put into my bank account last night, I could see why. Even as a recruit I was on more money than I ever made in the Air Force. Next month’s pay as a fully fledged agent was going to be a tidy sum. I don’t think I’d ever seen so much money in my account. Not only could I afford the motorbike I really wanted, I could even go for the more expensive luxury model. I now understood why Jared was able to afford the clothes he had.

 

“Oh sweet it's payday.” Natasha pulled out her phone and started to flick through it while replying. “To the second one, yes. We’ll go after a shower and I can take you car shopping if you want after we get back from the range today.”

 

“Motorbike shopping,” I corrected.

 

“Even better.” Natasha grinned. “And to the first one. I don’t do relationships so I’m not the best person to ask. But you like each other so why not? SHIELD’s relationship policy is more for when people work really closely together. Say you and Barton got together, that’s a very strict no. You’d be split up and not able to work together, even if you broke it off. But chances are you and Riley won’t work together much because you’re both on separate teams. If you do work together it’s not like it’s just you two. So its fine in SHIELD’s eyes. Talk to Coulson about it anyway, he’ll point you in the right direction with all the paperwork if you decide to tread down that path.”

 

“There’s paperwork involved?” I asked feeling deflated by Natasha’s last statement. This was taking things to another level of strange that I hadn’t thought I’d quite hit yet.

 

“Apparently.” Natasha shrugged. “Don’t ask me, oh look at that, we have been paid. I think I need to go shopping to make my bank account look less healthy. Especially now that Barton owes me $100.”

 

“Where is Barton?” I asked looking around at the empty gym. Clint was always here first so it was a surprise not seeing him here this morning.

 

“Laura’s on night shift, sometimes she gets held up if there’s an emergency come in late,” Natasha explained putting her phone away. “So he’ll get here once she gets home. Lila’s going through a stage where she doesn’t like sleeping in her own bed so they’re both trying to juggle work around that at the moment.”

 

“I can’t even keep track of my hairbrush, let alone juggle a family.” It was true, I don’t know how Clint and Laura did it. Some of her work hours were completely crazy. While it wasn’t too hard while we were still at the Triskelion, I knew we could be whisked away on a mission at any second.

 

“That’s where we all come in,” Natasha explained. “We all chip in and help when they need it. I think I take Lila to her ballet lessons more than her parents some months. Ready to get your ass kicked again?”

 

“Not really, but let's see how I manage.” I pulled my running tights up a bit higher and tied them up more. Everything was falling off me. I needed to gain some weight. The small gesture didn’t go unnoticed by Natasha.

 

“You need to bump up your calories.” She pointed out with a frown. “Like by heaps, even I can tell you’ve probably lost about eight pounds since you started here. Four of those is probably this week alone.”

 

Ten was more like it. The tight jeans I’d worn last night I couldn’t get done up a few months ago. Now they fit me perfectly. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to step onto the scales anytime soon.

 

“What did you have for breakfast?” Natasha continued with a thoughtful look.

 

“Bagel and coffee.” I wrinkled my nose knowing it wasn’t a good answer. Or a very good breakfast, but it was quick and easy.

 

“Plain bagel?”

 

“No, salmon with cream cheese,” I said. I was slightly addicted to that combination. Especially from the little cafe, I stopped at on the way to work. 

 

“At least there’s something half decent on it.” Natasha shook her head at me. “Right, let's skip sparring this morning and go get real food.”

 

“Seriously?”

 

“Yeah I’ve got a minor hangover so I don’t need that much of an excuse to not train this morning,” Natasha admitted with a wry smile. “Especially with Barton not here. Let’s go get some real breakfast and go over a meal plan for you to make it look like we’ve been productive. You don’t need to get sick by not eating properly with the crazy amount of exercise we do.”

 

Here I was thinking Natasha was the one who was the hard taskmaster. I wasn’t going to argue though. I seemed to be aching on an entirely new level this morning. A morning off might go a long way to helping my sore body.

 

“I thought you were the disciplined one.” I decided to see how far I could push my teasing. While I wasn’t as nervous around Natasha anymore I still wasn’t sure about what I could and couldn’t say. 

 

“It comes and goes,” Natasha admitted with a small laugh as she went and picked up her own gym bag. “At the moment it’s in the going cycle. Clint is being the disciplined one at the moment because he’s waiting for his 200 pound draw weight bow prototype to come through. So he’s trying to bulk up so he can have a good play with his new toy before he has to send it back. Watch him during weight training, he’s doing crazy weights of 300 plus at the moment.”

 

“I did notice that,” I said remembering back to our last few days doing weights in the gym. Clint wasn’t the only one doing crazy weights so I hadn't paid that much attention to it. 

 

“So give it until he’s done with his prototype bow, then he’ll be the one easing off training a bit. Then I’ll probably decide to start some new kind of training program to be able to do something, and it starts all over again. You’ll start doing the same thing too.”

 

I’d already been trawling YouTube and numerous bodybuilding websites trying to come up with my own training program. I had a rough idea of what kind of a program I needed to do. My problem at the moment was that I was just too exhausted and aching after every morning to really commit to it. I was giving myself another week for my body to get used to this before I started pushing myself more. I was never going to get any better if I let myself settle for satisfactory. I walked over and grabbed my gym bag following Natasha out on our quest to get food. 

 

“So why do you have a minor hungover?” I asked as we walked along.

 

“I had a fuck buddy over with two bottles of red wine.” Natasha looked pleased with herself. “Red wine and I generally don’t go together very well. But it was very nice red wine. He has good taste, I’ll give them that.”

 

“Yuck, you can keep that all to yourself.” I wrinkled my nose in disgust. Red wine and I didn’t go very well together. Jared drank it occasionally but I hated the smell of it. Let alone the taste.

 

“By the way, tonight we’re having tequila,” Natasha informed me. “You aren’t getting out of doing this. Think of it as team bonding again.”

 

“Great,” I groaned. There was no point arguing. Natasha would probably spike my drink. “Please tell me we’re doing this at home.”

 

“Nah, let's go to JoJo’s tonight, we can have dinner and get drunk,” Natasha said casually like it was a regular occurrence. “We’ll go from your place after we finish here.”

 

“Motorbike shopping?” I gently reminded her.

 

“Right, after motorbike shopping,” Natasha assured me. “You gonna let me ride your new bike?”

  
“Only if you ask me really nicely.” I felt a bubble of excitement at finally getting the motorbike I’d always wanted. I couldn’t wait to get out of here and make it happen.

 

“I will even buy you drinks tonight and hold your hair when you throw up if I can have a ride on your new bike.” Natasha didn’t argue at all “I’ll even be satisfied with riding bitch on it. What bike are you getting?”

 

“Ninja Kawasaki ZX-14,” I said instantly. I’d memorised every specification on the motorbike. “I’m debating whether to go black or blue.”

 

“Thank you for not making it red.” Natasha snorted. “Go blue, it suits you better.”

 

“What are we getting in blue?” Clint’s voice came from behind us. Natasha and I turned to look at our up until then missing teammate. Clint looked exhausted as he walked up to us. 

 

“Everything all right?” Natasha asked looking concerned.

 

“Yeah, fine.” Clint rubbed a hand over his face. “Besides Lila didn’t want to sleep last night. She kept saying the ghost was in the house again and Mommy is the only one who can tell the ghost to go away.”

 

Natasha cleared her throat and looked away guiltily at that statement. The hard glare Clint sent in her direction would have made me quake in my shoes. I raised my eyebrow looking at Natasha who was avidly avoiding looking anywhere but in Clint’s direction. This would be an interesting story of where that came from.

 

“Thanks, Nat,” Clint growled. “Whatever you said to my daughter made me have about three hours sleep last night. So next time you can come over and deal with it.”

 

“So we’re heading to get food because Kari is too skinny,” Natasha said quickly to get herself out of trouble. “Want coffee?”

 

The look Clint sent Natasha again spoke more than words ever could. It was a pretty stupid question.

 

“I was also thinking dinner and drinks at JoJo’s tonight,” Natasha continued like nothing had happened. “Kari is buying her motorbike this afternoon and we can celebrate with tequila.”

 

“While you two are out buying the motorbike, I’m going home to have a sleep,” Clint grumbled. I had to stifle a giggle at his shitty tone. It seems I wasn’t the only one who acted grouchy when they were tired. “I only came in so I didn’t look completely slack and since you two aren’t training this morning I’m guessing we aren’t going anything productive today.”

 

“No, but you owe me $100,” Natasha’s face lit up with a sudden smug grin.

 

“Aw fuck.” Clint turned to look at me in mock disgust. “Come on, you couldn’t have taken one for the team, Kari?”

 

“Unlike some other people, he was a gentleman,” I said with my own smug grin. “And yes my date was great, thanks so much for asking.”

 

“Ugh you sound just like her, I’m terrified,” Clint groaned as he reached into his pants pulling his wallet out. “Nope, don’t have it on me. I guess I’m paying tonight then.”

 

“Stupid question,” Natasha chided Clint. “Go home grouch, we’ll meet you at JoJo’s at 7.”

 

Clint turned on his heel and waved his hand in a casual goodbye. It seemed he didn’t have to be told twice to go home and back to bed. I still haven’t been given an actual work roster. I wondered how long this was going to last doing what we basically just felt like during the day.

 

“So what the hell did you tell Lila?” I turned to Natasha once Clint was out of earshot.

 

“I told him if she ever wanted to stay up all night when Laura was at work, just to tell Clint that there was a ghost and she was scared,” Natasha admitted, looking guilty at what she’d done. “That was months ago and I didn’t think she’d actually do it. I better buy him drinks tonight to make up for it.”

 

“Worst Aunt ever,” I scolded Natasha playfully. “Or coolest, I’m not quite sure yet.”

 

“Bit of both,” Natasha said with a small laugh. “After all, I’m the one who lets them have all the sugar they want when I babysit. But Coulson is the one who sneaks them out for impromptu ice cream and movie trips without telling anyone. He’s just sneaky about it so he never gets in trouble.”

 

“Somehow that doesn’t surprise me in the least.” I didn’t doubt Coulson could be the sneakiest one of us all. “Right, I need food like right now before I starve to death now we’re talking about sugar and ice cream.”

 

“Then I vote we just head out and go and get your motorbike.” Natasha linked her arm through mine. “I’m all for blowing work off today while we can.”

 

I wasn’t going to argue with that at all. 

  

* * *

 

I straddled my brand new Ninja Kawasaki just running my hands over it. The bike was a beast and I’d had the salesman all over me when I said I wanted to buy it right now. Getting the loan for it had been so easy, the money was in my account within an hour. I marvelled at how easy SHIELD managed to make some processes. The extra money I was earning enabled me to splash out and buy a new helmet, gloves and riding jacket to go with it. My bank account was looking slightly worse for wear after everything was paid for. But I was very, very happy. 

 

The salesman had let me take one for a spin to make sure I was going to be happy with it. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I’d already done several test rides on one just to make sure I loved it completely. It’d been fun having Natasha sitting behind me clutching on for dear life as I speed around the streets. It was also small payback for how crazy she drove.

 

I shouldn’t have been surprised in Natasha’s choice of car. The black Corvette Stingray was insane. She knew how to handle the power behind the wheel as well. Two could play that game of trying to scare the shit out of each other. I couldn’t wait until I had Natasha strapped into a Quinjet. She was going to find out the meaning of crazy I was tame on my bike compared to how I flew. 

 

“Happy?” Natasha asked me standing to the side grinning while I just kept running my hands my new motorbike.

 

“You have no idea how happy I am.” I grinned back. “Oh, this bad boy is a dream come true.”

 

“Stop humping it. Save that for later on with Riley,” Natasha said with an evil glint in her eye. “Let's go get ready for tonight.”

 

Riley and I had been texting non stop all day. It didn’t take much persuading to get him to come out tonight. Unlike Natasha and I who had skipped out of work for the day, he was still stuck at the Triskelion for another hour. It turned out my place was the closest, so Riley and Natasha would both meet back there before we headed to JoJo’s. Natasha had promised not to scare him off and be on her best behaviour when she met him. It’d been relaxing and fun spending the day hanging out with Natasha away from work. It was good having some kind of female influence in my life. I had always imagined Natasha as a complete tomboy. Never one to go anything girly. But the more I got to know her it wasn’t the case. While she was still a badass on an insane level, Natasha was also very happy to hang onto her feminine side. She liked clothes, nice shoes and had developed a designer handbag fetish over the years. I’d gaped at the gorgeous Prada bag that had been sitting on her front seat of the car. When I questioned her about it she just shrugged and explained we all have our vices.

 

I couldn’t argue with that logic. 

 

“Right, let's go.” There was no wiping the grin off my face as I pulled my helmet on. “I’ll see you back at my place?”

  
Natasha nodded and waved as she headed to her own car. 

 

The motorbike roared to life underneath me. I eased it out of the carpark and waited until I was clear on the street before opening it up. I really was an adrenaline junkie at heart. I was happiest when I was doing something fast and crazy. I weaved around the fast thickening mid-afternoon traffic, very glad not to be stuck in it for once. It didn’t take long to get back home after that.

 

Home. That was a funny word. It made me nearly stop the bike in surprise when I thought about the apartment being home. I’d been saying Jared’s apartment for the last month. Somewhere in the crazy spin, my life had taken in the last week I’d started to feel settled where I was. Maybe I was wrong to have shied away from SHIELD so for long? Though if I had done things like Jared had, I doubted I’d be in the position I am now. My year at SHIELD was looking less and less like a chore and more like an adventure.

 

I parked my bike in the car space next to Jared’s RX8. I’d dropped it off before Natasha and I had gone to buy my bike. I sighed happily turning it off and gave it one last run over with my hands. I was going to enjoy my new bike a little too much. I couldn’t wait to open it up on the stretch into the Triskelion. The long piece of road over the Potomac was just begging to be tackled at high speed. With a top speed of 200MPH, I wanted to see how close I could get to that. I’d have to find somewhere around here with some good stretches of road and go for a ride on a day off. 

 

The garage opened and I turned to look at the car in surprise. Despite the building having a lot of occupants, I’d never actually seen any neighbours yet. I’d heard people come and go occasionally. Jared had been right about that it was really quiet here. A red car drove in and right up to my space. I grinned as I recognised it as Riley’s car. He pulled up next to me and rolled the window down.

 

“Nice bike,” Riley whistled in admiration. Now I was grinning all over again for a new reason. It was good to see Riley again.

 

“It’s a lot of fun,” I said as I reluctantly got off it. “You got here quick. I wasn’t expecting you for at least an hour.”

 

“I kind of rushed through everything I had to do so I could get here earlier,” Riley admitted with a lopsided grin. “Call me sad but I was looking forward to seeing you again.”

 

“Not sad at all, I’m glad you’re here,” If I thought I was grinning before, I felt like my face was going to split open now. Riley parked his car and got out. I thought things might be awkward for a second, but he just pulled me in for a kiss right away. I smiled against his lips. I could get used to this very quickly.

 

Another car drove in, beeping the horn. The roar of the Corvette was unmistakable. Both Riley and I jumped apart guiltily as Natasha drove up.

 

“Let's go fuckers, I’m starving,” Natasha declared getting out of her car. “There’s a steak in every tequila shot.”

 

“Why do I have a feeling I’m going to regret this night deeply?” It was a rhetorical question with Natasha’s smirk. “Be nice to me Nat, it’s my first time.”

 

“Which is why it’s going to be so much fun.” Natasha’s smirk confirmed my fears. “Hey, Riley.”

 

“Romanoff,” Riley said cautiously. Poor guy, I was throwing him in the deep end tonight by doing this with Natasha and Clint. He hadn’t hesitated when I’d asked him though. I wonder if he was going to regret that after tonight. Shit, I think I might even regret it after tonight. 

  

* * *

 

My head didn't know if it was spinning or pounding. I didn’t want to drag my eyes open at all. Keeping them closed seemed like the safest option now I was coming back to the land of the living. Whatever I was using as a pillow moved making me crack my eyes open. I was lying next to Riley, mostly sprawled across him. Both of us were still dressed. Behind me was another body snuggled right up against my back. My guess would be it was Natasha spooning me judging by the body pressed against me. Thankfully the bed we were in seemed to be big enough that it wasn’t too crowded.

 

I groaned quietly and closed my eyes again. I didn’t want to be awake. Right now I felt like I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. My stomach was rebelling and I think my head was ready to fall off.

 

“Ugh,” Jared’s voice made me bolt upright and glance over. I was right, it was Natasha spooning me. But Jared was behind her. I don't even remember him showing up last night. He looked as terrible as I felt. Now I was sitting upright my body screamed in protest. I grabbed my head between my hands and cringed.

 

“I am never drinking tequila again,” I said hoarsely before looking around. I had no idea where we’d ended up. 

 

“You and me both,” Riley didn’t sound any better than I left. He pulled the pillow over his head. “Who’s idea was this?”

 

“Apparently Natasha’s,” Jared supplied. The sound of Jared’s voice made Riley jump in shock. He’d been right on the edge of the bed and fell straight off with a loud thump.

 

“You okay down there?” I asked looking at Riley sprawled across the floor. He nodded, pinching the bridge of his nose while screwing his face up. I guess I wasn’t the only one feeling really hungover. 

 

“Stop talking,” Natasha whined. “It’s way too early.”

 

“When the fuck did you get here?” I squinted at Jared who was still lying on his side close to Natasha.

 

“Finished my mission and you sent me a text.” Jared didn’t bother to open his eyes. “Like I’m going to pass up tequila when Barton was paying.”

 

“I don’t remember anything,” I groaned. Riley picked himself up off the floor and lay next to me again. I wasted no time in cuddling back into his open arms. I smiled, closing my eyes enjoying the feeling of being safe in his arms. This wasn’t going to get old anytime soon.

 

“Stop speaking,” Clint’s voice came from the bottom of the bed on the floor. “It’s too early and I’m going to die if I have to move.”

 

I didn’t bother opening my eyes to see where he was. 

 

“Laura kick you out of bed did she?” Natasha snickered.

 

“Something about throwing up on the front lawn isn’t cool,” Clint groaned. “I don’t remember, how did we even get home?”

 

“Aren’t you five just the most pathetic sight this morning,” Laura’s voice sounded. I cracked an eye open to see her standing in the doorway. “Breakfast is ready, get up. There’s an entire drug cabinet on the kitchen table to make you feel better.”

 

That explains where we all ended up. This must have been the spare room at Clint’s house. I couldn’t hear the dogs or any screaming kids. It was a small mercy. Small snatches of last night started to come back to me. We had caught a taxi right after Natasha had shown up. As soon as we walked in the door she instantly ordered tequila shots. Riley tried to protest but Natasha wouldn’t take no for an answer. I’d had a beer while Natasha had gotten another round of shots. After my second shot, things started to get a bit fuzzy.

 

I vaguely remembered sitting down for dinner after Clint had arrived. Determined to catch up, he had taken three shots in a row. Beyond that things started to get vague. I don’t remember Jared arriving or sending him a text. There was a very fuzzy recollection of Riley and I possibly making out in a corner somewhere. I don’t know if it was true or something my mind had made up.

 

“This is too funny not to take a photo of,” Laura’s voice was closely followed by a click of a phone camera. “Phil will be so proud. Come on drunkards. Up. It’s 10:30am.”

 

My body was telling me that was a big fat lie. I’m sure we only went to bed a few hours ago. I grumbled but complied. It was a great reluctance that I pulled myself out of Riley’s arms. Breakfast usually meant coffee. My body could cope with some coffee right about now. As I sat up, my head protested again. I put my hands over my eyes, rubbing them hard.

 

“I think my head is going to fall off,” I whispered hoarsely. “Holy shit, I wasn’t even this bad after my 21st.”

 

“The five of you did finish off a bottle of tequila”, Laura laughed. “Get up and you can stop being rude and introduce me.”

 

“Laura, Riley,” I said blearily, squinting up at Laura. “Riley, Laura.”

 

“My wife,” Clint supplied helpfully from the floor.

 

“I'm really sorry for this Laura,” Riley said quietly, still laying down. “This isn’t typical of me.”

 

“Don’t worry, it is for these three,” Laura laughed again. “It just seems Kari is picking up bad habits and it hasn’t even been a week yet. Clint, get the fuck up before I throw cold water over you again.”

 

At Laura’s threat, Clint lurched to a sitting position. He immediately went pale, bolting to his feet he quickly ran from the room. Laughing even harder now Laura followed her husband to where ever he had bolted to. Most likely to the bathroom to torment him for throwing up.

 

“So who grew the balls first?” Jared asked finally opening his eyes looking over to Riley and me.

 

“Kari,” Natasha said smugly. “With prompting from me.”

 

“About time,” Jared said with a snort, rubbing his face tiredly. “Come on Nat, get up. This was all your fault.”

 

“Now Kari has been really drunk and spewed my mission is accomplished.”

 

Natasha climbed over Jared, not caring at all where her knees and elbows went. The groan of pain coming from Jared told me she’d hit her mark. Probably on purpose knowing Natasha. 

 

I don’t remember throwing up. At all. But Natasha was right, she really did accomplish the mission of getting me really drunk. Not that it would have been hard. I was a lightweight at the best of times.

 

Jared got up right after Natasha, leaving Riley and I alone in the bed. 

 

“I don’t remember much from last night,” Riley said dryly rolling onto his back. “But I’m glad we both have clothes on.”

 

“Yeah, that would have been awkward waking up naked with Natasha spooning me,” I giggled making Riley smile. Fuck me he had a gorgeous smile. “I remember dinner, I think.”

 

“I remember dinner,” Riley yawned and stretched. His shirt rode up above his stomach giving me a nice view of his abs. “I kind of remember playing darts and that’s it. I lost count after four tequila shots. Tequila and I are not friends.”

 

“Did we make out in a corner somewhere?” I asked trying to pull my eyes away from his exposed stomach. Damn, he had a nice body from the small peek I just got of it. “Because I have a very vague memory of that, but I also feel like I might have made it up.”

 

“I have no idea,” Riley groaned. “And if we did, I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t be sorry.” I let myself have a small grin as I dragged my eyes away from his six pack. “We might just have to do it again another time when we’ll both remember it.”

 

“Preferably without the tequila,” Riley laughed quietly. “What did you have planned for the rest of the day?”

 

“Aspirin and being a zombie on the couch I think.” Food was still feeling questionable at this stage. “Want to join me?”

 

“Sure. Want to do it at my place so Jared doesn’t annoy the shit out of us?”

 

I didn’t even think of that. There was no doubt that if we went back to my place Jared would spend the entire day teasing me about Riley. I had gotten used to the peace and quiet of not having Jared around since he left for his mission. If I thought I might have been lonely, I was very wrong. 

 

“Sounds like a plan, let's get up before someone sends the dogs in on us.” I pushed myself off the bed with great effort. Standing up made everything worse. At least my head had stopped spinning and it was only pounding now. It was an effort to make it down the stairs, I had to support myself on the railing so I didn’t fall down. It only made me feel slightly better that Riley wasn’t doing much better than me.

 

“I didn’t know Clint was married,” Riley murmured behind me as we staggered along.

 

“Apparently not many people do,” I said with a small shrug. Now I thought of it, I was a bit surprised Clint had let Riley come back here with us. “Trade secret I guess.”

 

“I can imagine why,” Riley said casually. I looked over at my shoulder curiously at him. I couldn’t imagine why. It seems my imagination didn’t stretch too far. Everyone else was already at the table by the time we made it into the kitchen. Lucy and Lucky both scrambled over the tiles racing towards both of us. 

 

“Hey, puppies.” I grinned, carefully reaching down to pat them. “Aren’t you both terrible guard dogs?”

 

“Worst guard dogs in the world,” Laura confirmed. “Sit, eat.”

 

I plonked myself down in the chair happily next to Natasha who was shovelling food into her mouth like she hadn’t eaten in weeks. My stomach couldn’t decide it if was starving, or it was going to rebel against me. I tentatively took a bite of bacon and swallowed. My stomach seemed to tolerate the salty meat without any protests. Jared slid over a bottle of aspirin and something else to me.

 

“Anti-nausea drugs,” he explained as I picked up the mystery bottle. “Strong stuff too.”

 

“Thanks.” I took two out and swallowed them dry. I didn’t miss the disgusted look I got from Jared and Laura. “What?”

 

“You three were meant for each other,” Laura wrinkled her nose. “That’s gross and something both Clint and Natasha do.”

 

“You don’t always have water on hand,” Clint protested. “Riley, you’re STRIKE as well. Please tell me you don't need water to swallow pills.”

 

“It doesn’t mean I do it when I have water available.” Riley pulled a face at me jokingly. “Gross Kari.”

 

“Complete lack of gag reflex.” I pointed out without thinking of what I was saying. I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth. Both Natasha and Clint looked at me with identical smug smiles. Jared made a noise of disgust in the back of his throat. Riley looked at me with raised eyebrows.

 

“Someone is going to have fun with that,” Clint didn’t bother to cover his laughter and he looked at Riley. Poor Riley looked like he was torn between being embarrassed and laughing with Clint. I sighed heavily and just glared at both Natasha and Clint.

 

“I hate you both.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited and updated 30th of May 2018


	11. Chapter 11

“Favourite colour?”

 

“Blue.” I grinned at the stupidity of the situation. 

 

Riley and I were lazing on his couch. It was Sunday afternoon and we’d barely moved except to go to bed last night or to change the DVD. We were facing each other, nursing Chinese food, feet tangled together playing 20 questions. Currently Riley was the one asking the questions and I was answering. I felt like a teenager all over again. Neither of us really knew a lot about each other. It was when I realised I didn’t know Riley’s last name I’d started this. Riley had already been through 20 questions with me. Now it was his turn to ask me the questions. So far everything had been very tame from both of us.

 

“Birthday?”

 

“April 2nd, 85.”

 

“There you go, I’m five years older than you.” Riley grinned as well. That grin of his made my body melt. “And an Aries, I’m a Sagittarius. We're supposed to go well together.”

 

“Yeah two fire signs sounds like its fun,” I laughed as poking my chicken and cashew. My stomach still wasn’t happy after the tequila binge. “Not that I’m really into astrology.”

 

“Me either, it’s just something to read about when I’m bored,” Riley admitted. “Favourite drink?”

 

“Scotch, either by itself or with dry. Never with ice.”

 

“Why does it not surprise me you’re that specific?”

 

I didn’t have an answer to that. I laughed in response. There’d been plenty of laughter today. I was having a lot of fun hanging out with Riley.

 

“Middle name?”

 

“Anastasia.”

 

“Favourite movie?”

 

“Either Jurassic Park or The Incredibles, that’s a hard one to pick between them.”

 

“Song?”

 

“Love Story by Taylor Swift.”

 

Riley burst out laughing. I faked a hurt pout. I wasn’t surprised by his reaction. I’d gotten plenty of ribbing about that over the years. I had such a weird taste in music. I’d listen to nearly anything.

 

“Sorry I was not expecting that.” Riley got himself back under control. “I don’t know why but I assumed it was going to be DMX or something weird ass heavy metal band.”

 

“Well, I do love Party Up by DMX.” I couldn’t keep my fake pout any longer, so I laughed instead. “But yeah, I know. I’m a bit of a sucker for a good love song.”

 

“Favourite position?”

 

“Me on top.” That was a sudden change of topic. Riley had been very careful about not wandering in that territory. His question made me grin again. His eyes had fallen down to my legs, as they often had during our conversation. “Did you run out of questions to ask that didn’t involve sex?”

 

“Yeah, I’m not going to lie that my mind keeps wandering because those are really short shorts,” Riley admitted. He pulled his eyes back up to my face. “I told you it’s been a while.”

 

He had me there. I hadn’t really looked when I threw a few clothes in a bag before coming to his place. The shorts I had on only really covered the bare essentials. I’m not even sure why I had them. At least they weren’t a really old pair of sweatpants.

 

“How long?”

 

“Not your turn,” Riley said smartly. That pantry dropping grin of his was back. “So how about you?”

 

“Three or four months?” I pursed my lips trying to think. “Yeah, I think it’s been about four months. Though this last month has flown by. It feels like a few days ago I was still having a beer at the bar back at Langley.”

 

“That I can understand.” Riley gave me a soft smile. “Do you regret what happened?”

 

“Yes and no.” I screwed up my nose sightly and looked back down at my food. “Yes, it sucks because I worked my ass off to get where I was. But nothing lasts forever and there are much worse things that could have happened besides joining SHIELD and being put with Natasha and Clint..”

 

“I’m happy you joined SHIELD,” Riley said shyly. It made me drag my gaze back up to him and I felt the stupid grin I’d had since we went out the other night come back on my face.

 

“And why is that Agent Hunterton?” I teased Riley.

 

“Because not only do I now have bragging rights about Black Widow got me drunk,” Riley started with a laugh. “But somehow I’ve managed to become to luckiest guy in the world that you liked me enough to say yes to getting my number off Rumlow. You have no idea how excited I was when I got your text.”

 

“I was so nervous,” I admitted. “It took Nat threatening me to write something herself to actually do it. So is it my turn to ask questions now?”

 

“Yes.” Riley cringed. “Be nice.”

 

“I’m always nice,” I giggled at the cautious look on Riley’s face. “I’ll be good, I promise. Favourite song?”

 

“Iris by Goo Goo Dolls or Shadow of the Day by Linkin Park. Too close to call it.”

 

“Middle name?”

 

“Alexander.”

 

“That’s far too close to Anastasia,” I laughed quietly. “Why did SHIELD recruit you?”

 

“I kind of made a kill shot from a mile and a half away, direct head shot.” Riley pursed his lips. He looked uncomfortable at the change of topic. “Well, it might have been six or seven headshots, in a row. I was in Afghanistan a couple of years back. When I got back home, SHIELD knocked on my door and offered me a job. Like I said before, pay is heaps better.”

 

“Nice.” I was impressed, not only by Riley’s skill but he quiet demeanour too. Most guys would be bragging about things like that. Riley only made it seem like it wasn’t a big deal and that he was just doing his job. I’d love to see Riley shoot now. “Any regrets?”

 

“Nope, I love my job.” Riley smile said it all. “This is a nice tame line of questioning.”

 

“I can make it dirty if you want me to,” I laughed and Riley shook his head. He suddenly looked like he regretted that question. “Well, since we’re treading down that path, how long has it been?”

 

“I knew you were going to ask that.” Riley pulled a face at me playfully. “Don’t laugh, but it’s been about nine months. I got a bit caught up with work lately.”

 

“I promise I’d only laugh if it was more than two years,” I teased giving Riley’s leg a gentle kick. “So what’s your favourite position?”

 

“Well, lucky for me, I like a girl on top,” Riley laughed kicking me back gently. “Though that whole total lack of gag reflex sounds fun too.”

 

“Yeah, I can’t believe I let that one slip out like that.” I cringed hating my lack of brain to mouth filter. “That was embarrassing.”

 

“Funny though.” Riley threw his empty Chinese container on the table. I was done with mine, even though it was only half finished so I put the lid back on and it joined the empty container on the table. I stretched out a bit further making an even more complicated tangle of our limbs. One of us was going to end up on the floor trying to get untangled. But it was so comfortable. I was enjoying the chaste touch too. Riley had been a perfect gentleman while I was here. I’d enjoyed waking up wrapped up in his arms this morning a lot.

 

“So.” I hoped Riley wouldn’t freak out about what I was going to ask next. “Why are we waiting to have sex?”

 

“Because I really don’t want to fuck this up,” Riley said straight away with a short but nervous laugh. He rubbed the back of his neck absently looking embarrassed. “I’m not a typical STRIKE guy just wanting to get in your pants. Well, I do want in your pants but I’m not in it just for that.”

 

I laughed quietly at his honesty.

 

“I really like you Kari and I’m honestly still really surprised you like me back,” Riley continued giving me an unsure smile. “I was kind of hoping we’d be at least officially dating before we did anything.”

 

“I’m not really good at dating.” I fought back a sigh. This could end up in a big mess and Riley was too much of a nice guy for me to hurt his feelings. “Honestly, I’m barely able to hold a fuck buddy down most of the time. You don’t want to screw this up and I don’t want to break your feelings. Where does that leave us?”

 

This conversation had taken a serious turn for a casual Sunday afternoon. Trust me to go and ask a question like that to make things awkward. I was bracing myself for the worst. That we wouldn’t be able to agree on this and nothing would come of it. Then the next year of my life at SHIELD would be spent avoiding Riley and wondering why I was such an idiot when it came to relationships.

 

“You’re doing a pretty good job at it right now.” Riley pointed out gently. “We’ve been on two dates. You’ve spent the weekend here. Why do you think you’ll break my feelings?”

 

Good question. Very good question. I didn’t even know the answer myself. I always assumed the worse of myself when I put myself in this situation of actually liking someone. What it came down to I was always scared to let myself get carried away. To let myself think I could have some happiness in my life that I called mine. I might be terrible at relationships but it didn’t stop me hoping one day things might change for me and I found someone who wanted me for who I was. Not someone they wanted to mould me into.

 

“Nothing has ever worked out for me before in relationships, I guess I’m just worried about this turning out the same,” I admitted again not being able to meet Riley’s gaze. 

 

“Maybe it will, maybe it won’t,” Riley said gently. “But I’m willing to give it a try. In our line of work, there isn’t a lot of room for not giving something a go in life. You never know when you might be coming home or not. I’d rather die next week knowing I wasn’t too scared to do something than my last thoughts being of what if.”

 

“That’s deep,” I mused. “And brutally honest.”

 

“It’s true.” Riley untangled his legs from mine and lent over, tipping my chin up so I was looking at him. “I’d rather be heartbroken for a while than second guess myself over not giving something a try.”

 

Without waiting for a reply Riley lent over and gave me a soft kiss. I smiled against his lips, wrapping my hand around his neck to pull him in closer. His kisses still made me giddy and lightheaded. 

 

“Besides,” Riley murmured pulling away a few inches. “Where else am I going to find a crazy pilot who made two teams of STRIKE guys pay her for being a stripper, then walk out without anyone noticing?”

 

“Where did you hear that story?” I laughed pushing Riley away slightly, happy that the heavy mood was gone as quickly as it came. Though his words gave me some confidence. I still wasn’t sure what I was really getting into with my new job or this blossoming relationship. But Riley’s words were right. I knew enough that he wasn’t bullshitting in any way with what he said.

 

“I was there,” Riley admitted with a smug grin. “I only realised it the other night when I saw a photo of you in uniform. I only got a quick glance of you that night though. I was promised a lap dance that night by Rumlow.”

 

I gave Riley a harder push, so he was laying back on the couch. Before he could protest, I straddled his waist, pushing myself against his body. That was one good thing about all the working out I was doing at the moment. I was getting stronger. Thanks to Natasha beating my ass every morning, my reflexes were starting to improve as well.

 

“All you have to do is ask,” I smirked as I lent down to kiss him. I didn’t miss the sharp inhale of his breath, nor his reaction under me. As I kissed him, his hands found their way just under the hem of my shirt. The touch of his hands on my bare skin made me kiss him harder, tongues dancing with each other. Riley had his hands back down my hips and tugged on my shirt, starting to lift it over my body.

 

And his phone rang.

 

“Fuck.” Riley stopped instantly, breaking away from our kiss to grab it. He looked at the caller ID with a groan and answered it. “You have the worst timing the fucking world do you know that? This better be really fucking important.”

 

I laughed quietly. I was about to ask who it was before my own phone started to ring with Coulson’s ringtone. For lack of imagination, I’d made it the Imperial March from Star Wars. I lurched for the offending ringing phone sitting next to my half finished Chinese. 

 

“Hi Coulson,” I said warily. I really felt like I was a teenager just caught out by my parents making out. It didn’t help that I was still straddling Riley.

 

“We have a mission, be here in 20,” Coulson said before pausing. “Did I interrupt something?”

 

“Umm no,” I lied looking over the Riley who’d hung up from his call.

 

“You’re a very bad liar,” Coulson scoffed, though he sounded amused. “I’m putting you in the field for this one, so don’t wear a flight suit.”

 

“Okay?” I felt a flutter of nerves hit me. Holy shit that was actually happening. This was really happening that I was a real agent going into the field. “I’ll see you there.”

 

“Don’t be late, I’ll even give you 30.” I could hear the smirk in Coulson’s voice. Before I could reply he hung up on me, leaving my smart ass reply hanging on my lips. I pulled my phone away from my ear just looking at it blankly for a moment.

 

“I got called into work,” Riley said first looking at me curiously. “I’m guessing you did too?”

 

“Yeah, and got told I’m going into the field,” I said biting my lip. “Wow, shit is actually happening.”

 

“There is a bright side to this.” Riley smiled as lay back down, putting his hands behind his head. “You won’t be mad at me being called away at a moments notice.”

 

“Very true,” I laughed leaning back down over Riley. “Do you think we just got called in for the same mission?”

 

“Who knows? Its SHIELD there could be any number of things happening.” Riley shrugged. “Let me get changed real quick.”

 

“We could do something else real quick?” I suggested moving in for another kiss. “Coulson gave me 30 minutes.”

 

“Nice try.” Riley closed the space between us for a brief kiss. “We still have to drop into your place to get your stuff.”

 

“Party pooper.” I smiled down at Riley. “Fine, you win.”

 

I went to climb off Riley, but he grabbed me by the waist and pulled me back down onto him for another kiss. It was meant to be small and chaste, but it quickly grew intense. I ran my hands through his hair as he pulled me even closer to him. Everything stopped around me and all I could hear was the sound of my own heart pounding. 

 

“Can we make this official?” Riley broke away first. It took me a moment to regather my breath and my senses. It was one of those kisses which just made my brain turn off. “Please? Just give this a chance Kari.”

 

What did I have to lose? I could see this getting serious very quickly. It was almost too good to be true. Things like this never happened to me. I was never the one to get the nice guy or the dream job. All of a sudden I had both. Maybe Riley was right. This job was going to be hard enough. Why live with regrets? Why not just take a chance and hope it all works out in the end. When you skirted around death for a living the last thing you want with your dying breath was to have regrets. Life was already far too short without the expected lifespan of a SHIELD agent cutting it down dramatically. 

 

“Okay.” I couldn’t think of anything witty or funny to say. I wasn’t even sure it was a good answer. But Riley’s smile said everything to me that I’d said and done the right thing. My heart was telling me I’d done the right thing too. My brain was slowly being convinced it wasn’t going to be such a terrible thing.

 

“Thank fuck for that,” Riley chuckled. “Come on, let’s go otherwise we’ll both be in trouble.”

 

I climbed off and offered my hand up to Riley. He grabbed it and I pulled him to his feet. Before I could do anything else, Riley pulled me into a hug.

 

“We can make this work, I promise,” Riley said quietly as he hugged me. “Do you want to drive in together? It’ll be quicker.”

 

“Sure, we need to get moving.” I hugged Riley back, lingering in his embrace. His embrace was strong and comforting. In his arms, I didn’t feel like I had a care in the world. “I have no idea what I’m meant to wear if I’m not wearing my flight suit.”

 

“Want some help picking out your outfit?” Riley laughed at me, dropping another quick kiss before we untangled from each other. “I’ll go get dressed.”

 

Riley was dressed, and both of us in his car and driving towards my place in five minutes. It was the first time I’d seen him in his tactical outfit. It was pretty simple. Black army style pants with knee pads already on them. Combat boots, which Riley hadn’t bothered to lace yet. A tight black t-shirt which gave me an impressive view of his muscles. A black jacket was thrown in the backseat, along with fingerless gloves. 

 

“Nervous?” Riley turned to look at me. 

 

“Not yet, I probably will be once I find out what is actually doing on,” I admitted. “Though I can’t see me getting too involved for my first time out with SHIELD.”

 

“Probably not.” Riley gave me a reassuring smile. “For the first three months, even though I was a SEAL who’d seen plenty of action, I pretty much sat back a mile away watching everything through a sniper scope. I’d never been so bored in my life.”

 

“Rumlow said you were on his team first?” I remembered back to my conversation with him weeks ago after the parachute drop.

 

“Yeah, generally teams only have one marksman,” Riley explained. “The sniper from Bravo was KIA, so I got invited to step into his position as a more senior agent.”

 

“I still have so much to learn,” I said with a wry smile. “I haven’t even scratched the surface of everything yet and here I am going on missions.”

 

“Did you do many missions as a pilot?” Riley asked.

 

“Yeah a fair few, I had a lot of flying hours logged because of it.” I thought back to all the times I’d volunteered for things because the older pilots didn’t want to be away from home, or spend so much time in the air. I’d do anything to get extra flying hours. Even if it did mean three months away at a time.

 

“Then it’s not much different to that.” Riley shot me a quick smile. “You’ll probably sit out of the way with a pair of binoculars, or be listening to a radio for this one. You’ll get back and be pissed off because you missed out on the action.”

 

I didn’t really have an answer to that. So much was hanging on what was actually happening in the world right now and why we were needed. For all I knew aliens could be invading Earth and we wouldn’t have a clue about it until we got to work. Riley pulled up at my building and I bolted upstairs to quickly get changed. I had the exact same clothes as Riley still tucked away from when I’d been given all my uniforms. I yanked them on and was back in the car in two minutes. 

 

“Now I know I’m a lucky man when you can get dressed in less than five minutes,” Riley teased as we drove out. A message came through on both our phones at the exact same time.

 

_Mission brief in room B71. 15 minutes._

 

The message was from SHIELD Communications. I stared at it for a few moments feeling even more nervous now. Riley picked up his phone and glanced at it quickly before turning back to the road.

 

“Room B71?” Riley asked. He didn’t need to elaborate on it. I nodded and he smiled. “Looks like we’re working together for your first one.”

 

We’d hit the long stretch of road to the Triskelion. With every passing second, my nerves grew. Doubt began to gnaw at me. I wasn’t ready for this. I was barely able to hit Natasha most mornings, let alone go into the field.  It wasn’t until Riley reached over and squeezed my hand that I jumped from my thoughts.

 

“You’ll be fine,” Riley reassured me yet again. “Just remember your STRIKE Team Delta. The baddest fuckers in SHIELD. You didn’t get assigned to them for no reason. Pretty soon you’ll be just as terrifying as Romanoff.”

 

“Thanks, I think,” I laughed lightly at Riley’s words. It didn’t stop my nerves, but it did calm me down a little I need to stop doubting myself so much. I’d gotten through everything SHIELD had thrown at me so far. I could do this as well. Especially if what Riley had said was true.

 

There was a line of cars as we got into the garage. I didn’t miss the unmistakable sound of Natasha’s Corvette in front of us. This presented me with a new set of nerves. While Clint and Natasha both knew I’d gone home with Riley. No one else would. I was just about to get out of the car with him in front of strangers. While it was no one’s business what we did in our own time. I was pretty sure stepping out of the car with a guy I barely knew was going to raise a few eyebrows. I was very aware of what implications were going to be thrown around. The last thing I wanted was to get a reputation for being easy early in my career. 

 

“So.” I decided to bring it up with Riley. “How many eyebrows is this going to raise with me getting out of the car with you?”

 

“A few.” Riley shrugged not looking worried in the slightest. “It will be more the fact I’m actually being seen with a girl. There might be a few jealous looks thrown my way because I’m talking to the new hot chick. You and Romanoff are the only female STRIKE personal. The fact you’re around causes eyebrows to be raised.”

 

“You took the new hot chick home.” I pointed out with a small smile. “After getting her completely trashed off tequila.”

 

“No, I gave you beer between the tequila,” Riley corrected with a laugh. “I had nothing to do with actually giving you tequila. That was all Barton and Romanoff. Speaking of which, Barton is behind us.”

 

I turned around to look at the car behind us. It wasn’t the usual sports car, but it was still a very nice Chevrolet Impala. Clint had his elbow on the open window, leaning his head in his hand looking completely bored.

 

“Someone doesn’t look happy.” I faced the front again. “I guess he had other plans for a Sunday afternoon.”

 

“Welcome to the life of a SHIELD agent,” Riley said dryly moving the car forward to scan his ID. “Gotta admit, we could have been doing something better.”

 

“Oh, and what’s that?” I asked innocently.

 

“You’ll just have to find out when we get back,” Riley said smugly. “After all, I now have a smoking hot girlfriend. I may just be enjoying that.”

 

“Should I leave before she gets here?” I teased but couldn’t stop myself laughing. Girlfriend. That was definitely another new thing in my world. Something I could quite easily get used to hearing. 

 

“Hilarious.” Riley pulled a face at me. “You ready for this?”

 

Riley had parked his car without me really noticing the drive into the garage. I went to reply, but Clint banged on the window, making me jump. 

 

“Fuck off,” I mouthed at him, sending my middle finger up in his direction. I was hoping for another minute with Riley before we got out of the car.

 

“I can lip read you know,” Clint’s voice was slightly muffled through the closed window. “Let's go, this one is going to be fun.”

 

“Barton’s idea of fun and my idea of fun are two very different things.” Riley cringed but he still smiled. “I’ll be right behind you.”

 

“All right.” I opened the door and got out. I grabbed my jacket from the seat and turned to Clint. “Hi, where are we going and what are we doing?”

 

“Nervous?” Clint asked looking a little smug. He completely ignored my greeting and questions. I just shot him a glare that I’d learnt off Natasha. “Yep, you’re nervous. Let’s go.”

 

I didn’t get a chance to protest as Clint walked off. I was right beside him in three steps. Natasha was walking not too far ahead of us. 

 

“Nat,” Clint called out. She pulled up and just waited until we’d caught up with her. I had to do a double take when I saw what she was wearing. It certainly wasn’t anything issued with my SHIELD uniforms. It was a skin tight black catsuit with combat boots. At first glance, it looked like it was made from lycra. But the material was definitely not lycra. No doubt a material only SHIELD could come up with. I was more envious of her curves than ever seeing her dressed in that.

 

“Hey,” Natasha said as we all fell into step. “Ready for this?”

 

“I don’t even know what this is yet,” I said looking between them. “All I got was a phone call from Coulson telling me to get my ass in here.”

 

“It’s nothing super exciting, but it’ll still be fun.” Clint explanation didn’t help in the slightest. “Coulson probably thought it’d be a nice easy one to break you in. By the way, have you been home yet?”  
  
“Yes, I went home to get changed,” I said defensively knowing exactly where this line of questioning was going. “And no, I haven’t slept with him yet and I hope you lost another $100. Stop betting stupid shit.”

 

This time it was Clint holding out his hand to Natasha. She shot both of us an irritated glare and folded her arms.

 

“Now who’s smug?” Clint’s grin was definitely the cat eating the canary proud. “You were so sure of it this time Nat. Thanks, Kari, love your work.”

 

“Don’t you two have anything better to do than to bet about my sex life?” I couldn't be mad at either of them. It was funny the way they’d just accepted me into their lives without any hassle. I could put up with the mild teasing along with getting me drunk and hitting me with drugs. 

 

“Yes, but its fun and you blush so easily.” Clint draped a casual arm around my shoulders. “Besides, it's fun having someone new with us. We aren’t allowed to torment the new recruits. Or speak to them really.”

 

“I can’t even imagine why,” I said sarcastically. “After all, I’m sure you two always play by the rules.”

 

“Always,” Natasha and Clint said at the same time.

 

Why did I get a terrible feeling that I was going to end up just like both of them? The scarier thing was, I didn’t think I was going to mind that at all. 

 

I thought by walking into a pre-mission brief everyone was going to be serious. I was wrong, it was like walking into a classroom before the teacher arrived. Everyone was noisy. Someone was throwing Skittles into someone else’s mouth. A few guys were quiet, but the general vibe of the room was excitement. There was no calm before the storm. STRIKE Team Bravo was pumped and ready to go. My nerves increased, along with a sudden spike of adrenaline. This was it. This was the real deal right here and now. I sat between Natasha and Clint, trying not to fidget in impatience. Riley had taken a seat a few rows down with a dark haired guy. Whatever they were talking about, the guy was laughing and Riley was shaking his head.

 

“Everyone sit and shut up.” Coulson commanding tone made the room quiet down instantly. Another agent walked into the room with him. “This is going to have to be quick, so pay attention. Agent Evans will run you through this brief.”

 

The room was eerily silent as Agent Evans and Coulson walked to the front of the room. Like so many briefs I had sat in on, the overhead projector came to life as Agent Evans spoke.

 

“As Agent Coulson just said, this is going to be fast and furious so we need to get moving ASAP. STRIKE Team Bravo, we have STRIKE Team Delta providing cover and a lift there. Agent Lyngley is new to their team and yes we’ve all heard about her, so behave. First and only warning gentlemen.”

 

Next to me, Natasha stifled a small laugh as my cheeks burnt with embarrassment. At least I was spared from all the eyes in the room looking back at me in curiosity. Agent Evans continued as a satellite image came onto the screen.

 

“At 1345 today we received intel from an agent undercover in an arms operation that one of the key players will be showing his face tonight. The intel is solid so we’re making our move tonight in downtown Chicago. The area is the usual abandoned warehouse type setting. You know the one we all love to deal with.”

 

There was quiet laughter ripple through the room. The satellite image changed to a grainy shot of a  man. The picture didn’t give much detail, except for the very distinct scar running down his face.

 

“This player is Andro Musil. Croatian dealer who’s been shipping a lot of Stark weaponry around the globe. Most of it is stolen and he’s been playing his hand in classified information gathering as well. The meeting tonight has been fabricated after months of an agent being undercover so this is the only shot we get at this people.”

 

I frowned listening to the brief explanation. There felt like there was so much more story behind this than we were being told. Then it struck me. Compartmentalisation. SHIELD loved that big word. No one could spill all the secrets because not everybody knew them. I’d only come in as a level four agent. It the lowest clearance they could give me with working with Natasha and Clint. They were both level seven.

 

“Agent’s Barton and Hunterton will provide cover from these buildings.” Agent Evans pointed as the image changed back to a close up satellite image. “STRIKE will cover from all sides and breech on Barton’s mark. Our insider will drop as soon as STRIKE infiltrates, so anyone standing is a threat. This is a live fire mission, kill orders issued. No prisoners or hostages. Any questions?”

 

Everything was so simple. No grand detailed plans. Just a plain shoot and kill. Nothing else. My nerves hit me harder than before. What the hell had I gotten myself into? All of a sudden doing a boring job like the catering run to Antartica sounded a lot safer. 

 

“Who’s our insider?” Someone from STRIKE Team Bravo asked.

 

“Melinda May,” Coulson supplied. “You all know her. Anyone shoots her by accident will have to answer to her.”

 

“Oh good Cookies will be there,” Clint snickered quietly. “This will be fun.”

 

Note to self, don’t call Agent May by that nickname. Knowing Clint it was probably going to be something she hated. 

 

“Anything else?” Agent Evans asked looking around the room. “Good, wheels up in 30 minutes. Let's go people.”

 

“Agent Hunterton, come and see me before you go please,” Coulson put in as everyone started to stand. “You too Kari.”

 

Uh oh. We were in trouble. I didn’t miss the guilty look that Riley shot back to me.

 

“Meet you in the hanger.” Clint gave my shoulder a squeeze. “I’ll bring you something nice.”

 

I had no idea what he was talking about. I nodded my consent anyway. Here’s hoping it was coffee. I walked to the front of the room, ignoring all the curious looks being thrown my way as I passed the STRIKE Team. Riley was already waiting up the front, standing in front of Coulson and Agent Evans with his arms crossed. I stood next to him, putting my hands in my pockets not quite sure what to do with myself.

 

“So I got a really interesting photo sent to me yesterday morning,” Coulson started, leaning back against the desk. “Which one of you wants to explain it to me?”

 

“Natasha decided to get me drunk off tequila and made me throw up,” I said nervously. “Umm, am I in trouble?”

 

“You aren’t.” Coulson had a small smile on his face. “Agent Hunterton may be though because he knows the rules. You don’t.”

 

Oh shit. Maybe Natasha was wrong with what she had said about relationships at work? Maybe this really was a big no and we had just caused a big problem.

 

“Riley?” Agent Evans looked at him expectedly. “This is the last thing I expect from you.”

 

“I promise I will never drink tequila again?” Riley tried with a sheepish smile on his face. He received a near identical unamused expression from both Coulson and Evans. “And we’ll sign all the proper paperwork tomorrow morning?”

 

“Good answer.” Agent Evans nodded not before sending me a sly wink. “This is going to be one hell of a story on beer night isn't it?”

 

“You have no idea,” Riley shook his head in amusement. The relief was clear on his face that netter of us was in trouble for this.

 

“Am I going to have any issues with you two working together today?” Coulson asked.

 

“No, Sir,” I said quickly at the same time as Riley spoke. 

 

“Absolutely not, Sir.”

 

“Good, dismissed Agent Hunterton.” Coulson turned to me. “We’ll go over the plan for you this afternoon on the way to the Quinjet.”

 

Riley left without another word, Evans tailing right after him. Just before they left the room, Evans barely concealed a chuckle and gave Riley a hard slap on the back. They were too far away for me to hear what was actually said.

 

“Paperwork?” I said in a small voice once they’d both left the room.

 

“It’s just a form SHIELD makes you sign to say you’re in a relationship and you understood the rules that come with it,” Coulson explained. “It’s not really an issue for you two. You won’t be working closely together that much. It’s a bit of a funny coincidence that this has happened.”

 

“Yeah, hilarious.” I felt myself relax a little more. “I thought I was in big trouble there for a second.”

 

“No, you weren’t, but the look on your face was a bit priceless. I couldn’t help myself but to drag it out a little,” Coulson admitted with a small laugh. His expression quickly turned serious again. “How are you feeling?”

 

“I’m not sure if I’m nervous or excited,” I admitted. “It’s swinging around being both. Am I just the pilot today?”

 

“No, you’re a bit more than the pilot today,” Coulson said motioning for us to move. I fell into step next to him. “I didn't expect to put you in this situation so quickly. But this came up and it’s a fairly straightforward mission. So I’m going to put you up in the nest with Barton and he can talk you through everything. You’ll have an earpiece so you can hear everything going on with the ground units. You can sit up there with a sniper rifle, I heard you’re a decent shot with one of them. But I don’t expect you to need it. This should be a quick in and out, all wrapped up nicely and home for a late dinner.”

 

“That’s it?”

 

“That’s it,” Coulson confirmed. “Unless you’d really like to go in with Natasha. I can’t guarantee you won’t get shot if you do that.”

 

“I think I’ll be happy enough sitting there with a sniper rifle,” I said quickly. Getting shot on my first mission probably wasn’t the best start to field work.

 

“Good.” Coulson nodded looking pleased. “How’s everything been going? I’m sorry I haven’t been around a lot this last week. With Clint and Natasha stuck at the Triskelion at the moment I’ve been running some other missions with teams.”

 

I’d been too busy to notice Coulson’s unexplained absence. Neither Clint or Natasha had brought it up so it was just another thing pushed from my mind.

 

“Well, Nat’s idea of teaching me to fight is to just punch me and see how I handle it.” I smiled, which came out more as a grimace. “Hawk has been a bit more helpful. He’s trying to teach me to shoot a bow with both hands and I’m just not that coordinated.”

 

“You’ll get there, that I’m sure of.” Coulson smiled back. Unlike my smile, his was full of confidence. “Today will be good for you. It’s about an easy as it gets.”

 

I really hoped so. 

 

“I have complete faith in you,” Coulson continued. “I wouldn’t have let you tag along if I had any doubt in my mind you couldn’t do this.”

 

“Thanks, Coulson.” It was good that Coulson was trusting me with this so early on. His confidence gave me a sliver of hope I was going to be fine. “Can’t let STRIKE Team Delta down can I?”

 

“No, and you never will. By the way who stole the truth serum from R&D?”

 

“Hawk.”

 

I had no problems with throwing Clint to the sharks about that one. I never wanted to be stuck with truth serum ever again.

 

“Thank you.” Coulson looked smugly happy about that piece of information. “And I will go and get coffee I go sit in the control room to get ready for this.”

 

“And I will go and do my pre-flight so we don’t crash and die before this mission.”

 

“That would be much appreciated.”

 

I chewed my nails as I ran through my pre-flight checklists as soon as I got to the hanger. My first mission. My first time flying the Quinjet unsupervised. My first boyfriend in a very long time. Today was really being full of first things for me. 

 

The sound of boots on metal made me glance back. No one was due here for another ten minutes. I was nearly ready to power up but the hanger and jet both remained empty. The boots in the back belonged to Clint. He had two cases in his hands.

 

“Do you prefer a Glock or P30?” Clint asked picking up the first case and stowing it away at the top of the seats. “I got both, Nat prefers the Glock 26 but I like the P30 because of the extra weight. It feels better to fire in my hand.”

 

“P30,” I said turning my chair to look at Clint properly. He was dressed in what I’d now figured as standard STRIKE tactical uniform. Except his shirt was cut off at the sleeves leaving his arms free. He’d already pulled on a wrist guard and had his armoured finger tabs on. I’d seen both of them in training. “Whats in the other case?”

 

The first case I recognised as his collapsible bow. He shot with it in training a few times instead of his training bows. It had a laser sight on it, along with the compatibility to use with his trick arrows. Which were now sitting in its quiver strapped in with the case.

 

“?hat is your AWSM” Clint explained. “I was going to get you the Barrett M107, but I figured if we needed to move in a hurry you didn’t need a rifle that is half your body weight.”

 

“I’m not that skinny.” I turned back to the controls and powered the Quinjet up. “Coulson said I’ll be sitting up in the nest with you for this one.”

 

“Yeah, we won’t see much action tonight,” Clint reassured me as he came and sat next to me. “You’ll be fine. Just do me a favour and when I tell you to do something, don’t argue just do it.”

 

“I’m not in the position to argue,” I said instantly. I was a good girl at following orders and rules. Today wouldn’t change that. “I will do as I’m told.”

 

“Good.” Clint flashed me a smile. “The first one is always the hardest. No matter what it is. First mission, first kill.”

 

“I don’t imagine I’ll be killing anyone anytime soon.” I pointed out. “It's not exactly my area of expertise.”

 

“And hopefully it won’t become your area of expertise either.” Clint looked so casual sitting in the co-pilot seat with his hands behind his head. He had a little smirk on his face. “So, did you get in trouble?”

 

“No Riley got in trouble.” I corrected Clint. “Not big trouble anyway, because now I’m his girlfriend we’re going to be doing the right thing and signing paperwork tomorrow.”

 

“Girlfriend hey?” A grin spread over Clint’s face. “That didn’t take long.”

 

“Everything in my life feels like it’s on fast forward.” I fiddled with a few controls to distract myself from my nerves. “It only seemed like yesterday I was sitting at the back of rooms listening to mission briefs. And here I am going on my first one.”

 

“Then think of it this way, you don’t have a huge drawn out suspense of it happening.” Clint could always find a positive to most situations. I was glad for it today. “I did two years at the Academy and it was this huge process to even get into the field. You know exactly when it's going to start happening and the nerves just build up until that moment. This way you don’t have a lot of time to get really nervous.”

 

“Yeah, I remember when Jared did his first field assignment while he was still in the Academy, he was so nervous beforehand he couldn’t stop puking.” I grimaced at the memory. “In return, I spent the day before it throwing up as well.”

 

“Are you guys that close?” Clint’s eyebrows shot up a little. “Like you can feel each other getting hurt?”

 

“Depends on the circumstances. If it’s something like really bad nerves then yeah we feel either. Or if one of us is hurt pretty badly. But my nerves right now wouldn’t be something Jared could pick up. He probably doesn't even have a clue whats going on,” I explained. It felt strange to be saying this so openly. “Jared can teleport directly to me. That I can’t explain. He says its like a pull he can automatically feel if he concentrates on me.”

 

“That’s really cool.” Clint looked impressed. “That might come in handy later on. Do you need to practice your powers to make them better? Or does it just come naturally.”

 

“No, it’s like anything, you have to practice.” I felt a little awkward talking about my powers still. Clint seemed to love to talk about them. “If you haven’t noticed, I don’t use mine a lot.”

 

“I did notice actually.” Clint looked at me carefully, like he was trying to find an answer to a question.“I wondered what the polite way to bring it up was that you need to practice with that as well. It’ll come in handy in the field.”

 

“Who’s going to help me with that?” I pursed my lips. I knew Clint was right. It was an odd subject that I didn’t feel entirely comfortable about still. “It’s not like Professor X’s school where you have classes for it.”

 

“No idea, but if you like I can throw water balloons at you and we can see how quick you can freeze them,” Clint suggested with a brief chuckle. “I’m just throwing the idea out there. You told me that day at the range your invisibility was hard to maintain, so you need to work on it. My guess is that it’s just like using your muscles. If you don’t use them everything is hard at first. But the more you work it the better it gets.”

 

Clint had a very good point. The reason Jared found teleporting so easy was because he did it all the time. Even when he wasn’t supposed to. I used to be able to stay invisible for nearly an hour without much effort when I was younger. I froze a pond solid in the middle of summer when we were out on the ranch one year. It wasn’t until I was in high school that I’d stopped doing it for fun. I could go months without using my powers and not give it a second thought. But in re,turn it was harder to do things.

 

“If I let you help me with that I have one rule,” I said seriously. Clint nodded looking thoughtful and listening intently to what I was about to say. “I swear if you make any jokes about using the force, or any other Star Wars reference I’m going to freeze your nuts off. I am not telekinetic.”

 

Clint burst out laughing, me only a second after him. 

 

“I wouldn’t have even thought about that, but I promise I’ll refrain.” Clint held his hands up in surrender while still laughing. “Can I ask you where your super suit is though?”

 

“Only if you get me the same thing Natasha is wearing.”

 

“I can arrange that. Do you want it in black or black?” Clint grinned.

 

“Let me get back to you on that one, I’m not sure which shade of black I want to go with.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 3rd June 2018


	12. Chapter 12

The closer we flew to Chicago the more my excitement increased and my nerves started to dwindle. Clint would be there the entire time with me. Just like he was now, sitting in the co-pilot chair keeping me occupied. Natasha would slip in first to take out Andro Musil, the leader of the group, to cause panic and make people scatter. From there the STRIKE team would converge from all four sides of the building and take the rest of his crew out. There was estimated to be between 12 to 20 other men to be in the building with him. When we were only ten minutes out everyone stood up and started to get weapons out. 

 

“So Riley.” One of the guys from Bravo team asked. “What did Agent Coulson want with you?”

 

“Nothing exciting.” Riley shrugged as he put his sniper rifle together. The CheyTac M200 was huge and I was envious looking at it. That weapon had one of the best accuracies over crazy distances. Maybe if I asked nicely he might let me have a play of it one day at the range. 

 

“Nothing exciting?” The STRIKE guy teased. “Come on you’re the golden boy, you never get in trouble. Spill.”

 

“No,” Riley laughed with a stubborn shake of his head. “I wasn’t in trouble either.”

 

“Agent Lyngley.” Another guy called from the back. I glanced over my shoulder and raised an eyebrow in question. He was the same person who’d been sitting with Riley during the mission briefing. “You were there as well, what did he get in trouble for?”

 

“I’m so not telling,” I snorted and turned back to the controls again. I didn’t have a lot to do until we were ready to land but I didn’t want to get dragged into this conversation. Clint was watching me carefully with a small smirk on his face. He knew exactly what Coulson wanted but wasn’t saying anything.

 

“You both suck,” the second guy grumbled. “Lyngley, you’re related to Jared?”

 

“Yep, he’s my brother,” I said simply. I glanced at the windscreen and was watching through the reflection. The guy who was speaking was seriously hot. He was Riley’s height, muscly and dark haired with what looked to be a permanent 5 o’clock shadow. He looked to be about Riley’s age.

 

“Older or younger?”

 

“Older, 25 minutes we’re twins,” I explained, wondering why the sudden interest in me.

 

“Cool, can you teleport too?”

 

“Why does everyone assume I can teleport?” I rolled my eyes in annoyance. I got asked that a lot. “No, I can’t teleport.”

 

“So, are you our new beer cooler at keg parties?”

 

“My god, you’re nosy.” I ignored the question. Everyone would know by now what I could do. It was no secret.

 

“Well, you aren’t exactly being open about it,” the guy grumbled. He wasn’t being an asshole and I could hear the definite tease in his tone. Riley wasn’t jumping to stop it either so I’m guessing he got on well with this guy. “Come on, tell me exactly what you can do? Or are the rumours all true?”

 

“My powers make me a nymphomaniac,” I said calmly chewing on the inside of my cheek so I didn’t burst out laughing. Clint made a gurgling sound in his throat and chewed on his nails to cover his own amusement. Natasha who had been sitting in the chair just behind me coughed quietly. There was silence in the back of the Quinjet for a good long moment.

 

“Well, that’s pretty cool, got a boyfriend?” He paused for a second. “And are you being serious?”

 

“Yes, and no,” I finally let myself laugh. “Yes, I can make things freeze and I really do have a boyfriend.”

 

At the mention of me saying I had a boyfriend, Riley couldn’t wipe his own smug smile off his face. He was sitting there quietly fiddling with a few parts on his sniper rifle. Clint shot me an amusement look at the casual mention of now having a boyfriend. Natasha kicked the back of my chair.

 

“Well, that sucks, on both accounts.” He sighed dramatically. “What’s his name?”

 

“None of your fucking business is what his name is,” I said smartly. “What’s your name? Since you’re being too rude to introduce yourself.”

 

“Sam, I’m the awesome one,” the STRIKE guy said promptly.

 

“All right children, let’s put a stop to this here before someone gets hurt and starts crying,” Clint broke in before I could start being snide. “Kari, try not to make STRIKE guys cry. It hurts their egos too much.”

 

Laughter broke out in the back. I shot Riley a quick grin before turning back to concentrating on landing. I’d been given exact coordinates to land on and there wasn’t a lot of room to manoeuvre in the tight space. It was on top of a relatively flat building and I’d have to be very careful putting it down. Hitting the cloaking I started to descend. The night was starting to fall so I put the night vision the cameras I could use to guide me.

 

“Ready?” Clint asked me unbuckling his harness.

 

“As I’ll ever be,” I said with a tight smile. “Just let me concentrate until I get this on the roof if that's ok?”

 

“You’re the pilot,” Clint said with a nod. “I’m not going to argue if you tell me to do anything with flying. I’m going to get my weapons ready.”

 

Natasha gave me a brief squeeze on the shoulder as she got up and followed Clint. She had been the quietest I’ve ever seen as soon as she walked into the Quinjet.

 

The landing was smooth and easy. Even though it was a tight squeeze on the room I had just enough room to manoeuvre it down. As soon as we landed I unbuckled myself and jumped up from my seat. My earlier nerves were back as I reached up to grab my case off Clint. He handed me an earpiece first which I fumbled with actually getting in my ear. The chatter of everyone around me instantly came in my ear. It was crystal clear, not like the usual fuzzy radios.

 

“This is yours,” Clint handed me the earlier promised P30 in a thigh holster. I strapped it on tightly, not sure I even had it on correctly. I was just copying where Clint wore his. I opened the case which held my sniper rifle and quickly started putting it together. I didn’t miss the looks being thrown my way from the STRIKE team. Most of them were looking amused at my choice of weapon. A few looked impressed. Riley was in the latter group.

 

“All right everyone, you know the plan,” Agent Evans spoke up. “Be safe. Keep radio chatter to a minimum while you get into position.”

 

“Let's go,” Clint said to me. “Load it when we get into position.”

 

“Okay.” My nerves kicked in again. They were worse than before. My stomach was churning enough that it started to make me feel nauseous. I quickly swallowed back the excess spit that seemed to accumulate in my mouth.

 

“See you after.” Natasha shot us both a quick smile before disappearing into the growing twilight. She was like a ghost the way she melted into the shadows. One minute she was there and next she was gone. Clint tapped me and motioned towards the ladder on the rooftop. We both took off at a steady jog. I didn’t miss Riley behind us, jogging the opposite way. I wish I’d found a discreet moment to say something to him. For my reassurance more than anything else. He’d done this a few thousand times and looked calm and confident. I was the only person who was nervous.

 

“STRIKE rollout,” Evan’s voice came over the radio.

 

“Yeah, I’m not listening to that.” Clint yanked his earpiece out as soon as we were out of eyesight. “If it gets too annoying, you can take it out until we’re in position. They’re waiting for my mark, so the chatter isn’t important to us.”

 

I complied pulling mine out as well. I could hear a lot of whispers and heavy breathing as STRIKE Team Bravo moved into position. I slung the rifle over my shoulder as Clint scaled the ladder first. I was close to him, hoping my sweaty palms wouldn’t make me slip and send us both crashing six stories down. The building we’d landed on was a huge warehouse. Looking around as I scaled the ladder the area was quiet. The old industrial area looking to be falling apart, ready to crumble into the river lapping at the docks. There were no cars around. No light. The area looked completely devoid of any kind of human life. There were plenty of rats and other scavengers. You could hear them scampering around the empty buildings. The scratching of claws in the air was like hearing gunshots it was that quiet.

 

My breathing was heavy by the time I made it to the bottom of the ladder. Clint grabbed me by the waist so I could jump the last few rungs. 

 

“Let’s go,” Clint said quietly pointing towards another warehouse about 200 feet away. “Keep to the buildings, stay on my heels.”

 

I was very glad I was fit enough to sprint after Clint and keep up. He wasn’t messing around to get to where we needed to go. Every footstep sounded loud in my head, but that could have also been the pounding of my heart. We made it to the building and Clint stopped, putting his fist in the air signalling me to do the same. I stopped dead in my tracks, Three steps behind him. Clint turned to me and put his fingers to his lips, motioning his hand towards our 3 o’clock. 

 

I nodded, pushing myself as far as I could up against the building. Nothing happened for 30 seconds. It was the longest 30 seconds of my life so far. If I didn’t know any better I would have tapped Clint on the shoulder and asked him what was going on. I got my answer as I heard the cars pull down the deserted road. They were going to drive straight past us. Clint was poised ready to sprint away.

 

I don’t know how I reacted the way I did. But I grabbed Clint’s arm, yanking us both back closer to the building. Clint clamped his hand over my mouth stopping any sound at all. I concentrated harder than I ever had in my life and went invisible making Clint invisible with me. I felt him shift and then jump slightly. But other than that he was rock still. The cars drove past us without anyone being wiser that we were both pressed up against the wall. As soon as the last of the taillights disappeared around the warehouse, Clint removed his hand from my mouth. I let out a quiet but very shaky breath and went visible again. I could feel myself shaking from the effort it took to stay invisible for that long, not to mention the adrenaline now pumping through my body.

 

“Good job.” Clint’s face was grim in the weak light. “That was close. I knew I brought you along for a good reason.”

 

“Here’s hoping,” I said taking in a few deeper breaths to get my bearings back 

 

“Let’s keep going, we need to get into position.” Clint kept to the edge of the building until we came to a smaller outbuilding. 

 

“Need a boost?” Clint asked motioning towards the roof of the outbuilding. It was attached to the larger warehouse. Probably an old storage shed. 

 

He had to be kidding. I thought we were getting on the roof with a ladder. Not climbing up like a cat on steroids. Thank god I wasn’t scared of heights or climbing. I had no idea how we were actually getting up on the roof of the warehouse. It was at least 15 feet up. 

 

“Up?” I said holding my arms up like a kid would ask for a boost. Clint grinned at me briefly, before getting down on one knee and offering his hand. Shit, he really was serious about this. I took a deep breath, stuck my foot in his hand and focused on the roof. The storage shed roof wasn’t that high, but if I missed it was going to hurt. There was a gutter that looked sturdy enough to grab onto and I could pull myself up from there. 

 

Clint’s boost was a lot more than I expected. It nearly overshot me from the gutter and I had a terrible moment of being suspended in the air with nothing to grab onto. My fingertips scrambled briefly until they connected with the cold metal. I sighed in relief, dangling off the gutter for a second before swinging myself up. Once I was safely on the roof I reached down, offering Clint a hand. He just shook his head and motioned for me to get back.

 

Taking a few steps back Clint took a running leap and managed to snag the gutter first go. His arm muscles buldged in his tight shirt as he pulled himself up beside me. He sighed in relief as he crouched next to me.

 

“That would have been bad if I missed,” Clint said quietly with a small chuckle of amusement. “Next part is going to suck a bit, so just hang on.”

 

I didn’t really have the breath to speak. My heart was still pounding from the brief scare of feeling like I wasn’t going to grab the gutter. Clint pulled his bow off his back and pressed a few buttons, making an arrow be pushed around in his quiver. He took the arrow out and fired up into the night air. I couldn’t even see what he was shooting at, but whatever he aimed for he hit. A rope fell from the top of the roof.

 

“Grab me” Clint ordered opening one arm. I didn’t hesitate. I threw my arms around his neck and let him grab me hard in a strange version of a one armed hug. Pushing another button on his bow, the rope started to retract quickly, sending both of us shooting up the building in a hurry. My stomach dropped at the sudden jolt, but it was over before I could panic about it. We were both safely on the roof. 

 

While Clint fiddled getting the grappling arrow back. I quickly sat down and started to set my sniper rifle up. I glanced through the scope and then recoiled in surprise at what I saw.

 

“What’s up?” Clint asked seeing my reaction. He looked like he was trying not to laugh at me.

 

“I have night vision on my scope?” I looked back through the scope to make sure I wasn’t seeing things. I definitely wasn’t. Along with night vision, I had a few other handy tools as well. “Plus windspeed, elevation, a compass and I’m not quite sure what else.”

 

“Welcome to SHIELD,” Clint said smugly. “We have all the cool toys. Yes, your scope automatically feeds back information to you that you need for a shot. Pretty neat huh?”

 

“Very.” I smiled in glee before looking through it again. After the initial shock of seeing it, the scope was actually very awesome. It had all the information needed for an accurate shot. All I had to do now was do the math in my head before actually taking the shot. If it was needed.

 

“Building on your 2 o’clock.” Clint fitted his earpiece back in and touched his ear. “Hawkeye in position. Stand by.”

 

“Copy that,” I murmured falling back into old habits. Riley was right, this was just like flying a mission. “Building 2 o’clock in sight.”

 

There was motion in the upper levels. It wasn’t hard to pick it, the building had the only lights on for miles. Through my scope, I could make out people moving around on the top floor. The building they had picked had huge windows right to the roof giving us a clear view of the mezzanine floor. They were closed in the cool night air. Another thing to take into account if I had to make a shot. The resistance from a glass pane would put the shot out ever so slightly.

 

“Tell me what you see?” Clint asked pulling a pair of binoculars from his pocket. He frowned and then smacked them against his hand a few times. “Work you touchy piece of shit. Oh, there we go. Put your earpiece in if you want.”

 

A dull light came up from the binoculars before disappearing again. Clint put them to his face and scanned the building. I took the opportunity to quickly shove my earpiece back in. It was quiet now, unlike the earlier chatter. 

 

“Four men.” I scanned the room again. “None our main target. All grouped around a table. One woman standing at 4 o’clock about five feet away from the table. The men are all armed with AK-47’s. A woman armed with a sidearm.”

 

“More men below,” Clint added “Estimate around 15.”

 

I glanced over at him wondering how he could pick that. Below the mezzanine, I couldn’t make out too much.

 

“IR,” Clint explained catching my gaze. “Counted the body heat signatures below. Tap the button on the left hand side of the scope to change the view.”

 

“Right hand side” Riley corrected over the radio. I jumped hearing his voice. I didn’t expect it at all. Clint frowned looking down at my sniper rifle. I searched for the button he spoke about and found it where Riley had said. On the right hand side. I looked at Clint with a raised eyebrow. It wasn't like him to miss those small details.

 

“I’m left handed.” Clint pointed out, a fact I well knew. “So mine are on the left hand side.”

 

It made perfect sense to me. I didn’t miss the barely covered snort of amusement over the radio from Riley. I looked through the scope again and blinked a few times to adjust my eyes to the bright red light. Clint was right, 15 people below in the building. I could see the bodies of the STRIKE force waiting in the shadows. A lone figure was crouching on the roof, right up in the right hand corner. It must have been Natasha. She was making her way along the roof to where ever her position was going to be.

 

“Car,” Clint murmured quietly swivelling around 45 degrees to get a better look. “It’s Andro Musil, three bodyguards with him. All wearing body armour. Heading right for the warehouse.”

 

I switched the view back to the night vision so I could keep an eye on the building. My mouth had gone dry at hearing that the target was approaching. I scratched under my chin trying to get some moisture happening but it didn’t help. 

 

There was silence over the radio as Clint and I watched the car pull up. Andro pulled up and was instantly surrounded by his bodyguards. The only way to hit him would have been a very lucky shot through one of the guards. He was smart enough to make sure he was covered all the way into the building.

 

“Heading your way Romanoff,” Clint said. “Get ready.”

 

Clint then reached up and tapped his earpiece again. He motioned for me to do the same. I tapped mine, closing off the communication channel but I could still hear what was happening.

 

“Don’t shoot unless it’s absolutely necessary,” Clint said firm voice leaving no room for argument. “If I need you to shoot something, don’t hesitate, take the shot. Even if it sounds like something really stupid, just do it.”

 

“Don’t shoot anyone and do as I’m told. Got it.” I tried to smile at Clint was it only half came onto my face. He gave me a reassuring smile.

 

“You’ll be fine, this will all be over in a few minutes.”

 

I hoped so. I didn’t trust my voice anymore so I just nodded before turning to look back through the scope. Andro had made it to the mezzanine floor with his guards and was sitting at the table. I was almost disappointed I wasn’t allowed to take a shot unless told. I had a perfect view of them right here. Through the powerful scope, I could make out every detail on his face. The scar was even uglier in person. It looked like someone had done a very messy job of sewing half his face back together. He was bald with heavy black eyebrows. His hard grey eyes were fixed on the person who he was talking to. 

 

“On my mark.” Clint reached up and opened his communication channel again. He was tense, one hand had gone down to finger his bow.

 

I held my breath. Nerves tingling with adrenaline now. Everything had gone very quiet. Even the thumping of my heart had quietened down. 

 

Andro suddenly slumped forward. Not before I got a good eyeful of the bullet that ripped through his head. The female dropped to the floor instantly. I only caught the briefest glance of Natasha and she repelled down from the roof, rope attached to her waist. Both guns out and shooting as she went.

“Mark,” Clint said. 

 

Clint dropped the binoculars, kicking the bow up into his hands. Before I could blink he’d notched an arrow and fired it. A second later, one of the bodyguards staggered forward before collapsing. A black fletched arrow sticking through his neck. It was such a flawless shot. Especially for how quick Clint would have sighted the target. Seeing him in practice and now seeing him in action was two totally different things. He’d fired and killed all three bodyguards before I would have even been able to chamber a round and fire. 

 

“Barton you’ve got a straggler headed right for your position, heading right in front of you,” Riley’s voice came over the radio, along with the unmistakable sound of a .50 calibre being fired. 

 

I swung my rifle down so I could see who Riley was talking about. He’d been right. There was someone who was definitely not STRIKE running right towards the building we were perched on. 

 

“Yeah, no you don’t.” Clint’s bow followed the man before he let off the shot. The unmistakable thump of a body hitting the ground sounded loud to me. The gunshots from the building only sounded like distant pops. There were less and less shots as the seconds dragged on. Clint hadn’t let any more arrows off as he scanned the building. 

 

“Targets neutralised,” a voice came over the radio. “All threats down. Status report?”

 

It was very anticlimactic. We were in and done in less than three minutes. I hadn’t even got to put my finger anywhere near the trigger. The most excitement I’d had was going invisible against the building with Clint. 

 

“Let's go,” Clint said turning to me. He hadn’t even raised a sweat up. “See told you it was nothing to worry about.”

 

“I feel like I’ve just cheated,” I admitted feeling a bit deflated. “I sat here and did nothing.”

 

“You flew here which is a hell of a lot more than most people get to do on their first missions,” Clint chuckled offering me a hand to get up. I grabbed it and let him pull me to my feet. “And you saved us from being seen. How are you feeling?”

 

“Thirsty.” It was the first thing that came to mind. My mouth was still dry as hell. My tongue felt like it was covered in sand.

 

“At least you aren’t throwing up, that’s always a bonus.” Clint pointed out. “Right, now we need to get down. Are you happy just to climb down?”

 

“Climb down where?”

 

“The asshole in me wants to say jump down from window ledge to the window ledge, but I have a feeling you’d push me off one if I did that,” Clint laughed. “But I’ll just use the grappling hook again, we’ll just kind of slide down.”

 

By the time we’d made it off the roof, the ground was swarming with even more SHIELD agents. The cleanup crew were already well into the swing of things. Coulson here with the cleanup crew and was talking on the phone. He hung up as soon as Clint and I walked over.

 

“Good job.” Coulson produced two bottles of water for both of us. “No problems?”

 

“Minor issue before we got on the roof.” Clint shrugged taking a sip of water. “Kari dealt with it quickly though.”

 

“Explain.” Coulson didn’t look very impressed with Clint saying that.

 

“We were up against the building and a few cars came past,” Clint explained not looking the least bit concerned. “Kari grabbed me and went invisible, so neither of us could be spotted. It was quick thinking on her part.”

 

Coulson relaxed at Clint’s casual explanation.

 

“Good.” Coulson nodded looking pleased. “Kari, do you want to bring the Quinjet down here? We’ve cleared an area for you to land. It will save everyone climbing back on the roof. I’ll get someone to pop some flare markers for you.”

 

“Sure.” I looked to see if Clint was going to follow me. But he was already wrapped up in talking to Coulson. Agent Evans made his way over to them both. Natasha was no where to be seen and I suddenly felt lost without anyone here holding my hand. I’d been guided with everything for the last month and a bit. Now I had to do something by myself it was a weird feeling. I shouldered my rifle and started the walk towards the building where the cloaked Quinjet was still sitting. The earpiece had gone quiet so I pulled the uncomfortable thing out of my ear. That was something that was going to get hard to get used to. 

 

“You look completely lost.” Riley fell into step beside me. I hadn’t seen him approach in the darkness around me.

 

“All of a sudden I’m doing something unsupervised and I feel weird,” I admitted with a small smile. It was good to see him, especially unscathed. “I’m bringing the Quinjet down. Want to come with me?”

 

“Sure.” Riley shouldered his own weapon a little higher. “I can get rid of this thing too.”

 

“It’s a very sexy sniper rifle.” I grinned eyeing off the CheyTac. “Can I play with it?”

 

“I would love to see you shooting it.” Riley grinned backed. “That would be very hot. Why do you have the AWSM?”

 

Riley pointed to my own sniper rifle on my back. I’d barely noticed I still had it. It was a lot lighter than I thought it would be. I didn’t really feel it on my back as I carried it.

 

“Hawk thought it’d be a good idea to give me something light,” I explained feeling self conscious all of a sudden about the choice of weapon. “What’s wrong with it?”

 

“Nothing at all,” Riley said straight away. “Just no one else seems to use it. That’s the only one in the armoury. Same as my CheyTac. Most guys use the M24’s instead. The AWSM is an awesome weapon though. I’ve used it a few times.”

 

“Guess its mine now,” I had no problem claiming the weapon as mine. The lightweight sniper rifle was probably the best choice for me. There’s no way I could lug around a 35 pound weapon along with all the ammo to go with it.  “I should put my name on it so no one touches it.”

 

“I’m not sure if that’s really hot or really scary,” Riley laughed at me. “I’m going with the former.”

 

“So, did you get to shoot yours?” I asked slowing down, enjoying the easy conversation. As cheesy as it sounded, I’d missed him in the small time we’d been apart.

 

“Yeah, I got one guy.” Riley looked mildly disappointed. “Every time I had someone lined up Barton would get them. My manhood feels very compromised.”

 

“Poor baby,” I teased lightly. “Do you need your ego stroked a bit to make you feel better?”

 

“Please.” Riley pouted sticking his bottom lip out. “Then again, at least it wasn’t you kicking my ass out there. Then I’d feel like I should just cut my balls off and hand them over.”

 

“I’ll put them in my purse nice and safe,” I laughed at the silly pout he had on his face.

 

“The fact you own a purse is amusing,” Riley teased back. “Do you have matching shoes for it?”

 

“I have matching shoes for everything,” I sad seriously. I wasn’t joking either. “I love shoes and nice clothes. Sorry to disappoint but I am a girl and there are some girly things that I like.”

 

“I should have known from the nice outfit the other night.” Riley grinned. “Not that I’m complaining. Do you have nice shoes to go with those short shorts you were wearing today?”

 

“No, but I do have nice shoes that match the new lingerie set I just brought,” I teased him again. “You might even get to see it one day.”

 

“Tease.”

 

“You have no idea,” I laughed. We’d come up to the building the Quinjet was parked on. I sighed and started to climb the ladder up to it. Riley was right behind me. I was beginning to feel tired now. Every rung on the ladder seemed to get harder and I was sweating heavily by the time I reached the roof. It was a relief to walk back into the Quinjet, it took me a moment of fumbling to actually find it. The Quinjet had a control panel on the outside which deactivated the cloaking while on the ground. Ian had made me go around blindfolded one day until I got it every single time. My shins and knees had hated him that day.

 

Uncloaked and ramp open, I sighed in relief as I walked up relieving myself of my weapons. I went to start disassembling the AWSM but Riley took it off me.

 

“I’ve got it, you just get back on the ground.” He smiled, his hand lingering on mine. “The sooner we get in the air, the sooner we can go home. I don’t know about you but I’m starving.”

 

My stomach agreed with him, very loudly. I hadn’t realised I was hungry until Riley mentioned food. 

 

“Apparently I am too,” I chuckled and relinquished my weapon to him. “All right, just give me a minute.”

 

I powered the Quinjet up, running over it quickly to make sure everything was working correctly. Putting us back in the air, I did a careful 180 scanning the area for new my landing spot. It was just to the left of the building that had been stormed. Riley had both of our weapons packed up quickly and he came up to the cockpit, leaning on the co-pilot seat.

 

“Is it hard?” Riley asked as he watched me handle the controls. “Flying the Quinjet I mean.”

 

“No, it’s a piece of cake.” I smiled taking my turn deliberately wide to give me just another minute in the air. “It's a lot of fun actually.”

 

“So if I let you fire my CheyTac will you teach me how to fly?”

 

“Done.” I didn’t have to think about that at all. 

 

“Sweet.” Riley looked extremely happy at my easy acceptance.  “What do you want for dinner?”

 

“Food?” I supplied unhelpfully. “My place or yours?”

 

“I was kind of thinking we could go out somewhere?” Riley asked suddenly looked a little unsure of himself. “If you aren’t too tired by the time we get back.”

 

“As long as I’m with you, I don’t really care where we go,” I said to Riley, feeling a little bit shy at my bold statement. It was worth it. I don’t think Riley’s grin could have gotten any wider. 

 

“I am craving steak, like a massive steak,” Riley said. “How about you?”

 

“Oh baby, you’re talking my language.” I’d always be up for a steak. “I’m a carnivore at heart.”

 

I looked down to where my landing area was marked out. I was right over the top of it so I started to descend to the ground. I wasn’t flying far off the ground and I could see a small group already waiting. 

 

“So you can fly jets, shoot good enough for Hawkeye himself to trust you with a sniper rifle, love steak and beer. Can I just let you know I think you’re the most awesome girl in the world right now?”

 

“I know.” I grinned up at Riley to cover my embarrassment at the praise. “I’m too awesome to resist.”

 

“That you are.” Riley laughed at my cocky statement. He glanced out of the window and I didn’t miss the brief look of disappointment coming across his face. “How long will it take us to get home?”

 

“About an hour.” The Quinjet landed with a soft thump on the ground. I hit the control to open the ramp from the cockpit. “Do you have plans when you get home Agent Hunterton?”

 

“I was kind of hoping after dinner, do you want to stay the night again?” Riley asked quickly, glancing back to make sure we were still by ourselves. He smiled at my cheek, but didn’t play the game.

 

“I’ll grab clothes for work tomorrow on the way back to your place.”  

 

Riley didn’t need to ask twice. Falling asleep with him was going to become one of my favourite things. I loved cuddling up to him, and waking up to him wrapped around me. 

 

“Umm?” It was Sam’s voice that interrupted us as he walked up the ramp. “Seriously Riley, what the fuck?”

 

“Snooze you lose, man,” Riley said smoothy, pushing himself off the co-pilot chair. 

 

I laughed as I turned my chair around to look in the back. Clint and Natasha were both walking up the ramp, Coulson behind them with the female I saw in the building. That must have been Melinda May.

 

“You said you had a boyfriend,” Sam looked between me and Riley with his mouth hanging open slightly. Shock couldn’t begin to describe the look on Sam’s face right now.

 

“I do. I also told you his name was none of your business,” I said simply. 

 

“How the fuck did you manage that?” Sam turned to gawk at Riley, looking genuine flabbergasted about this. I had to stop myself laughing at Sam. He really looked like he had no idea how Riley had managed to talk to me, let alone date me. 

 

“I’ve been on medical leave, working in the office with Jared.” Riley shrugged with his explanation. “Kari needed a lift home a few times. This is who’s text message I was waiting for that you assholes all teased me about.”

 

“So while we were slogging our asses around Baghdad in the middle of summer you're banging…” Sam got cut off by Natasha.

 

“Hey.” Natasha looked mildly pissed off. “If it was me you were talking about, would you finish that sentence?”

 

“No Agent Romanoff,” Sam said quickly looking away from Natasha’s glare. 

 

“Then why do you think it’s acceptable to say it about Agent Lyngley?” Natasha pressed, crossing her arms as she came to stand in front of Sam. 

 

“It’s not.” Sam had the good sense to look down at his feet. “My big mouth got carried away with me.”

 

That answer wasn’t good enough. Natasha stood there tapping her foot impatient waiting for Sam to finish.

 

“My apologises Agent Lyngley,” Sam said looking over towards me. “What I was about to say was rude and uncalled for. Its none of my business what or who you do in your spare time.”

 

“That’s better.” Natasha turned around and came to sit behind me again. I mouthed a quiet thanks to her which she just shrugged. Whatever Sam was about to say wouldn’t have bothered me that much. I’ve heard much worse in my time in the Air Force. Riley didn’t look pissed off either. He had a tiny smirk on his face the entire time as he settled into his seat.

 

“May, this is Kari.” Clint walked up with Agent May, plonking himself down in the co-pilot seat. “Kari this is Cookies.”

 

May was standing right behind Clint. At the sound of him calling her Cookies, she punched him hard in the shoulder. It was enough to make Clint flinch, so there had to be some force behind it.

 

“It’s still not funny even five years down the track Barton,” May said sharply, before turning back to me. Her tone changed instantly to friendly. “Nice to meet the smart twin. Shame you got put with this loser. Thankfully you have Natasha to keep you in line.”

 

I burst out laughing at how deadpanned May said that about Clint. She was the first person I’d met in SHIELD to not fawn over him. His reputation really did follow him around. And he did everything in his power to live up to that reputation too. Natasha didn’t have to say or do anything with her reputation. Her walking into a room was enough to scare most people who didn’t know her.

 

“Can we stop bantering and get home please?” Coulson came to stand behind my pilot’s seat “Some of us still have plans for tonight.”

 

“Hot date, Sir?” I asked casually powering the Quinjet getting ready to take off. Everyone was in, still fiddling around with actually being strapped in, but at least loaded. 

 

“You could say that.” Coulson gave nothing away. He and Agent May went and took seats in the back.

 

“The way you’re trying to get us into the air I’d say you have plans for tonight as well,” Clint teased me. “Where are you going?”

 

“Somewhere that will satisfy my carnivore cravings.” I really had no idea where Riley and I would be going. Beyond the few takeaway places close to home, I didn’t know anywhere else in DC.

 

“Joe’s is pretty awesome,” Clint said helpfully. “And if you go there, I’m tagging along.”

 

“Sure, Hawk just invite yourself to dinner, no problems,” I said sarcastically.

 

“Yeah didn’t think there would be a problem,” Clint answered smartly. “Nat, you coming?”

 

“You’re so fucking rude Barton,” Natasha own smart reply came. “What if Kari had plans to go with Riley? You know alone like some people like to do?”

 

“Where’s the fun in that?” Clint pulled his phone out flicking through his contacts. “I’ll book a table for six then.”

 

There was no arguing with Clint once he had his mind set to it. I looked back to Riley who’d been listening to the conversation looking like he was trying hard not to laugh. If things like this didn’t make him run off scared then I wasn’t sure what would. I felt my own smile tug at my lips.

 

“Sure, who’s ringing Jared?” I asked. “He never says no to steak.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited June 3rd 2018


	13. Chapter 13

I tentatively rapped on Coulson’s door chewing on my thumbnail while I waited for a response. I’d only sent him a text a few minutes ago, which he assured me he’d meet me here. Whether he was actually in his office yet was a good question. It was only 0645. Most of the Triskelion was only just starting to stir to life at this time of morning.

 

“Come in.” 

 

I tentatively opened the door and walked in, closing it with a quiet click behind me.

 

“Whats up?” Coulson asked. He was sitting behind his desk, coffee cup and bagel both in front of him. His laptop was open and unlike me he was dressed for the day. I was still dressed in my very sweaty workout clothes. This morning had been brutal. But I felt I’d at least made some kind of progress. I managed to land a sharp jab in Clint’s ribs. It was hard enough for him to wince. I was so surprised I’d actually done it I stood there gaping for a second. It was all he needed to grab me and throw me down on the ground. Natasha stood on the sidelines laughing her ass off at me as I lay on my back winded. 

 

“I, ah,” I stuttered not quite knowing how to put this into words. I stared back at my fingernails picking at them absently. It was my nervous habit. I either picked at my fingernails or chewed on them.

 

Coulson said nothing. He just sat there waiting patiently for me to speak.

 

“I got my roster emailed to me this morning,” I murmured feeling really stupid for what I was about to say. “I’ve got a few things coming up where I’m doing flights by myself.”

 

“Is that a problem?” Coulson asked gently. There was no judgement or surprise in his tone.  “From what I saw last night you’re more than competent to fly solo.”

 

“No, it’s not that.” I was really struggling to put this into words. Even in my own head it sounded ridiculous.

 

I’d never just been given a work roster and told to show up and do the flight by yourself. Especially with my roster had been vague on the actual details. Essentially I would be given whatever was happening on the day. All my life I’d followed orders and I always had someone with me. I’d never done anything by myself and all of a sudden I felt like a security blanket had been yanked from underneath me. Especially with everything in SHIELD still being so new. I was hoping to at least be stuck with the daily grind with Natasha and Clint for a bit longer yet. Despite being a team, we were all rostered on for different things as it came up. My roster had been all over the place compared to both of them. SHIELD seemed to want to cram as much flying time into me as possible.

 

“I’ve never done this kind of stuff by myself before,” I said in a small voice feeling very insecure. “I’ve always been with the squadron following what everyone else does. I’ve never really worked on my own before.”

 

“Sit,” Coulson said kindly. “Is that the only problem?”

 

I nodded, pulling the chair out and sitting across from Coulson.

 

“I keep forgetting that you’re so young still,” Coulson mused. “Have you never had a job outside of the Air Force?”

 

“No, this and the Air Force have been the only thing I’ve ever done,” I said. “Well, besides working on the ranch, but that’s family so it doesn't really count.”

 

It really didn’t. I only went out there while I was waiting for the Air Force because I got sick of being in New York. With my parents always working and Jared at the Academy, it’d been a new type of loneliness I’d never thought I’d experience. Being out on the ranch in Nebraska I didn’t really do any work. I think the hardest thing I’d done out there was fix a few fences and pull apart an old tractor to see if I could make it work again. I was a bit smug in the fact that my fences were still up, and that old John Deere was still going.

 

“The Air Force was all about doing as you were told. We had set working hours and all that type of thing but it was never just, oh here you go here’s your plane, have fun,” I kept going. “With that and basically having my day planned down to the exact minute in my training month of SHIELD. I feel a bit lost all of a sudden.”

 

“That’s normal,” Coulson assured me. “I’m actually glad to hear you unsure of something, to be honest.”

 

I looked at Coulson blankly. Before I could ask what he meant he continued speaking.

 

“You’ve done an expectational job over the last month.” Coulson gave me a small smile. “From every report, I’ve had you’ve not only coped but excelled at every challenge presented to you. Agent McNaught’s report of you was nothing short of glowing.”

 

I went back to picking my fingers feeling embarrassed. I still felt like I hadn’t done anything to distinguish myself over the last month. I’d only done what I needed to do to cope with my new life.

 

“Seeing these reports made me happy, but also a bit wary,” Coulson continued. “I was hoping that this was your way of coping, not just letting stress pile onto you and then you have a brain snap.”

 

“No brain snap.” I half smiled. “I’m too tired to have a brain snap, to be honest. And sore. I’ve never taken so much aspirin in my life.”

 

“Yeah, it won’t get much better from here,” Coulson said with a small laugh. “Sorry to disappoint you on that. Have you spoken to anyone else about this yet?”

 

“No, I haven’t been home to talk to Jared…” I started to trail off with the implication of my words. Sitting here in front of Coulson I felt like a teenager with my first boyfriend all over again.

 

We had all gone to dinner last night, minus Clint’s kids. I was exhausted by 2100 and Riley had taken me back to his place. We’d both passed out in bed nearly right away. When I’d woken up early this morning Riley was still fast asleep. So I had a quick shower and slipped out while he was still sleeping. He didn’t have to come in until 0800 this morning and I didn’t have the heart to wake him. Even for a good morning kiss.

 

“Which reminds me.”” Coulson reached over and grabbed a few sheets of paper from the printer. “You can sign this now. I’ll send it over to Evans, for Riley to sign as well.”

 

“All right,” I said tentatively taking the paper like it was going to bite me.

 

“Don’t look so nervous,” Coulson reassured me, yet again. There was a lot of reassuring me these days. “This part is all straightforward for you guys. It’s not like you’ll work closely together all the time. It’s more of a formality than anything else in your situation. Though quick word of caution. This goes back to your Mom in HR. You might want to let her know before she sees it.”

 

“I will.” I tried not to wrinkle my nose in disgust. I’d been so busy and tired I’d barely had time to send her off more than the very occasional text message.. She knew I’d been assigned to Natasha and Clint, but beyond that, I’d barely spoken of anything else to her. I hadn’t spoken to Dad in about three weeks. He was neck deep in something new at work and not even Mom could drag him away.

 

“To your problem, I can’t give you someone to take forever but this solves another issue I’ve been having.” Coulson looked thoughtful. “Barton has been wanting to learn to fly for ages. The problem has been finding someone who will deal with his shit and not be intimidated by who is he. He can tag along with you for a bit until you feel a bit more settled. In return, you can show him how to fly properly.”

 

I felt immediate relief at those few words. I was very glad I’d come to Coulson no matter how silly I’d felt. He hadn’t judged me at all. Even if I did feel like I was coming in here to ask him to have someone hold my hand for a little longer.

 

“Thank you, Sir,” I said softly with a small smile.

 

“You’re welcome.” Coulson smiled back. “Please don’t ever feel like you can’t come and talk to me. Even if you think its minor or silly, I’d rather know about it before it becomes a big issue. I can even handle tears if you bring me a coffee or doughnuts.”

 

I laughed quietly at Coulson’s last statement. I doubted very much he had to deal with tears very often. I hoped I wasn’t going to be the one that changed all of that. 

 

“What did you guys have planned for the rest of the day?” Coulson asked.

 

“I have no idea, to be honest.” I really didn’t. Like so much in my life, there’d been a few vague suggestions on what was happening today. “Hawk said something along the lines of playing Halo in the rec room while eating Cheezels. I’m not actually sure if he’s being serious or not.”

 

“Yeah, that’s his general after mission wind down.” Coulson looked a little pained. “He does it at work so he doesn’t get disturbed by the kids.”

 

“He doesn’t get disturbed by the kids or Laura doesn’t have to put up with her biggest kid?” I asked jokingly. The more time I spent with Clint’s wife the more I was really beginning to like her. Last night at dinner she insisted that I had to come around during the week for dinner and a girl catch up. The sly look she shot at Riley made me realise she wanted to hear all the gossip.

 

“It’s a bit of both,” Coulson laughed at my statement. “Enjoy the quiet day. Go home if you really want. Your roster doesn’t start until Thursday. Do you want to sign that first?”

 

I’d nearly forgotten about the paperwork sitting in front of me now. I quickly skimmed over it before signing on the line with my name printed underneath. It wasn’t anything too terrifying. As Coulson had said it was more of a formality for us. I did make note of the part that said relationships between partners, or within official teams were strictly forbidden. 

 

“Done.” I handed it back to Coulson with my own smile. Talk about making things very official. Now even SHIELD knew about our relationship.

 

“Thank you.” Coulson placed it to one side. “I’m guessing having a boyfriend means you’ve settled in pretty well?”

 

There was a definite teasing tone behind his words. The small smile I had now grown a little more despite the tease.

 

“He was a bit hard to resist,” I admitted shyly. “He kept Jared in line when he decided to give me bullshit answers. It was nice to have someone else to talk to besides Jared.”

 

“Why am I not surprised that Jared was feeding you bullshit?” Coulson mused with a shake of his head. “If Barton tells you something that sounds stupid. Double check it with Natasha. She’ll make sure he isn’t doing the same thing.”

 

“And if he is I’ll punch him, I managed to land one this morning,” I said proudly. “He knocked me straight down on my ass afterwards but I got one hit in.”

 

“Now just think what you’ll be able to do after six months.” Coulson looked as proud as I felt. “Go and enjoy your last bit of freedom. I’m up to my neck in paperwork at the moment.”

 

I didn’t need to be told twice. I had a feeling if I lingered too much longer I’d get stuck doing paperwork for Coulson. As I was leaving I sent a text to both Natasha and Clint asking them what the plan for the rest of the day was.

 

Clint was the first to reply. As usual. I don’t know how or where he learnt to type so quickly.

 

_STRIKE Rec Room, come play X-Box with me._

 

I shook my head at the reply. The more I got to know him, it was pretty clear Clint still acted like a teenager most of the time. Though he was deadly serious in training and missions, outside of that he acted more his shoe size than his real age of 29. I did as he requested though. A few minutes later I walked into the rec room.

 

It was pretty impressive. There was a massive flatscreen TV on both ends of the room. It was large enough so unless you had the volume up full bore you could comfortably watch both TV’s. On each TV had a few different game consoles, a DVD player and a DVD collection that even rivalled Jared’s.  Massive overstuffed couches along with a few beanbag chairs. Off to the side was a small kitchen, complete with a few different coffee makers. It was the first time I’d actually really come in here and looked around properly.

 

Clint was standing in the kitchen using a blender. He turned around when I walked in, spoon in his mouth with a guilty expression on his face.

 

“I thought you were Natasha for a second.” Clint pulled the spoon out of his mouth with a cheeky grin. “And I was about to get busted for stealing her peanut butter.”

 

“I promise I won’t dob on you. What are you making?” I asked walking over. Whatever he had in the blender looked like brown sludge. 

 

“Protein shake.” Clint took the jug off the blender and poured it into a cup. “Want some?”

 

“It looks like sludge.” I wrinkled my nose at the offered beverage. I’d noticed Riley drank something that looked very similar after he’d been at the gym. I don’t think I could bring myself to drink something that looked like mud.

 

“It tastes good.” Clint shook the cup in front of my face.“Go on try it.”

 

I reluctantly took the cup and eyes the contents warily. I took a tiny sip, ready to spit it out in case it tasted terrible. It didn't taste terrible at all. I took another drink, a bigger one this time savouring the taste. I don’t know how Clint had done it but it tasted just like Reece's Pieces. And Reece's Pieces were my favourite chocolate of all time.

 

“Yum.” I took another drink. It was amazing. I could live off this. “I thought protein drinks always tasted disgusting.”

 

“They do unless you get the good stuff and fill it with peanut butter,” Clint chuckled. “I’m guessing you like it?”

 

“Hell yes, I like it.”

 

“It’s all yours then,” Clint turned back to the bench. “I’ll make another one.”

 

“You are so well trained,” I laughed taking another sip of my drink. I didn’t grab breakfast before I came in. So my body was very happy with something substantial in it.

 

“No, I just have manners,” Clint bopped me on the nose playfully as he went to get something out of the fridge. “If I show you how to make one you won’t die of starvation or live off takeaway."

 

“I can make eggs.” I flicked in the arm. “And pancakes if I get those shake ones where all you do is add water. If I get really desperate I can fry bacon as well.”

 

“You and Natasha are so utterly undomesticated it’s not even funny,” Clint laughed, coming out of the fridge with a spoonful of peanut butter and a carton of milk. “Remind me to get you a key for my place. If you want real food both Laura and I do huge batches of meals and throw them in the freezer. Help yourself to whatever is in there.”

 

“I feel like I’m intruding if I do that,” I wrinkled my nose at him to hide my discomfort. “I can’t imagine just walking into your place unannounced. It’s rude.”

 

“Please,” Clint snorted as he started to throw everything in the blender. I made note of what he was doing. “Natasha does it. Jared does it so by extension you have to do it otherwise you’re letting the team down. It’d be rude not to.”

 

“Jared isn’t part of our team,” I took another sip of the peanut butter heaven in a cup to hide how uncomfortable I was feeling right now. “He doesn’t count.”

 

“Yeah, but you are, we’re all family so start coming over unannounced,” Clint pointed out, not taking no for an answer. “Have you never had a friend whose place you just walk into when you feel like it?”

 

“No.” I felt embarrassed for the second time today. “I’ve never had anyone like that. Well, besides Jared but he’s my brother I’m allowed to do that. But it's not like he cooks. I was a bit of an outcast in school and the Air Force.”

 

“So are we.” Clint licked the excess peanut butter off the spoon. “So us outcasts stick together. If you haven’t noticed most people are either terrified of us or in awe of our reputations.”

 

“I did notice Natasha can clear a room with that cold glare of hers,” I said looking down at my cup and swirling the contents of it around. “It’s a bit of a facade, well so I’ve learnt. You’ve both been nothing short of awesome to me. Sorry, I’m feeling a bit insecure this morning. It’s weird.”

 

“What’s up?” Clint turned to face me, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed. “Everything all right after last night?”

 

“Oh it’s nothing bad,” I didn’t look up from the cup. “I got my roster this morning and felt like I was getting my security blanket yanked out from underneath me a bit. I went and spoke to Coulson about it though.”

 

“Want me to hold your hand for a bit longer?” Clint teased me gently.

 

“I need someone to hold my hand a bit longer,” I admitted feeling like a complete idiot. “I felt so stupid going into Coulson’s office and telling him about it. I’ve never had a job outside of the Air Force so thing whole here's your plane, have fun, thing they’ve given me for my roster has freaked me out a bit.”

 

“Don’t feel stupid,” Clint turned back to making his drink. “Just remember, most people get two years at the Academy before they do anything. You’re allowed to feel a bit insecure about everything for as long as you need to still. It’s perfectly normal to be feeling that way.”

 

“Natasha didn’t go to the Academy” I pointed out.

 

“Natasha was trained in the Red Room since she was six, she’s a big exception to the rule,” Clint flicked the blender on briefly. The noise was too much to talk over. But it was done in a few seconds and Clint took a sip straight from the jug.  He turned back around, jumping up onto the counter with his feet kicking against the cupboard boards. It was only then I noticed he was barefoot and had pulled a pair of old sweatpants over his usual compression pants. He seemed to have a thing about not wearing shirts with sleeves. His current shirt looked like they’d been ripped off. He looked so casual for being at work.

 

“Your entire life got pulled from underneath you,” Clint said firmly. “Everything you’d worked for years to get, gone in those few minutes those idiots decided to try and drug you. Since then you dragged yourself back to your feet, stepped up to the challenge and done a marvellous fucking job in doing your first mission all within six weeks of SHIELD not giving you a choice what to do with your life.”

 

“I did get a choice.” I crossed my arms over my chest feeling very insecure about having this conversation with Clint. “It was do this, or be watched for the rest of my life which I assumed I would be sitting in the Fridge or Sandbox.”

 

“Mine was SHIELD or jail, pretty much the same thing you were offered,” Clint pointed out. I hadn’t thought of it that way. Out of all the people, Clint and Natasha were the ones who knew exactly what I was going through right now. “Natasha’s was SHIELD or die. Believe me when I say it that we know exactly how you’re feeling right now. All of this is overwhelming and crazy, even in normal circumstances. Don’t be embarrassed about asking for help. It’s better to ask for help when you need it than something become a huge issue. So you need to sit the fuck down, eat junk food with me and play Halo for a few hours. Then I expect you over at my place at least three times this week raiding the freezer. And Thursday is pizza night. You will be there and I don’t care what time is it. What’s your favourite?”

 

“Meat lovers,” I said in a small voice knowing there was no argument here. “Where’s Nat?”

 

“Gone home, probably reading, she always does that after a mission,” Clint said. “So, do we agree on what I just said? Because otherwise, I have no problems in dragging you there kicking and screaming. Or I’ll just break into your apartment and start stocking your freezer.”

 

So this is what having real friends was like? As bossy as Clint was being I couldn’t help but feel very grateful to him. I hoped he was going to enjoy the flying lessons in return for everything he was doing for me. 

 

“Can I bring Riley with me for pizza night?” I asked, still feeling unsure of everything. 

 

“I will even let you have the spare room as long as you two don’t have loud sex.” Clint grinned in obvious glee. “See that wasn’t so hard was it? You can talk to me about anything. I’m seriously the least judgemental person in the world. I’m even well trained enough to go and buy tampons without making a fuss.”

 

The last part of Clint’s sentence made me burst out laughing. He looked so damn proud of himself for getting me to agree to everything. It was nice to feel like someone besides Jared cared enough to look out for me. 

 

“Thanks.” It was such a simple word. It felt rather insignificant to what Clint had just given me. 

 

“Don’t mention it.” Clint jumped down from the counter. “So ready to be amazed by my epic playing Halo skills?”

 

“As long as you don’t cry at my terrible Halo playing skills.”

 

“How bad can you be?”

 

Clint learnt very, very quickly how bad I really was. I spent most of my time pushing random buttons and laughing than actually being of any help in the game. I was hopeless at most games. The only thing I could ever kick ass in was Mortal Kombat when I was younger. I hadn’t played it in years and all I used to do was hit random buttons to make things happen. I think Mom threw it out after Jared and I had a screaming match, followed by nearly destroying the living room after one game.

 

“How are you so bad at this?” Clint asked laughing as I died yet again. I’d only just spawned a few seconds ago and run straight into fire. I think it might have even been Clint shooting me the way he was laughing.

 

“I have coordination issues,” I laughed with him randomly mashing buttons making my character spin around in circles firing. “That and I’ve never bothered to actually learn to play properly. It’s a bit beyond me.”

 

“Beyond you?” Clint laughed again. “Yeah right, I’m pretty sure your brain ticks over the same as mine doing crazy calculations when you shoot. I won’t even begin to think of what goes through your head when you fly.”

 

“Lots of stuff, but yes sometimes some crazy ass calculations going off in my head,” I admitted. “Good thing I liked math and physics in school.”

 

“You liked everything in school judging by your scores,” Clint teased me. “Oh except for music wasn't it?”

 

“Yep.” I didn’t have a chance to say anything else. My phone started ringing with my Mom’s ringtone. I groaned pulling it from my pocket. Oh fuck. I had completely forgotten to give her a heads up about the whole relationship thing with Riley.

 

“Uh oh.” I stared at the screen in mild horror. “I’m in trouble. Any chance you want to answer that?”

 

“Sure, I love to see if I can lie to your Mom it’s so much fun.” Clint grinned as he took the phone from me answering it promptly while putting it on speaker. “Kari’s phone, Agent Barton speaking.”

 

“Hello Agent Barton speaking,” Mom said dryly. “Why do you have Kari’s phone?”

 

My Mom’s tone surprised me. There was a definite joking tone behind her and she spoke as she knew Clint very well. It wouldn’t surprise me if she did. Clint had been in SHIELD for a long time.

 

“She has gone to the toilet.” Clint winked at me. “I’m sitting here trying to teach her to play Halo. I think the toilet excuse was just to get out of it.”

 

“Good luck with that. I banned any kind of game console from the house when Jared decided he’d rather burn the lounge room down than to lose to Kari,” Mom laughed. “So, can you help me with something?”

 

“I can help you with anything you’d like Linda.” Clint was so smooth. He didn’t miss a beat. Even I found him to be a little bit charming right now. “Except for the obvious. I am a married man you know.”

 

“And still a terrible flirt,” Mom laughed again. “Do you know Riley Hunterton? Apparently, my daughter has found time in the last few weeks to acquire a boyfriend and not told her own mother about it. Should I be concerned? You STRIKE boys don’t have the best reputations.”

 

“Nothing to be concerned about at all,” Clint said soothingly. Gone was the joking tone and he was being serious now. “He’s a marksman in Bravo squad. Quiet and a bit shy, but nice enough that even I took him home with me the other night.”

 

There was a long pause on the end of the phone. Clint looked like he suddenly regretted what he just said.

 

“Do I even want to know?” Mom asked.

 

“It was all Natasha’s fault,” Clint said instantly. She wasn’t here to defend herself so she was going to get all the blame. “She got Kari smashed off tequila, Riley was with her and yeah we all ended in my the spare room at my place. Jared as well. Laura took a picture of all of us passed out on the bed. It was cute you should be proud.”

 

“You know Kari is the better behaved out of my two children,” Mom said, not sounding very impressed with the story. “She’s usually the quiet and reserved one. Why do I get the feeling by the time you’re done with her Jared will be the well behaved one?”

 

“I don’t think Jared even knows the meaning of the words well behaved,” Clint joked trying to lighten the mood. “He’ll always be the wild one.”

 

“How is Kari really settling in?” Mom’s tone turned serious as she let out a small sigh. “I can barely get two words out of her about work. Actually, I can barely get two words out of her most days.”

 

“She’s fine Linda.” Clint shot me a puzzled look. He was back to serious again. “She really is. She’s done an exceptional job these last few weeks. She even managed to punch me this morning. Got me right in the fucking ribs.”

 

I had to stifle my giggle at the proud look Clint had on his face at the mention of that. At my muted giggle Clint gave me a quick wink.

 

“Language,” Mom scolded Clint. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be asking you but this is my baby girl. I can’t say I was thrilled with Fury’s decision to make her part of your team. No offence to you or Natasha.”

 

“None taken. If it was me in your shoes I’d be feeling the exact same way.” Clint was doing a good job of soothing my poor Mom’s frazzled nerves. “I promise you I won’t lead her astray. Well, not too much anyway.”

 

“That’s as much reassurance as I’m going to get from you,” Mom said with a small laugh. Even I could tell she was feeling a little better about the situation. “Can you get her to call me when she gets back, please? Actually, cancel that, I’ll just call her later otherwise I’ll never hear from her.”

 

“I will still let her know you rang,” Clint promised. “She’s in good hands, Linda. I promise you that. Bye.”

 

“Bye Barton.”

 

Clint hung up and we both seemed to hold our breaths until the call was definitely ended. I broke into a nervous giggle

 

“I owe you one. Thank you.” I said once the giggles died down. “Phew, that was close. At least now I’ve got time to think of a suitable lie to her about why I didn’t tell her.”

 

“Do you not get along with your parents?” Clint asked handing me back my phone.

 

“I get along with them fine.” I pursed my lips trying to think of how to explain this to Clint. It was hard to explain. I loved my parents and knew they’d do anything for me. I’d just never been super close with my Mom, through no one’s fault. “I just don’t feel the need to let them know every tiny detail in my life. They worked a lot when we were kids so Jared and I were independent from a pretty young age. We day boarded at school anyway, so we only saw them on the weekends. When I went to high school I didn’t really see them much either even though I was living at home. Dad would come home at all hours of the night and Mom was always late home four out of five nights.”

 

“Didn’t you go to some fancy high school?” Clint asked. “I think I remembered reading something in your file.”

 

“I went to Trinity,” I said feeling mildly uncomfortable about that. At the time of applying it seemed like a good idea. Now, most people thought I only went there because I had rich parents. “Most expensive school in the US and somehow I managed to get accepted. They must have thought I was smart or something. Thank god for nearly full scholarships otherwise, I would never have been able to go. Mom wasn’t even happy about putting on my application let alone me getting in there.”

 

“I didn’t finish grade school so you’ve got one up on me there,” Clint admitted. “Coulson made me get my GED before I could go to the Academy. But seriously why did you decide to go to a normal high school, as you keep putting it?”

 

“Because I always wanted to join the Air Force.” I struggled to put this into words. “As soon as they would have seen my schooling if I stayed with Jared there wouldn’t have been a lot more questions asked than there was. I figured it was easier that way. Mom wanted me to join SHIELD as a pilot and forget about the Air Force. Dad wanted me to use my brain and work with him. At least Mom kind of got her way.”

 

“Well, you ended up as STRIKE, not a pilot so she technically really hasn’t. You rebellious child. I thought you were meant to be the well behaved one.” Clint pointed out with a smart grin. “You know your Dad designs my bows and hearing aids as well.”

 

“Bows I thought he might, your hearing aids I had no clue about.” Then it clicked over in my head why Dad had been neck deep in a new project the last few weeks. “Oh, you're the reason why Dad has barely surfaced from his workshop for the last few weeks with your new bow. Why do you need one with such a huge draw weight anyway?”

 

“Because I want to be able to put a scope on it and use it like a sniper rifle,” Clint explained his face lighting up with obvious glee talking about his new bow. “I figured if we use a bigger draw weight than I’ll be able to shoot further. The problem is just getting material strong enough to withstand the pressure that the bow gets put under for a higher draw weight. The last thing I need is for it to get stress fractures and explode in my hands while I’m doing a shot.”

 

“If anyone can figure it out, it’s my Dad,” I said feeling proud. Dad came up with some amazing things over the years. Although his speciality was weapons, he could make just about anything he put his mind to. The fact he’d done Clint’s hearing aids didn't surprise me at all. Those things would have every function under the sun. I doubted anything short of an EMP would break them.

 

“He is pretty smart. I can see where you got your brains from.” Clint picked up his controller again. “Ready for another round?”

 

“Sure, I’ll amuse you for the next 20 seconds,” I tried not to groan as I picked mine up as well. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone for the kudos and reading so far! I'm going for a chapter a day until I catch up to what I've already written.
> 
> Edited 6th June 2018.


	14. Chapter 14

The next few days flew by. I did as I was told and raided the freezer at Clint’s place. I don’t know who cooked it but the pesto chicken pasta was amazing. While I was there I stopped to have a coffee with Laura and told her all about Riley. Coffee turned into picking Lila up from ballet lessons. Much to Clint’s youngest delight. In training, I felt like I was actually getting somewhere at long last. Not only did I managed to punch Clint again, I also landed a kick as well. Natasha had been called away on a mission the day after Clint and me bonding over X-Box. She looked set to murder someone after she’d come out of her briefing. She stormed away muttering about killing the bitch this time. I didn’t bother to chase her down or ask. When it was my business to know Natasha would let me know. Until then I was just another target for her to hit. 

 

Jared was away again as well. All I’d gotten from him this time was a brief text saying he was going to be in Europe for the next few weeks. Not wanting to deal with being in an empty apartment by myself, I packed a few days worth of clothes and asked Riley if I could crash at his place for a bit His reply was that I didn’t ever have to ask that. It had made me smile. I was worried I might have been pushing the boundaries a bit too much too early. But he didn’t seem to care. Like Clint and I, his team were quiet this week. He’d be home by lunchtime most days leaving our afternoons free together. He wasn’t a great cook either so he enjoyed the freezer raiding from Clint’s place just as much as I had.

 

I was putting my workout clothes back in my locker with Clint leaning against his having a casual conversation. Coulson had told me Clint didn’t know he was learning to fly with me yet so I had to keep it quiet as a surprise. I wasn’t due in the hanger until 1400 meaning had most of the day to kill. 

 

“So, you’ve got to be quicker on your feet and really step into the punch to get more power behind it.” Clint was briefing me on where I went wrong this morning in our sparring. I had been listening until Riley walked into the locker room in just a pair of trousers. He must have just gotten out of the shower from after his gym session. I followed him out of the corner of my eye losing my train of conversation with Clint completely. Riley noticed it too and sent me small smirk in my direction. I was enjoying the view a lot. I might be staying over but I still hadn’t got much of a glimpse of Riley except for him being shirtless. I, on the other hand, had no problems in underwear and a shirt. Usually one of his. We still hadn’t had sex and waking up to his hot body every morning was going to be my undoing soon. I was hoping his too because he made it very hard to pull away from him this morning. If my ‘Get the fuck out of bed right now’ alarm hadn’t gone off I might have even gotten my way.

 

“Hey.” Clint snapped his fingers in front of my face. “Stop gawking at your boyfriend and pay attention to me.”

 

“I’m paying complete attention to you Hawk,” I lied dragging my gaze away from Riley’s very attractive half naked body.

 

“And what did I just say?” Clint asked raising an eyebrow at me.

 

“That we’re going out tonight, picking up another chick and having a wild threesome,” I said casually, hoping it would distract him enough that I wouldn’t get into trouble.

 

“Creative,” Clint said dryly “What part did you hear last?”

 

“Stepping into the punch,” I admitted with a short laugh “Sorry.”

.

“Just fuck him for god sake,” Clint switched to French. It’d been a small surprise when I’d found out he could speak it as fluently as Jared and me “Seriously, he’s a guy. He won’t complain. Pull his pants off, blow him and then have your fun.”

 

“You aren’t helpful,” I said back in the same language. It took every bit of my self control not to let that mental image get into my head. I may combust if I thought along those lines too much. “He doesn’t want to mess it up. But I’m going to combust soon though if nothing happens.”

 

Somewhere in our little bonding session over X-Box the other day Clint and I seemed to have reached a new level of our friendship. Nothing was off bounds now. I had quickly found out how damn dirty Clint’s mind really was. The man knew no limits.

 

“Then get a good vibrator,” Clint kept going in French with a dramatic sigh “Tie him to the bed so he can watch you use it.”

 

“Now who’s being creative?” I laughed before switching back to English “Wow, that was a good one.”

 

“I’m full of good ideas,” Clint informed me smugly. “Trust me.”

 

“Now those are dangerous words coming from your mouth,” I laughed again “Trust you.”

 

“Yeah, I know it’s…” Clint got cut off by an emailing coming from his phone. Judging by the noise that went around the room it must have been sent to a lot of people. My own phone chimed a second later. Clint pulled his phone out frowning at the email as his fingers hovered over the screen.

 

“Aww fuck it all to hell.” Clint’s face screwed up in disgust. “No fucking way.”

 

“What?” I asked peering over the screen. I couldn’t read the email upside down.

 

There were various groans coming from around the room along with a lot of swearing. The locker room had been fairly packed as usual for this time of morning. Most people were having a shower after hitting the gym or just arriving for the day.

 

“Fucking Arctic Survival Course,” Clint groaned looking horrified. “It’s compulsory and we leave in an hour. Sneaky fuckers doing it when they knew we were all here. I bet the doors are locked so we can’t escape from it.”

 

“What’s so bad about it?” I asked curiously. Well, there goes my first flying lesson with Clint right out the window. I hadn’t heard much about any compulsory courses within SHIELD. I knew they’d come up eventually just not this quick. One agent was banging his head against his locker room. Riley had buried his head in his locker kicking his feet against whatever it was in the bottom of his locker. My guess this wasn’t going to be fun.

 

“It’s the worst four days of your life as a SHIELD agent.” Clint sighed heavily locking his phone. “By the way, you were included in that list.”

 

“No fucking way.” I frowned reaching into my own locker and grabbing my phone. Sure enough, the email was there. STRIKE Teams Alpha, Bravo, Delta all had the first round. The rest of the STRIKE teams were to follow after we got back. Everyone’s names were listed and to my slight horror, I was the only female going since Natasha was on a mission. She was going to be pissed when she came back having to do this by herself. 

 

“I’m the only girl,” I whined looking to Clint for help. “Come on aren’t there rules in SHIELD about fraternisation and needing another female around with me? I mean SHIELD has something about killing your own partner if they go rogue for fuck sake.”

 

“Where did you read that?” Clint looked torn between laughing and being horrified that I actually knew that. “Also, why am I not surprised you remember that of all things?”

 

“It was after my first day and it freaked me out!” I crossed my arms defensively kicking Clint’s shin. My barefoot landed on his shin without a flinch from him. 

 

“This is the same person who can’t remember which buttons to push on the X-Box,” Clint teased grabbing me in a headlock. I squawked in protest smacking his arm trying to wriggle out of his iron grip. With his strong arms, I had no hope. Clint gave me a hard nookie on my head, like an immature teenage boy. Again the man acted his shoe size.

 

“Let me go Barton.” I elbowed him hard in the stomach. It hurt my elbow more than it hurt him. Did he really need such damn hard abs? His grip only tightened on me, along with him now laughing at my feeble attempts to escape. Thinking back to a lesson Natasha taught me very early, I didn’t hesitate when I went straight for his groin. The effect was instant. He let go of me and dropped to the ground with a strangled groin, immediately cupping his balls. He rolled onto his back with a groan, glaring daggers at me.

 

“Fuck you and Natasha for hitting dirty.” His voice sounded so strangled “I fucking hate you both. Fuck Natasha for making you a clone of her.”

 

Everyone in the locker room was politely trying to ignore what was going on between us. I didn’t miss the round of muted laughter that went through the room at the sight of the great Hawkeye lying on the ground clutching his balls. I had to bite my own lip to stop myself snickering. I offered my hand to him to help him up. Clint glared at it before begrudgingly taking it and getting to his feet. He gripped onto his locker hard trying to straighten himself up. 

 

“All of a sudden I’m feeling like ASC is going to be a good training exercise for you.” Clint scowled at me .“I can’t wait. Get your shit together Lyngley and off we go.”

 

Uh oh. 

 

It was a mad rush to get my boots on and ready to go. Clint stood there tapping his foot impatiently, scowling at me the entire time. He didn’t look impressed with me at all. I cringed and hoped I hadn’t pissed him off for real. I was only starting to get the hang of having friends around. I wouldn’t know what to do if he was really angry with me.

 

I didn’t get a sympathetic look from Riley. He just shot me a look of ‘That was the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen’ as I scuttled out of the room behind Clint. I didn’t miss the laughter going around the room as soon as the door shut either.

 

“Are they laughing at me or at you?” I asked tentatively hoping I actually hadn’t pissed Clint off for real. I didn’t mean to hit him as hard as I did. I just wanted him to let me go.

 

“Me.” Clint looked back at me gruffly. Then his face split into a broad grin. “Gotcha.”

 

“Asshole,” I laughed giving him a shove from behind before I caught up to walk beside him. That was a relief. “I thought you were angry with me. Like proper angry at me.”

 

“My balls are angry at you.” Clint flinched as he readjusted himself. “You have skinny elbows. But no I’m not angry at you. I’m proud actually. I’m so very glad you didn’t do Natasha’s trick of biting me.”

 

“I’ve never seen Natasha bite you.” I rolled my eyes seeing if he’d admit he was bullshitting me or not.

 

Clint just made a noise of disagreement in his throat. He turned his left arm so his palm was facing upward, showing off a very impressive scar on his forearm I’d never seen before. It was a very clear set of teeth marks. I pulled a sympathetic face at the sight of the scar. 

 

“Ouch.”

 

“Yeah, the punch in my head hurt more when I asked her if she was current for her rabies shot though,” Clint laughed shaking his head at the memory. “Nat is brutal. Actually, this reminds me of an idea. We should get someone else for you to spar with.”

 

“Why?” I cocked an eyebrow at him.

 

“Because being against Nat and I all the time is going to give you a skill set a lot quicker than you realise,” Clint explained. “So, if we put you with someone else you can actually see the progress you’re making.”

 

“I somehow feel you won’t be getting a long line of volunteers for that,” I said dryly. Truthfully, I didn’t feel ready to face anyone else yet. My confidence while steadily growing every day had taken a beating thanks to Rollins. “Did you have someone in mind?”

 

“Rumlow actually,” Clint said. I looked at him like he’d just grown two heads.

 

We’d come to the elevator so there was a brief pause as we stepped in. I still felt completely stupid telling the elevator where to take me so I let Clint do it.

 

“He’s a big guy, not afraid to use his strength, but he won’t kill you either.” Clint kept going as he lent against the elevator wall explaining his choice to me. “He was dumb enough to say something about it in the shower yesterday morning about you. So this can his punishment.”

 

“Aww, how sweet you guys talk about me in the shower,” I said sassily. I hated being the centre of gossip. “Is this while you’re all standing around naked checking out each other's bodies?”

 

“Why don’t you come in and find out for yourself?” Clint’s mouth turned up in a half smirk “Practice your invisibility.”

 

“I have a feeling I could just walk in there and no one would know what to do,” I chuckled, ignoring his jab at me about using my powers. “Take my phone in, snap some photos and make my own little album of happy snaps for nights alone. Have to say I’m enjoying all the big muscles walking around.”

 

“My god you need to get laid,” Clint laughed hard .“So badly.”

 

“What did Rumlow say about me?” I changed the subject quickly from my sex life. Clint didn’t need to tell me twice that I needed to get laid badly. His constant teasing wasn’t helping either.

 

“That your ass is looking fantastic for all the training you’re doing with us,” Clint said. I didn’t miss the brief flicker of annoyance cross his face. It looked like I had another protective older brother now. “So I told him he should come and spar with you and see how good your ass looks when it's kicking his.”

 

“Yeah, it’s not looking too bad,” I said smugly glancing over my shoulder as if I was looking down at it. “I know I’m still skinny but there isn’t anything on me that jiggles.”

 

“You should walk out into the locker room in your underwear one day,” Clint suggested with a smug smile playing on his face. “Nat doesn’t get a reaction anymore. It’s disappointing. I bet if you did it there’d be some stares and gawking.”

 

“I am not parading around in my underwear,” I said quickly. “What good would that do? Besides aren’t you forgetting the fact that my boyfriend in the locker room most mornings with me and he’d probably shoot someone if they said the wrong thing.”

 

“Fine walk into the men’s shower then.” Clint looked disappointed. “With your phone and take a photo then walk out without saying anything. That’ll be funny.”

 

“Only if you aren’t in there naked,” I teased. “There are somethings I don’t need to see and you naked is one of them.

 

I was saved from any more embarrassing suggestions from Clint as the elevator opened to the hanger. As usual, it was busy. But we seemed to be the only STRIKE team there. 

 

“So what’s so bad about this course?” I asked curiously as we walked down the stairs onto the tarmac. 

 

“It’s four days of being cold, wet and miserable,” Clint said with a miserable sigh. The look of disgust on his face let me know this really wasn’t going to be fun. “Slogging through the snow and slush after being dumped in a cold river.”

 

“It’s Autumn?” I looked at Clint in confusion. “Where on earth are they dumping us to do this?”

 

“Somewhere in Greenland.” Clint sighed heavily “I hate ASC. Actually, everyone hates ASC. The only time it was mildly bearable was when Jared did it with us one year. At least he can make a fire.”

 

Wonderful. Being dumped in basically the Arctic circle. I suppose it could be worse. It could be the middle of December.

 

“So what actually happens?” I tried again to get some more information about this course. I knew it wasn’t going to be fun. I just wondered if it was going to be SERE training, not fun or a whole new level of shit. 

 

“We jump off the ramp of the Quinjet into a lake, then it’s pretty much the quickest swim and run of your life to a shelter where SHIELD stores what you need for the next few days. It’s not much beyond some winter gear, basic rations and a few weapons. There’s a map, but I’ve done this so many times I know it back to front. It’s a three and a half day hike to the rendezvous point. Which is spent slogging over a few mountains, through shitty terrain and a lot of mud and slush if it isn’t snowing.”

 

“This sounds like an entirely new form of torture.” I screwed my nose up at Clint’s explanation. Why did SHIELD have to come up with the craziest things? Oh wait, this was SHIELD we were talking about. 

 

The hanger was packed a few minutes later as the rest of the STRIKE teams thumped down the stairs heavily. No one looked happy to be doing this. Especially on such short notice. Four days of hell here we come. At least I’d have a warm body to cuddle up with of a nighttime. Work or not, I’ll be damned if I was going to shiver my ass off on the cold ground alone.

  
“Hang on.” I thought about what Clint had just said. “We’re jumping into a lake and then running to somewhere for supplies?”  


 

“Yes?” Clint gave me a questioning look.

 

“What the hell do you do with your wet clothes?”

 

“You strip them off, grab a thermal blanket and warm yourself up,” Clint said, explaining like it was the simplest thing in the world. “Then there’s cold weather gear to change into.”

 

“I’m a girl.” I pointed out starting to feel stressed about this for an entirely new reason. “Going on this with 30 guys.”

 

“And?” Clint raised an eyebrow looking confused again. He wasn’t being a smart ass or a tease. He really did look confused about why I was stressing about this.

 

“I’m so not wearing suitable underwear for anyone to see me strip off,” I explained. Suitable underwear was a bit of an understatement. I hadn’t realised we were doing anything further for the day and put a sexy set on to see if I could tempt Riley when I finished work for the day. “I’m just staying in my wet clothes and freezing to death instead.”

 

“Trust me, when you get out you won’t be worried about that.” Clint brushed off my concern. “No one is going to be looking. We’re all going to be too miserable stripping out of our own clothes and getting warm.”

 

“I’m wearing a hot pink thong and matching bra.” I crossed my arms not feeling reassured at all.

 

“Oh.” Clint seemed lost for words for a few seconds. “Well, I guess next time you’ll remember to wear sensible underwear to work.”

 

“It is sensible.” I rolled my eyes at him resisting the urge to punch him “Just because I prefer to wear thongs and have everything match, don’t knock my choice of underwear. No one else is supposed to see it except for Riley this afternoon.”

 

“All the more reason for you to walk into the locker room in your underwear.” Clint grinned smugly at me. “Since Riley isn’t going to appreciate it, can I see it?”

 

Terrible flirt didn’t even come close to describing Clint sometimes. I didn’t even bother replying to his sassy remark. 

 

With everyone gathered in the hanger, despite some people dragging their asses, everyone was loaded on a Quinjet and in the air within ten minutes. While I buckled into the back I looked at the pilot seat longingly. The pilot and his co-pilot were both there already with the Quinjet powered up and ready to go. Clint sat next to me and Riley discreetly scooted towards me so he could sit on the other side of me. A twinge of nerves definitely not due to this course started to kick in. 

 

I hated flying if I wasn’t the pilot. To the point where I would get airsick and spend most the flight gripping the armrest feeling on the verge of terrified. I knew how wrong things could go while flying. I started to pick at my nails trying to distract myself from what was about to come. It’d be a couple of hours of flying time as well which wasn’t helping my nerves. 

 

As the Quinjet started to taxi out to take off, I began to bounce my leg restlessly. Clint reached over and grabbed my knee, effectively stopping it.

 

“Stop picking your fingernails and bouncing your leg,” Clint said lowly. “What’s up?”

 

“Flying scares me when I’m not the pilot,” I murmured back quietly so only he could hear me “Like to the point where I throw up.”

  
“There are grates under your feet for a reason.” Clint tapped his foot against the grate for good measure. “Just go to sleep. You’re going to need all the sleep you can get before this.”

 

“I can’t.” I couldn’t help but feel like a whining child as I said that. “I’d seriously prefer Jared teleporting me somewhere than flying. I hate Jared teleporting me.”

 

The Quinjet bounced as the pilot took off. I gripped the edge of my seat, knuckles going white from my death grip. Riley hadn’t noticed my discomfort yet. He was talking to Sam who was sitting next to him. There were a few more bounces before the pilot landed again very shakily. Great, we had a rookie pilot judging by the lack of takeoff. I couldn’t help it, soon as the wheels hit the ground again I was unbuckled out of my seat and heading straight for the cockpit. There was no chance in hell I was going to not fly there. Clint called after me but I ignored him. What I was about to do would probably get me into big trouble. I couldn’t sit still for a moment longer and not at least try to make this smoother for everyone.

 

“Hi, sorry,” I said in a rush as I lent over the pilot seat. “Look, I can’t deal with a rookie pilot who can’t take off. Can you do everyone a favour and move so I can fly?”

 

“And you are?” the co-pilot looked at me with a furrowed brow. “Do you even know how to fly?”

 

“Yeah, better than both of you probably.” I couldn’t keep the smart ass tone from my voice “Agent Kari Lyngley. I know I’m being rude but I really can't deal with anyone else flying.”

 

“Oh. the Raptor pilot that Ian was training.” The co-pilot lost the look of being annoyed instantly “This is meant to be a training flight for Recruit Tablor here.”

 

He didn’t have a lot of conviction in his voice. The recruit looked really young and just as nervous as I felt. I pitied the poor guy. He currently had the pressure of three of four top STRIKE Teams sitting in the back of the Quinjet. 

 

“Recruit Tablor can fly home without the pressure of a jet full of STRIKE personal in the back.” I tried to charm my way into getting my own way. “Probably be a hell of a lot less stress. Recruit Talbor can co-pilot until I’m ready to drop if that makes it any easier?”

 

“Fine by me.” The co-pilot didn’t need much encouragement as he unbuckled himself from the chair. “I’ll be in the back if you need me.”

 

Talbor quickly got himself out of the pilot’s chair and slid over to the co-pilot chair. I glanced in the back to where Clint was shaking his head at me, laughing quietly. Riley was watching me looking concerned. I ignored his questioning look, keen to get in the air before the instructor changed his mind about me flying.  

 

“Right, we ready?” I turned to face the front again. Talbor nodded, still looking nervous “Sorry, I know I’m being rude and pushy but I’m a bit of a control freak.”

 

“No, it’s fine.” Talbor cleared his throat uncomfortably. “I should thank you actually. I was so fucking nervous doing this.”

 

“You and me both,” I said dryly as I got the Quinjet up into the air smoothly this time. The coordinates were already set in the flight computer so it was just a matter of following the flight path. “First time?”

 

“First time with passengers.” Talbor was watching my every move with great interest. “Were you really a Raptor pilot?”

 

“Yeah, SHIELD is better paying though.” I smiled at him. It was only a half lie, but I didn’t feel like explaining myself too much. 

 

Talbor was quiet as we got into the air. But he was watching my every move. I kept the Quinjet off autopilot to keep myself occupied on the few hour flight. I half expected him to get his notepad out and start taking notes. I can remember being like that. The first time I’d actually gotten to sit in the Raptor I thought I was either going to pee my pants from nerves and excitement. 

 

Unlike the front which was silent, the boys in the back were very loud. There were about five conversations going at once which I was listening to bits and pieces. Clint had gone to sleep stretched out in his chair. He looked really uncomfortable and nearly ready to fall on the floor from his sprawled position. Seeing me glance in the back, Riley got up and walked up to the cockpit.

 

“Can I get a few minutes alone?” Riley asked politely to Talbor. The recruit was far too eager to get out of his seat. He nearly tripped over his own feet in haste to vacate the seat. Riley was nice enough not to laugh at him within earshot. He took the co-pilot chair, stretching his long legs out in front of him.

 

“Poor kid,” Riley chuckled .“So, scared of flying are you?”

 

“Only when I’m not the one in control,” I admitted with a sheepish grin. “Remember I know what can go wrong, and how quickly it can go wrong. It really freaks me out now. I used to love flying before I learnt to fly.” 

 

“I will never ask because I happen to like flying.” Riley put his arms behind his head leaning back in the chair. “So ready for the next four days of torture?”

 

“I’m more worried about the hot pink thong and bra I have on that everyone is going to see. It was meant for your eyes only.” I dropped my voice so no one else would hear it. Riley snorted in laughter but didn’t comment on my underwear choice. “This is going to suck on a new level of suckiness isn't it?”

 

“Well, it’s not Hell week but it comes pretty damn close,” Riley admitted with a small shrug. When I looked at him blankly he explained his last comment. “Hell week in SEAL training, never heard of it?”

 

“Oh,” I said feeling like an idiot. Of course, I’d heard of it. The kept everyone awake for an entire week doing drills. I’d heard you spent most of it exhausted, chaffed and wanting to die. “Yeah, I’m with you. Sorry I keep forgetting you were a SEAL. You won’t show me any photos of you in uniform.”

 

The last part was said teasingly. Riley rolled his eyes at our small joke together. Unlike mine, his apartment was bare of any photos. It was a typical bachelor pad. The enormous flat screen TV took up most of the lounge room wall. What the TV didn’t take up was stuffed with books. Combined with an even bigger stuffed couch it that was big enough even I could stretch out on it comfortable. The awesome surround system topped it all off. It was pretty short on anything of a more personal touch though. With all the time he spent away with work I could see why decorating was low on his list of priorities. 

 

“Well, if you come to Mom’s place with me for Thanksgiving if we aren’t working you can see them” Riley teased back. But there was a small undercurrent of nerves in his voice. We hadn’t discussed this yet. His mom and sister lived in Minnesota. Riley hadn’t seen either of them since Christmas last year. He was hoping to have this Thanksgiving off so he’d be able to get home for a few days.

 

“Sure.” I didn’t have to think about my answer. “As long as you can put up with Christmas at my parent's place in New York. Actually no scratch that. We have Christmas alone this year, they’re going back to Nebraska to my grandparents until New Year. I’ll have an excuse not to go this year.”

 

“How bad can it be?” Riley asked.

 

“Probably as bad as Hell week,” I said dryly. “I’ve never taken anyone home before so it’d be a whole new level of torture for you. My Grams can read minds by the way. It can get really annoying.”

 

“I’m very glad you can’t,” Riley said with a small chuckle “Because that would just be crazy. Seeing you conjure ice out of thin air is plenty of excitement for me. I’m not sure I’d like you being able to read my mind.”

 

“Right now I’m guessing you’re still picturing me in my underwear?” I teased. “Maybe I inherited a little bit of ability from Grams.”

 

“Oh yeah, busted,” Riley laughed. “I did catch a glimpse this morning of your plain underwear while you were brushing your teeth. Even that was an amazing view. I swear you did that on purpose.”

 

“I didn’t actually, but you’re welcome.” I felt smugly proud of Riley saying my ass was an amazing view. “How amazing of a view was it?”

 

“I had a boner nearly all the way to work. It wouldn’t go away,” Riley admitted with a groan. “I felt like I was 15 years old again seeing a flash of boobs for the first time.”

 

Riley had left for work about five minutes before I had. I’d heard him run back to the bedroom for a second after he said goodbye. I didn’t think he’d actually lingered long enough to get a good view. Clint had pushed our morning training sessions back until 0730 because Laura was working night shift at the moment. It gave him enough time to get the kids organised enough for before school care. It was nice to be able to have a small sleep in.

 

“You wouldn’t have had that problem if we’d woken up a bit earlier,” I teased Riley again. “I wouldn’t have said no.”

 

“When we get back we can help each other feel warm again” Riley suggested with a small grin “It might take a few hours but we should give it a go.”

 

“What happened to waiting?” I asked with a cocked eyebrow. I couldn’t stop my own grin forming on my face. My body was agreeing with him very strongly. This was going to be a long four days.

 

“Someone keeps trying to get into my pants every night and morning and walking around in her underwear.” Riley pointed out with a laugh. “I’m getting a very strong hint that she might need something taken care of before she combusts. Plus you are making it very hard to resist you.”

 

“That’s because I’m irresistible,” I said proudly. I hoped he was being serious about this. 

 

“That are you.” Riley confirmed with a chuckle. “Completely and utterly irresistible.”

 

The rest of the flight was spent with us bantering back and forth. Rumlow came up and joined us briefly but quickly left when he realised he wasn’t going to be included in the conversation. I did manage to get a dig in to him about noticing my ass looking good. In return, he assured me of a complete ass kicking when we got back. I had no doubt I was going to have my ass handed to me when we sparred. I’d barely noticed a few hours had passed until we were on top of our location. I dropped the Quinjet nearly all the way to the ground. We were hovering at twelve feet above the huge expanse of lake. Even in the growing darkness, it wasn’t hard to make out the floating chunks of ice on the surface. Nor miss the three feet of snow drifts piled up along the banks.

 

Fucking cold didn’t even begin to describe what was about to come. Someone opened the ramp, sending the arctic blast through the Quinjet. I reluctantly handed the controls back over the recruit and his instructor. Both looked smug that it wasn’t them about to jump out of the jet. Clint had woken up as soon as the ramp was open and he wasn’t looking happy. I stood next to him, keen to procrastinate for as long as possible.

 

“Anything I should know?” I asked wrapping my arms around myself to ward off the blast of cold wind. Nothing was going to stop my teeth chattering. It was so fucking cold.

 

“Jump feet first”. Clint was already shivering. “Don’t freak out when you can’t breath when you hit the water. It’s normal, focus on swimming for the surface. There are SHIELD divers down there if you get into trouble.”

 

“That’s reassuring,” I muttered sullenly watching the first few guys jump off the ramp. No one was in a hurry to actually get this part over and done with. Rumlow wasn’t being shy about giving a few of his team a push if they lingered too long. Riley gave me a small smile before he went over.

 

“Swim and once you get out don’t stop.” Clint gave me a grim smile. “As soon get to the cave, get out of your wet clothes straight away and get a thermal blanket over you. Wanna hold hands when we jump?”

 

“Is this so I don’t chicken out?” I asked with a short but unamused laugh.

 

“Me either,” Clint admitted with a wry smile. “I fucking hate this.”

 

Everyone else had jumped by the time Clint and I had made it to the ramp. I stood on the edge peering out into the growing twilight. 

 

“Ready?” Clint asked holding his hand out.

 

“Not a chance.” I grimaced but took his offered hand. I squeezed my eyes shut and we both stepped out into nothingness. Unlike the excitement of free falling during a skydive, this was a stomach dropping fall. With a very sudden stop at the end. Clint’s hand was ripping from mine as soon as we hit the water.

 

My body was frozen on impact. I was so cold I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t move, there was nothing I could do but float in the icy water feeling helpless. It wasn’t until a starving need for oxygen made my legs start to frantically kick for the surface. I hoped I was going in the right direction. The cold made it impossible to open my eyes under the water. It was only a few short kicks and I broke free from the water. Gasping for breath and flailing on the surface, I finally opened my eyes. There was a large cave with a fire already going not far from the shore. I forced my heavy limbs to cooperate as I swam towards the edge of the lake. It wasn’t a long swim, but I don’t think I’d ever swam so slow in my life. As soon as my feet hit the shore I didn’t care what anyone else was about to see. I started stripping my clothes off with my shaking and numb hands. I’d only managed to peel my outer shirt and singlet off by the time I made the cave, but it was better progress than nothing. Clint was right behind me, swearing his head off as he tried to get his own body working and clothes off.

 

My hands were shaking so badly by the time I got to get my pants off I didn’t think I was going to get them undone. But I managed to slide them off, yanking them off over my boots. I grabbed a waiting thermal blanket and huddled into it miserably. 

 

Clint was right that no one was going to look. Everyone was looking cold and miserable as they huddled around the fire for warmth. Me standing there half naked didn’t even cause anyone to look up. As soon as I had the thermal blanket wrapped around me I stripped off my soaking wet underwear as well.

 

“Boots,” Clint said to me huddled in his own blanket, lips blue and teeth chattering like crazy. “You’ll get frostbite otherwise.”

 

I didn’t argue. I worked my laces and stepped out of my wet boots and socks. The floor was freezing underneath my feet. I hopped from foot to foot until my bare feet got used to the change in temperature. The fire was putting some warmth out in the cave. Enough so my wet feet didn’t freeze to the ground.

 

Everyone was silent except for the chattering teeth for ages. The night seemed to close around us very quickly and soon the only source of light was the fire giving off a brief glow. The temperature dropped dramatically as the stars came out. It was a perfectly clear night, not a wisp of cloud in the sky. It was going to be fucking freezing. Even through the thermal blanket I could feel the temperature dropping dramatically.

 

“Come on we need to get dressed.” Clint’s teeth were still chattering. He nodded in the direction towards the back of the cave. “Ladies first.”

 

“Off you go then,” I joked hiking the blanket up further around me. Clint just shot me a barely amused look. While I wasn’t as cold as before I was still very uncomfortable. I wasn’t going to object though. I followed Clint back to where all the gear was stored.

 

“I seriously hope they gave you something that’s going to fit.” Clint paused for a second looking concerned. “Well, if everything else fails you can tie your pants up with string.”

 

“Yay for being tall and skinny.” I screwed my nose up.

 

Everyone else was slowly beginning to move. At the back of the cave, there were supplies all nearly lined out. Jackets and clothes were hung up on racks making it easy to access. Clint and I both made a beeline for those, rifling through the clothes until we both found something to fit us both. I was so thankful someone had put in a set of very obviously smaller size gear that would fit me. At least SHIELD weren’t total assholes about that. By this point I was so cold I didn’t care about dropping the thermal blanket and pulling over the first layer of clothes. Clint was shielding me from most of the view anyway. The thermal underwear started to warm me up straight away. I pulled on the rest of my layers quickly and made my way back to the fire, my laces still undone on the insulated boots I found.

 

“Nice underwear,” Clint reached over and whispered to me when he came over to the fire.

 

“I know, how awesome does my ass look?” I said back with a quiet laugh.

 

“It’s getting there,” Clint said teasingly. “We’ll start doing some more weights when we get back.”

 

“Great,” I said half heartedly. Part of me was keen to start hitting the gym harder. The other part of me was so tired and sore already I didn’t think I’d be able to do any more work than I was already doing.

 

“In the meantime.” Clint fished into his pocket and held something out for me. “I stole these while no one was looking. Wanna go outside?”

 

It was a Mars Bar. I could honestly kiss Clint right now. Chocolate just made everything better even in a shitty situation. I didn’t object to going outside if I had chocolate. Taking the offered bar, Clint and I both walked away from the group. We were far away enough to still be in yelling range, but away enough that no one would hear our conversation.

 

“I didn’t see you swipe them.” I broke the silence as I cleared away a patch of snow with my foot so I could sit down.

 

“I used to be a very good pickpocket,” Clint admitted with a small half smile. “As long as someone was within arms reach, I could get it..”

 

“Another thing you have to teach me.” I finally had enough snow moved so we could both sit. I plonked myself down on the cold ground. “Among everything else.”

 

“You’ll get there.” Clint sat next to me unwrapping his own Mars Bar. “You can’t be as awesome as I am so quickly.”

 

“Whatever,” I snorted. “So why are we sitting out here in the cold?”

 

Clint was silent for a few moments besides a shrug. I was content just to sit back and devour my own chocolate in his silence. Clint was picking pieces of his Mars Bar off and very slowly eating it.

 

“There are too many people,” Clint admitted finally when he was finished his chocolate. “I can usually deal with one team, but yeah it feels crowded with all the guys in there. You can go back in if you’d like.”

 

“Nah I’m good,” I said unashamedly licking my gloves which had chocolate on them. “Besides, why would I go inside when I have you to annoy?”

 

Our conversation the other day about us outcasts and sticking together had really stayed with me. For all Clint and Natasha had done for me, the least I could do was sit out here with Clint. The fact he’d swiped chocolate for us had made it even better. I felt the same way anyway. There were far too many people inside, most of them I barely knew. I didn’t want to sit in the corner by myself. Or linger on the edge of conversations that I was only being involved in out of politeness.

 

“So what happens from here?” I prodded gently trying to his more conversation out of Clint. This was the quietest I’d ever seen him. For Clint to be so quiet I didn’t doubt the next few days were going to be torture.

 

“We sleep here tonight.” Clint sighed stretching his legs out in front of him. “Then, first thing in the morning we start walking. We sleep in about two hours blocks but other than that it’s pretty much a solid trek there.”

 

“We don’t camp for the night?” I asked furrowing my brow.

 

“Not if we want to get home in the next three days,” Clint said grimly. “If nothing else SHIELD packs a shit load of coffee for these things. Not much else though. You live off chocolate and coffee for the next few days to keep your body going. If you promise to piggyback me, I’ll carry you when you are tired.”

 

“You weigh like 200 pounds,” I laughed at him “How the hell am I meant to carry you?”

 

“I weigh 190 thank you.” Clint shoved me playfully. I smiled at him quickly being back to his normal self. “Not quite at the 200 mark yet. You’re like 100 pounds. I have bow’s with bigger draw weights than you.”

 

“I’m 125, well I think.” I shoved Clint back. “I haven’t weighed myself since I started. Part of me doesn’t want to know.”

 

“Give yourself a week after getting home from this,” Clint suggested. He picked up a pile of snow in his hands and started to pack it into a snowball “I guarantee you’ll lose a shit load of weight doing this. Not only from the hiking but shivering your ass off of a nighttime.”

 

“I’m crawling into Riley’s sleeping bag with him,” I said casually, waiting to see what kind of reaction I got. “At least two of us will be warm.”

 

“Only when everyone is asleep,” Clint didn’t bat an eyelid at my cheek. “Until then you can crawl into mine. They don't give out enough sleeping bags for everyone so you end up sharing anyway. It’s meant to be team building or some bullshit like that.”

 

“That fucking sucks,” I grumbled. Of course, that was the case. Why would SHIELD make things easy for us?

 

“Don’t do that either, someone will hear it,” Clint teased me “Catch.”

 

He tossed the snowball at me. Even from a short distance, I reacted, freezing it and letting the ball of ice drop the ground. Using that part of my power was easy in conditions like this. There was so much moisture in the air and on the ground to play with. It made everything very easy to manipulate. 

 

“You’ve gotta be quicker than that Hawk,” I laughed at the disappointed look on his face. I formed a ball of ice in my hand and casually tossed it back and forth. Clint watched the ball of ice with a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. 

 

“How big can you make that?” He asked curiously, motioning to the ball in my hands.

 

“Pretty big probably.” I shrugged stopping my throwing of it back and forth. I concentrated for a second and made the ice form around the ball more to make it bigger. I made it as big as my palm and it was getting hard to hold. “It’s easy in a climate like this. There’s a lot of moisture I can use to manipulate it how I want it.”

 

“Show me how big you can get it.” Clint rested back on his arms watching me with intense interest “I bet you could basically make a shield out of it if you made it thick enough.”

 

I dropped the ball of ice to the side and furrowed my brow in concentration. I’d never really tried to make a shield before. It took a lot of concentration to start building a wall of ice in front of us. Once I got it going it was easier just to keep building the layers until it was a few inches thick and over our heads. I had to stop once I got it that high. I was sweating and trying not to breathe too heavily from the effort it took to maintain it. 

 

“And make it go away?” Clint looked at the wall in front of us. He reached out to touch it as if to find out if it was real or not. His gloved hands came away damp from the moisture.

 

“That’s the easy part.” I smiled and pushed my power into it until the entire thing shattered into thousands of pieces.

 

“So why is breaking things so much easier?” Clint picked up one of the smaller pieces of ice and played with it. “I was really surprised when you did it to my arrow. I barely saw it freeze before it shattered.”

 

“Because it is,” I said, trying to think of the easiest way to explain this. Dad had told me years ago the actual physics behind it all. It was mind breaking how complicated it actually all was. “Everything has a limit to the energy that can be poured into it. Once that limit is reach everything breaks. It doesn’t take a lot of control to do. Jared can do the exact same things with his fire. Except his just turns to ashes instead of shattering..”

 

“I’ve never seen Jared use his fire as anything but a party trick.” Clint was still turning the piece of ice over in his hands. “He’ll light fires and that kind of stuff to show off. But he doesn’t use his offensively. Any clue why?”

 

“I think it’s because his is a lot harder to control,” I explained. “His doesn’t actually burn unless he wants it to. So say we’re roughhousing. He can grab my arm and make flames go up it but it doesn’t actually burn me. He has to really want something to burn before it does. The problem then is that once the flames get out of his control, he has no way of stopping it. He’s always had better control over his powers than I have though.”

 

“Hence why you need to practice,” Clint chided me, handing over the piece of ice .“I am going to keep nagging you about this until you do it.”

 

Although it was said teasingly. I didn’t have a doubt in my mind about what Clint was saying. I knew I needed to practice it. My first mission made that abundantly clear about that. I threw the piece of ice up in the air before catching it.

 

“I may as well practice it while I’m here doing this bullshit hike,” I said with half a smile pulling on my lips “At least up here it doesn’t matter what I freeze. Everything is nearly frozen anyway.”

 

“That’s the spirit” Clint stood up and dusted his pants off “I need food and I plan on racking out early. Coming?”

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 6th June 2018


	15. Chapter 15

I couldn't sleep. I was warm but I couldn't get comfortable. As Clint said there were only enough sleeping bags for everyone to share. No one bitched or complained though. Everyone except me had done this before. They all knew the drill. The sleeping bags were only big enough for one person so it was a tight squeeze especially for some of the bigger guys. Clint was lucky he got me. We could lay back to back and he still had plenty of room. I had to stop myself laughing at Riley and Sam squishing themselves into one bag. Both jokingly arguing over who was spooning who.

I lay resting on my arm with most of the sleeping bag tucked around my head. Just after we headed back into the cave, the northern lights began to dance across the sky. I wanted to stay outside and watch them but I also didn't want to leave Clint alone. He was fast asleep behind me. I could feel his steady breathing against my back and the very occasional light snore coming from him. Everyone else had done the same thing as us. Eaten the only hot meal we'd get in days and dragged themselves into sleeping bags for an early night. Judging by the quietness of the cave I was the only one still awake. I squinted into the darkness of the sleeping bag trying to read my watch. It was too dark to really see anything. I wriggled around trying to lie so I wasn't directly on my hip bones. The cave floor was hard and with my lost weight, I wasn't finding any position comfortable. Making matters worse, I really needed to pee. I thought I could hold off until morning but my body wasn't going to let me.

I sighed, giving up the futile exercise of trying to sleep. As carefully as I could I detangled myself from the sleeping bag pulling on my outer layers as I went. As careful as I was, I still managed to wake Clint up. He stirred beside me, rolling over onto his back.

"What's up?" Clint asked sleepily.

"I need to pee," I whispered quietly. "Back in a minute."

"Take a sidearm," Clint said with a yawn. His arm came out from the sleeping bag and he fumbled around on the ground for a second before producing a thigh holster. "Here."

"Thanks." I didn't think to arm myself. There would be polar bears around here as well as wolves and foxes. The last thing I needed to do was run into one of them looking for a quick meal while I was squatting for a pee.

I didn't get a reply. Clint was asleep again. I marvelled at how quickly everyone else seemed to be able to fall asleep. I felt like I'd been lying here for hours listening to everyone around me sleep. I quickly pulled my boots on and crept outside trying to be as quiet as possible.

The night sky was alive with the Northern Lights. Out here in the middle of nowhere the stars glowed so brightly. There was nothing around us as far as the eye could see. We were in the middle of nowhere. I forgot about my desperate need for the toilet and just stared at the night sky watching the hues of green, blue and red danced around the horizon. Despite the bitter cold and my face feeling frozen nearly instantly, I couldn't stop the smile creeping onto my face. The next few days might be shitty but right now I wasn't too unhappy about being here. I looked at my watch, it was only 2130. No wonder I couldn't fall asleep.

"What are you doing?" Riley's whispered voice came a second before arms wrapped around my waist. Riley kissed my cheek before resting his chin on my shoulder.

"I was going for a pee but I got distracted." I motioned to the night sky. "I've never seen that before."

"Amazing isn't it?" Riley tipped his head so he was facing the sky. "The stars are incredible out here."

"It nearly makes up for having to do this course." I smiled wider, pleased at having Riley out here with me. "Nearly. How are you enjoying being the big spoon in your sleeping bag?"

"Sam is no fun to cuddle. I know who I'd rather be spooning," Riley chuckled. "Unfortunately it's frowned upon. Evans told me in no uncertain terms I was to spend the night in my own sleeping bag with someone from my own team."

"That sucks," I laughed quietly. "Barton told me I could sneak into yours when everyone was asleep."

"Lucky you." Riley's grip tightened around my waist. I lent back into his chest enjoying the few moments of peace. "Sadly for both of us, there's no spare sleeping bag."

"Do you think Barton and Sam might want to spoon?" I snickered at the thought of it.

"I think Sam would rather sit out here naked than to spoon with Barton," Riley laughed. He nuzzled into the side of my neck. His cold breath gave me goosebumps which he chased away with warm kisses. "If you haven't noticed, Barton is quite intimidating. I think Sam is terrified of him actually. Where did you guys go after you got dressed?"

"Just out to sit alone by the lake," I explained trying to keep my mind on this conversation. Riley's soft kisses were very distracting. "Neither of us likes crowds terribly well it seems. Plus I was playing with my powers a bit."

"Freezing the lake so we can walk across it instead of around?" Riley joked. He wrapped his arms around waist tighter, pulling me into him as close as we possibly could with all of our layers on.

"Not quite. Though that does sound like a very good shortcut." I squirmed against Riley's wandering lips. If he kept that up I was going to strip him off naked right here and have my way with him. I tried to keep on the topic so neither of us would freeze to death for the sake of a quickie. "I was seeing how big I could make things. It's f the perfect climate to do it in. Barton wants me to practice with it more."

"I can always bring you home warm beer and you can practice that way." Riley's hands started to wander under my heavy jacket. "I don't know about you but I can't wait to get home."

"Me either." Especially with Riley not being able to keep his hands off me right now. There was so much promise laced in those few words. "You better keep away from that train of thought otherwise Sam might think you've got something going for him."

"He's not exactly my type," Riley laughed, his breathing tickling my neck as he kissed me again, dragging his lips against my neck. "Do you want to go sit down?"

"I still haven't peed yet." Talk about a mood killer. My body decided to make it well known right then that I was going to burst if I didn't go in the next few seconds. "Can you stand guard for me?"

"Everyone is asleep, but yes I will guard you will you pee." Riley let me go with a small laugh. "Is that a sidearm on your thigh?"

I'd forgotten I'd strapped it on. The bulky layers of clothing made it easy to forget it was there. I turned around so I was facing Riley with a smile.

"Hawk told me to take it. I'm not going to sit there and argue with him. I'd rather not become a midnight snack for a polar bear or wolf."

"Good thinking." Riley smiled back at me. He reached over and cupped my face and pulled me close again. "Have I ever told you that I find it really fucking sexy when you walk around armed?"

"Yes, but tell me again because I like hearing it. And just think, you didn't even have to explain yourself for having to drop everything and go away for four days with no notice," I said wrapping my arms around his neck. "Aren't I the best girlfriend ever?"

"You're so fucking hot standing there with a P30 strapped to your thigh. I'm still not sure how I managed to get you." Riley kissed me. His warm lips made my entire body tingle, right down to the tips of my toes. "But I'm still feeling like the luckiest guy in the world right now. Especially hearing some of the phone calls this morning when we were told we were leaving in an hour."

"I think I'm the luckiest girl because my boyfriend doesn't care if I get called away at a moments notice either." I smiled and lent forward to kiss Riley again. "It makes it even better when he's here with me."

Riley kissed me again, pulling me close. It was a big reluctance that I pulled away from him only after a few seconds.

"I can't hold it any longer," I laughed quietly. "Gimme a sec."

I let Riley go and walked around the corner. Pulling my gloves off with my teeth I quickly undid my pants and squatted to the ground. The freezing air on my exposed ass made me pee quicker than I ever have in my life. I yanked my pants back up, jumping around trying to get warm again.

"Oh my god, it's so fucking cold." I shivered, yanking my gloves back on. True to his word Riley had stood just out of sight, with his back turned. He was such a gentleman. Besides Jared and Clint, I'd never had a guy who always did things like open the door for me. If I had something in my hands he'd carry it for me. It didn't make me feel weak or useless, it made me feel treasured. How did I, generally the biggest screw up in the world when it came to relationships and guys, manage to get so lucky? If Riley thought he was lucky in having me, the feeling was multiplied a thousand times over for me.

"What are you smiling about?" Riley asked as I came back to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and smiled up at him. He pulled me in close with his a smile lighting up his entire face.

"Just how perfect you are," I said truthfully. "And I'm feeling the same way in wondering how the hell I got so lucky."

"Let's see how perfect you think I am after 3 days of no food and no sleep." Riley leant forward and kissed me again. I wrapped my arms around him tighter, pulling him as close as I could. This was probably going to be our only chance at this for the next few days. Riley's weight made my own weight shift back a fraction. The change of weight made my foot hit a slippery patch of ground and before I could stop it, both of us ended up toppling over. I sprawled out flat on my back with Riley landing on top of me.

"Sorry." Riley scrambled to get off me. "It's slippery there."

"Who cares." I grabbed the front of Riley's jacket and pulled him back down so we could kiss again. His lips on mine warded off any thoughts of being on the cold ground. My kiss became more insistent, my tongue teasing against his. I wrapped one of my legs around his, pulling him closer.

"You're going to be my undoing." Riley pulled away first, panting slightly. "You have no idea how much I want to strip your clothes off right now and fuck you."

"I wouldn't say no," I said with a mischievous smile. "We may freeze to death though. Only a few more days to go."

"A few more days." Riley repeated, leaning down to kiss me again quickly. "Are you coming back in?"

"Yes, are you two done and coming back in?" Clint's voice made us both shoot to our feet instantly, and very guiltily. Clint was standing a few feet away, arms crossed and looking very pleased with himself. I could feel my face heating with embarrassment as Clint stood there with a smug grin on his face.

"We weren't…" Riley started and Clint cut him off.

"Oh, I'm well aware of what you two were and weren't doing," Clint voice was choked with muted laughter. "I thought I'd break it up before you got busted by someone who might actually be upset with what you're doing."

"You missed me warming your sleeping bag," I teased Clint to cover the lingering embarrassment of being caught. I brushed the snow off my clothes ignoring his smug grin.

"That too." Clint didn't look the least bit apologetic about disturbing us. "Come back to bed Kari. Trust me when I tell you that you'll need your sleep more than you need sex right now."

"Coming." My choice of the word got a snort of laughter from Clint. I shot him an exasperated look for having such a dirty mind. Ignoring Clint's muted laughter, I turned back to Riley. "I guess you'll need to cool off before you go and spoon Sam?"

"I'm going to go for a lap around the lake naked to cool off," Riley laughed before giving me a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

I didn't want to head back inside. I knew I couldn't stay out here either. I reluctantly dragged myself away from Riley and followed Clint back inside. I stripped off my outer layers and wriggled back into the sleeping bag on the cold floor. If only SHIELD had thought to throw in a pillow for everyone it wouldn't be so bad. I grabbed my jacket, turning it inside out so the cold outer layer wouldn't be sitting against my face. Squishing it together I formed a makeshift pillow. It would have to do for now. Clint slid in beside me, with his back facing mine.

"Don't hump me in my sleep," Clint whispered to me. "I might like it."

I kicked him in the leg. I had to chew on the inside of my cheek to stop the laugh that nearly bubbled out.

"I don't need to feel your morning wood, so don't spoon me in your sleep," I shot back.

"You're too bony." Clint's voice was muffled as he tried to cover his own laugh. "I don't want to cuddle you."

"Good, I don't want to cuddle you either." I put my hand over my mouth to smother my own giggle. "I'm going to sleep. Stop annoying me."

Clint went quiet straight away. It took him less than two minutes to fall asleep. My eyes were starting to get heavy now too. I yawned and closed my eyes. Maybe I was tired enough to actually sleep now. I put my arm under my temporary pillow and burrowed my face into it. Despite being uncomfortable I finally drifted off to sleep.

"How come Barton gets to share his sleeping bag with Kari? It's not fair." A whispered voice broke through my sleep. "I vote we draw straws on that matter."

"I can hear you," I muttered not opening my eyes. "I'm awake."

Well, kind of. I rubbed my eyes before blearily opening them. Despite my warning last night, Clint was completely wrapped around me from behind. I'd been asleep on his arm, instead of mine. I was warm and somewhat comfortable. Now I was definitely not happy about being woken up. It wasn't fully daylight yet. There was a very weak grey light trying to come into the cave. I rolled my arm so I could read my watch. It was 0620.

"Yeah, shut up I'm comfortable," Clint grumbled behind me. But he didn't bother moving. I didn't want to admit it but I wasn't complaining about that too much. I really was warm. The only exposed part of my body was my cheek and it felt like it was frozen. I wasn't in any hurry to move and get dressed.

"Shut the fuck up," Rumlow's voice echoed around the cave. "It's way too early. Go the fuck back to sleep."

It was quiet for another few minutes. Then people began to get up, shuffling around making enough noise to disturb the people who were still sleeping.

Clint groaned in frustration as someone tripped over our feet.

"Seriously?" He snapped finally untangling himself from me. "You couldn't avoid standing on me?"

"Sorry Barton," whoever it was, said sullenly.

It seems no one was going to be happy this morning. I sighed and started to wriggle out of the sleeping bag. I may as well stop delaying the inevitable and get up. No doubt with people starting to move, we'd be heading out soon. The blast of cold air was instantly numbing, leaving me scrambling for my outer layers.

"Cold, cold cold," I said with my teeth chattering as I got dressed quickly. "Brrrr."

"I'm so not getting out of this sleeping bag." Clint pulled the sleeping bag around his head, burrowing back down into it. "Wake me when we actually have to move. Or you have coffee. I accept either bribery."

"Get up Hawk." I nudged him with my foot. "If I'm up you are too."

"Really don't want to," Clint's voice was muffled under the sleeping bag. "It's fucking cold and I don't want to get up."

"I can make it colder if that makes you get out there any quicker," I said mischievously. Freezing the sleeping bag would be a bit of evil fun. "Come on, up."

"I'm up." Clint finally emerged from the sleeping bag, blinking at me sleepily. His hair was sticking up in every direction and he looked like a grumpy five year old as he glared at me. "Ugh. I was warm and comfortable and you had to get up."

"Yep." I stood there with my arms wrapped around me, putting my still ungloved hands under my armpits to warm them. "If I have to be cold and miserable you can be too."

"Blah blah blah is all I'm hearing coming from your mouth," Clint sassed me making a talking motion with his hands. "I'm getting up. Find coffee."

I had no idea how I was going to find coffee. As I looked around everyone was packing up the sleeping bags and getting dressed. The fire had died out during the night so there was no water boiling. Everyone looked as tired, cold and miserable as each other. Riley was struggling into his own outer clothes rubbing his hand over his face tiredly.

"Where's the coffee?" I asked turning back to Clint with a quiet whisper.

"You're such a rookie sometimes," Clint grumbled as he stood up, yanking his boots on over his socks. "Fine, I'll get us coffee."

"Good boy," I smirked at Clint ignoring his comment about me being a rookie. If he was like this now, I was not going to enjoy what he was like three days of no sleep.

"Again, blah blah blah," Clint groaned as he straightened up. He stretched his hands over his head, his body cracking in various parts. I winced as I could hear every vertebra in his back make various snapping and popping sounds. Still grumbling under his breath, Clint moved to the back of the cave and came back with two cans. He cracked one open and handed it to me. I eyed the unmarked can warily.

"You aren't serious are you?"

"It's coffee, I promise," Clint said encouragingly taking a sip seeing the look on my face. "I'm not feeding you weapons oil or anything like that."

Seeing Clint drink from his own can made me crack mine open. I took a cautious sip at the unfamiliar beverage. Somehow it was warm and it tasted vaguely like coffee. Instant coffee with powdered milk and the sugar bowl maybe hovered over it. But it was warm and I wasn't going to knock it back. I sat back down on the sleeping bag, crossed legged watching everything around me. Everyone was up, somewhat dressed and a few were sipping out of the same cans as us.

The cave was fast getting crowded again with everyone up and moving. I got to my feet and walked outside, finishing off my can of coffee as I went. Despite the clear night the clouds were rolling in thick and fast now. They were grey and heavy, promising more than a dusting of snow. I hiked my jacket around me a little tighter at the thought of the threatening weather.

I walked to the edge of the lake staring out across it. The body of water was huge. It'd easily be a few miles across and just as wide. I couldn't actually see the other side of the shore. The hike around it was going to be a few hours at least. The low grey clouds were covering the distant hills and mountains, making the promise of the next few days trek to be more than interesting. The lake had more than a few chunks of ice floating around on it. Thinking back to Riley's comment last night, I put my hand in it, just playfully pushing my power out to the nearest small chunk of ice. The lake froze under my touch, ice fanning out rapidly until it was a good ten feet from me. Shocked, I yanked my hand back from the water. I stared at what I'd done. I'd frozen it inches thick. I hadn't done anything like that since I was a kid. But like I'd said to Clint, this kind of weather was perfect for messing with my power.

I cautiously tapped my foot on the solid piece of ice. It seemed completely safe. Putting all my weight on it, the lump didn't creak under my weight. I jumped up and down on it a few times, being careful not to slip.

"Huh, cool." I grinned as I carefully walked to the edge of the platform of ice. I stuck my hand in the water and pushed my power into it again. This time I didn't pull back. I just watched the ice fan out from my hand and across the lake rapidly. I could feel a very satisfied smirk playing across my face. It felt good to do this again. It was like being a kid all over again and just making things freeze for the sake of making things freeze.

Much to my surprise, the ice kept forming with very little effort from me. I stopped only out of curiosity and began to walk across the platform of ice I'd created. I didn't get far before I heard Clint's voice call out to me.

I turned around to see him standing on the shore, arms crossed looking out to me.

"It's safe." I waved him over. "Slippery, but it's frozen solid."

At least I think it was. The edge of the lake was shallow enough it was probably frozen solid. The further I got out, the less solid it would be. I still had the ice inches thick, safe enough for people to walk on.

Clint nodded and cautiously put a boot on the ice, stepping on it a few times to test the accuracy of my words. When he was satisfied he carefully walked out to me.

"This wasn't quite what I had in mind when I told you to practice your powers." Clint had both eyebrows raised as he looked out across the lake. "Umm, wow."

"I didn't mean for it to happen," I said feeling a bit defensive as I crossed my arms. "Like I said last night, it's kind of easy to do in this environment."

My previous glee of doing this was quickly evaporating under Clint's surprised stare at the expanse of ice in front of us. I felt myself deflate and looked down to the ground, scuffing my toe along the ice.

"No, no, no, don't get upset Kari." Clint quickly grabbed my arms so I uncrossed them. He gently pushed my chin up so I was looking up at him. "No seriously, keep going. This is good. I'm just surprised that's all. I'm not upset."

He could read me so well. Clint motioned towards the water again.

"Go on, knock yourself out. If you can freeze the lake all the way across it takes off at least half a day."

I hesitated slightly. A few of the guys had made their way out of the cave and were mucking around outside. The wind picked up and I shivered despite the warm layers. Fuck it, knocking half a day off was going to be well worth it. We might even get more than a few hours sleep in if that was the case.

Carefully I walked back out to the edge. Clint followed me, grabbing my elbow to steady me if I slipped. I'd frozen the lake to a fair distance, but still had quite a way to go yet. It wasn't all the way to the edges but the ice fanned out enough to fit both STRIKE teams on here comfortably. By now they'd all started to walk across the ice I'd just made, either curious or hoping that we really were shaving half a day off.

Once Clint and I reached the edge I put my hand back in the water. It was absolutely freezing further out. I barely had to concentrate using my power this time. There were thicker sheets of ice floating around. It felt like it was more of a game of connecting the dots. By the time I was finished we had a clear path of ice to walk across. Both STRIKE teams had caught up to us, watching fascinated at the path of ice I'd made for us.

"Well," it was Riley who first spoke when I stood up, shaking my hands to get rid of the last few ice crystals on it. "This makes life a bit easier."

"Here's hoping." I grinned feeling very pleased with myself. No one was looking at me like I was diseased or I'd done something wrong. "So let's go?"

"You heard, Agent Lyngley," Rumlow spoke up. "Let's roll out and get the fuck home."

Both teams moved off. Riley lingered towards the back, just in front of Clint and I.

"Good job." Clint clapped my shoulder. I winced at the amount of force behind what he'd consider a gentle slap. "I promise I won't make you carry me now."

"Any chance you can swipe me another Mars Bar for being completely awesome?"

"Already done." Clint produced the promised chocolate from his jacket pocket. He pulled a can out along with the chocolate. "Coffee too."

My joy was short lived as we shuffled and slid across the ice. A few times guys in front of us slid too much and went down. I thought one of the guys from Rumlow's team was going to end up in the water but he managed to save himself. But there weren't any complaints. They all took it with a laugh and plenty of jokes. My legs were already aching from sliding every few steps. Clint was only doing marginally better than I was. We'd both snort with contained laughter at each other's shortcomings. There wasn't much else you could do really. The weather got worse as we stumbled along. A biting wind picked up, blasting us from the North. It felt like it froze any exposed part of your body. I pulled the hood of my jacket around my face trying to ward it off. There was a pair of sunglasses in my jacket pocket which I finally pulled on so my eyes would stop watering.

It was mind numbing putting one foot in front of the other with the only thing to concentrate on was not falling over. It only got colder the more we moved so no one spoke much. There was the occasional quiet conversation pop up. It was too far away and too quiet for me to hear. Clint was silent leaving me with my own thoughts. They were mostly to do with the cold. As mid morning approached the clouds hung even lower in the sky looking an ominous dark grey. Just as we reached the edge of the lake, snow began to fall. It was heavy enough to make things uncomfortable, but not bad enough to make us stop.

Once we reached the edge of the lake, I was very happy to stand on solid ground again. We were the last ones to hit solid ground. Everyone had sat down to have a break. The snow was starting to become heavier every second. I wasn't missing the concerned glances every kept looking up with. I cleared a patch of ground with my foot before I sat down.

"This is going to make things harder," Clint said quietly as he sat next to me. "We're heading that way and the terrain starts getting tough."

Clint pointed towards the east of us, towards the mountain range. My gaze followed his outstretched hand with a quiet sigh.

"We basically climb up and down that about three times," Clint explained with his own sigh. "It'll take us the rest of the day to reach it. Then the next two and a half days to go over it. Once we get over it all, SHIELD has a cabin which thankfully is stocked pretty well and we call for our extraction. It takes six hours to get here so at least you can sleep and get warm."

"Any shortcuts?" I asked looking at the mountain range. It didn't look huge, but it was going to be rough terrain. There looked like there was dips and crevices all throughout it.

"Not really, not unless you can build us a bridge between the mountains." Clint looked at me with a hopeful smile. "Believe me when I say we're taking every shortcut and easy way possible. We have to do this course every two years and it never changes."

"At least I cut some time off for us." I looked back over the lake. I hadn't realised how big it really was until I had to walk across it. Even cutting half a day off was better than nothing.

"Yeah." Clint got up and dusted himself off, then offered his hand. "Come on let's keep going before this snow really sets in."

"Sounds good to me."

I grabbed Clint's hand and got pulled to my feet. Seeing both of us get up, the group started to grumble but climb to their own feet.

"Barton," Evans called from the front of the group. "Come up here for a second."

Clint complied, leaving me standing there by myself. Not wanting to be a loner I walked up to Riley who was standing with a few guys from his own team. No one paid me any attention as I joined the circle standing between Riley and Sam. I thought I was going to go unacknowledged but Sam was the first one to speak.

"Do you follow hockey or football?" Sam asked me as soon as I joined them.

"Both, why?" I asked slightly taken back by the question. I shouldn't have been surprised. Most guys when bored will either talk about sports or sex. There wasn't really too many other subjects they'd touch on. With me standing there my guess would have been there was a quick topic change to be polite. I'd always been a hockey fan, but I'd learned to appreciate football as well during my time as a pilot. It was fun getting involved in those nights at the bar during games. Even if I wasn't a die hard football fan, I was definitely a very big hockey fan.

"Teams?" Sam asked. "Do you actually follow it, or just watch it for the hot guys?"

"Bit of both," I admitted with a laugh. "Rangers and Giants. I follow hockey more than football though."

"You and me, are new best friends." Sam grinned at me. "Do you think the Rangers will finally win one again this year?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Riley roll his eyes at Sam. I couldn't stop my own grin coming onto my face.

It was on. Sam and I went off on a spiel about hockey and it only broke up when we were told to get moving again. This time Riley was walking beside me, listening as Sam and I both kept rambling on about hockey. We didn't even pause in our conversation when Clint walked back to us.

"Not another die hard hockey fan," Clint groaned as he heard what we were talking about. "You and Nat are seriously clones. I can't deal with this, someone talk to me about football. Riley, seriously please tell me we can talk football."

"Only if its college football," Riley said. That made me smile, but not enough to break into their conversation. Riley had been a star football player in high school and got a scholarship to college with it. He opted to join the Navy and become a SEAL instead.

"Iowa Hawkeye's all the way," Clint said with a relieved smile.

We moved off again and the time flew by this time with talking to Sam, and the occasional input from some of the other guys. Instead of dragging by, I'd barely noticed to long hike until we started a definite upward climb. When night began to fall around us was only when I'd run out of things to argue or discuss hockey. Somehow I'd stupidity said yes to going skating and letting Sam teach me how to handle a stick properly. He was horrified that I didn't really know how to play even though I was a big fan. I could barely skate so Sam was going to have his work cut out for him.

Just as it was getting dark, another break was called. Clint went up the front again to speak to Rumlow and Evans so I was left alone with Riley. Although the hours flew by my body was telling me it wasn't terribly happy about the miles we'd covered today. My feet and calves were aching and I had an annoying twinge in my lower back. I was more than happy to collapse onto the ground, leaning against Riley. Unlike Sam and I, he and Clint had stopped talking a few hours ago.

"My feet hurt," I said with a quiet grumble. I reached down to massage my aching legs as best as I could with gloves on. "And calves, and thighs. I think I need a massage."

"I'd offer to take your boots off and massage your feet but I think you'd get frostbite pretty quick," Riley said as he stretched his own legs out with a wince. "You'd have to repay the favour though."

There were too many people around for me to make a dirty joke about what I'd want to massage on him.

"I can't wait to get home and soak in a bath." I kept our conversation PG rated. I lay back, despite the snow and cold on the ground. "I have some new bath bombs that are calling my name."

"Good thing I have a tub then," Riley said, smiling down at me. He looked as tired I was currently feeling. "Am I joining you for this soak in the bath?"

"Please do. I hope you don't mind smelling like strawberry bliss or whatever it is I bought," I joked, smiling up at him. Those thoughts might be enough to keep me distracted for the next part of the hike. "So, is that an invite back to your place when we get home?"

"You don't need an invite." Riley lay down next to me, putting his hands behind his head and resting on them. "I've got a spare key for you that I was going to give to you tonight anyway."

"Awesome, your TV is so much bigger than Jared's," I said lightly to cover my surprise. While I wasn't complaining this was moving a lot faster than I ever anticipated. Then again I didn't have a lot to compare this relationship to than anything else.

"Oh, that's how it is?" Riley laughed giving me a small shove with his foot. "You just like me for my big TV."

My comeback of another big thing I liked him for got cut off by Rumlow calling everyone to their feet again. I groaned as I pushed myself back up. Didn't we just sit down five seconds ago? I was more than ready for a nap. It was getting dark now, I could only just make out shapes around us in the grey light. The snow had been steady all day, leaving a few inches of powder sitting on the ground. I was warm enough from all the hiking, almost too warm. I'd nearly taken my jacket off a few times but knowing how much I'd freeze if I did stop me. The clouds had started to thin out and a few stars were shining through tonight. I followed Riley as we started walking again. Clint was waiting for me as I came up and fell into step beside me. He slowed down a bit, enough to put some distance between Riley and us.

"We were just arguing over whether to camp for the night or not," Clint explained before I could ask him what was happening. "But we decided to keep pushing ahead to get home sooner. You knocked eight hours off with going across the lake instead of all the way around it."

"Nice." I felt very proud of that. At least the pain of keeping on going for tonight was going to get us home sooner. "What happens from here?"

"If it stays clear tonight we'll just keep going and have a few hours sleep just before dawn," Clint said fumbling in his pocket for something. He pulled out two more chocolate bars for us. Where he kept getting them from I'll never know. "Tomorrow is the hard part. It helps to be a little bit rested for it."

Why did that sound very ominous? Today hadn't been fun. I was dreading to know what else was in store for us.

"Where do you keep getting the chocolate from?" I asked to change the subject onto something a bit lighter.

"Pockets." Clint explained, patting the side of his jacket. "I shove as many as I can in before we leave. Don't worry so does everyone else. Check your inside jacket pocket."

I unzipped my jacket enough to be able to get my gloved hand in. Patting the pocket I was told I could feel a few bars of chocolate in there that I hadn't noticed before.

"The sugar keeps you going," Clint said around his mouthful of Mars Bar. "It's easier than trying to carry rations and having chocolate always makes the day feel better."

I couldn't argue with that. Taking one glove off I peeled off the wrapper and demolished mine in a few bites. Having no food other than chocolate all day was making me feel sick. But it was better than nothing. I wasn't starving just yet, so the chocolate filled my empty stomach nicely.

Everyone fell silent as the night deepened around us. The clouds lifted bringing out the northern lights and stars again. It got even colder than before and I stuck as close to Clint as possible. I didn't think I was going to be able to see but my eyes adjusted very quickly to the darkness. It became a case of putting one foot after the other. The terrain got more and more rocky and uphill, making everyone start to stumble. We ended up on a windy path, taking us upwards. It was only wide enough for a single file so I stumbled along behind Clint. It wasn't until well after midnight when we finally stopped. I happily collapsed to the ground, feeling like my legs were still walking. Clint was right next to me, leaning against the wall of rock.

"How long do we have?" I asked Clint tiredly, finally breaking the silence from the last long hours.

"A few hours." Clint sounded like he was already half asleep. "You cold?"

"Not yet." I couldn't stop the yawn escaping from me. My poor feet and legs were throbbing mercilessly. As painful as it was, I doubted it would be enough to keep me awake. "Won't take long to get cold though."

Clint opened his arm and I didn't hesitate to put my head on his shoulder and let him pull me close. If I couldn't cuddle Riley, Clint would have to do.

"Don't drool on me," Clint murmured quietly.

"I'm more worried about you drooling on me," I said with my own quiet laugh.

Neither of us made a response. I was asleep as soon as those words left my mouth. I didn't stay that way for long though. I drifted in and out of sleep, not able to get comfortable or warm enough to really sleep well. It was almost a relief when dawn started to come around. Clint got up first, leaving me grumbling on the ground until I took his offered hand to get up.

"I need to pee," I said quietly.

"Off you go," Clint said smartly. I glared at him until he gave in with a short laugh. "Fine, just go down the path a few feet. I'll stand guard if you need me to."

"Thank you." I couldn't muster too much enthusiasm about his smart mood this morning. I crunched through the snow down the path for a few feet before I felt safe enough no one would see me. Struggling with my layers I finally was able to answer the call of nature. I glanced back to make sure Clint wasn't watching. He wasn't, he looked like he was writing his name in the snow. I gave a quiet laugh at the sight of his turned back and ass waving in the breeze. Child.

I was really dehydrated. I wrinkled my nose noticing that none to subtle signs my body was giving off. I only realised I'd had nothing to drink all day yesterday. I should have been dying of thirst but the cold weather seemed to have shut that response off. Surely I had to have some kind of water somewhere. I knew well enough not to eat snow or ice. It lowered your core temperature too much and could cause hyperthermia. Another thing I was going to have to ask Clint. I pulled my pants back up and walked back up to Clint. I had been right, he had written his name in the snow while peeing.

"You're such a five year old," I scoffed at him, but couldn't keep the grin off my face. Little things like this really helped making the day a little more bearable.

"I know." Clint grinned back admiring his handiwork.

"So another stupid question from me," I said deciding not to encourage him any further. "Apparently, I'm dehydrated and I'm smart enough not to eat snow. Any suggestions?"

"You can eat the snow if you're moving so your body temperature doesn't drop that much or just wait a few hours," Clint said with a small quirk of his eyebrow. "Where did you learn that?"

"SERE training," I said simply. As shitty as SERE training had been, it was probably one of the more exciting thing I'd done in the Air Force. "What's in a few hours?"

"Checkpoint, it's not much but there's coffee, water and something to eat," Clint explained. "Why did you do SERE training?"

"Because I requested to be deployed," I gave Clint a confused look. It was a standard thing to need if you were going into a combat situation. "You need to know what to do if you were ever shot down over enemy territory."

"Flying Raptors wasn't enough adrenaline for you?" Clint asked. There was a slightly teasing tone behind his voice, but also curiosity. We hadn't spoken much of my time in the Air Force. It was still a sore subject for me.

"It wasn't that." I bit my lip contemplating how to explain this. Even to me, it sounded a bit odd. "It was I wanted to make a difference. This sounds so fucking corny but I really did want to feel like I was doing some good in this world. I'd hear nothing but all the things SHIELD were doing all from my family. I guess I just wanted to prove to myself, and everyone else that I could do some good in the world without being part of SHIELD."

"That's not corny." Clint's mouth quirked up in a small smile. "Its pretty admirable really. So what was SERE training like?"

"Two weeks of classroom lectures and another week of being yelled at, hungry, sleep deprived and miserable." I looked around me with a wry grin ."I guess this is a slight improvement."

"At least we have chocolate to make everything better."

The rest of the hike passed in a cold blur that morning. It was about midday when we reached the checkpoint. It was nothing more than a hollowed out cave in the side of the mountain we were currently climbing. But it was out of the cold and well stocked. Somewhere during the morning, I'd begun to get blisters on my feet. By the time we'd stopped it felt like I was missing half the skin off my heel. The first thing I snatched up was a medical kit, along with a bottle of water. I drained the bottle in under a minute and plonked myself down, working the frozen laces off my boots off. I tried not to grimace too much as I pulled it off, along with my socks inspecting the damage. It wasn't as bad as it felt. My entire heel was pretty red raw, but the blisters had already popped.

"Ow," I grumbled poking the offending hurt area. Not wanting to keep my foot out in the cold for much longer I rummaged through the medical kit for what I needed. Condoms were the best thing you could put over blisters when you had to keep walking. I learnt that trick very quickly when breaking in new boots int he Air Force. Clint was watching me as I pulled a few things out, still looking for the missing item.

"Do you know what you're looking for?" He asked. He was watching me carefully as if to judge if I actually knew what I was doing.

"Condom," I said. A small smile tugged at my lips as I decided to be a bit of a smart ass. "Preferably something flavoured so my foot smells awesome."

"And you call me a five year old," Clint laughed at me. "When you find them, throw two over here too. My feet are fucked."

Clint's feet weren't in much better shape than mine. While hiking in wet boots would have been torture, doing the miles we had in boots you weren't used to was not exactly fun either. I finally found what I needed and threw a few over to him.

"Plain ones, how boring," Clint joked. He barely winced pulling them over his feet. Unlike me who kept repeating the word ow until my feet were covered. It was a disgusting feeling having a condom on your feet. But my feet would be thanking me later. I put my boots back on and enjoying being off my feet even if it was for a little while. I was too tired to even think about getting up and getting something else to drink. Something I'd regret later on I'm sure of it. I must have dozed off briefly because I jumped when Clint gently nudged my leg.

"I'm awake." I blinked rapidly looking up at him. "What?"

"Come out here for a second" Clint asked motioning towards outside with a jerk of his head. I didn't ask why I climbed to my aching feet and followed him outside. The day was clear with weak sunlight coming through. It just made the glare of the snow fallen from yesterday so much worse. I pulled my sunglasses down to stop myself squinting in the harsh landscape.

"So, we need to go over there." Clint pointed towards the smaller mountain directly in front of us. "Which means we have to climb for a few more hours before snaking our way back down into the valley and then up the other side."

"And?" I asked looking at him blankly.

"Do you think you could build a bridge?" Clint asked looking hopeful. "With your powers? If you go directly across it's only about a mile. Less than what you did across the lake."

"Yeah, but I had the water to freeze in the lake." I pointed out the flaw in the plan. "It made it easier."

"Just try," Clint urged gently. "If you can't do it, then no big deal. If you can, then you can get home quicker to fuck your boyfriend. Laura will love you for getting me home early."

I bit my lip looking out across the expanse. It wasn't just the distance that was worrying me. There'd be a massive drop off if someone slipped. It'd be pretty treacherous going. Especially with the sun being out and making things melt.

"Who's idea was this?" I asked stalling for time trying to think of how I was going to do this. I really wanted to make our life easier and get this over and done with. But I also wasn't sure if this was beyond me or not. As much fun as it'd been freezing the lake. I didn't have a lot of confidence in my ability to make this work.

"Mine," Clint said. "And mine alone. You won't know if you don't try."

Clint had a very good point. I hesitated for another few moments before walking closer to the edge of the mountain. I crouched down, wanting to feel where I was forming the ice instead of trying to concentrate on just making it happen. I bit my lip, before pushing my power out and watched the ice fan out from my hands forming a wide sheet of ice before pushing it outwards.

It took a lot more concentration than using the water from the lake. But there was plenty of moisture in the air from the melting ice and snow already on the ground. I watched as the bridge grew out across the expanse until I got halfway across. I pulled my hands back, breathing heavily from the exertion of the concentration.

"I need to get out there to finish it." I turned to look back at Clint. He was standing there watching me do it with a smile on his face. "What?"

"I knew you could do it." Clint gave me a proud look. "I'll get some rope so we can make a handrail when we get to the other side."

I sat on the ground as he turned back to the cave to get what we needed. It was hard to believe what I'd just done. I'd made the sheet of ice six feet wide and half a mile long. I'd never believed I could actually do something like that still. It took a lot out of me though, I was already tired and now I was teetering on the edge of exhaustion. The mental effort of the concentration it required to manipulate was just as exhausting as the miles we'd covered by foot just getting here.

"Ready?" Clint seemed to be back within seconds. I jumped at the sound of his voice.

"Sure," I said half heartedly.

Clint had a huge length of rope that he'd secured into the rock wall. He was giving it a few very hard yanks to make sure it wasn't moving. He tied one end off on his belt, then the other to me.

"Scared of heights?" Clint asked as he secured the knot on my belt.

"No." I shook my head."Most definitely not scared of heights. What about you?"

"Only if I'm falling from them," Clint said with an amused chuckle. "All right lets go, Rumlow will come out in a second to make sure the rope stays put."

I felt a rush of nerves stepping out onto the platform of ice. Unlike stepping onto the lake where the worst thing that could happen was falling into the cold water. This was a 200 foot drop onto the rocks, not something anyone could survive. I tapped my foot on the ice a few times to give myself some certainty it would break as soon as I stood on it. The platform was a good four and a half feet thick. It should be able to hold a lot of weight. Stepping out onto it was a bit unnerving for the first few steps until I became surer of myself. Clint followed behind me, his footsteps sure and steady. It was reassuring to know he trusted me enough not to kill us both if I'd fucked this up. It took us ten minutes to reach the edge of the platform. The going was made slow only by the wind that picked up as soon as we got away from the shelter of the mountain. I had to stop and catch my breath before I could do anything else.

"Sorry, it's a bit exhausting doing it," I apologised to Clint as I sat down again. "And I'm wrecked already."

"You don't need to apologise." Clint gave my shoulder a reassuring pat. "You're doing awesome. Whenever your ready is fine, there's no rush. Want some chocolate?"

"Stupid question," I laughed breathlessly.

This time it was just a plain Hershey's bar, but it was still good. The sugar was enough to perk me up again a few minutes later and finish building the bridge. By the time I was done, the sun had disappeared behind the growing clouds again. Even if it gave us a ten minutes reprieve, it was better than the weak sunlight slowly melting the bridge making it slippery. Clint and I walked the rest of the way and I collapsed as soon as we hit solid ground again. Clint didn't falter, he undid the rope from both of us and tied a long thin spike on the end on it.

"Watch out for a second," Clint said. I scooted out of the way on my ass and watched him curiously. He banged the spike against the rock and held it there. The point started to automatically drill in with a faint whirring sound and stopped a few seconds later. A solid thunk came from deep within the rock.

"Self drilling and embedding," Clint explained to me, as he caught my expression. "It won't come out unless the mountain comes down."

"That's reassuring." I tried to smile but I could only manage a small quick of my lips. "I feel like such a wuss, but can I grab ten minutes of sleep? I'm shattered now."

"You can have as much as you want." Clint smiled down at me, looking very smug and proud at the same time. "Considering you just cut a day and a half off. If you go about twenty feet to your right there's a small hollowed out space. It's not much, but it'll get you out of the weather."

We'd come over onto a large overhang of rock. It was protected from the sun here so there was still plenty of fresh snow on the ground. With the clouds coming over the wind started to pick up again making the temperature dropped dramatically. I didn't need to be told twice to get out of the weather for a sleep. I went to where Clint directed me, fell on the floor and was asleep on my arm instantly.

"Kari." Clint shook me again awake. I sleepily looked up at him. It'd only felt like seconds since I'd fallen asleep.

"We've got a blizzard coming in," Clint said, crouching down next to me. "I know you're tired but we need to get moving."

"Okay," I murmured pushing myself up into a sitting position. "How long to get off this mountain?"

"A day, or twenty minutes if you can do another bridge," Clint said carefully. "Any chance you can?"

I was really tired. But with the impending weather, I could definitely push myself to do it.

"I have chocolate." Clint pulled out another Mars Bar, waving it around with a small smile. "Is that bribery enough?"

"You owe me a bottle of scotch when this is all over." I couldn't help but return the smile. Clint could be very charming when he wanted something. "But chocolate will be good for now."

"Whatever scotch you want it yours," Clint chuckled handing the Mars Bar over. "I'm sure everyone here will chip in to get something really fucking expensive since you're getting us done in half the time it normally takes."

I got to my feet and nibbled at the chocolate, following Clint out of the little alcove. We left the two teams as Clint and I carefully skirted around the mountain face. Besides the overhand we were on there wasn't a lot of walking room. It was another narrow track, only wide enough for one person. As soon as we caught sight of the last mountain, I knelt down to start making another bridge. My hands were shaking this time and it was a lot of effort to keep it going. I doubled my efforts to make sure this one would work just as well. The distance wasn't as far, and the next mountain was smaller making it easier to push the bridge downhill. It took me fifteen minutes to get it finished.

"How much further do we have before we make it to safety?" I eyed off the incoming weather. It was still a few hours away but the snowstorm was promising to be nasty. I wasn't sure how long I was going to be able to keep going as well.

"This is the easy part," Clint reassured me. "We get to that side and it's about an hour climb down. It's really short and sharp instead of winding down. The cabin is only another hour from that. You good?"

Two hours. That's all I had to hold out for. Then this would all be over and I could have a shower and bed. I nodded, not having the energy to speak.

"Hey, you're doing awesome." Clint gave my shoulder a squeeze. "Come on, we're nearly home."

I'm sure I slept walked most of the next hour. I barely remembered crossing the bridge. By the time we'd hit the flat ground I was half propped against Clint as we walked along. I was randomly going through songs in my head just to keep myself going. Clint encouraged me very quietly the entire way. I expected some ribbing for being the only one staggering along. But no one said anything. There was the buzz of chatter going through the group. It got louder the closer we got to the cabin.

"I can carry you if you want," Clint said quietly as I stumbled and nearly took both of us out. Clint managed to regain his balance but I fell to my knees. I scrambled back to my feet before anyone could see what happened.

"Not a chance, I'm already expecting teasing for being the only one looking completely shattered," I murmured feeling embarrassed Clint even suggested that.

"You're allowed to be the only one completely shattered," Clint said gently. "You got us here in record time. No one is going to give you shit and if they do they can answer to me. That's a guarantee no one will mess with you."

I laughed quietly but didn't have anything else to say. There definitely was a distinct advantage on being STRIKE Team Delta. No one would ever be game to say anything within earshot of Clint or Natasha about me.

"Come on, not far to go," Clint slung his arm around my shoulders. The simple gesture looked innocent enough but it allowed me to lean against him better. "Only about half a mile to go. Then we can all sleep until our extraction comes."

Half a mile. Just half a mile. I kept repeating that in my head as I walked with Clint. We were the last ones to make it to the cabin. It was huge. The cabin was too nice of a word for it really. It looked like a mini hotel. I just hoped it had a bed and somewhere to have a shower. Stepping into the mud room of it made me sweat instantly from the heat coming from inside. I peeled off my outer layers, kicked my boots off and let Clint guide me to the nearest bed. I passed out instantly.

When I woke up again I had a pounding headache and my muscles refused to cooperate. Everything around me was quiet and I rolled over onto my back to look around the room. I hadn't paid any attention to my surroundings when we first got in here. The large hall was set up almost like an old school dormitory. Rows of bunk beds lined it and in the semi darkness, I could see plenty of bodies occupying the beds as well. I was wrapped up in a warm blanket on a bottom bunk. To my left, a hand was dangling down from the top bed. I was so comfortable I was tempted to just go back to sleep. But the more I was awake, the more aware of how hungry, thirsty and in desperate need of a shower, I was.

I quietly rolled out of the bed and padded across the room to the door. It had been left open and the light was streaming from the hallway into the room. There were murmured voices coming from towards the room near the entrance and I could hear water running from the other direction. Food and something to drink won out first in the needs department. I walked towards the sound of the voices and into a large room with a few couches scattered around it, and most importantly a large kitchen at the other end of the room.

A large window caught my attention before anything else did. I stared out of it, not sure if I was seeing things right.

A snow drift had piled up against the window. You couldn't see out of it. By the looks of things, the threatening blizzard had snowed us in. Turning around to look out the other window on the other side of the room I was faced with the exact same thing.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 6th June 2018


	16. Chapter 16

"I'm out," Rumlow said in disgust throwing his cards down, glaring at me from across the table. I just smiled and reached over to add to my ever growing collection of poker chips I'd won. Again.

"So, what did you have?" Clint asked leaning back in the chair. He'd thrown his hand in first, giving up on this round.

We were trapped in a cabin for the next 48 hours with no way out. Of course, someone would suggest playing poker to pass the time. If there's one useful thing Jared taught me, it was some good poker playing and bluffing skills. More bluffing than playing. I got sick of losing while I was in the flight school, so I roped him into teaching me how to bluff my way through it. Along the way, I'd actually ended up as half decent player. Right now I was playing against Rumlow and Clint. Both were losing spectacularly after I declared I really didn't know how to play too well. I'd sat there patiently letting them guide me through it while I watched both of them for how they played.

"Pair of twos," I laughed smugly stacking my chips up. "What did you have?"

"I fucking hate you," Rumlow growled at me. "How do you do that? I had a pair of 8's"

"You fell for the dumb blonde who doesn't know how to play cards routine a bit too well." I couldn't keep the smugness from my voice. "Never trust a pretty face Rumlow, it'll always get you into trouble."

"Have you been taking lessons from Romanoff?" Rumlow still looked annoyed.

"Jared actually, he taught me how to bluff my way through playing." I shrugged picking up a chip and letting it fall back on the pile. The clink of it hitting the other chips was very satisfying. "And along the way, I actually learnt how to play."

A cool hand gently tickled the back of my neck. I flinched and looked up, craning my head all the way back. Riley was smiling down at me. He looked like he'd just gotten out of the shower.

I'd slept for hours when we arrived at the cabin. All the way through what was left of the afternoon and nearly all the way through the night. Only a handful of guys on Bravo team had been awake and I didn't know any of them well enough to sit and have a conversation with them. I'd taken advantage of the early hour and had a shower in relative peace. I enjoyed soaking under the hot water for far too long and I was wrinkly and bright red by the time I'd gotten out. SHIELD provided a change of uniforms and although it took some digging around to find something in my size, it was nice to be wearing clean clothes, despite the lack of women's underwear. I wondered what'd happened to mine that I'd stripped off and left on the floor with the rest of my wet clothes. I hadn't given it a second thought until I had to get dressed. When I'd gotten out of the bathroom, Clint was up and drinking straight from a coffee pot. Seeing me awake he just held out the pot with a sheepish grin. At least he added milk. He'd also put on a big batch of oatmeal. We drank and ate talking about what happened while I was asleep.

I'd missed the radio call from SHIELD saying that our weather was savage and there wouldn't be any extraction for another 48 hours. At least. We had to sit tight and wait it out the snow storm that was lashing the area. At least we'd made it off the mountains and into cover. A fact which everyone was eternally grateful for as Clint told me. Right now all we could do was sit tight, enjoy the DVD collection and warm beds. The cabin was well stocked, well fortified and had its own power source. We could survive out here for a month if we had to. It killed our idea of getting home early but at least we were safe.

"Wanna play?" I asked with a flirty smile."These two are sore losers."

"Not a chance," Riley laughed, holding his hands up in surrender. "I'm terrible at poker."

"We could change it to strip poker to give you some incentive to learn," Clint said smugly gathering the cards and shuffling them. I'd watched him very carefully while he was doing it. I wouldn't put it past Clint to cheat.

"Or we could not." I shot Clint a dirty look. "Especially since I'm the only girl here and SHIELD didn't think to provide some girls underwear with a change of clothes."

"We'd get a few more players that way." Rumlow joined in on the teasing. I picked up a chip and threw it at him. It bounced off his forehead, which only made him laugh.

"I can't deal with this conversation without coffee and real food." Riley shook his head at our antics. "Back in a minute."

As Riley walked away I couldn't help but stare at the way his pants were just hanging off his hips. It seemed I wasn't the only one having problems finding clothes to fit. Although he was muscly, he wasn't anywhere near as big as most of the other guys. Not that I was complaining, it was a nice view. I lent back in my chair a little bit, rocking it back onto two legs to keep enjoying the view while he walked across the room. I was too engrossed in my little stare I didn't notice Clint's foot under my chair legs until it was a second too late. He hooked his foot around one of the legs I was balancing on and yanked his foot back. I wobbled briefly and with a very indignant and very girly shriek, landed on my ass. I sat there for a moment blinking stupidly until Clint and Rumlow both burst out laughing. I scowled at both of them.

"You scream like a girl," Clint was laughing so hard he could barely speak. "Oh, that was classic."

"I AM a girl," I bit back, yelling louder than I really meant to at Clint. "Of course I scream like a girl!"

"Sorry, Kari," Clint could barely speak he was laughing so hard. He did offer me his hand to help me up, which I took after glaring at it for a moment.

I sat back down in my chair with as much dignity as I could muster. Which wasn't much after how loudly I just shrieked. At least Riley had turned around to make sure I hadn't died or broken anything. He had his back to me again, but I could see his shoulders shaking in silent laughter.

"Consider it payback for kicking me in the balls the other day," Clint's laughter finally died down enough so he could speak properly. He had such a smug grin on his face. "It was too good of an opportunity to miss."

"Just you wait, you're going to be in a world of hurt." I was still scowling. "And it'll be when you least expect it."

"Oh, bring it on baby." Clint grinned as he lent back in his chair looking smug. "We haven't had a good prank war in a long time."

Uh oh. That didn't sound like it was going to end well for me. I was never any good at pranks. My excitement always gave it away. I was going to definitely need help if this was happening. I looked to Rumlow and he was instantly shaking his head.

"Hell fucking no, I am not getting involved in Barton's prank wars," Rumlow said firmly. "Last time it happened people were walking around the Triskelion in full body armour because you never knew when he was going to strike."

"Yes, they did." Clint put his hands behind his head looking extremely pleased with himself. "That'll teach you fuckers to let off a pink glitter bomb in my locker."

"Who was stupid enough to do that?" I asked curiously. Most people were intimidated by Clint. I could count on one hand the number of people who would be game to do something like that.

"Your fucking twin is who it was," Clint informed me with a slight scowl. "With Nat's help of course. And who's idea was it?"

Clint turned to look at Rumlow, who had suddenly taken an interest in the wall behind me.

"No idea," Rumlow said innocently, actively avoiding looking at both Clint and I. "Seriously have no idea what you're talking about."

I don't think my eyebrows could climb any higher up my forehead than they already have. Rumlow was full of surprises.

"Right, this story I need to hear," I asked laughing. "Come on Brock, spill."

"No fucking way," Rumlow said with a small laugh before dropping his voice. "Well, maybe later if you get lucky."

I was definitely going to get lucky. I wasn't going to stop until I found out the story behind this. Riley came over with a mug of coffee, like a normal respectable person, and a bowl of cereal piled so high he had to be careful when putting it down so it didn't spill everywhere.

"Is this the story about when Rumlow dared Jared to put a glitter bomb in Barton's locker for a grand?" Riley asked innocently. Far too innocently. "And then no one would own up to it so Barton hid in the air vents shooting people until Coulson tasered him?"

I gaped at Riley not sure if he was being serious or not. By the glares Rumlow and Clint were both shooting him my guess was every word he said was true.

"Wait, Coulson tasered you?" I turned to Clint before it clicked in my mind about what Rumlow had bet Jared. "And you were stupid enough to offer Jared money for something?"

Jared never turned down anything if there was money involved. Ever. He'd probably run naked through the streets of DC if someone paid him enough.

"Coulson has no problem tasering anyone," Clint laughed ignoring my question. "Especially if you touch any of his card collection or Lola."

"What's Lola?" I hated always having to ask these things. I felt like such a rookie when I did it.

"Lola is Coulson's 1962 Chevy Corvette, fully restored," Clint explained. "It's his baby. Don't ever touch Lola without permission. Ask Jared what happens when you decide to borrow it for a joy ride."

"I'm not sure who corrupted who sometimes," I said with a shake of my head. "Jared was always pretty wild. These stories I keep hearing make me think wild is too nice of a word for it."

"Fucking crazy is too nice of a word for it." Riley put into the conversation. "I have no idea how he gets away with it."

"Charming smile and the ability to talk his way out of anything," I said dryly. "His nickname when we were kids was Sidestep because he was always stepping out of trouble. By the skin of his teeth most of the time too. I'm the well behaved child."

"So am I." Riley flashed a charming grin. That was a grin that would make me do anything to see again. "My sister was always the one who caused trouble. Maybe we should get her and Jared together?"

"Please let's not encourage hooking Jared up with anyone," Clint cut in before a scheme could be cooked up. "He's got a big enough harem as it is."

"Stop corrupting my marksman," Evan's voice made all of us look around to see him walk through the lounge room into the kitchen. "He's my golden boy. I don't need him turning out like Barton or Jared."

"He was my marksman first," Rumlow argued. "You stole him from me."

"And he's mine now, so don't be giving him any ideas on how to misbehave," Evans argued back. "I like having at least one member of my team I can trust not to get arrested on a regular basis."

"Here I was thinking you actually liked me for my personality, Evans," Riley said smartly. "Now I know that isn't true. I feel like I'm being fought over for dodgeball."

"I wouldn't know," I chuckled. The cheeky side of Riley was very cute. "Dodgeball was banned at my school."

"That's because dodgeball at your school would have been a level eight SHIELD threat," Clint joked. "Not to mention, absolutely terrifying and downright cheating."

Riley nodded vigorously in agreement.

"Lots of fun though," I smiled, thinking back to those out of control games which mostly ended up being people showing off their powers. "We may have snuck a few games in when teachers weren't looking. We always got caught in the end."

"For those of us who have no idea what's going on in this conversation." Rumlow raised his hand. "Explain."

"I went to Professor Xavier's academy until high school," I explained rolling my eyes at Rumlow. "God, you're slow sometimes Rumlow."

"I need to take my boots off to count to 20 remember," Rumlow shot back. My, weren't we all full of sass this morning? "They only teach us to be dumb grunts at the Academy. Isn't that right Barton?"

"Don't drag me into this," Clint said instantly, pointing his finger at Rumlow. "They couldn't wait to get me out of the Academy, I think I was fast tracked on purpose. I can count higher than 20, unlike some people."

"That's because you were a little asshole," Evans said bringing a chair over and sitting between Riley and I. There really wasn't enough room for him so we both had to scoot over and away from each other. It made me glance around the back of Evans to Riley who was giving him a dirty look. Clint smiled innocently at Evans.

"Do you feel cock blocked?" I asked Riley behind Evans' back. Clint had just gone to take a drink of coffee and nearly inhaled it through his nose. He hid his snort and cough in the crook of his elbow.

"Very cock blocked," Riley grumbled but he couldn't keep the smile off his face. "I'm a teenager again and my chaperone is sitting between me and my date at the movies."

"I'm old enough to be your father, both of you," Evans took a drink his coffee not looking perturbed at all. "I'm getting too old for this shit."

It was the first time I'd actually been close enough to the STRIKE Team Bravo's leader to get a good look at him. Or that he actually spoke to me. He really did look old enough to be my father. He was have been in his mid forties. It was only his face which gave his age away. He looked just as fit as all of the younger STRIKE guys.

"On the bright side, we're in here and not outside in the blizzard." Clint pointed out."And you're not that much older than Coulson. Look at what he has to put up with."

"Which I'm eternally grateful for." Evans looked tired as he sipped his coffee. "Is it still snowing?"

I looked out the window which was just a sheet of white now. The snow was piled right up with no hope of seeing out of them. How we were going to get out was a mystery to me. Maybe SHIELD had invented something that heats the outside of the cabin to make the snow melt.

"Yep," Clint said sounding a bit disgruntled. "It's heavy too, you can hear the snow sliding off the roof every so often. If it stops sometime today we might be able to get out tomorrow."

"In that case, I'm going back to bed," Evans drained the last of his coffee and stood up. As he did he gave my shoulder a brief clap. "Thanks for getting us out of the weather."

"You're welcome," I said, scooting my chair back over next to Riley. I didn't miss the roll of eyes from Evans as he walked back to the large dormitory style bedroom.

"So, how are we actually going to get out once the weather clears up?" I asked turning back to the others sitting at the table. "And what the hell are we going to do until that happens?"

"There's a big DVD collection," Clint shrugged. "That's about it. Give it a few hours and everyone will start going stir crazy. Don't worry about getting out. SHIELD has its ways."

I glanced at Riley thinking of the ways I'd like to be spending the time. There was absolutely no privacy here so all my thoughts were null and void. He caught my look at well and shrugged, looking as disappointed as I felt. Sometimes life seemed like it was working against us.

"I'm putting Harry Potter on and if anyone complains they can answer to me." Clint stood up taking his coffee pot with him. "Starting with the first one."

"I have no complaints about that at all." I stood up as well. Poker was getting boring with me winning all the time. I'd happily laze on the couch all day considering how busy my last few weeks had been.

"I don't think I've seen Harry Potter," Riley admitted with a nervous laugh. Both Clint and I shot him a look of disbelief. "I have read the books though."

"At least there's something redeemable in there," I teased him. "Come on, you have to watch the movies now."

The rest of the day and a good part into the night was spent sprawled out over the couch with our Harry Potter marathon. I fell asleep against Riley halfway through the second movie and didn't wake until the start of the third. Rumlow joined us on and off throughout the movies, along with a few other members of the teams. Everyone must have still been tired from the long trek here because by 9pm everyone had gone to bed. I was fighting staying awake because I was too comfortable cuddled against Riley to actually move. I'd barely moved off the couch all day, feeling way too exhausted even though I'd gotten more than enough sleep last night. I'd only moved for food and toilet breaks. I fell asleep again about five minutes into the Order of the Phoenix.

I don't know what woke me up at first. The entire room was dark and I was lying on my side still on the couch. I could feel someone behind me, judging by the closeness they were holding me I was guessing it was Riley. Someone had draped a blanket over me and put a pillow under my head. I blinked a few times trying to get my bearings. I buried my head back into the pillow, closing my eyes to go back to sleep. I'd nearly drifted back off when there was a muffled gasp behind me waking me back up. The grip on my waist tightened momentarily before letting go. I could feel a few short and shaky breaths on my neck.

"Fuck it." It was Riley's whispered voice behind me. I felt his forehead fall against the back of my head with him still breathing heavily.

"You all right?" I asked quietly keeping still.

"No," Riley's voice sounded so small and uncertain. "But give me a second and I will be."

I didn't say anything. I waited until Riley's breathing had returned to normal before wriggling around so I was facing him. I could just make him out in the darkness. He gave me a wavering smile and ran his fingers down my cheek.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked leaning against his touch. I put my hand over his fingers, stilling them on my skin.

"Not really," Riley said tightly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. It was just a stupid dream. It comes with the job sometimes."

"I was awake before you woke up." I smiled, hoping it might put him more at ease and pulled myself closer to him. "So don't apologise, I'm here if you want me."

Riley was silent as he held me close. His thumb ran over the skin of my cheek almost absently. He looked so lost in thought and still half caught up in whatever nightmare he'd just woken up from. I reached up and kissed him gently, tangling my hand in his sleep messed up hair. He looked like he needed a distraction and I knew the perfect way to do it. He sighed quietly against my lips before responding. His hand came around to the back of my neck, pulling me in closer and teasing his tongue against my lips. I nipped his bottom lip gently before responding to his teasing tongue. My hands had a mind of their own as they made their way down to Riley's pants and had his belt and top button undone before he realised what I was doing. My hand dipped into his pants, gleeful that he wasn't wearing underwear.

"What are you…" Riley started pulling back from our kiss. His words died as I gripped his half erect cock. His words turned into a muffled groan as he buried his head in the crock of my neck, his hips involuntarily jerking pushing him into my hand. I teased my hand up and down a few times before gripping his cock harder. He was definitely packing in that department.

"Want me to stop?" I whispered against his head which was still buried in my neck. Riley shook his head but otherwise didn't move. I smiled kissing his ear, which was the only part of him visible as I continued our naughty make out session under the blankets. As my hand stroked him I was getting more and more turned on by the little gasps and groans coming from Riley. He was doing his best to keep them muffled, but I could feel the vibrations coming from his lips on my skin. It just made my hand move faster. Riley was pushing himself against me as if to try and get more friction on my hand.

Riley's head came up and his lips crushed against mine. It was hot, passionate and very demanding. I couldn't stop the moan against his lips as we kissed. Only a few seconds later Riley's hips jerked uncontrollably and he stilled as he came. He broke the kiss and buried his head back into my neck, trying hard to keep quiet as he pushed himself into me as close as we could humanly get. I held onto him for a few more seconds after he was done, before taking my hand out of his pants. I doubt he even noticed me wiping my hand on the inside of his pants.

"Holy shit," Riley gasped breathing heavily against me.

I grinned, placing a kiss his temple and waited for him to come down from his high. It took a couple of minutes before he swallowed heavily and took his head from my neck and looked at me with a grin.

"Enjoy?" I asked with a sly grin.

"I think I embarrassed myself how quickly I just blew," Riley was still breathless. "You're so naughty. I enjoyed myself very much. I don't remember the last time I had a hand job like that."

"Wait until I blow you," I teased. "You won't ever want to leave me."

"If its half as good as your hand job I'm going to lock you in my bedroom so you can't ever escape," Riley teased back, laughing at me quietly.

He leant forward and kissed me again. I smiled against his lips and kissed him back. This time it was Riley's hand straying down my body. He hesitated at where my shirt had pulled up just over my hips, leaving a line of bare skin exposed. Still kissing him, I took his hand and put it between my legs, pressing up against it.

"Is that a hint?" Riley chuckled breaking away from our kiss.

As he spoke he ran his fingers up and down teasingly. It made me shiver in anticipation. I nodded, not actually trusting my voice to speak right now. I'd been wanting this for weeks. It was definitely not the time or place to be doing it. But that just added to the excitement.

"You know I'd much rather repay the favour by going down on you," Riley trailed a few kisses down my neck. He gently nipped me right above my pulse point. I bit my lip so hard to stop the moan escaping, I was sure I was going to draw blood. He'd barely touched me and I was already wanting more. His hand trailed back up my pants before slowly undoing the button on them. It seemed to take forever as he pulled the zip down and slid his hand into my pants. I still hadn't found any underwear so I was enjoying going commando.

"I like this even more than I liked your hot pink thong." Riley nuzzled my neck as his fingers teased me up and done spreading my wetness all over. If Riley thought he hadn't taken long, he was about to find out the meaning of a quick orgasm. His fingers dipped into me, this time I couldn't stop myself. My hips flexed and I moaned at his touch. Riley was quick to kiss me to muffle the sound. His fingers found my clit drawing lazy circles around it.

"Fuck," I gasped. My entire body felt like it was on fire now. I was writhing under his gentle ministration on my body. The anticipation of this had been well worth the wait. Riley knew exactly what he was doing. He alternated between lazy circles, to firmer rubbing and seemed to know how to play my body the way I liked it. It didn't take much to push me over the edge. Riley kissed me again right as my orgasm hit, muffling all the sound coming from me as I rode it out. My entire mind went blank at how intense it was. It took me a good minute to be able to come back to my senses.

"Wow." It took me ages to catch my breath again. I looked up at Riley who was looking very pleased with himself. "If you can do that with just your fingers, I can't wait to find out what you can do with your tongue."

"That is going to have to wait until we get home," Riley looked so pleased with himself. "Because this time I don't want to muffle any sounds coming from you."

"Well, if you can do that again your neighbours are about to find out your name," I chuckled. My eyelids were already drooping again, threatening to snap shut on me. I was more than ready to go back to sleep and enjoy my post orgasmic haze. I couldn't stop myself yawning.

"Do you want to move to a bed?" Riley asked.

"Nope." I rolled over onto my other side, so Riley could spoon me. "I'm comfortable right here with my sex god behind me."

Riley chuckled but said nothing. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me close again. He kissed my neck before settled in behind me. I nearly drifted back off to sleep before Riley woke me up again.

"Thanks for the distraction," Riley said quietly. "I needed it."

"You're welcome." I smiled but didn't open my eyes. "You'd do the same for me."

"Part of me really hopes I wouldn't have to," Riley's sigh was barely audible but it was still there. "But this is a crazy life we lead."

"Crazy doesn't quite describe it," I said quietly. My voice was getting softer as I drifted off to sleep. "At least I found someone who shares in the crazy with me."

"This makes getting shot worth it," Riley nuzzled the back of my neck and kissed the bare skin. "Very worth it."

* * *

 

"101, 102, 103," the voices chanted around the room.

I was sitting on the couch enjoying the sight of ten very muscly guys having a push-up competition. All shirtless. I had died and gone to muscle heaven. Sipping my third cup of coffee for the morning I was definitely enjoying myself.

It was mid morning in our second day. Everyone was well fed and well rested meaning there was an overabundance of energy bouncing around the cabin. And testosterone. For a group of people who worked out for hours on end every day it was a bad combination. There had already been suggestions on moving the furniture around so people could spar later on. Clint had been pushing me to have a turn with someone else besides him.

"159, 160, 161."

I hid my grin behind my coffee mug. Riley was still in the group making it look effortless. He was the one I was enjoying watching the most. I think there was a little bit of showing off going on as he kept sneaking me cheeky little grins. Both Clint and Rumlow were now doing their pushups one handed. Their smug looks seemed to be daring each other to be the first one who failed.

"I can do this all day Rumlow," Clint said easily. He wasn't even breathing heavily yet. "Are you going to give up?"

"No," Rumlow said back cockily ."Because if I win you're buying drinks for my entire team when we get back."

"And you're buying something really fucking awesome for my team if I win." Clint was quick to reply. "What do you want Kari?"

"A bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue will do me," I said straight away."And I'm guessing something really expensive in vodka for Natasha."

"Belvedere to get drunk on or Grey Goose Magnum to enjoy," Clint supplied sending me a wink. "And I'll second that bottle of Johhnie Walker Blue, thanks Rumlow."

"Fucking expensive taste the three of you." Rumlow shook his head and switched arms. "That doesn't mean that you will win though."

"I don't ever lose." Clint switched arms as well. He reached up and faked a yawn covering his mouth with his free arm. "It's pretty boring actually. All I'm doing is waiting for you to give up."

Everyone else had stopped by now watching the pair doing their verbal spar as they kept going. I was mentally keeping count in my head while watching them. It was until 300 that Rumlow actually broke out in a sweat. He and Clint kept going with their taunts and eventually insults to try and distract each other.

By 450 Clint started to break out into a sweat as well. Rumlow was beginning to lose a ground by going slower. He just wasn't quite matching Clint, but the difference beginning to be noticeable.

"I can almost taste that bottle of scotch," I teased Rumlow. "It's going to be so fucking good."

I didn't get an answer. But Rumlow did speed up again. For another 20 at least. Riley came over to sit next to me as he watched the pair of them continue.

"Just so we're clear," Riley lent over and fake whispered to me. "We're sharing this bottle of scotch aren't we?"

"We so are," I said smugly. "You and me once we get back. I'm thinking Thai sounds like it'll go pretty good with it."

"You aren't getting that bottle of scotch," Rumlow argued through his heavy breathing. "I'm not losing."

"Looks to me that you are." I pointed out smugly. While taking the breath to reply to me he'd just fallen behind by two push-ups.

"Aw, fuck it, I'm done." Rumlow let himself collapse to the floor. He rolled over onto his back breathing heavily. Clint pushed himself into a sitting position looking very smug.

"Champion effort," Clint said crispy. "I do love it when you admit defeat to my superior athletic ability."

"It makes up for your lack of intellectual ability." Rumlow put his hands on his head trying to slow his breathing down. He looked completely fucked. "Dammit, how the fuck do you do it every single time?"

"Archer," Clint said smugly. "Do you think my bows pull themselves back? I have draw weights that are bigger than what Kari weighs."

"Hey, don't bring me into this," I laughed. "And leave my skinniness alone. Not my fault it's genetic."

"Jared isn't that skinny." Rumlow pointed out looking up at me from his position still on the floor.

"That's because he works out," I argued back. "If there's hope for him to put on muscle then there's hope for me."

"Jared only works out because he likes to check out the girls in the gym," Riley put in with a small smirk. "And I think he likes sparring with Romanoff because she pins him between her thighs."

Clint made a strangled sound that was caught between hysterical laughter and mortification. I frowned at both of them, not sure if I was getting the implication behind those words.

"Wait, no fucking way." I was horrified at that thought. "Please tell me they aren't fucking? She's the only female friend I've had and I couldn't deal with it if she went there with my whore of a brother."

"Oh they aren't fucking," Clint quickly reassured me."Trust me on that. Nat would eat him alive. There's more than one reason why she's called Black Widow."

"The thought of it just…" I trailed off and shuddered. "Ugh, no, on so many levels. Actually, I don't even need to think about my brother's sex life. I hear the giggles and fawning that follow him around at work. That's bad enough."

"Oh please," Rumlow cut in. "Like watching you and Riley giggle and fawn over each other for a month wasn't bad enough."

"I never giggled." I pulled a face down at Rumlow. "Or fawned. I just enjoying the lift up onto the chin up bar every single morning. Where's the harm in that?"

"And I enjoying giving you that lift up every single morning too," Riley grinned at me.

"You two are sickening." Clint rolled his eyes at us. "Wanna spar, Kari?"

"In other words, you're feeling macho and feel the need to kick my ass too." I faked a dramatic sigh. "Fine."

"Actually." Rumlow pushed himself back up into the sitting position looking at me. "Wanna go a few rounds with me?"

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. I'd completely forgotten about Clint's comment about Rumlow a few days ago with sparring with someone else. Well, there was nothing else to do so why not? I'd probably get my ass handed to me in a few minutes anyway. It'd pass the time and give everyone something to laugh at.

"Sure," I said easily. "Just don't kill me."

"I'll only hit half strength, I promise." Rumlow looked gleeful as he sprung to his feet. "This should be fun."

I don't know if fun was going to be the right word for it. This could either go really well. Or fail spectacularly on my behalf. I pushed myself to my feet uncertainly looking around the room. The guys who were out here were looking on with keen interest.

"We'll move the couch." Clint sprung to his feet as well.

Riley gave me an uncertain look before getting off the couch and helping Clint move it out of the way.

"Wanna go a few rounds with me after I kick Rumlow's ass?" I joked more to reassure myself than anything else.

"Sure." Riley flashed me a quick grin. "You've got to kick Rumlow's ass first though."

There was a good incentive to not get my ass handed to me. I had no doubt Riley could knock me flat on my back in a few moves as well. But at least he wouldn't hurt me on purpose. I hiked my pants up a little bit and stood in the now cleared space. Rumlow was watching me carefully, a tiny smug smirk playing on the corners of his lips.

"No hitting full force," I said, reinforcing his earlier statement. "Be nice, I'm skinny and I still break."

"No hitting in the balls," Rumlow added another rule. He was looking far too pleased with this situation. "It's cheating."

"Only if you're the one with balls," I said smartly. I fiddled with my pants again, hiking them up to try and get as comfortable as possible. "All right, I'm ready."

I really wasn't. But I needed to get over my reservation about doing this. It'd been awkward enough the first day Clint had helped me. I might have made some progress since then. I hoped I had anyway. Both Natasha and Clint were reassuring me that I was doing well, despite the fact I could never do anything to actually hit them beyond landing a few blows on Clint.

Rumlow put his fists up, smugness all over his face made him look like he had all the confidence in the world. I took a guard position watching him carefully. He took a few steps to his right and I circled with him never taking my eyes off him. He feinted a quick jab that wouldn't have even hit me. I ignored it, keeping my position. That was a move Natasha made all the time. I'd learnt to ignore it after the first week.

"Come on, someone hit someone," it was Sam calling out obnoxiously. "I want to see blood."

"Ladies first," Rumlow said cheekily.

"Off you go," I replied back smartly.

Rumlow didn't need to be told twice. He came at me with two very quick left and right jabs before throwing in a more wild punch. I managed to duck jabs and block the last punch, grunting slightly at the force actually behind it. If this was him at half strength, I never wanted to be on the receiving end of a full hit. Blocking his wild punch which had gone high enough to force my arm up to block it gave me the perfect opening for a hit to his ribs. It was very satisfying hearing a whoosh of breath leaving him as my fist contacted with his ribs. He quickly stepped out of the way before I could land another.

"Ow," Rumlow laughed shortly but didn't drop his guard.

"Gotta be quicker than that big guy," I teased. Rumlow had nothing on Clint or Natasha. If it'd been either one of them they would have had me in a vice grip and on the floor for the slow punch I'd throw at his ribs. Or maybe Nat and Clint were both just freakishly fast and us mere mortals had to try and keep up with them. Rumlow was a big guy though. His size was his disadvantage here.

We played with each other for another minute. I threw a few punches around just to see how quickly he'd react. I didn't manage to land another blow but I did learn very quickly that Rumlow might be handy with his upper body. But he left most of his lower body unguarded. His stance looked like it came more from boxing training. After I blocked another punch I slid forward on my left leg and threw a punch I knew he'd block. Just as he went to block I quickly stepped to the side and landed a brutal kick right in his lower back. By the grunt of pain coming from him, I'm pretty sure I got him right in the kidneys.

"Nice," Clint called out from the side.

I stopped myself grinning and kept focused. Rumlow was a bit slower to turn around, favouring the right side of his body every so slightly. He shook his head and covered the ground between us quickly. I ducked out of reach from the left hook he went to throw and gave him another smart hit in his ribs. I was a bit too slow to come back up again because Rumlow quickly wrapped his arm around my neck, spinning both of us around so he had me in a choke hold from behind. It wasn't hard, enough for me not to be able to wiggle out of it though.

"Yield?" Rumlow asked with a smug tone.

"Not a chance." I elbowed him in the stomach hard. It was enough to break his grip on me so I could squirm out of his grasp. Using the moment of off balance, I hooked my leg around his knee and yanked it out from underneath him, sending him crashing to the ground. Before he could get up I quickly put my bare foot against his throat and smirked down at him.

"Yield?" I asked.

Rumlow grunted and smacked my leg away looking very begrudging.

"Yield." He looked like a five year old being told he couldn't have something. "This coming from someone who could barely get by in her hand to hand classes. I think you've improved a bit."

"Here's hoping." I couldn't stop the stupid grin appearing on my face before I offered him a hand to get up. Rumlow took it and pulled himself back up.

"Your turn man." He turned to Riley who was standing there with his arms crossed looking impressed. Riley also looked mildly relieved that I was still in one piece.

"No thanks," Riley laughed, shaking his head rapidly. "I think I'll keep my manhood intact over here."

"You and me then." Clint looked very proud. "Same rules. No hitting me in the balls. Again."

As usual, Clint kicked my ass within a minute. Any kind of ego swelling up from beating Rumlow was quickly smacked back down into submission as I lay on the floor winded and sporting some new bruises.

The day continued with much of the same. Sparring was a good way to pass the time. Even if you were only watching it. Most of the guys had their own styles and it was actually educational to watch. Sometimes it was downright hilarious. Riley had surprised the hell out of me though. He was quick on his feet and very brutal. His sparring with Sam ended much the same way mine and Clint's did. With Sam on his back swearing at him for being so fucking agile. After his little display, there was no way I was going to spar with him.

SHIELD radioed in that evening saying they were hoping to get an extraction in by 0600 the next morning. If the weather stayed calm. The snow had stopped that morning. The windows were piled up with snow but the front door was still able to be opened. I couldn't see over the snow drift but there was a very weak sun trying to make its presence known. We were all hoping the weather would be kind enough to stay fine until we could get out of there. I was desperate to continue after our little fun on the couch last night. I thought some action might have tided me over, but I was hornier than ever.

I fell asleep on the couch again. It was a lot more comfortable than actually getting up to move to a bed. When I woke up sometime during the night Riley was behind me fast asleep, arm curled around me. I didn't say anything, I just went back to sleep enjoying him keeping me warm. I didn't wake up again until his watch started to beep in my ear at 0530 to wake up. We were nearly the last ones up. Everyone else seemed to be either up and moving or in the bathroom getting ready for the day.

From there it was an anxious half an hour wait to see if we'd actually get a ride home. Or be stuck here another day. As 0600 rolled around everything was silent outside. I huffed in annoyance and decided to get some breakfast instead. I'd gotten three bites into my peanut butter smothered toast when the sound of a Quinjet filled the air.

The cheers going around the room were contagious.

The heat coming off the Quinjet's engines were enough to melt a path of snow right to it. The ground was horrible and muddy but no one cared. Everyone was on and boarded in five minutes. This time I didn't have to ask the pilot. He handed the controls over instantly. Clint came to sit next to me making conversation.

I wasn't ashamed to admit I shaved off nearly two hours of flying time with the speed I flew us back home. The chastisement from traffic control was well worth what was waiting for me when I got back. I ignored Clint's endless questioning and teasing about why I wanted to get home so quickly. No one else was complaining. It was a relief to see the Triskelion finally in front of us after a few hours. With the Quinjet back in the hanger, I had to stop myself from running to my bike to get back to Riley's place. At least I wasn't the only one hurrying from the jet. Everyone was keen to get home.

"My place or yours?" I asked Riley as I fell into step beside him. He'd waited for me by the ramp while I powered down.

"Mine, want a lift?" Riley asked. Unlike me who was bounding with excitement about being home, he looked more reserved.

"Take me home."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 6th June 2018


	17. Chapter 17

Riley had me pushed up against the lounge room wall, our tongues wrestling as we fumbled with each other's clothes. My legs wrapped around him, he held me up easily like I weighed nothing. It was hot and demanding. Like horny teenagers who couldn't keep their hands off each other. I was already turned on. I could feel his erection digging into me as he pushed his hips into mine while we kissed.

We paused in our kiss so I could yank Riley's t-shirt over his head. His hands were on the hem of my shirt about to do the same to me. Then my phone rang with Natasha's ringtone of Toxic blaring across the room. Riley let me go with a small sigh of frustration and I slid to the ground. I fumbled in my pants reaching for my phone. I was tempted not to answer it but Natasha would keep ringing until I did. I learnt very quickly it was one of her bad and annoying habits.

"What?" I tried to make myself sound as normal as possible.

"Ugh, not you as well." Natasha sounded disgusted. "Typical. I get back the same day as you. Then both you and Barton ditch me in favour for having sex. Hang on, are you having sex?"

Riley started to kiss his way down my neck. His hands went underneath my shirt and straight for my breasts. I bit my lip as his fingers gently rolled my nipples in his hands. He had typical hands for someone in his type of job. Slightly rough and calloused, but they still felt amazing. He knew exactly what he was doing too.

"Who's betting against what at the moment?" It was hard to make my brain focus on the conversation. Riley's wandering hands were more than a distraction.

"My bet was you'd be sleeping together by the end of the month. Barton seems to think if you've got self control now then you'd hold off for a bit longer," Natasha said casually. "Don't let me down, Kari. I'll even shout dinner with the money I win off him."

"Uh huh." It was all I could manage to get out of my mouth. "I'm going."

"Have fun," Natasha said in a sing song voice before hanging up.

I dropped my phone to the ground, not caring about it right now. Riley took the moment of distraction to pull my shirt off, leaving me standing there naked from the waist up. I felt a flicker of self-consciousness finally standing there in front of him with no shirt or bra. I didn't have a lot happening in the breast department. An A cup of not a lot happening. One major drawback of being skinny. I didn't have long to linger on it as Riley's hands were on my pants, undoing them and pushing them off my hips. They were too big on me and slid off easily ending in a puddle of material at my feet. Riley kissing me again left any lingering self conciseness long gone.

Riley picked me up easily. I giggled against his lips as I wrapped my legs around his waist. He wasted no time in getting us to the bedroom and dropping me gently on the bed. I lay on my back, smirking up at him as his eyes roved over my naked body. The way he looked at me made me feel like the sexiest woman alive right now.

"Enjoying the view?" I asked.

Riley didn't have an answer to that. He just nodded falling to his knees on the bed before hovering over me with a boyish grin on his face. I reached up to pull him down to kiss me, but he dodged my hands and lips by going for my neck instead.

"Cheater," I murmured. Riley chuckled against my neck before nipping it gently. The action was enough to make a stifled moan nearly slip from my lips. He wasted no time in kissing down my body. When his lips closed around my nipple, teeth grazing over it I didn't hold back the moan this time. HIs free hand went to my other nipple, gently pinching it and rolling it in his fingers. I squirmed under his ministrations. It felt so good but I wanted more.

"I seem to recall saying I was going to repay the favour from the other night by going down on you." Riley let go of my nipple and looked up at me. "I think it's only fair."

There wasn't any protest from me as Riley went straight between my legs. As his mouth latched onto my clit I lost all coherent thought. Just like with his fingers he knew exactly what he was doing with his mouth and tongue. His tongue danced over my clit as his fingers slid into me easily, crooking and grazing all the right spots. My body wasn't needing much encouragement. The orgasm hit me quickly and hard. I wasn't a screamer, but Riley made me cum hard enough to give his neighbours a clue to what we were doing.

"Holy shit," I managed to gasp out when my brain started to work again. My head fell back against the pillow and I stared at the ceiling barely able to get my bearings. My brain was a puddle of mush and I couldn't string together any type of thought process. My body still felt like it was on fire, despite the earth shattering orgasm I'd just had. It didn't help that Riley was still teasingly running his tongue over me. His chuckle against me sent vibrations through my body making my hips roll up to meet his teasing tongue.

"I could do this all day," Riley murmured as he stopped for a second, dragging his teeth down the inside of my thigh. "You taste so fucking good."

The promise in those words made my body shiver with excitement. I could quite happily let him go down on me as long as he wanted to with that talented tongue of his.

"Where's the fun in that?" It felt near impossible to put a coherent sentence together. While I wasn't going to complain if he did want to go down on me all night. I also wanted him to fuck me. Badly.

"It's lots of fun for me." Riley's breath tickled against my thigh as he kissed it. "Tell me what you want."

He didn't give a chance for me to reply. Pushing my leg over his shoulder, his tongue was back on me. My brain didn't want to work again, it just short circuited and all I could think of was his tongue and the feel of his fingers sliding in and out of me. My fingers tangled in his hair as I lay there gasping and moaning. I wanted to tell him to stop and fuck me instead, but I couldn't manage the words. My legs started to shake as I could feel another orgasm building. Riley seemed to notice as his tongue sped up. His fingers curled inside me, hitting the right spot as my entire body tensed with another orgasm.

It wasn't as intense as the first one. But still enough for me to lose track of my body and brain for a few moments. I was only vaguely aware of Riley chuckling as he kissed his way back up my body as I lay there trying to catch my breath again.

"Enjoy?" Riley asked. He was leaning over me with a smug smile on his face.

"That was definitely worth waiting for," I laughed breathlessly wrapping my arms around his neck. I pulled Riley down for a kiss, hooking one leg around his hip to pull him in close to me. I could feel him grinning against my lips as we kissed. His tongue danced with mine as his hips rocked into me, pushing his erection against me. His pants were still on and the rubbing of the fabric on my still sensitive skin was enough to give me goosebumps.

Riley reached over while he was kissing me, fumbling with the top drawer on his bedside table. He suddenly stilled after a few seconds and pulled away from me. I looked over to what he was doing to see him shifting through the drawer with a furrowed brow.

"I'm going to kill Sam," Riley groaned dropping his head against my shoulder when his fumbling produced an empty condom box. "Slowly and painfully. Fucking asshole."

"What has Sam got to do with this?" I laughed quietly. I wasn't too perturbed about the lack of a condom. I had an IUD so that solved most of the problem.

"We had a party here one night and he wanted to fuck his girlfriend at the time," Riley muttered sullenly, still buried in the crook of my neck. "I was drunk enough to tell him it was fine to do it in my bed. He must have used the last of my condoms. I told you it's been a long time. I didn't think to check."

"He's an asshole," I said, pressing a kiss against Riley's temple. It was the only part of him visible that I could kiss. At least I could solve this problem easily. "I've got an IUD and I'm clean if that helps your dilemma."

That made Riley pull his head up and look at me carefully.

"Are you sure?" Riley asked hesitantly. "I mean, I'm clean too but I don't want you to do anything if you aren't comfortable."

"I'm more than comfortable with letting you fuck me right now." To emphasise my point, my hands went to his pants and I popped open the button. "In fact, I insist. I wouldn't be able to wait ten minutes."

"Trust me it wouldn't have taken me ten minutes to get to the store and back." A slow grin spread across Riley's face." And since you insist I can't deny you, can I?."

Riley quickly stood up and yanked his pants off, leaving me with an impressive view of his naked body. Noticing my stare he cocked an eyebrow at me.

"Enjoying the view?" Riley threw my own line back at me. He flexed his muscles, making his six pack stand out even more. I giggled at his antics. If he didn't have me so wound up, I could happily enjoy that view all day.

"Get down here and fuck me before I combust," I ordered. I was done with waiting. I'd been wanting this for far too long. I wrapped my legs around him and pulled him back down to me.

"Yes, Ma'am." This time, there was no hesitation at all from Riley.

He leant forward and kissed me again. He pushed into me, slowly sending sparks through my body again. He was definitely gifted in that department. My arms had made their way around him without me really noticing. I dug my fingers into Riley's back as he started to thrust into me. Slowly at first and then building into longer and harder strokes. I could feel another orgasm building. Every thrust was hitting me in the right spots. Riley broke our kissing first. His head buried in the crook of my neck again. He stilled suddenly, breathing heavily against my skin. For a second I thought he'd come already, but his body wasn't doing anything. He was just still against me.

"What's up?" I managed to gasp out. I didn't even realise I'd been breathing so heavily.

"I'm using every ounce of my self control not to blow right now," Riley's voice was muffled against my skin. "I am not going to embarrass myself by blowing in 30 seconds."

The last part was said almost sounding like Riley was giving himself a pep talk. I giggled and tightened my legs around him, pushing my hips up to close the small gap between us. Riley gasped against my skin and I could hear him tighten his grip on the pillow above my head.

"How quickly will you be ready for round two?" I asked. I gently bit down on his neck, sucking on his skin. It was hard enough it'd leave a hickey later on. I had to give it to Riley, his self control didn't make him flinch at the feel of my teeth on his skin. I didn't miss the sharp breath he sucked in though.

"I get round two?" That was enough for Riley to pull his head up and look down at me. A small smile was spreading across his face again. It made me giggle again at the boyish enthusiasm that seemed to come out that he got round two.

"You get round four and five if you really want." I started to move my hips trying to get him move again. "Please, don't stop."

"Then I'll be good in another minute," Riley leant forward to kiss me again. He rocked his hips forward lazily, grinding against me briefly. I was about to protest, but it died on my lips as he started to move again. The long and slow strokes were teasing my orgasm right up again. Riley's lips latched onto my neck as he paid me back for the hickey I'd already given him. The sharp feel of teeth on my neck and Riley's thrust speeding up nearly sent me over the edge again. I was so close. I wrapped my legs around Riley's waist, shifting so he could angle in deeper.

With a groan Riley buried himself right into me with one hard thrust, his hips jerking erratically as he couldn't hold back any longer. I held onto him tightly while he rode it out. He half collapsed on me, head buried back into the crook of my neck breathing heavily. It took a good minute before he was capable of speaking again.

"I'm sorry." Riley apologised but didn't pull his head up. "You just felt so amazing and tight. I couldn't hold back any longer."

"Don't be sorry." I ran my nails gently down his back. I could feel goosebumps rise in the trail of his skin. "Just give me round two like you promised."

"Gladly." Riley nuzzled my neck before kissing where he'd left the earlier bite mark. The feel of his lips against my skin was enough to make my body react. Riley shifted his weight and rested on his arms, looking down at me. He bent down to kiss me but I had other ideas. With a shove of his shoulder, I twisted my hips so we rolled over together. The look of surprise on Riley's face made me giggle. I was surprised too, I wasn't sure I had to strength to actually do that. The other surprise was Riley was almost hard again too. I managed to get on top without him coming out.

"So." I began to slide up and down on Riley's already mostly erect cock again. "Remember our little game of twenty questions?"

"Yep," Riley's hands came to my hips as he gripped them hard. His firm grip would probably leave bruises later on.

"Remember my favourite position?" I teased him by taking my time. I was moving until he was nearly out of me before lowering myself back down slowly. Riley's hands twitched as if he was stopping himself from slamming into me.

"You on top, how could I forget?" Riley looked like he was having a hard time concentrating on speaking. He already looked thoroughly fucked and I'm sure I looked the same. We were both shining with sweat. Riley's hair was plastered to his face and sticking out at odd angles. It only made him look hotter.

"Because I like to be in charge," I grinned down at him. He was fully in me again as I rolled my hips around on him. I bit my lip as it sent sparks flying through my body again. I wouldn't be long this time either.

"Then be in charge and stop teasing," Riley managed to gasp out.

I didn't need any further encouragement. I picked up a fast pace and all I could think about was how amazing he felt underneath me. One of Riley's hands went from my hips to my clit. His thumb grazed over it, making me buck at his touch. His thumb worked circles around it, distracting me from riding Riley. So much for me being in charge. He was playing me to perfection.

"Cum for me." Riley sounded completely breathless. "I want to feel you come undone around my cock."

He'd barely gotten the sentence out before I did exactly what he said. It was just as intense as the first orgasm he gave me earlier. I'd barely come down from my high as Riley sat up, grabbing my legs to wrap around him. His hands guided my hips as he rocked against me. My body was still in the after throws of my orgasm making everything ten times more sensitive. The feeling of his body against me was enough to give me another small orgasm. I don't even know what sounds my body was making. I just couldn't control myself. I was still shaking from it as Riley gave one final thrust and held onto me tightly as he came again.

It took a long time for me to be able to focus. I sat in Riley's lap still gasping for breath and shaking from the intensity of it all. Riley wasn't much better, he was breathing just as heavily as I was. His grip was strong and the only thing keeping me upright in his lap. I was suddenly very exhausted.

"Enjoy?" Riley broke the silence first. He kissed me gently before resting his forehead against mine.

"That was the best sex of my life," I admitted with a tired laugh. "Wow."

"I aim to please," Riley laughed quietly with me. "Several times actually."

"That you did." I couldn't stop the jaw cracking yawn from escaping my mouth. "And now you've made me sleepy."

I eased myself from Riley's lap. It took every ounce of energy I had left to lay down on the bed. I lay on my side and Riley settled in next to me, wrapping his arms around me pulling me in close. He was on his back so I ended up lying on his chest. I could hear his heart still racing in his chest.

"You're the best thing that has ever happened to me," Riley said quietly.

"Likewise." I managed a tired smile. "Wanna join me in the shower after a sleep?"

"Silly question, of course, I do." Riley reached down and gave me a quick kiss. "Go to sleep."

I didn't need to be told twice.

I stretched lazily not wanting to disturb my nap just yet. My body was sore, a very good sore that I hadn't felt, well, ever. I reached over to Riley's side of the bed and my hands met empty space. That made me open my eyes and look over. I hadn't heard him get up. I rubbed my eyes and looked over at the clock. I'd only been asleep for an hour.

The apartment was quiet. No shower running, no TV on or anything to give away where Riley was. I got up, grabbing a towel to wrap around me. I padded out of the bedroom looking around for him. Standing in the kitchen in just a pair of boxers, phone tucked between his ear and shoulder Riley was standing in front of the stove. The smell of pancakes wafted through the house and my stomach growled in appreciation. I'd never seen Riley cook anything. We lived off takeaway or went out for dinner most nights.

"Uh huh," Riley said into the phone. It sounded like he was only half paying attention to the conversation.

I snuck up behind him, wrapping my arms around his bare chest. I snuck a brief kiss on the side of his neck that wasn't cradling the phone. He jumped in surprise but squeezed my arms with his in response. A stack of pancakes was already on the counter. Riley was poking the latest one with a spatula, waiting to flip it.

"Mom." Riley's tone changed suddenly. "That's not funny. You said it was Thanksgiving with just us this year. I wouldn't have invited Kari if I knew everyone was going to be there."

I smothered my laugh against Riley's back. This conversation sounded like something I'd be having with my own Mom. Which was also a reminder I should really ring her sometime soon. I'd gotten three emails from her while I was away trying to get in touch. It seemed even my own mother was dying of curiosity about me actually having a boyfriend. I wasn't purposely ignoring her. Life was just so busy at the moment.

"If I come back alone then I blame you," Riley snorted. There was a brief pause while Riley's mom said something in repose. "Why? Because Dad's side of the family are way too nosy and I'd be right behind her if she decided to run off screaming."

This time I couldn't stop a giggle escaping. It seems we'd have to have a talk. Riley's family wasn't going to have anything on the craziness at my Grandparents ranch during the holidays. At least he didn't have an entire family who were all Enhanced. I wasn't going to be scared off by the normal family shenanigans. Though I couldn't say the same for Riley when it came to him actually meeting my side of the family.

"Anyway, I'm cooking breakfast." Riley paused as the voice on the other end interrupted him. He flipped the pancake while he was listening. "Just because it's two in the afternoon doesn't mean it's not breakfast time."

Or anytime really. I wasn't below eating breakfast cereal or any type of breakfast food throughout the entire day. I'd happily live off bacon and eggs for the rest of my life if I ever had to. At least I could manage cooking scrambled eggs without burning down the kitchen.

"I have the next few days off." Riley straightened up and switched to holding the phone in his hand. "So I'll try and Skype sometime. And yes Mom I will ask Kari if she wants to join in. Be nice."

I wouldn't mind joining in Riley's conversations with his Mom and Sister. I don't think he'd be too keen on doing the same with my parents. I hated when the iPhone came out with FaceTime. Mom had been obsessed with it for ages and I avoided those conversations like the plague.

"Bye." Riley hung up and threw his phone down on the counter. He flipped the pancake onto the plate before turning around to face me. "Good afternoon sleepy head."

He was grinning as he said it. I wrapped my arms around his neck and just pulled him in for a kiss instead of replying to his teasing. It was his fault I was a sleepyhead anyway. It'd been worth the wait to have sex. As we kissed my towel started to slip off and I pulled back to adjust it.

"Those pancakes smell amazing." I had to distract myself otherwise I'd want Riley to fuck me right here on the counter. Despite our previous round of sex being more than satisfying, my body started to respond again.

"I know." Riley was still grinning. I wasn't the only one responding again. Riley was half hard already. "I had such an epic craving for pancakes. It's about the only thing I had in the cupboard. Are you staying for a few days?"

I hesitated. I really wanted to say yes but I didn't want this to start becoming a habit. I'd only been back to my place to pick up clothes over the last few weeks. Jared was still away so it seemed pointless to be staying in an empty apartment. I also didn't want to make myself a nuisance and look like I was being clingy by staying with Riley all the time.

"Only if you aren't going to get sick of me," I said testing to see his reaction.

"Nope, which means we need to go food shopping because the state of my cupboards is making this place really look like a typical bachelor pad," Riley looked very happy at my answer. Seeing the pantry open and nearly void of all food made me agree with him silently. "I need to stop being lazy and living off takeaway or eating out every night. I can kind of cook."

"I'm more than happy to do food shopping." I was very relieved about his casual acceptance of me staying here. "It's about the only thing I can contribute with food since I can't cook."

"You don't need to contribute," Riley said quickly. He reached over to turn the stove off and turned his full attention to me. "I want you here because I like having you around, Kari. Trust me that I'm fully house trained, you don't need to do anything except be here."

His confession made me melt a little on the inside. Riley was making it very easy for me to fall for him, despite my reservations about everything. How could he be so damn perfect?

"Besides, I have to next few days off," Riley continued with a heart melting grin. "I was hoping we could spend that time fucking on every available surface in my apartment."

"I'm back at work tomorrow," I said with a pang of sadness. I was hoping to have a little bit of time to myself before being back at work. "But I do have the weekend off."

"Then don't make plans for the weekend. Riley grabbed me and lifted me onto the counter. The sudden movement made me giggle, slightly hysterically. Riley could pick me up so easily. "Because I want you all to myself."

Riley gave the towel a small tug and it fell away from my body. There were no protests from me about his plans. Especially as he leant forward and kissed me again.

* * *

 

I yawned while stretching out in the pilot seat of the Quinjet the next morning. It was early, 0515 and still dark outside in the autumn morning. Somehow I'd landed a supply drop to a SHIELD base in Alaska. My Quinjet was already loaded and all I was waiting for was Clint to join me. Coulson had emailed me last night saying he'd bring him down here himself.

I hadn't gotten much sleep last night. The memory of what we ended up doing made me grin like an idiot. Riley seemed to be wanting to make up for lost time and I was more than happy to indulge in several rounds. We'd had sex on the counter before digging into the pancakes he made. Afterwards, we hadn't even made it back to the bedroom and fucked on the couch instead. I was sore from the waist down and I had to wear my collar pulled up to hide the massive hickey on my neck. This morning I'd gotten up and thought he was still fast asleep. I'd just stepped into the shower when he surprised me. By the time we were done, I was nearly running late and had to speed to make sure I actually made it work on time.

"Coulson, I know I'm a pain in the ass but do you really have to lump me with supervising a supply shipment?" Clint's voice came to me first. He sounded mildly pissed off and I could hear him stomping louder than normal. I swung around so I was facing the ramp.

"I had a problem with a few things and this wraps it up nicely." Coulson could barely keep the amusement out of his voice. "Besides, this is something nice and easy. You may even enjoy it."

Clint muttered something under his breath as he stomped up the ramp. He did a double take when he saw me sitting in the pilot seat. I smiled at him innocently. Clint looked suspicious as he swivelled between looking at me and Coulson.

"You wanted flying lessons." Coulson was a step behind Clint. "Kari wanted some support for a bit longer. So this is two problems solved. Behave, otherwise, I give Kari full permission to throw you off if you give her any shit."

"Did you know about this?" Clint looked positively giddy as he grinned at me. I feel like I had given him the best present in his life.

"I was sworn to secrecy." The excitement was contagious I was so damn pleased with myself that I hadn't blurted the secret out. "Thanks for coming to hold my hand."

"Sneaky, both of you," Clint laughed. I had a feeling nothing would be able to wipe the smile off his face for a month. "This is awesome. Thank you so much, both of you."

"Come and see me when you both get back." In a fatherly gesture, Coulson put his arms around Clint's shoulders and gave him a squeeze. "Enjoy."

With a small wave, Coulson left us on our own. Clint came and sat next to me as I powered the Quinjet up. I hadn't realised how badly Clint had actually wanted this. I'd noticed he always watching me very carefully while we flew but never gave it much thought. Now wasn't much different. Clint was paying very careful attention to what I was doing. I had no doubt he'd already memorised everything in the right order as I powered up.

"So how much do you actually know?" I asked. I'd never taught anyone before. If the Quinjet's weren't so idiot proof and it was someone besides Clint, I might have been nervous. However, I didn't doubt Clint would be an exceptional pilot one day. If this was something he'd wanted badly, he'd be a model student. Well, as model as he could get anyway.

"Enough to know the plane goes faster when you pull back on the stick," Clint said smartly. "Which you seem to do a lot."

I rolled my eyes at his attitude but Clint kept speaking before I could interrupt him.

"Honestly, I've just been watching and I could copy what you're doing but not actually sure what everything does or the exact mechanics behind it all." Clint finished with a wry grin. "So what's the plan boss?"

"Shouldn't you be calling me Ma'am?" I teased as I started to taxi out from the parking spot. "I'll give you the controls in the air to give you a feel for the basics. We can do some harder stuff like take off and landings once you have a bit more confidence."

"Yes, Ma'am." Clint gave me a mock salute. "You're the boss for today."

"That's a nice change." The ridiculous salute made me laugh. "This is my rare chance to actually show you something instead of the other way around."

"I'm not going to be a shit about it, I promise." Clint even crossed his heart, making me laugh again. "I've been wanting proper flying lessons for a very long time. Besides, you've been a champion about everything Nat and I throw at you so I can behave myself enough for you to teach me."

"That's reassuring." I was sitting on the edge of the platform waiting for traffic control to clear our takeoff. I tapped my fingers impatiently on the control stick. My phone chimed in my pocket as a text came through. Air traffic was quiet to me so I pulled it out. It was from Natasha.

_So do I win?_

"Apparently you owe Natasha money again," I laughed at the message before sending her a reply.

_Yep, you owe me dinner!_

"Finally give in did you?" Clint laughed with me. He didn't look at all surprised. The enormous hickey on my neck might have given it away. "I expected that I'd be poorer after you two were sleeping on the couch together."

"We didn't do anything there." I tried to lie, covering it up with a scoff of displeasure. I was a terrible liar and I didn't doubt Clint would see straight through it. "I wasn't that desperate."

"You sure about that?" Clint raised an eyebrow at me. "I walked out to take a piss at some early hour in the morning and you two were looking very cosy on the couch kissing. I'm pretty sure Riley had his hand down your pants too."

"Yep, I'm sure about that." I could feel a blush crawling over my cheeks. It was a dead giveaway that I'd been busted. Clint had a small smirk on his face as he watched me.

"When I was 19, I was dating another SHIELD agent," Clint started, surprising me. I was expecting him to tease me mercilessly for being caught out. "Bobbi Morse is her name, you'll probably meet her eventually. She's a Specialist and she's done some undercover work with Jared and Nat. Anyway, half the fun was having sex everywhere we could at work and not get caught. Believe me when I tell you we've all done it. Ask Coulson about his lady friend Camilla and the compromising position I found them in."

"No, ew gross." I couldn't help but laugh. "That's like thinking of my parents having sex."

"Thankfully, for me, it's more like walking in on my older brother having sex," Clint laughed with me. "Which is still mildly horrifying. It gives me something to tease Coulson about for the next fifty years though. So stop being embarrassed about what you were or weren't doing on the couch. Most of us have been there and done that before. Next time try and find somewhere more daring to do it and see if you get caught."

"You are such a bad influence on me," I shook my head as I kept laughing. Our conversation was cut off by air traffic finally clearing my take off.

"So, are you serious I can take the controls once we get into the air?" Clint asked as I manoeuvred the Quinjet into position.

"Sure." I hit the thrusters and we lifted into the air steadily. "The coordinates are in so it's basically a matter of sticking to the flight path. Do you want me to explain everything properly or do you want the dumbed down version?"

"No, explain everything," Clint sounded extremely eager. "I might not understand it but I'll give it my best shot."

"Good thing you like maths and physics like me." I glanced at the altimeter to make sure we were at the correct height before easing the Quinjet into the flight path. "So, the basics of flight are four forces. There's lift, weight, thrust and drag. Thrust is exactly what it sounds like, the force generated to overcome drag. Lift acts as perpendicular to the vector representing your velocity in relation to the atmosphere. Drag, again it just what it sounds like. The force that acts in opposition to your thrust. Weight is your centre of gravity."

I snuck a quick look at Clint to make sure I wasn't boring him with my explanation. I knew the feeling of something being so boring but you have to know it that your eyes just glaze over and you only half listen. But he was sitting facing me listening with rapt attention. I half expected him to take out a notepad and start making notes.

"In straight and level flight your lift is equal and opposite to weight. In straight and climbing flight, like taking off in this, your lift is less than weight."

"That doesn't make sense?" Clint frowned at me. "If you're climbing shouldn't your lift be exceeding your weight?"

"I'll get to that in a minute." I shushed him. He quickly shut his mouth, any argument dying on his lips. "It's your thrust that enables the energy to climb. Lift acts perpendicular to the vector that represents velocity relative to the atmosphere, so your lift is unable to alter the energy needed to climb."

"That hurts my brain but makes sense," Clint said with a brief chuckle. He rubbed his forehead as if all the information was hurting his head. "I'm guessing in descending your lift is less than weight?"

"You got it." I smiled at him. He really did look wrapped up in all the information I was throwing at him. "Let's switch seats and I'll run through the controls with you."

Clint bounced out of his seat and gleefully took over the pilot seat. His hand wrapped around the control stick and for the first time I'd know him, a flicker of nerves crossed over his face.

"It's easy," I reassured him taking the co-pilot seat. "Just remember three things. Yaw which moves your nose left and right. Pitch moves the nose up and down. Roll, well that's self explanatory. If anything goes wrong, I'll switch the controls over to me right away. Sound good?"

"Sounds good I feel like I'm learning to drive again," Clint said, glancing down at his feet. "I have pedals and everything."

"I have this funny feeling you were the worlds biggest pain in the ass to teach to drive," I joked with him. I was awarded a beaming and very charming smile that confirmed my suspicion "All right. Your pedals control the yaw, so it moves the rudder left and right. You push right, it goes right. The control stick controls everything else. You pull back to increase your thrust. Move it left and right to control your pitch. Right now all you need to do is keep it in a straight line. Don't jerk or yank on it. One of my flight instructors told me to think of it as your cock while jerking off. Be firm but gentle. I don't think he ever realised I was a girl until right at the end."

Clint chuckled but didn't say anything else. He was handling the controls carefully. The Quinjet dipped slightly but before I could correct him, Clint pulled back on the stick very gently to ease it back up. His triumphant smile made me laugh.

It was no surprise that Clint picked it all up very easily. He handled the Quinjet well and flew the entire way to the base for the supply drop. I only took the controls off him to land and even then he was very reluctant to hand them over. I had no doubt he'd pick up the finer points of flying very quickly. It'd be fun to teach someone else combat manurers. I'm sure Clint would appreciate the skill it takes to pull off some of the more complicated aerial moves. The cargo was unloaded and we were back in the air in half an hour. It was enough of a break to grab a coffee and go to the toilet, but not an agonisingly long wait. Clint nearly pushed me out of the pilot seat as soon as we hit altitude so he could fly again.

"Thank you again for this," Clint said in a lull in our light conversation. He looked over at me with a beaming smile. "You have no idea how much this means to me being able to learn to fly."

"Thank you for teaching and putting up with me over the last few weeks." I countered with a smile. "I'm happy I could repay some of that in a small way by doing this."

Both of our phones vibrated at the same time. I hadn't gotten a reply from Natasha yet so I was expecting it to be her making plans for dinner tonight. I was very wrong. It was Coulson.

_Mission brief as soon as you both get back. Brush up on your German._

"Well." I felt a flicker of excitement start to grow. "How's your German, Hawk?"

"Rusty and generally terrible." Clint looked over at me. He'd been concentrating on his flying instead of picking up his phone. "Do we have a mission?"

"Yes, we do." Today was shaping up to be a good day. "Lucky for you, my German is impeccable."

"I guess you'll be joining us for the ride then," Clint grinned at me. "Can we get back a little bit faster?"

"Off you go."

Clint didn't need to be told twice. The gleeful grin on his face as the Quinjet's speed climbed was contagious.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 6th June


	18. Chapter 18

“I need details,” Natasha put her feet up on the control panel of the Quinjet. “I’m living vicariously through you at the moment.”

“Get your feet off the weapons controls,” I tried to sound annoyed at Natasha but it didn’t work. She just smirked at me and put her feet up higher looking at me with a raised eyebrow in challenge.

“The quiet guys are usually the best in bed,” Natasha continued. “So give me details.”

Clint sighed in aggravation shooting Natasha a pained look. He was concentrating on flying. I was sitting on the floor between the 2 chairs. It was a tight squeeze but I wanted to keep an eye on Clint’s flying. Not that he was really needing it. Besides a few very minor corrections he was doing a brilliant job.

Our mission was in Germany. We’d be escorting a scientist out of Erfurt back to the US. Sabine Baecker was one of the worlds leading authorities on alternative energy. She’d been working for SHIELD for years as a consultant and there had been a few interested parties try and recruit her. Last night she’d nearly been abducted while walking to her car at work. She was currently bunked down in a safe house and it was our job to retrieve her. 

To keep it quiet and discreet we’d land the Quinjet about an hour away. SHIELD had a small runway there under their payroll and control. A car would be there and then we’d pick up Doctor Baecker and head back to the Quinjet. It was very straight forward and would wrap up within a day. I’d originally only been flying but with some convincing I’d been allowed to tag along for the escort as well. Speaking fluent German helped my case a lot. Coulson had pulled Clint aside before we left and I had no doubts he was given some very strict instructions about keeping me out of trouble. 

“Come on Kari,” Natasha whined with a serious pout on her face. “It’s a long flight and I was on a solo mission for a week. I need human interaction and you and Barton are about the only humans I like enough to interact with.”

“You’re so bossy,” I craned my head back to pull a face at Natasha. “Fine, he was amazing. Are you happy?”

“What part of him was amazing?” Natasha pushed for more information. She was looking down at me expectedly. “Like I said, I need details.”

“What if I don’t want to hear these details?” Clint protested looking over to Natasha.

“Then take your hearing aids out,” Natasha said smoothly.

“It doesn’t help that I can still lip read and know exactly what you’re saying,” Clint shot back.

“Stop complaining,” Natasha kicked his chair. I quickly jerked back so I didn’t cop a leg in my face.

Natasha and Clint fought just like Jared and I did. It amused me to no end to listen to their bickering at each other. I had a feeling Clint was only doing this to annoy the shit out of Natasha. He’d already pestered me about it during our flight back from the supply drop. I’d sent Riley a text telling him I wouldn’t be home until later because we had a mission. I’d been a little hesitant about his reaction to it actually happening. But all I got back was him telling me to be careful and straight after that was that he’d miss me until I got home. The grin on my face only gave Clint something to tease me about more.

“Yeah stop complaining,” I ganged up on Clint in retribution for his teasing. “I’m letting you fly so you just cop whatever we decide to dish out.”

Clint just shot me a weary look. Before I could be smart to him again he flicked the autopilot on and reached up, pulling his hearing aids out.

“Go sit in the back,” Clint’s voice was a little louder than normal.

I couldn’t help but stare at the 2 tiny devices in his hand. I’d never seen them before. It was very easy to forget that Clint was deaf. His hearing aids sat right in his ear so they weren’t visible even if you looked really hard.

“Fine,” Natasha didn’t need to be told twice. I didn’t miss the slight twist of her face so she made sure Clint could see her clearly while she spoke. As Natasha stood up, she grabbed my arm as well. I was right behind her in getting up. I couldn’t resist taking another quick look at the hearing aids as Clint put them in the cup holder.

“This means he trusts you,” Natasha said as she followed my gaze. “A lot. I can count on one hand the amount of people he takes his hearing aids out around.”

“I think he just likes me because I’m teaching him to fly,” I joked to cover my small embarrassment. Natasha sat down in one of the chairs in the back and I sat on the floor, stretching my legs out in front of me. We were still another few hours out and Clint wasn’t handing the controls over anytime soon. I was feeling bored and slightly wound up in anticipation of the mission.

“That too,” Natasha gave me a small smile. “So give me details.”

I laughed quietly at my friend. When Clint and I had gotten back from the supply drop she’d been waiting for us with coffee and McDonalds. I confessed my undying love for her as she brought me a triple cheeseburger with bacon. It’d been easy to get caught up in teaching Clint to fly I hadn’t realised I was starving until I smelt that cheeseburger. It was gone in about 3 bites.

“He really was amazing,” I couldn’t stop the stupid grin on my face. “He’s just perfect, I found out he can even cook. I’m sold. I think I’ll keep him.”

“Amazing doesn’t tell me details,” Natasha pushed with a sly smile. “Though that grin says a lot.”

I’d never had this. If someone had told me a few months ago I’d be sitting in the back of a Quinjet girl talking with the Black Widow herself, I’d check them into the nearest psychiatric hospital. This was one of those times I was having a hard time believing this was actually my life now. 

“You remember that night you picked Jared up from the keg party?” Natasha continued without waiting for an answer from me. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever be allowed to forget that night,” I said dryly.

“You did pretend to be a stripper and walk out after being paid,” Natasha looked very proud of me. “We were going to set you up that night and I suggested Riley. Jared said you’d eat him alive. But I knew better. Call it women's intuition. So I’m not going to ask again for details, I’m just going to beat it out of you.”

I knew that wasn't an idle threat.

“You were right, the quiet ones are always the best,” the grin on my face pulled wider. “He is a god with his tongue. Really generous too, got me off a few times before he even fucked me. And huge.”

Natasha laughed at my last statement. 

“Do you feel like you should be walking with a limp?

“Not quite, but sitting does remind me of him,” I laughed with her. “I’m kind of hoping this mission really does wrap up quickly because he promised to fuck me on every available surface in his apartment this weekend.”

“Lucky you. It is only a simple level 3 escort,” Natasha looked a little envious. “We should be home by tomorrow. Can I persuade you to be dragged away from your sex god for dinner on Saturday night?”

“Sure, dinner on you?” I said smartly. “And is my sex god invited if I’m dragging myself away from him.”

“Of course,” Natasha gave me an unbelieving look. “We better invite Barton as well.”

“Right now?” I looked over to the pilot seat. Clint caught my gaze in the reflection of the windscreen and raised an eyebrow in question. Natasha’s fingers flew in a few quick and sharp motions. I watched her carefully in how quickly she could sign. It was yet another thing I needed to learn and hadn’t touched on yet. 

“Can we make it kid friendly?” Clint asked. “Lila said she’d die if she doesn’t get to see Kari sometime soon.”

That made me smile. Clint’s youngest had really grown on me. I’d have to warn Riley in advance. But then again I was working with 2 spies. I had no doubt Riley had already been given the talk about keeping Clint’s family very quiet and away from work. 

“HeeBeen it is then,” Natasha spoke while she signed to Clint. He nodded his approval before turning his attention back to flying. 

“What’s HeeBeen?”

“It’s an all you can eat place that has sushi, sashimi and the best Korean BBQ you will ever eat in your life,” Natasha explained. “It’s amazing.”

“I’m so in love with you,” I grinned again. “That does sound amazing. Lets hope everything goes to plan for the mission.”

“We’ll be in and out in about 3 hours, piece of cake,” Natasha shrugged almost looking bored at the prospect of this mission. I had to remind myself this was a very standard day for her and Clint. It was well below their skill level. The only reason we’d been given it was to keep things easy for my sake. 

“Are you two done?” Clint called back looking over his shoulder. “The silence is driving me crazy. Come sit back up here.”

I shot up and beat Natasha to the co-pilot seat. She was short, she could deal with being squished on the floor between the seats this time. It was barely enough room for my legs to stretch out. Completely unperturbed by me beating her, Natasha just plonked herself down on my lap. I protested but all I got from her was a smug smile and shrug. I looked to Clint for help and all I got was a shrug from him as well.

“I told you when you first met her she only likes touching people if you’re her favourite lounge chair, guess what?” Clint said smartly. “You’re now her favourite lounge chair.”

Well, there are worst things in life that could happen.

We landed in a small city named Gehlberg. There wasn’t much there besides the tiny airport and a few local shops. It was just getting on dark as I landed the Quinjet. A parked car was waiting for us already but the airport was deserted. There hadn’t been any communication from air control to even land us. It a little bit eerie with how quiet everything really was. But Natasha and Clint didn’t look worried at all. We were armed and taking off down the single lane road within 5 minutes of landing. I hadn’t been allowed to pack the AWSM sniper rifle I’d become fond of. But to mollify me slightly Clint had packed the bow I’d been using in training for my use, along with the pair of P30 sidearms. Natasha and Clint were both armed with their usual choices. Clint was driving with Natasha sitting in the front. I sat in the backseat enjoying the glimpses of the country side that could been seen in the fast falling darkness. I was well travelled thanks to my parents. But just hopping in a Quinjet and jetting off to the other side of the world was taking a bit of getting used to. Not having to worry about a passport, go through customs like a normal person. No change of airports and long flights. We’d make it to Germany in a little under 5 hours. 

“So this is going to be simple,” Clint’s voice dragged me from my scenery watching. “Pick up Dr Baecker and drive back. Fly home and all wrapped up nicely. Her english isn’t the greatest which is why Coulson is letting you tag along. So translate and sit in the back like a good kid and no complaining.”

“Yes Dad,” I rolled my eyes at Clint. “Why can neither of you speak German?”

“It’s hard,” Natasha supplied with a half hearted shrug. “And my brain doesn't need to cram any more languages in it.”

“I can speak enough to order a stein of beer,” Clint shot me an amused look over his shoulder. “Other than that, can’t be bothered to be honest.”

I couldn’t even remembered why I thought taking German in high school, along with my French classes, was a good idea. It wasn’t the easiest language to learn and already knowing Russian and Icelandic made it confusing enough most days. It was just another thing I wanted to cram into my already over achieving brain. 

“If we run into trouble, which we won’t,” Clint dropped the joking tone and was back to business. “Stay down and do as your told. No arguments.”

I nodded. This was so ridiculously straight forward I wasn’t even feeling nervous about it. Unlike the last mission we did where I’d been a bundle of nerves, I wasn’t even feeling a twinge of them this time. It was exciting being let out in the field again. I was feeling more prepared for it this time than before. But like Clint said it was going to be simple. 

The hour drive stretched out in front of us in easy conversation. Natasha was disappointed we wouldn’t be able to linger in Germany because she hadn’t been here for ages. She and Clint spoke of the amazing pub they’d stumbled across last time in Hanover. My stomach was growling by the time Natasha had given a description of the food they served there. The cheeseburger really had done nothing to fill a hole in my very empty stomach. All the talk of schnitzels was making me really hungry. 

It was completely dark by the time we’d reached the safe house. It had the porch light on but no other signs of activity. It was on the outskirts of the town. In a small suburban area which made it look completely inconspicuous. Just another 2 story house in a long street with plenty of other houses just like it. Cars were parked in driveways. A few kids toys were scattered on different lawns. The house to the left of the safe house had a bicycle sitting on the front lawn. The soft sounds of normal every day households drifted in and out of hearing. 

And here we were doing a pick up of a scientist who worked for a covert government agency that not many people even knew about. If you said to the average person on the street you worked for the Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division you’d be met with a blank look. Here in this suburban street would be no different. 

Clint tapped his fingers on the steering wheel but didn’t turn the car off. There would be a 45 second wait until Dr Baeker was escorted out to the car. The agents in the house would scan the street for any sign of hostile activity before making the short trip to the car. 

“13,” came out in Russian, no more than a whispered breath from Natasha. 

I hadn't even been counting down. I was too busy looking around the neighbourhood to actually be paying attention. Some great super spy in training I was. 

“Here we go,” Clint let out a small breath as the front door opened. A small woman walked out, flanked by 2 men in civilian clothing. To a casual observer it would just look like 2 people helping someone else to the car. But the 2 agents were rigid. Their eyes scanning the street in the darkness. For the first time in this mission I felt my nerves kick into gear. My mouth went dry and my palms started to sweat as Dr Baecker walked down the 2 steps off the porch. It only took 3 steps for her to reach the car and open the backseat door. But those 3 steps felt as if everything had gone into slow motion.

The slip of a woman settled herself in the car next to me. I quickly launched into the small part I’d have to play for tonight. My German was rusty and slower than I would have liked, but I was confident I wouldn’t screw it up. Coulson had given me a basic version of what to say to her before we left.

“Doctor Baecker I’m Agent Lyngley, this is Agent Romanoff and Agent Barton,” I nodded my head introducing my team mates. “Thank you for your patience and understanding in this matter. We will be driving directly towards the airfield and leaving as soon as we arrive. Again SHIELD apologises for all inconvenience caused by this situation.”

“It’s quite alright Agent Lyngley,” Dr Baecker gave me a tolerant smile. Her German was almost too fast for me the understand. “I thank SHIELD for jumping on the matter so quickly. Life sometimes gives us a push in the direction we weren’t sure of.”

She carefully adjusted her dark hair which was pulled back in a tight bun. I had to hand it to her, she didn’t look nervous. Not even the tiniest bit frazzled. Her comment about life giving you a push didn’t go unnoticed by me. I was about to ask her what she meant when the thump of the boot closing made me jump slightly.

“And we’re off,” Clint said quietly as he shifted the car into reverse. 

“Your German is excellent Agent Lyngley,” Dr Baecker shifted her gaze to the back of Clint’s head. “Slow, but perfect accent and pronunciation. Where did you learn it?”

“High school,” I explained. “I’m rusty but thank you.” 

“How far do we have until we reach the airfield?” Dr Baecker asked still staring straight ahead.

“An hour drive,” I said. “And a 5 hour flight back to DC. You’ll have an Agent meeting you in DC to help you get settled.”

That’s all I knew of her situation. I couldn’t stop the tug of sympathy in my chest as I saw her calm facade crack for the briefest moment. I knew all too well what it was like being thrust into a situation that you didn’t want. To have your entire life pulled our for underneath you. 

“DC is quite lovely at this time of year,” I fumbled to fill in the silence. “I haven’t lived there long, but the food scene is amazing.”

I ignored the growl of protest coming from my stomach at the mention of food again.

“Of course you have all the tourist things there like the White House, Smithsonian and all the memorials,” I continued. “There’s plenty of museums, art galleries and shopping malls.”

Natasha looked back at me with a questioning look. Beyond my little speech Clint had made me memorise on the way here I wasn’t supposed to say or do much else. 

“My English is sufficient to not be rude and keep speaking in German, which your companions obviously don’t speak,” Dr Baecker switched to heavily accented English. “I do appreciate the effort though Agent Lyngley.”

Dammit. We’d been told her English wasn’t that great. It’d been about the only reason I was actually allowed in the car. 

“Yes but I needed to brush up on my German,” I lied, hoping my smile was genuine. “I don’t get to practice it much.”

Dr Baecker just gave me a tolerant smile and the car lapsed into silence. I looked out the window but there was nothing to see in the black of the night. The route we were taking took us past mostly farm land and lightly wooded areas. No streetlights lit the way to give any hints of the scenery. There wasn’t even enough moonlight to give off any light. It was just a long stretch of black road. 

I lent my head against the window and stared at the back of Natasha head. She’d taken her phone out and was flicking her fingers along the screen idly while reading something. I tried to look over her shoulder but the screen was too far away for me to read what she was looking at. I rested my chin on the chair and gently tugged on one of her red curls to get her attention.

“What are you reading?” I asked. I was bored again already.

Natasha didn’t answer. She just held up her phone closer to her face so I could read as well. It wasn’t anything very exciting. Just a news article on Tony Stark, the weapons developer. It was going on about Stark Industries ready to unveil a new weapon that would be a game changer. It was set to be unveiled in a few months.

“Arrogant dick,” Natasha muttered under her breath as her eyes flicked across the screen. 

My reply was cut off by the unmistakable sound of a .50 calibre weapon being fired. None of us had the chance to react as the car swerved and the flipped. It happened so fast I didn’t even have the breath for a scream to let loose. The sounds were terrible, the shattering glass and groan of metal being warped out of shape. I only dimly heard Dr Baecker screaming beside me. I just squeezed my eyes together tightly and held onto my seatbelt. It was the only thing stopping me being tossed around like a rag doll in the mangled wreck. The car rolled 3 times before settling on the roof. The blood rushed to my head as I hung by my seatbelt. All I could hear was my ears ringing. Nothing else, no matte how hard I shook my head trying to get the horrible sound to go away.

My hands fumbled for the button to release the seatbelt. It let go and I landed on the roof with a very muffled thud. My head ached as I pushed myself up on all fours very shakily. I couldn’t feel anything. My body felt completely numb. I could just make out Dr Baecker hanging by her seatbelt. Her eyes were closed, a line of blood dripping down her face. But the steady rise and fall of her chest told me she was alive. I felt a hand close around my leg and look back to see Natasha. She’d crawled through the shattered window of my seat. Her lips were moving but I still couldn’t make out any sound. The yank she gave on my leg was enough to get the idea. Move and move right now.

What was left of the windscreen shattered as a bullet ripped through it. Instinctively I ducked, covering my head with my hands. 

“Kari MOVE,” It was Clint’s voice that finally broke through the ringing of my ears. I didn’t need to be told twice. I scampered and slid out of the car as quick as I could, right next to Natasha. She didn’t wait for me to get to my feet. She grabbed my hand dragging me to my shaking legs and we both took off running for the line of trees not far from where we’d crashed. My legs collapsed as Natasha pushed both of us behind a tree. The ringing in my ears started to die off to a dull thumping, right in time with my racing heart. Natasha tapped me and then tapped my holster. I nodded and pulled the sidearm out with shaking hands. With my free hand I reached up and wiped my face. My hand came away sticky and I pulled my hand back to stare at it. The dark stain told me I was bleeding but I couldn’t actually feel anything enough to know where it was coming from. 

“Hey,” Natasha’s voice finally broke through the noise in my ears. “Can you hear me yet?”

“I think so,” my voice echoed in my head. I blinked a few times trying to make myself focus.

A noise to our left made me jump. I raised my gun quickly and snapped my head around to face the would be attacker. It was only Clint, with a still unconscious Dr Baecker over his shoulder. He set her against the tree gently.

“Sniper,” Clint said grimly turning to face both of us. “We’ve been compromised.”

There was a loud crack a few feet away as another round slammed into a tree. All 3 of us dropped to the ground. None of us moved a muscle for a good minute afterwards. It was enough time for my hearing to return to normal. The night air was still. No breeze stirred making any movement from us sounding impossibly loud. 

“Location?” Natasha whispered.

“Unknown,” Clint’s voice was tight. “Just…”

He was cut off by another loud crack. I held my breath and started to count, listening for a thump. I’d only gotten to 2 seconds when the unmistakable thump was heard. The way Clint had his head cocked I could tell he was listening for the exact same thing. I held up 2 fingers and he nodded.

It was a counter sniper tactic. The bullet makes a cracking sound as it passes the sound barrier and hits the target. The thump afterwards is actual sound of the weapon being fired. The crack is heard first because the bullet passes at super sonic speed. For every second there was generally abut a 300 yard distance. 

“600 yards,” Clint breathed out quietly. “He’s trying to draw us out.”

All was silent for another minute. On such a dark night in the cover of trees, with us dressed in black tactical gear it would have been hard to make us out. Even with night vision. We were well concealed in this little grove of trees.

“We need to bait him into taking another shot,” Natasha murmured quietly. I nodded my head in agreement and only stopped when I realised she was looking at me. Fuck. 

“Coulson is going to fucking kill us,” Clint groaned as he caught the look. “How long can you stay invisible and run for Kari?”

“Hopefully long enough not to get shot,” I looked between the two of them. Dread started to worm into my body. “Please tell me I won’t get shot?”

“You won’t get shot,” Clint chuckled but there was little amusement behind it. “Just go invisible, run to your right and shoot off a few rounds. Then run like hell.”

“What if he has IR?” I was already slowly pushing myself to my feet.

“He doesn’t have IR otherwise we’d all be dead,” Natasha patted my leg reassuringly. “Just run really fast after you let those few shots off.”

I didn’t let myself have time to be scared. Or to argue over what needed to be done. I needed to do this and I was our best shot at drawing out the enemy sniper. Preferably without a .50 calibre bullet being slammed into any of us. I should have been sick with nerves by the time I’d stood up and let the invisibility slide over my body. My body was shaking but I just couldn’t really feel anything. On numb legs that seemed to work by themselves I jogged about 100 yards to the right of our position. I didn’t even hesitate when I was far away enough. I cocked the P30 and fired off half a dozen rounds. I was sprinting back towards the car as soon as my finger released off the trigger.

The answering round from the sniper slammed into the tree right where I’d been. I ducked behind the wrecked car, skidding to my knees. Leaning against the mangled wreck of metal I was breathing heavily but I didn’t dare go visible just yet. I heard the sharp whizzing sound as Clint fired an arrow off. A second later a gargled scream came followed by an even louder thump. 

“Caw caw motherfucker,” Clint called out across the now quiet landscape. A small laugh escaped from Natasha. 

I went visible again, still breathing heavily. I let my head fall back against the car trying to suck the precious oxygen into my lungs. I’d been on autopilot before and now my body was only just catching up with what I’d done. 

“You good Kari?” Natasha called out. I could see her peeking from out from behind the tree. It was just the barest outline of her figure.

“Yep,” I called back sucking in another deep breath. My heart was still racing but I forced myself to take a few more calming breaths. In and out. That’s all I needed to focus on right now. Clint and Natasha both came from out of the tree line, both still had weapons out.

“We need to move,” Clint reached me first. He slung his bow over his shoulder and offered me his hand. I reached up and grasped it. His firm grip as he pulled me back to my feet seemed to calm my racing heart down. I was fine. I wasn’t shot or hurt in my mad dash. My hands wouldn’t stop shaking though. I could feel them trembling against Clint’s calloused grip.

“It’s just adrenaline,” Clint said to me calmly. “Its normal.”

“Normal,” I let out a very shaky laugh. “No part of my life is ever going to be normal again.”

“You’re laughing your good,” Clint smiled at me, calming me down even further. “We need to get back to the Quinjet.”

I nodded in agreement. Clint gave my hand another squeeze before dropping it. He went back to the tree line to where Dr Baecker was still slumped on the ground unconscious. Natasha was nowhere to be seen. I hadn’t seen her slip away in my brief conversation with Clint.

“Where’s Nat?”

“Scouting ahead,” Clint explained. He was checking over Dr Baecker with eased practice. I guess being married to a doctor had its advantages. “She’ll find anyone ahead that might be trouble for us.”

Would I ever get like that? Just be able to slip away and instantly know what to do in this type of situation? I would have never thought to send someone ahead to check the route for anymore trouble. Now that I thought about it, the sniper should have had a spotter. Clint only fired one arrow. If there had been a spotter where was he now? I opened my mouth to ask Clint but sound of a single shot being fired off made me jump.

“Just me,” Natasha’s voice carried across the air easily. “Found the spotter. Target neutralised.”

Well, that answered my question. 

“Bag anything that might be of interest,” Clint called back. “Same with the sniper. Call out on approach. Kari come help me here.”

I walked over to where Clint was kneeling over Dr Baecker. She was still breathing, but she hadn’t stirred.

“Is she ok?” I asked. 

“She’s breathing, no sign of trauma besides the head wound. I think she’s just knocked herself out,” Clint said calmly. “Are you hurt anywhere?”

I still couldn’t feel anything. I had no doubt I’d be bruised and aching by tomorrow. I just nodded not sure if I really had the words to speak right now. Everything had just happened so fast. One second we were driving and then the next a sniper was trying to take us out. 

“How’s the weather down there?” Natasha’s voice called out.

“Sun is shining,” Clint replied.

I let out a small barely amused chuckle at the call out. It was so simple and in the pitch black night we were in a little out of place. Natasha appeared from the shadows a moment later.

“Nothing,” Natasha’s voice was clipped and professional. “We need to move though.”

“Agreed,” Clint picked up Dr Baecker and propped her over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry. She didn’t even stir as Clint adjusted her. “Grab anything we need from the car Nat.”

This wasn’t going to be fun. Clint took off at a fast jog, me right on his heels. Natasha joined us after emptying the car of our weapons. She handed me the smaller bow Clint had given me earlier and slung Dr Baecker’s bag over her back. She jogged to the front and stayed there. The first few miles were fine. It was easy to fall into a steady rhythm. At about 3 miles into it the jogging started to hurt. At 5 miles it began to really hurt. 10 miles became nearly unbearable from the pain in my ribs. What I couldn’t feel before was now coming to hit me full force. My ribs felt bruised, making drawing in breath painful. My head throbbed with every step of the way. I started to lag behind and it wasn’t until I stumbled Clint turned around to check on me. I rested on my hands on my knees, bent over as if it’d help me breath easier. 

“Nat”, Clint stopped instantly. Natasha only a second behind him. She jogged back to me rubbing my back.

“I’m fine,” I panted shaking my head. “Just need a second.”

“You need to say something,” Natasha scolded me. “You’re no good to us if you collapse.”

“I’m good,” I protested despite my breath coming out in a gasping wheeze. “My head hurts and my ribs feel bruised. I didn’t feel it before.”

“And your adrenaline just wore off I’m guessing,” Natasha continued to rub my back. “We’ve still got about 5 miles to go. Can you suck it up for a bit longer?”

“Sure,” I straightened up. It wasn’t really an option. We were stuck out here in the middle of no where without any means of communication to let anyone know we’d been ambushed. We’d been operating under radio silence and we all left our cell phones behind in the Quinjet. Getting back to the Quinjet was our only option. We needed speed and I wasn’t going to be the dead weight dragging us down. As we took off again, this time Clint fell in behind me. He was there to give me some gentle encouragement anytime I slowed down. Even though I didn't have the breath to word it, I was really grateful for his patience and encouragement. If I’d been in his shoes I don't think I would have been so understanding. I’d be the type of person to wish for a cattle prod for encouragement. 

It was like those last few miles of the arctic survival course stumbling down the mountain and not really remembering anything about it. I knew my feet were moving one in front of the other, but beyond that it was just a blur. I’d barely realised we’d made it to the airfield until my feet made a loud clatter as we ran up the ramp of the Quinjet. That was enough to snap me out of my fog as I ran to the pilot seat. I powered up to get us in the air as soon as possible while Natasha radioed in.

“Sitrep,” it was Coulson’s sharp tone over the radio straight away.

“All accounted for Sir,” Natasha’s face was as calm as her voice. “Ambushed by a sniper about 15 miles from the safe house. Both sniper and spotter neutralised. Sending you through coordinates now for clean up crew.”

Natasha’s fingers flew over the screen of her phone as she kept speaking.

“Dr Baecker will need medical attention back at base, no major injuries but she is unconscious. Barton is stabilising her now.”

I looked over my shoulder to see exactly what Clint was doing. He’d pulled out the gurney that was tucked away under the seats and hanging IV lines. 

“Injury report on you 3,” Coulson sounded less sharp now and more concerned. “No bullshit either. You’ve got clearance to fly as fast as possible back to base. Get back stateside ASAP.”

“Headaches all round,” Natasha rubbed her own forehead as if to emphasise the point. “We haven’t stopped to assess damage to be honest Coulson. It was a long run. But all on our feet and alive without any danger of keeling over before we get home.”

“I’ll have another med team on standby just in case,” Coulson’s voice left no room for arguments. “Radio check in every hour please.”

“Copy that Sir.”

I got us into the air and flying back home as quick as humanly possible. As soon as we levelled out to altitude Natasha got up and went to the back. I didn’t bother with autopilot. We needed to get home and fast. I just hit the stick as hard as possible. My attention was broken by Natasha coming in from behind me. I was about to open my mouth to ask what she was doing when she stabbed me in the neck.

“What the fuck Natasha,” I yelped as she injected me with god knows what. With my free hand I reached around to try and swat her. She’d already moved so I settled for grabbing the stinging flesh. It had been right on the massive hickey Riley had left.

“Morphine and you are welcome,” Natasha drawled. It was times like this her Russian accent made an appearance. “Now hold still while I clean that blood off your face and see how bad that cut actually is.”

“Its fine,” I tried to swat her again. “Leave it alone.”

“Trust me you don’t want to be walking out of this jet with a face full of blood,” Natasha came towards me with an alcohol swab. “Coulson will yank you from the field so quickly your head will spin. And then shoot me and Barton for not looking out for you.”

That made me still. I sighed in defeat and let Natasha probe the cut on my head. I hadn’t paid attention to my reflection until she’d mentioned it. My left hand side of my face had a long trail of blood down it. The cut in my hairline was pretty insignificant but it’d bled like a bitch. I was lucky a cut on my head was the only major concern I had. Now I’d stopped running my ribs stopped aching. Or that might have been the hit of morphine I’d just gotten. My headache had all but disappeared and I could concentrate on flying. Natasha made it painless and kept out of my line of vision. 

“How did you find the spotter?” I asked curiously as Natasha worked away at my face.

“He wasn’t far from his partner,” Natasha gently prodded the cut. It started bleeding a little bit again. “He’d grabbed the rifle and was trying to line a shot up. Didn’t even see me. Sloppy work, not a professional job.”

I flinched, not only at her prodding fingers but the meaning behind those words. I still didn’t know if I could do that. Walk up to someone and put a bullet in their head. It seemed to cold and methodical just coming up behind someone and shooting them. But if Natasha hadn’t of killed the spotter I had no doubt he’d be trying to kill us. It was a sobering thought. 

“Does this happen a lot?” I tapped my fingers against the control stick. “Missions not going to plan?”

“Missions never go to plan,” Natasha let out a small chuckle. “Ever. You just learn to be flexible and deal with whatever situation comes up. By the way that’s a big hickey on your neck.”

Smooth change of subject Romanoff. 

“His are bigger,” I smirked. Two could play that game.

“Fucking vampires, both of you.”

As soon as we hit open ocean I pushed the Quinjet down to the lowest altitude I was cleared for and opened it right up. Clint and Natasha took turns between keeping me awake and keeping an eye on Dr Baecker. She still hadn't woken up yet, despite all her vitals being stable. Clint had gone to pester me to take over the controls until he saw the altitude and speed we were flying at. We were sitting just under Mach 1 at 800ft. Not something I’d be very comfortable letting him handle at this stage. As it was, it was taking a lot of concentration from me to keep going. 

It was strange to being landing back in DC with it being daylight and early afternoon. We’d just flown through several time zones and my body was telling me it should be close to midnight. As soon as I got the Quinjet in position in the hanger it was a massive scuttle of activity. A medical team was on board as soon as the ramp opened and they busied themselves with Dr Baecker. A second team was waiting in the hanger. Coulson standing with them.

“Do you 3 ever stay out of trouble?” Coulson looked between the three of us with obvious relief. “Debrief while you get checked. Lets go.”

I didn’t need to be told twice. I grabbed my phone and followed my team up the medical.

I sat on the bed quietly while Clint and Natasha filled Coulson in on what happened out there. The cut on my head didn’t need stitches, but my ribs were bruised. I’d be given strict orders on no training for the next week, at all. After being the straggler and weakest one in this mission I had every intention of defying that order. Judging by the smirk Natasha gave me when I was told that, I was sure she’d be the one helping me defy that order as well. 

“And then we were home,” Clint finished. I’d barely heard anything during the run down he and Natasha had given. I was tired and desperately wanted a shower. 

“Lets see what forensics brings us,” Coulson was sitting in chair in front of us. “Otherwise I don’t want to see any of you for the next week. Go home and get some well deserved R&R. Kari you can wait here for a second.”

I’d gone to get up as soon as Coulson said we could go home. Dammit. I obediently sat back down on the bed watching Natasha and Clint both leave with a pout on my face. Natasha held her fist up towards her ear in the indication she’d call me later. I just nodded before turning back to Coulson.

“Can I trust you to go home?” Coulson got straight to the point as soon as the door clicked close. 

“I’m not going to sit here for the next week smelling like Clint’s gym bag,” I said smartly. I immediately toned down my sassiness with the look Coulson gave me. He was not amused and being deadly serious. 

“I’m staying with Riley while Jared is away,” I said quickly to cover my ass before I got into trouble. “I won’t be alone. If I’m having any problems I’ll ring you straight away.”

I knew what Coulson was getting at. This mission wasn’t terribly easy on me. Right now my mental health would be more of a concern than my physical health. I had no doubt I soon as I got back to work I’d be sitting down with a psychologist. How I’d made it this far into my job and not had a psych evaluation yet I will never know. They weren’t my favourite thing in the world. 

“Good,” Coulson was watching me carefully. “He’s waiting outside by the way. I didn’t want you driving home so I called him in.”

“Thank you Sir,” I had to use every ounce of self control not to leap off the bed. “Am I dismissed?”

“Go,” a small smile broke out on Coulson’s face. “Be good, and listen to the doctor’s orders.”

I didn’t need to be told twice.


	19. Chapter 19

One thing I’d learnt about Riley very quickly was that if he didn’t have to get out of bed he was very happy to sleep in for as long as possible. I envied his ability to sleep in past 0700. My body clock and bladder refused to let me sleep past that time unless I was really tired. He was a pretty heavy sleeper as well. I could get up, shower and dress and he wouldn’t stir from his slumber. I used that to my advantage a few mornings after I’d gotten back from the mission in Germany. Riley didn’t have to be at work until the afternoon for because his team were doing a night shoot at the range.

It was 0515 and I snuck around the apartment quietly, dressed in my workout gear. I was already bursting from energy from having 5 days of doing nothing. Well, it wasn’t nothing. Riley had kept his promise about fucking on every available surface on the apartment when he wasn’t at work. I wasn’t sure he was going to do it. He was concerned about me being hurt and didn’t want to jostle my bruised ribs. But it didn’t take much convincing from me that I was more than up to it. 

I’d nearly reached the door when I realised I’d forgotten my iPod. I hesitated, not wanting to risk my good luck of nearly making it out of the apartment unnoticed. Pulling a face at my forgetfulness I turned around and walked back through the lounge room. I was sure I’d left it on charge near the TV.

I was right. I did leave it next to the TV. It was sitting on the floor resting on the power board. As I straightened up a motion caught the corner of my eye. 

“Are you sneaking off to work out?” Riley’s voice made me whirl around back towards the bedroom. I was so busted.

“Ummm no?” I smiled sweetly. “I was going to go get coffee.”

Riley learnt against the doorframe crossing his arms. He just raised an eyebrow at my lame explanation. Dammit, of all the mornings he had to wake up early now had to be it.

“I distinctly remember Agent Coulson saying that you had to take it easy for the next week,” Riley smirked. “And going for a jog isn’t taking it easy.”

“Neither is having sex 4 times a day,” I shot back slowly inching my way backwards. “It’s just a little jog.”

“That will jostle your bruised ribs,” Riley pushed himself off the doorframe. “And make it longer off work. Believe me I know all about that.”

“They feel great,” I said. It was a half truth. As long as I didn’t jostle them too much they felt fine. Riley was closing in on me as I kept moving just out of reach. “I won’t be long.”

“You aren’t going for a jog,” Riley let out a small laugh. “Come back to bed, a few more days off won’t kill you.”

“It might,” I wasn’t far from the door now. “You go back to bed, I’ll join you when I’m done.”

“I’m just going to handcuff you to the bed so you can’t leave,” Riley threatened playfully. “Keep you there so I know you won’t get into mischief while I’m at work.”

“I would like to see you try,” I challenged him with a grin. I glanced back to see how far I really was from the door. It was only about 10 steps to my freedom. In my brief second of hesitated Riley crossed the room. I shrieked with laughter and bolted trying to outrun him. I only made it 6 steps before Riley grabbed me around the waist, spinning me around. I was giggling like an idiot which only got louder as Riley threw me up and over his shoulder. 

“No fair,” I tried to wriggle free from him. I twisted my body around struggling to get from his iron grip. 

“I did warn you,” Riley gave me a light smack across the ass. “You wear the consequences now.”

I tried to get free from his grip enough to wrap my thighs around his neck. I’d seen Natasha do a move where she’d wrap her thighs around Clint’s neck and pull him to the ground. If I could get my thighs around Riley’s neck I’m pretty sure I could do the same thing. 

Riley walked back to the bedroom and threw me down on the bed. It only made me giggle louder as he was on top of me, grabbing my arms and pinning me down. I wriggled underneath him seeing if I could get loose. He was like trying to move a mountain, solid and unyielding above me. 

“You can’t handcuff me,” I craned my neck trying to sneak a kiss in. Riley moved just out of my reach, looking down with a playful smile. 

“And why can’t I handcuff you?” Riley dropped a brief kiss on my lips. I tried to wrap my legs around his waist, but his own legs kept me pinned effectively to the bed. 

“You don’t have any handcuffs.”

Riley lent down and reached under the bed. His weight moving was enough to give me a small amount of leverage. I only managed to get one leg around him before he pinned me again.

“Tsk, gotta be quicker than that,” Riley laughed at me. In one swift movement he had my left hand snapped in a cuff and the other to his bedhead. He’d done it so quickly it wasn't until I jerked on my free hand I actually realised it was attached to the bed. The cold metal bit into my wrist as I gave it another tug. I pouted realising I’d been bested.

“That’s mean,” I turned back to Riley with an even bigger pout. “Do I want to know why you have a pair of handcuffs under the bed?”

“They’re for work,” Riley sat up so he was straddling my waist. “And no you can’t use yours on me when you get them.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” I grinned up at him. My free hand moved to rest on his thigh. If I couldn’t wiggle free, then maybe I could just distract him with sex. Riley reached down and laced his fingers through mine, effectively stopping my hand from wandering. 

“It’s more fun if I have you handcuffed to the bed,” Riley just smirked. The smug look on his face made me laugh at him. He looked so damn proud of himself. 

“I have girls night tonight, you can’t keep me handcuffed here forever,” I reminded him.

Dinner at Heebeen hadn’t happened. Laura had been called into work and Natasha still had a headache so we postponed it. But tonight Clint had promised Cooper and Lila that he’d take them to see Madagascar 2. Coulson was tagging along for moral support. Or so he said. I was sure he just wanted to see it as well. So we planned a girls night instead. It’d just worked out perfectly since Riley was at work tonight.

“It is a pretty tempting offer to keep you handcuffed here,” Riley’s smirk grew even bigger. “And since you can’t cook I don’t even have to move you to the kitchen.”

“Isn’t the expression pregnant, barefoot and in the kitchen?” I joked. I tried to buck him off but his legs just closed around me tighter. He laughed at my feeble attempts to get him off.

“Maybe later,” Riley ran his fingers down my side. I snorted and jerked away from his tickling fingers. “As much as I’d love to have kids, I love my job even more right now. Can’t really see kids fitting into the scheme of things just yet.”

“Well thats good because I haven’t given any thought to the idea of having kids,” I mentally smacked myself for what I’d just been joking around with. We’d just started dating, why would I bring something like that up? Even if I was just mucking around it was a pretty serious topic. One we hadn’t even touched on. 

“Plenty of time for that later,” Riley didn’t seem perturbed. He still had the playful grin on his face. “So if I take the cuffs off do you promise not to run away on me?”

“I suppose,” I sighed dramatically with a massive eye roll. “Does that mean you’ll cook breakfast?”

I relaxed a little at his words. I’m glad he hadn’t taken it like I was trying to pin him down already and commit to something that big. I could barely keep track of myself most days, let alone a smaller human depending on me for everything. Kids were not on my list of things to consider anytime soon. 

“I was thinking eggs benedict with smoked salmon,” Riley leant over and started to fiddle with the handcuffs. The one attached to the bedhead opened first. I looked up again to see how he’d done it. I hadn’t seen him reach for a key.

“They pressure lock,” Riley explained as he opened the one on my wrist. “See, little button here out of reach of your fingers.”

He showed me the small indent in the middle of the handcuffs. It was invisible unless you really knew what you were looking for. It was out of reach of prying fingers and Riley had to put a bit of force into it to actually get it to pop open. 

“That solves the problem of losing keys,” I was impressed at the small piece of genius making them keyless. You wouldn’t be able to pick the lock to get free either. “So can you teach me to get handcuffs on that quickly? I barely saw you move before I was locked to the bed.”

“Am I going to regret this?” Riley lent back so he was straddling my waist again. His hands pushed under my shirt, dragging across my stomach lightly. 

“No more than letting me play with your CheyTac,” I smiled up at him at what I hoped would be convincing. “Please?”

“Of course I will,” Riley laughed. “You still owe me flying lessons if you get to shoot my CheyTac.”

“I will sneak you in when I’m doing one of those boring shipment drops,” I said gleefully. It was another thing I had to learn but I was happy Riley agreed to help me with it. I dreaded the thought of Natasha doing it. She’d no doubt have my hand and arm handcuffed together and then leave me there on the gym mats.

“And we can join the mile high club while we’re at it?” Riley looked so hopeful it made me laugh. 

“Aren’t you meant to be the shy and well behaved one?”

“I’m only well behaved because I’m not stupid enough to get caught,” Riley laughed with me. “Come on, breakfast and then I need to do something adult things. Like do the laundry before the pile in the bathroom topples over and kills one of us.”

I had to admit he was right. The pile of dirty laundry in the bathroom was getting a bit crazy. Even for my slack housework standards. It was the only real mess in the house. Thankfully we were both too preoccupied with each other to actually make a mess of anything. Neither of us were exactly messy people either. We both picked up after ourselves so there never really was a mess to begin with.

“Would you like me to distract you while you try and be an adult for a few hours?” I asked wriggling my hips underneath him if he didn’t already catch my meaning.

“Sure, if you’re pinned underneath me I know you aren’t getting into trouble.”

There was no arguing with that logic. Besides, I think the workout clothes I had on were about the last things clean I had here at Riley’s. I might just have to throw them in the wash while I was here. 

~ ~ ~  
“Honey I’m home,” I called out as I walked through the front door of Clint’s house. It was a bit of a tradition now to call that out. Natasha and Coulson both did it. I may as well keep it up as well.

A loud thump followed by the scuttling of nails on the floorboards, Lucky and Lucy both bounded out to me. A loud squeal had Lila right on their heels. I scooped her up and hugged her tightly while patting the 2 dogs.

“I missed you Kari!” Lila wrapped her arms around my neck tightly “I’ve got ballet recital coming up soon. Are you coming?”

“Of course I am,” I said straight away. Lila was Natasha’s little ballerina prodigy. From what I heard she was nothing short of amazing for her age. She was going to be a prima ballerina if Natasha had her way. 

“Are you coming to the movies tonight?” Lila was so articulate for her age. Some of my cousins at her age weren’t nearly as well spoken as her. 

“No, I’m staying here with Aunty Nat and your Mom,” as the words came out Lila’s face fell. 

“But,” her bottom lip stuck out in a pout. “I want you to come.”

“I’ll be here you when get back,” I promised. “I’ll even tuck you into bed.”

That seemed to mollify her. With another hug she jumped down from me and scampered off again. Cooper was nowhere to be seen or heard. He was definitely the quieter of the 2 children. 

“Laura?” I called out not sure where to go to from here.

“Lounge room,” Laura’s voice carried back. “You’re late, get your skinny ass in here.”

Feel the love coming through those words. I rolled my eyes and found Laura and Natasha on the couch in the lounge room with half a bottle of champagne already gone. I could smell something amazing coming from the kitchen. I hoped whatever it was, that was dinner tonight.

“Late,” Natasha scolded me. 

“Yeah I got distracted,” I just smiled smugly at the memory of what I’d been distracted with. “Give me alcohol.”

“One glass of french champagne for the crazy lady mark 2,” Laura poured a glass of bubbling liquid from the bottle. It was a rose and by the look of the bottle something that was expensive. I picked up one of the unopened bottles and looked at the label.

“Let me guess, Jared dropped it off?” I asked.

Dom Perignon Rose 2003 bottle. Not something you could easily pick up on the corner store in the US. Also insanely expensive. Taking the offered glass I sat down and took a sip. It tasted amazing, like a $500 bottle of champagne should. I tucked my feet up on the overstuffed lounge chair sighing in contentment. There wasn’t a lot that could ruin today.

“He stole a few bottles at the last fancy function he was undercover for,” Natasha explained seeing the look on my face. “We might be well paid but we’re not THAT well paid.”

“Glad someone saw him then,” I felt a tiny pang of guilt for not keeping in touch with him over this last 2 weeks. I hadn’t heard from him since he told me was off to Europe for work. But he hadn’t kept in touch either.

“He was here and gone within 30 seconds,” Natasha shrugged. “Barely said hello. I just asked him to get us something nice to drink.”

“Well he is handy for that.” 

While I was in Iraq a group of Australian SAS soldiers had introduced us to Vegemite. No one else liked it but I got hooked on it pretty quickly. When I mentioned it to Jared, he’d teleport to a store in Australia to buy it for me when I ran out. I use it sparingly but it was very handy to be able to get it so easily. Plus it always gave me an excuse to see Jared, even if it was just for a little bit. He never complained about it and always came to my call if the Vegemite ran out.

“So why is there a handcuff mark on your wrist?” Natasha tone was innocent but the look on her face was a different story. “Didn’t pick him for the bondage type.”  
 Laura had just gone to take a sip of champagne as Natasha spoke. She inhaled a little bit and choked out with laughter.

“It wasn’t like that!” I protested. My protest only made Natasha give her trademark smug smirk.

“Sure I believe you,” Natasha drawled.

“No I tried to sneak out for a jog this morning,” I started to explain. By the roll of Laura’s eyes I could tell I was in for a lecture once I was done. “He caught me and made good of his threat to handcuff me to the bed to stay out of trouble.”

“Fury picked well putting you with these two” Laura scolded me straight away. “You know Doctor’s give orders for your own well being. It isn’t a challenge to see how quickly you can break them.”

The lecture was well deserved. But Laura was also having a problem keeping a straight face throughout it. Natasha was hiding her own laughter by downing another glass of champagne like it was a vodka shot. I swigged at mine with no class that the fine vintage deserved. Jared really knew how to pick something good. 

“I had too much energy,” my defence was weak. “I just needed to work it off.”

“Then have more sex,” Natasha quipped quickly reaching over for an unopened bottle. Laura stopped her with a slap on the wrist. I admired her courage. I wouldn’t be game to smack Natasha even if it was just jokingly.

“Finish the last bottle and no drinking from it,” Laura admonished her. “Honestly you’d think you weren’t house trained.”

“I have tried,” Clint’s voice came from the doorway. A second later he walked in with both the dogs trailing at his heels. “At least she doesn’t clean her guns on the table anymore. Or drink from the soda bottle in the fridge.”

I had a sudden mental image of Natasha and I sitting at the kitchen table. Her cleaning the Glock’s she was fond of and me having the AWSM sniper riffle sitting in pieces. Chatting over a bottle of vodka. It was gone just as quickly as it popped into my head. But I still couldn’t stop the strangled snort of laughter at it. 3 heads turned to look at me like I’d just lost my mind.

“Don’t mind me,” I took another sip of champagne. “I just had this mental imagine of me and Nat cleaning our guns on the table.”

“Add Clint fucking with his bow and you’re all one happy little family,” Laura teased. Both Clint and Natasha rolled their eyes at the exact same time. I just hid my grin behind my own glass. 

“Dinner is on the stove for whenever you want it,” Clint steered the conversation away from his bad habits. “Coulson just called and he’ll be here in 2 minutes.”

“Then I suggest you go make sure your son is actually dressed and not upstairs reading,” Laura quirked an eyebrow at her husband. “Or pulling something apart and putting it back together again. And Lila hasn’t decided to go play in the mud outside.”

The weather this week hadn’t been nice at all. Autumn had really set in and graced DC with constant drizzling rain and well below average temperatures. It’d made staying indoors all the more bearable while I was on ordered rest for the week. I’d bundled up in a few layers of clothes just to ride over here. It was ironic me not being a fan of the cold. I’d often complained about it when I was younger that my power should be able to shield me from it. A least a little bit. But no such luck. 

“Going,” Clint said. He walked over and pressed a brief kiss on Laura’s lips. “Behave.”

“Bring home ice cream,” Laura said. The command in her voice left no room for questions. “You ate my cookie dough ice cream and now I want it after dinner.”

“Yes Boss Ma’am,” Clint smiled playfully before a thoughtful look crossed his face. “You sure you should be drinking that wine?”

“Champagne, and yes you idiot I know how my body works,” Laura laughed as she gave him a shove. “Go, have fun at the movies with the kids.”

I watched the pair interact with surprise. Even as oblivious as I could be even I couldn’t miss the meaning behind those words. Flicking my gaze over to Natasha who was sitting next to Laura on the large sofa, she didn’t look surprised. If anything she watched the pair of them intently with a small smile on her face. It wasn’t until Clint left the room Natasha turned to Laura.

“Third one is mine.”

“We aren’t having a third one,” Laura rolled her eyes taking a long swallow of champagne. “No matter how much both of you harass me about it. Two is more than enough.”

Natasha turned to look at me with a hopeful expression.

“Oh hell fucking no,” I laughed. “I’m not having a kid just for your amusement. Besides we’ve only just started dating.”

“But you’re both so smitten,” Natasha pouted in an over exaggerated manner. “I bet he’ll drop the L word soon. You’ll get married, have babies and all that shit.”

“Honestly I’m just happy with the sex 4 times a day,” I said without thinking. I clapped my hand over my mouth realising my slip, muting my girlishly giggle that escaped as well. The words were already out. I wasn’t spared the laughter from Natasha or Laura.

“Ugh god it’s another Clint,” Laura laughed as they both calmed down. “Must be something they feed you STRIKE people. All muscles and insanely high sex drives.”

“I’m working on the muscle department,” I felt a rush of warmth as the flood of alcohol flooded through my body. That was quick. Only a glass in and I was already feeling the buzz. “I’d like to know where you find time between your job, 2 kids and our work to even fit that in.”

“You’d be amazed at how creative you can get” Laura said dryly. “And the kids have a very good Aunt who is quite happy to allow us a dirty weekend away every so often.”

Natasha just smiled over her glass of champagne. It was a very smug and all knowing smile. Her eyes flicked to mine and I had no doubt I was already being roped into the next time Clint and Laura wanted a weekend away. I could see it being a disaster, but a very fun disaster. I could already see it. Ice cream for breakfast. Disney movies all day long. Living off takeaway all weekend long. Sounded like a lot of fun the more I planned it out in my head. I wondered how Clint felt about taking his kids to the range and teaching them to shoot. Or if Jared was around we could whisk them off to New York. If Cooper really liked pulling things apart and putting them back together I’d imagine he and my Dad would get on famously.

“Right I’m getting food,” Natasha suddenly jerked to her feet. “That stir fry smells way too good.”

At the mention of food my stomach agreed with Natasha. I remembered her telling me ages ago about Clint’s stir fry. I was now about to find out first hand.

“I’ll help,” I got to my feet as well.

“Sit,” Laura commanded. “Actually, let me have a quick look at your ribs. Make sure you aren’t over exerting yourself.”

The suggestive wiggle of her eyebrows was enough to make me laugh quietly. I hiked my shirt up and turned the offending bruised side towards Laura. The bruises had faded to a mottled green and yellow colour now instead of the angry shade of purple they had been. No wonder it’d hurt like hell at the time. 

“Ouch,” Laura’s face was full of sympathy. “That wouldn’t have tickled. Looks where it should be for a few days after though.”

“We’re going,” Clint came back into the doorway of the lounge room before I could reply. Cooper squeezed through the side between his Father and made a dash for me. I quickly dropped my shirt and didn’t even wince when he barrelled into me. I returned the hug messing up his hair as well.

“Hey dude,” I grinned. That little piece of information about him liking to tinker gave me all sorts of ideas. I think Cooper had a birthday coming up very soon. Clint did mention something about a kids party and wanting to have both Natasha and I there as a buffer. Under that quiet exterior I didn’t doubt Clint’s eldest was as smart as they come. Just like his Dad. They both hid it extremely well.

“Come on we’ll be late,” Coulson’s voice came down the hallway.

It was only at the sound of his voice Lucy and Lucky actually ran down the hallway barking at him. Cooper followed the dogs. Lila wasn’t far behind him. Thankfully still clean and not covered in mud. 

“Worst guard dogs ever,” Clint scolded after the dogs. “Sure let the person in first before you bark at them. Oh even better, lick his hand.”

“Well you do bring the strays in,” Laura said. “Cant expect them all to behave.”

She took another sip of champagne looking directly at Natasha and I.

“I behave,” I quickly defended myself. “I’ve gone 5 days without breaking any rules. That has to be some sort of record for STRIKE Team Delta.”

“I went 2 weeks once,” Natasha pouted slightly. “That’s the record.”

“You were unconscious for 2 weeks,” Laura argued back .“You didn’t have a choice. That’s what happens when you decide to throw yourselves off a building and bounce off the scaffolding with your head.”

“I don’t remember,” Natasha pointed out. “For obvious reasons.”

“I need to know this now,” I settled back down against the couch.

“Bye!” there was a chorus from the group leaving. We barely acknowledged them leaving before Natasha filled her glass again.

“Well, Barton had this fantastic idea of getting up a half finished building in Abidjan,” Natasha started.

I didn’t even know where Abidjan was. Natasha had my full attention and by the look of wrapt attention on Laura’s face I knew it was going to be a good story.


	20. Chapter 20

I tucked one leg up under my ass as I sat on the chair, waiting in the hallway. I'd expected this weeks ago but the email had never come. I'd been happy to put it off for as long as possible. But there was no escaping now.  
My very first psychologist appointment with SHIELD. Apparently I was important enough to even get SHIELD's top psychologist, Dr Andrew Garner. He was only a civilian contractor and brought in for special cases. Turns out I was a special case. I'd gotten a lift to work this morning with Clint. It was pouring down rain and freezing. Riley had been called in for a short mission at 0400 this morning so I couldn't hitch a lift with him. I didn't want to do anything stupid, like coming off my Kawasaki the morning of hopefully getting medical clearance to be back at work. The email had come through on the drive there and when I read it out to Clint didn't look surprised. He explained that after a mission not going within the acceptable parameters it was compulsory to at least have one psychologist session. His was right after mine and he planned on making a complete nuisance of himself. Or so he informed me with a smug look on his face. I was surprised it'd actually taken this long for SHIELD to make me sit down and talk to someone. I suppose I was being watched by 2 of the best in the business. If I was going to snap under pressure as least Clint and Natasha could handle me.

It wasn't stopping me from being a bit nervous about this.

"Agent Lyngley?" the door opened and a tall well built man stepped out. He was dark skinned and wearing a welcoming smile. Like everyone with an office job as SHIELD he was well dressed. I couldn't wear a suit all day. I was very comfortable in the black tactical pants and t-shirt I'd be given. Even my flight suit was comfortable. I was really stalling and my mind was wandering. My scattered brain wasn't helping my nerves. They kicked in full force the second Dr Garner opened his door.

"That's me," I sprung to my feet instantly. In my haste to get up I nearly tripped over my own damn feet. I managed to catch myself in time to not fall on my face and make a complete idiot of myself. 0830 and I was already having a clumsy day. I may as well go home now and be done with it.

"Come in, please." Andrew gave a small smile. "I can imagine your keen to get this over and done with.”

Was I that easy to read? I followed him into the office a step behind him. I sat down in the chair he extended his hand towards, pulling my legs up so I was sitting cross legged. I rested my chin in my hand resisting the urge to fidget as Andrew sat down across from me. At least the chair was comfortable. It was more like lounge chair. A very comfortable lounge chair. One I could happily fall asleep in.

"So," Andrew settled down into the chair across from mine. "I promise to make this quick and painless as possible. How are you settling into life here in DC?”

"Better than expected," if we were going to make this quick and painless then there was no point fucking around. I may as well get straight to the point. "I didn't think it'd go so smoothly, but it has. Jared had been a big help.”

I didn't miss the discreet eye roll coming from Andrew at the mention of Jared's name. I bit the inside of my cheek to hide my own grin. Bringing up Jared's name seemed to get that kind of reaction a lot. Especially from guys.

"And what about your new team?" Andrew asked.

"They've been awesome," that brought an actual smile to my face. "Nat and Barton have gone out of their way to make me feel welcome into their otherwise private lives. I'm really lucky to have them.”

"I have no doubt they feel the same way," Andrew looked down to his iPad briefly. "Any lingering effects from your incident?”

Andrew certainly didn't mince words or waste time. Maybe he was an eager to have this over with as I was. Who knew what else he had to deal with today. Having Clint after me would make me want to get through nearly anything in record time.

"A few weird dreams, but nothing I remember in the morning," I gave a small shrug."Honestly I think I've been more upset about missing Saturday mornings where my neighbour would drop freshly baked muffins off to me.”

Mrs Jackson really did cook the best muffins. Nothing ever tasted quite as good as hers. That statement made Andrew chuckle quietly.

"I got dealt a shit hand," I continued before Andrew could speak again. "My entire life blew up in my face, a life I'd worked really hard at. But I've been given one hell of a second chance and I'm embracing it. A lot of people would happily kill me for the opportunity I've been given. I'm doing everything in my power to make sure I don't disappoint.”

"That is a very healthy way of putting things," Andrew nodded as he tapped away at the screen making notes. "Sorry this iPad is new. I'm more comfortable with a pen and paper. But my wife insists I need to upgrade to modern times.”

I chuckled but didn't say anything else. I just waited for Andrew to finish what he was typing away at on the iPad. He was painfully slow. Maybe his wife should show him how to type quicker as well.

"While we're not mincing words and being honest," Andrew finally looked up from the iPad "Would you like to tell me about your last mission?”

"It hurts a lot when a sniper take your tyres out and the car rolls?" I said smartly.

The unamused look Andrew gave me quickly knocked the sass from me and I changed my tune.

"Honestly Dr Garner, there isn't a lot to tell about it," I pursed my lips slightly not sure how to put this into words "At the moment I'm being trained by the 2 best Agents SHIELD has to offer and I always know they have my back. It was a little bit crazy but I haven't had any lingering problems from it.”

I quickly stopped myself before I added that Riley had been keeping me too busy to dwell on that mission. What I said was the honest truth. At no time would Clint or Natasha ask me to do anything they wouldn't think I was capable of. It was my own insecurities holding me back. Not my lack of training from them. Every day I was learning something new. It could be from Clint talking me through something while we were doing archery practice. Or just a casual mention of a topic which would bring a blank look to my face and Natasha would take the time to run me through it. I'd learn more from them in the last few weeks than the month of reading my SHIELD manuals.

"Is there anything from that mission that did bother you?" Andrew was watching me carefully. This was a test and I knew it. The wrong words would leave me off duty for longer and some more of these sessions. Both things I didn't want.

"Natasha shooting the spotter rattled me a touch," I went for the honest approach hoping it was my best option. "While I knew the reason for taking him out it still played on my mind.”

"In what way?”

"I can't imagine killing anyone point blank like that," I chewed on my lip feeling nervous again. "I mean I know I've killed people when I was a pilot in air strikes. But it's a whole new things putting a bullet into someone's head where you can see the person. See their reaction of they're about to die. I don't know but it just feels cold and ruthless. I can't see myself doing it.”

"Again a normal reaction," Andrew gave me a brief smile. "One that many agents who walk through this door have. It's not an easy or pleasant thing to take a life. Even more so in your line of work as a STRIKE member. Besides Specialists your field sees the most action out of anyone in SHIELD. Its normal to have doubts about something like that. In your circumstances majority of STRIKE come through the Academy, its one of the most competitive fields to get into to.”

This I already knew from the snippets I'd heard when I first started here. Specialist and STRIKE, the two most competitive and hardest fields. Both had a huge wash out rates in the Academy. I think Jared said something like 65% of people who start won't make graduation. It made it tougher than most special forces units training. Even Riley had joked once to Jared he was glad he went through SEAL training instead of the Academy.

"Those agents get 2 years training and preparation, not a month," Andrew continued. "I have to say I don't agree with how your situation was handled.”

"Yeah neither does my Mom," I rolled my eyes unable to contain my smart ass attitude again. I still hadn't called her. But the last email I'd gotten from her made it very clear that I needed to fix that problem ASAP. Before she got in a plane to DC and dragged everything out of me the easy or the hard way. I was tempted to reply with only if she was buying dinner while she was here.

"But I do believe the right call has been made," Andrew tapped his fingers against the iPad making the screen light up briefly. He'd chosen to ignore my attitude again. I snuck a glance down to his lock screen and couldn't stop my eyebrows jumping up in surprise. It was a picture of him and Agent May.

"Yes, that's my wife," Andrew's gaze followed mine down to the electronic device in his lap. "I believe you met her a few weeks ago?”

"Yes, on my first mission," I said quickly to cover my embarrassment at being caught snooping. "Barton called her Cookies and if there's one thing I've learnt quickly is never to repeat anything he says.”

"Wise decision," Andrew laughed briefly "But back to you instead of deflecting.”

I wasn't deflecting. I was curious seeing that picture pop up onto his screen. If nothing else it made me relax a little more. Andrew wasn't just speaking from his experience of a psychologist. He had a wife who was a Specialist, making it even more real for him. He would have seen more of what goes on the inside of an elite member of SHIELD's enforcement division than anything else.

"Do you at any point feel like you've been over loaded or forced into a situation where you haven't been in control so far?" Andrew continued before I could give him anymore attitude. He was very good at this. Straight to the point, no holding back on anything. I'd give anything to be able to sit in on Clint's session and see how Andrew handled him. It could give me a few tips on how to handle his childish attitude.

"Not really," and that was the honest truth. "Of course I'm having moments of self doubt about whether I can handle things. But in the end I have been. And I trust Nat and Clint.”

That's what everything boiled down to. Trust. I trusted those two with my life. It was a scary thing to put so much stock in just 2 people. But somewhere in this crazy ride that had become my life it'd fallen in there easily.

Andrew didn't say anything else. He just unlocked his iPad again and began tapping away on the screen. This time he shifted his leg so it was angled away from me. I tapped my foot against my leg restlessly. Only 15 minutes into this session and I'd felt like I'd done something wrong. Andrew hadn't asked me a lot. He hadn't delved into anything or pushed for more information with my answers. I hadn't fed him any bullshit either. I had a sneaking suspicion that if I'd given him bullshit answers he would have callen me out on in straight away.

"So am I crazy?" I joked to break the silence.

"No more than I'd expect from a someone who managed to make her way onto STRIKE Team Delta," Andrew said lightly. His gentle teasing tone put me right at ease as he tapped away slowly on the screen of his iPad.

"Well, there is the running joke of Coulson is the one who always lets the strays come in," I leant back against the chair settling into the comfort of it.

"That he does," Andrew chuckled this time. "No Agent Lyngley, you aren't crazy. I appreciate the effort on your part not to give me any grief either and be open. I'm assuming you talk to Barton and Romanoff about most things if you have any concerns?”

"And Jared when he's here, Riley as well.”

The mention of Riley's name made Andrew's eyes flick back up towards me.

"Agent Hunterton," I quickly elaborated "He's on STRIKE Team Bravo, the marksman. We've been seeing each other for the last few weeks.”

"Ah, yes that was in your file," Andrew kept his gaze up at me this time. "How's that been going? It's not easy maintaining a relationship in this kind of work life.”

"Call it still being in the honeymoon phase of the relationship, but he's pretty amazing," I couldn't stop the stupid grin I always seemed to get whenever he was mentioned from pulling on my lips. "And it might be easier saying this now than later on down the track but he understands when I have to drop everything at a moments notice. Just like this morning he had to leave for a mission early and I completely understand that he just has to drop everything and go.”

"Honeymoon phase or not that's a good understanding and a key to making a relationship work," Andrew let out a brief chuckle. "Believe me when I say I know that all too well. Well, Agent Lyngley, we're finished here unless you have anything you want to discuss with me.”

"That's it?" I couldn't keep the surprise out of my voice.

"That's it," Andrew confirmed. "I do meant it when I saw I appreciate the effort of you being open and honest with me. It makes these sessions a lot smoother. I have no problems clearing you for work from a psych point of view.”

"Yay," my grin got wider, "Thank you Dr Garner.”

I bounced out of my chair ready to bolt from the room if he changed his mind at any second. I kept my footsteps quick but making it look like I wasn't ready to run off. Andrew got up more sedately and followed me a few steps behind as I made my way to the door. I opened it and he grabbed it keeping it open for me.

"If there's any issues please don't hesitate to contact me directly," Andrew said before I could walk away. "I may only be a consultant for SHIELD but I'm happy to be on hand if anything arises. Especially in the extenuating circumstances you're in.”

"I will be in touch," I promised, "Thank you again.”

"Pleasure Agent Lyngley," Andrew game me another smile. "By all means please tell your brother if he acted more like you his own sessions would go a lot smoother.”

"Yeah because he listens to me as much he would listen to you," I couldn't stop the roll of my eyes.  
"Well, a man can try.”

That made me laugh. I think Dr Garner and I were going to get along just fine. Another thing that would make my life easier at work.

My next stop was the medical wing to get cleared back for active duty. The bruises on my ribs had faded to nearly nothing now. I'd walked straight into an open door with my old injured side this morning without a flinch. While I was on my way I sent Natasha a text, knowing Clint would be in his psych session soon.

Once I got cleared from medical want to come to the archery fields?

I was dying for a bit of action. Even if it was just shooting the training bow for a bit. Natasha liked to bring her throwing knives to the archery field if Clint and I were shooting. She was amazing with them. I planned to pester her for a go today if she was coming with me.

I was in the elevator once her reply came through.

I'm bringing paintball rounds, want some? I'll bring your bow.

Did she even have to ask? A hell fucking yes was the answer I shot off quickly to her before I kept walking towards medical. Her grabbing my bow from my locker would save me another long walk to the locker room and the back to the archery fields. Even 2 months down the track I still wasn't used to how big the Triskelion really was. It was a solid 5 minute walk to just about anywhere in it. I still got lost and had gotten used to asking for directions without being completely embarrassed.

I made it to medical without needing directions. I was in and out within 5 minutes. The doctor who'd originally seen my bruised ribs took one look at them and said I was good to go. Nothing more than a formality in the doctor's words. Another box ticked and I was back to active duty. I had no doubt an updated roster would land in my email inbox sometime soon.   
By the time I'd gotten to the archery range Natasha was already there dumping a full magazine into one of Clint's archery targets. It was now splattered with various colours thanks to the marking rounds she was shooting. I waited until she was finished shooting before I walked up next to her.

"Couldn't find paintball rounds so we have to settle for chalk rounds instead," Natasha grumbled as she grabbed another full magazine and reloaded.

My training bow was sitting next to her with a full quiver of arrows. A P30 with a few magazines was sitting waiting as well. She'd already put the conversion kit on it to be able to fire the chalk rounds. It seems Natasha planned on spending a few hours here and she'd brought enough weapons and ammo to keep us both amused. There was an entire box of chalk rounds sitting there as well. It was well over 1000 rounds.

The rain had eased up while I was inside. It was still chilly but at least the sun was trying to make an appearance. I went for my bow first, slinging the quiver over my shoulder. I pulled 2 arrows from the quiver wanting to practice something Clint did.

He could hold his arrows in his draw hand and just shoot them off without a pause. It was crazy how quickly he could do it. He could do it left and right handed as well, something I was very envious about. Being right handed my left hand just seemed to have a mind of its own when I tried to copy Clint. Most of the time I spent dropping my arrows, or sending the second one flying way off target. But it was fun to keep trying to perfect it.

"How was your psych session?" Natasha asked. She aimed her Glock and fired a single round off. It hit the target just left of the centre, something she wrinkled her nose in disgust about.

"In and out" I notched my first arrow and let it loose. I couldn't stop myself from feeling smug at it hit dead centre. "Andrew apparently appreciates it when people don't feed him bullshit.”

"Andrew is good," Natasha emptied the magazine into the target. "What did you talk about?”

"Just the usual shit," I shot off my second arrow. I'd gotten too distracted watching Natasha hit the target to try and fire it straight after the first one. "Wanted to know if anything was bothering me from the last mission.”

"Was there?”

"You shooting the spotter was about it," I pulled another arrow out of the quiver and shot it off as fast as I could. It landed an inch too far to the right of my intended spot. Shit. It was my turn to wrinkle my nose in disgust at my bad shot.

Natasha stopped reloading her Glock and looked over at me. She had a blank expression on her face as she didn't take her eyes off me.

"Why did that bother you?" Natasha's tone was flat, giving nothing away.

"Because I can't see myself doing it. I don't know how I'd do it, or even what I'd feel afterwards," I shrugged feeling uneasy. "What did you feel when you shot the guy?”

"Nothing," Natasha's face was void of all emotion. "I felt nothing when I shot him.”

"Why?" I couldn't stop myself asking it. Natasha was always honest with me, almost to the point of brutal somedays. I had never seen the emotion switch off in her though. For the first time I'd known her I was staring at Black Widow. Gone was playful and flirty Nat that I mostly saw.

"Did you read my file on how the Red Room trained us?" Natasha's cold gaze flicked back towards her target.

“No."

"You should," Natasha said flatly. "Because then you'd understand.”

"I don't want to read your file to understand, I want my friend to tell me," I said cautiously. I didn't know how to deal with this side of Natasha. "I felt like I was invading your privacy so I glossed over most of it.”

Natasha didn't say anything to that. It felt like the silence stretched on forever. I fiddled with the string of my bow waiting for her to talk first.

"Its how they trained us," Natasha sighed quietly when she finally spoke. "To be emotionless. It makes everything easier. Truth is Kari, I saw the guy had Clint lined up and I did what I would always do. Tell me, if you had to choose between Barton and I living who would you choose?”

"I couldn't make that decision Nat," I studied her carefully trying to get a gauge on where this conversation was going.

"But if you had to," Natasha pushed. "Who would you choose?”

I couldn't think of what to say. Natasha said it so easily like she'd asked me to choose my favourite flavour of ice cream. But the first name that popped into my head wasn't hers. It made me feel extremely guilty. I couldn't tell my best friend that I could choose my other best friend over her. It was cold and cruel. The words wouldn't even form in my throat as I stared at her trying to get a grip on how this conversation had taken such a wild turn.

"You pick Barton," Natasha said after a few moments of silence from me. "Don't ever hesitate on that. You promise me that you'll pick him above me. It's the only way I will ever repay my debt to him.”

"Nat," I started but she cut me off with a hard look. I swallowed back the words that were about to tumble from my mouth. I was going to tell her I couldn't ever choose. That it was stupid the even be talking about this. But she would see right through my lie.

"Promise me Kari," Natasha persisted. Her face softened slightly as she looked away again. "Out of all of us he has the most to lose. I made my peace with death a long time ago. The world could be falling apart but I will always bargain for his safety. And yours.”

Her last added sentence was said very quietly. Almost like a whispered confession.

"I don't want anyone to die for me," I shook my head. "What makes my life more important that yours?”

“Jared."

It was so simple. That one name. The other half of me that could never be replaced. The only person who could feel my pain, my thoughts and emotions. We might not be as close as we were as kids but a twins bond could never be broken. To me Jared was my soul mate. He completed me on another level that no one else would understand.

"I was with him when shit went down at the bar with you," Natasha absently twirled one of her curls around her index finger. "Jared felt it. That moment of sheer terror when that fucking idiot tried to grab you. It rattled me. I don't even want to think what would happen if he lost you Kari.”

Another thing I hadn't been told. I worked with spies and assassins. Why should I even be surprised shit was still being held back from me?

"So even then I promised myself I would look out for you, long before the thought of you joining us was even put into plan," Natasha looked over to me with the smallest of smiles finally pulling onto her lips. "That cold hearted assassin from the Red Room may still be lingering there but only when the things I love are threatened. I will never be able to repay Clint for not only giving me a second chance, but giving me a family and a life I thought would only exist in a dream. My little family here means every to me and no one fucks with my family.”

I had no idea I meant so much to Natasha. I'd seen many sides of her in the short time we knew each other. But I'd never seen this deep well of emotions she kept hidden away. It made me realise even more how grateful I was for everything both her and Clint had done for me. I could have very easily been assigned to a random team and be lost in the system for the next year and hating every second. But I was loving this job nearly as much as I was while I was in the Air Force. It wasn't hard seeing myself staying on after my compulsory year. Something dramatic would have to change all of that.

"Just remember no matter what happens I'll always have your back," Natasha wasn't letting me get a word in. "And promise me you'll always have Clint's as well. The kids can live without their Aunty Nat. But it'd destroy them to not have their Dad.”

"I promise," it felt so inadequate to say that after all Natasha had just said to me. Just 2 words with a lot of weight behind them for one person. It was a terrifying thing. The world could be hanging in the balance and Natasha would bargain for one mans life. Knowing she would do it only made me realise I would too. This strange little mix of people we were made us closer than I ever realised.

"Good," Natasha finished reloading her Glock. "Now lets make Barton angry by shooting smiley faces on his targets.”

Like that the heavy mood was gone. I was all for annoying the shit out of Clint by making a mess of his targets. There was so little I could tease and torment him about. I'd jump at any chance to do either of them. I put my bow down in favour and went for the P30 instead. There was something very therapeutic about pulling the trigger and watch different colours splatter over the target. The paintball rounds make a bigger mess, but chalk rounds were just as fun. Like Natasha had suggested we both started to shoot making big smiling faces all over the archery targets. An hour and a half passed with no sign of Clint. We'd gotten through half the box of rounds and made a mess of the majority of the archery targets. Our fun was only spoilt by Coulson coming onto the range.

"We're busted," Natasha guiltily looked towards the chalked targets. "So busted.”

"Morning Sir," I said brightly as Coulson came into earshot. "What brings you out here?”

I was hoping a bit of charm might make him go easy on us. After all he'd have to deal with the consequences of what we had just done.

Coulson looked at the targets and then back to both of us. He just shook his head but smiled in amusement.

"I may or may not be coming to see what you two are up to," Coulson looked nearly as guilty as Natasha and I a second ago. "And I may or may not be avoiding anywhere that Hill might find me and lump me with the rookie Specialist's duty no one wants to take responsibility for.”

Natasha simply pulled her spare Glock from the holster and handed it over to our handler. He took it without hesitation and started to make a mess of the targets without waiting for us. I'd never seen Coulson shoot before, but it was no surprise he had amazing accuracy. I'd only gone through another magazine before I heard Clint's voice ring out across the range.

"Seriously guys. WHAT THE FUCK?”

"Natasha did it!" I was quick to dob my partner in crime in. After all it had been her idea to do this.

Natasha was quick to pay me back for my disloyalty. It didn't click in my head until a second too late as I saw her drop her Glock and point it at me. There was no dodging this. I just closed my eyes and waited for the inevitable world of pain I was about to be in.

When the round hit me it didn't hurt for the first second. The pain hit me another second later, enough to make me drop to the ground clutching my leg. I managed to bite my lip hard enough to stop the indignant yelp from escaping. The few tears snuck through as I sat on the ground clutching my thigh while Natasha laughed a little too hysterically for my liking. At least Coulson was trying to cover his laughter up. He wasn't doing a very good job at it. I scowled at both of them through my tears.

Another lesson learnt. Chalk rounds still hurt like a motherfucker. Especially when shot at point blank range. Bruise wasn't even going to adequately describe what my thigh was going to look like tomorrow.

"I'm sorry," Natasha didn't sound too sorry at all as she offered me her hand to help me up. "That was far too good of an opportunity to pass up.”

"You're lucky I love you," I grumbled but took her offered hand. She pulled me back to my feet and I gingerly put some weight on my shot leg. It hurt like hell but was slowly fading to a dull throb instead of the intense pain. By the time I was back on my feet Clint had finished his angry stomp over to us. He was looking very unamused. Even Coulson had very quickly and discreetly tucked his own weapon away. Natasha and I were both saved from Clint's angry tirade by Coulson's phone ringing.

"Dead, both of you," Clint growled at Natasha and I while Coulson answered his phone. "Dead on so many levels.”

I simply pointed at Natasha and then quickly jumped behind Clint for cover. He might be pissed that we'd made a mess of his targets. But at least he wasn't armed. I wasn't getting shot again, my leg was still aching from it.

"Kari," Coulson's voice made all of us look towards him. He'd walked away a few steps, obviously waiting for the inevitable explosion to happen from Clint. "STRIKE Team Bravo need an extraction. Want it?”

I peered over Clint's shoulder, nodding eagerly. Coulson gave me a knowing smirk as he turned back to his phone conversation. Of course I was going to say yes. It was silly of him to even ask. For someone who'd asked if Riley and I working together would be a problem on our first mission he certainly wasn't discouraging any interaction with us in the workplace.

"I'm coming too," Clint crossed his arms sounding grouchy. But less pissed off than before. "And you're letting me takeoff for payment of messing up my targets.”

"You're no fun," I gave Clint a shove from behind. The only movement I got from him was a small jerk of his shoulders. "But yes, I will let you fly even if this wasn't my idea.”

"Fine I'll stay here by myself," Natasha exaggerated a heavy sigh. "I might go find some paintball rounds instead.”

She slowly inched away with every word that came from her mouth. She watched Clint carefully as her muscles tensed. She was poised on the balls of her feet, smirk on her face just waiting for the reaction from Clint. He didn't disappoint either. As the d fell from her lips Clint pounced after her. Natasha bolted, her feet skidding along the wet grass as she scrambled for a grip. In the half second of loss of traction Clint grabbed her, throwing her up easily over his shoulder. Natasha didn't even struggle, she just laughed as he walked off in long strides.

"You and I are going to find a really nice muddy patch Romanoff," gone was the grumpiness from Clint's voice as he walked away. "And I'm going to save you a fortune on those mud facials you like so much.”

"I suggest you make a run for it as well," Coulson put his hand over his phone briefly. "Otherwise you'll need a shower before you do that extraction.”

I didn't need to be told twice. Weapons forgotten I ran from the archery field. I'd nearly made it clear when a very loud shriek came from the opposite side. It seems Clint found that muddy spot for Natasha.

STRIKE Team Bravo had been sent to Panaca, Nevada. The only details Clint and I were given were the coordinates to land about 5 miles out of town. I had no idea what they'd been doing or why they were sent to the middle of nowhere. It was a 2 hour flight at the speed we got cleared at so Clint had plenty of time to practice. As promised I even let him take off, which he did without any issues. Like everything he paid attention to every minor detail. Nothing got past him so it was no surprise how quickly he'd picked this up. He refused to give me the controls and wouldn't use autopilot either. So my entire flight was spent just talking to him with my feet up on the control panel. If he kept stealing my flying time I was going to make him start doing some more of the boring flights I had rostered on later in the week. Whether I'd actually get to them was another story. My life seemed to be interrupted by a mission just as things were starting to smooth out.

I'd sent Riley a message just as we'd left the Triskelion but had no response. Either his phone was still in his locker, or there was no reception. Judging by tiny blip of a town on a map my guess was the latter. I was hoping me being the one to pick his team up would be a nice surprise for him.

I finally got the controls off Clint as we went to land. He pouted the entire time as I smoothly put the Quinjet down but I wasn't letting him have all the fun.

"I'm flying at least part of the way home," I tried to scowl at his pout but I laughed instead. "I love my flying time too you know.”

"Yeah but," Clint didn't have much else to say as he lifted his shoulders in a sheepish shrug. "Its fun and you actually let me do stuff without breathing down my neck.”

"That's because you aren't incompetent," the Quinjet landed with a gentle thump. "And you look so damn proud of yourself that you can do it.”

"That I am," Clint chuckled briefly. "I guess I had a good teacher.”

"A good teacher still needs a good listener for a student," I flashed him a quick grin. "Now be a good boy and go make sure no one shots us when the ramp goes down.”

As usual Clint had a bow and quiver with him. I'd heard Laura refer to it as his 'other wife' which was quite fitting. I think Clint spent more time with his bow than he did his actual wife though.

"I think you just like me calling you Ma'am," Clint joked but got up anyway, walking towards the ramp. As soon as he was there I opened it, scanning the external cameras for any sign of trouble.

"And the salute, don't forget the salute," I turned the chair around so I could face the back. "I used to walk past guys in uniform just so they could salute me. Kinda turns me on.”

"That doesn't surprise me in the least," Clint notched an arrow and looked causal standing at the open ramp.  
To my surprise it was only Riley, Evans and Sam who walked onto the plane. Though my surprise was nothing compared to the look on Riley's face when he saw me. He even did a double take at me sitting in the pilot seat with a smug grin on my face. He looked exhausted, he'd barely noticed Clint standing on the ramp. His CheyTac was slung over his shoulder. Sam and Evans were both only lightly armed. This would be an interesting story on what had happened on the mission. If Riley was allowed to talk about it.

"Heard you boys needed a lift," I couldn't wipe the grin off my face.

Behind Riley and Sam, Evans was looking just as smug as I felt. Now I knew who'd called Coulson for the pick up. For someone who'd kept us apart on our last course it was a small shock that he'd actually go out of his way to get me for the extraction.

"And most guys can't even get their girlfriend to pick them up after a drinking night," Sam was the first one to flop himself down into a seat. "Here Riley gets his girlfriend picking him up off missions.”

"Jealous as we Sam?" I turned back to face the front. Clint had closed the ramp and was walking back to the co-pilot seat. He had a small exchange with the three in the back before strapping himself in. Once they were all seated I got us in the air and with a gentle sweeping turn we were heading back to DC.

In the brief time it had taken to get us in the air both Riley and Evans were fast asleep. Sam was moving around quietly packing the weapons up. It wasn't long before he came up and lent on my chair.

"So we're having a barbecue night at Evans on Friday," Sam was straight to the point as always. "Riley said he wasn't coming unless you were, so you better come because I'm feeling very neglected by my best friend.”

"Are your feelings a bit broken there Sam?" I teased him. Clint snorted in amusement before looking at me pleadingly again. I sighed, knowing Sam probably wanted to talk more so I got up and handed the controls back to Clint. 5 minutes of flying and Clint already wanted it back. I think I'd created a monster.

Sam stood at the back of the chair fidgeting until we'd rearranged ourselves. Instead of sitting back down in the co-pilot seat I went for one of the seats in the back closest to the cockpit. Not that Clint would need me, the control freak in me just wasn't letting myself stray too far.

"Rough mission?" I asked nodding my head towards the 2 sleeping agents. Evans was snoring very quietly. Riley was just completely passed out. His hair was sticking out everywhere and even from a distance I could see the sweat coming off him.

"Just long," Sam screwed his face up for a second. "So coming or not Friday? It's a bit of a team tradition once a month.”

"Sure, as long as I'm not barging in without an invitation," I felt awkward about this already. A social situation where I didn't know that many people wasn't high on my list of fun things to do. I didn't want to be hanging off Riley the entire night. But I didn't want to spend it in a corner by myself either.

"It's always a plus one," Sam just shrugged. "And since you two are attached at the hip at the moment I won't get Riley there without you.”

There was a bit of a bite to his tone that made me frown. Sam pushed his own messy light brown hair out of his face. He looked just as tired as Riley did before. He was obviously pushing himself to stay awake to talk to me. He kept blinking more than usual and was absently rubbing his face as if to keep himself away.

"He's a big boy he can go without my permission," I tried to be tactful. I didn't know why Sam would be upset with me. I wasn't forcing Riley to spend all his time with me. He could make his own decisions and do what he wanted without me.

"Why are you with him?" Sam blurted out. That question even made Clint glance back towards me. I gave him a small shake of my head, hoping he'd get the hint and not intervene. It seems I was about to get the best friend talk.

"Because he's funny, smart, likes me and my terrible sense of humour," I started my frown getting even deeper. "Not that it's really any of your business Sam. But I happen to really like Riley and I'm still surprised as hell that he likes me back.”

Sam looked taken back at my own snappy tone. It didn't stop him though.

"Did he tell you about Sarah?”

I shook my head. I had no idea what he was talking about.

"His bitch of an ex girlfriend," Sam elaborated. "They were together for ages just after he joined SHIELD."  
I shrugged. I hadn't asked and Riley hadn't told me anything about her except ages ago that she didn't like him being away all the time. He'd never brought her up again, or even given her name.

"She was fond of not working, spending all his money and sleeping around while we were away," Sam continued. "When Riley found out he was heartbroken and she left him. Then he kept going back to her when it was convenient for her and she'd string him along again. It really fucked him with him and he finally called it quits about 10 months ago when she got pregnant to someone else.”

"He's never mentioned her to me," I started but Sam cut me off.

"I am not letting him go through that shit again," the fierce protectiveness in Sam's voice made me snap my mouth shit with an audible click. "If you hurt him, or use him in anyway, even Romanoff and Barton won't be able to protect you.”

This was something I wasn't prepared for. Now I knew about it I knew I wasn't going to be able to help myself and ask Riley about it now. He was either going to kill Sam. Or be very unhappy with me about bringing it up. It was obviously still an open wound if Sam was getting this worked up about it.

"Fuck me Sam," I let out a shaky breath. "I'm not going to hurt him. Or use him. If you haven't noticed we work the same job so why would you even think I was going after him for anything else besides the fact I really like him?”

What was it with today and being roped into his serious conversations? It was a Monday. It was way too early in the week for so much emotional drama.

I glanced back to Clint. I knew he could hear every word and he was watching both of us carefully in the reflection of the windscreen. He looked ready to jump out of the seat if the situation got out of hand.  
Sam looked at me strangely for a second before the look wiped off his face. There was something he nearly slipped out with telling me but he managed to keep his mouth shut. I raised both eyebrows at him. What the hell was it that I wasn't being told about?

"Wow, so not my place to say," all of a sudden serious Sam was gone and replaced back with the normal smart ass he was. "You really do like him don't you?”

“Duh."

Even Clint couldn't cover his own snort of amusement. Sam didn't pay him any attention. He was just watching me carefully before his face split into a grin.

"Rangers are playing the Capitals in a few weeks, wanna come to the game?”

The change of topic was so abrupt my head spun trying to process it. There was so much more to this story and now I was going to be determined to find out. I wanted to smack Sam in the head for him thinking the worst of me. I also wanted to hug him for being such a good best friend and looking out for Riley. Instead I just half smiled.

“Sure."

"Got any cute single friends that you can bring and we can make it a double date?" Sam's face was hopeful. It made my half smile stretch into a full one.

"Only Romanoff.”

The look Sam gave me told me everything I needed to know. That was a definite NO.


	21. Chapter 21

I had planned on talking to Riley that night. But as soon as we got back to base I got slapped with another extraction. By the time I'd gotten back from that it was late and Riley had only briefly woken up when I came in. I was so tired I just crawled into bed beside him, still dressed in my work clothes. I'd nearly slept through my alarm and only had 5 minutes to get ready before work the next day. I didn't know it then but it became a pattern every morning after that.

We barely saw each other for the entire week. It was strange after me having a week off and spending nearly all of our time together. I'd logged so many flying hours even Clint had declined joining me on some of the flights. My feelings of needing my hand held very quickly disappeared. I felt like I'd suddenly become to taxi for all of Operations. I was flying STRIKE teams and Specialists everywhere. I'd even learnt SHIELD had a division called Special Service which I had no idea what they actually did. I'd been too tired to remember to ask Clint or Natasha about it during our morning work outs. Riley had begun to call my Quinjet my other boyfriend as a joke. I didn't blame him though. I spent more time in it this entire week that I had my last few months in SHIELD.

It was Friday evening and I was flying as fast as I dared to so I'd get back in time to head to the BBQ at Evans place. I'd been lumped with a supply drop to an Alaska base and I was by myself. Clint something on in the afternoon so he wouldn't be back in time if he joined me. I tried to get Natasha to come with me for company but she had a meeting with Hill for something later in the day. I'd been painfully boring and the only thing I had to keep me amused was my phone. Next time I was going to bring my laptop and some DVD's to pass the time. I was going to be late for the BBQ so I told Riley I'd just meet him there.

By the time I landed back at the Triskelion it was 2030. The Quinjet had just powered down before I bolted out of it and straight to the locker room. I got changed out of my flight suit and into a casual jeans and sweater outfit. The locker room was completely deserted so I stripped off and changed at my locker hoping no one would walk in. I was on my Kawasaki and zooming down the long stretch of highway away from the Triskelion in 10 minutes.

Evans lived further out than I'd been before in DC. Even without any traffic it still took me 30 minutes to get there. I was starving by the time I pulled up in behind one of the many parked cars out the front. I sat on my bike sending Riley a message to let him know I was here. Even though I could hear the crowd from out here on the street, I didn't feel right just letting myself in. The front door opened and I climbed off my bike, tucking my helmet under my arm.

"Everyone is out back, come in Kari," a feminine voice called out from the door. "Riley has his hands full."

Right, people who I didn't know but knew a lot about me. I had already caused a stir not only joining SHIELD, but making it onto STRIKE Team Delta. It seemed nearly everyone knew me, or of me. I didn't have to introduce myself to any teams that I had picked up this week. Everyone knew me already. This is how Jared must feel all the time. Now walking into a social situation with Riley's team who I barely knew was going to be more than interesting. Especially if everyones partners had come along as well.

Trying to ignore my nerves I weaved through the cars and onto the brightly lit front porch to the mystery woman. She was dressed a lot nicer than my grungy USAF sweater and jeans, only making me feel really out of place already. Her smile was welcoming enough though.

"Nice to finally meet you, I'm Abby," she breezed along in conversation without any hesitation. "Come in, the food has only just gone out. Hope you're hungry."

"Always," I couldn't think of much else to say. I was glad she didn't make a move to hug me or anything else. I was becoming more like Natasha every single day. I began not liking people touching me that I didn't know. Abby just turned and walked back into the house, me tagging along a few steps behind. She didn't need to introduce herself as Evans wife. The long hallway lined with pictures was enough to give that away if I hadn't already put the clues together.

"Bathroom is that way," Abby paused for half a second to point towards her left. "If you see one of the boys walking out of there without putting the seat down smack them over the head. You're lucky you can actually reach the back of their heads."

I laughed at that. She was a tiny woman, probably just 5 foot. She wore impressive heels that I would never be able to walk in if my life depended on it to give her extra height.

"Troy insists this place is a second home to the team, so by extension you can treat it like that too," Abby continued. There's something I didn't know, Evans first name was Troy. You learn something new everyday.

"Theres beer in the cooler, I don't think you'd be a wine type of girl," Abby shot me a quick smile over her shoulder as we stepped out onto the back deck. "Make yourself at home, I think Riley is over there."

Abby pointed towards the back corner of the deck. She was right, Riley was there talking to one of the guys who's name I couldn't remember. Riley was side on to me, half in the darkness of the night.

"Thanks Abby," I barely got the words out before she disappeared. Even if I wasn't nervous I had a feeling she was the type of person where it'd be near impossible to get a word in. I skirted along the edges of the group trying to ignore the stares I was getting from nearly every single female there on the back porch. Guys from the team greeted me as I walked past but I didn't stop to chat. A few kids were running around playing, I narrowly avoided being run over my one small hoard of them. Riley didn't see me so I walked up beside him and snagged the beer bottle hanging from his hand. He jumped in surprise, whirling around to face me.

"Sneaky," Riley laughed. "Hi."

I found myself a bit lost for words as I saw what was in his other hand. Or more accurately asleep on his shoulder, cradled close to his body. The baby was only just visible, wrapped up in a few layers of blankets in the cold night air. After the initial surprise I smiled at the very adorable sight of Riley cuddling the baby. He was still gently bouncing, what I assumed to be her, judging by the pink beanie on her head.

"Something you want to tell me?" I joked stepping in to give Riley a brief kiss. The teammate he'd been talking to just nodded at me and left us by ourselves in the corner.

"Alexi," Riley smiled. "She's Evan's daughter. Well my god daughter too."

I had no idea Riley was actually that close to Evans for him to be named her god father. Riley rarely spoke about work at home, let alone anything else in his life. It was times like this I realised how little I really knew about him still. We could have a conversation for hours and Riley never spoke about himself.

"She smiled and held her hands out for me as soon as I walked in," Riley looked a little sheepish, "I can't say no to her. And I'm not game enough to put her down because she can be a little hell raiser when she doesn't want to sleep."

"Not gonna lie, you look pretty adorable," I grinned at him. "How old is she?"

"7 months, she was born early so she's pretty tiny," Riley shifted Alexi slightly making her stir. She lifted her head, yawned and went straight back to sleep. "Want a hold?"

"No I'm enjoying watching a few of the ladies looking like their ovaries are going to explode from the cuteness," I quickly covered my discomfort at the thought of holding such a tiny baby by being smart. It wasn't a lie though. A few of the ladies kept glancing over towards Riley either smiling, or right now throwing me envious looks.

"Yeah a few guys forgot to mention to their partners that I have a girlfriend now so they can stop bringing along all of their single friends," Riley looked a little embarrassed admitting that to me. "Broke a few hearts, or so they say."

"Too bad for them," I reached over and gave Riley another kiss. This time I lingered against his lips. "You're all mine."

"Come and eat before it gets cold," Abby's voice carried out over the back porch. We broke apart both looking guilty. The movement was enough to disturb Alexi, who lifted herself off Riley's shoulder, face screwed up like she was about to cry. If she started crying I was abandoning Riley and leaving the screaming infant all for him.

"No, no, no don't do that," Riley chuckled quietly giving her a few gentle bounces. "Come on, go back to sleep for Uncle Riley."

Alexi squirmed in Riley's grasp until she was able to turn around a little bit. Riley sighed and adjusted her so she was now sitting on his hip. Alexi turned to look at me with the biggest pair of blue eyes I had ever seen. To my surprise, and slight horror she smiled at me and reached her arms out.

"She likes you," Riley looked surprised, but shot me a beaming smile. "Alright go to Aunty Kari."

"No, I'm fine, I don't hold babies," I rambled trying to back away. But it was too late. As soon as Riley held Alexi out to me she grabbed my fingers on my hands that were held up. She grinned even more and let out a cross between a gurgle and a giggle.

"I'll break her," I was being a bit irrational looking down at the tiny baby. She really was tiny under all those blankets. I felt like I'd crush her by accident if I did something wrong. Alexi squeezed my fingers tighter and tried to pull herself onto just my hands.

"You won't break her," Riley tried to assure me but he was laughing. "Go on, she normally doesn't like anyone else. Just hold her for a little bit."

I relented, putting the beer bottle on the table. I looked to Riley for help.

"Just take her in your arms," Riley was still laughing at me, "And kind of sit her on your hip. That's where she likes to be."

I did as I was instructed, staring down at the tiny person peering up at me now on my hip. She smiled and reached out, grabbing a handful of hair and giving it a yank.

"Ow," I tried to gently pry it from her fingers. "Little monster, I just let you come over here and I'm terrified of small children. Play nice."

As if she understood my words Alexi let go of my hair, shoving her fist in her mouth instead. She was still staring up at me looking completed fascinated.

"Terrified of small children?" Riley asked playfully as he snagged the beer bottle up again.

"Yes they drool, vomit and poo at a moment's notice," I pulled a face. "I have a million and one cousins which I actively avoid until they can control their body functions. Even then I used to tie them to a tree if I had to babysit for any long periods of time."

Alexi yawned again before snuggling into the crook of my arm. Her eyelids dropped and within seconds she was asleep again.

"She really likes you," Riley grinned at me. "Normally if someone else holds her she screams and makes a fuss. Besides me, she won't go to sleep for anyone else except Abby. Drives Evans nuts. Just kind of hike her up over your shoulder if she gets too uncomfortable. Lets eat, I'm starving."

I didn't have much choice but to sit down with Alexi fast asleep on me. It was a challenge to eat one handed but after not eating all day, I found a way to shovel as much food into my mouth as possible. Riley even cut the steak into manageable pieces for me so I didn't look like a carnivore eating its prey. Riley downed a few beers over dinner, enough to make me assume he definitely wasn't driving home. I was too tired to drink much. If I did I'd be like Alexi, fast asleep on someones shoulder with no noise waking me up. Despite my unease of being in a crowd with no one I knew that well, the conversation flowed around the dinner table. It wasn't hard to be drawn into it and soon I was laughing along with everyone else. Curiosity got the better of a few of the partners and I found myself talking about my brief time in SHIELD. Telling the story about Natasha shooting me with a chalk round earlier in the week was a hit. Even more so when I admitted what Clint had done to Natasha afterwards for payback.

STRIKE Team Bravo were like one big family. It surprised me to see the majority of them married, and a few with kids. The joke about Operations having the highest rate of single people definitely didn't apply here. Only 5 of the guys, Sam included, were single.

When dessert was cleared Abby came up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder.

"She can go to bed if you're done being cute and giving her cuddles," Abby winked at me. "I'll show you to her room."

Riley got up and pulled my chair out for me. He went to take Alexi off me by Abby batted his hands down.

"Sit," Abby scolded him lightly. "And get your girlfriend another beer for when she gets back."

There was no arguing with Abby. Riley simply held his hands up in defeat. She walked into the house, me behind her yet again, following her up the stairs this time.

"So," Abby turned to looked at me with a small smirk as we climbed the stairs. "How serious is it with you and Riley?"

"We've only just started dating," I laughed to try and cover my nerves. Fuck me was I about to get another lecture on hurting Riley's feelings? I hoped not. One shovel talk was enough for me. "But I'm pretty smitten to be honest."

"So is he," Abby laughed with me. "The look he kept giving you at dinner made me think he wants to take you home and try for your own babies."

"Oh fuck no," I shook my head rapidly. "It's way too early for that."

"Doesn't mean he wasn't thinking it," Abby teased lightly. We reached the top of the stairs and walked to the room straight in front of us. A golden star hung on the door with Alexi's name on it. Her room was stuffed full of toys and various baby things. It wasn't hard to tell she was spoilt rotten. I had a feeling Riley had contributed more than his fair share to the toy pile.

"How do I put her down?" I asked. I really didn't want to wake her up or do the wrong thing.

"Just lay her down on her back," Abby pointed to the crib. "She's pretty passed out, I doubt she'll wake up."

I gently lifted Alexi off my shoulder and placed her down as carefully as I could without disturbing her. She only stirred for a brief second, looking up at me with a smile before falling asleep. I couldn't help but smile back. She was kind of cute how she always smiled at me.

"My little miracle," Abby sighed gently. "Still hard to believe she's here. Did Riley tell you about her?"

"Riley doesn't tell me much about himself, I didn't even know she was his god daughter until tonight," I sighed as well, but mine was in frustration. He was so open, but closed off at the same time. Even playing that silly game of 20 questions didn't give me much of an insight into who he really was.

"Don't be frustrated with him," Abby looked away from her daughter and back to me. "He's shy, been burnt pretty badly in the past. The fact you two are dating is a massive step for him. You have no idea what an amazing guy you have there."

I couldn't think of anything to say to Abby. I knew Riley was shy. It'd come up a few times, mostly from Rumlow teasing me about Riley actually talking to me before we dated. But I hadn't noticed it was shyness keeping him closed off fro me. More like he was guarding himself a little, trying not to fall in too deep too quickly. It'd make sense on why he tried to hold off on sleeping together so early.

"It took us 7 years of trying, so many rounds of IVF that I lost count to conceive Alexi," Abby continued with a small smile. "Troy and I had pretty much given up all hope of ever having a family."

My parents had the same problem. Jared and I were the result of many rounds of IVF. Unlike the rest of our family who seemed to breed like rabbits, my parents had all the trouble in the world having us.

"I was about 6 months pregnant and the guys were called away on a mission," Abby looked back down to her sleeping daughter. "Riley had failed his psych assessment so he was the only one around. Troy asked him to keep an eye on me because I was a pretty high risk pregnancy. So Riley basically spent all his free time here making sure I was staying off my feet, running me to doctors appointments and everything else. He and Sarah had just split up for good this time so instead of moping he did everything he could to make my life comfortable."

My heart did a little flip flop at how amazing Riley really was. I still didn't know the full story of what happened between him and his ex. But if it was bad enough for him to fail a psych assessment I wasn't too sure I'd want to go digging. It wasn't going to be pretty and I didn't want to drag those memories back up for him.

"I had a massive craving for burritos," Abby laughed quietly. "So he went out to get me some for dinner. By the time he got back I was on the bathroom floor in pool of blood due to placenta abruption and premature labour."

Fuck me. No wonder Alexi was so tiny. Even in my limited experience I knew that was scarily early for a baby.

"He didn't panic, just called for an ambulance, rang my doctors and held me while we waited," Abby looked lost in the memory, "I don't remember the ambulance getting here. The doctor's said I'd nearly bled out before I got to hospital. I developed a lot of complications, was unconscious for a few days. Troy and the team were off grid so it was just Riley there. When I woke up, he hadn't been home for days. Took turns sleeping beside Alexi and I. It was pretty hard to explain to the doctors that he wasn't actually my husband. They all just assumed he was. I must have looked like quite the cougar."

I chuckled at the last part. Abby looked like she was in her late 30's.

"Troy didn't get home until a week later, even then I think Riley had been home once," Abby smiled again. "He didn't want to let either of us our of his sight until he knew Troy was there. I didn't know until we finally got her home that Riley had forced the doctor's to keep working on Alexi even when they wanted to stop. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't have my complete little family. He's such a quiet hero. He didn't even want to be fussed over when we made him her god father. You have no idea how happy we both are for him that he's found someone."

"I had no idea of any of this," I was blown away by the story. I didn't doubt a word of it. But it made me even more nervous than I was going to fuck this relationship up. I still had my moments of self doubt about this working. Especially after spending the last week at work so much. I could never be as selfless as that.

"And he'd never tell you either because he wouldn't want you to make a big deal out of it," Abby shrugged. "I'm telling you because that boy is a gem, he deserves to be treasured. You make a good pair. Even Troy had commented he hasn't seen him this happy in a long time. He might tease you two and try and keep you apart at work as a joke, but he's only being a tormenting shit. It's nothing serious."

His reaction the other day when I was the one doing their extraction made sense. I wouldn't be surprised if Evans had rung Coulson directly and done it as a favour to Riley.

"Sam gave me the if I hurt him there won't be a corner of the universe I can hide talk the other day when I picked them up," my lips quirked up at the memory. "I know it hasn't been long but I can't see myself without him. I never have this, the perfect job, perfect boyfriend. I'm a bit worried I'll wake up and it'll all be a dream."

"You two are so perfect for each other," Abby laughed. "Come on we better get back downstairs before someone comes looking for us."

To my surprise Abby reached over and gave me a quick hug.

"I mean it that you're welcome to treat here like a second home," Abby pulled away with a wide smile on her face. "And now I have another babysitter."

"I used to tie my cousins to a tree if I had to babysit," I quickly pointed out so I wouldn't get roped into this alone. "I'm not really trustworthy enough to leave kids with."

"Good thing she loves her Uncle Riley then," Abby laughed again. "Lets get back downstairs. It's about that time of night when the bourbon gets dragged out."

Bourbon and I weren't friends. It's what I got smashed on for my 21st party. I was definitely just sticking to beer for the rest of the night.

The bourbon did come out by the time I got back downstairs. It was well after midnight when everyone started to filter out. I'd ended up sitting across Riley's lap at one point and hadn't moved. I was more than comfortable lounging on him with his arms wrapped around me protectively. He'd quite happily gotten into the bourbon and was fairly tipsy.

"I think I'm done for the night," I finally gave up trying to stay awake. I was pretty exhausted and after the 2 beers I'd be nursing all night I was ready for bed.

"I'm impressed you stayed up this long," Riley pressed a kiss against the side of my head. "I'll call a cab?"

"My bike is still here," I pointed out.

"So is my car," Riley just shrugged as he picked up his phone off the table. As he unlocked it I spied his lock screen photo. It was a photo of Riley and I both smiling at the camera. I had no idea who had taken it, or where, but it was a really nice photo of both of us.

"Who took that?" I couldn't hold back my curiosity as I pointed as his phone. "If you trust me to drive your car I can just drive back to your place and we can pick my bike up tomorrow."

"I think it was that night we got smashed off tequila," Riley tapped his phone again smiling down at the picture. "It was on there when I was flicking through my photos trying to find something. You going to be okay to drive home? I trust you with my life in a jet, I'm sure I can handle you driving my car for 20 minutes."

"It's 20 minutes, I can stop and get a Red Bull from somewhere if I get desperate," I was tired but I wasn't so tired that I couldn't handle a 20 minute drive.

We made our goodbyes to the few people that were left. Riley quietly went back upstairs to give Alexi a goodbye kiss. It was adorable how much he really loved his god daughter. He was quick and we were in the car and driving off, with the GPS giving me quiet directions. Riley's car was really nice to drive. I couldn't help but give the BMW a little more gas than necessary as we went down the suburban street. Riley had taken a beer for the road and he was drinking it in silence as I drove.

"You know the other day when you brought up the whole pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen thing?" Riley said suddenly as he turned in his seat to face me. He tucked one of his legs up under himself so he could fully face me.

"I was only being stupid," I gave him a small smile. He was looking fairly well drunk now, the last beer mixed with bourbon just topping him of.

"I really want to get married and have kids, I always had it planned out. Boy and a girl," Riley gave me a lopsided smile. "Big white wedding, all that shit. Aren't the girls the ones meant to dream of that stuff? Did you ever think about it?"

"Are you going to remember this in the morning?" I chuckled under my breath at him. Drunken confessions could always be fun. I'd never seen Riley drunk either so this was new for me.

"Yes but my filter doesn't work especially after bourbon so if you want to know anything ask me now," Riley's lopsided smile turned into a mischievous grin. "No limits."

"Honestly I never thought about that," I wasn't going to ask him anything he normally wouldn't feel comfortable talking about sober. It wasn't fair to do that to him. "I was always so just fixated on being a pilot. I never took the time to think of anything beyond that."

"I had it all planned out," Riley let his head drop against the chair while still grinning at me. "Join the Navy, become a SEAL. Didn't ever expect to make SEAL Team 6 and become the leading sniper in the Navy."

I pulled my attention from the road, raising both my eyebrows at him. Now that had never come up in conversation before. I'd never thought to ask what SEAL team Riley was. Again there was just so much I didn't know about him. I didn't say anything else, I just let him continue in his drunken ramble.

"Make Lieutenant, settle down and find a nice girl, have a family," Riley started to play with the label on his empty Heineken bottle. "Never expected SHIELD to come knocking on my door after my third tour in the Middle East. Fuck I didn't even know what SHIELD was to be honest."

"Lucky you," I said dryly. "All I ever heard about was SHIELD when I was growing up. So what did you actually do to make SHIELD come knocking? Must have been pretty intense."

"It was pretty fucked up," Riley suddenly pursed his lips and looked away from me, intently playing with the label he'd half ripped off now. "We were storming a compound where an important Taliban figure was meant to be. Turned out to be an ambush and the team got pinned down in the building complex. Lots of civilians were trapped in there too, some were rigged with bomb vests if you got too close whoever was behind it would trigger it."

Riley started to rip up the label into smaller pieces. I looked at him with a small frown. So much for this excuse he'd told me earlier. Turns out there was a lot more to the story than some well placed head shots from a mile away.

"I was positioned on a roof about a block away. Building was a snipers delight. Lots of open windows and spaces, you could see through the building just through one window. While the guys on my team were pined down in there I was shooting everything I could. That included the civilians with bomb vests. Cleaned myself out of every bit of ammo I had but I never missed my targets. We got out of there, all alive. Team said it was because of me, but they all fought just as hard as I did."

It was a lot to process. It took me a minute to actually get everything straight in my head. No wonder SHIELD came knocking on his door.

"I got a Silver Star out of that mission," Riley threw the pieces the label he'd torn up in the air, laughing quietly as they floated down onto him. "And a phone call from someone who identified himself as Agent Coulson from the Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division offering me nearly triple my annual salary and probably triple the risk too. Nothing like essentially being paid to be an assassin."

"You said you loved your job," I said quietly not knowing how to respond to his rambling. I just wished he was this open with me when he was sober. It was strange to hear it'd been Coulson recruiting him.

"I do," Riley shot me a brief grin. "Half the work, more exciting missions. Do you know what I was doing in Panaca?"

I shook my head. Riley was a level 6. When he didn't go into details of his mission, or even speak about it I just assumed it was above my security level. But we never really discussed work either.

"Taking out a SHIELD threat. A pretty old one too," Riley said. "Apparently some old German scientist who'd made a pretty weak version of the Super Soldier serum they used back in World War 2. Kept him younger, but he thought he'd try and perfect it by snatching mutant kids and seeing what made them tick. Took SHIELD a lot of years to track him down. I was pretty happy to put a bullet through his head."

"Enhanced," I gently corrected Riley. "Not everyone likes the term mutant."

My correction was to cover my own discomfort as well. There was so much going on in the world that I had no clue about. Even from my own 2 missions it seemed like there were a lot of bad people in the world. You'd never hear about any of this in mainstream media. SHIELD kept its operations far too tightly locked up.

"When we get married and have kids will they have powers?" Riley changed the subject abruptly. He was staring at me intently. The way he asked the question made me jump. Holy shit where did that just come from? I drove us onto the wrong side of the road as I gaped at him.

"What's this when business?" I quickly corrected the car. "We haven't been dating that long."

I could feel my heart pounding my chest from that one sentence. Shit, what was I getting into here? I was crazy about Riley. But this was really muddy territory he'd just waded into. It'd been a month, barely a month and he was already thinking about that? Or was this just far too much bourbon speaking and he really wouldn't remember it in the morning?

"Well I'm falling head over heels in love with you," Riley just grinned at me. "I know its early days but I can't see myself with anyone else. So unless you cheat on me I'm in this for the long haul. My mouth is running away on me so bad isn't it?"

"Yes it is," that broke the tension immediately. "Have you seriously thought about all of this?"

Riley just nodded vigorously. He was watching me, waiting for an answer to his previous question.

"Possibly?" I pursed my lips trying to think of an explanation. "The gene generally comes from the Father, so it'd be a 50/50 chance."

"Why don't you use your powers more?" Riley pulled his other leg up so now he was sitting cross legged on the seat facing me. "Are you ashamed of them? I swear if I could do something like that I'd be using it all the time. Like Jared does."

"Jared's teleporting is pretty handy," I tried to avoid the question that I didn't really know the answer to myself. "I'm not ashamed of them. I just spent a long time never using them, so I don't feel the need to really use them."

"What can your parents do?"

After this question I was going to steer the conversation back towards Riley more. Even if it was because he as drunk I was enjoying him opening up about himself. The topics were far too heavy,but at least I was beginning to slowly chip away and know the man underneath the quiet exterior he put up around himself.

"Mom is an empath, she can sense emotions and to a degree manipulate them as well," I explained. "Dad can self replicate. It's kinda freaky to be honest. You walk into his workshop when he's busy and there's 5 copies of him all working away at various things."

"I wish I could sense emotions," Riley sighed quietly. "I'd give anything to know what goes on in that pretty head of yours sometimes."

"Likewise," I couldn't help that dry remark slip out. "I feel like I barely know you sometimes. You can talk for hours and never tell me anything about yourself."

"Sorry," Riley wrinkled his nose slightly. "Defence mechanism I've kind of built up. Blame my ex for that."

"So I heard from Sam," I couldn't help myself. From Sam's comments earlier in the week, to Abby's tonight, I really did want to know what happened between Riley and his ex. But I didn't want to hurt him by dragging it up.

"Did he threaten to shoot you if you broke my heart?" Riley didn't seem perturbed. He just shot me another panty dropping grin. "You know I got that talk not only from your brother, but Romanoff and Barton as well. The whole if I hurt you there won't be a corner of the universe I can hide in before they get their hands on me."

"That doesn't surprise me in the least," I laughed under my breath. "Yes, he did, and he also said that even Barton and Nat wouldn't be able to protect me if I did. I'm pretty crazy about you Riley. The last thing on my mind is hurting you. He also looked like he had a big secret he was about to spill but stopped himself at the last minute."

"My trust fund secret?" the words spewed out of Riley's mouth and he clapped his hand over it too late. His laugh was stifled behind his hand. "Shit."

I laughed with him. This conversation was bouncing all over the place, but this turn in it was at least funny.

"Riley you aren't the only one with a trust fund," I shook my head while still laughing. "My Grandparents own one of the biggest cattle ranches in the US. I just can't access mine until I'm 30."

It wasn't a ridiculous amount of money. But what I had sitting there was enough to buy a house later in life and make one or two sensible investments. Mom would never confirm it but I had a feeling that Grams paid for my expensive high school, the part my scholarship didn't cover anyway. They weren't extravagant with the money by any means. But it was nice to know if anything went drastically wrong I could get myself out of trouble.

"My Dad and his brother have a massive chicken production back home," Riley pulled his hand away from his mouth. "When Dad died part of his share of the company got signed over to me. I'm not gonna lie, it's a pretty healthy deposit in my bank account every month. I'm sorry for not telling you. Girls seem to like to take it as a challenge to see how much they can spend of it. You and I wrestle each other to see who can pay for dinner before the other does. It's really different for me to have someone so independent."

"Your bank account and what goes in it is none of my business," I shot Riley a quick smile. "Though I'm really bad at saving money so if it gets to the day before payday and I'm broke I may just ask you to buy me a packet of Ramen noodles so I don't starve."

"And this is why it's being very easy to fall for you," Riley laughed. He rested his head against the car seat watching me drive with a smile on his face. "I didn't think I'd ever be this happy again after Sarah. She fucked with my head so badly. You know what she did?"

"We don't have to talk about her," I said gently. Riley had steered the conversation right to where my curiosity was.

"I'm surprised Sam didn't fucking let his big mouth run off about it," Riley pushed himself back upright. "You know how I told you we were together for ages but she didn't like me being away all the time?"

I just nodded. It seemed Riley was going to talk to me about her whether I wanted to hear it or not.

"She'd fuck around while I was away," Riley pulled a face as if he was disgusted at the mere thought of it. "I stupidly told her how much money I actually had and it was like a sport to her to see how empty she could leave the bank account at the end of the month. But she was gorgeous, amazing in bed and I'd just come out of another relationship where she'd left me as well. So I thought if I just gave Sarah what she wanted that she wouldn't leave me either. We'd have massive arguments and she'd leave me. Then I'd always let her come back no matter what because I didn't want to be alone. I was pretty naive to think I could make it work. When she told me she was pregnant I thought it was mine. She didn't tell me otherwise. I was ready to propose to her and get the happy family I want so badly. Then one of the guys from Charlie Team sent me a video of her fucking him and a few friends."

"I'm amazed you didn't kill him," I was getting lost for words again. How could someone like Riley go through so much bullshit and still be a good person? What's worse, how could someone take advantage of him like that?

"Turns out Sam and Nick set it up," Riley went back to the fiddling with the rest of the label left on his beer bottle. "They suspected for ages but never had any solid proof. I got my pretty fucking solid proof and kicked her out. Did the whole paternity test and I wasn't the Father. It tore me up for a long time. It wasn't until I failed a psych assessment at work I realised being angry wasn't helping me. Neither was moping around and feeling sorry for myself. Did Abby tell you what happened with Alexi?"

"Yeah she did," I gave Riley a small smile. Here he was pouring his heart out to me and I had no idea what to say to that. What could I say? Sorry felt like such an insignificant word for everything he went through. Threatening to hunt down and kill the bitch seemed so much more appropriate. I'm sure Natasha would help me with it, and disposing of the evidence afterwards.

"It just made me refocus and realise that life goes on no matter what. That I could do good things and help people instead of feeling sorry for myself," Riley looked up with a crooked grin. "Seems the universe paid me back in a really good way. I was so pissed off when I got shot in the arm, but if it hadn't of happened I never would have been able to talk to you."

"The universe sure has a funny way of making things work doesn't it?" I returned the grin. We'd pulled into the garage at his building. The 20 minute drive felt like it'd passed in mere minutes. I parked in his spot and as soon as the car was stopped Riley lent over and kissed me. After a week of nothing but a few kisses here and there and one very hurried quickie in the shower, I wanted him so badly. The feel of his lips against mine was an instant turn on. Our teeth clashed against each other, his lips were bruising against mine. My tongue tangled around his demanding his attention. It was Riley to pull back first.

"Are we christening the car or making it back up to my apartment before you rip my clothes off?"

As tempting as it would be to push the seat back and fuck him right there on the passenger seat, sport cars weren't made for that level of comfort.

"Apartment," I didn't waste any time in jumping out of the car. We both ran up the stairs, taking them 2 at a time. As soon as Riley got the front door opened I stripped off walking straight for the bedroom, leaving my clothes in random piles throughout the apartment. I was completely naked by the time I got to the bedroom. Riley was right on my heels. I planned on turning around but he was just as impatient as I felt. He gently pushed me onto the bed, me hitting with landing on my hands and knees. I felt the mattress dip behind me as Riley fell onto the bed behind me. He wasted no time, his hand going between my legs straight away. His fingers teased along me a few times before sliding into me easily. I pushed myself back onto his fingers as he worked them inside of me. His thumb was brushing against my clit sending jolts right down to my toes.

"I missed you so much this week," Riley sounded breathless as his fingers left me. I let out a groan of disappointment, but it quickly turned into a moan as he sunk his cock into me. He stayed still for a second, his breathing even heavier now. He slowly started to move, tantalizingly slow at first. One hand gripped my ass hard enough that I know I'd have finger sized bruises on it tomorrow. His other hand went back between my legs gently working my clit.

"I'm not going to last long," Riley said with a breathless laugh. He picked up the pace, angling his hips in the perfect way to hit all the right spots in my body.

"Me either," it was hard to get the words out. I could already feel my orgasm building. I buried my head into the blanket trying to stifle the sounds falling from my lips. Riley's pace quickened again, not only with his thrusts but his fingers as well. It was enough to send me over the edge. My entire body shook which the intensity of the orgasm. I don't even know what sounds I was making into the bedsheets. Just as I was coming down from it I could feel Riley's pace start to get erratic. A few seconds later he buried his cock in as deep as he cold go, shuddering as he came as well.

It took us both a good minute to regain our senses. My legs didn't want to work anymore as I collapsed on the bed face first. Riley lay next to me, gently sifting me so I could lay on my side, cradled up to his chest. My eyes felt like lead weights, I just couldn't keep them open anymore. The slid shut and I had a smile on my face as I started to drift to sleep.

"I adore you," Riley murmured into my hair just before I fully fell asleep. "You're the best thing that has ever happened to me."

I didn't have the energy to reply. I wanted to tell him I adored him as well. Despite my initial freak out about him talking about falling in love with me earlier, I could see myself going with this. Riley was making it very easy to fall in love with him as well. I wasn't quite there yet, but I wasn't far from it either.

It was a nice last thought before falling asleep, safely wrapped up in Riley's arms.

The sun was dimly shining when my eyes cracked open. I though I'd heard a noise dragging me out of the edges of sleep. I glanced over at the clock and immediately settled back down. 0622, fuck that shit for a Saturday. Riley wrapped his arm around me again and pulled me close to him, tangling his legs over mine. A second later an arm full of clothes landed in my face.

"Get the fuck up, I need you," Jared's voice sounded tired and strained.

I threw the clothes off my face, sitting up wrapping the blankets around my naked body while I glared at my twin. All these weeks where I hadn't seen him and he disturbs me on a Saturday morning after a huge week at work. I could easily kill him.

"Get out," I said through gritted teeth.

"No I'm serious, I need you for a mission Kari," Jared didn't look one bit sorry he'd disturbed my sleep in. Or the fact I was laying here naked with my boyfriend. He was dressed in casual jeans with a hoodie thrown over whatever he'd been wearing underneath. He looked exhausted. His hair was sticking up everywhere and I could faintly smell smoke on him.

But my ears perked up at what he said. As annoyed as I was, I couldn't begin to imagine what Jared would actually need me for. Hell I can't even begin to think of why he'd even be allowed to take me on a mission. His level 7 clearance was far beyond me.

"It'll be fun," Jared offered with a feral gleam in his eyes. "Please Kari?"

I'm sure I was going to regret this.

"Get out so I can get dressed."

The feral look in Jared's eyes extended down to a grin on his face. He disappeared without another word. Riley rolled over onto his stomach and pulled a pillow over his head.

"Whatever your crazy twin is dragging you into please be careful," Riley's voice was nearly indistinguishable being muffled into the sheets and by the pillow. "And punch him for interrupting my plans for morning sex to get rid of this hangover."

"I heard that," Jared's voice called from the lounge room. "Lets go Kari, we have a meeting in 10 minutes."

It took me less than a minute to yank my clothes on and kiss Riley goodbye. Jared at least had the decency to have a cup of coffee ready for me.

"Lets go."

Jared grabbed my hand and before I could protest the world dropped out for underneath us.


	22. Chapter 22

"Lets go over it again,” Jared prompted me.

“And close your eyes,” Clint added, his voice slightly distorted by the eyeliner pencil stuck in his mouth. 

I shut my eyes and let out a small breath before speaking. I winced as Natasha snagged a knot in my hair as she curled it around my GHD. 

“You’re Jakob Lindarson, small time arms dealer from Keflavik, Iceland,” I repeated for what felt the 100th time today. “I’m your sister Asta, along for the business trip. I don’t speak much English so I’m just there for show.”

“Because you wanted to see Vegas,” Jared corrected. “And because I’m an awesome brother.”

“All I need to do is mingle, preferably within the circle where Tony Stark is,” I ignored Jared and continued with my cover story. “If not Stark try to get near his associates. Obadiah Stane is an important one, so is James Rhodes. Rhodey is less important and be careful around him because of my Air Force career. I might be noticed.”

I tried not to flinch as I felt eyeshadow being brushed over my eyelids.

“Don’t forget to flirt a little in your terrible English,” Jared added. “Stark loves tall blondes. Not being able to speak English will probably make you a perfect target for him.”

From the corner of my bathroom I heard a noise of annoyance coming from Riley. 

“And bug Stark if I get close enough,” I ignored Riley. “I can slip something in his drink and take him back to his room so SHIELD can try and get some kind of tech onto him to see what the idiot is really up to.”

My stomach fluttered with nerves as I completed the mission brief I’d just been over. It was really simple. All I had to do was look good and flitter around the gala. The second part was only going to come into play if it was rock solid and there was no chance of me being found out. Jared referred to it as Plan H, because it was that far down on the list of priorities for me to worry about. For reasons beyond my level 4 security clearance SHIELD had their sights currently set on Stark Industries. A weapons manufacturer conference was being held in Vegas this weekend. All the big players were there. Hammer Industries, Oscorp, Advanced Idea Mechanics and according to the file notes a lot of private dealers. Jared was being sent in with his cover of being a small time arms dealer, dealing both on and off book, from Iceland. Why the person who had picked his cover story thought Iceland was a good idea I will never know. As soon as Jared found out he needed a second set of eyes he convinced Hill that it’d be easier if I came along. I was his sister, so that wasn’t even something we had to make up, and my fluent Icelandic pushed my favour even more. I was beginning to think my linguistic knowledge was only going to keep getting me into more and more trouble here at SHIELD. Hill had agreed straight away, but it came with strict warnings to not let me in engage in anything beyond what a normal level 4 would do. Eyes and ears only. I’d wear an earpiece so SHIELD could listen in to the conversation going on around me. One of the decorations on my dress served as a camera. 

Right now I was sitting in the bathroom while Clint did my make up for tonight. Natasha was doing my hair and helping me run through everything with Jared. Riley was sitting in the corner, still nursing his slight hangover but still there for silent encouragement. I think he just wanted to see me all dressed up. 

This was crazy. My third mission in and I was being thrown into essentially an undercover mission. While I didn’t have to do anything of importance I was really worried about stuffing it up. What if someone saw right through me? What if I forgot something really important and we got compromised? Clint and Natasha would be listening on in the mission and be in my ear in case they were needed. They’d set up in one of the hotel rooms and be there just in case I needed them. Or Jared, but I was pretty sure it was more for my benefit than Jared’s.

It felt completely ridiculous sending me in there. If I hadn’t of been in the meeting with Hill and her firm reassurances that I could do this, I would have thought Jared was just being a shit and taking me along on something boring he didn’t want to do. 

“Open,” Clint instructed. “And look up.”

I opened my eyes and looked up, flinching as I felt the eyeliner trace under my bottom lashes. I tried to stop my eyes watering as Clint carefully applied the last of the eyeliner and mascara. From the brief glances I caught in the mirror even I was impressed at the makeup job he’d done. Natasha was putting a few pins in my hair and coating the curls in hairspray to make them stay in. 

After this I’d get changed into the evening gown I had to wear. I didn’t even know what it looked like, I just hoped it wasn’t too revealing. From there Jared would teleport us one at a time straight to the hotel room, having already checked in this morning. From there him and I would make our way down to the function, do our thing and check out tomorrow morning like normal people. We had a 2 room suite, making it enough space for all of us in there tonight. 

“I’m going to get changed,” Jared pushed himself off the wall. “Nat can you do my bow tie?”

“Don’t I always?” Natasha said smartly as she shot a smirk at Jared. His didn’t bother to respond, he just smirked back and walked out of the room. 

“How are you feeling?” Clint asked turning away from me to rummage around in my make up bag. I took that as the hint I could finally look down, blinking a few times.

“Like I’m going to screw it up and the whole building will blow up,” I admitted dryly. “Who goes fucking undercover for their third mission?”

“You really aren’t undercover, so ease up there 007,” Natasha teased me gently. “All you have to do is walk around and mingle. You’re going to look amazing so you aren’t going to need any help attracting attention from the people you need to.”

“This is probably a really good mission to ease you into this sort of thing though,” Clint added helpfully. He produced a tube of lipstick from my makeup bag, along with lip liner. “These formal functions can be fun. Good food, lots of booze. You get to dress up and look pretty. It won’t be too hard of a night. Think of us poor suckers sitting up in the room doing nothing but listening to you.”

“At least you have a mini bar to keep you occupied,” I pointed out. I’d much rather be sitting in the room with them. “If you ask me nicely I might even order room service for you.”

“I’m a bit jealous you get to go to Vegas for the night,” Riley put in from the corner. “I’d offer to come along, but somehow I think security might get upset with me walking around with my CheyTac.”

“You can always come in run surveillance with us,” Natasha offered. “But I have this funny feeling if someone tried to flirt with Kari you’d be down there beating the shit out of them.”

“Maybe,” Riley tried to look innocent but he failed. I had no doubt Riley could get very jealous and over protective if the mood struck him. 

“Seriously Maria?” Jared wandered back into the bathroom in suit pants and his shirt hanging open. His phone was tucked between his shoulder and ear. “No, I don’t need another set of eyes in this its…”

Jared was cut off. He grunted angrily into the phone, a frown pulling on his face. I watched his face for any clue what was going on. It didn’t stop my eyes being drawn to his exposed body. I had never seen my twin so buff in all our lives. He used to be skinny like me and now he actually had muscles. It was almost enough to detract from the nasty scar running across his defined stomach ending just below the rib cage. It ran diagonally from his left hip all the way across his stomach. In my very limited experience it looked like a nasty knife wound. Or sword considering the length of it.The scar was white and faded now, but it must have been one hell of an injury when it happened. Jared had never mentioned it and I hadn’t seen him in a long time without clothes on. 

“Don’t move again, lip liner is not my strong point,” Clint instructed as he uncapped the lip pencil. I rolled my eyes at him but did as I was told. 

“But I don’t like him,” the way Jared whined I expected an angry foot stomp right after it. I was disappointed when Jared was able to contain his inner 2 year old tantrum. “No one fucking likes him. I don’t want him on my mission.”

Jared snapped his mouth shut irritability as there as a blast from the other end of the phone. It was too muffled to hear but Hill didn’t sound happy at all with Jared’s attitude.

“Bobbi? May? Trip? Someone I actually like enough not to shoot them in the face?” Jared argued. “Fuck me Hill, anyone but him. Please I am begging you.”

“Who’s he talking about?” Riley asked quietly.

“Who are you talking about?” Natasha asked louder looking at Jared. 

Riley rolled his eyes. We were all just one big ball of sass this afternoon. It’d been a long day for a Saturday that we were all meant to have off. It was going to be an even longer night with this function. I tried not to grin as Clint was still working on my lips. There was no such thing as discreet with Natasha around.

“Ward,” Jared didn’t bother to cover the mouthpiece of the phone. “Hill hates me. This is payback of some kind I’m sure of it.”

“If you stopped being such a fucking asshole about everything I’m sure she wouldn’t have a reason to,” Clint let out an unamused snort. “He’s good at what he does Jared, so shut up about it.”

Jared scowled at Clint and changed the phone over to speaker.

“I’m trusting you to make sure Ward comes back alive Barton,” Hill’s voice came over the phone. 

“I don’t really like him so I wouldn’t be trusting me to bring him back alive,” Clint said flatly. “None of us like him Hill. Jared is right about that.”

From the other side of the bathroom Riley choked back his laughter. It was quiet but from the silence on the other end of the phone I had no doubt Hill heard it.

“And that’s who in the room with you?” Hill didn’t sound very happy about hearing Riley’s muted laughter. 

“Riley, Kari’s boyfriend,” Jared filled in quickly before Riley could speak up. 

“Oh Agent Hunterton, I’ve heard about you,” the smirk in Hill’s voice could be heard clearly. “Tell me Agent Hunterton, do you know Agent Grant Ward?”

“No Ma’am,” Riley said swiftly. “First I’ve heard of him.”

“Good, Agent Evans is your STRIKE leader isn’t he?” Hill asked.

“Yes Ma’am,” Riley suddenly looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here right now. Jared looked back at Riley with his own smug expression. Natasha covered her mouth to try and wipe the smile off her face. Poor Riley, he should have tried a little harder to cover that laugh. 

“Then you’ve just been roped into surveillance duty with Barton and Romanoff,” Hill sounded so proud of herself. “And you can be the responsible one to make sure Agent Ward comes back in one piece, alive and breathing. He’ll be there in 20 minutes with your equipment. Debrief in my office first thing Monday morning.”

Hill hung up without another word. 

“My life used to be normal,” Riley sighed over dramatically looking around the room at the rest of us. “And somehow I just managed to get roped into a mission by simply being in the same room as you troublemakers.”

“Look on the bright side,” Clint shot a grin over his shoulder. “Now you’re here, Kari will definitely order us room service. Ever run surveillance before?”

Riley just nodded in confirmation. Jared grumbled under his breath in a language I couldn’t pick walking out of the room again. Clint gave my lips a quick coat of lipstick before putting it aside.

“Put it in your purse, don’t lose it,” he instructed. “Go get dressed.”

I didn’t need to be told twice. Last thing I wanted to be doing is walking around still in a bathrobe when Agent Ward showed up. I jumped down from the sink where I’d been perched while Clint painted a face on me. I couldn’t resist a quick look in the mirror to see what kind of job he’d done. 

“Wow,” I blinked a few times at my reflection in the mirror. Clint had gone for a really bold look for me. Smokey eyes, bright lipstick. It looked amazing without being over the top. I never would have picked this for myself. I always went for muted shades and subtle. The way Clint had done it really brought up the blue in my eyes and made my lips look even fuller than before. 

“Where did you learn to do that?” I turned back to Clint who was chucking everything back in my makeup bag. 

“I can learn anything when I pay attention,” Clint cheekily dodged the question. By his absence of an answer my guess would have been it and something to do with his time in the circus. Not something he was willing to bring up around Riley. 

“Dress, lets go,” Natasha gave me a shove away from the mirror. “Gawk at yourself when you’re fully dressed.” 

“You helping?” I asked Natasha. I was getting more nervous now. My stomach knotted uncomfortably and all I could think of was the million ways I was going to screw this up.

“Sure, I haven’t seen you naked yet,” Natasha’s teasing tone was back. “Can I pick out your underwear? Or lack of since I know what kind of dress you’re wearing.”

“So I just skip the underwear tonight?” I was grateful for Natasha’s teasing. It gave me something else to focus on besides my nerves. Right now I needed as much refocusing as possible so I didn’t throw up from nerves. 

Riley looked like he was having a hard time squashing down the mental imagine he must have been having. He shifted uncomfortably against the wall, crossing one leg in front of the other. I knew how he felt. Last night had done nothing to take the edge off me. I was looking forward to spending the day in bed with him tomorrow. Providing everything went to plan tonight. 

“Down boy,” Natasha smirked as she noticed his reaction too. “Wait until you see her in this dress.”

Riley didn’t say anything. He cleared his throat and looked intently at the wall. I didn’t miss the unmistakable flash of embarrassment cross his face. 

“Now I’m worried about what this dress is going to look like,” I muttered under my breath. Natasha just shoved me out of the bathroom and into my bedroom. The garment bag was hanging up on my cupboard door, with 3 inch stiletto heels underneath it. The heels were silver, just plain ones nothing special giving me no clue to what I was actually wearing.

“I hope it fits,” I said rather unnecessarily. I had no doubt everything would fit perfectly. How SHIELD managed to get all these things needed for a mission on such short notice was beyond me. Especially in such specifics, like a size 8 shoe and a size 4 dress. “First drawer over there.”

“It’ll fit,” Natasha walked over to my underwear drawer and started to rummage through it. “Damn Kari you have some seriously nice stuff in here. Got an underwear fetish or something?”

Natasha pulled out a red lace thong that left nothing to the imagination. If she went a little further into the draw there was probably a matching bra somewhere for it. 

“I like nice underwear sets,” I simply shrugged. “Keeps my shoe fetish in check. Are those real Louis Vuitton heels?”

I’d only just noticed the brand on the shoe. They looked very authentic if it was a fake.

“Of course they are,” Natasha looked offended that I even had to ask that question. “You’re going to a gala where it’s a $1500 a head just to get in. This is all part of blending in. Everything had to be authentic. You aren’t going to get away with a pair of knock off shoes because guaranteed some snotty diva will call you out on it. Please tell me you have one of those stick on bras super push up bras? Your dress is pretty revealing and you’ll need the cleavage boost.”

“I wear an A cup, of course I have multiple bras to give me extra boobs,” I laughed. “Bras are in the drawer underneath.”

I noticed Natasha still had the red thong still hooked around her fingers. It seems my underwear choice was that for tonight. Considering the amount she had to choose from, it just had to be something as revealing at that. Why did I get a sneaking suspicion I was going to end up falling over in those tall heels and everyone getting a good look up my dress. I should have gone and gotten that brazillian wax I’d been putting off for the last month done. She quickly went through my bra drawer and pulled out the only stick on bra I had that actually made me look like I had boobs. She handed both of them to me. 

“I’m still not sure the on why I’m going in and not you,” I confessed quietly to Natasha as I pulled the thong on under my robe. “This isn’t what I thought I signed up for.”

“We have a side mission,” Natasha turned her back and unzipped the garment bag while I pulled the robe off and got my bra on. “Above your clearance level, and only coming into play if a certain person is there. So Clint and I might split without notice. So it’s not just the whole language thing, if I was in there and the player we have eyes on spots me then its all over.”

I was very grateful for Natasha’s honestly. She didn’t have to tell me, even if she couldn’t give me any details at least I knew what was going on behind the scenes. It made the whole situation fall into place easier. 

“So if we leave, it might be a few days or few weeks before we get back,” Natasha continued. “Jared will be sticking around as part of the cover.”

“Any hints?” I turned around to look at my dress which Natasha now held over her arms.

“Arms up,” Natasha instructed. I eyed what seemed to be no more than a scrap of material in her arms. A very pretty and shiny silver scrap of material though. “Just play up the whole not speaking English and walk around. Drink some champagne, eat the expensive food and have a good time. Thats all you need to do.”

“Right,” I murmured putting my arms over my head. Natasha dropped the skimpy dress over my head, taking care not to touch my face of hair. 

Natasha gave it a few tugs as it settled over my body. She then moved around to do the zip up while I held the front of it up. Looking in my full length mirror I didn’t recognise myself. The dress was simple but gorgeous. It was a shimmery silver fabric, the bodice was covered in sequins that definitely didn't look cheap. It was strapless and dipped down at the back, leaving a lot of skin exposed. A crystal decoration sat just above my left breast, which I assumed was my camera for tonight. A slit ran right up to my thigh on the left hand side given a clear view of my legs. Combined with the smokey make up and gentle curls farming my face it created a stunning look. 

“See you look amazing,” Natasha smiled behind me. “Have fun tonight, I love these types of missions. Any excuse to dress up and drink expensive champagne.”

“Then you can do it next time while I run surveillance,” I stopped myself wiping my sweaty palms on the dress. Seeing everything all put together now had just made everything seem very real. 

“Ready to go?” Jared barged in without knocking. He stopped dead in his tracks, eyebrows raised at my appearance. He opened his mouth and then shut it again, whatever comment he was going to say died on his lips. 

“What?” I frowned at him putting my hands on my hips. Any shred of confidence I felt looking in the mirror was going to be gone if Jared thought I looked ridiculous. He’d be the first to call me out on it too. 

“You look fucking amazing,” Jared chuckled. “Nat?”

I just smiled in return. Inwardly I was sagging in relief. Jared’s brutal honestly could have made things so much worse if he didn’t think I looked good. He didn’t need to gesture to his untied bowtie. Natasha just stepped up and gave the untied black piece of fabric a yank to bring Jared more down to her level. Jared was 6’1, tall enough even without his chunky formal dress shoes on. 

Natasha’s well practiced fingers had his bowtie done in a few seconds. Even I had to admit that Jared looked very good in the obviously expensive suit. Even without the jacket on.

“Shoes,” Jared prompted me breaking me out of my staring at his suit. “Lets go, Ward should be here any second.”

“Be nice,” Natasha warned Jared. “None of us like him but be professional.”

“I’m always professional,” Jared flashing a charming smile. He was only met with a deadpan stare from Natasha as she gave the bowtie a yank. Jared winced before straightening up. “Lets go.”

I grabbed my shoes and then realised I was missing something pretty important.

“I need a handbag,” I had a rush of panic. “And I have nothing nice enough to match these shoes.”

“Handbag is in the lounge room,” Natasha was quick to reassure me. “Stop being nervous and just relax.”

Easy enough for Natasha to say. A mission like this would be a quiet day at work for her. Without another word she walked out of the room and I was left alone in front of the mirror. I took another look at the mirror, still not believing what was looking back at me. Natasha was right, as always. Natasha was always right. Her honestly was something I always wanted even when I didn’t think I’d want it. I needed to relax and just go with the flow of this. I wasn’t doing myself much good getting worked up over something that should be simple and enjoyable. 

“Kaaaaaaari,” Jared called out in a sing song voice. “Lets get the fuck moving. Its Vegas on a Saturday night with free food and booze.”

“Coming,” I called back giving myself one last look in the mirror. I still wasn’t believing that it was really me staring back in my own reflection. I finally dragged myself away from the mirror and made my way out to the lounge room. It had a plus one in it already. I hadn’t heard the knock on the door, or Agent Ward even announcing he was here.

“Kari, Ward,” Jared introduced me straight away to the tall, dark haired guy already there. “Ward, my sister Kari. Lets go.”

Jared grabbed my hand and the next second we were in a very fancy hotel room.

“Welcome to Caesars Palace,” Jared looked with a careful grin on his face. “Back soon. Put your shoes on, for the 10th fucking time, so we can go.”

~~~~

I sipped on my 3rd glass of champagne. Berating myself to slow down a little bit. We were an hour into the function and none of the key players we needed to see were around. I was hanging close to Jared, like he’d told me to do at the start. He was currently conversing with a small group of men in his fake and very heavy accent. As fake as it was, it was a very good accent. 

It was frustrating having to stand there pretending like I had no idea what they were talking about. Currently the conversation was about the new line of missiles Stark Industries were going to unveil tomorrow. The Jericho missiles were meant to be months away from being released on the market. But in usual Tony Stark fashion, he’d called a conference for tomorrow to unveil them. Right before he took them out on the open market for military use. The rumour was Stark was unveiling them to the US military as of next week. 

Natasha had been right. I should never doubt her. This was very straight forward and even a little boring. But at least the booze was flowing freely.

“Kari,” Natasha’s voice came alive in my ear. “Stark just walked in, he’s hanging by the bar. Go excuse yourself and get another drink. Flirt and then walk away.”

“Jakob,” I turned to Jared with a small smile. I switched to Icelandic, the words as natural to me as English. “I’m going to go flirt and act drunk.”

Jared just nodded. I smiled to the group of men and walked away, teetering in the tall heels a little bit. I didn’t need to act slightly tipsy, I was there already. I’d barely eaten all day and the champagne was very good. The small pieces of food they dared to call appetisers barely touched the sides of my empty stomach. 

I made it to the bar just in time to see Tony Stark himself turn away with a drink in his hand. It could’t have been better timing for me. I had turned like I was looking over my shoulder, and walked straight into him. His scotch sloshed in his glass, but didn’t actually spill on me.

“Fuck,” Tony looked drunk already. He staggered as he took a step back out of my way. “Sorry.”

“Oh I…” I let out a breathy giggle. It was hard to maintain the thick accent. “Sorry.”

I really rolled the R’s around in my mouth, like I could barely pronounce the word. It worked perfectly. Tony was staring at me like a kid finding a new toy. The look he was giving me was that I was currently about to be his new want in the world. Even if it was only going to be for 5 minutes.

“I don’t believe we’ve met,” Tony stuck his hand out. His cocky smirk appeared on face his wiping away any traces of drunkenness. “Tony Stark.”

As much as I wanted to roll my eyes and slap his hand away I had a part to play. I giggling again, pulling a wide smile onto my lips.

“My english, sorry,” I stuttered through the sentence. “Asta.”

I held my hand out what I hoped to be delicately. Stark didn’t disappoint, he took my limp hand and placed a kiss on it. It took a lot of self control not to pull it away in disgust as his goatee tickled the skin on my hand. Some women might like facial hair but I was definitely not one of them. His lips lingered a lot longer than necessary. I decided it he was going to do something disgusting, like lick my hand I’d quite happily break cover and punch him in the nose. I was really confident I could hit hard enough to do some damage as well. 

“I love women who don’t speak English” Tony smiled. “Drink? Of course you want a drink. Actually I want you to drink.”

Tony gestured towards my nearly empty champagne glass. With an impatient snap of his fingers he gestured towards the bartender. He took my nearly empty glass from my other hand and set it down on the bar. 

“There you are!” Jared’s voice carried over the noise of the crowd around the bar. I was grateful for his quick intervention. I don’t know how I could have kept up the whole flirting thing with very limited English. “My apologises Mr Stark, my sister doesn’t speak much English.”

“No apologises necessary,” Tony looked at me up and down with obvious attraction. “And you are with the funky European accent?

“Jakob Lindarson,” unlike everyone else Jared made no move to shake Tony’s hand. “We haven’t met before, the pleasure is all mine.”

I looked between them trying to look like I wasn’t following the conversation. I kept a fake smile plastered on my face. I kept glancing up at Tony from under my eyelashes. I had his full attention still. He was barely paying attention to Jared.

“Flutter them a bit Kari,” Natasha murmured in my ear. “Don’t look at him like you want to pounce on him and beat the shit out of him. You need to do a different type of pouncing.”

It took every fibre of my self control not to burst out laughing at Natasha’s unhelpful piece of advice. Well, it was a little bit helpful. I let a silly pout fall onto my lips.

“Better,” Natasha snickered. “Flash a bit of leg and walk away.”

I casually took my now full champagne glass and purposely let my leg slid from out underneath the dress. I smiled at both of the men and walked away, making sure I walked enough to let my hips wiggle slightly. It was really hard to maintain. Any type of sexy walk was smacked out of me a long time ago in Officer training. But the enormous heels helped a little. 

“Your ass looks fantastic. Keep wiggling it like that,” Clint’s voice spoke up in my ear this time. It was followed by a muffled thump and a loud ow coming from Clint. There was no doubt in my mind that either Riley or Natasha had just smacked him for that comment. 

I walked past Ward who was doing the exact same thing as Jared was doing. He was in a circle of men, currently speaking rapidly in Russian. He wasn’t the only stare that followed me across the room. So far I hadn’t spoken to him at all to find out why no one liked him. At least he was good looking. He could have been butt ugly with an attitude to match. 

“See, even Ward is checking her out and I thought he was gay,” Clint spoke up again. I was very glad I wasn’t with anyone at the moment. I had to bite my lip to stifle the laugh that bubbled up in my throat. I drowned the rest of it out by taking a large swig of champagne. 

“Obadiah Stane is talking to someone who looks familiar near the buffet table,” Natasha said. “Swing around and have a look. At the end of the table near the chocolate fountain. Your 10 o’clock.”

Buffet table? I didn’t know there was a buffet table. Here I was starving eating tiny little servings of food and I could have been pigging out at a buffet instead. Though if I found the waiter that had those tiny little spoons of seared scallops on parsnip cream I was going to take the entire tray for myself. 

“Don’t scoff everything down at the buffet table,” Natasha said quickly as I found the said table across the room. “Though if you can sneak some chocolate mousse up I will love you forever.”

“And no sticking your hand in the chocolate fountain,” Clint was being really unhelpful tonight. He sounded so bored. The laugh in the background came from Riley. He’d barely said two words to me the minute I walked into this room. I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from smiling at that comment though. It really was something I’d do if I could get away with it. 

The buffet table looked far too tempting for me not to gorge myself. I settled on some kind of shrimp on a small round disc. I had no idea what it was but it tasted divine. I took a few other small morsels on a napkin and walked past where Natasha had directed me. I walked past a middle aged balding man who was talking too quietly for me to catch anything. He was speaking to another bald man, middle eastern judging by my quick glance at his appearance. Neither of them paid a speck of attention to me as I walked past.

“I need you to try and get a good look at that guy Kari,” Clint prompted. “Just be discreet. Do a couple of circles, go flirt with Stark a bit more.”

I tried not to sigh. This was getting tedious very quickly. No wonder everyone was so quick to send me in. So much for don’t worry it’ll be fun. The only fun thing about this was the food I’d just found. 

I did as I was told. I hung around with Jared who was making his way around various circles. I managed to find the waiter who had the seared scallops on spoons again much to my delight. Another 2 glasses of champagne and I was really starting to feel the effects of the expensive alcohol. I’d managed to get a clear view of the man Obadiah had been speaking to earlier. The sound of disappointment coming from Clint told me it wasn’t the target that they had their eyes on. I’d made another circle of the room when someone tapped me on the shoulder.

“Excuse me?” 

My hand twitched from wanting to smack the strangers hand off my shoulder. Instead I turned with a smile plastered on my face. I was getting sick of smiling tonight. My cheeks were starting to hurt and it felt like I couldn’t keep it genuine anymore. 

Seeing the face of James Rhodes made a flash of panic go through me. It was bad enough I had to stop myself saluting him from sheer habit. He was dressed in his formal Air Force uniform, hat tucked under his arm. He was looking at me intently, as if he was trying to place my face. I’d only met him while I’d been in a crowd. Never enough for him to be able to get a good look at my face. But my hair was a bit of a dead giveaway sometimes. 

“First Lieutenant Lyngley?” he questioned looking puzzled.

“Don’t panic,” Natasha instructed me quickly. “Just play cool, don’t speak English remember.”

I had to stop myself from jumping in surprise every time one of them did that. There could be radio silence for ages then Natasha or Clint would come back into my ear instructing me to do something.

“Pardon?” I asked in Icelandic and then forced myself to giggle and switch back to English. “Ah sorry, My English…”

I trailed off with an apologetic shrug. To my relief Rhodey instantly started to apologise.

“I’m sorry I thought you were someone else,” Rhodey even looked slightly embarrassed. “Excuse me.”

Rhodes turned on his heel and walked away. I let out a very quiet sigh of relief. That had been very close. I could have just fucked everything up in an instant there.

“Well played,” Clint praised me. “Just keep clear of him and stop walking like you’re still in the military, shake that ass baby.”

I ignored Clint and his new level of obnoxious. My earpiece went silent so I had no doubt the conversation in the room had just taken a turn for the worse. Or better. Depending on how you see it. 

Out of boredom I found myself back at the buffet table. I spied a large pile of strawberries sitting right by the enormous chocolate fountain. I couldn't help myself. Even if I had the will power to resist chocolate dipped strawberries, well who was I kidding? I never had the will power to resist two of my favourite things put together. I had no doubt with the luxury being thrown around that the chocolate wasn’t your cheap kind that came from the supermarket. 

“If you’re heading to what I can see,” I could hear the pout in Natasha’s voice. “Please smuggle me some up later. And don’t spill it all over your dress.”

Great I didn’t think of that. Now I was going to be really paranoid about spilling chocolate everywhere. It wasn’t going to deter me though. I took a skewer, and put one strawberry on it. I rolled it around in the cascading waterfall of chocolate, willing myself not to drool as I did it. Satisfied it was smothered in enough chocolate I slowly bit into it. The first taste of it on my tongue made me close my eyes. Nope definitely no cheap stuff here. The chocolate was amazing and the strawberry was the best I had ever tasted. The other half was gone just as quickly. A quick glance around showed no one was paying any attention to me so I quickly shoved a few more on the skewer and ate them just as quickly. 

“Hey Kari,” Clint’s voice was firm as he interrupted my little pig out session. “Do me a favour and turn to your 2 o’clock, very slowly. Make it look like you’re scanning the room.”

I did as I was instructed. Faking a yawn, I covered my mouth and turned around looking for Jared. I couldn’t see him anywhere so it wasn’t hard to make it look authentic that I was looking for him. 

“Stop,” Clint instructed. 

There was a group of men standing around. It looked like every other circle of men around this function. A few had other women hanging off their arms wearing the same expression as me. Bored but trying to look like they’re having a good time. From this distance I could barely pick out the individual details of each person. Let alone be able to find the target in the dimmed atmosphere. 

“That’s us,” Natasha sounded excited. “Get your ass back up here. Tell Jared you’re tired or something. He’s in the corner with Stark.”

I didn’t argue. I just drained the last of my champagne and made my way to where I’d finally spotted Jared. He was hanging near the bar and still talking to Stark. It didn’t actually look like they’d moved since I left earlier. I don’t know how Jared did it. He could talk for hours, whether he knew what he was talking about or not. He certainly had the gift of the gab.

“Jakob,” I walked up with a smile on my face. 

He tore himself away from the conversation enough to shoot me a questioning look.

“I’m heading back up to the room,” I said in Icelandic. “Apparently I’m done for the night.”

“So I heard,” Jared leant over and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek replying in the same language. “I won’t be far behind you. I have what I need as well.”

Tony couldn’t keep his eyes off me during the brief conversation between Jared and I. He just stood there watching me intently until I turned back to him.

“Good night,” I stuttered through the English in a terrible accent. I was very grateful I didn’t have to plaster that fake smile on my face anymore. 

“Its still early,” Tony looked disappointed. He suddenly remembered my lack of English and turned back to Jared. “There’s an after party starting at midnight. Perhaps your sister would like to catch a quick sleep before that?”

“So I’m just going to talk at you because he has no idea what I’m saying,” Jared spoke in his smooth Icelandic. “But I strongly recommend you don’t go to the after party. Someone is watching you very carefully.”

Jared gave a barely noticeable incline of his head towards his left. My eyes shifted to where he had motioned and landed on Rhodey. Jared was right, he was staring at me very intently. It wasn’t just out of attraction either. He was trying very hard to place my face.

“I’m going to fucking kill someone if I don’t get out of these shoes,” I said through gritted teeth trying to keep smiling. I had to be careful with my pronunciation because fucking quite literally translated to fuck in Icelandic. “What if I’m followed?”

“You won’t be,” Jared reassured me before turning back to Tony switching back to English. “Sorry my sister said she’s too tired to attend. Perhaps next time?”

“Turn your body left a bit Kari,” Clint instructed in my ear suddenly. I didn’t catch what Tony said to me. I was spared from anymore attention as Jared launched into another conversation with Tony. I turned, doing as Clint told me as I walked off.

“Perfect, see you in a minute,” the line went dead in my ear again. I had to stop myself ripping the damn thing out in front of everyone. It was very small and discreet. You’d have to be looking very hard to actually see it sitting in my ear canal. But it was also very uncomfortable. I made my way out of the room and walked down the vast corridor towards the elevator. All I could think of right now as the utter relief of getting my shoes off. Jared’s idea of ordering room service sounded like a spectacular idea. I was going to go for some wings and beer. Anything I didn’t have to eat delicately. 

The elevator ride was quiet. It as just me in the elevator as I absently picked at my nails. The nail polish I’d quickly thrown on was already chipping. No doubt from me unintentionally fidgeting with it all night. Once the elevator opened on the floor of my room I quickly checked the hallway. It was completely clear so I happily ripped my shoes off. Padding barefoot down the hallway, Natasha already had the door opened before I got there. She was still dressed casually in jeans and a hoodie. I actually had a feeling it was my hoodie. The one I thought I’d left in my locker at work. 

“I already ordered food” Natasha said as soon as I stepped into the door. “Hope you’re hungry.”

“As long as you ordered wings and beer,” I nodded in confirmation. “When you are leaving?’

“As soon as Ward confirms the guy we’ve got eyes on is leaving,” Natasha took my purse and shoes off me. “Like I said earlier, we could be gone a few days or a few weeks. Keep your phone on and we’ll call for pick up once it’s done.”

I felt a pang of sadness at those words. I’d practically been glued to Natasha or Clint’s side as soon as I’d gotten assigned to them. I didn’t know what I was going to do, or who was going to keep sparring with me of a morning with them gone. If Riley got called away on a mission as well I’d feel completely abandoned. 

“We’re going to have to eat on the run,” Clint said coming into the front room. “He’s leaving. Lets go Nat.”

“Fucker,” Natasha pulled a face. She turned on her heel and stormed back into the room where everything was set up.

“If you need anything ask Coulson,” Clint was quick to start filling me in on details. “Until we get back I asked Riley to help you train in the mornings. Remember its sparring, not seeing if you can fuck each other on the matts.”

I laughed despite feeling upset that they were both leaving for an undisclosed amount of time without me. 

“Look after Laura and the kids for me,” Clint dropped his voice. “She knows I’m gone, so just drop in there a few times a week. I’d really appreciate it.”

“Sure,” I gave Clint a small smile. “Anything else?”

“No, just,” Clint didn’t finish his sentence. He pulled me into a brief hug. “Just be careful. There’s a lot going on in the world right now and I have this awful feeling something big is about to happen.”

“You’re telling me to be careful, yet you and Nat are the ones leaving to chase someone down,” my laugh came out shakier than I wanted it to. I was going to miss them both so much. I couldn’t wait to get to their clearance levels so I could be on these type of missions with them. 

“Nothing we haven’t done a million times,” Clint smiled. “See you soon.”

He picked up a bag he’d had at his feet and walked out the door. Natasha came back out of the other room with her own bag. She pulled me into a long hug.

“We expect you to create lots of mischief while we’re away,” Natasha’s voice was slightly muffled against my dress. “Do lots of sparring. Spend some time at the range if you can. If I get my way we’ll be back in a week.”

“Stay safe.”

“Half the fun is to not be safe,” Natasha pulled away with a grin. “I expect you to show me how much you can kick your boyfriends ass when I get back.”

“Here’s hoping,” I tried not to grimace thinking back to when I last saw Riley knock Sam on his ass in a few moves. He was just as quick as Clint was. 

“You never disappoint,” Natasha gave me another quick hug. “Be good.”

Just like Clint she hiked a bag up over her shoulder and she was gone as well. The door closing with a quiet click behind her.

What the hell was I going to do with myself for the next few weeks without them? Heres hoping something interesting would happen at work to keep me occupied.


	23. Chapter 23

It’d been very quiet without Clint and Natasha. My roster had settled down leaving me with some spare time during the days. Jared had been home basically the entire week and a bit. Instead of training with Riley I found myself training with Jared instead. Riley mostly watched from the sidelines when he wasn’t busy.

 

I don’t know if Clint had words to him about pushing me to use my powers more. But during sparring he didn’t hold back. He’d teleport out of the way, throw small balls of flames at me and basically do anything to cheat. He pushed me to the point of stooping to his level. I froze his feet in place and then punched him across the face. It left him with a black eye and a very swollen nose. I was so proud of myself that I took a photo of him half on the ground clutching at his face. I sent it to Natasha and Clint, not expecting an answer. I got a message back nearly right away, the first time I’d heard from both of them while they were away. It was another photo back. Clint was on the floor laughing and Natasha had a cat eating canary grin on her face giving me a thumbs up. I’m glad they approved. 

 

It also left the small problem of being torn between spending time with Jared and Riley. I’d felt like I had basically moved into Riley’s apartment without us talking about it. So I decided to stay back in my own bed one night. It’d been very hard to get to sleep after being used to having Riley in bed. When I finally fell asleep I woke up to Riley curled around me. He admitted in the morning he couldn’t sleep without me either but didn’t want to disturb me. So he just came over instead and let himself in. Jared had a bad habit of never locking the front door. He never felt the need to in a secure building. Riley didn’t even have to pick the lock, which he smugly informed me he could do easily, to get in. He just opened the door and got into bed with me.

 

I was startled awake by my phone ringing at 0200 the following Tuesday. I blinked in the darkness fumbling for the offending device currently blaring the Imperial Death March. Coulson ringing could only mean one thing. Natasha and Clint were ready to be picked up. Riley briefly stirred beside me, but settled back down nearly straight away.

 

“What?” I grunted into the phone when I finally managed to answer it.

 

“We need you in here now,” Coulson sounded wide awake. And very stressed. The tone of his voice made up wake up instantly. 

 

“Did something happen to Nat and Hawk?” I kicked the covers off already scrambling to find some clothes in the darkness.

 

“No, but we have a situation,” Coulson said. “You have 10 minutes.”

 

I didn’t get to protest, he’d already hung up. I yanked on a pair of underwear and fumbled through the clean pile of clothes still in the basket for work clothes. Inwardly I sighed. Riley and I really needed to talk about this living situation. I didn’t want him to think I was taking advantage of him being here all the time. 

 

“You can turn the light on you know,” Riley’s sleepy voice interrupted my fumbling into the dark. Before I could answer he flicked the beside light on. We both blinked rapidly in the overly bright light. “Whats happening?”

 

“I have no idea,” I finally produced a pair of pants with a black tank top. It’d do well enough at this stupid hour. I think my black work jacket was still hanging at the door with my motorbike jacket. “It’s not Nat and Hawk so the world is probably blowing up.”

 

“Why can’t it blow up at a reasonable hour?” Riley grumbled. He threw his arm over his eyes letting out a jaw cracking yawn. “I’ll keep the bed warm for you.”

 

“Thanks,” I said dryly. I quickly got dressed, not bothering to do anything else beyond throw my hair into a messy ponytail. Riley was nearly asleep again when I threw a leg over him and straddled him. I leant down and gave him a small kiss.

 

“I’ll let you know whats happening when I know,” I said before sitting up. I went to get off but Riley grabbed me around the waist and pulled me back down for another kiss. I laughed quietly against his lips, wriggling against him. It was so easy to get lost in his kisses. It took a lot of self control to pull away and not continue with pulling the blankets off his naked body.

 

“Be safe,” Riley snuck another kiss in before letting me get up.

 

“Always.”

 

The streets were deserted as I gunned my bike towards the Triskelion. It was freezing too. The middle of October now and the weather was promising a bitter winter. I was shivering my ass off by the time I pulled into the garage of the Triskelion. I wasn’t the only one called in. There’d been a small line up to actually get in. Coulson was only a few cars ahead of me and he was waiting as I climbed off my Kawasaki. He even had 2 cups of coffee in his hand.

 

“What’s happening?” I asked straight away as soon as my helmet was off. Coulson handed me the second cup of coffee which I gratefully took. I’d only about 4 hours of sleep. 

 

“You’re about the experience your first Level One priority op,” Coulson handed me the coffee. “Shit just got serious. Right now you’re being given level 6 clearance on a temporary basis.”

 

“Okaaay?” I looked at Coulson confused. He walked off leaving me feeling a bit dumbfounded as I fell into step a second after him.

 

“Right now we’re having a debrief with all Operations personal above level 6 and STRIKE team leaders,” Coulson continued when I caught up with him. “How much sleep have you had?”

 

“Not a lot,” I admitted. “Why?”

 

“You’re going to regret that very soon,” Coulson gave me a wry smile. “Did you ever use stimulants in the Air Force.”

 

“Once or twice,” I remembered those times very well. Mostly because I’d ended up sitting in the cockpit of a Raptor for 26 hours straight flying crazy long missions. During that time I learnt not only did Dexedrine keep me awake for 36 hours straight. Even on a very small dose. It also made me demolish 4 cheeseburgers, 2 large servings of fries and 10 McNuggets all to myself afterwards. Those flights also made me realise that the need to pee can make anyone learn to piss in a bottle when you didn’t have any other choice.

 

“Any issues?” Coulson asked as we made to the elevator.

 

“No, they just make me hungry,” what I really wanted to reply with was a lot more of a smart ass answer. Like what the fuck was happening to drag me out of bed at this hour. 

 

“Noted, I’ll send you with food,” Coulson pulled out his phone looking at something briefly. “Ever been to Bagram Base?”

 

“Only in passing,” the conversation was making me more curious. Bagram Air Force Base was the biggest joint operations base in Afghanistan. The base was nearly its own city with the amount of infrastructure there. It even had its own Burger King and Dairy Queen. “What’s going on Coulson?”

 

“Stark is missing,” Coulson’s words stopped me dead in my tracks. He didn’t wait for me, he just kept walking which forced me to take a few quick steps to catch up again. I didn’t have time to process the shocking piece of information just fed to me. I just had to keep moving and find out what my part to play was going to be in this.

 

“Are you serious?” 

 

“His convoy was attacked,” Coulson explained as I caught up. “Surprise attack. Only a handful of survivors. Most of them are in pretty bad shape. This hasn’t gotten out to the general public yet so SHIELD needs boots on the ground in a coordinated effort with other agencies to try and find him.”

 

“Any demands?” It was hard to get my head around all of this. Only a week ago Tony was at the gala, flirting with me. Now there was every chance he was dead, or being held hostage. With his substantial wealth, the latter seemed more the possibility. 

 

“None yet, but give it time,” Coulson and I reached the elevator. He hit the button the open the door. “I’m pulling Barton and Nat off their mission. You’ll be picking them up on the way over there.”

 

“It’d be nice to know where they are,” I was having a hard time keeping my sass in check this morning. I’d had far too little sleep for the world to be imploding in front of me right now. We both stepped into the empty elevator.

 

“South Africa,” Coulson supplied. “Operations control. Hunting down an arms dealer by the name of Ulysses Klawe. They’re currently holed up in a safe house just outside of Johannesburg. I’ll include them in on the video feed of the briefing thats about to happen.”

 

I was surprised Coulson actually told me straight out. But I was a temporary level 6 for the moment. It’d be nice knowing a little bit more of what really went on behind the scenes. 

 

“So what am I doing besides playing taxi?” the elevator climbed upwards without any noise. I took a long drink of my coffee. I was going to need another few hits of caffeine to get my head around all of this.

 

“This is going to be a search and rescue mission,” Coulson explained. “Right now we have no idea where he is besides where the convoy was attacked. There’s going to be air and ground sweeps of the entire country to track him down. I’ll need you to do whatever you’re asked of.”

 

So nothing different to any other time. Be quiet, do my job and don’t ask any questions.

 

“Right now the plan is the send in a select group of Specialists to see if they can establish anything with contacts in the area,” Coulson continued. “STRIKE will be right behind them and the ones doing the searching of any possible leads. Everyone is coming in on this. CIA, DOD, FBI, DIA, NSA. You name it they’ll be in on it.”

 

“Why such the big deal over one guy?” I asked. This was crazy. You basically had half the USA intelligence agencies chasing down one person. “I know he’s rich enough to own the world. But surely there’s a limit on what person is worth?”

 

“Who was Stark’s father?” Coulson didn’t answer my question.

 

“Howard Stark,” I filled in. 

 

“Who did what?”

 

“He helped with the Super Solider program in World War 2, as well as the Manhattan project,” I wasn’t following was I was getting drilled with a history lesson so early in the morning.

 

Coulson just looked at me expectedly. Like he was waiting for me to fill in the blanks. It took a few grinding of the brain gears for it to finally work and piece it all together.

 

“He founded the SSR and SHIELD,” I was very slow on the uptake this morning. The elevator doors slid open and we stepped out before I continued. “Along with Stark Industries, the biggest weapons manufacturer in the world. So we don’t know what Tony knows and doesn't know. He may know far too much and whoever took him will gain a lot of valuable intel on America’s weapons developments and secrets.”

 

“He may come across as a drunken playboy,” Coulson nodded at my explanation. “But he is a genius. 95% of what come out of Stark Industries comes from his creations. He supplies weapons not only to the military, but all of these organisations that are now hoping to find him before the bad guys know some dirty secrets. There’s a lot more experimental tech that isn't know about yet. We really don’t want people finding out about it.”

 

“You really think Stark would sell out his own country?”

 

“People do strange things under torture,” Coulson didn’t need to elaborate too much on that. “We don’t know who took him. So we don’t have what they’re capable of. In here.”

 

Coulson motioned towards the door on our left. Stepping into the room the loud buzzing of multiples conversations invaded my ears. The room looked like a massive auditorium. Just minus the stage. Chairs were set out in long rows. A projector screen was already down at the front of the room ready to go. It was nothing out of the ordinary at all. Besides the fact it was now 0220 and it was filled with people.

 

“Find a seat, it won’t be long,” Coulson instructed me before walking to the front of the room.

 

I hung back scanning the room for a familiar face. Despite the room being filled with people, there was nobody I knew. Well, knew enough to say hello. My eyes fell on Agent May, who was speaking with 2 other women. One tall with blonde hair and the other with her back to me and all I could see was brown hair. I chewed my lips, standing there debating whether I should actually go mingle or not. Jared should be here. But knowing him he’d show up only seconds before everything started. 

 

Jared walked in the door just as that thought ran through my head. So much for him getting here seconds before it started. Like everyone else in the room he had coffee with him. But his way balancing a tray full of cups. His face lit up when he saw me standing there.

 

“I was wondering if Coulson would bring you in on this one,” Jared grinned. He was far too awake for this stupid hour of the morning. “Come and meet some people.”

 

Apparently I was going to socialise whether I wanted to or not. Jared walked over to the group that I’d seen earlier with May. 

 

“Ladies, who loves me?” Jared announced loudly. He looked so proud of himself presenting the coffee tray to the 3 of them. “One of the left with the black mark on the lid is for you May.”

 

May just gave Jared a dead panned expression as she took the offered cup. 

 

“I don’t love you but I’ll tolerate you when you bring coffee,” the tall blonde snatched one of the cups up. She shot me a quick smile and an introduction. “I’m Bobbi, you must be Kari.”

 

“Hi,” I suddenly felt very awkward standing there in a group of people I didn’t know. 

 

“Izzy,” the dark haired woman who I couldn’t see earlier offered her name. She took a cup off Jared as well only leaving one left in the tray. “So do we know whats going on?”

 

“Nope,” Jared shrugged. He took the last cup and dropped the tray on an empty chair. “Any ideas?”

 

I looked around the group feeling surprised. Coulson had filled me in on what was happening. So why weren’t they filled in by whoever their superior was? 

 

“Kari?” noting my silence and probably the surprised look on my face, Jared turned to me. “Come on spill it.”

 

“No idea what you’re talking about,” I shrugged trying to make myself look as innocent as possible. “I only just got given a temporary level 6 clearance for this. What makes you think Coulson would tell me?”

 

Jared watched me carefully with a frown on his face. I was never a very convincing liar. 

 

“Natasha is rubbing off on you in more ways than one,” Jared finally said sounding annoyed. “I can’t tell if you’re lying or not anymore. Are they back yet?”

 

“Nope,” I sipped on my coffee.

 

May watched us interact with the smallest smirk on her face. Bobbi and Izzy weren’t bothering to cover their amusement either.

 

“When are they getting back?” Jared asked looking more frustrated by the second.

 

“When they’re finished,” I loved getting Jared riled up over nothing. It wasn’t often I got to do it. He was usually the one that stirred me up by being evasive.

 

“Thanks for the coffee,” Rumlow’s voice came from behind me. He went to snatch the cup over my shoulder and I quickly moved it out of the way. I don’t know if it was reflex or what, but I quickly brought my booted foot down onto Rumlow’s toes. Unfortunately for him, he wasn’t dressed for work yet. He was still in sneakers. My boot made a loud crunch as it connected with his unprotected toes.

 

“Fucking son of a c…..” Rumlow said loud enough to draw everyone’s attention on him. I turned around to see him hopping on one foot, clutching the offending sore foot. He was glowering at me heavily. He wasn’t saved anything from anyone in the room. Muted laughter ripped across the large space. The loudest of all was Jared. At least the ladies standing there with me managed to cover their laughter.

 

“Tsk tsk that’s not a nice word,” I smirked at Rumlow knowing full well the word he was about to drop before he cut himself off. “Even I don’t use that word.”

 

“No you’re appropriate response would have been, got one not one,” Rumlow was still scowling at me. He put his foot down on the ground gingerly testing some weight on it. “Fuck me woman, what have you been eating? I feel like an elephant stomped on my foot.”

 

“Are you calling me fat Rumlow?” I just laughed at him. 

 

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Jared and his group of ladies discreetly stepped away a few paces. It nearly made me roll my eyes. STRIKE and Specialists were like cats and dogs. So rare either of them got along. It hadn’t gone unnoticed by me that Jared didn’t exactly like Rumlow either. While outgoing and charming, Jared was a lot like Clint and Natasha. He only liked a handful of people enough to socialise with them. 

 

“Yeah you’re definitely fat,” Rumlow took a step forward. He was able to put his full weight back on the foot. Idiot. I didn’t stomp on him that hard. “What are you doing here?”

 

“Coulson asked me to come in,” I didn’t offer any more to the explanation. “Its too fucking early for this shit.”

 

“Yes it is,” Rumlow couldn’t keep the grumble out of his voice. “You going to come and sit with the cool STRIKE kids? Or be a loser and sit with the Specialists.”

 

See, cats and dogs. Though I’d hate to put a label on which one was actually a cat or dog. I had a terrible feeling it would be the cause of a war within SHIELD. 

 

“I’m just going to sit in the back corner pulling faces and making rude jokes,” I deflected with a joke. I actually wanted to go and sit with Jared. But I hadn’t seen Rumlow a lot over the last few weeks. I’d see him long enough to say hello and that was it. He’d been one of the first people in SHIELD to actually talk to me. I’d dare say I could even call him a friend now. 

 

“Cool, me too,” Rumlow wasn’t giving me much of an option. “You know you’ve never come out for drinks at JoJo’s yet.”

 

“I’ve been working my ass off,” despite me saying I was going to sit up the back, I found the first available chair and sat down. “I had another mission last weekend. Been clocking some major flying hours. I never knew my life could get so busy.”

 

“From the snippets I’ve heard of whats happening it’s about the get busier,” Rumlow sat down next to me, stretching his legs out in front of him. “Have you been told whats going on?”

 

“Have you?”

 

“I’m a STRIKE leader, of course I have,” the look Rumlow gave me told me it was a pretty stupid question to ask. “Barton and Romanoff back yet?”

 

“Picking them up on the way,” I tucked one leg up underneath me. I took another drink of coffee which Rumlow seemed to have a hard time taking his eyes off. Wordlessly I handed the cup to him. It was like giving a kid a block of chocolate. His entire face lit up and he took a long drink from it.

 

“You know there is a million and ones coffee places on the way here,” I shook my head at him.

 

“Which would have been fantastic if I didn’t leave my wallet at home,” Rumlow handed the cup back to me. He hadn’t drunk that much out of it. “And not even the change in my ash tray could save me this morning.”

 

“Dumbass,” I teased him, but secretly pitied him. If Coulson hadn’t brought me a coffee I think I would have felt like I was doing to die by now. I took another sip and handed him the cup again. “But I’ll at least I’ll be nice and share.”

 

“And I won’t rag on you for having such a girly drink,” Rumlow teased me back. “Never picked you for a vanilla latte kinda girl. Always thought it’d be something like a long black.”

 

The dirty joke I was about to make died in my throat as Director Fury himself came in through the side door at the front of the room. The buzz of chatter around the room died down instantly seeing him standing there. Talk about making an entrance. He didn’t need to speak or do anything. He just stood at the front of the room looking intimidating as hell. Chairs scraped along the floor and people quickly scrambled to sit down. The whole room was silent in less than a minute. 

 

“Right people lets get this show on the road,” Fury’s voice rang out clearly across the silent room. The room darkened and the projector beside him came to life. A zoomed in map with a large circle around in displayed on it first.

 

“Exactly 2 hours ago in the Kunar Province of Afghanistan Tony Stark gave a presentation on his latest weapon, the Jericho Missile in front of the US and Afghan military leaders. 45 minutes after the presentation he left with an escort of 5 vehicles being escorted by USAF personal in humvees.”

 

The projector changed to cutting to pictures of the destroyed humvees. The scene was pure carnage. There wasn't much left except for twisted metal skeletons of what was once armoured vehicles. The bodies had been taken out of the photos but you could mistake the darkened patches on the ground. My stomach clenched uncomfortably at how much blood there really was. Those poor soldiers. This should have just been a routine drive out in the desert. Nothing out of the ordinary for them. But there will be a lot of grieving families today.

 

“So far we have nothing,” Fury’s voice was flat of emotion. “No trace of Stark. No ransom offers. We aren’t even sure what group took him or who they play for. We have a very small window here people. A team of Specialists will hit the ground first to see if we can track any information by any means necessary. STRIKE Teams Alpha, Bravo, Charlie and Delta will follow and act as ground control.”

 

“Who’s in that first team of Specialists?” someone asked.

 

“Jared no doubt,” I muttered under my breath. Next to me Rumlow snickered quietly.

 

“I need 6 volunteers,” Fury continued. “Wheels will be up in an hour. Whoever goes will be meeting STRIKE Team Delta on the way.”

 

A few hands shot up immediately. Not as many as I thought there would be though. Fury had only gotten his 6 volunteers. I guess not all Specialists shared Jared’s excitement for getting themselves buried neck deep in shit all the time. Or a lot of people didn’t want to be stuck with Clint and Natasha on a Quinjet for a few hours. 

 

Jared was sitting a few rows ahead of me. Of course his hand was up. I had no doubt he’d be ready to teleport out in the next few seconds if he was allowed. 

 

“Thank you, Agent Coulson will be running this Op on the ground. Agent Sitwell and Agent Hand will be his back up stateside. I want those who just volunteered to be ready and in a Quinjet by 0400. STRIKE Leaders, 0600. Questions?”

 

The way Fury asked if there was questions made it sound more like a death threat if someone actually did have the balls to ask anything.

 

“We have a lot of government organisations working with us on this one,” Fury looked around the room sternly. “That means we all share information. And we play nice. That goes for everyone.”

 

Was it my imagination or did Fury’s one good eye land exactly where Jared was sitting? The squirm in Jared’s posture told me it definitely wasn’t my imagination. Jared never played nice. This will be a challenge for him. Next to me Rumlow wiped a hand over his face trying to cover the strangled laughter coming from him. I guess I wasn't the only one who knew exactly what Fury was talking about. 

 

“Those who volunteered see Agent Coulson before you go. Dismissed,” at those words everyone jumped to their feet. 

 

Expect for me. I stayed in my seat waiting for Coulson. Obviously I was flying the Specialists there but I needed to know what else I would need to do for the next hour and a half. 

 

“See you in Afghanistan,” Rumlow pulled a face as he got to his feet. “I might even replace half the coffee I just drank.”

 

I shook the cup, finding it empty. We’d been passing it back and forth without me noticing during the briefing. 

 

“Well you know what to get me now,” I chuckled. “See you on the other side.”

 

Rumlow gave me a ridiculous mock salute and sauntered off. Coulson stood up the front with a tablet in his hand, talking to the group of Specialists. Now the room had emptied I could hear him clearly enough. 

 

“Pack for at least 2 weeks, this one could take awhile,” Coulson looked around the group. “Jared I don’t want you teleporting there. You’ll have to fly like everyone else. As a matter of fact I don’t want you teleporting at all for this one. There’s too much a stake when we don’t know who the players are.”

 

“If Kari wasn’t flying I’d be freaking out right now,” Jared crossed his arms looking annoyed. “Fine, I’ll try and be a boring, normal person.”

 

Jared couldn’t be a normal, boring person if his life depended on it. We were both young when we got our powers. Young enough that I don’t remember not having them. 

 

My phone vibrated in my pocket dragging my attention away from the conversation. As I was pulling it out of my pocket it vibrated again. There was one message from Riley and the other was from Natasha. I opened the one from Riley first.

 

_So I just heard we’re flying to Afghanistan, not my favourite place in the world. Do you want me to pack you a bag?_

 

I smiled at my phone. He was so thoughtful. I had enough clothes at his house that packing something for the next few weeks shouldn’t be a problem. I loved how he just said pack a bag. He didn’t even have to ask what to pack me. I trusted him more than enough to know he was thoughtful enough to throw everything in that I’d need. He wouldn’t even be a typical guy and throw nothing but skimpy underwear in there. He’d pack practical clothes. 

 

_Have I ever told you that you’re the best? I’m leaving before you so I’ll see you when we you get there._

 

I couldn’t keep the ridiculous smile off my face as my fingers tapped away at the screen of my phone. I sent the message and flicked back to find the one from Natasha.

 

_Theres a red bag in my locker, can you bring it please? And some cheeseburgers and chocolate?_

 

Red bag I could do. Having enough time to run to McDonalds and buy cheeseburgers might not be on the cards though. I sent her back a quick text.

 

_Yes to the bag and chocolate. Cheeseburgers might be a bit harder but I’ll see what I can do._

 

I could just imagine the pout on Natasha’s face as she read that. Fuck it, I’ll send Jared to get cheeseburgers on his way to get whatever he needed while he was away. I’d be dying for a cheeseburger as well if I’d just spent the last week and a bit chasing an arms dealer around South Africa. 

 

A clearing throat made me look up. Coulson was standing over me, holding an iPad in his hand. 

 

“What do you need to me do Sir?” I said quickly before I could get into trouble. 

 

“Grab whatever you need for a long flight and trip,” Coulson didn’t look angry. Just amused at my total lack of concentration on what was going on around me. “You’ve got an hour.”

 

I scrambled out of the chair. I didn’t need to be told twice. An hour was more than enough time for cheeseburgers. 

 

~ ~ ~

 

It was a very long flight to Bagram base. The stop over to pick up Natasha and Clint made a long flight even longer. They were both so tired they’d passed out as soon as they got into the Quinjet. I barely got more than a mumbled hello from either of them. I couldn’t even tease Clint about the patchy blonde beard he was sporting. The bag of cheeseburgers Jared had so kindly teleported to go and get sat untouched. It wasn’t until we actually landed in Bagram that either of them stirred.

 

At least the flight had been mildly entertaining. Jared had brought his laptop and external hard drive full of movies to keep us amused. While the other Specialists, all guys and none of them bothered to introduce themselves to me, had sat in the back either on their own laptops or tablets mostly typing. With the Quinjet on auto pilot most the way Jared and I enjoyed being a Pixar splurge. I couldn't believe he hadn’t seen Finding Nemo, where Jared was dumbstruck that I’d hadn’t seen Wall-E yet. Being nice for once Jared even let me watch The Incredibles, even though I knew it off by heart. Coulson joined us when Jared decided to put Toy Story on. 

 

As soon as the Quinjet touched down on the tarmac, a group of soldiers in uniform were there to instantly greet us. Headed by Colonial Rhodes himself. Rhodes looked like he’d aged 10 years since I saw him at the gala last weekend. He was still in a sling and limped heavily to Coulson as soon as he walked down the ramp.

 

“Agent Coulson I’m Colonial James Rhodes,” Rhodes offered his hand which Coulson shook. “You’re the first ones here. Follow me please.”

 

I was the last one off the Quinjet. Jared was right beside Coulson listening intently to the conversation between the two men. I didn’t miss the stare from Rhodes that lingered on me a lot longer than necessary. Natasha was still yawning when I caught up to her. I handed her the promised red duffel bag from her locker.

 

“You’re a life saver,” Natasha quickly slipped her arm around my waist in a one armed hug. “The cheeseburger was awesome too.”

 

She must have scoffed it down while I was still shutting everything off in the Quinjet. Clint fell in to step next to me, giving me the same hug Natasha had. One arm slipped around the waist and a brief squeeze. 

 

“You look funny with a beard,” I couldn’t hold it in any longer. Clint was always clean shaven at work. I hadn’t even see hm miss a day. Now he looked like a scruffy teenager trying to grow his first lot of facial hair.

 

“If you can call it that,” Clint chuckled tiredly rubbing his face. “I’m dying for a shower and shave.”

 

I was dying for some sleep but I didn’t voice that to either of them. Neither of them looked like they’d had a decent night sleep since they left. Natasha’s face was paler than normal, looking pinched and drawn. Clint looked marginally better, but not much. It must have been a very rough week. 

 

We’d ended up tagging behind the group a few steps. Even though it was halfway through October it was still hot. Who was I kidding, it was the Middle East. It was always hot. The weather could change in a heartbeat though. We could be sweltering one second and the next a snow storm could blow in. A fierce wind was blowing making my eyes sting even more than they already were from tiredness. I wished I’d had the good sense to throw my sunglasses on my head this morning. Then again I had no idea I’d be flying halfway across the world either.

 

After we exited the runway, cars were waiting for us. Jared, Coulson and Rhodes got in the first one. The other Specialists in the 2nd and 3rd. Leaving the last car just for us. Natasha was asleep on my shoulder the second the car pulled away from the curb. The young Airmen driving the car couldn’t help but to shoot us curious looks as he drove. 

 

“Rough trip?” I asked quietly. Being the skinniest I got squashed into the middle. As always. Clint was leaning against his door, head resting on the window. 

 

“The fucking worst,” Clint’s laugh was strained and tired. “We lost sight of him on the second day. Nat got food poisoning and I got some weird jungle virus that landed me on my back for 2 days. It was pretty fucking miserable. I’ve never been so glad to be pulled off a mission.”

 

“Can’t say I was sad to be picking you guys up either,” I admitted. “It’s been quiet without both of you.”

 

“Aww did you miss us?” Clint raised his head off the window. He looked over to me with a smirk. “We missed you. It would have been good having another set of eyes for this.”

 

“Yes I did miss you, you big idiot,” I chuckled quietly so I didn’t disturb Natasha. She was completely passed out. There was the occasional light snore escaping from her lips. Her curls were were sticking out wildly, one would occasionally bounce up and tickle my nose. “I wish I’d been allowed to tag along. I felt like I did nothing but fly, eat and sleep.”

 

“Loved your work with Jared by the way,” Clint wriggled down on the chair until he was sprawled out leaning his head back against the chair. “It's not often I get to laugh at him getting his ass kicked.”

 

“I did cheat a little bit,” I started to fiddle with Natasha’s curls to give me something to do. Sitting down was making me very sleepy after that flight. 

 

“Not cheating when he was doing it to you,” Clint yawned. It was very contagious. As soon as his mouth closed my body did the exact same thing. “God I need some sleep in a decent bed.”

 

“Heres hoping we get some decent accommodation and not just a sleeping bag and a tent,” I was only teasing. From what I’d googled before we left, Bagram Base was well set up in regard to modern comforts. It housed nearly 40,000 military and civilian personal. I had no doubt we’d be at least comfortable and well fed during our stay here. However long it might be.

 

Clint didn’t get to reply. Our car stopped and the doors opened by more military personal before any of us could react.

 

“Nat,” I gave her a gentle shake. She mumbled in her sleep, wrapping an arm around me tightly. I sighed trying again, this time I shook her harder. I still didn’t get a response. 

 

“Lick her face,” Clint suggested with daring smirk. “Go on, it’ll be funny.”

 

The young looking airmen who’d been our driver coughed discreetly to cover his own amusement. I sent Clint a glare to let him know I was definitely not amused. Or so stupid to do something like that. Instead I let some ice form over my hand, being very careful to keep it out of view. Natasha’s shirt had ridden up slightly leaving a thin strip of bare skin on her stomach showing. I touched my iced over hand on her skin. The reaction was instant. Natasha shot up off my shoulder, spitting at me in Russian. It was so garbled I barely understood a word of it. It took her a second to get any kind of bearings before she focused on my grinning face. Clint was laughing at her, though it was muffled behind his hands. He had the good sense to get out of the car just as I did it. No doubt expecting fireworks. 

 

“I just wanted to sleep,” Natasha buried her head into her hands. “That was fucking mean. I hate the cold.”

 

“Come on,” I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face. “We’re here. You might get a bed now.”

 

“Eh,” Natasha grabbed her bag which was sitting at her feet. I quickly slid out of the car before she started to climb over me. No doubt I needed to watch my back. She’d get revenge on me somehow. The group was waiting for us. Coulson had his arms crossed as he tapped his foot impatiently. 

 

“I’m sorry, are we disturbing you three?” Coulson sounded genuinely annoyed. I suppose a 14 hour flight with no sleep would make me cranky too. We were standing outside what looked to be the barracks. Rows and rows of huts lined the large space. I spied an ablutions block off to our left. A shower would go down pretty well right now. Then again so would sleep. Maybe I could fall asleep while having a shower? It’d be efficient at least. 

 

“Sorry Sir,” Clint said instantly. Natasha and I followed with identical mumbled apologises as well. Jared shot me an amused look. I scowled at him, wishing I could throw something to wipe that look off his face. 

 

“As I was saying,” Rhodes cleared his throat. He was staring right at me making me feel increasingly more uncomfortable with every passing second. “With all the people we are expecting on site, it’s going to be a tight squeeze.”

 

Shit. There goes my thinking that we’d at least have a comfortable bed. 

 

“We’ve had to double up a lot of room space,” Rhodes finally tore his gaze away from me. “I’ll leave it up to your people to decide how they want to use it. This block is mostly yours, but you will have some Special Forces sharing it as well. We expect everyone on base by 0900 today. The briefing will be at 1030.”

 

I discreetly checked my phone, pulling it out of my pocket just enough to see what the time local time was. The sun was up, but other than that I had no idea what time it really was. It was only 0730 local time. We’d have a few hours to sleep, or at least get something to eat before we had to be there. 

 

Rhodes went on to speak about something else but I got completely distracted by the sound of two F-18 Hornets flying overhead. They were flying low and fast, a lot faster than they probably should have being this airspace. The both peeled off to the left, making sharp turns just as another 2 screamed overhead. The noise was incredible. It sent a very familiar thrumming through my body. There were few things more incredible than the sound of a fighter jet roaring overhead. The only thing that could come close was actually sitting in the cockpit and being the one flying it. My eyes followed the jets and it wasn’t until Natasha snapped her fingers in front of my eyes I brought my attention back down to the ground. 

 

“Come on flygirl,” Natasha spoke through her yawn. “Lets get settled. Wheres your bag?”

 

Apparently I had missed an entire piece of conversation. Rhodes and the Airmen with him were already leaving. Not before Rhodes threw another look at me over his shoulder before he got back in the car. I wasn’t sure if he was remembering me from the gala, or the Air Force. 

 

“Riley is bringing it,” I explained. Clint and Jared walked into the room straight in front of us. Natasha climbed the single step into the same room. I was right behind her. Clint and Jared had both already fallen on the single beds. Clint was already sprawled out on one of them, face first. If he wasn’t already asleep, he wouldn’t be far from it. Jared was sitting on his bed, crossed legged typing on his laptop. He’d picked the bed closest to a wall, so he could lean against it. The frowning look of concentration told me not to disturb him in whatever he was doing. 

 

The room was only really meant for one person. But somehow they'd managed to squeeze 4 beds in here. There wasn’t a lot of space to move around. Whoever had arranged the space had left just enough gap to walk between the beds. Still, it was a bed and the air conditioner was running. Life could be a lot worse. 

 

Natasha picked the bed next to Jared, leaving me with the last one against the opposite wall next to Clint. I yawned sitting down on the bed that was going to be mine for the next few weeks. With Clint passed out, Natasha barely keeping her eyes open as she checked her emails and Jared busy I didn’t see the harm in closing my eyes for a few minutes. After all, it could be weeks before I got a chance to have a decent sleep. I curled up on my side, tucking the pillow under my head. 5 minutes is all I needed. 

 

I was woken up by a large amount of cold water splashing on me. I shrieked in surprise and came up spluttering like I was being drowned. When I finally managed to drag my wet hair out of my eyes I found a grinning Natasha standing over me. 

 

“Paybacks a bitch,” Natasha said smugly. “Get up, everyone is here. We have that briefing.”

 

2 hours couldn’t have passed by already. Could it? I swear I had just fallen asleep a minute ago. The nap had done nothing for me. If anything I felt sluggish and heavy. My body took a few goes to actually cooperate with what I wanted it to do. I staggered as I finally got to my feet, still wiping water off my face. 

 

“Any chance Riley dropped off my bag?” my shirt was soaked through. There was no way I could get away with wearing this to the briefing. Natasha just pointed to the end of my bed where a black sports bag was sitting. I grabbed it, pulling out the first available shirt I could find. It was just a black t-shirt with a SHIELD logo on it. But it was good enough. I stripped off my wet top and quickly pulled the t-shirt on, just as Clint barged in the door.

 

“Seriously how long does it take you to get up?” Clint looked a lot better after the small amount of sleep we’d had. So did Natasha actually. 

 

“I had to get changed,” I scowled at Natasha as I tucked my shirt into my pants. “Lets go.”

 

“You knew she’d get you back,” Clint laughed with no sympathy at all. “I told you to lick her. She might have liked it too.”

 

He received a punch from both of us for his smart ass comment. Clint was rubbing both his arms as we walked out of the accommodation block. 

 

Unlike before where the area we were in seemed quiet, it was now teaming with activity. I’d never seen so many government agencies all in the one place. As the three of us walked out of our room and down the street. There were so many people in different uniforms. Walking ahead of us were 3 CIA agents, a little further up I’m sure it was DOD and Homeland Security. They were too far ahead to actually see. Plenty of uniformed military were mixed in with the plain clothes Agents. A sea of different coloured berets signalled a lot of special forces teams mixing in with everyone else. 

 

“Fuck me everyone is here,” Clint glanced around. “I think I’ve seen Rangers, SEAL’s, more government than I ever want to see in one place.”

 

“All this for one guy,” Natasha looked less than impressed. “I get that he’s important but there are bigger things going on in the world.”

 

“Lets hope it was just some idiot group that took him a couple of miles down the road and we find him before Thanksgiving,” Clint shrugged. “I’d really like to spend at least Thanksgiving or Christmas at home this year. One or the other. I won’t be fussy.”

 

I felt bad for Clint seeing the dejected look on his face right now. He’d just spent a week away from his family, and now it was going to be an indefinite amount of time away. I don’t know how he and Laura did it. It’d be hard enough on a relationship, let alone throwing kids into the mix. Riley and I hadn’t even brought up going to his Mom’s place for Thanksgiving again. 

 

The rest of the walk was silent between the three of us. I had no idea where we were actually going but at least there was a big enough crowd to follow. We ended up in a massive auditorium which was already packed. A lot of people were still standing around, but over half of the seats were taken already. With just a glance at each other, all 3 of us made a beeline for some empty seats about halfway down. Just as we sat down a few Marines squeezed in next to us. A few of them openly eyeing off Natasha. I was about to open my mouth and say something smart when I felt a tug on my ponytail. I craned my head around to see a grinning Riley settling in behind me.

 

“Hey there stranger, how was the warm bed?” I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face if I tried. I was getting so sappy. I’d missed him in the half a day we’d been separated. 

 

“It didn’t stay warm for long,” Riley chuckled. “How was your flight here? Our pilot sucked.”

 

The lights dimmed before I could reply. As soon as they did the noise of people scrambling to find a chair was deafening. Those not already sitting didn’t have time to settle in just Rhodes stood out the front of the hall at a podium.

“Right people lets get this started,” Rhodes wasn’t wasting any time. “You all know why we’re here.”

 

My attention was pulled to the side by a tall figure slipping into the row I was sitting in. Jared hurriedly squeezed between people’s legs and the seats in front of him until he found the empty chair next to me.

 

“This no teleporting anywhere is bullshit,” Jared grumbled to me. “Walking sucks.”

 

On the other side of me Clint couldn’t hold his laugh in. A few heads turned towards us,  giving Clint nasty looks. One CIA agent even dared to hold his finger to his lips in an obvious shushing motion. Clint just flipped him off before turning his attention back to the front of the room. The CIA agent threw a murderous look at Clint before he turned to face the front as well.

 

“We don’t like CIA,” Jared murmured under his breath. “And they don’t like SHIELD. Feel free to continue with the old honoured tradition of giving them hell and showing them up every step of the way.”

 

This was going to be a crazy few weeks.


	24. Chapter 24

“Pull my finger.”

“I’m not pulling your finger.”

“Go on, pull my finger.”

“Last time I pulled your finger we had to leave the ramp of the Quinjet open to air it out because it stank that badly.”

“Come on where’s your sense of adventure? Pull my finger.”

I offered my finger to Clint yet again with a grin on my face. He sighed dramatically looking at me in the most pained expression he could manage. It was downplayed by the amusement dancing across his face. He couldn’t hide it with my childish persistence. 

“For a girl, your farts stink,” Clint rolled his eyes before reaching over and pulled on my offered index finger. The hard tug he gave it hurt but I didn’t let it show. Nothing happened. I just sat there smugly proud of myself. Clint frowned at me and tugged on my finger again to no effect.

“Seriously?” He asked shaking his head. He let go of my finger and turned his attention back to the controls. “You just wanted me to pull your finger for no….”

He was cut off by me letting rip the loudest fart I could manage. It was only drowned out by my hysterical laughter. I was laughing so hard I had to brace myself against the control panel to stop myself falling out of the co-pilot seat.

2 weeks. 2 very long and boring weeks of absolutely nothing. I felt we’d flown over the country about a thousand times by now. The long walks of patrols and doing searches by foot were even worse. I’d never accumulated so much damn sand in my clothes. All this and still no sign of Tony Stark. 

Clint and I were doing another sweep of the mountains in the Kunar providence yet again in the Quinjet. We’d already covered this area several times but SHIELD had asked for another sweep of the area for reasons not given to us. A new camera was mounted on the nose of the Quinjet feeding information back to the SHIELD agents at base. Where ever Stark had disappeared to, it was looking more and more like he was dead. It was like he’d simply vanished without a trace. 

Jared and Natasha had gone to talk to one of their contacts about a possible lead. They’d been gone 2 days, leaving Clint and I back on base running surveillance. Which meant we were either flying at 200ft doing sweeps on the Quinjet. Or tagging along with other teams searching on foot. We’d mostly been going out with the other STRIKE teams, but went with a few of the military units as well. I’d never been so bored in my life. 

Clint felt the same way. Our boredom had gone beyond talking about sports or sex. It’d now just dissolved into fart jokes and trying to see who could burp the alphabet out the quickest. It felt like I was back in grade school, but at least it kept us amused. I was letting Clint fly until we turned around to head back to base. We’d settled on taking turns with flying so neither of us went crazy from our boredom.

“What are you going to do when we get back?” Clint asked.

“I’m going to kick you out of the room for an hour so I can have sex with my boyfriend,” I said smartly. “And if that doesn’t happen I’m just going to follow him into the shower and have my way with him.”

That was the other shitty part of being here. Riley and I barely got 5 minutes to ourselves most days. The first night we’d been good and stayed in separate beds. The second night Riley came into the room we were staying in 5 minutes after the lights went out. He didn't say anything, we just squished onto the single bed together. It was a good thing I was skinny and didn’t take up too much room. Jared, Natasha and Clint had all been amazing about discreetly giving us some alone time, usually first thing in the morning. It wasn't much, but those stolen moments alone were precious. Riley had joked this morning about sneaking off base to a hotel for the night.

“I hate you for having your boyfriend here,” Clint said jokingly. “By the time I get home I won’t remember what to do with my wife. It feels like I’ve been away forever this time.”

“I don’t think Laura will let you forgot what to do,” I laughed and felt my cheeks redden slightly at the same time. A few days ago we’d been flying alone again. Clint had the controls and asked me to check his phone when a message came through from Laura. To my ever lasting embarrassment and Clint’s amusement, it’d been Laura sending Clint a dirty message. He swore he didn't know she was going to do it. But the evil smirk on his face led me to believe otherwise. I still couldn’t stop myself blushing when I thought of it. It’d been a very detailed message from the brief glance I’d gotten of it. 

“So when we get back you’ve got my kids for the weekend,” Clint didn’t bother to ask. “You and Natasha can share them. Are you staying for Thanksgiving or not? If we’re home for it that is.”

I really had to discuss that with Riley. We hadn’t made plans about that beyond a few casual mentions. But I was pretty certain I was going back to his home with him for Thanksgiving. Depending on how much time I could get away from work I was even considering swinging by my Grandparents place on the way home. Mom and Dad always spent the weekend for Thanksgiving there, so even if we did an overnight trip it’d get them off my case a bit. Being bored I’d been actually having conversations via email with my Mom. She was dying to meet Riley and I think she was secretly thrilled I was actually managing a relationship. 

“At this stage not,” I felt guilty for turning him down. The brief flicker of disappointment crossing Clint’s face didn’t help my guilt either. “But Christmas I’m all there. What can and can’t I get the kids?”

“Anything that can be used as a weapon,” Clint said straight away. “Cooper likes Lego at the moment. He keeps hinting he wants the Millennium Falcon Lego set. So hint, hint Aunty Kari.”

Clint gave me a nudge in the ribs as he said it. I laughed and jumped away from his prodding elbow. Lego was easy to manage. If it was the Millennium Falcon he wanted, then I was going to be the awesome Aunt this Christmas.

“Lila is a bit more difficult. She changes her mind week to week what she's into,” Clint’s nose scrunched up briefly. “One minute she's all about Barbies and Princess’. The next she’s running around with a Nerf gun. So my guess would be talk to Laura on that one. What do you want?”

“I don’t want anything,” I said quickly to cover my surprise. I hadn’t expected Clint to even consider buying me something for Christmas. I was one of those annoying people to buy for. If I wanted something I always just went and got it myself when I wanted it. I had a complete lack of impulse control when it came to shopping most of the time. So when birthdays and Christmas rolled around I was always stuck on what I actually wanted. My parents usually resorted to buying my gift vouchers.

“Don’t be annoying,” Clint rolled his eyes. “Christmas is a big deal in our house. So presents are a big deal. You’re getting presents whether you want them or not. So if you have a request put it in now. Otherwise you’ll like what your given and thats the end of it.”

“Oh yeah?” I just laughed at Clint steamrolling me. I’d actually have to think of something I wanted now. “What do you want then smartass? And Laura? I already know what to get Nat.”

Natasha and I had a very eerily almost identical taste when it came to shoes and handbags. We were even the same size shoes which made shopping ridiculously easy. I’d spied her adding a pair of Jimmy Choo glitter pumps to a bookmark the other day when she was shopping on her laptop. It was the last pair in that style and the only pair left in her size. With Jared’s help since he knew her password, I logged onto the site and brought them. Then deleted it off the bookmark and the browser history so she’d have a hard time finding the site again. Even if she did, there weren’t any left for her to buy. The bonus was I could steal them anytime I wanted. My credit card cried a little when I paid for them. But I was feeling a bit cashed up at the moment thanks to my last pay being as a full level 4 Agent being a lot more money than I ever expected. 

“Laura loves anything from this beauty place that does all those handmade things like bath bombs, lotions and all that nice stuff,” Clint supplied being surprisingly helpful for once. “They do gift packs. So that’s really easy because she loves everything from there. Don’t tell her, but this year I booked a full day spa for her. She deserves it.”

“Nice,” as well as being helpful, Clint was actually being very sweet as well. It was funny seeing the two sides of him. The loving husband and father, then he slips into the cool headed assassin so easily. The difference was pretty incredible. “What about you?”

“You aren’t allowed to laugh,” Clint glanced at me with a sharp look. “If you promise you won’t laugh, I’ll tell you.”

“I swear I won’t laugh,” I promised. This was going to be interesting.

“I love old cowboy movies,” Clint was defensive straight away. He looked ready to snap at me the second I opened my mouth to giggle about it. “There’s a John Wayne collection coming out.”

“Consider it done,” I didn't need to laugh at that. I could recite kids movies word for word with the amount of times I’d seen them. I was in no position to laugh at Clint’s movie choices. “Ok, my turn to fly. Get out of my seat.”

It took him a minute and a great deal of theatrics to finally give me the pilot seat back. I ignored the huffs of annoyance, the eye rolling and dramatic sighing. I didn’t blame him for not wanting to give up the controls. There was boredom, then there was what we were experiencing now. Without Jared and Natasha here was just making it worse. The gym didn’t give us a lot of opportunities to spar, so we were left with just working out. Clint and I had been jogging around the base most mornings as well. The only good thing was the amount of range time I was getting. I’d happily spend at least 2 hours every day out there with my AWSM. I was getting really damn good with it too. I’d caused a lot of raised eyebrows with my shooting. The compliments I got were nice too. I’d even had a go at Riley’s CheyTac one day. As fun as it was to fire I much preferred the light weight AWSM. It just felt so much nicer in my hands and easier for my to shoot. I shouldn’t complain too much though. At least Clint and I could take a Quinjet out and fly. The rest of the STRIKE teams were even more restricted than we were. Yesterday I caught STRIKE Team Bravo playing baseball with a rock and stick. The game had mostly turned into trying to hit the rock at each other than actual baseball though.

The flight back didn’t take long. It was just on sunset as the Quinjet touched the runway and I powered down. We thankfully had a car to head back to the accommodation blocks. Otherwise it was a very long walk. Clint drove while I mostly annoyed him by throwing anything I could get my hands on in the car. At the moment it was a torn up burger wrapped that I kept pulling pieces off and dropping in his hair. He kept trying to swat me away but his focus was more on trying to stay on the road. 

“If you keep annoying me I’m not going to give you and Riley any privacy after dinner,” Clint threatened as he threw a piece of paper back at me. If he hadn’t been laughing while he said it I might have believed him.

“There are plenty of places we can sneak off to,” I called him out on his bullshit threat. “Natasha and I have a shower block to ourselves.”

Something that seemed to be common place for us now. Natasha and I were the only females in the entire accommodation block. Well the side that we were using. We had an entire ablution block all to ourselves which meant long showers and plenty of hot water. No one besides Clint and Jared were game to come in and use it. Not that it mattered, all the showers were individual stalls. It wasn’t like we all showered together. 

“Oh look at that,” Clint pulled the car up in front of our room. His eyes following a figure in the darkening night. “I’m pretty sure that’s Riley walking into the mens showers right now.”

I followed his gaze. Fuck it, Clint was right. By the time I spotted him Riley was already in the door, his figure shadowed against the light before the door closed. The towel slung over his shoulder gave it away that he wasn’t just going to the toilet. 

“Guess what,” I opened the door and got out of the car. Clint was only half a second after me as he climbed out of the drivers seat. He lent on the roof of the car looking at me expectingly. “I’m just going to go in there.”

“And how are you going to do that?” Clint’s expecting look slipped into a smug grin. “I dare say at this time its packed in there.”

“I’ll just go invisible,” I informed Clint with my own smugness. “Watch me.”

My cockiness could potentially get me into a lot of trouble right now. It wasn’t a long distance to the showers but I’d have to try and slip under the door to get into the actual shower. Not to mention I had to find the shower Riley was using. 

“Off you go then,” Clint jerked his head in the direction of the showers. “Don’t come complaining to me if you get in trouble.”

We had a group of a few different military units in our block as well. It’d only got more crowded when a new unit had arrived today. I hadn’t seen what they actually were though. Not that it made a difference. We had every service here already. If I got caught in the showers I could already hear the lecture coming from Coulson about it. Not to mention it felt like I was breaking the rules in such a horrible way. Fraternisation was made to be such a big deal in the military. It still felt awkward that we were all sharing a room. My brain just couldn’t seem to wrap itself around that no one was caring about it within SHIELD. Evans hadn’t even teased us or said anything about Riley staying in my bed. 

“Fine, I’m going to go have fun,” I hid my twinge of uncertainly with my ego. “Have fun jerking off or whatever you’re going to do while I’m away.”

I didn’t let Clint reply. I had to do this right now otherwise I’d chicken out in a big way. I concentrated, letting the invisibility slide over my body. The feeling of it was strange after not using it for such a long time. I didn’t feel any different, but the mental part of actually maintaining it was a lot of effort. It was a good thing it was dark so no one would have noticed me doing it. 

“I’m going to use the girls showers,” Clint pushed him away from the car with a laugh. “So this is how I get you to practice your powers more? Give you stupid dares.”

I was already walking away when he said it. I knew he couldn’t see me flipping him off but it was such a reflex action now. I jogged to the block, practically bouncing up the 2 stairs that led to the door. Once I got there, my hand poised above the doorknob, I hesitated. This was going to look really fucking weird opening the door and then having it look like no one goes in. Shit, I did not think that one through. I quickly glanced over my shoulder, hoping Clint was still there so I could ask him for help. No such luck, he’d already disappeared. I pursed my lips, my concentration nearly slipping in the effort it took the maintain the invisibility. I was saved by the door swinging open. I quickly jumped out of the way, avoiding getting smacked in the face by it. Slipping around the 2 guys walking out of there, I snuck in without any further problems.

My next problem was finding the shower Riley was in. It was a pretty big ablution block. There was a row of 15 showers and the same amount of toilets. As predicted it was crowded in there. A lot of the showers were running. A few guys were standing at the sink either shaving or brushing their teeth. It was noisy too. A radio was playing in the corner. A few different conversations were being thrown making the room a dull buzz of noise. I stood by one of the empty sinks chewing on the inside of my cheek pondering my next move. 

“Someone needs to tell me who that tall blonde chick is,” one of the guys, who was definitely not a STRIKE member asked. I knew all the STRIKE guys by faces, names were still pretty touch and go with me. But I didn’t recognise him. He was leaning against one of the sinks looking like he was waiting for a free shower. “The one who’s been walking around with that guy who thinks he’s Robin Hood.”

I smacked my hand over my mouth to stop myself laughing at that comment. Wait until I tell Clint that one. I’d be sure to point the guy out as well. Even when we were just flying Clint always had a bow on him. His trick quiver never seemed to leave his back either. Depending on the mood Clint was in when I told him that, the guy just might find himself with an arrow sticking out of his ass.

“That would be Agent Lyngley,” Rumlow’s voice was unmistakable. I peered around the few bodies at the sink to see him standing down the room further. He was sitting on a bench with his feet propped up looking bored as he looked at his phone. At the sound of his voice the guy who had spoken glanced over to him as well. 

“And does Agent Lyngley have a name?” he persisted. “Hang on, isn’t that tall blonde guy Agent Lyngley as well?”

“That’s her brother,” Rumlow didn’t bother looking up from his phone. “Why don’t you ask her yourself?”

Rumlow’s question made me glance down quickly to double check I was still invisible. I could feel the very subtle change in my body when I did it. But standing invisible in a room full of half naked men was making me feel a bit paranoid. I let out a tiny sigh of relief when I reestablished what I already knew. I was still invisible.

“Just wanted to know,” the guy shrugged. “She looks like she’d give you the ride of your life in bed.”

“Hey Riley,” Rumlow raised his voice to be heard over the pouring water. “Hows your girlfriend in bed?”

“Fucking amazing,” Riley’s voice came back from about halfway down the shower stalls. I made a beeline to where I heard his voice come from. “Not that it's really anyone’s fucking business about what she’d be like in bed. Just because she’s a girl doesn’t mean she wouldn’t hand your ass to you on a plate if you tried anything.”

“Sorry,” came the sullen reply. I was too busy quickly glancing under the doors to take much notice of the guy who’d been speaking. I finally located the set of legs that belonged to my boyfriend. There was just about room for me to wriggle under the gap between the floor and door. I was glad to be finally in the cubicle. I didn’t think I could maintain it any longer. 

Riley had his back to me as he was propped against the wall with one arm out to balance himself. His head was bowed slightly leaving the water running in trails down his neck and back. He rolled his neck with a satisfying popping of the joints. The shower had a small changing area with a bench. Riley’s clothes were already on there, so I quickly stripped off and let go of the invisibility as I slipped under the water with him. I wrapped my arms around his waist before whispering in his ear.

“Boo.”

He jumped so much he nearly crashed into the wall. It was only sheer luck that kept him upright. He whipped around, making my arms unwrap from around him. He looked at me wide eyed in fright and shock. 

“Jesus Kari,” Riley whispered before laughing quietly. His shock was replaced by amusement. “How the hell did you sneak in here?”

“My other power,” I wrapped my arms around his neck this time. I went to pull him in for a kiss but Riley pulled back looking confused. “I can turn invisible. Have I never told you that?”

“Beyond you throwing that ball of ice at Jared I haven’t see you do anything. You don’t talk about them let alone show them off,” Riley pointed out. He kept his voice dropped so no one else would hear us. “Can you show me?”

I was almost going to turn him down, but Riley dropped his bottom lip in an over exaggerated pout. His puppy face was a bit too adorable to resist. As hard it was to maintain, I went invisible again. I only held onto it for about 5 seconds before turning visible again. Riley looked absolutely amazed at the small show of it. 

“That’s so cool,” Riley grinned. Any reply I was about to give was cut off by him pulling me back in for my denied kiss from a minute ago. At the touch of his lips against mine the world seemed to shut off around me. Gone was the founding persistent buzzing noise of the commotion around us. All I could feel was Riley’s lips against mine. He tangled his fingers through my hair to pull me even closer, gently pushing me against the shower wall. I used my right leg to wrap around his legs, pushing myself right up against him. The reaction was instant. I could feel him getting hard against me straight away. 

“I’m not too keen on a quickie in the shower with a room full of people,” Riley abruptly pulled away from me. It was like it had just clicked over in his head what we were doing in the situation we were in. “Give me 2 minutes and I’ll be out?”

“How about a blow job?” I teased pulling him back in for another kiss. He dodged me easily, but couldn’t stop himself smiling.

“Just wait,” Riley laughed quietly. “I’ll make it worth your while.”

Riley always made anything worth my while to do with sex. It didn’t help that I wanted sex right here and now though. 

“You could always wash me?” I picked up the bar of soap that was sitting in the soap holder. I held it out to Riley, but didn’t let him take it just yet. “That was fun last time we did that.”

I could see the exact same thought running through Riley’s head as my own. That was a lot of fun what we did last time. I’d been in the shower myself, running a shower puff over my body when Riley came in. Riley had taken it off me and started to run the soapy puff all over me fairly innocently to start with. Having his fingers trail over my body after the puff, kneading out all the muscle knots had me very quickly turned on. When his fingers finally made their way between my legs, even I was surprised at how wet I was. Riley thew the shower puff out of the way, picked me up and pinned me against the wall. Hot didn’t even come close to describing how it was being fucking while pinned against the shower wall. 

Riley looked like he was having a hard time concentrating on anything else but that memory I just pushed into both our minds. Using it to my advantage, I pulled him back in for another kiss. This time he didn’t resist me. It was so easy to get lost when he kissed me. It was like the world stopped around us and I could feel was him. His lips on mine. His hands on my body, one tangled through my hair and the other on my hip pulling me in closer. Close enough that out bodies felt like they melted together. 

“Riley,” Evans voice suddenly cut out across the room loudly. “Still in here?”

“Shit,” Riley whispered pulling away from me. He raised his voice while pulling a face of disgust. “Yep I’m here.”

“Get your ass out of the shower,” Evans called back. “You’re needed. Any idea where Kari is?”

“I’m here as well,” I called out. No point lying about it. If Riley was needed and I was being searched for, then something was about to happen. Hopefully something exciting. 

The sound of my voice in the room brought everything to complete silence. The only thing that could be heard was the sound of water still running and the radio playing. 

“Then get your ass out of the shower as well,” Evans was quick to reply. “Stop preserving water or whatever bullshit excuse you were about to feed me.”

“So busted,” Riley laughed under his breath as he turned the water off. I pouted slightly at my plans being ruined. If nothing else I was at least going to give Riley a blow job in the shower. I hoped whatever we were about to do was going to make up for not getting sex tonight. We both quickly dried off and got dressed in record time. I cursed my own stupidity for doing this as soon as Riley opened the cubicle door. Every set of eyes fell on me as I walked out of the shower, still carrying my boots I hadn’t bothered to put on yet. Riley strode out with a satisfied smirk on his face like we’d just been doing what I wanted to do. I quickly schooled my face into an air of complete indifference. Like I didn’t have a care in the world I just strode out of the mens showers with my boyfriend. Well, I really didn’t care that much. I just hated being stared at. 

Evans was waiting for both of us outside. We didn’t get a lecture, all he did was shake his head at both of us. 

“We might have something,” Evans jumped straight into it. “Coulson is having a mission brief in 20 minutes. Be dressed and ready to go.”

Neither of us needed to be told twice. The words were barely out of Evans mouth and I was already running towards my room to get proper clothes on. Riley right on my heels. I was already down to my underwear by the time I got to my bed, rummaging through my bag for the tactical gear I wore for missions. I still hadn't got a skin tight suit like Natasha. So I was still in black pants with a knee patch sewn into them. A simple black t-shirt with my black SHIELD jacket over my arm. It was currently too hot for the jacket but that could change in a heart beat around here. I shoved my gloves in my pocket, not sure if I’d need them later or not. I was just threading my belt through the pant loops as Clint walked in. He was shirtless, with a towel draped over his shoulder. It was very hard not to stare at Clint when he was shirtless. Riley had an awesome body, but Clint took it to another level. Those arms, taunt chest muscles and perfectly sculpted abs were enough to even make straight men stare. I secretly enjoyed the view, even if it was Clint and his personality attached to the body. He stopped in his tracks as he saw Riley and I getting dressed. A grin quickly grew over his face.

“Fucking awesome, you guys are coming too,” Clint bent down and grabbed a shirt that had been tossed on his bed. He yanked it over his head and grabbed his own black jacket. “Lets go.”

I bounced after Clint far too excited to care that I was acting like an excited 5 year old. I was too busy in my excitement that I didn’t see the group of SEAL’s walking past until I ran smack bang into one of them. It was only Riley being right behind me that saved me from falling on my ass. I swear Clint had stepped aside a second too late to purposely see me crash into them.

“You’re clumsy tonight,” Riley laughed not letting go of my waist where he’d grabbed me. He gave me a brief squeeze in an awkward hug. I quickly mumbled an apology to the guy who’d I’d run into. He just shot my a brief smile and then did a double take. 

“Holy shit, is that you Grimm?” one of the SEALS stopped dead in his tracks to turn and face us. At the mention of that name, most of the guys stopped to see what was going on.

"Holy shit, you’re still alive. I can’t believe no one has shot you yet," Riley let me go with a laugh. He walked into the group and grabbed the guy who spoke in a hug. 

I took that as my cue that I wasn’t going to be welcome in this little reunion. Riley seemed oblivious to anything but the noise of his old SEAL team greeting him. I don’t blame him, those guys would have been pretty tight. I just left them be and caught up with Clint. I could see him doing something on his phone, the screen lighting up his face in the darkness. Just to keep being annoying I launched myself onto Clint’s back and clung to him so I wouldn’t fall off. He barely staggered under my weight. All I got was a laugh and him adjusting my weight so I was sitting up a little higher in the piggy back. He didn’t even need 2 hands to push me up, one and some wriggling from his body was enough.

“Nice try,” Clint laughed putting his phone away in his pocket. “Why am I giving you a piggy back ride skinny ass?”

“Because,” that was the only answer I could come up with. I gave him a kick with my heels. “Giddy up Hawkeye.”

In one fluid motion, Clint bent over and his grip shifted to grabbing me just under the armpit. He flipped me over his head and straight onto my back like I weighed nothing at all. I landed flat on my back in the dirt, looking up at his face looming over me. A second laughter he burst into hysterical laughter. I was only a heartbeat after him. We were such idiots. 

“That was mean,” I tried to scoff at him but I was still laughing too hard. I propped myself up and Clint offered me a hand when I got into a sitting position. I took it and let him haul me to my feet. My hair was still wet from the shower so the dirt stuck right through it. I yanked the ponytail out and quickly shook it out. 

“Funny though,” Clint’s laughter wrangled back to quiet chuckles. “Now you look like you’ve been rolling around in the dirt.”

“I couldn’t even get my quickie in the shower,” I grumbled, but still couldn’t keep the smile off my face. I pulled my hair back up into a very messy ponytail. “So what’s happening?”

I glanced over my shoulder to see Riley and his old SEAL team still a few paces behind us. They were all talking and not paying any attention to us in front of them. I don’t even think they noticed me getting flipped off Clint’s back. If they did they were being amazingly discreet about it.

“I think they found something,” Clint explained with a small shrug. “But it could be nothing as well. So don’t get your hopes up too quickly.”

Fuck it. My face fell slightly at the thought of this being nothing. Here I was thinking we were about to be flying into some action. Literally. I’d be really upset if this was going to be nothing more than another recon flight. 

After a 2 minute walk down the lit road we finally came to the building that SHIELD was running the base of operations out of. It wasn’t anything fancy. Just another hut like the several hundred around the base. Computers and laptops were scattered over the various desks around the room. Most of them were pushed up against the walls to make room for the chairs placed in haphazard rows. Maps and satellite images were tacked up over the walls in seemingly random order. Somehow Coulson had managed to even find a coffee machine somewhere. It was currently buried under a stack of paperwork and photos.

“Everyone sit,” Coulson came through the other door at the back of the room. I’d barely seen our handler for the last 2 weeks. He looked stressed, tired and strung out. While we were bored out of our minds he was running everything back here almost single handedly. I didn’t envy him in the task at all. Evans, Rumlow and a Navy officer in fatigues also walked in. 

Clint and I both sat in the closest chairs available in the front row. Behind us STRIKE Team Alpha, Rumlow’s team, were still filtering though the door with the SEAL team. Boots thumped across the floor as everyone hurried to get seated before they got the infamous death stare from Coulson. The scraping of chairs being pulled across the floor was like nails on a chalkboard as the rest of the guys got seated. The tension in the room could be felt in the air. Everyone seemed to be chaffing at the bit for some action.

“Lights,” Coulson wasn’t wasting any time with pleasantries or extra words. Someone at the back quickly jumped to their feet and turned the lights off. As the room plunged into darkness the projector came to life, bringing up satellite photos.

“These images were sent back to us courtesy of Agent Barton and Agent Lyngley see of the mountain ranges in the Kunar providence,” Coulson began.

Clint nudged me with his elbow. We both exchanged near identical smug grins to each other. So this afternoon’s flight wasn’t a total waste of time. We may have actually found something useful for once.

“As you can see,” the screen zoomed in on one of the mountain ranges. Coulson paused for a second not looking pleased at what was on the screen. “What we found isn't much but it's the best lead we have so far.”

It took me a few seconds of squinting and tilting my head to actually see what Coulson was talking about. The murmurs of people around us asking what it was made me glad it wasn’t just me who couldn’t see it clearly. But it was there. Amongst the blurry grains of the blow up image it was something that looked like a few crates stacked up with the Stark Industries logo on them barely visible. The material that had been covering the crates looked like it’d been blown away by accident. Someone was doing a very clever job of keeping it disguised. 

“This area is pretty treacherous,” Coulson continued. He turned away from the projector scanning the dark room. “It’s a mountain range that isn’t very accessible, even on foot. There’s a lot of ravines, caves and things we don’t even know about there.”

I pursed my lips looking at the satellite image that had been zoomed out again. Coulson wasn’t wrong there. The entire picture looked like something out of every mountain climbers wet dreams. But for us average people who weren't into that sort of thing, it was looking like a new form of hell to try and get around. We’d have a distinct disadvantage if there were hostiles in those mountains. We would be stumbling around in the dark in the unknown terrain where the hostels would know every nook and cranny. 

“I’m currently asking a lot,” Coulson pursed his lips, crossing his arms. He leant against the desk, his eyes falling directly on Clint and I. That look made a nervous flutter settle in my stomach. “But this is all we have to go on. I need a STRIKE team in there to chase this possible lead down. Lieutenant Commander has volunteered some of his DEVGRU Gold Squadron to provide support.”

Impressive. It seems we’d have the Gold Knights joining us. We only get the best to join in. I glanced over my shoulder to see the SEAL men behind us. Another thing I learnt about my quiet boyfriend. I didn’t even know what squadron he’d been in. My eye caught Riley who was sitting amongst them. The only member of Bravo team in the room. He didn’t notice me looking at him. He was having a very quiet conversation with the guy who’d greeted him on the walk here. 

“Agent Rumlow and Lieutenant Commander Maning will run through the specifics,” Coulson pushed himself away from the desk. He gave a small nod to Rumlow and Lieutenant Commander Maning who was standing patiently behind him.

“Right,” Rumlow took a step forward. “Since the intel we have is sketchy this is going to be made simple.”

Rumlow fumbled with the remote for the projector for a second. A muted laughed came from where most of his team were sitting.

“Shut up,” Rumlow growled. There was no menace behind it. More of a resigned grumble for having to say it for the millionth time. “My team doesn’t need to point out my lack of skill with anything electronic.” 

That brought a snicker of amusement from Clint and I. The SEAL team didn’t bother to cover their own quiet laughter either. Finally the screen displayed another zoomed out satellite photo of the area. 

“The plan is to have cover on these 4 points,” Rumlow pointed out a square on the map. “We believe that will keep the team covered while we try and find a way down into the ravine where the crates were spotted.”

Though much detail couldn’t been seen on the image given the terrain that plan made sense. It’d give the team that was going there the security to move at a decent pace with cover. In our boredom Clint had been schooling me on a lot of different tactics used in missions like this. Sniper and counter sniper tactics were a favourite and passionate topic of his. I’d thoroughly enjoyed our discussions and eventual debates when I got a little more confident on the matters.

“Covering will be Agent Hunterton,” Rumlow pointed to the top right hand corner. “Agent Barton.”

Clint got the left hand top corner. He just nodded at Rumlow. Gone was playful Clint, straight away he was straight into serious mode. 

“Agent Lyngley,” Rumlow pointed at the bottom left corner.

I glanced around the room to see where Jared had snuck in. Then it smacked me right in the face. Jared wasn’t here and Rumlow was referring to me. In fact Rumlow was looking straight at me while I looked around like an idiot. 

“Excuse me?” I couldn’t stop the words slipping out of my mouth. The rest of my verbal diarrhoea was stopped by a sharp kick to my calf by Clint. All of a sudden the entire room’s focus was on me. 

“Is there a problem Kari?” I could smack the smug look of Rumlow’s face. I opened my mouth to reply but found it shut just as quickly. I looked over to Coulson who gave me a small shake of his head. I took it as my cue to be quiet. Though I wasn’t sure if it was that he didn’t agree with it, or just to be quiet. Rumlow was looking at me with both eyebrows raised waiting for a reply. 

“Nope,” I said simply. “Sorry for the interruption.”

I heard a cough behind me. I had no doubt it was Riley laughing at me and my big mouth. I forced my eyes to stay staring forward and to keep listening. Rumlow named another guy. By the sound of annoyance coming from behind me I guessed it wasn’t one of his team. I didn’t know the marksman for Alpha team but I wouldn’t be surprised if someone’s ego just got trodden on. 

“The rest of us will following through here,” Rumlow pointed to a spot on the map. “There aren’t any known hostiles in the area but we aren’t taking any chances. This will be a live fire mission. Take hostages if needed. We’ll be landing about 2 miles away and hiking in our foot. Any questions?”

There were various mumbles responses. Lieutenant Commander Maning spoke up for the first time. 

“Like the Agent’s have said, we don’t have a lot to go on,” Maning looked around the room. “So lets get in boys and see what we can find. We leave in 45 minutes. Dismissed.”

“You heard the man,” Rumlow added. “Gear up. Agent Lyngley you can wait here a second.”

The sound of chairs scraping across the floor was deafening. Everyone seemed to be in a rush to get to the armoury and back here. At the dismissal I felt my nerves kick in at last. Shit, this was suddenly very real. I was going to be out there by myself in a very real situation. When was I going to be able to be on a mission and not get nervous before it? I sat in my seat watching the room empty around me. Clint waited until everyone else left before getting up as well.

“I’ll wait outside,” Clint gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “We’ll head to the armoury together.”

As soon as Clint walked off, I got up and walked to the front of the room. Rumlow, Maning and Coulson were all up there conversing quietly between themselves. I stood a few paces away feeling out of place. I absently picked at my nails waiting until their conversation was finished. It only took a minute until both Maning and Rumlow left. Rumlow gave me a hard clap on my back as he walked past. I smacked him in the arm, which ended up being nothing more than a glancing blow. He was already nearly out of reach before I reacted. I didn’t miss the curious stare that Maning gave me as he watched Rumlow and I interact. It wasn’t until they both left the room that I made my way closer to Coulson.

“Sir,” I greeted Coulson cautiously. I couldn’t stop myself picking at my nails out of nerves.

“Don’t look so surprised,” Coulson’s face seemed to light up at the apparent look on my face. The stress and worry from the last 2 weeks melted away from his own face. “It was actually my suggestion. You had to fly there anyway so it won’t hurt to sit you up where you’d be out of trouble.”

“That’s all?” I felt instant relief at his words. My nerves disappeared straight away. My hands dropped back down to my side.

“That’s it,” Coulson confirmed. He looked at me with a wry smile. “Sorry to disappoint. This might not even be anything. But it's the only lead we have. Go get ready. I’ll have the coordinates for the drop ready for you when you get back.”

“Thank you Sir,” I smiled back, mine was more exited than Coulson’s though. “And thank you for trusting me with this.”

“Your own actions have made this happen,” Coulson shrugged off my thanks. “Off you go.”

I didn’t need to be told twice. It was hard to keep the bounce out of my step as I walked out the door. As promised, Clint was waiting outside for me slumped against the wall. At the sound of my boots leaving the last step of the hut he pushed himself upright. We didn’t speak on the walk to the armoury. Clint seemed lost in his own thoughts. I kept bouncing between excitement and a touch of nerves. 

The armoury was busy when we got there. I found myself completely lost on what I actually needed. I stood in the doorway looking around at the organised chaos of it all.

“Body armour,” Clint’s hand landed on my shoulder He gently steered me away from group of people. “You might not need it, but better safe than sorry.”

I let Clint guide me to where it was stored. He rummaged through the racks of vests until he came out with one that looked small enough to fit me. He tossed it to me. I barely caught it and nearly staggered under the weight of it. The Interceptor body armour weighed an easy 20 pounds with the ceramic plating in it. I didn’t complain. I just pulled it over my head and wriggled into it. I zipped it up and adjusted the side straps so it actually fit snugly. While I adjusted it Clint walked to the back of the room. He came back with the case that held my AWSM. I’d gotten really bored one day and decorated it with silver stars and written my name all over it. No one else used it so I’d claimed it as mine. He’d already strapped his quiver on his back and the retractable bow was slung over his shoulder. As usual P30’s were strapped to both his thighs. 

“This is yours,” Clint put the case at my feet. He undid one of the thigh holsters he had and handed it to me. “So is this, and this as well.”

Clint reached down and pulled a knife from his right boot. He held it out to me, handle first. It was 6 inches long, about an inch wide with a plain black handle. I looked at the knife and then back up to his face in confusion.

“Trust me it comes in handy,” Clint offered it to me again with a small grin. “Just don't drop it on yourself. Its pretty sharp. Just stick it in your boot.”

I did as I was told. I bent down and carefully arranged the knife down the side of my boot. It was awkward enough to bend with the body armour on. The feel of the blade lying flat against my ankle was a very odd sensation. But I wasn’t going to doubt Clint. He’d know from experience about knives coming in handy. I’d seen him and Natasha both spar with their knives. Impressive didn’t come close to describing watching them work with a blade.

“Spare mags are in your case,” Clint tapped it with his foot. “For your sidearm as well. Are you ready?”

I was the most ready I would ever be. I squared my shoulders, letting out a small breath. I let the small flutter of nerves disappear and the excitement take over. At long last something was happening.


	25. Chapter 25

I scrambled up the rocky slope, swearing under my breath in Icelandic as I skidded and slipped the entire way. If it wasn’t for my gloves I wouldn’t have any skin left on my hands. By the time I’d reached the rocky outcrop that was my position I swore I would have climbed the hill at least 3 times over with the amount of times I’d slid back down it. The knee pads on my pants were rough and had gouges in them now from the near vertical climb. I was sweating like crazy and it took me half a minute to catch my breath before I could actually set myself up. I unslung the AWSM from my back and put it on the ground, unfolding the stand. Once it was resting on the stand I lay behind it to zero my scope. While I was fiddling with it I reached up and opened the communication link on my ear piece.

“Lyngley in position,” I said trying to make sure I didn’t sound too breathless. 

“We have to get you a callsign,” Clint’s voice came over the radio. “Something better than Knuckles. I’m not calling you Knuckles.”

From his own steady breathing my guess Clint was in position. I hadn’t heard him say it while I was climbing. But I probably wouldn’t have heard much over my own swearing and pounding of my heart.

“There is nothing wrong with Knuckles,” I muttered under my breath still fiddling with my scope. A quiet chuckle was the only reply I got. I reached up and hit the button to shut the mic off again while I waited. My breathing gradually slowed down to a normal pace as I stared out into the darkness. 

There was nothing here. Just a barren landscape of mountains, rocks and sand. There wasn’t even any vegetation growing. No signs of life at all. Whatever we’d seen on those satellite videos must have been nothing. There was no way anyone could be out here and survive. I couldn’t see much in front of me. There was no moon out, the stars didn’t give us any light either. The teams below us moved in darkness and complete radio silence. While I flew us here in the 30 minutes it took both teams had run through the strategies for tonight. It should all be very simple and straight forward. 

“Hunterton in position,” Riley’s voice broke through my thoughts. I jumped at the sound of his voice. I’d been so caught up in my own thoughts I wasn't paying attention.

“Come on Grimm,” the other voice teased. “We didn’t give you a nickname for you to dump it as soon you join SHIELD.”

The SEAL sounded out of breath giving away he wasn’t in position yet. I grinned at his taunting as I glanced over towards where I knew Riley was. It was nothing but black in front of me. Even in the scope I wouldn’t be able to see much. He was a good half mile away from me. Clint had warned me on the flight here not to use my night vision too much. The brightness of it gave any kind of vision adjustment away so if I had to look away I wouldn’t be able to see shit. For now I just had to sit there in the darkness while my eyes adjusted and deal with it. I couldn’t help myself, I reached up and opened my mic again.

“So Grimm, as in Grimm Reaper?” I asked with a grin.

“They’re SEALS not poets,” Riley grumbled quietly. “I didn’t pick it.”

“That was a line from Doom,” I laughed quietly enough that he wouldn’t hear it. “Except it was Marines.”

“I have never seen that movie,” Clint cut in. “I’m downloading it when we get back.”

“Panther in position,” the SEAL finally said. “That’s a shit movie. Funny though.”

“I haven’t seen it either,” Riley spoke up. “Looks like its beer and movie night when we get back.”

I wasn’t going to argue with that. Add pizza into the mix and it’d be a perfect night. I’m sure I could talk Jared into heading to New York for a good old fashioned New York style pizza. Meatlovers with extra cheese was sounding incredible. 

“STRIKE moving out,” Rumlow’s voice came over the radio. “Eyes sharp people.”

I took that as my cue to shut up and start doing some work. I reached up and tapped the mic on the earpiece off again. From now on it’d only be used if circumstances dictated it. I stared out across the darkness again. My eyes were finally starting to get used to the dark more and I could pick out more shapes rather than just shadows. Where I was position I was overlooking a massive ravine. It was shaped like a bowl with no protection or cover in the half a mile wide space. There wasn’t even any decent sized rocks throughout it. I could imagine in heavy rainfall it could easily be turned into a lake in there. Perhaps in the wet season that actually happened. But right now it was dry. Just a big bowl of sand and dirt. The night air was cool, but not freezing. 

The sound of rocks sliding behind me pulled my attention away from the ravine in front of me. I glanced over my shoulder into the blackness, listening hard. A slight wind stirred up making the sweat on my body freezing cold. Shivering in discomfort I pulled my attention back to the front. It was nothing. Probably just some loose rocks from my climb up here falling back down the slope. 

I scratched the side of my head glancing through my scope. I’d made sure everything was turned off so it was just acting like a regular scope. Again all I could see was rocks and sand. It was a boring landscape. I moved my AWSM around to the left to try and get a better view of the team moving across the ravine. It was hard to see but black shapes could be seen jogging along. A flutter in the shadows behind them caught my attention. Frowning I quickly switched the night vision on my scope. It was almost blinding after being in complete darkness for so long.

But there it was. The flutter of movement was 3 other men trailing along in the shadows. All armed with AK-47’s. They were sticking as close as possible to the ravine walls to be in the shadows. With how dark it was and their position no one would have been able to see them.

I reached up to quickly turn my earpiece back on. As soon as my hand brushed my ear, a hard grip seized my wrist and forced my arm in an unnatural position. Before I could let out a whimper a weight dropped on the middle of my back and an arm wrapped around my neck, choking me. The arm was around my neck so tightly I couldn't get any kind of sound out. Panic made me claw frantically at the arm with my free hand trying to get free from the grip. My attacker didn’t even need to keep the hold on my other arm any longer. The choke hold I was in was enough to make stars dance around my vision.

Sweat dripped from my attackers arm onto my skin. At the feeling of that drop of sweat hitting me it was like something snapped in my body. There was no moisture to use in the air for my power to be of any help. But my attacker was absolutely dripping in sweat. My breath misted in front of me and suddenly my mind was clear on what I had to do. I reached up, digging my nails into his arm I let the moisture on his skin fuel my power. Ice crystals formed on my fingers right before I let the cold take over and pushed everything I could focus onto his skin. 

The effect was instant. He screamed, pulling away with a frozen arm. It was enough for me to suck in some desperately needed oxygen and roll onto my back. My hands reached for my thigh holster without a fumble, drawing the P30 out. I hesitated getting my finger towards the trigger as I stared at my attacker. Dressed in robes with his face fully covered there was no distinguishing features about him. In the dark of night I couldn’t even see his eyes. My hesitation was my undoing. He kicked the P30 from my slippery hands and it skidded down the side of the ravine. Well trained and efficient, I barely blinked before the AK-47 that was slung around his body was now in his hands and pointing towards me. The breath stopped in my chest staring down the muzzle of the assault rifle. 

My limbs felt like lead as I forced myself to move. It was a fumble of limbs skidding everywhere as I scrambled for traction on the rocky ground. The only thing I could reach for was his legs, so I tackled him as hard as I could. It wasn’t the smartest move on my behalf, the ledge I’d nestled myself on wasn’t very big. The force of me smacking into my attackers legs sent us both toppling back down the rocky hill from where I came up. We were separated almost instantly as we skidded off. I tried to curl myself into a ball to make myself as small as possible incase his rifle went off. By some minor miracle it didn't and we both reached the bottom. I smacked my head against a rock as I stopped leaving my dazed and with an instant pounding headache. It hurt so badly I wanted to stay curled up on side in the fetal position to make the pain go away. It was only seeing the attacker scrambling to his feet which snapped me out of it. He was upon my nearly instantly, hands open ready to close around my throat again. His face covering had fallen off in our skid down the hill. Eyes wild and angry his face was twisted into a snarling rage. His raised his boot ready to stomp on whatever part of my body he could land it on.

I rolled away, choking on a mouthful of sand as I hit the ground to avoid being kicked. On my back I could see him looming over the top of me. His rifle was gone so it was just us and our bare hands. My fingers desperately scrambled for the knife that was stuck in my boot. I managed to yank it out as the attacker launched himself at me again. He seemed absolutely determined to strangle me, or at least try and stop any noise escaping from me. I was too slow to stop him. Even the adrenaline coursing through my body wasn’t any help. This time he fell on me, both hands around my neck squeezing hard. I kicked and flailed underneath him before the grip in my left hand tightened around the object I’d forgotten about in the brief struggle. The knife.

Desperate for air I plunged the knife into the first thing I could reach. It wasn’t until blood seeped down my hands I realised I’d actually plunged it into the side of his neck. A spray of blood erupting from his mouth, soaking my face and neck. The hot liquid felt scalding as I could only stare in horror and surprise at what I’d just done. His grip on my neck loosened and with another choke of blood dribbling from his lips. He fell on me, trapping me underneath the lifeless body.

I kicked and flailed underneath him in panic. It took me a few seconds to actually push the body off me. As he landed with a thump in the sand I scrambled away as quickly as possible. Wide eyed horror dawned over me at the realisation of what I’d just done. My hands were slick with blood which I frantically wiped on my pants. My heart was racing. I could feel it echoing all the way into my head as I stared at the dead body. My teeth began to chatter as I pulled my knees into my chest, hugging my legs. 

Don’t freak out. Don’t freak out.

I chanted in my head as I couldn’t pull my eyes from the dead body. Even in the black of this night I could see the sand around him turning dark with all the blood seeping out. It wasn’t until the loud crack of the CheyTac rang out across the quiet night air I came to my senses.

“Contact, your 10 o’clock,” Clint’s calm voice filled my ear. “More heading in. It's an ambush.”

My body reacted before my mind caught up. Before I knew it I was scrambled to my feet, yanking the knife out of the side of the attackers throat and climbing back up the hill. I jammed the knife in my belt, not game to stop to get it back into my boot. As I reached the ridge a yell to my left snapped my attention over there. To my horror there was a group of 5 enemies picking their way up to my ridge. Where they’d come from was anyone’s guess. The sound of bullets pinging off the rocks around me made me realise I needed to get out of here in a big hurry. I dove for cover, taking even more skin off my body as I felt my pants rips under the sharp gravel. As I crawled across the ground yanking my AWSM off its stand. I didn’t bother to grab the stand, it would only slow me down. I swung it around towards the group closing in on me.The warning shot from a .338 Lapua Magnum round would make most sane people get out of the way. I didn’t look through the scope. Trying to aim was pointless in the time I had to make this happen. Tucking the rifle into my shoulder I cringed knowing the inevitable kick that was going to happen from it. Grabbing the bolt I pushed up and pulled it back. Sliding the bolt forward to chamber a round, I pushed down and had my finger on the trigger to fire. It was muscle memory now. I didn’t even have to think about doing it.

The shot was loud, making me deaf for half a second in my right ear. I didn’t even feel the recoil on my shoulder, but I knew it was going to hurt like hell later. I’d left it sitting out a quarter of an inch too far and the fucker kicked like a mule. But it had its desired effect. The shots raining down on me stopped, giving me enough time to high tail it out of there. Slinging my sniper rifle over my shoulder I reached up and turns my mic back on the comm link while I launched myself as fast as I could go over the edge. I slid for a few feet before my feet finally cooperated enough for me to run.

“My position is compromised,” I could barely get the words out I was so out of breath. The mad run I was doing down the slope towards Rumlow’s STRKE team and the SEAL’s wasn’t helping either. The sounds of bullets pinging off the rocks around me kicked my feet into another gear as I zig zagged like crazy hoping I wouldn’t get hit. 

“Kari,” Riley’s voice came into my ear. “Duck.”

I slammed into the ground the second he said it. Just as I thew myself down, something hit me hard in the shoulder blade. It felt like someone had thrown a rock at me as hard as possible. The body armour took the brunt of the hit but it still hurt like hell. I had no doubt whatever hit me just left a fucking huge bruise. With the amount of rock being kicked up with the bullets hitting them I had no doubt it was just a ricochet. 

Lying on the ground I could finally hear all the chaos around me. I don’t know how I didn’t notice the sound of gunfire before. Or the shouts from both sides. My mind seemed to have shut everything out but my own survival. I was so not trained well enough for this situation I just found myself in. A figure came from the dark at speed. Rifle raised and a few shots were let off. The figure got close enough for me to make out it was Rumlow. He grabbed me by my body armour and yanked me back to my feet.

“Up, up, up,” Rumlow commanded me hastily. He didn’t wait until I was fully on my feet before dragging me along. He’d lifted me completely off by the ground just by pulling on my vest. Fuck me I needed to either put some weight on, or these boys needed to stop lifting so many weights. He pushed me forward so I was in front of him. I didn’t need to be told twice. It took a few paces for my legs to work again into something that resembled more like a calf trying to run for the first time than an actual run.

“Where’s your sidearm?” Rumlow asked me loudly. His Steyr was raised and he was retreating backwards as quickly as I was running forward. The group that had been pursing me seemed to have stopped firing towards me now. There was still plenty of gunfire going on around us, but not raining directly towards us.

“It got knocked out of my hands,” the excuse sounded weak, even if it was the truth. Before I could keep going to explain what had actually happened something whizzed directly past my face. It’d been so close I felt the heat of it mark a trail across my cheek. I jerked back and stumbled into Rumlow. A soft thump of whatever it was hitting the sand came from only a foot away. Both of our heads snapped in the direction of what landed. My eyes widened in horror seeing a Stark Industries logo sticking out of the sand. It was attached to a small bomb. 

The world seemed to stop around me. I was only vaguely aware of Rumlow grabbing me as if to push us both down on the ground. Every felt like slow motion as that bomb just stuck out of the sand, taunting us of our fate about to come. There wouldn’t be much left of us when that thing goes off. 

Adrenaline does very funny things to your mind. My body should have been telling me to run like hell as fast as I possibly could. Instead, I raised my hands, not even sure why I was doing it until I felt ice forming on them. The very little moisture in the air seemed to all come together right in front of me as like it was whispering to me what I needed to do. The whisper was too quiet for my brain to comprehend but my body instantly took over. My sub conscious seemed to know exactly what to do even if I didn't. I was just a passenger in my own body. A wall of ice appeared in front of us just as the bomb went off. In all my years I’d never been able to conjure so much ice with so little moisture around me. I don't even know where it was coming from. I could feel the ice melting and trying to shatter from the kinetic shock that was blasted back to us. I kept my hands pushed up against it as hard as I could feeling my power surge through them strengthening the wall from shattering. The melting ice hardened instantly under my hands, pushing out around Rumlow and I. 

It seemed like hours that the ground stopped shaking around us from the blast of the bomb. I’d fallen to my knees, my hands still pushed up against the wall of ice I’d created. My ears were ringing. I couldn’t hear anything at all. I don’t know if I was gasping for air, or holding my breath. Either way my lungs were screaming at me for more oxygen. I couldn’t feel any part of my body except the palms of my hands. They were tingling from the cold of the ice. 

Rumlow’s hand shaking me hard finally brought me back to earth. I had to shake my head to get everything to come back into focus. He was standing to the side of me, lips moving but I couldn’t make out what he was saying. I was seeing double for the first few seconds, blinking stupidly to get my bearings. 

“Come on, gotta move,” Rumlow’s voice finally reached me. He didn’t wait for me to respond, he just grabbed me by the vest and yanked me to my feet. My legs still didn’t want to work. I collapsed against him as soon as I tried to take a step. Rumlow didn’t miss a beat, he slung an arm around my shoulder giving me support to lean on him. I didn’t miss the firm hold he still had on my vest which stopped me from falling over once we started to move. It took a few steps but my land legs finally came back to me. I was able to half walk, half run with him back to the group.

“Your good, just keep one foot in front of the other,” Rumlow instructed me as we made our way back. “You can freak out later but right now you need to hold your shit together.”

That made me laugh. It came out more like a strangled cough but at least it was something. Rumlow glanced over to me briefly with a small grin at the sound. 

“See you’re laughing, your fine,” Rumlow picked the pace up a little more, forcing me to wobble faster beside him. “Seriously, of all the places to get compromised it had to be yours didn't it?”

“You put me there asshole,” I rasped out. My throat was so dry. It felt like I’d swallowed half a desert full of sand in it. I hadn’t noticed until now how incredibly thirsty I really was. I couldn’t even conjure any spit my mouth and throat were so dry. Any supplies we had, such as water were all back in the Quinjet. Still 2 miles away. I’d just have to suck it up until then. 

“Your handler put you there,” Rumlow corrected me. “I only suggested it’d be good for you to get out of the Quinjet. You know, see the world and visit exotic places and all that bullshit SHIELD likes the sprout to get us to do stuff we don't want to do.”

That made me laugh again. A second later I wish I hadn’t of because my body decided to give me a lung rattling coughing fit. I would have fallen down if it wasn’t for Rumlow’s support. The last few steps to get back to his team and the SEALS ended him with him dragging me along while I coughed uncontrollably. It sent a wave of pain down my back where I’d been hit by the ricocheting rock earlier. The ring of Agents and SEAL’s parted as we reached them as Rumlow dragged me into the cover of the middle of the group. Even when I stopped coughing I wasn’t given a chance to slow down. I knew we needed to keep moving. I could see hear and see all the fire going on around me.

“Lets get the fuck out of here,” Rumlow raised his voice. With his free hand he pushed it up to his ear. “This is SHIELD Team Alpha with Gold Knights. Mission has been compromised, ordering immediate evac of all personal. Do you copy base?”

I couldn’t hear anything in my ear at all. Rumlow didn't pause while he spoke. He kept me supported with his free arm, his Steyr slung around his back. Unlike my internal freak out I was keeping squashed down, he looked calm and confident. His stride didn’t falter, even with my unsteady feet slowing him down. I’m pretty sure he could have picked me up with one arm and held me out without missing a stride. It took me a few minutes but I was finally steady enough on my feet to shrug his grip off my shoulders. 

“You good?” Rumlow asked before actually moving his arm.

I nodded, I didn’t trust myself to speak yet. Rumlow dropped his arm, but didn’t look very convinced I was fine without it. I just kept moving. I wasn’t sure how I was still going but my body just kept following. I couldn’t see Clint anywhere. Or Riley. I didn’t even know what was going on. There was the occasional burst of fire from somewhere but everything had gone quiet as we high tailed it out of there. Despite saying I was fine, Rumlow stuck no more than a pace away from me at all times. If I started to lag he was there giving me a gentle shove to keep going. I couldn’t pay attention to anything more than keeping my feet moving one in front of the other.

“Quinjet just ahead,” Rumlow gave me a gentle smack on the chest of the body armour to get my attention. “You good to fly?”

The Quinjet was sitting uncloaked about 200ft in front of us. I’d turned the cloaking off when we landed because all of our scans showed no hostiles in the area. We hadn’t even picked up any IR signatures. That’d been one big lie. 

“Where’s Hawk?” I deflected. I wasn’t sure if I could keep my head straight enough to get us in the air. I must have hit my head a lot fucking harder than I thought earlier on. We’d pulled to a halt. Everyone around us breathing heavily, but still on guard. I wasn’t so out of it I missed everyone’s rifles still raised scanning through the night. 

“He’s coming,” Rumlow jerked his head backwards. He pulled his own sidearm from the holster on his leg offering it to me. “Providing cover for our rear. Same with Riley. You were the only one they found.”

Great. My lack of ability to defend myself just compromised the entire mission. I had a fucking sniper rifle on me. Why I didn't just stand there and create a whole lot of pink mist from the small group of enemies coming down on me? I knew how quickly I could let shots off with it. I knew my accuracy was good enough to do it. So why did I run? I could have taken out a lot of people if I’d stuck to my ground and done what I was there for. To provide cover. Not to shit myself at the first problem and run out of there. I couldn’t stop the angry tears from welling up in my eyes. I was such a fucking idiot to think I could come out here and do this. My cockiness could have gotten us all killed. 

“Hey,” Rumlow prompted me bringing my head back into this conversation. “Whatever is going on in your head right now doesn’t matter. We need to get out of here. So can you fly or not?”

“Yeah I can….” I didn’t get to finish my sentence. The air around us suddenly erupted into a bright light. A second later the Quinjet exploded. 

The blast wave knocked me clear off my feet. I blacked out for a few seconds because one minute I was falling to the ground. The next I was rolling onto my side coughing and spitting up mouthfuls of sand. My lungs felt like they were on fire as I drew in a few ragged breaths while trying to get my bearings. My hearing was gone again. All that was in my head was a loud ringing sound. I tried to push myself onto all fours but my balance failed me. I ended up back on the ground, my hands clutching at the sand as my head swam in my discombobulation. My vision swam around me as I tried to focus on anything I could. Right now it was a SEAL trying to get to his feet to my left. My eyes slid shut on their own accord. At least in the blackness I wasn’t feeling so dizzy I could throw up. My head ached. The entire left side of my body felt like Natasha had been repeated punching it. I just couldn’t make my body do anything right now except lay here disorientated and in pain. It wasn’t hard to give into the darkness of unconsciousness that was begging me to join it. I knew I should stay awake, but a few minutes wouldn’t hurt. Would it?

“Kari,” a voice finally reached my ears. It only felt like seconds had passed. “Come on, eyes open.”

My body dragged itself away from the edges of sleep. I still couldn’t open my eyes. I could barely focus on the voice that was talking to me. Everything sounded so tinny and robotic. I squeezed my eyelids togethers tighter a bit more, trying to make them work enough to pry open. A gentle tap on the cheek from a very calloused hand made them finally pry open.

I was lying on my back. Something my mind hadn’t registered until my eyes actually opened. It took a few blinks but Clint’s face finally came into focus. He was kneeling over me, worry clear in his blue eyes. His hand was laying against my cheek still as he kept my head in place so I could look him in the face clearly. An uneasy and forced smile slid onto his face when I could finally focus on him enough that there wasn’t multiple copies of him.

“Hey,” Clint’s voice echoed in my head painfully. I winced as a headache made itself very well known inside my skull. My brain felt like someone had opened my head and stirred it around like cake batter. At the pain in my head I could feel my eyes start to shut again on their own accord.

“Come on, I need you to stay with me,” the worry was clear in Clint’s voice. “Big boy pants on, I need you to get up.”

“I’m a girl,” I whispered licking my cracked lips. I winced at even the small motion of doing that seemed to hurt. But I opened my eyes again to his face still hovering above me. This time he didn’t need to force a smile on his face. It was already there, no doubt due to my sassy remark. 

“I can’t say big girl pants on for you because I’m sure you wear a pretty tiny size,” Clint chuckled. He hadn’t removed his hand from my cheek yet. I reached up, painfully and slowly to put my own hand over his. The contact of feeling his skin against my hand was enough to wake me entirely. It grounded me back down to earth being able to feel something besides my own aching body. I still couldn’t focus properly but at least I was conscious. 

“Size 4 baby,” I tried to swallow to get rid of the scratchiness in my throat. But my mouth wouldn't produce any kind of moisture. The friction of my throat constricting on itself only made it worse. My chest tightened to the point of being painful. I felt like if I coughed while laying down I was going to choke. Shooting upright, narrowly missing head butting Clint, my entire body spasmed as I coughed. It made everything hurt so badly but I couldn’t stop myself. Pain exploded across my head but that was nothing compared to the ache on my shoulder blade and left side of my body. I felt like I’d been hit by a train. 

“I need some water,” Clint’s raised voice did nothing for my headache. The sound of his deep voice vibrating around my skull only making the pounding worse. I clutched at my head with my hands, pressing my palms against my temples as my eyes squeezed shut again. It felt like hours had passed with me sitting there holding my head in my hands until a canteen was pressed into my hands. I felt like I was going to drop it until Clint’s hands closed around mine in a steady grip.

“Drink,” Clint instructed. His hands guided my own until the canteen was pressed against my lips. I was forced to put my head back up and tilt it back slightly to actually drink. Once the water hit my lips I had to stopped myself chugging the entire thing down. I knew I’d made myself sick if I did that so I limited myself to small sips and gentle swallows. Some of it ran down my chin but I didn’t care right now. As I was drinking Clint gently pinched the skin on the back of my hand. I didn’t need to look at the skin to feel the pull of it standing upright a lot longer than it should be.

“You’re so dehydrated,” Clint murmured, more to himself than to me. He let me finish the entire canteen without another word. By the end of it I was feeling slightly more human and less like a beaten up piece of meat. My headache had subsided to a dull throb instead of the intense stabbing pain. My body didn’t feel any better but at least I could finally see straight.

Clint and I were alone amongst the wreckage of the Quinjet. The very little that was left of it. Twisted metal was scattered through the sand of what was once our ride home. Most of the pieces were no bigger than a few feet across. Whatever had hit it sure did a fantastic job of demolishing it. A couple of feet away all I could see were shadows of people standing up, who I assumed were the STRIKE Team and SEALS.

“I’m going to pick you up,” Clint’s voice pulled my attention back to him. I moved my head too quickly and it took me a few seconds for everything to come back into focus. Damn this one was hell of a wicked concussion. “And you aren’t going to complain. We need to get moving and I don’t want you walking anywhere.”

“Where’s Riley?” I managed to croak out. I wasn’t going to argue with Clint. I don’t even think I could walk if I tried.

“About 100 yards that way,” Clint pointed back towards where we had come from. At least I think it was where we’d come from. “Still providing cover like a good little marksman.”

If I’d provided cover none of this would have happened. The bitter through sprang into my head before I could stomp on it. Combined with the pain I was in, the anger at myself for not doing my job hit me full force. I felt like a complete and utter fuck of up a failure. I couldn’t stop tears that started to fall down my face. I couldn’t even raise my arm enough without help to brush them away before Clint saw them. 

“Fuck,” Clint swore. He quickly reached up and brushed the trail of tears away with the heel of his palm as fast as they came out. “I’m not used to crying. If Nat cries I feel like the world is going to end within the next 3 seconds. It freaks me out. Please don’t cry.”

Clint’s pained confession stopped my tears as quickly as they had leaked out. I even managed a strangled chuckled through my sniffles. At the sight of my tears stopping he gave me a gentle smile.

“That’s better,” Clint scooped me up so I was laying in his arms bridal style. If I wasn’t in so much pain I’m sure I’d be feeling all kinds of embarrassed. “If you throw up on me when we start moving you owe me a bottle of scotch.”

“Only if we can drink it together,” I wanted to laugh at his joking tone. But my eyes were heavy again. Just the effort of sitting up to have a drink had drained all the energy from me. Laying with my head on his shoulder I let my eyes drift shut again. If Clint noticed he didn’t say anything. I was passed out again by the second step he took. 

When I came to again I was lying on my uninjured side. A jacket was laid over me to ward off the now chilly night air. My eyelids ached, feeling like they weighed a thousand pounds each keeping them shut. The material of what I guessed to be another jacket was pressed under my cheek, giving my head some support. Everything ached so badly. I couldn’t even tell what was sore anymore. My entire body was just throbbing. It wasn’t hard to give into the pull of unconsciousness yet again.

That was until I felt some wrap around my neck. 

All of a sudden I was back in my nest with the attacker trying to strangle me. Despite my aching body I struggled like crazy, kicking out and flailing my legs to get whoever it was off me. I ended up on my back, adrenaline numbing any pain in my body. Hands pinned me down making me struggle even harder. My fist suddenly connected with flesh and bone. Through my panicked struggle I heard someone groan and a very familiar voice let out a not very nice string of cursing. 

“Kari,” it was Clint’s voice that finally made my eyes snap open and out of my panic state. Whatever had touched my neck was long gone. It was only Clint’s face over me, yet again. He had a firm grip on my shoulders keeping me pinned to the ground. “You’re ok.”

At those few words my stomach recoiled. Nope. I was definitely not ok. With strength I didn’t know I had I pushed Clint off me just as my body saw fit to start to heave. Bile rose up in my throat and I knew dinner was going to follow it very quickly. Clint knew exactly what was about to happen. Without another word he scooped me back up in his arms, marched from where I’d been lying and in a few hurried strides deposited me behind a bush. It wasn’t a gentle drop but I was feeling too nauseated to care. My knees hit the ground just as the threatening bile turned into vomit and erupted forcefully from my stomach. My constricting stomach and throat muscles burned as I kneeled in the sand feeling absolutely wretched. I threw up until there was nothing left in my stomach but my body kept dry retching.

Clint was there the entire time with me. He kept my hair our of my face, which was a task and a half in itself considering most of it was falling out of the tight braid I started with earlier in the night. 

“Its just adrenaline,” Clint soothed me as he rubbed my back with his spare hand. “It happens.”

At least it happened outside away from everyone else. I wouldn’t be able to thank Clint enough for that small discretion he’d done for me. With one last final heave my body stopped the dry retching. I fell back on my haunches feeling miserable as I looked to the ground. The darkness of the night covered most of the mess up. The few patches of different coloured sand wasn’t hard to make out though. I went to wipe my mouth on the back of my hand, stopping a second before it touched my skin. My hands were still covered in blood, It was dry and cracked in a few places now. But still there. The sight of it made my stomach constrict again. I couldn’t move. I just sat there frozen staring at the blood that definitely wasn’t mine. Everything that happened before starting to come rushing back to me, a blur of images rushing through my mind.

“Rub them in the sand,” Clint’s hands covered mine and guided them away from my face. “It’ll get rid of it.”

Clint’s steady voice quickly brought me back to reality. I hastily complied with what he told me. Grabbing a handful of sand I rubbed it so hard it felt like I was taking the first few layers of skin off my hands. Not that I needed any help with that. They were already scraped and bruised. I turned them over inspecting the tops of my hands. I barely had any skin left on my knuckles, the flesh red and raw. From the feel of them I had no doubt they would be all colours of the rainbow tomorrow. It would be a match to the rest of my body judging by the aches throbbing throughout it. 

“That looks like one hell of an arterial spray,” Clint probed gently as I scrubbed my hands. “Wanna tell me what happened?”

I didn’t want to talk about it. I really didn’t want to talk about it. Talking about it made it all real again. 

“I stabbed him,” saying those words made me shake all over. I couldn’t believe I’d actually done it. The words came out despite me trying to swallow them back. “He tried to choke me and I stabbed him. I fucked everything up.”

Bitter tears crept into my eyes at the thought of my complete and utter failure on this mission. I was such an idiot believing I could do this. Believing I could be a worthy part of STRIKE Team Delta. I was a nobody. Just a stupid girl who thought she might belong in this crazy world I’d found myself thrown into. Who was I kidding? It was just luck that didn’t get everyone killed with my fuck up. Why did I run? Only cowards ran. I didn’t think I was a coward but tonight had just proved otherwise.

“You’re ok,” Clint repeated again. He pulled me into his chest as my tears turned to sobs. “This time you can cry. I’ll take crying over throwing up.”

If I wasn't feeling so fucking wretched that would have made me laugh. But I was too caught up in my own misery as I gave into the emotional rollercoaster I was feeling. I just let myself fall against his chest and sob so hard I cold barely breath. What a shitty day this had turned out to be.


	26. Chapter 26

Up. Forward, Back, Down, Squeeze.

Bang.

Up. Forward. Back. Down. Squeeze.

Bang.

I wiped the sweat out of my eyes, pushed my loose hair out of my eyes and repeated the action yet again. 

Up. Forward. Back. Down. Squeeze.

Click.

Fuck it. I yanked the magazine out of my AWSM and replaced it with a new one. The action of yanking the magazine out of the rifle was enough to jar my injuries. But not enough to make me stop.

I’d spent the last 2 days mostly sleeping in medical with a wicked concussion, a small chip off the wing of my scapula and more bruises and abrasions than I could count. The concussion and bruising came from debris of the Quinjet hitting me in the head and body. I was lucky it was no more than a glancing blow. Or so the doctors told me. The scapula was from where I thought a rock had hit me. It turns out I’d actually been shot but body armour had done its job. Another piece of luck that I actually had the ceramic plates in. The bullet left an angry raised welt on my back that was turning all different shades of purple and red. 

2 days of laying there feeling like shit about my fuck up on the mission. I hadn't been alone, Riley had barely left my side. My guilt only grew every time I’d seen his face. He’d been the one I punched in my panic attack while lying on the ground. His nose wasn’t broken, but I’d hit him hard enough to make 2 black eyes spread across his face. On the rare occasion Riley wasn’t there, Clint was. He’d come out of the mission unscathed except for a few scrapes. Even Coulson had dropped in a lot. He didn’t lecture me, or even ask about the mission. He just seemed more concerned that I had everything I needed and I was feeling fine.

I hadn’t talked to anyone about what happened. Jared and Natasha had gotten back last night after their contact proved to be unhelpful. Everyone kept a happy attitude around me, like nothing bad had gone down. Jared had even gone as far to grin and call me a complete badass after he’d been told about the mission. I’d returned the smile with weak and forced enthusiasm. I didn’t fool him. He told me we were going to have a long discussion this morning about what happened. 

So this morning had me sitting out on the range. I’d snuck out of the medical wing and gone straight to the armoury. I knew I wasn’t cleared to even be out of bed yet so I went invisible, checked my AWSM out and a lot of full magazines and come to the range. It was barely dawn by the time I’d settled myself down in front of the long range targets and started shooting. It was strangely therapeutic seeing hole after hole appear in the targets.

I was so busy firing I didn’t notice the figure behind me appear. I did notice the coffee cup put right in front of my scope. The shock of it being so close up made me jerk back and snap my head to look at who’d just busted me out here. The cup landed with a thump next to the rifle as soon as I jerked away.

Natasha was standing there, a smirk on her face while holding another coffee cup. She was dressed in her normal workout gear that usually mirrored my own. Tights, always Skins because they were so much more comfortable than anything else, sneakers, tank top with a sweater thrown over it. Being the clothing thief she was, Natasha had one of Clint’s grey hoodies on. I was just as bad. I was beginning to use Riley’s hoodies as well. It was just something about a man’s hoodie that was so much more comfortable than anything else. 

“I wondered how long it’d take you to sneak out,” Natasha plonked down on the ground next to me. She was sitting cross legged, looking out over the range. I mirrored her own posture, sitting back from the AWSM very grateful for the coffee. I hadn’t grabbed one before I left. An hour into shooting I was starting to regret it. Just not enough to make me get up and go searching for my own. I didn’t exactly think coming out here very well. It was a long walk, I’d been near exhausted by the time I’d went to the armoury and then out here. I was dreading the walk back.

“Thanks,” I ignored her comment. Taking a long sip of the coffee I looked out over the range. I’d demolished a few of the targets already. I only had 5 magazines left so my fun was going to be short lived even if Natasha hadn’t of disturbed me. Natasha was silent next to me as we both drank our coffee, watching the sun rise the rest of the way over the base. The air was cool, promising a not too hot day. The weather had gradually begun to cool down during our stay. I was really hoping to get back home before Thanksgiving, but there had been no mention of going home yet.

“How’d you find me?” I finally broke the silence in my still gravelly voice. The hostile who’d tried to choke me had left me with impressive bruising around my throat as well. My voice box felt bruised from it still making it uncomfortable to talk. My voice felt like it was being forced out of a pipe. Even swallowing was uncomfortable. 

“It was a flip of the coin for either the range or the runway,” Natasha explained with a shrug. “There’s no planes taking off so the range it was.”

I was easy like that. No wonder she’d found me before I’d finished my box of magazines. 

“Plus I figured the last thing you’d want is an interrogation from Jared, so I thought I’d come talk to you instead,” Natasha finished. I tried to suppress my groan, but a tiny one slipped out despite my best efforts. 

“There’s nothing to talk about,” I pursed my lips trying to keep myself indifferent to the conversation I know was going to take place. 

“Really?” Natasha took a sip of coffee and looked at me with raised eyebrows over her cup. “That was one hell of a mission from what I heard.”

“And what did you hear?” I tried to turn the conversation back onto Natasha so I didn’t have to speak about my feelings. Gone were the tears over fucking up. I was at the angry stage. If I wasn’t so fucking sore I’m sure I’d be in the gym punching my feelings out. I couldn’t even raise my arms high enough to pull my hair up this morning, let alone lay into a punching bag. 

“That the last thing you need right now is to be beating yourself up over it,” Natasha was straight to the point. There was no escape from this for me. “That you did what you could in the circumstances you found yourself in. You were sent on a mission where the intel was shit. You were ambushed and the enemy got a lot more than he bargained for when he went for your nest thinking you were the weak one to take out.”

I could only stare down into the mug half full of coffee at Natasha’s words. I couldn’t even bring myself to look my best friend in the eye at the shame I felt of running when I was compromised. It hadn’t even hit me properly yet that I’d actually killed someone up close. 

“I fucked up,” it came out as a hoarse whisper. “I compromised the mission by running.”

“Tell me,” Natasha’s reply was instant. “Did you tell the enemy where you were?”

That was a stupid question. I frowned looking back up to Natasha.

“Of course not,” I said. “But,”

“Did you purposely get your position compromised?” Natasha didn’t let me finish. 

“No,” my voice was growing smaller at Natasha’s questions.

“Did you stand there and do nothing when a bomb went off and nearly killed both you and Rumlow?” Natasha tilted her head to the side as she looked at me. She took a sip of her coffee cup while I fumbled for an answer.

That was my other problem when I’d first come into medical. I was so dehydrated that the doctor could barely get an IV line in. There hadn’t been enough moisture in the air to create the wall of ice like I did. So my power took it from my body. Not that I was complaining about it. I’d rather be dehydrated enough to need a few litres of IV fluid overnight rather than blown into a million pieces. 

“When you found out your position was compromised, did you just run straight away? I heard from Riley and Clint that you took a shot and landed a damn good one as well before you got out of there,” Natasha pressed on when no words came from me. 

This time I at least managed a shrug. I didn’t see the shot I’d landed when I fired. I’d only meant for it to be a warning shot. Not a kill shot.

“If you’d stay in your position, there would have been nothing but a bullet riddled corpse left and Clint and I would be giving your badge and a pretty folded flag to your parents,” Natasha’s blunt words made me flinch. “You made the right call.”

I had no words to reply to Natasha. She just sat there patiently sipping her coffee watching me. There was no judgement in her green eyes. Just a still calmness while she sat there. I knew she was right. I hated that she was right after the turmoil I kept feeling. 

“I don’t belong here,” the biggest thing playing on my mind slipped out. “I don’t deserve to be part of STRIKE Team Delta. I’m done. I’ll request a transfer and wait out my year elsewhere. You guys don't need me.”

“Huh,” Natasha face gave nothing away. She schooled it into a blank mask so quickly. Gone was Nat, my best friend sitting there helping me out. In front of me was the cold Black Widow. The change was pretty terrifying. I was sure Natasha was about to launch into a verbal tirade at me.

I didn’t even see the punch coming.

Her fist landed on my cheek with such force it made my head snap facing the other way. The reaction from my body was instant. My own fist went flying catching Natasha square in the cheek. I hit her hard enough to make the coffee splash out of her cup and onto the ground. Her head snapped around just like mine had.

I stared in horror at the reddening mark spreading across Natasha’s pale skin. She was still facing the opposite direction like I’d been. Her red curls had fallen across her face. Slowly and very deliberately Natasha flicked her hair out of her face and turned to face me. I was poised ready to either run for my life, or cop the returning blow I knew would be coming. I can’t believe I’d just landed that punch without Natasha blocking it. 

“And you say you aren’t worthy of STRIKE Team Delta,” Natasha turned to face me. She flicked her hair again so her stray curls was completely out of her face. Her expression was completely unreadable. “You earned this. No one else did it for you. If I ever hear those words come out of your mouth again I’ll do more than punch you across the face.”

I rubbed the offending mark on my face. It’d been a hard enough hit that it would leave a bruise. Strangely enough, I felt better. Only Natasha could punch me across the face to set my mind straight again. Natasha would never lie to me. Even if she’d let me land that blow, which is highly likely, I trusted her words more than anything else right now. 

“What happened was messy and you have every right to be not sleeping well at night over it,” Natasha looked at me with a flicker of emotion finally coming back into her face. She looked troubled and I don’t think it was just me that was doing it. “But if you keep blaming yourself you aren’t going to achieve anything other than making yourself sick over it. Believe me when I tell you even the experienced Agents had a rough time after that mission. You walked into a very carefully planned ambush, nothing any of us saw coming. It was only by skill you all got out of there alive.”

That was defiantly a sobering thought. It no one saw this ambush coming, what else was out there for us to stumble upon? Maybe next time we wouldn’t be so lucky. Going into the mission I thought it was slight overkill sending in a STRIKE and SEAL team for such a small lead. When shit went down I’d never been so glad to be over prepared. Just like right now I was very glad to have a friend like Natasha. 

“So you’re saying I should just put this all behind me and forget about it?” 

“No,” Natasha shook her head. “I’m not saying that at all. I’m just saying you need to stop with the pity party and all the guilt that comes with it. Nothing good ever comes of it. Agent’s have gone crazy over things like this and shot themselves on the range, or thrown themselves of the roof of the Triskelion. You can’t change what happened. Learn from it. Grow from it and for fuck sake talk to me if you aren’t coping.”

Another flinch from me. In jobs like ours I could see both of those things happening very easily. PTSD ran pretty rampant through the Enforcement part of SHIELD. There were pages and pages of protocols about it whether your, or another Agent, were having issues enough to turn into full blown PTSD. I was sure as soon as I stepped off the Quinjet when we got home, I’d find myself straight back in Andrew Garners office. But Natasha had a very good way of putting things into perspective. She was right. Nothing can change the past and nothing good ever came out of it from dwelling. I knew that well enough from when I first joined SHIELD. I just had to keep trudging along, eyes forward and never looking back. No matter how hard it was to not look back. 

“Thanks Nat,” It seemed so insignificant to be saying that. Words could express my gratitude right now for her brutal honestly. As much as I didn’t want to hear it, its what I needed right now. It was like a weight had lifted off my shoulders. I still wasn’t feeling 100%, but it was a start.

Natasha’s face slipped into an easy smile. 

“You owe me another cup of coffee.”

“I think I owe you a bottle of vodka,” I chuckled. That felt good. A little bit of humour went a long way.

“Lets do that tonight,” Natasha’s face brightened even more. “Go get wasted and make ourselves regret it deeply in the morning.”

“I’m not even meant to be out of medical,” the excuse was lame considering I was sitting here at the range. The dead panned expression Natasha shot my way was enough to make me quickly reconsider my answer. After a hastily said yes from me, silence lapsed between us. It was a comfortable silence, stretching out in the quiet morning air as we both overlooked the range. I’d finished my coffee before Natasha spoke again. 

“Tell me about the group you faced,” Natasha stretched her legs out in front of her. She lent back so she was resting on her arms. Her now empty coffee cup was sitting on the ground beside her.

“Well trained,” it was the first thing to pop into my mind. The enemy that had attacked my nest knew exactly what to do. There was no fumble in his hands at any stage of our scuffle. “Well organised, knew the area enough to keep to the shadows. Definitely not a ragtag group of amateurs. What did you and Jared uncover?”

“Whispers,” Natasha gave a half hearted shrug. “Rumours. Talks of a group known as the Ten Rings making themselves known.”

“Never heard of them.”

“Neither have I,” Natasha turned to face me. “A new player in an already dangerous game. What else did you see? What weapons were they using?”

“They had Stark weapons,” the detail didn’t feel important. We’d seen in the satellite imagery the crates. But suddenly the bomb that had whizzed past my face came boring into the front of my mind. “The bomb that nearly got Rumlow and I, It was Stark tech. It had a delayed fuse on it, otherwise we would have been dead.”

“It was probably a fragment bomb,” Natasha mused. “The shrapnel is designed to kill you. Not the actual bomb itself, very nasty weapon. SHIELD has them. Most other organisations don’t like them. What else?”

SHIELD had a lot of things that no one else liked. Like a lot of Enhanced people working for them. That bit of information didn’t surprise me. Regardless of what it actually was, I was glad I hadn’t been on the receiving end of the explosion. 

“AK-47 was about the only thing I saw,” I chewed on the inside of my lip in concentration. As soon as my teeth sunk into the skin I winced. I’d split my lip somewhere during that mission. I could taste blood in my mouth again from reopening it. I spat it out before I kept speaking. Yuck. “But that bomb that went past me would have had to be fired from a missile launcher of some sort. If it’s Stark tech it’s not cheap, so my guess would be well funded as well.”

“So a well trained, well armed and well funded extremist group is running around that we know nothing about. One bold enough to set a trap and draw out of forces to test our strength as well,” Natasha’s lips turned downwards in displeasure. “I’m not liking the sound of this at all.”

“If Stark wasn’t involved in this my solution would be easy,” I glanced towards the runway where I knew a lot of sleek fighter jets were currently parked. “Send a few Raptors and bomb the fuck out of them.”

“If only it was that easy,” Natasha laughed dryly. “I’m starving, are you coming to breakfast?”

My stomach growled in agreement betraying the negative answer I was about to give her. It was loud enough for Natasha to glance down with a small smile.

“Traitor,” I grumbled looking down at my sweater covered stomach. “Apparently that’s a yes.”

“And we’ll go find Coulson and tell him we’re going out tonight,” Natasha added. “He might even come with us. He looks like he could use some winding down.”

Where we were going to find somewhere to drink I had no idea. Afghanistan was a pretty dry country on the alcohol front. There wasn’t anywhere to drink on base so we’d have to head into Kabul to do it. But a night out did sound like fun. Even if it was an hour drive there. It’d break up the monotony of the last few weeks.

“Pack up your shit and lets go,” Natasha instructed. She got to her feet, giving her pants a quick brush off. “Unlike you I was smart enough to bring a car.”

“And my aching body thanks you for it,” I couldn’t help but say dryly. I complied with her request though as I quickly disassembled the set up. I had it packed away within a minute and following Natasha off the range. 

“You need to talk to Riley,” Natasha said as we neared the vehicle. I faltered in my steps as we neared the black SUV we had use of. Talking to Natasha was one thing, but I didn’t know if I could talk about this to Riley. He seemed over protective right now, barely leaving my side and not letting me do anything for myself. If I wasn’t in so much pain those first 48 hours I probably would have snapped at him by now. He was treating me like I was made of glass and he was scared he was going to break me. 

“I know,” I said despite my reservations on it. I picked up my pace again, walking to the back of the car. “He’s barely left my side since it happened.”

For 2 people who weren’t meant to work together a lot, Riley and I seemed to keep getting missions together. It was great having him here because I’m sure I’d miss him like crazy if he hadn’t of come along. It was also frustrating to never get a chance to really be with each other as a couple. There was no time for romance and it felt like we’d just skipped over the entire dating stage of our relationship. While I was crazy for Riley, I kind of missed the excitement of the first stages of dating. There was so much we didn’t talk about because we were either too busy, or things just got forgotten about. 

“Invite him tonight,” Natasha suggested as she unlocked the car. I popped the trunk and carefully placed the case down into it. “You guys should get a motel room for the night. Get away for a bit. It’ll do you the world of good.”

Sometimes I wondered if Natasha was a mind reader. I’m sure it was just my poker face sucking and giving everything away. 

“I was only just thinking we never get to spend much time together as a couple,” I said with half a smile. I slammed the trunk shut and stiffly made my way to the passenger seat. It was an awkward slide into it, trying not to jar anything that hurt. I finally got settled while Natasha drummed her fingers on the steering wheel waiting for me. 

“You look like you got fucked up the ass the way you’re moving,” Natasha smirked at me as I gingerly sat down. 

I tried really hard not to laugh. Really really hard. I nearly held it in but when Natasha’s smirk turned into a shit eating grin it came out. Once I started laughing I couldn’t stop. I laughed so hard I snorted and had tears running down my face. It hurt like hell, but the pain was worth it. Yep, leave it to Natasha to make me feel better. 

 

~ ~ ~

 

It was so good being out of medical. Even if all I’d done so far today was make it to the mess, have a quick shower which made me feel like a human again, and collapse back into my own bed. I’d run into everyone this morning, or so it seemed. Just as I walked into the mess, a few of the SEAL team and been leaving. To my embarrassment every single one of them stopped to have a quick chat. If I thought I’d be spared but after that I ended up sitting with Rumlow and his team during breakfast with their very loud conversation. Clint and Jared joined halfway through my meal to add into the chaos. I’m sure if we hadn’t left when we did we would have all been kicked out. It went a long way into making me start to feel normal again. 

Coulson had found us just as we left the mess. Instead of the lecture I expected he handed me over a bag full of painkillers and told me to get back to my own bed. My energy was fast running out so I was more than happy to comply with that order. Turns out I was being discharged this morning anyway so my sneaking out was null and void. I’m sure he didn’t need to ask where I’d been. Like Natasha said it was a pretty safe bet to find me either at the range or the runway. I needed to learn to stop being so predictable.

The only missing piece of my day had been Riley. He’d sent me a text message during breakfast saying he’d be gone for the day and would meet up with me sometime this afternoon. No matter what bribery I sent him he wouldn’t tell me where he was or what he was doing. I just got told to be patient. 

While I was not being patient I decided to steal Jared’s hard drive and laptop to watch movies back in my own bed like I was ordered. My fun was ruined about 10 minutes into watching Batman Begins when Jared pushed the screen shut. I jumped back at the sound of it and scowled up at him. He didn’t need an invitation. He threw himself down on the bed next to me, lying on his stomach, his head propped in his hands. I opened the screen back up and restarted the movie. I lent back against the bedhead to watch the action.

“So that bruise on your cheek is new,” Jared broke the silence after only a few minutes.

“Yes it is,” I grimaced reaching up to rub the bruise that had made itself known. “Natasha packs a punch.”

“Did she punch all the stupid out of you?” the smirk on Jared’s face was clear as he turned to face me. “Cuz you suck at hiding your emotions.”

“Thanks,” I tried to give Jared a shove with my elbow. He barely moved from his casual lying position. It only hurt the scraped skin along my arm. Hitting him in the leg was a reminder that gone was my scrawny brother. He felt like he was solid muscle now, despite still looking slim. I envied him for it. I was still in limbo land with the muscling up stage. I could see it sometimes, but other days I still looked skinny.

“Feeling better?” Jared asked simply. 

“A little,” I wrinkled my nose slightly. “Its all weird.”

“Weird?” Jared hit the spacebar to pause the movie and he turned to look at me. “Kari, you can conjure ice from the air and I can teleport. What part of our lives is ever normal?”

Jared had a point. A very good point. No part of my life was ever normal. No matter how much I tried to make it normal there were just parts of me that weren’t. Being part of SHIELD guaranteed that at least for the next year, nothing in my life will be normal. During high school and my adult life I’d tried my best to be normal but I never fitted in. Now I was with the crazy misfits everything seemed to fall into place much quicker than ever before in my life.

“You know who was the first person I killed?” Jared held my gaze. I simply shook my head. “A guy who tried to kill us walking back from a bar in Paris. My first and only partner Phillip was shot in the head from behind by our mark. I didn’t have time to think, or even process what I was doing. I pulled my own gun out and shot the mark right in the head. Then I found myself on my knees, in an alley throwing up uncontrollably. It took me months to stop seeing it every time I closed my eyes.”

Jared’s voice had grown quieter throughout his little speech. Once he got to the part about throwing up in the alley his gaze dragged away from mine and he looked down at the bed instead. His fingers absently traced the keys on the keyboard, as if he couldn’t stop himself from fidgeting. His quiet confession broke my heart, and made me feel a hell of a lot better all at the same time. So it wasn’t just me struggling with this. If Jared had gone through the same thing I did, it was more like a normal response. Then again who knew what a normal response to killing a person would be. It’s not something that you could bet trained or ever prepared for. On impulse I lay down next to him, mirroring his own position as I hugged him. He jumped in surprise, but then his arms were around me as well. It’d been a lot of years since we’d hugged each other in comfort. It made me miss how close we were when we were kids. 

“I threw up too,” I confessed quietly, my voice muffled against Jared’s chest. “I hate throwing up.”

“Some things never change,” Jared chuckled quietly. He gave me a very gentle squeeze. “No matter what, talk to me ok? Even if I’m not here just tell me you need me and I’ll be there for you.”

I nodded my head mutely in agreement. 

“And when we get back to DC, please practice with your powers,” Jared added softly. I pulled back in confusion to see his face while he was speaking. I thought he might have been joking but his face was deadly serious. “Please Kari? You missed out on a lot of stuff in high school about control and how to really channel your power so you can use it properly. Its like a muscle, it won’t get any stronger if you don’t use it.”

“Fine,” I agreed reluctantly. As much as Jared had a point it still wasn’t something I was comfortable with. I wasn’t even sure how I was going to practice it. Clint was going to be so fucking smug about it if I asked him.

“By the way, sneaking into the showers is an awesome way to use your invisibility,” Jared broke the emotionally charged atmosphere just as quickly as it came. I gave him another shove, really meaning it this time. Jared half fell off the bed, clinging to the sheets to stop himself toppling over completely while he just laughed at me. 

“Who told you that?” I scowled at him. My scowl was ruined by the smile breaking onto my lips at the sight of Jared hauling himself back into his lying position on the bed. Damn, I envied his core strength right now.

“Barton, who else? He loves watching us use our powers. I think he’s a little jealous he’s not a cool kid,” Jared’s laughter died down enough for him to speak. “Now come on and watch the movie. I’ve had my share of all the feels today. Too many feels make my brain go to mush and that’s not good for me.”

My brother. The worlds biggest idiot. But I loved him dearly. It was good to have him here. As much I was still debating about staying in SHIED or not. Being here had provided me with some of the things I’d been missing in life. A close relationship with my brother again. True friends who’d stuck their necks out for me more times than I could count. A boyfriend who seemed to worship the ground I walked on. No matter what happened in the next 9 months I couldn’t deny I was enjoying those few things in my life. There was small part of me was still saying I didn’t belong here, Perhaps that little voice in the back of my mind was right. But there were many worse ways I could be spending my life right now. 

Jared started the movie again as I sat back up. We only got 30 seconds into it before Jared’s phone chimed as a message came through. I was half tempted to shove him off the bed again while he did some weird contortionist position to actually reach his phone on the floor. 

“Who loves you?” I asked as Jared scanned over the screen. A small half smirk was pulling on the left side of his lips.

“Stand up,” Jared instructed as he bounced to his own feet. I followed him at a much slower pace. As soon as I on my feet, Jared grabbed my hand. I opened my mouth to protest but it was too late. The world dropped out from underneath us as Jared teleported. On instinct my eyes snapped shut at the feeling of being thrown around in the vortex that came with Jared’s teleporting. A second later my feet hit solid ground again. I only swayed slightly as my eyes pried open one at a time. I was standing in a hotel room. A very fancy hotel room that looked like it’d cost a fair chunk of cash for the night.

“What’s going on?” I turned to Jared confused as hell at why he just brought me here.

“Have fun,” with a wink Jared was gone as quickly as we’d appeared. 

“Okaaaaaay,” I turned around the room taking it all in. Jared had left me in the bedroom at the foot of a massive king sized bed. Right in front of me was the bathroom, the door open enough for me to see the large spa bath right in front of me.

A pair of hands covered my eyes. I knew those hands very well. I giggled as I covered Riley’s hands with my own. He pulled me in close so he was pressed up to my back.

“Guess who,” Riley whispered in my ear. I could hear the smile in his voice.

“The best thing in my life,” I felt a little breathless at the surprise. This had been a level of sneaky I’d never expected from Riley. “What’s all this?”

“This is,” Riley paused and gently pushed me forward. I let him guide me with his hands still over my eyes. We stopped after a dozen steps and Riley removed his hands from my eyes. “Our romantic evening away that we never seem to have.”

There was a small lounge room off the bedroom. As Riley’s hands uncovered my eyes it took me a few seconds to everything in. The lights were dimmed, Heineken bottles were sitting in an ice bucket and there was a pizza sitting on the coffee table. Meatlovers as well by the looks of it. Riley had definitely thought of everything.

“Umm,” I couldn’t think of anything to say as I looked around the room. “Is this where you’ve been all morning?”

“Yep,” Riley draped his arms around my shoulders. “Like?”

“Like is an understatement,” I turned around in Riley’s embrace and thew my arms around him. “You’re the best. What did I do to deserve this?”

“I figured we could both do with a night away,” Riley smiled as he leant forward and brushed his lips against mine. “Its been a long few days.”

I tangled my hands through Riley’s hair and pulled him back to me. I wasn’t satisfied with the chaste kiss he just placed on my lips. I wanted more. After these last 2 weeks of having next to no privacy I was keen to make the most of tonight by ourselves. 

“Pizza will get cold,” Riley murmured against my lips before he pulled away. “Come on, we have all afternoon and night for that.”

I was very much looking forward to seeing what else Riley had planned for tonight. 

Once the pizza was devoured and onto my second beer I was curled up next to Riley as he somehow managed to find Batman Begins in the DVD collection. Once I started watching a movie I always wanted to finish it. No matter how many times I’d actually seen the movie. Riley had his free arm around me, keeping me cuddled in close to him. I was nestled with my head on his chest near his shoulder. 

“I’m sorry it couldn’t be much more than this tonight,” Riley spoke up during one of the quieter parts of the movie. “I had to beg Coulson for 20 minutes and in the end I think he only relented because Jared offered to teleport you in and out.”

“You didn’t have to do anything,” my free arm was draped over Riley’s waist. I gave him a small squeeze. “The fact you planned something is amazing. Its going a long way to taking my mind off things.”

“Yeah it was a fucked up mission,” Riley sighed. He turned his head and kissed me on the top of the head. His lips stayed there for a few moments before he spoke again. “You did a good job. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“I’m hearing that a lot today,” I cuddled further into Riley. “I might even start believing it soon.”

Riley chuckled and kissed the top of my head again. We fell into silence as the movie played along. By the end credits I was down another beer and feeling extremely relaxed. It was a stark contrast to how I was feeling a few hours ago.

“So I have a confession to make,” Riley sounded nervous as he turned the TV off. I craned my head to look up at him so I could see his face while he made this confession. “I’ve kind of been emailing your Mom over the last few days.”

I choked on the air I just inhaled. I was not expecting that.

“Coulson told her what happened and she was worried about you,” Riley said in a rush. “And she sent me an email just asking me if I could keep her filled in while you were out of it and Jared was away.”

Oh Riley. You poor soul, you just got ensnared right into my Mom’s charms without her even needing to use her power. I fought very hard to keep the smile off my face as Riley barrelled along with his explanation. 

“So we got talking because I wasn’t sleeping and I needed something to take my mind off things,” Riley’s words fell out of his mouth quicker at my silence. I frowned and swiftly cut him off.

“Why weren’t you sleeping?” I asked.

“I’ll get to that in a minute,” Riley’s ears started to turn red in his embarrassment. “And she invited us to Thanksgiving because she knew you wouldn’t do it.”

That’s not true. Well maybe a little bit. I would have gone for a day or two after Thanksgiving since we were already going to Riley’s Mom’s place for Thanksgiving. 

“So I realised I hadn’t actually invited you properly to Thanksgiving at Mom’s and we hadn’t talked about it and I feel like I’m pushing you into stuff without us really discussing it,” Riley had barely taken a breath during his entire confession. “And I really, really don't want to fuck things up so, will you come to Minnesota with me for my family’s Thanksgiving? I’m happy to go to your family’s thing as well if you…”

I cut Riley off by kissing him. His rambling was pretty hilarious but he just seemed to be getting more and more nervous the more he spoke. He stiffed against my lips for a second before relaxing. He returned the kiss gently, reaching up to tangle his fingers through my hair. It must have been a novelty for him to see me with it down. He hadn’t been able to stop playing with it the entire time throughout the movie.

“Of course I’ll come to Thanksgiving with you,” I pulled back after a few seconds. “I already said I would. So, why weren't you sleeping?”

“I knew you wouldn’t let that one go,” Riley wrinkled his nose at me, pulling a face. “It happens sometimes. My mind just fucks me with after missions sometimes. It seems to like showing me all the shit that could have gone wrong when I fall asleep. Like the last few nights what would have happened if you hadn’t ducked when I shot at the guy aiming at you. Or you hadn’t made that massive wall of ice in front of the bomb. Its why I haven’t really left your side. I wake up and find out you’re still here and in one piece.”

“Battered and bruised, but still in one piece,” I said to reassure myself more than Riley. That mission really hadn’t gone well for any of us. I hadn’t stopped to think how hard it would have been on Riley to watch everything unfold in front of him. He wouldn’t have been able to do a damn thing to help me. Thank god for Rumlow coming to drag my ass out of there. I hadn’t missed the bruises and scrapes covering him at the breakfast table either.

“One piece is all that matters,” Riley reached down and kissed me again. It was still soft and chaste before he pulled back. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“How does your power work?” Riley asked carefully. “It seems like you made it come from thin air.”

I couldn't deny such a simple question. Especially after all the trouble Riley had gone to getting us off base for the night. Plus he’d been talking to my Mom without me even knowing. He was definitely looking like he was a keeper.

“Its hard to explain,” I started. I untangled myself from Riley so I could sit sideway on the couch to face him while I explained. “But it starts with being able to feel the moisture in the air. There’s always moisture coming from somewhere, whether it be a lot or a little of it. The more there is of it, the easier it is to make it freeze. Like right now the air conditioner puts a lot of moisture in the air, plus the melting ice in the bucket helps as well.”

I turned my palm so it was facing upwards. Concentring on the centre of my hand I let the moisture around it come to me and pushed my power into it to form a small ball. I half smiled down at the gold sized ball of ice sitting in my hand. Riley wasn’t able to take his eyes off it.

“I can use that moisture and manipulate it to ice,” I focused some more and made the ball of ice grow bigger. “It’s hard to explain the exact process that goes through it, but yeah basically my power grabs onto any moisture and turns it to ice. Its like Jared’s teleporting. It's essentially him opening a wormhole in the earth to take him where ever he wants to go. But explaining the exact physics and process behind it is a bit beyond me.”

I reached over and put the ball of ice into the ice bucket. Riley grabbed it out straight away, turning it in his hands as he stared at it absolutely fascinated. He was silent until he dropped it back into the bucket. 

“And here I was thinking I was cool being able to shoot just about anything that moves,” Riley laughed. He shifted from his position on the couch so he was leaning over me with a grin appearing on his face. “So, what do you want for dessert?”

“You,” I grabbed Riley’s shirt and pulled him down to my face height. My kiss was instantly demanding silencing any protests Riley might have had. The way he kissed me back was a pretty good indicator that there wasn’t going to be any protest from him at all.


	27. Chapter 27

It took another 5 weeks for us to go home. 

5 long weeks of exactly the same thing we’d been doing over and over again. More flying, more ground patrols and by the end of it there was still no trace of Stark. There had been a few minor ambushes again but nothing like we experienced that night. More and more people, myself included, thought of Stark as dead. Though no one would openly say it, the search would looking more like we were searching for a body to identify rather than a live person.

Reporters had arrived just after Riley and I had gotten back from our night away. They hounded everyone for information when they first got there. It only lasted 2 weeks before they all seemed to fall into the same bored routine as the rest of us. Stories became more focused on the people involved in the search. I was at the range with Riley and his old SEAL team one day having a shooting contest and one reporter asked if she could video it. Our faces were kept pretty obscure by our hats and sunglasses and they filmed just about everything from behind for security reasons. But it’d been a fun thing to do. I’d given Riley an absolute ass kicking and he joked if I wanted his balls now or later to carry around in my purse. His old SEAL team hadn’t been shy on their laughter at him either. 

I’d done what Natasha said told me to and not dwelt on the what ifs from the last mission. The guilt was still there sometimes but I was getting better at keeping it contained. It still reared its ugly head sometimes. But I wasn’t wallowing in my own little pity party about it anymore. The nightmares were new, but thankfully very few and far between. My mind was still in turmoil about what I was actually going to do with my life. The year at SHIELD was slipping by faster than I ever imagined it would. Every time I thought about leaving, I wouldn’t think of anything else to do with my life. I thought being back on the ground doing patrols was going to set in my mind that I couldn’t do this anymore. But despite my anxiety the first few times being back on the ground for foot patrols and searches, nothing else went wrong. The most exciting thing we came across was some feral camels and goats.

Vanity Fair had been roaming around taking random photos just before we left. While Riley was hugging me from behind just outside the accommodation block, the photographer called out for us to smile. Like well trained little monkeys we both flashed a smile at the camera and Riley had given me a kiss on the cheek a second later. I had no doubt it would have been a pretty cute photo. But the photographer had disappeared before either of us could ask for the photo, and then ask for it to be deleted. SHIELD was very strict on keeping our faces out of the media. Jared and Natasha both went as far to duck out of the way every single time a camera went near them. I understood that clearly enough. Both of them did far too much undercover work to be seen in the media and be identified as some kind of Agent for the US government.

My current anxiety was now sitting in the international terminal of Kabul airport with Clint trying to calm me down. Natasha wasn’t having much better time. She got the job of keeping Jared in the airport and making sure he flew home like a normal person. By the pacing he was doing up and down with Natasha on his heels, I wasn’t sure how successful she was being. 

“You’re a pilot, how are you scared of flying?” Clint stood in front of me with his arms crossed. He looked so damn exasperated at me and my very stupid fear. It was 0100 local time and STRIKE Team Delta, plus Jared, had been stuck on the very last flight home. SHIELD was doing a rotation of Agents so the Quinjets flown here in had to stay at Bagram. Which meant having to travel home like a normal person. Riley had caught a flight 6 hours ago, despite asking if he could switch to travel with me. Apparently he’d run out of favours and charm because he got a very irritated no from Evans straight away. Coulson wasn’t coming back until next week so we’d gotten a heavy lecture on behaving ourselves while he wasn’t there. After our lecture he produced a bottle of scotch that the 4 of us enjoyed immensely. It was our Thanksgiving drinks with him since he wouldn't be home for it. 

“Because I know what can go wrong,” I stubbornly crossed my own arms and glared up at Clint from my sitting position in the uncomfortable airport chair. “Come on, you’ve been flying heaps doesn’t it freak you out to know how quickly shit goes wrong?”

“I will be too tired to give a shit,” Clint sighed heavily at me. “And if it does go wrong we have Jared. Dropping from 35,000 feet takes about 4 minutes. More than enough time for him to get us all out of there. Thats if you don’t break into the cockpit first and hijack the plane first to fly it home.”

That wasn’t comforting at all. Thanks Barton. I scowled throwing myself back in the chair like a child having a tantrum. Honestly this flying like a normal person thing is bullshit. I have no idea why SHIELD just wouldn’t let Jared teleport us home once we were clear of Bagram base. For once I was more than happy to let Jared teleport me back home. I was planning on using that time to be waiting in Riley’s bed for when he got home. 

Clint grumbled under his breath at me and pulled his phone out. It only took him 2 seconds before he found whatever he was looking for and put the phone on loudspeaker. After 3 rings the line picked up.

“Agent Lyngley,” the crisp professional tone my Mom always used at work came over the line. I scowled even harder at Clint for ringing my Mom.

“So I’m sitting here watching one of your children scowl at me like an angry 2 year old,” Clint didn’t bother with pleasantries. “And the other is pacing the airport like a caged tiger. Any suggestions? We have to board in 20 minutes.”

“Drug them both,” Mom sounded like she was finding great pleasure in having this conversation. “We used to spike Jared’s juice with NyQuil when he was a kid when we flew anywhere.”

I covered my mouth so I didn’t burst out laughing too loud at that. I always thought Jared just fell asleep before we boarded because he’d spent too much time being uppity about flying. No wonder he always managed to sleep through flights when we were younger. Clint smirked over at me seeing the amusement playing on my face and my muffled laughter. 

“Best suggestion ever,” Clint grinned. With his free hand he pulled me to my feet. I flailed in protest but his grip was too tight. He began marching me towards the general store that was about the only thing still open. “I’m looking forward to a peaceful flight.”

“Can I at least talk to my Mom for a second?” when I couldn’t wriggle free from Clint’s grip I just let myself be pulled along. Looks like I was getting knocked out whether I wanted to or not. But it probably wasn’t a terrible suggestion. I’d have to keep it in mind for when Riley and I flew to Minnesota in 2 days time. Clint handed his phone to me and I turned it off speaker, pressing the iPhone to my ear.

“Are you still ok to pick us up from Rapid City on Tuesday?” 

Riley suggested that we spend the few days after Thanksgiving with my parents. Which meant a trip to Ellsworth, Nebraska where my Grandparents cattle ranch was located. So we’d fly to Minnesota about 24 hours after I got home. Spent the weekend there with Riley’s family and then catch another plane on Tuesday morning. Rapid City was the closest airport to my Grandparents ranch, even though it was still 140 miles away. I suggested we hire a car but Mom kept insisting she’d come and pick us up. I was hoping she’d change her mind but I wasn’t so lucky.

“Yes Kari,” Mom just laughed at me. “You aren’t getting out of that one. I’ll see you there at 1330 sharp. I promise I’ll just be me and your Dad. I won’t let anyone else come along.”

I held back my sigh of relief. It seems we’d had this discussion a few too many times over the last few weeks. That had been another thing Riley had gently encouraged me to do when I was struggling with everything. Just ring my Mom and talk to her. Mom was pretty shocked the first time I’d actually rang her out of the blue just to talk, but it helped. A lot. Even without Mom using her powers she just seemed to know how to soothe my frazzled emotions when things got stressful. We’d even done a video chat through Skype a few times which I always dragged Jared into. Mom had even managed to get Dad to join in one as well. That one had ended in Clint taking over the computer and harassing Dad about when his super heavyweight bow would be ready. It’d been a lot of fun and I found myself looking forward to those planned conversations. I’d even joined in on Riley doing the same with his Mom. I’d never forget the look on his Mom’s face when we were both there on the screen. Her first thing she said to Riley was how excited she was that I was real. His sister, Tessa had then stuck her head into the conversation and said I was far too pretty to be dating a loser like her brother. I spent more of the conversation laughing than I did contributing anything useful.

“I’m really excited you guys are coming,” Mom continued. “Even Jared said he’d duck in for a few days if he doesn’t get put on assignment right away.”

Jared was doing that as a massive favour to me. He was there to stave of some of the insanity that came in our family gatherings so Riley wouldn’t get scared off. It was Jared’s way of saying how much he actually liked and approved of Riley. 

“I’m excited too,” I smiled into the phone. “It’ll be good to see you and Dad. I haven’t seen you in months. Riley is excited too.”

“Everyone is excited to meet your boyfriend,” Mom teased me gently. “Its nice to see you bringing one home for holidays.”

“It’s nice to have a boyfriend to bring home,” I laughed. “Especially one like Riley.”

Mom had expressed to me a few times how much she liked Riley. After his initial confession about emailing my Mom he’d kept doing it openly. He seemed to enjoy their email banter which was very frequent. Mom liked Riley enough to start dropping not too subtle hints in that she wasn’t getting any younger and some grandchildren would be appreciated. At least that was easy to brush off. Riley and I hadn’t even dropped the L word yet. 

Clint had left me in front of the store while I was on the phone. In the short conversation I’d had with Mom he’d come back with NyQuil syrup, 2 bottles of Sprite and a very proud look on his face. 

“Hawk is back with my drugs,” I said dryly. “I’ll text you when we land.”

“Have some NyQuil and a few vodkas on the plane,” Mom suggested with a laugh. “Stop stressing. Love you and talk to you in 20 hours. Send me a text when you change flights in Dubai.”

“Love you too,” I said and before I could say goodbye properly Clint snatched the phone from my hands.

“Do I get a, I love you, for looking after your favourite daughter?” Clint quickly switched it back onto speakerphone. I tried to snatch the phone back but Clint was too quick to move out of my reach.

“No, you get a, make sure my only daughter comes home in one piece otherwise you’ll never get that bow,” Mom laughed. “Goodbye Barton.”

“Thanks Linda,” Clint grumbled in good humour into his phone. “Bye.”

“Bye Mom,” I called over Clint’s shoulder. “Tell Dad I need him to work out how to make bigger magazines for the AWSM so I get more than 5 shots.”

Mom didn’t bother to reply to that. I didn’t miss the sigh of defeat before she ended the call. That made me grin openly. I knew that she’d tell Dad, and then Dad would have something else to glue himself into his workshop for. Workaholic didn’t come close to describing Dad. Especially when he was neck deep into a new project. It’s no wonder she was already pestering me for Grandchildren. At least having an evil mini me would keep her amused while Dad played with his toys for all hours of the day and night. 

“Its good that you’re talking to your Mom,” Clint handed me one of the bottles of Sprite. “Ok lightweight, take a dose and next time I’ll bring valium with me.”

That was an even better idea than knocking myself out on NyQuil. I did as I was told, taking a capful of NyQuil and chasing the horrible tasting liquid down with half a bottle of Sprite. While I was pulling faces at the disgusting taste in my mouth, Clint went over and handed the rest to Jared. He stopped his pacing long enough to shoot off a nasty Icelandic curse at Clint before taking both of the offered items. He took a long swallow of the NyQuil and then drained his own Sprite in a few long mouthfuls. By the amount of NyQuil I think Jared had just taken, we’d be carrying him onto the plane. The dose was enough to make Jared stop pacing and finally sit down after only a few minutes. Being the lightweight Clint correctly called me, I sat down next to Jared, resting my head on his shoulder. I was tired and the drugs didn’t take long at all to start knocking me out. 

The call to board the plane came a lot quicker than I expected. I’d nearly dozed off on Jared’s shoulder when the loudspeaker snapped me back to fully awake again. It took a lot of effort to drag myself up off the seat and go stand in line. Clint was in front of me, so I draped my arms over him and rested my forehead against the back of his shoulder while we waited. There wasn’t much height difference between us so it was surprisingly comfortable as we shuffled along in the line. He only shrugged me off when it came time to board. The flight attendant scanned Clint’s boarding pass and then frowned at the computer momentarily. 

“It seems you’ve gotten a last minute upgrade Mr Barton,” the attendant smiled as she turned back to Clint. “You’re now flying business class.”

Simultaneously, all 4 of our phones sounded their various tones as a text message came through. I quickly pulled mine out of my pocket, squinting at the screen in my tired haze.

Enjoy the upgrade guys. Thanks for your hard work back here. Save some pumpkin pie for me. 

This should be awesome. I’d never flown business class before, but always envied the people who did. The lay flat bed was already calling to me and I hadn’t stepped foot on the plane yet. I glanced back to Jared who looked like he was suddenly regretting having such a big dose of NyQuil. Now I was really going to have to find Coulson the most awesome Christmas present in the world. I think I had just to thing sitting back in the attic at my Grandparents place. 

~ ~ ~

It turns out flying home from Afghanistan wasn’t the only time I was ever going to fly business class either. Riley had surprised me by booking business class seats as well. I needed to learn not to underestimate his sneakiness. We sat in the airport business lounge enjoying a drink before the flight to the airport in Rochester where we had a hire car to drive to about 15 miles out of Winona. 

“So how did you sneak those business class tickets in?” I asked as I stirred my scotch and dry around with a straw. I’d forgotten a dose of NyQuil to knock me out, so I was relying on the scotch instead. Even if it was only 11am. I was on my second one already and it was helping a lot to keep me calm.

Riley had booked the flights that night we’d stayed at the hotel. I’d made sure I’d given my credit card to pay for mine so he wasn’t paying for both of them. I even checked my balance to make sure he’d actually paid for mine with my own money. 

“I did use your credit card,” Riley just smirked at me over the rim of his Heineken. “I just paid for the upgrade myself so you wouldn’t notice.”

“You are so sneaky, I’m going to start calling you super spy,” I laughed at the smugly pleased expression all over Riley’s face. “You need to stop spoiling me.”

I wasn’t going to complain too much. Flying business class definitely had its perks. It’d made flying a lot less terrifying when you were comfortable and the flight attendants had premium beers and spirits. Though I think the latter had a bit more to do with it than being comfortable and having leg room. Poor Riley having to fly economy all the way back home from Afghanistan. I’d actually enjoyed being able to lay flat and stretch my legs out for the long flight. Maybe enjoy was a strong word, but it made it comfortable at least.

“You deserve to be spoilt,” Riley flashed me a grin. It was that heart melting and panty dropping grin all rolled into one. That grin that it very hard to resist whatever he was trying to charm his way into at the time. “Besides, I hate flying economy and I figured since you hate flying I need to hold your hand. All problems solved by upgrading the tickets.”

“Tickets?” I emphasised the S on the end of the word. Raising my eyebrows at Riley he suddenly looked a bit sheepish.

“Well, we are doing a few flights over the next week,” Riley offered a shrug as an apology. “So I kinda upgraded all of your tickets.”

“You know you’re making it harder and harder to try and buy for your birthday and Christmas when you keep dropping these amazing surprises for me,” I tried to grumble but I couldn’t stop smiling like an idiot. Riley’s birthday was on the 9th of December and I was having all kinds of struggle trying to find something to buy for him. He wasn’t being helpful either.

“I told you all I want for my birthday is you tied to my bed naked, with a can of whipped cream and bottle of chocolate syrup,” Riley smirked before leaning over to kiss me. He lingered on my lips a few moments far too long to be decent in public. With the thought in my head of what he just described it was very hard to resist grabbing him and making a disgusting pubic display of affection in our booth. “Maybe some Reeces Pieces for some strategic placement. I can think of a few places I’d eat them off.”

Riley had discovered my secret love of chocolate and peanut butter combined. I swear he brought out every store in Afghanistan while we were there. I never seemed to be without a bag the entire time we’d been there. I would really like for him to be eating them off me. I was so tired when I got home last night I’d fallen asleep for ages. I’d only woken up with enough time for one round with Riley before we had to get up and pack for the week away. That one round of us finally being alone and enjoying Riley’s king size bed wasn’t enough to even take the edge off how horny I was feeling. If anything it was like pouring petrol on a fire. 

“Stop it,” I giggled like an idiot. “You’re making me so horny.”

“How do you think I feel?” Riley shot me a pointed look.

The table was low enough my hands wouldn’t be seen wandering. I made no effort to cover up I was giving his crotch a firm grab. Riley bit his lip as soon as my hand came into contact with the erection already there. I teasingly ran my hand up and down a few times along his jeans. As I did I lent over and gently bit his neck. I could feel goosebumps on his skin under my lips and gentle teeth. A barely contained groan slipped from his lips as he pushed himself into my hand.

“Mile high club?” Riley breathed into my ear. 

“Says the person who didn’t want to have sex in the mens shower,” I laughed against him. “Besides, we already did that.”

The second last flight I’d done in the Quinjet and I was meant to be by myself. Clint had stayed back to Skype with Laura and the kids. So I asked Riley if he wanted to come with me since I did offer to teach him to fly if I could shoot his CheyTac. I’d done plenty of firing over the last few weeks on the CheyTac but I hadn’t been able to get him into a Quinjet. Not much flying got taught in that 2 hour flight as the Quinjet sat on autopilot most of the way there and back. It’d been a lot of fun. I was a bit of a late bloomer so I never got to experience the fumbling in the backseat of a car as a teenager. As an adult I was more than happy to make full use of my slim figure and flexibility in the co-pilot seat instead of a backseat. It was one experience I’d never forget. 

“This isn’t going to go away anytime soon,” Riley lent down to trail a line of kisses down my own neck. His teeth scraped along my sensitive skin, repaying the favour for a few moments ago on him. “This flight will be the death of me.”

“Here’s something to make it go away,” I lent forward and whispered in his ear. “We have to spend the next 5 days with your Mom.”

I pulled away in time just in time to see Riley pulling a slightly disgusted face at that. He was still rock hard and throbbing under my hand. Having my hand there probably wasn’t helping at all. I pulled away, sitting back up and putting a small gap between us to give Riley some space to settle down. 

“Didn’t help,” Riley chuckled as he sat back up, reaching for his beer again. “Really didn’t help.”

The disembodied voice came over the loudspeaker announcing our flight was ready to board.Riley groaned and let his head fall against the table at the bad timing of it all. I winced as his forehead hit with a very loud smack. I didn’t miss the wince of pain coming from Riley either. That wasn’t terribly smart of him. 

“I hope that helped,” I looked at Riley who had his eyes screwed shut tightly face down on the table. He just shook his head, not opening his eyes. 

“Think of Jared naked?” I tried unhelpfully.

“Gross,” Riley laughed. “Basically living with him for the last 7 weeks I’ve seen more of your brothers body than I ever want to in my life.”

Riley had a good point there. I think we’d all seen far more of each others bodies over the last 7 weeks than any of us really needed to. Natasha had been the worst for it. She really didn’t care about getting changed in the room and leaving the door unlocked while she did it. Jared and Clint didn’t care, but Riley blushed furiously every single time he’d walked in on her. Natasha liked to play on his shyness as well. Standing there half naked she’d try and start a conversation with Riley. I thought it was hilarious. Riley not so much.

“And Hawk,” I added with a grin. “Come on even you have to admit he’s pretty buff.”

“Barton’s body makes me want to cover mine in shame,” Riley pulled his head up off the table. “It's going away at last. Ready for this?”

A twinge of nerves hit me at the thought of what was about to happen. This was a bit nerve wracking going to meet Riley’s family. And then having to introduce him to the absolute chaos of my family was going to be even worse. I was about to find out if Riley really was in this for the long haul like he said when he was drunk. I just hoped I didn’t make an idiot of myself. I’d been warned that like every family he had the nosey relatives who wouldn’t be able to help themselves with all the standard embarrassing questions. The scotch had managed to edge some of the flying nerves off leaving me jittery but not a complete mess as we walked to the gate to board. Riley slung his arm around my shoulder as we walked as I held onto his waist. He’d been very cuddly since we’d gotten back. As we waited in line he reached over and kissed me on the cheek.

“My Mom already loves you and she is the only person you need to impress,” Riley squeezed me reassuringly. “Just ignore Aunt Emma when she gets on the Southern Comfort. You’re already amazing so just be yourself.”

Riley’s words calmed me down slightly. I had another 4 1/2 hours on the plane for those nerves to kick back in though. Part of me wanted to drink for most of the flight to keep the nerves at bay. But I definitely did not want to be a messy drunk while meeting his Mom for the first time. No matter how much Riley assured me she already loved me, I can guarantee that’d change very quickly if I did that. 

We boarded and got settled easily. I was still jet lagged so it was easy to fall asleep before takeoff. I didn’t wake up until Riley was shaking me as we pulled in for the landing. Judging by his expression he’d only just woken up as well. His hair was sticking up everywhere as he rubbed his eyes tiredly.

“My body is so out of whack,” I groaned as I stretched out feeling my joints crack and pop. “It doesn’t know what time zone it’s in.”

This jet lag was a killer. My body was telling me it was the early hours of the morning where it was actually late afternoon. Sleeping on the plane had done nothing except making me feel groggy and disorientated. I was very glad for an hour drive to make myself feel a bit more human before I actually met Riley’s Mom. I didn’t get much response from Riley except a few mumbled words like he always did when he was really tired. We both disembarked and staggered our way to get our bags. Standing there at the luggage carousel not paying any attention to anything except looking out for my purple suitcase, I felt before I saw the figure barreling into Riley and I.

“SURPRISE!” 

Those words were enough to make me want to run. Far, far away as quickly as possible and not come back until I was looking less like a zombie. I may have even made a step to my hasty exit before Riley grabbed my arm. Shit. There goes that plan.

“You didn’t have to come pick us up,” Riley sounded genuinely happy unlike my current inner turmoil. I turned to face the two people who I really didn’t want to see in my tired state. Riley’s Mom, Lynette, didn’t bother to answer. She just threw her arms around Riley and hugged him hard. She was a petite woman, so she was on tiptoes to deal with Riley’s height of 6’1. Her looks were the opposite of Riley, blonde hair which hadn’t faded with age, from the quick glance I saw of her face she had hazel eyes. Riley must have gotten all his looks from his Dad, because his sister Tessa looked like a younger version of Lynette. 

“You look completely freaked out,” Tessa stepped in while Riley and Lynette hugged. 

“I was hoping to not look this awful by the time we got there,” I couldn’t stop the spew of words coming from my mouth.

“Yeah you look like shit,” Tessa didn’t mince words as she looked me up and down. “Fuck you’re tall. I hate being short. I’d hug you but you look like you’d go all STRIKE ninja on my ass.”

My laugh came out as high pitched and strained. God I sounded like a complete idiot as well as looking like something dragged out of a zombie apocalypse. Could this situation get any worse? Oh wait I still had to meet Lynette who hadn’t let go of Riley yet. He hadn’t been home since last year and he missed his family like crazy. Lynette finally let go of Riley and took the two steps towards me. Unlike Tessa she didn’t wait for permission she just enveloped me in a huge hug. My nerves slowly started to dwindle as Lynette hugged me like we’d know each other for years.

“And it’s so good to finally see you Kari,” Lynette’s smile was contagious as well. Despite myself I hugged her back and felt a smile start to pull on my face. “Oh you’re just as gorgeous in person. You look exhausted, what time did you fly in?”

Lynette stepped back and looked me over carefully. It wasn’t a rude or sizing me up look, more one of concern of how I actually was. I was touched by how much she looked like she genuinely cared.

“I came in about 6 hours after Riley,” I explained. “The jet lag is killing me.”

“Lets get home then,” Lynette’s bright smile never faltered. “You two can have a sleep before we go out for dinner tonight.”

“Where are we going for dinner?” Riley had grabbed both our suitcases while I was hugging Lynette. He wasn’t looking very enthusiastic about the prospect of going out for dinner. I can’t say I was terribly thrilled about it either. A nice quiet night in would have done me for tonight.

“Just the local steakhouse with your Uncle,” Lynette was quick to soothe Riley. “I know you guys are tired. I beat everyone else away until Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow.”

The promise of steak perked me up incredibly. After living off mess food, a great big steak would go down very nicely. Hopefully with a beer or two as well. Riley must have had the exact same thought running through his head because he looked over to me. I nodded eagerly in agreement which made him smile. Tessa was watching us interact and just rolled her eyes. It eerily looked like Jared when she did that. 

“Well, I can't ever say no to a good steak,” Riley gave Lynette a wry grin. “Lead the way.”

It was a bit over an hour drive back to Riley’s hometown. We both sat in the back, Riley in the middle next to me. Lynette drove and kept the conversation light and easy, keeping all my nerves at bay. Tessa kept injecting into the conversation with her own smart ass humour. She was definitely the opposite of Riley personality as well as looks. Outspoken and definitely not shy about saying what she really meant. By the time we pulled up I don’t think Riley had stopped blushing since 15 minutes ago when Tessa started on the embarrassing stories from when they were kids. There was only a 13 month gap between them so they grew up very close. 

The family house was gorgeous. It was set a mile back from the road, showing off the open farm land with some cattle scattered in the snowy paddocks. The family chicken farm was set in a completely different part of the massive acreage so it couldn’t be seen from the house. Or so Lynette told me as we drove up the hill. The house was a massive log cabin. It was double story judging by the large bay windows standing out from the steeple roof. And it was huge. While I never asked Riley how successful their family business was, right now it was staring at me right in the face. My nerves from earlier came back full force at the thought of all of Riley’s extended family being here tomorrow night.

“Lets get inside, it's freezing and I need a nap,” Riley brushed a quick kiss on my cheek before climbing over the other side of the car to the opposite door. By the time I opened the door and got my legs working again enough to stand up, Riley already had both our suitcases out of the car and was waiting for me. Lynette and Tessa were both already a few steps ahead of us, leaving us in a rare moment of solitude. We both stripped off our heavy jackets and shoes at the door. It was freezing here and the weather forecast promised a few more inches of snow by tomorrow.

“The house looks amazing,” I murmured as I grabbed my suitcase handle. “It’s massive.”

“Mom always wanted a big log house on top of the hill,” Riley explained with a small smile as we started to walk towards the house. “So when they could finally afford it, Dad went a little bit crazy with it. Mom says she would have loved it even if it was a one bedroom shack. I strongly disagree. I think Mom more than enjoyed being able to banish Tessa and I to opposite ends of the house when we were being little assholes.”

“You be a little asshole?” I laughed at him. “I couldn’t imagine it.”

“No you’re right,” Riley grabbed the handle of my suitcase and pulled it up the stairs. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at him. He still wasn’t letting me lift anything he thought was too heavy. Despite being cleared by the doctor’s weeks ago with my shoulder blade, Riley was still being over cautious about me lifting anything. “I was the perfect child. I was never in trouble.”

The reply I had to that died on my lips as we walked inside. The front door instantly opened into a large lounge room. Polished floorboards and wooden ceilings stretched out glowing dimly in the late afternoon light. The lounge room seemed to stretch for ages, finally opening into the dining room and kitchen. A hallway and set of stairs sat off to my right, waiting to be explored as well. Right now I was just content to go sit by the stone fireplace and enjoy the view from the bay windows over the property. 

“We’ll do the tour later,” Riley gave my hand a small tug as I stood there gawking at the interior. “Mom, what time are we leaving?”

Riley raised his voice which was carried clearly through the open plan downstairs. I hadn’t seen where Lynette or Tessa had disappeared to.

“6:30 or 1830 so you can’t be smart and say you don’t know civilian time,” Lynette’s voice called back from somewhere towards the kitchen. “If you aren’t down here I have no problems barging in.”

“Got it,” Riley led the way up the staircase, again dragging both our suitcases up with him. Not that mine was heavy, I just couldn’t wrestle it out of his hands. The staircase was made out of the same polished wood as the floors. I couldn’t help but to rub my hands over it as we climbed the stairs. Riley went to the left and down the hallway which was lined with the same large windows as downstairs letting all he natural light in. I couldn’t help but to stop and stare at the view at the back of the house. Open paddocks turned into lightly timbered woods about half a mile from the house. A creek ran though the light wooded section. It sparkled like diamonds in the frosty afternoon.

“Wow,” I stood there staring out the window. The view was to die for. I could happily curl up by the window and watch the world go past with a view like that. 

“Its even better in summer,” Riley paused next to me. “The rain makes everything green and its all you can see for miles. We’ll go out on the quad bikes out exploring if you want.”

Riley tugged my hand, looking a little impatient to be getting to bed. I knew that look well. He wasn’t impatient to get some sleep. I knew exactly what he wanted as soon as we got to his room. I tagged along only a step behind him. We reached the end of the long hallway and Riley flung the door open.

His room matched the rest of the house with the high timber ceilings and polished floorboards. Bookcases lined 2 of the walls that were full of trophies, photos and the occasional book thrown in there. A queen sized bed sat in the middle of the room, in front of the wall mounted TV. The afternoon sun came from the large window to the left of the bed. It was a window seat, complete with cushions already sitting on it. Near the window another door led into what I assumed was an ensuite.

“Yeah I’m just going to live here,” I grinned as I spun around in a slow circle to take everything in. “This is incredible.”

“I love it here too,” Riley chuckled as he watched me. He’d taken our luggage over to the foot of the bed and left them both sitting there as he stepped towards me again. I didn’t let him get far. I closed the gap between us, throwing myself into Riley I kissed him while wrapped my arms around his neck. He flinched in surprise against my lips but was quick to respond to my tongue teasing against his lips. I pushed him back towards the bed until we both fell onto it, Riley on his back and me sprawled over Riley. 

No words were needed as my fingers swiftly went for his belt and jeans, making short work of both of them. I got off him to yank both of them down, letting Riley kicked them off the rest of the way. Laying there mostly naked trying to get his pants off over his shoes, I took an opportunity I didn’t normally get with Riley. After all this time sleeping together I’d never once given him a blow job. Every single time I went to do it he’d distract me with something else. It was frustrating the shit out of me because he wouldn’t answer me when I asked him about it. Kneeling beside him on the bed I quickly seized my chance. 

Bending down, I grabbed Riley’s now mostly erect cock in my hand. Before he could protest, or even say anything I wrapped my lips around the head of his cock, teasing my tongue around the tip. The jerk of surprise and the moan that escaped from Riley’s lips made me grin to myself. I wasted no time in sliding my mouth down onto him a few more inches, feeling my jaw stretch to accommodate him. I took my time in slowly dragging my tongue and lips back up and down a few times. 

“Fuck,” Riley drew the explicative out over a few syllables. The word came out more of a breathy moan making me glance up at him. Riley was lying back, his hands fisted in the bedspread with white knuckles as he clutched at the material. His eyes were closed and a look of pure bliss written all over his face. 

I picked up the pace, giving Riley a reminder about my comment from months ago about a lack of gag reflex. One of his hands tangled through my hair as I slurped my way up and down. I knew Riley’s body well by now. He was getting very close to cumming in a short amount of time. His breathing got erratic, his hips started to jerk as he tried to stop his body from pushing further into my mouth. I moaned on his cock, sending vibrations through his body.

That action was enough to make him blow with any warning. I grinned to myself as I felt him twitch and moan underneath me as he seemed to go forever. When he was finally done I pulled my mouth off him and looked up. Riley was laying there breathing heavily looking completely strung out. I sat back on my haunches and waited for him to come back down into this solar system before I spoke up.

“That was fun,” I grinned down at him. 

“That was,” Riley looked like he was having a hard time stringing a coherent sentence together. “Wow.”

“Are you back on this plant yet?” I giggled as I traced my finger down his abs. His shirt had ridden up sometime during his blow job leaving his stomach exposed. I enjoyed trailing my fingers over the defined muscle and down happy tail of hair from his belly button down to his crotch. 

“You weren’t joking when you said you had no gag reflex,” Riley’s own laugh was still breathless. “Shit Kari, where the hell did you learn that?”

He still hadn’t moved yet, but at least he could put a sentence together now.

“I worked with all guys,” I explained as I slid my hands back up his stomach, pushing his shirt further up. “Most of the time they’d forget I was in the same room and I learnt a lot of what guys like.”

Riley shirt was now bunched up around his neck giving me a nice view of his chest. He sat up quickly and pulled it off the rest of the way. Leaving me with a full view of his now completely naked body. This was defiantly one of my favourite views in the world. I couldn’t stop running my hands over his body and playing with the defined muscles. Riley stopped my wandering hands and pulling himself back into a sitting position. Not to be deterred or have my fun stopped, I sat in his lap, wrapping my legs around his waist. 

“You have far too many clothes on,” Riley didn’t wait for an answer. He pulled my shirt over my head and quickly unclasped my bra. The clothes barely hit the floor before Riley lent forward and kissed me. It was sweet and tender, not the passionate kiss I was expecting. He pulled back from me after a few seconds. I didn’t even get a chance to open my eyes before Riley spoke.

“I love you,” Riley’s voice was barely above a whisper. 

My eyes snapped open at those 3 words being whispered to me. I sat there in shock for a few seconds waiting for my mind to process what I’d just heard. When I was sure that’s what I really heard, it wasn't hard for me to say the next few words. Especially with the increasing look of nerves on Riley’s face as we sat there in silence.

“I love you too,” I couldn’t stop the idiotic grin creeping onto my face. 

I’d been there for a few weeks now. It was just after our night away I knew it. I was just far too chicken to actually say it first. Mom had caught onto it straight away one day and told me that a strong, independent woman like myself shouldn’t have any problems in saying it first. But the small part of me that had a bit of romantic feelings always wanted to hear Riley say it first. Mom had been very quick to point out that unlike me, Riley was emotionally mature and was already there as well so I had no chance of him freaking out about me saying it. Mom kind of took the fun out of discovering emotions for myself sometimes.

“Yeah?” a grin started to grow on Riley’s face as well.

“Yeah,” I felt sheepish admitting the next part. “I was too chicken to say it first.”

I lent forward to kiss Riley again, but he gently dodged the kiss. Before I could get confused he quickly start to talk again.

“Will you move in with me?” Riley’s next words were rushed. “Officially? You have no idea how happy it makes me to have you around all the time.”

“Of course I will,” I laughed quietly. I didn’t even need to think of my answer for that one. “I’ve gotten into this bad habit of always wanting you in my bed.”

“You have no idea how easy it’s been to fall in love with you,” Riley chuckled. He lent forward so our foreheads were touching. “I love you so much and happy doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel that you love me back.”

I closed the gap between our lips and kissed Riley again. I wasn’t good with words, but I could definitely show him how happy I was too.


	28. Chapter 28

There was shots going off around me as I ran. I ran so hard and fast my legs could barely keep up the pace. I staggered to my knees a few times before being yanked back to my feet. It was so dark. I couldn’t see anything. All I could hear was my own ragged breathing, gunfire and the occasional scream.

Something burning hot scorched across my cheek, making me jerk back in surprise. I barely had time to react before a blinding explosion went off. I closed my eyes, there was nothing I could do to make it stop. I was going to die right here and now. Nothing could stop it. 

After so much noise the silence was deafening. My eyes cracked open to my own surprise as I stared out in front of me. What had been dark, was now bright and I could see everything clearly in front of me. I didn’t want to though. My stomach recoiled in horror as the scene in front of me. The landscape was frozen as far as the eye could see. Everyone along with it. Riley, Clint, Rumlow and his STRIKE team. All dead. All because of me. My hands were hot and sticky forcing me to look down. They were covered in blood. So much blood that it was dripping off my hands onto the frozen ground. When I looked up again there was the dark face of the hostile I’d killed. He was bleeding from the neck, but still standing in front of me. Without a word or any sign of emotion he drove a knife right through my neck.

I bolted upright in bed, wrapping my hand around my neck frantically searching for the knife I thought was still there. My hands were freezing cold, bringing me back to reality. I was in Riley’s room. He was deep in sleep, not even a twitch came from him as I sat there with my entire body shaking. I buried my face into my hands trying to get the horrible vision of the nightmare gone from my head. 

Breathe. Just breathe. I chanted in my head forcing myself to breath normally as my chest tightened. It was just a dream. A horrific and very detailed dream, not one I’d had before. I was fine, it wasn’t real. It was just some lingering effect from that mission that my mind was playing on in my sleep. I lay back down getting myself back under control. Riley shifted in his sleep, his hand reaching out where I’d just been. I tangled my fingers through his, feeling reassured by the warmth of his skin against mine. I could feel every callous, scar and bump against my hand. All parts of him that I’d grown to know so well. Knowing that it was him touching me slowly made the lingering effects of the nightmare start to dwindle away. Riley would want me to wake him if I had a nightmare, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it with him sleeping so peacefully. I wasn't the only one who had trouble sleeping sometimes.

I tried to settle back down and fall asleep. But every time I closed my eyes I could see the nightmare start to play in my mind again. If my eyes were open it stopped. It was 0515 and still dark outside. I was wide awake and I couldn’t see myself getting back to sleep. I made the decision to sneak out for a morning run to clear my head. 

Riley didn’t move as I quietly got up and got dressed. I envied his ability to sleep through just about anything. The few bourbons he had last night would definitely be helping in that regard. Dinner had been a nice casual affair with his Uncle Ben and Aunt Emma. Both had been polite to me after I’d gotten the critical look down and 20 questions thrown at me. I don’t think his Aunt approved of my career choice at all. But she was too polite to voice it much. She just gave me a lot of disapproving looks instead. Ben, as he insisted I call him by, was far more impressed by my knowledge of weapons. He’d been the very easy one to talk to. By the time we’d gotten home both Riley and I had fallen asleep as soon as we’d gotten to bed.

The house was quiet as I tiptoed my way out to the front porch. A run down the driveway and back would nearly be 2 miles, more than enough time to clear my head. I didn’t bother stretching. I just took off at a brisk pace in the dark morning. The solitude of the freezing cold morning quickly cleared my head as I settled into an easy pace. The cold air hurt my lungs, but it was invigorating to breath in the fresh country air. By the time I touched the mailbox and headed back I was already feeling more settled. 

I was red face and panting by the time I reached the back door. It took me a minute to gather my breath back enough to straighten up from my bent position. My body was screaming in protest at me, but at least my mind felt clear now. Any lingering thoughts about that nightmare were long gone. I couldn’t remember enough detail for it to give me the anxiety like it had before. I pulled my hair out of the messy bun and quickly ran my fingers through it, airing the sweat out of it. Hair tie in my mouth, I opened the back door and stepped into the kitchen.

Lynette was already there, sitting at the table with a mug in hand she looked up in surprise at the sound of the door opening.

“Morning, coffee?” Lynette got up before I could protest that I’d make my own. 

“Thank you,” I said instead as I went to the fridge to grab out a bottle of water. I sat down at the table, taking a long drink. The kitchen was quiet as Lynette moved around making another coffee. She put it in front of me and sat across from me. I took sip, closing my eyes in satisfaction as the hot liquid slid down my throat. The caffeine was more than welcome after the morning torture I just put myself through.

“Bad dream?” Lynette asked. I nearly choked on the coffee I’d just taken a sip of. One thing I’d quickly learnt about Lynette was she didn’t beat around the bush with anything. If she wanted to know something she’d come right out and ask.

“Sorry?” I pretended to play dumb looking over my cup innocently. 

“Riley always gets up and goes for a run when he had a nightmare,” Lynette explained. “Says it clears his head. Do you want to talk about it?”

“Its just a dream,” I shook my head. “Just my head twisting things into bullshit. It's not real.”

“Still, sometimes it helps to talk,” Lynette said kindly. “If you want to that is.”

“Does Riley talk about his?” I deflected with my own question.

“Sometimes,” Lynette said simply. “Other times he doesn’t want to burden anyone with his problems and bottles it up.”

“We do have that in common,” I said dryly taking another sip of coffee. I have no idea what brand of coffee it was but it was working miracles on my body right now. I thought Lynette would drop the subject, but she just sat there patiently waiting for me to speak. I swear there must be a Mother handbook when you have a child. It was the same look that I’d get from my own Mom. Laura did a pretty damn good job of it too. Even if it was the look she mostly gave her husband.

“We had a pretty shitty mission back in Afghanistan,” I finally relented with a small sigh. “It was just my mind warping what happened. It was pretty horrible.”

“And not real,” Lynette reached over and patted my hand comfortingly. “Riley told me about that mission. Even he was rattled by it. He can’t say a lot about what he does, but what he does tell me is enough to give me grey hairs.”

Lynette was probably lucky in that regard she didn't know every detail of the mission. My Mom had the clearance level to know everything that went on. While she never admitted it I had a feeling she kept tabs on my mission reports. 

“I think the only one not rattled by it was Barton,” I took another sip of coffee to hide my discomfort.

“That’s Hawkeye isn't it?” Lynette asked. When I nodded in confirmation a grin grew across her face. “Riley’s idol. I’m surprised he hasn’t swooned in his presence.”

I gaped at Lynette for a second before bursting out laughing. Wow, that was something new. I hadn’t picked that at all in all the time I’d know him. Both Riley and Clint were quiet people if they didn’t know someone terribly well. I thought it was just Riley being his usual quiet self around Clint. It’d taken Clint a bit to warm up to Riley enough to start a conversation with him. But after our stay in Afghanistan they seemed pretty comfortable around each other. I hadn’t noticed until now that Riley actually never struck up a conversation with Clint. It was always the other way around.

“I can’t wait to tell Hawk that,” I finally stopped laughing enough to speak. “He’ll think its great. He really likes Riley. They can talk for hours on shooting and different tactics. Nat and I just get bored with it.

“And another name that sounds funny to hear you speak so casually of,” Lynette shook her head in amusement. “The famous Black Widow. I heard all about that tequila night.

“My body still hates me for that tequila night,” I wrinkled my nose at the mere thought of tequila. I don’t think I’d ever be able to drink it again.

There was a small stretch of silence as we both sat back enjoying our coffee. Lynette was the first to speak up again. 

“You’ve done wonders for my boy,” Lynette’s smile was beaming at me. “I honestly never thought he’d ever date again, let alone find someone to coax him back out of his shell. I haven’t seen him this happy in a very long time.”

“I haven’t done anything,” I felt my face heat up with embarrassment. “I’ve just been myself.”

“Which is exactly what Riley needs,” Lynette finished the last of her coffee and stood up. “He’s had his share of fake and plastic girls. I’m just glad a little bit of misfortune in his life brought what he considers the best thing that ever happened to him. Breakfast?”

Lynette was definitely a lot like my own Mom. There was never any room for arguments with her. When she spoke her mind it was final and there was no arguing or changing it. 

“Only if I’m not going to be a bother,” My tactful way of not giving an answer was met by Lynette striding over to the fridge and pulling out bacon and eggs. Why did I have a feeling Riley let her know in advance what my favourite breakfast was? When she held them up I could only nod in confirmation.

“All I’m cooking today is the turkey,” Lynette gave me a reassuring smile as she turned her back towards the stove. “So don’t even think you’re being a bother. If you really feel the need to do something you and Riley can go and take some hay out to the cows after breakfast. Everyone will be here about 11.”

“People are up far too early,” Riley’s voice carried across the kitchen. I craned my head around to look at him padding into the kitchen in just his boxers. It was a very nice sight so early in the morning. The thought that he was mine and he loved me just made that stupid grin appear on my face all over again. It was contagious, Riley’s own grin grew on his face as he walked over to me.

“People shouldn’t sleep in,” I teased Riley as he bent down and gave me a good morning kiss. He looked at my attire curiously and raised an eyebrow at me in question. I just shrugged as an explanation. I’d tell him later. 

“People shouldn’t go for a run without waking me up,” Riley half teased as he sat down next to me at the table. Though he tone was joking he looked at me carefully. “You didn’t even take your phone.”

I hadn’t thought to. It was still sitting on the bedside table on charge. There was no way I could have gotten lost so I hadn’t bothered grabbing it. I wasn’t in the mood for music either.

“I’m just enjoying the peace and quiet out here,” I took a sip of coffee while still smiling at Riley. He didn’t look annoyed. Just slightly concerned about why I’d felt the need to get up and go for a run by myself. 

“Is Tessa up?” Riley changed the subject as he turned to face Lynette who was dropping the entire packet of bacon into a pan. The smell of the bacon sizzling made my stomach grumble despite the huge dinner I had last night. Another thing Aunt Emma probably thought badly of me for. Like Riley I’d ordered the biggest steak they had along with extra side helpings. With the amount of physical activity that came with our jobs I was starting to easily eat the crazy daily calorie intake I needed. Or more to the point I just started copying nearly everything Clint or the other STRIKE guys ate. My body was thanking me for it and finally starting to put some muscle back on. I was back up around the 125 mark much to my relief. I was already slim enough without looking like a stick insect along with it.

“Is Tessa up,” Lynette snorted in dry humour. “The sun is barely up so what makes you think your sister would be up? She won’t get out of bed until her boyfriend gets here.”

“Oh,” Riley nodded and then did a double take. “Hang on, since when does Tessa have a boyfriend?”

“Since about a month ago, so be nice,” Lynette turned to face Riley. She pointed the egg flipper at Riley while she spoke as if to warn him. “Kari, how do you like your eggs?”

“Cooked,” I said unhelpfully with a cheeky grin. It was quickly wiped off my face by the dead panned expression I got. It was one that would have made Natasha proud. “Scrambled please.”

“Do I get coffee?” Riley flashed a charming grin at his Mom. He got the exact same expression I did so hastily got to his feet. Before he did I held out my mug to him.

“Mine’s empty,” I said sweetly. “You know how I like it.”

“Yes I do,” Riley grinned at the double meaning behind my words. He reached down and gave me a lingering kiss before moving off to get us both coffee. I saw Lynette watching us out of the corner of my eye with her own smile. Her earlier words echoed in my head about the wonders I’ve done for Riley. Most days I’d say it was the other way around. 

By the time Riley had made coffee, breakfast was ready. It was a relaxing conversation around the table with the three of us. As soon as we were finished Lynette shooed us out and told us not to worry about coming back in until everyone else was here. And to go outside and feed the cows. It was lightly snowing outside and I couldn’t wait to get out. The low grey clouds promised more than a dusting of snow and I wanted to have a good play before the weather got too bad. Riley was less than enthusiastic about going outside in the snow but he still got dressed and soon we were heading out to the shed behind the house. 

Riley loaded up a few bales of hay onto the quad bike with the ease of years of practice while I sat on the seat. I couldn’t help but grin at him as he did it. I wouldn’t have picked him for a country boy when I first met him. But out here he looked more comfortable than he ever did back in DC. 

“Scoot,” Riley instructed. I looked up at him with an arched eyebrow.

“Out of the two of us who rides the motorbike?” I sassed him, but did as I was told. I moved back on the seat. Riley swung his leg over and I slid forward again, wrapping my arms around his waist. I kissed the exposed part on the back of his neck as he went to start the quad.

Riley put it into gear and hit the electric start. The quad lurched forward nearly sending both of us over the handlebars. 

“Clutch,” I laughed as I got settled back down.

“Shush I forgot,” Riley sounded very sheepish. He did as I pointed out and the quad bike started this time. With one big rev we were heading out in the cold winter morning at a fairly decent speed. My face was frozen solid in a few seconds but it was a lot of fun. Riley knew the path well and it was a smooth ride down to one of the paddocks where a small group of cows were hanging around the gate waiting for their breakfast. 

It didn't take us long to unload the hay and throw it over the fence. Most of the cows were pretty friendly and hung around for a pat before meandering over to their breakfast. Riley knew them all by name and pointed out his obvious favourite ones.

“Do you name all the chickens too?” I teased him gently as one certain cow he called Scruff wouldn’t leave him alone. She kept shoving her brown head into his chest whenever he stopped patting her.

“I hate the chickens,” Riley laughed as he scratched Scruff hard behind her floppy ears. “I stay as far away as possible as I can from there. I did more than my fair share of work there when I was younger. Come on, I’ll show you the rest of the farm.”

With one last pat, Riley left Scruff alone. She gave him a sad look before finally going to eat her own breakfast. We climbed back on the quad, Riley started it without any incident this time. The snow had just started to fall as we raced along the open fields. It didn't take long to reach the creek that I’d seen from the window. Riley steered the quad along the bank for a bit before pulling up in a fairly secluded spot. The creek was still running despite the cold weather. 

“This is my favourite spot,” Riley explained as he lent forward onto the handlebars. “I had this big plan before we got here.”

“What was that?” I wrapped my arms around him tighter, resting my chin on his shoulder.

“I was going to bring you down here for a picnic, tell you I loved you down here,” Riley threw a grin over his shoulder. “Then it just felt right so I said it anyway. All my well laid out plans went out the window.”

“Do you plan everything?” I grinned back as I kissed his cheek. His face was freezing under my warm lips. 

“Would it surprise you to know I already know what I’d want to say for my wedding vows if we ever get married?” Riley chuckled. He squeezed my arms. “You’d be surprised the shit I think of while sitting there bored out of my mind while waiting for a target.”

“Like?” I gently prodded Riley. He was getting more and more open with me. I loved these moments when he’d actually speak his mind and tell me more about himself. 

“The very unmanly stuff like I told you that night I was drunk,” Riley admitted. His hand found mine and he tangled his fingers around mine. 

“It wasn’t unmanly,” I said with a small chuckle. “I was just glad you were opening up to me.”

“I’m working on that,” Riley said dryly but with plenty of humour in his voice. “I even shut my mind up long enough for you to give me a blow job and enjoy it.”

“That’s because I’m awesome,” I said smugly. “Do you want to tell me about that?”

“Its stupid so don’t laugh,” Riley wriggled out of my grip. He turned around so he was facing me on the seat. 

I sat there patiently waiting for him to get comfortable. This was obviously a big deal for him so I wasn’t going to interrupt or say anything smart. 

“So, Sarah used to only ever give me a blow job when she wanted something,” Riley’s ears had quickly turned red in embarrassment. “And the girlfriend before used to do the same. So I cant shut my head up long enough thinking what the hell does she want this time to actually enjoy it.”

“The only thing I want is for you to return the favour,” I smiled at him. “Which you do without fail every single time.”

“I know,” Riley gave me a lopsided smile. “I’m trying, I really am.”

“The fact you’re telling me stone cold sober is more than enough,” I reached forward and kissed him. I pulled away after a second with a small grin on my face. “Besides, I love you and thats all that matters.”

“You have no idea how happy to makes me,” Riley grinned back. He put his hand behind my head and pulled me back in for another kiss. As he kissed me I pulled myself into him as closely as I could. His lips warmed my entire body up, not just my lips. If only it wasn't so cold I could see us stripping off and having a naked romp through the creek. 

“Come on,” Riley finally pulled away. “I’ll show you the rest of the farm. We might even make it back in time for lunch.”

Riley’s little tour took us until 1130 to make it back to the house. We kept stopping for small make out sessions. Or Riley to tell me about things he used to do when he as younger. We’d followed the creek to the boundary of the farm. There it’d widened into a large pool which had a swinging rope suspended from one of the trees. Seeing me look at it longingly, Riley promised we’d come back over summer and bring a tent down here to camp overnight. I was quick to agree to that idea. The more he showed me, the more I was falling in love with the farm. Despite the cold and the increasing snow making us both half frozen, it’d been an amazing morning. 

We both managed to get inside without being seen. The multiple and loud voices from the kitchen and lounge room was enough warning that everyone had arrived. The house smelt amazing though. My mouth watered at the smell of turkey and roast potatoes wafting through the air. Despite my big breakfast I was suddenly starving again. It didn't take long to get upstairs, have a quick shower and get dressed. Last night had put my nerves at ease about today. If I could deal with his Aunt Emma and her disapproving looks, then the rest of his family should be a piece of cake. 

Well, here’s hoping it would be a piece of cake.

~~~

“I’m STRIKE as well,” as soon as those words left my mouth there was complete silence around the table. I pretended to be completely unfazed by it as I piled sweet potato mash on my plate. So far it seemed it wasn’t just Aunt Emma who didn’t think it was an appropriate job for me. 

“I didn’t think women were allowed to be STRIKE,” Riley’s other Aunt, Tracey, spoke up with the same disapproving look Aunt Emma was giving me. Lynette was hiding her smile behind the glass of whatever she was drinking. It seemed she was about the only female that wasn’t so old fashioned.

“There’s only Natasha and I, but females are definitely allowed to be STRIKE,” I shrugged as I put the sweet potato mash down and took the plate of roast potatoes from Riley. “SHIELD doesn't exactly discriminate on gender. I think most people are too scared of Natasha to say anything.”

Riley laughed at that, nodding his head in agreement. 

“Kari was recruited straight from the Air Force as well,” Tessa supplied with an overly bright smile on her face. “She and Riley have so much in common.”

I smirked over towards Tessa, silently thanking her for the support. 

“I didn’t know you were Air Force as well,” unlike the females, Uncle Ben smile was genuine and warm. “SHIELD throw you a good offer did they?”

“The best,” I lied smoothly. Technically it wasn’t really a lie. I’d much rather be doing this than being stuck in the Fridge. 

“And what did you do in the Air Force?” Aunt Tracey’s husband, Scott, spoke up. Unlike Uncle Ben he seemed to be giving me the same look as the other women at the table. Apparently Riley’s Dads side of the family seemed to think a woman’s place was still in the kitchen. What I wouldn’t give to have Natasha here dealing with the sexist attitude. She’d have a lot of fun toying with them. I couldn’t lie, I was having a bit of fun toying with them as well. 

“Pilot,” I shrugged not going into too much detail. No doubt if I said I was a Raptor pilot there’d be even more disapproving looks.

“So what do you do Jesse?” Riley cut in as he spoke to Tessa’s boyfriend who’d been mostly silent since we’d arrived downstairs. He’d mostly stuck right beside Tessa the entire time and only spoke when he was spoken to. He seemed nice enough in the few short sentences we’d spoken together. 

“I’m a teacher at the high school,” despite his quietness there was no nerves in his voice. “Science and maths. I hadn’t even heard of SHIELD until this morning. So what does STRIKE do?”

“STRIKE is basically your paramilitary unit for SHIELD,” Riley filled in. “They cover clandestine operations on national and foreign soil.”

“Sounds heavy,” Jesse shot an impressed look in my direction. “What does that exactly cover?”

“A lot of stuff we can’t speak about,” Riley said tactfully. “I’m not being rude when I say that either.”

“Perhaps SHEILD shouldn’t stick their noses in when theres plenty of other perfectly good government agencies out there that can handle things without all the smoke and mirrors,” Uncle Scott said bluntly. “Besides any agency that hides all the mutants, even gives them jobs, has a lot to answer for.”

Riley’s free hand went under the table to grip my leg. I wasn’t sure if it was to stop me getting up and smacking him across the face. Or to reassure me. Either way the attitude didn’t bother me that much. I’d heard a lot worse before. Someone with views that like didn’t deserve my energy at being angry at them. I didn’t miss the slight paling of Jesse’s face though. I tried not to stare at him in question. For him to look like that he either knew someone close who was Enhanced, or he was himself. 

“That’s rude Scott,” Lynette scolded instantly. I didn’t miss the flick of her gaze towards me. It was brief enough that no one else would have noticed it. It didn’t surprise me that Riley had told his Mom everything about me. “Besides, we have guests who probably don’t want to hear your bigot attitude.”

“I’m just saying how it is,” Uncle Scott argued back. He didn’t looked phased at all that he could have just possibly offended someone.

“And this is why I didn’t want to come home with everyone here,” Riley said under his breath so only I could hear it. I took his hand under the table and gave it a squeeze. We only had to make it through the next few hours and then it’d be over. Now I know why Riley was upset about the entire family being here. My family might be a little crazy with powers being thrown around the table. But at least everyone could be civil. One nasty thought and Grams would call you out on it and you’d find yourself doing some unpleasant. 

“I’m getting a beer,” Riley announced, getting to his feet. “Do you want one Jesse?”

Riley didn’t need to ask me. I’d never say no to a beer even if it was midday. But the look on his face told me he was doing this just to rile his relatives up. The small smirk on Lynette’s face gave it away too.

“Its too early to drink,” Aunt Emma’s disapproving look was back.

“I’m still jetlagged,” Riley smiled sweetly. “My body is telling me its 5pm. Beer or scotch baby?”

Riley gave me a wink. I managed to stop myself from laughing at his shit stirring. He never called me baby, or any other ridiculous pet name. 

“Beer please,” I smiled back just as sweetly. “I’ll save the scotch for dessert.”

“If we’re breaking into that bottle of Chivas Regal I’ll have a scotch for dessert too,” Uncle Ben sent a quick grin on our direction. Unlike his wife, he seemed to have no problems about drinking at this early hour. At least we had an ally there.

Lunch was amazing. Despite the chilly company from the woman and Uncle Scott. Jesse opened up more after a beer talking about his job and in return asking more about us. Tessa seemed completely smitten and it was Riley’s turn to tease them both. Unlike his family counterparts Uncle Ben was more than interested in hearing about our work. He kept trying to pry informations out of me about my time in the Air Force which I kept deflecting.

Riley had gotten up for grab another round of beers. As soon as he was out of earshot Aunt Emma spoke to me directly for nearly the first time. 

“So Kari,” she sounded less than impressed as she stared at me over her own glass. “Should we be expecting wedding bells anytime soon?”

Oh fuck it. Here come this embarrassing questions. I thought I was going to be spared from them.

“As soon as he asks,” I wished I had some beer left to take a drink to cover my discomfort. “I have to say, it's looking more and more like we’d just run to Vegas and elope to be honest.”

My none too subtle dig at their rudeness was met by a few quiet and barely muffled sniggers from around the table. 

“And how on earth do you expect to fit a family life around your job?” Aunt Emma wasn’t deterred. “Or are you going to be one of these women want their career first and hope you can still manage a family when you’re in your 40’s.”

“Both my parents work for SHIELD and managed to juggle having twins along with their careers,” I shrugged. “The teammates I work with, his wife is an ER doctor and they manage with their own 2 children. If you want something badly enough you’ll manage.”

Lynette looked very proud of me and my answers. She beamed at me from the head of the table. I was pretty proud of my own quick answer as well. I was getting better and better at thinking on my feet and keeping my brain to mouth filter switched on. 

“Besides,” Riley came back into earshot with 4 beers in his hand. “There’s nothing wrong with me being a stay at home dad. Not all of us live in the dark ages Aunt Emma.”

I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself laughing out loud at Riley’s comment. He really wasn’t shy about speaking his mind around his family. My beer was still warm when Riley handed it to me. I pulled a face at him and opened my mouth to call him out on it. But the look on his face stopped me. As he sat down he handed me his beer as well.

“Sorry there were only 2 cold ones,” Riley said far too innocently. “Help me out?”

Well, this would certainly be a way to get rid of his annoying relatives. I only hesitated for a second before letting ice form over both of our bottles. The effect was instant. Both of the Aunts and Uncle Scott jumped out of their chairs in surprise. 

“Here you go,” I smiled sweetly to Riley and handed him his now very cold beer. “Anyone else need something chilled?”

The three obnoxious relatives simply walked out without another word. It was only Uncle Ben left sitting there smirking at me as they stormed from the room. After a few seconds the front door slammed shut and we were left in complete silence. I cringed at the scene I’d just caused. I had possibly just ruined Thanksgiving lunch. As much as Lynette liked me, this might be the one thing that went against me.

“Sorry,” I quickly apologised to Lynette as silence stretched out in the room. “I didn’t think I’d quite get that reaction.”

It was Uncle Ben breaking into slightly hysterical laughter that broke the room. He laughed so hard he was doubled over clutching as his stomach. Everyone else soon joined in with him. Lynette included much to my relief.

“Best Thanksgiving lunch ever,” Uncle Ben raised his glass to me. “Heres to peace and quiet without those assholes ruining it for everyone.”

“Ben,” Lynette scolded gently through her laughter. “Thats your wife you’re talking about.”

“Soon to be ex wife,” Uncle Ben corrected. “As of last week actually. I didn’t want to ruin Thanksgiving so we held off telling anyone.”

Through breaking the bad news there wasn't a flicker of sadness or regret on Uncle Ben’s face. My guess was this had been a long time coming. Lynette didn’t look one bit surprised either. 

“I’d say sorry but Emma is a bitch,” Riley turned to me with a sly grin. “And I guess we can cross Aunt Tracey and Uncle Scott off the wedding list. Unless you’ve got your heart set on eloping in Vegas.”

“You weren’t meant to hear that,” I laughed as I gave Riley a gentle shove. 

“And only one of you is allowed to elope,” Lynette injected quickly. She looked between her two children with obvious amusement and love for both of them. “So fight it out between you while I go get dessert.”

“I’ll help,” Uncle Ben shot to his feet. “Lets say we break out that bottle of Chivas Regal.”

I was definitely right in the fact that I could handle anything Riley’s family threw at me. Over dessert and the bottle of scotch the mood in the house lightened as we all fell into laugher and good times. The smile couldn't be wiped off my face for anything. With Riley holding my hand under the table, I couldn’t be happier.

~ ~ ~

I sat in the attic idly flicking through an old army trunk. The weak sunlight poured through the window giving the small room a gentle glow. Outside a few inches of snow sat on the ground already melting into a slushy mess. Outside I could occasionally hear the sounds of the football game carrying up to me. It was mostly the rambunctious laughter of my cousins, Jared and Riley all down here playing in the mud. From the glances I caught out the window there was a lot of cheating going on. Not that anyone cared. They were all having the time of their lives.

Our time in Minnesota had flown by and it felt like we’d only been there a day instead of the 5 we actually were. There’d been a few tears from Lynette as we climbed onto the plane yesterday. She made us promise to come back soon, which wasn’t going to be a hard promise to keep. I was a bit teary myself leaving Riley’s happy family home. Both Jesse and Uncle Ben had stayed while we were there as well leaving the house full of laugher and a lot of fun. It turned out Jesse’s sister was Enhanced. She could levitate. My breaking of the ice, as terrible as that pun is for me, saved him a lot of worry about how to actually bring it up. On our last night there I’d had a dream that Riley and I were raising a family in a house just like that. It’d been a very strange feeling waking up to being ridiculously happy and torn about the fact I still wasn’t sure where I really stood with anything serious like that. Seeing some of my younger cousins here smacked any of those thoughts away pretty quickly. 

Despite my apprehension about my own side of the family. They had all been open and welcoming to Riley. The teasing had been kept to a minimum. Except for Dad. He seemed to be taking great pleasure in making Riley squirm with all the uncomfortable questions. Dad even went as far to try and make us sleep in separate rooms but Mom stomped on his foot and made him apologise and retract that very quickly. We had our second version of Thanksgiving the night we arrived which included everyone. Being such a large family it was basically a buffet and Jared lit a massive bonfire outside to stand around. It had been a lot of fun. No one had done anything crazy yet to really make Riley gape at the very open display of powers.

Though he did jump in fright this morning when we went down for coffee and there was 2 replicas of Dad standing in the kitchen. From the infuriating smirk on Dad’s face I knew he’d done it on purpose. Jared definitely inherited the shit stirring gene from Dad.

“What are you doing up here?” Gram’s gentle voice carried across the room. I jumped in slight guilt before glancing up from my rummaging. I hadn’t asked to come up here. I was planning on seeing what I found first and then asking permission if I could take it.

“Snooping,” I grinned sheepishly up at my Grandmother as she walked into the room. “Actually trying to find my handler a Christmas present. Apparently he’s a big Captain America fan. I thought you might have something.”

Even at the age of 82 there was no falter in Gram’s stride as she came over to me. I hoped when I reached her age I was still as fit and able as she was. It took her a little longer to get out of the chair on some winter mornings. But she never seemed to get older in my eyes. Her hair might be snowy white now instead of blonde and her face creased with a few more wrinkles than last time I saw her. But she still looked amazing. She settled down beside me, crossing her legs as she pulled a leather bound book from the trunk.

“These were the days,” Grams smiled fondly as she opened the book. A few old black and white photographs fell out as she did. She picked the first one up and stared at it for a few seconds before turning to show me.

It was a photo of Grams, Peggy Carter and the Howling Commandos standing on front of a tank. They were all laughing, completely oblivious to the photo being taken. 

“That wasn’t long after Steve went into the water,” Grams sighed quietly. “I can’t even remember what we were doing but it was something awfully silly. It was the first time I’d heard Peggy laugh since it happened.”

“She’s an amazing woman,” I stared at the dark haired woman standing next to Grams. They were both in what was considered field dress for their day. “Do you keep in touch?”

“Every week,” the smile was back on Grams face as she looked over to me. “She lives in DC. I’m sure she’d love a visit.”

“You’ll have to come with me,” I handed the photo back. “I’d be so awed I wouldn’t know what to say to her.”

I grew up on the stories of Grams time in World War 2 and then later in the SSR and SHIELD. I had a lot of respect, and no small amount of hero worship for Peggy Carter. She was an incredible woman. I always told myself when I was young that I’d grow up to be just like her. Strong and independent, never taking no for an answer. In those days Peggy Carter would have had so many doors slammed in her face for just being a woman. The fact she came on top of that as one of the founding members of SHIELD made me work just as hard to become a Raptor pilot.

“She’d like you,” Grams gave me a rather cheeky smile. “She might even teach you a trick or two to show those STRIKE boys up.”

“I have Natasha for that,” I laughed. “She does a pretty good job of showing everybody up. But it’d be nice to have my own tricks.”

“You’ll get there,” Grams cheeky smile turned into a proud one. “Never one to back down from a challenge are you?”

There was no answer for that. Grams knew me better than anyone and that wasn’t just because she could read minds. She’d been the one I’d spilt all my hopes and dreams to in that long wait to get into the Air Force. Feeling my cheeks redden I went back to going through the trunk.

I reached into it and pulled out another small book. The leather on this one was well worn and the pages crinkled from being turned a few million times. Curiously I opened it up to the first page. The drawing was incredible. It looked like a sketch of a park that could have been anywhere. But the detail made it nearly look like it was a photo. The only thing that gave it away was the obvious pencil marks.

“Steve gave that book to me,” Grams reached out for it. I handed over the treasured item carefully as I realised how important that well worn book would be. Grams took it and gently flicked through the pages. “I said the park looked like the one where I grew up. He handed me the entire book and said I could keep it so I had a reminder of home.”

“Captain Rogers sounds like an incredible person,” I peered over to see a few more of the drawings in the book. Grams was flicking too quickly for me to get a close look. But from the snatches I saw they were all just as amazing as the first one.

“He was,” Grams closed the book and ran her fingers gently over the creases in the leather. “Who’s your handler?”

“Phil Coulson,” I was surprised Grams didn’t already know that. It should have come up in conversation somewhere along the line.

“Phillip Coulson?” a mischievous smile spread over Grams face. “The history major? The one we all thought was going to be too nerdy and book smart to ever make a decent field agent. Boy didn’t he prove everyone wrong. You’re a lucky girl. He’s a fine man and an expectational agent.”

“And now I have something to tease him about,” I laughed quietly. “Thanks.”  
 Grams handed the book back to me and I reached over to put it back in the trunk. She gripped my arm gently before my hand made it halfway there. There was a slight hesitation on her face but then she relaxed.

“I think he’ll like that for a Christmas present,” Grams pressed the book back towards me. “It's no good sitting in a dusty old trunk where no one can see it.”

“Thanks Grams,” I reached over and gave her a hug. She was right, this really was going to be the perfect Christmas present for Coulson. Handing over such a treasured item would have been a hard thing to do. Words couldn’t express how amazing this gift was. 

“And are we going to get a wedding announcement for Christmas as well?” Grams teased me as she pulled back from our hug. 

“You tell me, you’re the one who can read minds,” I laughed at her teasing. Unlike other people asking, I could handle Grams doing it.

“Now Kari it’s impolite to read minds without permission,” the twinkle in Grams eye made her look years younger. “However he doesn't have yours and Jared’s ability to block me and his thoughts can be rather loud sometimes.”

I didn’t know whether to laugh or grimace at the implication behind those words. I’d reminded Riley to keep any naughty thoughts to himself while Grams was around. While she wouldn’t intentionally read someones mind without permission, sometimes people thoughts were really loud. She just couldn’t help hearing them sometimes. Jared and I learnt when we were very young that if Grams read one of our minds, she could hear both our thoughts. It made it absolute hell to get away with lying when we were kids. When we got older and could appreciate it, Grams eventually taught us how to put up mental barriers that couldn't be broken down without a great effort. That way no one else could use that against us. Grams wasn’t the only Enhanced in the world who could read minds.

“Are those thoughts too impolite to voice in public?” I decided to laugh instead of grimace. 

“Some,” Grams laughed with me. “The others are mostly on how much he loves you. That boy would move the universe for you Kari. Its hard to describe how deep his feelings really go for you, but I think you’ve found the one.”

Those words made me smile like the love sick fool I was. I still hadn’t come down from the clouds after hearing Riley tell me he loves me. I don’t think I was ever going to get sick of hearing those words come from his mouth.

“Have you talked about what might happen in your line of work?” the amusement was gone from Grams and she was suddenly serious. “It's not a nice topic to bring up, but a necessary one.”

“What do you mean?” I was confused by the sudden mood change in the air. I wasn’t completely oblivious though I like to play the dumb blonde card sometimes. I had a small inkling of what Grams was talking about. The mere thought of it made me feel uncomfortable and slightly sick. 

“What you’d do if either of you were killed at work,” Grams said gently. Yep she hit the nail right on the head with the train of thought I’d gone with. Grams was right though. That was a topic we’d need to talk about eventually. While there hadn’t been anyone I’d known KIA in my time in SHIELD, there’d been more than a few funerals for SHIELD agents. Especially in STRIKE. I think it was Echo team that lost 2 of their guys on a mission right before we’d left for Afghanistan. No doubt in our time away a lot of other things had been happening in the world. 

“We’ve been too busy being crazy in love,” I admitted with a wry smile. “But you’re right. We do need to talk about it.”

All of a sudden that dream I had the other night hit me full force. It was a strange feeling. I’d never imagined anything like it. I couldn’t imagine Riley not being in my life. It was funny that when this first started I was so worried about things not working out between us. Things had certainly made a turn for the better. We weren't perfect. We had our occasional snaps at each other. But I could see this working out. I didn’t normally dream about the typical happily ever after. But I was finding myself wanting it more and more.

“I’m always right,” and the Lyngley arrogance shone right through on Grams face right there. She used my shoulder to push herself to her feet. “Don’t do it now, enjoy yourself while on holidays. Make sure you give that to Phil and say hello to him for me.”

“I will.”

“Maybe go save your brother from the beating he’s currently getting,” Grams glanced out the window with a small laugh. 

I climbed to my feet and covered the small distance to the window. Riley and Jared were both wrestling in the mud and by the looks on their faces both laughing hysterically while doing it. Riley had Jared pinned down and was shoved a large handful of mud and slush down his shirt while everyone else looked on laughing at them. A very undignified yelp reached me even through the window as Jared teleported away, dancing on the spot trying to get the cold out of his shirt. Whatever he said to Riley just made him laugh even harder.

I just shook my head at both of them


	29. Chapter 29

I was regretting my poor decisions very heavily this morning as I stared down the archery range with Clint. My stomach churned yet again and I actually thought I might be sick for real this time. It had nothing to do with the bottle of scotch Riley and I shared last night either. Well, maybe a little bit to do with that bottle of scotch we shared. We’ve gone over the Evans place for dinner last night with most of Bravo team for Riley’s birthday. What was meant to be a quiet night quickly turned into a wild one. At least I wasn’t going to be the only one with a sore head this morning. When Riley and I had left at 0200, both Sam and Evans were sharing the toilet throwing up. Abby was no help, she was standing there taking photos of them both while laughing hysterically at the drunken antics. I didn’t throw up, but when I left home this morning Riley was still passed out in the bathroom. He’d been sick the second we walked back in the door completely cancelling out the plans I had for him for his birthday present. Bravo team obviously weren’t going to be at work today. 

We’d been back from our mini holiday for 2 weeks and there was nothing happening at work at all. Most mornings I’d just been in the train with Clint and Natasha and we’d go out afterwards. Usually to lunch, or to do Christmas shopping. Coulson still wasn’t back so I couldn’t see us getting any missions anytime soon. Clint hadn’t been kidding when he said Christmas was a big deal in their house. He was the worst culprit of them all. Laura had repeatedly told him to keep it all toned down a little bit. There was no stopping Clint though. I think Natasha was secretly encouraging this as well. 

Walking into work this morning hungover as fuck as a bad idea. Trying to gain any sympathy for Clint for said hangover was another bad idea. He went out of his way to make a lot of loud noises which only got worse when Natasha walked in looking as bad as I felt. It seems I wasn’t the only one to have a wild night. When Clint announced he and I were going to the archery range to try something new, Natasha simply walked back out of the locker room. When I tried to follow her, Clint picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. Despite my shrieks and protests that hurt my head, he carried me all the way to the archery range and none too gently threw me down next to a target. I tried to make a run for it. I only got about half a dozen steps before he caught me and dumped me back in the same spot. 

His evil plan was to shoot arrows at me. Despite his promises of he wouldn't hit me I wasn’t feeling to reassured. The second part of his evil plan was I had to freeze the arrows as they came at me. I was definitely not feeling the love coming from Clint this morning. 

“Ready?” Clint snapped me from my thoughts. He was standing about 50 yards away, arrow notched and ready to go. He drew the bowstring back and stood there waiting for my answer. 

“No!” I yelled back.

Even from the distance I could see Clint just smirk. His left hand released on the string and the arrow flew towards me.

I shrieked and ducked to the ground. A second later the arrow embedded itself in the target behind me. 

“I said no Clint!” I screeched at him way too loud for my own sore head. I grimaced and rubbed my temples before standing up. My stomach heaved and for a second I thought I was going to be sick for real. It passed in a few seconds much to my relief. I wasn’t going to give Clint the satisfaction of seeing how terrible I was really feeling. 

“Too bad, get up,” Clint called back as he lazily notched another arrow. “And I know you’re pissed at me when you call me Clint and not Hawk. If I’m really in trouble I’m expecting the entire name.”

The arrow flew at me with no warning at all. Clint was scary with how fast he could draw and shoot. This time I didn’t even have time to react. I felt it fly past my left ear, just missing me by a hair width. This was starting to take things to a new level of stupid. 

“Clinton,” I warned. “I’m way too fucking hungover for your bullshit this morning.”

“There we go, I got Clinton,” his grin was infuriating. “I know I’m doing something right to piss you off.”

This time I didn’t see him even notch the arrow. One second his hand was empty and the next another arrow flew past my right ear this time. I swear I felt the fletching just graze my ear. I snatched my hand to my ear and I wasn’t surprised to see a small smear of blood on my fingertips when I pulled away.

“You’re an asshole!” I shrieked yet again. This time out of sheer habit from childhood a ball of ice formed in my hand. I hurled it at him without a second thought. It only landed on his arm with a small thwack of it hitting the flesh. I didn’t get a flinch or even the tiniest grimace of pain coming from Clint. All he did was laugh. It just made me madder at him.

“Come on you can do better than that,” Clint taunted me through his laughter. “Show me what you’ve got.”

He notched an arrow slower than the second time. As much as I hated doing it, sheer determination kicked in and I was going to freeze that next fucking arrow. Just as Clint drew back I focused on that thin little line of carbon.

It was freezing outside with the promise of snow laying heavy in the weather. It was perfect conditions to actually play with my powers. Time felt like it slowed down as I focused everything I had in me on that arrow. Clint’s fingers slid off the bow string and the arrow flew forward. It only got a couple of feet before the ice made it too heavy to fly and it fell to the ground. I looked at it in slight amazement. I can’t believe I actually did it.

“Good,” Clint grabbed another arrow. “Think faster.”

I wasn’t ready for that next one. I was still staring at the arrow laying frozen on the ground feeling smug and proud that I’d actually done it. The next arrow flew at me and I ducked, throwing my hands up in front of me and pushing my power out. The wall of ice appeared in front of me just as the arrow reached the mark. The arrow embedded itself halfway into the few inch thick wall. It was as tall as I was and managed to cover my entire body. My breath misted in front of me as I stared at it in total shock. I wasn’t expecting to be able to make something so big in a split second like that. 

“Hey!” Clint pouted. “Cheater. Make it go away.”

“No!” I was protected behind my little wall of ice. Here Clint couldn't shoot anything else at me. Unless he knew how to shoot around corners. I don’t think even the great Hawkeye had learnt the bend the laws of physics quite yet. 

“Don’t make me come back there,” Clint threatened playfully. I stuck my head around the wall of ice and poked my tongue out at him. I quickly poked my head back around so he couldn’t shoot me. 

“I told you I’m too hungover for your shit,” I made another ball of ice in my hands and tossed it back and forth casually. “Don’t be a child just because you can't get your own way.”

“Fuck it I’m going to drag you out from behind there,” Clint was already striding over before he finished the sentence. Running really wasn’t an option because he would always catch me. So I just waited for my perfect opportunity. It only took a few moments before Clint appeared behind the wall of ice. I wound up and smacked him right in the face with the ball of ice in my hands. With a surprised yelp Clint fell to the ground and then didn’t move.

“Oh fuck,” I scrambled on the slippery ground over towards him. Panic clawed at my chest at the thought of me knocking him out. I mentally prepared myself for the long run back inside to get help. I crouched down beside him and gave him a hard shake. “Clint.”

Clint’s eyes flew open and the blank expression on his face was quickly replaced by a mischievous one. I was in so much trouble. I didn’t even fight what I knew was coming. Clint pulled me down onto the muddy ground and easily got me onto my stomach and pinned on the ground. He was straddling my back and had my shoulders pushed down.

“You’re so dead Knucklehead,” Clint’s laugh was pure evil as he shoved my face into the mud. I squirmed underneath his iron grip to no effect. I was stuck and my face was shoved into the ground getting rubbed in the mud. I coughed and spluttered as the soggy ground got in my mouth. I could feel the mud already sliding off my face. 

“Get off,” my voice was strangled with contained laughter. I spat out the mouthful of mud I’d gotten while still wriggling around underneath Clint. I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of hearing me laugh at his tormenting behaviour.

“You know if you weren’t so skinny I might find all that wiggling a turn on,” I could hear the smirk in Clint’s voice even though I couldn’t see him. “Tell your boyfriend to stop fucking all the weight off you.”

“Get off me asshole,” I snorted into the mud as a laugh nearly escaped from me. God he was such a flirt. I don't know how Laura put up with him sometimes. “You’re just jealous because I get sex 4 times a day and you don’t.”

“Wanna bet?” Clint chuckled as he twisted my right arm behind me in an instant. I was supporting most of my weight on my arms and him yanking it from underneath me sent me face first into the ground. I spluttered as I got another mouthful of mud for my sass. “Come on you can do better than that. You can actually land punches on me now.”

Clint was right. I was improving slowly with my hand to hand. I could without fail land a few hits on Clint every day. He was so proud of the first bruise I actually left on him. Most of the time I was glancing blows off Natasha because she was still too fast for me to actually land a proper hit. Natasha even promised to start showing me how to use a knife while we spar. 

I clenched my fingers around the little skin I could contact on his wrist and focused. I let the ice build up around his hand. The effect was instant. Clint yanked his grip off my arm in surprise and let out a small yelp. His weight shifted off me slightly and I used it to my advantage quickly. With all my strength I threw my shoulder up and rolled. Clint still had a loose grip on me so he was quickly thrown off my back and I landed with a thud on his front with him now lying in the mud. We both lay there panting for a few seconds.

“Nice move,” Clint smacked my thigh hard. “I knew you had it in you. Come on, lets go a few more times.”

I groaned in disgust but got up anyway. There was no getting out of this. As I climbed to my feet I made sure I landed my elbow good and proper into his stomach. His hard abs felt like they’d leave a bruise on my arm. The grunt of pain I got was worth the small amount of pain I put myself through. I loved hearing Clint actually get hurt from something I did to him. It wasn’t often I could make it happen. 

“By the way, we’re going Christmas light shopping after work and Laura insisted you and Riley need to come over for dinner,” Clint got to his own feet after I was done clambering all over him. “But I swear to god if you encourage Lila to play anything from the Nutcracker she’s going to live with you. If I hear the Sugar Plum Fairy one more time I’m going to go crazy.”

“She can live with me any day,” I chuckled briefly. “It might be an interesting story to tell Riley where she came from though.”

I’d kept Lila and Cooper a pretty good secret from Riley all this time. I thought he might have heard my comment at Thanksgiving but he never said anything about it. Clint didn’t tell anyone at work he was married. Let alone had 2 children.

“You’re so blonde sometimes,” Clint rolled his eyes at me. “Riley knows about them. He walked in while I was Skyping with them in Bagram. He's sworn to secrecy but I think I’m pretty safe that you guys aren't splitting up anytime soon.”

“I hope not,” I really was oblivious to so many things. While I might consider myself intelligent I really lacked the ability to see what was going on in the world around me. I was definitely never going to be a super spy like Natasha or Jared. Thankfully I could shoot well and fly really fast to make up for that. 

“Trust me, he’s not going anywhere,” Clint chuckled. “You two are so sickeningly in love it makes me want to spew.”

The second Clint said the word spew, my stomach rebelled in a big way. I didn’t even have time to turn away it happened so quickly. All the scotch and dinner from last night made an appearance. All over Clint’s boots. 

My explosive vomit ended as quickly as it came. I stood there horrified and slightly embarrassed at what I’d just done. I couldn’t take my eyes off the mess I’d just made all over the ground and over his boots. It was lucky Clint actually wore his combat boots nearly everywhere except when he worked out. Otherwise it’d be one smelly mess to try and get out of his Nike sneakers. 

“Aren’t you lucky you didn’t do that to Natasha,” Clint barely looked perturbed as he kicked the worst of it off. “She's a sympathetic vomiter. It still doesn’t get you out of another few rounds of training, or Christmas light shopping.”

Of course it didn’t. I sighed in defeat and looked over to my wall of ice. I focused on it and poured my power into it. After a second the wall shattered into thousands of pieces, littering the ground in little shards of ice. Clint strode back to his position and picked his bow up again. This time I was ready for the arrow. 

Clint notched and fired with his usual amazing speed. With all my concentration the arrow iced over and then shattered a few feet in front of me. Instead of celebrating my small victory I quickly focused back on Clint who had just fired another arrow. I let a small smile creep onto my face as I shattered that one with my powers closer than the last. I wasn’t ever going to admit it but this was a little bit fun. 

 

After tormenting me for another hour on the range, then dragging me all over what I swear was every single shop in DC we were finally done for the day. Clint promised me a lift to work in the morning so I didn’t have to drag my Kawasaki all over town with him. It was well after lunchtime when Riley finally sent me a text letting me know he was still in the land of the living. He didn’t complain about dinner plans and promised to meet me there and at least look presentable. Like me, Riley had just learnt to roll with whatever Clint had in mind. 

Walking in the door to Clint’s home with arms full of more Christmas lights earned me a withering look from Laura. I managed to ignore it by letting Lucy and Lucky jump all over me, barking excitedly. I had to stop and give them both a pat before they’d leave me alone enough to actually speak to Laura. 

“Your oldest child was left without supervision,” I supplied with a shrug as I dumped the shopping contents on the kitchen table. “Not my fault he swiped your credit card after you told him no more Christmas decorations.”

Laura looked torn between laughing and being pretty angry about it. Clint walked in behind me and shot his wife a very charming smile as he held a smaller bag up. The little white bag had a Pandora label on it.

“I couldn’t wait until Christmas day to show you it,” Clint’s smile made me melt with how fucking charming he could really be. I knew what was in the bag and Clint’s excitement was a little contagious. “So this is part of your present.”

Any traces of annoyance was quickly gone from Laura’s face as she took the bag. She was fighting very hard to keep the smile off her lips as she opened it and took out the box that was in the bag. As soon as she flipped it open, she let out a surprised shriek and threw herself onto Clint. 

“Oh Clint,” Laura was laughing as she hugged Clint hard. “You shit. Stop spoiling me. How did you find it?”

The Pandora charm Clint had gotten Laura was meant to have been sold out for months. It was only pure chance that I noticed it sitting behind the counter while I was browsing the jewellery store while Clint was paying for something. I couldn’t believe it myself when I saw it shoved at the back of the display cabinet. The special edition diamond charm’s price made me choke. But apparently Laura loved them. She wore an ankle bracelet so she could always have it on. Even at work. Neither of them wore wedding rings so Clint joked this was his version of her wedding ring. She’d been trying to track this certain one down but with no luck at all.

“Kari did actually,” Clint hugged his wife hard. “So you have her to thank. I just paid for it.”

“Thank you!” Laura quickly let go of Clint and latched onto me instead. I hugged her back just as hard as she was clinging to me. “Thank you so much. Good god woman, you’re actually starting to get some muscle. When is Riley going to be over?”

“As soon as he can function properly,” I chuckled as we both pulled away from each other. “He got a bit too drunk last night and spent most of it throwing up.”

“Just Riley?” Clint teased me. “You might look a bit more normal now but I distinctly remember someone throwing up on my boots during training this morning.”

“You deserved it,” I bit back. “Firing arrows at me and making me freeze them. How did you even come up with that?”

“Under my good looks and perfect charm, I do happen to have a brain which I can actually use to think occasionally,” Clint smirked at me. If he wasn’t standing a few paces away I would have smacked him one for his cocky attitude. 

“Only very occasionally,” Laura was quick to deflate his ego. She reached up and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Doesn’t mean I love you any less.”

I smiled watching the 2 interact. If Riley and I got married and made it to 7 years into our relationship, I hoped we were just as happy as Clint and Laura. Despite the crazy lives they both lead, they always seemed to have a perfect happy balance with everything. I’m sure they had their snaps and arguments like everyone else. But I’d never seen, or heard about any arguments. 

“I’m cooking spaghetti bolognese from scratch for dinner,” Laura was still beaming as she pulled away from Clint. “Tell that gorgeous boy of yours to get his ass over here Kari.”

With that she bounced away with a definite spring in her step. I glanced over to Clint who was looking so proud of himself as he watched her retreating figure.

“I’m so getting whatever I want for the next month,” Clint smirked as he caught me looking at him. “Maybe even 2 months after I give her the rest of the Christmas present as well.”

“I don’t need to picture anything to do with your sex life thank you,” I said dryly. “Where are the kids?”

“At a birthday party,” Clint checked his watch quickly. “Actually due to be picked up. Do you want to come with me?”

A knock on the door interrupted anything I was going to say. The only person who would be knocking would be Riley. I bolted for the door, just as the dogs ran through the hallway barking. I laughed at them skidding on the floorboards. It was the first time I’d actually heard or seen them get to the door before anyone else. Flinging the door open I launched myself into Riley for a hug. It’d been a long day and I’d missed him.

‘Hi,” Riley laughed as I nearly sent him toppling backwards. He staggered to keep his footing. “Miss me?”

“Clint was a shit all day,” I hugged him hard. “But I threw up on his boots and got him back for being an ass. How are you feeling?”

“Better than I did this morning,” Riley still didn’t look very well. “Seeing you makes everything better though.”

He brushed his lips against my cheek, making me smile 

“Stomp humping on my porch,” Clint yelled from inside the house, making both of us jump apart. “Go get my kids.”

In other words Clint and Laura wanted half an hour to themselves. I wasn’t even game enough to walk back into the house. At the sound of Clint’s voice the dogs ran back inside, Lucy doing most of the barking this time. 

“Text me the address,” I called back. I gave Riley a gentle shove towards his car. It was parked behind Laura’s SUV. “Trust me, we do not need to be in there right now.”

“I feel like I’ve passed this massive test,” Riley said with a small smile as we both got into his car. “I’ve been invited here for dinner, not just crashing here because of tequila night. I’m finally meeting Clint’s kids which no one has any idea exists.”

“You can finally talk to Hawk without feeling like you’re going to swoon,” I teased Riley. He was so unimpressed Lynette had told me that. I’d spared him any embarrassment by never mentioning it to Clint. But I couldn’t help myself by having a small dig at him about it every so often. A text came through on my phone of the address of where we had to pick Lila and Cooper up from.

“That I can,” Riley chuckled as he started his BMW up. “You have no idea how honoured I feel to be trusted with this.”

I put the address into the GPS while Riley backed onto the street. I waited until we were going to ask the question that had been bugging me for ages. It wasn’t something I could ask Clint straight out. 

“I don’t understand why Clint hides his family,” I started carefully. Riley looked over to me in surprise but didn't say anything. It gave me the courage to keep going with my line of questioning. “If we had kids would you do the same?”

“No I wouldn’t,” Riley shook his head. “But look at it from this point of view. Barton has done a lot of undercover work. I don’t know about his time before SHIELD but I’m sure it wasn’t very nice from the rumours I’ve heard. He has a lot of people in the world pissed at him. Bad guys don’t play by the rules. What if one of them found out about his family and used it as leverage?”

Just the thought of that made my blood run cold. The mental image of someone using the kids and Laura against him made me shudder. I’d never considered that even in my wildest dreams. I couldn’t imagine someone so bad that they would use Clint’s family against him. But then again he rarely spoke of his past. I had no idea beyond what was in his file what skeletons were actually lurking there.

“I never thought about that,” I admitted quietly. “This all still blows my mind occasionally.”

“The world is a lot crazier than whats on the surface,” Riley shot me a small smile. “And maybe we’re a bit crazy for being in SHIELD. But who knows whats around the corner? For all we could know aliens could drop from the sky at any second. Seeing some of that shit about Hydra at your Grandparents gave me a shudder too. Definitely not someone I’d like to be fighting.”

“Me either,” I’d heard plenty of those stories growing up. “Then again Jared pointed out back in Afghanistan nothing in our lives has ever been normal. And here I am dragging you into an even crazier world.”

“Yeah because I’m definitely being dragged kicking and screaming,” Riley joked. He reached over and took my hand giving it a squeeze. “Though I do have to admit I kind of like the way you asked about us having kids.”

I squeezed Riley’s hand back giving him a small smile.

“Easy there tiger,” I chuckled briefly. “It was just the line of thought because of Lila and Cooper.”

“No, I know,” Riley looked a little embarrassed as he quickly answered me. “I just like the thought of it thats all.”

My mind wandered back to that time we had a massive conversation in the car as well. I hadn’t thought about anything that Riley told me until now. The thought of us having a life together, getting married and having kids. It all hit me very suddenly. For once I was actually excited about the future. Not terrified of what might come of it. I still pinched myself some days to see if this was all real or not. I couldn’t remember a time that I was ever this happy with my life. Deep down there was a small part of me that was really liking the idea of getting married and having a family. What might have been a fleeting whisper was now starting to be heard a little louder. I don’t think I could ever do any better than Riley. He was just perfect in my eyes. 

“Am I pushing you too fast?” Riley glanced over at me suddenly looking worried. I mentally smacked myself and came back into this conversation. My silence could have easily been taken for something else besides me just thinking. 

“No, god no,” I quickly reassured him with a smile. “Nothing like that at all. Stop looking so worried.”

“Just checking,” Riley’s chuckle had a tinge of nerves spread through it. “I don’t want to fuck things up and scare you off just when I feel like my life is falling into place.”

“I was actually just thinking of how well everything is falling into place,” I said smiling at him. “I’d never really given much thought to what we talked about. But I think I’m kind of liking the idea.”

“Really?” Riley’s eyebrows shot up nearly into his hairline as he glanced over towards me. I could feel the car jerk sideways in his surprise. He quickly corrected the car, but he was still gaping at me slightly.

“Eyes front,” I laughed at his shocked expression. “Yes really. Just lets get through Christmas first before we go crazy and run to Vegas or something really insane.”

“Sorry you miss out of Vegas,” Riley relaxed and his face broke into a broad grin. “You got stuck with the guy who has it all planned out already.”

“I’m happy I’m stuck with the guy who has it all planned out,” I reached over and gave Riley a kiss on the cheek. “Besides, I finally found you a Christmas present so you aren’t allowed to go anywhere.”

I’d finally found Riley’s present today. It’d taken me forever to actually come up with something. It was really hard to buy something for someone who had everything he wanted. If he wanted something, he simply brought it for himself. This had been the only thing I actually hadn’t seen him buy just yet.

“I told you not to buy me anything,” Riley tried to scold me. But I could see the smile playing across his face. 

The GPS told us we were at our destination before I could reply to Riley. The house we pulled up at was in a really nice neighbourhood. There were a lot of cars parked out the front and balloons strewn everywhere. The big ‘Happy Birthday’ sign was definitely not hard to miss plastered at the front of the large porch at the front of the house. 

“I’m guessing Barton’s kids go to a fancy school,” Riley expression of surprise mirrored my own as we both stared at the house. “Do you want me to come in?”

“Sure,” I wasn’t looking forward to walking into a backyard with people I didn't know and a lot of screaming kids. I just hoped Clint let whoever was hosting this party know that we were coming. 

Getting out of the car and walking towards the increasing noise, I didn’t have to worry about trying to find Lila. She spied me as soon as I stepped foot in the backyard. With a squeal that could easily be heard over the general noise she ran towards me. 

“Kari!” she definitely made herself heard. It didn’t take long for her little legs to make it either. I scooped her up and twirled her around.

“Hey my favourite Disney princess,” I hugged Lila tightly as she clung onto my neck. Her high pitched laughter was contagious as we spun around together. “Ready to go home?”

“Yep,” Lila nodded vigorously. She hugged me again wrapping his legs around me as well. “Is that Riley?” 

“Hi, yeah I’m Kari’s boyfriend, Riley,” Riley was at my side grinning at me. “And you must be Lila.”  
 Before Lila could respond, another voice called her name. A women dressed immaculately with not a dyed blonde hair out of place came running over. 

“Hi,” the woman rushed out. “I’m Kim, you must be Kari. Laura sent me a message and told me you were picking the kids up.”

“And that’s Riley,” Lila raised her head which had been resting on my shoulder. “He’s Kari’s boyfriend. Dad likes him because he can shoot the wings off a fly with the fucking big CheyTac.”

I closed my eyes and bit my lip really hard to stop myself bursting out laughing at Lila’s very honest statement. I didn’t doubt those were Clint’s exact words too. Beside me Riley sounded like he was being strangled from trying to hold his own laughter in.

“That’s not a nice word to use Lila. You owe a dollar in the swear jar,” I finally managed to choke out as I opened my eyes. In front of me Kim was standing there with her hand covering her own mouth. Her shoulders shook in silent laughter as she looked between Riley and I.

“So nice to meet some of Clint’s workmates,” Kim uncovered her mouth and forced herself to sound normal. “I’ll go get Cooper.”

“COOPER!” Lila yelled. I cringed as she was right near my ear. “We’re going!”

As much as Lila looked like her mother, she definitely got her attitude from Clint. I pitied both her parents when she hit her teenage years. I could see her being a definite handful. At least her yelling was a pretty quick effect. Cooper appeared in a few short seconds, running towards us just like Lila had done. He didn’t miss me either. He slammed into me with enough force to stagger me backwards a step, wrapping his arms around my waist. I hugged him as best as I could with Lila still wrapped around me.

“Hey dude,” I ruffled his hair. “Ready to go home? This is Riley.”

“Hi Riley,” Cooper let go of me and turned to face Riley. He hesitated only for a few seconds before grabbing Riley and hugging him as well.

“Aunty Nat said if I ask you really nicely you’ll take me to the range and show me how a sniper rifle works,” Cooper looked very hopeful and a little sly as he glanced up at Riley. 

“Say goodbye to Kim,” I quickly cut in before Cooper could ask anything else. I could tell by the look on Riley’s face he was about to have a very hard time saying no to the dark haired boy grinning up at him. “And everyone else.”

Both of the children did as they were told and said their hurried goodbyes. Kim had gone and gotten cake for us to take home, along with the kids party bags filled with way too much sugar and lollies. If we weren't staying for dinner I would have let both of them eat their way through it all and leave Clint to deal with their sugar highs as revenge for today. Lila and I finished our pieces of cake before we made it to the car. Cooper was too busy talking Riley’s ear off to notice that we stole half of his as well.

As soon as both of them were in the backseat of the car and settled, Lila was fast asleep. Not even the chocolate cake we’d just scoffed down was enough to keep her little eyelids open . Cooper hadn’t stopped the questions firing off to Riley. It was all about his time in the Navy as a SEAL. Cooper seemed absolutely fascinated about it. I didn’t get a word in the entire way home. I didn’t mind though. Riley seemed to be just as happy to entertain Cooper’s questions as Cooper was throwing them at him. By the time we’d pulled into the driveway of Clint’s house, I’m sure Cooper now had his heart set on being a SEAL. Here’s hoping Clint wasn’t planning on Cooper following in his footsteps and become a SHIELD agent. Natasha’s Corvette was here, along with Lola much to my surprise. Last we’d heard from Coulson he wasn’t going to be back for another week yet. Things in Afghanistan had kept him well and truly tied up a lot longer than anticipated. It a good surprise to have him back unexpectedly. I really hoped tonight didn’t turn into something wild. My body couldn’t handle anymore alcohol, even if I was starting to feel pretty normal by now. 

By the time Riley had pulled up, Cooper was already out of the car running inside calling for Uncle Coulson. I looked over to Riley with a small grin.

“I guess Uncle Coulson is way cooler than Uncle Riley,” I teased him. 

“I can live with that,” Riley chuckled. “Do you want to get Lila out?”

Despite the noise Cooper had made the entire way home, Lila had stayed fast asleep. Even now she was slumped against her seatbelt looking like nothing would disturb her. Riley was giving me a hopeful look that I’d turn down that offer. 

“You can take her if you want,” I wasn’t going to disappoint him. I’d seen snatches of it back at my Grandparents about how much Riley loved kids. All my relatives had figured it out pretty quickly so had no problems handing any of my younger relatives over to him. Even last night he’d barely put Alexi down except when it was time for her to go to bed. Even I had to admit it was a very adorable side to him. 

Riley just grinned at me as he bounced out of the car. Lila only stirred briefly as Riley lifted her out of the car. She wrapped her arms around his neck and fell asleep right on his shoulder. Even I couldn’t help myself but to grin at the very cute site of him carrying Lila. It wasn’t until we made our way into the house she actually stirred. She was awake, but still in the process of waking up, blinking sleepily in the afternoon light. At the sound of the front door opening, Laura and Natasha’s heads poked around from the kitchen. Laura was definitely looked a lot more dishevelled than when we left her. 

“Great,” Laura had a small grumble in her voice while she looked at Lila. “She’ll be up all night now. You’re on Disney movie duties Riley.”

“Sounds like fun to me,” Riley hiked Lila up on his hip a little higher. She giggled at the motion, wrapping her arms around his neck. “What do you want to watch?”

“The Lion King,” Lila informed him. “And you have to sing with me.”

“Done,” Riley strode off into the lounge room without any hesitation or complaint. Sucker. Now Lila wouldn’t leave him alone ever again. Lila would have him wrapped around her little finger within minutes. My eyes weren’t the only ones following his nicely formed ass as he left the room. As soon as Riley was out of earshot Natasha turned to me.

“Your boyfriend makes my ovaries hurt.”

I burst out laughing at Natasha’s honest statement. She wasn’t wrong there at all. 

~ ~ ~

 

Another thing I learnt over the next 2 weeks was that SHIELD knew how to throw a Christmas party. For some reason, SHIELD also seemed to like to throw multiple parties. There was the enormous general one for the entire workforce in the Triskelion. The free wine, beer and food had been a complete gorge but I managed to not get trashed like a lot of people. The Enforcement division had their own Christmas party as well. For some reason that one had an entirely open bar. I wasn’t going to drink a lot but Natasha persuaded me to have Long Island ice tea with her. Natasha and I had ended up holding each others hair while we threw up at Clint’s place. It’d been a big surprise to see Coulson get wasted as well and end up passed out on Clint’s lounge. It was an entirely new side of Coulson I’d never seen before. STRIKE had their own party, along with the individual teams seeming to be doing something as well. I’d never drunk so much in my life. Our training schedules had all slowed right down as well as we all over indulged for the festive season far too much. The only thing missing was Jared, who’d been sent on a mission somewhere in Asia for an undetermined amount of time. He’d managed to be there for 2 hours for the Enforcement Christmas party but otherwise he wasn’t to be seen at all. He promised to try and make it to Christmas day but had no promises it’d happen.

Christmas morning saw us sitting in Clint’s lounge room surrounded by piles and piles of presents. Riley, Natasha and I had all stayed the night. In hindsight it probably wasn’t a great idea. Lila had come into Riley and I at 3am asking if Santa had been yet. Then she decided to curl up in bed with us while she waited for Santa. It’d taken a lot of persuading and blackmail to get her back to sleep. Not that it lasted long. She was up and bouncing at 5am anyway. We’d all been reluctantly dragged out of bed and gotten the Santa presents out of the way until Coulson got here at 7am. 

Cooper was in charge of distributing the presents to everyone. Lila was being unhelpful with trying to star unwrapped presents. Whether they were her own or not. It was crazy and noisy but I felt more at home right now than I’d ever done before. I was sitting between Riley’s legs on the floor, he had his arms casually draped around my shoulders keeping me pulled in close to him. Our pile of presents was growing on the floor in front of us.

“Are you sure this is all for us?” I asked Cooper as he put yet another box down in front of me. It seemed the mountain of presents underneath the tree never seemed to shrink. 

“This is all Clint’s fault,” Natasha chipped in. She was lounging in one of the single chairs with a ridiculously massive coffee cup. I’d never seen it before and I was fairly envious of it. I don’t think I’d had enough coffee to properly wake up yet. 

“No, it’s not,” Clint started to argue.

“Yes it is,” Coulson cut him off with a small chuckle. “I remember your first Christmas when you were still living with me.”

For the first time I’d known him, Clint actually blushed. It wasn’t much except for his ears going red but he genuinely looked embarrassed for what Coulson was about to tell. The look of utter defeat and resignation on his face was hilarious. This was going to be good.

“I’d been gone for 36 hours,” Coulson started as he lent back smirking at Clint. “With the express instruction to put up a small Christmas tree and not to go overboard with anything. I come back to my apartment and find the entire thing decorated in tinsel and a Christmas tree so big we couldn’t get it back out the door and ended up throwing it out the window onto the street.”

I tried really hard to stop myself laughing obnoxiously, but I couldn’t help it. Considering how nuts Clint went with Christmas decorations at his own place I could only imagine a 17 year old Barton left alone. At least Laura tried to keep him a little in check these days. 

“And he gave me about 30 different presents,” although Coulson was still teasing him there was a very fond look on his face. “He just can’t settle on one thing. He has to buy lots of little things instead. Hence why there’s about 50 presents under the tree for everyone.”

“Who wants to open presents?” Clint quickly jumped to his feet. He reached down and scooped up a few that were at his feet. “I say we all go nuts.”

Lila and Cooper didn’t need to be told twice. Both of them started to rip into the wrapping of their own piles. Us adults started a little more sedately. Not too much though.

I eagerly ripped into my first few presents. Season pass for Capitols games from Laura and Clint made me jump up from Riley and shriek in excitement. I was ordered to sit back down and save the hugs for later until all the presents were open. Natasha got me a set of gorgeous sapphire and silver drop earrings. A limited edition Mulan DVD from Cooper and Lila. A gorgeous switchblade stiletto from Clint and Natasha which I was handling with uttermost care. The thin knife was gorgeous. The black handle had midnight blue vine etchings on it making it look like calligraphy. I touched the button to make the blade flick out of the handle, admiring the shine of the blade.

“Kari?” Coulson’s voice made me look up from admiring my new toy. He was holding the well worn leather cover of the book Grams had given me. “Whats this?”

“Just something I dug up from some of Gram’s old things,” I tried to keep the excitement out of my voice as I spoke. “I thought you might like it.”

“Is this?” Coulson’s hands were actually shaking as he flipped through the first few pages.

“Steve Rogers personal sketching book? Signed and dated?” I asked innocently. The room had gone silent as everyone looked at Coulson who was currently looking from the pages of the book and up to me. Repeatedly. 

“This belongs in a museum,” Coulson’s voice was mixed with awe and amazement. “This is….”

“One of the few times I’ve ever seen you speechless Phil?” it was Clint’s turn to tease our handler. 

Coulson clutched the book to his chest like a lovesick teenager holding a binder with their crushes name on it. It took him about 20 seconds before his mouth stopped opening and closing like a fish out of water. Instead of words, Coulson got out of the chair and much to my surprise came over and hugged me. Hard. Clinging onto me and not letting me go until it got beyond awkward.

“Does this give me brownie points?” I asked as Coulson finally let me go.

Any reply from Coulson was cut off by Jared’s very sudden appearance in the lounge room. His arms full of presents and a huge grin on his face.

“I didn’t miss anything did I?”

By the end of the day I was all gifted out. Coulson hadn't been wrong on all the gifts that Clint liked to get. It ranged from everything to small personal pieces like a shot glass from the gift store in Bagram to the amazing braided leather bracelet that Clint had made himself. Natasha had a silver arrow necklace she always wore than Clint had gotten her years before. So he thought he’d get me something small and memorable as well. 

Riley had been just as speechless as Coulson when I gave him the watch I’d gotten for him. While I couldn’t replace the sporty Tag Heuer watch he had before. The Victorniox Maverick watch certainly came close. Natasha hadn’t taken off her pair of Jimmy Choo’s that I’d found all those weeks ago. They looked ridiculous with her casual jeans but I didn’t blame her for not wanting to take them off. Cooper had gotten every piece of Star Wars lego that Riley and I could find in every shop. Lila had been the tricky one but I finally got something made for her. It was a necklace with her name on it, done in the Disney script. Clint had gotten his DVD box collection of John Wayne cowboy movies. There was nearly a small argument about him putting one on right now but in the end Laura had put her foot down over it and Clint didn’t argue. I had a feeling that Clint would be enjoying those DVD’s while Laura indulged in the luxury organic spa package I’d gotten her. Jared got his usual gift card to the Apple store that he wanted every single birthday and Christmas. At least he was easy.

We had eaten far too much food and indulged in a day of doing nothing but enjoying each others company. Riley and I were sitting out on the back porch steps watching the sun set on the horizon. It’d been a perfect day.

“I wanted to give this to you alone,” Riley broke the comfortable silence that had engulfed us for the last few minutes. I turned to look at him questionably. He’d already gotten me a day at the spa with Laura. Sneaky shit he was organising that with Clint. Even though we’d both said no presents we both broke that rule pretty easily. Riley reached into his jacket and pulled out a thinly wrapped package. I smiled as I took it off him, not wanting to argue about him not meant to be getting me anything. I ripped into the shiny packing and pulled out a jewellery box. My heart stopped for a second and then I mentally smacked myself for my own stupidity. It was far too big for a ring box. I opened it up to find a simple silver necklace in it. On it was a brass disc. Nothing fancy at all. It just looked like a perfect circle of brass charm. 

“What is it?” I picked up the delicate chain and looked at the charm, gently fingering it.

“That is,” Riley reached over and took it out of my hands. He moved behind me and put the chain around my neck. “The bottom of a .338 Lapua Magnum bullet from your AWSM. More importantly, it was one of the bullet you were shooting when you beat me in that shooting contest.”

I was blown away by such a simple gesture. Riley fastened the chain and it dropped on my skin, the metal heating up instantly. It was perfect. Nothing flashy or ostentatious. Just a simple little gift that was just me. 

“Its perfect. Thank you,” the smile I couldn’t wipe off my face. I craned my neck around so I could give Riley a kiss. Our lips brushed together in a small chaste kiss.

“So is my watch,” Riley pulled away, glancing down to his wrist with his own smile. “And so are you. 

I had nothing to say to that. I just reached over and kissed him again. Perfect didn’t quite describe today. Right now, in this moment. Life was perfect. Nothing could change that.


	30. Chapter 30

After all the parties and not actually doing much work at all, it was a big struggle for me to get back into a routine after the New Year rolled around. Riley got called away for his first extended mission away from home on New Years Day. It'd been 2 weeks and I still wasn't used to coming home to an empty apartment. I'd spent a lot of time avoiding the empty apartment by hanging at Clint's and the occasional sleep over at Natasha's. Laura had ended up doing some completely insane hours at work due to a staff shortage. Having all of us home made it easier to run the kids around to their respective activities. Jared came and went, as he usually did. Unlike us he was getting more than his fair share of missions.

Clint had rode my ass hard about not only practicing my powers, but pushing my limits of it too. It wasn't just my ice powers he was pushing, he kept making me go invisible for longer and longer periods of time. As much as I hated to admit it. He was very right about using them getting stronger with use. I could summon what he'd dubbed my ice shield with barely any concentration now. My reflexes were getting quicker too. Natasha and Clint had both finally given me some throwing knives to practice with. I loved using them neatly as much as my AWSM. Much to Natasha's disgust I had perfectly good aim with them as well. After an angry foot stomp and a demand on wanting to know how I did it. I was forced to explain the maths that went on in my head while calculating a good shot. Natasha just looked at me like I'd grown another head while I tried to break it down. I gave up in the end and just smugly informed her it was about time I was better than her at something. She paid me back by throwing a knife into my boot just barely missing my toes. Lesson 397, don't torment Natasha. Ever.

It was a normal Wednesday morning. Until Coulson came and pulled all 3 of us out of the gym explaining we had something. It was local, only a 30 minute drive from the Triskelion so there was no need for a Quinjet. Instead we slogged through the shitty morning DC traffic until we got to one of the shadier sides of town. Or so Clint told me this wasn't a great area. We were armed to the teeth and all ready to go as we got out of the car eagerly.

The building was a pretty standard brick apartment building surrounded by much of the same. A small deli lay across the street. But other than that there wasn't anything to make the area stand out. The entire area was quiet as the other buildings had already been evacuated. The road blocks stretched back far enough there wouldn't be any nosy onlookers to see what was going on.

"What's the situation?" Coulson asked striding onto the scene.

The entire building was surrounded by a SWAT team. The moment the person who was holding hostages revealed themselves to have some sort of powers, SHIELD was called in. Clint, Natasha and I all started to suit up without waiting for anything from Coulson. Standard body armour, our favourite side arms and Clint snapped his retractable bow out. My sniper rifle was sitting in its case just begging to be used. I kept glancing to it while I zipped myself into the kevlar we'd been ordered to wear for this mission. I was nervous and excited at the same time. This was my first time dealing with a hostage situation, let alone one with a Gifted. I thought I'd be sitting this one out, but the second Coulson knew we were dealing with someone with powers I got to tag along as well.

"Male, early 30's," one of the SWAT guys strode forward and handed Coulson a tablet with some blurry images on it. "Seems to have some sort of energy weapon like we haven't ever seen before. No ID on him yet."

"What's his terms?" Clint spoke up as he slid his arm guards on.

"None that we know of," the SWAT guy shook his head. "So far he's taken 10 hostages and kept screaming for us to back off before he starts taking heads off. He's on the 5th floor, no clear view of him or the hostages."

"Great," Coulson tapped his fingers impatiently against the tablet before pulling out his radio. "I need a STRIKE team here now. Road blocks for 3 blocks at least. Keep it quiet, we don't need this one spooked."

Coulson didn't wait to hear a reply from the radio. I fitted my own earpiece into my ear and looked at Coulson expectedly for what to do next. He grabbed a megaphone from one of the SWAT guys and stood forward.

"I'm Agent Coulson from SHIELD," Coulson's voice rang out across the road. "To whom am I speaking with?"

There was tense silence for a good minute before a flutter of movement appeared in the 3rd window from the left on the 5th floor.

"What does SHIELD want?" a deep grumbling voice yelled back.

"To talk," Coulson replied carefully. "We know you have hostages up there. We just want to settle this peacefully."

There wasn't any answer. A brief red glow appeared from behind the curtain. I'd seen kinetic energy blasts before and that red glow was a dead giveaway we were all about to be singed to a crisp.

"GET DOWN!" I yelled a second before the energy blast came straight for us. Without thinking I threw my hands out and pushed a wall of ice up around all of us. I squeezed my eyes shut, preparing for the sizzling pain of being hit with an energy blast if I was that second too late. There was no sound except for everyone's heavy breathing. I cracked one eye open and looked around us. Everyone was staring at the wall of ice in front of them with mixed emotions. Some were horrified, others amazed. I had never done an ice shield so big before. It stretched out a good 10 feet to either side of me. It was nearly a foot thick. The energy blast melted a hole nearly right through it, but had only stopped a hair width from shattering it completely.

I stared at the wall in front of me for a very long few moments. Dammit now Clint was going to be so fucking smug about riding my ass to practice that. Fuck that had been close. I pushed my power into the wall and let the ice shattered into a thousand tiny pieces at our feet.

"Good job," Clint clapped my shoulder briefly. I let out a shaky breath with a small shake of my head. I was so impressed with myself. And suddenly very thankful for Clint pushing me over the last few weeks. Coulson just looked back at my with a tight smile, even he looked shaken. Most of the SWAT and Police couldn't stop staring at me. Natasha had disappeared in the brief distraction, more than likely to scope out the building for an entrance that couldn't be seen. She was good like that.

"So who's the mutant girl?" the deep voice rang out from the window again. "You know what, I'll talk to her and no one else."

Mutant. I hated that word so much. I wasn't even fond of SHIELD referring to anyone with powers as an Enhanced. Gifted was such a nicer word for powers that some of us didn't want in the first place.

I glanced at Coulson who gave me a brief nod. My previous excitement now melted into full blown nerves. Right this wasn't my area of training. Everything Clint had ever told me went straight out of my head. Here's hoping I didn't make this situation so much worse than it already was. Sucking in a deep breath I took the megaphone off Coulson and strode forward a few steps.

"My name is Kari," I made sure my voice was firm and strong despite my nerves. "That's an impressive kinetic blast you can do there."

"And that's a very impressive display of cyrokinesis Agent Kari," the man called back not sounding impressed at all. "It's a shame seeing a talented Enhanced being wasted in SHIELD."

"A girl has to eat and fuel her shoe obsession somehow," I said back trying to inject some humour into the situation. Though his terminology surprised me slightly. That wasn't a word a simple street thug would be casually throwing around. There might be a bigger play at hand here. I just need to stall for time. Natasha would find us a way in, and with a STRIKE team on the way it was just a matter of time before this could be over.

"How about you come up here and we can talk in private?" there was no question in the man's voice, it was an order. "No weapons on you, and all your thugs can back down. Otherwise I might start getting twitchy and people will find themselves with a very big hole in their chest."

I looked back to Coulson who was giving me a hard look. He wasn't shaking his head though. Clint had an arrow notched on his bow and was running his gaze over the building.

"Offer him a trade," Coulson said quietly with his mouth turned away from view of the window. "I'm not very comfortable with sending you up there Kari. But if…"

"If it gets the job done its fine," I assured Coulson quickly. "I'll keep a comms line open."

At least I sounded confident. I wasn't feeling terribly confident right now.

"Do it."

"So I didn't get a name before?" I turned my attention back to the Enhanced. "I'd like to know the name of the person I'm talking to before I get all close and personal."

There was another long pause before he spoke again.

"Craig."

"Alright Craig, I'm going to take off my weapons," I said calmly.

"And kevlar," Craig cut in shortly. "You come with nothing but your clothes."

"That's fine," I felt my nerves really start to kick in now. "But how about we do a small trade first? One of the people you have for me. I think that's only fair."

Another long pause. I caught a brief flash of red hair on the side of the building but kept my eyes trained to the window. It seemed like an eternity before the front door of the building opened and a tearful woman was being shoved along by a man behind her. I got my first real look at Craig. He was tall, at least 6'3 with massive arms that would snap me in half. He was bald and unshaved, he looked like he'd been living in the gutter for months on end. His clothes were tattered and torn in various places. One of his boots had the sole falling off. But he possessed a manic gleam in his eyes. He didn't need a weapon trained on the woman's head, the light glow of a barely contained energy blast from his hand was enough to keep her terrified.

"Unarm yourself then walk to me," Craig commanded. "And I'll let her go once I have you."

I handed the megaphone back to Coulson and quickly strode back to the van. I took a few deep breaths as I began to strip my kevlar off and rid myself of my weapons. Clint was right beside me talking quietly in Russian while helping me strip off.

"STRIKE's ETA is 2 minutes, we put them on a separate channel so you wouldn't get the chatter," Clint explained to me quickly. "Do you remember what to do?"

This had been a lesson on those long flights in Afghanistan. One that I'd actually found a lot of fun to discuss with Clint. It was my second favourite thing besides sniper tactics. I didn't think I'd actually need to use those lessons so quickly.

"Listen to him, don't argue, be empathic and try and build a rapport with him," I murmured back quietly in Russian. "Don't get my head blasted off."

"Especially the last part," Clint grabbed the kevlar and helped me shrug it off. "Slow and deliberate actions. Don't spook him. Try and get him near a window so I can get a clear shot. If I tell you to duck or move, do it without hesitation."

Clint tucked something small into the waistline of my pants. The cool blade of a small throwing knife sat against my skin and would be undetectable. It was such a quick motion he did it in no one would have noticed. I gave Clint my own small smile and a nod of my head and he stood back. He looked calm and confident. Like he had every bit of trust in me to do this right. I just had to be calm and use my head. Craig had been reasonable enough to bring a hostage out. He might be easy enough to talk down as well. Squaring my shoulders I took a deep breath and turned around to walk calmly towards Craig. As I did my earpiece came to life with the quiet voice of Coulson.

"We have a kill order, but only in a desperate circumstance. Keep him talking Kari, try and resolve this. I'll be in your ear if you need me but don't let him know that."

I tilted my head ever so slightly to the left to acknowledge I'd heard and understood him. Everything around me had gone eerily quiet. All I could hear was my own heart thundering in my ears as I walked closer to Craig. My stomach wound itself into a mess of knots. Not even butterflies could dance around it was wound up so tightly. My mouth was dry and I couldn't make any moisture appear in my mouth. This was so fucking crazy. What was I doing?

"Alright Craig here I am," I said what I hoped to be calmly. "Do you want to let her go now?"

Craig shoved the woman forward and I quickly caught her in my arms. The poor woman was terrified. She clung to me desperately, sobbing hysterically as I tried to pull her off me. I never took my eyes off Craig. He raised his arm ready to fire if I didn't come to him. It would be a disaster.

"You're going to be ok," I assured the woman. "But I have to go now, see that man over there in the suit? His name is Phil, you need to go to him."

While I spoke I pried her hands from off my shirt and gave her a small shove in Coulson's direction. I nearly pushed the poor woman off her feet, but at least she let go of me. I could hear running footsteps coming from behind me so I kept walking. As I walked towards Craig I held my hands up in a non threatening manner.

"Inside," Craig ordered me shortly.

"Try and keep near the windows" Coulson's voice was quiet in my ear. I walked into the building and Crag fell in behind me. It was an old apartment block in desperate need of some attention. The lobby was dark, even in the mid morning light. The entire thing was in a state of disrepair. The tiles under my feet made a crunching sound like they were cracking with every step of my booted feet. The wallpaper on the walls was faded and peeling off in places leaving a hideous green colour showing. Craig was right behind me and I could smell the sickly sweet smell of bourbon on his breath. He didn't seem drunk though. His steps behind me were heavy, but confident. There wasn't any waver in his manner or voice to give any indication he was drunk.

"Up the stairs, 5th floor," Craig gave me a small shove. There wasn't a lot of force behind it but it was enough to nearly knock me off my feet. I staggered and only just managed to keep my footing by sheer luck. He was strong, very strong. There was no way I was going to be able to muscle my way around this one. I was really hoping I wouldn't have to either.

"Of course," I regained my balance and started to walk up the stairway which was on the left of the lobby. The stairs weren't in much better shape than the rest of the building. A few stairs groaned under both our weight and I expected to go tumbling through them at any second. With every step my already racing heart was pounding even louder. I had to take a few quiet deep breaths to keep myself under control.

We reached the 5th floor and Craig gave me a shove towards a door which was barely hanging on its hinges. I gingerly opened the door expecting it to fall off at my touch. Thankfully it didn't. The door opened into an apartment with a group of people crowded up in the lounge room. It was a tiny apartment. The lounge had a kitchen in the corner and then 2 doors to the right which I assumed would be the bathroom and bedroom. It was stifling hot in here with all the people crowded in here with no window open or even a fan blowing.

The hostages were a mix of people. There was one lady cradling a child who looked to be no older than about 5. But thankfully no other children. The rest of the hostages ranged from my age to an elderly lady who was glaring at Craig defiantly as he walked back into the room.

"What can I do for you Craig?" I asked getting into it straight away as soon as the big man pulled the door closed.

"I want my life back," Craig snarled at me taking a few angry steps towards me. It took every ounce of courage I could muster to not back down from him. He stopped barely a hands width from my face. "I want my wife and kid and I off the Index and to disappear and not be found again."

"We can work with this," I said soothingly. "Is that your wife and kid?"

I motioned carefully towards the woman with the child in her arms. She looked up at me tearfully with a small ray of hope spreading across her face. Now I got a good look at her face I could see a nasty black eye brewing, no doubt from a strong backhand. If Craig had been the one to smack her across the face. What else was he capable of?

"Yes," Craig took a step back from me and I let out a small huff of relief. "SHIELD made me lose my job, it wasn't my fault I lost control and then got fired over it."

"I know how you feel," I started choosing my words carefully. Right now I just had to build a rapport with him. Be calm and be understanding. "It's horrible isn't it? I've only been working for SHIELD for a few months and I didn't join by choice."

Craig just stared at me with a hardened expression on his face. He didn't say anything so I elaborated a bit further.

"You saw my power. I'm pretty handy at making things freeze but I think we might have the same problem that when we're not always in control, things sometimes happen."

A curt nod was all I got from Craig so I kept going.

"I used to be a USAF Pilot. It's all I ever wanted to be ever since I was a kid. I loved my job until these 2 new guys joined. For some reason they thought it'd be a great idea to slip a roofie in my beer and try and drag me out. Unfortunately for them it didn't work so well in their favour and I killed both of them with my power. It was an accident, but SHIELD weren't very happy with me. I got given a choice to join SHIELD which I took because I didn't like the other option I was presented."

"Kari don't react to this, but we just got a hit on this guy," Coulson's voice came through my earpiece again. "Craig Alexanders, been on the run for the last 3 weeks for trying to rob a bank. He murdered 3 people to get away. Highly unstable, his wife has had a restraining order on him for months. "

Holy shit, I was just thrown in way over my head. This guy wasn't going to be shy of taking a few more victims if this went really bad. My mind raced with what to do next. I took the obvious course of action to keep him talking.

"What's your daughters name?" I asked quickly to drown out the sound of Coulson's voices replaying in my mind.

"Elizabeth," Craig answered me, his eyes darting frantically to the girl still in her mother's arms. The small girl had her face buried into her Mother's chest. Her shoulders were heaving from muffled sobs. "I just wanted to give her everything."

"That means you're a good Dad," I managed to put a small smile on my face. "What parent wouldn't want to give their little girl everything she could possibly want?"

"Yeah you're right, I'm a good Dad," Craig's gaze pulled back to me. "I lost my job working at the factory and I just wanted to provide for my family. SHIELD has been no help to me at all."

With the last sentence growing louder, the glow of energy in his hand increased. I threw myself on the ground just in time and felt the blast sizzle a few hairs on my head. I didn't even get time to pick myself back up before Craig yanked me back onto my feet by the front of my shirt. His face right in mine.

"So here's what you're going to do Agent Kari," Craig's face was turning red from anger. "I'm going to throw you out the window and see if your cyrokinesis can save your ass this time."

"Not a great idea," I said frantically trying to stall for time. STRIKE should be banging down that door any second now.

"And why is that?" A manic smirk fell onto his face.

It was terrifying. Looking into his eyes was like looking into pit with no ending. His eyes were just dead and emotionless. It was enough distraction for me to bring a ball of ice into my hand and smack it directly in his face. The distraction made him drop me and stagger back a few steps. Right into the view of the only window without curtains.

"You fucking bitch!" Craig roared clawing frantically at his half frozen face. "I'll kill you and all your fucking SHIELD agents out there."

His hands started to glow again. I yanked the throwing knife from my pants and threw it at hard as I could at his eye. It was the first thing that came to mind to disable him quickly. The sharp blade pierced right through eye and landed handle deep in my intended target. Craig dropped to his knees with a gargled spray of blood shooting from his mouth before falling onto the ground. It was only when his body hit the floor I saw one of Clint's arrows protruding into the side of his neck as well.

A second later the door broke open and a STRIKE force pouring into the room yelling for everyone to get on the ground. I couldn't make my body work, I couldn't even tear my eyes from the now dead body of Craig Alexanders. I'd never know if it was my knife or Clint's arrow that killed him. I was stunned that I'd made the decision to quickly to pull the knife and throw it. I hadn't even hesitated.

"Kari," It was Coulson's voice in my ear that broke me out of the trance of looking at the body on the floor.

"Threat neutralised," my voice was shaking. A hand grabbed my arm and I jumped in surprise. I looked over to see Natasha at my side.

"Come on, lets get out of here," Natasha said firmly. Without waiting for an answer from me, she guided us both out of the room and back down the stairs. Everything was fast turning into a blur. I could remember walking out into the hallway and down the stairs, but my mind could barely focus by the time I hit the 3rd floor. All I could think of was seeing Craig's body on the floor with my knife sticking out of his eye. My stomach was suddenly clenched and I could feel bile rising in my throat.

"I think I'm going to be sick," I whispered hoarsely to Natasha.

Natasha didn't say anything. She just yanked me into one of the apartments and I somehow managed to stagger into the bathroom. Collapsing to my knees I retched into the toilet once before my breakfast made a reappearance. Natasha had hold of my braid keeping it out of the way while she rubbed my back. My head was spinning and I couldn't hear anything except a loud ringing in my ears while I hunched over the toilet miserably throwing up until there was nothing left in my body to throw up. It felt like an eternity before I could prop myself away from the toilet without the fear of being sick again. I opened my eyes and sat back with a small groan. Clint was on the other side of me, supporting my weight while Natasha still rubbed my back. I hadn't even heard Clint enter the room I'd been so out of it while throwing up. I began to shiver suddenly feeling very cold.

"It's just adrenaline," Clint rubbed my arm reassuringly. "It'll pass. You've done this before. You're ok."

That was a bit of a lie. This time I'd intentionally thrown the knife to kill the person threatening me. Last time it'd been nothing but self defence. Goosebumps crawled over my skin at the thought of what just happened. I'd thrown that knife with the clear intention to kill him. I still couldn't quite process that in my head.

"I feel terrible," I couldn't get my voice above a whisper.

"That'll pass too," Natasha gave me back a few more rubs before stopping. "Water?"

I just nodded, not trusting my voice still. Natasha got up and left the room.

"Come on wash your face and rinse your mouth out," Clint was gentle but firm as he pulled me back to my feet. "You'll feel better. Trust me on that one. You can't stay in here all day."

I felt wobbly as I got back to my feet. I felt like I was going to collapse in those 2 steps it took for me to go from the toilet to the basin. The cold water splashing on my face brought me back to reality a bit quicker. It was then I realised the horrible taste in my mouth from throwing up. Trying not to gag I rinsed my mouth out. I lent back against the wall feeling slightly more normal again. Natasha reappeared with a bottle of water and wordlessly handed me one. I uncapped it and took a long drink. Every second standing there slumped against the wall felt like I was slowly gaining my wits back.

"Is everyone alright?" I finally asked breaking the silence. My voice was stronger this time.

"All hostages unharmed and accounted for," Clint had a small smile on his face. "Nice throw."

"I am taught by the best," I forced my own smile onto my face. I didn't want to ask the question of whether it was my knife or Clint's arrow that killed him. It seemed irrelevant now. The guy was dead and there was no coming back from that. Natasha chuckled lightly and gave me a pat on the shoulder. Clint pulled me into a very brief hug.

"We need to get downstairs," Natasha said in her usual business like tone. "You need to walk out there on your own two feet. Ready?"

"Yeah I'll be fine," I nodded pushing myself off the wall. I still felt a bit off colour but nothing like I was a few minutes ago. Somehow it was easy to push everything from my mind at that moment and not focus on what I had just done. I followed Clint and Natasha back down the crumbling stairs and into the weak morning sun.

The entire street was a massive hive of activity. SHIELD cars and vans were everywhere, along with numerous Agents. There were people talking to the hostages, others carrying crates of equipment back into the apartment building. Off to the side stood the STRIKE team that had stormed the building. It wasn't a team I knew so I ignored them. Coulson was on the radio which he put down the second he saw the three of us and came over.

"Good job Kari," Coulson looked relieved to see me standing in front of him. "Are you hurt?"

I shook my head rapidly but didn't trust myself to say anything just yet. Coulson put his hand on my back and quickly guided me away from the chaos of the scene. He directed me into the back of an open, but empty van. I sat down and took another sip from my water bottle, not sure where this was going.

"I'm sorry I had to send you in there." Coulson said watching me carefully. "I know this isn't an area you've had any training in and that was a messy situation."

"You mean besides Nat sticking me with truth serum" I joked. It brought a small and very relieved smile to Coulson's face.

"You did good today Kari, really good," Coulson crouched so we nearly at eye level. "Do you have anyone home tonight?"

"Probably not?" I looked at Coulson feeling slightly confused. "I mean Jared is away and I have no idea when Riley is back from where ever his team is. Why?"

"Because you don't need to be alone tonight," Coulson explained.

"Oh," it clicked with me why Coulson was asking me this. If I was alone I was probably going to sit there and dwell on today. If I dwelt on it my mind would only come up with new and creative ways of everything that could have gone wrong today. It'd taken me weeks to get over what happened in Afghanistan. Killing that man had been nothing but self defence. This time I'd made the conscious decision to take the person out.

"Bunk over at my place." Clint's voice came from behind Coulson. I glanced at him, not realising he was right behind Coulson.

"I don't want to intrude," I said quickly. It was such a weak excuse considering I'd spent quite a few nights bunking over while Riley was away.

"Please, you can sit there and play sing along to give me some peace and quiet," Clint chuckled. "But Coulson is right. You don't need to be alone tonight."

"Well, looks like you're cooking dinner," Natasha gave Clint a playful shove as she came up from behind him. "I'll bring the beer. Joining us Coulson?"

"I'll bring the pie," Coulson chuckled at their antics. "Come on, lets all get back to base and then home so Clint can cook something awesome, like sticky pork belly."

Clint groaned at the request. But there wasn't any refusal to cook it. I perked up immediately at the sound of that dish. If it was anything like Clint's stir fry I was all in for that.

After getting back to base, debriefs took the rest of the morning and some of the afternoon up. I'd had a 10 minutes video call with Andrew Garner at Coulson's request. I'd talked to him that way a few times while we were still overseas and it was nice to bounce my thoughts off without any fear of judgement. Again he reassured me my feelings were all warranted and normal. That I wasn't going crazy and I was coping just fine with everything happening around me. It was nice to get signed off by him pretty much straight away as well. He seemed to like my no bullshit attitude with him. It left enough time for me to run and get Lila from her playgroup and take her to ballet lessons. It was such a strange day. This morning I killed someone and in the afternoon I was sitting watching 3 and 4 year olds twirling around in tutus.

Dinner was loud but full of laughter. Clint cooked Coulson's requested sticky pork belly without any complaints. Coulson had brought a peanut butter swirl cheesecake from the amazing little bakery not far from Clint's places. Laura was working a late shift so it was just us and the kids for dinner. Lila had pleaded with me to watch her new favourite Disney movie before dinner. I had to admit, watching Beauty and the Beast instead of her usual favourites was a nice change. Natasha had taken Cooper out the back to show him a backwards spinning kick. So there were no protests from either of the kids when they were told to go to bed straight after dinner. Lila had attached herself to me and begged me to tuck her in though. I was powerless against those huge brown eyes. I tucked her in, snuck 2 stories in instead of the usual one. She was fast asleep by the time I pulled the covers up.

It was late when Natasha and Coulson both left. They'd both stayed for a beer and just a casual talk. It was nice to be able to see Coulson away from the stress of work. He always had the best stories about Clint as well. He also had some really good ones about Natasha too from her first days in SHIELD. He was more than willing to embarrass both of them with the stories. Poor Clint had been wearing the brunt of most of it tonight.

Clint and I sat on the back porch on the swing, having a quiet beer. Lucy and Lucky sat at our feet fast asleep. The neighbourhood around us was quiet and the only sounds were the occasional car and the chirping of night insects in the brisk winter air.

"You did so well today Kari," Clint said breaking the silence as he rocked the swing back and forth with his legs.

"I was shitting myself the entire time," I said dryly taking a sip of beer. I brushed off the compliment. I did't think I'd done well. I just made everything up on the spot and went with the flow of things. "I can't believe I threw up afterwards again."

"I still do sometimes," Clint admitted turning to look at me. I was about to roll my eyes and smack him for teasing me. The joke died on my lips when I saw he was being serious. "It's never an easy thing to take someone's life. Especially point blank like that without hesitation."

"I feel like maybe I should have hesitated," I bit my lip. This had played on my mind a bit. Andrew had warned me that I'd question myself a lot about this. "I mean the guy was fine, talking to me one second and the next he just lost it."

"If you hesitated all that would be left of you would be the pretty flag on your coffin for your parents to see," Clint said with his usual brutal honesty. "And a hero's send off with your name on a wall somewhere. And Craig Alexanders would still be dead from the arrow I put through his neck. Take it from me Kari, don't dwell on that what if's and the possibilities of what might happen. Just focus on you're alive and you got all of those hostages out. That's all that matters."

The silence hung between us as his words sunk into my brain. Clint was right, as usual. I'd send myself mad trying to work out all the what ifs in my life if I kept going with this. I couldn't fall apart every time something happened in my life that rattled me. Whether I wanted it or not, this was still my life for another 6 months. I was still a little unsure I could do this as a career. But I was starting to love my job. But I don't know how long I could keep it up. STRIKE didn't exactly have the longest life expectancies.

"I think my Mother would be so mad I died that she'd come and drag me back from Death himself." I just gave a small shrug. "I'm dreading the phone call I'll be making telling her what happened. But then again I'm sure she already knows what happens and is just putting together her lecture."

"Did you ring Riley?" Clint asked after he chuckled at my statement. I shook my head in answer. He'd been off grid for 2 weeks so there was no point trying to contact him until he contacted me. It was his first extended time away from me so I was feeling a bit lonely and missing him like crazy.

"I always hate ringing Laura after we've been on a mission and I've done something stupid or been busted up," Clint took a sip of beer. "Because as soon as I get home I just get those looks. I don't even get a lecture anymore. The looks are enough to make me quake in my boots and contemplate sleeping on the couch for the next 2 months. I dread thinking what you and Riley are going to end up like."

"Big bad Hawk scared of his 5'3 wife," I couldn't stop my snort of laughter. "Anyway we've only been dating for 5 months, who knows where this will end up."

"Wedding bells, babies all the normal shit," Clint teased me. "You know all that crap girls always dream of."

"I dreamt of flying fast planes and finding various ways to blow up stuff during holidays," I laughed at Clint's teasing. "The last time I had a boyfriend that lasted beyond a week was when I was 20. So this is all pretty amazing that its worked out for me for once. Having a boyfriend is a pretty new experience for me."

"What's all new for you?" a familiar voice made me nearly fall off the swing. I turned around to see a grinning Riley standing in the doorway. I looked at Clint in surprise.

"I may have made a call for you," Clint grinned at me. "Figured you'd want some company after a big day. You're still staying here the night though. I really don't need to hear you having sex so keep it quiet. I'm going to bed anyway. Night."

With that Clint left Riley and I alone sitting on the back porch. Riley dropped his bag on the ground and came and sat next to me, pulling me into his arms. I sighed in contentment being wrapped in his strong arms. By the look and smell of him he'd come straight back from whatever his mission was. His pants were still splattered in mud. He had a few days worth of stubble across his face and he looked really tired. I didn't care. I was just happy he was home.

"I missed you," Riley said quietly before kissing me. "It felt like an eternity being away."

"I missed you too," I kissed him back. "A lot. How did you get out of it?"

"We were finished and waiting for our ride," Riley explained. "Coulson sent out a Quinjet to pick us up sooner than anticipated. I wanted it to be a surprise."

"Best surprise ever," I smiled. Coulson really went above and beyond sometimes. "Coming to bed? Or do you want a shower first?"

"I'll have a shower first," Riley wrinkled his nose slightly as if he was smelling himself for the first time. "Meet you in bed? I'll be quick."

True to his word, Riley was showered and in bed in about 5 minutes. I'd just started to drift off to sleep as he climbed in behind me, pulling me back into his body. I smiled shifting back as close as I could possibly get to him. It felt so good to touch him again. Even if it was through a thin layer of clothes.

"I missed you so much," Riley murmured into my hair.

"Me too," I squeezed Riley's hand which was on my arm. "How was your mission?

"Muddy," Riley chuckled briefly. "Long and it turned out to be a complete dead end. All I could think of was you. Why are we sleeping at Clint's tonight?

"I seemed to get thrown into shit fights all the time without any training," my words were muffled by the yawn that made my jaw stretch right open. "Too late to talk about it."

Much to my disgust Riley pulled away from me and reached over the flick the bedside light on. I swore at him under my breath in Icelandic as the light was momentarily blinding. Riley pulled me over so I was lying on my back looking up at him. As tired as he looked I knew I wasn't going to be getting out of this one easily.

"There was a guy, Craig was his name," I started without Riley having to prompt me. "He was gifted. Threw off kinetic energy blasts and he was holding a room full of people hostage. He sent a blast at us and I threw up a wall of ice like I'd been practicing with Clint."

"I'm very glad you're practicing that," Riley said lightly with a small smile. "This doesn't sound like it has a happy ending."

"It really doesn't," I sighed quietly. I chewed on my lip mulling over my next words. "He exchanged me for one of the hostages. Turns out he lost his job because of something to do with his powers and was angry with SHIELD for not helping him. He basically lost his shit, went to throw me out a window but I managed to smack some ice into his face."

I hesitated knowing what was coming next. Riley just stayed here, hovering above me resting on his arms waiting for me to speak.

"He went to blast me and Clint had slipped a small throwing knife in my pants. I pulled it out and got him right in the eye. Clint shot him as well," I shrugged with a small frown. "I don't know if I killed him, or Clint did. But it was pretty fucked up. Self defence aside, I made the conscious decision to pull that knife out and aim it for his eye."

"It's not easy," Riley reached down and gave me a hug. I wrapped my arms around him, enjoying the feeling of being in arms again. "I know how you feel. I've had to pull the trigger on some pretty awful calls. I'm just glad you're alive and safe. Did the hostages get out?"

"All alive and accounted for," my voice was slightly muffled as I buried my head into the crook of Riley's neck. "Thats the most important thing."

"I'd like to think the most important thing was that you're here in my arms tonight," Riley said quietly. "But I'm also glad those hostages can be with their families."

"Me too," I started to drift off again. It'd been a big day. Riley reached over and turned the light off, plunging the room into darkness.

"I love you," I murmured before I fully fell asleep. Those words still hadn't lost their magical feeling and I said them whenever I could.

"I love you too," Riley squeezed me hard. He sounded just as sleepy as me. "So much."

I felt like I'd only just closed my eyes before a message came through on my phone dragging me back to the land of the living. It took me a few goes to actually get my eyes open enough to look at the clock. I groped in the dark trying to find the offending object that had made the noise to wake me up. It was 0401. I still had an hour of sleep left before we had to be in at work. I finally got my phone and squinted at the bright light of the screen. It took me about 20 seconds before the message actually sunk in. It was from Coulson.

Tony Stark has been found.


	31. Chapter 31

I tapped my fingers against the control stick irritably as I was held up yet again to be cleared to land at Edwards Air Base. Even having Coulson get on the radio and get a bit snappy with the air traffic control wasn’t helping. Having Tony Stark flying in from Afghanistan seemed to make the air traffic crazy in the area. Helicopters were hovering just outside of the restricted air space, all trying to get a view of the missing billionaire. I’d already had an argument with a news chopper over the radio as the idiot fly right up close to the Quinjet trying to see if we had Stark on board. 

“We’re going to miss him,” for the first time I’d seen him Coulson actually looked pissed off. I didn’t blame him though. He’d been sent to grab Stark before he got off the plane for a debrief. Now it was looking more and more like that wouldn’t happen. 

“SHIELD, 629 Bravo you are cleared for landing,” the bored sounding air traffic controller finally said over the radio. He then rattled off the runway I needed as I made a large sweeping turn. I wrinkled my nose as I always did at the designation SHIELD had given me. Apparently SHIELD didn’t like their pilots having callsigns so you got a random designation instead. 

“About time,” Coulson grumbled as he pulled his phone out. He stared at the screen for a few moments while I lined up our landing. “We’re going to have to park. Stark has called a press conference.”

“Why would he call a press conference?” I didn’t take my eyes off the runway as we descended. “He’s been missing for 3 months now? Surely he’d want to go home and get some rest.”

“This is Tony Stark we’re talking about,” Coulson sighed in annoyance. “I don't know why he’s done it. We’ll just play it by ear. I want you to hang in the background as the pretence of being a bodyguard. Cross your arms, look tough and all that sort of thing.”

I shot a dirty look at Coulson for the last part of his sentence. He was a terrible tease when he wanted to be. At times I’m not sure if it was Clint rubbing off on him. Or that’s where Clint had gotten that side of her personality from. I’d been told to wear a nice business suit for this one instead of my usual black pants and shirt that was the norm for us. I quite liked how I looked in the sharp grey skirt suit with a pale blue blouse underneath. Coulson had eyed off the not so sensible 3 inch black strappy heels but hadn’t said not to wear them. I was barefoot while I was flying so I’d only need to pull them on when I got out of the car. 

We hit the runway with a small bounce and decelerated quickly. Unlike the wait in the air, I actually got to the designated parking spot fairly quickly. I don’t know how Coulson managed to organise things so quickly but he already had a car parked and waiting for us next to the hanger. I felt very strange being on Edwards base in a Quinjet just parking it near an unused hanger. I felt like I needed a set of keys to make sure it was locked so no one took it for a spin while we weren’t there. 

Compared to DC, California was so warm. I was almost too hot in my suit as we left the Quinjet. With my shoes in my hand I had to tiptoe across the concert which was hot under my toes. 

“Where are we going?” I went straight for the passenger seat. Coulson always drove. Always. No matter who was in the car with him. We both slid into the SHIELD car and were off before I’d barely gotten the door closed. Coulson was driving fast to get where ever we needed to go. I clutched at the door handle for support and a small amount of fear. Maybe this is what it felt like when I was flying and being a bit reckless. 

“To the press conference,” Coulson glanced over to me briefly. “Shoes on.”

I didn’t argue. I just pulled my heels on quickly and looked to Coulson for some guidance. I knew I was asked here to be a pilot. But to tag along to a debrief was something very new for me. 

“If we can corner Stark and get him to debrief,” Coulson explained as soon as my second shoe was fastened. “I just want you to take notes. Make note of every minor detail no matter how insignificant it may seem. Be seen and not heard. This will be good experience for you.”

“Must be the week for it,” I couldn’t stop my cheeky reply slipping out. Thankfully Coulson just shot me a small grin in response. Seeing me bounce into work and excited to be taking him to California must have put his mind at ease on how I coped with yesterdays situation. 

“It’ll do you the world of good to do something a little bit more normal than you’ve been doing lately,” Coulson continued. “We’re really cramming everything into you at the moment aren’t we?”

“I’m not complaining,” it was my turn to send a grin over to Coulson. “One might even say I’m enjoying my time at SHIELD. This wasn’t quite the way I saw my year playing out, but I have no complaints.”

“Good,” though the reply was brief. The look on Coulson’s face gave his emotions away. He looked relieved, proud and happy all rolled into one. It took a lot to see those emotions come through with Coulson. My christmas present for him seemed to be the ultimate ice breaker between us. Before he was slightly guarded around me. Now I was seeing the real Phil Coulson slip through more and more. 

“So are you sure we can’t drug Stark and drag him away if we can’t get hold of him?” I tried to keep my face smoothed into a perfect emotionless facade. It was hard to stop the corners of my lips twitching in effort to hide my humour though.

“You just sounded and looked eerily like Nat right then,” Coulson laughed at me without confirming or denying my plan. 

“That wasn’t a no,” I prodded gently to see if that was actually on the cards. 

“That’s a no,” Coulson shook his head and laughed at me again. “Just be a normal person for 20 minutes. You were normal once. Just try it again.”

“I don’t remember what normal is anymore,” I put my feet up on the dash, crossing my ankles over and sliding down into the seat. 

“Down,” Coulson gave me a stern look. 

I quickly complied putting my feet back down on the car floor. That was one thing I could get away with Clint. I guess Coulson disagreed strongly. I was usually relegated to the back with Natasha if Coulson drove anywhere. We’d drive out of the air base and Coulson was really putting his foot down to get to where ever the press conference was being held. 

“Thanks for letting me tag along today,” I smiled sweetly to Coulson. It softened his stern look straight away. “The weather is much nicer here.”

“You’re welcome,” Coulson smile was easy. “Was Riley grumbling in the background when I called you?”

“A little bit,” I shook my head with a wry smile. “He has a week off and I think he had plans.”

“Oh to be young and sickeningly in love,” Coulson teased. “I promise you this won’t take more than a few hours and you can get back whatever you have planned.”

As much as I tried to hide it, I couldn’t stop the silly smile on my face. I knew exactly what Riley had planned for us when I get home. After him being away for 2 weeks I was more than looking forward to it. I thought after all these months our sex life might start to settle down a bit more, but the novelty definitely hadn’t worn off yet. 

“And we’re here,” Coulson pulled in front of the large building. I had no idea where we actually were. But it was jammed packed with cars and reporters vans. I could see a group of people clustered around the entrance. Even in the light of day the cameras flashes could be seen as a black limo pulled up to the kerb. I only just caught a glimpse of Tony Stark as he into the crowd. Judging by the balding head my guess he went straight to Obadiah Stane. The crowd of reporters swamped around him as they followed him into the building.

“Shit,” Coulson swore softly under his breath. “Come on, we need to move.”

I didn’t give him any attitude as we both scrambled out of the car and into the thick crowd. Just as we hit the door, 2 security guards quickly stepped into our path.

“Thank you,” Coulson didn’t give them time to speak. He simply whipped his badge and ID out. “Agent Lyngley is with me. Do you have our visitor passes?”

I had to give it to Coulson. He could get the impossible done in any short amount of time. Here we were landed and only out of the Quinjet for 10 minutes. He’d already organised a car and security passes for us to be in on this conference. All while just typing away furiously on his phone while I was landing. 

The security guard mumbled an apology before quickly getting on the radio. In a few seconds we had our visitors pass and were hurriedly walking down the hallway. It wasn’t hard to find where we were going. It was just a case of following the crowd and what was left of the stragglers. Coulson caught the door just as it was closing behind us. 

The room was packed. Not just with reporters but at a second glance there was a lot of security. It almost felt like Bagram all over again with the amount of government agencies packed in there. It wasn’t just SHIELD. To my left 2 FBI agents were standing by themselves. Just in front of them were CIA. I had no doubt Homeland Security and DOD wouldn’t be far away either. Everyone was going to want to hear what Stark had to say for himself after 3 months of disappearance. 

“Kari,” Coulson tapped my arm lightly to get my attention. He motioned his head towards a tall, pencil thin woman standing in the back of the room by herself. She was dressed in a chocolate pant suit with her hair pulled back in a messy bun. Coulson didn’t wait for me to respond. He began walking over towards her. I quickly made sure I was a step behind him.

“Miss Potts?” Coulson’s voice made her turn to face us both. 

Tony Stark’s personal assistant, Pepper Potts, looked at us both with a small smile. Under the make up and practiced poised she didn’t look like she’d slept terribly well. Her eyes were still red rimmed, no doubt from tears that she hadn’t managed to cover up. 

“Yes?” Pepper looked at both of us.

“Can I speak with you for a moment,” Coulson didn’t waste time to get to the point. 

“Oh, I’m not part of the press conference,” Pepper said with her eyes darting to the front of the room. “It’s about to begin right now.”

“I’m not a reporter,” Coulson looked a little amused at her brush off. “I’m Agent Phil Coulson with the Strategic Homeland, Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.”

“That’s quite a mouthful,” the corners of Pepper’s lips quirked up at her own small joke. I bit my lip to cover my own amusement. She wasn’t wrong there. Coulson handed her one of his standard business cards, which she quickly tucked it into the book she was carrying.

“I know, we’re working on it,” Coulson sounded like it wasn’t the first time he’d heard that. I rolled my eyes at his half turned back. 

“You know we’ve already been approached by the DOD, FBI, CIA” Pepper started sounding a little exasperated. 

“We’re a separate division with a more specific focus,” Coulson cut her off gently. “We need to debrief Mr Stark about the circumstances of his escape.”

“I’ll put something in the book, shall I?” Pepper seemed to be wanting to have this conversation over in a hurry. She glanced over towards me like she was only noticing me for the first time. I gave her my own small smile which she returned.

“Thank you,” Coulson took his dismissal and walked away about a dozen paces. 

“Well, she didn’t seem to happy,” I murmured to Coulson as we stood at the back of the room. 

Obidiah Stane was standing at the podium looking around the room. I frowned and it took me a second to actually locate Stark. He was sitting down on the ground, pulling a cheeseburger out of his jacket. 

“Hey, would it be alright if everybody sat down?” Tony waved his cheeseburger around as he took another big mouthful. “Why don’t you just sit down? That way you can see me and I can….”

Tony trailed off looking around. Everyone in the room was slowly crouching to the ground. I looked over to Coulson who gave me a small shrug as we both sunk to the ground. 

“What’s he doing?” I whispered to Coulson. Obadiah came to crouch beside Tony, a few murmured words were spoken between them that was too quiet to reach the back of the room without the microphones. Obadiah reached over and gave Tony’s shoulder a firm squeeze.

Tony looked terrible. As would anyone after 3 months in captivity. He’d lost about 40 pounds and he looked grey and haggard. It looked like he hadn’t seen the sun in a very long time. It was a stark contrast from the man that was flirting with me at the gala all those months ago. No one but him knew what he’d actually gone through. By the looks of him it hadn’t been pleasant. At least he looked like he’d had a chance to shower and shave. His immaculate navy suit hang off his now thin frame. 

“I never got to say goodbye to my father,” Tony finally spoke up addressing the room. He turned so he was facing everyone. “There’s questions that I would have asked him. I would have asked how he felt about what this company did. If he was conflicted, if he ever had any doubts. Or maybe he was every inch the man we all remember from the news reels.”

The haunted look in Tony’s eyes made me shudder slightly. Now his burger was finished he’d gone to fiddling with napkin in his hand. It was a small motion. Not something everyone was going to pick up on. But his face aged another 5 years before he got the next words out.

“I saw,” Tony had to swallow hard before he continued. “Young americans killed by the very weapons I created to defend them and protect them.”

The image of the fragment bomb landing right in front of me sent a cold chill down my spine. So it wasn’t sheer luck that the group who had Stark had his weapons. That must have been a very complex plan set into motion by players unknown in the background. Coulson reached over and gave my arm a small squeeze bringing me back into the conference room. I blinked a few times to get that image out of my head.

“And I saw that I had become part of a system that was comfortable with zero accountability,” Tony’s voice shook slightly.

“Mr Stark!” one of the reporters quickly jump in to ask a question as Tony paused.

“Hey Ben,” Tony’s familiarity made the reporter hesitate for half a second with his question.

“What happened over there?”

“I, ah,” Tony stumbled over his words before a look of hard determination set across his face. He climbed to his feet and started to pace to back behind the microphone podium. “Had my eyes opened. I came to realise that I have more to offer this world than just making stuff blow up. And that is why, effective immediately, I am shutting down the weapons manufacturing division of Stark Industries.”

The room all got up and starting shouting question at Tony. My mouth dropped open at his bold declaration. Tony himself got to his feet with Stane right by his side. The noise was absolutely deafening as people were shouting in excitement and questions. 

“Until such a time as I can decide what the future of the company will be,” Tony’s grim look didn’t falter. Obadiah came to stand beside him and was trying to steer him away from the microphones. It didn’t deter Tony. He just raised his voice to be heard until he’d said his piece.

“What direction it should take, one that I am comfortable with,” Tony began to move away and walk through the crowd. “And is consistent with the highest good for this country as well.”

“Well fuck me,” Coulson’s words were barely heard over the noise. Tony’s personal security were muscling their way to get towards him as the reporters tried to swamp him. Pepper had discreetly slipped away during the ruckus. 

“I’m going to the bathroom,” I couldn’t deal with the noise and commotion anymore. The crowd of people were closing in fast around us and I wanted to get out. Coulson just gave me a small nod to let me know he’d heard me. I ducked and weaved through the people until I was clear. I let out a small sigh of relief to be free from the masses. 

It wasn’t hard to find the bathroom. It was only just down the hallway. I didn’t actually need to go so I went to the basin and just washed my hands and splashed some water on my face. The excitement of coming today was fast wearing off and I was still feeling tired from yesterdays mission. I even looked tired. I had dark circles under my eyes despite the good night sleep I’d gotten. At least I wasn’t looking too terrible in any other way. My hands were scraped from hitting the ground yesterday. My poor knuckles and hands were looking as rough as Riley’s these days. 

A toilet flushed and the stall behind me opened. To my surprise, Pepper stepped out of it. We both startled seeing each other standing there.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you,” I gave Pepper a small smile. “Just needed to get away from the crowd.”

“You and me both,” Pepper returned the smile. “You were with Agent Coulson, but he didn’t introduce you.”

“Kari,” I stuck my hand out. “Agent Lyngley if you want to be really formal. I’m just Agent Coulson’s pilot today and tagging along for the ride.”

“Pleasure,” Pepper shook my hand. I inwardly cringed at her lovely smooth and perfectly manicured nails against my grungy hands. “I needed to get away from the crowd too.”

The small confession came with a shy smile from Pepper. It melted away the stress lines on her face that she must have been holding there for the last 3 months. Beneath her professional exterior there was still a normal person. From what I knew she’d been Tony’s personal assistant for a very long time. He was probably like family to her. Seeing him home must have been an enormous relief. Before I could say anything else, a blonde female reporter walked into the toilet. She looked between the two of us, her face lighting up in absolute glee at seeing Pepper standing there. She opened her mouth, ready to barrage out a million questions. 

“Miss Potts if you’ll follow me please,” I quickly cut in with a crisp authoritarian voice. I placed my hand on Pepper’s hand and gave her a gentle push. “The rest of the security team is waiting for you to exit with Mr Stark.”

“Miss Potts if you could,” the blonde reporter started. 

“Sorry Miss Potts we have to go,” I cut her off. “The car is waiting.”

With my hand on her back I quickly steered her away from the reporter. The reporter glared daggers at our retreating backs but didn’t make a move to follow or thrown any questions after us. As we walked away I couldn’t help but feel smugly proud of how quickly I just thought on my feet. Then I hit a snag in my plan.

“Do you actually have to be somewhere?” I whispered to Pepper. I had no idea where I was walking to. For all I knew I could be walking Pepper into a boardroom with more reporters.

“Turn left,” Pepper whispered back. Her voice was strangled trying to contain her humour in this situation. We both made a sharp left turn and ran straight into the person I’d done so well to avoid for the last few months. Rhodey was standing there dressed in uniform hurrying down the hallway. I hadn’t seen him at the press conference.

“Pepper,” Rhodey simply raised an eyebrow at seeing the two of us standing together. “Happy is out front waiting for you.”

“Thank you Agent Lyngley,” Pepper just smiled at me. “Hopefully you’ll be with Agent Coulson next time we meet as well.”

Without waiting for my reply, Pepper ducked off and hurried towards the exit. Leaving me standing there anxiously picking my nails as Rhodey stared at me.

“You have no idea how hard you are to corner First Lieutenant Lyngley, sorry that’s Agent Lyngley now isn't it?” Rhodey looked more amused than pissed off. “How are you? I see SHIELD finally sank their claws into you.”

“Yes they did. I’m halfway through my year probation,” I shifted my weight uncomfortably. These heels definitely weren’t meant for standing for long periods of time. “I’m good thank you. You look relieved to have Mr Stark back on home soil.”

“I don’t think relieved quite covers it,” the smile on Rhodey’s face gave away what he wasn’t saying in words. “How are you enjoying your time in SHIELD?”

“Loving every second of it,” I said smoothly. I glanced around hoping Coulson was somewhere close and he’d come and save me. No such luck, it was just me and Rhodey standing here. I’d done so well to avoid him in Afghanistan. Of course I wasn’t so lucky that I could avoid him forever. 

“I read about what happened in the canyon that night,” Rhodey wasn’t mincing words with me. He seemed to know our time was limited and was getting straight to the point of what he wanted to talk about. “Thats some hardcore action even for the experienced guys.”

“I managed,” I shrugged looking past Rhodey. This conversation was making me feel quite uncomfortable. I don’t know why he felt the need to talk to me about this. Or why he felt the need to even speak to me. I’d only seen him once or twice in passing in my time in the Air Force. 

“And if you find yourself not managing in your probation what are you going to do after its over?” Rhodey persisted. 

“I have no idea,” I shrugged again finally bringing myself to look Rhodey in the eye. He was watching my every move intently. 

“From what I heard from your old squadron you were one of the most promising young pilots to sit in a Raptor,” Rhodey’s eyebrow raised slightly as we locked gazes. “It would be a shame to waste that all because of 2 idiots.”

Rhodey reached into his jacket and pulled out a card. He handed it to me while still watching me very carefully. With a small frown I took it from his hands glancing down at the small white card. It was nothing fancy, just his name and several numbers to reach him on. 

“If you decide SHIELD isn’t for you, ring me,” Rhodey said firmly. “While I can’t guarantee you’d make it back to your old Squadron, I can definitely guarantee you a position here in 461st as a test pilot.”

461st? What the hell was the 461st? I tried to rack my brains quickly so I didn’t sound like a complete idiot. Then it hit me like one of Natasha’s punches. The 461st had been assigned the F-35’s. I would be one of the first people to be flying them when they actually came out of production. Test pilots were often assigned to new squadrons when the aircraft went into service as well. This wasn’t just a step up from flying a F-22. It was like leaping over the Grand Canyon. 

“Thank you Sir,” I quickly tucked the business card into the pocket of my jacket. I didn’t know what else to say. Rhodey was dangling the golden goose right in front of me just as I thought I was settled here at SHIELD. 

“I hope to hear from you soon,” Rhodey stuck his hand out. I numbly took it and shook his hand firmly. “Have a good think about it Agent Lyngley. Those Captain stripes wouldn’t be too far away either.”

Without another word Rhodey dropped my hand and left me standing there in the hallway. It took me a minute of staring at the spot he’d just been in before I could make myself move. What the actual fuck just happened? Did I really just get a chance to have my entire life back with a snap of my fingers if I wanted it? A second later Coulson rounded the corner and called out to me bringing me back to reality. I strode over towards him, ignoring the temptation to finger at the business card in my pocket.

“Lets go,” Coulson looked at me curiously. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah,” I quickly plastered a smile onto my face. “Lets go home.”

The flight back was quiet. Coulson had phone call after phone call to deal with so he sat in the back talking quietly. The 3 hour flight gave me more than enough time to replay the brief conversation with Rhodey a few thousand times over in my head. It was an offer almost to good to be true. Didn’t I just say to Coulson before we landed how much I was loving my time here in SHIELD? Why the hell did Rhodey have to come and throw something like that at me to make everything complicated? Part of me wanted to say yes so badly to that offer. Flying a F-35 would be more than a dream come true. Especially being a test pilot. I’d get to play with everything before anyone else. 

There’d been a light dusting of snow by the time I landed back at the Triskelion. Compared to the balmy weather in California, it was absolutely freezing. After saying a quick goodbye to Coulson I practically ran as fast as I could in my heels back to the locker room. I got changed and was heading out to my Kawasaki in no time. According to the talk in the locker room there was a snow storm coming in. Most people were going to be in a rush to get home before it hit. As I headed to the garage I sent Riley a quick message letting him know I was on my way home. Neither Clint or Natasha came into work this morning. It was just Coulson and I. Riley told me to take the car this morning because of how shitty the weather was. I just shrugged and said I’d be fine. I thought he was going to argue about it, but he just shook his head instead. His over protectiveness drove me a bit crazy sometimes. We never really had proper arguments, sometimes just the occasional snarl and then an instant apology at each other.

There was already a line up of cars heading out of the garage by the time I was on my bike. It was frustrating having to sit behind the heavy traffic as we crawled along the bridge at a snails pace. The snow had started to pick up as soon as I was outside. I shivered and hunkered down in the few layers of clothes I had on. It was times like this I wish I’d been smart enough and taken Riley’s car this morning. In the slow moving traffic my mind kept replaying the conversation again that I had with Rhodey. Just moving to California alone had enough problems in itself. What would Riley say? Would he follow me there or would we have to try for a long distance relationship. How would I ever tell Clint’s kids I was moving away and probably not coming back for long periods of time? Shit, how the fuck would I even tell Clint and Natasha. The two people who have gone out of their way to let me into their private lives without any fuss. The people who had become my best friends when I needed them the most. 

I snapped my attention back to the road just as the car in front of me slammed the brakes on. I was following far too closely for slippery conditions and jammed my own front brake on. The bike skidded and wobbled precariously as I gently touched the back brake to keep my balance. I blew out a small huff of relief as I stayed upright and didn’t slam into the car in front of me and nearly came to a complete stop.

Until the car behind me hit my back wheel. I was still moving so the momentum of the none too gentle nudge of the car sent both me and the bike skidding sideways. My leg got trapped under the bike as I skidded a few feet along the icy ground. My jeans instantly ripped and I could feel are skin being ground off against the asphalt. Then pain, just lots and lots of pain as I lay there trapped under my heavy bike feeling blood pouring down what was left of my jeans. The world around me was silent except for the ringing of my ears. Motherfucker this wasn’t going to be pretty.

The weight was suddenly gone off me and my helmet was gently removed from my head. It was only then the ringing in my ears stopped and I could hear what was going on around me. 

“Kari?” Can you hear me?” it was Rumlow hovering above me. If he was the one who hit me I was going to beat him within an inch of his life.

“Ow,” I responded clutching at my leg as I sat up. “Ow, ow, motherfucking ow.”

Looking down to my aching leg, I’d taken off quite a few layers of skin. Road rash was never fun. When it was bleeding profusely like mine was, it was even worse. When I glanced up again from the mess I’d made of my leg, I jumped in surprise at who else was hovering over me.

“Fuck I’m so sorry Kari, I tried to miss you,” it was Rollins crouching next to Rumlow. “I didn’t mean to clip your tyre.”

I was in too much pain to respond. I just shook my head while fighting back tears as I clutched at my leg. It felt like it was on fire. All the exposed nerve endings just set my entire leg alight. More running feet came towards where I was sitting. Wasn’t this just going to fuck everyone’s afternoon commute up? My little accident had just blocked off one lane of traffic with a fast approaching snow storm on the way. 

“Alright lets get you up and to medical,” Rumlow looked at me sympathetically. “For fuck sake Kari, can’t you keep out of trouble for 5 seconds?”

I gave Rumlow a weak smile forcing myself not to cry. My leg hurt so damn badly. I couldn’t even focus to see if anything else was broken or hurt.

“It had to be you, of all the fucking people it had to be you,” Rollins muttered under his breath as he stood up from his crouch near me. “How are we doing this?”

I didn’t hear Rumlow’s response. As I sat there clutching at my leg with tears in my eyes another 2 sets of feet came into view. One had combat boots on and the other was wearing dress shoes. Knowing the dress shoes as Coulson’s it made me glance up.

“I’ve got Agent Kari Lyngley here,” Coulson already had his phone out and was speaking on it rapidly. He was looking over me as if he was assessing me for any other injuries. “Motorbike crash, bringing her up now. You boys right with her?”

The second person was Sam, on the phone as well. He looked a little white as he was staring down at me. It was strange to see him here at work. He should have had the week off, the same as Riley. 

“Yeah you might want to come and pick your girlfriend up,” Sam shook his head at me. “She just left half the skin of her leg on the road.”

“Ready?” Rumlow’s voice brought me back to what he was doing. He was crouching down beside me again, Rollins on the other side doing the same. I shook my head. I was definitely not ready to be moved. I was in enough pain just sitting here clutching at my leg. 

“Tough,” Rumlow’s sympathy seemed to have worn out quickly. “Ready Jack?”

Weird. I didn’t know Rollins first name until now. The minor distraction was enough for both of them to link arms and slip them underneath me, quickly lifting me up. My free hand went to digging into Rumlow’s shoulder for support. I felt unsteady and not happy about being picked up at all. It got even more embarrassing as both of them carried me the entire way back to medical. I’d only made it about 40 feet from the garage entrance. So at least I didn’t have a mile of cars to go past and everyone to gawk or shoot dirty looks at me. Coulson was beside one of them and a quick glance over my shoulder showed Sam not far behind. Sam will still on the phone talking quietly enough that I couldn't hear his conversation with Riley. Judging by the frown on Sam’s face I don’t think the conversation was going the way he planned.

My leg had at least stopped bleeding by the time I was gently sat down on the bed in medical. This was one place I really hoped I wasn’t going to be spending a lot of time in. It was set up like a small hospital, an entire wing onto itself on the 3rd floor. It had its own trauma centre, which I thankfully hadn’t seen yet. Jared had told me it could cope with just about any emergency surgery that couldn’t wait for the local hospital 20 minutes away. Where I’d been taken to was the non emergency centre. It was a large room with a doctors station in the middle. Fanning around it had private rooms in a large circle. The room wasn’t anything special, just a bed in the middle of the room.The glass was one way so you could only see out and no one could see in. Rollins and Rumlow both left the room as soon as I was put down on the bed. I could see Sam standing outside, now off his phone shooting nervous looks towards the entrance. While I was alone for a few minutes I quickly stripped off my jacket and sweater I had on underneath it. It was hot in this room. I’d melt if I left all my layers of clothes on.

It didn't take long for one of the doctor’s to come out. He was the one who’d looked at my ribs after the sniper took our car out in Germany. He had messy black hair and bright green eyes. Thats’s what I’d noticed the most about him. His eyes were nearly the same shade as Riley’s. What I’d noticed the most about him last time was he barely looked older than I was. He definitely looked far too young to be a trained doctor.

“Ouch,” were his first words as he took one look at my leg. He was close enough that I could read his ID clipped to his belt. Max, such a simple name that I couldn’t remember. I was so bad with names. “Ok Agent Lyngley, I hope you aren’t too fond of those jeans.”

“Not really,” I grimaced as I looked down at my leg again. I’d taken most of the skin off from mid thigh to mid calf on the outside of my leg. Even through the dried blood I could see bits of road stuck in it, along with some fibres left from my jeans. This wasn’t going to be fun to get clean. 

“So,” Max began as he pulled reached over to the trolley which held medical supplies near the bed. “I’m not a great seamstress, but I can make those jeans into some pretty hot shorts. Sound good?”

“Sure,” I gave him a weak grin.

He quickly cut away what was left of my jeans and then gently pried what was stuck to the edges of my leg off. That was enough to make me grip the edge of the bed, my knuckles turning white from gripping so hard. 

“Sorry,” Max flashed me a small smile. “It sucks, I know. Do you want the bandaid approach instead?”

“Please,” I gritted my teeth knowing what was about to come. The last time I did this I was in my teens and had come off the quad bike. It’d been my poor Dad was who was very squeamish about injuries having to rip the jeans off my leg and patch me up. 

“I’ll count to 5, ok?” Max looked up at me waiting for confirmation. I gave him a tight nod and looked up to the ceiling. “Alright, 1, 2.”

I didn’t get a 3, 4 or 5. At 2 Max ripped the rest of my jeans clean off my leg. I couldn’t stop the tears leaking out. But I did manage to muster enough energy to cover the yelp that was going to escape. In his efficacy Max didn’t falter. He just threw the now ruined fabric on the ground and gently wiped away the new blood that started to leak from the edges.

“So what I’m going to do,” Max looked back up at me without any hint of apology on his face. “Is get in there and scrub that wound out because its full of debris. I’ll numb your entire leg so I’m not giving you about 20 local injections. Sound good?”

“Yeah best way to spend the afternoon,” I said sarcastically to cover my discomfort. Dammit, why couldn’t I ever do something simple? It was so typical of me to get road rash this bad that I needed minor surgery to clean it up. 

“Fantastic,” Max smiled brightly and gave me a wink. “Now all we need is a beer and we’re both set. Throw on a hockey game, couldn’t think of anything better than digging gravel out of a sexy leg while having a beer and watching hockey.”

I laughed weakly as his poor attempt at flirting. His humour was very appreciated though. I had this horrible feeling Riley wasn’t going to be too happy about this. I didn’t need to be able to see into the future to know that this would probably cause an argument about me not taking his car this morning. The way Sam was now pacing the hallway wasn’t giving me much hope either. I may as well enjoy the light mood from someone while it lasted. 

Max got up and left the room to get whatever he needed for my leg. Just as the door closed to the room, Rollins slipped in. I raised an eyebrow in question at him as we both stared at each other uncomfortably. 

“I’m really sorry I hit you,” Rollins spoke first. “I was fiddling with the radio and not paying attention.”

“Neither was I,” I admitted shifting trying to get more comfortable. It only ended in me staying in the same position after shooting pains down my leg kept me put. “Its fine, you didn’t hit me on purpose.”

“No, but still it doesn’t look great after all the shit I gave you when you first joined,” Rollins cleared his throat. “Which I’m also sorry about.”

That caused both my eyebrows to raise in surprise. It wasn’t what I was expecting at all. I wasn’t one to hold onto a grudge forever. I’d let his shitty attitude and bad behaviour go as soon as I was assigned to Clint and Natasha. As fucked as his reasons were for not liking me, I didn’t let it get to me. As soon as I wasn’t training with him any longer it didn’t have an impact on my life. What was the point of going through and hating someone forever? I’d barely seen him besides the occasional passing in the locker room or the halls. We both ignored each other and that was fine with me. He was STRIKE Team Echo which I had very little to do with. 

“It was immature and idiotic, not to mention unprofessional of me to act the way I did,” Rollins kept talking when I didn’t answer. “You ended up accomplishing something no one else has ever done even with me being a complete jerk.”

“Its fine,” I gave him a small smile as I repeated myself. “Yeah it sucked at the time, but I let it go as soon as I got handed over to Clint and Nat. They keep me too busy to have the energy to hold onto a grudge.”

The smallest smile slipped onto Rollins face at my honest confession. It was a definite change from the serious guy who I don’t think ever wore any other expression. His default expression seemed to be set to a constant resting bitch face. 

The door swung open making us both jump in surprise. A second later a furious looking Riley stormed in with Sam hot on his heels. Riley looked ready to murder somebody. He was too fast for Rollins to get out of the way. Even too fast for Sam tog ran his arm and stop the punch he swung at him. Riley’s fist connected with a sickening smack across Rollins’ jaw. It was enough force to make Rollins spin around and it was only the wall that saved him from falling on the ground.

“Riley!” Sam grabbed his arm and yanked him back a few steps. It didn’t simper Riley’s temper at all. I’d never seen Riley so pissed off in all our time together. His face was drawn in a heavy scowl and his fists were white from being clenched so tight.

“If you ever come near my girlfriend again I will fucking kill you,” Riley seethed as he pointed at Rollins. “There won’t even be enough left of you to identify. I’m sure Romanoff still hates you enough to help me.”

To my surprise and horror, Rollins laughed as he pushed himself away from the wall. His mouth was bleeding from where his lip had split. He casually wiped it away with the back of his hand and just stared down at Riley. Rollins was a big guy. I had no doubt he’d do some damage if he decided to take a swing at Riley. 

“I was in here apologising you fucking asshole,” Rollins shook his head. I don’t know if it was in amusement or just sheer disbelief. “But if you want it to be like that, first hit was free pretty boy. Take another swing and see how lucky you get.”

Riley wrenched himself from Sam’s grip and nearly made it to Rollins. Through watching the scene unfold before my eyes with growing horror, I didn’t see Rumlow or Coulson come running in. Both were at Riley before he could get close enough for another swing. It took all 3 of them to pull him away far enough so he couldn’t hit him again. All three of them were speaking so rapidly to Riley I couldn’t make out what was being said. They managed to push Riley out of the door and kick it shut again. I couldn’t hear what was being said but I could see Riley was yelling at both Rumlow and Sam. If only Clint was here so he could read lips and tell me what was being said. Whatever it was, it didn’t look like it was going to end well for Riley. Coulson quickly cut into the conversation and with only a few words, Riley stormed back out of sight. Rumlow put his hands on his head and let out an obvious big sigh of relief watching my boyfriends retreating back. Sam hesitated for another few seconds before quickly walking off in the same direction as Riley had left. 

Could this day really get any worse?

“Sorry again,” Rollins quickly slipped out the door before I could apologise for Riley’s behaviour. I just stared at his quickly retreated back completely lost for words. Never in my wildest dreams did I think Riley would lose his shit like that. He didn’t even give Rollins or me a chance to explain what happened. My thoughts were quickly interrupted by Max stepping back into the room, pushing a small trolley. I eyed off the amount of supplies he had sitting on it. Yep, I had to ask didn’t I. Today really could get worse judging by the what he was about to do. 

“Remind me never to flirt with you again if your boyfriend is within a 20 miles radius,” Max joked as he came to stand beside my bed. “Ok, lets get you on your side and get this started.”

It took an hour and a half to get everything out of my leg. Despite the initial injections to numb my leg hurting like hell, there wasn’t much else to do except stare through the window. Or occasionally look down as Max would pull an impressive size piece of gravel out of the wound. Coulson had pulled up a chair outside the room and hadn’t left the entire time. Staring at the back of his head got boring very quickly. Rumlow came and went a few times after a brief conversation with Coulson. Neither Sam nor Riley made an appearance the entire time. Once I was bored I quickly got angry with Riley and his reaction about this. If he had just taken 2 seconds to listen to what happened there was no need for him losing his shit. There wasn’t even any need to come in here and punch Rollins either. There was overprotective and being a dick. Today he proved to me he could really be a typical Black Ops dickhead and get worked up over nothing. 

Max finished doing the last bandage on my leg and threw all the rest of the supplies on the trolley with the promise to bring back some more painkillers. Just as he left Coulson grabbed the door and came in. He gave me a wry smile and a sympathetic look.

“Ouch.”

The simple statement made me laugh shortly. Ouch really did cover it well. 

“Next time it's snowing and icy I might ask for a lift,” I winched as I rolled back onto my back. The feeling was slowly returning in my leg and I wasn’t liking it at all. I opened my mouth to ask where Riley was. But Coulson quickly beat me to it.

“He is in Evans office, probably still being yelled at,” Coulson filled in. “I have to say, I didn’t pick him for the type to lose his temper over this.”

“You and me both,” I admitted. “Can I trouble you for a lift home?”

Just as I asked Coulson that, Riley came striding down the hallway. Seeing my attention pulled away from him, Coulson glanced over his shoulder. 

“I think its best if you two talk about this,” Coulson’s gaze turned back towards me. “Piece of advice, don’t lose your temper with him. As angry as you might be, his feelings are justified too. Just not his actions or how he went about it.”

“Thanks Coulson,” I offered a small smile. He sounded like he was speaking from experience on this one. It would do me the world of good to listen to it. 

“Enjoy an extra long weekend,” although his tone was slightly teasing, I knew I was being given an order. Coulson didn’t give me a chance to reply as he quickly left the room just as Riley reached the door. They had a brief exchange before Coulson left. Riley stood at the door, with his hand on the handle and hesitated for a good 15 seconds before actually opening the door. He looked extremely cautious as he stepped into the room, offering me a tight smile.

“Ready to go?” Riley only moved into the room enough to actually shut the door. Despite Coulson’s words, my anger from earlier was making itself well known again. I could feel it welling up in my body. I wouldn’t be able to keep it squashed down for long. 

“As soon as my drugs arrive,” I said tightly crossing my arms in front of me. 

A look of irritation flashed across Riley’s face as we both stared each other down. Thankfully in less than a minute Max was stepping back through the door. Much to my dismay, he had a pair of crutches tucked under his arm. 

“They’re just to help you to the car,” Max rolled his eyes at me. He moved towards the bed and handed me a bottle of pills. “These will make you pretty drowsy so only use them when you need them. The pain should be manageable with just normal paracetamol, but these will help you sleep as well. Stay off it as much as possible. Come back in 2 days for a dressing change and we’ll go from there. You don’t need to use the crutches all the time, but the anaesthetic block wouldn’t have worn off completely yet and I’m sure you want to get home.”

Riley had gathered my jacket and helmet while Max was speaking. I shoved the bottle of painkillers in my pocket and wobbled to my feet with the help of the crutches. Max was standing there by my side but didn’t interfere unless I needed it. He stayed by my side until I made it out into the hallway and quickly said his goodbye. Riley was silent next to me as I hobbled unsteadily all the way to the elevator.

“I’ll bring the car up close so you don’t have to walk far,” Riley said quietly, not looking at me while he did as the elevator carried us downwards towards the garage. 

“Where’s my bike?” It hit me so suddenly that I had no idea what actually happened to my Kawasaki. 

“Barton came and picked it up,” Riley said shortly. “Its at his place. I’ll be back in a minute.”

The elevator reached the garage and Riley stepped out. I stared after him, my temper only growing by his snappy response. By the time Riley brought his car to me, I was fuming at his attitude. I can’t believe he acted so immaturely and rashly over something that was so minor. In our jobs we could be killed in an instant. Yet he cracks the shits over me coming off my bike by something that was just an accident. By the time I slammed the door shut I was ready to give him a piece of my mind. Sadly he beat me to it.

“I’m buying you a car,” Riley’s jaw was tight as he stared ahead shifting the car into gear. “And you’re not going to argue about it and you’ll damn well take it when the weather is shitty.”

“Oh really?” I couldn’t keep the sarcasm out of my voice as I scoffed at him. “And who died and made you king over all the decisions on my life?”

“Because you don’t seem to be capable enough to make a smart enough decision that when a fucking snow storm is going to hit you decide to take a motorbike to work,” Riley was quick to snap at me. “As if our job isn’t dangerous enough, you seem to perfectly fine with making stupid calls on your own safety.”

“You’re not buying me a car,” I said through gritted teeth. “And you don’t need to come storming in and throwing punches around when someone hurts me by accident. How fucking stupid can you be? All you had to do was ask what happened.”

My voice was growing louder with each word I spoke. Riley’s attitude was making me so angry. I’d been looking after myself for a long time without any help. I wasn’t about to let him waltz in and take over my life. 

“He hit your bike,” Riley argued back, his voice growing louder too. 

“It was an accident,” I couldn’t emphasise the word accident anymore if I even tried. “For fuck sake Riley. I don’t need you to be my knight in shining armour and come and rescue me every time something happens.”

“He should have been paying attention,” for the first time since we started the conversation Riley glanced over at me. He looked just as angry as I felt. But for the first time I’d ever seen, he actually looked scared. Not just worried, but scared at what might have happened. My anger melted slightly. 

“And I should have too,” I rolled my eyes with a huff of frustration. “I was too damn wrapped up in the conversation with Rhodey today….”

“What?” Riley frowned at me.

I shut my still open mouth with an audible snap. Shit I hadn’t meant for that to slip out right now. I wasn’t even sure when I was going to bring that conversation up. Or if I was going to at all.

“I ran in the Colonel today,” I began begrudgingly. There was no escaping it now. “He asked me how my time in SHIELD had been treating me.”

Riley was silent. He just faced the front, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. A small indention appeared in his cheek from him obviously biting the inside of it. He looked like he was dying to throw questions at me about how it went. The anger from before had quickly vanished at my new revelation.

“And then he offered me a job in the 461st as a test pilot,” I started to pick at my nails at my discomfort in the sudden change in this conversation. “Gave me his business card and told me to ring him if I ever didn’t want to be in SHIELD.”

If I thought the silence was uncomfortable in the elevator, I was wrong. The silence that stretched between Riley and I now was even worse. His face was a blank mask, giving absolutely nothing away to his thoughts. It took Riley another long minute before he spoke again.

“Whats the 461st?” Riley asked quietly. 

“That is the Squadron which has been assigned the F-35’s,” I explained trying to keep my tone neutral. I was still a little bit angry, but nothing like before. “Its based at Edwards Air Base in California.”

“At least the weather is better down there,” Riley glanced over at me with the barest of smiles half tugging on his lips. “What did you say?”

“I said thank you,” I wasn’t ready to smile yet. “And his business card is still sitting in my locker.”

Riley blew out a long breath and gave a small shrug of his shoulders.

“If thats what you want, I won’t stop you,” Riley said quietly. “You’d pretty much have your old life back.”

“Not quite,” I tilted my head looking at Riley curiously. He looked so sad and defeated all of a sudden. Like my piece of news had just ruined his entire world. The look he had on his face made me feel like I’d just kicked a puppy. “I said to Coulson on the flight over there how happy I was in SHIELD right now.”

“But you worked so hard to become a fighter pilot,” Riley argued back weakly. It wasn’t hard to tell his heart definitely wasn't in this argument.

“And I’ve worked even harder to become part of STRIKE Team Delta,” I really wanted to stay mad at Riley. But he was making it impossible right now. “I have a new life that I’m pretty happy with too. A lot happier than I ever anticipated. Even if my boyfriend is an asshole when he wants to be.”

Riley let out a short laugh and shook his head at my terrible joke. 

“And I don’t need him to come to my rescue like I’m some damsel in distress,” I gently chided him now my anger had fizzled out. I reached over and took Riley’s hand that was resting on the gear stick. “If he’d done it on purpose I would have killed him myself. You, Natasha and Hawk would have to wait in line.”

“All I could think of was you lying in that bed seriously hurt,” Riley confessed as he squeezed my hand. “Our jobs are dangerous enough without you getting hurt outside of work.”

“But I’m fine, missing a few layers of skin but fine,” I squeezed his hand back. Well this conversation was taking a different turned than I thought out while I sat there earlier. “But if something did happen to me, I want you to move on with your life.”

I’d be wanting to have this conversation ever since Grams brought it up at Thanksgiving. There was just no way I could bring it up in casual conversation. It was such a heavy topic, but right now was the chance I was going to get. The sharp glance Riley threw at me made me quickly keep speaking.

“I’m being serious,” I hated those words but they needed to be said. “If I was killed in this job, or even if I went back to being a pilot and something happened. I’d want you to move on and be happy.”

“I don’t know if I could,” Riley looked vaguely sick at the notion behind those words. “God Kari, thats heavy. Have you thought about this a lot?”

“Grams brought it up,” I admitted. “It's not something you can exactly bring up over dinner. After yesterdays mission, it kind of gives me a pretty fresh perspective on it. You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about it?”

“I have thought about it,” Riley took a few seconds to reply. “I don’t like thinking about it, but I have.”

I raised an eyebrow waiting for him to continue. He took a few deep breaths as if to steady himself for what he was about to say.

“I’d want you to be happy,” Riley said quietly squeezing my hand hard. “I wouldn’t want you to mourn over me for the rest of your life. But I don’t think I could ever move on from something like that. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”

Those words were being spoken right from the bottom of Riley’s heart. It made a lump stick in my throat briefly at all the emotion weighing heavily behind them. 

“You want a family,” I started trying to soothe him.

“I want a life and family with you,” Riley interrupted. “Not with anyone else.”

“I want the same with you,” I gave Riley a small smile. “I just, fuck it, I needed to get this off my chest. I’m not saying this to upset you. I just want to make sure there’s nothing left unsaid between us if anything did happen.”

“I just don’t like thinking about it,” Riley had a sad smile on his face. “Kind of like I don’t like the thought of you moving to California without me. You know I can get a transfer to a SHIELD office there don’t you?”

Smooth change of subject there Riley. Very smooth. It’d been a stressful afternoon so I was happy to let it slide. It also made me happy that Riley would follow me without question. 

“I didn’t say yes to the job,” I pointed out. 

“You didn’t say no to it either,” Riley’s thumb started to run over the back of my hand. “I want you to be happy.”

“I’m happy here,” I said with a gentle smile. “Unless of course you plan on punching everyone who hurts me. Then I might get annoyed a lot more.”

“Funny,” Riley rolled his eyes at me. He started to look a little happier at my now joking tone. 

“How much trouble are you in?”

“A lot,” Riley grimaced. “I’ve been suspended from field duties and lumped with teaching the sniper class that comes through the week after next. And I have to apologise to Rollins.”

“There is a bright side to this,” the mention of the sniper class suddenly made an email I glanced at briefly this morning come to the front of my mind. The only reason I looked at it because it’d been CC’d to Clint as well. The sniper course was for new agents, and other agents to keep their sniper qualifications. Something I didn’t know actually existed. Attached was a note from Hill reminding Clint that this was not optional this year. In very angry shouting capitals.

“Whats that?” Riley asked.

“I have to take that sniper class,” as much as I tried to hide it, a grin started to spread on my face. “So does Barton to keep his sniper qualifications.”

Riley looked very torn between bursting out laughing and wanting to bash his head against the steering wheel for the amount of trouble that this was going to be. Thankfully he chose the former option. I joined in with him. What a roller coaster of a day. I was glad to be heading home in a much better mood than this car ride had started. Why did all our serious conversations seem to happen in this car?


	32. Chapter 32

I groggily stirred as something stirred underneath me. It took me a few goes to get my eyes open and reorientated to where I was. I was lying on my side, curled up beside Riley with my head resting on his chest. I was warm and comfortable. A quick glance over my shoulder saw the clock only reading 0201. I didn't have be up for another few hours.

“Did I wake you?” Riley’s quiet voice surprised me. 

“Didn’t know you were awake,” I buried myself into him as close as possible. It was cold and Riley made the perfect hot water bottle. I had my leg thrown over his and my left arm over his stomach. Riley’s fingers trailed down my back, almost absently. His fingers found my loose hair and he twirled the ends around his finger.

“I don’t think I’ve been to sleep,” Riley sounded exhausted. “I’m too nervous about tomorrow, well today now.”

“You have nothing to be nervous about,” I reassured him. “You’re going to be fine, and it's only for a week in the classroom. Then you’ll just be walking up and down the range bored for another week.”

Riley had never had to teach a class before. Having Clint there was only making him get even more nervous about it. It was his punishment for punching Rollins and he’d have to do it. Nothing would get him out of this. Evans admitted to me over dinner the other night that it’d been the lightest punishment he could get. Otherwise he’d be off field duty for months and have to jump through a lot of hoops to get back. SHIELD seemed to think that putting special ops agents in a teaching position was more than enough proof that they could handle themselves. It still didn’t help Riley’s nerves on doing this. 

“I have plenty to be nervous about,” Riley sighed heavily. “I don’t want to do this. But I don’t want to be sitting around for the next 3 months either.”

“Then next time you wont lose your temper,” I teased him. My own fingers found the muscle definition on his abs. I trailed the tip of my index finger down the middle of his stomach. Riley’s free hand reached down and covered mine stopping my exploring.

“Mean,” I tried to wiggle my hand free, but Riley’s grip held strong. “Come on, it’ll distract you.”

I reached up from my position and gently kissed his neck. My teeth nipped lightly at his skin, rewarding me with a sharp intake of breath. I grinned to myself as I went to suck at the skin to give him a hickey. Riley quickly pulled away before I could leave a proper mark with a barely muted snort of amusement. At least that would give all the students today something to whisper about. Riley and I had both been told, Coulson for me and Evans for Riley, that our relationship was to be completely professional for the next 2 weeks. I couldn’t be shown any favouritism at all by Riley. This meant for us to come in separately and make no show of us being in a relationship at all. It’d been sheer luck he’d gotten the course. The Agent who usually took it had been injured on a mission and Riley had been the perfect replacement. I was apparently already down to do the course before the change of instructors.

“What are the 4 basic principles of marksmanship?” I breathed against Riley’s neck as I trailed my lips against his skin again. I could feel goosebumps raising on his skin as my breath ghosted down his neck. 

“Aiming, breath control, trigger control and follow through,” Riley said automatically. He knew everything he had to cover over this week off by heart. It was only his own nerves getting in the way of him doing this. SEAL sniper school was 3 months of some of the most intense training you could go through. 12 hour plus days, 7 days a week. 2 weeks of teaching was a walk in the park compared to any of that. It was an unspoken rule as a SEAL that no one ever got ragged on for not making it through sniper school. It was brutal and intense. Not physically like BUDs, but there was a lot of mental pressure. Riley’s class had 36 when they started. Only 12 of them graduated.

“See, your first half of the lesson is covered already,” I quickly moved so I was straddling him. Even in the dark I could just make him out. His hands came to rest on my hips as I lent over him, resting my weight on my hands above his shoulders. I lazily moved my hips around, grinding against him. Even if his mind was saying no to sex. His cock definitely wasn’t. Riley never disappointed in that department. 

“Am I getting a say in this or are you just helping yourself?” Riley’s hand came to rest behind my neck. He pulled me down into a kiss quickly silencing the smart ass reply I was going to say. His fingers tangled through my hair as his lips were pressed to mine hard, his tongue teasing along mine. I guess any thought of no was long gone now.

And then Riley’s phone rang.

“Oh for fuck sake,” Riley broke away from me with an irritated growl. He reached over and snatched his phone off the bedside table.

“This better be really fucking important Evans,” Riley ground out as he answered the phone. I stifled back a giggle as Riley listened to whatever Evans wanted on the other end of the phone. I couldn’t hear what Evans was saying as it was too quiet. But the shitty look on his face was quickly wiped away.

“No its fine, I’ll be right over,” Riley gave me a gentle nudge as he started to shift underneath me. I took the hint and instantly got off him. “I wasn’t asleep anyway.”

The bedside light flicked on as Riley sat on the edge of the bed. I lay back down on his side, pulling the blankets up against the intrusion of the cold air. Riley didn’t feel the cold as much as I did. Something he liked to give me shit for all the time especially considering my powers. So we kept the heat turned to Riley’s comfortable temperature of a nighttime and I just wrapped myself around him all night. 

“Ha ha you’re so fucking hilarious Troy,” Riley snorted into the phone. “Do you want some sleep or not?”

Riley got up and pulled on a pair of boxers he’d left lying on the floor. I lay back against the pillows enjoying the sight of him wandering to the bathroom half naked. I wonder what kind of trouble Evans had gotten himself into? Abby had been sick for the last few days so I hoped nothing had gone wrong. But Riley didn’t sound too upset or stressed. So my guess was Alexi was being a little hell raiser about bed time. 

I curled up on my side, burying my face back into the pillow. Dammit, cock blocked again. Evans certainly had a knack for that. Even if it was unintentional. I planned on staying in bed until Clint came and picked me up at 0700. He was looking forward far too much to this course as soon as he found out Riley was teaching it. Apparently SHIELD made every marksmen take this course every 2 years as a refresher. The new recruits coming in from the Academy, or just becoming Agents could take it as an option as well. You had to do the refresher to be able to check the weapons out of the armoury. It was quite a bribe for people like Clint. He grumpily informed me that his bows were included in the no checking weapons out of the armoury rule until all courses were up to date. 

Natasha had been sent on a mission 2 days earlier, with Jared who looked very happy with his choice of partner. They were off to Belgium for 3 weeks tracking a person of interest. Jared’s brief stop over had been the only time I’d seen him since Christmas. Jared had fun poking my leg which I’d kicked him for. Laura had been changing the bandage for me instead of having to go up to medical to do it. She’d been slathering it with some green goop that I’m sure read veterinary use only on the label. It burnt and stung for a good minute after she applied it. But my leg was looking better. It was still scabbing over and hurt to move too much. Or if I sat for too long it’d feel stiff until I got moving again. But the pain had died down to an acceptable level. I could stand long enough to keep training with my archery. Sparring was still out of the question. But I’d taken the chance to focus on doing some more upper body strength work at the gym. 

Riley came back into the bedroom, off the phone now. Seeing me still awake he smiled lightly and came over and sat on the edge of the bed. He gently brushing the hairs that had fallen around my face back, lingering over my skin as he did. 

“Alexi won’t go to sleep,” Riley chuckled dryly. “Evans is a bit desperate for some sleep himself. Abby took some sleeping pills earlier and is passed out cold. Evans doesn't want to wake her after all the sleepless nights she's been having.”

Poor Abby. The flu had hit her really hard. She looked terrible when we’d dropped around the other day to play with Alexi. Even those few hours of respite we’d given while we took Alexi to the park hadn’t helped Abby much. At least we’d had the spare time to help out where we could. Clint brought Lila and Cooper out as well. So we all had a lot of fun playing in the few inches of snow that’d fallen. Alexi even liked Clint. She’d quite happily and willingly gone to him without a fuss. The adoring look Clint kept giving her made me think Laura was not going be to happy with being pestered for child number 3 again.

“Have fun,” I burrowed myself into the blankets further. As adorable as Alexi was, I wasn’t getting out of bed to help if she’d been up crying all night. 

“Don’t even think about taking your bike,” Riley scolded me lightly, although he was smiling. “I’ll see you in a few hours.”

Riley lent forward and bushed his lips against mine gently. I smiled under the tender kiss.

“Love you,” Riley said as he pulled back.

“Love you too,” My smile grew wider. “Be careful.”

“Always,” Riley kissed me again. “Go back to sleep.”

I didn’t need to be told twice. I was asleep before Riley had finished getting dressed. I didn’t wake up until my alarm started going off at 0630. I groggily I dragged myself into the bathroom pulling on a pair of underwear and a sports bra as I went. I left the toilet, absently scratching my stomach as I walked into the kitchen desperate for a coffee. 

“Wow, there’s oblivious and there’s Kari oblivious,” Clint’s voice made me whirl around in fright to face where his voice had come from. He was casually lounging on the couch, cup of coffee already in hand. I had to walk right past the couch to get to the kitchen. I have no idea how I missed him sitting there.

“Fuck Clint, what are you doing here this early?” I could feel a blush start to crawl up my neck realising the amount of clothing I wasn’t wearing. It wasn’t helped by Clint’s very obvious stare up and down my body either. “Stop gawking at me.”

I rubbed my arms crossing them over each other to cover my chest. It didn’t stop Clint who kept very openly staring just to annoy me. A smart little smirk crossed his face as his eyes finally landed on my flat stomach. 

“Thats the nice start of 6 pack there,” Clint smirk only grew as his eyes trailed down my legs. “Damn women, no wonder Riley is so protective of you.”

“Only a little bit,” I decided to ignore Clint’s perving. He was only doing it to rattle me. I moved into the kitchen making my coffee. It was times like this the open plan apartment was perfect. “Just you wait until I tell your wife you’re constantly checking my ass out.”

At the mention of Laura, a scowl appeared on Clint’s face. It was only fleeting but I didn’t miss it. I raised an eyebrow at Clint. He looked down to his coffee cup staring at the contents intently. I flicked the jug back on the boil the water again.

“So you’re here awfully early,” I turned and opened the cupboard above the kettle looking for the chocolate protein powder. It was my staple breakfast these days. “And looking very cranky when I mention Laura’s name.”

At the mention of his wife name again I heard Clint made a grumbling sound deep in his chest. I smiled to myself, knowing I’d hit the nail on the head. This was a first. I’d never heard Clint and Laura argue. Let alone it be bad enough that Clint was still shitty over it. I never thought Clint had the attention span to actually hold a grudge. 

“Where’s Riley?” Clint avoided the question.

“Alexi is being a little hell raiser and Evans' wife is sick,” I finally found the protein powder. I don’t know how it managed to get shoved to the back of the cupboard. “She sometimes goes to sleep for Riley so he went over there so Evans could get some sleep.”

“Cute,” if I was facing him I’m sure Clint was rolling his eyes. 

“And Riley isn’t that protective,” I started to scoop the powder into the blender. “Just because he punched Rollins doesn’t mean he's always like that.”

“Oh please,” Clint let out a short laugh. “You don’t hear the shit that goes on in the showers. One of the new guys on Charlie team made the mistake of commenting on how hot you were. Rumlow loves to stir him up about it too.”

“Whatever,” I went to the fridge and got the milk and peanut butter out. “It still doesn’t tell me why you’re here early and looking shitty.”

“Me and Laura had an argument,” Clint said begrudgingly. I glanced over my shoulder at him. Clint was still sitting in the same position as before. Elbows resting on his knees, staring down into his now nearly empty mug. He looked a little defeated with a flicker of sadness.

“That I guessed,” I poured the milk and added a generous spoonful of peanut butter. I flicked it on. The noise was deafening until I turned it off. The kettle boiled and turned itself off at the same time. The coffee smelt amazing as I poured the hot water over the instant granules. I took a moment to inhale the scent greedily. I loved my first morning coffee. 

“Don’t you guys fight?” Clint was back to deflecting. 

“Sometimes we have snaps, the only time we’ve really fought is when I came off my bike,” I added milk to my coffee. I didn’t bother with a glass for my protein drink. I just took the jug and my coffee over to the couch instead of dirtying a glass. I sat down next to Clint, balancing both of them.

Clint only gave me a grunt in response. I took pity on him and didn’t push. It wasn’t really any of my business what he and Laura fought about. If it was something really serious, I’m sure he’d open up about it. 

“You’re really going to sit there in your underwear?” Clint turned to look at me as I got settled. “After standing there blushing while I checked you out?”

“Yep,” I decided to be terribly obnoxious in return. I turned so I was sitting across the couch and put my bare legs across Clint’s lap. “What are you going to do about it?”

“This,” Clint trailed his fingers up the inside of my calf and straight up the inside of my thigh. I jerked away from his tickling fingers, landing a light kick in his side. Clint flinched at the bare foot in his side but laughed at my ticklish reaction. 

“Bully,” I straightened myself and resumed my previous position, stretched out across him. This time he left me alone to drink my coffee and protein drink in peace. We both sat in comfortable silence while I had my liquid breakfast. I was nearly finished by the time Clint spoke again.

“Go put some clothes on, you’re distracting me,” Clint slapped my thigh. It wasn’t hard but it was open handed enough to make a loud slapping noise. 

“You shouldn’t be looking,” I dug my heel into his thigh in return. “Maybe Riley will punch you next.”

“I would love to go a few rounds with Riley,” Clint chuckled. He was completely unfazed about my heel digging into his thing muscle. “He’d be a hell of a lot of fun to spar with.”

“I’ll tell him that.”

I drained the last of my coffee and protein shake in 2 separate swallows. I’d love to see Riley and Clint spar as well. From the little I’d ever seen of Riley spar he was quick and very brutal. He definitely didn’t hold back. I’d have to mention it to him and see if he’d be up for it. I might even quietly be going around and making a betting pool as well. I’m sure I wouldn’t be the only one who’d place a bet on sparring match like that. I got up and put my mug and the blender jug in the dishwasher. 

“Ready to go once I’m dressed?” I asked Clint. 

The look he gave me spoke more than words could. I really asked the stupidest questions sometimes. I did however not miss his eyes following me as I walked to the bedroom. I could see him in the reflection of the TV. 

“Stop staring at my ass,” I called back over my shoulder. 

“Not my fault it looks great,” Clint countered smartly.

I had no reply to that. I just pretended to ignore him, slamming the bedroom door behind me. Today was just going to be one of these days where it was easier to ignore Clint than to rise to his baiting. He’d been a pretty shocking tease the last week and a half. Even Riley hadn’t escaped from it when we went to his place for pizza night. Fortunately Riley gave back as good as he got. He was finally starting to relax around Clint to be able to joke with him. 

I was dressed and ready to go in 5 minutes. Clint was playing a game on his phone until I walked back out with clothes on this time. From what Riley told me the next week would be spent in the classroom. Then next week would be spent at the range putting it into practice with an overnight shoot and camp out towards the end of the week. For today I just threw on a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt with a STRIKE logo on the sleeve and SHIELD logo on the left chest. It was more than comfortable enough for sitting in a classroom all day. 

Clint was quiet on the drive to the Triskelion. Despite having coffee at my place Clint stopped to get another coffee. I decided to be nice and take one to Riley as well. He drank his coffee disgustingly strong. Always a double shot, black with only a small splash of milk thrown in. I’d picked up his coffee one morning by accident and nearly vomited at the taste. I loved strong coffee but what he drank was more like paint thinner. In return Riley had no idea how I could deal with my coffee so sweet and weak. 

We both headed straight to the classroom once we reached the Triskelion. Riley wasn’t there yet, but plenty of other agents were. I left his coffee sitting on the front desk for whenever he arrived. Much to my surprise I wasn’t the only female for once. There were 4 other female agents, already sitting at the desks that lined the room. The classroom was one of the ones right against the west side of the Triskelion. The windows overlooked the landing pad for the Quinjets. I was going to be thoroughly distracted watching them take off all day. Luckily for me I knew the teacher so he could fill me in if I didn’t pay attention. That thought brought a cheeky smile to my face. 

Clint and I took a seat right up the back. Notebooks and pens were already on the desks, giving us no excuses not to actually pay attention. Or take notes. Not that either of us needed to do that. Clint knew all of this. What he knew he’d been teaching me. This week would just be boring for him. More agents filtered in the room over the next 10 minutes while Clint and I conversed quietly between ourselves. It wasn’t until 2 minutes before the class was due to start Riley walked in. Sitting on his hip, bouncing along to his step was Alexi. She was wide awake and grinning up at Riley. Riley pulled a silly face at her bopping her on the nose. Alexi reached up with her chubby fists and grabbed at Riley’s fingers. He let her grab onto his fingers, grinning as she babbled up at him.

“Sorry everyone, we have a hanger on for this lesson,” Riley raised his voice over the dim noise of the room. He shrugged Alexi’s bag off his spare shoulder onto the ground. “If we can all get seated so we can get started.”

People that weren't already sitting scrambled to grab a table. Clint pushed his chair back, putting his feet up on the desk, lounging in his chair with his hands behind his head. I didn’t miss Riley’s eyes briefly flicking towards us. Or the barely concealed roll of his eyes as he looked at Clint’s position. 

“Oh my god these 2 weeks are going to be so good,” a female agent whispered. The small group of females were seated about 2 rows in front of Clint and I. That caused me to raise an eyebrow at the back of their heads.

“Lets hope he’s single,” another one of them giggled. 

I glared at the back of their heads. Like hell he was single. Just because Riley looked utterly adorable with Alexi in his arms didn’t mean they had to gawk. My glaring was interrupted by the door opening again. Nearly every single head swivelled around to see the late comer. To my surprise, Rumlow strode into the room looking very pleased with himself. He came and took the spare seat next to me. I glanced back to Riley who was suddenly looking like he wanted to be anywhere but here right now. Alexi interrupted by letting out a loud squeal as her eyes landed on me. Riley quickly shushed her. She just grinned up at him babbling in response while pointing to me. Riley quietly sighed under his breath and sat down on the desk at the front of the room. Alexi continued to babble up at him to keep his attention. It was very adorable. 

“Please go and get her, I’m feeling clucky,” Clint muttered under his breath very quietly in Russian. “And save those women from their ovaries exploding from the cuteness overload of your boyfriend being maternal.”

I covered my mouth to hide my amusement. But I didn’t move. While Alexi liked me enough to go to me most of the time. There’d been a few times that she wasn’t so keen and made a big fuss until I handed her back to Riley. On the little sleep she probably had, now wasn’t a good time to test those boundaries. 

“For those who don’t know me,” the room fell completely silent as Riley started to speak. “I’m Agent Riley Hunterton. I’m the marksman on STRIKE Team Bravo. This little madam is Alexi Evans, she’s my STRIKE leaders daughter and my god daughter. Unfortunately she decided that sleeping was optional for the last few nights so I’m helping Evans and his wife get some sleep.”

A quiet laugh rippled through the room as Riley introduced Alexi. Riley gave Alexi a little bounce which made her giggle and smile up at him. She then pointed to me again, babbling like mad. A few heads turned curiously to see who she was pointing at.

“Fine, if you don’t get her I will,” Clint pushed his chair back and stood up. He ignored all the stares as he walked down to the front of the classroom. Much to my surprise, Alexi instantly held her arms out to be picked up by Clint. My ego deflated slightly. Ok, she wasn’t just pointing for me. Apparently Clint was a new favourite now too. Clint looked so damn proud of himself as he walked back to his seat with Alexi in his arms. Seemingly content, Alexi rested her head against Clint’s chest, her eyes fluttering as she tried to stay awake. By the time Clint settled back into his chair, Alexi had fallen asleep. 

“Thanks Barton,” Riley looked relieved and nervous all at the same time. His little shield had gone and now it was just him sitting up there on the desk in front of everyone. “So I’ll tell everyone a bit about myself, then we’ll go around and get names and a brief introduction from everyone. As I said before, I’m the marksman on STRIKE Team Bravo. Before I joined SHIELD, I was a SEAL and one of the leading snipers in the Navy.”

“What team were you?” one of the female agents interrupted him.

“6, Golden Knights,” Riley gave a small shrug. There were some impressed mummers go through the room. “I’ve been in SHIELD 5 years now. Enough about me, lets start with you.”

Riley pointed at the Agent in the front row closest to the window. The agent had only been half paying attention and jumped when Riley called on him first. As he started to speak I quickly tuned out to the droning of the voices. Introductions were always boring and pointless for me. I never remembered names anyway. The only time I actually paid attention was to scowl at the back of the female agents heads was they fawned over Riley for their introductions. Poor Riley just looked embarrassed at their obvious flirting. Even from the back of the room I could see his ears turning bright red. A sure sign he was embarrassed. It wasn’t helped by both Clint and Rumlow snickering on either side of me. 

It didn’t take long for Rumlow’s turn. 

“Brock Rumlow,” Rumlow started, shifting so his feet went on the table and he stretched out much like Clint before. “STRIKE Team Alpha leader. I’m just here to watch Hunterton squirm for being in trouble.”

A few other people in the room covered their laughs politely. Some openly chuckled at Rumlow’s bold statement. The rest just shot confused looks back to Rumlow.

“Oh Rumlow, just you wait until I get you on the range next week then we’ll see who squirms,” Riley scowled. His eyes then fell on me and I could see the plead across his face very clearly. It was one for me to be nice and not make a scene.

“Kari Lyngley,” I would play nice. Especially because I wanted to finish what I started this morning. “One third of STRIKE Team Delta.”

It still amused me about people’s reactions when I said I was part of STRIKE Team Delta. A few agents didn’t move, all used to me and who I was by now. But the new agents or those just finished at the Academy still swivelled around to stare at me. I just crossed my arms in front of my chest and smirked at the faces looking at me. 

“Hawkeye,” Clint didn’t even bother with his name. “The second third of STRIKE Team Delta.”

Short, sweet and very to the point was Clint. Like he needed to introduce himself anyway. If I thought I’d gotten some stares before. It was nothing compared to the faces of the newer agents seeing the legendary Hawkeye sitting in the same room. The 4 female agents suddenly didn’t know who to stare at now. Riley or Clint. Though the brunette female agent sitting on the left couldn’t seem to take her eyes off Rumlow. I didn’t miss the small wink he sent her either. 

“Thanks everyone,” Riley grabbed a remote that was sitting next to him. “Someone get the lights please? There’s a lot to get through so lets get stuck into it.”

Rumlow jumped from his seat and switched the lights off. The projector came to life with the power point presentation Riley had furiously been working on for the last week and a half. SHIELD had its own teaching materials but Riley wanted to do it with his own. He really had worked really hard to put this all together in such a short amount of time. I’d briefly flicking through it doing a proofread for Riley. He didn’t miss much out, even for the short space of time he had to teach.

“Right the 4 basic principles of marksmanship,” Riley flicked onto the first slideshow. I settled back down in the chair and picked the pen up,

I thought I’d be bored out of my mind while doing the theory part of the day. But Riley’s teaching style far exceeded my expectations. While I knew the content of what he was teaching. Riley kept it interesting and fun. Injecting his own little stories and ways of remembering things from his SEAL days. Even Clint had stayed interested, making notes which surprised me. Alexi only woke up once and then went back to sleep almost instantly. She looked so tired. I had no doubts she hadn’t actually been to sleep properly in days. Evans dropped in just before our scheduled lunch break to pick her up. Thankfully she only briefly stirred with a small grumble but went back to sleep as soon as Riley kissed her goodbye. I was going to throw a pen at the blonde female Agent who was sitting in the middle of their group. She was the loudest one about her obvious attraction to Riley. I started to aim but Clint quickly grabbed it off me before I could throw it. Rumlow ended up with his head buried in his arms on the desk to stop himself laughing. 

Lunch was spent in the cafeteria of the Triskelion. It was only a 45 minute break so there wasn’t much point trying to go elsewhere for it. Clint, Rumlow, Riley and I all found a table together in a quiet corner. We’d only just sat down at the large round table when we were interrupted. The 4 female agents spotted us and all made a beeline for us.

“Do you mind if we sit with you?” the blonde who’d been openly flirting with Riley asked in an excited rush. 

I minded. I opened my mouth to tell them to fuck off. But Rumlow beat me.

“Of course you can sit with us,” he flashed a charming smile. “Always room for more people.”

Rumlow shuffled around the table to make more room for the extra bodies. I scowled at him and he only shot me a knowing smirk in response. Asshole. He just wanted to flirt with the skinny brunette who’d plonked herself right next to him. I was sitting between Clint and Riley, so I got squished between their muscly bodies. Something I’m sure one of the other females would appreciate more than me. The flirty blonde made sure she was sitting next to Riley. 

“I’m really enjoying this course so far,” she fluttered her eyelashes at Riley. “Do you mind if I pick your brain Agent Hunterton?”

Next to me Clint looked like he was having a hard time swallowing the large mouthful of chicken and rice he’d just shoved in his mouth. I elbowed him in the ribs. Hard. He forced the mouthful down with a small cough to cover his laugh. I glared at him hoping he’d keep his mouth shut.

“Are you not following everything Agent Brown?” Riley instantly had his attention turned to her. I inwardly sighed and wanted to reach over to smack him. Or kiss him. Part of me really wanted to mark my territory despite the warning of having to be professional. But I also knew Riley was really worried he was missing pieces of information in everything he was trying to cram in. I’d followed everything just fine. But it didn’t mean everyone else did either.

“You can call me Kiley,” Agent Brown smiled. “I think I am, but theres so much to take in.”

“How about Brown Nose?” I muttered in Icelandic. I quickly shoved a mouthful of my own chicken in my mouth to cover my jealous snipe. Clint looked at me curiously for a second before tapping his watch band and then his nose in quick succession. It took me a few seconds to process what he just did. His wristband on his watch was brown. It was well picked up by him. Clint had picked up some very, very basic words and a few curses in Icelandic from Jared and I. I didn’t think he’d actually recognise any words from what I said. I just nodded in confirmation making Clint smile in response. He looked very pleased with himself. 

Kiley launched a few questions at Riley, making his full attention stay on her while we ate. Rumlow was flirting with the brunette, while the other brunette and darker blonde only occasionally chipped into the conversation. Clint and I mostly stayed silent. Well, more me than Clint. He was helping Riley when he got stuck explaining something to Kiley. I mostly just stabbed my chicken with a lot more force than necessary. Although Kiley was very flirty, Riley remained professional and cool the entire time. Any time Kiley would ‘accidentally’ brush up his leg with hers, he moved closer to me. Clint would then me a tease and move in closer too. I was so squished by the time lunch had finished I could barely move. Clint was silently laughing the entire time as well. Despite my none to subtle jabs in his ribs, he wouldn’t move away from me. I paid him back on the walk back to the classroom. Clint and I lagged a few feet behind the small lunch group we’d acquired. As soon as no one was paying attention I made a ball of ice and shoved it down the back of Clint’s jeans. The very undignified yelp and funky shenanigans he had to do to get it out was worth whatever payback I was going to get from it. 

The rest of the week continued much of the same. Kiley was all over Riley, flirting with him at every chance she could get. Riley was professional with her the entire time. While I trusted Riley impeccably that he was just helping her out. It still didn’t stop the green eyed monster from rearing its ugly head. A lot. It wasn’t helped by the fact that Kiley was gorgeous. Slender, with curves in the right places. Perfectly maintained blonde hair with a strand never out of place, manicured nails and always dressed nicely. She’d just graduated from the Academy as a Specialist. I was jealous enough that I was probably going to turn green by the end of the week. I was never so grateful for the weekend. 

Riley surprised me with an amazing night out on Saturday. We had dinner at a very fancy place called Marcel’s. The food was absolutely exquisite. Nothing like I ever had before. 7 courses of French fine dining filled both our massive appetites up. Riley even persuaded me to try the caviar course. After the early dinner, we headed to the Kennedy Centre for The Lion King musical. It just made the night magical. It was so nice to have an evening out just to ourselves. We spent so much time with both our teams, sometimes we forgot just to enjoy each others company. Sunday night was spent at a Capitols versus Rangers game with just us again. I think I embarrassed Riley by how loud I could actually be at a game. But it was a lot of fun to be completely wound down and relaxed before another big week at work.

Monday morning came far too quickly. We had to be at the Triskelion at 0500 to get on the bus to go to the range. It wasn’t the range I originally met Clint on, but another one specifically used for more specialised weapons. The long distance range was meant to be one of the best in the country. It was nearly a 2 hour drive there and back, hence the very early morning start. On Wednesday we’d stay there and not be picked up until Friday afternoon for the night shoot and counter sniper tactics. That part I was looking forward to. It was essentially one big game of paintball with sniper rifles.

Clint and I sat together on the bus. He was asleep slumped against me within 2 minutes of the bus pulling out. Riley was sitting a few seats ahead of me flicking through his iPad of what he wanted to get through today. Today was simple enough. Everyone got a standard issue M24 much to my disgust. I really wanted my AWSM which I’d gotten so comfortable using. No amount of pleading or bribery would help me with getting it. We’d start at the 200 yard range. Then move onto drills in the afternoon. Tomorrow would be doing further and further targets. Plus cold bore shots and a few other things to get through. I was nearly asleep when a conversation with my name in it instantly made me start listening to the hushed voices sitting in front of me.

“I always thought Hawkeye was with Black Widow,” Kiley’s whispered voice was barely distinguishable. “I guess not seeing those two snuggled up together. They barely leave each others side.”

“Brock said they’re just friends,” the other voice was the brunette agent Rumlow had finally asked out. It was only because of him I actually remembered her name. Vanessa and Kiley always seemed to be together as well. The other 2 female agents had gradually drifted away from them during the week. “Did you know that Jared Lyngley is her twin brother?”

Here we go. I wonder if Jared had slept with either of them. Or they were still in the stages of fawning over him and hoping they might get lucky. I really hated to admit that my brother was hot. 

“Really?” Kiley sounded completely surprised. “Does that make her a mutant too?”

“I think so,” the seat creaked as I assumed Vanessa gave a shrug. “I don’t think she teleports though. I heard from one of the other guys on the course that Kari is nearly as good as shot as Hawkeye. Maybe thats her power or something.”

“Or maybe Hawkeye just gives her lots of extra practice,” Kiley giggled quietly. “Then again, I wouldn’t say no to fucking him either. But she seems to have him so wrapped around her finger Hawkeye barely speaks to anyone else.”

I mentally rolled my eyes at this conversation. Clint didn’t speak to anyone else because he generally didn’t like most people enough to have a conversation with them. He was polite enough to answer questions and that was about it.

“Are you having any luck with Riley?” Vanessa asked with a hint of excitement in her voice. 

“No,” Kiley huffed in annoyance. “I heard he has a girlfriend, but he hasn’t said anything about it. If he did, then obviously he isn’t happy because he's always theres helping me out.”

It took a lot of effort for me to keep a straight face and not move. As much as I wanted to jump up and smack her across the face for her stupidity, I wanted to hear where this conversation was going as well. Riley was just too polite to actually tell her to fuck off. He even said to me over the weekend he was just so embarrassed at her bold flirting he got tongue tied. It was so easy for me to forget how shy Riley actually was around other people. It only helped tame my green eyed monster a little bit. Besides, she wasn’t doing that well on this course. I could see by the frustration in her face a lot of the time she actually really wasn’t getting it at all. Riley really wanted everyone to pass this. So he helped her out as much as possible. 

“Maybe he just needs a push,” Vanessa smothered back a giggle rather unsuccessfully. “Just wait until everyone leaves and then kiss him.”

“Maybe I will,” Kiley sounded very sure of herself. “How was your weekend with Brock?”

Ugh. I tuned out instantly. I’d already heard Rumlow bragging about his weekend on the walk from the garage. Vanessa had no problems in throwing herself at him after their dinner on Friday night. She’d only left last night because she had no clothes ready for today. Although he was acting all tough about it and being a typical guy bragging about all the sex he was getting. It actually sounded like he really liked Vanessa. He might have a tough guy exterior, but Rumlow could actually be a really nice guy. If he wasn’t such a slut he would be a nice catch for someone. 

I drifted in and out of sleep during the entire ride. Riley and I had stayed up far too late for the early start we had. My legs were still sore this morning from the bedroom work out we did last night. I had more than my fair share of bite marks and hickeys spread over my body. Riley had made the rule about no obvious marks while he was teaching. So I was more than happy to put them where no one else would see them. Clint had offered to drive us both in, since he had to drive past the street on the way to work anyway. Personally I think Clint just wanted to pick Riley’s brain a bit on what we were doing today. He’d been kept interested the entire week with Riley’s teaching. There’d been minimal smart ass remarks and Clint had actually been helpful in giving proper answers. 

The bus dropped us off at the covered picnic area. There was at least a kitchen and real toilets here. Although unstaffed, it’d been well supplied for our week out here. Everyone made a beeline for coffee and food. Or straight to the toilet after the long drive. I was dying for another coffee. 2 hours was far too long between caffeine hits at this early hour. Once we were all fed and had coffee, the group made their way to the closest range. All the M24’s were already lined up waiting for all of us. There were only enough rifles for half of us. We’d change between being the shooter and spotter throughout the day. Today was just getting us used to shooting the weapons, getting used to using a normal scope. Not the advanced ones STRIKE used which manually read all information back to you. Clint and I paired off as usual. I let him have first go at shooting. I settled beside him with a spotting scope, already bored. 

“Can I trust you two without supervision for more than 5 minutes?” Riley’s voice loomed over us. Clint and I looked up with near identical smug expressions. Riley sighed heavily in mock defeat and walked away. Clint already had his first shot lined up as soon as Riley gave the all clear to fire. Clint squeezed the trigger and didn’t disappoint. The shot hit a dead centre head shot. Perfect kill. You couldn’t get anymore accurate than that. As I knew it would. Clint didn’t even have to wait for me to give him calculations. He got off another 4 shots and emptied the magazine before most people had even done their first one. Each bullet went through the first hole he’d made on the first shot. 

“Show off,” I muttered giving him a kick. “My turn.”

Clint and I kept doing this all morning. By the end of it we’d shot a smiley face into the target which just made Riley shake his head when he looked at it. We were both bored out of our minds but knew this was necessary. At least tomorrow would be a lot more fun. 

Clint and I had switched again. Just as I settled down behind the rifle, I glanced over to where I’d seen Riley last. I stopped as I saw him laying down beside Kiley, half covering her body as he guided her into the shot. I scowled heavily at the sight.

“Green does not suit you Kari,” Clint gave me a shove. 

The movement put me off balance and I fell onto the ground. I winced as I hit my still healing leg before righting myself into the correct position. I reloaded the M24 ignoring Clint’s stare.

“I’m not jealous,” I snapped. Then I cringed. Yep I came across as very defensive. Clint had been watching the situation very carefully all week. He hadn’t commented on it yet. But I could see him dying to either tease me for it. Or step in and smack me for my own stupidity. 

“I’m not jealous,” Clint mimicked my tone perfectly with a sassy roll of his eyes. “No, not at all. I just want to swing my gun around and shoot the person flirting with my boyfriend.”

“Shut up,” I grumbled as I fiddled with the dial. A light wind had picked up so I needed to adjust my position slightly. 

“You have absolutely nothing to be jealous about,” Clint turned to look through the spotters scope. “Stop being stupid.”

“Your face is stupid,” I shot back. I had nothing else to say at all. I knew I was being really stupid about this. But the conversation I overheard on the bus made the jealously come back in full swing. 

“Your face is stupider,” Clint smirked but didn’t move his position.

“Your face is the stupidest.”  
 The inner 5 year old in us was in full swing today. It was amazing what boredom could bring out. 

“Shoot her target,” Clint was finally being helpful. “Then see the look your boyfriend gives you. She might get the hint then.”

I turned away and looked to our target. We’d really shot at it far too much this morning. I wanted to be able to move to the 1000 yard targets and actually do some real sniper shooter. This shooting at 200 yards was bullshit. At least this afternoon we were going to be doing some drills. Standing, sitting, standing to sitting rapid, prone slow fire and standing to prone rapid fire. I was looking forward to that. 

“Go on,” Clint encouraged me. “It’ll be fun.”

I didn’t need much more encouragement. I swung the M24 around and lined up Kiley’s target. It only took a minor adjustment and I squeezed the trigger. I got a kill head shot in. Just not quite the dead centre forehead shot I wanted. Both Kiley and Riley’s head snapped over to look where the shot had come from. I smiled sweetly and gave a small salute. Riley’s middle finger being raised at me was the response I got. Kiley seemed to be torn between looking very impressed at my shot, or really embarrassed that I’d just done it. Her and Vanessa were together and both were struggling to actually hit their target all morning.

“Funny Kari, fucking hilarious,” Riley raised his voice. “Stop laughing Barton.”

Beside me Clint was shaking in silent laughter. His head was buried in his arms so I couldn’t see his face. 

“Ok, we’re breaking for lunch,” Riley just shook his head. “Lets have an hour and then we’ll move onto drills. Magazines out, you all know the drill.”

At the promise of an early and longer lunch. It didn’t take long to get the range cleared and everyone heading back to the undercover area. As usual I hung back with Clint who rapidly texting with a small frown on his face. I never did find out what he and Laura were fighting about. But things were still a little tense in the Barton household the few times I’d dropped over there the last week. So we were the last ones to make it back to the kitchen. SHIELD had supplied a lot of food, everything for sandwiches, enough grilled meat already cooked to satisfy us carnivores and high protein diet freaks. Along with plenty of dried food and cans in case someone could actually be bothered to make a batch of pasta. I was boring and went for sandwiches. At least I couldn’t burn the kitchen down by making sandwiches. Though I did eye off the macaroni and cheese I spotted in the cupboard. I was almost tempted to get Clint to make it for me. But my starving body demanded food now. My stomach simply couldn’t be silenced enough for 5 minutes to wait for it to cook. So I stacked my sandwiches and sat down with Clint who had the exact same food as me. Just as my ass hit the seat, I felt a familiar pair of hands come down on my shoulders.

“If you do that again,” Riley bent down and whispered quietly in Russian. “I’m going to spank you so fucking hard you won’t sit down for the rest of the week comfortably.”

Clint choked on the mouthful of sandwich he’d just taken a huge bite out of. He covered his mouth as he started coughing, turning bright red in the face. Riley gave him a rather unsympathetic and not too gentle thump on the back. Without another word Riley left, leaving us both sitting there. Me feeling a little dumbfounded and turned on by the whispered threat. Clint now wheezing to try and get himself back under control. As soon as he could breath again he opened his mouth.

“Don’t even say it,” I cut him off instantly. 

Clint’s mouth clicked shut though the smirk on his face didn’t die down. I inwardly sighed. I wouldn’t be hearing the end of it about that comment all afternoon now. Possibly the entire week now. I knew better than to expect anything less from Clint. He’d been far too well behaved last week to have it continue into this week. At least it’d break up the monotony until we got to the really fun stuff.


	33. Chapter 33

“So this morning we’re going to be running through cold bore shots,” Riley said as we all huddled under the covered area in the brisk pre-dawn light. “This is about as real as it gets in the real world. You don’t have the luxury of waiting for the rifle to warm up. Its one shot or you’re dead. Marking to pass starts now and this is one pretty big chunk of your marks to pass. Kill zone gets a 10, if you’re within the human body you get an 8, miss the silhouette but still hit the target is a 7. And if you don’t hit anything you’re on a zero.”

A lot of people were grumbling around me. But I ignored it. This wasn’t going raise my stress levels at all. I was more than comfortable at doing a 400 yard shot with a cold rifle. Even if I didn’t really like the M24. I could still manage this in my sleep. I smugly informed Riley last night of it too that I expected to pass with no less than 95 out of 100 for this course. The evil twinkle in his eye made me realise that bragging probably wasn't the best thing to do. 

“You’ve got,” Riley paused to look at his watch. “30 minutes to finish your coffee and do whatever you need to do before we step onto the range. We’ll do it in groups of 4. Go get yourselves ready. Kari you can come here before you disappear.”

The group dispersed quickly. Riley and I were left alone, no one else within earshot. It's amazing how quickly people disappeared when their coffee time was threatened.

“I know I’m not allowed to play favourites,” Riley looked a little smug and sheepish at the same time. “But I got this from the armoury for you.”

Riley took a step to the side. Behind his legs, hidden in the grey morning light was a weapons case. I could just make out the silver stars and my name I’d drawn all over it one day while I was bored. It was my AWSM.

“I could kiss you right now,” I grinned in excitement. “These next few days are going to go so slow.”

It was Wednesday morning. We wouldn’t be heading back to the Triskelion until Friday afternoon now. It was nearly 3 days of not being able to touch Riley. But having him right there all the time. It was going to be torture. With the long days we’d already done this week, Riley and I had both been too tired to do anything more than fall asleep as soon as we got home. Well, I was always in bed first. Riley would follow me not long afterwards. I don’t know what was wrong with me at the moment. I seemed to be needing a lot more sleep than normal. SHIELD had provided us with 4 man tents to camp out in for the next few days. So there wasn’t going to be any privacy to even sneak in together. It still left me with the question of who I was going to bunk in with. The other 4 female agents would all be together. It would leave me in a mixed tent. Something I was still having problems wrapping my head around. For an organisation that has strict relationship rules, it certainly didn’t care about what its agents actually did together. We could all be out here having a gang bang and SHIELD didn't seem to care. But don’t actually let 2 agents work too closely together if there’s feelings beyond friendship. 

“Maybe we can sneak out behind the targets,” Riley gave me a mischievous grin. “There’s plenty of trees to hide behind. The shower could be fun too. We’ll just say that I’m helping you with your invisibility.”

Ok, maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. Riley obviously wasn’t going to stick with our being professional rule while we were out here. But the promise of sneaking off for some alone time made me very happy. 

“Is that my incentive to behave?” I smirked a little. Riley wasn’t exactly impressed at my little stunt of shooting Kiley’s target. But he let it go pretty quickly when I said it’d been Clint daring me to do it. Part of me wanted to misbehave enough to see if he’d actually carry through with his whispered threat.

“I guess it’s going to have to be seeing as I know you’ll pass all this with flying colours, so I can’t even bribe you with a pass mark to behave yourself,” Riley chuckled. “You and Barton would have put some of the guys on my SEAL sniper course to shame. I’m actually looking forward to seeing if I can rattle both of you.”

“Bring it on,” I taunted. But inwardly I wasn’t feeling so confident all of a sudden. I had heard the stories from Riley about what evils his instructors used to do in the Navy. I was sure he was just dying for the day where he could repay the favour to his own students. Who better to see who he could rattle than Clint or I. 

Riley quickly looked around before stepping forward. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and gave me a brief kiss before pulling back.

“Just remember I love you,” Riley dropped his voice. “And don’t take anything personally.”

“I won’t” I quickly promised him. I’d never hold a grudge for anything Riley did today. However it did deflate my ego even more than it had been. “I love you too, even if Brown Nose is still all over you. I’ll make sure I disinfect you thoroughly before we fuck next time.”

“There are times where I think you actually want that spanking,” Riley laughed while shaking his head. “Come on my little green eyed monster. Time to go and make some grown men cry.”

I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face at the thought of doing exactly that. Yesterday I’d taken far too much pleasure in showing up Rumlow as we fired shot for shot at 800 yards. My accuracy put my ahead every single shot. I had to give it to Rumlow though. He was a damn good marksmen. I didn’t win by much. My ego had swelled and then Clint and I went shot for shot at 1000 yards. It was close but Clint could still beat me. His accuracy, even without a bow, was just incredible. It gave everyone a good show at the end of a long day yesterday.

I picked up the case and happily bounced over to the undercover area. I was met by Clint with a very questioning look on his face as he saw the case.

“Shut up,” I didn’t let him tease me about it. I’d already heard about the spanking comment far too much. Clint just snickered quietly and handed me a coffee instead of teasing me. I put the case at my feet and gladly accepted the coffee.

“Maybe, just maybe you might come close to beating me,” Clint went for another line of teasing. “I doubt it though. If I don’t pass with a perfect score then I’l slipping in my old age.”

“Riley is going to do whatever he can to rattle us,” I informed Clint as I took a sip of coffee. “I’m kind of dreading what he’ll come up with.”

“Many have tried, and failed,” Clint said smugly. “If he can rattle me then he’d be the first.”

Riley walked passed both of us just as Clint said that. Judging by the smug look on his face, Riley would be trying very hard to be that first.

“Thanks Barton, now I’m going to get dragged into whatever Riley has planned for you,” I grumbled staring after my boyfriend. I never knew he could be so damn creative. 

“Like you’re going to have any problems passing this,” Clint just laughed at me. “Come on, drink your coffee and look forward to it. We’re bunking together and I’m guessing no one else is going to want to crash with us.”

“Wrong,” Rumlow walked up and sat beside me. “I’m crashing your little party.”

“By yourself I hope,” I wrinkled my nose at Rumlow. 

“Please, by yourself,” Clint pulled a face at Rumlow as well. “It's going to be bad enough that we both know who’s going to join our tent.”

“No, that’s not happening,” I pouted a little at the thought of that. Riley and I had already been through that. As an instructor he couldn’t be seen to show any favouritism to anyone. So he got a tent to himself. “He’s bunking with Mrs Palmer and the 5 daughters for the next few days.”

“Thats not a mental image I need this early in the morning,” Rumlow groaned at my terrible joke. “In answer to your demands, yes I will be by myself and remain that way. If I feel the need to, I’ll ask for an hour of privacy. I’ll even feed the rumours of you two being a couple and give you some alone time.”

“That’s not even funny,” I gave Rumlow a shove. “Don’t feed those rumours. Tell them no we aren’t fucking. While you’re at it, tell your girlfriends friend to stop drooling on my boyfriend.”

I dropped my voice so the last part couldn’t be heard by anyone else. Friday afternoon really couldn’t come quick enough. As soon as Riley had finished grading all of us, I was going to latch onto him and make sure everyone knew he was mine. Well, let Kiley know he’s definitely mine. 

“Why? Those rumours are hilarious for us who know better,” Rumlow just smirked in response. “Besides, Riley fucking hates that rumour so its even more fun to run with it.”

We were all as bad as each other for shit stirring. There was a very strange sort of camaraderie within STRIKE. The entire unit kept to itself and protected its own. But all the guys loved to give each other hell whenever they possible could. The locker room was crazy most mornings with the usual macho bullshit that went on in there. After I’d joined, the room fell back into a more PG state anytime I was there. It only lasted for about 5 days before returning to normal. Guys will be guys. STRIKE were not known for their humility and there were some very big egos that came with that. 

“You’re an asshole,” Clint echoed the thought that was about to drop onto my lips. He was smiling while he said it though. Rumlow and Clint seemed to get along fairly well. He was one of the rare few people Clint would actually talk to. 

“I hope neither of you snore,” Rumlow ignored Clint’s jab. He lounged back in his chair looking very casual and pleased with himself. “Kari you better sleep in the middle. I can be a bit of a groper in my sleep.”

As if this situation couldn’t get any worse, Rumlow had to throw that line out there. I just scowled at him and focused back on my coffee and blueberry muffin. It was way too early for this. 

“Lets go people,” Riley’s voice suddenly cut over the dim noise of everyone talking. 

“You said half an hour?” someone questioned loudly, sounding very upset.

“Too bad, my coffee is finished so everyone else can be too,” Riley’s hard tone left no room for arguments. “Up, lets go.”

“You know, I always picked you to be the one in charge in bed. Now I’m pretty sure Riley is,” Clint murmured under his breath we he got to his feet. I quickly drained the my barely touched coffee and shoved as much muffin into my mouth as I could manage. It was to stop the snap I planned on having at Clint for his non stop teasing. With my mouth full I couldn’t snarl at him and then get baited into more tormenting by him. 

There was plenty of bitching and grumbling as everyone did as they were told and got to their feet. As we walked to the range, Riley rattled off the first few people who would do their cold bore shot up first. The plan was to run to the 100 yard mark, take position and shoot at the 500 yard targets. All in less than 2 minutes. Not only did you have to line the shot up, you also had to get the rifle set up and fight the natural instinct to hold your breath because you’d already be breathing heavily from the run and adrenaline. There would also be nerves kicking in for the first shot of your assessment. It was a bit brutal. But it was designed to place you in a combat situation where you didn’t have the luxury of always finding the perfect spot. Or you had to run and fire in a very short amount of time. The first shot had to be a kill shot. Otherwise you gave away your own position. 

Clint and I weren’t in the first group. But Rumlow was. I wanted to watch him first to see how he did. I already knew Rumlow was an excellent shot. But under pressure with an unfamiliar weapon seemed to undo him a bit. His accuracy would drop, but he’d still manage to keep in the acceptable kill shot zones. 

We walked to the range, which was only a 2 minute casual stroll on a normal day. But today Riley had his SEAL instructor pants on and we all ended up jogging there in less than a minute. It put the first group at a considerable disadvantage to already have their heart rates slightly raised. Riley didn’t seem to care. As soon as we reached the range, M24’s already waiting to go, he hit the stopwatch.

“Go.”

The first group didn’t need to be told twice. The 4 agents grabbed the rifle and sprinted for the position marked out for them already. I cringed seeing one of the agents completely forgetting to grab a magazine in his panicked haste. Starting out on a score of zero was never going to be a good start to anyones day. He angry cry could clearly be heard back at the rest of the group when he went to pull the trigger on his shot. Rumlow seemed to be the only one in the first group to actually get a good shot in.

“Time!” Riley’s voice bellowed over the range. He pulled a pair of binoculars from his pants and quickly scanned the targets while the agents walked back. 

This went on as Riley cycled through the rest of the group. Half of the agents didn’t even hit the target. No one had a perfect shot yet. This went on until it was just Clint and I left. I had a terrible feeling Riley did this on purpose as he looked over to both of us. During the rest of the agents firing I’d gotten my AWSM set up. 

“You two are shooting to the 1000 yard targets,” Riley informed Clint and I. “From that line, 30 seconds.”

I didn’t wait for the go. I was already sprinting towards the line Riley pointed to. Muscle memory took over and before I knew it, I was staring down my scope to the required target. I exhaled and squeezed the trigger. Clint’s M24 sounded just a second after my AWSM with his own shot. Watching the shot through my scope I could see the neat head shot I’d landed on the far target. 

“And that is how it’s done Agents,” Riley chuckled behind us. “Perfect kill shots for both of you. Edge shots are next. Lets hustle.”

I grinned and let myself glance back up at Riley. He caught my eye and gave me a small wink of encouragement. I was very happy to be starting off on a perfect score. It could only get better throughout the day. 

Edge shots were sitting there for 20 minutes waiting for a target to pop up in your lane. These were only a 300 yards, but you only had 5 seconds to get your shot off before it hit the ground again. It was nerve wracking to sit there just waiting for that long. Take your eye off the target for a second could easily mean a score of zero. It was a game of patience and mental concentration. Not unlike sitting up in a hide somewhere while waiting for a target. There was no opportunities to look away to scratch your nose, cough or deal with any other bodily functions. You had to be 100% concentrating on your target.

We all moved to the shooting lanes with the targets that pop up. They were the typical human silhouettes we’d been shooting at during the week. Half the agents volunteered to go first, I wasn’t one of them. Neither as Clint. I wanted to be last and watch what Riley was going to do as a distraction. As the targets started to pop up as Riley wandered up and down the lanes, nothing was happening. He was simply watching and making notes. Kiley was in this group. I grumbled in disgust as she managed to land a shot on her target. Damn Riley and his thorough teaching. She’d improved out of sight since Monday. The rest of us lounged around doing nothing except watch. I could have easily gone to sleep in the sun. The early February sun was trying its best to break through the miserable cold we’d had all January. If you sat directly in it, it was almost warm. 

“Next group,” as soon as the last target popped up, Riley called out to the rest of us. “Come on, move it.”

There was plenty of grumbling as the rest of us climbed to our feet and went and got settled behind our weapons. I set my AWSM up again quickly, not wanting to even miss a second. I didn’t trust Riley not to have my target pop up before I was ready. 

“Starting now,” Riley’s voice rang out over the now silent range. Like the previous group you could hear a pin drop as everyone focused on the job at hand. I stared down the range at my target. I barely trusted myself to blink in case I missed it. The wait was nerve wracking and boring all at the same time. Any time someone else target popped up, it was a distraction that you just wanted to have a look. But I kept my eyes trained on my own target. Willing it to snap up to spare me from the mental anguish of just waiting. 

I don’t know how much time had passed. Riley and walked past me at least 4 times now. Another distraction that I had to push from my mind. My eyes were getting sore from staring into the space of my target. If I’d counted correctly, everyone had fired except for me. Boots appeared in my peripheral vision and I had to stop myself from glancing to the feet and legs that belonged to Riley.

My target suddenly snapped up. The world around me slowed down as I exhaled and let my fingers gently curl around the trigger at the fall of my chest. I applied enough pressure for the rifle to fire. As I felt the click of the round just about to leave the chamber, Riley kicked my AWSM sending it a few millimetres to the left. I didn’t need to follow my shot to know it’d gone off target by a lot. My head snapped away from the scope and I scowled up at Riley.

“What the actual fuck Riley?” I snapped at him. “You just fucked my fucking shot up.”

“Did I now?” Riley raised both eyebrows at me. He looked surprised at the way I’d just spoken to him.

“Fucking obviously,” my voice turned into a growl. “You didn’t fuck with anyone else shot. You just made me miss what would have been a perfect kill shot.”

“Kari,” Clint tried to get my attention. I ignored him and kept my attention and irritation focused solely on Riley.

“In the real world, we don’t always have the luxury of a perfect shot or perfect conditions,” Riley crossed his arms over his chest as he stared down at me. “Shit happens all the time. Something might fall and knock your rifle out of position. An enemy comes into your nest.”

Afghanistan flashed into my mind suddenly. I clenched my jaw and pushed the mental images of that night from my mind. 

“This is why we train, so we can deal with the distractions,” Riley continued his lecture. “So no matter what happens we’re prepared for it in the real world.”

“Oh so in the real world it’s perfectly fine to single me out?” I couldn’t stop my voice from raising in anger. I couldn’t keep a lid on the feelings I’d tried to keep tamed down over the last week and a half. Every single frustration and irritated all bubbled over. “If we’re going for such a real world experience, why not go along kicking everyones rifles out? Or even better, lets make everyone shoot at the 1000 yard mark. Yeah thats fun.”

“Kari,” Clint tried again to get my attention. I was too intent on getting pissed off at Riley to pay him any ounce of attention. I hated the fact Riley brought up an enemy finding your position. It was no accident he’d said it either.

“You’ve been on enough missions to know that an enemy isn’t going to care who are you,” Riley’s handsome face turned into a heavy frown. “If anything they will single you out believing you’re the weak link Agent Lyngley.”

“And why is that Agent Hunterton?” I said frostily. All reminders of not to take anything personally had long gone out the window. I was angry, frustrated and deep down a little hurt by the stunt Riley had just pulled. He just made me look like an idiot in front of everyone. I could hear a few whispers swelling up from the group as Riley and I faced off.

“Because you look like a weak link,” Riley explained still sounding patient even though he was looking very annoyed. “If I was going up against an enemy and found you sitting in a tree somewhere you’d be my first target.”

“And you’d be dead,” I scoffed. “Because that would be your first mistake, to underestimate me.”

“Actually your first mistake is underestimating yourself,” Riley tilted his head back towards the targets. “Because you’re right. I would be dead with the shot you managed to get off.”

With a knot of dread slowly starting to wind itself into my stomach, I dragged my eyes back to my scope and looked down at my target. Even though Riley had knocked my shot off balance, I’d still made a clean kill shot straight through the side of the face. Not the perfect forehead shot I was going for. But still enough to blow half of someone’s face off. My anger quickly fizzled out to nothing as I saw the proof staring right back at me. I’d just fucked up in a big way. Riley hadn’t made me look like an idiot. I’d just done a grand job of doing that all by myself.

“Confidence in your own ability is one of the most important traits you need as a sniper,” Riley’s voice raised slightly as he addressed the entire group. I was still too embarrassed to pull my face away from the scope. “The ability to know that no matter what happens, you’ll take that shot and it’ll hit its mark. The mark may not be perfect but as long as it does the job is all that matters. Not all of us can hit perfect head shots every single time, except for Barton.”

A muted and slightly nervous laugh rippled through the crowd of agents. I finally dragged myself away and peeked up at Riley. He’d turned slightly so he could address everyone and wasn’t looking down at me anymore. 

“But to trust in your training that when fuck ups happen, you can handle them under pressure. If Agent Lyngley had just done that in field she would have given away her and her spotters position and placed them both in danger. So learn from this. Because it might be your rifle, or your boot that I kick. Or I throw something at you while you’re about to shoot. It might be you sitting out in a hole in the middle of butt fuck nowhere one day and a spider drops onto your head just as you’re about to take out a mark you’ve been tracking for 6 months. And always, absolutely always keep a track of your shot. Everyone can have a 10 minute break.”

Everyone took Riley’s firm tone as an instant dismissal. I stayed behind my AWSM, knowing very well that I wasn't going to be dismissed right away. I couldn’t even look Clint in the eye as he got up, shaking his head slightly at me. He’d been trying to get my attention to let me know I’d hit the target. I’d just completely brushed him off in favour of losing my temper at my boyfriend. Dumb move. Really, really dumb move on my behalf. I stared down at the ground instead, trying not to fidget with anything I could get my fingers on.

“If you ever speak to me like that again during this training exercise, I will kick your ass off this range quicker than you can blink. And I will staple a nice little explanation of why you got kicked off to your ass for your handler,” Riley said firmly while everyone scuttled to safety away from his ire. “Understood?”

“Yes Agent Hunterton,” I swallowed heavily. Coulson would kick my ass into next week for me losing my temper like that. I was still very much a junior agent. Not really any better than some of the others here that had just finished at the Academy. Being a senior agent and an instructor on this course, Riley had ever right to do what he’d just threatened.

“I’m sorry,” my voice was very small. I just wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear. I couldn’t bring myself to actually look up just yet. It wasn’t until I saw Riley’s crouching down to my level I actually dragged my eyes up from the ground. Gone was the irritation and anger, now he just looked concerned. A quick glance behind him showed everyone else well out of earshot. 

“Do you feel suitably chastised?” Riley’s lips twitched as he tried to keep the smile off his face.

“I’m sorry,” I repeated. “That was really stupid of me.”

“Yeah it was,” Riley’s gaze dropped down to my hands, which were still wrapped around the AWSM to stop myself from picking at everything on the ground. “Thats a bit scary when you’re angry.”

I had to look down to see what he was talking about. Ice crystals had formed over the back of my hands and along my fingers. I hadn’t noticed myself doing it. I quickly snatched my hands away and shook the small crystals off. Shit, that hadn’t happened in a long time. 

“That’s still a 10 by the way,” Riley gave my shoulder a quick squeeze. “Go have your break. Take a deep breath and make sure you wander back looking like I’ve just torn you apart for having a psycho fit at me.”

“Sorry,” I apologised yet again. I wasn’t going to be able to live this one down in a hurry. “I’ll just go hide in the corner and die of shame.”

“At least you didn’t get up and punch me,” Riley chuckled quietly. “ Thats happened a few times both in SHIELD and the Navy.”

I just smiled weakly and climbed to my feet. Riley pushed himself up from his crouch beside me. We both parted ways immediately. I was a few feet in front of Riley as we both walked back to the undercover area. As soon as I walked in, I could feel every set of eyes turned to me. Most turned away quickly enough, but plenty of people still stared. I plastered a look of complete indifference on my face as I strode over to where Clint was sitting. As soon as I sat next to him, a Hersey Bar dropped into my lap. 

“Whats this for?” I looked down at the offered chocolate.

“When Nat is PMSing like that, I generally just throw chocolate at her until she stops growling,” Clint hands went over my lap again. He opened it and dropped some bite size Reeces Peeces into my lap as well. “Figured it’d work the same for you.”

“You’re fucking hilarious Barton,” I rolled my eyes. “I’m surprised Nat hasn’t shot you for that.” 

“Where do you think the teeth marks on my arm came from?”

I winced but couldn’t stop the smile creeping onto my face. I didn’t doubt that at all. It made me feel a little better. Even if I wasn’t actually having a hormonal dummy spit. But it was a good cover Clint had just made for me. No one else would give it a second thought now. 

The rest of the day was spent on the range with more tests of edge shots at different ranges. Rapid fire starting at 200 yards and working all the way up to the 1000 yard mark. While Clint was doing his rapid fire at 1000 yards at 40 rounds per minute. Riley asked in a very quiet whisper if I could make a small ball of ice for him. Knowing what he was about to do, I gleefully made it and handed it over to Riley. No one else was paying any attention. That was until Riley dropped the ball of ice down the back of Clint’s shirt. Clint managed to finish his shoot, while squirming uncomfortably. As soon as the last round left the M24, he shot to his feet. Dancing around to get the rapidly melting piece of ice out of his shirt. He ended up stripping off his shirt to get it out. Much to the amusement and joy of every female on the range. It didn’t have the effect on his shooting as Riley had hoped. Clint still had perfect accuracy even under pressure. 

But we weren’t the only ones that Riley fucked with throughout the day. It was a bit of genius on Riley’s behalf. After he did it to Clint, everyone would get tense whenever Riley was close to them. People started making mistakes. Temper would fizzle short. By the end of the day, I wasn’t the only one who’d lost my temper. Rumlow had been the surprise one who’d stood there and argued for 10 minutes with Riley. We all stood there watching in surprise as Riley called a very obvious hit on a target as a miss. Rumlow argued back that it wasn’t and it rapidly went downhill from there. By the end, Rumlow ended up storming off in a huff and didn’t come back for 20 minutes. It made me feel a little better for my own dummy spit. 

Riley finished us up for the day with enough daylight left to clean weapons and get our camp set up. Thankfully the tents could be put up in a matter of minutes. As soon as I threw my sleeping bag into our tent, I wanted to stay there. It’d been a very long day. I lay face first down in my pillow, ignoring Rumlow and Clint setting up their own beds. No one else disturbed us so we got extra room. I drifted in and out of sleep, until Clint shook me awake for dinner. I grumbled, dragged myself out, shovelled 2 servings of the spaghetti and meatballs someone had cooked into my mouth and then went straight back to bed. Today had been mentally draining. It was worse than physically draining. Outside I could hear the quiet and muffled sounds of people being sociable and having a good time. I definitely wasn’t in the mood for that tonight. I kicked my boots off and pulled my heavy jacket off. It was cold so I didn’t worry about taking anything else off. It didn’t take long for me to go to sleep, despite the early hour. 

When I woke with a start, everything was quiet and dark. I was shivering despite the warm sleeping bag and multiple layers of clothes I still had on. I huddled myself into a ball trying to get warm again. But my body had other ideas. I desperately needed to go to the toilet on top of being freezing cold. I grumbled quietly as I extracted myself from the semi warmth of my sleeping bag. Beside me, Clint stirred and shifted onto his back.

“You ok?” Clint asked sleepily. 

“Just need to pee,” I said quietly so I didn’t wake Rumlow. “Sorry didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“Eh,” Clint grunted and rolled back onto his side. He was asleep by the time I finished lacing up my first boot. Rumlow was still fast asleep, breathing heavily enough that it was almost a snore.

It didn’t take me long to run to the toilet. There wasn’t a soul awake and every footstep I took sounded very loud in the quiet night air. I went to the toilet and quickly slipped back towards the tent. I paused as I looked over to where Riley had set his tent up. Like every other tent, it was quiet and dark. He would have been asleep for hours by now. We had to behave ourselves so there was no point climbing into bed with him. I sighed quietly. I could really do with a hug from him right now. But I didn’t always get what I want. I’d have to go and crawl back into my own sleeping bag and deal with it. 

Neither Clint or Rumlow stirred when I got back into the tent. I quickly got undressed out of my heavy coat and crawled back into my sleeping bag. I huddled in a little ball, willing my teeth to not chatter as I very slowly started to warm up. Tiredness made my eyes slid shut and drift off into a light sleep. I woke up again in what felt like seconds later to a body sliding into the sleeping bag with me. 

“Its just me,” Riley’s voice whispered in my ear. He sounded so tired. “Why do you have so many clothes on?”

“Its cold,” I whispered back.

“Take them off,” Riley chuckled briefly. “The sleeping bags are designed to reflect body heat. You’ll be warmer without so many layers on.”

I unzipped the bag enough to peel off the few layers I had on. I stripped down until I was just wearing a bra and underwear. The cold air wormed its way into the half open bag making me shiver. I threw my discarded clothes out and quickly zipped it back up. Riley settled in behind me, pulling me in close to him. Instantly I was a lot warmer. It wasn’t hard to burrow back into Riley’s body as far as I could.

“I couldn’t sleep without you,” Riley murmured quietly. “Are you feeling ok? I missed you after dinner.”

“Just tired,” I wound my fingers through Riley’s hand which was resting on my hip. “Too much mental strain.”

“At least tomorrow will be fun,” I could hear the smile in Riley’s voice. “Go to sleep.”

I was already asleep before Riley finished speaking. I didn’t wake up until the next morning when Clint’s watch alarm started going off. I was disappointed to find my sleeping bag empty. I hadn’t even heard Riley get up and leave. At least I was warm for half the night. I got up, got dressed and groggily made my way out for coffee with Clint. Rumlow had only just started getting up as we’d both finished getting dressed.

I plonked down in a chair while Clint went and made coffee. He was so well trained in that regard. I’d have to thank Laura when we got back for it. Not only did he make coffee, but he also made sure I ate last night. I didn’t ask but I’m sure the spaghetti and meatballs would have been his doing as well. It wasn’t hard to see why people who didn’t know us, would easily assume we were in a relationship. 

A pair of freezing hands landed on my cheeks as I sat there pondering about Clint being well trained. I jumped in fright and craned my head back to look at the culprit. Judging by those hands I already knew who it was.

“Are my hands cold?” Riley smirked down at me. 

“Are mine?” I quickly shot back. I iced over one hand quickly and stuck it up Riley’s shirt. The muffled grunt of discomfort and jump away from me gave me my answer. “I’ll take that was a yes.”

“I have a favour to ask,” Riley gave me a cheeky smile as he came to sit next to me. It was the same smile that he always used to charm his way into something. I always referred to it as his panty dropping grin. Because most of the time that’s exactly what that smile made me end up doing.

“What can I do for you Agent Hunterton?” I tried my best seductive voice. Natasha’s almost came out like a purr. I sounded more like a sick cat with a hairball when I did it. 

“Because I know doing this stalk will take you about 3 minutes to complete,” Riley chuckled. “Can you come up into the tower once you’re finished and help me?”

Today we’d be putting into practice doing stalking. This mornings stalk would be a mile and you’d have until lunchtime to get within 200 yards of the final target. According to Riley it should be a piece of cake in the terrain we had. Beyond the vast flat range was lightly timbered forest. There were plenty of trees, brushes and natural slightly hilly terrain to hide around. The control tower was set up within the trees smack bang in the middle of the 2 mile radius. The tower had monitors which Riley would keep an eye on. If he spotted you, it was all over. If you got within the 200 yards mark of the control tower you’d shoot a blank round to announce your arrival. Riley would then take his binoculars out and see if he could spot you. If he couldn’t you’d be given the all clear to fire off a chalk round at the targets set up all around the outside of the control tower. The points from yesterday were exactly the same for hitting the target.

In the afternoon it was the same thing, except it was a 2 mile stalk. It would take most people all afternoon to come in, basically on their hands and knees and find a firing position. I hadn’t been told I couldn’t use my powers, so I was going to go invisible, jog in and get it all and done with. It almost felt like cheating until Clint pointed out to me that you used whatever you could to make things count. Plus it would give me a few hours by myself with Riley while everyone else crawled around in the forest. 

“Of course,” I smiled sweetly. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Kiley sitting across from us. She was watching our interaction with a lot of interest. And quite a sour expression on her face as well. I could read her clearly. She was very jealous of the smile Riley currently had in my direction. I really wanted to lean over and give him a kiss. Just to piss her off even more. 

“Am I joining in?” Clint’s came back with 3 cups of coffee. He handed one to Riley and then to me. 

“No,” Riley rolled his eyes at Clint. But eagerly accepted the coffee from him. “Because I can see you up there shooting chalk rounds at people once you find them. Unlike STRIKE Team Delta, no one else seems to think its fine to maim other agents.”

I winced thinking back to the time Natasha shot me with a chalk round. It’d taken 2 weeks for the bruise to fade away. For once Riley had been very sympathetic about how much it hurt. He admitted he’d been shot in the chest with one at point blank range once. It’d cracked a rib and left him aching for a month afterwards. 

Clint didn’t seem to have an answer to Riley’s very firm no. Except for a slight pout. The three of us drank our coffee in relative and comfortable silence. More and more agents were coming in and getting breakfast before we all headed on the bus out to the stalking area. Rumlow finally dragged himself over to us, with no more than a grunt while he got some coffee into him. When it was time to leave we all gathered in a group near the bus. Riley stood in front addressing everyone.

“Are there any questions before we do this?” Riley asked as he scanned the crowd. 

Kiley’s hand instantly shot up. Riley gave her a small nod as permission to speak.

“I don’t believe its fair that Agent Lyngley is allowed to teleport during this exercise,” Kiley said smoothly. “It should be an even playing field.”

Riley frowned. He looked around confused before shrugging his shoulders. Beside me, Clint just looked over at the other agent with a raised eyebrow at her bold statement. She shrunk under Clint’s firm gaze and quickly snapped back to face Riley. It wasn’t hard to notice she was actively avoiding looking anywhere near me. Even if I was standing right next to Clint.

“Agent Lyngley wheres your pain in the ass twin brother?” Riley asked.

“In Belgium, hopefully stocking up on chocolate to bring home,” I said smartly with a small grin. “He’s definitely not here to cheat.”

“But you can teleport too,” Kiley looked frustrated as she swung around to face me. It was obvious her plan wasn’t working in her favour. “It's not fair if you do it.”

Kiley was still holding a coffee cup in her hand. I gave her a bored look before switching my gaze to the cup. A second later it froze over with little effort from me.

“I don’t think freezing things is going to help me here,” I plastered a look of indifference on my face. I had to keep myself from laughing as Kiley dropped the cup in obvious shock. She couldn't stop staring at the frozen solid object on the ground. “Just because Jared teleports doesn’t mean I do too.”

Kiley looked very embarrassed as she mumbled was I assumed was an apology. Her eyes quickly remained fixed at her feet. I almost felt a little bit sorry for her. Almost. If she hadn’t of kept flirting with my boyfriend that is. It wasn’t something I hadn’t heard before. Nearly everyone assumes I can teleport until I show them otherwise. Powers can be such a random thing. Sometimes they get passed down. But in our families case, everyone was different. 

“I’m sorry Agent Brown I didn’t quite catch that?” Clint surprised me by raising his voice. He glared over at the junior agent. If she looked embarrassed before, it had nothing on how she was now. Kiley looked ready to start digging a shallow grave right there and then at Clint’s hard gaze on her. The few agents standing with her scuttled away a few steps away. Far enough from Clint’s gaze so they didn’t get in trouble as well. Kiley bit her lip and finally pulled her eyes up to both of us. Clint crossed his arms looked at her expectedly. 

“My apologises Agent Lyngley,” Kiley said softly.

“You’d do best to remember that every Lyngley you’re going to meet in SHIELD is Enhanced as well,” Clint said firmly. “And perhaps remind yourself of your tone when you’re addressing a senior agent.”

Calling me a senior agent was a bit of a stretch of the imagination. But technically I was a lot more senior than Kiley. Only by my clearance level.

“Yes Agent Barton,” Kiley swallowed heavily. Her cheeks turned pink as she actively tried to look at Clint, but not at me. 

“Trying to cause someone else problems out of jealously isn’t going to help you here,” Clint kept going. Now I was actually starting to feel bad for Kiley. I glanced over to Riley to see if he was going to stop this conversation. He just stood there watching with a little smirk on his face as Clint reamed Kiley out. “Just remember, she trains with Black Widow and next time it might not just be your coffee cup.”

I was silently cheering Clint for his little snarl at Kiley. But I kept my face neutral as I gazed over to her, mirroring Clint’s position with my arms crossed. Her entire face had now turned bright red and her eyes dropped back to the ground. 

“Anyone else?” Riley asked. The entire group was completely silent. All stunned by Clint actually speaking up and chewing out Kiley. “No? Good, lets go.”

“Thank you,” I said under my breath in Icelandic.

“Pað var ekkert,” Clint surprised me yet again this morning by saying you’re welcome in flawless Icelandic. I just chuckled quietly and shook my head. I don’t think he would ever stop surprising me.

The bus ride was quiet and quick. Everyone seemed to be a little wary of Clint and his temper this morning. The fact Riley didn’t stop him made it even more tentative for those who didn’t know him. In return it didn’t take long for everyone to get organised, armed and start heading out for the stalk as soon as the bus pulled up. Riley quickly got off and disappeared towards the control tower while we all got ready. There were ghille suits for those who wanted to do extra camouflage. But everyone mostly stuck to just wearing plain camouflage clothing. The group started to thin out as everyone took off in opposite directions, all eager to make the most out of this first stalk. Everyone had an earpiece. All tuned into the radio that Riley carried so he could let people know on the ground if he saw them. Or they were right to take their shot.

I waited until everyone except Clint left. He was still procrastinating about wearing a ghille suit or not so I just left him. I went invisible and started to jog in the direction of the control tower. It didn’t take me long to have it in sight. I’d stuck to a well worn game path that everyone else had actively avoided in fear of being seen. I could clearly see Riley in the tower. He was already on his binoculars looking out over the area. No doubt waiting to see if I was going to slip up. 

Smiling to myself, I simply set up my AWSM with practiced ease. As soon as I was comfortable I fed the blank round into the chamber and let the shot off.

“No Kari I can’t see you,” Riley’s voice instantly came over the radio. “You already know that, so just take the damn shot.”

I laughed quietly and pulled out my chalk round. While I was loading it, Riley came to the side where the shot had come from. He wasn’t even bothering with the binoculars this time. He just stood there with his arms crossed waiting for me to shoot. I lined up the target closest to him and let off an easy heart shot. The bullet travelled straight and smacked into the target in a large blue smear. I grinned like mad as I let the invisibility go. Riley jumped but then gave me a small wave as I came back into focus.

Riley didn’t even have to tell me over the radio that I was done. I quickly packed my AWSM up and headed straight for the control tower. It wasn’t much more than a glorified tree house with a heap of targets sitting on the outside. But it was enclosed, running on its own power source and a lot warmer than sitting out here in the cold. I climbed the ladder and Riley greeted me at the door. 

“Hi,” I grinned.

“You took longer than I expected, maybe I should take some points off you,” Riley teased. He grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled me inside, into his arms. His lips met mine in a desperate crush. I wrapped my arms around his neck eagerly returning the kiss. When his hands went for my pants, I pulled away.

“You’re meant to be working,” I tried to scold him. My heart really wasn't into the knocking him back. My body was already eagerly saying yes. 

“No one will be in sight for at least 5 minutes,” Riley wasn't perturbed. His deft fingers went straight for my pants again, undoing the button and teasing the fly down. He had a carefree grin on his face. “Surely you can give me 5 minutes?”

Fuck it. I couldn’t resist Riley at the best of times. Let alone when he was so damn flirty. I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled myself back onto his lips. The step forward was enough to make my pants start slipping down over my hips. Riley hands helped their journey all the way down my legs into a puddle on the ground. His tongue was instant against my own, tangling together fiercely. Another step and I was standing there naked from the waist down except for my boots. Riley grabbed me, lifting me up easily into his arms. I giggled against his lips as I wrapped my legs around his waist for balance. 

“So you’re going to fuck me right here, up against the wall?” I broke away from him for a second.

“Yep,” Riley smirked as he pushed me back into the wall. “Any complaints?”

Holding me up with one arm Riley hand slipped between our bodies and between my legs. I felt out a breathy moan, letting my head fall back against the wall at his fingers teasing me. His thumb rubbed my clit and 2 fingers slid straight into me. If Riley wasn’t holding me, my legs would have collapsed at the sudden and swift contact. 

“I’m guessing you missed me,” Riley head dipped as he nipped at my neck. “You’re so wet.”

“Just shut up and fuck me,” I couldn’t deny it. 3 days of no sex seemed like an eternity when I’d gotten used to sex nearly every day. I whimpered in disappointment as Riley’s fingers left me as swiftly as they’d been on me. He set me down on the ground and I made short work on his own pants and boxers. This was unbelievably naughty and bold of us. It just added to the excitement. Riley wasted no time in picking me up again, sliding into me easily as I wrapped my legs around him for balance. My fingers dug into his shoulders as he began to fuck me. There was no teasing. Riley set a fast pace straight away, knowing our time was limited. The angle of his cock and his body rushing up against my clit with every move didn’t take long to drive me over the edge. I bit my lip trying to keep quiet as my body trembled and convulsed around Riley. It only took another few strokes to send him over the edge too. His lips met mine as his body jerked erratically as he came. His own moans of satisfaction were muffled against my lips as we both rode our the after throws of own orgasms. It took a minute before either of us could calm our ragged breathing down.

“You need to get back to work,” I mumbled as I dropped my head onto his shoulder. Good thing I knew Riley could easily bench press my weight and then some. He had no problems holding me up like this.

“Work feels so irrelevant now,” Riley chuckled as he pressed a kiss onto my temple. “But yes I do.”

Riley gently eased me down. It took me a few seconds to make my still shaking legs work enough to fetch my pants. Riley produced a box of tissues to clean both ourselves up. It was disappointing after an amazing quickie to actually get dressed and be back to work. I pulled my pants back on and pulled up the spare chair next to Riley. I stared at the computer monitors feeling bored already. My mind was starting to kick in of all the different ways I could distract him while we waited for everyone else to be finished. A flash of movemnt on one of the screens caught my eye.

“I spy with my little eye, someone beginning with R,” I laughed as I recognised the body straight away. Rumlow had gotten himself out of the cover of a few bushes and was desperately trying to crawl as quickly as he could without being noticed. Riley glanced over to where I was looking and let out a short laugh.

“Rumlow you’re out,” Riley opened the communication channel. “You dumbass.”

Rumlow’s response was to stick his middle finger up in the general direction of the control tower. He then got to his feet and kicked the nearest tree in frustration. It just made both of us laugh at his childish antics. 

The rest of the day was exactly the same. The morning stalk ended up with only Clint and another agent getting their shots off. The afternoon stalk was much better with nearly everyone learning from the morning and managing to do it correctly. I did the exact same thing as I did for the morning stalk. Go invisible, jog in and let me shot off. That night I didn’t miss the infuriated looks Kiley kept giving me. She simply couldn’t work out how I was doing it. But after Clint’s talk to her this morning she wasn’t game to say anything to me. Or to Riley. She seemed to realise her flirting was a bit out of control and toned it down considerably over dinner.

I didn't even bother going to my tent when it was time for bed. After saying good night, as soon as I wasn’t being watched I went straight for Riley’s tent. I stripped down naked and crawled into his sleeping bag. I didn’t wake up when Riley came to bed. I did wake up to water dripping on my face at 0320. It was pouring down rain outside with a gusty wind threatening to blow the tent over. It wasn’t a hard decision to make to bail. Riley grabbed his bag and I took the sleeping bags and we made a run for it in the freezing rain. We weren’t the only ones. As we hastily rain to the undercover area, everyone else was doing the same. Clint had grabbed my bag as well, dropping it at my feet as he found Riley and I. Thankfully no one had noticed us showing up together. Everyone was too busy trying to get dry and warm.

“Well, this fucks things up a bit for tomorrow,” Riley chuckled as he shook the water out of his hair. “I guess we’re all sleeping under here tonight.”

Not much sleeping was done for the rest of the night. Back in my own sleeping bag, I couldn’t fall back asleep so I just lay there listening to the rain coming down in sheets. People drifted in and out of sleep around me. Some, like me, who couldn’t sleep simply got up and made an early breakfast. By 0630 the rain still hadn’t eased. Nearly 2 inches of water was sitting on the ground. Most of the tents had blown over, or now had water running through them. Riley had just woken up and was surveying the mess in the predawn light. I went and stood next to him, huddling as close as I could without it being too obvious to get warm.

“I’m guessing today is a wash out?” I asked looking over to Riley feeling very disappointed. I was really looking forward to our massive paintball match today.

“Yeah,” Riley’s look of disappointment matched my own. “That sucks, today is the most fun.”

“Does this mean the course is officially over?” I asked innocently. I spied Kiley out of the corner of my eye watching the pair of us very intently. I had a feeling if anyone had noticed us leaving the tent together last night, it would have been her. She looked ready to turn green from envy after I got to spend the entire day in the control tower with Riley yesterday. For someone smart enough to make it through the Academy as a Specialist, she certainly wasn’t smart enough to realise Riley had zero interest in her.

“It does,” Riley gave me a small smile. “And lucky for you, you’ve passed with a perfect score.”

“Good,” I grabbed Riley and pulled him in for a kiss. I could feel him smiling against my lips as we kissed. He tangled his hands through my hair and pulled me in even closer. 

“Are you marking your territory?” Riley pulled away a fraction after a few seconds.

“Yep.”

Just as I reached in to kiss Riley again, I snuck a glance at Kiley. The look on her face more than made up for all the jealousy I felt over her flirting for the last 2 weeks. She looked absolutely dumbstruck and then horror dawned on her face. I had no doubt Clint’s warning about me training with Black Widow just echoed in her mind. If only I had a camera to catch that exact moment. Riley’s lips hit mine in a brief, but passionate kiss. I pulled away just in time to see Kiley turn on her heel and storm off.

“Lets go home,” Riley wasn’t letting me go. He just raised his voice to be heard by everyone. “I for one want a dry and warm bed.”

There were no complaints. There weren’t even any dirty comments being thrown at us for our little PDA. Everyone just shouldered their gear and ran for the bus. Fuck the tents. SHIELD could deal with this mess later.


	34. Chapter 34

Natasha looked at my hands yet again, sighing angrily as she threw a box of cereal in the shopping trolley. I quickly retrieved the sugary messy that would surely get us killed by both Clint and Laura if we let their kids eat that. Placing back on the shelf, I grabbed the Wheaties and Cinnamon Harvest Whole Wheat biscuits that were on the shopping list instead.

“Stop your pouting,” I rolled my eyes at her. “You and Clint need to stop betting on my love life.”

“Yeah but I was so fucking sure he was going to do it on Valentine's Day,” Natasha grumbled. She grabbed the cereal box I just put back on the shelf and dumped it in the trolley again. “I’ve given him an earful about it too.”

I cringed and kept pushing the trolley. Natasha and I had somehow gotten roped into helping Clint do their monthly food shop. With the amount of food Clint ate himself, not to mention Natasha and I over there on a regular basis. It was a huge ordeal. I’d managed to avoid doing it until now. Riley had been away on a mission for the last 2 days and was due home in the early hours of tomorrow morning. So I needed something to keep me occupied for a few hours until he’d be home. Grocery shopping wasn’t my idea of fun. But it helped Clint and Laura out immensely.

After the sniper course the rest of February flew by and somehow we’d landed into March already. I was backing flying and basically playing taxi again. Clint had been antsy enough with nothing happening that he started tagging along with other STRIKE teams for missions. I’d been sat in the Quinjet for those and not allowed to do much else. The most action I’d seen was standing on the ramp with a P30 just in case cover was needing during an extraction. And true to my luck, none had been needed. Natasha and Jared had only gotten home 2 days ago after their mission went well over schedule. But both of them had come home extremely happy that even though it’d taken longer than expected, it was a success. Natasha was currently pouting about Riley not proposing on Valentine's Day. She and Clint had a bet going that it would have happened on Valentine's Day. Thankfully it hadn’t because it was just way too corny and predictable if it had. Though part of me was very suspicious that Natasha and Clint both knew something I didn’t. 

“He doesn’t even have a ring,” I rolled my eyes again. “Believe me, I went snooping after you started on this.”

As soon as Natasha had started with this line of thought, I went through the entire apartment with a fine tooth comb. There was nothing at all.

“Maybe he’s just hiding it really well?” Natasha suggested with a sly grin. It made me frown heavily at her as we turned into the next aisle. She looked so fucking proud of herself. I was going to start beating the answer out of her soon if she kept it up. 

“Or maybe someone’s hiding it for him,” I shot her a pointed look. “I happen to know 2 of SHIELD’s best spies. I wouldn’t put anything past either one of them to be hiding something from me.”

“Who’s hiding what?” Jared rounded the corner with an armful of Pop Tarts before dumping them in the trolley. I grumbled at the boxes while eyeing off the list Laura has trusted me with. She left very specific instructions to stick to the list and nothing else. So far I was failing miserably at that. 

“Kari thinks we’re hiding something to do with her and Riley,” Natasha flashed a sweet smile at Jared. “I know we’re not but I love fucking with her anyway.”

“I know, isn’t she so gullible?” Jared smirked at me.

I threw my hands up in defeat. Those two could be infuriating while together. I should have known better to rise than to their baiting. They were both such assholes when they wanted to be. How Natasha would know that something was going on after being away for an extended time was silly to even consider.

“What’s Kari being gullible about?” Clint came up from behind me and added actual real food to the trolley. All the fruit and vegetables there were included on the list. I smiled at the note added next to the apples on the list. The ‘please don’t forget these Kari!’ note was done in Laura’s terrible handwriting. Apparently apples were her favourite and always go to food. At least Clint was a good husband in that regard and there were more apples than anything else he just put in there. Maybe if we were lucky Laura would make apple pie as a reward for doing the shopping.

“We’re teasing her about the lack of a ring from Valentine’s Day,” Jared smirked at me. I threw him a dirty look and pushed the trolley into his legs. He jumped and swore in a language I had no idea of, while now glaring at me. I just shot him an identical smirk to the one he just wore. 

“Like he’d tell you two if he going to,” Clint frowned as he eyed off the contents of the trolley. “Are you planning on living at my house for the next 2 weeks Jared?

“I am taking some home with me,” Jared said defensively. “I just can’t be bothered getting another trolley.”

“Lazy,” I scolded my twin. I hit him with the trolley again to make him start moving. This time he just glared at me. But started walking to the next aisle with Clint and Natasha both snickering at our antics. 

“Besides, if Riley was hiding something as important as an engagement ring, it wouldn’t be where you could find it,” Clint added as we started to walk away. I groaned and wanted to bang my head against a wall in frustration. If we weren’t in public I’d happily smack all 3 of them. 

“Where is your gorgeous hunk of man?” Natasha was in a forgiving mood. She quickly dropped the subject before I got too annoyed over it. I’d missed her terribly in the month she as gone. 

“I have no idea,” I shrugged. “He’ll be home about 0200. Where ever he is, he seems to have perfect phone reception and not much to do.”

Wasn’t that the truth. Unlike last time Riley was away with no phone contact, I seemed to get a constant stream of texts this time. It didn’t matter what time of day or night it was either. In return I was teasing him with near constant dirty pictures that made him have to go and hide for 5 minutes of privacy. Whatever STRIKE Team Bravo were doing obviously wasn’t taking up much time.

Natasha gave me a look. The look I knew too well. It was the one when I’d usually just said something really stupid and I was about to get my ass kicked for it. Or for her to laugh or start teasing me for being such a rookie. 

“You know we can track his phone right?” Natasha pulled her own phone out. She began tapping on the screen. Clint quickly snatched it from her hands.

“Or we could not,” Clint sounded very exasperated. “I pity the poor guy if you ever decide to date. He won’t be able to wipe his ass without you knowing. Leave Riley alone.”

“Fine,” Natasha said sulkily. “Give me back my phone.”

Clint reluctantly handed her back the phone. He eyed her until the object was shoved into her pocket and she wasn’t going to track Riley. I smiled and kept walking, looking at the shopping list to cover my amusement. Clint and Riley had a bit of a bromance going on these days. It was kind of cute to watch. He shielded Riley from Natasha and Jared’s insanity. In return Clint and Riley could talk for hours and hours these days about nothing in particular. It was a far stretch from the quiet guys who’d barely say hello to each other a few months ago. Somewhere along the line, Riley had slotted into this crazy little family of ours. Most people had to worry about their family liking their boyfriend. I had worry more about my extended family liking my boyfriend than my actual family.

“What’s for dinner anyway?” Jared started to fiddle on his own phone. “We should do pizza night a day early. I can go to New York and get pizza if someone wants to bring beer.”

My stomach gurgled in agreement to that idea. There was nothing quite like a good NY style pizza. Something with lots of cheese sounded really good right about now. 

“I’ll bring beer,” Natasha stopped so suddenly I near ran into her. I only just managed to avoid colliding with her by veering to the right sharply. She casually tossed a few packets of Oreos in the trolley without even looking back. Thankfully they were on the list. Clint liked to add them to his protein shakes at the moment. I personally thought it was disgusting but both he and Natasha liked it. I was more than happy to stick with just peanut butter in mine.

“Pizza it is,” Clint agreed quickly. “I hate cooking after doing food shopping.”

So did Riley. When we food shopped it was always pizza or takeaway afterwards. There was something exhausting about having to be an adult and shop for real food. Actually this whole being an adult thing was overrated most days. 

“By the way Kars,” Jared looked over to me with a smug smile on his face. “Riley is in Idaho. Just in case you wanted know.”

I didn’t have to reach over and hit Jared. Clint beat me to it, delivering a swift cuff over the back of his head. Jared winced at the solid blow, rubbing his head scowling at Clint. 

The rest of food shopping continued much the same. Natasha and Jared would throw things into the trolley. Clint and I would either fish them out, or eye it off wondering if it was vaguely acceptable. At least by the time we reached the checkout both Jared and Natasha pulled out their own items. It’d barely made a dent in the near over flowing trolley. I suppose Laura basically had 3 kids to feed. Clint’s daily calorie consumption put most high level athletes to shame. Then throwing Natasha and I in the mix as well. It wasn’t hard to imagine after that going through this much food in a month. I cringed at what the bill came to but Clint barely blinked at it. I guess it mustn’t have been such a crazy amount after all. I dreaded to think of what it was going to be like when Cooper was older. I remembered Mom complaining several times about how much food Jared could eat while he was home for holidays. My healthy appetite paled in comparison to what my brother could eat as a teenager. It hadn’t exactly diminished over the years either.

After everything was packed in the car, Natasha and I abandoned Jared and Clint to the putting of everything away once they got back to Clint’s place. Our weak excuse had been to go and peruse Riley’s DVD collection for something to watch tonight. Being a school night we had to keep it quiet and the blood and gore to a minimum incase Cooper snuck back down after bedtime. 

“How about Top Gun?” Natasha suggested with a carefree grin. We were climbing the last set of stairs into our apartment. “That one is always good.”

I levelled a glare at my redheaded friend. It only made her grin even wider. Just like Clint couldn’t stand movies with archers in them. I definitely couldn't deal with Top Gun. Or Pearl Harbour. Or basically any movie there was with fighter pilots. It drove me insane. 

“We can always do Robin Hood Men in Tights just to piss Hawk off,” I changed tactics. 

“I like that ide….” Natasha trailed off as we came up the last step. Standing at the door of my apartment was a women I didn’t know. She had a toddler on her hip and hadn’t noticed us yet. She knocked on the door, almost frantically, shifting her weight from side the side.

“Can I help you?” my left eyebrow lifted on its own accord staring at the woman and toddler.

She spun around in fright, holding her spare hand to her chest.

“I’m so sorry,” her voice was choked. “Does Riley still live here?”

My mouth opened and words failed to come out to answer her question. Beside me, I felt Natasha’s hand suddenly grip my arm hard enough to bruise. It wasn’t just the fact a strange woman was standing here asking for Riley. It was what covered her body. She had 2 black eyes spreading over her face, a split lip and what suspiciously looked like a handprint shaped bruise around her neck. Her hand still clutching at her chest was black with another handprint. 

The toddler was a boy. His brown hair lay in messy curls. He currently had his fist stuck in his mouth, red eyed and looking exhausted. His green eyes were filled with unshed tears. 

“He’s not home at the moment,” I finally found some words to spew out of my mouth. “Can I help you?”

“I just,” the mystery woman hitched the toddler up on her hip a little higher. “I’m sorry, I had nowhere else to go.”

She dissolved into tears right then and there. 

I stood rooted to the spot having no idea how to deal with this situation. Thankfully Natasha’s mind worked quicker than mine. When the woman started to cry, Natasha went straight for her. 

“It's okay,” Natasha murmured quietly putting an arm around her. “Come on, lets get you inside. Sarah isn’t it?”

My eyes widened at that name. Oh no fucking way. Did Riley’s psycho ex really just show up at my door? Why did the weirdest shit always happen with me? As if my life wasn’t crazy enough with my job. 

My hands fumbled for the keys as I struggled with the lock. I threw open the door and stepped aside to let the visitors in first. Natasha was talking quietly to Sarah as she guided her inside and sat her on the couch. It was at the moment the toddler started to cry as well. 

“Kari, can you ring Coulson please?” Natasha didn’t even flinch as she took the toddler from Sarah. She gently shushed him while giving him a few bounces. It didn’t help. If anything his wails only reaching ear piercing levels.

“Sure,” there wasn’t much else I could say. Or do. I was simply too dumbstruck that Riley’s ex had just shown up here. I pulled my phone out of my pocket, quickly opening my Favourites and hit Coulson’s name. I walked from the lounge room and pulled the bedroom door shut behind me for some quiet.

“Sup?” Coulson answered quickly. I frowned at the very casual tone of his voice, not to mention how out of breath he was trying on not sounding. I wrinkled my nose at the thought of what I’d just interrupted. I really, really, really hoped it wasn’t what I was currently thinking. 

“Riley’s ex just showed up here,” the words flew out of my mouth. “She looks like someone has bashed her face in. Nat wanted me to ring you. Why am I ringing you?”

My words took on a slightly hysterical tone as I went on. At the other end of the phone it’d gone silent. 

“I’ll be there in 5,” Coulson said calmly after a few long seconds. “Don’t ring Riley.”

Yeah right. That was the last thing on my mind right now. I dare say Riley would flip hit shit and basically run home all the way from Idaho. Coulson hung up before I could get another word in. I stood in our bedroom just staring at my phone. I had no idea what to say or do with the woman out in my lounge room still crying. I could hear hers and Natasha’s muffled voices. The boy had at least stopped crying during my brief phone call. I decided to brave the crazy in the lounge room. I opened the door and stepped back into the room. Natasha and Sarah were still sitting in the same position as before.

“I’m so sorry,” Sarah wiped at her face. “I didn’t know where else to go. I didn’t have enough money to drive all the way to California.”

“We can take care of that,” Natasha said soothingly. The little boy was sitting in Natasha’s lap grabbing at her curls as she spoke. It was an adorable sight. 

“Do you want a coffee or something?” I felt beyond awkward to be standing there. At least Natasha had an idea of how to handle this. If I’d been alone I would have still been standing outside gaping at Sarah and her child. 

“No, thank you,” Sarah tearful gaze finally met my face. Her cheeks were tinged with pink that wasn’t from crying. “I’m so embarrassed. I had no idea Riley had a new girlfriend.”

There were so many nasty retorts that I wanted to spit at her. Of course she wouldn’t know. Riley had cut her from his life the second he’d found out she’d cheated. Unless she was a pretty damn good spy. She wouldn’t even know what was going on in Riley’s life. But I bit my tongue. This wasn’t the time nor the place for any petty snark from me. Whatever had happened to her must have been bad for her to seek out Riley’s help. 

“Don’t worry, most of the guys on Bravo team were shocked about it too,” I laughed weakly. “Sam couldn’t even believe he was talking to me.”

Sarah just gave me a forced smile at my bad attempt of humour. The little boy started to squirm in Natasha’s arms. He whimpered as if he was going to make a fuss and start crying again. 

“Do you like chocolate pudding?” Natasha asked him, completely unperturbed by his fussing. She stood up with him now resting on her hip. “If I know Kari like I do, she’ll have something chocolate around here for you.”

Natasha moved into the kitchen leaving me standing alone with Sarah. At least she was in earshot if I did or said something stupid. 

“Again I’m really sorry,” Sarah’s face turned down to look in her lap. “Everything has just turned into a mess. I didn’t know where else to go. My parents have barely spoken to me since I got pregnant. I don’t have any friends in New York.”

Her breath hitched as she started to sob again. I awkwardly reached over and grabbed a box of tissues from the coffee table. I handed her the box which she gratefully took. 

“What happened?” I sat down on the couch next to her. Natasha was still rattling around in the kitchen with the toddler. His whimpers had now turned into the occasional giggle as she continued with whatever she was doing.

“Isaac, my fiancé and I had an argument,” Sarah struggled to get the words out. “He got angry at me. I shouldn’t have pushed him like I did. He just lashed out and got me across the face. Then he didn’t want me to leave and pinned my hand against the door.”

Her words confirmed the suspicion I’d had since I first laid eyes on her. Shit, this was bad. I had no words to say to her. 

“He’s a field analyst based in New York,” Natasha’s calm voice came from the kitchen. “Once Coulson gets here, Jared and I will go and get him for questioning before we get the civilian authorities involved.”

I glanced behind me to look at Natasha. While her face was impassive, her green eyes held a steely look of determination about them. If he hadn’t of just down the lowest of low acts, I’d almost pity Isaac. Almost. The fact he was SHIELD actually helped a lot. No one would blink an eye at Natasha and Jared going to grab him to have a quiet conversation about this. I think if a few people knew they’d silently be cheering for it too. 

A knock on the door interrupted a reply from me. I jumped up and raced the few steps to the door. Coulson had gotten here in record time. Pulling the door open I was surprised to see who it was. Instead of Coulson, Laura and Clint were both standing at the door. 

“Not who I was expecting,” I said dryly and stepped aside to let them both in. “Where are the monsters?”

On cue, Cooper and Lila both pounded up the stairs. Their laughter rang around the stairwell as they made it up to the door. Lila attached herself onto my legs straight away. Cooper barely said hi before racing inside. He skidded to a complete stop a few steps in.

“Where’s Riley?” Cooper whirled around to face us. His little face looked absolutely heartbroken at Riley not being here. Riley had fast become number one Uncle, much to Jared’s dismay, after Christmas. 

“He’s at work buddy,” I reached down to pick Lila up. She giggled as she wrapped her arms around my neck. Despite the shock of everything that had just happened, I smiled and hugged her back tightly. Laura breezed past me and went straight to the couch with Sarah.

“Coulson rang,” Clint murmured an explanation to me as he came in the door. “He asked Laura to come over.”

That made sense. Sarah was in no condition to be dragged into a hospital ER after what just happened. The poor woman could barely keep it together just sitting on the couch. Laura was talking quietly to her. She’d taken Sarah’s bruised wrist in her hand and was rotating it gently. 

“Riley is going to lose his shit,” I cringed just thinking of the reaction that I was going to get from my boyfriend. 

“Swear jar,” Lila chimed in with a giggle. She pulled back from her hug and wriggled enough that I set her back down on the ground. She ran into the room and straight to Cooper. He’d made his way to the kitchen and was already begging Natasha for a chocolate pudding. Begging was probably too light of a word to use. Her adorable smile was enough to make Natasha hand over whatever both of them wanted.

“I think we all need a beer,” Clint shook his head slightly. “Gotta say, I didn’t expect to be doing this on a Wednesday afternoon.”

“Yeah, you and me both,” I said dryly. “Fuck the beer, I need a scotch. Straight up.”

I went to close the door but footsteps coming up the stairs made me hesitate. A few seconds later Coulson came into view. He was dressed in workout clothes which were still damp. Oh, phew. I didn’t catch him doing what I thought earlier. He was just working out. He was on the phone, which was a fairly normal thing for Coulson. His cell seemed permanently attached to his head sometimes. 

“We’ve got it covered,” Coulson spoke into the phone. He stopped just before he got inside the door. “As soon as you’re done I’ll send Jared to grab Riley to get him back quicker.”

Coulson paused listening to the other person, who I assumed was Evans. 

“Yeah we can do that too,” Coulson looked over at me with a thoughtful look. “I’ll ask.”

“Ask me what?” I asked with a small frown.

“Do you want to switch with Riley?” Coulson pulled the phone away from his face. “They’re doing a raid in about 2 hours. All you have to do is provide cover.”

“Sure,” I shrugged. That didn't sound too hard. Evans and Coulson wouldn’t have suggested it if it was out of my league. I was happy to get as far away from this situation as possible. It was beyond awkward having Riley’s ex here. I was just going to get in the way, or have my big mouth say something really inappropriate. 

“She said yes,” Coulson spoke back into his phone. “I’ll send her over as soon as Jared gets here. Send a photo so he knows where he’s going.”

On cue, Jared appeared on the top step. He didn’t quite stick his teleport and flailed his arms around to keep his balance and not fall down the stairs. Noticing my stare over his shoulder, Coulson turned around to face Jared.

“Which will be in about 2 minutes,” Coulson chuckled into the phone. “Thanks.”

I took that as my cue to quickly go and get dressed. Ignoring the scene in my lounge room, I hastily went into the bedroom and rifled through the clean clothes basket. I hadn’t bothered putting my latest load of laundry away yet. Thankfully I had a clean uniform in there suitable for a mission. I grabbed my boots and headed back out to Coulson. He was still hanging outside the door looking out over the scene. 

“I’ll be back soon,” I said uselessly to the crowd in my apartment.

“Have fun,” Natasha said in a sing song voice. She was still in the kitchen with Sarah’s boy on her hip. They’d found the chocolate cake I’d hidden in the back of the fridge as a surprise for when Riley got home. I guess I’d be stopping at the bakery again tomorrow. I doubted there’d be a crumb left of that cake when I got back. 

I glanced at the toddler with a small frown. I hadn’t taken a good look at him. But now looking over his face, he kind of looked like Riley. He definitely had his Mom’s face, but the green eyes and brown hair were 2 shades of very familiar to me. It couldn’t be though. Riley said they’d gotten a paternity test done and he definitely wasn’t his.

“Kari,” Jared’s voice snapped my attention away from the toddler. I quickly walked back out the door to where my twin and handler were both waiting.

“Ready?” Jared held his hand out.

“Never for this,” I cringed in advance knowing what was coming. I grabbed his hand, holding on tightly. A second later the entire world dropped out from underneath us. The usual stomach churning feeling disappeared as soon as our feet touched solid ground again. We had teleported into a large lounge room. No doubt a safe house. Evans and Riley were both standing there. Riley didn’t jump at our sudden appearance. But Evans did. The look of shock at us appearing in front of him looked like we’d nearly given him a heart attack.

“Hey,” Jared smirked. “Did I scare you Evans?”

“No I just love people suddenly appearing in front of me like a fucking rabbit pulled from a hat,” Evans snapped at Jared looking very irritated. He turned to look at me, his expression softening straight away. “Thank god one of you is well behaved. Thanks for coming Kari.”

“Thanks for the invite to play,” a bubble of excitement started to form in me. I hadn’t seen any action since the hostage situation. Playing taxi in the Quinjet really wasn’t that exciting. It was funny how much my first kill messed with my mind in Afghanistan. That mission when I killed Craig had barely played on my mind. It’d given me the confidence that I could do this. That I was a fit and able member of STRIKE Team Delta. It’d taken a long time to build this confidence up. Heres hoping that it wouldn’t screw up along the way.

“Hey and bye,” Riley stepped forward and pulled me into a hug. I hugged him back tightly. He looked so stressed right now. It's no wonder Evans wanted us to swap. Riley wouldn’t have been able to concentrate on the mission with all this going on. 

“Bye,” I smiled as Riley kissed my cheek. “There was chocolate cake in the fridge for you, but Natasha is eating it.”

Riley chuckled and we reluctantly pulled apart from each other. Jared didn’t waste any time. With a small smile in my direction he grabbed Riley’s arm. Then they were both gone. 

“Of all the people he had to fall for, it had to be you with the worlds biggest pain in the ass for a brother,” Evans shook his head. “Come on I’ll run you through what we’re doing. Sam offered to be your spotter if you want him.”

“Sure,” I gave Evans a small smile. It really wouldn’t hurt to have a second set of eyes. Sam often acted as a spotter for Riley. If Riley trusted him with such an important job, I would too.

“Ok, lets give you a quick crash course,” Evans motioned to the couch.

I sat down, eager to be doing something at last.

The mission was very straight forward and simple. It wasn’t unlike the first mission I first did. The only difference was this was a secured complex. It was my job to take out the guards before the STRIKE team could move into the complex. Once the team was in, I’d be providing cover until they complex was secure. It was straight forward and simple. The few days they’d been away had already picked out a spot for me to set up. All I had to do was sit there with Riley’s CheyTac and pick off a few guards. The guards were set up in a few positions. But all remained stationary during their shifts. The only moving targets I’d have to deal with if some of them got spooked and ran. 

“Any questions?” Evans asked after he’s given me the briefing.

“Nope I’m good.”

“Good, go and get your shit ready,” Evans nodded in the direction of the room behind us.

I didn’t need to be told twice. I got up and scampered to where the rest of Riley’s team were getting ready. As I entered the room, Sam started straight away.

“Oh wow Riley, that’s a quick sex change,” Sam called across the room. “Gotta say you look hot as a blonde.”

“I’ll tell your best friend that you’re checking out his girl,” I gave Sam the finger. “See how well that goes for you.”

The room erupted into laughter at my quick reply. Riley was still getting teased about him punching Rollins after I came off my bike. Sam just gave me a dirty look and scooted over from where he was sitting on the floor to make room for me. Riley’s CheyTac was sitting in a case at his feet waiting for me to put it together. I went over and fell to the floor cross legged dragging the case to in front of me. 

“You sure you can lift that?” Nick, who was one of the closer team mates to Riley, teased me. At least I’d learnt all of his teams names by now. Nick only stood out because I remember him being the one who set Sarah up to get caught cheating. Dammit, all I could think of was Riley’s ex right now. I forcefully shoved her from my mind and set myself to the task at hand. 

“I can lift it and kick your ass at the same time,” I just smirked at him. Nick was a nice guy, like most of Bravo team. Tall and built like a huge football player, he was one of the heavy hitters on the team. Personality wise he was more like a teddy bear though. I don’t think the punches from my skinny arms would do too much damage to him. 

“You know what I find really disappointing though Kari?” Sam turned to look at me as I snapped open the case. I just raised an eyebrow in question at him. “Why don’t you have a catsuit like Romanoff does by now?’

“Because I know you can’t resist my sexy ass and I don’t want to embarrass you because you’d have a constant boner over me,” I smiled at him sweetly. “It’s bad enough the way you’re always staring at Nat. I’m waiting for the day when she hits you with her tasers for checking her out.”

Sam wasn’t spared any laughter from his team. His ears turned a little red in embarrassment. I found out from Riley that Sam had a bit of a thing for Natasha for a long time. He just wasn’t stupid enough to act on it. Being the awful person I am, I mentioned it to Natasha as well. Now she seemed to go out of her way to walk around the locker room in just her underwear whenever Sam was there.

There was plenty more banter as everyone got ready. It took a while before Sam and I were ready to go. Sam was a bit of a perfectionist and wanted to triple check everything. Several times. Plus we had to wait for the rest of the team to be ready. Having a larger team meant taking a lot longer for everyone to go through their rituals before a mission. I resisted the urge to look at my phone the entire time. It only took me 2 minutes to make the decision to turn it off. I really couldn’t concentrate on both things at once. Right now the mission was the only thing I needed to get through. Then I could worry about the new level of crazy sitting back at our apartment. Sam and I would take a separate car to everyone else for the 20 minute drive to the complex. We’d need to be in position before anyone else was ready. We’d park about a mile out and jog into position. From there I’d set up the CheyTac and wait for the signal from Evans. 

The joking mood was gone as soon as we got into the car. Sam and I were silent the entire car ride there. Then the jog into position was quiet except for Sam pointing out where we needed to go. It was a perfect vantage point. The base was set in a small gully. The gully was completely cleared but the outer edges were left in a natural state. There was plenty of cover on top of the hill as we look down onto the facility. Sam and Riley had already cleared a spot and all I had to do was wriggle under the camouflaged bush. Put the CheyTac where I was told and dial it in. 

“You good?” Sam asked me as I lay there fiddling with the species on the rifle. I was very glad for Riley letting me shoot it as often as I liked. It was a very awesome rifle. I understood why Riley liked it so much compared to anything else. I was comfortable with my AWSM. But the CheyTac had the fire power behind it to pull off the mile shots that I needed to take tonight.

“I am all set,” I looked through the scope in the growing twilight. It wasn’t dark enough yet to switch it to night vision. Hopefully we wouldn’t take long enough to actually need it. This facility was run by A.I.M. Not an organisation I knew a lot about. But SHIELD was very keen to take out this facility and snap up whatever research they’d been doing.

There were 4 guard houses. One at each entry station around the facility. It was fenced in a big circle, putting the guards at 12, 3, 6 and 9 o’clock.The plan was to work my way from 12 o’clock and work around clockwise getting the shots off. Each guard house only had one person manning them. Each far away enough from another that they wouldn’t detect something was amiss. The rest of the complex was manned with mainly scientists and tech guys. The remoteness of the facility made it unnecessary to be heavily guarded.

It was strange to be lying up here with Sam. I’d gotten to know him well enough over the last few months. But the feeling of being thrown in a new team and trusted with Riley’s job was starting to sink in. I was a little bit nervous about it now. But Coulson trusted me with this. So did Evans. It shouldn’t be anything I couldn’t handle. 

“You’re going to kick ass,” Sam seemed to read my thoughts. He reached over and gave my arm a small, reassuring squeeze. “You can outshoot Riley, which is something I never thought I’d see. Well besides Hawkeye.”

“No one can outshoot Hawk,” I chuckled lightly.

“From what I hear you come pretty damn close,” Sam gave me a small grin. “When Riley was being a smart ass the other day, Evans threatened to kick him off the team and take you instead.”

“Yeah wouldn’t you boys just love that,” I shot a grin back at Sam. 

“STRIKE in position,” Evans voice came over the radio cutting off Sam’s reply. “All yours Kari.”

This was it. I blew out a breath and looked through the scope. I’d done shots like this a million times with perfect accuracy. It was just shooting at live targets I’d never actually done before. I was about to take out 4 people. People who I didn’t know if they were really the bad guys. Or they were just like the majority of people and had a job to provide for the families. 

The world slowed around me as I lined up my first shot. I couldn’t hear anything except for my heart thumping in my chest. I fought back the natural instinct to hold my breath and made sure I kept my breathing steady. My finger curled on the trigger as I looking through the high magnified scope. The first target was sitting in a chair with his feet propped up on a desk. He was reading a hunting magazine. The lower half of his face was obscured by the magazine. I squeezed the trigger.

The pop of the CheyTac going off with its silencer on was still loud to my ears. I followed the shot for the half a second it took the reach the target. As soon as I saw him slump forward, I swung the CheyTac to my next shot. 

The next 3 shots happened in a blur. I could barely hear Sam telling me each of them was a hit. I didn't pull my face away from the scope until Sam gave me a none too gentle smack on the back.

“Nice,” Sam sounded extremely impressed. “All clear down there.”

I pulled back from the scope and let myself take a few deep breaths. Fuck me, all that anticipation and preparation and all over in less than a minute for me. I could feel my heart pounding like crazy. But at least this time I didn’t feel like I was going to throw up. There was something very impersonal about taking someone out from this distance. It was almost like a computer game in the way it happened. You’re watching everything through the scope and it doesn’t feel real. 

STRIKE Team Bravo were in the complex with a minute of me finishing the last shot. The entire complex was cleared in 5 minutes. There was no fire fight. No struggles inside. Just a smooth running mission that went to perfect timing and precision. The Quinjet waiting to extract the prisoners flew over and landed as soon as the first person walked back out the door.

“That felt,” I trailed off looking down over the scene in front of us. “Rather anticlimactic.”

“Thankfully we aren’t STRIKE Team Delta and everything turns to shit every mission,” Sam teased me. “Lets get down there so we don’t miss our ride.”

I quickly packed up the CheyTac and we were both picking our way down the hill. Another Quinjet landed just as we made it to one of the gates. I forced myself not to look into the little building where the security guard was. I could see the splatter of blood on the window quite clearly from my shot. I clenched my jaw, forced myself to look straight ahead and ignore the churning in my stomach. 

“You get used to it eventually,” Sam put a hand on my back and pushed me along a bit faster. “I don’t do throwing up, so keep moving.”

I chuckled a little at Sam’s teasing. Always the joker. But this time at least he was being somewhat helpful. I swallowed heavily at the bile rising in my throat. It worked its way back down into my stomach and stayed there. We made our way over to the first Quinjet that landed. Evans and a few other guys were supervision the people being loaded onto there. They’d all be taken into SHIELD custody for questioning. Beyond that I didn’t know what would happen to them.

“Good job Kari,” Evans turned his attention away from the Agent he was speaking to. “The Quinjet over there is all yours to take us home once this is all secured.”

“What about everyone’s gear back at the safe house?” I asked.

“Already being picked up. Same with the cars we came in,” Evans explained. He gave me a confused look. I had a feeling I was missing something important that our team never did. Coulson did so much for us that let us concentrate on just the missions. All we had to focus on was getting the job done. “Some of us aren’t lucky enough to have a handler.”

The last part was said as a gentle tease. I grinned sheepishly at him. At least Evans didn’t have to deal with Clint and Natasha. I don’t think many people would trade with dealing with the aftermath of missions in return for dealing with STRIKE Team Delta.

“I’ll go and clean this before Riley kicks my ass about not looking after his weapon,” I hiked up the CheyTac over my shoulder a bit higher. I felt a bit lost and awkward standing there. The rest of the team were still working. I felt like the worlds biggest slacker standing here doing nothing but look pretty. And that was debatable.

I walked over to the Quinjet and found it empty. It was a relief after being in such a crowd for the last few hours. As much as I liked Bravo team, I much preferred our own smaller team. I took my time stripping the rifle back and doing a thorough cleaning job on it. I was pretty slack with my AWSM. The armoury always cleaned weapons. But Riley was very pedantic about cleaning his CheyTac. There was no way I’d be slack and send it back to the armoury dirty because I’d be dead if he found out. Like my AWSM, no one else really used the CheyTac. It was double the weight and size compared to the standard M24. Plus it had a recoil on it hard enough to break your shoulder if you weren’t careful. I’d have a bruise from where it kicked back tonight. Riley often joked his shoulders were permanently fucked from it. It was strangely relaxing to sit there and thoroughly clean it while everything went on around me outside. By the time I was finished, Bravo team were all ready for their lift home. They were all very loud and rambunctious as they climbed up the ramp. I didn’t wait to be told. I jumped to my feet and headed straight to the cockpit. By the time I’d powered up, everyone was strapped in. 

Today had been weird. It started off with work and food shopping. Then my boyfriends ex shows up. Then I get shoved onto a mission with only a few hours preparation. Though it went off without a hitch. Something that never seemed to happen with Clint and Natasha. It was a nice change to be walking away from a mission not banged up. Physically or mentally. The flight back took 4 hours. We weren't in a rush so air traffic wouldn’t clear me for anything more than cruising speed. The conversation in the back kept me amused throughout the flight. After the serious debrief from Evans, it was story and bragging time for the boys. Being typical guys it didn’t take long for the stories to end up X rated. Being away from home for a few days seemed more than longer enough for some pent up sexual frustration to happen. It was 0131 by the time I landed the Quinjet and taxied back into the hanger. Any left of excitement and adrenaline from the mission had long worn off. I started to yawn as I powered down.

“Need a lift home?” Evans voice came from behind me. I felt him lean over the back of the chair as I went through the motions of shutting the Quinjet down. It would be so much easier if it was like a car. A turn of the key and it shut off.

“Please, I didn’t think to turn my phone back on to ask for one,” I flicked the last of the buttons and the Quinjet went silent. My phone was still sitting in my pocket, turned off. 

“Luckily for you I’ve been getting the near constant stream of messages from your boyfriend asking how the mission went,” Evans chuckled. “Ready to go?”

“Yep,” in the short time it took me to turn the Quinjet off, everyone else had already left. No doubt all keen to get home to their families. Or porn collections for the single guys.

The walk from the hanger to the garage always seemed to take forever. By the time I climbed into the passenger seat of Evans car. I was dead on my feet. I barely remembered driving out of the garage. It only seemed to take a second and we were suddenly out the front of our apartment building. The passenger door opened, jerking me awake out of my sleep that I didn't realise I was doing.

“Hey sleepy head,” Riley’s voice was a welcome sound to my ears. “Lets get you to bed. Thanks Evans.”

My legs wobbled as I got out of the car. I murmured a thanks to Evans and gratefully fell into Riley’s waiting arms. I was so damn tired. I only made it up the first flight of stairs before Riley leant down and scooped me up into his arms bridal style. I didn’t protest. He just lay my head against his shoulder, letting my eyes drop shut again.

“I heard you did good today,” Riley smiled as he pressed a kiss onto my forehead. “No throwing up either.”

“Yeah,” I chuckled sleepily. “Is Sarah still here?”

“Yeah she is, she’ll fly out tomorrow,” Riley hugged me a little closer to him. “Thanks for not losing your shit over this.”

“S’ok,” I cracked a smile. “You just owe me a really nice dinner for it.”

I was too tired to hear Riley’s reply. I drifted back to sleep before we reached the front door of our apartment. 

Voices woke me up. One minute I was asleep and then the next I was wide awake in bed. I didn’t know why I’d just gotten dragged back to consciousness so quickly. I groaned quietly and rubbed my face. Maybe I’d been dreaming. I don’t remember anything if I was. I rolled over onto my side, pulling the pillow underneath my head tightly. I wasn’t ready to get up. Riley’s side of the bed was empty. A quick glance at the clock told me why. It was nearly midday. 

“I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done Riley,” Sarah’s voice came from the lounge room. It was a little muffled but I could hear it clearly enough. Riley had left the door open a crack. I’m sure it wasn’t by accident. After my mission he’d be keeping a close ear out for any signs of nightmares.

“You can thank Jared and Romanoff more than me,” Riley responded. I could almost see the shrug in his shoulders as he brushed off the thanks. “I didn’t do much. But the restraining order is all in place for you. You’ve got all the numbers you need.”

“And the photo of him all messed up,” Sarah said ruefully. “Did you do that?”

“I may have helped a little,” Riley sounded very smug. “It was mostly Nat though. She’s terrifying when she’s mad at someone. I don’t think Isaac quite knew what to think when Natasha walked up to his work cubicle and pressed a gun to his head. Her reputation does proceed her.”

“Still so modest,” Sarah laughed tentatively. “Your girlfriend is very pretty. I’d kill to be that thin.”

Ugh. I’d kill to have a body that doesn’t resemble a pre pubescent boy. I snorted into my pillow but didn’t move from my comfortable bed. I really didn’t have the energy to go and face the scene out there.

“She works out like a machine,” Riley laughed briefly. “She’s STRIKE Team Delta. She has to keep up with Barton and Romanoff.”

“And does she?” Sarah sounded very impressed with what Riley had just said.

“Yeah, she's incredible,” the pride in Riley’s voice made me smile. “I’m a lucky guy.”

“You deserve to be the lucky guy,” Sarah sounded a little bit sad. It wasn’t hard to follow what her train of thought would be. If she hadn’t of slept around on Riley she currently wouldn’t be in the predicament she was. “Are things serious between you two?”

“Very serious,” Riley’s tone changed to slightly wary. “She’s perfect in my eyes. No offence, but I’ve never been happier. Kari is just incredible. My life will never be the same again and I don’t mind it at all.”

“None taken,” Sarah sighed quietly. “It was my fault for messing things up between us. But I love Hayden more than anything in the world. I just still kind of wish you had been his Father.”

That made me pull away from my pillow and look over to the nearly fully shut door in surprise. I swear if she upset Riley in any way I was going to leap out of this bed and smack her across the face and make her eyes a little blacker. 

“We went through that when he was born,” Riley said gently. But there with a firm tone in his voice. “Back then I wished I was too. But I do have a new life now. I plan on starting a family with Kari. Thats if I can ever drag her away from the Quinjet.”

Sarah laughed quietly at that. There was a brief silence before Riley spoke again.

“I am really sorry with what happened with Isaac. I’m glad you patched things up with your parents and you can go home to them.”

“All because of you,” Sarah’s voice choked up. “Even though I was a complete bitch and fucked everything up. You still came to my rescue.”

“This is the first and last time though Sarah,” Riley said firmly. “It took me a long time to get over what happened between us. I won’t have anything come between Kari and I. I’ve waited a long time and been through too much shit to lose someone as amazing as her. I really mean it when I said things are serious between us.”

My heart melted at Riley’s words. If he thought he was lucky, I still had days where I pinched myself to see if this was all real. 

“I understand,” Sarah said instantly. There was a few seconds pause before she spoke again. “I’ll get Hayden’s stuff. The cab should be here in the next few minutes. Are you sure Laura doesn’t want any of that stuff back?”

“No keep it,” Riley chuckled. The firm tone in his voice all but gone now. “It's her excuse not to have another kid right now. She was more than happy to give it away. Here I’ll help.”

Sarah chuckled as well. Her reply became muffled as they moved out of the lounge room. I stayed in bed. I wasn’t really keen to face Sarah at all. It may be a bit cowardly, but I’d rather not start to feel too sorry for her. My phone was on the bed side table, still switched off from last night. I reached over and turned it back on.

A flood of messages from Riley, Natasha and Clint all came through as soon as it powered up. I casually scrolled through them until I heard Riley and Sarah say a quiet goodbye. As soon as the door clicked shut I got up. Just as I was pulling on a clean set of clothes, Riley came in the door.

“Hey,” I smiled at him. Again how did I ever get so damn lucky to have this perfect man?

“Hey yourself,” Riley smiled back. “How did you sleep?”

“Like the dead,” I admitted. “Whats the plan for today?”

“You and me,” Riley smile grew wider. “Nachos and wings. Maybe a few pints of ice cream and a massive DVD binge. How does that sound?”

“Perfect,” my smile stretched out so much as well. “Just like you.”


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of the longest chapters yet. Not really suitable to read in public either! So I'd leave this one until you got home people :) Thank you for the support so far. This has nearly caught up with everything I've written so far. So updates will get a little slower from now on. 
> 
> Thank you for all the comments and kudos so far!

“Come on Kari, you can do better than that,” Natasha teased as she feinted a jab at my left side. I ignored it, standing my ground waiting for an actual move. 

If there was one thing I’d learnt from all these months with sparring with Natasha. She was as much of a tease in fighting as she was in real life. She loved to throw imaginary moves and then quickly change tactics halfway through. Its what made her so deadly. It was so easy to fall into her trap and get your ass handed to you. 

Natasha stepped in towards me again, turning slightly so she could drive her elbow into me. Just as she moved, I shifted and found my leg behind hers. I quickly hooked my ankle and gave her leg a good yank. The momentum was enough to send her tumbling backwards. Stupidly, we were right on the edge of the mats. Natasha flailed for a second before falling onto her back. Her head hit the floor with a loud crack. Her eyelids fluttered for a second and I thought she was going to pass out.

“Oh fuck,” I instantly scrambled down beside her. She was still conscious thankfully. But she didn’t look great. She’d gone pale as she lay there blinking rapidly. “Are you ok?”

“Ow,” Natasha said weakly. “That really hurt.”

“I’m sorry,” I cringed. “Can you get up?”

“Da,” Natasha held her hand out for help. I gripped it and helped her into a sitting position. As soon as she was off her back she groaned and buried her head into her hands. “Shit that was a sneaky move. I didn’t even see your leg there.”

“Do you want me to get Coulson?” I had no idea what else to do. For Natasha not to get up straight away was bad news. Natasha showing she was in pain was a very bad thing. She barely flinched when Clint smacked her full force. So this must be absolutely killing her head to give me this reaction.

“He won’t be in yet,” Natasha’s voice was muffled behind her hands. “Just ring Clint, get me to Laura. Please don't send me to medical.”

The last part came out as a very quiet plea. I’d never heard Natasha sound so vulnerable before.

“Ok, I’ll get Jared too,” I quickly got up and ran over to my gym bag. I fumbled with unlocking the screen. Just as I got into my favourites list Clint walked into the gym. He took one look at the scene and dug his own phone out of his pocket. 

“Ring Jared and tell him to get here now,” Clint’s voice left no room for arguments. I nodded while he hit a number on his phone. The person, who I assumed was Laura, picked up instantly. “Hey, I’m bringing Natasha over. She’s hit her head pretty hard.”

I pressed my own phone to my ear. Jared picked up after the first ring.

“Someone better be dying,” sleep still clouded my twins voice. “Or offering me something really good.”

“I need you in the gym, Natasha slipped and hit her head,” I cringed at Jared’s poor taste of wording choice. “She won’t go to medical.”

“Shit,” a thump could be heard on the other end of the phone. “Two seconds.”

I didn't bother to hang up. True to his word, Jared appeared in the room just as I made my way back where Natasha was still sitting with Clint beside her now. Her head hadn’t moved from her hands still. 

“Footsteps are loud,” Natasha groaned. “It’s too bright in here.”

I crouched down next to Natasha and placed my hand on her back tentatively. She didn’t shrug me off. Guilt clawed at me for what I’d just done. I should have just backed off instead of doing that so close to the edge. I’d been so close to beating her lately I had been trying every single trick she’s shown me to beat her. 

“Nat,” Jared lent down and placed his hands on her arms. “I’m going to take you back to Clint’s place. Can you grab my hand?”

Natasha’s hand appeared from the tangle of limbs that was her arms. Jared gripped her hand and they were both gone. I let out a shaky breath and fell back onto my ass on the floor. 

“Well, this is just going to fuck with tonight,” Clint fell back next to me. “Nat was meant to be on a mission with Coulson.”

Shit. She was too. Natasha and Coulson were heading to a fundraiser hosted by Stark Industries. Coulson had no luck with actually pinning Stark down for a debrief. The plan for tonight was simple, try and push Pepper Potts into actually scheduling a proper meeting. The likelihood of seeing Tony Stark himself was pretty slim. Ever since his press conference he’d been laying very low. No one had seen him in months. 

“Riley has dinner plans for us too,” I knew exactly where Clint was going with this. I was going to have to stand in for Natasha tonight. Fuck me this was going to end up being a mess. 

“Sorry to say but there’s no chance these guns are squeezing into that tiny dress of Nat’s” Clint chuckled as he flexed his arm muscles. I shook my head at him and ignored his attractive arms. He’d been upping his upper body routine in the gym again. Dad had promised his new prototype bow in the next 2 weeks. Even I had to admit his arms looked more fantastic than usual. 

“What are my chances Coulson will find someone instead of me?” I bit my lip hoping Clint had the answer I wanted. “Riley said tonight is a surprise.”

“Depends how nicely you ask,” Clint gave me a sympathetic look. “Welcome to the life of a SHIELD Agent. Your entire personal life can get thrown on hold in mere seconds.”

Wasn’t that the truth. I counted myself lucky that Riley didn’t care if I had to go away. Or we seemed to be really lucky to be able to go together.

“I’ll ring Coulson,” Clint pushed himself to his feet. “The sooner we get this mess sorted out the better.”

I was very glad Clint was ringing Coulson. I didn’t want to be on the end of that awkward silence that was going to happen for that phone call. I don’t think Coulson would ever believe I’d knocked Natasha on her ass either. At least coming from Clint it was somewhat believable. 

“Kari and Nat did something stupid,” Clint announced into his phone as soon as Coulson answered. “Jared is just taking Nat home to Laura.”

Ugh. I wasn’t going to stand here and listen to this conversation. I got up and walked back over to my gym bag and pulled out my bottle of water. I pulled my own phone out of my bag and sent Riley a text.

I might be working tonight :( just gave Nat a concussion.

The message came up as read straight away. Riley must have either not gone to the gym yet, or he’d gotten his ass out of bed this morning not long after me and have been already done. Like us at the moment, Bravo team were fairly quiet again. There were rumours that they’d be heading overseas soon so they were enjoying the peace and quiet while it lasted.

Did I just read that right?

I rolled my eyes at the smart ass reply I got from Riley. Another message came through a second later.

Can you try your best to get out of it?

I frowned at Riley’s reply. Usually he was so understanding and didn’t ever ask that question. My fingers tapped over the screen quickly as I typed back.

Maybe? I don’t know. I’ll let you know what happens.

“Whats up?” Clint’s voice made my look up from my phone. He was finished on the phone and standing next to me.

“Nothing,” I shrugged. “Well, kind of something. Riley asked if I could try and get out of working. He never asks that.”

“Maybe where ever he's booked is hard to get reservations at?” Clint just shrugged. “I wouldn’t worry about it Kari.”

“Maybe,” I wrinkled my nose. As usual I was reading too much into things. But there was something that was annoying me about Riley’s reply. I just couldn’t put my finger on it. “What did Coulson say?”

“He said to go wait for him in the office so he can give us a SHIELD credit card,” Clint’s face broke out into a mischievous grin. “Because you now need to find a dress, shoes and handbag for tonight.”

“And I’m guessing you want to kick my ass before Coulson gets here because he’ll be at least another hour?” I knew the drill all too well. I dropped my phone back into my bag without any protest. We’d all take turns in sparring with each other of a morning now I was fitter. I could actually put up a half decent defence these days too. It was a far cry from being too scared to actually punch either one of them when I first started training with the pair of them. 

As soon as Clint finished putting my ass on the floor several times, we both went up to Coulson’s office. Just as we arrived, Coulson was just pushing open the door. As soon as he spotted me, he shook his head.

“I never thought I’d have to scold you over knocking your teammates out during sparring,” Coulson teased. I grinned and blushed at the same time as we followed Coulson in the door. His office was its usual state of parts of it being immaculately clean. Then there was small spots of disorganised chaos. The chaos seemed to be contained to his desk for the moment. 

Coulson walked over to the safe in the wall and pressed his thumb to it. The small metallic box beeped and then swung open. I peered over the curiously. I’d never seen Coulson actually open the safe before. There wasn't much in there besides a heap of folders that I could see. Somewhere from in there Coulson pulled out a small black credit card.

“Kari, I’m leaving this in your capable hands,” Coulson turned back around. He held the card in his fingers, not ready to walk over and relinquish it just yet. “Last time I trusted Barton with it, he lost it within an hour. You will provide receipts and not use it to buy lunch. Dress, shoes, handbag, makeup and jewellery. Nothing else.”

By the tone Coulson was using it felt like a scene out of Star Wars. I was half expecting him to wave his hands next and tell me these aren’t the droids I’m looking for. I bit my lip and just nodded. If I said anything I was going to burst out laughing. When Mom used her powers to get Jared and I to do something we didn’t want to, or to ignore something, we’d do exactly that to her. 

“What about finding someone to do my hair?” I got myself under control enough not to burst out laughing. 

“Yeah that’s fine,” Coulson walked over and reluctantly relinquished the credit card to me. Clint made a half hearted attempt to snatch it out of my fingers. I stomped on his foot and side stepped around his snapping fingers. Clint didn’t flinch at my weight on his foot. He just laughed.

“Sneaky,” Clint laughed. “I’ll do your make up again if you want. What time are we leaving?”

“We?” Coulson looked at Clint with a furrowed brow. “Who said you were coming?”

“Please Phil?” Clint pouted. “If I don’t get something soon I’m going to go crazy. I’d rather dress up and be walking around the room all night instead of stuck at home.”

I snorted at the sight of Clint pouting. He did have a point though. While I’d gotten to go on the mission with Bravo team last week, Clint hadn’t done anything in weeks. I was surprised he hadn’t resorted to start blowing up his archery targets out of boredom yet.

“Fine,” Coulson sighed in defeat. “Buy a new suit too. I don’t trust you not to wear something that doesn’t have bullet holes or blood stains on it. Kari I’m trusting you to be the responsible one here.”

“Why does that sound familiar?” I glanced down at the credit card. I nearly dropped it in surprise as I realised what I was holding. I thought the Amex Centurion card was a myth. I certainly didn’t expect to ever see one, let alone be holding one, in my lifetime. 

“Be careful with that,” Coulson stressed again. “You have no idea how painful it is to get those things replaced.”

“I will.”

It was the only promise I could make. I could see Coulson shooting me if I didn’t guard this card with my life. 

“Go,” Clint waved his hand in dismissal. “We’re flying out of here at 1500. There’s a room booked for the night so we’ll get dressed there.”

I didn’t need to be told twice. Neither did Clint. He beat me out of the door and we both hurried back down the hallway. It was 0810. We were both going to need all morning to shop and get our shit together. As we came to the elevator I stopped in my tracks.

“Fuck,” I cringed. “I was meant to try and get out of this tonight.”

“He’ll forgive you,” Clint reassured me. “He knows how it works Kari. Besides, we’re only gone for tonight. He should be able to rebook where ever it is with enough notice.”

“Still,” I pulled my phone out of my pocket and started to type the message out informing Riley of the bad news. “I feel bad. He’s been going out of his way to be even more amazing than usual since Sarah showed up.”

In the week Sarah had been and gone, Riley really had gone out of his way to spoil me. Despite me telling him to stop it. And to stop feeling guilty over Sarah arriving announced like that. It wasn’t his fault. Part of me knew that if I was in Sarah’s shoes I probably would have done the same thing. At least she and her son had made it to her parents in California safely.

“I’m so impressed with how you handled that,” Clint hit the button to take us down to the locker rooms. We’d both need a shower and change of clothes before we did this. “I would have lost my shit so badly if I was in your shoes.”

“Trust me, internally I wasn’t coping with it,” I said dryly leaning against the wall with my arms crossed. “But what the hell can I do about it?”

“Go and shoot people seems like a perfect way to blow off steam,” Clint joked with a small chuckle. “How are you going with the aftermath of that?”

“Fine,” I wasn’t lying when I said that either. I’d barely thought about the mission with Bravo team. There’d been no bad dreams. No lingering guilt over what I’d done. The only lasting impression from the mission with the fist sized bruise on my shoulder from not quite tucking the CheyTac in properly. Riley had been sympathetic about the bruises. He’d made sure I’d kept it iced for the first few days and gently rubbed Arnica gel into it. I’d seen him come home with the exact same bruise sometimes when he got careless.

“Good,” Clint gave me a small smile and nod of approval. “I told you it’d get easier.”

The elevator finally arrived on the floor. It had the usual handful of other agents in there. They all ignored us and we stepped into the box. I checked my phone briefly as the doors closed. I hadn’t gotten a message back from Riley yet. 

“So where are we going?” I asked Clint as a distraction from the fact Riley hadn’t sent a text back. He was probably in the gym. Or doing PT with his team. I should stop worrying about it. Riley would understand. He always did. Sometimes I took it for grated and I was always worried it might blow up in my face. 

“There’s a few fancy boutique type places,” Clint checked his watch. “We’ll try Ann’s Boutique first. It’s about half an hour drive but they usually have a really good selection of dresses and suits there.”

“You can drive since you know where you’re going,” I said instantly. 

I’d been in DC 7 months now and I barely knew my way around still. Until someone developed a heads up display GPS in my helmet, I wouldn’t go anywhere I didn’t know.

“Yeah like I’d ride bitch on your bike with you,” Clint laughed at me. The elevator door opened to the garage. “Lets go.”

It took half an hour to reach where we were going across town. Another hour to find a dress that fit me and that they actually had in stock. I’d flicked past the heavily sequinned turquoise mermaid dress. But Clint pulled it off the rack and pushed it into my hands. I hated to admit it looked gorgeous. But I still wasn’t sold on the idea it looked gorgeous on me. At least it made me look like I had some killer curves. It was in my size and it fit perfectly. I was so glad I didn’t have to pay for it myself. The price tag on it made me choke in surprise when I dared to glance at it. Clint even found a sharp navy blue suit that didn’t need any adjustment. For something that was meant to take us a few hours, we got out of it fairly easily. The only thing playing on my mind was that I still hadn’t heard back from Riley. My constant checking my phone got on Clint’s nerves and he repeatedly told me to stop before he threw my phone out of the window. 

We quickly stopped at Clint’s place to check on Natasha. She was fast asleep in what was her room, breathing deeply and looking at peace. Laura was working on her laptop in the room with keeping a close eye on things. Laura had specifically called into work sick to keep an eye on her. Jared was asleep on the couch in the lounge room apparently having worked late last night. Or so he told Laura when he and Natasha arrived. He didn’t stir at all when Clint and I walked in so we just left him alone. A sleep deprived Jared was a very cranky Jared. Even though I’d barely seen him lately I wasn’t going to wake him up. Clint threw a few things in an overnight bag and we were heading to my place in less than 15 minutes. 

When we got there, Clint followed me up into the apartment. He’d finally gotten sick of me constantly checking on my phone and taken it off me. The front door was still locked, meaning Riley hadn’t come home yet. 

“What if he’s mad at me?” I sighed heavily and threw my gym bag down by the door. I didn’t bother taking my shoes off. It’d only take me a few minutes to grab everything I need. I had a hair appointment in an hour anyway and I still needed to go and steal the Jimmy Choo’s I got Natasha for Christmas to wear tonight. I wouldn’t need a handbag. I wasn’t going to be carrying anything on me.

“If he was mad at you, he would be arguing with you,” Clint groaned and gave me a shove. “For fuck sake, stop worrying about it and go and get your shit.”

Ok, maybe I was being a bit too overreactive about this. I took a deep breath to calm myself down. I walked into the bedroom leaving Clint to flop down on the lounge. As I walked in the door I stopped dead in my tracks. On the bed was a single red rose and a note on my pillow. All worry instantly vanished and my insides turned into a puddle of goo. I bounced up to the bed and snatched both the rose and the note up. 

I’m not mad at you! I got called away on a mission too and I’m off grid for a few days. Dinner is rebooked. I miss you already and I love you very much.

The rose was fresh and smelt beautiful. I clutched it to my chest grinning like the love sick fool I was. I normally wasn’t a flower girl. But the sweet gesture Riley had just gone to, and probably made himself very late, was just so him. It was better than just getting a text message.

“Hurry up!” Clint’s voice snapped me back down to Earth. I hurriedly threw enough clothes in my bag for tonight and ducked to the bathroom to grab my make up case. This mission really wasn’t such a bad thing. Now I’d at least have tonight to keep me occupied until Riley came home.

~~~

I covered my mouth to hide the fact I was yawning in the corner. Only an hour into this function and I was bored already. The whirlwind of preparation to get ready and get here for tonight had left no time to eat. I was starving and sipping on a glass of champagne that was going straight to my head.

Clint was on the other side of the room knocking back a scotch on the rocks. I really longed to go over there and smack him on the back of the head for ruining a perfectly good scotch by adding ice to it. Coulson was hanging by the bar looking as bored as both of us. So far neither Pepper or Tony had made an appearance. Obadiah Stane was mingling around the crowd, along with a few other Stark Industries board members. Other than those I’d seen in the briefing file, I had no idea of anyone else here. I snuck a look at the clock behind me. God it was only 2230. This thing didn’t finish until the small hours of the morning. It felt like we’d been here all night already. Except it’d only been 2 hours. I absently twirled the champagne around in the glass. The tight french knot I had my hair up in was starting to give me a headache. Clint had done an amazing natural look with my make up this time. I looked like a completely different person than last time Stark saw me. Which was the point, as Clint had informed me while he did my make up in the bathroom at the Ritz. 

“You need to stop looking like you want to kill someone,” Clint’s voice whispered in my ear. It took every ounce of my self control not to jump in surprise. I swear he’d just been across the room a few seconds ago.

“I’m so bored,” I smiled through my gritted teeth. “People keep gawking at me.”

I tried not to pull at the sequins on the dress as I spoke. It really was an amazing dress but I still thought it didn’t look quite right on me. But it hadn’t stopped me getting a fair bit of attention from the males in the room tonight. 

“I can fix that,” Clint grabbed my hand. “Come dance with me.”

“Oh hell fucking no Hawk,” I tried to tug my hand out of his. Clint’s grip was far too strong. “I’m not dancing with you.”

“It’s either dance, or guys are going to come over here and start asking if you want a drink or a dance,” Clint started to walk away, leaving me with no choice but to follow him. “Besides, someone just showed up.”

Clint inclined his head towards the bar. In my inattentiveness I’d completely missed Stark walking in. He was currently standing at the bar, looking like he was half paying attention to what Coulson was saying. I followed his line of sight to whoever he was staring at. All I could see was curly strawberry blonde hair in a backless blue dress. It took me a second longer than it should have to realise it was Pepper Potts. I hadn’t noticed her arriving either. Fuck I really needed to pay more attention. Tony finished speaking to Coulson and was heading straight towards Pepper.

“Lets see what they’re saying,” Clint dropped his voice. “At least smile and act like you’re interested in dancing with me.”

“You’ll break my toes,” I smiled sweetly at Clint, even if I did want to throttle him. We walked past Tony and Pepper who were still having a conversation. “And Natasha will kill us both if you mark these shoes.”

“Unlike you, I have a sense of coordination,” Clint teased me with a smart grin. We reached the dance floor and he pulled me in close to him. His right arm came down on my hip and pulled me so we were nearly toe to toe. At least I was well trained enough to grab his left hand and mimic his steps. I wasn’t completely clumsy. Dad had shown me how to dance years ago to be passable enough for formal functions. Clint instantly took the lead and kept it simple so I could follow. He casually floated us around past a few other couples. Dammit Clint could actually dance. Now I had nothing to tease him about.

“I hate you right now,” I tried to be mad but I couldn’t stop smiling. “Here I was thinking you’d be 2 left feet and we’d end up making fools of ourselves.”

“Funnily enough, there’s actually a subject at the Academy which is compulsory,” Clint laughed quietly with me. “Ballroom dancing. It’s a great way to surveillance a room. Speaking of which.”

Clint led us closer to another couple. Tony and Pepper were dancing, with Pepper looking extremely uncomfortable and embarrassed. We’d gotten close enough to hear them. But not so close that it looked like we were eavesdropping.

“Oh no, I always forget to wear deodorant and dance with my boss in a room full of people I work with in a dress with no back,” Pepper sounded as embarrassed as she looked.

“Well, you look great, you smell great. But I could fire you if that would take the edge off,” Tony joked. They were speaking so quietly between them it was hard to make out what they were saying. Clint was watching out of the corner of his eye trying to stay discreet. I don’t think the pair would have noticed us anyway. They were so wrapped up in dancing with each other. 

“I don’t think you could tie your shoes without me,” Pepper joked. The tension starting to ease out of her shoulders. She lent closer into Tony as they danced.

“I’d make it a week,” Tony sounded so sure of himself. Whatever he’d been doing these last few months he certainly looked a lot healthier than when I saw him last. 

“A week, really?” the smile on Pepper’s face grew at the small joke between them. “Whats your social security number?”

Who the hell remembers their social security number? I could remember for Air Force service number off the top of my head. But my social security number was written down in a few hundred places so I couldn’t lose it. It seems Tony had the same problem as me. It took him about 5 seconds of racking his brain before he came up with an answer.

“Five,” Tony’s voice sounded a little strangled as he got one number out.

“Five?” Pepper’s smile grew even more. Tony was right, she looked absolutely radiant tonight. “You’re missing just a couple of digits.”

In front of me Clint was biting his lip to contain his own humour. 

“Right, the other eight. I have you for the other eight,” Tony just smiled back at Pepper. 

“Ugh I’m done,” Clint lent forward towards me. “They aren’t doing anything exciting except Tony looks like he wants to go bone his assistant. How cliche.”

Clint dropped his hand off my hip and led me off the dance floor. We found Coulson still standing at the bar with his arms crossed. He was frowning over at where we’d just been dancing. I glanced over there and saw Pepper and Tony both leaving the dance floor and heading towards the balcony. 

“Did you finally pin him down?” Clint asked.

“Yes but I have this strange feeling that conversation wasn’t about out meeting on the 27th,” Coulson looked to Clint for confirmation. 

“No it definitely wasn’t, but I found out Stark’s social security number has a 5 in it,” Clint grinned. “Can we go?”

“Yes we can,” Coulson breathed out a sigh of relief. “I’m ordering room service and turning my phone off for tonight. Don’t trash your rooms. Remember check out is at 10am.”

~~~~

Clint and I behaved ourselves and didn’t trash our hotel rooms. By the time we got home it was Saturday afternoon. Natasha was feeling better but hadn’t moved far from the couch or bed since we were gone. Jared left for another mission before I got back. At least he’d sent me a text this time to let me know. Apparently my twin was feeling a bit guilty for not being around much these last few months. I didn’t mind. It was no different from when I was in the Air Force. 

What was left of the weekend rolled into a very lazy time for all of us. Natasha and I spent most of it curled up on the couch watching movies together. Lila and Cooper both had sleepovers, which I’m sure Laura had organised to keep the house quiet for Natasha. I hadn’t bothered going back to my empty apartment. It was just a reminder that Riley wasn’t home yet. 

Monday morning came far too soon after a relaxing weekend. Natasha still didn’t feel up to coming into work. It just left Clint and I to spar, work out and then come back to his place for the rest of the day. 

Tuesday came and went with much of the same. I was hoping Riley would have been home by now. At least finished the mission. But my phone was silent. Whatever they were doing must have taken longer than anticipated. I went home long enough to grab some clean clothes and straight back to Clint’s. Laura had to go back to work tonight and I was more than happy to help with the kids. Not that Clint needed it much. Lila and Cooper were so well trained that they’d go have a bath and into bed with minimal protests. Cooper was a good big brother and even got Lila ready for bed most nights. All I had to do was make sure no one drowned at bath time. Tuck them both in and kiss them good night. 

Wednesday passed the same except for Natasha coming to work and trying out a light workout. Her head could handle the motions of a gentle jog on the treadmill without too many worries. We all celebrated with ice cream afterwards. 

Thursday had me starting to get worried about the lack of contact from Riley. I knew he was off grid. But this was nearly a week he was gone now. Something must not be going well at all. My suspicions were confirmed when Coulson called the three of us into his office. 

“STRIKE Team Bravo have gotten themselves into a tangle,” Coulson said as soon as the door clicked closed behind Natasha. “They need immediate help and an extraction. I need you guys in the air within half an hour and I’ll brief you on the flight there via video comm. Any questions?”

“Where are we flying to?” My stomach formed an uncomfortable knot as the words sunk in. No wonder I hadn’t heard from Riley yet. What the hell was happening there that they were sending us in to help? It couldn’t be good if it was STRIKE Team Delta having to go in. 

“Syria,” Coulson kept his facial expression neutral. “Nat, are you fine to travel?”

“Yep,” as if to prove a point Natasha turned on her heel and marched straight for the door. “Meet you in the hanger.”

I didn’t wait for anything else from Coulson. I went straight after Natasha. I needed to get changed out of my sweaty gym clothes and head straight for the hanger to pre-flight. Hopefully with the urgency we needed to leave someone would already have a Quinjet powered up and ready to go. All I could think of right now as Riley. 

“He’ll be fine,” Natasha’s words broke through my hurried thoughts. “Just push everything from your mind right now and concentrate on getting us there. We’ll get cleared for priority so you can push the Quinjet as fast as needed. You like doing that.”

I chuckled briefly. Yep she was right there. I’d played around with speeds of up to Mach 1.92 in the Quinjet. It still felt like it was an easy cruising speed despite travelling at 1457MPH. If I was cleared to fly that fast I could be there in a few hours. The massive range on the fuel tanks of the Quinjet meant I’d only need to find somewhere within 500 miles to refuel before we came back to DC. We could be there in 5 hours. 

Getting changed and into the Quinjet was a hurried blur. Nothing really focused on my mind until I was actually in the air and heading out over the open ocean watching the speed on the Quinjet climb higher. I didn’t ease the throttle back at all until we were sitting on Mach 1.7.

“Kari, do you want to listen to the mission brief or just have us fill you in?” Clint asked, breaking through my concentration.

“Just fill me in,” I checked my altitude. If I climbed higher I’d get better fuel efficiency but I’d waste time on the actual climb. So I stayed at our current cruising altitude. Coulson’s voice came to life on the screen behind me. But I blocked it all out again and just concentrated and doing what I needed to do. Right now it was getting us to Syria as quickly as possible. 

If I wasn’t so tense about getting there, I’d be enjoying every second of being allowed to push the Quinjet like this. I hadn’t been allowed to since my training all those months ago with Ian. Time just flew by when you had so much to concentrate on while flying at this speed. It only felt like seconds before Clint came back into the cockpit.

“Short version,” Clint put a piece of paper down in front of me. It had 3 sets of coordinates on it. “Nat and I will do a HALO jump from the first set of coordinates. You’ll land at the second set, hike in on foot. Use your invisibility to not get caught. Third set is where Bravo team is holed up. We all get them. Help escort them out and we’re all set.”

“Easy,” I glanced back at Clint. “How many HALO drops have you done? And what altitude do you want to jump from?”

I’d never done a HALO drop. High Altitude, Low Opening parachute jumps were good for getting into places undetected. I’d be in airspace too high for anti aircraft missiles. Clint and Nat would be able to slip into the drop zone without any detection. It was a good plan instead of having the three of us miles away and all having to hike in.

“32,000 feet,” Clint grimaced. “Last time I did one, I blacked out and woke up being slammed face first into a tree. I can’t say they’re my favourite things. I’ve only done about a dozen of them.”

“Wuss,” I chuckled briefly. I glanced back to Natasha who was still reading something on the computer screen. “Is Nat good to jump?”

“We’re both good to go,” Clint gave me a small smile. “I’ll leave everything that you’re going to need in a pack at the back. The team is fine. They’re just got some bad intel and there’s a lot of hostile activity in the area. Evans decided to play it safe and call in backup. So take a deep breath and just get us there in one piece. Then you and your boyfriend can have your dinner.”

I rolled my shoulders and did as I was told. I took in a deep breath and let it out. Clint’s words reassured me a lot. I let the tension drain from me and pushed the Quinjet a little faster. This time I let the thrill of the power beneath me actually excite me. Things were fine. This could all be over in a few hours and we’d be getting our dinner.

It took another 4 hours to reach the drop point for Clint and Natasha. Both had been quiet and discussing plans between themselves leaving me to just concentrate on flying. The last 40 minutes had been even quieter with them both already strapped into oxygen masks breathing in pure oxygen. It helped eliminate all the nitrogen in the bloodstream, reducing the risk of decompression sickness. I pulled on my own oxygen mask as Clint opened the ramp. No words were needed as him and Natasha both went to the edge. There with no hesitation as they both stepped off the edge. I was glad to close the ramp before I got frostbite. 

My landing site was only about few minutes away. It was going to be one hell of a hike there for me. It didn’t take me long to descend. The Quinjet landed with a soft thump in the secluded canyon. Here in the eastern parts, close to the Iraq border, there wasn’t much else but sand and rocks. It was a pretty desolate and depressing place. I turned the cloaking on internally and left the ramp down. The way it would be easy enough to get back into in a big hurry. It was well into the small hours of the morning here now. There was a full moon, casting everything into shadows. At least I didn’t have to be stealthy. I dug around in the backpack that Clint had left sitting on the last chair, just like he said he would. I had a P30, with a few extra magazine and a GPS. Seriously Clint, you couldn’t just hand me those few things? I grumbled under my breath as I strapped the P30 onto my hip. Thigh holsters never fit me right. I didn’t want to spend the rest of the night stopping to hike it back up every 10 strides. I shoved the extra magazines in my pocket, then punched the coordinates into the GPS. I groaned at the screen now showing me the 12 mile hike I was about to take. If I set a cracking pace, I should be there in a little under 2 hours. Great. Jogging for 2 hours through the sand and up and down hills. Thank god I was fit. 

I hiked the hip holster a little higher up and stepped out into the cold night air. Taking in a deep breath, I started to jog in the direction the GPS was telling me. The steep climb out of the canyon made my legs ache long before the real jogging would take place.

I passed nothing on my way here. Just lots of sand, rocks and the occasional bush. The good news was without any decent sort of cover, an ambush would be hard to do in this sort of terrain. The bad news was that whoever the hostile force was, might not care about the lack of cover and ambush anyway. It would leave us out in the open as well. 

The closer I got to the rendezvous point with both teams, I went invisible like I was told to. There really was nothing around here. I jogged up another hill and the GPS was saying the coordinates were only a few hundred feet away. But there was nothing here except another small canyon. I was so caught up in looking for where Bravo team was holed up I didn’t notice the body camouflaged in the sand on the top of the hill. Tripping over a boot made me swear in surprise and let go of my invisibly. I quickly snatch the P30 out of the holster and pointed it at the now moving body. The sand fell away from the body, bringing out the back of a STRIKE uniform from the hole that’d be dug into.

“It's ok, it's only me,” Riley rolled onto his back and held his hands up quickly. I quickly dropped the gun away from him with a shaky laugh.

“Hi,” I fell down on the ground beside him. Riley rolled back onto his side and pulled me into a crushing hug. I wrapped my arms around him best I could and hugged him back just as hard. It was so good to see him here and in one piece. I didn’t care that we both stank and were covered in sand, dirt and god knows what else. It was just an enormous relief to be here in his arms.

“Hi yourself,” Riley chuckled. “It's so good to see you. Sorry I’m late.”

“Hope that dinner reservation is still good,” my voice was muffled against his chest.

“It is,” Riley pulled me away a little and pressed his lips to mine briefly. “Saturday night. You gonna get us home in time?”

“Of course,” I scoffed playfully. I leant forward and gave Riley another kiss. “I’ve missed you like crazy.”

“Hang on a second, I’ll be in trouble I don’t report this is,” Riley chuckled and reached up to touch his ear. “Evans, Kari is here. Should I send her down?”

I waited patiently while we got our orders. In the dark I could see Riley pulling faces at whatever Evans was saying. I smiled and buried myself back into his chest. Riley tightened his free arm back around and kissed the top of my head. 

“Ok, copy that,” Riley dropped his hand. He pulled me in as close as we could possibly get. “Evans said to wait here. They’re heading out now.”

“So we have, 2 minutes alone?” I grinned. I didn’t wait for Riley’s reply. I tipped my head up and pressed my lips against his. Riley didn’t waste anytime. He teased his tongue along my lips. I eagerly matched him. Man I couldn’t wait to get home. 

“Sadly not 2 minutes,” Riley reluctantly pulled away. “I can hear them coming now.”

We dragged ourselves away from each other. It was a great effort to get to my feet, brushing the sand off me. As I brushed myself off I looked back down into the canyon. Dark shapes could be made out in the bright moonlight. They were all moving quickly. I could see the outline of the STRIKE Team, guns raised as they scanned the surroundings. Clint was hanging at the back. He was unmistakable with his bow. I couldn’t see the slight figure of Natasha anywhere though. The towering bodies in a tight group would make it hard to see her anyway. Riley bent down and picked up his CheyTac that was still sitting in the sand.

“So what happened?” I asked Riley quietly as we waited for our respective teams to reach us. 

“We’d done a snatch and grab,” Riley inclined his head towards the centre of the group. It wasn’t hard to make out the person that was being carefully guarded. “A SHIELD scientist that ended up in the wrong hands. The mission was far too easy to get him out of where he was. Ever since then we’ve been tailed and had a few small skirmishes. This area of the country is supposed to be cleared of militia. But it isn’t. So we’ve been dodging attacks and trying to get over the border. But it’s just been too hot. Evans called in for back up, and here you are. I have to admit. I was expecting Rumlow or one of the other STRIKE teams. Not you guys.”

By the time Riley had finished speaking, the rest of the team had caught up to us.

“Kari, you take front and direct us back to the Quinjet,” Evans instructed as he came up to us. “Riley, in the back as usual.”

The light mood was gone. Riley snapped straight into work mode and did as he was told without any jokes or questions. I pulled the GPS from where I’d shoved it in my pocket and quickly recalculated the route. My legs were already burning from the jog here. Another 2 hours of this was going to be a living hell. But at least Riley would be home to rub my aching legs at the end of it. That thought gave me my second wind. The sooner we got back to the Quinjet, the sooner we’d get home. I was really curious about where Riley had planned for dinner as well. He normally wasn’t this secretive. 

“This way,” I turned to my left a few degrees and pointed in the direction I’d just come from. My legs screamed in protest as I started to jog again. Dammit. So much for my second wind.

It was mind numbing to be doing nothing but lead the way. I was well covered so there was no need to be checking my surroundings. Evans stayed right on my heels the entire time. All I had to do was keep us on the path and keep jogging. No one spoke. Or if they did it was brief and to the point. Everyone was just trying to save their breath and get back to the Quinjet as quickly as possible. The barest streaks of grey were just starting to appear on the horizon as the canyon where the Quinjet was parked came into view. Inwardly I was cheering. The end was in sight. 

A shot ringing out across the plains ended that cheer very quickly. I felt myself being yanked backwards and thrown to the ground. Landing face first, I coughed as I inhaled a mouthful of sand. I stared up at Evans back from my position on the ground. 

“Contact left!” Evans voice rang out clearly. I went to stagger to my feet but I felt another weight collide into my back, keeping me pressed down. 

“Stay down,” Natasha hissed in my ear. “Wait until we’re moving again.”

“Who’d they shoot?” I coughed trying to clear my mouth. Yuck. Voices and shots were going off around us all blurring into what now felt like background noise. A few shots pinged into the sand close to Natasha and I. Bodies closed around us forming a human barrier. 

“The scientist,” Natasha’s hair was tickling down into my face. She was laying on my back, head bent down over my shoulder. “We aren’t dressed for this situation.”

Her joking tone made me snort in amusement. Trust Natasha to make a joke in the middle of a fire fight. She wasn’t wrong though. STRIKE Team Bravo were all heavily armed and in full body armour. Natasha was in her usual jump suit. I was in a long sleeve black shirt and cargo pants. Neither of us had any protection. Even Clint put on a light armoured vest before they left the Quinjet. 

“Move,” Natasha’s fist bunched in my shirt as she gave it a yank. I didn’t need any further encouragement. I was on my feet in a heartbeat, P30 out and ready to use. I jumped back and knocked into Natasha as a shot hit right at my feet. I didn’t know where to aim. There was too much fire coming in from all directions. 

“Get Kari to the Quinjet so we can get the fuck out of here,” Evans yelled back at us. 

I grabbed Natasha’ hand and squeezed my eyes shut. I let the invisibility take hold and a second later tugged Natasha’s hand after me. My aching legs were long forgotten as we bolted across the flat plain and scrambled up the last incline towards the Quinjet. I dared to sneak a look over my shoulder as he reached the top of the hill. STRIKE Team Bravo and Clint weren’t far behind us. At the back of the group, Clint was shooting arrows as quickly as he could fire them. Riley had given up on his CheyTac and had his own Glock out. I don’t know what happened but Riley suddenly pushed Clint forward, sending Clint sprawling to the ground. Riley staggered briefly, but regained his footing quickly.

“Come on!”

A combination of Natasha’s voice and my inattentiveness made the invisibility impossible to maintain. I swore as we were suddenly sitting ducks up here on the ridge. A rain of bullet hailed down on us. I grabbed both of us and did the first thing to come to mind. One hand went up and I made an ice shield form around us. All fire ceased immediately as I pushed it around us. It wasn’t much but it was enough to stop us getting shot at from where the majority of fire seemed to be coming from.

“Go, go GO!” I shoved Natasha in the brief interlude. In my haste, I shoved a little too hard. The motion was enough to send Natasha tumbling down the incline. I scrambled after her swearing loudly at my own stupidity. She stopped only a few feet down. But the awkward angle I’d sent her down wasn’t going to do her body any favours. When I reached her, I could see her ankle sticking out at the wrong angle.

“I’m going to fucking kill you,” Natasha snarled at me through gritted teeth. 

“Later, I promise,” I yanked her back to her feet, not unlike she’d just done to me. She staggered as she tried to put weight on the wonky ankle. I just grabbed her arm, throwing it around me so she could lean into me. Bullets had started to rain down on us again. We had no time to waste. Thank god I remember exactly where the Quinjet was, despite it being cloaked. I was so glad I was smart enough to leave the ramp down. 

I dragged Natasha with me and shoved her to the ground as soon as we hit the Quinjet. I’d apologise for it later. If her ankle was broken I’d even go and be her slave for the next 6 weeks for it. This was my fuck up for taking too long to look when we’d reached the ridge. The rest of the team were right behind me. I ran to the pilot seat and threw myself into the chair, not bothering to strap myself in. I uncloaked it, which was probably unnecessary. A few Bravo guys were right behind us. I frantically powered the Quinjet up. I cringed as a bullet sounded like it hit the windscreen right in front of me. Here’s hoping no one had a rocket launcher. It was probably only seconds but it felt like hours until the last guys made into the back. 

“Go!” Clint yelled as he and Riley made it up the ramp last hitting the button to close it. I didn’t need to be told twice. Bullets were pinging off the Quinjet still. I was worried I was going to lose something important. Then we’d be toast. I had us in the air instantly, even though it was very rough. The Quinjet bounced as I hit some nasty turbulence from the rocky take off. Even I thought I was going to be sick from it. The sound of barely concealed retching was heard a few times as we rocked through the air. Once we hit altitude the jet levelled out into a smooth flight. I was still breathing heavily from the rush of it all. I glanced over to the back to see everyone either sprawled out over the floor, or kind of half sitting in the seats. Clint’s gaze caught mine and he shook his head letting out a short laugh. Fuck me that had been close.

The laughter was contagious. Soon all of the guys were laughing quietly at our sheer luck of getting out of there. Fucked didn’t quite begin to describe what just happened. Thank god we all made it out of there alive and unscathed. I turned so I could see everything in the back properly. Everyone had found a seat by now. Whether it was on a chair or on the floor, at least everyone was sitting. Except for Riley. He was standing to the side looking pale. He was the only one not laughing. I frowned and shot him a questioning look. He grimaced and grabbed his side. I didn’t miss what little colour was left in his face draining as he pulled his hand away. 

“Riley?” I called out to get his attention. His head snapped up to me, worry filled his face. It was then I saw his hand was covered in blood. 

“Fuck,” was the only word Riley got out before he collapsed.

“Clint!” I screamed, hitting the autopilot and falling out of my chair in haste to get to the back. I scrambled back to my feet and ran the 7 steps it took to get where Riley was. In the brief time it’d taken me to get there, Clint was already barking orders at everyone.

“Get an IV line in, fluids and pain relief ” Clint commanded as he ripped the body armour and Riley’s clothes off with his bare hands with some assistance from his knife. “Riley, stay with us man.”

“I did it again,” Riley groaned. I couldn’t tell if it was from his bad luck, or pain. “Kari?”

“Right here,” I pushed my way through the team who were helping Clint. No one argued with me as I knelt beside Riley. He reached his hand out and I gripped it hard. “Where?”

“Left side, I don’t even remember getting hit,” Riley squeezed his eyes shut tightly for a moment before opening them again. “Hurts now though.”

“Just stay with me,” I said firmly. “We’ll be back to base in 15 minutes. When did you get hit?”

“I think when I pushed Barton aside,” Riley blinked rapidly as if he was trying to focus. “Don’t know, didn’t feel anything.”

Clint had pulled away the last of Riley shirt. A gush of blood erupted from his side and someone hastily smacked a dressing over it. The dressing was soaked through in a few seconds. I didn’t miss the look Clint gave me. This wasn’t good. My stomach dropped as I looked back to Riley. He’d already lost all of his colour, even his lips had turned blue. He was shivering violently. None of us needed a medical degree to know Riley was bleeding out internally right in front of us. And there wasn’t a damn thing we could do to stop it. One of the other guys from his team was desperately trying to pump blood clotting drug into him but it wasn’t stopping the flow of blood coming. There was a scarily large pool of it within seconds all over the floor. 

“Hey,” Riley’s voice was strained. I turned my attention back to him with a forced smile. “There’s something in my locker back at the Triskelion for you.”

“It better be that bag of Reese's Pieces you stole off me last week,” I joked weakly squeezing his hand harder. “And you’re going to giving to me to yourself. We’ve got dinner plans, remember?”

I was only vaguely aware of Natasha come to squat next to me. I could feel her hand gripping my arm tightly in support.

“I love you,” Riley said quietly looking up at me. The look on his face tore me up inside. He didn’t have to voice his concerns. He already knew what was happening. “I love you so much. I didn’t want for it to end this way.”

“It’s not going to end this way,” the words stuck in my throat and it was hard to get them out. “We’re going to go home and get our happily ever after. I promise I’ll even start doing the laundry more often.”

Riley just chuckled and squeezed my hand. His own strength was going. I looked to Clint who was shaking his head at me. We didn’t have a lot of time left. I lent down and kissed Riley. Hard, as if my kiss was going to breath more life into him. Riley barely had the energy left to respond. But he did. His wavering strength made me realise that this was it. This was all we were ever going to get. We’d spoken of this. I knew it was a real possibility in our line of work. I just never expected it to ever happen. 

“Don’t leave me,” I whispered. “I love you.”

“I love you more than you can ever imagine,” Riley struggled for breath now. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, just hold on,” the words were so hard to force out. I could feel my entire chest tighten with watching the scene in front of me. “Stay with me. Please.”

No begging was going to help anymore. I didn’t think a person could go so pale. My hands were shaking as Riley’s grip loosened on my hand. 

“Promise me you’ll look after Kari for me Clint,” Riley struggled to get the words out. He didn’t even have to energy to look to look at Clint. Not that I wanted him too. In his last moments Riley seemed to be memorising my face. I was doing exactly the same. I already knew that this was going to be the last time we’d see each other. 

“Always,” Clint fell to his knees on the other side of Riley. He grabbed his spare hand and squeezed it tightly. “I’ll keep her skinny ass out of trouble for you.”

Riley let out a very weak chuckle. With what remaining strength he had left he squeezed my hand. I squeezed it back as hard as I could.

“I love you,” Riley whispered again. “So much.”

His hand loosened from mine despite my attempt to keep a hold of it. The world stopped around me as Riley took one more shuddering breath.

And then he was gone. 

Just like that, in a blink of an eye. The only person I had ever let myself fall in love with was gone. It felt like a hand was squeezing my chest. I could barely breath. My mind stopped functioning as I just stared at Riley. I couldn’t process what just happened. I didn’t want to believe he’d just died in front of me. 

“Kari,” Clint’s hand landed on my shoulder. I couldn’t cry. I wouldn’t let myself cry right here and now. It wasn't going to happen. An alert started to beep from the cockpit. It was the incoming aircraft alert. We weren’t in friendly territory just yet. Forcing everything that just happened from my mind I scrambled back to the cockpit. All the training from Natasha was now coming in handy. I threw up a mental block around everything that just happened. I couldn’t think about it. If I did we all might be dead in less than a minute.

“629 Bravo, we have unidentified incoming,” I immediately opened a radio channel to the SHIELD communications. “Requesting immediate assistance.”

On my radar 2 other aircraft had come up. Both heading directly towards the Quinjet at a high speed. Oh god. Where were we actually? I don’t even remember putting in coordinations for a flight path. I just kind of got us in the air and let the Quinjet fly itself.

“Unidentified aircraft, this is the United States Air Force armed Raptors heading directly for you. You are in violation of restricted airspace. Squawk ident.”

I shuddered in relief hearing the pilot over the radio. I opened our own radio channel for all frequencies. 

“Raptor Pilot this is 629 Bravo, Agent Lyngley of SHIELD, ident and authenticate, Whiskey, Zulu, 1.0.9er.4.3.9er,” I tried not to sound too breathless over the radio. Around here it only took a mile or two in the wrong direction and we could be shot down in a heartbeat. With the cloaking turned off, I’d just made us into perfect targets. Thank god it was our own Air Force that found us first.

“629 Bravo, ident received and copied. This is Sabre 1. Do you require any assistance?” the voice of the Raptor pilot came over the radio. For a second I wondered if it would be anyone I knew. Shaking my head I focused back on the task at hand.

“Sabre 1, requesting escort to nearest base. We require immediate medical attention on board,” I forced myself not to look back. Medical attention was coming too late for Riley. The rest of the team were still battered and messed up though. I could feel the burn of a bullet graze on my right side. I hadn’t felt it until now. It must have been just before I’d managed to shield Natasha and I from the worst of the gun fire.

“Camp Cooke is our closest base of Operations, you are cleared to follow 629 Bravo.”

The Raptor flew past us at high speed, making a large sweeping turn until the Raptor was directly in front of us. The 2nd Raptor came up on my right side, flying close enough I could just make out the Pilot in the cockpit. I gave him a thumbs up, which the Pilot returned before backing off to a greater distance. My hands shook on the controls and I forced myself to look straight ahead, blocking out everything else. I had to do this. I had to focus on flying otherwise I felt like I was going to fall apart and never be able to be put back together again. 

“629 Bravo, this is Sabre 2,” the voice over the radio made me look towards the Raptor on right side. The pilot had brought the Raptor up close to the Quinjet again. “Any chance that’s you Knuckles?”

“Depends on who’s asking Sabre 2,” I said carefully. Even I didn’t know the official story of what was told to my old squadron after what happened. My guess is they would have been told I was dead, or debriefed that the situation would never leave the room. SHIELD were very good with their threats.

“That would be Captain Hughes,” the voice clicked in my head on who I was speaking to. He was First Lieutenant when I knew him though. With a ridiculous callsign it wasn’t hard to forget him.

“Hey Frogger,” I said sending him a wave. “Congratulations on the promotion.”

“Thanks Knuckles,” he chuckled. “Base has just radioed us because they can’t operate your frequency. What should medical expect on the ground?”

“One casualty,” I swallowed hard before forcing myself to continue. “A few possible broken bones, minor GSW. We’re all pretty messed up.”

“Copy that, sorry to hear about your casualty.”

I closed my eyes. My throat was too tight to reply. This was going to be the longest flight I had ever done in my life. 

“You ok?” Clint’s voice made me jump. I just looked at him in the reflection of the glass. He’d come up to me and was leaning heavily on the co-pilot seat. He looked so exhausted. If he wasn't leaning on the chair I don’t know if he’d be able to stand unassisted. It wasn’t until I caught sight of his left arm which made my stomach churn.

“You’re bleeding, get someone to bandage it up,” I said shortly noticing the blood dripping from his left arm. Clint glanced to his arm, only just noticing the injury. He clamped his hand over the wound.

“Kari,” Clint tried again and I cut him off.

“I’m busy, get out of the cockpit Barton,” I snapped. Angry was good. I needed to be angry so I didn’t cry. “We’ll be landing at Camp Cooke. If you want to be useful get on the radio and let someone know that.”

Clint just stared at me looking completely lost. Sending a hard glare in his direction, he sat down in the co-pilot seat grabbing the radio. 

“This is Hawkeye, someone patch me through to Agent Coulson immediately.”

 

 

I sat up on the roof of the buildings, shivering against the cold wind. Spring didn’t seem to have touched this part of the world yet. It was freezing cold in the night air on top of the barracks we’d been given. I sniffed and took a long drink from the bottle of vodka I had in my hands. Camp Cooke was meant to be a dry base. But if you looked hard enough, and anywhere that any kind of special forces were at work, you could find alcohol. Being able to go invisible sure had it’s advantages sometimes.

Everything felt numb. Completely and utterly numb. That wasn’t just from the half of bottle of vodka I’d finished either. I just couldn’t make myself feel anything. There was a horrible tightness in my chest that wouldn’t go away. My throat felt like someone was squeezing it my effort to keep my tears at bay.

“Kari?” Clint’s voice made me turn. His figure was silhouetted against the light in the doorway.

“Here,” I said simply, turning away from the bright light. I didn’t really want the company. But I wasn’t going to hide from my team either. Natasha had looked as devastated as I had felt when it happened. She had disappeared as soon as we landed and I hadn't seen her since. She had her own way of dealing with things that even Clint wouldn’t intrude on. My guess was she wasn’t anywhere near medical either. Clint had punched the wall of the building so hard when we walked in it’d left a fist imprint in the wood. Coulson was on his way and we wouldn’t be debriefed until he arrived. The rest of Bravo team were silent in their shock of what happened back there. Sam had broken down into a sobbing mess as soon as we were off the tarmac. Evans didn’t look in much better shape emotionally as they helped him back up and ushered Sam away to privacy. 

“Hey,” Clint came and sat beside me. I didn’t say anything to him. I just kept staring straight ahead watching the world go on in front of me. Camp Cooke was always busy. I’d been here a few times while I was in the Air Force. What I hadn’t known then, was that SHIELD kept its own small contingency of agents here. Stretched in front of me I could clearly see the runway lights glowing in the night sky. A C-130 hadn’t long landed and workers scuttled around it. Like tiny little ants in the distance. My world might have just felt like it had fallen apart. But the world around me kept on spinning.

“Did you go to medical?” Clint asked as he stretched his legs out. His left arm was bandaged and he was sitting awkwardly. His right leg as sticking out at an awkward angle, like he was avoiding the back of his thigh touching the ground. 

“Yeah I’m fine,” I unconsciously rubbed my right side where I’d been barely grazed with a bullet. I hadn’t gone to medical, but it’d stopped bleeding long ago. I’d cleaned it up in the bathroom before I’d started my prowl around the base for alcohol. I’d purposely avoided Clint for the rest of the day.

“Yeah you went, or yeah you think its fine?” Clint pushed. He was staring at me intently, I could feel all the emotions clearly on his face. His own grief was there, along with concern and guilt. I shouldn’t have been surprised that Clint had found me up here. I had completely shut him out back in the Quinjet. 

I shrugged. Words were sticking in my throat. Even if I wanted to talk, I don’t think I could form the words. 

“Talk to me please Kari,” Clint sighed. “You need to talk to someone about this.”

“What is there to say?” I shrugged again. My voice came out hoarse and scratchy. I took another sip of vodka to try and make it go away. The vodka was the only thing I could feel at the moment. It burnt the entire way down my throat and into my stomach. 

“If you don’t have anything to say, then do something,” Clint kept pushing. “Punch me, slap me, I don’t care. Just do something besides sitting there drowning yourself in a vodka bottle.”

I don’t know what started to make my walls crumble down. Those bricks I had so hastily jammed up when Riley had taken his last breath suddenly all fell apart. I felt my bottom lip start to tremble as tears made my eyes burn. My hands shook on the vodka bottle and it dropped to the ground.

“I’ve got you,” Clint grabbed me before I could do anything else. I tried to swallow back the sob that followed everything but it didn’t work. Tears started to fall down my face as much as I didn’t want them to. I wrapped my arms around Clint’s neck burying my face into his shoulder as I started to cry. It was like a dam bursting, once the crack appeared there was no stopping it. I’ve never cried so hard in my life. My heart just felt like someone had ripped it from my body and shattered it into a million pieces. It hurt. It physically hurt so badly I felt like I could barely breath.

“I’ll always be here for you,” Clint whispered into my hair. “That I promise. No matter what.”

Clint rocked me gently as I cried. Through my own harsh sobs I could feel his ragged breaths as he struggled to control his own emotions. I knew it wasn’t just me hurting. I hoped where ever Natasha was, she was finding some small bit of comfort. Losing Riley hurt so badly. I hated myself for getting carried away in the stupid fantasy I’d gotten so caught up in over the last 7 months. Why couldn’t I just have a happy life? Why did it always seem to crumble in my hands whenever I felt some semblance of happiness. I wanted to scream about the injustice of it all. Why Riley? He was a good person, what did he ever do to deserve this?

“I don’t want this,” I sobbed. “Make it go away.”’

“I would if I could Kari,” the emotion in Clint’s voice was so raw. I wasn’t surprised to feel a few tears from him leaking onto my face and blending into mine. “God I’d give anything to make this right for you. I’m so sorry this is all my fault.”

I just shook my head. I couldn’t find the breath to talk again. This wasn’t Clint’s fault, even Riley wasn’t sure when he’d been hit. Adrenaline was a blessing and curse at the same time. I hadn’t even felt my bullet graze. In turn Riley hadn’t felt the high calibre bullet that had ricocheted through his body. This wasn’t anybodies fault except for the idiots who thought it would be a good idea to kidnap a high value SHIELD scientist. 

“I was distracted,” Clint continued. “I wasn’t paying attention to my surroundings. Riley shouldn’t have had to save my ass.”

“If it wasn’t you it would have been someone else,” I sniffed. “You know him, always looking out for everyone else before himself.”

Those words hurt the most. It was true. It was just the person Riley was. It could have been me he pushed out of the way one day. We’d talked about this. We had to. This is a crazy life we had and I was well aware of the risks of what came with it. Words were easy to say when you never thought that they’d ever come true. 

“How do you do it Clint?” I asked pulling my face away from Clint’s chest. “This job, knowing what you’ve got at home waiting for you.”

I rubbed my eyes trying to stop the tears. It wasn’t helping, the tears just continued to fall down my face. 

“I don’t know,” Clint’s voice was hoarse. “I really don’t know anymore. But I don’t know anything else.”

We both sat there in silence. I clung back into Clint like he was the only thing from keeping me falling apart as I cried. There was a faint change in the air and suddenly Jared was in front of us. 

“Jesus, Clint what happened?” Jared’s eyes were wide and he was pale “Nat?”

“Riley, it was Riley” Clint continued to rock me gently as hearing his name just made me cry even harder. I buried my head back into Clint’s shoulder sobbing my heart out. 

“Oh god,” I felt Jared collapse next to me. His own grief stung me as hard as my own as I fell into my twin’s embrace without another word. There were no words to describe how I was feeling right now. But my entire world just like it was crumpling down around me. Again.


	36. Chapter 36

I sat at an empty table in the mess the next morning. I had a minor hangover and I felt like shit for crying so much last night. My eyes felt gritty and felt like they would stick together every time I blinked. My mouth was fuzzy, matching the feeling in my head perfectly. I absently stirred my coffee, slumped in my seat resting my head in my hand watching the liquid swirl around. The food on my tray sat untouched as I couldn’t bring myself to eat it.

I cried so much last night I don’t even remember passing out. A combination of exhaustion, lack of sleep and vodka knocked me out cold for a solid night sleep. I didn’t dream. It was just I was crying on the roof with Jared one moment and the next I was waking up on the bed. I woke up about 20 minutes ago, on a bed with Natasha curled up against my back. Jared and Clint were both asleep on the floor. Both of them looked incredibly uncomfortable. No one moved a muscle when I got up. I wasn’t exactly quiet as I left the room either.

I just wanted to go home. Our flight back wasn’t until Coulson got here. Whenever that would be. No matter how much I begged Jared last night just to teleport me back he wouldn’t budge on the matter. He’d broken enough orders by being here, let alone taking me away without the clearance to do it. Right now I’d give anything to just disappear from the face of the planet for an undisclosed amount of time and wallow in my grief.

“You look fucking terrible,” a familiar voice said just before a tray was slammed down on the table.

I glanced up at Captain Gareth Hughes who hadn’t changed a bit from when I last saw him. Except for his Captain rank on his uniform. He still sported the same typical short back and sides military haircut on his dark brown hair. Still had the same tanned skin and grey eyes. He was one of the rare few from my old squadron that actually made me feel included in everything. He was a nice guy, married and had a kid on the way when I last saw him.

“Good morning to you too,” I said with a forced smile. “Leave me and my hangover alone.”

My hangover really wasn’t that bad. It was just the emotions that came with it all that made everything worse. I was trying my best this morning to keep everything squashed down. I’d cried a lifetime of tears last night. I didn’t want to do it again.

“How you found something to drink on a dry base I will never know,” Gareth teased me lightly. “I think I’m actually jealous.”

“Super spy,” I said as a matter of explanation “Well, in training anyway.”

“It wouldn’t have anything to do with some Delta Force guys having a fit over a missing bottle of vodka would it?” Gareth asked innocently. “The male barracks were pretty fucking noisy last night.”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” if I’d been in the mood I might have smiled at that. “Then again you’d be amazed at what SHIELD can do.”

“Not really, especially not after dealing with them last year,” Gareth said dryly. “So its Agent Lyngley now?”

“Yeah” I felt awkward with this conversation. I fiddled with the food on my plate, not really feeling up to a conversation. Or food for that matter. I don’t even know why I’d bothered with a plate. My stomach was a knot of anxiety and tension. It felt like I’d never be able to eat again.

“Yeah can’t do it,” Gareth said lightly. “You’ll always be Knuckles to me.”

That dragged my gaze back up to him. Gareth had a small smile on his face as he studied me. Despite the circumstances on being here, it was good to see an old face. If nothing else Gareth could always have been good for a laugh. He was the squadron joker. He could never really take anything too seriously. I never thought I’d actually see any of them ever again. But here he was, sitting across from me dressed in casual civilian clothing.

“Trust me I still go looking around for my brother when someone calls out Agent Lyngley,” I said feeling one corner of my mouth pull up in a semblance of a smile. Wasn’t that the truth. Even after 8 months in SHIELD it still took me a second longer than it should to realise it was me being spoken to. “It’s weird for me still. I’m surprised you knew I was still alive.”

“We were all threatened with death if we ever said anything about what happened,” Gareth explained. “Pretty good incentive not to talk. I have a feeling SHIELD can make people disappear pretty easily.”

“That they can.”

“So what brings SHIELD to this side of the world?” Gareth asked as he sipped his own coffee. “Or is it super secret spy business?”

“Not really, just the same shit we used to hear about from all different special ops guys,” I finally made myself take a drink of coffee as well. It slid down my throat and my stomach contracted sightly. I pushed the feeling of wanting to be sick far from my mind. If I didn’t think about it, maybe it wouldn’t come true. “Except this time I’m actually one of the black ops people.”

“Nice,” Gareth grinned as me. I could only return the smile weakly as the coffee sat in my stomach uncomfortably. “Still putting those mad ass shooting skills of yours to good use?”

“How the fuck did you sneak out so quietly!” An angry spew of Russian words came from behind me. I cringed as Natasha slammed a coffee cup down next to me with such force, a lot of it splashed out. She dropped into the seat next to me with a glare to make most grown men tremble. Thankfully, I wasn’t a man.

“Good morning my little ray of sunshine,” I couldn’t help the snipe that escaped from my mouth in Russian as well. “Glad to see you so happy and cheerful.”

Natasha stared from beside me like I’d just grown a second head. Across from me Gareth was doing exactly the same, with his eyebrows raised. Natasha’s face instantly softened as her eyes roamed over my own face. From the brief look I had in the mirror this morning, Gareth wasn’t wrong about me looking terrible.

“Is he bothering you?” Natasha asked in Russian. Her eyes quickly flicked over to Gareth.

“Nat, this is Frogger…Sorry Captain Gareth Hughes,” I quickly corrected myself back in English so we weren't being rude. “Gareth, this is Agent Natasha Romanoff.”

“Frogger?” Natasha arched a delicate eyebrow staring at my former work colleague. Gareth was doing his best to hide his obvious attraction while he checked Natasha out. “This sounds like an interesting story.”

I took another sip of coffee as Garth opened his mouth to explain.

“Did you go to medical?” Natasha cut him off and turned her attention right back to me.

“What for?” I asked. I wanted to apologise to Gareth for how Natasha just ignored him. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Despite my smart reply before, I just couldn’t muster myself to feel anything but slightly disinterested in everything today. Disinterested was so much better than crying.

Natasha drove her elbow into my side. Right where the bullet had grazed me. Pain shot through me as I gripped the table so hard my knuckles turned white.

“That,” Natasha frowned at me. My fingers itch to rub the now burning reminder on my side. At least the clean shirt I’d found this morning was black. I’m pretty sure Natasha had just opened up the minor wound. I could feel something leaking out of it.

“Thanks Nat,” I grumbled grabbing a napkin. I winced as I pulled my shirt up and inspected the graze. It wasn’t bad, about an inch wide and not deep enough to require stitches. I held my shirt up as I put the napkin against the wound. It was bleeding a little bit. But nothing some light pressure wouldn’t stop. Natasha glanced down at the wound giving it a brief inspection. Her brief nod at it let me know I was off the hook for not getting it checked out. There was also an apology behind her green eyes. I knew she hadn’t meant to make it bleed on purpose.

“You’re welcome,” Natasha didn’t look perturbed as she turned back to her coffee, and Gareth. “So, why Frogger?”

“Because in pilot training I had a bad habit of making my plane hop on landing,” Gareth looked between Natasha and I obviously confused about the sudden change in subject. I didn’t miss him looking at my side before dragging his eyes away. “Apparently it looked like a frog.”

“Kari, Nat,” Coulson’s voice made both our heads snap towards the sound of it. Our handler looked exhausted as he came into the mess. I quickly dropped my shirt so I didn’t have Coulson stressing over a minor flesh wound as well.

“That’s my cue to leave,” I stood up and drained my coffee quickly. I forced myself not to gag as my body wanted to rebel against the action. “Thanks for the escort Frogger.”

“You’re welcome,” Gareth smiled at me. “Nice to meet you Agent Romanoff.”

“Likewise,” Natasha stood up with me. Without another word, she put her hand on the small of my back and I let myself be pushed away by her firm motion. She was still limping heavily from whatever damage I’d done when I pushed her down the slope yesterday. But at least her ankle wasn’t broken. Coulson moved so we were standing outside of the mess. Away from prying ears and eyes.

“Hey,” Coulson seemed to be completely lost for words. For the first time I’d know him he just stood there and struggled to make any sound. But when he did, his entire cool facade nearly crumpled right in front of me. “Kari, I am so sorry.”

Seeing the unflappable Phil Coulson nearly brought to tears was enough for me. Despite my constant telling myself ever since I got out of bed this morning that I wouldn’t cry today. The tears started to fall again. I covered my mouth the stop the strangled sob escaping from my throat. I wanted the lie of saying I was fine slip out. But my emotions had a different idea.

“Come here,” Coulson grabbed me and pulled me into a tight hug. I managed to pull myself under control quickly enough. Right in front of the mess there were too many people watching. I pulled away wiping my face. Behind me Natasha was rubbing my back around in circles. She slipped an arm around me as I pulled away from Coulson.

“Do you want me to get anyone?” Coulson rubbed his hand up and down my bare arm. “I can get Jared and go and get your Mom.”

“No,” I shook my head. “I just want to go home.”

Home. I don’t even know where home is going to be anymore. I couldn’t even bring myself to think of going back to our empty apartment. Every nook and cranny of the space was going to remind me of Riley. There were too many memories there. Too much happiness as a painful reminder that I’d never get to see Riley again. My chest tightened again and I fought back the second set of tears that threatened.

“We’re just refuelling the Quinjets,” Coulson explained. He hesitated before continuing. “We need to do the debrief on the way back. Dr Garner is waiting back in DC. Why don’t you go grab a shower while we’re waiting. I grabbed a bag for all of you.”

A shower didn’t sound like a terrible idea. I nodded in agreement, wiping at my face to chase away any traces of tears on my cheeks. I’d washed my face briefly this morning but beyond that I was still pretty gross.

“Come on Kari,” Natasha gently led me away. “I need a shower too.”

It was a good distraction. Standing in the shower letting the warm water caress down my body. I just wished I could wash away the crushing grief as easily as the dirt. Natasha was in the stall beside me, talking about nothing in particular. It wasn’t until she’d switched to Russian I was actually forced to concentrate instead of making appropriate noises in what I hoped was the right place. Neither of us rushed. There was no point rushing. It's not like anyone was going to leave without us.

Clint and Jared were outside waiting for us. Both of them looked hungover and utterly exhausted. I guess I know where the rest of my stolen vodka went. They’d already showered and looked a least a little fresher.

“Coulson said to meet us at the tarmac,” Jared slung his arm around my shoulder. I leant against him, glad for his support. “Lets go home.”

Jared stayed glued to my side the entire walk there. None of us spoke. There just wasn’t any words to say. When we hit the tarmac, everyone was already there. Minus Evans. The STRIKE Team Bravo leader wasn’t anywhere to be seen.

“Where’s Troy?” I asked hoarsely as I looked over all the faces I knew so well. The team looked as bad as I felt. Riley’s death would have hit everyone hard. It wasn’t just me

“He would have taken any flight back he could get,” Jared’s grip tightened on me momentarily. “He…”

Jared audibly gulped before taking a deep breath. Seeing my own twin struggling with his grief was nearly enough to make me cry again. I took in my own deep breath trying to ease my tight chest.

“He’s the one breaking the news to Riley’s mom,” Jared’s voice sounded very forced as he tried to stay normal.

“Oh.”

Its all I could manage. I never thought about that. God, poor Evans. I don’t know how I was going to even face Lynette. I couldn’t imagine being the one to deliver the terrible news to her. Lynette was going to be crushed. First Riley’s dad, and now Riley.

There were 4 SHIELD pilots standing off to the side, ignoring the rest of us. I frowned at how many of them there were. I knew it was fairly standard to have 2 pilots for long flights. Clint doubled as my co-pilot if I needed him, so I never had another pilot with me. There should’t be the need for another flight team. I could fly the Quinjet home. Coulson was standing to the side, talking to one of the pilots. A flash of irritation shot through me looking at them. What the hell? I shrugged Jared’s arm off me and walked over the Coulson.

“What’s up?” Coulson cut the pilot off mid sentence as I stalked over to them.

“Why are there 2 flight teams here?” I asked shortly. “I don’t need a co-pilot.”

“You are not flying home,” Coulson shook his head immediately. “Not a chance in hell Kari.”

“But,” I started.

“You’re exhausted, hungover if I’m not mistaken,” Coulson cut me off. He crossed his arms and looked at me critically. “Your boyfriend was just KIA in front of you. I’m surprised to even see you standing to be honest, let alone moving.”

“I’m fine,” I growled. Inwardly I was surprised at how fucking irritated this had just made me. But angry and irritated was better than the hollow feeling of absolutely nothing. Or the crushing grief that kept trying to sink its claws into me. “I am not sitting in the back of the Quinjet being airsick and miserable when I’m perfectly capable of piloting it myself.”

My ire rose with every word slipping from my lips. Coulson’s expression didn’t change, he just stood there staring at me. The SHIELD pilots warily backed away from the confrontation starting to unfold. Behind me I could feel someone else standing close by.

“Perfectly capable?” Coulson gave me a dry and unamused look. “Have you seen yourself?”

My hands were suddenly freezing. I looked down at them and found them covered in ice. My breath was misting in front of me. I had absolutely no control over what I was doing. My chest tightened again and the edges of my vision blurred with tears. I could hear my heart pounding in my chest. I needed this. I needed to fly home so I had something to keep my mind occupied.

“Please Coulson,” I begged. “Let me do this,”

“No,” Coulson’s voice was firm. “Kari, I need you to calm down.”

“I am calm,” I shouted the words at my handler.

The temperature dropped dramatically around us. My chest heaved as I struggled to breath. Panic clawed at me. I couldn’t control this. There was nothing I could do as the ice wound up higher from my hands and up to my wrists. It was so cold my teeth started to chatter. Footsteps thumped behind me and something suddenly jabbed into my neck. I yelped and my hand flew up to the now stinging area. I whirled around to see Jared standing behind me, something now discreetly hidden in his hand. My vision started to swim as my hand clamped down on my neck.

“I’m sorry,” Jared looked distraught. His face was pale as he watched me carefully. He took another step closer to me. “Kari, don’t…”

My legs gave way from me and I pitched forward. Whatever Jared finished saying I didn’t hear it. I was so dizzy and everything was fast becoming a blur. Jared’s arms closed around me to stop me falling flat on my face and everything went black very quickly.

I woke up feeling like I’d had my mouth stuffed full of cotton. Cold air was blowing on my face making my nose and lips freezing cold. I struggled to open my eyes. The heavy lids just wouldn’t cooperate to open. It took what felt like an eternity to actually feel my limbs. A hand was in mine, loosely gripping my fingers.

“Hey, you back yet?” Jared’s voice filled my ears. He sounded like he was miles away. I just groaned and squeezed his fingers. It was all I was capable of right now.

“Kari?” Jared prompted me again. The concern and outright worry in his voice made me reluctantly slide my eyes open. The light was blinding harsh. It made my head start pounding straight away. My eyelids quickly clamped shut again

“What the hell did you stick me with?” my voice came out as a croaking whisper.

“I’m sorry,” Jared’s voice cracked slightly. “I hit you with too much midazolam. It was only meant to calm you down. I overdid it a little.”

I couldn’t get any kind of response out. I just wanted to fall back to sleep for a while longer yet. Then I could be pissed at Jared for drugging me.

“Kari,” Jared squeezed my hand. Really hard. The pain was enough to make my eyes open again. I squinted against the bright light. “Can you stay awake?”

The plea was plain enough in his voice. Blinking rapidly I turned my head slowly and painfully to look at my twin.

“You look fucking terrible.”

Jared chuckled weakly at my declaration. He didn’t argue though. He really did look terrible. He had massive bags and dark circles under his eyes. His face was drawn and he looked like he could do with a weeks worth of food and sleep. Beside him was a half finished bottle of Grey Goose vodka.

I was in medical at the Triskelion. I knew these rooms well enough to recognise it immediately. I pushed the oxygen mask off my face, rubbing my nose trying to get feeling back in it. I felt as awful as Jared looked. My limbs felt heavy. I was freezing cold despite the blankets layered on me. I felt incredibly nauseous and every small move made my stomach rebel. I felt so bad I couldn’t even feel my grief.

“Mom and Dad are here,” Jared’s thumb ran over the back of my hand. “Clint and Nat just ducked out to grab coffee and a bite to eat.”

Of course Mom and Dad would be here. I don’t even know why Jared felt the need to share that.

“Lynette and Tessa are both here too,” Jared rubbed his face tiredly with his free hand. “We’ve only been back a day.”

I made a noise. I don’t even know where it came from but it was the only thing I could make come out again. I didn’t want to deal with this. I felt terrible and sleep was dragging me back down. At least when I asleep I wasn’t feeling a damn thing. My eyes slid closed again and this time Jared didn’t argue with me. He let me fall back asleep.

The next time I woke up I heard Mom’s voice in the room. I didn’t want to open my eyes so I just lay there. I was still so damn drowsy. I doubted I could have pried my eyes open even if I wanted to. At least the oxygen mask was off my face. I could feel the uncomfortable feeling of an IV line in my arm. It itched and I really wanted to reach over and pull it out.

“No she’s ok,” Mom’s voice sounded very weary. “Apparently she has a low tolerance for Benzodiazepine’s. And Jared gave her a dose big enough to knock a guy of Barton’s size out by accident. They’ve given her a small dose of Flumazenil to counteract it.”

“Can I get you anything?” Lynette asked quietly. “You’ve barely left this room since she got back.”

“I should be asking you that,” Mom chuckled quietly. Though there was very little humour being it.

“You’ve done more than enough for me and Tessa,” Lynette said firmly, though kindly. “I keep thinking of things that need to be organised and I ring someone and its always the same few words. ‘No Mrs Hunterton, thats already been arranged by Linda,’ It makes me wonder how you’ve done it when you’ve barely left this room for the last 36 hours.”

There was a long silence stretching out over the room. I felt a hand being slipped into mine and Mom finally spoke again.

“I feel so horrible and selfish to be sitting here with my baby girl, so thankful she’s alive,” Mom’s voice choked up. “And you’ve lost your son. If I lost either of my kids I wouldn’t know what to do. It's the least I could do to help you out.”

“I’ve had 10 years to come to terms with knowing I might get that knock on the door one day,” there was a small shuffle and the sound of a chair being dragged across the floor as Lynette spoke. “My heart might be broken from losing my son. But I also couldn’t be prouder of the man he was. From what I hear you have every reason to be just as proud of your two kids. Especially Kari.”

“She’s so resilient,” Mom gently squeeze my hand. “She’s so much stronger than I’ve ever given her credit for. I didn’t think she’d handle being in SHIELD. But she’s proven me wrong, time and time again. I just don’t know how she’ll cope with this. They were so in love.”

“They were,” Lynette agreed quietly. “Riley always told me he had no idea how he managed to get someone so perfect.”

“Kari said the same thing,” Mom laughed shakily. “Honestly, it was good to see her dating at the start of things. I was very wary when I found out she was dating a STRIKE boy, but then when Riley started talking to me while they were in Afghanistan. It didn’t take long to realise that they were perfect for each other.”

I was fully awake now. My bladder was starting to protest very heavily at how full it was. I squeezed Mom’s hand and opened my eyes. I couldn’t hear any more of this conversation. It made my heart hurt just thinking about Riley. Just hearing his name was like someone had reached into my chest and squeezed it hard. I didn’t think grief could physically hurt like this. But it did. It hurt so bad.

“I need to pee,” I announced quietly.

Both woman in the room jumped at the sound of my voice. Chairs skidded across the room as they both shot to their feet. In a second I had both of them hovering above me.

“Welcome back,” Mom smiled at me. She looked just as bad as Jared did when I woke up before. She reached over and hit a button that was near my head. “I’ll get the medic in.”

“Hey Kari,” Lynette’s smile was wavering. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I just had a fifth of tequila and an ass kicking,” I closed my eyes and grimaced before opening them again. I swallowed trying to get some moisture back in my scratchy feeling throat. “Where’s Jared?”

No sooner had those words left my mouth, my twin appeared beside the bed. He had a coffee in one hand and a McDonalds paper bag in the other hand.

“I brought cheeseburgers,” Jared announced brightly. Far too brightly for him not to be faking his chirpy mood. “Who’s hungry?”

My response was leaning over and throwing up what little I had in my stomach. Footsteps came running in a little quicker at the sound of me throwing up. Ugh. I don’t even know where that had come from. Not cool at all. I was going to beat my twin even harder when I was feeling better.

It took me an hour to finally be discharged from medical. 5 minutes after I’d make it known I was awake the room was crowded. Clint, Natasha and Coulson were all in there filling me in on what happened. In the chaos of the crowded room, Lynette slipped out with a quiet goodbye. It was selfish of me, but I was glad she was gone. I couldn’t think of anything to say to her. Just her being there was a horrible reminder of Riley.

After Jared sedated me, they had problems keeping me stable on the Quinjet. My blood pressure was all over the place. My heartbeat started doing something that resembled more of a tap dance than a normal rhythm. So Jared teleported me straight back to the Triskelion. I’d stabilised with proper medical equipment. The combination of lack of proper sleep, dehydration, no food and the vodka from the night before had given me a very nasty long list of side effects. No wonder Jared looked so damn stressed when I’d woken up before. A shot of maxalon and a huge lecture to Jared from Max, the medic who’d treated my leg, I was allowed to get dressed and go home. Jared decided to teleport ahead to get dinner. Clint and Natasha promised they’d be over later.

I barely remember leaving medical. Everything was happening in such a fast blur. I couldn’t focus on anything for longer than a few seconds. This included conversations. I just zoned out staring out the car window, huddled down in my hoodie. I’d drawn the hood up around my face, absently chewing on the cords. It only I could draw myself away from the world just like I pulled the material up over my head.

When Dad, who was driving, made the turn towards Jared’s apartment instead of straight ahead to mine. I sat up.

“Why aren’t we going back to my place?” my voice still sounded scratchy and foreign to my ears. Apparently it’d be like that for a few days because they put a breathing tube in when I first came back to the Triskelion. When I’d stablished it’d been taken out not long after.

I didn’t miss the look my parents exchanged in the front of the car. Mom looked relieved that I’d actually spoken. Dad was clearly trying to pass off my question for Mom to handle.

“We thought it might be better for you to stay with Jared for a bit,” Mom said tactfully. “Then you can make a decision if you want to go back there or not.”

“Ok,” I said quietly, falling back against the seat. I pulled the hoodie around my face a little tighter. I had a feeling it was actually Natasha’s hoodie. It had a perfume that definitely wasn’t mine clinging to it very lightly. Natasha and I swapped clothes so often I had no idea what was mine and hers anymore. An uncomfortable silence stretched out in the car again. I pulled my knees to my chest and stared out the window again.

“I think I’ve solved the problem with you wanting extra rounds for your AWSM,” Dad broke the silence this time. I glanced to the front of the car trying to look interested. “Do you want to look over the specs with me?”

“Maybe later,” I murmured looking back out the window. I didn’t miss Mom’s not too subtle elbow into his ribs. I could almost hear the scold she wanted to tell him.

No talking about work at home. Work stays at work. I’d heard it so many times over the years. It never seemed to sink in for Dad though. He was a worse workaholic than Mom was.

Mom’s phone chimed, sounding extra loud in the quiet car. She unlocked it and glanced at the message that came through.

“Jared wants to know if you want Thai or Chinese for dinner?” Mom glanced back at me. This time I couldn’t even muster enough energy to say anything. I just shrugged and played with the hem of the hoodie absently.

“Kari, a shrug isn’t an answer,” Mom prompted me gently.

“I’m not hungry,” my left hand trailed from fiddling with the hem of the hoodie to my right arm. Almost absently I started to scratch even though I wasn’t itchy. My hands just wouldn’t stay still, despite me just wanting to sit here and do nothing. I scratched until my arm started to feel raw before snatching my hand away.

“How about a pint of Ben and Jerry’s?” Dad suggested. His eyes glanced back to me in the backseat with a smile. “Choc chip cookie dough? With crunchy peanut butter, whipped cream and sprinkles on top?”

The disgusting concoction that I used to love eating as a teenager made my stomach churn just thinking about it now. Ugh. This nausea was getting old very quickly. I was warned it might last for a few days until everything was out of my system. I wrinkled my nose and shook my head quickly. I retreated back into my hoodie further, now back to chewing on the hoodie strings.

“Kari,” Mom started again sounding slightly exasperated.

“I am not hungry,” I punctuated every word harshly. “When I’m hungry, I’ll eat and pestering me about it isn’t going to help.”

My little snarl left my exhausted beyond belief. Maybe it was the lingering effects of the midazolam. But I could barely keep my eyes opened as we pulled into the garage of Jared’s building. I closed my eyes and let the exhaustion take over again. At least when I was sleeping I wasn’t feeling anything.

I woke up in my bed in what used to be my room. It was dark and according to the clock, the small hours of the morning. 0341 to be precise. I grumbled and rolled back over onto my side, closing my eyes. Nope I really didn’t want to be awake. I enjoyed the nothingness that sleep was bringing. But my body had other ideas. It wanted something. My stomach was still too wound in a mess of knots from stress and anxiety to consider eating. But a coffee might actually go down well. Or a hot chocolate. I knew Jared always kept a stash of really good cocoa in the back of the cupboard. The bed suddenly felt too big and too lonely for me to stay in there by myself. I quietly padded out into the kitchen. My body ached and my head rebelled against every noise I made. Looks like I’d be finding the aspirin while I was up. I opened the fridge, staring at the contents wondering if there was anything there that might actually take my fancy. The sight of food just made my stomach contract again.

“There’s coffee pods in the cupboard,” Jared’s sleepy voice made me jump in fright. I looked behind me to see him leaning over the island bench separating the kitchen from the lounge room. His hair was sticking up in all directions and he looked absolutely exhausted just leaning there in his boxers. “Or there’s our favourite hot chocolate right at the front.”

I flicked the kitchen light on before moving to the cupboard. Just like he said, the hot chocolate was sitting right at the front of the eye level shelf. I didn’t doubt it’d been left there on purpose. My stomach wasn’t rebelling at the sight of it. So hot chocolate it was.

Jared walked to the fridge and pulled the milk out and poured a generous amount into a pot. I just handed him the container, knowing better than to try and do it myself. I walked around and sat in the chair, watching Jared start working his magic. I don’t know where the chocolate powder actually came from. But it tasted like melted chocolate in milk. It was just heaven in your mouth.

“Why are you asleep on the couch?” I broke the silence first. Wincing my headache came back in full force as soon as I spoke. Dammit, I’d forgotten about the aspirin.

“Here,” Jared halted stirring the mixture. He bent down and opened one of the drawers, pulling out a bottle of aspirin. He winced himself. “You can keep that to yourself, thanks.”

“Sorry,” I took the offered bottle and threw back 3 pills quickly. Jared grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and passed it over as well. In my own misery I’d forgotten this was just as hard on Jared as me. Right now my feelings were so harsh and overwhelming he’d be feeling it as well. I took a sip of water to make sure the aspirin went down all the way and stayed down. It wasn’t until the water hit my throat I realised how damn thirsty I actually was. I drained most of the bottle in a few long swallows.

“Mom and Dad are using my room,” Jared answered my previous question while I drank. “They didn’t want to be too far away. The couch is comfy enough.”

“I had a big snap at Mom before,” I admitted drawing my eyes down to the bench. The bottle of water had left a small trail on condensation on the bench. I absently trailed my fingers through it, drawing a random pattern on the bench with it.

“Meh,” Jared shrugged casually. “You can be the asshole child for once. Takes the pressure off me to be the pain in the ass all the time.”

“Funny,” I said simply. But Jared’s smart tone and comment actually made my lips quirk up a little. If there anyone in the world that could make me smile in this horrid time, it was my twin. Jared looked at me with his own small and sad smile.

“Barton and Tasha went home earlier,” Jared filled in the gaps for me. Again. “Barton drank the 6 pack of beer I got for you, so you’ll want punch him for it later.”

“I will,” I absently started to scratch at my arm again. I’d left welts from before in the car. Scratching them felt like it grounded me back to earth a little more. Feeling the uncomfortable burn made something feel real at least. It took my mind away from the grief that kept wanting to crush me.

“Don’t do that,” Jared quickly reached over and stopped my scratching fingers. “Laura came with Clint as well. She smacked me across the face for my stupid stunt.”

“And you let her,” I said dryly. That would have been a funny sight to see. Laura would almost need a box to stand on to reach Jared.

“But this,” Jared turned his head to the left slightly and pointed at his cheek. There was a red mark on it that would become a faint bruise in the next day or two. “Was courtesy of Tasha, that I most certainly didn’t see coming. So my other cheek is free for the bruise I know you want to put on it.”

“Why did Nat punch you?”

“Because of my not so smart action of sticking you with enough sedative to take down a horse,” Jared said wincing at the memory. “I’m sorry Kari, you were panicking. I panicked. I should have checked the dose before giving it to you.”

“Its probably a good thing you were quick enough to act,” I admitted honestly. “I had no control. I couldn’t stop myself.”

“You just had a panic attack, it happens sometimes” Jared tried to give me a reassuring smile. It was more like a grimace than anything else. “Still, I am sorry.”

I knew when the subject was closed with Jared. There was no arguing with him over this, even if I had the mental strength to do it. I just let it go and made a mental note to punch him later. This was Jared’s way of coping. I wasn’t going to stop him.

Jared took the pot off the stove and turned around to pull 2 mugs from the cupboard. He stopped for a second and then went back to the pantry, digging around he triumphantly pulled out a bag of marshmallows. While Jared was rummaging around in the cupboard, my eyes fell on a cardboard box sitting at the other end of the kitchen island on the floor.

“Whats in the box?” I asked for a complete change of subject.

Jared halted mid opening of the marshmallow packet. I could see it so clearly in his face that he was about to scramble for an appropriate lie. But he sighed instead, his own eyes falling on the box.

“I cleaned out Riley’s locker,” Jared finished opening the packet and set it down on the bench. “Evans was going to do it, but he started and just couldn’t finish.”

“Can,” I hesitated, swallowing heavily. “Can I have a look?”

I would never forget the last conversation Riley and I had while he lay there dying. The mention of something being in his locker for me made curiosity burn through me. Seeing the contents all packed up in one small box was depressing though.

“Yeah of course you can,” Jared started to pour the hot chocolate in the mugs. “Do you want me to help?”

I thought Jared would have had a good look through everything as he packed it up. But, he could have also thrown it all in without a second glance just to get the horrible job over and done with. Not trusting myself with anymore words, I just nodded and walked over to grab the box. It was light, just as I suspected. Riley didn’t keep much in his locker beyond a few changes of clothes and a few personal items. I’d gone through it plenty of times when I’d forgotten my own deodorant, or needed an extra sweater.

I dumped the contents onto the coffee table in the lounge room. Jared followed me in, flicking the lights on as he went. He put one of the mugs into my hands before sitting next to me. I took a sip of the hot chocolate, closing my eyes in brief satisfaction at how amazing it tasted. My body seemed to accept it as well, warming me up on the inside. I set it down before I started to sort through the mess I’d just created.

Like I thought before, it was mostly a few changes of clothes. One of Riley’s old Navy hoodies was in there. It hadn’t been washed and still smelt like him. I clutched onto it, holding it tightly feeling like it was the last piece of him I was ever going to have. Forcing my tears away I went through the rest of the things. There was a few of his shooting books. All the details he’d jot down while setting up a sniper shot. His scribbling handwriting was nearly impossible to read over the well worn pages. The newest looking book was nearly full. There was only a few spare pages at the back of it. I absently flicked to the last page, scanning over the contents. What I found wasn’t what I was expecting.

_I’m writing in this to pretend I’m doing some work so people stop bothering me. I miss Kari. Her constant sexts are driving me insane. Thank fuck for baggy pants so the guys don’t see me walking around with half a boner all the time. Now I’m drawing stick figures._

Below the writing was a bunch of stick figure men, all on the ground with x’s as eyes and tongues hanging out. Riley’s writing was underneath the drawing.

_Did I mention before that I miss Kari? I miss her so much._

“I miss you too,” I whispered at the book. By the dates, this was the mission I’d stood in for him in Idaho. I put the book down gently before I started to cry again. I hugged his hoodie to my chest a little tighter before I picked up the next thing on the coffee table. It was a thick A4 size envelope addressed to Riley and I. It’d already been torn open, so I reached in and pulled the contents out. I hadn't seen it come in the mail. Riley must have grabbed the mail that day.

The first page was just a letter. Behind it lay a thick wad of documents. I frowned and quickly scanned over the document. My hands started to shake as what I was reading sunk in.

It was a letter from a real estate congratulating Riley and I on the purchase of our new house. My hands fumbled as I flicked through the copy of sale contract, all finalised 2 days before his mission in Syria. My own signature was right there with Riley’s. I remember a month or so ago Riley asking me to witness a signature on something. I hadn’t even looked at the page as I signed it. It would have been the only time he could have snuck it in. There was nothing in there about finance. The only thing I could find was a paid in full.

“Kari?” Jared’s voice made me drag my gaze up to his face. “Whats that?”

“Riley brought us a house,” my voice hitched. “Thats what he said was in his locker for me.”

I couldn’t help it. I broke down into tears again. The fat stack of paper fell from my hands as I covered my face. Instantly Jared was at my side, pulling me into a crushing hug.

“It’s ok,” Jared rocked me gently. “We’ll work this out.”

I didn’t want to work this out. I just wanted Riley back. So badly that it physically hurt.

~~

I couldn’t do this. I sat in the backseat of the SHIELD car looking out over the cemetery at Arlington. It wasn't a surprise that Riley wanted to be buried here. He’d be buried with full military honours as well. Neither was the group of SEAL’s standing there already gathered around all in full formal dress uniform. All of Bravo team were here, dressed in suits blending in with the military dress. I fiddled with my skirt feeling out of place already. It was a beautiful spring day. The sun was shining, but it wasn’t disgustingly hot. A slight breeze kept everything cool. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky. A perfect day and here we were at a funeral. A funeral I never thought I’d be attending even in my wildest dreams.

I wasn’t the only one procrastinating about getting out of the car. Coulson sat at the wheel, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel. Clint sat in the front seat chewing on his nails. Natasha was drinking from a water bottle next to me. The slightly glassy look on her eyes told me it wasn’t water in that bottle. Jared just looked out of the other window, not paying attention to anyone.

“This sucks,” Clint said bitterly breaking the silence.

“Suck doesn’t even begin to describe it,” Jared added.

“We have to go,” Coulson turned the rest of us in the back. “Come on, lets do this.”

I really didn’t want to be here. I’d just about had a breakdown walking out the door this morning. It took a lot of coaxing from everyone that I could get through this today. Funerals meant everything was final. That everything was over. I didn't want this to be over. I wanted this all to be a horrible dream that I was going to wake up from. I’d roll over and Riley would be back in my bed. He’d be the one swearing at the alarm when it went off in the mornings again. Not the horrible silence that filled my room now. Just being back in my room at Jared’s place was bad enough.

“Yep,” Clint sighed heavily pushing the door open. Jared followed suit and Natasha crawled over to exit from his side. I squeezed my eyes together tightly, making sure I wasn’t going to cry.

A car pulled in behind us, making me glance behind. It was my parents which had both gone straight towards Jared. I didn’t think they’d be far behind us. As crowded as it’d been in the apartment, I was never so glad for my parents being around right now. Mom had been one of the few things holding me together this last week while everything got prepared for Riley’s funeral. I was so grateful to her handling all the decisions I just couldn’t make. Riley had updated his will recently and left a lot to me. I’d completely shut down when Mom tried to talk to me about it. So she just handled what needed to be sorted now and pushed the rest aside for later. Same as the house Riley had brought. Someone had gone and picked up a heap of clothes for me from the apartment so I didn’t have to go back there. Despite not wanting to be back in the spare room at Jared’s apartment, I couldn’t bring myself to go back to ours yet either.

“Kari,” Coulson’s voice made me look to the front. “You can do this. You’ve faced bigger challenges than this in the last few months. I know you’re hurting right now but I have complete faith that you can get through this today.”

“Thanks Phil,” I whispered feeling tearful again. I swallowed heavily and straightened my skirt again before reaching for the door handle. I didn’t have to open it, Clint was already there waiting for me. Without a word Clint took my hand, gripping it hard in reassurance as we began the walk down.

“Is Laura coming?” I asked Clint quietly.

“Yeah she won’t be far behind your parents,” Clint looked over at me with a strained smile. “I’ll just introduce her as my girlfriend. It won’t raise too many eyebrows that way.”

Natasha and Clint had been with me nearly non stop. I felt terrible because I mostly just sat around, barely contributing to any conversation. It wasn’t until Laura brought Cooper and Lila around that I started to emerge from my grief a little. Lila running straight at me, throwing herself into my lap and hugging me as hard as her little body could manage, made me crumble. As always I was powerless to her requests. Sitting there watching a Disney movie with her brought some small sense of normality back in my life. It felt good just to sit there and lose myself in Lilo and Stitch. Especially with Lila in my lap and Natasha curled up beside me with her head on my shoulder.

The nights were the worst though. Having such an empty space in my bed was unbearable. Jared didn’t complain when I’d started crawling in beside him of a nighttime. Just sleeping pressed back to back on the couch was enough to lull me to sleep. I was so thankful for the lack of nightmares, or any dreams really.

The closer we got to where Riley’s service would be held, the more the crowd was growing. It wasn’t just Bravo team here now. Rumlow and a few guys on his team had shown up. There was more Navy uniforms mingling around. Along with a lot of faces I didn’t recognise. I stopped on the edge of the crowd, not wanting to deal with so many people right now. At least my family, blood or not, didn’t ask me stupid things. Like how I was doing. If there was anything they could do. All the questions that meant nothing but empty words and people trying to make themselves feel useful.

“I don’t think I can do this,” I choked out, stopping suddenly. Clint’s body jerked abruptly at my sudden stop. He gave my hand a small tug.

“Yes you can,” Clint said patiently. “You’ve done things harder than this Kari. You can do this.”

But I didn’t want to. That was the hardest thing. I knew I could get through this and maybe even make it through the day without tears. But I didn’t want to have to make it through this. But there was no escaping it. I just gripped Clint’s hand as hard as I could and let myself be taken away in the sea of people. Relatives of Riley’s that I didn’t know wanted to crowd around me. Everyone was trying to speak to me and it was just becoming such a blur. Even with Clint muscling me through the crowd as quickly as possible, I felt like I was going to have a fully blown anxiety attack right there.

“Breath through it,” suddenly Jared was at my side as well. He wrapped his arm around my waist and steadied me against him. “You only have to get through the ceremony and we can get absolutely shit faced drunk.”

That’s one thing I’d sorely missed over the last week. There hadn’t been a drop of alcohol in the apartment. Jared admitted to me that Mom made him get rid of it all before I went back because she was worried I’d drink my sorrow away. While part of me wanted to do that, I was also really really missing having a beer with dinner. I also knew if I even thought about heading down that path of using alcohol to drown my sorrows on a semi permanent basis, Clint would smack me back onto the straight and narrow so fast I wouldn’t know what hit me. Then I’d still have to deal with Natasha afterwards.

Between the two of them, Clint and Jared led me to a seat in the front row of everything. I didn’t want to sit at the front, but it’s what I’d been told to do. Jared would stay with me, but Lynette had asked Clint to be one of the casket bearers. Along with Sam, Evans and 3 of the guys from Riley’s old SEAL team. As soon as I was seated, Clint left to go do what he had to. Natasha quickly replaced him on the other side of me. She wordlessly handed me her water bottle. I took a long sip and my suspicion from before was confirmed. It was vodka in it. The long drink of the smooth alcohol went down so easily. Natasha only let me take one more drink before taking it off me.

“Just some Russian courage to get through this,” Natasha whispered quietly to me. She took another long drink and settled back in her chair. I discreetly slipped my arm around her waist and we pulled ourselves a little closer together. Natasha hadn’t said much over the last week but her silent support meant the world to me. She didn’t handle grief well. Just by her showing up today was hard for as Natasha, as it was for me.

All around us people started to sit down. I closed my eyes and drew in a very shaky breath. This was it. This was really happening. Like a tidal wave, nothing was going to stop this happening. It was real. And it was very, very final.

The service passed in a blur. I barely remembered any of it. Clint stood and spoke as part of the eulogy instead of Evans. It was the only thing to really stick in my mind. I managed to hold it together and not cry throughout the service. It wasn’t until the bugler started to play Taps, that I thought I was going to lose it. I was so wrapped up on my own bubble of grief I wasn’t even hearing the 7 gun salute going off. My chest constricted and I struggled to breathe. I wanted to get up, but the second I moved both Jared and Natasha’s hands firmly clapped down on me. Jared’s on my shoulder and Natasha dug her fingers into my thigh to keep me still. A second later, a cool hand touched the back of my neck and I was calm again. I cringed and rolled my neck away from my Mom’s fingers. I hated it with a passion when she used her power on me. I know it was only to calm me down. But she usually respected my privacy more than that. The honour guard folded the flag on Riley’s casket with expert precision and handed the finished product to Coulson. Being the senior Agent at the funeral it was his job to hand it to Lynette. As calm and collected as always, Coulson took the flag and came to stand in front of Lynette. She was doing an amazing job of holding herself together.

“On behalf of the Director of SHIELD, please accept this flag as a token of our appreciation for your loved ones honourable and faithful service,” Coulson never faltered. Neither did Lynette. Her hands were steady as she accepted the flag with a quiet thank you to Coulson.

I was very glad it wasn’t me getting the flag. Lynette had asked if I wanted to receive it instead of her and my answer was an instant no. If that had been me, I would have broken down by now. I don’t even think my hands would be steady enough not to drop it and make an utter fool of myself.

As soon as the service finished there was plenty of Riley’s old SEAL team heading to his casket. Soon the banging of their tridents into the wood could be heard over the quietness of the cemetery. This was one thing I had to do. I didn’t have a SEAL Trident. But my pilot wings could be easily pinned to the casket, just as a SEAL trident. Jared fished into his pocket and pulled them out for me. Taking my hand, Jared came over to Riley’s casket in silent support. Almost instantly, a path cleared for me. Riley’s old SEAL commander, Lieutenant Commander Maning, who I’d met in Afghanistan gave me a salute as I walked past. I had to take a lot of deep and calming breaths just to make the last few steps.

“You sure about this?” Jared asked me quietly as I got to the casket.

“No,” I felt tears start to threaten again. “But I want to.”

With shaking hands, I removed the backing of the pins and put my hand on the casket. I wanted to say something. But my mind wouldn’t work. It was just so final now. This was it. This was my final goodbye I was ever going to have. With a lump stuck in my throat, I put my pilot wings pin side down and smacked it into the smooth wood as hard as I could. They stuck there firmly. A little piece of silver breaking up all of the gold of the tridents.

“Bye Riley,” I whispered.

I couldn’t stop the tears. Even if I wanted to there was no stopping them now.


	37. Chapter 37

I regretted a lot as I woke up the next morning after Riley's funeral. The biggest regret right now was the bottle of bourbon I'd shared with Natasha.

My head felt like it was going to crack open from the throbbing headache. I groaned and rolled over onto my side. Instantly I got a mouthful of hair and I cracked my eyes open while I spat out the hair. Natasha was curled up next to me, on her side with her back facing me. I grumbled and pushed aside her hair and curled up into her back, draping my arm over her waist. We were in my bed in Jared's spare room. I don't really remember how or when we got back here last night after the wake.

"Hows your head?" Natasha murmured sleepily as I settled in behind her.

"I think I want to cut it off," I groaned. "I hate bourbon."

"You and me both," Natasha's hand came onto my arm and she gave it a gentle squeeze. "There's water and aspirin on the bedside table if you want it."

I grunted in response and just kept my eyes closed. I did want it. But there was whole issue of it being all the way over there. Just out of my fingertip reach. I just couldn't be bothered to move to actually get it. I actually couldn't be bothered to move at all. After the emotional wreckage of yesterday, it was strangely comfortable and peaceful laying here with Natasha. Headache and nausea aside that is. It wasn't hard to fall back asleep.

The next time I woke up Natasha and I had changed places. She was spooning me this time. I could feel the steady breathing of her still asleep tickling the back of my neck. This time I really, really needed the aspirin and water. Otherwise my head was going to pound so hard it'd fall off by itself. I scooted over to the edge of the bed and grabbed the promised aspirin and bottle of water. Groaning I untangled myself from Natasha as I greedily chugged the water down with a handful of aspirin. My phone was sitting there as well, the screen lit up as a text came through. I grabbed it, squinting at the light shining in my face. It was later than I realised. 1022. The text was from Evans.

We have a tradition of brunch at my place after a funeral. Get your ass over here Kari otherwise I'm sending Nick and Sam to drag you here.

I squinted at the screen in confusion. If Evans hadn't of said my name I would have thought that message was definitely not for me. I dragged myself out of bed without Natasha stirring. I don't know why, but she always slept like the dead whenever I was around. There'd been a few times I even heard her snore. She looked so peaceful in her sleep. The way she acted sometimes it was hard to believe there was only 5 months age difference between us. Natasha acted like someone much older. From everything she'd been through and done, it wasn't hard to realise why.

I knew Evans would make good with his threat if I didn't get over there ASAP. My headache started to slowly subside as the aspirin started to kick in. By the time I'd gotten dressed and been to the bathroom I wasn't feeling as terrible as I was before. I went to the kitchen and went to grab my bike keys out of the bowl I always threw them in. The bowl was empty. Which also meant Jared's keys were missing. Along with Mom's car keys.

"Fuck it all to hell," I grumbled as I began to quickly search around the still quiet apartment. Jared wasn't on the couch. A quick inspection revelled that Mom and Dad were still asleep in his bedroom. A very unusual occurrence for them, unless of course they'd joined in the drinking last night. I didn't remember a lot beyond having those first 2 shots of bourbon as a toast to Riley. However I did find the keys to Mom's car and my Kawasaki. They were tucked in right at the bottom of her handbag. I managed to extract them with no noise. Neither her or Dad even stirred as I tip toed back out of Jared's bedroom. I grabbed my phone, wallet and helmet before leaving the apartment. It almost made me laugh at the absurdity of this situation. Here I was sneaking around like a naughty teenager. Then again, it felt kind of good to be doing something that no one wanted me to do. Obviously Mom didn't think I was capable of riding my bike, so the keys got hidden. This was starting to get a little frustrating. As much as I loved my parents being around, it felt stifling right now. I knew I couldn't make some decisions by myself, but the hovering Mom was doing was going to drive me nuts if it kept up.

I rode the Kawasaki way too fast all the way to Evans place. He lived a good 30 minute drive from Jared's apartment. I managed to get there in 15 minutes. I really hoped I didn't run through any speed cameras on my way here. Otherwise I don't think I'd have a license for much longer. There were plenty of cars parked out the front already. Most of those cars I knew pretty well. I rode my bike up onto the kerb and found a spot next to Sam's car to park it. As I turned to walk in the front door, I was greeted by Abby who had Alexi in her arms.

"There she is," Abby said brightly as she gave Alexi a small bounce. "Do you want to go to Kari?"

Alexi babbled something and instantly held her arms out for me.

"Hey baby girl," I forced a smile onto my face and took Alexi from Abby. "Hows my favourite little hell spawn?"

"Being a little hell spawn," Abby looked really tired. More so than just being hungover. I vaguely remembered her being there yesterday. "How much did you speed to get over here?"

"A little," I admitted wryly. "Mom hid my keys so I feel like being rebellious because of it."

Alexi cut in by starting speaking in her own little language again. She was looking up at me, focusing very intently on my face.

"Is that right?" I said to her absently. "Shall we go get some breakfast?"

Alexi pulled a disgusted face and poked her tongue out. She blew a big raspberry sending spit everywhere. This time the smile on my face wasn't forced. It wasn't a huge beaming smile. But it was one there for the first time in what felt like forever.

"You are so gross," I went to hand her back to Abby. Alexi decided to squirm and started to make a fuss about going back to her Mom. She buried her head back into my shoulder and clung onto me like a little monkey. For someone so little, she was freakishly strong when she wanted to be.

"Nope, too bad she's all yours," Abby held her hands up and backed away. "Come and have brunch. Most of the guys stayed here the night and theres plenty of sore heads this morning."

Yeah didn't I feel that as well. My headache had dulled down but was still there. I still felt queasy and my body was screaming at me for a coffee. I followed Abby through the house and into the back porch. There was a quiet buzz of chatter from the guys on Bravo team. Most of them looked hungover as fuck, probably exactly the same way I looked. There were a few grunts of greeting as I sat down with Alexi. I found myself between Sam and Evans. Sam had his head in his arms on the table. Evans looked a little green and I don't think there'd be anything that would pry the sunglasses off his face. He was sipping on something green and looked like sludge.

"I really can't drink like I used to," Evans groaned. "I feel old."

"You are old," Sam's voice was muffled in his arms. "I swear I'm never touching bourbon again."

Alexi started talking up at me again in her own little babble, I nodded distractedly and poured myself a coffee from the pot in the middle of the table. Alexi went to grab the cup and I quickly moved it out of her reach. While she as being a little slow in the pulling herself up and walking department, she certainly had good hand coordination. It was hard to believe she'd turned 1 a few weeks ago. Her babble started to get more frustrated as she looked up at me. She tugged on my shirt to get my attention.

"What Alexi?" I looked down at her. She usually wasn't this demanding. She'd quite happily sit in mine or Riley's lap for ages without making too much fuss. Her mouth opened and closed a few times and her little face scrunched up in concentration.

"Riley."

The entire table went silent at that one word. I wasn't sure if I'd just imagined it. But judging by the way everyone was staring at her, I guess I wasn't the only one to hear it. Even Sam managed to pull his head up out of his arms. A lump appeared in my throat as I looked down at her. Alexi beamed up at me with a huge smile.

"Riley," she repeated again. There was no missing it this time. She'd definitely said it. She tugged on my shirt again impatiently and looked around the room.

"Riley isn't here baby girl," I forced myself to breath as I managed to choke the words out. Alexi frowned as she seemed to mull my words over. This was crazy. Are one year olds even capable of this kind of thought process? She frowned and then smiled at me again.

"Kari," she pointed at me with her smile turning into a grin.

Oh shit.

The silence was absolutely deafening around the table this time. I forgot to breath for a few seconds as I stared down at her in shock. Alexi didn't falter, she just grinned up at me, her chubby little fists reaching for the end of my braid which was over my shoulder. I quickly moved it out of her reach before she shoved it in her mouth. She was gross like that.

"Seriously Kari," Sam was the first to break the silence. "Fuck you. I've been trying to get her to say my name for months now. Sam is so much easier to say than Kari."

I laughed. It was strained, too high pitched and way off to be normal. But I couldn't help it. A second after me everyone else had joined in. God it felt good to be doing something else rather than feeling hollow. Alexi certainly had just broken the tension there.

"Fuck," Alexi repeated brightly. It just made everyone laugh even harder. She grinned and chanted the word a few more times until I quickly shushed her. It might be cute now, but I don't think it was going to go down well at playgroup.

"Is it too early to send her to boarding school?" Evans looked torn between pained and extremely amused at his daughters current vocabulary.

"No she can just go live with Kari," Sam grumped as he shot me a faked pained look. "Serious Sam. S.A.M. It's such a simple name. Why couldn't she say Sam first?"

"Wow you can spell," I said dryly as I took a sip of coffee. "I'm so impressed. Can you spell dog or cat next for me? Then you might graduate from preschool."

"Now children," Abby finally appeared from the kitchen, followed me one of the other guys wives. They were carrying a few bowls between them. A few of the other guys quickly jumped up to help. "No maiming before breakfast is served."

At the sight of food my stomach clenched uncomfortably. I'd barely eaten anything over the last week and a bit. Its probably why I'd ended up so drunk last night. Stress made me lose my appetite quicker than anything else. Jared and I were complete opposites like that. He reached for the ice cream and chocolate. I clammed up and didn't eat anything.

Conversation started to flow around the table again as brunch was served. I spooned some scrambled eggs onto my plate and reached for a piece of toast.

"What does Alexi want?" I half asked Alexi and looked over to Abby for help. Alexi was going through a phase where she didn't like to eat anything off her own plate. She wanted to share whatever you had.

"Whatever you want to share with her," Abby confirmed as she looked at my plate with a small frown. She looked like she was going to comment but she kept her mouth shut. It wasn't hard to guess what she wanted to say to me. I ignored the look and handed Alexi the piece of toast.

Alexi looked at the toast and then back up to me. She frowned and waved the toast back up at me.

"We're going through the stage of where we share every single bite," Evans snickered next to me. "I hope you like your toast soggy after she chews on it."

I tried not to wrinkle my nose too much as I took the piece of toast from Alexi. I took a small bite off the corner of it and handed it back to her. It was like swallowing sawdust, but I managed to do it.

"Yum," I handed the toast back to Alexi. She took exactly the same size bite of the piece of toast as I'd just done. The corner of it was barely nibbled off it. We'd be here all day if this kept up. Alexi handed the piece of toast back to me and I took a bigger bite of it this time. It didn't taste quite as bad as before. This went back and forth until the piece of toast was finished. Alexi pointed at the plate in the middle that had a few pieces left on it.

"Toast?" I tried to encourage her to say.

"Fuck," Alexi smiled at me. Beside me, Evans and Sam both choked on whatever mouthful of food they had in their mouths. Abby scowled at the three of us from across the table.

"Yeah we'll go with that," I half smiled as I grabbed another piece of toast. In-between bites of toast, Alexi and I shared the scrambled eggs I put on my plate. She wanted to hold the spoon herself while we ate the eggs. So I was forced to bend down and let her shove the spoon in my mouth while I tried to balance between helping her and trying not to make an epic mess. As it was, a lot of it landed on the ground and on my jeans so I had to get more. I ended up getting some bacon as well. Alexi could hang onto the strips of crispy bacon well enough not to have it end up everywhere. The salty bacon was doing wonders for my hangover. My stomach unwound itself enough to actually enjoy the breakfast as well. Strangely enough, I felt a lot better overall with some food in my stomach. Just like everyone had been telling me all week.

Typical. It takes getting basically hand fed by a baby to make me actually eat again. I didn't miss the few glances exchanged between Evans and Abby either. I have a feeling someone had spoken to them in an attempt to get me to something except sit on the couch and mope all day. Especially the funeral had now been and gone.

After brunch Alexi started to get tired. I excused myself and took her up to the bathroom to clean her up. And myself as well. I had more scrambled eggs and bacon over me than I think I'd gotten in my mouth. I sat Alexi up on the bathroom counter as I washed her hands and face.

"Grub," I ghosted a smile at her.

Alexi smiled and pointed at me.

"Kari," her smile just lit up the entire room. She was just adorable. My heart melted at her actually saying my name as one of her first words. I knew Riley and I spent a lot of spare time here. But I didn't think Alexi liked me that much.

"Alexi," I pointed at her and bopped her gently on the nose. She giggled and waved her arms around trying to grab at my fingers. She babbled but didn't manage to say her name like I was hoping.

"Riley," she said again. This time her smile diminished slightly.

"Yeah Riley," I sighed softly. Alexi reached up and touched the necklace Riley gave me at Christmas. I never took it off unless I had to. The mission at the fundraiser to see Tony Stark had been the first time it'd ever left my neck. As soon as we got back to the hotel room, it'd gone straight back on. "Riley's gone baby girl. He would have said goodbye if he could."

A few tears squeezed from my eyes at those words. The horrible but not familiar feeling of my heart being broken over and over again came back to my chest. I tried to swallow them back but they were a force to be reckoned with. I thought I'd cried a lifetime worth of tears since Riley had died. But my body seemed to be able to keep producing them. A gentle tap on the door made me hastily wipe my face.

"You girls having a moment up here?" Evans voice came before he opened the door. He caught me just as I was wiping my face. The strained smile on his face fell as soon as he saw me. "Kari…"

No other words were really needed. Evans closed the few steps into the bathroom and wrapped me up in a gentle hug.

"Yeah it sucks, I know," Evans said to me softly. "No matter how many times people say it's ok it really doesn't help right now. Does it?"

I shook my head against Evans shoulder as a few more tears started to fall.

"You're allowed to cry," Evans rocked me gently. "You're allowed to be angry and once you're feeling a bit better we'll go and hit the range and blow some shit up."

That made me laugh very weakly. Evans didn't give me a chance to say anything, he kept speaking.

"It hurts, so much that you don't think you can breathe sometimes," Evans continued. "But little by little, it'll get better. It might not be tomorrow or even in 6 months. But life keeps moving along and you will too. But in your own time. No one can tell you how you should be feeling and when. You guys talked about this, yeah?"

I nodded in confirmation. My throat was too tight to speak right now.

"We're all here for you," Evans gave me a light squeeze. "You don't have to talk about Riley, or even your feelings. Just come over and have a beer. Play with Alexi or whatever you want. I've been a STRIKE leader for 12 years now. Believe me when I say this isn't my first rodeo."

That I could imagine. STRIKE wasn't the safest job out there. Evans would have seen and been to his fair share of funerals.

"Just look after yourself at the moment," Evans pulled back from our hug and gave me a small smile. "If that means you want to be back at work punching a bag in a few days then thats great. If you need some breathing space and aren't ready to do anything for a few weeks, then thats fine too. Don't rush anything. There is nothing of great urgency that needs to be dealt with until you're ready. Don't let anyone push you around with that either."

"Riley brought us a house," my voice was finally back. "I have no idea what to do with it."

It seemed to silly that the house was such a major concern for me right now. I hadn't even gone to look at it yet. I don't think I could bring myself to it either. I might never be ready to actually go and look at it. The thought of Riley buying us a house meant he really was thinking about the future for us. If I'd found an engagement ring in his locker I would have lost my mind by now.

"I know he did," Evans sighed quietly. "I went with him when he first wanted to look at it. Its brought and paid for. It can sit empty for the next 6 months until you decide what you want to do with it."

Well, that was sneaky of both Riley and Evans. It wouldn't be hard to work around there. Riley would just say he's working late and they could easily spend a few hours without me knowing any of it.

"Or Marks and Andy are looking for somewhere closer to live," Evans looked thoughtful. They were 2 guys on Bravo team. I didn't know them that well. "They're both house trained and I can vouch for them that they won't be having keg parties there."

Another weak smile on my face. Evans was doing a better job of making me feel better in 10 minutes than anyone else had in the last week.

"I can organise all of that if you want if off your plate," Evans reached over and gave my shoulder a small squeeze. "Even if it's only until your ready to deal with it."

"Thanks Evans," I felt teary again. "That would be great."

Alexi chose that moment to make herself known in the bathroom again. The attention hadn't been on her for too long and she needed to change that.

"Fuck," Alexi declared loudly.

I snorted as I let out a short laugh. That wasn't going to get old anytime soon. Evans laughed as well, ducking his head to try and hide his amusement. Alexi grinned at both of us in obvious glee for making us laugh.

"I'll put Miss Potty Mouth down for a nap," I turned around and grabbed her off the bench. Alexi wrapped her arms my neck as far as she could and hugged me tightly.

"Any chance Dad can get a hug?" Evans held his hands out for his daughter. Alexi just buried herself into me further, hiding her head in the crook of my neck. I could feel the cheeky smile of hers against my skin as she shook her head. She'd learnt to shake her head very early on when she didn't want something. I couldn't wait until she learnt the word No. In fact I planned on teaching it to her in 4 different languages.

"Typical," Evans rolled his eyes. He tickled the back of Alexi's neck making her squeal with laughter. She squirmed around so much I nearly dropped her. But she pulled her head up and gave her Dad a very sweet little smile. Evans held his hands out again to see if she'd come. But she just giggled and hugged me again.

"So, I have something else I want to talk to you about," Evans smiled back at Alexi and bopped her on the nose. "Abby and I wanted to know if you'd like to be Alexi's god parent, officially. And our next born as well."

"I'd love to," that wasn't a hard decision to make. Even if it did feel like I was taking over from Riley, hearing Alexi say my name as one of her first words just made it very easy to say yes. Then the last part of his sentence sunk in. "Hang on, the next born?"

"Abby's pregnant," Evans was beaming. "12 weeks. We didn't want to say anything to anyone until it was a bit further along. Besides Riley, you're the only one to know so far."

"Oh Troy," I smiled and reached over to give him a hug. His beaming smile was a bit contagious. That was not what I was expecting to hear today. "I'm so happy for you both. Congratulations. I didn't know you guys were trying again."

"We weren't," Evans sounded a bit sheepish as he hugged me back. "It just happened. We just didn't want to get too excited at first, but everything is all looking normal and perfect."

"Hence Abby's flu that kept hanging around," it clicked in my head why Abby hadn't been feeling well for ages. "I'm so happy for you both."

The news felt like a bit of the fog I'd been living in had lifted slightly. Instead of being lost in a permanent cloud with no end in sight, the tiniest ray of light had peaked through. Having something to look forward to was a nice thought. Riley could't be here this time so I'd damn well make sure I was here making a real nuisance of myself.

"Lets get back downstairs," Evans tickled Alexi again. She giggled and wriggled away from his tickling fingers. "You look like you could do with another coffee."

Another coffee sounded amazing. Alexi was fast fading and it wouldn't be hard to put her down for a nap. Despite her best efforts, she was asleep by the time I pulled the blanket up over her. I put her favourite stuffed unicorn next to her which she grabbed in her sleep. I ran my fingers through her short dark curls before turning around and heading back downstairs. As promised, there was already a coffee sitting there waiting for me as I sat back down.

It was relaxing sitting here listening to Bravo team's conversation going on around me. I didn't contribute much, but it felt nice to have people not treading on eggshells around me. The conversation drifted to Riley sometimes. And other times it was just the usual banter that went on. Sam took great pleasure in nearly making me snort coffee out of my nose when he asked if it was true that Riley and I fucked in the Quinjet once. Apparently that had been the one and only thing Riley had ever bragged about sex wise.

After my second coffee and one of Abby's amazing chocolate chip muffins, I reluctantly dragged myself away and headed home. It was mid afternoon and I'd been ignoring my phone since I got there. But the constant stream of vibrations coming from my pocket was a not too subtle hint that I was being missed at home. I snuck a look at my phone to find a barrage of texts mostly from Jared. He'd been sending messages for the sake of sending messages to be annoying. There was at least 6 texts that were nothing but smiley faces, poop emoticons or boobs. He was such a shit. It did make me smile a little bit though. He didn't actually want me for anything. It was just like he'd actually missed my company. Or he was going insane. There was a pretty even chance of both of those things being true.

I rode sensibly and stuck to the speed limit on the way back to Jared's apartment. Pulling into the garage the first thing I noticed was my parents car wasn't there. A small part of me was relieved about that. I loved my parents very much and I really was grateful for all of Mom's help since everything happened. But all of us under the one roof for any extended period of time could get a little abrasive. I parked the bike and decided to be lazy and take the elevator up. I flicked through my phone distractedly to see who else wanted to speak to me while I was at brunch. As usual there was a few texts from both Clint and Natasha. Mom had sent me one asking if I'd developed powers of being able to not make any noise when I moved around. I smiled at that one. At least she wasn't pissed about me disappearing. I was so occupied with my phone I barely realised the elevator door had opened. Let alone Jared standing on the other side of it.

"BOO!" Jared screamed at me.

I shrieked. Loudly. Very, very loudly. Then I threw the first thing in my hand which happened to be my phone at him. It missed by a mile, landing with a clatter in the hallway. A second later Jared was on the floor, clutching at his stomach laughing hysterically.

"Oh my fucking god, you should have seen your face," Jared gasped between his laughs. "That was so worth whatever pay back you have in store for me."

"You are such as ASSHOLE," I screeched at Jared. For good measure I made a ball of ice and thew that at him as well. It bounced off his arm, way off course to do any actual damage. It only made Jared laugh even more while I stood there scowling at him.

"Don't scowl it makes you look like Mom," Jared choked out around his laughter. "And you get these funky wrinkles in your forehead that makes you look old."

That's it. He's dead.

I threw myself onto my twin, and landed a not too gentle smack into his ribs. Jared responded by throwing me off and nearly getting me pinned to the ground. I only just managed to slip from his grasp, flinging myself a few inches away from him onto my back. The small effort left me breathing heavily and feeling disgustingly unfit.

"You feel better," Jared reached over and slapped my thigh. It wasn't hard but it still made my leg sting at the hard contact. "I'm guessing brunch was good?"

"Brunch was relaxing," only Jared could say something like that to me and not have it come off weird. I knew exactly what he meant though. Over the last week he'd not only been dealing with his own emotions of losing Riley. But the little control I had over myself would have been giving him the full brunt of my own emotions as well. "Alexi spoke."

"Did she?" Jared's face softened into a gentle smile. He'd only met Alexi once or twice, but my brother was just as smitten with her as Riley was. Jared loved kids. If he wasn't such a man whore he'd probably have an entire baseball team of his own little hell spawn. It made me very glad he was a man whore. I don't think the world would be ready for multiple Jared's. "What was it?"

"Riley," the sadness tugged at my heart again. But I quickly squashed it back this time so I could keep going with my story. "Then Kari. And then it was fuck."

"I'm really hoping we're encouraging the use of the third word," Jared chuckled. I knew him well enough to detect his own small pang of sadness at Alexi's first word. But like me, he pushed through it. "Preferably in several languages until Evans brings in the swear jar at his place too."

As Jared spoke he climbed to his feet. I took his offered hand and let him haul me up as well. I quickly grabbed my phone, which was thankfully still in one piece, jacket and helmet and we both went back to his apartment.

"Where's the parents?" I asked as I threw my keys into the bowl near the door.

"Went out to see someone in DC," Jared answered. He went straight to the kitchen and started to rummage around in the freezer. "Nat went home to have a shower and get changed. We're all going out to dinner tonight. Coming?"

Jared glanced back at me over his shoulder. I knew by the look on his face he was about to argue if I said no. After such a relaxing morning and half the afternoon, I really wasn't in the mood for an argument.

"Sure," I said with a small shrug. "Where are we going?"

The look of surprise on Jared's face made me duck my head to hide my amusement. I loved being able to surprise him every so often.

"Somewhere that serves food," Jared recovered quickly. He pulled a tub of ice cream from the freezer, along with some bananas and whipped cream from the fridge. "Want some ice cream?"

I wrinkled my nose in response. Both to the request for ice cream and his smart ass answer. Jared just grinned at me while he rummaged around for a bowl. He also got the chocolate topping and sprinkles out. Despite my initial reservation, the banana split Jared was about to make was suddenly looking really good.

"I think we're going to HeeBeen," Jared said after a moment. He began to scoop ice cream into his bowl. "I haven't been in ages and there's enough variety there to make everyone happy."

"Yum, we haven't been to HeeBeen in ages either," I couldn't take my eyes off the bowl of ice cream. Jared broke up the banana and threw it on top of the ice cream. He smothered all of it in an obscene amount of chocolate topping and whipped cream before adding sprinkles on top.

Jared wordlessly reached down and pulled another spoon out. He slid it across the counter as he started to dig into the mess. I eyed off the spoon and back to his sundae a few times before surrendering into the sugar craving. The first spoonful was only small. I tentatively nibbled on the edge of it, wondering if I was pushing my luck with the amount I'd eaten today. As soon as the taste hit my tongue, I was hooked. I eagerly dug into the sundae with Jared. I had a feeling he'd made an extra large helping of it on purpose. We ate in silence until the bowl was scraped clean. As I sat there licking the back of my spoon, Jared reached into his pocket and slid a small card across the island.

"I found this when I went to your apartment," Jared's voice was soft and cautious. "After everything I…"

Jared trailed off and cleared his throat uncomfortably. I picked the business card up, already knowing what it was.

"No one is going to force you to stay in SHIELD to finish off your year," Jared found his voice again. "I thought you might want this."

It was James Rhodes business card. I'd put it on the bedside table and forgotten about it. The card would have gotten buried under all the rest of the junk that seemed to accumulate on there.

"Thanks," I didn't know what else to say. I reached over and slid the business card over to me. Flipping it over I stared at the words and letters, not really reading them. I hadn't thought this far ahead yet. I couldn't even begin to think of what would happen tomorrow, let alone making the decision whether I'd leave SHIELD or not.

"Mom already spoke to Fury about it," Jared pushed his spoon around in the empty bowl.

"I don't think I should be making such a big decision right now," I absently traced my fingers over the numbers.

"Me either," Jared shrugged. "But I thought it was better coming from me than anyone else."

"Thank you," I reached over and gave Jared's hand a small squeeze. "For everything, since this happened."

"Except for drugging you," Jared halfheartedly laughed and squeezed my hand back. "Your metabolism is screwy. I burn through sedatives at twice the normal rate."

"Yeah except for that," I wrinkled my nose and half smiled. "Don't do that again."

Silence stretched out between us as Jared fiddled with the dirty bowl. I tapped my fingers against the bench not able to take my eyes off the business card in front of me. Right now it was a tempting offer now I thought about it. I'd be far away from here. From all the memories that now hurt so badly I didn't think I could breath sometimes. I'd have nearly my old life back. I might have been alone back then, but I really did love being a pilot. Maybe being alone wasn't such a bad thing. If I was alone I had no one else to care about but myself. No one else could leave me or hurt me in anyway.

"No one would blame you if you leave Kari," Jared said softly making me drag my eyes up to his face. He would have known exactly what I was thinking right now. "God knows I'd be considering the exact same thing if I was you right now."

"Would you?" I looked at Jared carefully, searching his face for a lie. He was being 100% serious though.

"Yeah I would," Jared wrinkled his nose slightly. "Some of the shit I've seen and done, it doesn't make me sleep terribly well at night. A few times I've sat back and seriously thought about what I do for a living and if I can see myself doing it for the rest of my life. However long or short that may be. But at the end of the day I know I'd regret leaving. I love my job and everyone here."

Jared's job as a Specialist, as much as I didn't want to admit, could be a hell of a lot more dangerous than STRIKE. One misstep on one of his undercover mission and it could be all over for him. Piss off the wrong person and there were a lot of people in the world who would pay handsomely for Jared's head on a platter.

"You go out there, thinking you're 20 feet tall and invincible," Jared continued. "And then something like this happens and its like a punch in the gut. You suddenly realise everything can come crashing down in an instant and it's a sobering fucking reminder on how we definitely aren't bulletproof or invincible. It's a sobering thought."

"Yeah neither of us suck on cigars and call ourselves Wolverine," I couldn't help the small bit of snark in my tone. Jared grinned at me briefly for the quick comment. Neither of us particularly liked our History teacher back at school.

"Or Deadpool," Jared chuckled lightly. "Did you ever meet him?"

I shook my head. I wasn't even sure who Jared was talking about. I really did miss out on a lot of things by going to a normal school.

"He is one crazy motherfucker with the same healing ability as Logan," Jared explained looking a little lost in a memory. He shook his head and brought himself back into this time. "Anyway, just remember no matter what you decide to do we'll always support you. That means Clint and Natasha as well. They've taken this pretty hard. They both really loved Riley."

So did I. So much that I don't think I'd ever be able to feel something like that again. But even in my own fog of grief I knew Clint had taken this really hard. To let me into his very secret life was one thing. To bring Riley into it as well took a lot of trust that Clint usually didn't have. We'd all lost a part of our crazy little family that day.

"While I'm all for you going to California and becoming a test pilot for the F-35's," Jared looked like he was choosing his words very carefully. "I also couldn't be prouder of you for what you've achieved here in SHIELD. You are STRIKE Team Delta. Something no one else has accomplished. You've been the happiest I've ever seen you. Don't throw all that away on a whim because you're hurting right now. You've picked up the pieces of your life before and I have complete faith that you can do it again."

"And what makes you think that?" I couldn't think of anything else to say to Jared. I was a little dumbfounded at how damn sincere he sounded. I actually believed every single word that was coming out of his mouth.

"Because you haven't gone and rang Colonel Rhodes the second I handed you that card," Jared pushed himself away from the island. "I'm going to have a shower."

Jared left me sitting there, mouth open and ready to argue with him. Even after he had left the room. But my mind couldn't find the words that were needed. Or the words I wanted to throw back at him. I finally snapped my mouth shut and glared at the now closed bathroom door.

Dammit. I really hated it when he was right.


	38. Chapter 38

I stood in the lounge room, arms crossed over my chest with my hands tucked up in my sweater watching the chaos that was my Mom make a fuss.

“Have you got enough food for the next few days?” Mom asked me for the 3rd time in the last 10 minutes.

“Yes and even if I don’t I’ll go and raid Clint’s freezer,” I blew out a small frustrated breath. “But you’ve cooked enough food to feed a small army. I’m scared of opening the freezer in case it all topples out and kills me in the avalanche.”

Dad coughed from behind me as he tried to hide his laughter. I bit the inside of my cheek to stop the smile in response.

Another week had passed since Riley’s funeral. Mom and Dad were heading back to New York as soon as Mom stopped making a fuss over me being left here by myself. Clint, Natasha and Jared had all been called away on a mission a few days earlier. I wasn’t cleared to know about it but I had a very sneaking suspicion it was to do with the group who we encountered in Syria. I’d hugged them all a little tighter than normal before they left. Jared promised me that they’d all come back in one piece. 

“I just don’t want you to have to worry about anything,” Mom looked slightly frazzled as she stood there with her hands on her lips looking up at me. 

“Mom, between you, Lynette and Evans I don’t have a single thing in this world to worry about right now,” I said honestly.

Lynette and Tessa had flown back to Minnesota yesterday. After our dinner at HeeBeen, I’d started to be able to talk to them both a little more. Tessa boyfriend, Jesse had made it for the funeral as well. I’d even gotten the courage to sit down and work a few things with Lynette. I hadn’t really realised how much Riley had actually left to me. He’d wanted me to not only have his SHIELD payment, but what he got from their family business too. I tried to refuse both of them but Lynette was stubborn. She sat there with her arms folded and told me she had more money than she ever dreamed of and I’d take it so I’d never have to worry about money as well. Just like Riley had wanted. When I tried to repeatedly refuse it, she arranged for it to go into a separate account to be there just in case I needed it. I instantly handed the account details over to my Mom and told her not to let me touch it and keep it as a trust fund for Alexi instead. Our apartment was still sitting there, waiting for me to decide what I wanted to do with it. Riley owned it as well, so there was no rush to actually do anything with it. Evans and a few of his guys went and cleaned out the kitchen so I didn’t have to worry about fridge coming to life with a new ecosystem.

“Why don’t you come back to New York with us?” Mom’s face lit up at her sudden suggestion. “You don’t have to go back to work for another few weeks. It could be fun?”

“I promised Laura I’d help out while Clint is away,” it was a small stretch of the truth. While going to New York didn’t sound so bad, I don’t think I could deal with an equally empty house there. Mom and Dad were both needed back at work ASAP. At least here in DC I still had people I knew around. If I got too lonely I’d had a few options on where to go.

“I really don’t like the thought of you hanging around here by yourself,” Mom sighed as my rejection. 

“I’m not by myself,” I tried not to sound argumentative. “Coulson is dropping in twice a day. The guys from Bravo team won’t stop blowing up my phone with texts. Laura will probably knee cap me if I don’t drop in regularly. I’m well covered Mom.”

Mom really wasn’t buying it terribly well. I partly didn’t want to go because I was also dying for my own space. Mom was hovering, trying to keep me busy every second of the day. While I wasn’t saying no to the shopping trips, I was starting to feel guilty and exhausted all at once. Mom was overindulging my shoe fetish as a means to get me out of the apartment and not sitting there doing nothing all day. But I had to admit, the pair of brown knee high boots Mom found for me were amazing. When I showed them to Natasha she was very adamant that when she got back we had to go clubbing and I had to wear them. 

“I just don’t want you to be lonely sweetie,” Mom pursed her lips as she looked at me closely. “Yes, I know I’m frustrating the shit out of you. But you should know why I don’t want you here by yourself.”

I did know. Jared had told me it was standard protocol to keep me basically on suicide watch until I was able enough to be evaluated. I was just lucky enough to have a handler, especially one like Coulson, that knew me well enough that I wasn’t sitting locked in a padded cell. Especially after my little freak out back at Camp Cooke. SHIELD were watching me very, very carefully for a brain snap. 

“I’ll be fine Mom,” I pulled her into a tight hug. “I’ll go bug Laura tonight. Lila has ballet lessons this afternoon so I might even go to them. Abby has an ultrasound in a few days that I promised I’d drive her to. I’ve got plenty to keep me occupied.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to come to New York?” Mom’s voice sounded a little teary as she hugged me tightly. 

“I’m sure,” I felt really guilty for knocking her suggestion back once again. “I’ll be fine and if I’m not I’ll call. It’s only a few hour trip there if I want to ride up.”

“Have someone drive you up here,” Mom corrected as she pulled away. I pulled a face of disgust at the thought of having to do that. 

“Stop fussing Linda,” Dad shoved Mom out of the way and wrapped me up in a suffocating hug. “Kari will just steal a Quinjet and come up. Won’t you?”

“Paul!” Mom admonished him quickly and slapped his arm. “Don't encourage that.”

“Yeah because I’d do it too,” smiling felt a little easer this week. It didn’t feel so forced. Laughing didn’t quite feel so hollow. I still couldn’t say Riley’s name without getting teary. But at least I could manage to semi function. Getting through the day was still exhausting. I’d fall into bed by 8pm most nights and be fast asleep until well after 7. Having nothing to get up for made it very easy to fall into the routine of lingering in bed for another hour every morning as well. Having Dad deliver coffee in bed most mornings didn’t exactly help my motivation to get out of bed.

“I know you would,” Dad pulled back and gave me a playful smile. It faltered as he looked at me more closely. “Ring us if you need anything. No matter what time of day it is.”

“I will,” I promised. I really meant it. “Now go otherwise you’ll get all the crappy traffic.”

“We’ll call when we get home,” Mom pushed Dad out of the way for another hug before she left. She clung on a little tighter and longer than normal. When she finally broke away she looked more than a little tearful this time. She opened her mouth and I knew instantly what the question was going to be. Again.

“I’m fine,” I cut her off before she asked me to come back to New York again. “Go.”

After another few hugs from both of my parents, I was left alone. For the first time in 2 weeks I was completely alone. I wasn’t sure if I was excited that I could lay on the couch eating ice cream in my underwear. Or terrified that now it’d just be me and my mind to keep myself company.

I glanced at my phone to read the time. It was only 1130. I wandered into the kitchen and opened the fridge. It was packed from top to bottom with food. But there was nothing I wanted. I did the same thing to the freezer and the cupboard. Just standing there staring at the shelves having no idea what I wanted. I wanted something but I really didn’t know what it was. I settled on a bag of Doritos before flopping down on the couch and turning the TV on.

I ran through every single channel available on Jared’s extensive cable and came up with nothing to watch. A Captain America documentary was playing on one of the Discovery channel which kept my attention for about 30 seconds. It was more to do with the 2 gorgeous men smiling in the old camera reel. Sergeant Barnes and Captain Rogers were both gorgeous specimens of men. As soon as the narrator started to drone on about something else I got bored and kept channel surfing. 

The Doritos quickly lost their appeal. I only got 1/4 of the day way through the bag before putting them back. I shuffled around between the fridge and pantry yet again trying to work out what the hell I wanted. A handful of Twizzlers later and I was back on the couch, channel surfing and feeling utterly bored. It took another 10 minutes to feel like the walls were suffocating me. I couldn’t sit still. I felt like I was ready to jump out of my skin. I’d shift into a position which would be comfortable for 5 seconds before I felt the need to move again. The second Twizzler I shoved in my mouth nearly made me gag at the sudden disgusting taste of it. I ran to the sink and spat it out, quickly rinsing my mouth out with water. Blegh. I knew I avoided these little red sticks of artificial devilry for a good reason. I threw the bag back into the cupboard where I found them. Fuck this. I needed to go for a run and burn some of this nervous energy off. 

It took me a grand total of 2 minutes to get dressed and be out in the muggy mid morning sun. There was a small park nearly a mile away that would make for an easy jog there and back. I shoved my earbuds into my ears and let the techno mix blare into my ears. My feet hit the pavement and I threw myself into the run. My legs ached within the first 100 feet but it felt good to be out of the apartment. Until I hit about the half a mile mark. I couldn’t go anymore. I stopped dead, gasping frantically for air as I doubled over. Ok, maybe I was a bit worse off than I thought. I could usually go for miles before I needed a breather. My heart rate was stupid high, even after standing there for a few minutes trying to get my breath. My legs were shaking and there was no way I could make myself jog anymore. I’m sure it was just the heat. It was unbelievably sticky and hot, even this early in Spring. Feeling deflated I slowly made my way back to the apartment. 

I didn’t bother with a shower by the time I’d made it back. I just cranked the air con up and fell onto the couch. Nothing could stop me from falling asleep right then and there. 

I woke up at 2122, feeling terrible with my back aching. I groaned, getting up and stretching out feeling my back and neck crack and pop as I moved. I really needed to stop sleeping on the couch. It wasn’t doing my back any favours at all. The kitchen light was on, along with a note on the bench from Coulson saying he didn’t want to disturb me. So much for going over and seeing Laura and the kids today. My phone only had one text on it from Mom letting me know they got back to New York safely. 

I sighed. Great. I wouldn’t sleep at all tonight after sleeping all day. Maybe I should go for another pathetic excuse for a run and see if that wears me out again. My stomach was screaming at me for some real food. Luckily for me there was plenty of that in the freezer. Mom and Dad were both excellent cooks, unlike Jared and I. I was pretty happy to find some of Mom’s Irish stew in the freezer. There was even a small loaf of sourdough bread to go with it. 

After dinner I sat on the couch again, flicking through the various channels feeling utterly bored and wide awake. I finally settled on Return of the Jedi out of nothing else being on. Not that I minded. I was a little bit of a geek at heart sometimes. The original Star Wars trilogy was one of my favourites. I finished the stew and curled up with a pillow, finally settling down and actually watching the movie all the way through. After it’d finished I dug up the first 2 original movies in the DVD collection and put them on. I fell asleep again halfway through The Empire Strikes back. It’d only been a day and I was already going crazy from boredom. 

The next 3 days passed much the same. I’d go for a run, gradually getting longer and longer each time. Come back to the apartment. Eat. Sleep. Wallow on the couch in loneliness and wonder what the hell I was going to do with my life. Right now I’d give anything to be back at work. It might be another reminder of Riley, but at least I’d be too busy to feel anything. Sitting here alone gave me far too much thinking time. Some of it was useful, but most of it was just a reminder of how alone I was right now. I’d gotten a few scarce messages from Natasha letting me know they were all fine on the mission. Even visiting Laura and the kids hadn’t eased that horrible pit where I felt like nothing was ever going to fill it again. 

On the third morning while I was having my morning coffee a reminder popped up on my phone. Seeing what it was in my calendar made me throw together a bag and jump on my bike, heading straight for the Triskelion. I was surprised when I scanned my ID I was actually allowed in the building. I was half expecting to be locked out. But I got in, parked my bike and headed straight up to Coulson’s office. Just as I exited the elevator I saw him walking away from me.

“Coulson,” I called hurrying after my handler down the busy hallway. It was packed more so than usual, I had to weave my way through people as I came up where Coulson was. Coulson turned at the sound of my voice and waited for me to catch up.

“You are not meant to be here for another 2 weeks,” Coulson scolded me gently. I didn’t miss the concern in his face. I squashed down my own irritation. It wouldn’t get me anywhere if I got pissed off at Coulson. He would just get his back up and whatever I was going to ask would be a definite no. He’d mentioned last night on his drop in that he wouldn’t make it because of work today. I’d just forgotten what was actually going on.

“I know,” I couldn’t find the words that I wanted to say to come out next. I had a feeling the answer would be a very firm no. But I was going insane sitting at home doing nothing but think. Then the thinking was driving me insane. I needed something to get me out of bed in the morning. My work email had come through this morning as a reminder about Coulson’s meeting with Stark today. It was something straight forward that I could easily go and do. I just needed to get out of the apartment and start doing something. If I was busy I wasn’t able to get upset.

“If you know, what are you doing here Kari?” Coulson asked looking at me with his never ending patience. People flowed around us not paying attention to our conversation. It felt weird being back at work. The world was still turning around me like nothing had happened. My entire life might have just been turned upside down and thrown into chaos. But SHIELD continued to function. The world outside of me continued to throw itself into chaos and disaster. But life went on. I needed my life to start moving on as well. This was one huge step into making it happen. Maybe a premature step, but it needed to be done.

“I need to get out of the apartment,” I said quickly deciding honestly was going to be the best approach. I couldn’t lie very well at the best of times, let alone to Coulson. “I’m going insane. Mom and Dad left 3 days ago and I’m sitting there staring at the TV with nothing to do. I need to be useful and do something. I need something to get me out of bed in the morning.”

I could see all range of emotions suddenly go across Coulson’s face. Like me he didn’t have a very good poker face. But he was the master of getting them under control very quickly. He looked concerned, thoughtful and proud all at once. I stood my ground just holding his gaze hoping he’d let me at least do something. Right now I wouldn’t care if I had to carry his files around for the next 2 weeks. It was at least something to get my mind off everything.

“I’m flying to Edwards, leaving in 25 minutes,” Coulson finally said. “Go get dressed. You can fly us there.”

I didn’t need any encouragement. I shot off like an excited kid in a candy store. I’d been hopeful and stored a fairly nice business suit in my backpack incase Coulson said yes. It didn’t take me long to get changed and I was in the Quinjet and doing a pre-flight before Coulson had even walked into the hanger. Seeing me already in the pilot seat made him give me a genuine smile. He walked up and gave my shoulder a quick squeeze. 

“Are you sure about this?” Coulson asked.

“You have no idea how good it feels to be sitting here again,” I replied honestly. It really did. Right now was the happiest I’d felt in weeks. “I just need to do something.”

I trailed off not knowing where to go with that sentence. Rightfully I probably shouldn’t be flying until I cleared my latest round of psych evaluations There would be at least a months worth of sessions with Andrew before I’d even be allowed anywhere near an active mission. It made me realise Coulson had just stuck his neck out for me in a big way. The fact he’d been so quick made me think he hadn’t even cleared this with anyone yet. 

“Thank you,” I said quietly. “Getting back means a lot to me.”

“I know,” Coulson gave me one of his rare genuine smiles. “Nothing keeps STRIKE Team Delta down. We are the best at what we do and nothing can stop or change that.”

I couldn’t think of anything else to say so I just returned the smile. It still felt a little forced and awkward on my face but it was there. Jared had been right with needing to pick the pieces of my life up. Suddenly I realised I could pick myself up and keep trudging along. Nothing can change the outcome of what happened. If I sat there dwelling on it, I was going to go crazy. Burying all the emotions that came with it was much easier. Coulson took the co-pilot seat next to me instead of sitting in the back. Looks like this should be a good flight with Coulson’s stories to keep me entertained. 

“Ready for take off,” I’d finished my preflight and strapped myself in while opening the radio channel. “629 Bravo requesting permission for take off.”

“629 Bravo you are clear when ready.”

I took a breath and let the familiar throb of the engines go through me. Squaring my shoulders I couldn’t help but feel a more genuine smile tug on the corners of my lips. Months ago I thought SHIELD was going to be the end of my life. But even with everything that had happened over these last few weeks made me realise that this was where I was meant to be. I had found another family in this life. I couldn’t keep wanting to go and re-live in the past. This was my life now. 

Coulson and I were both silent until I was in the air. It’s not like I needed to concentrate too hard getting in and out of the Triskelion. I’d gotten that part down so easily I could do it in my sleep within my first week. The air traffic was light today so it didn’t take long for us to climb to cruising altitude. I turned the auto pilot on and fiddled with the controls for a moment. I wasn’t sure how I wanted to say what was going to come next. But direct was always a good way to do it.

“I’m staying,” I blurted out. I cringed at my complete lack of tact with such an important statement. I hadn’t meant for it to come out just like that. But its one thing that I had given a lot of thought to over the last few days. All I could think about was getting back to work and being useful again. My heart might have felt like it was still broken but I needed to be useful and do something. Work wasn’t a chore, I loved my job now. I couldn’t see myself doing anything else. It hadn’t been hard to come to the conclusion that once my year of compulsory service at SHIELD was up I was going to stay. Even after everything that had just happened. Jared’s conversation with me when he found Rhodey’s business card had just cemented in what I was already thinking.

Coulson turned to look at me but said nothing else. He didn’t even look surprised.

“My year is up soon and I’ve decided I’m staying,” I clarified rather unnecessarily. “I kind of like my job here.”

“I was hoping you’d say that,” Coulson reached into his jacket pocket and pulled a small black wallet out. It was a standard ID and badge holder. “I was waiting for the right moment to give you your new ID.”

“Why do I need a new ID?” I was confused. There was nothing wrong with my previous ID and badge.

“Welcome to level 6.”

“Serious?” 

“Have a look” Coulson looked amused as he handed my new ID over. 

I flipped it open, nearly dropped it in my haste. There it was. Nothing different on my ID except that I was now a Level 6 agent instead of a lowly Level 4. Dammit, I was kind of hoping for a new ID photo. The standard terrible mugshot in all IDs stared back at me. But the level 6 on it was something very new. And exciting. This would enable me to go on so many more missions with Clint and Natasha. No longer would they be dragged down to boring missions for my sake. Shit just got real. Instead of being terrified, I was actually excited. Being excited felt really good. There really was light at the end of the tunnel. For once it might not be an incoming train.

“Whoa,” was all I could manage out. I felt my lips pull into a smile again. 

“When you didn’t request any time off after Syria except for your forced time, I knew you’d be staying,” Coulson reached over and gave my leg a small squeeze. He looked so proud of me right now. “You’ve been an exceptional Agent over this last few months. You have thrown yourself at every challenge head on and made more progress than most Agent’s do in years of training. I’m very proud of you and the Agent you’ve become.”

I felt myself blush from the rare compliment coming from Coulson. There was a question that had been nagging at me for months.

“Phil” I started feeling a bit unsure of myself. Better in than out with the question. It was one of the many things that had come across my mind while I was sitting there doing nothing over the last few days. “Why did I get assigned to you guys? Not that I’m complaining but it never made sense in my mind. No one else has ever made it onto this team. Why me? I’m nothing special.”

Coulson was silent for a minute. A very long minute. I’d put the jet on autopilot so I had nothing to do but fidget, picking at my nails absently while I waited for my answer.

“If I tell you, do you promise not to get angry about it no matter what?” Coulson finally answered. He looked a little cautious.

I nodded wordlessly, curiosity burning through my now.

“SHIELD had been trying to get a hold of you since the day you graduated high school,” Coulson started sending my eyebrows shooting up. “You’ve never flown under the radar by any means, despite what you think.”

This was news to me. I waited patiently for the whole explanation before I interrupted Coulson.

“Your SAT score of 2350 kind of made you stand out. Not only that, but your request to go to what you call a normal school,” Coulson chuckled briefly. “When you showed no interest in joining SHIELD and went for the Air Force instead there some the issue of your recruiter kind of losing your paperwork and getting things shuffled around.”

I shrugged half heartedly. That was nothing new. Any government agency had a habit of losing paperwork. I’m sure the reason Jared got into the Academy straight out of high school was Mom’s doing. However Coulson had gone to absently picking imaginary lint off his pants and not looking me in the eye. Natasha twirled her hair, I picked my fingernails and Clint tapped his fingers against his leg as a nervous habit. I’d never seen Coulson do anything, so I’m guessing this was his. The fact he even had a nervous habit was news to me. Not much could get the unflappable Agent Coulson in a bind.

“I knew your recruiter,” Coulson finally spat out what he was trying to say. “There was a push from higher up to snap up the smart Lyngley twin, so I called in a few favours. Your paperwork got lost and shuffled around a lot on purpose. He tried to talk you out of being a Pilot and generally tried to push you away from the military. Technically USAF snaffled you up first go around. It wasn’t until the recruiter went on holidays and someone else handled your paperwork you got in. SHIELD had been hoping you’d give up on the idea but you just kept persevering.”

“That I did,” I said dryly. I wasn’t mad, especially not at Coulson. It didn’t surprise me in the slightest the SHIELD was messing with my life long before I actually joined SHIELD. I’d spent a year sitting around waiting for something to happen with my life after high school. I’d never been so bored in my life.

“Yeah,” Coulson looked the most uncomfortable I had ever seen him. “We even sent in Natasha to try and make your applications disappear but it was too late. I got raked over the coals for letting it slip through the cracks. Then you kept distinguishing yourself in so many ways as a Pilot. If that incident at the bar hadn’t happened, I would have been knocking on your door not long afterwards and throwing every bit of charm I could to get you to join SHIELD. Fury even tried to persuade Jared to talk you into it, but Jared was pretty firm on leaving you where you were happiest.”

“So my life was never really my own,” I wasn’t surprised in the least. Jared had told me plenty of times over the last few years that I was being watched. I wouldn’t have been at all surprised if SHIELD really did come knocking if those fuckheads hadn’t of tried to drug me. “SHIELD was always going to come knocking on the door whether I wanted to or not.”

“You don’t sound too surprised,” Coulson said carefully.

“Not really,” I shrugged. “Between my entire family pestering me to join, and my Mom being very unhappy about me being in the Air Force I kind of had a feeling it’d happen eventually. So why assign me to Nat and Hawk?”

“That was more of a hunch than anything else,” Coulson relaxed back into his chair looking relieved. “Natasha had liked you before she even met you. Between Jared’s stories about you, and me sending her in to try and fix my fuck up with your Air Force recruiting. She had decided you and her were kindred spirits. She even volunteered to head back to your old place and help me pack up your apartment.”

“I didn’t know it was you and her doing that,” I shot Coulson a look of disbelief. Then felt a bit uncomfortable thinking of everything they had to pack up. Here’s hoping it was Natasha packing up the contents of my 2nd draw on my bedside table and not Coulson.

“Yeah well I felt I owed it to you a little bit. Met your neighbour too and she shovelled Tasha and I full of pastries, and cried when I told her about you. We had to tell her you were dead, died in a training accident. She was pretty upset.”

“Yeah I figured that was the story,” I felt a pang of brief sadness at poor Mrs Jackson thinking I was dead.

“So when you joined SHIELD, Natasha was the first one to suggest you’d make a good addition to the team. She tailed you for the first 2 weeks to see how you’d handle everything. That day you knocked Jared on his ass during PT just cemented her decision,” Coulson continued with the rest of the story. “Barton was the very indifferent one about it. You know the story, he doesn’t trust easily and having another person intruding on his very closed off personal life wasn’t sitting too well with him. Honestly, if that day at the range you met him, if you hadn’t of shattered the arrow I don’t think it would have been any chance of persuading Barton to let you on the team. Driving back from the range he became pretty adamant that you’d fit right in. From there it was just a case of reporting back to Fury about my initial hunch on you. Fury was more than happy to hand you over to me to keep an eye on.”

“And here I am,” I finished quietly. It was a surprise that Clint might have been against me before we’d met. For once I was very glad that my ego got in the way of my common sense. 

“And here you are,” Coulson confirmed with a nod of his head. “You’re not mad?”

“There’s no point in being mad over something I can’t change,” it would be very easy to get angry about this. But what was the point? My entire life had changed, mostly for the better, because of what happened that night at the bar. “At the end of the day, yeah it’s annoying SHIELD tried to screw with my life. But I’m happy here and with my life. I wouldn’t change that for the world.”

“Good,” Coulson gave a small chuckle. “Because here I was thinking you might throw me off the jet for what I just told you.”

“I’d give you a parachute at least,” I laughed at Coulson. It felt good to laugh again. Very good.

Silence went between us for another few minutes. Coulson was looking out the window at the clouds in the sky.

“Evans is going to offer you Riley’s position on his team,” Coulson’s words nearly made me fall out of my seat in surprise. “Next to Barton you’re the best shot any STRIKE team has. I told him I’d talk to you first so it wasn’t a surprise.”

“I don’t want Riley’s job,” I said instantly. “I’m happy where I am.”

There wasn’t any need to mull over that offer at all. It was true, I was very happy where I was. I didn’t want to fill Riley’s shoes on his team. As much as I liked everyone from his team, it just wouldn’t feel right.

“Good,” Coulson looked very relieved at my words. “I was hoping that was going to be the answer.”

“Sorry you’re still stuck with me,” I gave Coulson a lopsided smile. “You let your kids keep the stray and now she’s pretty happy in her new home.”

“I have to admit, the stray I let my kids keep has gone beyond all my expectations,” Coulson’s smile was a lot more genuine than mine. 

“Though, I am slightly curious now since you’re being so honest with me,” I looked at Coulson as the thought suddenly crossed my mind. “Who would I have ended up with if it wasn’t Hawk and Nat?”

“Either Rumlow or Evans,” Coulson’s answer surprised me a little. “Rumlow asked for you first, but Hill was hesitant about him having no experience as a handler so she didn’t say yes straight away. Not to mention his team are on the younger side, mostly single guys. You can see where that might have ended up.”

“Not well for any of them,” I wrinkled my nose. There were some attractive guys on Rumlow’s team, but STRIKE guys were well and truly off the cards for me now. Even if I’d been assigned to Rumlow’s team I probably would have still ended up with Riley. But if I’d ended up on a big team I’m not sure I’d be where I was right now. I don’t think I would have liked just being another number to make up a STRIKE team. I sure as hell wouldn’t have been getting the experience I’d gotten with Natasha and Clint. Despite me feeling like I was still light years behind Natasha and Clint’s skill sets. At least they made me feel useful and if I didn’t get something, we just kept going until I got it. It wasn't just Riley I was missing right now. I was missing Natasha and Clint something terrible as well. I’d never had everyone away at once before. 

“No I can't imagine it would,” Coulson chuckled briefly. “So today, you can either come with me. Or sit here waiting in the Quinjet. Its up to you.”

“I’ll come with you,” I said instantly. “I’m still curious about how he actually managed to escape.”

Plus I didn’t really want to be sitting in the Quinjet for god knows how long by myself. It was just as bad as sitting at home by myself. 

“You and a lot of other people too,” Coulson said dryly. “Sit back, take notes and see if you can pick up anything. We’ll compare notes over dinner afterwards.”

Coulson was making this sound more like a pleasant day trip more than anything else. I was very glad I’d gotten off my ass this morning and come into work. This was just what I needed to get me back into the swing of things. 

“Who’s shouting dinner?” I asked. 

“SHIELD,” Coulson had a small smug grin. “So if you want to pick, make sure its somewhere nice.”

I was definitely going to google somewhere nice and expensive for us to have dinner. Order the most expensive items on the menu and the premium scotch. It was Malibu. I’m sure there were more than enough nice and expensive places to eat.

The flight to Edwards was uneventful. But Coulson was in a chatty mood making it go quickly. It was good to have something normal happening. As usual, Coulson already had a car waiting for us on the tarmac. After the flight I was more than happy to put my feet up and let Coulson drive us over to Stark Industries. After a boring exchange with the front receptionist Coulson and I both sat in the waiting room. 

Coulson flicked through the latest Time magazine while I fiddled on my phone. We waited. And waited. Then waited some more. It got to the point where even Coulson was beginning to look at his watch. 

High heels coming down the stairs made me glance up. Pepper Potts was walking down the stairs with a determined march. I gave Coulson a nudge with my arm, making him pull his attention up to the stairs.

“Miss Potts?” Coulson looked relieved. “We had an appointment.”

Pepper looked at Coulson in confusion for a second. Right before a look of hard determination came across her face.

“Did you forget our appointment?” Coulson asked politely.

“Nope,” Pepper’s steps increased. “Right now. Come with me.”

“Right now?” Coulson jumped to his feet. I was only a second after him. Where ever Pepper was going, she was definitely in a hurry. 

“We’re going to have it right now,” Pepper glanced over her shoulder. She looked scared and determined all at the same time. It reminded me of myself for my first missions. I was scared but at the same time absolutely sure I could do what I was about to do. “Walk with me.”

“Okay,” Coulson hurried to fall into step with her. 

“I’m going to give you the meeting of your life. Your office,” Pepper marched right out of the building. Coulson and I were right behind her. 

Shit. I didn’t think this was what Coulson had imagined. The look he threw at me meant one thing. He was going to be in trouble for bringing me along with what was about to happen. Why did I always manage to end up in the situations where everything went to shit? I might have to start calling myself shit magnet. 

“Get me an office,” Coulson was on the phone straight away. “Somewhere secure. And some backup would be great as well.”

This day just got a whole lot more interesting.


	39. Chapter 39

“This is unbelievable,” my eyes quickly scanned over the laptop reading all the evidence Pepper provided for us. “Coulson…”

I trailed off as I looked up at my handler. He was standing behind me, eyes scanning the documents on the screen. The video of Tony Stark behind held for ransom was bad enough. The translated version of it being proof that Obadiah Stane that paid for the hit on him nearly made me lose my lunch. This was so much more than any of us anticipated. Digging further into the files brought up everything. Weapons shipments, invoices, encrypted emails between Stane and a group called Ten Rings. It was the same group Natasha and Jared heard whispers about back in Afghanistan. That was all overshadowed by the fact Stane was trying to make a mechanical suit. Apparently just like Stark had used to escape captivity. But Stark didn’t finish at that. He’d been building new and better suits over the last few months while he was out of the public eye. Leave it to someone like Tony Stark to build himself a flying weapons suit. I’m sure SHIELD was going to be salivating about the prospect of getting their hands on that kind of tech. 

“Ok,” Coulson tapped his fingers against his mouth. “I’m going to take some agents in to arrest Stane. Kari, you can stay back here and work surveillance. Hack into everything around Stark Industries. I want it all. Traffic camera, private surveillance. You name it, I want it.”

My fingers hovered above the keyboard. I looked back at Coulson who’d turned to coordinate with another agent. The SHIELD office here in Malibu was fairly small, But a few field agents were available and all waiting Coulson’s orders. There was a larger office in LA, about a 45 minute drive from here. They were on standby for back if needed.

“Umm Sir?” I said timidly. Coulson was neck deep in conversation and he didn’t hear me. Pepper looked over at me though. This was the first time she’d been silent in the last hour.

“Coulson?” I tried again. 

Coulson continued to talk with the other agents, discussing the plans to breech and contain Stane. Pepper put in that she could easily get them into the facility. However she wasn’t sure if her access was going to work. I watched the conversation bouncing between people with no one paying attention to me.

“Coulson,” I raised my voice and added a bit more force behind it. There we go. He glanced over at me with an irritated look.

“You brought the wrong team member to hack anything,” I said quickly before I got into trouble for interrupting him. “Do you want me to ring someone at the Hub and get it up for you?”

Coulson stared at me like I’d just grown another head.

“No that’ll take too much time,” Coulson said with a shake of his head when he finally spoke. “Shit. How can you not know how to hack something?”

“I can take the computer apart and put it back together,” I gave an apologetic shrug. “Sorry Coulson. I must have missed the course on breaking into security systems.”

Pepper managed to politely cover her laugh. The other agents not so much. But now I had a bit more attention on me. Coulson hadn’t introduced me to the other agents. I’d basically been pushed down in front of the computer to bring up all the information Pepper had on the flash drive.

“Your Dad is one of the best hackers we have in SHIELD,” Coulson looked flabbergasted as he tried to process what I was saying. I didn’t know that. But I wasn’t surprised. Dad was a smart person. It was always a bit of a joke that I had to get my brains from somewhere. It was little surprise he could hack into anything he felt like. No wonder Jared always got into trouble for all the porn on his computer when we were teenagers. 

“Apparently having a daughter who can shoot just about anything in many creative ways, he didn’t feel the need to add to my arsenal of things to get into trouble with,” I gave Coulson a small smile. “Besides, you’ve seen how slow I type.”

My typing speed would lucky to be about 30 words a minute. Natasha’s fingers were a blur when she typed. Clint was only a margin behind her. It irritated me to no end how they could both type without looking at the screen. Then the way they both sat there smirking as it took me at least 20 minutes longer than them to finish mission reports. It drove me 20 different types of insane when they did it.

Coulson looked at me carefully. I just steadily held his gaze. His face gave nothing away to his thoughts right now. I could easily sit here and run communications if someone could get me into all the cameras Coulson wanted for eyes. I’m sure if I could get a hold of Natasha she’d even help me do it, rather than going through the official channels. 

“Agent Coulson if I can be of any help,” Pepper spoke up. “I have a way to help Agent Lyngley with what she needs.”

“Do it,” Coulson nodded before turning to the other agents. At the mention of my last name, a lot more curious looks were getting thrown my way. “Everyone I need weapons and ready to leave in 20. Make it happen. Miss Potts?”

Pepper was already typing away on her phone. She put it down on the desk next to me, on speaker.

“JARVIS, can you help Agent Lyngley with bringing up all surveillance around Stark Industries,” Pepper asked politely. 

“Certainly Miss Potts,” a crisp British accent answered promptly. It sounded a little too off to be a real person. But it was pretty damn close.

I raised my eyebrow at the phone. I’d heard of Tony’s AI that basically ran everything in his personal home. But to actually be speaking, if you could call it that, to him was a different matter. As if my job wasn’t weird enough.

A few seconds later the computer came to life with live feed of everything that was asked for. All in neat folders, all the different views from the Stark Industries security feed. Right through to the traffic cameras within a 10 block radius. All within an easy click for me.

“Thats so cool,” I grinned at the screen quickly clicking through the various cameras. “I need this to run the camera in the mens shower back at HQ.”

“There is no camera in the mens shower at HQ,” Coulson rolled his eyes. He hesitated before upholstering his sidearm. The standard issue Glock 17 was his preferred weapon. My eyebrow lifted in surprise first, then my eyes went back up to Coulson. 

“Just in case,” Coulson’s jaw tightened for a second. “Can I…”

“You can trust me,” I reassured Coulson before he could finish. “I’m fine Coulson. Just be careful?”

There was a lot more emotion behind my last little plea than I meant for it to be. First Clint, Natasha and Jared had gone off on a mission without me. Now Coulson. I was feeling a little vulnerable sitting at the desk behind a computer about to be left by myself. 

“We’ll be fine,” Coulson patted my shoulder. “Sit tight. Be good.”

“I will,” I glanced down to Pepper’s phone. “JARVIS and I will go about installing that camera in the mens shower in the STIRKE locker room.”

“Your idea of good is starting to be corrupted by your teammates,” Coulson hand squeezed my shoulder a little tighter. “Channel 7.”

“Channel 7,” I echoed with a nod. There was a communication earpiece already sitting on the desk ready for me.

“Behave,” Coulson warned. His tone just made me smile instead of feeling warned. There wasn’t much I could get into trouble with here anyway. Even if I could get a camera in the mens shower in the STRIKE locker room, I really didn’t want to see most of them naked.

Pepper was watching our small exchange with curiosity all over her face. She didn’t get to ask any questions. Coulson turned to her and gestured towards the door. I watched them both leave with my apprehension growing even more at their retreating figures. 

Ok. I could do this. I shifted in the chair and pulled it in a little closer to the desk. I pulled up the security cameras for the entry for Stark Industries. There wasn’t much going on. It was late evening and most people had left for the night. I fitted the earpiece and waited for it to crackle to life. Everything was so quiet with just me in the room now. 

“Do you require me for anything else Agent Lyngley?” JARVIS’ voice made jump in surprise. I half fell off the chair in my surprise at the voice coming from the phone. I’d completely forgotten about the AI being there. Well, kind of. As there as an AI could be.

“No, thank you JARVIS,” I hauled myself back into the chair and stared at the phone. The screen had locked so I tentatively tapped on the home button. A photo of Pepper and Tony came back onto the screen. It was a lovely photo. They both looked very happy and carefree in the obvious mock selfie. It made me smile and feel sad at the same time. Riley had a photo just like that of us on his phone as his lockscreen. The thought of Riley made my throat constrict and tears spring to my eyes. I quickly pushed those thoughts away, wiping over my face hastily. I couldn’t think about that now. 

“If you need me, just double tap on the home button,” JARVIS voice came through the phone. Despite hearing it before, it made me jump again. The screen lit up briefly as JARVIS spoke through it.

The phone screen faded to black and I was left alone with nothing but my thoughts. 

Hollywood had a lot to answer for. Being a spy or any kind of agent was always painted as a glamorous and action filled life. It was always a series of action. Never any waiting around. Nothing was ever boring. Yet here I was. A trained SHIELD agent, part of STRIKE Team Delta, stuck in front of a computer. Whats more there wasn't even any action happening. Just people milling around, going about their daily routines like the world wasn’t in peril. Even the communications were quiet. I could hear everything through Coulson. But everything else was a blank. I tapped my fingers against the table, idly flicking through the windows. 

This went on for another half an hour. It wasn’t until Coulson planted a small bomb on a door for access that I sat up a little straighter.

“Yay,” I muttered as I watched the security feed. 

The small explosion made easy work of the doors locking mechanism. Just as Coulson breeched the door, all the cameras went black. The comms in my ear went eerily silent after all the noise of the last half hour. 

“Shit,” I smacked the side of the laptop. Not that it did anything to help. I reached up and opened up the comminations link. “Coulson, do you copy?”

I was met by static. 

“Uh oh,” I frantically scrolled through all the windows. I had nothing. Absolutely nothing within a 10 block radius of Stark Industries. What the fuck?

“JARVIS?” I double tapped the home button on Pepper’s phone. “What happened to the feed?”

“It appears to be a security shut down at the source,” JARIVS sounded apologetic. “I’m rebooting the system now, but it appears to be a hardware problem.”

“Fuck.”

There was no other word for it. What the hell was I meant to do now? Someone cutting the security feed could only mean a lot of trouble for the team on the ground. I didn’t even know what to do in this situation. I fished my phone out of my pocket and rang the first person I knew who could help. Or at least knew the protocol for what to do in this situation. Coulson’s phone was sitting on the table across from me. So there went my first point of contact. So I rang the only person I knew who’d be able to help me right now, and could rely on them to actually answer the phone.

My Mom was not going to be happy about me being back at work. I grimaced as I found her work number and hit the numbers on the screen. 

“Agent Lyngley,” Mom answered within 2 rings. 

“Hi Mom,” I tried to sound casual. I slammed the laptop shut and fiddled with the Glock on the table. “Can you give me a hand with something?”

“Sure,” Mom’s tone was instantly suspicious. 

“So, hypothetically, if I was running surveillance for a mission and everything went dark, what would the protocol be?” 

“You mean besides me killing whoever cleared you to be in the field,” Mom’s voice was dust dry. She was not amused at all. “You would generally call for back up.”

The long pause made me know exactly what Mom was about to say next. 

“And you’d go in while waiting for backup,” Mom sounded very begrudging to be handing that piece of information over. “Kari, where are you?”

“In Malibu,” I cringed. “Coulson had an appointment with Tony Stark today. Things kind of went to shit.”

The heavy sigh from Mom was painful. I could feel her disappointment and being pissed off through the phone. Poor Coulson was really going to wear it when he got back. I’m sure I wasn’t going to get off lightly either seeing it was my idea to ask to tag along. 

“Nearest office to you is LA,” Mom finally said after a few moments pause. “Go in for backup, I’ll ring the office and let them know you’ll need a team to come in. Better safe than sorry. I’ll patch it through to the Hub as well.”

“Thanks Mom, I’m heading to Stark Industries,” I stood up and grabbed Coulson’s Glock. I was so not dressed for this. But my suit and heels would have to do for this. Natasha often smugly claimed she could run in 4 inch heels as easily as she could barefoot. I’d yet to test that theory on me. Worse case scenario I’d just kick the damn things off. 

“Be careful,” Mom actually sounded worried. “Are you armed?”

“Yep,” I didn’t want to add Coulson had left it here for me. It was just another thing Mom would add to her shit list. 

“Ring me when you’re done,” Mom hung up before I could get another response in. 

Right. Time to work for a living. I could deal with Mom’s wrath later on. I hurried down to the garage. Thankfully being a small SHIELD office, the keys were all in an unlocked cabinet. It wasn’t far to Stark Industries, but I don’t think me running there was going to be a good idea. Neither was trying to use my abysmal lock picking skills that Clint had been trying to teach me for ages. It didn’t take long to get into the nice Audi and heading down the highway. 

It wasn’t until I was halfway to Stark Industries I realised what could have just made my job a lot easier. I should have grabbed Pepper’s phone so I had the help of JARVIS. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Goddammit. How could I be so stupid? Well, fuck it. I was just going to have to do this the old fashioned way. Shoot shit. At least Clint would be proud of me for that line of thinking. 

I pulled up at Stark Industries just in time to see something shoot into the sky in a blue of red and gold. A second behind it, what looked to be some sort of suit taking off after him. 

“What the fuck?” I gaped up at the sky. I’d never seen anything like that. I knew there’d been some pretty impressive developments in drone technology lately. But whatever was flying up there looked more like 2 men in suits.

“Agent Lyngley!” Pepper’s panicked voice brought me back down to Earth. She was rushing down the stairs, taking care so she didn’t trip on her own enormous heels.

“Miss Potts,” I turned to face her. She looked terrified. I could see her hands shaking from a distance. “What happened?”

“Obadiah’s gone insane,” Pepper’s eyes trailed up towards the sky. “He built a suit, I don’t know what happened to the agents.”

“Ok just stay here,” looking to the entrance of the building it was pretty easy to follow the trail of destruction. Heres hoping that backup was going to come quickly. Whatever was happening in the sky would have to wait. Pulling the Glock out, I made my way into the lab. 5 steps in and I was really regretting my choice of footwear. But with the amount of broken glass around going barefoot really wasn’t going to be an option.

The first agent I came across was lying face first on the floor. Thankfully still breathing, I rolled him over onto his back and gave him a none too gentle tap on the cheek. He didn’t stir, not even a flutter across his face. Of course this couldn’t be easy. Nothing ever seemed to be at work.

“Please don’t be heavy,” I pleaded with whatever higher power might be listening. I grabbed him by the arm and half picked, half dragged him back out of the building. Poor guy was going to have some glass stuck in his leg and ass. But at least he was clear.

Further inspection of the building found the other 4 agents. All unconscious, but alive. But still no sign of Coulson. By the time I’d pulled the last agent out of the building Pepper was holding her hand to her ear. 

“How are you going to do that?” Pepper looked ready to panic. 

Despite not knowing what was going on, I reached over and put what I hoped to be a reassuring pat on Pepper’s arm. She just looked at me with wide eyes and not really seeing me. I wonder if that’s what I looked like with my first few missions. Or when I was about to do something scary. If it was, no wonder it was hard for Clint and Natasha to keep a straight face around me. I inwardly scowled and made a mental note to stop looking like a startled deer in the future. 

“I’m going in now,” Pepper nodded at whatever she was being told. She turned to me. “Tony wants me to blow to arc reactor.”

“Where’s Agent Coulson?” I tried to be reassuring to Pepper. But I was starting to feel some minor panic myself. How much damage was that going to cause? I’d only read bits and pieces of the Arc Reactor when it was created. That thing had enough power to run buildings for years. It could cause city wide devastation for all I knew. 

“I don’t know, he went in and he hasn’t come back out again,” Pepper shook her head rapidly. “I haven’t seen him.”

“Just give me a few minutes before you blow the building up,” I tried to sound as firm as possible. Only one of us could freak out right now. That couldn’t be me. I had to be the strong one here. At least until I found Coulson. Or backup arrived. I’d much rather find Coulson first. At least then he could take over. Right now I was acting on impulse. I really didn’t know what the hell I was doing. 

Pepper nodded vigorously. She looked so lost for words right now. I ran back in as quickly as my Manolo’s would take me. The lab was huge. I was going to need all the time I could to find Coulson. 

I started where I found the last agent. It wasn’t hard to find that. The last agent had a cut on his head which left a small stain of blood on the concrete. I stood next to the blood stain and did a full 360 turn. There were just too many places he could have gotten to. Multiple doors led off the main lab. But from what I could see they were all locked. So unless Coulson had learnt to walk through walls, they were out.

“Coulson” I called out across the empty space. The lab was completely deserted, so at least I didn’t have to worry about anyone hearing me. The answering silence was deafening. “Coulson!”

A muffled groan. So soft I nearly missed it. Coming from my right. I turned on my heel and moved towards where I thought I heard the sound. It hadn’t been far. Though with how quiet it’d been I could be mistaken. 

“Coulson?” I called out again. I strained my ears listening for any sign of life. 

Nothing. I grumbled under my breath, swearing in Icelandic as I resumed my search. My eyes scanned the left of the room which was mostly in darkness. Fumbling for my phone for a light, I tripped over something. I hit the ground, knees first, wincing as broken glass went into my knee and palms. The Glock went skidding across the ground, just out of reach. 

“Motherfucker,” I grumbled. I could feel blood leaking from both my hands and knees instantly. My head was so not in the game right now. Whatever I tripped over, correct whoever I tripped over, groaned and rolled over onto their back.

“Ouch,” Coulson’s quiet declaration made me scramble over the floor, oblivious to all the glass.

“Coulson,” I gave him a gentle shake as I knelt besides him. “Come on Coulson, I need you.”

My voice hitched a little at those words. This really wasn’t turning out how I wanted thing to be for this mission. This was meant to be a quiet little plane trip and a nice dinner. Not dragging a team of agents out of a building and having my handler knocked out. 

“Your mother is going to kill me for this,” Coulson whispered. 

That made me smile. If only a little bit. 

“Can you sit?” I reached down and grabbed Coulson’s hand. It was hard to make him out in the darkened spot, nearly squashed under some equipment. If his leg hadn’t been sticking out I’d still be wandering around looking for him. 

“Yep,” Coulson’s hand gripped mine tightly. I shifted my weight and helped pull him into a sitting position. He was half in the light now. As soon as he was sitting, Coulson winced and reached up to his head. Even in the dim light I could see the side of his head slick with blood. I was instantly checking it over, probing at it far too hard. A small bit of panic worked its way into my gut seeing Coulson hurt. I needed to make sure he wasn’t going to bleed out right here. The logical part of my brain just wouldn’t believe that this was nothing but a minor head wound.

“Kari!” Coulson’s voice snapped me back to reality. I quickly shook my head and blinked a few time before I looked back to him.

“I’m here,” I said, more to reassure myself than anything else. I was here. Back in the current moment. Coulson needed me here. Not distracted by ghosts.

“You are going to have a very long talk with Andrew as soon as we get back to DC,” Coulson winced as he gripped my hand a little tighter. “I think I need one too for being stupid enough to believe nothing would happen when I let you come along.”

Coulson would have guessed pretty easily what was going on in my head right then. But now wasn’t the time to sit here and argue with him over it. I got to my feet, helping Coulson up as I went. He was unsteady on his feet, nearly falling straight back over again. I gripped his hand tighter and quickly threw the arm over my shoulder for support. 

“Pepper has instructions to blow the building,” I told Coulson as we both started to limp out. I could definitely feel the glass shards in my knees now. My feet were killing me, along with my hands. 

“Good,” Coulson winced as we limped along. He was leaning on me a lot heavier than I thought he would. Whatever hit him must have packed a wallop. I’d seen Coulson spar with Clint before. He could definitely hold his own. Right now it was only me supporting him that was actually keeping him on his feet. It felt like it took hours to get ourselves out of the building. The second we stepped out into the warm night air, Pepper bolted back up the stairs and into the door with a loud bang. 

“Mom said she’d ring LA for backup,” I sat Coulson down near where I’d left the other agents. He looked very grateful to be able to collapse onto the ground again. I quickly looked at my watch. “That was about 20 minutes ago. They should be here any second.”

“Good,” Coulson visibly winced as grabbed at his bleeding head. It took every ounce of self control for me not to stare at it. I just had to keep my eyes fixed on his face. That way I’d be fine. I couldn’t believe my little mind trip back there. I hadn’t thought about that moment at all. I didn’t want to ever re-live that.

“What else do you need me to do?” I felt hopelessly and utterly lost right now.

“I’m a dead man,” Coulson muttered under his breath before speaking up. “Sniper rifle in the boot of the car. Building 200 yards, 3 o’clock. I need eyes for this one.”

“On it,” I didn’t need to be told twice. “What am I doing with it?

“Your scope can send a live feed back to base,” Coulson looked pale. I didn’t doubt he had one hell of a concussion. Seeing him look like he was about to pass out made me hesitate. 

“Thats an order,” Coulson said firmly at my hesitation. “I’m fine, just go.”

Glass still stuck in my knees, I bolted to the car and found the promised sniper rifle. It was a standard issue M24. It was 15 extra pounds I wasn't expecting to be lugging around while in a suit and heels. Adrenaline kicked in as soon as it was in my hands though. Every ache and pain was quickly forgotten as I ran to the building Coulson directed me to. The only thing I could think of was that I could brag to Natasha about being able to run in heels now. The power was out in the building too, so I had to run up all 6 stories to get to the roof. Muscle memory had the rifle set up in a few seconds and me laying behind it, peering through the scope. What I saw made me pull my head back in surprise, rub my eyes and try again.

Nope, I wasn’t imaging 2 men in metal suits fighting on a rooftop. It was actually happening in front of me. A second later, the larger of the 2 robots opened up to reveal Stane in it. The red suit which I should have known was Stark, now minus his helmet, stood on top of the roof a few feet away.

I could see lips moving but my abysmal lip reading skills prevented me from actually knowing what was being said. I really needed to work on that a bit more with Clint. I shook my head and focused on the task at hand. My mind was all over the place today.

A shower of bullets aimed at Stark made the glass roof collapse a few seconds later. I could make out Stark grimly hanging onto the roof support. State was turned side on to me, so I couldn’t see much of what he was doing. The missile he suddenly fired, and missed, at Stark was hard to miss though. 

Stane suit was in the way of me making a shot to take him out. As he raised his fist again, I quickly lined a shot up. If nothing else, the minor distraction would help Stark to get out of the way a bit more. Squeezing the trigger, the familiar feeling of everything slowing down hit me. The world dropped into slow motion as the rifle went off with a muted bang. 2 seconds later, I heard the satisfying ping of the bullet hitting metal. The shot had done nothing to the armour. Not even a dent could be seen through the scope. Suddenly the attention was on me. State whirled and faced the exact direction of me. Through the scope it felt like he was staring me down, even though he wouldn’t actually be able to see me. He raised his arm.

Uh oh.

I didn’t wait. No way in hell I was staying here and letting myself get blown to pieces. I abandoned the rifle and bolted as far as my legs could carry me. Behind me, the side of the building exploded into a mess of concrete. The blast was enough to knock me clean off my feet. My head hit the ground half a second later. I was out like a light instantly.

I came to with an ice pack on the side of my head, propped against a wall. A cracking headache quickly made itself known the second my eyes opened. Ouch. I gingerly reached up and touched my aching head. I winced as just touching near the source of the ache hurt like hell. At least I wasn’t blown to bits. Through the blur I could make out someone in front of me. It wasn’t until a light shone in my half opened eyes I actually came to properly. 

“Get that fucking light out of my face,” I grunted trying to swat the offending hand away. It was a feeble attempt. My hand just bounced uselessly off the arm. Whoever it was, laughed at me and the light continued in my face. 

“STRIKE or Specialist?” it was a males voice. “Typical of both to give themselves a concussion and first thing they want to do is get my fucking light out of their face.”

“STRIKE,” I blinked rapidly and the light was gone. Instead in the dim light I could make out a SHEILD agent crouched in front of me. 

“How many fingers,” the agent asked holding up 3 fingers.

“3,” I confirmed. 

He held up 4 fingers this time.

“4,” I grunted. “What happened?”

“You hit your head,” the agent supplied unhelpfully. “And went skidding across the ground as well. You should have seen the amount of glass I pulled out of your knees and hands.”

I looked down to my knees which had already been patched up. My hands were still bare, but at least the glass had been pulled out of them. I had a massive scrape down my right arm that was raw and weeping. My jacket was gone and my skirt was in tatters, I was missing both of my shoes. I really didn’t want to look in the mirror right now.

“What happened with Stark?” I tried again, this time being more specific so I might actually get an answer.

“He's fine,” the medic turned away from me slightly to rustle through a bag on the ground next to him. “Any allergies Agent Lyngley?”

“Concrete walls, they knock me right out,” I said dryly. The ice pack was getting warm against my skin. I put my hand up to it and let it ice over again. It wasn’t really doing anything for my headache. But at least it felt good against my skin.

“Funny,” the medic rolled his eyes before turning back to me with a syringe in hand. I eyed the contents warily. Last time I’d been injected with something didn’t end so well for me. It was a good thing I didn’t hold a grudge otherwise Jared would be in trouble. 

“Where’s Agent Coulson?” I asked to take my eyes and mind off what I was assuming to me a good hit of morphine. 

“Being yelled at on the phone I think,” the medic shrugged. He grabbed my arm and ran an alcohol swab on the inside of my elbow. He eyed my arm before giving the veins a small poke with his finger. The more muscle I was putting on, the more my veins were starting to stand out. “When was the last time you drank something.”

I scrunched up my face trying to think back on what I’d actually done today. But the likelihood of the question was that I hadn’t drunk anything since I’d come into work this morning. In my moment of distraction, I felt the sharp prick of the needle sliding into my vein and something cold being injected. 

“Ow,” I grumbled.

“You’ll thank me for it in about 5 minutes,” the medic shot me a small grin. “If you have to think that hard to remember when you last drank something, it means you need some water. If you can’t keep it down I’ll hook up an IV line.”

“I’m fine,” besides my aching head and body, I didn’t feel that badly off. My body had taken worse beatings than this. “I’ll sit here, drink my water and behave.”

By the unbelieving look the medic gave me, I had a funny feeling he wasn’t going to trust me at all. But with the shredded clothes and no shoes, I wasn’t about to get up and start walking around. But the medic didn’t say anything else, he just left there against the wall with my thoughts. Today had turned out to be far too much action for my current state of mind. Agents milled around, no doubt a massive clean up crew already working in overdrive. I didn’t recognise where I ended up, but the undamaged building in front of me still said Stark Industries. So we couldn’t have been moved too far away. While checking my surroundings, the medic came back and put 2 water bottles on the ground, then left without another word.

Again I was left sitting there by myself as the world kept turning in its craziness. Everything happened in such a blur since I’d gotten in the car to come over here. I could hardly believe I’d actually managed to keep myself together throughout it all. 

Months ago, I asked Natasha how she managed to lock down her emotions and just get the job done. Her response had been a shrug and her saying that when you do this job it just becomes conditional. You don’t have to think about it. Everything just happens and falls into place and lets you focus on the task at hand. Maybe thats what happened today. My work mind just finally started kicking in. Or Natasha was just rubbing off on me in more ways than I ever cared to imagine. I had a feeling it more the latter than the former. Despite all my training, there were times that I still felt like the complete rookie. 

“Agent Lyngley,” Pepper’s voice broke through my thoughts. I looked up to find her standing in front of me with a gym bag in her hands. Unlike before where she looked scared and uncertain, she now looked calm and fully in control.

“That’s me,” I shifted uncomfortably. My body was going to hate me in the morning. At least the headache was disappearing fast.

“I brought you a change of clothes,” Pepper gave me a small smile as she held the bag up. “We look about the same size. I don’t think your skirt is in any shape fit to be seen in public. They’re just gym clothes, but its all clean.”

“It’s really not,” I tugged at the shredded material. “Thank you Miss Potts.”

“Pepper,” she corrected as she sat the bag down next to me. “After all this, I think we can deal with being on a first name basis.”

“Then its Kari for me too,” I returned the smile as I climbed to my feet. I winced as every muscle in my body seemed to scream in protest at the action. But I couldn’t sit propped up against the wall for the rest of the night. “Thank you so much Pepper.”

“My office is untouched, you can get changed in there,” Pepper offered.

“No I’m good, I don’t want to be doing the walk of shame in front of 100 agents and showing off my Little Miss Naughty underwear,” I should have picked up the bag up first. Now I had to bend down, slowly and painfully to pull the clothes out. My back really wasn’t happy with me. It hurt more than the skin taken off my body. Just when the scar had finally faded on my leg from coming off my motorbike, I’d given it a new one. 

“That is both disturbing and highly hilarious at the same time,” Pepper giggled. She moved so she was shielding me from most of the public view. “But part of me also wants to know where you got them from.”

“A friend brought them for me actually,” I smiled in memory. Natasha had been so smugly pleased when she’d found them. The bright pink boy leg had the cartoon characters done in sequins on them. The Little Miss Naughty ones were by far my favourite. Inside the bag was a pair of 3/4 tights, a simple t-shirt and a pair of sneakers. More than enough to get me covered and respectable. I quickly pulled on the tights under my ruined skirt and swapped the blouse for the t-shirt. It's amazing what a change of clothes could do. I almost felt somewhat normal in some clean and undamaged clothes.

“Hows Mr Stark?” I asked. The question should have come up before now. I really wasn’t at my brightest and best today. 

“He’s fine,” Pepper turned so she was facing me. She almost looked exasperated. A look I’m sure she had on her face on a daily basis considering who she worked for. “As always, getting himself into major trouble and then out again. He and Rhodey have gone to the hospital. Can I get you anything else?”

A few days sleep, a bottle of scotch and as much ice cream as I could cram in sounded pretty good. But right now I wouldn’t be getting any of that. 

“Yeah I think I need to find Coulson,” I held back my sigh. 

“He’s on the phone over there,” Pepper pointed in the darkness. “It sounds like he's getting in trouble from someone.”

I cringed. Poor Coulson was no doubt on the phone with Mom. I wanted to be far, far away from that right now. I’m sure I’d be getting a very stern lecture as soon as I had to talk to my Mom.

“Anywhere that we can get a coffee?” I changed my tactics. 

“Coffee sounds amazing,” Pepper’s face brightened at the thought. “I always keep a stash in my office.”

“Lead the way.”

Pepper was right about a stash in her office. Coffee was perfect to bond over. She even had a secret chocolate stash, which we both nearly decimated. Pepper was raised in a small country town in Wyoming, an only child. She applied for Stark Industries on a whim straight out of high school. She spent a year as a general office assistant, until one day Tony had come into the office. Pepper had been busy and when Tony had started to ask for something, she simply shushed him and told him to wait his turn. Apparently Tony took a liking to her no nonsense attitude and made her PA the next day. She’d been at Stark Industries for 13 years now. 

In return, I was in the middle of giving my censored version of how I joined SHIELD, when Coulson found us. He looked so relieved to see me upright and looking only a little worse for wear. Despite the stitches on the side of his own head, Coulson looked in all right shape as well. 

“Coffee?” Pepper asked getting to her feet. We were both on our third. It was the only thing keeping me awake. My phone was lost somewhere along the way tonight. I had no doubt it was smashed into pieces on the rooftop. 

“No, thank you,” Coulson smiled as he looked between us. “Kari, we’ve got rooms booked at a local motel if you want to catch some shut eye. There’ll be a press conference bright and early tomorrow.”

“Coming,” I stood up slowly. I’d lost track of time with everything happening tonight. But it was getting close to midnight now. As I got to my feet, Coulson handed me a phone. 

“And you can talk to you Mom while we drive there,” Coulson’s innocent smile made me shudder in horror. I mouthed a good bye to Pepper. Before I could move, she jumped up and gave me a quick hug. 

“Thank you for all your help,” Pepper said quietly before she pulled away. “I hope we won’t be strangers after tonight.”

“Me too,” it was so refreshing to talk to someone so normal. Well, someone who wasn’t involved in SHIELD in any way shape or form. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Pepper would be needed as part of the press conference. That I knew without even asking. Coulson said a quick goodbye and I dialled Mom’s number as we headed out of the building. The phone barely got halfway through the first ring before Mom picked up.

“I swore to myself I’d never say this once I found out Fury had put you in STRIKE,” Mom gushed out instantly. “But for fuck sake, are you all right Kari?”

That made me falter in my step for a second. Mom never interfered with work. She rarely spoke to me about it actually. While I was sure she kept tabs on whatever missions I was doing, she stayed well out of that side of my life. 

“I’m okay,” I was sore, exhausted beyond belief and a little dumbstruck on how everything had turned out today. But I was okay. For the first time in a few weeks, I could actually believe those two words coming out of my mouth. It was a good feeling to have.

I just hoped nothing else would ruin that feeling. Not for another few days at least. It was nice to emerge from my fog of grief and feel like a functional human again. 

“I’m okay,” I repeated, this time with a smile on my face. I really meant it. The sigh of relief on the other end of the phone made me know Mom knew it too.


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, this gets a little dark towards the end. If that's going to upset you, don't read!

I am Iron Man. 

Those 4 words made my life crazily busy for the next 2 weeks. Coulson and I were meant to be going back to DC straight after the press conference. But Stark announcing to the world he really was Iron Man meant we were stuck in Malibu caught up in the media circus. SHIELD wanted to keep the PR fires burning at an absolute minimum. Coulson being a senior agent and already on the ground meant he got lumped with it. In return, I got lumped with it too. I had told myself I’d be happy to do anything rather than sit at home. I definitely got my wish there. 

2 weeks of living off takeaway, long days and me following Coulson around acting as his PA wore me down. Every night I was so exhausted I collapsed into bed and didn’t stir until my alarm went off. Or when Coulson woke me up for something. Sometimes that happened at all hours of the morning. Tony was completely oblivious to the problem he’d just created. A never ending parade of interviews meant a security nightmare. According to Coulson, the intelligence and not so nice communities of people were all a buzz with chatter. There wasn’t a second that Stark went unguarded. Whether he realised it or not. I had barely seen more than a glimpse of him. But the bright part of my days was my lunch dates with Pepper. Through all the turmoil going around Stark, she was the calm little beacon of everything.

If a SHIELD needed anything to do with Stark, I’d call Pepper. She was my go to point for just about everything to do with Stark. In return, I was her go to for anything she needed from SHIELD. I’d basically become a more blonde and much less capable version of Pepper over the last 2 weeks. I even had to wear a suit to work, instead of my usual tactical field gear. At least SHIELD had been good enough and given me a clothing allowance for my time here.

It was Friday of the second week. I was struggling to stay awake as I stirred my coffee, slumped in my seat across from Pepper. She was half looking at the menu and half paying attention to an email she was rapidly typing out on her phone. Unlike me, she looked spritely and well rested. I’d kill to know how she managed to get through things like this on a daily basis. 2 weeks of this and I was ready to chew my own arm for a sleep in. On the plus side, this had kept me completely and thoroughly distracted of everything else happening in my life. I was just too tired I think about anything else. Andrew had been checking on me via email. Our extended time away meant I was very behind on getting the sessions I needed to do to get back in the field again. Not to mention my birthday had come and gone with very little fuss. I hadn’t even been able to get a hold of Jared on the day, so I just left him a happy birthday message instead. Coulson had at least remembered and brought me a small cake and we shared it over some scotch. 

“Can I get you something?” the waiter interrupted my musing. 

“A bottle of Dom Perignon,” Pepper said instantly not looking up from her phone. “And whatever the chef recommends.”

I loved Pepper’s way of ordering. She had such a no nonsense attitude. Everywhere she took us for lunch was fancy and upmarket. Places that were beyond my government salary, even the generous one SHIELD paid, to eat on a regular basis. I felt like I’d put on 10 pounds since I’d been here. 2 or 3 course lunches, plus all the crap Coulson and I ate for dinner and my lack of working out made me feel fat. My usual size 4 clothes were all starting to feel a little snug as well. Though putting on weight wasn’t the end of the world. 

“A bottle of champagne with lunch?” I questioned Pepper with a small grin.

“Its Friday,” Pepper finally tore her eyes away from her phone. “And Tony is driving me insane, so champagne at lunch is a must.”

“So thats your secret, drink your way through the job,” I took a long drink of coffee. My caffeine habit was getting a little crazy, even for a SHIELD agent. I’d drained the cup in nearly one go. 

“There are days where it's the only thing that keeps me sane,” Pepper put her phone on the table with a long sigh. “And its one of those days. I’m beating off every magazine, newspaper and anyone with any type of media connection right now. They just wont take no for an answer.”

“You should give them something else to focus on instead of just saying no,” I suggested. Coulson phone in front of me pinged as another barrage of emails came through. He was in a meeting and I had his phone to play secretary with. The emails weren’t anything important. They could wait until after lunch. 

“Like what?” Pepper gave me a calculating look. It was usually the other way around. She was the one telling me how to manage things.

“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “How about something like getting them to run pieces of the things you do at SI? The intern program or something.”

“And you tell yourself you suck at this type of job,” Pepper’s face lit up. “How about I send them your details and they can do an article on powerful women.”

“Yeah wouldn’t SHIELD love that,” I said sarcastically. Before Pepper would reply the waiter brought over the bread basket and bottle of champagne. I instantly grabbed a bread roll and smothered it with a thick layer of butter. Pepper waited until the waiter left before speaking.

“You know they actually might,” Pepper gave me a mischievous grin. “Maybe I should suggest it to Phil, you have the body to be a model.”

“Again, no way,” I laughed shortly. Pepper had said that to me a few times over the last 2 weeks. I couldn’t think of anything worse. I’d rather have been stuck with STRIKE Team Alpha than be a model. I was barely handling all the media attention here. I wasn’t even involved with it.

“I thought you might change your mind if I keep pestering you about it,” Pepper tried with a non apologetic shrug. “But I do like your idea. Deflect with something more positive. God knows after Tony pulled the weapons manufacturing from SI we could do with some good PR.”

My personal phone started ringing just as Pepper finished speaking. I frowned at the incoming name on the screen. Jared was calling via FaceTime. I didn’t know whether this would be a good or bad thing. 

“Thats my brother,” I apologised quickly. “Sorry, I better take this.”

I pushed myself away from the table and answered the call as I started to walk away. Jared’s face came onto the screen. Along with the sound of thumping bass very close to him.

“What?” I frowned at the screen. Jared grinned at me and a second later Natasha pushed herself into the frame as well. My frown quickly turned into a smile. It was very good to see them both. Natasha quickly pulled the phone from Jared and planted a kiss on the screen. She then handed it back and disappeared from view.

“We missed you!” Jared slurred. “Did you hear about Stark? We just got back into service.”

“And the first thing you do is go clubbing,” I shook my head. “Having a good time? Where are you by the way?”

“Paris,” the phone wobbled as Jared staggered. He snickered quietly. “Thought it’d be fun. Want anything while I’m here? Hang on, where are you?”

Jared squinted at the phone as he held it closer to his face. 

“In Malibu,” I laughed at the extreme close up I was getting of my twins face. “With Coulson, dealing with the Stark bullshit.”

I’d made it outside the restaurant now. It was a really nice place, we’d been here once already. It was right on the water’s edge in the definitely more upmarket side of Malibu. It was hot today, the sun beat down with unnecessary strength. But the slight breeze off the ocean kept things pleasant as long as you didn’t stay outside for too long. 

“Umm, how the fuck did you get cleared for being in the field so quick?” Jared looked like he’d sobered up considerably at my last statement. 

“I didn’t,” I said simply. “I just got bored and wanted something to do. So I asked to fly Coulson here. Now I’m playing PA to him while he untangles this mess.”

“You playing PA,” Jared actually giggled at that. He was so immature. He couldn’t hold up looking sober any longer. Jared looked drunker than I’d ever seen him in a long time.

“Fuck you,” I tried hard not to smile, but it made its way onto my face anyway. “Why are you guys in Paris getting smashed?”

“Following a trail of breadcrumbs,” Jared smirked at me. “Tell you about it later.”

Why did I get the funny feeling Jared being this drunk was all part of bigger plan. He and Natasha were both experts at manipulation. Being drunk made it easy to make people glance over you without a second thought. Or so Natasha told me. 

“When will you be home?” I asked. I wasn’t going to bother pressing him for information that I already knew I wasn’t going to get.

“Soon I hope,” Jared’s face softened, even in his drunken state. “We really do miss you. But this should be wrapped up soon.”

“Me too, hopefully,” I glanced back into the restaurant. I’d forgotten to grab Coulson’s phone before I came out, so I really needed to get back to the table. “I’ve got to go, I’m on a lunch date with Stark’s assistant. Talk to you soon?”

“You will,” Jared reached up and gave the camera a kiss. I pulled a small face of disgust. “Behave.”

He was gone before I could make a sassy comment back. I was disappointed I didn’t get to see more than the brief flash of Natasha. Clint was nowhere to be seen. Despite being constantly surrounded by people, I’d never felt more lonely in my life than I did right now. Pepper was about the only thing keeping me sane. I’d gotten so used to the comfortable little bubble of my friends and Riley, I’d forgotten what being lonely felt like. Before I tolerated it. Now I absolutely despised it. I sighed and looked at my new phone sadly. I didn’t have my laptop here to back up put any of my old photos on it. Right now it was still in its factory settings with only my contacts in it. I felt tears prickle my eyes unexpectedly as I stared at the now black screen. I hastily pushed the sadness back into the corner of my mind where I could ignore it. Tucked away in that little corner of my mind, it couldn’t hurt me back there.

I walked back into the restaurant and slid into the chair. A bowl of clam chowder was already waiting for me. Little wisps of steam coming off it still meant I hadn’t been gone for too long. Pepper was already eating hers.

“Sorry,” I apologised as I arranged myself in the chair. “My brother was drunk and apparently he missed me.”

“Is that him or the alcohol talking?” Pepper joked.

“The vodka probably,” I smiled with a small laugh. “He thinks he’ll be finished soon.”

I’d told Pepper about Jared being SHIELD within the first day of working with her. Though my explanation about the different jobs in SHIELD had been vague, Pepper hadn’t pressed for details.

“Maybe you will too,” Pepper flashed a confident smile. “Though, I’m going to miss our lunch dates when you go back to DC.”

“Me too,” I retuned the smile. Pepper had been amazing to me. Thrown together in the weirdest circumstances, we’d become what I’d hoped we could call friends. It seemed to be a bit of a trend in my life. “I will be happy to be back to my normal job though. I don’t think I’m cut out for this PA work.”

“You’re doing better than some of the people I’ve seen come through work,” Pepper reassured me, probably for the 100th time during the last 2 weeks. “Besides, no one else saved me from that reporter with such quick thinking.”

“When you have a brother like mine you learn to think quick on your feet,” I said. I took a sip of my clam chowder. It was the best chowder I’d ever had in my life. The perfect balance of creaminess and perfectly cooked potato and clams. I wanted to lick the bowl clean. I was so damn hungry at the moment. No matter what I ate, I was always hungry an hour later. It was a far change from barely touching anything a few weeks ago. My appetite had come back with a vengeance. Just as I took my 4th spoonful Coulson’s phone rang.

“Agent Coulson’s phone, this is Agent Lyngley,” I snatched it up and answered without looking at the screen.

“Agent Lyngley, this is Agent Lyngley,” Mom sounded very amused by her own little joke. I cracked a quick laugh at it too. “Where’s Phil?”

“In a meeting,” I kept eating now I knew it wasn’t anyone important. Well, not anyone who would care about me eating while on the phone. Mom would just be happy I was eating. “Sup?”

Pepper tilted her head to the left slightly, looking curious at my casual tone. 

“It’s my Mom,” I mouthed in a quiet whisper to Pepper. She nodded in understanding. It was rare for either of us to get more than a few minutes off the phone.

“Nothing really, I was ringing to see how the circus is going down there,” Mom said casually. “What are you up to?”

“Having lunch with Pepper, baby sitting Coulson’s phone. Same shit, different day,” I shrugged. 

“Language,” Mom scolded. 

“Skít,” I corrected in Icelandic fighting back a laugh.

“Still language,” Mom sounded suspiciously like she just held back a snort of laughter. “I’ll let you get back to lunch. Can you get Coulson to ring me back later please?”

“Sure, are you going to yell at him some more?” I couldn’t stop myself from smirking. Coulson told me all about how angry Mom had been when she found out I’d come along to this. She hadn’t held back her wrath at all. Coulson told me he’d copped a 40 minute lecture and Mom threatened she’d ground him if he wasn’t already on assignment. Mom was a level 8, so she had to pull to do it as well. If not, a few whispers in the right ear and it’d happen. Poor Coulson. At least I wasn’t in too much trouble, for once. 

“Quite possibly,” Mom laughed this time. “But he’s doing wonders down there so I might just let him off the hook for today. Don’t forget please.”

“I’m putting the reminder in my phone as we speak,” I lied. I was shovelling the last of the chowder into my mouth instead. Pepper quietly covered her own laugh.

“You’re still a terrible liar,” Mom chuckled. “I’ll ring you later too. Bye.”

“Bye Mom,” I hung up before I got into trouble.

“Your Mom works for SHIELD?” Pepper asked as I threw the phone back down on the table.

“Yeah she’s head of HR,” I smiled while shaking my head down at the phone. “Dad runs R&D. They’re both in New York though, not DC.”

It must have slipped my mind to tell Pepper about my parents. Not that we had a lot of time to just sit back and girl talk. Most of our discussions were focused around her pain in the ass boss. 

“It sounds like Tony and your Dad would get along,” Pepper push her bowl to the side slightly. For someone as slender as she was, she certainly ate a lot. “Is he a crazy workaholic too?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe,” I broke off a piece of bread and used it to mop the last of my chowder up. It took a few seconds for me to chew and swallow it. “It wasn’t unheard of for him to be sneaking in at home at 3am after he got carried away with something. When I was in high school he used to bribe me if I caught him and Mom didn’t just so he wouldn't get into trouble.”

“And you being the perfect angel never took these bribes did you?” Pepper’s eyes were glinting with mischief.

“Of course not,” I smiled sweetly. “No, I didn’t enjoy them at all.”

Dad’s bribes were usually something I’d been eyeing off. Or he’d just throw some money at me to keep my mouth shut. 

“You evil child,” Pepper giggled. “But, I’ve used bribery on Tony so many times to get him out of the workshop. Whatever works.”

Pepper’s phone vibrated on the table and she glanced at it briefly. Sighing in annoyance she picked it up and started to tap her fingers on the keyboard. I took a long drink of my champagne while she was busy. It was a really nice champagne. I’d drained my glass and poured myself another one while Pepper finished replying to the email. Just as she finished, Coulson’s phone rang again. This time I actually checked the caller ID. It was Rumlow, much to my surprise.

“What did you break?” I answered the call. 

“Fuck you, I didn’t break anything just yet,” Rumlow laughed in my ear. “I’m guessing Coulson is busy?”

“Yeah he’s in a meeting,” I grinned at the quietly laughing Pepper. At least neither of us took offence to the fact we practically lived on our phones. “Can I help you with whatever you needed?”

“Only if you promise not to laugh,” there was some rustling on the other end of the phone. Though the warning in Rumlow’s tone was clear enough to me. He actually sounded minutely embarrassed by what he was about to ask.

“I won’t laugh,” I promised him. It was nice to speak to someone who I actually knew for once. I’d taken plenty of calls from a lot of people who I knew of but never had to deal with over the last 2 weeks. Rumlow was a nice change of pace. 

“I need to do some new uniform requests and I’ve run out of hard copies, where on the computer is it again?” Rumour asked. 

“Under U for uniform?” I suggested unhelpfully with a shrug of my shoulders. “Why don’t you just search your computer files for it?”

The silence stretched on a lot longer than normal. I bit my lip trying not to laugh as Rumlow processed that in his head. I’d forgotten how useless he was with anything to do with technology. I’m pretty sure he still had an original Nokia phone that was more like a brick than a cell phone.

“Open where all your files are,” I quickly started so Rumlow didn’t get too huffy about this. Or even more embarrassed than he actually was. “There’s a search bar in the top right hand corner, has like a magnifying glass in the corner? Just type in whatever the document name is.”

“Lifesaver,” Rumlow chuckled in obvious relief. There was a brief pause as I could hear him very slowly typing on the keyboard. “When are you coming back?”

I shrugged, then realised Rumlow couldn’t see me on the other end of the phone.

“No idea, when we’re finished I suppose,” I said. I was briefly distracted by the waiter bringing out our main course. I had some sort of chicken with a creamy sauce on a bed of mashed potatoes. It looked and smelt divine. I could feel my mouth start to water just looking at it. 

“Well, when you get back we’re going out for drinks,” Rumlow said firmly. There was no room in his voice for me to argue. Not that I was really in the mood to argue with him. It took too much energy. 

“Your shout then,” I picked up my fork and poked the chicken. It was so well cooked it nearly pulled away at the gentle touch. “I’m at lunch and starving so I’ll talk to you later.”

“I’ve heard about your drinking, I’ll definitely shout because you’re a cheap drunk,” Rumlow teased. “Talk later. Come back soon, the other pilots suck.”

“Despite what you think Rumlow, I am not STRIKE’s personal taxi service,” I grumbled at him in good humour. “Bye Brock.”

I hung up before Rumlow could reply. This chicken just couldn’t wait any longer. I wasn’t disappointed when I cut off a small piece and raised it to my lips. It tasted as good as it smelt. As soon as I got two bites into my chicken, Coulson’s phone rang. Again. I was tempting to chuck it under the table. Or out into the ocean. The sad thing was, this was actually very normal for Coulson’s phone. This call I really couldn’t ignore though. It was Hill.

“Coulson’s phone,” I answered the call wearily. If Hill was calling, something was definitely happening.

“Coulson still in his meeting?” Hill asked briskly.

“Yep,” the few times I’d spoken with Hill over the last 2 weeks had been interesting. I liked her no bullshit manner. She called, asked what she needed and that was it. I gave her short and to the point answers in return. 

“We need him back in DC,” Hill’s words made me drop my fork in surprise. “A Quinjet will be there in 3 hours with your relief.”

3 hours. I quickly checked the time on my watch. It’d been a cheap thing I picked up when I did my quick clothes shop. The dainty silver watch looked a lot better than the usual chunky sports watches I preferred to wear. It was 1311. Coulson’s meeting finished at 1430 so we had plenty of time to pack the little stuff we had and get to Edwards. I tried not to let my disappointment show. Whatever Coulson was getting called back for would probably mean I’d end up sitting back on the couch with nothing to do. Not that I minded the idea of a sleep in. But I didn’t need the spare time with just my thoughts for company again.

“Understood, did you need Coulson to ring you back?” I looked longingly at the chicken, desperate to get back to it. My eyes briefly flicked back up to Pepper who was enjoying her own dish, which looked like salmon. I was going to miss her as well. 

“No I’ll talk to him when he gets back,” Hill paused for a second. “Its nothing serious. Jared, Barton and Romanoff are fine. I’ll send a text confirming landing time”

That thought hadn’t even crossed my mind. If something had gone wrong with one of them Hill would definitely be more panicked. She’d be demanding to speak to Coulson right now if that was the case. I didn’t get a chance to thank her for saying it though. She’d hung up as soon as she finished speaking. I pulled the phone away from my ear and looked at the now black screen a little sadly. Despite being so busy, I really had been enjoying myself here in Malibu. 

“I’m going home in a few hours,” I pulled my eyes away from the screen and looked at Pepper. Her face fell a little at my news. It was something we’d both been expecting any day now. But to actually have it happen was disappointing. I was going to be so lost when I got home.

“Well,” Pepper picked up the bottle of champagne. “We better make the most of our last lunch together. I say we get another bottle of this and enjoy it.”

I brightened at her idea. I doubted I’d be allowed to fly after one glass of champagne. May as well have another bottle between us so I sleep all the way back to DC. That way no one had to deal with my panic attack about not being the one in control. I don’t think I was ever going to get out of that habit.

“Since your boss is paying, I’m in for that,” I held out my glass for a refill. Pepper filled both our glasses and then raised hers.

“To the crazy that seems to follow us around,” Pepper smiled.

“And the amazing women we are for putting up with it,” I smiled back clinking my glass against hers. I was really going to miss our girl time together. Pepper threw her glass back with no class at all. I grinned to myself and did the same. 

3 bottles of champagne and dessert later, Pepper and I hugged and said a slightly tearful farewell. She slid into her car with Happy, Tony’s head of security, and I into the SHIELD car with Coulson already in it. As I climbed into the backseat I threw his phone back at him. After too much champagne my sliding in was less than graceful. I didn’t miss the raised eyebrow being thrown in my direction at my lack of coordination. 

“Apparently we’re needed back in DC,” I sank back into the seat. I could happily fall asleep right here and now. The champagne was just topping off me already being exhausted. 

“I know,” Coulson turned in the chair to look back at me. “I’ve already got our bags packed and we’re headed straight to Edwards to fly out.”

I grunted and closed my eyes, leaning back into the leather seat. It was cool against my slightly sweaty skin. I was enjoying it while it stayed that way before my body heat made my legs stick to it. The noise of skin detaching itself from warm leather was worse than nails on a chalkboard. 

“Enjoy lunch a little too much did we Kari?” Coulson’s voice was pure sass. 

I cracked open an eye to stare at him. He was still looking at me, one of his trademark smirks on his face. I thought I was going to be in trouble. Quite the opposite by the look on Coulson’s face. He actually looked pleased that I was doing something a little more like my normal self.

“3 bottles of Dom whatever it was,” I smiled and closed my eye again. It had been amazingly good champagne. “Shame you missed it. Mom called, promised she wouldn’t yell at you when you call back. I taught Rumlow how to use the search feature on his computer.”

“Thanks,” Coulson’s chuckle reached my ears. “Was this your way of coping with flying home?”

“Yep,” I didn’t bother to smother my yawn. “Wake me up when we’re home.”

Falling asleep in the car was becoming pretty routine for me. I used to tease Clint about it all the time. He could fall asleep anywhere within a minute. I was getting to do the exact same thing over the last 2 weeks. If there was 5 minutes spare, I was having a nap. In the car, on the floor, on the desk, I didn’t really care where it was. I only woke up long enough to fall into the Quinjet and went straight back to sleep. It wasn’t until Coulson shook me awake when we landed back the Triskelion, I woke up properly.

My stomach protested at the sudden movement. I swallowed down the bile that quickly rose in my throat. Gross. I really shouldn’t have drunk so much, so quickly. It was only mid morning here. The hanger was bustling with its usual activity as we walked out. Coulson handed me the suitcase I’d acquired during our stay in Malibu. 

“I’m going to drop you home,” Coulson looked tired himself. “Then I have to be back here and heading off again. Before you ask, I can’t take you this time.”

My face fell at the sudden piece of news. I shouldn’t have been surprised, or even upset over it. But I was. The little bubble I’d built up to keep my sadness away suddenly burst. Spending the last 2 weeks at work had been the best thing for me, in my mind, to keep me busy. After all this time of being insanely busy, I was essentially back to sitting on the couch by myself. Laura wasn’t around either, she had a work conference in San Francisco and wouldn’t be back until next week. So the kids had gone to stay with her parents in Kentucky while she was away.

“Okay,” I did my best to give Coulson a reassuring smile. “I’m sure I’ll do nothing but sleep anyway.”

“I did try,” Coulson wasn’t fooled by my words, or smile. He looked like there was a lot more he wanted to say on the matter. Coulson had broken some pretty big rules by letting me go along with him. When everything went to shit, he’d been in even more trouble for me being there. But at the end of the day, I was already there and helping. I was better off there and being busy, even if I wasn’t meant to be at work, than sitting at home unsupervised. 

“I know,” my smile wavered on my face. “Its fine Coulson, I’m too tired to care to be honest. Just take me home so I can crash.”

The bile rose in my stomach again. I hastily swallowed to keep it firmly where it was meant to be. The hanger was incredibly busy. I didn’t need to be throwing up in front of everyone here. I was such a lightweight drinker. Pepper barely looked effected when she’d gotten into her car. If anything she looked fresh and ready to take on whatever was being thrown at her in the afternoon. Sluggishly, I followed Coulson out to where Lola was still parked. The car ride back to Jared’s apartment was silent. True to my word, I really was too tired for much. I was dead on my feet and way too nauseous to think about anything but bed. It took every ounce of remaining energy to drag myself to the elevator and into the apartment. I stripped off as I went, pulled on a pair of boxers and singlet then collapsed into my bed, falling asleep nearly instantly. 

Story of my life lately. Eat, work and sleep. 

I woke up just after 0100 with a pounding headache and the sudden urge to vomit. Bolting upright, I barely made it out of bed without falling over. My legs didn’t want to work as I stumbled to the bathroom. I fell to my knees in front of the toilet and threw everything up. My stomach clenched painfully as I retched the $250 lunch up. It took a few minutes before my stomach was finally empty enough to settle down. I reached up and flushed without pulling my head up from the seat. The cool of the toilet seat felt wonderful against my hot skin. 

I was never drinking champagne again. Ever. It was now on the banned list along with tequila. Stupid bubbles. 

After my stomach was empty I dragged myself upright. I was in desperate need of water and aspirin. Stumbling my way through the dark apartment I found both in the kitchen, without turning any lights on. My head felt like it was going to fall off. I wasn’t keen to turn the light on to make it worse. After near drowning myself by guzzling down as much water as I could stomach, I threw back a few aspirin and collapsed on the couch. 

The apartment was stifling hot. If I wasn’t feeling so terrible I’d get up and turn the air con on. But I just lay on the couch sweating, letting my head pound and stomach clench uncomfortably again. I really hadn't felt that drunk after lunch. Not to be feeling this sick.

Laying there in the dark I had nothing to do. No phone was ringing. No emails needed to be answered right now. No Tony Stark making ridiculous claims in a press release that needed to be buried. There’s nothing but me with the sound of my breathing to keep me company. It was a very odd feeling. There was no chance of me going back to sleep. The longer I lay here, the more I woke up. There was no chance of me getting back to sleep now. I’d slept for way too long throughout the day. 

The empty ache of loneliness wormed its way back into my body as I lay there. I sighed heavily into the dark as it just got worse and worse. I missed Clint, Natasha and Jared terribly. What was worse, for the first time in weeks I allowed myself a moment of pity. One I’d been struggling to hold back for what felt like an eternity. I missed Riley. So badly. I thought I’d buried this grief well enough not to cry anymore. But the tears fell without me realising, or being able to stop them. The sobs followed a second later.

Why did it still hurt so much? It hurt as much as the day it happened. 

I curled into a ball, pulling a cushion to my chest as I sobbed. This time there was no one to comfort me. No Natasha to stroke my hair. No Jared just to hold me until the tears dried up. Clint wasn’t here to distract me from my tears. It was just me. It was a horrible feeling. The ache just grew and grew until I felt like I couldn’t breath any longer. Ignoring my pounding head, I threw myself off the couch and my feet carried me to the door. I needed air. I just needed to escape the confines of the 4 walls that felt like they were closing in on me. I didn’t bother with the elevator, I went straight for the emergency stairs and onto the roof. The early morning air hit me in the face like a slap. But I greedily sucked it down, feeling like a drowning person gasping for air. My bare feet were cold on the concrete, but it gave me a grounding. I stood up on the open space, feeling the wind against my face. It was cool now. Unlike the muggy weather that I’d come home to. I wrapped my arms around myself, walking right to the ledge. I didn’t hesitate to lift myself up and sit on the small barrier. It wasn’t high, only about thigh height on me. 

The nights in DC were just like New York. Always busy. The lights blocked out most of the stars in the sky. Traffic milled around no matter what time of the day or night it was. I was just another person lost in the sea of half a million people. 

Tears were still coming as I looked out over the city. I just felt so utterly empty right now. Whatever had been holding me together for the last few weeks had finally come undone. Here I was thinking I was fine, I could hold it all together. But all it took was letting myself think of Riley’s name and it all fell apart. I told Coulson I was fine. Right now I really wasn’t. But I didn’t want to ring anyone and talk either. I felt like I’d been nothing but a burden on everyone lately. 

I’d been so used to being alone. I was too quiet and always over shadowed by Jared when we went to school together. During high school I was too shy and unsure of myself to ever make any real friends. I hung around the crowd during my Air Force career, always on the edges but never really involved enough to get to know people. It’d been lonely and I was fine with it because it was all I’d ever known. Now I had friends. I had a group of people I considered to be family,. I was even stupid enough to be swept along on the amazing romance I never thought I’d have. And it was all gone in the blink of an eye. How could I be so stupid to think that I’d get a happy ending? Being loved so deeply only brought me pain. A never ending ache that soaked right through to my bones.

Nothing would change for me, even as a level 6 agent now. Natasha and Clint would still go away without me. I’d always be left behind. I’d never be able to ever catch up with them. I’d always be the dead weight holding them back. If it wasn’t for me, they wouldn’t have always been stuck on such shitty missions to hold my hand. Neither of them would have had to go with all the shit that happened after Riley died. They’d been a team for years without all the problems that I kept bringing. The thought of Riley’s name again made the tears come harder.

Balancing on the narrow edging, I pulled my knees to my chest and hugged myself. The wind picked up again, knocking me slightly off balance for precarious second. My heart jumped in my throat before settling back down. The spike of adrenaline felt good. It cut through the pain. Like putting a burn under cold water. My body reacted before my brain caught up. I was standing on the ledge looking 5 stories down. I’d never been scared of heights. I was always sure of my balance. Even now,I knew I wouldn’t fall. Unless I wanted to.

How easy would it be. Just to take a step forward and within seconds terminal velocity would kick in. All over. It was like I’d always would imagine being shot down in a jet would feel like. A second of knowing you were going to die. Then nothing, but whatever happened to us when we died. It was a very easy way out of getting rid of the never ending emotional ache that wouldn’t leave me alone. Just one step forward and that was it.

Another gust of wind hit me from behind. This time my balance faltered. I tipped forward ever so slightly. Enough to make my stomach drop. I thought I was going to go over the edge for real. The thought of actually falling absolutely terrified me all of a sudden. I shot backwards faster than I’d ever moved in my life. In my haste, I tripped over my own feet and ended up on my ass. Sitting there sprawled on the cold concrete I couldn’t stop my heat pounding. The scare was enough to stop my tears. 

What was I doing? I didn’t want to die. No matter how awful I felt, I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t throw myself off my apartment building. I raised my hand to wipe my face. My hand was shaking badly, whether it was from the fright or lingering adrenaline, either was a good guess. A thin layer of ice covered my hand. Glancing down, there was an inch of ice where my hand had just been. 

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. In and out. That’s all I needed to focus on right now. Taking a deep breath in, then blow it out. I could cope with this. I’d been handling myself the last few weeks just fine. I could bury all of this. All of these feelings could be locked in a box in the corner of my mind and not come out again. I just needed to stay at work and keep busy. That was the best plan and it was working so far. 

I lent back on my hands, tipping my face to the sky as I kept breathing evenly. The breeze was fast getting cold against my sweaty skin. I could feel goosebumps raising on the bare patches. I opened my eyes again as I let out another breath. The air in front of me misted, showing I still wasn’t in complete control of my powers. I could feel the ice on the ground slowly melting into a puddle. My head was still pounding from the headache of before. I felt like I wanted to vomit again. My stomach was clenching uncomfortably, bile rising in my throat once again. 

Suddenly a body appeared in front of me. I blinked as Jared came into focus, crouching down in front of me. 

“What are you doing?” Jared’s voice came out as a hoarse whisper. He fell and sprawled on the ground, just a hair width from me. Even in the darkness, I could see his eyes wide and looking far too bright. He looked just as frightened as I felt a few moments ago.

“I couldn’t breath,” my own whisper came out weakly as I looked down in my lap. “I just…”

The silence between us was incredibly uncomfortable. I’d always been able to speak to Jared. But right now words were sticking in my throat. The thoughts from before were a very slippery slope I’d put my foot on. There was no hiding from this. 

“You just what Kari?” Jared prompted. His voiced sounded very choked up. I was so ashamed I couldn’t lift my head. I shook my head, not finding the words to finish what I wanted to say. There wasn’t anything I really could say to make this sound any better. It was a pretty clear picture of what I’d been thinking up here. Jared knew it, he didn’t have to ask me. 

“I miss him so much,” I whispered. Tears started to run down my face again. “I feel so alone.”

Jared pulled me into a hug. I buried my face into his shoulder, trying to hold back the horrible sobs from escaping. It didn’t work. The sobs were just like my tears. They came out whether I wanted them to or not. Jared rubbed my back as I cried into his expensive looking silk shirt. He smelt like cigarette smoke, sweat and the lingering smell of a woman perfume. God knows what he’d just been doing.

“You’re not alone,” Jared murmured into my hair. “You’re never alone. I’m always here for you, no matter what.”

He rocked me gently I sat there crying. I hated this. It’d be so much easier if I could just erase everything about Riley from my mind. I didn’t want to this pain. It was just too much. I just wanted to be able to move on in my life and not have to deal with this. I didn’t want to be broken. I just wanted my life back.

“You do have your life, it’s still here” Jared said quietly. His arms tightened around me. “This is just a stumbling block. You always pull yourself back up. No matter how shitty everything gets you’re strong, capable and amazing. Cuz, you know, you’re the female version of me.”

The small, strangled laugh that slipped out was like a breath of fresh air. Only Jared could make me laugh when I was feeling like this. Even though I couldn’t see his face, I could feel the smile he’d give himself for making me laugh. 

“You’ve got this,” Jared rocked me in our awkward embrace. “You don’t need to be doing anything stupid just because things get a little rough from time to time. You call me if you ever feel like that again, you hear me?”

I nodded, the change in Jared’s tone was pretty clear that he wasn’t fucking around. 

“No matter what I’m doing, I will always drop everything to be here with you Kari,” Jared’s grip tightened again, almost to the point of bruising. “Don’t you ever let yourself feel like there’s nothing else for you. I know Riley’s gone, but we all loved him too. You’ve still got me and Tasha and Barton, Laura and the kids. We’re all still here. No matter what, I will never leave you.”

There was nothing I could say to that. I clung onto Jared like my life depended on it. My life really did depend on it right now. Jared being here was the only thing holding me together right now. 

“Let me call in that I won’t be back,” Jared said quietly, pushing a few loose strands of hair out of my face. “And we’ll go inside, I’m going to pull out that bottle of 21 year old whiskey that I got for our birthday. What do you say to some pasta from Italy?”

Bribery was perfectly acceptable in my eyes to get me feeling better. Food worked. Expensive scotch worked even better. My stomach had settled down

“How about pizza from Rizzo’s?” I pulled my face away from Jared’s shoulder. The suggestion brought a small smile onto his face. Rizzo’s was our favourite pizza place in New York. It was even better because it was open 24/7.

“Done, lets get you inside.”


	41. Chapter 41

Left, right, left right. The solid thwack of my fists hitting the punching bag was extremely soothing. Being back at the gym at the Triskelion felt strange. Being surrounded by the people I know. There’d been more than a few surprised faces as I walked into the STRIKE locker room this morning. After a weekend of drinking with Jared, our belated birthday drinks as we called it, there’d been a lot of talking. A lot more tears as well. Jared was very insistent that right now, throwing myself back into work was the best thing for me. Clint and Natasha would be back tonight. Life was slowly turning back to being normal even if I wasn’t feeling normal. So here I was, 0745, and at the gym. It was the most normal thing I’d done in what felt like forever. The only thing missing was Clint and Natasha. Jared promised to come by the gym and spar after I worked out. I was meant to have a session with Andrew, but I got an email this morning postponing it. 

By the time he got here, I doubt I’d have the energy to kick Jared’s ass. My arms were aching and it was only 5 minutes in. I was so unfit. Jumping on the scales this morning put me at 123lbs. So much for thinking I’d put on 10 pounds while I was in Malibu. The only thing I’d lost was muscle and fitness. But at least my will to keep going was back. I’d scared myself enough on the roof that I just wanted to get bak to work and move on with my life. Just like Riley wanted. 

“Whoa there slugger,” Rumlow’s face appeared from the other side of the punching bag. The bag immediately stopped swinging, breaking my rhythm. “Who taught you to punch like that? You’ll break your fucking hand.”

“Hello to you too Rumlow,” I stepped back from the bag, breathing hard. “There’s nothing wrong with my punching.”

“Get your ass in the ring,” Rumlow scoffed at me playfully. “There’s plenty wrong with your punching. Lets fix this up before Romanoff catches you doing that.”

I was going to die. Rumlow was going to kick my ass and then Jared would do the same. Still, there was a feeling I hadn’t felt in a while. Excitement and adrenaline. The feeling I used to get every morning sparring with Clint and Natasha. Another step in the right direction to get my life back on track. Just having some emotions back in my life that wasn’t sadness or grief was a good start. I’d cried a lifetime worth of tears over these last few weeks. I really didn't want to cry anymore.

Walking over to the sparring mats, I rolled my neck while stretching my arms. Rumlow had already kicked his shoes off and was casually stretching while waiting for me. I hadn’t noticed the crowd gathering in the gym while I was using the punching bag. But now it looked like half of the STRIKE teams were in here. I could feel a lot of eyes landing on me as I kicked off my own shoes and stood on the mats with Rumlow. 

“So what am I doing wrong smartass?” I fought to keep the smile off my face. It was good to see him. Actually it was good to see everyone.

“Nothing,” Rumlow shot me a quick grin. A second later his fist came flying at my face. He was so quick I only just managed to block it. The following up left hook I didn’t manage to block. The solid punch landed flush on my jaw. It wasn’t hard but the force was enough to send me staggering backwards a few steps. 

“Fucker,” I grimaced. I wasn’t expecting that at all. But my blood was pumping and I was ready to throw back whatever I could at him. I was faster. My grimace quickly turned into a smirk as I came forward, I feinted a right jab that could be seen from a mile away. Rumlow dodged it easily.

“Getting slow there Kari,” he teased moving around me. I circled around him, watching him carefully for the next move. He didn’t disappoint. He came straight at me with a few hard punches. I was barely managing to block them. The last punch landed in my side, sending the breath right out of me. 

“Ow,” I forced myself not to double over to clutch at the offending area. I’d gotten soft in my inactivity. A blow like that would barely make me flinch a few weeks ago. In a flash of anger I lashed out without thinking of my move. Quick as anything Rumlow grabbed my arm and threw me onto my back. Instead of pushing me to yield, he backed off and let me get back to my feet.

“Kick his ass Kari!” Jared’s voice called out. I snuck a glance up to see a crowd gathered around us. A rather large crowd. Great, I was getting an audience with my ass kicking. I saw Jared standing there looking very pleased at this mornings entertainment. I quickly snapped my attention back to Rumlow so he didn’t land me on my ass again in my inattention.

“Come on Princess,” Rumlow taunted. He was keeping back a few paces, an infuriating smirk on his face. 

“Bring it,” it took me longer than it should to become fully upright. Rumlow could pack a wallop even if he didn’t hit full force. I was going to hurt tomorrow. But right now I refused to embarrass myself in front of half the STRIKE force. If I lost to Rumlow now, Natasha would never let me live this down. I don’t think I’d ever let myself live it down either. 

Rumlow didn’t wait for me. He came at me fast and at brutal strength. His only weakness was he left his lower body wide open. Every single time. Blocking his punches with my right arm, I sent a vicious and full force blow straight to his solar plexus. It was satirising to feel the whoosh of breath and grunt come from Rumlow as my fist connected. Not wanting to press my advantage, I backed off, ready for his next move. 

“Didn’t even feel it,” Rumlow taunted me again. He didn’t give me a chance to reply, and came at me again with a flurry of quick punches. Goddammit he was fast with his upper body. He was only an inch taller than me, so I couldn’t exactly duck out of his reach either. I missed blocking another punch and got a solid hit right in my ribs, instantly dropping me to the ground again. Ow, fuck. That one really hurt. It took me a few seconds to actually regain my breath. This time Rumlow didn’t give me a chance to get back to my feet. His leg swung towards me in a determined kick.

It was too perfect. Rumlow had shit lower body ability. His kick was a little slower than it needed to be. It was too easy for me to hook my leg around the left he was balancing on. With a solid yank behind his ankle, it was like watching a tree fall in slow motion. Rumlow’s arms flailed as he tried to get his balance. But it didn’t do him any good, he fell backwards, landing heavily on his back.

I scrambled to my feet, ignoring the pain in my ribs. I couldn’t pin Rumlow down, but I could make him hurt enough to not want to get back up. I threw myself down onto Rumlow, driving my knee into his stomach. The effect was instant, he groaned and rolled over away from me. The hit wasn’t hard enough to put him out of commission. He was instantly back and had me pinned down, stomach first against the mats. There was no escaping from him. I scowled, angry at myself for getting too cocky. Rumlow was right, I was getting slow.

“Yield?” Rumlow asked.

“I hate you,” I grunted as Rumlow pushed more of his weight onto me. About 200 pounds of muscle pressing down on me was making it hard to breath. I really didn’t want to yield though. Losing to Rumlow was a blow to my ego.

“You still haven’t yielded,” Rumlow taunted me, pushing down even harder.

My left hand was free, so I grabbed the bare skin on his arm digging my nails in hard. For good measure, I pushed my power into my hand, putting a thin layer of ice on his arm. The effect was instant. Rumlow snatched his arm away quickly from my freezing hand. In doing so, he took his weight off me and moved his balance. It was enough for me to get out of his grip and out from underneath him. As I squirmed away, I sent a hard kick at his legs. To my surprise, it was enough to send Rumlow sprawling on his front with an obviously pained groan. Taking my chance, I jumped on his back, putting my knee between his legs for good measure as a warning. Putting all my weight down on him kept his him on the mat, now breathing heavily. 

“Yield?” I pushed my knee up a little higher for good measure. Even if Rumlow didn’t yield right now, I was going to give him a chance to get up. I wasn’t against playing dirty.

“I thought we agreed no kicking in the nuts,” Rumlow’s voice was muffled again the mat. “Fuck you. Yes I yield. Little slippery shit you are.”

I couldn't stop grinning as I climbed off Rumlow’s back. He rolled over onto his side with a wince. I climbed to my feet, offering my hand to help him up.

“One of these days I’m going to kick your ass,” Rumlow took my hand and got to his feet. He was scowling but the corners of his lips were twitching. “Good job.”

“Thanks,” I was breathing a lot heavier than I should be after a soft round of sparring. “Always a pleasure to kick your ass.”

The crowd around us had gotten even bigger. Now the adrenaline of the fight was wearing off, louder as well. Money was being passed around, making me rolls my eyes. If anyone on Bravo team had bet against me, I was going to kick their ass myself. Through the noise, a British female voice cut through. Over the American and male voices, it was very easy to pick in the crowd.

“Of course I bloody put money on your Granddaughter,” the British voice sounded very indignant. “Look at her, she can run circles around that big daft monkey.”

Rumlow visibly flinched next to me. He muttered something under his breath which sounded suspiciously like ‘You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.’

Before I could ask him what he meant, Jared stepped through the crowd and grabbed my arm.

“Come and meet someone,” Jared tugged at my arm excitedly. He didn’t wait for me to follow, he just started walking with me still attached to his hand. I let myself be dragged along, curious to who the voice was now. Through the mass of sweaty, muscly bodies a small circle had formed around a group of people. I could see through the gap enough to see Grams and Mom both standing there.

“Grams!” I pushed past the bodies and launched myself at her. She was the last person I was expecting to see here. Despite being sweaty and probably smelling really gross, Grams pulled me into tight hug.

“Thats my girl kicking ass,” Grams laughed as she squeezed me. “I’m glad we surprised you.”

“The best surprise,” my face felt like it was going to split from my smile.

Grams didn’t often leave the ranch anymore. She didn’t like being in public places with so many people’s thoughts buzzing around. I knew she wouldn’t have come to Riley’s funeral for that exact reason. Funerals were hard enough for Mom being able to feel everyones emotions. Let alone the thoughts Grams would hear. It was just too much for her. But to have her here right now was the best surprise I could have imagined. Especially after such a mentally draining weekend. Grams was first the pull back from the hug. It was only then I actually noticed the other woman standing with them. She looked very familiar but I couldn’t place her face.

“Kari, this is Peggy Carter,” Grams looked over to the mystery woman with a smile. “Peggy, this is my ass kicking granddaughter who I’ve told you so much about.”

My mind instantly went blank. I opened and closed my mouth a few times before I managed to squeak something that vaguely resembled hello. 

Peggy Carter. My childhood hero standing right here in front of me. Grey and slightly bent over with age now she was in her 80’s. But still, standing here looking at me with a gentle and amused smile. The woman I heard so much about when growing up. She was my inspiration to be a strong and capable woman just like she was. 

“That’s the first time I’ve ever seen you speechless Kari,” Mom’s joking made my face turn 3 different shades of red. Grams was no help either. She grinned at me with a knowing look on her face.

“It’s a pleasure to see you after all these years Kari,” Peggy didn’t seem perturbed by my lack of response. She held her hand out for me to shake, which I dumbly took. Even stooped with age, she had a killer grip.

“Why don’t you go and have a shower?” Mom suggested. She wrinkled her nose at the sight of my sweaty body. Besides Peggy, no one else moved to greet me beyond words. “We’re heading up to say hello to Nick.”

It took me a moment to realise they were talking about Director Fury. Not Nick from Bravo team. I was having a really slow day today. Both in my brain and body. I definitely didn’t want to be spending any more time in Fury’s office than I had to. The few times I’d been in there always felt like I was in trouble, even though I wasn’t.

“Sure, I’ll meet you up there,” I smiled. If I procrastinated long enough I wouldn’t actually have to go into Fury’s office. 

“No you won’t,” Grams rolled her eyes. “We’ll come and get you if you're so terrified of your boss.”

“Right,” I grinned sheepishly. I should have tried to keep that thought to myself a bit harder. Next to me Jared snickered. “Going.”

“I’ll kick your ass tomorrow,” Jared gave me a playful punch on the arm as I retreated from the gym. A group had quickly gathered around us, all keen to see Peggy. A few of the older STRIKE guys might have been around when Peggy was still director. Even if they weren’t, it was still very exciting to have one of the founders of SHIELD standing in the gym. I wouldn’t be the only one having a massive fangirl moment. 

I made it out of the gym and nearly all the way back to the locker room without being interrupted. I walked straight into Evans about 3 steps from the door. I don’t know who was more surprised, me or Evans. He did a double take after a snappy sounding apology suddenly realising it was me.

“Hey stranger,” Evans face broke into an easy smile. “Been at the gym?”

“Yeah, kicking Rumlow’s ass,” I smiled back. Smiling felt like it was easy today. 

“Good girl,” Evans chuckled. “Have you got a second?”

“Sure,” I stepped to the side of the corridor so we weren’t blocking it. If this was about what I thought it might be, it wouldn’t be a long conversation. Ever since Coulson had told me about Evans offering me Riley’s position, it’d been a firm no in my mind. 

“I have a big favour and a question,” Evans casually lent against the wall. He looked tired. No doubt thanks to Alexi and her random sleeping habits. Without Riley around to deal with her, Evans had no backup. 

“Shoot, though if it's helping with Alexi not sleeping at 2am you’re out of luck there,” I joked.

“Ugh it's not Alexi,” Evans wiped a hand over his face. “I forgot how damn hungry and the random cravings Abby gets when she's pregnant. She has me driving to random places for food at all hours of the morning.”

I snickered but didn’t have anything else to say about that. I had no idea about women and pregnancies. But it sounded pretty normal. At least the end result would be worth it. Even if Evans didn’t get a good night sleep for the next few years. For his sanity sake I hoped the next child was going to be a better sleeper than Alexi.

“So the favour is that Abby has a scan in a few days,” Evans continued. “We’re flying out on a mission tonight, can you drop around and be there for her scan?”

“Of course,” I didn’t have to think about that one. A small pit of nerves gathered in my stomach with knowing what was coming next. Coulson might have been relieved that I’d say no, but Evans might not take it too well. It was a big responsibility he’d have to take on having me on his team. I wasn’t sure if I was going to offend him by my refusal.

“Did Coulson talk to you about the next thing?” Evans tapped his fingers against the wall absently. He didn’t look nervous, just a little cautious about the next question.

“Yeah he did,” the smile from earlier diminished a little. “I can’t take it Troy. Its too raw still. I can’t say his name without crying. I couldn’t do his job every day.”

“I thought so,” Evans looked disappointed at my quick refusal. “I’ve got a new kid coming from the Academy if you refused. Can you at least break him in for me?”

“I barely feel qualified to be doing the work I do already,” my smile felt like it was becoming more and more strained. “And I have no idea when I’ll get cleared for field work.”

Evans frowned at me before pushing himself off the wall. He held up his finger and grabbed his phone out before I could ask what was wrong. I stood there while he quickly scrolled through his phone, occasionally tapping on the screen. It only took half a minute before he held the screen up to me. It was my SHIELD file. The third line down made me frown. I took the phone off him to make sure I was reading it right.

According to my SHIELD file, I was clear for active duty as of this morning. That couldn’t be right. Someone must have fucked up majorly. I wasn’t going to question it though. It was another step for me to move on. Not to mention a very good distraction and something to keep me busy. Like Jared said, Riley wouldn’t want me to wallow in my grief forever. This was what I needed right now. 

“There you go,” I quickly wiped the look of surprise off my face. For a moment Evans didn’t look convinced. I wouldn’t be surprised to go back later and find the mistake fixed on my file. But for now, he didn’t say anything. 

“I’ve got Rumlow’s marksman this time,” Evans took his phone back. “But the new guy will be here next week.”

“Is that a warning not to let Barton play games with him?” I joked to cover my earlier discomfort.

“Barton and Romanoff are both banned from talking to anyone new,” Evans rolled his eyes. “Recruits tend to get suckered into their games and end up in trouble. I’ll let you get to whatever you’re doing.”

“Having a shower and apparently meeting my childhood idol,” the smile became easier again. “Peggy Carter is here.”

“Is she?” Evans face lit up in childish glee. The tiredness fell away from his face instantly. “I was a new recruit when Director Carter retired. It’ll be good to see her. Where is she?”

“She was in the gym,” I held back my laugh at seeing Evans so excited. “Ring Jared, she’s with Mom and Grams.”

“And your Grams, today is a good day,” Evans barely got the last of the sentence out before he walked away. There was a definite bounce in his step. “Be good.”

I snorted at his last statement. With Natasha and Clint coming home soon, good wasn’t going to be on the cards. After them being away for so long this time, there’d be a big night of drinking to celebrate them coming home. Thats if Laura didn’t chain Clint to their bed first. Still smiling to myself, I went into the locker room and grabbed a change of clothes. Like Grams anticipated I took my time in the shower. By the time I finished there was a text from Jared.

Kill me. Seriously, Fury is gossiping with Carter and Grams like an old woman himself. 

I burst out laughing at the message. It still felt weird to be laughing, but good as well. The mental image of Fury sitting there knitting and drinking tea like an old woman was too much for me. I was still giggling quietly to myself when I got dressed and walked up to Fury’s office. The Triskelion was busy as always. There was a small crowd hanging out the door of Fury’s office. No doubt all keen to get a look at Peggy. Jared was sitting across the hallway in one of the vacant seats, half scowling at the door with his arms crossed. I plonked myself down next to my twin, crossing my arms and mirrored his expression just to annoy him.

“We aren’t identical, don’t do that,” Jared scowled even more. “I can’t believe I got told to sit outside and behave myself like a naughty kid.”

“Well you were the naughty one,” I teased with him a gentle nudge in the ribs. “What the hell are they doing in there?”

“Why don’t you go in and find out for yourself?” Jared eyed me slyly. “Go invisible and snoop. Take some video and we’ll stick it on YouTube.”

“Hell fucking no, I’m not suicidal,” I shook my head rapidly. “I don’t think Fury likes me that much anyway.”

The door opened to his office. Speak of the devil and he appears. Fury walked out just as the last few words left my mouth. Judging by the unamused, deadpanned look being shot in my direction. It was a pretty clear indication he heard me. Only a step behind him was the women of the group. 

“Good morning Sir,” Jared saved me from getting chewed out. 

“Good morning Lyngley,” Fury turned an equally unimpressed look at Jared. “Don’t you have something better to do than sit outside my office?”

“Of course I do, but since Mom told me to sit here and not move, I’m actually doing as I’m told for once,” Jared said smartly.

“Wouldn’t that be a first,” Fury didn’t twitch at Jared’s smartass tone. His own snappy reply was done with a completely blank face. His one good eye boring into Jared as he spoke. 

“Probably the last too,” Jared didn’t miss a beat with his comeback. I covered mouth to hide the smile that I couldn’t stop. My cheeks were actually hurting from the smiling I was doing this morning. Was I really that out of practice with smiling that my muscles hadn’t been used? 

“And Kari,” Fury turned his stare to me. I used every bit of courage I had not to shrink under his gaze. “I hear congratulations are in order. Welcome to SHIELD.”

“Thank you Sir,” I could feel my cheeks going red again. Coming from Fury that was such high praise. I sprung to my feet and took his offered hand to shake. Just behind him, Mom’s eyes looked suspiciously watery. I hope she wasn’t crying because I joined SHIELD. But from her pestering over the years, my bets were on she was proud I was actually here now. I really hoped it was the latter rather than the former. 

“I believe we have brunch reservations,” Mom said as soon as I dropped my hand from Fury’s firm grip. “Good to see you face to face for once Nick.”

I made my escape from the women saying goodbye to Nick by going straight back to Jared’s side. He’d done the smart thing and hung back out of the way. It took forever for them to finally say goodbye and manage to escape from the crowd of people in the front of Fury’s office. Everyone seemed to want to catch a glimpse of Peggy. It didn’t get any better as we all started to walk towards the elevator. It was like having a horde of raging fangirls following us. Jared and I hung back at the edges of the group to avoid all the attention. No one seems to annoy us. Except for a few flirty looks thrown at Jared by some of the younger female agents. For once Jared didn’t attempt to flirt. 

It took until the garage to be finally free of everyone. I don't know how Grams and Peggy managed to do it, all while still smiling. If that was me, I wouldn’t be able to handle the attention. It was a good thing I never wanted to be one in the spotlight.

“Meet you there,” Jared didn’t wait for any of the ladies. He just hooked his arm through mine and led me to his car. 

“My god, you’re driving,” I teased him, sliding into the passenger seat. 

“Shut up,” Jared drew out vowels in his words, sounding like Lila when she was whining about something. “Mom made me. I had no idea they were coming. Answered the door in my boxers half asleep thinking it was you forgetting your keys. And heres Director fucking Carter standing there with Grams. I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life.”

“Are you having a fangirl moment?” I couldn’t help but continuing to tease Jared. 

“A little,” Jared grumbled. There was the faintest scattering of blush creeping up his neck. “I just never wanted to meet the living legend while standing in my shittiest part of boxers.”

“Jared you don’t own a shitty pair of boxers,” I snorted in disbelief. “Aren’t those things Frigo or something like that?”

“You leave my $100 boxers alone,” Jared shot me a small smirk. “You don’t have balls and you have no idea how uncomfortable it is to have them bounce around. You can’t talk anyway. You have like an entire catalogue of Victoria Secret underwear.”

Jared had a very good point there. I couldn’t tease him about expensive underwear. I had plenty of them. At least Jared’s boxers actually had enough fabric to justify the cost. Some of my lace thongs were like little scraps of material that didn’t actually have enough lace on them to justify the cost.

“So, whats with them being here?” I asked Jared. “Grams doesn’t travel out of the blue. Let alone to have her old war buddy rock up with her.”

“Dunno,” Jared shrugged. “They just told me to get dressed and asked where you were. I feel like I’m just here to drive your sorry ass around.”

“Fuck you,” I would have punched Jared if he wasn’t driving. “You’re the spy. Shouldn’t you be able to figure this shit out?”

“I wouldn’t expect you to understand,” Jared gave a dramatic sigh. He glanced over to me with an evil twinkle in his eyes. “After all, you’re only STRIKE. It's not like you do any real work.”

“I’m going to give you the ass whopping of your life tomorrow when you spar with me,” I didn’t rise to his baiting. If I did we’d probably end up in a car crash. Especially with the speed Jared was manoeuvring the sleek sports car at.

“If you fight anything like you did today it’ll be me giving you the ass whopping,” Jared looked a little too pleased with that line of teasing. “Damn Kari, its Rumlow. You can see him coming from a mile away. You cant be that out of practice.”

“Apparently I am,” I flinched at Jared’s words, even though he was teasing. “Nat is going to kill me when she gets back.”

“And I’m looking forward to every single ass kicking she gives you,” the grin on Jared’s face was pure evil. “I may even take videos and put it on YouTube.”

“You’re such an asshole,” I scoffed.

“Got one, not one,” Jared said proudly.

And it was on. We bickered the entire way to where we were going for brunch. It felt good to be annoying Jared. It felt normal. So normal it almost felt out of place with everything that had been going on. But it was good. The rest of the day could go to shit, but the feel of normality was something to hold onto. It was a 50 minute drive so there was plenty of time to annoy the crap out of each other. We pulled into a tree lined driveway with green paddocks on other side. A few fat cows grazing in the warm Spring morning. It was a peaceful setting, not what I was expecting. At the end of the driveway was a huge brick building. The main building seem to stretch on forever across the small acreage.

“Nice place,” Jared whistled as he scanned the surroundings. 

“So, the next question is why are we here?” 

I didn’t get an answer to my question. Mom tapped on the window before Jared could say anything. We both climbed out of the car and fell in behind Grams and Peggy. The two older women were talking animatedly, joking about something Fury said earlier. Mom was tagging behind Jared and I, on the phone to someone in her department at work. Judging by the annoyed scowl on Mom’s face I’m guessing something was going wrong. Running a HR program in a workplace like SHIELD couldn’t be easy. Now I knew a little about the inner workings of SHIELD, I didn’t envy her job at all. 

The huge home turned out to be a nursing home. Curiosity burned through me as we followed Grams and Peggy through the halls. We came out through the long hallways into a courtyard. The garden was beautiful. So many colours bloomed in the huge garden. There wasn’t enough words to actually describe all of the different colours littering the grounds. Sitting at one of the tables was a small man in a wheelchair, stopped with age. But on his head was a very old bowler that had seen better days. It wasn’t hard to tell who it was. The bowler was a dead give away.

Timothy ‘Dum Dum’ Dugan. 

Next to me Jared faltered in his stride. His face went red, not unlike mine from earlier. Peggy was my hero growing up. The Howling Commandos were Jared’s. I gave him a not too gentle nudge in the ribs and teasing smile.

“Seems we’re both going to fangirl out,” I murmured under my breath to Jared.

“Don’t worry I’m already internally screaming,” Jared murmured back. He looked like he was trying very hard not to grin like an excited kid. As we walked on the path, Jared’s hand found mine and he gripped it tightly. He shot me a very quick grin as we got within hearing range. Grams and Peggy were already hugging Dugan in greeting. 

“Dugan, these are my Grandkids,” Grams motioned for us to come a little closer. We huddled together as the 2 of us shuffled forward. “Kari and Jared.”

“Hi,” I said softly. I could feel my cheeks turning bright red once again. Jared didn’t quite make a word. He made a squeaking sound which sounded too high pitched to be coming from a man.

“Pleasure to meet you both,” Dugan moved to shake Jared’s hand. 

Jared looked frozen on the spot. I had to give him a shove forwards so he didn’t look like a complete idiot. My shoved snapped him from his haze and his tongue finally unfroze.

“The pleasure is all mine,” Jared moved forward and shook Dugan’s hand vigorously. He held on a few more seconds than he really needed to. 

“Come with me Kari,” Peggy looped her arm through mine. Before I could say anything to Dugan, she was already walking off. Not wanting to be embarrassed by being dragged along by an 80 something year old lady, I followed her. I saw Grams give me a quick smile out of the corner of my eye as Peggy and I left the group.

We were both quiet as we slowly moved around the garden. It was a beautiful day. It wasn’t hot or muggy. The sun beat down just enough to make it comfortable. The scents from all the flowers mixed together in a strong perfume. I felt like a giant standing next to Peggy, a big awkward lumbering giant. I couldn’t think of anything intelligent to say at all.

“You know there’s no need to be shy around me,” Peggy broke the silence first. I don’t know whether to be relieved or even more awkward for what she said. 

“I’m not shy, I’m just awkward,” the words slipped out before I could stop them. I cringed at my own stupidness. I opened my mouth to try and sound somewhat intelligent. But Peggy laughed and gave my arm a small squeeze.

“Oh my dear, please just relax,” Peggy’s laughter was as bright as the sunshine coming down on us. “You know we’ve met before?”

“No?” I looked down at Peggy in confusion.

“You were only little,” Peggy smiled, looking a little lost in the memory. “Maybe 2 or 3? Paul had to take you and Jared to work for some reason.”

I had no memory of this at all. It’d make sense given how young I would have been. But it wasn’t unusual for us to go to work with either of our parents when we were younger. I had plenty of memories sitting at the back of Mom’s office or Dad’s lab, reading or watching movies, before we started school. 

“I was there talking to Nick about something,” Peggy laughed again. “And the next thing I know here’s a little Jared standing next to me, grinning wildly and a little girls laughter coming from out of nowhere. Then all of a sudden there’s this little blonde girl giggling up at me.”

I relaxed a little, my own smile starting to form.

“You weren’t much older than some of my grandchildren,” Peggy smiled happily. “Nick had no idea what to with both of you so I took you back to the lab. I got about 3 steps out of the door and here you both were again in front of me. Jared kept asking to be picked up. I couldn’t say no.”

“We were horrible children,” I laughed quietly. It sounds like something we would have done as children. Jared was always leading me astray. Not that I ever complained much. 

“Just curious children,” Peggy gave my arm another squeeze. “So you both spent the day with me, you thoroughly enjoyed yourself trying to mimic my accent.”

That explains where my obsession about mimicking British accents during school came from. I thought it was just from Professor Xavier. Turns out it started a lot younger than that. Funny how little things you do in life can come from something you don’t even remember. 

“You were good kids,” Peggy smiled up at me. “And you’ve grown into amazing adults. Hazel is so proud of everything you’ve accomplished.”

“There are days where I feel like getting out of bed in an accomplishment,” I brushed off Peggy’s praise. I could feel my cheeks heating in embarrassment yet again. At least out here I could blame the sun for giving my face a pink tinge. “I got lucky that Barton and Romanoff wanted me. I don’t think anyone else would have trained me so well. It's a privilege to work with them.”

“At least your dealings with Natasha are happy,” Peggy scrunched her nose up. “The last run in I had with someone from the Red Room program was less than pleasant. From what I’ve heard of Agent Romanoff, she’s 3 times as deadly as Dottie ever was.”

I racked my brain trying to remember who Dottie was. It took a few moments to remember the stories Grams told us. She was a product of the early version of the Red Room. Peggy and Grams had run ins with her after World War 2. From memory it was something to do with Leviathan. But that’s as far as my memory was stretching at the moment.

“I know, she kick my ass on a very regular basis but at least buys me coffee afterwards to remind me she still loves me,” I joked. 

That made Peggy laugh at me. Once her laughter died down we walked in a more comfortable silence. We came to a bench at the other end of the gardens where Peggy stopped.

“My old legs don’t go quite as far as they used to,” Peggy sunk down onto the bench. She patted the empty space next to her. I quickly sat down next to her gazing out over the gardens. Grams and Jared were talking animatedly with Dugan. From this far I couldn’t see much, but the laughter from the conversation carried across the quiet space every so often. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Peggy watching them with a sad smile on her face. 

“This isn’t a casual visit is it?” I asked after studying Peggy for a few moments.

“No sadly it isn’t,” Peggy’s smile fell away from her face. Instead she now just had an uneasy look on her face. “His cancer is back. The doctor’s gave him 2 months at most. Timothy is the last Howling Commando. Pretty soon they’ll be nothing more than a legend told in stories and history books.”

“Sorry to hear that feels a little insignificant,” I couldn’t think of anything else to say. What could you say to something like that? I hated hearing people say they were sorry after Riley died. Or some other meaningless empty words. I couldn’t imagine sitting here waiting for your friend to die. Or being given a time limit on your life. 

“We’ve all lived a full and incredible life,” Peggy turned to me pushing a slightly forced smile on her face. “Of course there’s been some bumps along the road but thats life. You take the good and the bad all together.”

Peggy would know that well. If there was anyone who knew loss in their life, it was her. I knew the stories. The push she needed to join 

“I’ll be staying here as of next week too,” Peggy continued. “After Daniel died, the house is just too big and empty for me to mange it alone. Besides, it’ll be good to have a friend around to share bourbon with. Do you drink bourbon?”

“No way,” I wrinkled my nose in slightly disgust. “Scotch or beer.”

“I suppose that will have to do,” Peggy sighed looking disappointed. But there was an amused twinkle in her eye. Thinking of who else drank bourbon made my good mood fall away. Wouldn’t Riley love to be here right now, drinking bourbon with a Howling Commando and the ex Director of SHIELD. He admired Peggy as much as I did. 

“As long as you don’t murder the good scotch with ice than I suppose we can accommodate that,” Peggy reached over and took my hand. She gave it a gentle squeeze before speaking again. “I suppose you keep hearing that it’ll get easier, that you’ll move on with your life soon enough?”

“And that it will get better,” I tried to smile but it came out as more of a grimace. Here I was ruining a perfectly good day because I couldn’t think of Riley without getting upset. There was so many things that reminded me of him on a daily basis.

“After Steve went missing,” Peggy paused. Even after all these years it looked like this was still hard to talk about. “I never thought I’d be the same again. People kept telling me to move on and that I’ll get over it eventually. But something like that never fully leaves you.”

My heart sank at hearing that. Here I was hoping by keeping busy that I’d be able to bury my grief and move on. But Peggy had still managed to do so much with her life. How did she keep going after everything that happened in her life?

“You can let it destroy you or you let it fuel you,” Peggy looked out over the gardens as she spoke. “Let all the pain, the anger, guilt and the grief that hurts so bad push you to become a better person. To do some good in this world. You’re so much like me Kari. Except you’re in a time where you don’t have to fight tooth and nail for respect simply because you’re a woman.”

Peggy words were like a breath of fresh air in my life. It was such a nice change from ‘things will get better.’ If scaring myself senseless was a fright enough to snap myself out of the depressed funk I’d fallen into. This was a slap across the face and a kick up the ass all at the same time to get myself going again. Combed with the happiness of kicking Rumlow’s ass this morning, I hadn’t felt more alive in weeks. 

“I do quite enjoy seeing that arrogant son of a bitch Rumlow get his ass whipped by a little 9 stone girl,” Peggy grinned at me, making the years fall away from her face. “That has made my year.”

“You know Brock?” I was a little surprised. I didn’t know Rumlow would be old enough to be around when Peggy was still Director. Now I thought of it, I had no idea how old Brock actually was. I’d have to ask him.

“I may be a bit of a sticky beak and like to know what still goes on in SHIELD,” Peggy didn’t look the least bit apologetic. “Rumlow has always been a very ambitious man and rather ruthless when it suits him.”

“That doesn’t sound like the joking smartass that I know,” I was surprised to hear that. I’d never seen that side to Rumlow. He’d been nothing but a good friend to me. 

“Sometimes people aren’t all they seem on the surface,” Peggy got to her feet, stretching slowly as she went. “But as they go, you could do with plenty worse than Rumlow. Personality aside, he’s a very good STRIKE leader. Come on, we better go see what the boys have gotten themselves into.”

“Mischief and no good knowing my twin,” I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if we made it back to where they were sitting to find a bottle of bourbon there. Jared wasn't a huge bourbon drinker, but he wouldn’t knock one back either. I got to my feet as well, wincing as my sore muscles started to make themselves known already. 

“That runs in the family,” Peggy teased. She hooked her arm back through mine again, this time using me for support as we started to walk back to the others. “Promise me you’ll remember what I just said to you?”

“I promise.”

It was an easy promise to make. If Peggy Carter was telling me to get off my ass and do some good with the incredible opportunity I’d been given in my life. Then I’d get off my ass and keep going. 

“And do make it a habit to come and visit me when I move in here,” Peggy’s tone left no room to say no or for any argument. “I expect to hear many more amazing things about you. Lets go get some of that brunch before the boys eat it all.”

Brunch extended well into afternoon tea. The day was full of laughs and plenty of old stories. Once I’d gotten over my initial shyness with Dugan, he was a lot of fun. It was late afternoon by the time Jared and I left. There was no dragging Grams and Peggy away from their old friend for another few hours. I had no doubt they would still be talking into the small hours of tomorrow morning. It’d been a good day. 

I was dead on my feet and aching by the time we got back to our apartment. I leant against the wall waiting for Jared to unlock the door. He looked just as tired as I was feeling. He swung open the door and stepped back to let me in first.

2 steps into the hallway a body collided into mine. Half a second later a heavier weight slammed into me as well, sending a tangle of bodies crashing to the floor. It was Natasha who hugged me first, Clint a second behind her. 

“Hey stranger,” Natasha’s voice was muffed in my shoulder as she hugged me hard. 

“We missed you,” Clint added, hugging Natasha and I together in a very awkward position. 

“I missed you too,” I felt a little choked up at their surprise appearance. “Both of you.”

Nope scratch the good day bit. Today had been an awesome day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note
> 
> Sorry for the VERY lengthy delay everyone. I’ve been sick again. I just don’t have the energy or feel well enough to focus on a computer screen for too long. So this got typed out about 100 words at a time.
> 
> Updates will be a bit sporadic until I’m feeling better. 
> 
> I hope everyone enjoyed Peggy Carter in this chapter. There’s a few references here from the TV series Agent Carter. It’s quite good if you feel like binge watching something. It starts off slow but really kicks it up a few notches halfway through the first season.
> 
> Until next time.


	42. Chapter 42

It was weird how normal my life suddenly became after Clint and Natasha got home. It was back to work training every morning. I'd hit the archery range with Clint. I even did a few supply flights which Clint tagged along with me. Coulson was back. The night we'd gotten back from Malibu sent him on a mission to Bahrain that hadn't gone to plan. The aftermath of it all kept him so busy we barely saw him leave the office. Jared was sent away on another mission with no time frame. But having Clint and Natasha around filled the empty void he left. It was easy to fall back into my old routine. The days were too busy for me to think about Riley. I'd be left so tired I'd fall asleep as soon as I got home making the nights bearable. If I got lonely I went straight to Clint's place. Having the kids around was a perfect distraction. It turns out they'd missed me so much they'd barely leave me alone. Even if I wanted to sit at home and mourn for Riley, I wasn't given any chance to. But it was good to keep pushing through all the pain. It gave me a reason to get out of bed every morning.

If it wasn't Clint and Natasha keeping me busy, it was someone else. I took Abby to her scan and poked fun at the alien looking baby on the screen. Even the doctor doing the ultrasound got a giggle out of me saying it looked just like Evans with those funny features. Abby smacked me on the arm for my cheek. Then promptly burst into tears seeing their baby on the screen healthy and growing. I didn't want to admit I may have gotten a little choked up as well. I was so happy for them. Alexi had been extra clingy with me. She wouldn't let me out of her sight when I was over there. It was endearing and annoying at the same time. Though I was taking a little too much pleasure in stretching her vocabulary. A lot of it wasn't in English either.

2 weeks after Peggy's visit I came down with a stuffy nose and headache. I ignored it and pushed through another 3 days of work until it hit me so hard I could barely move. I was so tired I barely stayed away long enough to actually make it to work. I didn't even make it to the gym. Clint turned me around in the locker room and marched me straight down to his car and back home. All protests were ignored as he put me to bed with the promise to come over later and check on me. I promptly fell asleep, only waking up to just make it to the toilet to throw up. I spent the next day and a half alternating between being sick and sleeping.

This flu was killing me. I seriously wanted to crawl into a ball and just die to make it stop. My nose was blocked and no amount of blowing was helping it. I felt like I was swallowing razorblades and my stomach was objecting to everything except for ginger ale and tea. I'd only made it to the couch this morning and couldn't move back to bed. My poor body just hurt too much and I was too sick.

I reached over for yet another tissue as I stared blankly at the TV. I had put Transformers on but I was too zoned out to really be paying attention. I think I kept falling asleep because I'd wake up and the movie wold be in a completely different scene than to what I remembered. I curled up in a ball willing my nauseous stomach to disappear as I burrowed into the blanket even further. Fuck this flu sucked. I rarely got sick, but when I did it was always horrid. Getting the flu at the start of summer was just stupid and very typical of my luck.

My phone vibrating on the coffee table but I couldn't be bothered to reach over and pick it up. Last time I tried to move off the couch I'd spent 5 minutes curled in a ball trying not to throw up. I tried to pay attention to the movie again but it just wasn't happening for me. I closed my eyes hoping I'd fall asleep and everything would magically be better when I woke up.

I woke out to the sound of someone walking around in the apartment. The footsteps seemed to vibrate around in my aching head giving me an even worse headache than I already had. It took a lot of effort to pry my eyes open to see who the intruder was. If someone was robbing me I'd tell them to take everything and just leave me alone. Thankfully it wasn't a robber, but Clint who was now crouching down in front of me.

"Come on, you can spend a few days at home," Clint looked at me sympathetically. I shook my head in protest but was only cut off by it making me feel nauseous again. Clint wasn't having any of my stubbornness today. He just picked me up, reached down to grab a bag and then marched out of the door. I was too sick and feeling like shit to keep protesting. I was asleep before we even made it to the garage. I didn't wake up until Clint tucked me into bed in the spare room at his place. I had to bolt for the bathroom only just making it in time before I was sick.

This went on for another 3 days. Another 3 long days of torture and feeling ready to die. I was lying on the floor of the bathroom, curled up half asleep on the toilet at 0430. Clint had convinced me I'd be able to stomach at least some soup. He'd even made chicken noodle soup for me from scratch, not out of a tin. It'd stayed down for a grand total of 45 minutes. I hadn't left the bathroom since. A gentle knock on the doorframe made me blearily raise my head. It was Laura. She'd only gotten home a few hours ago from work.

"Sorry I woke you," I managed to rasp out. Ugh. I hated having a sore throat. Throwing up all the time wasn't helping it either.

"I was awake," Laura didn't lie terribly well. Despite being sick I knew that was a pretty bold faced lie. "So this is really starting to concern me. I'm ready to take you to work and hook you up to a drip at least. I brought home a Maxolon jab if this goes on any longer."

"It's just the flu," I protested weakly. "It'll go away soon. When I get sick, I get really sick."

I lay my head back down on the toilet seat, willing my stomach to settle down. Laura sighed quietly and came to sit on the edge of the bath near me. She looked really tired, more so than usual.

"What birth control are you on?" Laura asked me bluntly.

That question was enough to make me raise my head again. What did that have to do with anything?

"I have an IUD," my nose started to run. I reached over and grabbed a handful of toilet paper and blew into it. At least I was finally getting some clearance from that. The ability to breath was much appreciated. "Why?"

"When did you last get your period?"

"I don't get them," my poor brain could barely follow this conversation. Between having an IUD and a very low body fat percentage it was so rare I actually got a period. My last one was easily over 18 months ago and barely worth calling a period. Even before that mine were always all over the place.

"Just…" Laura bit her lip looking uncertain. She stood up from the bath and walked to the cabinet above the sink. "Don't have a panic attack with what I'm about to give you."

I really hoped it was something to either knock me out, or stop feeling like I was going to throw up every time I moved. Even the usual anti nausea drugs weren't working. I don't think I kept them in my stomach long enough for them to work. Laura rummaged around for a few seconds before pulling a box out. Wordlessly she handed it to me.

It was a pregnancy test.

"That's not even funny," I groaned letting it drop to the floor. I closed my eyes again, enjoying the cool of the porcelain on my skin. Even I knew I was running a fever without needing a thermometer. If I got really hot I'd dunk my hand under some water and then freeze it in a thin layer of ice over my hand for some relief.

"I'm not being funny," Laura bent down and picked it up. She tapped the box on my arm. "I'm being serious. Come on, pee on a stick and at least rule one thing out."

How long had it been since Riley died now. 6 weeks? We'd had sex the night before he left for that mission that went so fucking wrong. My IUD was due to be replaced in a couple of weeks. I'd just been procrastinating about making the appointment to have it done. My stomach knotted uncomfortably for another reason as I stared at the box still in Laura's hands. Fuck me, I never even thought of that. That was the furthest thing in my mind from the last few weeks. I'd only just started making it through the day without wanting to cry when I thought about Riley. There was no way I could be pregnant.

"I have an IUD," I protested weakly trying to block the thought process going through my head. Panic was setting in at the mere thought of being pregnant.

"Which can fail," Laura said firmly. "Unless you two used condoms all the time as well there's a chance. A small one, but believe me when I say this that this happens a lot more than you realise."

The look on my face must have given it away that we definitely didn't use condoms. Laura was ripping the box open while I sat there in growing panic. My stomach started to roll uncomfortably for entirely different reasons to the flu.

What if I was pregnant? Did I even want to go through with that alone? I wasn't fit to be a mother, let alone a single mother. I couldn't do this if I was pregnant. Laura had the test opened and she handed it to me, leaving me no choice in the matter.

"I need to pee in private," the mumbled excuse was very weak.

"I'll wait just outside in case you fall over," Laura offered me a hand to help me to my feet. "I'll give you a minute."

There was no room for arguments when it came to Laura. I'd never get out of this no matter what. As soon as the door pulled shut, I did as I was told. Peeing on that white stick made me think of how much my life could change in less than 2 minutes. I'd only just made the decision to stay in SHIELD and now this might be happening. When would I ever get a break? A very small part of my mind wanted to be excited at the possibility. It was hard to be heard over my screaming panic going on in my head, but it was there. If I was pregnant it'd be a small part of Riley I'd have. But it'd also be a very painful reminder of him every single day.

"I'm coming back in," Laura called through the door. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and quickly yanked my pants back on. The motion of standing up so quickly made me quickly sit back on the floor as a wave of nausea hit me really hard. Laura strode back in just as I sat on the floor. I stared at the white stick still in my hands looking at the window.

"It takes a few minutes," Laura said as she gently took it from my hands. She placed the test on the sink and sat down on the floor next to me. "You look like you're about to have a panic attack, or cry.I'm not sure which one it is."

"Both," I admitted with a forced tug on my lips. "I don't know what to think."

"Are we having a girls night in the bathroom?" Natasha strode in, yawning as she walked in. Without another word she collapsed on the floor next to Laura. It was only then she seemed to shake herself from her half sleep. "Still sick? Did Laura make you take the pregnancy test yet?"

"Do you even know how to be subtle?" Laura asked Natasha with a shake of her head. "It's sitting on the sink by the way."

Natasha sprung back to her feet and looked over on the sink. The face of disappointment she pulled made my panic start to rise even more.

"Still not ready," Natasha wrinkled her nose. "Why do they take so long?"

Good question. My fate was hanging in the balance of that test and it seemed to make time tick by even slower than before.

"Believe me it feels even slower when you're the one waiting for the result," Laura said dryly. She checked her watch and then looked back to me. "Are you pale because you're feeling sick or are you going to pass out on us for an entirely different reason?"

"Both," I licked my suddenly dry lips. "What if I'm pregnant?"

"Then I'm the god mother," Natasha wasn't missing anything this morning, despite the early hour. She usually needed at least 2 coffee's before anything was more articulate than a grunt. I didn't even know she'd stayed the night. She hadn't been around when Clint had gotten me to eat earlier.

"And you can worry about it if you are," Laura was at least trying to be soothing. The silence stretched out for a few long uncomfortable moments as the question hung in the air. The glances between Laura and Natasha didn't go unnoticed by me.

"I don't know if I can do it if I was," I whispered resting my forehead back on the toilet seat to cool my sweaty skin down. "I don't know if I could live every day seeing R…"

My voice hitched trying to say his name still. I closed my eyes willing the lump in my throat back down into my heart where it belonged. Would this ever get any better? This was made so much worse by I'd finally started to think having a family wasn't such a bad idea.

"Being a Mom isn't the end of the world," Laura said gently. I felt her hand fall on my back rubbing reassuring circles. "We'd all help if you were. It might even stop Clint pestering me for child number 3."

I laughed very weakly at that. If nothing else Clint had been at that for the last few months, Natasha wasn't helping the case either. She wanted to be an Aunt the third time over just as much as Clint wanted to be a Dad again.

I heard one of them shuffle back to a stand and a footstep towards the sink. The silence in the room was deafening. I raised my head to look at who it was checking the test. It was Natasha standing there with it in her hands. The look of disappointment told me everything I needed to know already. Wordlessly she handed me the test and I confirmed it for myself.

Negative.

The tears erupted so quickly I couldn't force them away this time. Both Natasha and Laura fell to the floor to comfort me. I sobbed against Natasha shoulder so hard I could barely breath. I was only vaguely aware of Laura behind me again as she tried to comfort me as well. It took a long few minutes for the tears to finally dry up and my sobs to quieten down.

"Is this relief or upset because you're not?" Natasha finally asked me quietly.

I just shook my head. I didn't even know the answer myself.

Laura gave me the maxolon injection before we all left the bathroom. I was still out of it to feel anything except numb and exhausted. My bout of uncontrollable tears drained every last ounce of energy out of me. I was leaning heavily on both Natasha and Laura to even make it back to bed. Once I got there, I all but collapsed on the bed. Laura pulled the covers up over me while Natasha pushed my messy hair out of my face.

"Go back to sleep," Natasha murmured to me in Russian. "Everything will be better in the morning."

I was too tired to correct Natasha on it already being morning. I did as I was told and closed my eyes. I was out cold within seconds. When I woke up again it was late afternoon. For the first time in days I didn't feel the need to rush out of bed and puke. My head and throat still ached, I felt like I was lying in a puddle of snot and sweat, but my stomach was settled.

I could hear raised voices coming from downstairs. One was definitely Clint's and the quieter one sounded like Laura. Whatever they were arguing about was loud. Just not loud enough for me to hear actual words. It went on for a good 10 minutes before the front door slammed. The slam was hard enough that you could hear things rattling on the wall. I'd place good money on it being Clint who slammed the door for whatever reason the argument was about.

I waited another few minutes in the now silent house before getting up. I was still weak and my body ached making it a chore to get to the bathroom. But at least it wasn't a violent sprint to get there. I could actually take my time to get there. The feeling of being able to sit on the toilet like a normal person, not curled around it, was such a nice feeling. I took my time in giving my face a quick wash and brushing my hair so I didn't look like how I'd been feeling. My hair was a wild tangle of knots and hung limply around my face. I had huge, dark circles under my eyes and my cheeks looked drawn and hollow. I looked terrible.

My eyes fell down to the bin where the pregnancy test had been thrown in. It was such a bizarre turn of events. After all these weeks of everything getting turned upside down, it made me realise things could always be worse. Much worse. My life could have changed in an instant if that test had been positive. I wasn't sure if it would be in a good way either. The idea of a family with Riley was exciting. By myself, there's no way I could do it. I'd never find anyone else like Riley. Any thoughts of settling down and having a family died along with him. The relief of the negative pregnancy test outweighed the guilt I felt.

I was a horrible, selfish person. But I just couldn't do it. Not without Riley.

"Kari?" Clint's voice came through the door along with a quiet knock.

"I'm decent," I rasped out. I tore my eyes away from the bin and pushed it from my mind. Just another thing to bury and not think about again. It was easier this way. To keep busy so I couldn't let myself be miserable. I'd been doing a good job of it. I couldn't stop now.

That was a surprise that it was Clint still here. Whatever they were fighting about mustn't have been good to make Laura slam the door like that. I was always in trouble from her for letting the door slam.

"Hey look at that, your upright too," Clint pushed the door open. He gave me a small smile that looked very strained. "How are you feeling?"

"Been better," I winced as I snagged another knot in my hair. "But I've been out of bed for a few minutes and not thrown up."

"New record," Clint chuckled weakly. "Do you want a cup of tea? Maybe some toast?"

"Eh, maybe just the tea," I didn't want to push my luck with food just yet. I'd never been much of a tea drinker but Laura kept a few nice blends.

"Laura left me another shot, so lets try the toast," Clint coaxed. "And enjoy the peace and quiet because Aunty Nat is taking the kids out for the afternoon. Come on."

Clint held out his hand, effectively ending any argument on my part. Now I thought of it, some toast didn't seem so bad. I put the hairbrush down and pulled my hair back into a messy ponytail. I took Clint's hand and let him pull me down to the kitchen. I was nearly out of energy just walking down the stairs. Lucy and Lucky greeted me at the bottom of the stairs, both begging for attention. I smiled and reached down to pat them both. I'd woken up to Lucky asleep in the bed with me a few times over the last few days. I'd been glad for the company, even if it was only the 4 legged kind.

"Go outside," Clint shooed the dogs out. They both looked at Clint with their pitiful eyes before obeying the command. If the weather was like before I got sick, I wouldn't want to be outside either. It was hot and unbearably muggy with little relief even when it rained.

We made it to the kitchen, where I happily collapsed into the first chair at the table. I might not have been feeling like I wanted to throw up, but it was taking a lot of energy out of me. Clint busied himself getting the tea and toast ready.

"Where's Laura?" I asked tentatively. It was so quiet at the moment without anyone else here.

"Work," Clint said a little shortly. "Did we wake you up?"

"Nope," I half lied. "Though, we always get into trouble for slamming the door. It must be Laura's turn for it."

Clint chuckled briefly before turning around. He put a plate of toast on the table, along with the ginger and lemon tea I'd been drinking over the last few days. The tea was about the only thing that stayed in my stomach for more than 5 minutes. I wrinkled my nose at the sight of food. Even something as bland as toast.

"Just one piece," Clint pulled a chair out and sat down. He had a cup of coffee which smelt very tempting right now. A lot more tempting than my own cup of tea and toast. I sighed and looked at Clint pleadingly. He didn't waver. He just pointed to the plate with a stern look. I picked up a piece of toast and took a small nibble. My stomach didn't protest at the first bite. Or the second. I ate my way through the piece, sipping on my tea. Clint was quiet, drinking his coffee and eating a few pieces of toast as well.

"I've never seen you this quiet before," I prodded gently. Whatever Laura and Clint had argued about mustn't been good.

"Yeah well," Clint drifted away. He started to absently play with the crusts he pulled off his toast. "I hate it when we fight. Especially when its over the same bullshit we always fight over."

"Sorry," I said instantly. I shouldn't have brought it up. What Clint and Laura argued about was none of my business.

"Don't be sorry," Clint sighed and threw his crusts back on the plate. "I started it and then it dissolved into the same bullshit argument about work."

"I thought Laura understood about our line of work?" I asked tentatively.

"She does," Clint blew out a breath. "But with Riley…"

Ah. Even feeling as terrible as I did, I got it straight away. Riley's death didn't just effect me. I was too wrapped up in my own grief to notice the effect on everyone else. It must have been horrible for Clint. I didn't even think to consider how he'd be coping through this whole situation. He'd been his normal smartass self. Always cracking jokes, pushing my limits in training. Under the surface must have been a different picture. Clint could be just as good, sometimes better, as Natasha for keeping his emotions closed off.

"Its hard when it hits a lot closer to home than normal," Clint said as he rubbed his forehead. "Laura had a bit of bitch about me going away for the last mission. Lila is too young to really understand about Riley. Cooper took it pretty hard as well. So she had to deal with that while I was gone."

Poor kids. Again, I didn't even think how things would be for everyone around me. Riley had been a big part of everyone's life over the last few months

"I'm sorry," I said again in a small voice. "I've kind of turned everyone's life upside down."

"Again, don't be sorry," Clint threw a small piece of crust at me. I scowled at him as it hit me dead centre of the forehead. "None of us could have predicted this. It sucks, but we're all moving on."

I couldn't think of a single damn thing to say. Even if I wasn't sick I would have been stumped on finding the right words. Clint really had been incredible with how he'd let me into his secret life so easily. There was never a question of keeping anything from me. The minute I'd been assigned to STRIKE Team Delta I became part of the family. Despite his reassurances, I wasn't feeling at all good about this. The last thing I'd ever want to do is cause problems in Clint's marriage just because of me.

"Kari," Clint broke me from my thoughts. "Stop worrying about it. I can hear the thoughts from here."

I stopped myself from apologising again. If I did Clint just might smack me for it.

"We're married, we fight sometimes," Clint reached over and took my hand. "It's not your fault that we're fighting. So I don't want to hear you apologise or even look worried about it. Understood?"

"Yes boss," I refrained from rolling my eyes at Clint's bossy tone. He sounded so much like Jared when he was done talking about a subject. There was never any room to argue about it. Once the subject was closed, it was over and done with. It was like trying to move a mountain to try and push to continue with it.

"Why don't you go have a shower?" Clint suggested. "Then come and crash on the couch, I'll stick a movie on."

"Sounds like a plan," I said with a small smile. "Do I stink that bad?"

"Yep," Clint smirked at me as he got up. "You stink as bad as you look."

Geez, thanks Barton. You sure know how to give a girl some confidence in herself. I scowled at Clint, pushing myself up and away from the table. The little bit of food in my stomach did wonders for my energy levels. Ignoring Clint's very smug smirk I went back upstairs and did as I was told. The shower did feel amazing. The steam managed to unblock my nose enough I could breath properly. I found a change of clothes in the bag Clint packed for me. Clean and dressed I almost felt like a normal person again. Almost.

Clint already had a movie on. I lay across the couch with my feet in Clint's lap. I frowned at the screen, wondering what the hell I was actually watching. There was some guy on the screen rambling about double tap to make sure a zombie was dead.

"Zomebieland," Clint beat me to it before I could ask. "It's hilarious. Just watch it before you judge me."

Clint had a very random taste in movies. But I usually couldn't fault his taste. If he said a movie was good, I usually agreed with him. I grabbed a cushion, putting it under my head settling in to watch the movie. He was right, 5 minutes into the movie and I was laughing my ass off at it. When it was finished, Clint coaxed me into soup for dinner again. Despite for sleeping for hours, I went back to bed straight after my early dinner.

It became a bit of a routine for the next few days. Get up, laze on the couch and back to bed. I barely saw Laura. She seemed to be working crazier hours than normal, the kids more than made up for it. Natasha as well. By Monday I felt well enough to head to work with Clint. Not that I had much of a choice. On Friday afternoon an email came through to all STRIKE personal. Compulsory yearly medicals and the warning of random drug testings. Both Clint and Natasha had snorted and rolled their eyes at that one. Apparently one of the joys of being STRIKE Team Delta was they always got selected for the drug testing. We also always got called in first being the smallest and general the easiest team to get through. It was just another wasted morning we could have spent blowing up targets, or making nuisances of ourselves in Coulson's office.

It saw me sitting on a bed trying not to yawn as I got the usual things taken. It was Max, who seemed to be just as bored as I was with all this. He'd spent more time admiring the lack of scar on my leg from coming off my Kawasaki earlier in the year than anything else. Whatever Laura had used really did work wonders on it. He'd already drawn a few vials of blood and thrown them in a small machine.

"So you need to pee in this," Max picked up a small container and handed it to me. "Lucky you for the random drug test."

Max made quotation marks with his fingers as the word random. It made me laugh quietly at the not so random drug test. I took the sample container off him and took another sip of water like I had been all morning. It was partly so I could pee when I needed to. The other part was to try and push my weight up a bit. I was sitting on 119 pounds thanks to my week of throwing up. It wasn't a good number to be on. I really should have been at least 125 pounds due to my height to pass a basic BMI test. 130 pounds would have been better like I was a few months ago. I'd lost so much muscle mass over the last few weeks it was frustrating. I'd only just been able to stomach decent food as of last night so I couldn't even feed myself up for this.

"Any chance you could be pregnant?" Max's eyes dropped down to his clipboard.

"No," I was relieved to be very confident to say that. "I was sick last week and a friend made me do a pregnancy test just to rule it out."

"Awesome," Max didn't look up. "Do you take birth control?"

"Yes," I really hated medicals. I felt like they needed to know when you wiped your ass last time. "IUD, its due to be replaced in a few weeks."

"We can do that today if you'd like," Max tapped his pen on the clipboard. "That way its done and you don't have to worry about it if you get called away on a mission."

I grimaced but nodded my consent. It saved me a lot of hassle but I wasn't looking forward to it. The fucker hurt enough going in. Let alone getting one pulled out and then it replaced. I didn't get to dwell on it much longer because Max was firing questions at me again. When he was finally done asking about the list of vaccinations I'd had while in the Air Force, he tapped his pen against the sample jar.

"Off you go," Max said. "I'll grab one of the female medics and get her to do your IUD after I'm finished with you."

"Yay," I muttered under my breath, but complied, jumping down off the bed and headed towards the door.

"Don't give start giving me attitude," Max swatted me with the clipboard as I left the room. "I'll start calling you Romanoff Junior otherwise."

That made me laugh. I did as I was told and headed to the bathroom. Thankfully my sipping on water had done the trick. I was done and heading back in less than 3 minutes. Natasha was just coming out of the bathroom as I went in. We pulled identical bored faces at each other in passing. Neither of us stopped to chat though. The sooner we got this done the quicker we could all go home.

Once I went back to the room I handed the sample jar to Max. He pointed to the scales.

"Shoes off," Max instructed. "You should know the drill."

I kicked my sneakers off and got on the scale. I flinched as the numbers showed up at 118.5. Yikes. That wasn't what I wanted to see. Before I could react, Max gave the scales a hard kick. It sent the numbers haywire before the screen blanked out.

"Oh fuck look at that they broke," Max's fake look of surprise made me smile. "I've got a good idea. Why don't you head to the cafeteria? I believe the spaghetti bolognese is really good, plus some ice cream and the biggest milkshake you can manage with it."

"Okay?" I looked at Max questioningly.

"Come back in about," Max looked at his watch. "Half an hour. Don't go to the toilet. I should have the scales replaced by then. Maybe throw a protein shake down on your way back up."

This was a good way of making me sick all over again. But I was getting the train of thought. If I stuffed myself full I might just make the minimum weight to pass my medical. Max was currently doing me a very big favour. Though I had no idea why. I barely knew the guy. It wasn't any skin off his nose whether I passed my medical or not. Instead of arguing about it, I did as I was told.

I was hungry by the time I made it to the cafeteria, so it wasn't hard to stuff myself full as quickly as possible. I even managed to have the extra large helping of ice cream and milkshake. I was disgustingly full to the point of uncomfortable by the time I walked back to medical. Max was waiting with a new set of scales.

"Lets see if these work," Max said with a smug smile.

I kicked my shoes off again and got on the scales. This time they jumped up to 123 pounds. At least the water weight was giving me a boost. Not as much as I needed. I bit my lip looking down at those numbers. I was so damn skinny at the moment. I really hated my body type sometimes. Why couldn't I put on weight as easily as I lost it? There was no way I was going to pass this medical with my weight. I tried not to let my disappointment show. Good bye the small amount of flying time I was getting.

"128, damn those last scales were dodgy," Max noted it down on the clipboard. I raised my eyebrows and looked up at Max. The 3 was very clearly not an 8.

"You must have a magic pen too," I couldn't keep my mouth shut.

"Being the head doctor here does have its advantages," Max flashed me a cheeky grin. "Magic pens are one of them. Sit so I can do your blood pressure too. Your blood work is a bit shitty meaning you had a virus recently, so that can make up for the 2 pounds you need to pass for your minimum weight."

That was easier than anticipated. My disappointment was replaced with surprise and a small amount of suspicion. Why was he doing this for me?

"Thank you," I couldn't think of much else to say as I sat back down on the bed. Thank you felt insignificant to say for what he was doing for me.

"You're welcome," Max grabbed the blood pressure cuff and attached it to my arm. "I'm not about to ground you for a silly reason like being a few pounds underweight when you're otherwise healthy and fit."

I was silent while he took my blood pressure. Thankfully it was normal, probably about the only thing not wrong with me at the moment. Its little wonder I'd gotten so sick. My poor body probably just had enough of the stress and couldn't cope anymore. It was the only reason I could think of with me being the only one so sick.

"I've seen the way you train," Max had a small chuckle. "I dare say with your body type you'd find it hell to gain weight."

"Tell me about it," I grumbled lightly. "But, again, thank you. I appreciate it a lot."

Max's smile wavered for a moment.

"I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend," Max said quietly. "Right now I'm guessing the last thing you need is to be sitting around with nothing to do. So, you're all clear on my end for field work again. I've seen too many people in Operations grounded for stupid reasons and it does more harm than good."

I was lost for words. I guess news always traveled fast in SHIELD. Not that it would have been hard to forget about Riley after his dramatics with Rollins. That felt like it was a lifetime ago instead of just a few months. What's more is that a complete stranger had just gone and done me a massive favour. I had no idea I could get this lucky about being back at work so quickly. I still hadn't heard anything about any psych appointments. Not that I was complaining. It was just a very strange set of circumstances allowing me to do this. I was sure it'd all come crashing down on me sooner rather than later. But for the moment I'd run with it.

"And before you get all mushy on me," Max glanced over his shoulder towards the door. "Here's your replacement IUD. Want some vidocin and valium to go with that?"

I nodded vigorously at the promise of good drugs to make this go smoother. Maybe if I was lucky I might even get enough sympathy from Clint to make me stir fry tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, look at this update! It's actually not 6 weeks from the last one. Are you surprised as I am? I know it's a bit shorter than usual, but its all part of the long term plan.
> 
> So hands up who thought Kari was actually pregnant? Sorry guys, I couldn't quite resist the bit of angst and drama there.
> 
> Thank you to everyone for sticking with me while I've been unwell and the updates and writing have been all over the place. And thank you for the well wishes. I'm excited to start getting back into the action side of things and pushing towards Iron Man 2 and Thor over the next piece of timeline I have planned.
> 
> Until next time.


	43. Chapter 43

I played with the hem of the dress I was wearing, tugging the short material down as if it’d make the dress longer on me. 

“Stop it,” Natasha slapped my hands away. “You look hot. Tonight will be fun so stop fussing with your dress.”

I swear the backless midnight blue dress hadn’t been this short when I tried it on. Though it could have been the 3 inch knee high boots I was wearing to make it even shorter. I sighed and cocked my head, studying myself in the mirror. Natasha was behind me curling her hair. She was also very conveniently blocking the door to my room. Not that it would have done me any good. Jared was sitting in the lounge room waiting for us to finish getting ready. If I tried to make my escape he’d stop me and throw me back into my room and not let me out until I was decent enough to come out.

I shouldn’t be such a stick in the mud about this. It was for Clint’s 30th birthday after all. We had a small private dinner last night with our little family. Whatever Laura and Clint fought about while I was sick seemed to be pushed from memory. But with it being Saturday night it was time for the wild celebration. With most of the STRIKE force. Apparently turning 30 was a big deal and needed to be celebrated with copious amount of alcohol. I tried to make every excuse to not come, but the 3 of them weren’t hearing any of my excuses. Clint whined that it was his birthday and I couldn’t miss it. Natasha told me I needed to get out and get drunk. Jared was just looking for an excuse to go out partying so told me to stop being a pain in the ass and come along. 

“Your hair looks good,” Natasha prodded trying to get a conversation out of me. I hadn’t exactly been talkative all day. I was torn between being a little shitty about being pushed to go out tonight when I really didn’t want to. There was also a minor feeling of excitement about doing something else besides work and sleep. I had gotten a haircut this morning. It brought my hair back up to my shoulders and with a few messy layers cut through it, giving me a small but nice change. It was still straightened from the hairdresser, falling in soft frames around my face. 

“It feels nice to have something done with it,” I smiled despite my mood of not wanting to go out. Along with the hairdresser I’d finally caught up on all the little things, like waxing, that I’d neglected over the last 2 months. It was a good thing I was a natural blonde and you couldn’t really see my body hair. It had gotten a little bit out of control. 

“Hurry up,” Jared’s voice called from the lounge room. “It’s going to be happy hour in 20 minutes.”

“I feel like I’m going to regret this night deeply,” I groaned. I gave myself one last look in the mirror and decided this was as good as it was going to get. It’s not like I was planning on going to pick up. I would have worn jeans if it wasn’t for Natasha dressing me. She was so damn bossy when she wanted to be.

“Quite possibly,” Natasha’s smirk was terrifying. “But when was the last time any of us went out?”

Good point Natasha. It’d been a while. Sure we went out for dinner and shopping. But I couldn’t actually remember the last time we’d all been out to party with the intention of getting drunk. Tomorrow was going to hurt. 

“I can’t remember,” I replied honestly.

“Which is why we’re going to go out and have a good time,” Natasha snuck a quick, but firm smile at me.

“No one is going to be having a good time unless you two hurry the fuck up,” it was Clint calling out this time. He must have gotten here a few minutes ago. He hadn't been here when I last stuck my head out the door. 

Natasha rolled her eyes and did a final twist with my GHD. Her hair was getting really long, nearly halfway down her back now. When she teased it into wild curls it looked amazing. Who was I kidding. Natasha looked amazing all of the time. She’d be the centre of attention tonight.

“Lets go,” Natasha turned the GHD off and grabbed her purse. I snatched mine up too. Not that I needed much beyond my phone and ID. But it was a nice purse that matched my boots well. As soon as my bedroom door opened Jared and Clint jumped to their feet, obvious relief written all over their faces. Clint’s eyebrows raised at seeing how we were both dressed.

“Could you have picked a shorter dress Kari?” Jared teased me a heartbeat later.

My shred of self confidence shattered all over the floor right there and then. I hadn’t put more than 2 pounds on since I’d been sick. My body was doing the annoying thing between looking half muscled or just plain skinny. I’d thrown the dress back in the cupboard when looking for something to wear tonight. But Natasha insisted that I had to wear it and nothing else would do.

“You look great Kari,” Clint smacked Jared over the back of the head. Jared winced and rubbed where Clint had just smacked him. “I noticed you didn’t pick on the cleavage Nat has going on.”

The figure hugging red dress Natasha had on left very little to the imagination with her cleavage. It dipped in all the perfect places making her look irresistible. At Clint’s admonishment Jared looked a little embarrassed. He’d been a surly pain in the ass ever since he’d gotten home from his last mission a week ago. When I asked him about it he got very snappy so I just left it alone. Even Natasha had commented on how much of an ass he was being. 

Jared grunted in response, still rubbing his head. Clint’s phone chimed as a message came through. He twisted his head looking at it on the coffee table. 

“Taxi’s here, lets go.”

We headed to a place called Ultrabar. It was a nightclub built in an old bank. 5 floors of music so there should be plenty of action. We hadn’t booked a table giving us the freedom to up and leave if things got too boring. But with most of the STRIKE force heading out, it wasn’t going to be a dull night. 

It was packed, despite the early hour. I hung onto the back of Clint’s shirt so I didn’t get lost in the crowd. We got drinks on the first floor before making our way up onto the third floor. Jared promptly headed to the bar there and came back with 4 shots in test tubes. I eyed off the bright blue liquid very suspiciously. 

“Happy birthday Barton!” Jared yelled over the noise of the music and crowd.

We all clinked the tubes together and threw them back. Whatever it was went down a little too easily. The mixture of fruity with a touch of sour was good. Really good. Clint pulled a disgusted face as the taste of his, quickly chasing it down with his scotch. 

“I need another one of these,” I held up my now empty tube. 

“Same,” Natasha hooked her arm through mine. “Maybe I’ll flash some more cleavage and we won’t have to pay for them.”

I groaned but let myself be taken along with Natasha. If anyone could get away with not paying for drinks the entire night, it was her. Then again, Jared was right in that my dress was really short. I was getting a few looks thrown my way. Maybe if I built up a bit of confidence I might be able to get someone to pay for my drinks too. We made it to the bar without too much hassle. Rumlow was standing there with some of his team ordering drinks. Natasha didn’t waste anytime going straight for him.

“Hi,” Natasha slipped an arm around his waist with a seductive smile. “Want to get us another one of these?”

Natasha held up the empty test tube. Instead of looking charmed Rumlow just looked pained.

“And whatever the girls are drinking,” Rumlow said after a beat to the bartender who was pouring drinks. “Better give me one too otherwise they won’t leave me alone.”

“Good boy,” Natasha purred at him. 

Rumlow rolled his eyes at Natasha. He turned to say something to me, but did a double take with a look of complete surprise on his face. He couldn’t seem to drag his eyes away from my legs. His stare was a lot longer than what would be considered polite.

“Nice boots,” Rumlow chuckled dragging his eyes away from my legs and back up to my face. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you out of workout clothes or jeans.”

The bartender finished the massive amount of drinks Rumlow had been ordering. Natasha and I threw down our shots instantly. Rumlow eyed his off before having his. He pulled a disgusted face, just like Clint had done. 

“God what is that?” Rumlow shook his head. He quickly downed a long swallow of beer. “Ugh you two have girly taste.”

“I know you fail to notice, but we are girls,” I said dryly. I licked the rim of the shot glass enjoying the taste. 

“With those dresses, nope you really can’t fail to notice,” Rumlow’s eyes seemed to have locked onto Natasha’s cleavage now. “Want another one of your girly shots?”

“Of course,” Natasha snorted. “Why are you being so nice?”

“I want front row seats to see what happens when the first guy grabs either one of your ass,” Rumlow motioned to the bartender again. “Give them another 2 of the toxic blue things.”

I took a sip of my scotch while the bartender poured our shots. I cringed as I saw a small bit of it was tequila. So much for my tequila ban. At least it wasn’t too much in it. This wasn’t going to end well. But I took the offered shot and downed it. My head was already starting to spin. Tonight was going to end messily. 

“Hey there’s Bravo team” Natasha grabbed my arm and started to pull me away. She shot a terrifying smile over her shoulder. “I’m going to flirt with Sam and enjoy all the shades of red he goes.”

Messy might be a slight understatement. But, I let myself be dragged along by Natasha. I openly enjoyed her teasing and flirting with Sam. It made things almost feel normal again. Almost. The look on Sam’s face was absolutely priceless as we both walked up to the group of guys. It wasn’t hard at all to get another 2 shots paid for out of them. Sam wasn’t the only one who couldn't keep their eyes off Natasha. After a few shots I began to question my own sexuality by staring a bit longer than necessary. 

Natasha and I bounced from group to group throughout the night. I hadn’t paid for a drink the entire night. I had backed off the shots and stuck to scotch after Sam had brought us one. I was already light headed and most definitely feeling the effects of the shots. Clint was the worst of us though. Being the birthday boy meant a lot of drinks being brought for him. Clint was downing each one of them quickly as well. He was getting very drunk. I could see him have to be carried out of the club by the end of the night if he kept this pace up. Not that he would be the only one. A lot of the guys were very drunk. 

It was a little after midnight when I realised I’d barely seen Jared for the last few hours. I’d catch glimpses of him near Clint occasionally but he was mostly absent. In my mostly drunken state I decided to find him once I’d finished my scotch. I found him on the ground floor, which was the quietest, in the corner frowning at his phone.

“You’re missing the party,” I was a bit slurry as I announced my presence. Jared grunted but didn’t look up from his phone. A heavy scowl marred his handsome face. It only softened slightly when I slipped my arm around his waist and gave him an awkward hug. 

“Sorry,” Jared held up the phone. “Work.”

“Its Saturday night and Barton’s birthday,” I pouted at Jared. I unwrapped myself from him and gave his arm an impatient tug. “Stop being boring. Being the boring one is my job, come and drink with us.”

Jared laughed while shaking his head at me. He pulled his arm away from my grip and gave me an apologetic smile. Even in my drunken state I could see how tight his expression really was. Something was bothering him.

“5 minutes, I promise.”

“Please?” I drew out the word over a few syllables and pouted again. “I’m empty.”

I held up my empty glass just for show. If nothing else I wanted Jared to have a little more of a genuine smile on his face. He really had been a grouch since he came home. I’d hoped tonight might have cheered him up from whatever was bugging him.

“Then go and use your very attractive face and body to get a refill,” Jared chuckled. “Or go kiss Natasha and she might even buy you a drink.”

Jared’s phone started vibrating in his hand. Swearing in a language I didn’t know, Jared pushed himself away from the wall, rapidly walking away. I didn’t need to be told I wasn’t going to be welcome in listening to whatever that phone call was. I just pouted at his fast retreating back and turned on my heel. At least Jared couldn’t call me a stick in the mud now. 

I made my way back up the stairs and to where I’d seen Natasha last. As soon as my boot hit the top step, I had an armful of redhead and hard muscles slam into me. I nearly toppled back down the stairs as Natasha clung to me.

“Hi honey, so glad you’re here,” Natasha’s smile lit up her entire face. The mischievous sparkle in her eye made my stomach churn with sudden nerves. If I was sober I might have been able to work out what was going on. But I was definitely not sober. Natasha grabbed the front of my dress and yanked me down to her height, pressing her lips against mine. 

I froze at the casual light kiss. Natasha lingered long enough that I could taste the shots we’d been drinking on her. But not too long that it’d look really inappropriate. It took me a few seconds of blinking stupidly before I came back to my senses. 

“Come on, you need to catch up,” Natasha pulled away and slung her arm through mine. She snuggled in close to me like she hadn’t seen me in weeks. “Its been a long night without you.”

Natasha pulled me back to the bar, not before she sent an apologetic smile to someone over her shoulder. But as soon as she was facing me again, she rolled her eyes and pulled a bored expression.

“Bunch of idiots trying to get in my pants over there,” Natasha barely inclined her head to the left of her. “Told her my girlfriend was coming and she was a jealous type who could kick their ass. I didn’t want to be the one getting arrested tonight and ruining Clint’s birthday.”

I burst into hysterical giggles at Natasha’s explanation. Of all the things to come out of her mouth, I wasn’t expecting something like that. But at least we were good enough friends that I really didn’t mind playing her lesbian lover. I’m sure a lot of people assumed it when we were out in public anyway. It was nothing for us to be walking arm in arm down the street.

When we got back to where Clint was sitting, there were a lot of eyes on us. As I sat on the chair, Natasha crawling into my lap a second later, Sam spoke up.

“If I give you 50 bucks can we see that again with tongue?” Sam’s slurring was worse than mine. He looked like he was barely able to sit upright. 

“I’m not sure if I’m disgusted or turned on by that little display,” Clint was way worse than when I left him. It was a good thing there were plenty of muscly guys around because there was no way I was dragging his heavy ass down the stairs. “I think it may be a little of both.”

“I’m turned on,” Sam grinned goofily at us. “Very turned on. If I get you two more shots can we see that again?”

“Of course,” Natasha smiled sweetly. “Off you go.”

Sam jumped up from the chair he was sitting on. In his drunken haste he managed to tangled himself up with his own feet and hit the floor with a loud bang. 

“I’m still good,” Sam shouted over the music, springing back to his feet. His drunkenly stumble back to the bar.

“If I give you this very nice glass of 15 year old scotch can I see it again too?” Clint’s grin was cat who are the canary proud. “I’ve decided that I’m more turned on than disgusted.”

“And what do I get Barton?” Natasha pouted heavily at him. “I’m not drinking that shit.”

I snorted but snatched the glass away from Clint. Natasha really had no taste. Typical Russian and always wanting vodka. She just never appreciated a good glass of scotch.

“Nothing,” Clint laughed. “I’m the birthday boy and if I want my 2 hot female friends to kiss I should be able to get it.”

“Where’s Jared?” Natasha abruptly changed the subject. She wiggled around in my lap, turning to look around the room. The pout on her face was cute. But the flash of annoyance I didn’t expect. I was sure she knew why Jared was in such a shitty mood, but wouldn’t tell. 

“Something to do with work,” I took a sip of the scotch Clint had given me. The amber liquor swirled around in my mouth before going down far too easily. Whoever got it for Clint had really good taste in scotch. It was one of the nicest ones I’d ever tasted. Or maybe that was just the rest of the liquor talking. 

“Hey give that back if you two aren’t making out,” Clint tried to snatch the glass from me. In his drunken state he moved far too slow. I laughed as I moved just out of reach and threw the rest of the glass down. It was a sin to drink a good scotch like that, but there was no way I was giving it back to Clint.

“Too slow Hawk,” I giggled.

“You suck,” Clint grumbled and picked up one of the many glasses in front of him and shoved it in my face. “Drink this and both of you come dance with me.”

Natasha snatched up one of the random glasses in front of Clint, throwing it back in one easy motion. She scrunched her face up in disgust as she jumped down off my lap. I only managed to down my drink before she was dragging me along onto the dance floor. Clint was only a few seconds in joining us. On our way, Sam came back with 4 shots. With my head already spinning, I didn’t object when he pushed one into my hands. 

~~~

I woke up the next morning with a pounding headache and something heavy clinging onto me. It took way too much effort to crack my eyes open and find myself back in my bedroom. Clint was wrapped around me in a freakishly strong and slightly awkward grip. He was spooning me from behind, with his leg thrown over mine, making it near impossible to move. I closed my eyes trying to remember how the hell we ended up like this, I was wearing boxers and a t-shirt and Clint had stripped down to just his jeans. 

Everything after my last shot last night was very hazy. I vaguely remember dancing but anything after that was a blank. I desperately needed to pee and go down myself in a few gallons of water. For the amount I drank last night, I wasn’t feel too terrible besides the headache.

“Hawk,” I grunted trying to shove him off me. “Get off me.”

Clint responded by mumbling something and just tightening his grip on me. His leg closed over mine harder and he buried his head into my shoulder. 

“Oh for fuck sake,” I groaned. I wriggled as much as I could. Even though I barely managed to move much. I kicked Clint as hard as I could with minimal room to move. It only made him grip me harder. I kicked him again and wiggled as hard as I could against his iron grip. 

“Stop wiggling,” Clint’s sleepy voice made my movements stop. “I keep telling you if you put some weight on, I might find it a turn on.”

“Yeah I’m sure your wife would love that,” I rolled my eyes. His grip still hadn’t loosened. “Let me go, I need to pee.”

“Really?” Clint sounded a little more awake all of a sudden. His arm which was been slung along my stomach tightened, pressing right on my bladder. 

“I hate you,” I struggled against him even more. “I swear to god Barton I’m going to piss all over your arm, then rip it off and beat you to death with it. Let me go.”

“You’re no fun,” Clint snickered behind me, but finally released his grip. 

I shot out of the bed before he could change his mind. I wouldn’t put it past Clint to give me the sense of freedom before tackling me and tickling me. I wasn’t too ticklish but he could put enough pressure on the right points to make things a thousand times worse than normal. He’d done it on more than one occasion with our morning workouts. It usually ended up with him getting kicked in the nuts,

I went to the bathroom first. Moving made a small amount of nausea be known, but it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as it should have been. I grabbed some aspirin from the bathroom and wandered in the kitchen for a drink. The sight in the living room made me falter for a second. Coulson was passed out on the couch, snoring lightly. He looked almost comical laying on his back with the pink bunny blanket over him. Where he’d found it was anyone’s guess. Or Jared’s idea of a joke.

Coulson didn’t move as I tiptoed into the kitchen. It was only 0645 so I wasn’t going to stay up. May as well head back to bed and enjoy the sleep in. I pulled out 2 water bottles and went quietly back to the bedroom. Clint was lying on his back, arm thrown over his face looking like he was fast asleep. Even in my slightly hungover state I wasn’t fooled. I grinned mischievously as I froze the water bottle. Then I threw it at him.

It landed with a perfect smack on Clint’s abdomen. The cold made Clint shoot up and spit a few nasty Russian curses at me. I stood in the doorway covering my mouth so my laughing wouldn’t wake up Coulson. 

“Nice payback, I guess I deserved that one,” Clint grumbled, throwing the frozen bottle on the ground. He craned his head to look at the time and wrinkled his nose at seeing the clock. “Nope, fuck it going back to sleep.”

Clint threw the covers back over his head and burrowed down into them. I took my aspirin and finished the bottle of water before climbing back into bed. Clint tried to yank all the blankets away from me as soon as I got comfortable. I’d managed to half wrap myself up, so he didn’t get too much off me.

“You’re such a child,” I snorted. I burrowed under the blankets with a cold shiver. Clint must have fiddled with the air conditioning before we went to bed. It was freezing in the bedroom. I hadn’t noticed it being this cold when I first got up. Then again, I did have Clint wrapped around me. I wouldn’t admit it to him, but it was kind of nice being wrapped up in someones arms. Even if it was Clint attached to those arms. I was missing human contact and physical touch more and more these days. Even to the point where I was actually starting to get some kind of sex drive back. But after having someone as amazing as Riley in bed, going back to sex toys and my own hand just didn’t seem to cut it these days. Not having Riley around was almost becoming bearable, except in those moments. 

“Cold?” Clint pulled me back into his chest. He was warm. Very warm. I didn’t have any problems in snuggling back into him. I was asleep before I knew it. 

I woke up again at a much more acceptable time of 1145. The apartment was still quiet and Clint released his grip on me straight away this time. I yawned and padded out to the kitchen. I desperately wanted coffee and some more water. My headache had settled down to a dull throb and I was more hungry than nauseous now. Coulson was gone from the couch. 

Jared had brought a Keurig when he got home from his mission. I was thoroughly enjoying the range of pods that had come with it. The vanilla coffee was fast becoming a favourite. Just as I flicked it on, the door to Jared’s bedroom slowly opened. 

“Want a coffee Jared?” I called out.

I turned to look at my brother. Only to find Sam standing in the doorway looking at me wide eyed in horror. He was still doing up his pants and looked extremely hungover. On a second glance, the enormous hickey on his neck was very clear. 

“Wow, Sammy I didn’t think you or my brother swung that way,” I covered my surprise with sass. “Unless there’s someone else in there with you?”

“I want a coffee Kari,” Natasha’s voice came from inside Jared’s bedroom. “Pretty please.”

Oh. My. God. Did Sam and Natasha get it on last night? Judging by the scarlet red shade Sam was quickly turning my guess is something good happened. I tried to hide my grin but I failed pretty quickly. How funny that I just busted Sam doing his walk of shame. The way he’d tried to be quiet while opening the door just gave him away. 

“Did you want a coffee Sam?” I managed to ask without bursting out laughing at him. He looked frozen on the spot. His mouth was opening and closing like a fish out of water. This was the ultimate revenge for all the teasing he dished over to me. 

The sound of the front door opening made both our heads whip around to see who was coming in. A second later Coulson appeared, balancing a tray full of coffee and bag of what smelt like bagels. Jared was a step behind him, looking a little worse for wear. Both of them stopped mid conversation to stare at the scene in front of them. Just when I think this couldn’t get any better, those two arrived. 

“Seriously Tasha, a STRIKE guy?” Jared called out. “I thought you had better taste than that.”

Poor Sam. Now he just looked like he wanted to die on the spot. 

“I’m leaving,” Sam mumbled under his breath. Without looking any of us in the eye, he slipped out of the apartment. 4 pairs of eyes watched in, in ever growing amusement until the front door opened and shut again. A few seconds later we all burst out laughing. Coulson included.

“Oh that was too good not to let Evans know,” Coulson put the tray of coffee’s down and grabbed out his phone. “Coffee and bagels for everyone. You’re welcome.”

“You’re awfully chipper this morning,” I pounced straight for the coffee. There was one with my name written on the lid making me smile. Coulson was the best handler in the world. He always remembered that I like vanilla in my coffee. 

“Drunk Phil always makes sure sober Phil doesn’t regret his drinking the next morning,” Clint called from the bedroom. “And everyone around him.”

“Well I’ll thank drunk Coulson next time I see him,” I took a long drink of the coffee. It was from the awesome cafe just down the road. They did the best coffee I’d ever had in my life. I dug around the bag to see what bagels Coulson had brought. As predicted, there was a creme cheese and salmon one for me. 

“You better be changing my sheets,” Jared didn’t sound very happy. It made me glance up from my bagel hunting to see Natasha walking out of his room. In a pair of Jared’s tight boxers and one of his Academy shirts that had seen better days. She just gave Jared an innocent smile before picking up her own coffee. I pushed the bagel bag over towards her. Before she could touch it, Jared snatched it out of her reach.

“If you didn’t decide to work most of the night I wouldn’t have had to take Sam,” Natasha didn’t miss a beat. Her declaration made me snort the coffee out of my nose in surprise. I looked between them with a growing horror while I hastily grabbed a napkin to wipe up the mess I just made. Oh hell no. Natasha and Clint had both reassured me multiple times that there wasn’t anything going on between Natasha and Jared. I’d had my doubts despite those reassurances. Sometimes those two were just a little too close to be called friendly.

“I keep telling you Tasha, the day I’m feeling suicidal is the day I climb between those thighs,” Jared said around a mouthful of bagel. 

I groaned at Jared’s terrible joke, and in relief as well. I don’t think I’d ever be able to handle those two sleeping together. 

“Shame,” Natasha purred at him with her deadly smile. “Sam didn’t seem to mind.”

“And now we have something to tease him about for the next few years,” Clint finally wandered out from my bedroom. “I feel surpassingly human. Thanks Coulson.”

“Taco Bell, banana milkshakes and so much Gatorade we had to stop for Kari to pee 7 times on the way home,” Coulson gave me an amused smirk. I really didn’t remember that. “Works every time.”

We really needed drunk Coulson around a lot more when we went on drinking binges. 

~~

Monday morning rolled around. After a lazy day on Sunday with us doing nothing but eating junk food and lounging around Clint’s place, it was hard to get motivated to come to work. Especially with me waking up with a major headache. I was nearly tempted to ask Jared to teleport me to work. But his door was closed and at the early hour I left, he probably wouldn’t be too happy about the interruption. 

My head hurt. So badly. Considering my lack of a hangover yesterday this must have been payback for it. Riding my Kawasaki to work had been a new level of torture. I really, really should have gotten Jared to drop me off. Even the multiple painkillers I’d knocked back had barely touched the sides. I probably should have just stayed home. But the promise of a day on the range with nothing but my AWSM and lots of targets was too tempting to pass up. It’d been too long since I’d been able to spend a few uninterrupted hours at the range. 

I took another 2 aspirin as soon as I hit my locker. I closed my eyes, leaning my forehead on the top shelf of my locker willing my pounding head to stop. Even if it was just for a couple of hours. It was starting to make me feel nauseous. 

“Wow you look fucking terrible again,” Natasha’s voice made me crack one eye open. She was leaning against Clint’s locker, her face full of concern as she looked at me. “Why are you even here?”

Thanks Natasha. You always know what to say to make me feel so much better.

“It’s just a headache,” the excuse sounded weak, even to me. I couldn’t muster enough energy to be sarcastic or snarky with her. “It’ll go away soon.”

“Yeah no,” Natasha furrowed her brow while staring at me. “Lets go to medical and get that checked out. You’re worse than Barton with keeping yourself in one piece.”

“Its fine Nat,” I protested. “It’s just…”

I didn’t get a chance to finish. A pain so blindingly sharp smashed into my ribs. It just came from nowhere. I couldn’t even give out a cry of pain as I crumpled to the ground clutching at my side trying to get my breath. I barely heard Natasha’s panicked call of my name, nor the heavy footsteps that came running over. It was like something else had taken over my body. I was seeing something that definitely wasn’t in the STRIKE locker room. A quick glance down saw this wasn’t my body either.

My entire body throbbed in agony. My throat was dry and my stomach was so coiled with stress I didn’t think I’d ever be able to swallow. Leaning in front of me was a blonde hair women with a cool look of indifference on her face.

“Shame,” she purred in Russian. “This one is pretty. He’d make a nice pet.”

“Go fuck yourself Yelana,” Jared’s strained voice came out. Pain flared through my entire body just trying to get the words out. “Fuck you and all you cunts from the Red Room.”

And it was gone as quickly as it came on. I flailed around, gasping for air as I sat up. Suddenly I was back on the floor of the locker room.

“Whoa, whoa it’s ok,” Clint’s voice reached me first. I felt his hand around my arm. “Breathe, relax.”

I scrunched up my face and rubbed my eyes hard. My headache was slowly disappearing and whatever pain had hit me before was long gone. I felt wildly disorientated from whatever just happened. That had never, ever happened before in our entire lives. Emotions yes, but I’d never been able to see what was happening to Jared. What the hell was he doing?

“We’ve got medics on the way,” Clint sounded calm and reassuring. “What hurts?”

“Jared,” a wad of bile rose in my throat which I hastily swallowed down. “It’s not me, it’s Jared.”

I could finally open my eyes, although everything was still blurred. Clint was crouching down in front of me. He looked pale and his face pinched with worry. Natasha was standing next to him. I didn’t miss the brief clench of her hand on his shoulder, her knuckles turning white for the briefest moment. A circle of other guys were crowded around me looking on in concern.

“Someone get Coulson right now,” Clint’s voice was firm but I knew him well enough to detect a slight hitch of emotion. “Can you get up?”

“Think so,” I blinked a few times in the light trying to refocus some more. Clint offered his hand which I gratefully took as he pulled me up. I was shaking all over from the last bits of adrenaline I didn’t even realise was surging through my body. I only managed a step before my legs collapsed out from underneath me. I didn’t hit the floor. Clint grabbed me before my shin could even touch the ground. 

“Easy,” Clint lowered me back to the ground gently. “Just wait another minute.”

The headache was coming back now. I winced and buried my face into my hands, squeezing my eyes tightly shut to try and ward off the pain. None of this made any sense. Jared had been home last night. From what he’s said over dinner he was enjoying a week off. He was meant to be heading to New York to see Mom and Dad as of this morning. I was in bed and asleep by 2100. He could have left at anytime. With his powers there wasn’t a corner of the Earth he couldn’t reach.

“Pick up your fucking phone Jared,” Natasha whispered words reached my ears. I’d never heard her sound so worried in all the months I’d known her. I blearily lifted my head from my hands to see her fingers flying over the screen of her phone. No doubt trying to do a trace on his location. Her face was pale and her eyes wide as she stared at the screen. Her fingers suddenly stopped, hovering above the phone.

“What did you see?” Natasha glanced up to me. She was speaking in clipped Russian, almost like she didn’t realise she’d actually slipped back into her native tongue.

“A blonde woman. Jared called her Yelana, like he knew who it was,” I rubbed my eyes again trying to focus some more. I just needed my head to stop hurting. “Who’s Yelana?”

I didn’t think Natasha’s face could get any paler. All colour drained from it and she stared at me, wide eyed and open mouthed in horror. Without a word she ran from the room, deaf to Clint calling after her.

“Fuck this isn’t happening,” Clint had gone pale himself. “Did you see anything else?”

I shook my head. All I’d seen is that blonde woman. There had been nothing else. No details, no clues to anything expect my brother was being tortured by a blonde haired woman with a cold stare. My stomach knotted uncomfortably and I felt like I was going to be sick. I quickly clamped my hand over my mouth as my stomach heaved. There was nothing in my stomach except for a few aspirin to throw up. And there was no way I was throwing up with everyone still standing there watching the commotion going on. 

In one fast motion Clint yanked me up into his arms and carried me into the bathroom. In those few hurried steps my stomach began to protest heavily and he dropped me at the toilet just in time. My stomach recoiled and I threw up the few aspirin and all the water I’d chugged down this morning trying to relieve the headache. I rested my head on the toilet bowel waiting for it to pass. My stomach was still a massive knot of nerves and anxiety and I didn’t trust myself to push away from the toilet just yet. 

“You’re ok,” Clint rubbed my back in gentle circles. “Just breathe.”

I might be ok, but I knew Jared wasn’t. Whatever was being done to him right now was making him lose any kind of self control he had. It hurt, whatever had been done to him hurt so badly.

“Who’s Yelana?” I tried again. If I couldn’t get an answer from Natasha then Clint might tell me. By the way Clint’s hands stilled on my back I knew I wasn’t going to like the answer.

“She trained in the Red Room with Natasha,” Clint’s honestly was appreciated. “Natasha has been trying to kill her for years.”

“What does Jared have to do with that?”

Clint was silent behind me for what felt like the longest time. He heaved a huge sigh before he started to speak again.

“Jared and Natasha had a run in with her not long before you joined SHIELD,” Clint kept rubbing circles on my back as if it was distracting him. “They got lured into a trap trying to take down what was left of the Red Room. There’s not much left but what there is, well it’s deadly.”

I sat back so I could see Clint’s face. He looked as stressed as I was feeling. His fists were clenched so tightly, his knuckles had gone as white as his face. He looked like he was having a hard time keeping his breathing even. 

“Yelana is very clever and slippery. She tortured Natasha in front of Jared and didn’t touch him. They just escaped by the skin of their teeth,” Clint shook his head. “Jared swore he’d kill the bitch and tear every piece of the Red Room down with him. My guess is Yelana got bored and enticed him to come after her.”

“How the hell did Jared get permission to do that?” I said hoarsely. Jared had a lot more leeway with his work than we did. But I couldn’t see him being allowed to do something like this. Fury must have been stoned to let Jared go off on a mission like this by himself. 

“I don’t think he did,” Clint’s very quiet words made my stomach drop. If I hadn’t already thrown up everything in it, I would have been over the toilet bowl again. I remembered back to all those months ago after my first day at SHIELD when I’d been horrified to read what SHIELD did to its rouge agents. If Jared had gone off by himself this was about to get messy. I might just kill him myself for being so fucking stupid.

“Somebody grab Romanoff and force her into my office,” Coulson’s voice could be heard clearly in the bathroom. Clint and I both swivelled our heads towards the doorway. Coulson appeared only a few seconds later. 

“Can you get up?” Coulson wasn’t messing around. His face was set in a deadly serious expression. This really wasn’t good.

“Yep,” whether I could or not wasn’t going to stop me. With Clint supporting me I got to my feet and thankfully stayed on them this time. My body swayed back and forth unsteadily. 

“What did Jared tell you last night?” Coulson asked straight away. He stood there with his arms crossed, gaze boring into me. Even if I knew what Jared was doing last night, there would be no way I’d lie to Coulson about this.

“Nothing,” I forced my voice to stay steady. My eyes started to burn like I was about to start crying. I chewed on my lip, hard, before I could continue. “He said he was going to see our parents during the week.”

The headache hit me again, hard enough to slam my eyes shut and press the heel of my palm into them. God it hurt. It felt like I’d just been punched in the head full force. Whoever was doing it was a good hitter too. It was hard enough to hurt like hell, but not enough to knock someone out. Natasha was good at these punches. It was enough to knock you on your ass with perfect timing and aim. No doubt Yelana could do the exact same thing. 

More footsteps came into the bathroom along with a lot of voices. My head was hurting too much to focus on what was being said. Clint hands which was still on my arm guided me into my legs hit something. I managed to crack one eye open to see the stretcher in front of me. I didn’t need to be told twice. I flopped down on it, face first and yanked a pillow over my head to block out the noise. 

I barely felt a needle slide into my arm and get injected with what I hoped to be some potent painkiller. If it was even going to work. The feeling of the stretcher being moved with my eyes shut was enough to make me feel queasy again. But the painkillers did kick in, and fast. By the time we made it to medical, I’d relinquished the pillow over my head. I still had my face buried in the mattress though.

“Kari, talk to you Mom please,” Coulson wedged the phone to my ear before I could protest. I shifted my arm so I could hold the phone properly.

“Did Jared tell you anything?” Mom didn’t waste time. She sounded unusually calm and very focused right now. Almost too calm. 

“No, Mom I swear he didn’t say anything,” I pushed myself up half an inch and experimented with having my eyes open. It didn’t hurt like last time, so I wriggled back up into a sitting position. Bad idea. My head started to spin at the sudden movement. I was forced to close my eyes again just so I didn’t fall off to bed in my dizziness. In my brief glance around the room, I was alone for now. “He was on the phone on Saturday night saying it was to do with work and nothing else.”

I could almost feel the worry pouring off Mom right now. I didn’t need to have her powers to know what I just told her was a very bad thing. 

“He’s still alive,” I rubbed my eyes before opening them again. “Mom I can feel almost everything being done to him. I saw…”

My voice trailed off as the words got stuck in my throat. Bad really didn’t describe this situation right now. A fucking nightmare sounded like a much better use of words. I only hoped Jared actually had permission to go off and do this. If he did at least we could be in a Quinjet within 10 minutes to go find him and drag his stupid ass home. If he didn’t have clearance, I had a very small inkling of a plan on how to go and get him. It was a stupid plan, but at least it was something. I had a very bad feeling that this definitely wasn’t a mission Jared was sent on.

“I know, Phil told me,” Mom sounded like she was tapping on a keyboard in the background. “Kari, promise me you won’t do anything stupid right now.”

“I won’t,” I said as sincerely as I could make my voice. It wouldn’t surprise me if Mom saw right through my lie.

“I mean it,” Mom’s voice shook this time. “If Jared’s gone off book for this one, its…”

Mom trailed off. By her breathing on the other end of the phone it sounded like she was struggling to keep her emotions in check. In return I felt my own throat tighten. The conversation Mom had with Lynette while I was still waking up echoed through my mind. Mom had said then she had no idea what she’d do if she lost one of us. I had no idea what I’d do if I lost Jared. I’d only just started functioning properly on a daily basis without Riley. Without my own twin, I don’t think I’d ever be able to get over that.

“I won’t do anything stupid,” I said again. 

Stupid could cover a lot of things. In my mind, I wouldn’t call going after Jared stupid. Professional suicide maybe. But not stupid. 

“Just, call us when you hear something,” Mom blew out a very shaky breath. “Please, please be careful.”

“I will,” at least that wasn’t a lie. As soon as I knew what was happening Mom would know about it. Either by me ringing her or she would be getting a phone call from Coulson saying I’d disappeared too.

That also sounded very vaguely like permission to do what I needed to do. I hung up before I said anything that would give me away. The less anyone knew the better. As I hung up, Clint and Natasha both came into the room. Natasha was red faced and looked ready to murder someone. In the brief time she’d left my side, she changed into her standard catsuit and was already armed. She came straight to me, pulling me into a tight hug. Clint sat beside me and hugged both of us. I closed my eyes and forced myself to stay calm. Tears wouldn’t help me now. I had to focus on the tiny plan I had forming in my head. It wasn’t much, but it was the only thing I could think of.

“We’ll get him back,” Natasha whispered in my ear as she clung to me so hard I’d have bruises tomorrow. “I swear Kari, I won’t rest until that bitch is dead and Jared comes home.”

“Coulson is coming,” Clint murmured quietly. 

The three of us untangled, perched on the edge of the bed waiting for news. Coulson got one step away from the door before hesitating. It seemed to take an eternity before he swung the door open. His phone was in his hand, his index finger absently tapping on the back of it.

“I’ve spoken to Fury and Agent Hand,” Coulson started.

“Who’s Agent Hand?” I cut in. I mentally smacked myself for the interruption. Why did I have to ask such stupid and unimportant questions at the worst times?

“She runs The Hub,” Coulson looked mildly relieved at my interruption. Like what he was about to say was going to be hard. My heart sank even further at the look on his face. “It’s where all the back-end of ops is carried out.”

I knew what The Hub was. I just hadn't been there before. Being based out of the Triskelion meant there was no need for us to ever go there. 

“She has no record of Jared being sent on a mission,” Coulson looked between the three of us with pity and worry all over his face. “Neither does Fury. Jared went off by himself.”

The tiny sliver of hope that I had crashed down on me. Hearing those words were a slap in the face, even though I was expecting it. The rational part of my brain knew it already. But it still hurt like hell hearing the words.

“He has 72 hours to come back,” Coulson turned his gaze to me. “If he isn’t back in 72 hours, SHIELD will have considered him to have gone rogue.”

Coulson’s eyes flicked over to Natasha. He had to stop and take a deep breath before spitting out the last part of what he had to say.

“And SHIELD will send someone to eliminate him,” Coulson rushed out the last part. He looked back to me with raw grief all over his face. It was unlike the look he gave me back at Camp Cooke just after Riley died. “Kari I’m so sorry. There’s nothing we can do.”

“But Phil,” I felt breathless, like the words had knocked everything out of me. “Surely you can send a team in?”

“This isn’t official SHIELD business,” Coulson shook his head. “Even if it was and they were holding Jared for ransom. SHIELD doesn’t negotiate. Kari, he knows that. Even going off now Jared would have know the consequences of his actions. There is no rescue plan for him. All we can do is hope he gets himself out of trouble and gets his ass back here in 72 hours.”

72 hours. 3 entire days. The way Coulson kept saying it sounded like he was stressing that number. I glanced to Natasha and Clint in my peripheral vision. Both of them were looking at me as well. Natasha casually put her arm around my waist and pulled me in closer to her. Clint draped his arm over my shoulder. I knew my friends well enough that I had their support in what was about to come next. I was going to need it. 

“If you go after him, you know how SHIELD treats its rogue agents,” Coulson looked between the 3 of us sharply. “In fact, I forbid it. I have no problem placing you three under house arrest if I have to.”

Though his words were harsh, there was a tone in his voice that was sounding vaguely like we should take this on as a dare. It might have been my mind grasping at straws. But from the glint that appeared in Natasha’s eyes, maybe it wasn’t such a crazy idea after all. Forbidding Natasha or Clint to do anything was a sure way to get them to go and do exactly what they’d been told not to do.

“Go home,” Coulson opened the door to the medical bay. “And I swear to god if the three of you aren’t at your respective apartments when I check on you later on, there will be hell to pay. Kari, leave your bike here.”

“Okay,” I said in a very small voice. I jumped down off the bed, with Clint and Natasha still attached to me. I couldn’t even look Coulson in the face as I walked out the door. I felt like I was about to give everything away. The pieces of my plan were starting to fall into place quicker and quicker. At least I knew where I had to go as soon as we left here. 

“I mean it guys,” Coulson’s voice made us all turn around to face him. “Don’t go after him. If you do SHIELD won’t help or protect you. Neither can I.”

“We understand Coulson,” Clint nodded in understanding. He tightened his arm around my shoulders briefly before speaking again. “We’ll get Kari home and make sure she stays there.”

Coulson’s fingers tapped out something very quickly. It was so quick that I almost missed it. Clint had started to teach me some very basic sign language, but we’d been slack about it lately. It wasn’t sticking in my head very well. Clint gave him the smallest of nods. If you weren’t looking close, you would easily miss it. Nothing else was said as we all turned around and walked out of medical.

The walk to the garage was agonisingly slow. None of us spoke on the way down there. Natasha slipped into Clint’s car with us, leaving her Corvette here as well. It was until we were well clear of the Triskelion, I finally found my voice.

“What did Coulson sign?” I asked.

“He told us to be careful,” Clint glanced back to me with a small smile on his face. Instant relief broke over me. I had actually read the situation correctly. “Do you have a plan?”

“Yes I do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm excited to get to this part of the story. I've had it planned out for a while now. Heres hoping you guys feel the same!
> 
> Enjoy.


	44. Chapter 44

“Phone.”

Natasha clicked her fingers the second we walked into my apartment. I handed mine over straight away, Clint a second after me, his hearing aids came out of his ears as well. I stared at the tiny devices in his hands.

“They can be tracked,” Clint explained, his voice a little louder than normal. “It's a nightmare to do, but your Dad has it as a failsafe because I kept doing stupid shit.”

“Like what we’re about to do,” nerves suddenly hit me. Crazy didn’t quite cover what was about to happen. I looked between Natasha and Clint. “You guys don’t have to come with me. Just tell me what to do so I don’t get caught.”

“Yeah right,” Clint laughed shortly. “I can’t wait to tease him for being a damsel in distress for the rest of his life.”

I looked to Natasha. She was still dressed and armed. Coulson hadn’t made any move to take weapons off her. Not that Coulson would ever get them all off her. Natasha was the ultimate Tetris player. I was constantly amazed at how many weapons she could fit under that skin tight suit.

“Please, like you have to ask,” Natasha snorted. “He’s our friend too. He’d do the same for us.”

Natasha threw Clint’s and my phone on the coffee table. She motioned for me to follow her into Jared’s bedroom. It looked like a dirty clothes bomb had hit it, as usual. Jared’s bed was a crumpled mess. It was like any ordinary day. Nothing out of the normal. It was a little surreal. Natasha walked to his closet, flinging the doors open and started tapping her foot along the bottom of it.

“What are you…” my question was cut off by a dull thunk. Peering into the closet further a piece of the floor had come up, revealing a hidden compartment.

Cheesy, Jared. Very cheesy and cliched for a spy to have a hidden compartment in your wardrobe. Natasha bent down and pulled out 2 bags. She unzipped the first one, then tossed it to me a second later. I caught it and peer down into the contents. What I saw made my drop the bag in surprise.

The bag was packed with tightly wadded up money in a few different currencies. On top of the money were several passports. The passports were held together with a rubber band. I pulled the EU passport out that was on top, and opened it. Out fell a French drivers license with my photo on it. I picked it up and stared at the piece of plastic. I had a different name and birthday, but it was definitely me. Along with the drivers license sat 2 credit cards in the same name.

“We all have go to bags like this,” Natasha explained before I could ask. “Enough cash and ID to get out of the country undetected if we need to.”

“Is that money real?” 

I couldn’t help but gape at the open bag. There was a lot of money in there. More money than I’d ever seen in my life. Where the hell had it all come from?

“Yep,” Natasha opened the other bag and rummaged through it. She pulled out several wads of money along with the first passport on top of the pile. “A lot of it is from Clint’s time before SHIELD. We just divided it up between us to keep it hidden. Not even Coulson or Laura know about it.”

It was easy to forget that Clint was already an assassin long before he joined SHIELD. When I was 16 I was worrying about good grades. When Clint was 16, he was a wanted fugitive and very skilled killer. Though why he put this money aside, and not used it for his wife and kids was a bit of a mystery. I didn’t have time to puzzle over it. Natasha threw the money into the bag with my fake IDs in it. I couldn’t stop staring at it.

“Jared made sure there was a bag for you, even before you were SHIELD,” Natasha gave me a wavering smile. “When we became friends he showed Clint and I where he’d stashed a few of them.”

“A few of them?” I frowned. How much damn money where there stashed over this country with fake ID?

“He’s a spy Kari,” Natasha shrugged looking unapologetic. “He’s naturally suspicious and careful. This entire apartment has a failsafe on it, so if needed he can blow it to hell without damaging the rest of the building to get rid of any evidence of him being here.”

Holy shit. I couldn’t think of anything to say to that. Jared had never told me about any of this. But I wasn’t too surprised. Jared took his role of big brother fairly seriously and always tried to keep me shielded from the nitty gritty parts of his world. Even now as a fully fledged agent I barely knew what Jared actually did for his job. All I knew of was his reputation at work and he could hold his own against Natasha on the rare occasion he sparred with us. 

“Riley had one too,” Natasha’s next words knocked the breath out of me. It was such a casual reference to Riley, something I hadn’t heard in a long time. Just having someone say his name out of the blue was a surprise. “He told Clint where it was, just in case. Laura has bags packed for her and the kids if ever needed. Coulson as well. We always plan for the worse case scenario.”

This was definitely looking like it qualified at one of those scenarios.

“So where are we going?” Natasha asked. The question made me refocus back into the game. I needed to be here, right now. Not thinking about Riley or why my friends had a lot of very illegal cash and fake documents all set up ready to disappear off the Earth.

“Upstate New York, North Salem to be exact,” I bit my lip. This is where the small plan I had could all fall apart. Just because we were going there, didn’t mean I’d get the help I wanted. “To our old school.”

“Smart move,” Natasha nodded. “So I’m guessing Cerebro isn’t just a myth.”

I nearly sagged in relief as Natasha caught onto my plan straight away. 

“Nope it’s very real,” I sighed quietly. “But that doesn’t mean the Professor will help us.”

“It’s a good start though,” Natasha reached over and gave me a hug. It was a nice feeling. Natasha’s hugs were so rare. I felt a lot stronger after the brief hug. “Come on, lets get moving before someone finds us.”

I nodded and picked up the bag, zipping it up as we walked out the door. Coulson would give us as much time as he humanely could. But I’d put good money on no one else in SHIELD trusting us. Clint was on my laptop reading something. He had over the ear hearing aids on which he was rubbing uncomfortably.

“Found a car, only 2 blocks away to grab,” Clint didn’t look up from what he was doing. “Where are we heading Kari?”

“Upstate New York,” Natasha and I said together.

“Why?” Clint looked up from the screen frowning at us. 

“My old school,” I explained. “Cerebro isn’t a myth. Professor might help us, or he might not. But I don’t know where else to start.”

“Works for me,” Clint slammed the laptop shut. I winced at how much force he put behind it. If he broke it, he was buying me a new one. “Natasha, at least throw something on over your work clothes. In broad daylight you look like a dominatrix.”

“Right,” Natasha glanced down as if seeing herself for the first time. “I’m stealing some clothes.”

Like she actually had to announce that. Natasha and I swapped clothes enough that I didn’t really know what was mine or hers anymore. There were only a few things that were off limits to each other. Natasha quickly went into my room, half closing the door behind her. 

“How you holding up?” Clint asked.

“I’m eerily calm,” I fell onto the couch with a heavy sigh. The go to bag dropped to the ground with a heavy thump. “I just want to get going and find him.”

I massaged my temples, closing my eyes. The headache from before was starting to niggle at my forehead yet again. But other than that, I just wanted to focus on getting Jared home alive and in one piece. If I couldn’t do that, we could all be dead in a few hours. It was an uneasy thought. 

“We’re going,” Clint sat down next to me and pulled me into a tight hug. “Just focus on the next step for now. We’re going to bring him home.”

“Did you ring Laura?” I hugged Clint back. I really hoped Laura wouldn’t be too mad at me dragging her husband away. It was Cooper’s birthday in 2 days time. Clint had jokingly said a few days ago that this year would be the first time he’d actually be home for Cooper’s birthday. I just hoped we’d be able to get back in time for it.

“No,” Clint shook his head. “The less anyone knows the better. She’ll understand.”

“You don’t have to do this,” I felt my stomach churn again. This time it was from Clint’s words. It was always on my mind that out of all of us he had the most to lose. While Laura was incredible about Clint having to leave on extended periods for work, I wasn’t sure how she’d take him going off grid to help me. 

“You aren't leaving me out of this,” Clint chuckled, though it was strained. He tightened his hold on me momentarily. “We’ll get him back Kari. Just take this one step at a time. Car and then upstate New York. Pick out what ID you want to use.”

Clint let go of me, tapping the bag at my feet with his foot. My gaze dropped down to see a similar bag sitting at Clint’s feet as well as the one Natasha gave me. A passport, drivers license and 2 different American Express credit cards were sitting on top of his. I did as I was told, reaching in and grabbing the first American passport in the bag. I flicked it open to see the photo used on my old Air Force ID staring back at me. Gone was Kari Anastasia Lyngley. According to this passport I was now Kaitlyn Anna Litterford. At least the initials were right, it wouldn’t be hard to remember. 

“Lets go,” Natasha walked out of my room. My eyes dragged up to meet hers. She’d thrown jeans and a light long sleeve shirt over the top of her jumpsuit. I could still see the edges of it peeking out from underneath the sleeves of the shirt. I’d seen Natasha be a lot of things. Playful, terrifying, cold to name a few. But I’d never, ever seen her look so worried like she was now.

“Going,” Clint echoed the statement of how much we needed to get moving. 

It didn’t take long for us to stuff what we needed into one bag. It felt so odd seeing Clint walking around with an old gym bag that was full of money. I almost felt like we were running from a bank robbery. It was so cliched it was almost laughable. Natasha and I hung back out of sight while Clint went and brought the car he’d found. Natasha muttered under her breath about how much easier it would have been to steal something from a long term parking lot. I began to agree with her after 20 minutes of Clint standing there talking to the gentleman he was buying the car off. It seems we’d made the car sellers day by showing up with cash and driving away with it.

The car Clint found for us was older, but serviceable and most importantly didn’t stand out. The grey Camry melted into the mid morning DC traffic without a second glance. It didn’t stop any of us glancing over our shoulders every 5 seconds. Any time a black SUV went past, we’d all sink down into the seats a little lower until we were sure it wasn’t looking for us. Thankfully the car had come with a full tank of gas, so we didn’t need to make any pit stops on the way. The 5 hour car trip left me in a knot of tension by the time we were pulling into the small road that lead to the school. A few directions later and we were on the gravel driveway leading down the expansive estate. The huge grey building came up far too quickly for me to make any sort of a plan to put into place. Not that it would have helped. In the 5 hours I still had no idea what to do when we got here. Begging seemed to be about the only option I could think of.

“Do you want us to wait outside?” Natasha asked. 

“No, just…” I scratched the side of my head trying to find the right words to say. “Come in, just mind the craziness that comes with it.”

It was 1533. School hadn’t long been out for those people who didn’t board. The grounds were fairly quiet, as was normal for early afternoon. Inside would be quiet as well. This time of afternoon was always set aside for study.

“Do you have a plan?” Clint asked. He looked at me in the rearview mirror looking tired. He’d refused both Natasha and I to drive, insisting he was fine. We hadn’t even stopped for coffee, mostly for fear of getting spotted. 

“Nope, I…” I started before trailing off. As I started speaking, the front door of the mansion opened. Out came a very familiar wheelchair with a bald man in a suit. Professor Xavier didn’t look like he’d aged a day since last time I saw him about 8 years ago. 

“Please come in,” Professor Xavier looked amused at us still sitting in the car. “I’ve been expecting you.”

Of course he had. I fought back my sigh of irritation, more at myself than anything else. I was dealing with one of the most powerful telepaths on the planet. I also had very little doubt that Mom would have phoned ahead long before now. Whether it was to warn him about us arriving, or asking for help. It was a flip of the coin either way.

“Kari, you can come into my office,” Professor Xavier turned around before any of us could reply. “Natasha and Clint, you are both welcome to the kitchen and anywhere else you may need. Ororo will show you around.”

There was never any arguing with the Professor. On tired and cramped legs I managed to stumble my way through the building and into the office. I was ushered through too quickly to say hello to Ororo. I only managed to give her a quick smile. It’d been so many years since I’d been here. But like the Professor himself, nothing much had changed. It was the same mahogany desk in sat across from. I sank into the same well worn leather chairs, though my feet could easily touch the ground now. I was tall enough to slump into it comfortably these days. 

Professor Xavier settled himself in behind the desk. Nothing was said for the longest minute. It felt like an eternity stretched out before he spoke.

“You have certainly grown up since I saw your last,” Professor Xavier gave me a gentle smile. “What an amazing young woman now sitting in front of me. Before you ask, no it wasn’t your Mother who rang me. It was Hazel. I know the full situation.”

“Then even without your powers you know why I’m here,” it wasn’t a question. I had to fight the urge to pick at my nails at the sudden appearance of my nerves. Here is where everything could fall apart very quickly. If Professor Xavier refused to help I had no idea what to do next. Even with Grams’ help this could all be stopped right here.

“I do,” Professor Xavier lent on the desk. His fingers came together to form a steeple in front of him as he watched me. “Tell me Kari, why do you think this is the right thing to do? You’re breaking a lot of rules right now. SHIELD doesn’t take too kindly to its agents disobeying direct orders.”

“No, they don’t,” the headache which had been quiet for the last few hours started to make itself known again. I reached up and rubbed my temples, willing it to stay in control for now. “What else am I supposed to do? Sit back and let my brother be tortured and killed?”

I hadn’t meant for the question to come out so harsh. But I couldn’t help but the bitterness to creep into my voice. After everything I’d been through these last few months, I couldn’t lose Jared as well. I’d only just started moving on in my life from Riley. Even that was more burying my grief than actually dealing with it. If I lost Jared, I don’t think I’d ever recover from that. I don’t think I’d want to recover from that. There was only so many times I could pick up the pieces of my life and put it back together. 

“I never said that,” Professor Xavier said gently. “Jared would know the consequences of his actions. I dare say he wouldn’t want you to get pulled into this mess.”

“Jared doesn’t think of the consequences,” my head started to ache even further. “He never has. He just thinks he’s 10 foot tall and bulletproof. It would have never occurred to him he wouldn’t come out of this unscathed. His arrogance knows no boundaries.”

“So not much has changed over the years,” Professor Xavier gave me a small smile. The smile quickly fell away from his face. “That still doesn’t change that Jared wouldn’t want you to be dragged into a mess he created.”

“Then he shouldn’t do stupid shit,” I scoffed. I rubbed my temples harder, feeling the headache more and more with every passing second. “I’m not leaving him. I’ve lost too much to lose him too. I’m going to do this with or without help.”

For the first time in my life, I felt as strong as the words coming out of my mouth. I wasn’t scared of what was about to come. The only thing making me nervous is if Professor Xavier wouldn’t help. 

“Have you thought about the consequences of your actions?” Professor Xavier asked. 

“Consequences I will gladly take on myself,” I said instantly.

“What about the consequences of you coming here?” 

My bravery wavered at that. I hadn’t thought of anything beyond my own need right now. The school didn’t have the best record with government agencies. Me coming here could very easily bring SHIELD raining down on this place. 

“Yes it could,” Professor Xavier answered what had been in my mind. “Last time we had government officials storm this place, it didn’t end well for anyone involved.”

I was nearly smart and asked which time, but held my tongue. The amusement flicking across Professor’s Xavier face let me know that I didn’t keep that thought to myself either. I was very out of practice at that. 

“Yes Hazel would be most disappointed,” Professor Xavier still looked amused as he watched my face. “Actually, no, I take that back. Your Grandmother is never disappointed in you Kari.”

I felt my cheeks grow warm at the rare praise. 

“She is very proud of the strong and incredibly brave woman you’ve grown into” Professor Xavier continued. “Especially over this last year. You don’t need to come and beg for my help. It’s already given.”

It took me a few seconds to process the last piece of information. Utter relief washed over me as soon as it really sunk in. I closed my eyes briefly and sent a mental thank you to Grams. If it wasn’t for her this might not have gone so well. 

“Once I find Jared, Storm will fly you to where you need to go,” Professor Xavier looked at me as I scrunched my nose up. “You may fly the jet. I believe you’ll find a care package was dropped off not long before you arrived to make your life a little easier.”

“Care package?” I finally found my voice. There were just no words for how grateful I was right now.

“Yes, there may have been something dropped on the doorstep,” Professor Xavier looked so amused as he brought his wheelchair around to me. He reached over and briefly squeezed my hand. “You have so much strength in you. Use that, channel it. You’ve earned everything you have in life by your own will. Never ever forget that. Now head to the kitchen and get something to eat.”

I didn’t even have time to say thank you before Professor Xavier was gone from the room. Just like that, within minutes I had my answer and help. It was surreal. Once this was all over I’d have to really be creative in the ways to thanks Grams for doing this. The headache was gone again, leaving me with a feeling of determination. 

“Hang on Jared, I’m coming,” I closed my eyes and took in a few deep, shuddering breaths. “I’m coming.”

I really hoped with whatever link we had, he could hear me. He must be hurt so badly to not be able to teleport. Or he was being drugged. He told me it took a lot of concentration to do, just like my own powers. Just because it looked easy, didn’t mean it was. I rubbed my eyes, ignoring the stinging sensation in them. Little bits of adrenaline were starting to wear thin. I really needed some coffee and food to keep me going. Professor Xavier could be 5 minutes or 5 hours. Either way I needed to be ready to go. I’d be no good to Jared dead on my feet from exhaustion or lack of food. 

The halls were quiet as I walked through them. Like Professor Xavier himself, not much had changed around here. The kitchen was equally as quiet. I only saw one student duck out and down the hall just as I reached the massive room. The kitchen was always open for when you wanted anything on a serve yourself basis outside of mealtimes. It wasn’t hard to find enough food to fill my stomach. And coffee. After 2 cups of far too strong black coffee, I was ready to go. Just as I was setting my cup in the sink Clint walked into the room.

“Found him,” Clint announced. His lips were pulled in a tight line looking stressed. A second later I spotted a very new looking bow and quiver peeking out from behind his shoulders. Clint had gotten changed into basic tactical gear sometime during my absence. He had a bundle of clothes in his hands.

“Where is he?” I asked. My heart lurched at those 2 words. This was it. We were going to get him.

“Pripyat,” Clint threw the bundles of clothes at me. 

“Sorry?” I dropped the clothes in my surprise. I really hope I’d just heard Clint wrong. There’s no way Jared could be in the Ukraine.

“He’s in Pripyat,” Clint rubbed a hand over his face, muffling his voice slightly. “As in the Ukraine, within the Chernobyl exclusion zone. Middle School 3 to be exact, right near the pool.”

Of course he was. This couldn’t be a simple job where he was only a few miles from somewhere populated. He had to get himself captured within a fucking old abandoned town within a radioactive zone. I picked up my dropped clothes from the floor. Unrolling the bundle revealed a pair of black combat pants, boots and plain black t-shirt. It was basically the same thing Clint was wearing. I still hadn’t gotten my bodysuit like Natasha wore. Not that I really wanted one. It’d look ridiculous on me. 

“The jet it fuelled and waiting for us,” Clint continued. “I’ve already stowed your P30’s and AWSM in there.”

“Where the hell did the weapons come from?” I pulled my old shirt off and quickly replaced it. Clint turned his back as I started to undo my belt. 

“Your Dad,” Clint laughed quietly. “Well, a copy of him anyway. Dr McCoy caught sight of it dropping it off and disappearing just as quickly. Seems Jared isn’t the only one in the family who is sneaky.”

I smiled and sent Dad a mental thanks. I got a good look at the new bow and quiver on Clint’s back. I had no doubt it was the massive draw weight one Clint had been aching to get for the last few months. His quiver was stuffed full of arrows, along with the collapsable ones he kept in a cartridge on his long boots, specially designed just for that purpose. They were like normal combat boots but came up to mid calf. On the other boot were an assortment of arrowheads.

I finished getting dressed quickly and led Clint out to the hanger. Natasha was already there, speaking quietly with Ororo. But otherwise the hanger was empty. It was a little disappointing not seeing anyone else. But the less people who knew about this the better. 

“Kari,” Ororo smiled as we walked in. She opened her arms, which I happily fell into. She was one of my favourite teachers here at school. Her hug was brief, but warm and welcoming. It was good to see her.

“Professor said you’d be flying,” the smile on her face grew as she pulled back from our embrace. “Lets get moving.”

It didn’t take long for us to all be on the jet. Clint sat next to me as my co-pilot, while Natasha and Ororo sat in the back. I’d been wanting to fly the jet since I first laid eyes on it when I was 6. Granted, this wasn’t the same jet as it was back then. But the desire still hadn’t diminished. It was like a Quinjet on steroids. Despite everything going on around me, I couldn’t help but bounce in the seat in excitement as I started to power up. The technology was unreal. Based on a SR-71 Blackbird, it outclassed the old spy plane years before its time. I dare say it was even better than the Quinjet’s used at SHIELD. The airspeed and mach indicator was well beyond the Quinjet. If I climbed to 50,000 feet, I could sit on Mach 3 nearly the entire way comfortably. Meaning we could be over Ukraine airspace in a little under 3 hours.

The roof opened, letting a basketball drop in and bounce off the roof. 

“How many fucking times…” Ororo muttered behind me. I snickered as we lifted up and out of the hanger. It seems some things never change. That was a rule back when I was in school. Don’t leave balls lying around on the court. It wasn’t pretty when they got sucked into the jet engine.

The flight passed by in a blur. There wasn’t a lot of planning we could do. From what Professor Xavier was able to see in Cerebro didn't give us much to go on. A dozen guards were with Yelena. As far as the Professor could see Jared was right in the middle. He was in really bad shape.The school would be a maze of unused room and easy to guard. It would be a nightmare getting in undetected. We would just have to go in blind, observe and plan from there.

There was also the hope that none of us managed to find a bad pocket of radiation and die in the next 36 hours from radiation poisoning. That would really fuck my week up. 

I handed the controls over to Ororo once we started the descent. We’d land cloaked about half a mile from the school. It was nighttime here. So we could jog there in the cover of darkness. That was about as far as our plan went. I strapped the pair of P30’s onto my thighs and slung the AWSM over my back. I shoved as much ammo as I could into the deep pockets of my pants. The rest I handed to Natasha who stowed them in her belt. It wasn’t going to be much, but it'd have to do. A wicked looking standard issue knife was tucked into my boot. It was heavy compared to the throwing knives I’d been using. But it’d come in handy if we had to stay silent. There was no silencers for the sidearms, so the knife may just get a workout.

The jet landed with a soft lump before I knew it and the ramp opened, sending in a blast of cold air. My stomach twisted into a knot of nerves seeing the black of the landscape in front of us. This was it. The nerves were gone as quickly as they came. It was replaced with the steely determination from earlier.

“Be safe,” Ororo called back to us. She didn’t give us a chance to reply. As soon as I stepped off, the ramp was already closing. The jet lifted into the air quickly and melted into the night within half a minute. 

There was nothing to say, even if she’d given us time to say it. Thank you seemed far too insignificant to say for what had just been done. Professor Xavier had just risked a lot to help us out here. From here on, we were on our own.

“Lets go,” Natasha pulled one of her Glock’s from the holster. “Barton you lead. You can see better than either of us in the dark.”

“And I know where we’re going thanks to Call of Duty,” Clint’s smart reply made me smile. Trust Clint to know about something because of a video game. Natasha’s quiet chuckle was the only answer we got before Clint turned and started to jog silently into the night. Natasha and I were only a second after him.

Pripyat was beyond creepy. The abandoned buildings stood out in the darkness like ghosts. It was impossible to move silently through the heavy growth crawling through the once urban centre. The occasional unseen wildlife scampered away in the darkness. 

“Here,” Clint stopped abruptly. 

I managed to step out of the way to avoid crashing into him. Natasha had to do the same thing to avoid my sudden stop as well. I peered into the darkness looking for what Clint was pointing at. It was like everything else around here. A deserted building that was 3 stories high, as far as I could tell in the darkness. The windows were broken leaving an open view into the building. There was nothing about it that stood out. It looked like every other building around the town. Overgrown with trees everywhere and in a state of rotting decay. 

“That’s the old swimming pool. We need to get up on the rooftop,” Clint said quietly. He pointed to the far right corner of the building. “If they have any sort of training, thats where the sniper will be. There’s a ladder right there.”

I could just made out the ladder in the darkness. If looked rusted but it should easily hold my weight. 

“I’ll go,” I said right away. “I can go invisible, do we have a silencer?”

“No,” Natasha shook her head. “Knives or garrotte for this. Have I taught you how to garrotte someone?”

“I seemed to have missed that part of my assassin training 101,” I couldn’t stop the sass creeping into my voice. Besides me, Clint made a gurgling sound like he was trying not to laugh. 

“You get the knife then,” Natasha didn’t sound very amused. She had slipped into work mode already. “If I hang onto you, can you keep us both invisible?”

“Yeah I can,” I sobered up immediately. “And after?”

“Then we need to move,” Clint sounded as serious as Natasha this time. “We don’t know how long between radio calls they’re doing. We need to hit the entrance and start sweeping the building for Jared.”

“Lets go,” I hitched the AWSM up a little higher so it wouldn’t bang against my legs as I climbed. 

“Be careful,” Clint said softly. 

“We will,” Natasha and I said at the same time. 

Natasha grabbed my hand first. I closed my eyes in took in a deep breath, concentrating on going invisible. It really had gotten easier with time and practice. Clint still rode my ass nearly every day about doing something with my powers. It took very little effort for it to happen and I wasn’t struggling to maintain it. Even with Natasha holding onto me. 

It was a short run from the cover of the tree to the side of the building. There was a quick moment where I had to go visible again to get on the ladder. Natasha was holding onto my leg lightly as we went up the ladder. I was 2 rungs up from the top when footsteps made me stop instantly. 

“Still no activity,” the male voice in Russian came close to the edge. “What’s the bitch doing with him now?”

Natasha’s fingers dug into my leg. Out of the black came a shadow, right to the edge. Even though I knew he couldn’t see us but it still made sweat break out all over me. Boots stopped crunching about a foot away from the ladder. I dared to glance up, trying to keep my breathing even. 

“Playing with her food,” the guy scoffed with a short laugh still in Russian. “That sounds about right. All clear here. Check in again in 15 minutes.”

The sound of a zipper being undone made me instantly cringe. Why did guys always piss in the most random places? I held back a gag as a steady stream came right next to us. I shifted away as much as I could. Fucking gross. The zipper was closed and heavy footsteps walked away. They obviously weren’t worried about being found. There was nothing stealthy about them. 

“Go,” Natasha’s grip loosened on my leg. I didn’t need to be told twice. I scrambled up the ladder with Natasha clinging onto me. There was a brief second once we first hit the roof where Natasha was exposed. She had to let go of my leg for me to get over the edge and then quickly scramble over and grab me again. We didn’t have to worry too much. The sniper and his spotter were facing away from us. Both were talking quietly in Russian not paying attention to what was behind them. Natasha let go of my hand again. I quickly grabbed the knife out of my boot and went visible. 

“Go,” Natasha whispered. 

On silent feet we covered the distance. I threw myself on the spotters back, grabbing his chin. Before he could draw another breath, I plunged the knife into his neck and in one smooth motion yanked it across the delicate skin. Blood coated my hands in an instant. A muted gargle and choke was all the sound he managed to get out before slumping lifelessly against the concrete. Next to me, Natasha gave the sniper’s head a brutal yank backwards. His limbs jerked erratically for another second before falling limp. 

“Check the other building for a sniper,” Natasha climbed off the now dead sniper. 

I scrambled off the spotter, pulling the AWSM around as quickly as I could. I didn’t bother to set up the stand. I just looked through the scope, checking every building in sight. It was hard to see through the thick foliage cover even with the night vision on. I switched to IR and did another scan. There was 2 guards at the entrance of the school, but the rooftops were clear.

“Clear,” I pulled my face away from the scope. “2 guards at the entrance. I can’t see anything else. They must be too far in the school.”

“Lets get back down to Barton,” Natasha bent down and wiped off the garrotte on the snipers jacket. “Clean your knife off.”

I copied Natasha’s movement, wiping the blade down and sticking it back into my boot. It only took us half a minute before we were back on the ground and next to Clint. 

“You all good?” Clint asked as soon as we came into view. I looked down to see my hands and shirt with dark patches on them. I didn’t want to think of the mess I just made up there. 

“2 guards,” I ignored his question. I was fine right now. I could freak out about slitting someone’s throat later. “At the entrance, no other snipers. 15 minute check in. We should get moving.”

“If we split up, we’ll cover more ground,” Natasha suggested. “If you take left, Kari takes middle and I’ll go right. We should roughly meet up at the same place. We meet back at the pool once we find Jared.”

“Lets go,” Clint didn’t argue with the plan. 

Like shadows, we slunk through the landscape until we had full sight of the school entrance. Both of the guards were on either side of the door, lounging around not paying attention. It would have been early morning here. About 0200. It was that time of night where you were struggling to stay awake. Things were quiet with little promise of any action. The rest of the men would probably be asleep, cleaning weapons or some other meaningless job. It should make sweeping the building easy for us. 

“Ready to go on my mark,” Clint said quietly. He pulled 2 arrows from his quiver, notching the first one. “And, mark.”

In the blink of an eye, Clint sent both arrows flying. The bodies hit the ground with a muffled thud. Without waiting for anything else, we all ran for the entrance, weapons drawn. All was quiet. Nothing stirred in the darkness of the old building. It was eerily silent. Clint knelt down and yanked the arrows out of the dead guards.

“Stay safe,” Natasha said before melting into shadows once more. She was gone before I could say the same thing back.

“Don’t die, your Mom will kill me,” Clint gave my shoulder a quick smack. “Stay safe.”

“You too,” I pulled both of my P30’s out. I rolled my shoulders and blew out a breath. Closing my eyes, I went invisible yet again and stepped into deserted corridor. I didn’t look back.

I hugged the walls, mindful of the debris that would make noise if I stepped on it. Everything was so quiet. It felt like every footstep I made echoed loudly enough to wake the dead. The first few rooms had nothing in them except for scattered debris. As I made my way further into the school, there was more and more rubbish strewn everywhere. Trees were growing through the floors where it wasn’t concrete. 

I came around the corner and looked into one room. What I saw made me lose my invisibility in surprise. For a second I thought it was human remains. But it was old fashioned gas masks. Hundreds of them littering the floor. It just added to the macabre of the building even more. I shuddered involuntarily surveying the scene. 

“Creepy,” I muttered before turning around. I’d nearly made it back out of the doorway when a scream cut through the air. It was a scream of utter pain and agony. And very male. It wasn’t far away.

“Jared,” I breathed out. My legs took over before my brain could as I sprinted down the hallway. It only took half a minute and plenty of twists and turns before I found a half closed door. A weak light shone through the gap in the doorway. The room was far away enough from any eyes so you couldn't see the light from the outside until you were right on top of it. 

“Oh that looks like a terrible break,” a soft Russian accent voice of a woman came from the room. She clucked in sympathy that almost sounded real. “It’d be a shame if I had to do it to your other ankle. Now lets try this again Pet.”

My body took over before my mind could. I went invisible and walked into the room, P30 held high. Yelena had her back to me, she was standing over Jared who was tied to a chair. He was a mess. Even in the dim lighting I could see where he’d been bleeding. His blue shirt was stained with various patches of blood. His face was one big swollen bruise, so badly that I doubted he could even see out of his right eye. His left ankle was set at an unnatural angle. But it was his hands what made me halt in my stride. Underneath his nails were on both hands, were hypodermic needles of various sizes. All inserted under the nail bed right down to the cuticle. Blood was still dripping from his fingers where some of the larger needles had been inserted. There was so much blood pooled around him. The sight of it made my steps falter as I stared in horror at the scene in front of me.

“The employer is very impressed at how quickly you found me,” Yelena reached forward and stroked her hand against Jared’s cheek. Jared flinched away violently from her touch, straining against the bonds of the chair. His movements were off, like he couldn’t properly control his body. The eye that wasn’t swollen shut could barely focus on Yelena in front of him. 

“You should join me,” Yelena reached forward and whispered close to his ear. “You think your good now. I can make you even better. The employer will give you anything and everything you want. Forget about SHIELD, Natalia and everything you have. No one is coming for you. They don’t care. Join me.”

“I’d rather die,” Jared’s words were slurred. “You may as well kill me now. I’m not going to join you no matter how much you torture me.”

“Oh but that’s where you’re wrong,” Yelena chuckled. “My employer has, well lets just say ways of making you comply. You were always coming with me. This was just a bit of fun to see if you’d come willingly.”

My horror turned in rage as her words. I was willing to die to save Jared. She knew nothing of me or anyone else who was friends with Jared. Just for saying that, I wanted to kill her. I came behind Yelena, still invisible and pointed the P30 at the back of her head. Her words infuriated me. I was so angry I could feel my control slipping. The temperature in the room dropped slightly. Not enough for a normal person to notice. But Jared’s head suddenly snapped up, looking more focused than before. His gaze met mine, even though I was still invisible, it was he was looking right at me. Then he laughed and a serene smile crept onto his broken face.

“You’re fucked now bitch,” Jared spat out. Blood dribbled from his mouth as he spoke.

I pressed the P30 into the back of Yelena’s head before she could turn around. She stilled instantly at the touch. I couldn’t maintain being invisible any longer, so I let it go.

“Not too many people can sneak up on me,” Yelena actually sounded impressed. Nothing in her body language faltered, even with a gun pressed into her head. “Very clever girl. You forgot one thing.”

Faster than I could move, Yelena spun around and slashed a knife across my arm that was holding the P30 to her head. Shock, more than pain made me drop both of my sidearms as I clutched at the now bleeding limb. Blood poured freely from the wound and between my fingers. Fuck she was quick. My arm was instantly on fire. That was going to definitely need stitches. 

“Never hesitate to pull the trigger,” Yelena smiled at me. It was cold, chilling and calculating the way she looked so calm. She casually flicked the knife into her other hand and tiled her head as she looked at me. “Hmmm, well this is interesting. Twins I’m guessing.”

Yelena began to circle around me like a predator. She certainly looked the part. Hair as blonde as mine, ice cold blue eyes with a slim figure. She moved with the grace of a dancer, her feet making no sound as she moved around me. I never took my eyes off her. She reminded me so much of Natasha in her movement. If she moved like Natasha, then she’d fight like her too. I couldn’t afford to let my guard down.

“Pretty just like your brother,” Yelena purred. “What can you do Kotyonok?”

Kitten. Ugh. I’d kill her just for calling me that. 

“This,” I took a chance and focused on the knife in her hand. It frozen over quickly before shattering in her hands. Yelena looked at her bare hand before laughing. In her second of inattention I looked to the floor to try and find one of my P30’s. Both were out of reach. But I still had a knife in my boot. I just needed her distracted enough to reach it. There was no way I could win in hand to hand if I engaged her. I needed to use my wits here instead of muscle. Or just stall for time. The guard had said something about her playing with her food. I had no doubt she liked to talk. I could use that to my advantage.

“Oh this is wonderful,” she turned back to me with a wide smile on her face. “My employer will be most pleased to have both of you.”

“Shame you’re going to be too dead to have us,” I smiled back. Her face was so unnerving. Even though she had a smile on her face, her eyes were just dead. There was no emotion in them at all.

“Now that’s where you’re wrong,” Yelena took a step towards me. I didn’t move from my spot, muscles tense and waiting for her next move. “Because if you value your twins life, you’re going to tell me everything I want to know.”

My vision suddenly started to swim. I shook my head rapidly trying to clear it. The entire room felt like it was spinning around me. I staggered, squeezing my eyes shut to stop the sensation. This wasn’t good.

“Nasty little poison isn’t it,” Yelena cooed at me. “I do love coating my knives in it. Don’t worry it’s only temporary. Oh, mind your body when you fall down.”

No sooner had the words left her mouth, I crashed to the ground. The AWSM dug into my back, no doubt giving me some impressive bruises. All my muscles were twitching uncontrollably. I had no control over anything. While my body was twitching my brain just didn’t want to focus. I felt like my mind put on overdrive and everything was too vivid. Too bright. It just hurt to keep my eyes open. But I couldn’t keep them shut either. The blackness was a swirling vortex, threatening to drag me under.

“Kari!” Jared’s panicked voice sounded so far away. I couldn’t focus enough to call back to him. 

“Now Kotyonok,” Yelena’s outline was a blurred mess of colours. She was suddenly standing over me. At least I think she was. “We’re going to play nicely here for the moment. Are you alone?”

“Yes,” I lied, gasping for air. My chest felt like it was being squeeze in a vice when I tried to speak. What the hell had she given me?

“Why?” Yelena’s face got a little clearer as she lent down. I could feel the weight of her body as she straddled my stomach. 

“Because he’s my brother,” I wheezed through my gasping breath. “I couldn’t leave him here to die.”

“How sweet,” Yelena laughed coldly. “And now because of your incompetence you’re going to join him. But not in death, though you may wish for it soon. Funny how I know nothing of you. How did you get here?”

“I’m a fighter pilot,” I was surprising myself how easily the lies were rolling off my tongue. “I went to SHIELD and stole a jet and weapons.”

“Clever girl.” 

That almost sounded like a compliment. Yelena tilted her head looking at me closely. She had another knife in her hand, caressing the blade down my cheek. A cold shiver went down my spine at the feel of the metal on my face. She dug the tip in lightly, causing a sharp sting and a small trickle of blood to run down my cheek. She didn’t know I was SHIELD. Even better she had no idea I had Natasha with me. I just had to keep cool until Clint or Natasha found me. I could do this.

“I shouldn’t make that pretty face,” the knife was suddenly gone from my face. “Even if you don’t cooperate, plenty of people pay good money for women like you.”

The knife slid from my face down the front of my shirt. The tip of it unexpectedly slid between my ribs just belong my breast, only just enough to piece the skin. I gritted my teeth, forcing my eyes to stay open and glaring at her. Even if I was seeing about 3 copies of her in different colours. My fingers were tingling with cold. I could feel ice forming on them as I struggled to gain any sort of control over my body. 

“Brave one aren’t you?” Yelena’s eyes never left mine. “A little too brave to be just a fighter pilot.”

The knife dug in further. This time leaving my gasping in pain. I felt like I could barely breath as it was. It was gone as quickly as it slipped in. I could feel the blood trickling down my body. She had surgical precision with that knife. Enough to hurt, but not enough to cause any serious damage. 

“None the less,” Yelena’s knife slid further down my body. “He will be most pleased. Maybe he might even let me have a little play with you. Time go Kotyonok.”

I dreaded to think what Yelena’s idea of playing was. If it was anything like what she’d done to Jared, I wasn’t going to enjoy it. She reached up and touched her ear, speaking in rapid Russian. In my blurry mind I could barely put the words together. But I did get the last thing she spoke.

“What do you mean no one else is answering?” 

Yelena yanked me into a sitting position. Her face only inches from mine. Gone was the chilling smile. Now she just looked ready to murder me. 

“You said you were alone,” she hissed.

“You need better mercenaries,” I had no idea where this bravado was coming from as I stared right back at her. “Because I just kicked your cronies asses with nothing but a knife.”

“Oh really?” Yelena’s lips turned up in a snarl. “Where did you stash your bow then?”

I guess Clint had forgotten to grab his arrows out of someone. Or he didn’t have time to. 

“In a hall somewhere,” I lied again. “Ran out of arrows.”

“There’s only one archer I know of clever enough to sneak around like this,” Yelena was furious. “And that’s the great Hawkeye.”

Fuck, I was busted. There was no lying to get out of this now. I’d been impressed my lies had stuck for this long. 

“You’re a bit slow Yelena,” I blame the poison for my mouth running off. There was no way I was this cocky in front of someone who could kill me with her pinky. “This is why you never got the mantle of Black Widow.”

The smack across my face echoed around the room. My brain rattled around in my skull at the sheer force behind it. Ouch. That was going to leave a mark. Yelena hit me hard enough to make my head now be facing sideways and I was back lying on the floor. I could just make out the blurry outline of Jared still tied in his chair. By his slumped position, it looked like he’d passed out. 

Gunshots echoed down the hallway. I could hear the heavy thump of someone heavy coming down the hallway. It had to be Clint. 

“You’re fucked now bitch,” I echoed Jared’s earlier words with a pained laugh.

“See that’s where you’re wrong Kotyonok,” Yelena gripped my chin and forced my head back around to face her. “This place is rigged to blow once I leave. See that dart sticking out of your brother’s neck?”

She pushed my head around so I could see what she was talking about. My neck muscles fought against the strain of being man handled. Even with my swimming vision I could see the red dart poking out of his neck. Damn she was quick to be able to get that dart without me noticing. Then again, I was pretty high on drugs.

“That’s a paralytic agent which will kill him in 5 minutes if he doesn’t get help,” Yelena pulled my head back to face her. I winced as it hit the floor, adding to the list of injuries I’d just accumulated. “And you have 3 minutes before this place blows up.”

Yelena dangled what looked to be a keychain in front of my eyes. She pressed a kiss on my cheek before whispering in my ear.

“This has been fun. I can’t wait to find you again if you manage to get out of here alive. And believe me, I will find you. Good luck Kotyonok.”

Blinding pain shot through my leg a second later. My thigh burned like it’d been set on fire. I couldn’t stop the scream that ripped through my body. As I screamed I felt my hands clench into fists. My bare skin brushed up against something cold and metallic. I desperately scrambled for it willing my fingers to work. The pain in my leg was making it nearly impossible to concentrate. But my fingers finally curled around it. My arm barely moved as I tried to raise it. My efforts were stopped by a gunshot ringing out across the room. I couldn’t move my head enough to see what happened.

“Nice try lover boy,” Yelena laughed. She was to my right, sounding like she was heading towards the window. I struggled wildly, fighting against the paralysis. My neck finally decided to cooperate and I could turn it enough to see where Yelena had gone. She was heading right for the only window in the room. My fingers tightened a little tighter on the grip of the P30. It was sheer luck I’d landed right near my sidearm. Yelena’s cockiness had meant she hadn’t kicked it away. This time I didn’t hesitate. I pulled the trigger.

Yelena moved out of the way just in time to not get hit in the head. But it did connect with her shoulder. It was a grim satisfaction hearing her yelp of pain before she jumped out the window. Fuck. Not what I wanted. Pins and needles started to take over my body. It only intensified the pain I was feeling. But it meant I was getting feeling back. My vision started to clear a little, enough that I could keep my eyes open. I found out very quickly what the pain in my thigh was. Yelena had stuck her knife into it, thankfully on the outside. It was bleeding heavily, but thankfully it was in the wrong place for an artery to be nicked. 

“Clint!” Natasha’s panicked voice reached my ears. “Oh fucking jesus.”

“Nat,” I craned my head around to the sound of her voice. What I saw froze my breath. Clint was lying flat out on the floor in a pool of blood. Natasha was leaning over him, gripping her own side. I could see a gash on her forehead with a line of now dried blood running down it. 

“It went through, I’m fine,” Clint’s breath came out in short gasps. “Kari?”

“Still alive,” I struggled against my useless body. “She has the place rigged. Jared…”

I turned to face Jared. He was still slumped in the chair looking like he was barely breathing. His face had turned an unnatural shade of red.

“Fuck,” Natasha swore again. She got up and ran to where Jared was still slumped in his chair. “No, no, no. Come on Jared, we didn’t come all this way for you to clock out now. Wake up you asshole.”

The slap Natasha delivered across his face echoed around the now quiet room. For a second it didn’t look like it had any effect. Then Jared groaned, his head lolling back as he blinked rapidly with one good eye. 

“Come on Jared, come back to us,” Natasha held his head upright in her hands. “We need you here.”

“Hi,” Jared’s broken face smiled. “I must be dead. You look like an angel.”

“Flirt later,” Natasha knelt down and started to cut his bonds. “Come on, we need you with us.”

“Tasha,” Jared breathed out her name. “I…”

“Kari,” Clint blocked my line of view to Jared. He’d dragged himself over to where I was still lying. “Hey come on, what can you move? We need to get out….Oh fuck.”

Clint’s eyes found the knife still stuck in my thigh. I’d be actively avoiding looking at it. Thankfully shock and adrenaline had kicked in now. I wasn’t feeling the intense pain like before. Actually, I couldn’t feel much of anything. I was also shivering like crazy. Whether it was from blood loss or coming down from the drug, I didn’t know.

“Can’t feel it,” I said shortly. I had to stop my teeth from chattering. “This place is rigged to blow. She stuck Jared with something. If we aren’t blown up, he’s going to die in about 3 minutes.”

“Come on,” Clint dragged me into an upright position. All emotion had gone from his face. Even injured he managed to easily carry me over to where Jared and Natasha were on the floor. Natasha was leaning over him, cradling his face in her hands. He was looking up at her like he wanted her face to be the last thing he saw on this Earth. It nearly broke my heart seeing him look like that. It was the same look Riley gave me before he died. If our situation wasn’t so dire, I would have broken down right there.

“Hey,” I lent against Clint for support. “Hey come on we need to get out of here.”

“I can’t,” Jared squeezed his eyes shut. “I’m sorry, so sorry. I didn’t want anyone to come after me.”

“Yes you can,” I half fell off Clint and onto Jared. “Come on, you're the one always telling me to use my powers. We need you.”

An explosion sounded outside. It shook the entire room, sending down bits of plaster and debris raining down on us. Clint pushed me down and covered me with his body. A few more explosions followed in quick succession. Each getting louder and closer to our position. 

“Jared,” I could move my arm enough to grab his hand. “Please. Come on, please don’t let it end like this.”

Jared didn’t respond. From his ragged breathing it sounded like he’d fallen unconscious again. The explosions kept coming. The entire room started to shake with every blast going off. The heat coming in now was stifling. The air was getting harder and harder to breathe in. Clint’s grip on me tightened. I looked up to see Natasha staring at me. Wide eyed and resigned to our fate. She reached over and grabbed my hand that was holding Jared’s and shifted her body so she was covering him as much as possible. Clint’s hand came on top of ours. His chin tucked into the crook of my shoulder.

A blast came right next to us. I closed my eyes in defeat. I suppose there were worst ways to go. I’d die with the people I love most in the world right here with me. Each of us holding onto each other. The last thing I’d see and feel in this world were my friends. 

The room next to us went up in flames. I could feel the heat of the blast on my exposed skin. Clint pushed both of us down, right onto Jared’s chest. He reached over and grabbed onto Natasha as much as he could. Between him and Natasha, Jared and I were shielded as much as humanly possible. 

“See you on the other side,” Clint’s voice cracked at the last word. 

It felt like time slowed down. A click rang throughout the room and a glow bathed the walls. The heat was incredible. It felt like every hair on my body was getting singed off. I slammed my eyelids shut, not wanting to see what was going to happen next. I hoped it’d be quick. 

The entire world dropped out from underneath us. I couldn’t move or breathe. It felt like I’d just been thrown in a spin cycle in the dryer. A few seconds later we were all deposited onto a hard, cold floor. I forced my eyes open, only to close them again when the harsh and over bright light gave me an instant headache. It was only realisation that I wasn’t blown into nothing but a pile of ash made me open my eyes again and looked around feeling wildly disorientated.

We were in a waiting room of a hospital. Every person in the room was staring at us, wide eyed and open mouthed in shock. My own mouth dropped open in surprise. He’d done it. At the very last second, Jared had saved all of us.

“Jared,” I gripped his hand, shaking it. 

“Jared,” Clint repeated his name. He pulled me away from my twin, pushing me onto the floor. I didn’t have enough control over my body to stop myself hitting the ground with a thud. “Fuck, no.”

“Someone help!” Natasha screamed at the top of her lungs. 

It took me a second to realise what was happening.

Jared wasn’t breathing. He was slumped lifelessly against the floor. Pale and cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, not sorry!


	45. Chapter 45

It took about 3 seconds before people came running at us. It was surreal how quickly Jared was surrounded and we were pushed out of the way. I couldn’t take my eyes off what was happening. I just sat on the floor in a shivering mess. In less than 30 seconds Jared had a bag value mask over his face, pumping air into his lungs while someone else started compressions on his chest. Questions were being shouted at us far too quickly for me to hear what was going on. Natasha seemed to be the only one who could keep her wits about her. Clint had fallen back next to me, silent and clutching at his side. He was bleeding rather heavily, just like I was. We’d both made quite a mess on the floor in the brief time we’d been here. 

“Jared Nicholas Lyngley,” I could hear Natasha clearly over everything going on. “SHIELD Agent number A078699.”

“We’ve got SHIELD agents!” one of the nurses yelled over the commotion. “Get someone on the line from SHIELD for clearance.”

“Agent Phil Coulson,” Natasha said calmly before rattling off his number. “Where are we?”

“GW Hospital,” someone supplied. 

The George Washington hospital was the closest hospital to the Triskelion. It was also where Laura worked. Jared had brought us home. We really had made it. Even if it was only by the skin of our teeth. I sat back watching in numb shock as the doctors and nurses worked on him. I could only just see him through the crowd of bodies. His face had gone an unnatural shade of blue while lying on the ground completely motionless. It seemed like I’d been watching a lifetime until someone wheeled out a large trolley filled with medical supplies. 

“Clear,” all hands left him as a defibrillator was attached to his body. Jared body jolted as the electrical kick hit him. It was a tense wait to see what happened. Nothing did. People crowded around him again started compressions for another long tense minute.

“Nothing, try again.”

Everyone’s hands instantly left Jared as the defibrillator gave him another shock. I swear a lifetime passed as I sat there staring at my twins unresponsive body. 

“We have a steady pulse. Come on son, start breathing for us too.”

“He was given some sort of paralytic,” Natasha supplied. She slumped to the floor, suddenly looking exhausted and completely grey. “Might be why he's not breathing.”

The doctor who was working on Jared looked over to Natasha as she hit the floor. His brow crinkled in concern and he looked mildly horrified at the information she just gave. 

“Holy mother of….” one of the nurse exclaimed before breaking off. She had one of Jared’s hands in her own, now staring at the mess they were. Yelena had really done a number on them. The fingernails that weren’t missing had at least 2 needles shoved in them. But the hand she was holding had what looked to be bamboo splinters shoved down his index finger. On closer look, all his fingers were dislocated, fat and purple from the abuse they’d been put through. It was enough to make my stomach churn. I swallowed down the bile that rose in my throat at the sight of all the needles. 

“I’m not feeling so great,” Clint muttered next to me. He lent over and promptly threw up. There wasn't much for him to throw up. But it was enough to get the attention of one of the nurses with Jared. 

“Can we get some more help out here?” she yelled over the general commotion of the room. I suppose 2 people sitting in a pool of blood wasn’t a good look. We’d certainly gathered quite a crowd of people gaping at everything. The people in the waiting room were getting a show from our drama. They’d be in for a bigger show once Coulson arrived. 

A wave of nausea hit me really hard. It happened so quickly I threw up in Clint’s lap before I could stop myself. Before I could apologise, Clint slumped from his sitting position and onto the floor. I still didn’t have full control over my body. I ended up sprawled on the floor at an awkward angle. My thigh screamed in pain as the knife still stuck in it hit the floor. My vision wavered, black spots dancing on the edges of my vision due to pain. My hands worked enough to clutch at my thigh, as I lay there gasping. Suddenly I was on my back, the AWSM digging into my spine leaving even more bruises on my already battered body. 

“Hi,” an unfamiliar female face hovered over mine. A light suddenly shone in my eyes, causing me to blink even more. “What’s your name Agent?”

“Kari,” I closed my eyes against the light. It was just hurting my head more than anything else. “Lyngley.”

“Can you tell me where you are Agent Lyngley? And open your eyes again please.”

I squinted, bracing myself for the light to be in my face again. It hurt to have it flash and then go away several times.

“Apparently the GW hospital,” I swallowed back the rising nausea again. The female doctor frowned at me and leant in closer to my face.

“Your pupils are dilated,” the woman looked concerned. She moved around and suddenly there was something stuck in my ear. I flinched at the sudden invasion of the cold instrument. “And you’re running a fever.”  
 Really? I felt like I was freezing. I hadn’t stopped shivering since Jared dumped us on the floor here. I really wanted to throw up again, despite there being nothing in my body to throw up. 

“I got drugged,” I explained weakly. Something got fastened around my arm, squeezing it hard. I flinched as some kind of wound or bump I’d picked up along the way hurt. Something touched the stab wound in my leg. My entire body jerked and spasmed as the pain shot through me. I could feel the blood running freely again from the wound. 

“Agent Lyngley, we’re going to get you up onto the stretcher right now,” the female doctor’s face floated in front of mine again. I was seeing that weird halo effect again. An aura of light was around her head, making her features fuzzy. I couldn’t focus, but I did feel myself being lifted. Someone pulled the AWSM off my back before I was placed on the stretcher. My injured leg was quickly propped up to the point of being uncomfortable. Someone else took my injured arm and placed it above my head. I lost sight of Jared nearly straight away. There was just too many people blocking my view around me now.

It was getting harder and harder to concentrate as the stretcher wheeled down the never ending hallways. I was nearly passed out when another face hovered in front of me. Brown hair was falling out of a messy bun. I knew that face.

“Laura,” I struggled to get her name out. An oxygen mask had been put over my face. I hadn’t even noticed it. I tried to reach up to push it off, but Laura grabbed my arm. She forced my arm back down onto the bed.

“Don’t be a pain in the ass,” she looked stressed. The lines around her eyes were crinkled in a deep frown. She looked like she hadn’t slept in a few days. “Any idea what you got drugged with?”

“Something Russian,” I tried to struggle against her grip. Normally I’d be able to push her off easily, but she held down my arm like it was nothing. 

“Fucking Russians,” Laura muttered under her breath. I only just heard it. I tried to smile but my face muscles wouldn’t cooperate. Laura’s face softened a little as she looked at me. “He’s gone into surgery. You’re going there now too.”

Gone into surgery meant they’d at least stabilised Jared. It was the best news I’d heard in days. Except for the surgery part.

“I’m fine,” my speech started to slur. “Don’t need…”

Everything went even fuzzier. I couldn’t make out Laura’s face at all now. 

“Sorry what was that?” Laura’s voice was dripping in amusement. “Was that you’re too out of it from blood loss and a 6 inch knife sticking out of your thigh to notice me giving you knock out drugs for surgery?”

I was going to kill her. That wasn’t funny at all. I couldn’t argue or snap at her. The voices around me blurred into nothing as my entire world went black. 

“…. 2 pints of blood, raging infection…. “ a voice broke through the blackness. “Bad reaction coming out of….”

I was floating in a world of nothing. I couldn’t feel anything. The words weren't even making proper sense.

“….the hell she manage to…”

More words. Just not full sentences. 

“…may just kill them both myself…”

That sounded suspiciously like something my Mom would say. 

“…have to redo this IV line one more fucking time…. sedated for your own good….”

That time it sounded like Laura sounding angry at me. If I could have smiled, I would have. But whatever it was from keeping me conscious quickly sucked me back under. Voices drifted in and out for an undetermined amount of time. It was like time was standing still in my own mind. A few times I thought I might have opened my eyes. But it was fleeting and I had no control.

“…. realise what a fucking mess your agents just made Coulson? Not only do they get themselves nearly killed they drag half of Chernobyl radiation back with them! I’ve got….”

That time it sounded like Fury was yelling. You couldn’t miss the deep timbre of the Director’s voice. Even in a drug induced unconscious state.

“…Kotyonok….”

“KARI!”

Jared’s panicked scream filled my head. It’d come out of nowhere. But it was enough to jerk me awake. My eyes opened to a tiled ceiling in a dark room. I struggled against whatever was holding me down. It was like being paralysed again. My body just didn’t want to move. Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw someone slinking away in the shadow of the room.The memory of having the word kitten whispered to me in Russian earlier sent me into full panic mode. 

I struggled against my own body and suddenly I was free. I could move my arms and legs, albeit it wasn’t very coordinated. Somehow I managed to end up rolling over and hitting the floor. I was so tangled in lines, monitors screaming somewhere in the distance. The pain, there was just so much pain. I couldn’t see straight again. Stars danced around my barely open eyes. I could only just make out the figure suddenly leaning over me, holding me down. 

Suddenly I was back in Pripyat, Yelena looming over me. All I could see was her face leaning down over me. 

I had no control over my body. So I screamed, as loudly as I could. A hand clamped over my mouth just as quickly. The weight leaning down on me was too heavy to be Yelena. The hands were too rough and big. Everything smelt too clean and sterile unlike before. 

“Kari, calm down, look at me,” a male voice cut through my foggy brain. “Focus, please stop freezing the room over.”

I didn’t even know I was doing it. But as soon as it was mentioned I could feel the ice under my hands. I took a few deep breaths, feeling the world come into focus a little more. A blurry shape was above me. The ice made my skin tingle with cold, grounding more a little more. The hand lifted off my mouth.

“Can you tell me where you are?”

I blinked a few times, willing my brain to really kick in. That voice was so damn familiar. But so was the fear of what I saw. I couldn’t tell what was real or not. Right now the fear Yelena had just been here couldn’t get out of my head. 

“Jared,” was all I could croak out. “Where’s Jared?”

“He’s safe,” the hand came up to gently cup my face. “You are too. Breathe. Focus. Come on, in and out.”

My brain finally cleared to grasp what was going on. I took in another few deep, shuddering breaths like I was told. It finally clicked in my head who’s voice it was.

“Troy,” I swallowed heavily. My throat felt like it was on fire. What the hell was Evans doing here? 

“Yeah its Troy,” Evans face came into view. He had me pinned down on the hospital floor while the monitors all around me were going ballistic. Various IV lines were either dripping on the floor or still attached to me. My entire body was on fire. 

“Why….” I couldn’t even finish the rest of the question. I was so weak and exhausted.

“Making sure you don't sneak off again,” Evans tone was teasing. “Looks like I caught you just in time.”

I blinked a few more times as the world came into focus a little more around me. This wasn’t normal. Why couldn’t I get my brain to work properly? But what I could focus on saw Evans in full tactical gear and armed. I frowned at the sight of him. Well, I think I was frowning. 

“Yeah I’d shoot your ass if you try to escape,” Evans joked as he followed my line of sight. “Come on back to bed. You have way too many drugs in your system to be moving.”

“I want to see Jared,” I tried to argue. I wasn’t even sure the words came out correctly.

“Ok, lets get you into bed first,” Evans moved off me. “Then I’ll let the medical staff back in here to reattach you to everything. I’ve got a live feed of his room on my iPad.”

Let the medical staff back in here? What the hell was going on that I needed an armed guard and medical staff weren’t allowed in the room. And why did Evans have a live feed of Jared’s room on his iPad? 

“One, two, three,” Evans wasn’t giving me time to argue or ponder. He slipped his arms under me and the next thing I knew, I was back on the bed. Evans was speaking into a radio clipped onto his shoulder. I was too out of it to focus on the words being said. It wasn’t until he leant down closer to me I could focus on him. “Bad dream?”

“Someone was in the room,” I tried to shake my head, but my body just didn’t want to cooperate again. “I thought I heard Jared scream.”

Evans frowned at my words. He reached over and grabbed the radio again.

“Can we do a quick perimeter sweep again? Sam, what’s the status in Jared’s room?”

I didn’t hear the reply to Evans radio call. I was pulled back into the land of unconscious yet again. 

I could hear screaming. With the screaming came pain. So much burning, it felt like my skin was on fire. My skin of fire slowly turned into me burning on the inside too. Faces blurred around me. Too many and just too much for my brain to focus on. Voices drifted in out. Panicked yells. Gentle whispers. Pleading tones. Nothing I could make out properly even if I wanted to. Its just noise interlacing with pain that goes on for an eternity. 

“…Kari…” Jared’s voice cut through it all. His voice keeps repeating my name over and over again, like he's begging for my help. I wanted to reach over and touch him. But something was holding me down. I fought with all my strength to get free. It seemed to take an eternity but my hand finally grasped something. I couldn’t see anything but I knew someone was touching me. Fingers wound around mine. It was then it felt like everything stopped. The pain, the voices, the blur of colours constantly swirling around me all ground to a halt. The blackness that fell around me was a welcome relief.

The only thing I could feel in the blackness was those fingers curled around mine. It only meant one thing. We were safe. I don’t know how my mind was putting that together. But I just knew. 

An eternity later I became a little more aware of things coming back to me. Fingers were gently pushing my hair back over my ear. Those fingers felt cool against my sweating skin. Cold enough to make me start shivering. It was an odd contrast. I was so hot, yet freezing at the same time. 

“Hands are cold,” I murmured.

The hand that had been touching me snatched away like it’d been burnt. The way my skin was feeling, they may just have been.

“Kari Anastasia Lyngley, open your eyes this minute otherwise you’re grounded forever,” Mom’s voice had no force behind it. It sounded extremely shaky, like she was only just keeping her emotions in check, 

It took a lot of effort but I finally managed to get my eyes open. Mom looked like she’d aged by about 20 years and not slept in days. It was daytime but other than that I had no concept of how much time had passed. My brain was still fuzzy, but I felt a little more with it than last time.

“How do you feel?” Mom asked me, hovering over me.

“Like I drank a 5th of tequila,” I tried to reach up to scratch my nose, but my hands met resistance. I glanced down to see the restraints around my wrists. Moving my legs had the same result. I was strapped down. I tried to yank against the restrains but my body just wouldn’t move. 

“It's ok,” Mom instantly stopped the panicking I was about to do. She reached over and quickly undid the wrist cuffs. “You didn’t have a good reaction coming out of the anaesthetic.”

“What happened?” I could finally scratch my itchy nose. The small movement of scratching left me exhausted already. But then the thought hit me so quickly, I nearly fell out of bed again. “Jared?”

“Is going to be fine,” Mom’s smile wavered. “He was a bit touch and go there for a bit but he’s going to be all right. He woke up a few hours ago but he’s asleep again. Eyes right.”

My head lolled to look to the right side of the room. Next to me was Jared lying in a hospital bed. He was attached to a mess of IV lines, not unlike me. He still had an oxygen mask on his face. He looked impossibly small in the bed with so much around him. The steady beep of his monitors were a comforting sound. He was here and alive. It was real. The feeling I had when I was unconscious, that we were safe. It was all real. The thought made me swallow back a sudden rush of emotion. There was so many questions that needed to be answered. I wasn't going to be awake long. I could already feel my body wanting to drag me back down, so I forced the first question in my mind out of my mouth.

“Clint?” 

“Alive and annoying,” Mom laughed quietly. “He’s driving everyone up the wall because he wants to be up and moving.”

“What happened?” I asked again. I wanted to reach out to touch Jared, just to make sure this was real. He was too far away for me to reach though. It was only by a few inches, but it may as well have been a mile with the way I was feeling. The room was covered in flowers and balloons. Something soft touched my arm. It was a teddy bear tucked into my side. It was a typical bear you’d buy at a hospital gift shop. This one had an eye patch and bandages on all 4 limbs. It was holding a heart which someone had put tape over. Instead of the usual Get Well Soon message on it, the tape read ‘You’re a dumb ass.’

“One of the Bravo team boys brought that for you,” Mom reached over and tucked the bear into my side. She rearranged the blankets over me, tucking me in like I was 5 years old again. “You lost a lot of blood and got a nasty infection.”

I turned back to look at Mom. She definitely wasn’t telling the truth there. Like me, Mom was usually a pretty terrible liar. 

“Plus radiation sickness,” Mom pursed her lips at me. “You were all exposed to 1.5Gy of radiation during your little field exercise.”

No wonder I felt like shit. A dose of that size wouldn’t kill any of us, but it was enough to give us all plenty of side effects. It was little wonder that I’d ended up with an infection in my leg. I was lucky if that was the worst of it. Having the school blow up around us must have sent radiation in the area off the charts. We were lucky we weren’t there for much longer.

“You were a sick little lady,” Mom’s smile wavered. “You were all pretty sick actually.”

“How long have I been out?” 

“10 days,” Mom sank down in her chair a little more. She looked so exhausted. I immediately felt bad for making her worry so much. “The doctors only started backing off your sedation last night.”

“Why was I sedated?” I frowned. I smothered back a yawn, willing my body to stay awake just a little longer. It was a futile effort. My eyes were trying to slide closed all on their own. 

“Because you were a little rocky,” Mom’s face fell, as if the memory of what happened wasn’t good. “It’s ok, your fine now. You both are.”

Mom sounded like she was trying really hard to convince herself of that fact. She looked over to Jared briefly with a tight smile. 

“Rocky?” I asked. What the hell had I done?

“Don’t worry about it,” Mom reached over and squeezed my hand. “We’ll talk later. You should get some sleep.”

“Not tired,” I murmured. My eyes slid shut betraying my objections. “Really not…”

I didn’t get the last word out. I was asleep again before I could stop it. 

I woke up again to something being dumped on my chest. Something heavy. I grunted and my eyes flew open coming face to face with Natasha smirking at me.

“Good morning sunshine,” Natasha’s smirk grew wider. “The sun is up and you don’t have any lines attaching you to the bed anymore.”

“Get off me Nat,” I groaned. Her weight on me wasn’t helping any of the pain I was suddenly aware of now I was awake. Instead of arguing, Natasha climbed off me straight away. She looked guilty for a split second. But it was covered by her trade mark smirk instead.

“About time you woke up,” Natasha pulled up the chair closer to the bed. “Its funny, these tiny little doses of sedatives keep you knocked out. You’re as much of a lightweight with drugs as you are with alcohol.”

“Maybe people shouldn’t sedate me then,” I rubbed my eyes tiredly. The feeling of having a fifth of tequila and an ass whooping hadn’t diminished at all.

“Yeah well we probably shouldn’t get ourselves nearly blown up,” Natasha pushed a button, making my bed shift into an upright position. I winced as my aching muscles protested. There wasn’t a part of my body that didn't hurt. Being upright gave me a good look at her. She looked pale, dark smudges under her eyes and thinner than I last saw her. But she was alive. I looked over to Jared’s bed. He has less lines attached to him than before. But he was still unconscious.

“He’s been awake,” Natasha’s tone was gentle. “And long enough to get one of the nurses numbers and be a pain in the ass.”

I grunted in response as I closed my eyes. I felt like I could go back to sleep for a month right now. 

“Hey,” Natasha pinched my arm. Hard. The pain jolted my eyes back open as I scowled at her. “Stay awake for a bit. Don’t you want to know what happened? It’s a good story. You need to hear it before Coulson kills us.”

“So tell,” I wasn’t sure how long I’d stay awake. But I was curious and mostly with it enough to listen to what happened over the last 10 days. Or however long it’d been now. It took me a long moment to realise it was dark outside. The lights were still on in the room keeping it bright. So much for Natasha saying the sun was up.

“So,” Natasha pulled her feet up into the chair so she was sitting cross legged. “After we got back and you and Clint passed out, there was a bit of minor chaos. The whole place and us had to be quarantined and scrubbed for radiation. That made Coulson happy and Fury live up to his name. Thanks for passing out on me by the way. It was great dealing with them all by myself.”

I cringed. Poor Natasha. I didn’t envy her at all. The smirk fell away from her face quickly as she started to remember what came next.

“You and Clint got rushed to surgery,” Natasha absently twirled a piece of hair around her finger. “So did Jared. Clint came out first and then you. Jared’s surgery took a lot longer.”

I looked over to my still sleeping twin. His brown was furrowed, like he was concentrating hard on something in his sleep. His face was turned towards me. His face was still a few mottled shades of green and yellow from faded bruising. But there wasn’t anything that was going to leave a scar. He kept his pretty boy looks. I turned back to face Natasha as she started speaking again. 

“He’s a bit fucked up Kari,” Natasha’s voice shook as she tugged at her hair a little harder. She wouldn’t meet my eyes. “He’s going to be fine now, but it really was touch and go for a few days. What she did was beyond torture.”

Natasha looked away from me, her hair shielding me from seeing her face. It took her a few moments to look at me again. I expected her to slip into Black Widow mode. But she didn’t. The way she looked at me made my heart ache. She looked so very young and vulnerable right now. Her own expression probably mirrored my own. It wasn’t just Jared that was lucky to be alive. It was a very close brush with death we all just had. 

“Fractured skull, 6 broken ribs, punctured lung from one of them,” Natasha’s voice cracked as she listed off his injuries. “Massive internal bleeding, bruised spleen, lacerated liver. All fingers dislocated. Ankle put back together with screws and a plate. DVT, pneumonia and a horrid infection on top of it all. They replaced his blood volume 3 times. It’s a miracle he's still here.”

Natasha shook her head looking haunted.

“I shouldn’t have ever let him get dragged into this mess,” she whispered. “No one would have gotten hurt if I told him no when he asked to come with me the first time.”

“We could have gotten hurt on any mission Tasha,” I said gently. “You know that better than I do. I’m going to punch some sense back into you once I can raise my hand. Why is Jared in here?”   
I needed to change Natasha’s frame of mind. My brain wasn’t working well enough to deal with her feeling guilty. It really wasn’t her fault. Jared would have done this regardless of what anyone else had said or done. He was an arrogant shit like that. There was no noble gesture behind him going after Yelena alone. It was just him wanting to notch in his belt for taking down someone from the Red Room. 

“That was your fault,” Natasha blew a stray curl out of her eyes. “What’s the first thing you remember?”

“Falling out of bed and having Evans in the room in full tactical gear,” even now I wasn’t sure of that was a dream or not. It was a blur of images in my head. “Was the real?”

“Yes it was,” Natasha’s face momentarily tightened in anger. She had to take a deep breath before she could continue. “You weren’t imagining things that night either. Yelena really was there in your rooms. They’ve kept a STRIKE team here at all times just in case she shows up again.”

I could only stare in response, horrified at what Natasha had just said.

“She was just there to gloat, to prove she could find Jared at any time and toy with him,” Natasha clenched her jaw. I could see the muscles working in her face as she spoke. “She’s long gone now. I would have gone after her myself but Jared got worse, much worse after that. So did you.”

I had no memory beyond the muddles bits and pieces of sentences I thought I heard. I just looked at Natasha waiting for the pieces of the puzzle to fall into place.

“Any time something happened with Jared you’d start screaming,” Natasha went back to playing with her hair. “And lashing out at anyone that tried to help. When your infection got worse, like Jared’s, you were a bit delirious. You kind of broke Rumlow’s nose and had most of the medical staff here terrified of you.”

“Fuck,” I couldn’t think of much else to say to that. I had no memory of any of that. “What do you mean when anything happened to Jared?”

Natasha opened and closed her mouth a few times. The inner turmoil on her face was clear as she wrestled with what she was trying to say. 

“Your Mother is going to kill me,” Natasha muttered before clearing her throat. “So is Coulson, Laura and everyone else. They weren’t going tell you this. There was a few times Jared nearly didn’t make it. There were just so many complications and no one was confident he was going to pull through.”

Natasha’s voice sounded a look stronger than she was currently looking. What a nightmare she must have been living in. She was very much alone with all this going on around her. I really hoped she’d had someone there to help her out. Not that Natasha would have wanted help. But the thought of her dealing with Jared nearly dying myself nearly brought me to tears.I blinked them away quickly. She wouldn’t want me to get sentimental on her now. Not until she finished with the facts and figures. It’s how she compartmentalised everything. Fact and figures before emotions.

“The doctors told your parents a few times to prepare for the worst,” Natasha’s eyes looked suspiciously bright. She blinked a lot more than normal while she was speaking. “They even nearly called it once, but he came back. That time when he came back neither of you would stop calling for each other. So your Mom got you moved into the same room. From there you both stabilised and improved dramatically. ”

I shivered as a cold chill hit my body. Part of me didn’t want to believe what Natasha was saying. But another part that was buried deep in my mind knew it was the truth. There was one small thing nagging at me.

“Were we holding hands?”

“Yeah, made life difficult because neither of you wanted to let go,” Natasha’s face softened. Her gaze drifted from me over towards Jared. “A twins bond is such a strange thing. In this case whatever connection you two have, I’m just very glad you have it.”

“Me too,” I turned my head to look at Jared again. His brow had smoothed out in his sleep. He looked peaceful for someone who had more near death experiences in the last 2 weeks than anyone else would have in their lives. I turned back to Natasha after a minute of staring at my twin. “You look tired.”

“Shove over then,” Natasha kicked her shoes off. She pushed the button so I was laying flat again. I did as I was told, I wiggled over as much as I could in the small bed. It was a tight fit, but Natasha managed to cuddle up to my side. Comforted by her presence, I fell asleep again straight away. 

“Kari,” a male voice drawing out my name dragged me back semi awake. The smell of coffee wafting right under my nose made my eyes snap open. It smelt amazing and nauseating all at the same time. I looked over to the source of the voice and smell

“Good morning princess,” Clint grinned widely. He looked thrilled that his little plan of waking me up just worked. “Want some?”

“I’m not sure if I want to drink it or the smell makes me want to puke,” I reached up, wiggling my fingers at Clint to try and get the coffee cup to come to me. “Should you be out of bed?”

“Nope,” Clint’s grin grew even wider. He moved the coffee cup out of my reach. I dropped my hand with a serious pout. “As a matter of fact, the door was locked and I was supposed to be strapped down. But I was bored.”

“Why do I find myself not surprised at all,” I felt a smile tugging at my lips. I actually felt coherent for the first time in ages. I still hurt all over, but it wasn’t as bad as before. “Where’s Nat?”

“Gone to get real food,” Clint sank into the chair next to me. His face was pale and drawn, not unlike Natasha’s had been. But he looked happy. Something we could all do with around here. “Someone wants cheeseburgers even though he’s meant to be on liquids only still.”

“I can’t have vodka or sex, so a cheeseburger is the next best thing.”

Jared’s raspy voice made me bolt upright. I was half out of the bed before I could stop myself.

“Easy, not a great idea,” Clint grabbed me before I could get any further. He pulled me back onto the bed. I couldn’t focus on anything but Jared next to me. He was laying flat still, but had his head turned to me. Our beds had been pushed closer together than last time I was awake. We were close enough to touch. 

“Hey,” I grabbed Jared’s hand so hard he hissed in pain. “Sorry.”

“Just mind the 2 broken fingers there,” Jared joked. I gave him a withering look. From the long list of injuries he had 2 broken fingers were the least of his worries. He looked exhausted and drained, but seeing him awake and talking nearly brought me to tears. Everything Natasha said came rushing back to me all at once. I could feel myself tearing up straight away. There was no forcing back the lump in my throat or the moisture in my eyes.

“Kari I swear to god if you cry I’m going to teleport away and never come home,” Jared tried to be joking, but even his voice cracked a little. “Seeing Mom cry was bad enough.”

I laughed through the few tears that escaped. On the other side of me, Clint was squeezing my hand really hard. I was grateful for the silent support. 

“These tears are from a lack of caffeine,” I lied reaching up to rub my face with my free hand. I’d hold back my emotions until later. “Someone decided to wake me up with waving coffee under my face.”

“And you have no idea how damn good this coffee is,” Clint teased. I turned back to scowl at him. Silent support or not, I’d kill him for tormenting me with coffee. I really couldn’t care less if I was going to throw it straight back up. It just smelt so damn good. Clint grabbed the remote and pushed my bed into an upright position. Before I could get snappy with him, a second coffee cup was shoved into my hands. 

“Drink it quickly so I can dispose of the evidence,” Clint looked extremely guilty and smug all at once. I wanted to ask him how he managed to get out of his room and find Starbucks. But I also really didn’t want to know so I could claim ignorance once Coulson found us.

The first sip of coffee felt like it was the best thing I’d ever tasted in my life. The feeling of the still warm coffee laced with a generous amount of vanilla was almost orgasmic. I moaned in delight and drank as much as I could in one breath. 

“I’m feeling vaguely disgusted that you sound like you’re getting turned on by coffee,” Clint joked. “And mildly impressed it hasn’t made a reappearance just yet.”

“Give it a minute,” Jared said grumpily from the other side of the room. It was followed by a groan of pain. “I really, really want to sit up. Laying down is killing my back.”

“Just your back hey?” Clint said with no small amount of snark in his voice. “It wouldn’t have anything to do with the stitches and plates holding your body together at the moment? Last I heard the amount of stitches holding you together was a new record in SHIELD.”

“You should know, it was your record,” Jared shot back. “Remind me again who’s the one who snuck out for Starbucks when he’s supposed to be laying flat on his back as well.”

“I got bored,” Clint was watching me with a small grin. “Unlike some other people, I can handle my sedation and don’t need 2 days to come out of it properly.”

Shit, had it been 2 days since I was awake last? The conversation with Natasha felt like it’d only been a few minutes ago. But the sun shining outside betrayed the time difference. It could have been days for all I knew. 

“No, it’s early morning, Natasha was in here last night,” Clint must have read the expression on my face. His teasing grin fell away to a softer and more genuine smile. “It was about 2 days ago when you had a conversation with your Mom. Do you remember it?”

“Why did you get a conversation and I got yelled at?” Jared sounded like a whining child as he cut into the conversation. “Then Mom cried and made me feel all kinds of guilty. Laura slapped me.”

“Good you deserve it,” I rolled my eyes. “And yes I do remember talking to Mom. Where is she?”

“Went for a shower and a nap hopefully,” Clint explained. “She’s pretty exhausted. Your Dad is with her. Coulson ducked home for a change of clothes too. Hence how I was able to sneak out.”

Everyone would be pretty exhausted by now. Jared wasn't the only one feeling guilty. I snuck a glance over to my twin who was still laying flat on his back. He’d lost the rest of the machinery attached to him since I was awake last. He was staring at the ceiling looking moody. 

“Why don’t you sit up?” I suggested to Jared in a small hope of cheering him up. Beside me Clint cringed. Oops bad idea. The glare Jared sent me would have made Natasha shake in her boots. 

“Apparently being stitched from neck to navel is enough to keep me on my back for a few more days,” Jared said sullenly. “On the bright side, the scar on my stomach has nothing on what this new scar is going to look like.”

“You never told me what that scar was from,” I tilted my head in question. I hadn’t seen it until I had to go to the charity dinner with Jared months ago. It wasn’t something I ever remembered to bring up in casual conversation either. 

“A Yakuza boss’ son took great offence to the fact I didn’t want to sleep with him,” Jared’s said dryly. The sullen and moody look was gone from his face, replaced but a lopsided smile. “Never piss off a Japanese guy who can use a sword quicker than you can shoot.”

“I’ll keep that in mind for future missions, thank you,” I returned the lopsided smile. “Don’t worry, chicks dig scars. I’m sure your harem won’t mind.”

“I don’t think I’m going to be up for my harem any time soon,” Jared groaned as he tried to shift. “Fuck me, this mattress sucks. I want to go home to my nice orthopaedic mattress. Or at least be allowed to sit up. Come on Clint, you like breaking the rules. Please put my bed upright.”

“Fine. When you bust open all your stitches and your intestines start coming out, don’t bitch to me,” Clint warned. He got up rather stiffly and limped heavily to Jared’s bed. It took him a full minute of leaning on the bed before he could do what Jared asked. Once Jared was sitting upright, Clint didn’t bother trying for the chair. He just collapsed to the floor, sweating heavily and clutching at his hip.

“Now who’s over done it?” Jared looked down to the floor with a worried look. “Are you dying on us down there Barton?”

“No I feel great,” the strain in Clint’s voice was clear. With a muffled groan he rolled over onto his back and stretched out. It was amusing to see him dressed in flannel pyjama pants and baggy grey t-shirt. He looked like a middle aged suburban house dad in clothes like that. He might have even be able to pull it off it was wasn’t for his bulging biceps and washboard abs peaking out from underneath the hem of the shirt. 

“Yeah you look great too,” I couldn’t stop my sarcastic comment. I took another long drink of coffee as Clint gave me the finger. Jared snickered quietly. He didn’t look much better than Clint. Sweat was pouring off him and his face was pinched from the pain. Not that he’d say anything about it. To be honest, I wasn't feeling much better. Sitting up made my entire torso hurt. My ribs felt bruised and the skin around the wound on my thigh was pulling uncomfortably. My arm hurt as well. I could see the long line where Yelena had slashed at me. The stitches were out but it still itched and ached. I dared to sneak a look at my thigh as well, pulling the hospital blanket aside and hiking up the nightgown I had on. 

What met me was a disappointment. I don’t know what I expected. But the red puckered line still held together was stitches wasn’t one of them. The wound looked neat and had no signs of it being anything sinister. There was some faint bruising still around it, mostly yellow now. It was going to be one hell of a scar if anything else. 

The door swinging open made me look up. Natasha strode into the room carrying 2 Burger King bags. The smell of cheeseburgers and bacon wafted up, hitting me right in the face. It smelt just as good as the coffee had. 

“Who loves me?” she announced holding up the bag. She looked between Jared and I were a raised eyebrow. “Wow, good to see you both conscious and sitting up. Where did the coffee come from?”

I pointed to where Clint was still lying on the floor. Natasha frowned and stepped around so she could see around the bed. 

“Over do it a bit did we Barton?” Natasha asked dryly. “You said you’d stay in your bed if I brought you cheeseburgers.”

“I lied,” Clint threw an arm over his eyes. “I can’t sit in that bed for another minute longer. I’m going crazy.”

“Your funeral,” Natasha shrugged. She walked over to my bed and dropped one of the bags in my lap. “I suggest you make it back there before Coulson finds you though.”

“Too late.”

The 4 of us looked to the door in horror. Coulson was standing in the doorway, arms crossed looking very unamused. Even in slacks and a casual shirt, Coulson made a formidable looking picture. I was suddenly wishing I was unconscious again. Or blown up in Pripyat. As Coulson frowned at each of us in turn.When it came my turn for him to glare at me I was really wishing for being blown up. Coulson stalked into the room, slamming the door behind him. 

Coulson threw what looked like a book at Jared. It hit him square in the head with a loud thump. Jared yelped in surprise, before swearing and rubbing where the book hit him.

“That is a SHIELD manual that you should know inside out by now,” Coulson’s voice sounded eerily calmly, despite his resting murder face. “The manual for Operations. Inside is a few lovely paragraphs about what happens when an agent goes off book. It doesn’t include sending in my team, blowing up half of an abandoned radioactive city and nearly getting yourselves killed in the process.”

“Technically you didn’t send them in,” Jared started. Coulson cut him off with a glare and holding one finger up. With that glare, I don’t think any of us were game to breath in case Coulson’s wrath turned on us. 

“The reason we can go off book is because there’s a book in the first place,” Coulson looked like he was itching to throw something else at Jared. “There’s a system in place and you should trust the system. If you want to go off and do your own lone gun slinger thing the resignation papers are right here in my pocket. There’s also half of the Specialists out there who really don’t like you who are going to be more than willing to hunt you down when you do something to piss SHIELD off.”

“I would like to see them try,” Jared muttered sullenly. He was looking down at his lap, picking at what was left of his fingernails. It wasn’t much. He only had his right thumbnail and left index nail left from what I could see. 

“And I have half a mind to let a select few of them at you just to teach you a lesson,” Coulson’s voice raised a little. “There aren’t a lot of people who’d miss you Jared.”

“Coulson that’s…”I stupidly opened my mouth. I didn’t get very far before he cut me off as well.

“You don’t get an opinion here Kari,” Coulson’s ire turned on me. “You’re barely an agent and only have the seniority and clearance because of the people you work with. You don’t really know any better, buts thats the only time you get to use that as an excuse. Sit there and shut up.”

Gladly. I swallowed back any words that I wanted to say. I didn’t even want to think them just in case Coulson had developed mind reading powers in the last 2 weeks. Even Natasha winced at the words thrown at me. 

“Luckily for you, your punishment isn’t up to me,” Coulson swung right back to Jared. “This one is going straight to Fury who’s going to decide your fate. He’ll be here in about 5 minutes.”

Natasha tried to discreetly sneak out of the room. She’d been doing such a good job while Coulson was having a tirade at Jared that she nearly made the door.

“And Natalia,” Coulson spun around to face her. She stopped dead in her tracks, frozen mid stride. Coulson using her proper name was definitely not a good sign. “You better have a damn good explanation about this not being your own revenge mission. I stuck my neck out for you when your last run in with Yelena, promising not only Fury but the World Security Council that this wouldn’t be a problem. And now between fixing this mess and them breathing down my neck yet again, I also have to FSB making noise at me about handing you over.”

If Natasha wasn’t already pale, I’d say she would have lost all colour in her face at Coulson’s tirade. We were in so much trouble. I wouldn’t be surprised if we were all jobless by the end of this conversation. Or assigned to something we really, really didn’t want to do.

“At the moment your service record for SHIELD is the only thing I have to keep you here,” Coulson scowled. “Right now your back to square one, just like when Barton brought you in. If there’s so much as a breath that’s out of line in the next 6 months, I’ll be the least of your troubles.”

Natasha’s tight nod was the only thing she seemed to dare to do. I didn’t doubt the force behind Coulson’s words. From the little I knew of the World Security Council they would look for every opportunity to rid themselves of any problem that may bite them in the ass later. Natasha had a lot of potential to be a big problems if she didn’t toe the line. I could feel the guilt practically dripping off Jared at what Coulson just said. I snuck a quick look at him. His ears were bright red and there was a flush of embarrassment steadily creeping up his neck. At least he was feeling guilty and not smug about the problems he’d just caused. 

“In our defence Coulson, you did tell us to be careful,” Clint grumbled from his position on the floor. “We were careful. No one is dead.”

I looked down at him, impressed and horrified at the same time. If anyone could get away with being surly to Coulson, it’d be Clint.

“You went into a restricted area and blew up a school,” Coulson argued back. “Tell me how is that being careful?”

“Technically it was Yelena who blew up the school,” Clint didn’t sound deterred at all. If anything he sounded smugly proud of his argument. Natasha was behind me, frantically shaking her head at him. Clint either didn’t see her, or wasn’t getting the picture. Or he didn’t care. Any of those points could have been it knowing Clint.

“You know what,” Coulson scoffed with a rather sinister smile. “I’m not going to yell at you Clint. I’m not going to be drawn into your bullshit game where you bend the rules and talk your way around everything. You’ve got enough problems on your plate with not talking to your wife for the last week. I have to say, you’ve had something really stupid foot in mouth moments but this one really took the cake. And no, you’re not sleeping on my couch this time. Grow the fuck up and deal with it like a responsible adult for once in your life.”

That shut Clint up instantly. His teeth snapped together so quickly I could hear them click in his mouth. What the hell had Clint said for him and Laura to have such a big argument? I wasn’t game to open my mouth and ask. It sounded like something we’d have to talk about over a bottle of scotch instead of cheeseburgers and coffee. 

“When I say be careful it means exactly that,” Coulson’s rant continued. “Be careful. Don’t go blowing things up. Don’t get shot, stabbed or get radiation poisoning. If you’re doing something on restricted foreign soil a quiet heads up would be nice. Not the first thing I hear about what you’re doing is Jared being resuscitated in the ED waiting room.”

Coulson took a few seconds to glare at us again once he needed to take a breath. It wasn’t enough to get in anything to defend ourselves. Not that I was going to be stupid enough to open my mouth again. I was more than happy to sit here with my mouth shut firmly. I had a feeling if I didn’t then I’d be flying supply trips to Siberia for the rest of my life. 

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy all of you are alive. But this wasn’t meant to be a fireworks show. You guys have no idea about how much paperwork and stress this has caused on so many levels. Not just for me, but your Mom as well.”

Coulson looked between Jared and I with another glare. If that wasn’t a warning to be nice to our Mom, I don’t know what was. The stress we just put her and Dad through would have aged them considerably. 

“We had to close down the emergency room of one of the busiest hospitals in DC until everything could be declared radiation free. Keeping a STRIKE team here on site has pissed off so many people I can’t even keep track of them all anymore. Do you know how twitchy doctor’s get when they have to have an armed grunt in the room with them at all times?”

If it was Laura she’d probably tell most of the armed grunts off. Or take the sidearm for herself and tell whoever it was to fuck off. Unfortunately, most doctors weren’t like Laura. From what Coulson had said earlier to Clint, it didn’t sound like she’d be visiting either.

“You’re all lucky that your on SHIELD’s shit list high enough that we won’t just fire you for this. But it’s been a close call. And for the rest of your ass kicking and to find out your fate here comes Director Fury.”

We’d all been too busy awkwardly fidgeting with our own nervous habits to see the dark figure of Fury come down the hallway. Just as Coulson finished his sentence, Fury came in the door. With a grace I had no idea Coulson possessed, he slipped out the door just before Fury slammed it shut. Fury put enough force into slamming the door that the windows rattled. 

I felt like a naughty kid that just got pulled up in front of the Headmaster at school. What’s worse if Fury didn’t say anything. He just stood there, arms crossed and staring down at each of us. I suppose this was it. The supply run to Siberia was sounding more and more like it was going to be the best case scenario. Maybe I should have just taken the offer of being thrown in the Fridge when everything first happened. It would have been a lot easier than the path I’d been on to get to this moment. 

“Did Coulson have his rant and tirade at all of you?” Fury asked calmly after what felt like an eternity of silence. 

I could only nod. Jared, Clint and Natasha all managed a mumbled ‘Yes Sir.’ 

“Then I have nothing further to add,” Fury’s one good eye swept around the group. “Consider yourselves suitability chastised. Romanoff, I have an assignment to discuss with you when you come back to work on Monday. The rest of you, I don’t want to see for the next 6 weeks. At least. That’s all.” 

With a dramatic swirl of coat he disappeared as quickly as he came. We all watched his figure retreat down the hallway in complete silence. It wasn’t until he was well out of sight Jared spoke up.

“Well,” Jared looked around at all of us. “That went better than expected.”

Natasha was the first to start chuckling. It broke down into full laughter in a few seconds. The rest of us joined in just after her. It hurt but it didn’t stop my laughing until I had tears running down my face from pain and laughter.

It definitely felt good to be alive.


	46. Chapter 46

_I knew I was dreaming. I had to be. None of this was real. But no matter how much I wanted to squeeze my eyes shut and force it away, it just wouldn’t work for me._

_Riley was standing in front of me. Alive, smiling and holding out his hand._

_“Hey gorgeous,” he said softly. “I missed you.”_

_My hand flew up to my mouth to stop the gasp escaping from my mouth. No matter how much I tried to stop them, tears formed in my eyes._

_“You’re not real,” I managed to choke out._

_“Yeah, yeah you’ve said that to me so many times,” Riley laughed, his entire face lighting up in amusement. How I missed that look on his face. His green eyes would sparkle like gems when he was really amused. I could get lost in that gaze of his. “I’m such a perfect boyfriend that I can’t be real. Then you grump at me for not putting my coffee mug in the dishwasher when I’m finished with it.”_

_“Then put your mug in the dishwasher,” I laughed weakly. I couldn’t stop myself. I reached forward and put my hands on his chest. He was warm and firm under my palms. Riley brought his arms around me, pulling me into a bone crushing hug._

_“God I’ve missed you so much,” Riley breathed into my hair. “Syria sucked. I have sand in places I didn’t know I could get sand.”_

_I threw my arms around Riley’s neck, pulling myself against his body as close as I could get. I could feel his heart beating in a steady rhythm against my chest. He was warm, alive and here. I forced my eyes closed and willed myself not to cry. To just enjoy the moment while it lasted._

_“How’s our gorgeous little girl?” one of Riley’s hands slide around to rest on my stomach._

_I pulled away enough to look down between us. Sure enough there was a small bump in the way. My own hand flew down to my stomach, resting over Riley’s. I could feel something, like butterflies dancing against my skin but on the inside of me. It was the strangest sensation. Riley’s face lit up even more with joy at the movement. I should have been shocked, my somehow it felt so strangely right._

_“Learning to tap dance,” the words left my mouth before I could really process what was happening. “She’s going to be an active one.”_

_“Just like her Mom,” Riley’s free hand came up to tilt my head up to look at him. He looked so happy. Like nothing could ruin this moment we were having. If I could freeze time, this would be one moment I would. It was just perfect. “Did I tell you how much I love you?”_

_Riley didn’t give me a chance to reply. His lips crashed down onto mine. There was nothing sweet or gentle about the kiss. It was filled with passion, desire and longing. Like he was putting every emotion he had right behind it. My entire body felt like it was on fire from the passion behind that kiss._

_It ended abruptly as Riley suddenly pulled himself away. His hands went to grab at his side and he grimaced in pain._

_“Riley?” I frowned at his reaction._

_Riley’s face went pale as he looked back to me. His hands came away sticky with blood. He was suddenly jerked backwards and hit the ground hard. Looming over him was Yelena. She had a bloody knife in her hand._

_“Pathetic,” her face pulled in a sneer. “All that power given to you and you can’t even protect the person you love the most in this world.”_

_I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe, blink or do anything. It was like I was frozen on the spot._

_“Kari,” Riley’s pained voice reached me. But I couldn’t look down to see him. “Don’t listen to her.”_

_“You could have killed me in the blink of an eye,” Yelena casually flipped the knife into her other hand. “And all this wouldn’t be on you.”_

_She stepped aside to reveal a pile of bodies. There were so many all stacked on top of each other. Every single person I cared about was in that pile staring back at me with lifeless eyes. Everyone was there. Jared. My parents. Clint, Natasha and Coulson. Laura and the kids. Bravo team. Even Abby and Alexi. No one was spared. All dead stacked upon each other. The blood was running like a river on the floor. There was so much of it. It felt like it was pooling all the way up to my ankles. I couldn’t look down to see. The only thing I could see was Yelena staring at me._

_“You’re weak,” Yelena scoffed. “And pathetic. You’ll never be like the people you work with. You don’t deserve to be in their presence, let alone what they consider a team. You don’t have to guts to do what needs to be done. But I do.”_

_Yelena reached around and pulled out a Glock from behind her. She cocked it and aimed it away from me. My eyes tried to follow it but I was still frozen on the spot. I knew exactly where she was aiming it though. I was screaming at my body to move, to do something than stand here uselessly. I couldn’t even move my mouth._

_“He’s all you have left,” Yelena’s smile was cold as her finger inched towards the trigger. “If I kill him you’ve lost everything.”_

_“Use your powers Kari,” Riley’s voice sounded so weak and far away. I could barely hear him over the pounding of my heart. “Just kill the bitch. Don’t let it end like this. We’re going to have a daughter, don’t let me die without seeing her.”_

_I fumbled in my mind, grasping for the feel of the moisture in the air. For something to help fuel my power and do exactly that. But I had nothing. I couldn’t feel any moisture, not even in my own body. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t even feel the tingle of my power no matter how hard I tried. There was nothing I could do._

_Yelena stood there for long moments with her head cocked to the side, just watching me. A smile crept onto her face that chilled me to the core._

_“Pathetic.”_

_The sound of a gunshot echoed loudly around the room._

I shot upright gasping for breath, my hands reached for under the bed before I was really awake. I felt my fingers close around the P30 Natasha had hidden under there for me. The feel of the cool and rough grip wiped away any traces of sleep still lingering in my mind. A dream. Just a horrible dream.

I fell back against my pillow squeezing my eyes shut. Tears were pouring down my face no matter how hard I tried to squeeze them away. That was a new nightmare. I’d never dreamt of Riley since he died. It just reopened that old wound, making the grief as fresh as the day he died. My free hand went down to my stomach, feeling for the bump that I’d felt in my dream. It was flat, like it should be. It had all felt so real. Every last detail of him had been just like I remembered him. The feel of his arms around me. The smell that was just him. The feel of his lips against mine. The kiss had been exactly as I remember how his kisses felt. I missed him so much it felt like it physically hurt still. Every bit of progress that I thought I’d made felt like it’d just all flown out the window. That dream just mangled everything from the last 4 months together in one horrible mess. Though it was hard to believe it’d been 4 months now.

I struggled to keep my breathing under control as I lay there crying. I rolled over onto my stomach and pulled the pillow over my head to keep the noise to a minimum. I tightened my grip on the P30 until I could barely feel my fingers. Jared and I were still sharing a hospital room. Clint had been moved in here as well after his little escape attempt. It’d been 3 weeks since I’d woken up properly and Coulson chewed us all out for all the problems we’d caused. Since then it’d been a whirlwind of doctors and therapists. What no one tells you is when you’re in what could be considered a medical coma for 2 weeks is all your muscles start to atrophy. I thought I’d be up and walking in a day and home in another few. After all, I was young and fit. A leg stab wound shouldn’t bother me that much.

How wrong I was. 3 weeks later and I could only just manage to hobble to the toilet and back before I was out of breath or in too much pain to function. I could make it halfway down the hallway with crutches, but even that left me exhausted. My thigh ached from the stab wound nearly constantly. The knife had done some significant muscle damage and been driven into my leg hard enough to chip my thigh bone. The dose of radiation poisoning we had been enough to lay anyone up in bed for a few weeks. I felt constantly weak and exhausted. I’d never slept so much in my life.

Which came back to my current problem. With sleep came horrific nightmares of what happened in Pripyat. It was usually my mind skewing what happened that night. Most of it was just us not making it out of there. Or not getting to Jared in time. Those I could deal with because I could stumble over to Jared’s bed to reassure myself he was still alive. Clint as well. Andrew had been around the moment I could stay awake long enough to speak for 5 minutes. It helped a little to talk things through about what happened. But I couldn’t bring myself to really open up about all of this. It was easier to just try and push it all into the back of my mind and keep it locked away. I wanted to do something. I just needed to get out of this bed. Despite the constant stream of visitors, it was stifling boring.

The nightmare I just had really hit home with how I was feeling about how everything went down. I just couldn’t stop kicking myself over letting Yelena live. I had my powers for a reason. I could have frozen Yelena solid in about 2 seconds. Or shot her in the head as soon as I walked into that room. She wouldn’t have had enough time to hit the kill switch on her bomb. All of this could have been avoided if I’d just been a stronger person and pulled the trigger.

This felt like Afghanistan all over again. I hated the feeling that I didn't belonged here. Except this time it was a mistake that could have killed all of us. The guilt I was feeling felt like it was a constant weight on my chest. I was slowly being suffocated by it. But I just couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone. Maybe Natasha had rubbed off on me a little too well. I managed to spin enough bullshit to keep Andrew off my back about my feelings. Mom wasn’t fooled though. But she was so torn between being at the hospital with us and trying to keep on top of work. It was easy to tell her that the guilt I was feeling was from worrying her so much. It seemed to mollify her for the moment.

“Kari?” Jared’s sleepy voice cut through my thoughts.

“Yeah?” I made my voice sound as even as possible. It wasn't the first time one of us had woken up from nightmares. Both Jared and Clint had woken me up a few times from their own. I’d woken up a few times to find Clint asleep with his head on my head, his hand gripping whatever part of my body he could touch. Jared’s bed was still close enough he could grab my arm if he needed as well. We’d both fallen asleep with our hands intertwined many times.

“You okay?” Jared’s voice was slurred and thick with sleep. He was still on some serious heavy duty painkillers, making him sluggish and irritable. I doubt he’d even remember this in the morning.

“Yeah just a dream,” I wiped my face on the sheets. “Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Kay,” Jared barely managed to finished the sentence before his breathing evened out again. Within a few seconds it sounded like he was fast asleep again.

It took me another few minutes to stop crying and pull myself back together. I shoved all the thoughts of me fucking up from my mind yet again. I kept trying to lock them away in a box in the far corners of my mind, but it always came back. I hated this. I hated feeling helpless and doubting myself every single time something happened to me. I knew part of me working with STRIKE Team Delta was sheer luck. Jared’s friendship with Clint and Natasha had probably been a bigger influence than what I’d liked to admit. But despite the nagging doubt always in the back of my head, I worked my ass off to do this. Day in and day out I pushed my body and mind to the limits, when I hit my limit I’d keep pushing past them. I wanted the bravery I felt in Professor Xavier’s office back. It’d been the first time in my life I’d felt it. I’d given anything to find that feeling again.

This was a horrible cycle. I didn’t want to go to sleep because of the nightmares always plaguing me. But I couldn't stay awake. I was still on some heavy duty painkillers which made me drowsy. I’d tried to get the doctor’s the back them off but the pain was still bad enough to need them. I reached over and grabbed my phone checking the time. It was 0330. Far too early to be awake. It was also too easy for anyone to come in and make me take painkillers to go sleep either.

I sighed and looked at the TV that was in front of our beds, pushed against the wall so it wasn’t in the way. I’m not sure who brought it in but it’d been a lifesaver. My laptop was here as well so it wasn’t like we were short on entertainment. But the 4 walls of the room seemed to be closing in far too much right now. My head was a mixed jumble of thoughts and emotions. I gripped the P30 a little tighter in my hand and swung my legs over the bed. In the darkness I fumbled around until I found my headphones on the bedside table. Sitting out in the corridor listening to music was going to be better than sitting in here.

My socked feet slid along the floor slowly as I crept over to the door. It was an awkward limp to make it there, but I managed without falling over. My thigh protested heavily after being made to move after being stationary for so long. I slid out into the brightly lit hallway in a dozen painful steps.

“What are you doing awake?” Natasha’s voice made me jump in surprise. I looked to the right, where her voice had come from. She was propped up against the wall, Glock sitting in her lap and one headphone dangling from her ear. She looked exhausted.

“Had a bad dream,” I hobbled over to her. She scooted over a little to make room for me. “What are you doing here?”

“Same thing,” Natasha gave me a strained smile. “Had a bad dream and had to make sure you were all still here.”

I slid down to sit next to her. Natasha scooted closer towards me so we were touching. It was only our shoulders, but the warmth from her body was comforting. Natasha had barely left the hospital the last few weeks. She was due to fly to California to start on an undercover mission soon. It was in the last stages of being finalised. There was a pretty good chance she wouldn’t be home for months once it all went ahead. Even thinking about it made me miss her already and she wasn’t even gone yet.

“Do you want to talk about yours?” Natasha asked after a long stretch of silence. Her question jolted me out of my train of though about her leaving.

“I probably want to talk about mine as much as you want to talk about yours,” I said trying to avoid thinking about my nightmare. It’d been so vivid and real. I swallowed back the lump in my throat as the feeling of Riley pressed up against my body came forward. With that train of thought came another lot of feelings that weren’t entirely unpleasant.

“Mine was Yelena had come back and taken all 3 of you,” Natasha’s quiet words were a surprise. There hadn’t been a flicker of hesitation to admitting her nightmare. “Now there’s no one here to guard you, I’m finding myself sitting outside this door for most of the night.”

After there had been no sight of Yelena for over 2 weeks, our guards had slowly dwindled to none. Part of it was SHIELD couldn’t spare the man power anymore. There’d been a few situations with the Ten Rings, the latest one being a ship in Aden. A STRIKE team was sent in to take the ship, but Tony Stark had seen fit to barge in, using his Iron Man suit. Just another long list of things Tony Stark had done in the last few months to try and prove that he was privatising world security. I’d heard about it from Mom and Coulson, now that he was speaking to us again.

“You could have at least brought something to drink if we’re sharing emotions,” I tried to joke with Natasha. My heart really wasn’t in a joking mood though. I just couldn’t think of anything to say to make that better. I couldn’t even sort out my own head.

She gave me an incredulous look before pulling a hip flask out of her jacket and handing it over to me. Right, how silly of me to think that she wouldn’t have anything. I took the offered flask and had a swig. The vodka made my eyes water and throat burn. But it made me feel warm on the inside. It was potent, my head spun nearly straight away as it hit my empty stomach.

“And that’s all you’re allowed to have until you tell me your nightmare,” Natasha snatched the flask back. I was too slow to even think about grabbing it back. It was enough bribery for me to start talking straight away. Or enough vodka mixed with painkillers making my tongue loose.

“I dreamt of Riley,” the tears gathered as soon as I said his name. “He was alive, I was pregnant and so happy. Then it all fell apart. Yelena stabbed him.”

Natasha wordlessly handed the flask back to me. I took a big swig to give myself some courage to continue. Her arm came to rest around my waist and she pulled me in close to her body.

“Everyone around me was dead,” I sniffed. “You, Jared, Clint, just everyone I know and love. She taunted me about not using my powers.”

Natasha hugged me even harder. Her head came to rest on my shoulder. I closed my eyes and took in a few shuddering breaths.

“I couldn’t move. It was like watching him die all over again. I was just there as a passenger unable to do anything,” a few tears slipped out despite my best attempts to hold them back. I quickly scrubbed them away. “She shot him and there wasn’t a fucking thing I could do.”

“You win,” Natasha said quietly. She buried her head into my shoulder before giving me another tight hug. I held onto her in our awkward embrace as much as I could. “Your dream sucks way more than mine.”

I let our a short laugh and shook my head. I took another swig of vodka before handing the flask back to Natasha.

“We’re all so fucked up aren’t we?” I reached up to wipe my face again. I had no doubts there’d be a nurse come storming down the hall soon and berate me for being out of bed. I really didn’t want to cause a drama with someone seeing me crying and thinking it was from pain.

“Yeah but we’re all fucked up together,” Natasha paused to take a long drink from her flask. “At least we still have each other.”

“That we do.”

Our little circle of support meant more to me than I could ever put into words.

“Does it get any easier?” I asked quietly. I hated and appreciated all at the same time that this mission wasn’t just rough for me. We were all struggling with inner demons on this.

“No,” Natasha cocked her head to the side and looked at me. I held her gaze as her green eyes swept over my face, as if searching for an answer. “But you learn to live with it. Some days are good. Others are shit. But we have each other for the days that are shit.”

“And today is definitely shit,” I reached for the flask again. Natasha looked at me and then back to the flask pursing her lips. It took a long moment for her to reach down and pull another flask out that was strapped to her ankle. She handed me the one that we’d already been drinking out of. It was nearly empty. But vodka and painkillers were going to knock me on my ass if I had to stand up anytime soon. I didn’t need much more alcohol.

“Today is really shit and it’s only just started,” Natasha took a swig from her new flask. “I really don’t want to go to California. But I think its part of Coulson’s master plan to keep me out of sight until a few more fires have been put out.”

“I really don’t want you to go either,” the pang of loneliness hit me again. “Do you know what you’re doing yet?”

“Going undercover at Stark Industries,” Natasha pulled a disgusted face. “He’s being reckless and overly so. Fury thinks something is going on and needs eyes on him.”

“Poor you,” I wrinkled my nose as well. “You’re really getting a spanking from the parents aren't you?”

“Just wait until you see what flights Coulson is going to give you when you get back,” Natasha looked at me with pity. “You’re going to be glad its summer because you’ll be do supply drops to the ends of the Earth.”

“I guess the Siberia run is calling me name,” I held back my groan. I shouldn’t complain. I could be in a lot more trouble than just a chewing out from Coulson. If he wanted me to do supply drops for the next 6 months then I’d do supply drops for the next 6 months. I wanted to stay in his good books more than ever. An angry Coulson was not something I wanted to see again any time soon.

“Is Laura speaking to you yet?” Natasha’s next question made me sigh heavily.

Laura wasn’t just pissed at Clint, she was pissed at all of us. She was furious at Jared for being such a moron and going off on his own. Natasha and I were just getting the frosty treatment because she thought one of us might have given her a heads up at least. Her and Clint had a full blown argument that turned into yelling and Laura storming out sometime while I was unconscious. What was actually said was a mystery to anyone, except Clint and Laura. But it’d been one hell of an argument according to Mom who came in just as Laura walked out. Laura had been very scarce in her visits. Natasha would bring the kids up to see us instead of Laura.

“Not really, I got a text yesterday and I woke up in the afternoon to see her leaving,” I sighed. Causing problems with Laura and Clint was the last thing I wanted to do in this world. “I really want to apologise for everything, but I don’t want to do it over text.”

“She’ll come around,” Natasha looked like she was trying to convince herself of that as well. “She always does when we do something stupid.”

Mom had said something similar when I talked to her about it. Here’s hoping she managed to convince Natasha of the same thing. Mom had been spending a lot of time with Natasha since it all went down. Natasha had only been in hospital for a week until she was discharged. Not that they really needed to bother discharging her. Natasha spent more time here than she did at her own apartment. She’d only been back at work if she absolutely had to go in for something.

“What else is on your mind?” Natasha broke through my thoughts.

“I need to work on my poker face don’t I?” I deflected with a half assed smile.

“So badly,” Natasha smiled, the tension in her face easing a little. “So what’s up?”

“I don’t know why I didn’t pull the trigger when I first saw her,” there was no point lying to Natasha. Even sick and injured, she’d punch me in the face if I tried. “I could have shot her or used my powers. But I didn’t. I just stood there and let my anger take over me, by then it was already too late.”

“Because you’re a good person,” Natasha’s answer made me stare at her. She just stared right back at me with a serious expression. “I’m not kidding Kari. You didn’t shoot her because you aren’t fucked up like the rest of us.”

I opened my mouth to argue with her. But no words came out.

“You had a relatively normal life right until the second you got pulled into Fury’s office and accepted his offer to join SHIELD,” Natasha pressed on. “Killing a person shouldn't be the first thing comes to your mind in a situation like that. Somewhere in the back of your mind, whether you knew it or not at the time, would be telling you pulling that trigger isn’t a good thing.”

“Would you have hesitated?”

“No, because I had that trained out of me,” Natasha took a quick drink from the flask. “In the Red Room we weren’t allowed to have any sorts of friendship, but a general camaraderie wasn’t exactly discouraged. It was a very strange line that we had. Yelena and I hated each other from the day we met. I would have gladly shot her many times over. Did I ever tell you about what they did before our final year of training?”

I shook my head. Natasha rarely spoke about the Red Room. Despite her telling me she didn’t care if I read about it in her file, I’d never looked at it. It still felt like a breach of her privacy. From the bits and pieces I knew, I wasn’t sure if I could stomach reading it all either.

“There was 50 of us left,” Natasha stopped to take another drink. “One night they pulled 5 of us out of bed, threw a bag over our heads and shoved us into the back of a truck. We drove for hours, it was so long that even I lost count of how many hours passed.”

Natasha had a far away look in her face as she spoke. I recognised that look a little too well. I’d caught myself doing it on more than one occasion. That look where you got so lost in a memory that everything else around you got drowned out to nothing.

“We were shoved out of the truck, a few bags thrown at us and then the instructors left,” Natasha’s voiced wavered a little. “We were dropped in the middle of nowhere. It was winter and none of us were dressed for the weather. In the bags there was enough supplies for one of us to survive and a gun with 4 bullets. The bag with the gun landed at my feet.”

My stomach clenched at Natasha’s words. I could easily see where this was going.

“I had no hesitation in shooting those other girls and making it back to the rendezvous point by myself. The only regret and disappointment I had was that Yelena wasn't in my group,” Natasha looked so caught up in the memory. She shook her head a little. “When you’ve had to do that as a 13 year old, the lines kind of get blurred on how you feel on shooting your worst enemy in the back of the head after she tortures one of your closest friends.”

“Have you ever wondered what your life would be if you hadn’t been in the Red Room,” I had nothing else to say at Natasha’s story. She was right in the fact that our lives were so different. The different paths we’d taken made us such different people.

“Sometimes,” Natasha’s face turned a little wistful. “But it’s only passing thoughts. If my life had taken a different path, I wouldn’t be here right now.”

Natasha gestured around the deserted corridor, a small smile graced her lips as she looked at me.

“Being here with you, Clint and Jared made all those years worth it,” Natasha’s quiet confession lightened my mood. “If I’d known the end result of all those years of pain, it would have made it easier. But we can’t always see the end road, the journey might be bumpy but it’ll get better.”

The little smile on her face as contagious as I smiled back at her. It made me feel a lot better than I had when I woke up. Natasha always had the right words to make me feel like my life could go on. Everything wasn’t fixed, but at least it wasn’t that overwhelming feeling of helplessness from before.

“And anytime you’re sitting there doubting you deserve to be part of STRIKE Team Delta, just remember this,” Natasha looked at me, the smile playing on her lips even more. “I haven’t been able to kill Yelena in the last 6 run ins with her. I’m Natasha Fucking Romanoff, the Black Widow, how do you think that makes me look?”

“No less terrifying,” I chuckled quietly. I swear Natasha could read my mind sometimes. She was right. My poker face really sucked.

“From the little bits Jared remembers he said you stood your ground and were ready to fight your way out of there,” Natasha looked so proud of me. “Thats a hell of a lot more than most people would do Kari. Especially in their first year of spy and assassin training 101.”

That made me laugh a little. I couldn’t believe that had slipped out. Clint’s smart ass humour seemed to be rubbing off on me. The smile on Natasha’s face dimmed a little as she watched my face carefully.

“We’re ok,” Natasha reached over pulled me into a tight hug. “All of us. No matter what we’ll get through this.”

“We will,” I hugged her back just as hard. “Thank you. I needed a girl talk.”

Not to mention I needed Natasha’s no bullshit approach to life right now. She didn’t lace the conversation with meaningless words or phrases. Everything was blunt and right to the point.

“Speaking of girl talk, is it bad all I want to do right now is get drunk and find someone for meaningless sex?” Natasha’s abrupt change of subject gave me a small laugh. Especially knowing the path of conversation this was going to lead down.

“Nope not bad at all, I’ll join you on the getting drunk part at least,” I pulled back from our hug. “Maybe you should ask Sam again for the meaningless sex?”

“I have,” Natasha looked a little guilty at her confession. “Several times now. But he’s the type of guy who needs a nice girl who can give him a normal relationship. Not just me fucking him and kicking him out once I’m done. Besides, I think you need some meaningless sex right now too. It’d be good for you.”

“I don’t know if I’m ready for that,” my smiled slipped away. It was only half a lie. Mentally I couldn’t wrap my head around having sex with someone else. But my body was definitely ready for some action again. After going from a very healthy sex life to nothing, my body was starting to protest quite heavily at the severe lack of action these days. Maybe soon, but not right now.

“I’ll continue having sex for both of us then,” Natasha chuckled quietly. She took another sip from the flask, tipping her head back a lot further than before.

I loved Natasha with things like this. As pushy as she could be, she always knew when to not pursue a subject. I thought she might have tried to push a little harder about this.

“Sam must have thought all his birthdays had come at once,” I gave Natasha a gentle nudge with my elbow. “What made you go there?”

“I blame it all on those shots at first,” Natasha outright grinned. All the tension from earlier melted from her face. “I wasn’t expecting anything out of the ordinary except a messy drunken fumble, but fuck me he was incredible.”

“Come on, you can’t tell me he was incredible without giving any details,” I repeated the same thing she threw at me when she wanted to know about Riley and I.

“Most guys that know me are so intimidated that they can barely function,” Natasha smirked. “I kissed him and at first he didn’t know what the hell to do. So I went to walk away to find someone else. Next thing I know he’s got me pinned up against the wall, kissing me.”

A faint scattering of pink dusted Natasha’s cheeks as she sat there smirking.

“Under that goofy personality, he’s rather dominant in bed,” Natasha laughed as she fanned herself. “And an absolute god with his tongue. He’s drive me right to the edge of the brink, leave me hanging and do it all over again until he had me begging. I’ve never cum so hard in my life. Next time he’s in gym clothes, check out everything below the belt. He’s rather gifted in that area too.”

“Oh my god,” I broke down into giggles, burying my face my hands. The solemn mood of before suddenly forgotten. “I didn’t need to know the last part. How do you think guys get so good with their tongues? Riley was amazing at going down on me as well, he’d happily do it for hours.”

My own cheeks warmed at that line of memories. There were so many happy memories attached to our bedroom activities. It was nice to remember something about Riley and not feel the pang of sadness that so often came with his name.

“I actually have no idea,” a thoughtful look crossed Natasha’s face. “You hear them bragging about sex all the time. But I don’t actually think I’ve heard guys sitting there swapping tips about how to get girls off.”

“Porn?” I suggested.

“When was the last time you watched porn?” Natasha snorted. “Its most definitely not geared towards the woman getting off.”

“Probably the last time someones phone was being passed around in the locker room and it got accidentally handed to me,” I laughed. That had been funny. It was one of the guys on Charlie team who’d handed the phone to me without looking who he was handing it to. It wasn’t until I burst out laughing he actually noticed who had the phone. “I have to say I’m not really a visual person, you’ve seen my collection of erotic novels.”

“You have best collection of trashy novels,” Natasha laughed with me. “I need to do another swap. I’ve read all of the ones I borrowed last time. Want me to bring some over?”

“Oh yeah because I really want to be sitting there reading sex novels in the same room as Hawk and my brother,” I wrinkled my nose at her offer. “I don’t even get any privacy in the shower.”

I’d fainted in the shower not long after I woke up, giving myself a good crack on the head. Ever since then I hadn’t been allowed to shower unless someone was in the room with me. Most of the time it was Natasha or Mom, but there’d been a few times nurses insisted I shower right there and then. I hated it with a passion. I was an adult and being treated like I couldn’t do something as simple as take a shower drove me insane.

“I promise I’ll turn my back if you need some alone time in the shower,” Natasha’s smirked again. “I’ll even put in earphones and bring you a vibrator if you want.”

“Best wingman ever,” I raised my flask to Natasha. “Tell me more about Sam.”

As our flasks clinked together, footsteps could be heard coming down the corridor. We were isolated down here for security purposes. The only people to come by were visitors or medical staff. Natasha and I both looked towards the sound. It was one of the younger doctors who was a regular on night shifts. Balanced in front of him was a tray of Starbucks and I spied a paper bag in his other hand.

“Are you here to kick me out again Greg?” Natasha flashed a charming smile. Her movements of hiding the flask were too quick for a normal person to follow. The one I had quickly got dropped behind my back while Greg was giving Natasha a long, suffering look of despair. He couldn’t hold it for long though. A few seconds later a smile was playing over his face.

“Yes because it works so well every other time. This time I thought I’d try another approach,” Greg lifted the tray of Starbucks a little. “Bribery.”

“Bribery is always appreciated,” Natasha’s flirty smile immediately softened the look on Greg’s face even further.

“And you should be in bed,” Greg turned to me. His eyes flicked downwards to my lap. I’d completely forgotten about my P30 being there. “But I have a feeling you’re just like your friend, so I brought you a hot chocolate as well.”

“Does it have marshmallows?” I asked trying not to grin too much. It seems someone knew me a little better than expected.

“It has marshmallows and whipped cream,” Greg seemed rather pleased with himself. He lowered himself onto the ground, setting the drinks tray in front of us. “And I brought brownies as well.”

The bag in his other hand was set next to the tray. I reached over and grabbed the bag. I would never say no to brownies. Whether they be home cooked or store brought. My appetite had been all over the place this week. Some days I’d be starving and other days I’d barely stomach jello. I took a brownie out, taking a tentative bite. The perfect combination of gooey chocolate and crunch melted in my mouth. My stomach didn’t protest about it either. I devoured the rest of the brownie in 2 bites.

“Yum,” I reached in the bag for another one, scoffing it down as well. “Where did these come from?”

“I made them,” Greg smiled over at me looking very pleased with himself. “When I’m stressed or procrastinating I bake. It doesn’t do my waistline any good.”

“You can’t tell,” the words fell out of my mouth before I could stop them. Next to me Natasha snickered at my lack of brain to mouth filter. It must be the vodka kicking in. Greg looked very fit under his clothes. Not in the insane way like most of the STRIKE guys were. But someone who definitely looked after his body. Combined with really dark brown hair and grey eyes, I’d consider him cute. He’d be in his late 20’s or very early 30’s.

“That’s because he does cycling marathons,” Natasha filled in. She had a little smirk on her face as she watched me out of the corner of her eye.

“And this just proves how many times I’ve come down here to find you after visiting hours,” Greg shook his head, though he looked amused. “But yes I do marathons. It's my other stress relief. What are you ladies talking about?”

“Sex,” Natasha said without any hint of embarrassment. “Wondering how guys actually learn to be good in bed.”

“Practice,” Greg laughed. He looked a little surprised at the bluntness of Natasha. “The same could be asked for girls.”

“I don’t think my opinion counts here,” I took a sip of my hot chocolate. It went down just as easily as the brownie. “I’ve worked with all guys for too long. They seem to love describing things, especially blow jobs, down to the very last detail. Its pretty easy to perfect a technique.”

“This is where I’m glad most of the guys at work are scared of me and I don’t hear that,” Natasha wrinkled her nose a little.

“Lucky you, I stick my hair up under a beanie and people who don’t know me assume I’m just a skinny guy,” I snorted in disgust. “The joys of having body like a pre pubescent boy.”

“At least you have a pretty face,” Greg looked like was regretting those words the second they left his mouth. “I mean you have a nice body too, but….”

Natasha and I both stared at him while he fumbled around trying to fix the situation. I was using every bit of self control I had no to laugh at him. Next to me Natasha was quivering from her own silent amusement.

“Yes you’re thin but,” Greg looked absolutely exasperated and really embarrassed. His entire face was going red as he looked between Natasha and I. “Fuck it, I’m just making this worse aren’t I?”

Natasha and I nodded at the exact same time My face was starting to hurt from keeping my amusement contained. I cracked first, laughter spilling from my mouth. Natasha laughed only a second after me. It didn’t help Greg, he only seemed to get more embarrassed as we laughed at him.

“Great,” he grumbled. “I’m going to have to watch my back now aren’t I? Otherwise one of you are going to sneak up behind me and strangle me with some dental floss.”

“Nah dental floss isn’t strong enough,” Natasha stopped laughing and immediately gave him a serious expression. “Though if you were wearing a tie, I could use that.”

“Sorry I’m only a lowly first year Resident,” Greg didn’t look at all relieved. “No tie until I actually finished my next thousand years of study and might actually become a Doctor before I turn 50.”

“And be in debt until you’re 100,” I tried to lighten the mood. The poor guy might actually spend the rest of our hospital stay looking over his shoulder otherwise.

“I’m going to need to work until I’m 100 to pay off my student loans,” Greg relaxed a little. Natasha buried her face in her own brownie and hot chocolate to hide a smug little smile. I’d have to harass her later about that smile. I had a feeling I’d just walked into something Natasha had been plotting.

“What are you going to specialise in?” I asked, curiosity starting to get the better of me. Greg was a fairly regular face, especially on the night shift. We had all the same doctors and nurses on rotation due to SHIELD needing to give them clearance to work with us.

“Orthopaedics,” Greg reached into the paper bag and pulled out a brownie. “So another 5 years on top of the 8 years of study I’ve just done.”

“So my brother’s leg must fascinate you?” my question made Greg’s face light up in obvious glee.

“The orthopaedic surgeon was nice enough to show me before and after x-rays,” Greg tried to hide his enthusiasm. “I know its terrible what happened, but it was a fascinating break.”

Greg launched into a detailed description about the mess made of Jared’s ankle. It was fascinating and disgusting at the same time. Natasha looked a little green by the end of it. She had a weird thing about not handling broken bones or dislocations very well. Give the woman blood and guts and she wouldn’t blink. Clint dislocating his finger was enough for her to run out of the room. Clint being the absolute shit he was liked to run after her waving the dislocated joint around too.

The conversation turned from Jared’s ankle to Greg asking about our plans for the 4th of July long weekend. Mine were simple. Sleeping in my own bed and finishing the bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue I had in the cupboard. Natasha’s plans were to join me in both things except with a bottle of vodka. Greg looked like he was having so many thoughts running through his head while we casually talked about sharing a bed and getting drunk together. His own plans were rather normal. If he wasn’t working he was heading down to Richmond, Virginia where his parents and oldest sister lived. He was the youngest of the 4 children. His middle sister lived in Europe and wouldn’t be home until Christmas. His older sister was the family wildcard about whether she’d be there or not. Apparently her job, whatever the hell it was as Greg referred it, at NASA could keep her busy for months. She’d get too wrapped up her work and forget about the outside world. It had something to do with Engineering in Cleveland.

It was so nice to talk to someone normal and outside of SHIELD. Greg was actually quite funny. He had a quick wit about him too, making his comebacks as sharp as Natasha. Between the three of us, the conversation flowed easily. From Greg’s family to us describing bits of our job in SHIELD, there was a good range of topics. The hours just fell away without me noticing. It was 0530 by the time my body decided it couldn’t stay awake any longer. I’d polished off half the bag of brownies and even all the sugar in them couldn’t keep me awake. I was dead on my feet by the time Natasha and Greg both helped me back into my bed. I’m sure I fell asleep before my head hit the pillow.

I woke up what felt like only a few hours later with the sound of a keyboard tapping near my head. Blinking sleepily I opened my eyes to see the back of Mom’s MacBook near my face. She was frowning intently at the screen as her fingers flew over the keyboard.

“Morning, or should I say afternoon?” Mom didn't look up from her work.

“Really?” I squinted as I fumbled for my phone. It was 1422. Well, fuck me. I’d slept for hours. Beside me Clint and Jared were playing a noisy game of Modern Warefare. Neither of them had noticed me awake yet. They were too busy cussing each other out creatively in Russian for Clint and Icelandic for Jared.

“You have something there as well,” Mom glanced up at me with a little smirk on her face. She pointed towards the bedside table. I rubbed my eyes before focusing on what Mom was pointing to. It was a paper bag with a post-it note stuck on it.

_‘Thought you might want some more of these. I’m on night shift again if you need someone to talk to. Greg.’_

Underneath it was a cell number. I could feel my cheeks warming up as I read the note. I snatched the bag up quickly and opened it. Sure enough, there was more brownies in there. Judging by the bag feeling a little warm, they were very fresh too.

“He was quite lovely,” Mom closed her laptop, the smirk on her face growing even more. “He said you couldn’t sleep last night so he kept you company until you were ready to go back to bed.”

“Natasha was there as well,” I quickly defended my actions. “Neither of us could sleep, so he brought us hot chocolate and brownies.”

“I know she was, I was only teasing you,” Mom’s face softened. “Natasha was asleep in the bed with you when I came in this morning. Rough night?”

“A little,” I didn’t bother lying. My head was too foggy to get away with it. I rubbed my eyes again and stretched out on the bed. My joints and muscles protested against the movement. I usually had 2 physiotherapy sessions a day, but no one had woken me for the morning one. I wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad thing. I wasn’t sore from the workout the physio made me do, but I was sore from not stretching out my muscles. As I twisted making various joints pop, something caught my eye. A stack of boxes against the wall with a SHIELD logo on them caught my eye. “What are those?”

“The boxes?” Mom’s smirk came back. “Those are for all of you, starting as of tomorrow. Coulson thought it you had the energy to sit up half the night talking, then you can start doing some data entry to keep you amused.”

Of course he did. I couldn’t hold back my irritated sigh. I guess this was the start of my punishment. I might not even see the inside of a Quinjet for the next 6 months if Coulson was going to saddle me with paperwork.

I suppose it could always be worse. My eyes pulled back to the paper bag with the bright pink post-it note. I found myself smiling looking at it. Yep, things really could be much worse. At least now I’d have a regular supply of brownies for however long I was still stuck in hospital for.


	47. Chapter 47

“Pleeeeeeeeeease?” Jared drew out of the word until he couldn’t breath any longer. His blue eyes were wide and innocent as he stared at me with his lower lip pushed out.

 

“You know none of the Bravo boys are going to be there?” I couldn’t bring myself to say no to Jared. Especially when he was giving me the most pitiful look ever. 

 

“I know, it’s not like I know any of them,” Jared’s lip dropped down further. “Please? I’ll sit in the corner, play with Alexi and not do anything. I’m dying of boredom here.”

 

I bit my lip trying not to smile at Jared’s pleading. I usually wasn’t this easily swayed, but I knew how he was feeling at the moment. I was just about to head over to Abby’s baby shower and Jared desperately wanted to come. He was already going stir crazy and it hadn’t been that long since we’d be discharged from the hospital. 

 

We’d been home for a week now. I’d made my goal of being in my own bed by the 4th of July. It was only by a day, but at least I’d made it. The last few weeks in hospital had been soul crushingly boring. Even with all the paperwork Coulson had dumped on us, the days seemed to drag on and on with no end in sight. My only relief was my conversations with Greg. He and his constant supply of baked treats was the highlight of my days. As soon as my painkillers were backed off I became a bit of an insomniac. Lucky for me, he did mostly night shifts and he had a very minimal patient load because of us being his primary patients. He also wasn’t complaining because SHIELD was paying him extra to basically sit there and watch us all night. It was a win, win scenario for both of us. I got company and it helped him stay up for those long hours of nothing to do. He was very easy to have a conversation with. Once I’d been discharged it’d turned into regular texting. It was a nice little friendship we had going on. He’d never pry about things, he’d just help to get my mind off whatever was bugging me. 

 

But it also gave Jared and Clint something to tease me about. The pair of them together when they were bored were no better than 12 year old boys. Natasha left for her undercover mission with Stark Industries a week and a half ago. She had her final interview today, not that it mattered. The interviews were all for show. SHIELD made sure of it that she was the perfect candidate and short of her having a complete meltdown in the interview, the job was guaranteed. Unlike some other undercover missions, she was allowed contact with Clint and I as part of that cover. We’d even gotten our own little cover stories. Clint was her adopted brother and I was her best friend from high school. It was something at least. She’d been keeping in touch via text very regularly, bored out of her mind waiting to actually start work and get on with her mission.

 

Clint and Laura had smoothed things over not too long after I’d started talking to Greg. I still had no idea what really happened and didn’t ask. But I did apologise to Laura the first instance I could. Words could only do so much, but at least she was talking to me again. Jared decided that buying her forgiveness was the best course of action. When the next Pandora charm arrived he may have succeeded in doing it as well. With some help from Mom, and some minor abuse of SHIELD privileges, he’d tracked down a Pandora charm that was supposed to be nothing more than an urban legend. That combined with the luxury full day spa and promised baby sitting duties for that day might just work in his favour. 

 

“I won’t bitch about your driving,” Jared’s pleading continued. “I’ll just sit there and be a good boy. Please let me come.”

 

“If you’re coming you better put on some pants,” I hid my smile in my coffee mug. “I’m leaving in 5 minutes.”

 

Jared was up off the couch and going as fast as his crutches would allow before I finished speaking. His gleeful smile lit up his entire face. It was something I hadn’t seen much of lately. Jared had been very quiet and withdrawn ever since we’d come home. Still being on crutches and in a moon boot for at least another month hadn’t helped his mood either. It hadn’t gone unnoticed by me that he hadn’t teleported since we’d gotten home either. It was so unlike him to not use his powers for everything. Instead he hobbled around, sometimes in a lot of pain, on his crutches and did things like a normal person. 

 

Jared was dressed and back in the lounge room in 3 minutes flat. I drained my coffee and quickly put the mug in the dishwasher. I grabbed the ridiculous size basket and few wrapped presents that were sitting on the kitchen bench. I’d had a hard time choosing what to get for the baby shower. I had no idea about these things and couldn’t choose between all the suggestions Mom and Laura gave me. So I just brought everything they suggested. The midnight online shopping sprees had been a little bit of fun. I’d also brought a few presents for Alexi so she wouldn’t feel left out during the shower.

 

“I feel bad for not getting anything,” Jared looked over at the armful of presents as we got in the elevator to go down to the garage. “Should we stop at the store and pick something up from me?”

 

“I think I’ve got it covered,” I smiled wryly. “If not, I’ll make Abby find what she wants and you can buy it for her online while we’re there. Deal?”

 

“Deal.”

 

We were both quiet as we got into Jared’s car. The stinking hot July weather was well and truely here. There’s been a heat wave all week with temperatures in the low 100’s was getting old very quickly. The afternoon thunderstorms had been spectacular though. Jared and I had spent a few afternoons sitting up on the roof watching them roll in, usually with a cooler of beer between us. Mom and Dad were staying in Riley’s old apartment as it was closer to the hospital. They were due to go back to New York any day now. Mom’s excuse for hanging around a bit longer was she just wanted to make sure we could manage on our own. 

 

The traffic was fairly sedate for a Saturday as we drove to Evans place. I’d left early enough I could grab Starbucks on the way there. I was halfway through my vanilla latte before Jared broke the silence in the car. 

 

“I never said thank you,” Jared’s voice was so quiet I nearly missed what he was saying.

 

“You never say thank you when I buy you coffee,” I rolled my eyes. “But you’re welcome. You owe me 6 bucks by the way.”

 

“That’s not what I meant Kari,” Jared’s tone was deadly serious. I snuck a look over to him, a small frown crossing my own face. Jared looked as serious as he ever got. I could even pick up a flicker of nerves coming from him. It only took a second to click in my head that he wasn’t talking about Starbucks or anything else I’d helped him with since we’d been home.

 

“You don’t need to thank me,” I said, brushing off his thanks. “You would have come after me if I needed you to. In fact, if you don’t come and help me if I ever get it that situation, I’ll haunt your sorry ass for the rest of your life.”

 

That barely registered a smile on Jared’s face. He was looking down at the floor, scuffling his sneakered foot along the carpet. 

 

“Are you sorry for going after her?” I asked after a few moments of silence. 

 

“A little,” Jared wrinkled his nose and twisted his mouth, like he did when he was thinking of how to put something into words. “I’m more pissed at myself for rushing into chasing her down and not being prepared. She baited me far too well and I couldn’t help myself. You know me, I’m an arrogant asshole who doesn’t think of the consequences and do things for my own gain.”

 

Well, he said it. Not me. 

 

“I never expected things to go the way they did,” Jared sighed. “I’m very glad to be alive and in one piece.”

 

“Except for your ankle,” I pointed out. Greg had shown me the x-rays and 3D CT scan of Jared’s ankle before it was plated and screwed back together. His ankle had been in 6 difference pieces. What I had missed in my 2 weeks of being unconscious was Jared’s ankle being held together by an external fixator until the swelling had gone down enough to put the plates and screws in. It was quite gory and impressive at the same time. 

 

“Except for my ankle,” Jared repeated with a grimace. “So I guess this is my fucked up and round about way of saying thank you for saving my life and bringing me back home.”

 

“You brought us home,” I suppressed a shudder as the memory of the room nearly exploding around us popped into my mind. “But you’re welcome. Just remember to repay the favour one day if I ever get myself into a situation like that.”

 

“Will do,” Jared sagged in relief. He looked like I’d just taken a load off his shoulders in our little conversation. Then a thoughtful look crossed his face and he looked at me very carefully. “Are you going to tell Mom about my day drinking?”

 

The first day we got home Jared had been sipping from a water bottle while we sat on the couch watching a movie. When he got up for a toilet break, I’d taken a swig. It was a very nice blend of vodka that went down very smoothly. Dad was with us, working on something, so I put the bottle back without saying anything. But I’d caught him on more than one occasion with the same water bottle. I’d just been waiting for a chance to bring it up. It seems my discretion hadn’t gone unnoticed.

 

“Is your day drinking going to become a regular fixture?” I asked trying to be tactful. Jared was having just as much trouble sleeping as I was. At least I was finding a better outlet for my insomnia.

 

“It helps me sleep,” Jared’s voice turned quiet again. His eyes went back to the floor as if he was too ashamed to look me in the face. “I know I shouldn’t, but it helps blur the nightmares so they don’t seem so vivid and real. I can’t remember them when I wake up.”

 

“That’s what I’m here for,” I said gently. I hated that I really understood where he was coming from with this. There were nights I wanted to crawl into a bottle and make it all go away. “And Natasha and Clint. We’re all there for each other when things get shitty.”

 

Jared didn’t say anything for a long few minutes. He just turned his head to stare out the window. The sunlight flitted across his face as the scenery passed by. 2 months in hospital left both of us pasty white, even more so than usual. Jared looked like he was trying to soak up every ray of sunshine he could. Some vitamin D might just improve his mood. 

 

“I won’t tell Mom,” I decided to not push the issue for the moment. “But if it keeps up, I will tell Clint.”

 

“Duly noted,” Jared visibly flinched at my threat. “I will come in and harass you instead. Maybe Greg will make me some brownies too.”

 

I rolled my eyes, both at Jared’s change of subject and what he’d changed it to. I’d let the subject of his drinking go for the moment. But it wasn’t the last he’d hear about it if it kept up. 

 

“His cupcakes are to die for as well,” I ignored his none too subtle jab. “He made me Reeces Pieces cupcakes with peanut butter frosting one night. You know a guy and girl can just be friends and there’s nothing else behind it. Look and Clint and I.”

 

“Yeah but its fun to tease you about it,” Jared chuckled. His face relaxed into a soft smile. “I’m just being a shit.”

 

“You’re always a shit,” I chuckled with him. “You’ve been that way since birth. I don’t expect that to ever change.”

 

We’d just turned down the street towards Evans’ place. Abby had texted me earlier saying she’d leave a spot in front of the garage free so I didn’t have to walk too far. At the time I didn’t think too much of it. As we pulled into the street, I could see why. It looks like Abby was having one hell of a baby shower. 

 

“I really am sorry though,” Jared turned serious again. “But at the same time, I’m so proud of you.”

 

“Thanks bro,” I reached over and gave his hand a squeeze. “Just remember I’m here for you whenever you need me.”

 

“I know,” Jared flinched as I hit a bump turning into the driveway. “If we’re not too tired after this, want to go out to dinner? Just you and me?”

 

“Sure,” I said instantly. It’d been such a long time since we’d done something with just the two of us. “Your shout.”

 

“I will make it somewhere nice then,” Jared looked pleased with my easy answer. “And now I’m hungry, lets go inside.”

 

Hungry was a new thing for Jared. He’d done nothing but pick at his food since we’d been awake. He was starting to look skinny again instead of muscly. But I smiled even wider and just nodded. It was a struggle to get Jared’s crutches and my armful of presents out. Just as I was trying to close the car door with my foot, Evans popped up next to me.

 

“Did you buy the entire fucking store?” Evans laughed as he reached over and took the large basket off me. He also dropped a kiss on my cheek, which was a surprise. “Good to see you up and moving.”

 

Evans and Abby had been near daily visitors at the hospital. Alexi was always happy to see me, so she’d be all over me and wanting my attention every single moment. With Abby just shy of 8 months pregnant now, she was glad for someone to hand her off to. Even if it was for only 45 minutes. It’d almost been odd not seeing them all week since I’d been home. 

 

“I couldn’t decide,” I shrugged with a sheepish grin. “Some are for Alexi as well. I didn’t want her to feel left out.”

 

“Yeah because that girl needs anymore toys,” Evans scoffed playfully. “Good to see you too Jared.”

 

“Hey Evans,” Jared smiled politely. “Sorry for crashing the party, but I was going to go crazy if I stayed at home.”

 

“I appreciate having another guy around,” Evans chuckled. “All the guys from my team ditched me in favour of a baseball game. They’ll be back later.”

 

Evans didn’t need to add he wasn’t letting Abby out of his sights at the moment either. She’d had a few false alarms over the last 2 weeks.  But with her getting closer and closer to full term, everyone else was starting to relax a little. Even if the baby was born now it shouldn’t have any complications. Everything on the last scan and checks ups all looked perfectly normal and healthy. The mystery sex would also finally be revealed. It seems her baby didn’t want to uncross his or hers legs for the ultrasound leaving all of us still guessing. I had bets on a boy. Mom was absolutely convinced it’d be another girl. I had a feeling that was more to stir Evans up more than anything else. 

 

The short trip from the car to the front door was very appreciated. I hovered next to Jared to make sure he didn’t fall on his face on the sightly uneven ground. He and Evans were talking about baseball, something I wasn’t a huge fan of. The blast of air conditioning as the front door opened was a welcome relief. Even in the short walk, I felt like I was melting. 

 

“Kari brought a friend,” Evans announced as we walked into the lounge room. The sight of a roomful of all women, some with young babies nearly made me high tail it out of there. There was way more oestrogen in this room than I was used to. All of a sudden I wanted to be at the baseball game more than here.

 

“Hey stranger,” Abby called out. She was sitting in her reclining chair with her feet up. Her eyebrows raised a little in surprise as she looked at Jared. “Hey trouble. Both of you come and sit down. Everyone who doesn’t know them, this is Kari and Jared.”

 

Abby frantically motioned her hand towards the couch next to her. The women sitting in it quickly vacated and moved to another position. Thankfully Abby and Evans were used to entertaining large crowds, because there would have easily been about 30 women in the room. The outside chairs had been brought in and I spied a table full of food at the back.  I said hello to a few of the girlfriends and wives I knew from the Bravo team boys. But there were a lot of unfamiliar faces. I plonked down on the couch, grateful for the seat. Jared sat next to me, easing his leg onto a spare ottoman. 

 

“Where’s the little monster?” I asked to cover my discomfort. Alexi was nowhere to be seen or heard.

 

“Upstairs because she had a tantrum,” Evans explained as he put my ridiculously large gift basket on the table that already had presents. “I’ll go see if she’s ready to pick her toys up. Maybe having Kari here will be bribery enough for her.”

 

“Tell her I have presents too,” I held up the neatly wrapped ones in my lap. 

 

“And this lady with a baby needs a top up,” Abby handed Evans her empty glass with a sweet smile. “And some more food.”

 

“Sure,” Evans went without complaint. It made me smile at his retreating back. He did absolutely everything for Abby at the moment. Apparently the doctor wanted Abby to take it very easy until the baby was ready to come out. Evans took that as he started his paternity leave early, waited on Abby hand and foot and did everything he could to make sure she was comfortable. It was rather adorable to see him as the doting husband and dad. 

 

“You’ve got him so well trained,” someone sighed as soon Evans was out of earshot. 

 

“He’s just making up for not being here for Alexi,” Abby smiled as she squirmed in the chair. She looked really uncomfortable today. She was a very petite woman. Her pregnant belly made her look like she’d swallowed a beach ball. “In an almost overbearing way. But I can’t complain, he gives me foot rubs and everything.”

 

The conversation dissolved into talking about babies, as it usually did at these things. I had a feeling Jared and I were the only childless ones in the room. Unlike me, Jared was more than comfortable joining in the conversation when he could. Once it started down on talking about Abby’s upcoming birth, I began to feel very lost. I was never so grateful for my phone to vibrate in my pocket. I snuck it into my lap and checked the screen.

 

_How goes the baby shower?_

 

It was from Greg. I was surprised he was actually out of bed this early. It was only 11am. He usually didn’t surface until early afternoon. Today was one of his rare weekends off, the first he’d had in over a year. 

 

_They’re talking about birth and stuff I have no idea about. I’m grossed out and never having kids because of these stories. What the fuck is a doula? It sounds like a dirty sex act._

 

I tapped out and sent the message as quickly as I could so I didn’t miss the conversation I wasn’t following. Jared had been watching my sneaky little texting out of the corner of his eye. He’d kept a pretty straight face but a little smirk had flitted on his face.

 

I tried to focus on what was being said, but my phone vibrated again. 

 

_You have no idea how hard I’m laughing at you right now. A doula is like a non medical birth coach. I have to agree, the OBGYN rotation I’ve done are my least favourite thing._

 

“Oh fuck I’m leaking,” the woman sitting closest to me dragging my attention away from my phone. She had a baby in her arms. “Can you hold her for a second please?”

 

She held the baby out to me. I could only stare in mild horror at the tiny infant swaddled in a yellow onesie.

 

“Oh, no thank you I’m vegetarian,” the snark fell out of my mouth before I could stop it. 

 

The woman looked at me like I’d just grown another head. A few laughs echoed around the room, but I was mostly met by stunned silence.

 

“You’re such a man sometimes,” Jared rolled his eyes and held his hands out. “I’ll take her, unlike my sister, I love babies.”

 

Jared pretended to be oblivious to the soft sigh going around the room at his declaration. There was just something about a man declaring he loved babies that seemed to make most ladies ovaries go into overdrive. I must have missed that gene somewhere. Maybe Jared absorbed it in the womb instead of me. 

 

While Jared was fussing over the baby girl, I quickly shot off a text back to Greg.

 

_I just told someone ‘No thank you I’m vegetarian’ when they tried to hand me a baby. Not too many people thought it was funny._

 

I could feel Abby’s eyes on me as I typed the message out as quickly as I could. She had a little smile on her face as she watched me.

 

“It’s only Barton,” I lied. 

 

“Uh huh,” Abby’s smile grew. “I believe you.”

 

I didn’t have time for a reply. Alexi came barrelling into the room, shrieking something that resembled my name. She threw herself on me, wrapping her arms around my neck. 

 

“Hey trouble,” I put my arms around her, squeezing her as hard as I dared. “I missed you.”

 

“Miss you,” Alexi said back. My heart melted a little at hearing those two words coming from her. Her vocabulary was picking up at a very rapid pace. You’d say a word to her and she’d repeat it most of the time. Miss you had been one of the first few words she’d put together. 

 

“Are you going to sit there and behave for Kari?” Evans had been right behind her. He handed me an apple juice and Jared a coke. Alexi nodded vigorously, clinging onto me even harder. She looked a little red eyed and teary still. The word no had fast become a favourite lately. I had no doubt she’d thrown an epic tantrum over something she didn’t want to do.

 

With Alexi in my lap chattering away, I didn’t have to add to much of the conversation going around the room. But the party was a little bit fun. Despite feeling completely out of my depth, I gradually relaxed and joined in a few of the games. Abby’s Mom tried to pry Alexi away from me a few times, it ended in a few tears with Alexi firmly refusing to leave me alone. The only time she got off my lap was to rip the presents open. She only got as far as the box of ‘Little Miss’ books before she was crawling back into my lap holding one out for me to read. Dad had started reading to her while we were in hospital. It’d created a bit of a monster, now she wanted everything to be read to her. So books were the perfect present for her at the moment. She had more than enough toys. Halfway through the second one she began to yawn. By the time I was on the last page she was struggling to keep her eyes open.

 

“I’ll go put her down for a nap,” I excused myself. Abby was about to start opening presents so I wouldn’t be missed for a while. 

 

“No,” Alexi mumbled, rubbing her face against my shirt. 

 

“Net,” I corrected her Russian, just to see if she’d repeat it.

 

“Net,” Alexi parroted back to me in a perfect accent. Both Jared and I grinned in amusement at her easy acceptance of saying it back. This might be a little bit of fun. 

 

“How about you teach her other favourite word in Russian so she stops getting in trouble at playgroup,” Abby snickered. “I’ll leave your presents until you get back down here.”

 

Alexi was dead to the world by the time I hit her bedroom. She must have had a very epic tantrum for her to be so tired. I didn’t get any protest as I tucked her into bed, only a very brief stir as I tucked her favourite teddy bear next to her. I stood in the room just watching her sleep for a few minutes. She was a far cry from the tiny baby I’d originally been too scared to hold. It was hard to believe she was walking and really getting the hang of talking. I tucked her dark curls behind her ear before leaving the room quietly. Just as I was about to head down the stairs my phone vibrated again. 

 

_Like the view?_

 

It was from Greg. The picture attached was a gorgeous view of the Potomac. Where ever it actually was looked quiet and secluded.

 

_Gorgeous, but you are fucking crazy to be out riding in this heat. Where is that?_

 

Evans was coming up the stairs just as I finished the text.

 

“Hungry?” Evans asked, pausing on the 2nd top stair. “And I’m guessing she didn’t give you any grief?”

 

“I’m starving. She never gives me any grief,” I chuckled a little. “What was her tantrum about this time?”

 

“Picking up her toys,” Evans explained, looking a little weary. “When I tried to pick her up off the floor during her tantrum she also told me to fuck off.”

 

“Yikes,” I cringed as we started back down the stairs. “Little Miss Potty Mouth doesn’t quite cover it.”

 

“I’m a terrible Dad though because it makes me laugh and then she thinks she’s out of trouble,” Evans shook his head. “She’s using it in the right context at least.”

 

“Jared and I both had potty mouths growing up,” I said to reassure Evans. “Or so Mom used to say. Our language was always more colourful after spending time with Dad at work.”

 

“I’m sure you didn’t get the looks I do at playgroup,” Evans sighed but there was a smile playing over his face. “Those mom’s are fucking evil with their cliques and opinions. Because how dare I send my daughter to playgroup with a sandwich, cookies and a juice. And I don’t know if her lunchbox if BPA free or not. You should have seen the mass hysteria when I accidentally sent her with peanut butter and jelly one day.”

 

“Again another reason not to have kids,” I flinched as I finally got down the stairs. My leg wasn’t very happy with stairs still.

 

“You ok?” Evans was instantly at my side. He hovered, looking unsure if he should support me or not.

 

“Fine,” I waved him off. “Stairs still suck right now.”

 

“Go sit down,” Evans gave me a gentle nudge back towards the lounge room. “No doubt Abby is dying to open your present. Did I get anything in that?”

 

“Yeah, baby sitting vouchers for when you and your wife need some alone time,” I grinned at the thought of what was in the basket. “Might even be a voucher for dinner in there somewhere with free baby sitting duties for that night.”

 

That one had been Clint’s suggestion. He commented that he and Laura barely got any time together after Cooper was born. So I’d gotten a voucher for one of the nicer restaurants in DC and attached a note to it. ’Includes free babysitting for tonight.’

 

“Best present ever,” Evans grinned back. “Go, I’ll even bring you a plate of food so you don’t have to get up again if your leg is sore.”

 

I didn’t need to be told again. I went back into the lounge room and plonked down next to Jared. Somewhere along the line he’d acquired another baby to cuddle, looking completely at ease with the baby over his shoulder. 

 

“Stop doing that you’ll make people’s ovaries explode from the cuteness overload,” I murmured in Icelandic as I sat down. Jared shot me a charming grin, but said nothing in return. He looked the happiest he’d been in weeks. Getting him out of the house had been the right choice this morning. 

 

“Can someone reach for Kari and Jared’s basket for me?” Abby asked loudly. “I need to see what’s in this monstrosity.”

 

Abby ripped into the many layers of cellophane I’d put over it. I almost felt a little mournful watching her. It’d taken me an hour to get it wrapped up so it didn’t look like I’d just throw it over the top and hoped for the best. I didn’t bother to correct her about it being a joint gift. At least that way I didn’t look too crazy for how much I brought. 

 

“Where do I even start?” Abby laughed as she turned the basket around in her hands a few times. I’d gotten the standard baby shower things. Like a bundle of nappies, a few cute little baby clothes for now and later. A knitted blanket. A really cute swaddling set with different animals prints on them. A few stuffed toys and baby books. 

 

“Best present ever,” Abby pulled out the bottle of tequila and strawberry margarita mix bundled together. I’d labelled it as ‘Mom’s Stress Relief.’

 

“I do try,” I grinned back at Abby. She looked ready to crack open the tequila bottle right now. “But wait there’s more.”

 

“I can see that,” Abby rolled her eyes, but looked positively gleeful as she sorted through the presents that were mostly for her. It was mostly gift cards and vouchers all to make her life a little more pleasant when the baby finally arrived. The meal delivery voucher was a hit, along with the dinner and mini spa treatment. 

 

“You can thank Mom for a lot of this,” I deflected the excited thank yous being thrown at me.

 

“I’d get up and hug you both but I’m too fat and tired,” Abby’s grin faltered a little. She winced and settled back in her chair, rubbing her stomach. “And I think I have a foot in my kidney.”

 

“You can hug me later,” I assured Abby. She didn’t have to hug me or really thank me for anything. Her and Evans had been more than accomodating with me in their lives. 

 

“You can hug Kari twice for me,” Jared was squirming in his seat looking uncomfortable as well. “I forgot my lunchtime painkillers.”

 

I was tempted to call Jared out on his obvious lie. He never forgot anything important like that. He just didn’t like the side effects that came from the big bag of opiates he was still meant to be taking every day. But as soon as he said it, multiple women went rummaging through their handbags. In less than a minute he had a selection in front of him. One of the drawbacks of being STRIKE. You tend to end up with chronic daily pain in your 30’s. Even if you didn’t, the injuries that came with the job could take a heavy toll on your body. Hence why most of the Bravo team wives had strong narcotics in their purses.

 

“Now I feel like I’m in a candy store,” Jared laughed a little. He picked up the bottle of the weakest one available. “Thanks everyone. I’m slightly worried about the amount of Perocet being carried around in your purses.”

 

“Just you wait until you hit 40,” Evans walked into the room with his hands full plates of food. “You won’t be laughing about needing strong painkillers on a regular basis.”

“I have to make 40 first,” Jared said dryly. He quickly threw the pills down with a wrinkled nose. “I’m dreading the arthritis I’m going to get from my ankle.”

 

Evans put a plate of food in my lap. It was piled high with finger food. I dug into it straight away, going for the cheeseburger sliders that Evans did so well. Beside me, Jared was doing the same. He wasn’t lying about being hungry. His own cheeseburger sliders were gone in a few bites. I didn’t miss the pleased look crossing both Evans and Abby’s faces as they watched Jared eat. No doubt Mom had been asking everyone to keep a close eye on both of us. 

 

It was easy to get lost in the conversation while everyone started to get up and eat. Most of the Bravo team wives and girlfriends gravitated towards Jared and I, while Abby’s other friends formed their own groups. As usual, Jared became the centre of attention. After everyone had eaten and the cake was cut, Alexi woke up from her nap. She came downstairs looking grumpy, with her favourite teddy bear and book in hand. I was still eating cake, so she climbed onto Jared’s lap instead. It only took her waving the book around and her sweet smile to get Jared to cave in and start reading ‘Little Miss Giggles’ to her. Alexi snuggled into Jared, putting her head on his shoulder listening intently as Jared read out loud to her. 

 

While Alexi was occupied, I quickly took my chance to sneak off to grab a drink before Alexi noticed me missing. No doubt she’d want a juice as well, as she usually did after a nap. Jared looked like he could do with another caffeine and sugar hit as well. I wasn’t the only one who still got tired doing day to day activities. As I walked into the kitchen, Evans jumped and looked over his shoulder. He’d been leaning against the table, watching a small TV set up on the bench. He’d been watching a baseball game, beer in his hand. 

 

“I need something manly to do,” Evans explained with a guilty smile. “There is way too many female hormones flying around in that room.”

 

“Tell me about it,” I peered over his shoulder to look at the game. The Nationals were playing the Dodgers. So far it looked like the Dodgers were getting their asses handed to them with no chance of getting back up from it. “Any chance I can grab one of those?”

 

“Sure, in the fridge,” Evans went back to watching the game. “Does Jared want one?”

 

“Probably, but he’s not getting one,” I wandered over to the fridge and helped myself to the Heineken in the door. I paused for a second, realising what I’d just said. Shit. That didn’t come out right. I scrambled for an appropriate lie. “He’s on that many narcotics still, I don’t want to have to carry him to the car.”

 

“Such a mean sister you are,” Evans chuckled, not taking his eyes away from the TV. It seems I actually got away with my lie. “If that’s the case, should you be having that beer?”

 

“I’m down to Advil and maybe something stronger at night if I’ve overdone it during the day,” I explained, taking a long drink of beer. I barely managed to hold back my groan of delight as the bubbles hit my mouth. I forced myself not to chug the beer down and reach for another one. I still had to drive home. 

 

My phone buzzed in my pocket, like it had several times throughout the last hour and a bit. I quickly pulled it out and scrolled through the text messages. They were all from Greg. 

 

_Mt Vernon trail. I spend all day in air conditioning. It feels good to go out and sweat in the basking sun._

 

_I may or may not be currently regretting my last statement._

 

_I take it back. I’m really regretting it. I’m trying to summon the energy to turn around and go home. It seems like all my extra baking over the last few weeks has caught up with me._

 

I could feel a little grin growing on my face as I read through the messages. Poor Greg. Considering it was meant to get to 110 degrees today he must be dying out there. I tapped out a quick reply to him.

 

_But I really enjoyed your extra baking. I’d offer to come pick you up, but I only have a motorbike and Jared owns a sports car. I guess I could attach a cable and drag you along?_

 

“Are you texting that doctor?” Evans voice broke through my thoughts as I hit send. 

 

“That answer entirely depends on whether you’re going to tease me if I was,” I peeked up under my eyelashes to watch for Evans reaction.

 

“I won’t tease you,” Evans chuckled, finally dragging his eyes away from the baseball game. “It is a little funny though. He seems nice.”

 

“He is,” the line of dots appeared under my text showing that Greg was replying. “It’s nice to talk to someone out of SHIELD to be honest. Refreshing even.”

 

“A little bit of normal never goes astray,” Evans smiled at me. “If it was anyone else, I’d offer to make sure the boys don’t sit on the porch while polishing shotguns when you start dating again.”

 

Evans was so good when it came to talking about, well anything that skirted into Riley territory. He never pushed to talk about a subject unless I offered more. If I just wanted to sit in silence and enjoy a beer, he’d do the same. I was very lucky to have people like him in my life.

 

“We’ll reserve that for when Alexi starts dating,” I said with little smirk. The screen on my phone lit up as Greg’s reply came in.

 

_As fun as that sounds, I think I’ll pass. Why am I not surprised you own a motorbike? I’m guessing its some crazy sports bike that does 200MPH and you’ve gotten it up to that speed before._

 

I felt torn between laughing and pulling a face at the phone screen. He was right on both accounts. The top speed on the Kawasaki was 220MPH. I’d gotten it to 200 a few times.  I went back through my phone and found a video Natasha sent me one day. I’d gone past her on the bridge to work, it was early morning and no other traffic around so I’d been going as fast as I could. It was only a short clip of me zooming past, the Kawasaki roaring as I hit whatever speed I was doing. I sent it without any other message. No doubt Greg would be sitting there shaking his head at me. 

 

“Earth to Kari,” Evans voice snapped me out of what I was doing. I looked up with a twinge of guilt. Evans was standing there watching me with an infuriating smirk on his face.

 

“What?” I took a sip of beer, trying to look innocent.

 

“I was asking while you were zoned out texting your doctor friend,” Evans barely managed to keep his laughter in check. “If you wanted to go to the range next week with Bravo team? Its booked in for Thursday morning.”

 

“Oh god yes,” I said instantly. “Otherwise I spend the next month in Coulson’s office until Barton comes back to work.”

 

I’m sure it was part of my punishment. I was back to playing personal assistant to Coulson for the next month. It meant an entire long month of nothing but Coulson’s office and tagging along for whatever he was doing. As boring as it was going to be, it was still preferable than being dead. If Coulson wasn’t my handler, I’m sure my punishment would be a lot more severe than playing secretary. 

 

“Good, you can teach Cobb a thing or 20 about proper marksmanship,” a look of frustration flittered across Evans face.

 

I couldn’t bring myself to try and say something nice about the situation. I’d met the new marksman, Roy Cobb, as soon as he’d arrived. He was straight from the Academy, highly recommended, top marks in everything, but had the personality of a stereotypical high school jock. Cocky, arrogant and rude were the nicest words to describe him. He was the type of person you didn’t want or need in a black ops job. I’d rather chew my own arm off and beat myself to death than to trust him with my life on a mission. But the guy did have scores nearly as good as Clint at the Academy. 

 

“When I’m feeling better I’ll quite happily beat his ass in hand to hand as well to knock some of the cockiness out of him,” I reassured Evans. “In the mean time I will shoot well enough that my awesomeness will be too hard to contain and it’ll keep him quiet for a little bit.”

 

“So a regular day at the range then,” Evans grinned and raised his beer bottle to mine. “I can deal with that.”

 

“Me too,” I grinned back, clinking my bottle against his. “Here’s to terrifying the rookie.”

 

“I’ll definitely drink to that,” Evans chucked as he tipped his bottle back and drained the last of the contents. I did the same, but only managed to get 1/4 of the way through mine. The small amount of alcohol was enough to make my head spin. I was going to have to nurse the rest of the beer if I wanted to drive home. 

 

Alexi wandered into the kitchen a few seconds later with a grumpy look on her face. I’d completely forgotten about getting her a drink. Except for her sleeping pattern she was a little creature of habit. If you disturbed her routine it was like DEFCON 1.

 

“Hey munchkin,” I quickly grabbed down and pulled her up into my arms. Instantly, her head went on my shoulder and she stuck her thumb in her mouth. It seems I’d averted the nuclear toddler blow up for now. “What juice do you want?”

 

She murmured something that suspiciously sounded like apple. It was hard to work out with her thumb in her mouth. But there was no objections when I got her the juice box that was apple. She stuck the straw in her mouth and perked up considerably at the first sip. I guess it what I looked like while having my first coffee of the morning. 

 

“You better get out there and rescue Jared,” Evans turned back to his baseball game. “There’s heaps of leftovers if you want anything else.”

 

“Don’t mind if I do.”

 

I took the remainder of the sliders with me, along with a coke for Jared. It was a bit of an awkward armful with Alexi still balanced on my hip. But I managed not to drop anything on my trek back to the lounge room. In my brief interlude in the kitchen the room had started to empty of some of the ladies. It was a lot quieter than earlier. The groups of women had shrunk to one large circle around Abby now. Jared looked like he was fighting off sleep on the comfortable couch. 

 

“I’m sure if you ask nicely you can crash in the spare bed for a few hours,” I murmured quietly to Jared. He took the can of coke and plate of sliders out of my hands so I could sit down easily. Alexi had nearly finished her juice and was looking like a little wind up toy that was ready to go. 

 

“No, if I stay awake I might sleep better tonight,” Jared responded with a shrug. His eyes trailed down to the beer bottle in my fingers. I expected him to make a fuss, but he just shoved a slider in his mouth instead.

 

As expected Alexi was wide awake and bouncing by the time she finished the last bit of juice. She went between Jared and I, handing us both book after book to be read. She never got bored, but she was very insistent if our attention strayed. Jared switched to reading to her in French at one stage which just made her giggle. It also made the remaining females in the room sigh as the fluent French flew over his tongue. It was a very pretty language and I supposed spoken by an attractive male made it even nicer. My attempt to teach Riley anything other than Russian had been a dismal failure. 

 

As the afternoon wore on, more and more people trickled out. The Bravo boys who went to the baseball game came back, stopped for a quick drink and then left with their respective wives or girlfriend. Alexi showed no signs of wanting to let Jared or me go anywhere. We were the last ones left by the time Evans managed to pry Alexi off both of us. Abby was looking more and more uncomfortable by the time she followed me upstairs to put all of Alexi’s books away.

 

“Thank you for keeping her occupied,” Abby collapsed in the rocking chair by Alexi’s bed. She winced as she rubbed her extended stomach. “And for all the presents. You didn’t need to get us so much.”

 

“I couldn’t decide on one thing to get,” I said sheepishly. I crammed the books into Alexi’s already overflowing bookshelf. “Besides, think of it as a gift basked from STRIKE Team Delta, Jared and my parents. That way it doesn’t seem too excessive.”

 

“Nice try,” Abby’s amused tone makes me smile. A small silence stretched between us as I tried to manurer the rest of the books into the shelf. I’d have to talk one of the Bravo boys into helping me get another bookcase here before this one exploded. “Are you sleeping?”

 

“Better than I was,” I admitted truthfully, not turning to face Abby. My hand hovered above the bookshelf for a few moments while I considered my next words. “Some days are easier than others. I am looking forward to being back at work, even if its something as mundane as helping Coulson.”

 

“I swear they put something in the water in your locker room,” Abby teased gently. “Every single STRIKE member I know is always itching to go back to work, even if they’re still being held together with stitches.”

 

“You have no idea how boring it was sitting in that hospital room, even with the work Coulson gave us,” I laughed a little at her teasing. I finally found a place to shove the last book in. “Besides, I thought you would have been sick of me by now.”

 

I shoved the book in with a little more force than necessary. The entire bookshelf looked like it was ready to explode and bury us in an avalanche of kids books at any second. But at least they were away for the moment. I put my hands on my hips, taking a step back to proudly observe my Tetris skills.

 

“You have no idea how much Troy and I appreciated your help with Alexi,” Abby’s voice changed in pitch suddenly. I turned around just to see her grab at her back while rubbing her stomach looking pained.

 

“What’s wrong?” I instantly went to her side. 

 

“Branxton hicks contractions,” Abby huffed around her heavy breathing. “They’ve been niggling at me all day today. I can’t get comfortable.”

 

“Can I do something?” I asked feeling completely lost. My first instinct would be to holler for Evans, but Abby didn’t look concerned yet. 

 

“No just help me up,” Abby’s breathing finally slowed down to a normal rate. “Changing positions is supposed to help, but it's not today.”

 

I helped Abby to her feet. She scrunched her face up in a look of disgust as she got to her feet. I was about to ask what was wrong, my eye caught it first. There was a small wet spot on the chair where Abby had been sitting. 

 

“Pregnancy makes your body do gross things, like pee yourself,” Abby said with no apology in her voice. She even looked a little disgusted herself. “Can you make sure I don’t fall over in the toilet? I’m not feeling the best. I think I overdid it a little today.”

 

“I’ll stay guard,” I assured Abby. I wrapped my arm around her for support as she waddled into the ensuite. While she went to the toilet, I sat on the bed feeling tired myself. It felt ridiculous that half a day of sitting around and eating could still leave me tired. The beer on top of it all probably didn’t help. I may need another hit of coffee to keep me going for our dinner out. 

 

“Hey Kari?” Abby’s voice was muffled by the closed door.

 

“Yeah?” I called back.

 

“Can you get Troy please?”

 

There was no hint of panic in her voice. But something had definitely changed. I didn’t stop to ask questions, I was flying down the stairs a heartbeat later. I found Evans sitting in the lounge room talking to Jared. He looked up at my sudden appearance. The look on my face must have given everything away. He was on his feet, sprinting upstairs calling Abby’s name.

 

Jared and Alexi both watched silently, eyes comically wide as Evans thumped up the stairs. Voices were raised, but nothing we could make out. It didn’t take long for Evans to come thumping back down the stairs with Abby in his arms, phone wedged between his shoulder and ear.

 

“Can you guys watch Alexi for me?” Evans asked not looking over to us. His stride didn’t falter as he headed straight for the door. Abby shot me a strained smile over his shoulder. She looked pale and nervous.

 

“Sure,” I ran for the front door so I could pull it open for Evans. He didn’t need to be smacking Abby’s head in the doorframe in his haste. “Everything all right?”

“I think I may have been in labour all day,” Abby’s voice sounded tense. “My water just broke.”

 

I could only stand there in open mouth shock as Evans shot out the door. A few seconds later his car was screaming down the road at a very illegal speed. I stayed in the front doorway, not quite processing what just happened until Evans’ car was long out of sight. 

 

“Well,” I mused looking down the street with both eyebrows raised. “Fuck.”

 

My stomach fluttered with worry as my mind finally caught up with everything. I quickly pushed it away. There wasn’t any need to think anything bad was about to happen. Abby was far enough along that there shouldn’t be any complications. A few weeks early was better than a few months early like Alexi. 

 

“Fuck!” Alexi echoed from the lounge room in obvious glee at using her favourite word. The sound of her voice quickly made me snap out of the building worry going on in my head. In a much quieter voice she added. “Mac and Cheese?”

 

I checked my watch. It was nearly 1730, later than I realised and very close to Alexi’s dinner time. At least she had asked for something I could cook without burning the kitchen down. As much as I wanted to go out for dinner I was feeling the effects of the long day already. I went back into the kitchen and threw a few packets on for the three of us. There was still plenty of leftovers if Jared and I wanted anything else. By the time it was done Alexi had just walked into the kitchen, Jared hobbling after her on his crutches. 

 

Dinner went by with very minimal fuss. Alexi sat in her high chair talking in her mixture of words and babble, between mouthfuls of food. Jared kept answering her back in different languages, making her giggle and try and repeat what he was saying. Some of the languages were just too hard for her to wrap her tongue around. It didn’t stop her from trying though. Halfway through my own bowl, my phone vibrated. I quickly pulled it out of my pocket, in case it was Evans ringing. But it was only a text message from Greg. 

 

_That is a very sexy bike, even if your speed is making me cringe. I’m home, enjoying the air conditioning with Ben’s Chilli Bowl. Whats your plans for tonight?_

 

My mac and cheese suddenly didn’t feel quite as appetising as it had before. I loved Ben’s Chilli Bowl. My mouth watered just thinking of it. With Alexi occupied I might just be able to sneak out for it later. I quickly typed a message back to Greg.

 

_Thanks, now I want chilli fries. I’m baby sitting tonight, rather unexpectedly. Abby just went into labour._

 

I threw my phone back on the table, digging into the now unappetising mac and cheese. After being home and having Mom’s cooking for the last week, the mac and cheese reminded me far too much of hospital food. Jared had finished his and was eyeing off my bowl like he was going to snatch it away as well. 

 

“If you’re that hungry, I’ll get you something else,” I suggested, hugging the bowl a little closer to my body. As much as it tasted like hospital food, it was still mine. A mischievous look sprung onto Jared’s face as he eyed off the bowl being cradled in my hands protectively.

 

“Ice cream!” Alexi announced loudly from her high chair. The mischievous look fell away from Jared’s face as he laughed at her loud declaration. That only made Alexi grin and start to make more noise. She banged her spoon against the tray a few times while chanting the word. Her mac and cheese was only half finished. She’d spent more time pulling faces at Jared than eating. 

 

“We can all go out for ice cream?” I suggested. I wasn’t too familiar with this side of town, Evans and Abby lived on the outskirts of Silver Spring, but an ice cream place shouldn’t be too hard to find. 

 

“Ice cream sounds awesome,” Jared said with the most enthusiasm I’d seen in weeks. He shovelled the last few spoonfuls of mac and cheese into his mouth in a hurry.  The promise of ice cream, or her copying Jared’s actions, spurred Alexi into quickly finishing her dinner as well. I quickly cleared the table while Jared looked for someone for us to go for ice cream. Just as I finished stacking the plates in the dishwasher, Jared spoke up.

 

“There’s a place called Moorenko’s that isn’t too far away.” Jared held his phone up, showing me the website. “It’s looks awesome.”

 

“Lets go then.”

 

It didn’t take long to get Alexi organised and into Abby’s car. I wasn’t going to struggle with trying to attach the carseat in Jared’s car. I doubted it’d even fit in the back. I’d driven Abby’s car plenty of times before and I doubted she’d mind if I took it tonight. The sensible family SUV was easier for Jared to slide into as well. It was only a 5 minute drive to Moorenko’s. The ice cream shop was quiet so it didn’t take long for us to get the ice cream and slide into a booth. Just as I raised my first spoonful to my mouth, my phone vibrated in my pocket. I quickly pulled it out, just as another message came through. The first message was from Greg and the second from Evans. I went for Evans message first, anxious for some news. 

 

_Going in for an emergency c-section. Will keep you posted._

 

“Abby’s going in for an emergency c-section,” I repeated the message back to Jared. Unlike me, he’d already shoved a mouthful of ice cream in his mouth. It took him a few seconds to be able to swallow it all enough to speak. 

 

“At least we won’t be kept waiting,” Jared said reassuringly. “The baby will be out within 20 minutes and we can all celebrate then. I’m sure Abby will be happy to see her feet again. Hear that Alexi? Your little brother or sister will be here soon.”

 

Alexi was too busy making a mess with her chocolate ice cream, she just stared at Jared with a wrinkled nose. While she was too young to comprehend exactly what was going on, she was also smart enough to know something was happening. Judging by the winkled nose and look of minor disgust, she didn't seem too happy about it either. I took a mouthful of my own chocolate and peanut butter ice cream before opening Greg’s message.

 

_Tell her good luck. I’d offer to bring over chilli fries, but I’m 3 beers down and not moving for the night. How about we do chilli fries and beer one night?_

 

I stared at the phone, absently licking the bottom of my spoon trying to think of a clever reply to his message. It was a nice offer. But I still wasn’t sure if I was ready to do that. But then again, Greg had been nothing but friendly towards me. There was no flirting of any sort. It sounded like a friendly offer, as if it was one of the Bravo boys or Clint asking me to do something. It only took a few seconds to make up my mind on what to do. 

 

_Sure. Can I get some more brownies too? I’m dying for baked treat hit over here. I’ll bring the beer._

 

“What’s that smile all about?” Jared’s voice made me look up. He was watching me with the mischievous little smirk back on his face. 

 

“Absolutely none of your fucking business,” I chuckled a little as I put my phone away. “Eat your ice cream before I throw it in your face.”

 

“I would like to see you try,” Jared challenged. The smirk on his face grew even more. Despite his teasing, I was happy to see that smirk. It took away all of the tension and stress that had been on his face for the last 2 months. As much as I hated to admit it, the smirk looked good on him. Sullen and stressed were not a good look on his handsome face. 

 

“But that’s a waste of such good ice cream,” I didn’t rise to his baiting. Instead I had another spoonful of the creamy delight. This could easily become my new favourite thing. The ice cream was handmade all from fresh ingredients. It was nothing like I’d tasted before.

 

“I can’t believe I haven’t found this before,” Jared said around a spoonful of his own concoction, his own line of teasing gone. It was something cotton candy flavoured. It suspiciously looked like there was gummy bears in it as well. If I was a mean sister I’d tease him about his girly choice in ice cream. “Aren’t I awesome for finding this?”

 

“No,” Alexi piped up from her chair. She giggled as Jared pulled a horrified face at her perfect timing and choice of words. 

 

“No!” Jared mock raged at her. “What do you mean no?”

 

Alexi’s high pitched giggled filled the room as Jared lent over and tickled her. In her flailing to get away from Jared’s tickling fingers, she smeared chocolate ice cream all over his face. Jared pulled back looking disgusted. The mess of chocolate dripped down off his face and onto his nice Ralph Lauren shirt. 

 

“Uh oh,” Alexi’s giggles intensified. She reached up trying to get Jared’s face again. This time he dodged her waving hands.

 

“Gross,” Jared pulled a face at her. “How about I do it to you?”

 

Jared’s hand hovered above his pink concoction. Alexi’s giggles nearly reached shrieking levels at his threat. My phone vibrated noisily on the table, making all 3 of us jump in surprise. I quickly snatched it up seeing Evans name on the screen. This time it was a group message sent out.

 

_Its a boy. 4lbs 4oz. Abby’s doing well and he’s healthy. No visitors tonight please everyone. We’d love to see you all tomorrow._

 

A second later another message came through, this time it was just to me.

 

_Except you guys. You’re welcome to bring Alexi up to meet her new brother and your god son._

 

“It’s a boy,” I announced. A sense of relief flooded through me. Abby was fine. The baby was fine. The niggling worry that had been in my mind quickly vanished at the news. “We’re allowed to go up now.”

 

“Lets go,” Jared didn’t need any encouragement. He shoved the last few mouthfuls of ice cream in his mouth. Alexi wasn’t so easily convinced. She started to make a fuss as soon as I took her ice cream away from her. It took another long 5 minutes for her to finish it. Each mouthful took longer than the one before for her to finish. As it as she left a huge mess. Jared quickly slipped the girl working a tip and an apology for the mess while I cleaned Alexi up. Maybe ice cream with a toddler wasn’t the best idea. But she didn’t make any fuss once she was done. She happily bounced out to the car, holding my hand and talking non stop in a mixture of babble and words. She didn’t squirm or fuss about going in her car seat either. The 20 minute trip to Fairfax Hospital flew by in a blur. It didn’t take long to find a car park and mead up to the maternity ward. We found Evans standing outside the nursery, looking in with a giddy look on his face. I’d never seen him smile so much. 

 

“Hey,” I said quietly, not really wanting to disturb on the private moment he was having. I didn’t need to be worried. Evans pulled Alexi and I into a tight hug as soon as we were close enough. His smile was contagious. It felt like my cheeks were hurting from smiling so much.

 

“Hey, Abby’s asleep,” Evans voice was a little muffled in my shoulder. When he pulled away his eyes looked suspiciously bright. Seeing him so happy made me start feeling a little teary myself. “The little guy is over there.”

 

I followed his finger to an enclosed crib near the front of the room. I could only just make out the small baby in it which a shock of dark, curly hair.

 

“He’s a little undercooked,” Evans voice wobbled a bit as he followed my gaze. “He has a little bit of trouble regulating his temperature still and the doctors wanted his oxygen levels to be a bit more stable. But he’s here and he's healthy.”

 

“He has so much hair,” I said with a breathless laugh. I hoisted Alexi up on my hip a little more and pointed towards the crib. “Can you see your baby brother?”

 

“Ew,” Alexi’s declaration made us all laugh. She wasn’t wrong. Even a few weeks premmature made the little guy look red and wrinkly. She stared through the window, looking absolutely fascinated with what was inside. I stood there quietly while Jared and Evans exchanged a few quiet words and a brief hug. Evans son was so tiny. He wasn’t wrong about him being a little undercooked. But he was healthy and that was the most important thing. 

 

“What’s his name?” I asked in the brief lull in conversation between Evans and Jared. I knew Abby and Evans had chosen names for either sex already. But they kept their lips sealed shut on it. It was a bit of a joke that their baby names were filed with SHIELD level 10 clearance.

 

“William,” Evans said after a few moments pause. He was beaming. There was no other way to describe it. He looked every inch the proud Dad. 

 

“William,” I repeated with a smile. William had been Evans Dad. He’d died a few years ago from cancer. I wasn’t surprised at all that was their choice of names for a boy. “I like it, good strong name.”

 

“William Riley Evans.”

 

The mention of his middle name knocked the breath out of me a little. But it felt so right. I was teary at the mention of Riley’s name. But this time it was happy tears.

 

“He would have liked that,” I said with my voice strong. It was nice to smile and think happy thoughts about Riley. “Riley really would have loved that.”

 

Riley wouldn’t have wanted Evans son to be named after him. It would have put him in the spotlight too much, something he hated. But having Riley as a middle name was just perfect. A beautiful reminder of someone who was so special to us all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I completely forgot to post this to AO3 when I finished it. Oops! Sorry guys.


	48. Chapter 48

The sound of retching pulled me from my sleep. I groaned, rolling out of bed, pulling on some clothes as I went. A quick glance at the clock showed it to be 0201. I rubbed my eyes tiredly as I walked to the bathroom. I was greeted by the sight of Jared awkwardly sprawled out across the floor, throwing up in the toilet. I wearily took in the sight in front of me. It was a rather uncommon occurrence. Despite Jared saying he’d back off his drinking, he hadn’t. He’d just gotten sneaker around me about it. But he never drank himself into such a state he was vomiting. 

“What do I owe this pleasure?” I asked, no bothering to hold in my snark. 

Between being back at work and babysitting Alexi, my days were packed. I was less busy when I was playing PA to Coulson just after Tony Stark announced to the world he was Iron Man. 

“Did I wake you?” Jared slurred. I didn’t get a chance to answer, he bent over and threw up once again. I waited until he retching died down to a pained groan.

“Of course you woke me,” I snapped. My patience was well and truely worn thin. “You promised me you wouldn’t do this.”

“I know,” Jared heaved again. He spat into the toilet bowl, but didn’t throw up. “But a fuck buddy invited me over with a bottle or three of red wine. It was fun.”

“Which you shouldn’t be drinking in the first place,” I ground out. “Perhaps you should tell your fuck buddy that you're hitting the vodka bottle too hard as well?”

“Oh hell no,” Jared broke into a goofy grin. If I wasn’t so cranky with him, it might have even made me smile. “Besides, I kept her too busy for her to complain.”

“Gross, I don’t need any details of your sex life,” I grumbled as I sat down on the floor. I could be here for the rest of the night judging by how green Jared was looking. 

“You only don’t want detail because…” Jared halted mid sentence, leaning over and throwing up again in the toilet. 

I sat there, tapping my fingers against my crossed legs waiting for the rest of the sentence. 

“Cuz you need to get laid, like so badly,” Jared finished as he slumped against the toilet. “It worked for me.”

“I’m vaguely impressed and disgusted at the same time you can even manage sex in your state,” I grumped at Jared, ignoring his dig at my lack of sex life. It was a pretty common thing for him to tease me about, especially at the moment. 

“I’m very flexible,” Jared’s goofy grin was back. “You know what I think?”

“That I should go over and fuck Greg and all my problems will be solved?” I said with an eye roll. I’d heard that a few million times over the last few weeks. Greg and I still hadn't caught up for our chilli dogs. He was working weird hours and I was too tired in the evenings to do much else except eat and sleep. My usual line of needing sleep never seemed to upset Greg. He’d always just offer to do it another time. 

“That wouldn’t hurt,” Jared’s grin suddenly diminished. He lent back over the toilet and deposited whatever he had for dinner back into the toilet. It felt a little bit sorry for him. It was no fun being so drunk you were throwing up. I got up, went back into the kitchen and grabbed him a bottle of water. By the time I got back into the bathroom, he had finished throwing up. He was just sitting there with his head resting on the toilet seat.

“Should I leave you here and trust you not to choke on your own vomit?” I asked as I set the water bottle down beside him. 

“No, no, no, sit down,” Jared slurred as he fumbled around for my hand. After a few seconds of groping, I let him grab my hand and pull me down onto the floor. “You know what? I had the most awesome revelation on my second bottle.”

“I’m surprised you can remember it,” I said dryly as I settled down beside him. It was far too late to be dealing with a drunk and philosophical Jared. But I couldn’t leave him this drunk. A little part of my mind was happy to see him so relaxed. He’d been an irritable, snarky pain in the ass over the last few weeks. Our parents had gone back to New York as soon as I started work again. Jared had been tagging along to the office with me, out of sheer boredom no doubt. Coulson didn’t say anything about it, besides a mildly surprised look when Jared hobbled in with me. He dumped a heap of data entry jobs on Jared to keep him out of trouble. 

“I can remember it because I am so fucking awesome,” Jared flashed his mega watt smile that would make most ladies go weak at the knees. Or fling their panties at him. I hated to admit, even I found that smile rather charming. The effect was ruined by him suddenly lurching for the toilet bowl yet again. 

I unscrewed the lid off the water bottle and handed it to him after he finished puking. Not much else was coming out of his body now. Jared took the water bottle and drained half of it in a few, long swallows. 

“As I was saying,” Jared swayed as he lent back against the bath. “I think you should go out and get laid.”

“Yes, you’ve said that a million times,” I grumbled. If this conversation was going to go around in circles about my sex life, I was out of here. He could fall on the floor and choke on his vomit. I’d deal with his dead body later on. 

“I have this theory,” Jared started proudly. I sighed deeply, cutting him off. His lower lip stuck out in a pout. “It's a good one. Don’t be cranky. I’ll buy you something pretty for disturbing your sleep.”

I sighed again, giving Jared a ‘hurry the fuck up’ look. I really needed to get back to bed if I was going to be functional at work tomorrow. Clint and I were going to try some light sparring first thing before we headed out to the range with Bravo team. I’d been looking forward to hitting the range so much. It was the only thing keeping me sane at the moment. 

“My theory has to do with the universe,” Jared spread his arms wide. “The big wide universe in which we aren’t anything more than microscopic specks of nothing in.”

“Mmmm hmm,” I murmured, already not interested in this conversation. Jared could ramble for hours about absolutely nothing.

“Nothing in this universe happens just once. Nothing. Infinity goes in both directions. There is no unique event, no singular moment.”

Jared’s words almost made him sound sober. Almost. But it also vaguely sounded like he was quoting something or someone. We’d watched an awful lot of TV while in hospital.

“Where did you steal that from?” I asked. Drunk Jared usually didn’t think of anything that deep.

“I did not steal it,” the mock outrage in Jared’s voice made me laugh. I couldn’t help it. He was such an idiot when he wanted to be. 

“Liar,” I said through my laughter. “All right, out with your deep and meaningful then. I need to get back to bed. I’m really tired.”

“It means that we get a second chance at everything,” Jared’s voice was serious, even thought he was smiling. “Life, love, hell even work.”

I waited patiently for Jared to make his point. I had a feeling it was already leading back to what he’d said earlier about me getting out into the dating, or at least fuck buddy world again. 

“Even when we think something has overlooked us, it’ll come around again,” Jared grinned crookedly at me. “So stop writing yourself off a lost cause in love, lust even. Cuz if you do we’re going to have start buying shares in battery companies.”

“You’re an idiot,” I scolded him affectionately. I knew it. Of course Jared’s drunken rambling was going to come back to my sex life. Especially if he’d just spent the last few hours in some lucky lady’s company. 

“I’m serious!” Jared protested, throwing his arms up in the air. “You have no idea how much better I feel after sex.”

“That’s enough about me and my lack of sex life,” I said, pushing myself up off the floor. “And mine don’t need batteries. They’re rechargeable. Are you going to bed or are you going to sleep in here?”

“You’re no fun,” Jared pouted. A second later a thoughtful look crossed his face. “What do you mean your sex toys are rechargeable?”

“Good night Jared, I’ll yell at you in the morning for getting drunk.”

I ignored Jared’s protests as I went back to bed. He was such a pain in the ass when he wanted to be. But at the same time, I knew he just wanted me to be happy as well. My big brother always looking out for me, even when I didn’t need him to. I fell face first onto the bed with a tired groan. I closed my eyes feeling ready to drift off to sleep almost immediately. 

The obnoxious sound of the Imperial Death March blared across the room. I sighed, pulling my pillow over my head hoping it would make the sound go away. It did after another dozen rings. But the phone started again as soon as it hung up. I really shouldn’t ignore it. The world was probably ending for Coulson to be ringing me at this hour.

I fumbled for the phone, answering it with something crossed between a grunt and a greeting.

“Sorry to wake you,” Coulson sounded sincere in his apology. “But I’m going to need you in at work by 0400.”

“Why?” I couldn’t stop the whining tone slip into my voice. “Come on Coulson, if the world is imploding surely you have some secret agent power to make it stop until it's a respectable hour?”

My brain to mouth filter must have completely shut off for the night. I couldn’t believe the rambling bullshit that just came out of my mouth. Fortunately for me, Coulson had a small chuckle instead of reaming me out.

“Sorry, but trust me, this is something you probably don’t want to miss,” Coulson’s cryptic words perked my interest. “Pack a bag for a few days. Tell Jared he can tag along if he really wants to. Meet me in the hanger.”

Before I could ask any questions, Coulson hung up. I pulled the phone away from my ear with a small grumble. Dammit, now I wasn’t going to be able to get back to sleep in anticipation of what was about to come. I sighed in defeat. This was going to be a long day. Just as I swung my feet over the edge of the bed, Jared appeared my room right in front of me.

“I heard your phone ring, where are we going?” Jared asked bouncing as much as he could on his crutches. “When do we leave? Do you want me to teleport us there right now? Coffee? Taco Bell? I could so go for some Taco Bell.”

“Are you fucking high?” I asked squinting up at Jared. He normally wasn’t this bouncy when he was drunk. Then again, I hadn’t seen him this drunk for a very long time.

“I don’t do drugs, you should know that,” Jared made a disgusted face at me. It was quickly gone and replaced by the excited grin on his face instead. “Taco Bell and coffee. I’ll be back in 10 minutes. Don’t you dare leave without me.”

Half a second later he was gone. I stared at the space he’d just been standing in. This was all just way too much for my tired brain. I flopped back down on the bed and threw my arm over my eyes. I might just have a quick nap while he went and got breakfast.

I woke up to the smell of coffee wafting under my nose. I blindly reached out for the coffee cup, only to feel nothing in front of me. But I could smell the coffee and Taco Bell despite the empty room. No doubt Jared had teleported in here, waved coffee around and left just as quickly. It took me about a minute of convincing my body that it really did want to get up and have a coffee. Even at 3 in the morning. 

It wasn’t until Jared started singing ‘I ran over the Taco Bell dog’ I actually got moving. In no universe was there a need for Jared to sing. Especially while drunk at this stupid hour of the morning. Neither of us were gifted with any sort of musical talent. Jared’s voice sounded more like a dying cat than actual singing right now. If he kept it up we might find ourselves kicked out of the apartment.

“Why oh why are you singing Weird Al this early in the morning?” I grumbled as I walked out of my bedroom. 

“The fact you know that it’s Weird Al that I’m singing makes you my favourite sister,” Jared grinned up at me from his seat on the couch. His ankle was free from the moon boot, propped up on the table. The scars on it were still pink and raised. But at least his ankle looked somewhat normal. He still wasn’t supposed to be weight bearing on it. But I’d seen him start sneaking in little things, like resting on it while he was standing. The few times we’d been at Clint’s place over the last week and a bit, Laura had called him out on it every single time. Her doctor voice lectures on him following orders to stay off it amused me to no end. 

“I’m your only sister,” I pointed out, flopping down on the couch next to him. Jared only snickered in response, his mouth too full to reply. He’d gotten a ridiculous amount of Taco Bell. I picked up a burrito and bit into it. The burst of cheese and greasy meat was really good. It was gone in a few bites, washed down with my vanilla latte. 

Despite being bone tired, I was awake and after packing a bag for each other us, mostly ready to go. Jared was looking a little more sober after food and the tell tale sigs of a massive hangover waiting to kick in. It didn’t stop him from teleporting everywhere, almost like he was bouncing around. It was hilarious and down right fucking annoying at the same time. The second I said I was ready to go, Jared grabbed my arm teleported us to the hanger. Our sudden appearance right in front of Coulson made him jump. His coffee splashed out over his cup dangerously close to his crisp white shirt. It was only Coulson’s good reflexes that stopped him getting a chest full of coffee. 

“You need a warning bell when you teleport,” Coulson scolded Jared, probably more pissed about losing some of his coffee than our sudden appearance. 

“I’ll get one and attach it to my choke chain I know I’m going to have when I go back on active duty,” Jared said smartly. His words were still a little slurred, though he looked a hell of a lot more sober than before. The minor falter of balance didn’t go unnoticed by Coulson.

“Are you drunk?” Coulson asked giving Jared an unamused look. 

“To be fair I have thrown up most of it,” Jared nodded seriously. “And ate far too much Taco Bell.”

“Thats disgusting that you’re eating Taco Bell this early,” Clint’s voice came from behind us. I craned my head around to see him walking across the tarmac. He was carrying a tray of coffee’s and a brown paper bag that smelt like bagels. He looked as tired as I felt. Dark circles stood out clearly against his pale skin. Sitting in an office all day hadn’t done anything for any of our complexions. 

“Gimme,” I stretched out my fingers, wriggling them in Clint’s direction for the coffee. The bagels could wait for later.

“What do I get for getting you coffee?” Clint stopped just out of reach of my grabbing fingers. I pulled a face and made a whining noise. It had no effect on him. Clint just stood there waiting patiently for my offer.

“I’ll let you take off and fly halfway,” I quickly conceded. It was always a good bargaining chip with Clint. He mulled the offer over for half a second before pulling out one of the cups and handing it to me. 

“Lets go,” Coulson’s gaze lingered on Clint for a moment longer than normal. I didn’t miss the questioning quirk of Coulson’s raised eyebrow. Nor the barely there shake of Clint’s head. I’d obviously missed something. I could ask Clint about it when we get into the air. 

A Quinjet was already powered up and ready to go for us. It only took 5 minutes before we were cleared and in the air to the set of coordinates that looked vaguely familiar. Clint’s face was one of pure bliss as he eased the Quinjet into the dim pre-dawn air. As soon as we levelled out, Coulson got up from his seat in the back. He lent on the back of the co-pilot chair, dropping a file into my lap. Even though I was expecting it, the motion made me jump. 

“This fell into my lap at midnight,” Coulson had a fairly neutral expression on his face. “SHIELD has a demonstration of their prototype F-35’s this weekend to a panel of military and government officials. We only have 2 jets at the moment, there was a training incident. One of them is now out of commission, as are both our test pilots.”

That didn’t sound good for anyone involved. But it also sparked my interest even more than before. 

“Who fucked up?” I asked, flicking open the file in my lap. On the first page there was a detailed flight plan for the demonstration. 

“The first was a technical fault and the pilot had to eject. That jet is lying in pieces scattered across the Atlantic. The pilot is going to be ok, but he’s a bit shaken up,” Coulson explained, making me wince. Ejecting could be like playing Russian Roulette. At least the pilot was alive. “And other test pilot, well, his accident involved a flight of stairs and his leg looks a little like Jared’s.”

The squawk of protest from Jared got ignored by the rest of us. His rambles at least brought a smile to Clint’s face.

“Since the jets are so new, SHIELD hasn’t got anyone else trained on them. People with fighter jet experience and SHIELD clearance are in very short supply,” Coulson continued, talking over the top of Jared. “So we’re flying to Langley Air Force Base where they currently are.”

It took me a lot longer than it should have to process what Coulson was saying. I just sat there blinking stupidly at Coulson. Surely he couldn’t be suggesting what was going on in my head? Nes to me, Clint’s focus had turned to Coulson, a look of disbelief on his face. 

“So I need you to get your fighter pilot brain back on,” Coulson’s face finally cracked into a small smile. It was very strained and not looking too genuine. “The demonstration is Saturday. Start reading up because it’s a very specific demonstration. Your ass is going to be in a jet as soon as we land.” 

I was speechless as I opened the file. This was not what I was expecting, not even in my wildest dreams would I think this would be happening. The first thing in the file was a very complicated and extensive flight plan. My brain started to hurt looking at the first few lines. 

Then again, I didn’t think most of the things that happened in my life over the last year would have ever happened either. This was such a big leap into getting back into the playing field. Grateful didn’t begin to describe how I felt towards Coulson right now. 

“Thank you,” I said quietly as Coulson went to turn away. This was something that Coulson could have very easily said no to. There was no way I was the only ex fighter pilot in the SHIELD ranks. 

“Don’t thank me yet,” Coulson said, the warning in his voice clear. “You aren’t going to have time to scratch your ass for the next few days. Get reading.”

“Yessir,” my reply was instant. I instantly looked down and began reading, just to keep myself in the good books. This was a very good sign that Coulson might be at the end of his being pissed off at us stage. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a tiny smile creep onto Coulson’s face before he turned away. Yep, this was a very good sign. As crazy as the next few days might be, this was also going to be a lot of fun. 

“Lucky,” Clint said quietly. “Any chance I get to come and fly with you?”

“Only if it’s a two seater,” I chuckled under my breath, not looking up at him. The routine I was doing looked like it was going to be complicated as hell. In the morning I’d be doing a lot of low level manoeuvring and high speed passes.The afternoon session would be an aerial fight between the F-35 and 2 Raptors to prove air to air superiority. I muttered curses under my breath at reading that. While I was confident about my air to air combat skills, they were turning into a rather obsolete craft. 

“How are you feeling about this?” Clint asked me, keeping his voice quiet still. Jared was talking Coulson’s ear off in the back, keeping them both amused.

“Excited, nervous, a bit dumb founded it's actually happening,” I replied, my eyes still scanning the file. “Whats going on with you?”

“What do you mean?” Clint looked over at me with a frown. “I’m tired as hell. Its stupid o’clock which my body is not used to.”

“I meant that look between you and Coulson earlier,” I finally looked up from the file. “You aren’t your usual smart ass self this morning. I fully expected you to either punch Jared or tease him mercilessly about being drunk.”

Clint was silent for a very long time. So long that I went back to reading, thinking he wasn’t going to answer me. 

“No matter what I say or do at the moment, I just can’t do anything right,” Clint’s words were so soft I nearly missed them. I peeked up at him. He looked so damn lost and sad right now. It didn’t take a genius to figure out he was referring to him and Laura. 

“Is she still mad about Pripyat?” I asked tentatively. Clint never discussed what he and Laura argued about when we got back. It wasn’t any of my business to ask either. The time I’d spent over there lately made things look fairly normal. The kids latched onto me, as they always did. Laura was her usual happy and sarcastic self. There was nothing out of the ordinary in the Barton household that I could see on the surface.

“A little, more mad that I told her if she didn’t like me keeping secrets than she knew where the door was,” Clint muttered, his ears starting to turn a brilliant shade of red at his embarrassment. “I didn’t mean it. She’s never been mad about me keeping secrets before.”

“Clint,” I drew out the I in his name in an exasperated sigh. I knew I shouldn’t be judgemental. There was stupid things to say and a whole new level of stupid in what Clint just said. “I’m terrible at relationships, but even I know that was a really dumb thing to say.”

“Someone handed her my go to bag while we were still in hospital and she asked where the hell all the money had come from,” the red from Clint’s ears started to creep along his neck. He cleared his throat before he spoke again. “That’s what started the argument about me keeping secrets. Plus the whole sneaking off without telling her to get Jared. I know, I said the wrong shit and I’m still paying for it. I’ve been sleeping in the spare room since we got home.”

Fuck me. That wasn’t good. I could only stare at Clint at he rambled on looking more uncomfortable with every passing second.

“Then she got upset that I was leaving for a few days again,” Clint sighed heavily. “I can’t even remember what I said this time, but it was wrong. We ended up yelling at each other. Again.”

“I’m sorry,” I couldn’t think of anything else to say. 

“You aren’t the one who needs to apologise,” Clint’s eyes briefly flicked back to Jared. “And he has, profusely, so don’t stick up for him. He deserves every bit of backlash he gets for that stupid shit he pulled. You weren't the one who told her to leave because things got a bit rough in an argument. This is my fault and I have to try and work it out.”

“You could try and find another really rare Pandora charm?” I suggested, cringing as the words left my mouth. That was probably the most unhelpful thing I could have thought of. Even if it did help Jared.

“I think I’m going to need more than a Pandora charm to get myself out of this one,” Clint sighed again, slumping down in the chair a little more. He hunched over, looking very small and child like. It was so unlike him to not be the strong one.

My brain fumbled for the right words to say. I was drawing a complete blank. There was only one thing I could think of and it wasn’t helpful at all. I reached over and grabbed Clint’s hand giving it a tight squeeze.

“This would be so much easier if we were fighting over something normal couples do,” Clint grumbled, lacing his fingers through mine. His grip was near crushing, but I wasn’t going to complain. “Why can’t we fight over Laura being jealous that I work with 2 women? I’d give anything for her to throw the having an affair line at me instead of this.”

“Because nothing in our lives is ever normal, or easy,” I said ruefully. Both Clint and Natasha had fed me this exact line so many times. It was my turn to remind Clint of it. “Because we’re essentially paid to be assassins and crazy comes with the territory.”

“Now, now, STRIKE is a clandestine paramilitary unit, we are not assassins,” Clint made air quotes with the word assassins. A tiny smile was pulling at his lips. “This isn’t a video game.”

“Sounds like my instructors telling us during fighter training that we aren’t in Top Gun,” I smiled, relaxing that I’d said the right thing. 

“Its what got drilled into us at the Academy,” Clint’s iron grip on my hand released a little. I inwardly winced at the feeling of the blood rushing back to my fingers. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to dump it all on you. I’m just frustrated.”

“I would be too,” I reassured him. “And you’re not dumping anything on me. God knows you’ve helped me out more times than I can count over the last year. This is what friends are for.”

“I know,” Clint smile relaxed onto his face a little more. “You look mildly pissed every time you look at Jared lately. Care to share whats bothering you?”

Damn him and living up to his code name. Clint really didn’t miss anything. There was no point lying, or trying to change to subject back to him. Once Clint was done speaking about something, that was final. I may as well get this out in the open and be done with it.

“Jared’s been hitting the vodka bottle a bit too hard lately,” I fought back a sigh. There was too much sighing going on today. “He promised he’d back off, but he hasn’t. It can’t be good for him considering he’s still on heavy duty narcotics.”

“Not to mention addictive,” Clint’s face darkened at my words. “I’ll deal with this quietly. Don’t breath a word of it to anyone.”

“Done,” that was the last of it to come from my mouth. I warned Jared that I didn’t have a problem getting Clint involved. Like everything else he’d done over the last few months, he was about to wear the consequences of his actions. 

“Why is he drunk anyway?” Clint asked after a few moments pause.

“Apparently he and a fuck buddy had a few bottles of red wine,” I wrinkled my nose in disgust at his choice of drinks. “And I had to sit on the bathroom floor listening to his philosophical bullshit while he vomited for 20 minutes.”

“Fun,” Clint said dryly, giving me a sympathetic smile. “Did his philosophical bullshit even make any sense?”

“It was basically a very fancy way of telling me I need to go out and get laid,” I chuckled, turning my attention back down to the file. “Which I already know, so don’t you start or I’m not going to let you fly the entire way to Langley Base.”

“Consider my mouth completely shut,” Clint’s smile stretched into something that looked genuine. It chased away the traces of stress from before. “Even if I do agree.”

I lazily reached over and kicked him for his teasing. I really needed to get reading and getting into an argument about my lack of sex life wasn’t going to help. Not that Clint could talk at the moment. If he was sleeping in the spare room, no doubt most of his showers were cold ones. 

The flight was only short, leaving me barely any time to get stuck into some real reading. It was going to be hell memorising it all. Coulson had a lot of faith with me getting this right in such a short amount of time. The other pilots would have had at least 2-3 months of preparation for something this important. 

It was all very real, very quickly. I barely had time to process anything except nerves. As Clint landed and taxied straight to a hanger, a small group of people were already there and waiting for me. I easily recognised my old CO and the Base Commander. The pit of nerves in my stomach got bigger as I saw the pissed off expression on the Base Commanders face. He wasn’t my biggest fan, very old school and in the belief that females should stick to gender specific roles. No doubt my current role in SHIELD was going to make him hate me even more. My old CO always seemed rather indifferent towards me. He was always polite and professional, but I always seemed to be invisible to him.

“This isn’t going to be fun,” I murmured, the pit of nerves in my stomach growing with every second. “I don’t think I can do this.”

"You can do this,” Clint encouraged me. “You’ve done crazier shit than having to fly around making people ooh and ahh over a display.”

“I’m so rusty there might be ooh and ahh with me crashing into the hard deck,” I could feel my heart rate increase looking out over the now growing crowd. More people had joined in, looking impatient as Clint manoeuvred the Quinjet into place.

“Kari I doubt you got flying F-22’s straight up if you were a shitty pilot,” Clint rolled his eyes. He was in place and started to power down. “In my years at SHIELD I’ve never seen anyone come close to how well you fly. So put your big girl pants on and get out there. Show those boys how its done.”

“Come on guys, lets go,” Coulson called from the back. I had no choice now. I was in this whether I thought I could do it or not. Out of habit I made sure the Quinjet was powered down properly, making Clint roll his eyes at me, before grabbing my bag and heading out into the hanger. Coulson and Jared were already out, exchanging pleasantries. 

“Agent Barton,” Coulson introduced Clint straight away. “And everyone already knows Agent Kari Lyngley. Thank you for accommodating us on such short notice.”

“Good to see you again Kari,” my old CO, Colonel James Sharpe, stood forward and shook my hand firmly. I was a little taken back at his quick greeting. He didn’t give anyone else a chance to say a word to me. “You’ve got a few big days, so I’ll get you started ASAP. First hop at 0830. Lets move.”

I was quickly ushered into a car without Coulson, Jared or Clint and speeding away in the early morning towards my old work. It was very surreal being back here, sitting next to my old CO. I felt awkward and incredibly shy all of a sudden, on top of my increasing nerves. The Taco Bell was sitting very uncomfortably in my stomach. 

“The plan is to send you up in a Raptor this morning, make sure you haven’t forgotten anything,” Sharpe broke the silence after a few moments. “Then this afternoon you’ll go up in the F-35 with a few of the other guys. How many hours have you been clocking up at SHIELD?”

“Far too many, but I couldn’t give you an exact number” I said timidly. “SHIELD don’t log my flight hours. I spend more time on the ground these days than flying, since I’m not actually a SHIELD pilot.”

“So what is it that you do in SHIELD exactly?” Sharpe looked over at me with a frown. “I thought they snapped you up for this exact reason?”

“I’m STRIKE,” I explained, trying not to fidget under his stare. “Special Tactical Reserve for International Key Emergencies. Basically SHIELD Special Forces. But I get lumped with supply drops, taxi missions and other stuff as well.”

“Frogger’s story makes so much more sense now from when he saw you at Camp Cooke.” To my surprise Sharpe’s face relaxed into a smile. “Its good to see you again Kari. You’ve been missed around here.”

“Really?” I couldn’t stop that one word slipping out of my mouth. As much as I loved my previous job, I was very much on the outside of any social circles. I was included out of sheer politeness most of the time.

“Your flying kept a lot of guys on their toes. I’d never seen such a determined young pilot come flying through the ranks like you,” Sharpe chuckled quietly. His face quickly turned serious again. “I’m so sorry about what happened. Why didn’t you tell anyone those guys were giving you a hard time?”

“Because at the time it seemed insignificant,” I shrugged, starting to pick at my nails in my discomfort. “Just 2 guys being arrogant assholes. I knew I could handle whatever they threw at me, it wasn’t anything I hadn’t heard before. It never occurred to me that they’d try something like they did.”

Like the majority of the STRIKE guys, it never seemed to occur to any of the guys from my old Squadron I was actually a girl. Well, not that I knew of. Even walking around in a bikini didn’t seem to draw any attention during our summer pool parties.

“It still doesn’t lessen the guilt a lot of us feel over it,” Sharpe shook his head. “It made it worse when SHIELD wouldn’t actually tell us what happened to you. It wasn’t until Frogger came back and said he ran into you we knew you were alive. It was a very nice surprise this morning to hear it was you coming for this demo. Its good to see you alive and doing well.”

“I was too busy dealing with my drunk brother to get excited,” I said dryly, but a small smile started to creep onto my lips. This was an unexpected turn of events. I thought I might spend the next few days hiding in my room and avoiding everyone. “But thank you.”  I always felt incredibly awkward just saying two simple words, like thank you, when someone had put a lot of thought into apologising for something. It was obvious to see that my situation had been a lot harder to the others than I’d ever realised. 

“So, this morning you’ll be going up with me,” Sharpe’s voice turned back to serious. Our little bonding moment was done and dusted, probably never to be spoken of again. “This afternoon will be Frogger, Helix and Stingray.”

Fuck, I was in for an ass kicking with those three if my flying skills were really rusty. At least going up with Sharpe this morning would give me one hell of a refresher. He was one of the best pilots you could find in USAF. Tough as nails and unforgiving, but he was a brilliant teacher. I was going to need all the brushing up I could get. Though his style would more be an ass kick than a brush.

Judging by the file I’d been reading, SHIELD’s F-35 had near identical controls wise to a F-22. But a whole new level of power. The test pilot who’d been injured last night would give me a brief before I went up anyway. I’m sure SHIELD didn’t want another 105 million dollar aircraft in pieces over the Atlantic ocean. 

It only felt like seconds before we pulled up to the flight building. At this early hour is was deserted. But give it another hour or two and everyone would start coming to work for the day. The calm before the storm. No doubt I’d have a lot of people gawking over the cockpit cam while I was flying. Damn technology and being able to live stream everything these days.

“We’ll go over our mission brief after we’re geared up,” Sharpe said as we both climbed out of the car. “Since this is last minute, its very much fly by the seat of our pants.”

I hid a smile at the disgusted look on his face. Sharpe was a planner. Even for short missions, he’d go over everything in meticulous detail. It usually meant hours in the briefing room. Then after missions, it’d be even longer in the debrief getting your flying pulled apart for everything you did wrong. Having to rush me through so much today was probably making his inner OCD want to go and hang itself. 

“I hope we have stuff that still fits you,” Sharpe chuckled quietly as his eyes gazed over me. “You looked 15 pounds lighter than when I last saw you.”

“Not quite, I have put some muscle on,” I lied. I hadn’t been brave enough to step on the scales when I left hospital. I’m sure I’d be horrified by the numbers. I hated my body so much. It was times like this I wished I was normal and was the one always whining I had to watch what I ate so I didn’t get fat. “I did pack a flight suit if that helps.”

“It does, lets go.”

It was very surreal to be stepping back into the building and heading to the locker room to get changed. It didn’t take me long to go to the toilet, get changed into the flight suit and head into the room that stored all the extra gear needed for a flight. My old locker with my gear was still there, nothing had been touched in it. My name had been taken off the front of it but other than that, it was exactly how I left it. I stood there, staring into the full locker not sure how I was feeling. 

“You have no idea the mad scramble it was to pull all of that out of storage,” Sharpe commented as he walked in. “Remember how to put it all on?”

“Just like putting my underwear on,” I smiled, trying to keep myself calm. The pit of nerves in my stomach from earlier came back in full force. It felt like an entire troupe of butterflies tap dancing in my stomach. To prove my point, I pulled the anti g suit out, wrapping it around my waist. It was the same fiddly pain in the ass garment as before. My LPU, survival vest and flight harness were all the same as before. Uncomfortable and digging in all the wrong places. It was always a joke that you knew your survival vest was in the right position when the handle of the 9mm included was digging in your ribs. 

“Ready?” Sharpe asked as he adjusted the last of his own straps. 

“Of course.”

I was so not ready for this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter and delay everyone. My new job has me all over the place with working hours and I’m finding it hard to squeeze my writing in. So I broke this down into a shorter chapter so it didn’t take another month to get it all out. So sorry if it feels like its not going anywhere. I promise its setting things up to come soon!


	49. Chapter 49

I'd forgotten how hard flying could be on your body. It was a different kind of exertion than what I’d gotten used to over the last year at SHIELD. There were muscles I’d forgotten existed that started to ache as soon as I was out of the jet. The morning hop with Sharpe had been nothing but a blur of adrenaline filled excitement. It felt like the first time I’d flown one all over again. The entire thing was a rushed blur, nothing sticking in my memory. Sitting back in the cockpit of a F-22 Raptor was like being home. I didn’t realise how much I’d missing it until the jet rumbled to life underneath me. Whatever I did in the air must have been right. When I was back on the ground, Sharpe had come over and given me a fist bump. No words were needed.

There was no higher praise from Sharpe than a high 5 or fist bump. I could count on one hand the amount of times I’d gotten one. Some guys had gone years without any sign of praise from our commanding officer. I was on cloud 9 all the way through post hop debrief. Even the criticism of the complicated aerobatic manoeuvres where I’d missed my timing by seconds didn’t bring me down. I was wrong about flying the Quinjet not keeping my skill up. Those long flights by myself when I’d gotten bored and practiced all the high speed manoeuvres had kept me sharp enough to pull it off in the more agile fighter jet. It was such a nice feeling to be sitting here very confident about my abilities. The nerves of before were long gone. I was excited and completely pumped for what was to come.

Currently I was sitting in the briefing room, by myself, feet up on the desk in front of me waiting for the Agent to brief me on the F-35. Agent Browning was meant to be here 20 minutes ago. So I was sitting in an empty room playing on my phone. Clint, Jared and Coulson were nowhere to be found. I’d sent them all a text asking for some food since I wasn’t allowed to leave the flight building but hadn’t heard anything back yet. Adrenaline and a can of Red Bull weren’t going to keep me going forever. I was dreading the crash of both of those things. My phone vibrated in my hand, bringing another text from Greg.

_So, are you being serious its just like driving a car? Once you can fly one thing, the rest are easy?_

I smiled at the reply. He’d asked me earlier if I was doing anything on the weekend. He was day shift for the weekend and wanted to try and catch up. It’d been a slightly awkward conversation because I knew I couldn’t tell him exactly what I was doing. But the explanation of I was at an Air Force Base away from DC and doing a demo in a fighter jet seemed to give him more than enough questions to fling at me.

_Not easy, but yeah think of it like I get to drive a Lamborghini. A very illegally super up Lamborghini thats more like sitting on a stick of Acme dynamite._

The smile couldn’t be wiped off my face as I typed out my reply. I was so buzzed right now, I couldn’t stop fidgeting in my seat. My leg bounced impatiently against the desk, my free hand was undoing and redoing up a zipper on my sleeve. Thankfully Greg was quick on the replying today.

_Why am I picturing you like Wile E Coyote strapped to a rocket?_

Once I read it, I couldn’t get the picture out of my head. I chuckled quietly. He wasn’t half wrong. It really was a very accurate description of what it felt like.

_That is basically was it feels like. If filming is allowed, I’ll try and send you something of me flying._

I paused midway through the text. I felt bad that I kept turning Greg down for something so simple. He wasn’t showing anything to me beyond being a friend. I needed to find some balls and just go have chilli dogs and beer with him. Sucking in a deep breath, I quickly typed out the rest.

_I should be home by Monday at the latest. Lets do chilli dogs and beer whenever you’re free from work._

I hit send before I could second guess myself. I was over complicating a very simple situation. Like I’d pointed out to Jared, numerous times, Greg and I could be just friends. There didn’t have to be anything sexual behind us doing anything. Besides, who could turn down Ben’s Chilli Bowl and beer? After this full on weekend, I was going to need some winding down. The message from Greg came back quickly.

_I’m free Tuesday. Wanna make it about 6?_

I felt a small thrill at how quickly he replied and his answer. He was meant to be at work at the moment, yet he was texting me so quickly.

_1800 it is. I’ll put it in the calendar and make it official._

My own reply was just as quick. As soon as I pressed send, the door opened. I looked around, expecting to see Agent Browning. But it was only Coulson.

“He’s on his way,” Coulson reassured me. He was carrying a plate with him and a coffee mug. “Your request for food.”

“You’re a life saver,” I gushed. I was starving. If Coulson hadn’t come and saved my stomach, I would have resorted to raiding the vending machine. I didn’t have any money on me, but I knew if you shook and kicked it a certain way, you could get stuff out of it. Coulson put the plate and coffee on the table next to me, his stern gaze drifting to my feet on the desk. I instantly put my feet where they belonged, on the floor.

“How do you feel?” Coulson asked, sliding into the chair next to me.

“Sore, but excited.” I reached over and grabbed one of the sandwich halves. Whatever the toasted sandwich was, smelt amazing. The melted cheese leaked out of the bread, leaving a greasy mess on my fingers. I eagerly licked my fingers before biting into the sandwich. It was ham, cheese and mayonnaise. So simple, but so good. I inhaled the half in my hand within a few bites.

“Colonel Sharpe was full of praise for you this morning,” Coulson smiled, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “He said he’s looking forward to you flying the F-35 this afternoon. Might raise an eyebrow or two for those who haven’t seen you before.”

“I’m looking forward to the F-35,” I said around a mouthful of sandwich. Coulson rolled his eyes, but didn’t berate me for speaking with my mouth full. “The eyebrow raising might be from me crashing and burning though.”

“I doubt that,” Coulson chuckled, this time his face relaxed into a more genuine pleased expression. I just couldn’t place what was on his mind though. He looked like something was really bothering him. “This morning was just solid proof of how you managed to fly F-22’s straight up. I have to admit, I’m very impressed.”

“Thanks Coulson.” I couldn’t wipe the goofy grin off my face at his praise. First Sharpe and now Coulson. Today was looking pretty fucking awesome.

“Just…” Coulson trailed off, the smile falling away from his face. I could finally see the real expression of what he was feeling. He looked worried. Very, very worried. “Please be careful up there. I don’t want to spend another 2 months in hospital with you.”

Ah, there it was. The thing that was bothering him the most. I thought it might have been he wasn’t happy that I got to do something like this when I should still be punished. Instead it was Coulson being a mother hen and worrying about me. Flying a prototype aircraft was dangerous enough, let alone one that had already had a record of a crash.

“I will Phil,” I quickly soothed him. “I promise I’ll be extra careful. Believe me, I don’t want to spend any more time in hospital either.”

“Make sure you eat everything,” Coulson nodded, looking satisfied with my reassurance. Checking his watch, he pushed himself up from the chair with a muffled groan. “If you want anything else send one of us a message. We’re currently being given tours. Barton is trying to charm his way into a flight.”

“I’d pay good money to see someone take him up in a T-38,” I smiled as I shoved more sandwich in my mouth. That would make my day to see someone really put Clint through his paces while flying. He might not be as tough as he thinks he is. The smaller and agile trainer jet could really move. It was used against the F-22 for combat simulations due to it being a much to run and maintain than the Raptor. I’d flown one many times before, even being as old as they were, they could still give the F-22 a run for its money.

“I wouldn’t mind going up in one either,” Coulson said, surprising the hell out of me. “It looks like fun.”

“I would personally take you up Sir if you can manage to make it happen,” I grinned. Aching muscles or not, if Coulson wanted a spin, I’d drag my ass into the cockpit and manage a third flight.

“I don’t think my stomach could handle your flying,” Coulson chuckled, giving me a pat on the shoulder. “I’ll see you after.”

I’d already shoved more sandwich in my mouth, so I waved in response. As Coulson walked out, another middle aged man walked in. Judging by his SHIELD shirt and leg in a full cast and crutches, it was pretty solid guess it was Agent Browning.

“Agent Lyngley, how lovely to finally meet you,” the middle aged man’s face broke into an easy smile. He stuck out his hand and I took it in a firm grip. “Nice flying this morning. I can see why you got this gig on short notice.”

“Thank you.” I wasn’t sure what else to say. Sometimes I hated the reputation that followed me. Having the last name of Lyngley was bad enough in SHIELD. Jared had bitched about it a few times while he was still at the Academy. People thought he was getting through on his last name, not his own merits. On top of that, I also had the reputation of STRIKE Team Delta following me. It was a very big reputation to live up to.

“Let’s get started.” Browning slid into the chair next to me with a wince. The folder which he had under his arm landed on my table with a loud smack. “So the cockpit is based on the same design as the F-22.”

I quickly shoved the rest of my sandwich in my mouth. I didn’t want to miss a thing of this briefing.

2 hours later, my head was hurting from the information overload. Agent Browning had left me to absorb everything while he found coffee. I buried my face into the file trying to get as much information as possible to stick in my head. I was so grateful for my good memory right now. It really was a lot to take in. Luckily for me, the basic operating systems were just like he said, based on the F-22 but completely digital. Controls wise it was no different to fly than a Raptor. However, its speed was slightly faster than a Raptor and it handled better. I’d need to be careful about my controls, the side stick was more sensitive by another 1/16th of an inch. Not much at all when you read it on paper, but when you’re doing high speed aerobatics, it counted.  
 The most exciting thing on SHIELD’s F-35 was the inclusion of STOVL, just like the Quinjet. The short take-off and vertical landing gave it the ability to take off and land nearly anywhere. Technically, it was a VTOL, vertical take off and landing. But apparently the people at Lockheed Martin, the civilian contractors doing the F-35’s for the military, refused to believe that VTOL was possible with such heavy payloads for weapons and fuel. SHIELD blew them right out of the water with that theory. But SHIELD aircraft designers had to play nice and follow the rules. So Agent Browning told me anyway. I didn’t need to hear the reasons behind the pissing match between SHIELD and Lockheed Martin. All I needed was to know how to fly the jet safely.

A gentle yank on my braid brought my attention back down to Earth. I scowled, reaching around to hit the offending person.

“Fuck off Hawk, I’m busy,” I grumped as my hand connected with a body.

“Ow, fuck Knuckles,” a voice that definitely didn’t belong to Clint came out. I whipped my head around in mild horror to see who I’d just hit. It was Gareth. He was rubbing his side where I’d landed the fairly hard hit. I should have known it wasn’t Clint. I didn’t feel like I’d broken my hand when I hit him.

“Fuck, sorry Frogger.” I shot him an apologetic grin. “I thought you were someone else.”

“Obviously.” Gareth rolled his eyes playfully. Even my smack in the side didn’t seem to deter his good mood. “Its good to see you, and not hungover this time.”

If only Gareth knew that being hungover was the least of my problems last time we’d seen each other. Looking back now I’m not sure how I even managed to function that day. Let alone sit there and have a conversation with someone. Now wasn’t the time to think about that though.

“I’m saving that for Sunday morning,” I chuckled, pushing back the bad memories. “I’m going to need it. Good to see you too.”

Gareth sat down in the chair next to me, giving me a good look at him. He looked different from the last time I saw him. His flight suit was a lot more filled out than it used to be, it looked to be all muscle too. I had to bite my tongue to stop myself saying something really stupid about his new found muscle.

“Who’s ass did you kiss to get this?” Gareth teased. “Or how much bloodshed was there?”

“The halls of the Triskelion were running red from the blood of my victims,” I said dramatically. The grin on my face gave it away how about serious I wasn’t being. “Honestly, I got this dumped in my lap at 0430. Apparently I was the last option.”

“Come on, with the way you flew this morning you should have been the first option.” Gareth looked mildly surprised at my honesty. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Was everyone watching that? “What’s SHIELD doing wasting your flying talent?”

“Putting my much better shooting talent to use.” Everyone as so nosy about what I actually did in SHIELD these days. I was expecting a full interrogation over beers on Saturday night. “They gave me a sniper rifle and let me loose in the world.”

“I would pay good money to see that,” Gareth chuckled. “Any chance you can let us look in that wicked looking jet you came in?”

“I will ask my handler.” There was going to be a lot of swapping going on this weekend. At least the Quinjet was used to getting a lot of abuse. There were some really ordinary pilots in SHIELD. I’d cringed many times seeing what some of the other pilots did to them.

“Handler, not boss?” Gareth raised an eyebrow. “That makes it sound like you have someone to keep you on a leash.”

“SHIELD like to keep their important assets on a leash, so you’re not wrong,” I smiled wryly. It was weird talking to someone outside of SHIELD. Things like calling Coulson my handler were second nature now. Even Greg hadn’t questioned why Coulson was called my handler, not my boss.

“So what’s the walking bicep’s superpower?”

Gareth’s question made me laugh. That was a very accurate description of Clint. He really was all arms. He’d been hitting the upper body workout routine extra hard lately too.

“Ever heard of the guy called Hawkeye?” I asked when my laughter died down enough to speak. Gareth nodded in confirmation. Clint and Natasha were both legends, even outside of SHIELD. “That’s him.”

“No shit?” if Gareth’s eyebrows went any higher, they’d disappear into his hair. “Wow, you’re keeping some impressive company these days. Who’s the blonde guy on crutches?”

“My brother, Jared,” I explained, furrowing my brow. “You would have met him before. He used to come to all the airshows”

No matter what he was doing, Jared never missed any of the airshows when I was doing demonstations. Even if I didn’t introduce him to anyone, you’d have to be blind to not notice we were related. He’d always stick around long enough to give me a hug and quick conversation afterwards.

“Ah, that explains the resemblance. I think I might have seen him a few times,” Gareth nodded. “Older or younger?”

“Older, by 25 minutes, my twin,” I smiled as I watched Gareth’s look of amazement at my answer. It only occurred to me that none of the guys from my old Squadron would know a thing about me. This was probably the longest conversation I’d had with someone from my old Squadron that didn’t involve anything to do with work.

Before he could ask anything else, the door banged open. The other pilots, Helix and Stringray came rushing in, Sharpe right behind them. The noise in the room climbed as thew new arrivals tried to talk over each other. The buzz of excitement filled the air straight away. It was a familiar feeling, sitting in this room waiting to get up in the air. There was always lots of people bouncing from the thrill about to come. Even if you were sore, exhausted or just not in the mood for it today, this atmosphere always pumped you up. Today was no exception.

I couldn’t stop bouncing my legs as we went through the pre-flight briefing. I had so much pent up energy, I felt like I could go and run a marathon and still have energy to spare. I should have been dead on my feet by now from lack of sleep. But I was wide awake and itching to get into the F-35. But I still had at least another 2 hours before I was going to get to touch it. The whole pre-flight, getting redressed and all the usual crap that came before a hop always took forever. For the actual hour I’d spend in the air, there was about 6 hours of pre and post flight work to do. I pitied to poor aircraft technicians over the next few days. For every hour in the air, most fighter jets would require at least 10-18 hours of maintenance. A lot of people would be working through the night to make sure we had to aircraft fully operational for tomorrow and Saturday.

I was the first person dressed and ready to go once our pre-flight brief was over. Agent Browning and Clint met me with a car to head out towards the flight lines. SHIELD’s F-35 was stored in a hanger away from prying eyes. Why SHIELD chose Langley Base to keep it was beyond me. While it was close to the Triskelion, Andrews was closer. Edwards Base had a much better facility for aircraft testing as well.

I didn’t have much time to ponder of the schematics of it all. SHIELD had its own way of doing things in ways I would never understand. We pulled up to the hanger which was being guarded by 2 fully armed SHIELD agents. No doubt there were other guards around the building as well. Clint had my badge and ID on him making the entire process of actually getting into the hanger fairly smooth.

The F-35 was one big bitch of an aircraft. It looked like it had eaten a F-22 and was sporting the mother of all food baby’s. It technically was only a few feet bigger than a Raptor, but it was so much chunkier. The F-35 was still a masterpiece of technology. I felt a little giddy as I ran my hands over the nose of it. This was so surreal. One of the new crazier things to happen in my life. If I lived to be old and grey I’d certainly have my share of cool Grandma stories to share.

“Come on, up you go,” Browning’s voice made me jump. “You’ve got to be in position in 45 minutes.”

45 minutes sounded like a long time. But the reality was we’d be squeezing a lot in. As I climbed up the ladder, my legs felt shaky. My the time I sat in the cockpit, my hands were shaking as well. Clint climbed up the ladder behind me, holding my helmet bag.

“Is that adrenaline or nerves?” Clint asked as I got myself settled.

“Both,” I half grinned. “I’m so excited I feel like I’m going to pee myself. But I’m nervous about fucking this up.”

“I’d pay good money to see you try and pee with all that gear on,” Clint grinned back, handing me the helmet bag. I took it, tucking it at my feet for the moment.

“Believe me, I can pee in a bag like a man when the need to go really strikes.” I began to strap myself in, my fingers moving more with muscle memory than actual thought. “It beats having to wear Depends.”

“Gross,” Clint wrinkled his nose in disgust. He watching my every movement, I was half expecting him to start asking what button did what. He wasn’t the only one eyeing off everything in the cockpit. I had to hand it to the SHIELD engineers. They’d done an amazing job with the jet. The rumoured heads up display in the helmet visor wasn’t ready yet. But the cockpit was state of the art. Gone were any traces of analogue dials. Everything was liquid crystal display, much like the F-22, but all my screens were now touch display. Instead of switches and toggles, all I had to do was press my finger on the screen. It was a dream come true. All I had to do was focus on flying and not worry about the usual multi tasking that came with flying.

Agent Browning was looking impatient on the ground, so I quickly stuck my radio earphones in, wincing as they crackled to life.

“Good luck.” Clint took the hint he was about to be told to move away. He clapped my shoulder with a huge smile. “You don’t need it.”

I could only smile in response. As soon as my earphones went in I was instantly in my pilot headspace. Nothing could distract me now. Yanking my helmet on, it muffled the world out even more. It was a laser focus now. All the nerves were gone. My entire body started to tremble in anticipation of what was about to come.

“Start her up Agent Lyngley,” Browning’s voice came over the radio. “Lets get this big mama in the air.”

It was a ridiculously simple start up. 3 switches, left to right and the jet roared to life underneath me. The smell of aviation gas hit my nose and went straight to my head, making me dizzy with excitement. I’d imagine it was like having a hit of cocaine, the instant high from it was incredible. It was one of my favourite smells in the world. I didn’t have time to sit here and enjoy the feeling of the power underneath me though. I had to run through pre-flight. It was such a simplified process with the new feedback from the advanced electronic systems. There no was room for pilot error. Everything was checked for me. I could seriously get used to this.

“She sounds beautiful,” Browning’s voice was so full of pride. I couldn’t help but to grin in response.

“She is beautiful, fat but beautiful.” I patted the control panel. “How does everything look from down there?”

The F-35 was automatically feeding everything back to a tablet in Browning’s hand. This one even had several GoPro’s mounted both on the inside and outside to record everything. There was no flipping off the other pilots if I got annoyed. If it wasn’t so classified I’d be getting the cockpit footage sent to me and sticking it on YouTube. The seat even had some way of recording my vitals as well. Right now I’m sure my heart rate would be through the roof. I clicked on my oxygen mask while I waited for the last few seconds of data to process. Everything looked 100% ready to go.

“Fantastic.” Browning gave me a thumbs up. “You ready to take her out?”

“Hell yes,” I responded, hitting the button to shut the canopy. In a few seconds the noise died down to a dull roar as the canopy slid forward and clicked shut. Ground crew appeared from nowhere, quickly pulling my wheel chocks out and rechecking for anything on the outside. It didn’t take long to get the thumbs up from them and the hanger door to be opened.

I took in a deep breath, squaring my shoulders. This was it. I grabbed the controls and gently eased on the throttle.

The F-35 glided from it's resting spot, the vibrations increasing underneath me at the tiny input of power. A few seconds later, I emerged into the sunlight. It was way too bright and hot under a glass canopy after being in the hanger for ages. I flicked on the climate control and reached up to flip my visor down.

“Smile for the GoPro Kari!” Clint’s voice came to life in my ear. I jumped, but instantly complied like the well trained monkey I could be. I smiled as much as I could behind my oxygen mask and flashed a quick thumbs up at the GoPro.

“Nice,” Clint’s voice sounded like he was grinning. “Thats one to frame.”

That was a big compliment coming from Clint. He’d be the first to tell me I look like an idiot and need to delete a photo. Jared and I were both bad for taking lots of photos. Thank goodness for iPhones.

It didn’t take long to get on my runway and into position. I was 10 minutes early for my takeoff time so I had nothing to do but sit and idly play with the controls. It always felt like you were a kid playing a computer game while you sat there playing with the control stick. The futuristic looking control panel in front really added to the surreal feel of it all. There was the usual chatter on the various radio channels. Air traffic control sounded busy, despite the slow air traffic around us. The guys in the Raptors were ahead of me, chatting over their designated radio channel. I nearly tuned out before a topic change caught my attention immediately.

“Is it just me, or did Knuckles get really hot all of a sudden?”

I perked up immediately at Gareth’s question. He must not have realised that I was tuned into their radio frequency. I wasn’t supposed to be, but I hadn’t had a chance to turn that channel off yet. This could be fun while I waited.

“Knuckles got really hot,” Helix confirmed with a chuckle. “And a little terrifying looking. Her thighs look like they could snap your neck.”

“What a way to go though, I could die a happy man with those legs wrapped around me,” Gareth chuckled as well.

I rolled my eyes in response. Typical guys, why did it always come back to sports or sex? Besides, Gareth was married, he shouldn't be checking me out. I couldn’t remember Helix or Stringray well enough to think if they were married or not. Most of the guys didn’t wear wedding rings either, so it was hard to tell.

“I wonder what your wife thinks about you wanting my legs wrapped around you?” I couldn’t hold it back any further. I had to cut into this conversation.

“Fuck.”

I could almost feel the embarrassment oozing from that one word from Gareth. There was silence for a very long few seconds, before the other 2 burst out laughing. A few insults were thrown at Gareth before the commotion died down enough for Gareth to explain himself.

“I didn’t realise you had this frequency on,” Gareth cleared his throat. “And I’m officially divorced now, as of last week actually. Excuse me while I go die of embarrassment now.”

“Nah, wait until you get in the air and I outfly you, then you can die of embarrassment,” I laughed, letting Gareth off the hook for now. Poor guy. I’d want to crawl into a hole and disappear if I’d said something like that as well. I didn’t want to rub salt in the wound about being divorced either.

“Yeah?” Gareth recovered quickly. “Knuckles, if you can catch me I’ll shout drinks for you all weekend. Whatever you want.”

“I hope your bank account is looking healthy Frogger.” It was on. I’d never pass up the opportunity for free drinks or to kick someone’s ass. “Because I have very expensive taste in scotch and I never back down from a fight.”

“Oh little girl you have no idea the world of pain you’re about to be in,” Gareth shot back. “You’re going down.”

“Sounds more like you’d love to be going down on me,” I grinned to myself at my clever and quick comeback. So much for letting him off the hook. If he wanted to keep throwing insults, I had no problem throwing them right back. Helix and Stingray both burst out laughing at my comeback.

“Fuck me, I can’t believe you heard that,” Gareth groaned. “And I didn’t say that, Helix did.”

“Don’t drag me into your mess Frogger,” Helix said quickly. “You’re the one who brought it up.”

“I’m sure thats not the only thing that got brought up at Frogger thinking of my legs wrapped around him,” I snickered. I was so smugly proud of myself. Usually I wasn’t this good at thinking of comebacks on the spot. Poor Gareth was subjected to another round of laughter from the other guys.

“You know I think I liked you better when you were quiet and didn’t say boo to anyone,” Gareth grumbled, though there was no malice in his tone.

“Yeah but then you didn’t think I was hot,” I teased. “Come on Frogger, secrets out now. You’ve been jerking off over me since Camp Cooke, haven't you?”

This was fun. I wasn’t beyond getting Gareth flustered before we took off. It’d make him more susceptible to making stupid mistakes in the air. Free scotch all weekend was going to be mine. Natasha would be so proud of what I was about to do.

“Oh god, do you even listen to the words coming out of your mouth?” Gareth groaned. There was a muffled bang come from his end of the microphone. It sounded like he was banging his head against the window. “What I jerk off to is none of your business.”

“It is because its me you’re doing it to?” I teased. My face was starting to hurt from grinning so much. “Or me and Natasha. Remember my sexy redhead friend? We aren’t above using each for sex. Only a woman knows how to please another woman. We keep saying we’re going to make a sex tape and sell it at work. I can always send you a copy.”

Helix and Stringray both sounded like they were about to die from lack of oxygen from laughing so hard. The banging from Gareth’s cockpit increased.

“Nope, not imagining that,” Gareth’s voice turned strained. “Fuck you Knuckles.”

“With or without Natasha?” I asked innocently. “Cuz I don’t mind either way.”

Luckily for Gareth, air traffic came over the radio, clearing the three Raptors to take off. The joking and teasing was quickly forgotten as the other pilots got their game faces on. Sitting 50 feet behind a F-22 tearing off down the runway was always a spine tingling experience. Today was no exception. Every hair on my body stood on end hearing and feeling everything through the F-35 cockpit as the Raptors took off. All of a sudden, it was my turn. Air traffic control crackled to life in my ear letting me know I was cleared for take off.

The F-35’s power kicked in even more as I upped the throttle. If I was a guy I’m sure I’d have a boner by now. I couldn’t even begin to describe the feeling of the power underneath me. I was so pumped and ready to go, I couldn’t stop bouncing in my seat. I released the brakes and hurtled down the runway. The g-force shoved me back into the seat as I climbed to speed. In a few seconds I was lifting off into the clear afternoon sky. The ground rapidly fell away quickly as I climbed into the air, the buildings and runways shrinking away to nothing as I climbed to 8000 feet.

The F-35 handled like a dream. It felt like I barely had to touch anything and the jet was already doing it. I couldn’t help myself, I rolled her a few times while climbing to altitude. The jet smoothly handled the manoeuvre at a higher speed than I should be doing so easily.

“Oh baby, you are one sweet ride,” I laughed as I straightened out. “I can’t wait to test you out.”

“I think you just made your handler sick,” Agent Browning’s voice came over the radio. He sounded very amused. “Keep it steady for a few minutes. There’s no need to push yourself.”

Fuck it. For once in my life I wasn’t going to be a good girl and listen. I was the last choice for doing this, so it's not like they were going to ground me if I misbehaved. I pulled back on the throttle, a little harder than necessary, watching the airspeed climb with ease. It was strange feeling g-force again. My body pushed against the seat and I fought against the feeling of wanting to slouch down as my body got heavier. I was going to be so sore by the time this flight was over.

Unfortunately my speed increase didn’t create any protests. I did hear Agent Browning grumble under his breath something about ‘fucking STRIKE Team Delta’ before he went silent over the radio. Feeling like a naughty teenager, I tested how manoeuvrable the F-35 really was. I flipped the jet over, enjoying the feeling of hanging by my harness and let the jet fall away from altitude for a few feet. Everything felt weightless for a few seconds before the forces of gravity kicked back in. I was grinning like an idiot as I rightened myself again. That was one of my favourite things to do, besides going as fast as I possibly could. Those few seconds of completely weightlessness just couldn’t be felt anywhere else.

I didn’t have any time to play with anything, I was right on the edge of our designated playground. Not that it mattered for needing extra time to get used to the different jet. It was so simple, I could have stuck Clint in here and he’d manage to fly it. Totally fucking magic.

The rules of this hop was very simple. It was a good old fashioned dog fight. Last man standing wins. The three Raptors again my F-35. I was going to fuck them all up by being the last woman standing. My ego would not let me lose today.

If the boys were smart, they’d have one of them hanging around somewhere in plain sight to draw me out. Radar was useless, as all our jets were stealth. So it was old fashioned eyes and gut instinct only. I banked hard to the left, keeping on the outskirts on where our ‘fight zone’ was designated. I made a circuit of the edges, pushing the F-35 faster than I should with such tight high speed turns. But it was so easy, and a little fun to be dancing on the edges of caution.

Like I predicated, I caught sight of one of the Raptors low at my 4 o’clock. He was just cruising along with no sense of urgency.

“Hello bait,” I murmured to myself. I did a bat turn to avoid being seen. There was a little bit of cloud cover, but not enough to really shield myself. If the bait was there, then the other two wouldn’t be far away. I could fly around and waste time, or I could do something bold.

Fuck it. Today was the day for being bold.

I turned hard again, hitting the throttle. It only took a few seconds to shoot past the bait Raptor.

“Come and get me,” I sang, grinning to myself. I craned my head around, very pleased to see whoever it was following me. Now, the question was, where were the other two?

My question got answered a second later as the other two Raptors shot past me coming from the opposite direction. One on either side.

“Hello there boys.” I glanced in my mirrors. I still had one behind me and the other two were making sweeping turns to come back in behind me. I slowed down a little, drawing the Raptor behind me in closer. Right before he had a chance to get any sort of missile lock on, I pulled up vertical. The F-35 responded instantly with a lot more speed than I intended. I shot away from the Raptor easily. My next move was ballsy, but it should go off easily.

“Come and get me.” I looked back again. My tail was still with me, but the other two had disappeared into the clouds. I let him get close again before doing a sharp four point roll. It was basically jerking the jet around at 90 degree intervals to confuse anyone behind you. I didn’t give him time to react or follow, I did a sharp loop, straight up and over, and ended up behind him. From there it was a simple flick of the switch and I had missile lock.

“Bingo,” I said smartly. Whoever it was instantly peeled away. I had their radio frequency turned off, but I’m sure there was a lot of swearing going on. I didn’t have time to ponder over it. If my concentration slipped, I’d lose. I banked hard to the left, searching for the other two jets.

I barely had time to draw a breath before they were both on me. I went on the defensive, spinning and twisting to make it impossible to get a missile lock on me. This is what I was good at. I wasn’t afraid of risky moves at high speed. I flew completely by the seat of my pants and made myself unpredictable. Maybe the movie Top Gun had rubbed off on me a bit too much when I was a kid. Not that I would ever, ever admit that out loud.

No matter what they did, neither of the two Raptors could get close to me. Any time one got close, I’d dart out of the way. It was fun to draw them in only to dance just out of reach again. Both of them were doing more and more aggressive manurers to try and throw me off balance. I was burning through a lot of gas with the speed I was doing and the strain I kept putting the jet under. I couldn’t play with my food forever. I was going to be Maverick in more ways than one today.

I hit the brakes and just before the jet stalled, I engaged the hover. Both the Raptors screamed past me at high speed.

“Oh nice move!” Agent Brownings voice came over the radio. I’d been concentrating so hard on flying I’d ignored everything except what I was doing. I grinned in response and re-engaged forward flight.

“Can I call you Maverick now?” Clint asked.

“Fuck off, I’m busy,” I said calmly. I’d punch him for that later though. If he started calling me Maverick, he was going to be Legolas for the rest of his life. Clint hated it enough that my ringtone for him was still ‘They’re taking the Hobbits to Isengard.’

Both the Raptors separated. I quickly banked following the one to the left. Whoever it was had been making a few tiny mistakes. Nothing that I could act on, but it was enough to show he was either getting tired or flustered. He should be the easier one of the pair to pick off quickly. I increased my speed through the turn, hoping to close the distance between us quicker.

The jet didn’t like the speed we were going at for the angle I was turning. I was too fast. The blood rushed from my head at the force I was putting on my body. I instantly backed off, sucking in a huge lungful of oxygen to get my head straight again. Oops. Rookie mistake. That could have been bad. I ignored the panicked calls of asking if I was all right over the radio and kept on the tail of the Raptor. Whoever it was kept me honest. It took every bit of concentration and skill I had to stick with him. But he finally made a mistake of slowing down for a brief second. It was enough for me to get a missile lock on.

I didn’t stay still long enough to gloat. The last Raptor was out there somewhere and had been hanging back on purpose. It seems someone really wanted a one on one fight with me. I had a pretty good feeling about who it was too.

“You’re all mine now Knuckles,” Gareth’s voice confirmed my suspicion. “You’re going down.”

I didn’t reply to his tormenting. I was too busy looking around trying to pin down where he was. If he was smart, he would have gotten behind me and stayed there. But if I remembered correctly, Frogger tended to be more like me. Fly by the seat of your pants and be unpredictable. So he could be anywhere. But his ego also got in the way of his brain sometimes, which made him prone to stupid mistakes.

“Come out, come out where ever you are little frog,” I opened up the radio channel, taunting my opponent. If I got under his skin enough he’d come out guns blazing.

“Where’s the fun in that?” the smirk in Gareth’s voice was clear.

A glint below me at my 2 o’clock caught my eye. It was hard to see in the clouds and where it was positioned, but it was a safe guess it was Gareth. Cheeky little shit hanging just below my wings. I was right, he could have had a clear shot at any time. But he just wanted to play with me first.

“Oh Frogger, I can taste that scotch already.” I didn’t hesitate. I went straight for him. He shot off ahead of me, pulling a complicated zig zag pattern that was impossible to get a lock on while you were doing it. But I wasn’t deterred. I followed him, sticking as close as I possibly could. His movements were meant to look like he was getting desperate. But I knew better. He wanted to draw me in, let me get cocky and make a mistake. So I followed, hanging back enough that I knew it’d piss him off. It only took a minute for his irrational to show.

“I thought you had bigger balls than that Knuckles,” Gareth’s teased. “Can’t you handle that big jet enough to catch me?”

Before I could respond, Gareth suddenly shot downwards, pulling his Raptor around in a defensive spiral. I grinned, following him a second later. This was about to become the ultimate game of chicken. In a downward defensive spiral, the idea was to stay out of the attackers way long enough to avoid getting shot down. At the last second, you would pull up and hope your attacker would hit the hard deck. It was risky, because you lost a lot of power and momentum in a downward spiral and if your attacker anticipated your last second move, you’d be the one to be shot down.

Most guys would pull away to their non dominant side. Which meant 99% of people would go left. However, Gareth was left handed, so it was likely he’d pull away to the right. With his cockiness, he’d do it at the very last second too.

Well, I hoped. I could also end up putting the F-35 into the ground in a fiery explosion. If that happened I’m sure Coulson would have a way of finding my ghost and punishing me.

I felt my stomach flip over several times as we both shot downwards. My body was starting to complain about the strain I was putting it under. I could feel the sweat pouring off me, despite the climate control blasting freezing air over me. My legs and abs were screaming at me for the constant tension I’d kept through my body. My left foot was going numb and my right arm had pins and needles in it from gripping the control stick too hard. Another rookie mistake I was doing.

“Come on, come on,” I murmured, pushing the F-35 as hard as I dared. The altitude was falling away quicker and quicker the closer to the ground we got. We hit 150 feet and I was still with him. Gareth’s nerves must have failed him at 100ft, he veered to the right. Just as I predicted. I went straight with him, setting myself up for the perfect shot. Half a second later, I had missile lock.

“Say my name bitch,” I laughed breathlessly. “You’re all mine.”

“Motherfuc…” Gareth turned his radio off before he could finish the curse.

I wouldn’t be able to wipe the smile off my face for the next month. Today had been a very good day. Today I was the baddest motherfucker around and nothing could change ever change that. It was a very good feeling.


	50. Chapter 50

“That crowd is looking really big out there,” Clint said, glancing out between the cracks of the hanger door. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine,” I shrugged feeling completely nonchalant about everything going on around me. It wasn’t nerves, but excitement now. It was finally happening. I was about to be the first person to demonstrate a working F-35. So many pilots would happily kill me for this opportunity. I was going to go down in the history books. Well, kind of. SHIELD wouldn’t release my full name in the public for security reasons. But I’d never forget this day. I sat in the cockpit, enjoying the quiet before the storm. It wasn’t long before I’d be ready to go out.

The last few days of practice had flown by. I’d been so busy I barely had time to eat and at night I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. As exhausted as I was, I hadn’t felt this alive since before Riley died. It was a nice feeling. I’d done a few more dog fights, all with the same result as the first. It felt so good to hone these skills I’d worked so hard to get. It was nice to see I still had the edge.

“Do you need anything before you go up?” Clint asked. He was being so helpful this morning. He’d been my shadow the second I stepped out of my room. He looked as excited as I felt about today. He’d been allowed to go up in a T-38 yesterday and loved every second of it. The feeling that came with being in a fighter jet could get very addictive. I wouldn’t be surprised if Clint didn’t start bugging me on how to pull off some fighter manoeuvres in the Quinjet when we got back.

“No, I’m good,” I smiled over at him. He’d perked up considerably after his flight yesterday. I just hoped whatever was going on between him and Laura was going to sort itself out soon. I hated seeing Clint moping around with a kicked puppy look. It was worse than a sulking Jared.

“I really, really wish this thing came in a double seater,” Clint grinned while looking over the cockpit. “Or that I was allowed to take it for a spin.”

“That would be like trusting your teenager with a Lamborghini,” I laughed. “Maybe when SHIELD has them in production you can have one then. Until then, you’ll just have to go green with jealousy while I get to fly it.”

“She’s such a beauty,” Clint sighed in appreciation, running his hands over the metal. “I can’t wait to see you pull some crazy pilot shit in the demo.”

“I can’t wait to do it,” I couldn’t help but grin. I had some intense things to show off for this demonstration. All of it was pushing the edge of my skill and the capabilities of the jet. So it’d be a good show for those on the ground. I had even more cameras set up than before all going back to screens on the ground. Thankfully there was no audio being played back so I didn’t have to watch my language.

“Do you trust Jared to pick you out something suitable for tonight?” Clint’s face turned serious. “I can go back with him to make sure you look gorgeous but appropriate.”

There would be a formal dinner tonight for the VIP guests. There was no getting out of it for me. At least I could start drinking once I was finished this afternoon. Gareth still owed me drinks for kicking his ass. It’d actually been several times now. He was a sucker for punishment that one. I planned on making him feel very broke before the weekend was finished.

“I trust him,” I chuckled again. “He does have rather impeccable taste in clothing. Will you do my make up though?”

“Of course,” Clint looked mildly offended that I even asked. “Gotta have you looking hot for Gareth.”

I rolled my eyes at Clint’s teasing. Gareth was being a big flirt when I wasn’t kicking his ass in training. In return I teased him mercilessly, swinging being flirting back and being a smartass. He never knew what he was going to get when I opened my mouth. It was a little bit flattering though. I hadn’t had anyone openly flirt with me like he was in a very long time. Whats more, I was actually enjoying flirting back. These last few days had given me a much needed boost in my ego.

“Kari?” Coulson’s voice crackled to life in my ear. “The doors will open in 5 minutes.”

“Copy that,” I nodded in the direction of the GoPro mounted in the cockpit.

“See you after,” Clint grinned, giving my shoulder a squeeze. “Knock em dead Knuckles.”

I waited for Clint to climb down before starting up the jet. I still got the same thrill as the first time I did it. This time there was no extensive pre-flight. The F-35 had already been started and checked about 5 times this morning. Now it was show time.

Everything was being done on ground signals for me until I was in the air. I’d have complete radio silence, so I’d brought along my iPod so I could listen to music while I did the routine. I would have never been allowed to do that while in the Air Force, but Coulson told me I could do whatever made my happy. So it was my strange mix of music from Limp Bizkit to Pink. Just as Rollin’ by Limp Bizkit started to blast into my ears, the hanger doors opened.

There was a huge crowd. Much bigger than I’d ever expected. It startled me for a moment before my brain kicked into gear. I was on a tight schedule. I eased the jet out into the morning light, doing a slow circle around the tarmac. It was nothing more than to show off the jet and give everyone on the ground a good look up close. As close as most of the people were ever going to get to it. The announcer would be talking about all the non classified features of the jet, but all I had was Limp Bizkit blasting in my ears. I made sure I wasn’t bopping along to the music as I went. There was a camera in the cockpit, even if there wasn’t audio. No one needed to see my dance moves.

As soon as I got back to the centre of the tarmac, facing the crowd, the ground crewman discreetly twirled a finger around. It was my signal to kick off the vertical takeoff. It was just like the Quinjet, except this was a touch of the screen instead of flicking a switch. The jet steadily climbed into the air a few seconds later with a little bit of input from me. I hovered to 50 foot off the ground, making a show of doing a full 360 degree turn at slow speed to get an impressive view of the jet in the air.

Crawling by Linkin Park came on as I increased the throttle. I grinned to myself, flipping down my visor. The song had near perfect timing. As the loud music blared, I tipped the nose up and went up vertical at full speed. My body forced back in the seat as I shot off, easily climbing to 500MPH and shooting in the morning air. As I hit 600 feet, I looped back over into level flight.

I wheeled back around so I was nearly over the top of the crowd. If everything was going to plan, everyone would be squinting up in the morning sun to see me. SHIELD had me doing a complicated move called Falling Leaf. It basically made the jet look like it was falling to the ground, like a leaf coming off a tree. I pulled my power back to the bare minimum I needed to keep the jet from stalling and rolled over. As soon as I was inverted, I gave the control for the tailerons a hard yank. The jet pitched sideways, almost spinning in the air. I let go just as quickly, making it look like the jet was really unstable and pitching sideways to the ground. I watched the altitude carefully and at 100ft, I levelled out. My heart was pounding from the excitement of teetering on the edge of no control.

I didn’t have time to enjoy the feeling. I pulled back up into the air, climbing into a high speed J turn. My head felt like it was going to fall off as I climbed into the tight turn at Mach 0.9. I was going faster than I was meant to. Story of my life really. But compared to the falling leaf, it wasn’t a hard manoeuvre to pull off. As I levelled out again, I went back closer to the ground, twisting and turning to show off the agility of the jet. I did a few backflips just to show off. It wasn’t a hard move to do in a Raptor. In the F-35, it was like doing a simple turn. I came back in front of the crowd, about 100 feet off the ground. I kept my eye on where I was in relation to everyone. Just as hit the sweet spot, about in the middle of everyone, I pulled the nose up hard, making the jet stand up vertically, looking like it was almost skidding across the air. I glanced down to the crowd and even from my height I could see them clapping. The Cobra manoeuvre was always a popular one.

Trouble by Pink started playing as I made a tight turn and headed away from the base. I needed the run up to do my last pass. I was a little disappointed it was over already. Even though I’d been flying for a good half an hour, it felt like seconds had passed. I’d barely heard my music playing because I was concentrating so hard. As soon as I hit Chesapeake Bay, I was turning again. I climbed back up to 400 feet and gave myself a few seconds to appreciate the opportunity I’d just been given. I don’t think I’d ever be back in the F-35. Even if SHIELD gave me the chance to fly one full-time, I wouldn’t give up Clint and Natasha. But it was still one of the biggest thrills I was ever going to have in my life. It was going to take something pretty big to top this feeling.

I pulled back on the throttle, watching my airspeed carefully. It climbed easily and I kept it just below the speed of sound as I came back over the base. As soon as I had the crowd in sight, I pulled back the throttle some more. As I came over the crowd, I broke the sound barrier. I could feel the sonic boom for it right down in my bones. It should have been a spectacular sight from the outside. The high humidity of today should have made an impressive cone around me as I smashed through the sound barrier.

I climbed back to a higher altitude so I could come back and land. As soon as I was in position, I engaged the hover. The jet steadily descended back down into the same spot where I’d taken off. With a gentle thump, I touched down.

It took all of my self control not to do a victory dance. I was so pumped. I’d nailed the routine perfectly. I could hear the applause over my music and through the canopy. This was the boring part. I was still shaking from excitement and adrenaline and sitting here while the announcer went through the last of the speech wasn’t fun. It was hot out here on the tarmac. Even with the protection of the canopy I could feel it blazing down. While the announcer droned on, I cranked the music and the climate control up so I didn’t bake or get bored to death. It took all of my self control not to fidget or start bopping along to Run DMC and Eminem.

It took another 15 minutes before I finally got the signal I could head back to the hanger. By the time I’d parked and shut down, there was a small group hanging around at the entrance. Whoever it was must have been important. Not even the MP’s were allowed in the hanger without express permission from SHIELD. I’d forgotten my badge and ID yesterday and had to run back to my room to get it before the SHIELD guards would let me in. The group were keeping everyone busy. So busy that I didn’t actually have a ladder to get down anywhere in sight. The 6 cups of coffee I’d slammed down this morning were starting to make me feel very uncomfortable now the adrenaline had worn off.

I sat in the cockpit, impatiently drumming my fingers against the sides waiting for someone to appear. But no one did. Whoever the group was in the hanger was keeping everyone occupied. After a few minutes I yanked one of my gloves off, putting my fingers to my mouth. If there’s one thing I could do well, it was whistle. Really, really loudly. The shrill sound echoed around the large hanger. It was loud enough to some people even covered their ears.

“I need a fucking ladder,” I called out, not caring if I offended anyone. I nearly added that I was sure no one wanted me to piss in the 1.2 billion dollar jet either, but I managed to keep some kind of manners.

My words had an instant effect on people. It didn't take long for one of the ground crew to bring the ladder over to me, mumbling apologies. I gave the young agent a glare that would have made Natasha proud. I was on a tight schedule today and having to basically get undressed to go to the toilet was going to chew into my little bit of free time considerably. Now I’d stopped I was ravenously hungry as well as desperate for the bathroom. My legs ached from the flying and sitting in the one cramped position for over an hour. My toes had gone numb and my feet weren't far off being numb either. It was always awkward to climb out of the cockpit, there was never anything graceful about it.

As I clambered out of the jet, Clint and Coulson both discreetly moved to me and managed to shuffle me out of the hanger with minimal fuss. The crowd hadn’t quite reached me, but I swore I caught a glance of Colonel Rhodes amongst them. It’d make sense he’d be here. I had no doubts he’d be at the VIP party tonight and I’m sure he’d corner me. I didn’t dwell on it for too long. Coulson had a car waiting for me, along with a still warm toasted sandwich and chicken salad.

“Where’s Jared?” I asked, shoving an overly large forkful of salad into my mouth as I settled into the backseat. “I need a bathroom, like 20 minutes ago as well.”

“He went back to get you clothes for tonight,” Coulson explained. He took off a little faster than normal in the car. He glanced at me in the rearview mirror with a genuine smile. “You did good today kid. There was lots of praise being thrown at you for it.”

I could only grin in response, my mouth was too full of food to respond properly. Thanks to Coulson’s defensive driving skills, I was back at the Squadron compound in minutes. I abandoned my food in favour for sprinting for the toilet. It was an awkward sprint with my aching legs and extra flight gear. Anti g suits were not made to run in. In fact it tightened around my legs, making it an awkward stumble into the building. I had to get nearly completely undressed to use the toilet and it took an agonising amount of time to get all the gear back on again.

By the time I was finished in the bathroom and dressed again, I only had enough time to finish eating and get back to the hanger. No doubt Coulson was still waiting outside for me. Or he’d gone to get me more coffee. More coffee would be really good. I was still pondering over coffee when I walked out of the bathroom and straight into a hard body.

“Fuck.” It was Gareth. His face was drawn in an angry scowl, which immediately softened when he looked at me. “Sorry Kari.”

“Its fine,” I said quickly. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah, I’m…” Gareth trailed off with a frustrated sigh. “No, I’m angry actually. My ex is being a bitch. I don’t even know why I bother to try and be polite anymore.”

“Ouch,” I winced in sympathy.

“Yeah, the guy who replaced you is fucking her now,” Gareth raged on, looking more and more pissed off with every passing second. “She told me not to bring anyone tonight because it’d be embarrassing and awkward for her.”

Double ouch. What a fucking bitch. Those exact words nearly fell out of my mouth but I managed to keep them from tumbling out. I hadn’t asked Gareth about his divorce and I didn’t really want to know the details either. But it sounded messy.

“You know this just means you’re going to have to find someone to hook up with tonight, don't you?” I was so bad at relationship advice. But I knew how to get under people’s skin, mostly thanks to Natasha. The talking my way around things was definitely thanks to Clint. “Make a big deal of flirting and being all over her. Then your ex can’t accuse you of bringing anyone.”

Gareth’s face turned from stormy looking to thoughtful and relaxed into a smile all within the space of about 2 seconds.

“Clever,” Gareth said with a nod. An almost shy smile crept onto his face. “Wanna make it even easier and you be the one I flirt with?”

“I will make sure I look smoking hot,” I grinned at him. That certainly would make life easier. Besides, it’s not like we hadn’t been flirting constantly over the last few days. “Not that I need much help in that.”

“Oh god, here we go with you running off your big mouth and ego,” Gareth rolled his eyes playfully. The shy smile was gone and was replaced by the exasperated look on his face. It seemed to be permanently stuck there when he was talking to me. He glanced down at his watch and winced a little. “I have to get dressed, I’ll see you up there.”

“I look forward to kicking your ass again,” I said smartly before turning away. Before I could get more than a step away, Gareth grabbed my hand.

“Thanks,” Gareth smiled at me. “I really appreciate it.”

Gareth’s thumb casually ran over my knuckles, sending a small shiver through my body. It was the first human contact I’d had since Riley, besides my family or close friends. It was odd, but thrilling at the same time. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to break his fingers or have him touch me more. Touching me more was starting to win the longer he held onto my hand.

“You’re welcome,” I smiled back. There was an awkward pause where we both stared at each other, not sure what to do. I cleared my throat and inclined my head towards the door. “I have to go.”

“Sorry,” Gareth looked embarrassed as he quickly dropped my hand. “See you soon.”

I didn’t have time to ponder over what just happened. I was about to be late if I didn’t get myself moving. As I headed out of the building, Clint was climbing out of the car. No doubt being sent in to check on where I was. I got back into the car and shoved the rest of food in my mouth, ignoring the curious glances I was getting.

The rest of the day went by quickly. The dog fight portion of the exhibition was over quicker than it should have been. Gareth’s head was not in the game today. I had him in 30 seconds flat. Stingray and Helix weren’t too long after him. We were meant to have an hour in the air, but it was all done within 25 minutes. It gave me an entire hour and a half spare extra to get ready after I’d gone through debrief. I made good use of it by spending an extra long time in the shower. The room we’d been provided were the newer ones with a small ensuite attached. It’d been a blessing to have some privacy. The hot water felt like heaven on my sore muscles. Now all the excitement was over, I could have easily fallen asleep in the shower. I may have been dozing when a knock on the bathroom startled me.

“It's only me,” Jared’s voice carried through the door. “Did you see what I got you to wear tonight?”

I smiled at the excitement in Jared’s voice. I hadn’t peeked in the garment bag yet. But he had brought me the glitter Jimmy Choo pumps I’d brought Natasha for Christmas last year. The dress choice should be very interesting.

“I’m still working on the whole not smelling like aviation gas and sweaty nylon,” I called back. The water was starting to become luke warm instead of hot. “Thanks for getting it.”

Jared had been in a surprisingly good mood the entire time we’d been here. He helped when he could and stayed out of the way where he couldn’t. I also had a feeling he’d found someone to hook up with. His room was right next to mine and I heard some very distinctly female giggles coming from there early this morning. Clint was on the other side of me, so it wasn’t him. No doubt that had helped his continuing good mood.

“Hurry up, I want to see what you think,” Jared’s excitement became contagious. I turned the shower off and pulled my robe on, limping a little as I walked back into the bedroom. My injured leg really wasn’t feeling the best after some seriously long flights over the last few days.

Jared was sitting on my bed with his busted ankle resting on a pillow. He was practically vibrating as I walked over to the garment bag, slowly unzipping it. I blinked at the very bright red dress staring back at me. I certainly didn’t own anything like that. It was more of a Natasha type dress than me. I definitely didn’t own a Prada cocktail dress either. My expensive taste usually stayed limited to my shoes. But it was gorgeous. Simple halter neck, knee length but it looked like it would hug me in all the right places. Jared had done very, very well.

“It’s stunning,” I felt a little breathless as I reached out to touch the potentially very expensive dress. I thought better of it and turned to face Jared instead. “Is it Tasha’s?”

“No, I went to the SHIELD clothing department and borrowed it for the night,” Jared’s grin lit up his entire face. He looked very pleased with himself. “So make sure Gareth doesn’t tear it off you, otherwise I’ll be paying for it for the next year.”

“I don’t think Gareth would have Riley’s strength to actually rip clothes off,” the words came out of my mouth before I could stop them. The disgusted look on Jared’s face was well worth the slip of the tongue. I bit my lip to hide my triumphant grin. Apparently I could still disgust my brother. I’d also said Riley’s name without tearing up or getting a lump in my throat. Before I could dwell on that last thought much further, Jared started speaking.

“I really didn’t need to know that. I’m going to have a shower and get dressed, possibly bleach my brain while I’m at it.” Jared carefully got to his feet. He must have overdone it today, as he was keeping his injured ankle in the air. “I’ll come harass you when its time to go.”

“See you soon.” I needed to dry my hair and wrangle it into something reasonable for tonight. It’d been in a tight braid, mostly thanks to Clint’s superior braiding skills, the last few days. Right now it was a very messy pile of frizz. I sighed at my reflection in the mirror and got to work. This was going to take a while. I scrunched up my nose at my reflection before turning around and digging out my iPod. This hair taming session needed some girl power music. I put on the girl power playlist that had appeared on my iPod one day, and got to work. Once Pink was blasting as loudly as it could, I got to work.

I nearly had my hair back to some semblance of normalcy when my phone interrupted me. The message was from Greg.

_How did today go?_

I smiled at the phone screen. He’d been so talkative over the last few days. I felt a little bad that I didn’t have the time or energy to have a proper conversation with him. At least we could have a proper catch on Tuesday.

_I was so awesome. I’m just getting ready for the VIP dinner tonight._

Greg’s reply came back within seconds. He must have been bored at work, or not at work.

_That sounds like it could be fun with free booze? I’m getting ready for a bucks party. Guess where we’re going?_

The end of the text had the eye roll emoticon with it. I grinned, tapping out my reply quickly.

_Not a fan of strip clubs? But I do get free booze. I plan on deeply regretting that in the morning._

I never got the appeal of going to a strip club. It seemed like you just went there to get turned on and frustrated. If you were that desperate for a pretty woman to pay you attention, it’d almost be cheaper to get a high end escort. I’d heard plenty of locker room stories about guys blowing nearly their entire pay on strippers. Greg really didn’t come across as a party animal either.

A knock on the door made me drag my eyes away from the phone while I was waiting for a reply. Clint poked his head in the door without waiting for me to answer.

“Ready to look amazing for tonight?”

“I already look amazing,” I said smugly. “You just make me look even more amazing.”

“Is there room in here for me and your ego?” Clint laughed at my reply. “Get your skinny ass into the bathroom and lets get started. This will take me a while.”

The hour it took was well worth the effort. Clint gave me a very vintage 40’s make up look that just fitted the dress so well. I could barely believed the reflection staring back at me. I even felt confident enough to snap a picture and send it through to Greg. I wouldn’t know his reply until much later though. There was no room in the purse for my phone, only my lipstick. I’d have to wait until I got back to see Greg’s opinion of how I looked.

The VIP function was being held at the Officers Mess. It was within walking distance, but we took a car. As comfortable as my shoes were, walking any great distance in 4 inch heels could get painful. Thanks to Jared being crippled still, we got a park right by the door. I smoothed the dress over, pulling down the hem as we walked to the door. I felt a little weird walking into the mess in a dress like this. Every time we had a dining in night or formal function in the Air Force, I was in uniform. It was quickly stopped by Clint smacking my hands away. He didn’t even have to say it, I could tell by the glare levelled at me I needed to stop playing with it.

As soon as I walked in the door, I was taken back by how many people were actually at the function. The front room was fairly packed with people milling around, both in uniform and civilian clothing. I made a beeline for the bar. I needed a scotch so badly after such a big couple of days. I only made it 7 steps before I was stopped by a Navy Captain wanting to congratulate me. The congratulations quickly turned into a mostly one sided conversation with me smiling and nodding in the appropriate places. Once he was finished I turned, only to be accosted by some big wig from Lockheed Martin gushing over my flying.

This went on for what felt like forever. Every time I thought I was finished with someone, there was always a new person to take their place. No one even had the common decency to buy me a drink before talking my ear off. If it was young, attractive men I don’t think I would have minded as much. But the middle aged CEO or Officer who hadn’t seen the inside of a gym for a decade really didn’t appeal to me. Their ogling was starting to get old very quickly as well. As gorgeous as the dress was, I think I needed a longer hemline than mid thigh. I was in the middle of a very boring conversation with a Marine and 2 other people who I’d forgotten as soon as they introduced themselves. A throat being cleared behind me got my attention quickly though.

“Excuse me, may I steal Agent Lyngley away for a second?”

I turned to come face to face with James Rhodes.. I had never been so glad for the interruption. I’d zoned out so much from the current conversation, I really had no idea what we were talking about. Rhodey was even holding a bottle of beer out to me.

“Thanks,” I said gratefully, taking the offered bottle. The men who I’d been talking to politely excused themselves.

“So this is why I never got your call?” Rhodey asked with a small smile. “SHIELD had you pegged for their own F-35 program all along?”

“Not even close,” I chuckled briefly. “I was their last option. I only found out on the flight here a few days ago that I got to do this.”

“Really?” Rhodey looked surprised. He recovered quickly, his face smoothing back into one of polite reserve. “If you were their last choice, I’d hate to see how good the first choice was.”

“I’ll be sure to let Agent Browning know you said that,” I smiled at the slightly backhanded compliment. Browning had flown just about every modern fighter jet out there. I don’t think I’d stand a chance against his skills as a pilot.

“Then again, I did hear through the grapevine you spent some time in hospital lately,” Rhodey said smoothly. I forced back an irritable sigh. Of course he did. Pepper and I kept in touch on a very regular basis, either via text or email. The gift basket she sent me had been a god send. From the chocolates to the luxury hand cream, I’d used all of it. I don’t know where she’d gotten the bathrobe from, but I’d never had anything so soft and fluffy.

“And what did you hear?” I smiled innocently while taking another sip of beer. I could play the dumb blonde card very well when I wanted to.

“That there was a little mishap in Pripyat which got the school blown up,” Rhodey looked rather amused. “Word was, SHIELD was involved with it and something to do an ex KGB assassin.”

“I’m just a lowly STRIKE operator,” I shrugged. “I wouldn’t know these things. That’s above my pay grade.”  “And this is where I call bullshit,” Rhodey laughed, his face breaking into an easy smile. “I know your STRIKE Team Delta. There’s nothing lowly about that unit. Did I happen to catch sight of the legendary Hawkeye mingle around before?”

Nice change of topic there Rhodes. It hadn’t taken him long at all to figure out he wouldn’t get any information out of me.

“That’s him. No doubt he’s at the bar knocking back the most expensive scotch he can find.” I found myself smiling back, just as easy. “He’s just being a bad wingman and not getting me one.”

“And leaving you with the boring old CEO’s and brass,” Rhodey laughed again. “I never would have guessed scotch. I figured beer was the safest choice.”

“I appreciate anything alcoholic tonight to be honest,” I laughed with him. “Its been a long couple of days.”

“Well, if its any consolation, you pulled it off very well,” Rhodey raised his beer to mine. “Very nice demonstration. You made it look like you’ve been practicing for months. You sure I can’t persuade you to come back to the Air Force?”

The smile on my face faded at the question. It was something I’d be wrestling with myself over the last few days. This had been incredible. I’d chew my own arm off to have an opportunity like this again. But I also knew the reality of being a fighter pilot. I could easily remember weeks where I’d be sitting around doing absolutely nothing because there wasn’t spare flying hours for me. For a 5 minute thrill, there was also a lot of waiting around. I’d made my decision the week after Riley’s funeral. The only way I’d be leaving SHIELD now is probably the same way as him.

“I can see the answer already, I guess there’s no substitute for being STRIKE Team Delta,” Rhodey smiled at me looking very understanding. “Come on, lets get you that scotch. You look very nice by the way.”

“Thank you.” There wasn’t anything else much to say. With Rhodey by my side no one else disturbed me on the way to the bar. I was even able to snag a handful of canapé’s that were starting to make their way around. The scotch Rhodey ordered for me was gone in one long swallow, much to the amusement of the Colonel. Th second one I nursed a little longer. These heels were way too tall to be getting messy drunk in. After a few more minutes with Rhodey, I was caught sight of Gareth sitting on the opposite side of the bar. He was knocking back a drink, scowling heavily. I guess it was time to intervene.

“Now its time for me to go and be a good wingman,” I smiled apologetically, motioning my head towards Gareth. “I promised Captain Hughes something earlier. It was good to see you again.”

“Likewise,” Rhodey said, holding his hand out so we could shake. “Are you heading up for the opening of the Stark Expo next weekend?”

“Not that I know of.” I took Rhodey’s hand and shook it. I couldn’t think of anything more boring than going and seeing Tony Stark’s overblown ego on display for the world.

“Then I’ll see you next time we run into each other,” Rhodey’s handshake was a firm grip. There was none of the limp wrist bullshit that men often did when they chose to shake my hand. I smiled once more and then left to go and save Gareth from his foul mood. Gareth was still moodily staring across the room when I sidled up to him.

“Hey there pilot,” I said with what I hoped to be a seductive purr. I slipped my arm around his waist and planted a kiss on his cheek. “I thought I’d come over here and cheer you up.”

Gareth looked at me like he didn’t recognise me. I thought he was going to push me away, but he did a double take. His mouth fell open as a look of shock plastered over his face.

“Kari?”

“No, the other hot blonde you know and offered to be your pretend girlfriend tonight,” I snickered. His surprise was a big ego boost. The way he was currently looking me up and down made me feel very attractive. The effort Clint put into my make up was well worth the sitting still for an hour.

“You look fucking amazing,” Gareth’s chuckle was breathless as his eyes finally came back up to my face. “Wow, a dress and everything.”

“It may come as a surprise to you, but I am a girl,” I said dryly, taking a sip of scotch. I was still smiling though. “And I do know how to dress like one.”

“Yeah but I’ve never seen you look like a girl,” Gareth chuckled again. “God, I’m speechless at how good you look.”

“That was the idea,” I grinned at him. “Come on, I’m starving. Lets chase the canapés around.”

We didn’t get far, without Rhodey protecting me, we were both accosted by more people wanting to talk to both of me. Gareth managed to stave of some of the insanity and he was much better at excusing us before the conversations got too boring. Clint and Coulson both came over at random intervals, but as the night wore on Clint’s visits became scarcer. Jared had found himself a table and had a gaggle of women surrounding him for most of the night. He definitely didn’t need me cramping his style, so I kept my distance. Coulson introduced me to the Air Force liaison he’d been dealing with over the last few days. She was an attractive brunette around Coulson’s age. Gareth knew her quite well, so there was a good period of fun banter between our little group before we separated. As the night wore on, us pilots congregated together and the usual stories started to come out. I even had plenty to add to the mix. The boring part of the evening was soon forgotten as we drank and laughed our way through the hours.

It was nearly 1am by the time I was done. My feet were killing me. I was pretty tipsy from all the scotch Gareth kept handing me. He’d stuck by my side the entire night. Any time he ex wife was in sight, he slip his arm around my waist and pull me in close. The more drinks we had, the more handsy he’d been getting. I wasn’t being entirely innocent either. I wasn’t shy about slipping my pant in the pocket of his pants and grabbing his ass. I’d made a good show of brushing up against him in a very obvious way.

“I’m done,” I announced after I finished my glass of scotch. I don’t know what brand it was, but it had been a very nice drop. “And I think my ride is gone.”

I hadn’t seen Coulson, Clint or Jared for a few hours now. I was drunk enough not to care about the half a mile walk back to the accomodation block.

“Yeah I’m done too,” Gareth smiled as he put his empty glass down. “Since I live one floor above where you’re staying, I’ll walk you back.”

That was a surprise. But typical of me not to realise something like that. It’d make sense he was living on base. It wasn’t a cheap area to live in and single apartments could be really hard to find. I’d been lucky to have my crappy little one bedroom apartment when I lived here.

“Lead the way Captain,” I gave a flirty smile.

We stopped outside so I could take Natasha’s shoes off. It’d rained sometime during the evening and there was no way I was getting them dirty. To his credit, Gareth didn’t laugh or mock me. He held his hand out to take the shoes off me. As we walked along, his free hand slipped into mine. The conversation was casual, mostly Gareth asking about everything I’d been doing at SHIELD. By the time we got to the accomodation block, I felt a little flutter of nerves kicking in.

Gareth hadn’t been shy about flirting over the last few days. Tonight, though mostly staged, he’d barely taken his hands off me The times I purposely brushed up against him, I could feel a definite reaction in his pants. There’d been more than a handful of times where he’d let me go and walked around with his hands in his pockets. If I was ever going to jump back on the horse, now was my perfect opportunity. This would be no strings attached, no feelings involved. Just a nice casual and hopefully half decent fuck. I used to do this all the time. Why should now be any different?

I was also a sucker for a man in uniform. It may just be the scotch talking, but Gareth looked really hot in his formal uniform.

“So I have your promised bottle of scotch in my room,” Gareth looked nervous as we got to my door. “If you still want it.”

“Of course I still want it,” I said smartly. I didn’t miss the double meaning behind his words either. Mine probably could be taken the exact same way. Judging by the look on Gareth’s face, he definitely took it the dirty way. Fuck it, I’d give myself until we walked up the stairs to make a decision.

The walk up the stairs took a lot more coordination than I had after a night of drink. With a tight dress, there was a few giggles as I got up the long flight of stairs. Then I was at Gareth’s door. I still had no idea what to do. After unlocking the door, Gareth stood there, hesitating as he turned towards me.

“So, am I bringing it out to you, or are you coming in?”


	51. Chapter 51

“Earth to Kari?”

“Hmm?” I turned my attention back to the voice that had just spoken. The face of Peggy Carter hovering in my eye line snapped my attention back to the conversation. “Shit, sorry.”

It was Tuesday morning. I had the next few days off after such a big week and weekend being at Langley. I’d planned on sleeping through most of it and going to the gym but two phone calls forced me out of bed, and the house. The first was from Evans asking if I watch Alexi for a few hours. William had doctors appointments to go to and it was a lot easier without Alexi. She hadn’t taken a liking to her new brother at all since he’d come home last week. It’d resulted in a lot of tantrums, screaming and lack of sleeping from Alexi. Evans and Abby both looked more exhausted than normal. Clint and Jared were planning on assembling Lila’s new bedroom furniture from Ikea. So I dropped him off with a solemn good luck. I doubted there’d be much assembling going on today though. More like Disney movies and cupcake baking. I promised I’d bring Alexi over later.

The second was Peggy Carter inviting me over for morning tea. She’d heard about the demonstration I’d done and wanted to see it. I’d gotten the video that was put together for it, so I packed up Alexi and I and headed over to the nursing home. She’d slept half the way, then talked my ear off for the rest of the trip. She was very excited to be doing something with me. She even took to Peggy with ease.

“Something on your mind?” Peggy asked kindly, handing my laptop back to me. I must have zoned out completely while Peggy was watching the footage. Alexi was wandering around the garden, ripping out flowers and bringing them back to us. Right now she was eyeing off the perfectly maintained tulips. I was waiting for her to climb over the small garden wall and start pulling them out too.

“Yes, I mean no,” I huffed out a small sigh. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to zone out.”

“How about you tell me whats on your mind then?” Peggy smiled at me. “You look like you’re a million miles away.”

It was more like I was back in Saturday night. I couldn’t stop replaying over and over in my head what had happened. The more I thought about it, the more I was kicking myself over what happened.

I’d turned Gareth down. I was all ready to say yes and at the last second, I chickened out completely. He’d been such a good sport about it too. He went inside, got my bottle of scotch and walked me back to my room. A kiss on the cheek and a quick goodbye, then he was gone. I’d found his number written on a card attached to my bottle of scotch in the morning. All it said was, ‘My number, if you’re ever down this way.’

I had a message sitting on my phone to reply to him, waiting to be sent. But I was too chicken to even do that. I was so frustrated with myself. I’d been all psyched up ready to get back into at least having a sex life. But I couldn’t do it. When it all came down to it, I still wasn’t ready to make that next step into moving on with my life.

“Its nothing really,” I cleared my throat, feeling a little uncomfortable. I’m sure Peggy Carter really didn’t want to hear about my sex life. Or lack of. “Sorry.”

“If you say sorry again, I may just smack you,” Peggy scoffed, arching an eyebrow at me. She looked so intimating when she did that. “Come on, spit it out. There isn’t anything you can say that will shock me. Let me guess, boy problem?”

“Kind of,” I said timidly. Suddenly everything started to tumble out of my mouth. There was no stopping my onslaught of verbal diarrhoea. “I was flirting with one of the other pilots on the weekend and when it came down to it, I turned him down for sex. Now I’m really regretting it but I’m being too chicken shit to rectify the problem. Then there’s this doctor I’ve been talking to and I thought we were just friends and he wasn’t interested and I got all these drunken texts on Saturday night which made me think otherwise and I have no idea what to do.”

I had to stop and catch my breath, my cheeks starting to burn in embarrassment. Wow, that had all come out in a big rush. Greg was my next problem. His reply to seeing me in the red dress was a few hours after I’d sent the picture, saying he’d like to peel me out of that dress. After that it’d been a progressively drunker texts saying how pretty he thought I was, even without the dress. That line of texts led to a lot of texts pondering how good I looked in lingerie and so forth. In the morning he’d apologised about a thousand times for his drunken ramblings. I even went as far to ring him and tell him it was fine. If anything, it’d been rather flattering.

But now I had no idea where I stood in Greg’s eyes. Tonight had the potential to get very awkward after those texts. But since then, our conversations had gone back to the normal stuff we talked about. I just had no fucking idea how to sort out this mess in my head.

“Ah,” Peggy nodded in understanding. She was silent for half a minute, rearranging the flowers Alexi had been bringing her while she thought of an answer. “Why didn’t you sleep with the pilot?”

I’d expected Peggy to brush it off and tell me some bullshit platitude that it was fine, I’d be ready in my own time. What I was feeling was perfectly natural and all that other shit.

“Because I got scared,” I shrugged, feeling a little helpless. “Scared that it wouldn’t be any good, or he wouldn’t like me without clothes on.”

I opened and closed my mouth a few times trying to get the rest of the words out. But they wouldn’t come. I was scared that Riley would disapprove. If he was looking down on me somewhere, he’d be angry that I moved on so quickly. It felt like a lifetime, but it had been 5 months now.

“And that Riley would disapprove?” Peggy didn’t need me to say those words, the haunted look of understanding on her face was enough. I could only nod, a lump suddenly in my throat. Peggy looked at me with a kind smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Kari, I felt exactly the same way after Steve died. That no matter what I did, or who I was with, he’d disapprove.”

Peggy reached over and took my hand, giving it a firm squeeze. The smile fell off at her as she looked at me intensely.

“But our boys aren’t here anymore. Nothing we say or do is going to bring them back. I’m pretty sure if Riley was up there disapproving, which he wouldn’t be by all accounts I’ve heard of him, that Steve would be smacking him over the head for his stupidity. I know Bucky would have been doing the same to Steve when it was me moving on with my life.”

I laughed at the mental image of Riley getting smacked over the head by Captain America himself. He’d probably swoon in his presence before Captain Rogers could hit him. It made me feel better nearly instantly. My laugh made Peggy smile, this time it was more genuine.

“You are allowed to move on with your life.” Peggy gave my hand another squeeze. “You are allowed to be happy. But only you know whats going to make you happy and what you’ll regret later on. Do you think you would have regretted sleeping with the pilot?”

“No,” I sighed, wrinkling my nose as I tried to think of how to put my jumbled thoughts into words. “Well, maybe if it was really awful I might have.”  That made Peggy laugh. It also gave me the courage to keep going with putting everything together.

“I wish there was some big signal that flashes when it's finally the right time to do something,” I fought back another sigh. “I’m so frustrated with myself. I feel fine, then I don’t. I want to move on, but then I chicken out at the last second. I hate how I can kick ass all weekend, feel awesome and brave. Then it falls apart in a second. I spend the next month second guessing myself, and I’m getting sick of it.”

“Then grow some balls and do it next time,” Peggy words were firm but laced with humour. “My darling, life isn’t going to wait to give you a sign. You have to get out there and just do it.”

Only Peggy Carter could tell me to grow some balls and have it come off as a pep talk. Then again, I hadn’t spoken to Natasha about this yet. I had no doubts she’d be telling me something very similar. Unless of course she and Clint had bets on whether I’d do it or not. She’d been very quiet over the last week.

“So be brave, you might have missed this opportunity but don’t miss the next one by always looking back,” Peggy continued. “Your doctor friend was probably just thinking what most men would. You’re an attractive young lady. He’s a man, he's going to have inappropriate thoughts about you whether he wants to or not. There’s no shame in it. Just continue as normal, there is no need to make it awkward because of a few drunk comments. If there’s something else there, then embrace it.”

Peggy was right. There was no denying it. She knew what I was going through better than anyone.

“Thank you, I needed that,” I smiled, feeling like a weight had been lifted off me. Things were getting easier. But sometimes I really needed that extra kick up the ass. It was less and less these days. Despite what happened, I’d really grown as a person since last year.

Alexi had perfect timing. She came back to us with a chubby handful of flowers and grass. At least she had left the tulips alone.

“For Peggy,” her smile was nothing short of angelic. Its hard to believe she’d been teary and screaming a few hours ago. I didn’t envy Abby or Evans. She was quite the handful and having a newborn on top of her would be enough to drive me to drink. I was dreading dropping her off later. I couldn’t deal with her tears and her begging me to stay. It ripped my heart out and stomped it in the dust every single time.

“Why thank you,” Peggy smiled back, taking the handful off her. Closer up, the flowers looked more like weeds. But it was very cute how she kept bringing them back to us, looking so pleased with herself. “Can I get a hug?”

Alexi grinned, holding her arms up to be picked up. Peggy reached down and pulled her into her lap. Like Grams, Peggy didn’t show her age at all. She still got around and acted like a much younger woman.

“You’re going to be a little heartbreaker when your older, aren't you?” Peggy bounced Alexi on her knee, making the toddler giggle uncontrollably.

“No,” Alexi shook her head, her dark mop of curls going in every direction. Her hair was so unruly at the moment. I should ask Abby if she wanted me to take her for a haircut before it got too out of control. I could really do with one as well, along with all of my once again neglected waxing.

“Your favourite word,” I said dryly, but smiled at her anyway. “Do you want a snack?”

“Cookies?” Alexi’s face brightened up even more. She swivelled around in Peggy’s lap to look at me. She kind of looked like Clint’s dogs when I asked if they wanted a treat. She had her head cocked to the side and everything. I buried my head into her bag trying to hold back my laughter. It was really cute though. Thankfully there was cookies there for her. It was definitely an Evans packed lunch. There was PB&J sandwich, cookies, potato chips and goldfish crackers. When Abby packed her lunch there was at least fruit added.

“Here’s your cookies, come sit here and eat them,” I asked, patting the bench next to me. Alexi obediently climbed out of Peggy’s lap and came and sat beside me. I handed her the ziplock bag full of chocolate chip cookies. I’m sure I’d regret her sugar high later on, but for now she was still quiet and happy.

“She’s adorable,” Peggy said, pushing Alexi’s curls behind her ears.

“Yeah until you put her in the same room with her new brother,” I chuckled. “I feel so bad for Evans and Abby at the moment. They aren’t getting a moment of peace.”

“She’ll get used to the little brother eventually,” Peggy chuckled with me. “Until then, you’re doing the best possible thing for them right now. I remember being so sleep deprived when Michael was born, I gave him a bottle full of coffee instead of milk. Thankfully Daniel noticed before he could drink too much.”

“I heard Dad did that a few times too,” my chuckled turned into laughter. I’d heard the stories of Dad when Jared and I were just born. Neither of us slept at the same time, so poor Mom and Dad were very sleep deprived for a few months until we settled down.

“Hazel and I banned Paul from going into work until you were both sleeping through the night,” Peggy’s face was full of humour, even if she did look lost in the memory. “That was an ordeal in itself.”

Except for family holidays, I could never remember Dad having any extended time away from work.

“This age is the easy part.” Peggy reached over giving Alexi’s curls a small tousle. Alexi grinned at her with a mouthful of cookies, making both of us laugh. “Wait until she’s a teenager and wanting to sneak out at night to go party.”

“Not if she’s anything like her boring god mother,” I pulled a face at Alexi, making her giggle. She’d finished her cookies, so I handed her the juice box and potato chips to keep her quiet. “I stayed at home and studied hard. I never snuck out to parties.”

Even if I had, I don’t think there would have been any sneaking out involved. Mom was the more encouraging parent on me going out and being social with people from school. If I’d wanted to go to a party, she probably would have brought me alcohol, dropped me off and made sure I had a good time.

“I’m sure Jared made up enough mischief for both of you,” Peggy’s eyes were twinkling with humour. “Not much has changed, has it?”

  
 “Nope,” I heaved an overly dramatic sigh, but couldn’t stop a smile creeping onto my face. “He’s still a pain in the ass.”

“So I heard,” Peggy’s expression turned serious once again. “How are you after your little incident in Pripyat?”

“Stiff, sore, constantly tired.” There was no point lying about that. It was a long and boring road to recovery. There were days where I barely had the energy to make it through the day. “But alive, which is always a good start. The rest will get better in time.”

The look of understanding on Peggy’s face was easy to read. She knew I wasn’t just talking about my physical health. But my mental health as well. The nightmares were starting to get fewer and further between. Most nights I could go back to sleep after having one without too much difficulty. That was about the only advantage of the constant nagging fatigue I still had. Greg had promised it’d go away eventually. I just had to be patient. After Laura saying the same thing, I was inclined to be patient for once in my life. With Tony Stark flitting around the world in his bid to be a one man private army, things had been unusually quiet on the global catastrophe front lately. So even if I was fit and fighting to go, I’d be like Bravo team and spending all my free time at the range doing nothing but waiting for somewhere to blow up.

“Alive is always preferable over dead,” Peggy said dryly, with a small shake of her head. “How’s Jared doing?”

“He’s….” I trailed off, not sure how to put Jared into words. He was very good about putting on a brave face. It hadn’t gone unnoticed by me that all the alcohol in the house, except for my scotch, had mysteriously vanished when we got home. I’d hear the TV on at all hours of the night but Jared was cheerful, almost annoyingly so. Whatever Clint said to him had worked, for the moment. It’d only been 3 days since we’d been home, so time would tell.

“Getting there as well,” I finished my sentence. “He has an appointment in New York for his ankle next week.”

Mom had somehow managed to get his case transferred to the Hospital for Special Surgery in New York. It was said to be one of the best orthopaedic hospitals in the country. It normally had waiting lists a few miles long, but Mom was very good at getting what she wanted. She wasn’t convinced the orthopaedic surgeon at the GW Hospital had done a good enough job. According to the people she’d spoken with, he should be at least weight bearing and doing physical therapy by now.

“That’ll make your Mom happy to have him home, even if its for a little while,” Peggy said.

“And I get the apartment all to myself for a few days.” As much as I loved my brother, I could do with a break from him once in a while. Being able to sit on the couch naked, eating ice cream and watching what I wanted to watch sounded like a very good break.

My phone buzzed loudly next to me, making me jump in surprise. It’d be surprisingly quiet all morning. I snatched it up, a little surprised to see the time. It was nearly 1500. No wonder Alexi was hungry. The message was from Greg.

_Because I’m anal like this, just checking we’re still good for tonight?_

I smiled down at my phone. As I went to reply to his message, my phone buzzed again. This time the message was from Evans.

_We are STILL waiting for the specialist. I’m so sorry Kari. Are you still good with Alexi for a few more hours? If you aren’t, ring one of the boys and they can come and get her. Her portable cot is in the trunk if you need it._

Yeah, wouldn’t that be a sight to see. Alexi was only fond of Sam who’d been banned from baby sitting duties. Apparently there had been an incident when she was younger that was never to be spoken of again and Sam was relieved of baby sitting duties forever. Evans had given me his car for the day for ease of car seat arrangements.

_She’s fine. How about I take her for the night? That way you don’t have to worry about what time you get home._

“Sorry,” I said to Peggy, feeling rude for being on my phone. “Evans is still waiting at the doctor. I think he’s feeling guilty for leaving Alexi with me again.”

“She seems perfectly content being with you,” Peggy smiled over at Alexi. She was still fiddling with her juice box and potato chips. No doubt the birds hanging around the garden would be getting a nice feed tonight. She had cookie crumbs and potato chips everywhere. “And I don’t see you complaining.”

“I only complain when we have potty accidents,” I screwed my face up in mild disgust. If Riley was somewhere looking down on me, no doubt he’d be rolling on the ground laughing at me dealing with Alexi’s potty accidents. I used to firmly refuse about diaper changes. Fortunately, Alexi’s early potty training was going extraordinarily well. Accidents were rare, and pull ups made life so much easier. I opened Greg’s message, nibbling on my lower lip as I debated what to say.

_We are still good, as long as you don’t mind Alexi hanging around? You’re welcome to come to my place and we’ll go out from there?_

“Kari?” Alexi got my attention my tugging on my shirt. I looked over at her in question. She held up her half finished packet of potato chips. “Share?”

“Thank you,” I smiled as I took a chip. “Do you want to ask Peggy if she wants one?”

Alexi jumped down from the bench and went straight to Peggy. As she asked her, Greg’s reply came back.

_Of course not. Are we allowed to fill the little devil child up with chocolate and ice cream before we hand her back? Whats your address?_

That made me laugh. Greg had met Alexi a few times while I was still on hospital. It had taken a few visits for Alexi to warm up to Greg. But his brownies won her over in the end. Peggy looked at me in question, so I showed her the reply.

“You can tell both of you are childless,” Peggy said dryly after she scanned my phone. “You’ll do that one day and it’ll backfire in a big way. It’s not nice when the karma fairy pisses in your cereal bowl. Just remember that.”

“I will keep that in mind,” I laughed, quickly tapping out a reply to Greg and Evans before putting my phone back beside me. The amount of time I spent texting Greg had made my typing skills a lot quicker. “Karma fairy pissing in the cereal bowl, I’ll have to remember that one. I like it. We should start heading off though. Ready to go Munchkin?”

Alexi nodded rapidly, holding her arms out to me. She looked tired enough that she should nap in the car. If I timed it right, she would nap enough to play with Lila and then be tired enough for an early bedtime. I picked her up, shifting her over onto my hip. She instantly rested her head against my body, sticking her thumb in her mouth.

“She’s done well to stay awake this long,” Peggy slowly climbed to her feet. “Thank you for the visit.”

“Thanks for the invite,” I smiled, resting my head against Alexi’s. “And the kick up the ass, again.”

“You’ll need them less and less as time wears on,” Peggy laughed lightly. “Don’t wait for my phone call next time. You’re welcome here any time.”

“I will drop in,” I promised. I still felt awkward about just randomly dropping in, but if Peggy insisted, I’d make sure I did it.

Peggy helped me cart all of Alexi’s gear back to the car and with a brief hug, we were gone. As I predicted, Alexi was asleep before I pulled out of the driveway. She slept the entire drive to Clint’s place and grumbled heavily when I took her out of the car seat.

“If you slept during the night, you wouldn’t be cranky and tired,” I chuckled as I lifted her up. “Trust me, I know these things. Want to see Lila?”

Alexi grumbled into my shirt, it vaguely sounded like a yes, but knowing Alexi it could have been anything. Juggling her bag, I managed to make it into the house without dropping her or her bag. The dogs greeted me at the door, bouncing up and down as I pushed my way through. A second later Lila came skidding down the hallway.

“Kari, Kari, Kari!” Lila bounced up and down. “Come see my room!”

“I’m coming,” I smiled while shaking my head at the excited kid. “Alexi, do you….”

I didn’t need to finish that sentence, Alexi was already wriggling to get down. Seeing Lila must flicked her on switch back on. Though they didn’t see each other much, Alexi was fascinated with Lila. It helped that Lila took her responsibility of being the older ‘Aunty’ very seriously. It was very cute seeing them together. Before I could ask Lila anything else, her and Alexi were already racing off towards the backyard with the dogs in tow. Lucky stopped beside me to get another pat before slowly following them. Poor Lucky, he didn’t seem to keen to head out into the muggy afternoon.

“Come on boy.” I took pity on him, scratching his ears. “I’ll let you stay inside. Where’s your Dad?”

A muffled thump and loud curse gave me a solid clue to Clint’s whereabouts. I headed up the stairs with Lucky trailing after me and went straight to Lila’s room. As I opened the door, I could see why Clint would be cursing.

There was bits of furniture everywhere. Amongst the wreckage was plastic, instructions, what looked to be cans of soda, cupcake wrappers and things I couldn’t identify. Jared and Clint were both sitting on the floor, arguing about where a certain piece went. Cooper was nowhere to be found, which wasn’t like him when it came to anything needing to be built.

“Wow,” I surveyed the carnage in front of me. “Laura is going to kill you boys.”

“Be quiet and help us put this together,” Clint picked up another piece of wood and waved it at me, his eyes never leaving the instructions. “Your smart. You should be able to decipher Ikea instructions.”

“Yeah I know,” I said with a smirk coming onto my face. “My IQ is higher than both of you combined.”

“Then sit your ass down and help,” Clint looked up from the instructions. The frustration clear on his face. “Seriously, why is this so fucking hard?”

“Because some idiot decided that buying his daughter a loft bed was a fantastic idea,” Jared grumbled, throwing his piece of paper down on the floor. “And how did I get roped into this?”

“Because I offered you free food,” Clint said smartly. “And you loved the cupcakes, so be quiet and help me finish.”

“Where’s Cooper?” I asked finally braving myself to step into the room. God it was a mess. Lila wasn’t the tidiest child, but this was a little crazy.

“I brought him a new Pokemon DS game,” Clint explained, handing me the instructions once I got within arms reach. “So I won’t be seeing him for a month.”

“Lila and Alexi went out the back with Lucy,” I said with a nod of understanding about Cooper. When he got something new, it took a lot to pry him away from it. Whether it be a new book, game or whatever the flavour of the month was. “Lucky begged me to stay in.”

Lucky was already asleep in the hallway. His ear twitched at the mention of his name, but he didn’t move. Poor boy. Lila must have really been running him ragged today.

“Poor fella,” Clint chuckled. “Are you staying for dinner?”

“No, she has a date,” Jared spoke up. “Another reason I came over for free food.”

“It’s not a date,” I said for the millionth time. “Just chilli dogs and beer. Besides, Alexi is staying over so it's not like anything would happen if it was a date. The next one of you who says its a date is going to find themselves in a shallow grave.”

Clint watched me with his trade mark shit eating grin growing on his face. I could hear exactly what he was thinking. The grin on Jared’s face wasn’t helping either. Scowling, I made a ball of ice and started to toss it from hand to hand.

“Don’t you fucking say it Barton.”

“It's so a date,” Clint sprung to his feet just as I launched myself at him. Ball of ice forgotten, I tackled him hard. We both crashed to the floor in a tangled of limbs. Luck was on my side as I landed on top.I swiftly pinned Clint to the floor and grabbed his left arm, forcing it into lock. For good measure, I dug my nails into his skin and iced my hand over letting the cold spread over his skin. The effect was instant, he let out the most undignified yelp and squirmed underneath me. Jared burst into hysterical laugher at our antics. I was quite proud of myself, sitting here perched on Clint’s ass. It was a good move on my part.

“Ok, ok, I take it back,” Clint said hastily. “Don’t freeze my arm off, I need that to shoot and jerk off.”

“Oh god you’re such a fucking teenager sometimes,” I groaned, instantly releasing his arm and scrambling off him. “Come on, lets put this bed together otherwise I’ll have Lila and Alexi sleeping over tonight.”

“Bully,” Clint rolled over, rubbing his shoulder. He scowled up at me. “What do you think we’ve been trying to do for the last 6 hours?”

So far there was some drawers assembled. I sighed heavily. This was going to take a lot more patience than I was currently feeling. What those two had been doing all day was anybodies guess.

With the three of us actually working on it, we at least got the bed assembled so Lila had somewhere to sleep tonight. The rest could be finished tomorrow. Alexi and Lila had spent most of the time outside, running around under the sprinkler and playing in the sandbox. They only came inside for a few minutes at a time. Jared had sat by the window and made sure they didn’t get into any mischief while outside. There were no crashes downstairs, so whatever they were doing when they came in had been quiet and hopefully mess free.

Clint came downstairs with me to help me get Alexi in the car. Despite his offer of taking her for a few hours so Greg and I could be alone, I wanted to take her with me. Their teasing about this being a date had begun to stick in my mind. I wasn't going to admit it, but I was starting to feel a little nervous. Alexi would be my safety buffer for the night.

“She’ll be fine Kari,” Clint was still trying to persuade me by the time we got to the kitchen. “I have spaghetti bolognese planned for dinner, chocolate cake for dessert. She’ll be asleep with Lila before…”

Clint trailed off, his eyes scanning the empty kitchen benches with a small frown.

“Where the fuck did the cake go?” Clint frowned even further as he picked up an empty plate. “I swear I left it out.”

“Check in the fridge?” I said with a shrug, making my way to the back door. Pulling it open, I recoiled at the blast of hot air. Yuck, this humidity could fuck off. I hated this time of summer. Lucy had enough common sense to run inside as soon as the door was open wide enough. “Alexi, time to go.”

“Coming!” Lila answered for both of them. They both had been in the sandbox, keeping out of the sun thanks to the tree shading it. Lila helped Alexi up, brushing the excess sand off her clothes before taking her hand and coming back inside. It wasn’t until they got close up, I could see something smeared over both their faces. It looked suspiciously like chocolate. Before I could ask them what was on their faces Clint hollered from inside.

“Lila Alianova Barton, get your ass in here right now!”

“Uh oh,” Alexi giggled, holding her arms out to be picked up. As disgusting as she was, I picked her up holding her as far away as possible from my body. “Busted.”

The look of guilt on Lila’s face told me more than words could. Looks like the girls helped themselves to the chocolate cake while we were upstairs. Alexi’s face and hands were covered in frosting, along with sand and dirt from playing outside. There was even a smear of frosting in her hair. Lila wasn’t much better. But she had at least washed her hands. The evidence was still all over her face.

“Busted all right,” I looked down at Lila trying to be stern. “Quick, inside before your Dad kicks your butt.”

“Ass,” Alexi corrected me with a giggle.

“Thats enough from you Miss Potty Mouth,” I forced myself not to giggle at her correction. Technically she wasn’t wrong. Clint did say ass, not butt.

“We didn’t mean it,” Lila pouted, her eyes already filling with tears. “It was an accident, I swear Kari.”

“Inside,” I said firmly. I couldn’t deal with it when Lila cried. She was setting herself up to be a world class actress with her ability to turn on the water works at the drop of a hat. Even if it was a fake cry, her crestfallen little face still made me feel like I was a terrible person.

The welling tears quickly spilt over and Lila started to cry before she made it inside. Her eyes darted to the side, as if she was looking for an escape. I quickly grabbed her arm before she could duck out of reach and gently pushed her inside. Clint was standing by the kitchen bench, arms crossed and had a hard expression on his face. All he had to do was point at the empty plate and Lila cried even harder.

“We just wanted a little piece,” Lila blubbered. The tears falling even harder now. She was sobbing and hiccuping at the same time. I could see a little indent appear in Clint’s cheek, like he was biting it to stop himself laughing. But he remained silent and stony on the outside. “I tried to make it a little piece and then we dropped it. So we ate it all because I couldn't put it back on the bench!”

“Yeah!” Alexi exclaimed loudly with a giggle. “Cake hit ground. Oh fuck.”

Clint cleared his throat, the indentation on his cheek looking more and more pronounced with every passing second. I coughed to cover the laughter wanting to burst from my chest.

“Language Alexi,” Clint managed to keep his voice even. “Otherwise you owe a dollar in the swear jar.”

“Aww fuck,” Alexi screwed her face up at Clint in disgust. I had to give it to Clint, he managed to keep a straight face when I was failing desperately at it. I resorted to digging my fingernails into my palm to try and distract myself. I knew I shouldn’t laugh. But Evans was right in that she at least swore in the right context.

“Yeah, thats another dollar,” Clint said firmly. I could see his adams apple bobbing up and down as he swallowed back his own laughter. “On second thought, you can keep the potty mouth for the night. Lila, you know the rules. Go get cleaned up and we’ll put another cake on for dessert. After that, no movies for the rest of the week. Understood? Go wash up.”

Lila’s tears stopped immediately as she nodded rapidly. She ducked out of the room quicker than I thought she was capable.

“You have to admit, its kind of funny,” I said once Lila was well out of earshot. “The cake fell down so we had to eat it all. It sounds like something you’d say.”

“It's exactly something I would say,” Clint groaned, rubbing his face looking tired. “I was really looking forward to that chocolate cake. All I have left is box mix and it isn’t the same.”

“No, it’s not,” I agreed with him. Clint made a really, really good chocolate cake. Box mix tasted like shit compared to his cake. “Anyway, I’ll head off so I’m not rushing to get her clean. Good luck with the rest of the bed.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Clint said dryly. He reached over and gave Alexi’s curls a gentle tug, causing her to giggle and grab at his fingers. “Good luck tonight. Have fun.”

I punched his arm for the sly wink he added. The hit was only hard enough to make Clint laugh at me. Alexi decided to copiy me, landing a glancing blow on his arm as well. Clint dropped the floor, grabbing his arm dramatically, groaning like he was in pain.

“Oh no, Lexi Luther has used her super powers and defeated the mighty Hawkeye,” Clint groaned dramatically, rolling around on the floor. Alexi laughed hysterically, clapping her hands at Clint’s antics. She wriggled out of my grip and launched herself at Clint. He caught her just before she could land on his body, holding her at arms length above him. “Ah HA! I have captured her. She’s all mine now! Feel the wrath of the incredible Hawkeye’s tickle powers!”

Alexi laughed even harder as Clint started to tickle her. Her laughter turned into hysterical shrieking pretty quickly thanks to her very ticklish sides. I stood there, laughing myself at the scene in front of me. Clint was so good with kids. Even I could admit the scene in front of me was adorable. Once Alexi was all tickled out, Clint picked her up so I could grab her bag and pack the car without a wriggling toddler to deal with. He was also heaps quicker at getting her strapped into the carseat. That thing felt like I needed an engineering degree to do up correctly. Then it took Alexi forever to say goodbye to Clint. She kept waving him back into the car for a cuddle, kiss or to babble something at him. It wasn’t until I pointedly said we had to go and got into the drivers seat, Clint stopped giving into her demands.

“You spoil her too,” Clint defended himself, waving goodbye to Alexi through the now closed window and locked door. “I’m only a phone call away if you need anything.”

“I know,” I resisted rolling my eyes at him. This time he sounded serious instead of just being a teasing asshole. “We’ll be fine. She stayed over at Riley’s place all the time. I’m sure I can manage anything she throws at me.”

“Drive safely then,” Clint smiled down at me. “And have fun on your not date.”

And the teasing was back. This time I did roll my eyes, winding up the window as I flipped him off. Clint only grinned at me in return, returning the gesture as I pulled out of his driveway.

As my luck would have it, I hit heavy traffic as soon as I pulled onto the main road. The congestion lasted all the way home, making it a slow crawl the entire way. Alexi stayed awake for the entire trip, keeping me amused with her broken sentences and babbling. She was fascinated with everything in the outside world. Her favourite thing was to point at something, you’d say what it was and she’d repeat it. Or attempt to at least. It was 1758 by the time I pulled into the garage. With any luck Greg would be running late as well. I had no idea where he lived, except it was in the DC area. Traffic at this time of the evening on any weekday was a nightmare in every direction.

I managed to get Alexi and all her stuff up to the apartment without dropping anything. On the trip up, she’d gone very quiet. Her head had fallen on my shoulder as we got into the apartment.

“Lets get you cleaned up,” I gave her a little bounce. “Then we’ll go get chilli dogs for dinner. How does that sound?”

Alexi shook her head, mumbling something I couldn’t understand into my shirt. I sighed quietly, resting my own head against hers. I really hoped she wasn’t going to start being difficult. She’d been such an angel all day. But she was prone to toddler meltdowns and I felt like there was one about to come on.

“Lets at least wash your face and hands?” I tried to negotiate. I sucked at this whole parenting thing.

“No,” Alexi grumped, pulling herself upright so we were looking at each other. She made a small whimper and shook her head. All of a sudden, she didn’t look too crash hot.

“What’s wrong baby girl?” I asked.

A knock on the door made me jump. Glancing at the clock, I surpassed my groan. Dammit, he was punctual. It was 1800 on the dot. The nerves from earlier came back in full force. Holy shit, what was I doing?

Nope. Fuck it, I wasn’t going to let myself answer that question. I was going to grow some balls and enjoy chilli dogs tonight. Greg had seen me at my worst while in hospital. He wasn’t going to care I was currently sweaty with my hair in a frizzy mess. Hell, he might even appreciate the short denim shorts I had on.

“Its open,” I called out, squashing the nerves down.

“Hello ladies,” Greg said as he opened the door. His own smile looked just as nervous as I was feeling a second ago. He wasn’t empty handed. He already had a bag from Ben’s and a 6 pack in the other hand. “I come bearing gifts of beer, apple juice and Ben’s Chilli Bowl.”

The next few seconds happened in slow motion. As Greg came in the door, Alexi went paler than before. Her mouth opened and I knew what was about to happen and was powerless to stop it. She projectile vomited all over the front of me, like she was the possessed child from the Exorcist. The never ending stream of chocolate cake, cookies and whatever else she’d eaten today went everywhere. I could only stand there with my eyes closed, feeling the vomit drip from what felt like every inch of my body and onto the floor.

“Oh,” Greg cleared his throat, sounding like he was trying not to laugh. “Shit.”

“Shit all right,” I scrunched my face up, willing myself not to vomit at the acidic smell wafting to my nose. “Umm?”

I had no idea what to do. Crying seemed like a good option but that wasn’t going to help me standing here covered in vomit.

“Hang on,” Greg didn’t sound flustered at all. A few seconds later, a towel of some sort was being pressed into my hands. The weight of Alexi lifted off my side and I managed to wipe my face off enough to open my eyes.

Greg was already heading to the bathroom with Alexi held at arms length and wrapped in a towel. Gagging at the smell wafting around me, I quickly followed them. I knew I was leaving a trail of vomit footprints, but right now I needed a shower and out of these clothes. I’d burn them if I had to.

“I am so sorry.” The reality of what just happened was starting to sink in pretty quickly. Mortified was probably too soft of a word about what I was starting to feel. “She kind of got into the chocolate cake and….”

“Kari, its fine,” Greg laughed, breaking the tension. He gently placed Alexi in the bathtub. “Have a shower, I’ll deal with the rest. You look like you’re about to be sick yourself.”

“I so don’t do vomit.” Despite his reassurance, I could feel a hot blush crawling up my neck. Just when I thought I was growing some balls, something like that had to happen. “I am so sorry.”  “She’s a kid, they get sick some times,” Greg shrugged. Unlike me, he looked completely calm about the situation. There was even a little amusement playing across his face. “Have a shower. Chocolate cake projectile vomit isn’t a good look on you.”

“Yeah, yuck,” Alexi piped up from the bath. She was completely wrapped up in Jared’s towel, grinning up at me.

“I’ll leave you ladies to it,” Greg laughed again, leaving the bathroom and closing the door behind him.

“Thanks Alexi, so smooth,” I couldn’t keep the grumble out of my voice as I looked down at her. She grinned in response, her sickness gone as quickly as it came on. I quickly stripped both us off, leaving the dirty clothes in the bath for now. I’d burn them later.

Alexi wasn’t happy with the shower. She squirmed while I tried to get her clean. Even to the point of a few fake tears when I tried to get the body wash and shampoo on her. It was a big shower, so I felt like I was nearly chasing her around it. She was slippery enough to keep getting out of my grasp.

“Please, please, please Alexi just 2 minutes and it’ll all be over,” I pleaded with her. It’d been a long day and I was fast running out of energy and patience. I still hadn’t gotten to mess out of my hair yet and the smell was starting to make me feel sick.

“Nooooo,” Alexi whined, getting out of my grip once again. This time she was too quick for me and managed to get out of the shower completely. Quick as a flash, she was across the bathroom and out the door. Greg must have left it open a crack because she had no problems getting out.

I grabbed the first clean towel that came to my hand and shot out after her. Unluckily for me the towel was a small one and barely covered the front of me, let alone my ass. Greg was about to get more of an eyeful than he expected tonight. Alexi had made it into the kitchen before I grabbed her. Luckily she decided to start giggling instead of throwing a tantrum.

“Sorry!” I called over my shoulder, quickly running back to the bathroom with the squirming toddler in front of me. This time I made sure the door was closed properly and locked it for good measure. “Now Madam, stop your fussing and lets get clean. Kari really, really needs a beer now.”

“Beer!” Alexi clapped in excitement. “Yay!”

“No beer for you,” I laughed anyway. “Come on, shower.”

This time Alexi didn’t fight me as much. I managed to get both of us vomit free and smelling a lot better after 10 minutes. This time I found a towel that would cover all the essential parts before stepping outside.

“I put her bag in what I hope was your room,” Greg called out from the kitchen. “I’m not looking, I promise.”

“The towel covers everything this time,” I called back, but ushered Alexi into my room quickly to save anymore embarrassing moments. I wasn’t going to ask if tonight could be any more embarrassing, because that felt like I was issuing a challenge to the universe.

Alexi was surprisingly cooperative about getting dressed. I put her on my bed with a picture book while I brushed my hair and got dressed. It took me longer than it should have. I stood in front of my wardrobe agonising about what to wear. Despite my thoughts earlier, I didn’t want to look too casual. But I didn’t want to look like I’d purposely got dressed up either. In the end I settled on something similar to what I’d been wearing when Greg arrived. Denim shorts with a nicer t-shirt than before. I quickly ran a brush through my knotty hair and pulled it up in a messy bun.

“Ok Munchkin time for….” I turned around, trailing off at what I saw. Alexi was fast asleep. I thought she’d gone awfully quiet. It was very early for her to be in bed, no doubt she’d be up at the crack of dawn this morning. But I didn’t have to heart or energy to wake her up. It’d been a very long day for both of us.

I quietly left the room, leaving the door open a crack in case she woke up.

“I’m so sorry,” I apologised again as I stepped into the living room. The rest of the apology didn’t leave my mouth as I stared at what I thought was going to be a big mess. Where Alexi had thrown up was completely clean. The lingering smell of bleach still hung in the air, but it was better than vomit. “Wow, you didn’t have to do that.”

“Like I said, vomit doesn’t worry me,” Greg smiled from where he was in the kitchen. “Like I was going to sit out there and leave the mess for you to clean up. Beer?”

“Oh god yes,” I exhaled noisily, feeling my shoulder droop. “You didn’t have to bring everything over.”

“I figured that dragging Alexi with us might be a hassle, so I brought dinner with me,” Greg said with a shrug. “It’s no big deal. Don’t you even try and offer to pay for it either.”

There goes the next thing I was going to say. Arguing over paying for something would have stopped the awkward silence that was about to happen. It was really good to see Greg in person, but I had no idea what to do next. Should I move to give him a hug? Argue over paying for dinner anyway? Luckily for me, Greg was on the ball and looking more at ease than before. He cracked open one of the beers on the counter, handing it to me with a cooler.

“I even brought the entire Die Hard collection with me,” Greg grinned, holding up the said DVD’s. “And brownies.”

“You had me at Die Hard,” I grinned back, feeling myself starting to relax. “Chilli dogs and brownies are a bonus.”

Maybe this wasn’t going to be so awkward after all.


	52. Chapter 52

“Ready?”

“Not at all.”

Clint closed his eyes, already flinching and bracing his body for what I was about to try. The irony wasn’t lost on me that our roles were reversed from a few months ago. Except I wasn’t shooting arrows at him. 

Natasha promised me ages ago to show me how to do her very cool thigh choke hold movement. Since she wasn’t here, I’d mentioned it to Clint while we were warming up this morning. He’d stupidly said he knew how to do it and could show me. Except he wasn’t expecting me to agree right there and then. After running through the basics and doing it in slow motion, I was about to start it at full speed. Clint looked like he was regretting it very heavily right now.

“I promise I won’t break your neck,” I said, stalling for time. I had no idea if I was going to pull this off or not. Or if I could actually keep that promise.

“Just fucking do it,” Clint’s voice came out very strained. “May as well get this over with.”

The bitter tone wasn’t lost on me. While he hadn’t said anything, Clint came into the gym sullen and silent this morning. His sparring was sloppy and all over the place, I’d put him on the matts 3 times so far before we started working on this move. I’d never been able to put him down that many times in one day. Even I could tell he and Laura were fighting again. I was smart enough not to ask though. Clint would talk if he wanted to. It’d be like pulling teeth if he didn’t.

I rolled my neck before launching myself at Clint. I kneed him in the stomach, hard enough to make him double over. It was very satisfying to hear the whoosh of breath leave his body as my knee connected. As Clint bent over, I hooked my left leg up over his shoulder and pushed myself off with the right leg. For a second, I thought I was about to completely nail the movement. But I’d pushed off with my right leg too hard. I went completely over Clint’s head and slid down his back, landing on the matts with a groan of pain.

“Dumb ass,” Clint chided, turning around to look at me. If it was another other day he would have been laughing, but today I was only met with a raised eyebrow. “Try it again. It’s a push, not a launch. You don’t have that much weight on you to push off the ground.”

“Shut up,” I grumbled, pushing myself up. “And let me try again.”

Clint’s shrugged and turned around, waiting for me to get in position again. He stood there, arms by his side looking relaxed and ready. Instead of asking, I went straight into the movement. This time I managed to get both my legs up, but I was shifted to the left too much. I was so over balanced and about to be flat on my ass again. Clint quickly grabbed both of my thighs, holding me in place on his shoulders with far too much ease, saving us both from an ungraceful tumble. 

“You know, if someone walked in on us this would look very suspicious,” I smirked down at Clint. It did look very suspicious with me sitting on his shoulders and my crotch nearly in his face. It's a good thing we were comfortable with each other, otherwise this could have been awkward.

“Yeah I’m the envy of many men right now, I’ve been between both yours and Natasha’s thighs,” Clint smirked back. His grip shifted suddenly, making me feel like he was about to do something which was going to hurt. Instead of letting him get away with it, I gripped my thighs around his neck as hard as I could and twisted my body. Clint grunted in surprise right as we both crashed to the ground, me still wrapped around his neck. We both lay there breathing heavily for a few seconds before Clint spoke first. 

“Nice,” Clint said, landing a stinging smack on my ass. “Damn woman, have you been hitting the leg machines again?”

“Sure have,” I sad, feeling very proud of myself for taking Clint down and him noticing my new leg strength. It’d been helping a lot with the lingering stiffness from my stab wound. I untangled myself from him, climbing back to my feet. Clint was still on the ground, so I offered my hand to him. “Ready to try again?”

“God no,” Clint grumbled, but took my hand anyway. I hauled him back onto his feet and gave him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. He sighed heavily, before squaring his shoulders and falling back into his previous relaxed stance. “But I’ll let you beat me up a little bit more anyway, cuz I’m nice like that.”

“I’ll pay for breakfast,” I promised with a little grin. “Ready?”

This went on for another hour. We were both drenched in sweat and I was covered in bruises by the time I dragged myself into the showers. I just couldn’t get the move right, I’d either over balance myself or not put enough power behind everything to pull Clint down. It was early days yet though. In a few weeks of solid practice, I should be able to pull it off. It was funny thinking back to those first days in SHIELD when I couldn’t even land a punch on Rollins. While I still couldn’t beat Clint on his good days, I was holding my own very well.

The locker room was busy, as usual for this time of the morning. I managed to get into the showers with minimal interruptions. Some mornings I felt like I spent at least an hour talking, whether it was one of the Bravo boys, or someone I didn’t know that well. There was always someone wanting to pull me up for a chat about something. As I stepped into the showers, I blew out a sigh of relief. I was meant to be going to some senate hearing with Coulson this morning. I didn’t need to get into his bad books by running late for it. Plus I was meant to be meeting up with Greg for lunch. The thought made a small smile tug at my lips.

Nothing happened except for dinner and watching the first Die Hard. It had just been a nice quiet night with a good conversation. It was no different from Clint coming over for dinner. It was so good to talk to someone normal and not involved in SHIELD. It was relaxing and grounding, something I really needed. Greg asked last night if we could catch lunch today. He only had a lecture on this morning and a rare afternoon and night free to himself. I had no idea where we were going but I was looking forward to it. 

I was nearly finished in the shower when I heard the door open. Standing on tip toes, I peered over the top of the cubicle door to see who it was. Sometimes Clint used the showers in here when the guys one was busy. Everyone else was banned from being in here. Seeing Rumlow standing there looking back at me was a surprise.

“No, you can’t join me,” I snorted and turned back to rinsing the suds off. I’d procrastinated enough that if I didn’t get out and get dressed in the next few minutes, I was going to be late. 

“Like I’d want to, you seem to forget I’m a boobs man and you definitely don’t have any,” Rumlow quipped back. His smart ass comment made me laugh. He wasn’t wrong there. “I need your help on something.”

“And it couldn’t wait until I was finished?” I rolled my eyes fighting back the heavy sigh that wanted to escape. Ever since I helped Rumlow with finding forms that day I’d suddenly become his go to person for anything technical. There was a tablet tucked under his arm, so no doubt he’d managed to do something stupid like erase everything off it.

“Not really,” Rumlow’s voice turned serious. “If you can help me with this, we’re leaving in 5 minutes. I’ve already cleared it with Coulson that you don’t have to go to the Stark hearing.”

“The what?” I asked, turning off the shower. Rumlow definitely had my interest now. 

“The senate hearing you were going to,” Rumlow explained with a slight tone of exasperation. “Is about Tony Stark handing over his Iron Man suit. I thought you knew that? Don’t you watch the news?”

“Not really,” I shrugged unapologetically as I wrapped a towel around myself before stepping out into the bathroom. “I just do and go where I’m told.”

“That’s debatable,” Rumlow chuckled as he handed me the tablet. “Tell me what you think about this.”

There was a video on the screen. I tapped the play button and cocked my head to the side as it began to play. A man was sitting handcuffed to a table while someone off screen was firing rapid questions at him in German. The handcuffed man yawned and looked at his interrogator in boredom before replying back in what sounded like babble. I frowned at the screen, sliding it back to listen to his reply again. As the words came out of his mouth it was a random mixture of Icelandic and German all being thrown together. He wasn’t say anything useful at all, it was just a mix of random phrases thrown together. I played it back a few times, just to be sure I was correct in what I was hearing. Judging by the smirk on his face, this guy knew he was pissing off his interrogator. In fact, he was enjoying it. The nonsense Icelandic he was blending with the German made it seem like he was saying something important. 

“You speak German and Icelandic,” Rumlow said once I stopped playing the video. “I need you to translate for me while I interrogate him. He doesn’t speak English and from what we can tell, he doesn’t speak anything other than Icelandic and German either.”

“Sure,” I nodded, feeling my heart sink a little. No doubt this guy was on another continent. There goes my lunch with Greg. If that senate hearing was about Stark, there goes my chance of seeing Pepper again as well. “Where are we going?”

“Egypt,” Rumlow confirmed my previous thought. “We leave as soon as you’re dressed. It's a secure location. So no phones, computers or anything electronic. Grab what you have here as a change of clothes.”

And no time to tell anyone I’d be gone for a few days. I wouldn’t be allowed to communicate with the outside world as of this second. 

“Did you have plans?” Rumlow asked. I looked at him in question, to which he shrugged. “Your face kind of fell, but you look excited to be going.”

“Yeah I was meant to be going to lunch,” I shrugged. Damn my lack of a poker face. “No biggie. He’ll understand.”

“You can send him a text before you go,” Rumlow gave me a small smile. “I’m not that much of a heartless bastard to leave your date in the lurch. God knows the woman I do it to hate me for it.”

“Thanks Brock,” I chuckled, feeling better instantly. “Now get the fuck out so I can get dressed.”

Rumlow gave me a smart little salute before turning on his heel and leaving. I had a business suit ready to wear this morning which was hanging up. There was no way I was flying all the way to Egypt in it. Thankfully I had a clean change of what I usually wore in the field. I could take the suit and get changed if I really had to. I was dressed and ready to go in a minute flat. I quickly typed out an apology to Greg about not making it to lunch today and I’d let him know when I got back. Clint was nowhere to be seen. He’d find out from Coulson in about 20 minutes anyway. I put my phone back in my locker and a few other things that I didn’t need, before walking out to find Rumlow. He was waiting across the hall for me, talking to his 2nd in charge. I hung back while Rumlow finished giving him a rundown of everything that needed to be done over the next few days. It wasn’t a long list. The conversation wrapped up quickly and 30 minutes later, I was levelling the Quinjet off at cruising altitude. Since it was just Rumlow and I, he sat in the co-pilot seat, book in hand and seemingly oblivious to the world around him. It took me about 2 minutes to get bored and Rumlow had the perfect target sitting in his hand to be teased about.

“Seriously, you’re only up to reading The Goblet of Fire?” 

“Fuck off,” Rumlow didn’t even look up from his book. “It’s not like I get heaps of spare time to read. But I’m determine to finish the books before the next movie come out. So be quiet and let me read.”

I sighed noisily to see if I could irritate him. It didn’t work. Rumlow just kept his nose stuck in the book, reading like I wasn’t there. I was bored already. It was a long ass flight to the coordinations I was given in Egypt. Without my usual entertainment of my phone or laptop, I had nothing to do for the next 10 hours. 

“I have Lord of the Rings in my bag as well,” Rumlow seemed to take pity on me. Either that or he didn’t want to deal with my shit. He still didn’t look up from his book though. “That I have finished and you’re welcome to borrow it.”

I’d already read it, but it was better than sitting here picking my fingernails for 10 hours straight. I hadn’t done a long haul flight for so long, I’d forgotten how fucking boring it could be. I was very grateful for autopilot and Rumlow’s battered copy of Lord of the Rings. I was a quarter into The Two Towers before we landed in our undisclosed location. It was little more than a patch of concrete to put the Quinjet on and a 3 story building which looked like it was being held together with bailing twine and duct tape. There was nothing but desert all around us for miles. The blast of hot air was like stepping out into an oven. The mid morning sun beat down on my exposed skin, making it feel like I was roasting in seconds while I fumbled for the button to cloak the Quinjet. I was so out of practice, it took me a full minute to find it.

“Come on,” Rumlow hitched his bag over his shoulder, tilting his head in the direction of the building. “You’ve done an interrogation before haven't you?”

“Nope,” I shook my head, following him towards the building. There hadn’t been any opportunities for me to be with Natasha or Clint if they had to interrogate someone. It was one field I was severely lacking in.

“Really?” Rumlow’s step faltered as glanced at me. “Fuck it. Well, heres your crash course. I’ll ask the questions. You translate them and the answers for me. Don’t ask me any questions about what I’m doing. Don’t faint or puke. Got it?”

“Got it.”

I really didn’t want to know the details of why I’d faint or puke. But since we were in Egypt, a country where the rules on torture were pretty lax, I could make a good guess. Whoever this guy was must have pissed off SHIELD in a big way.

Despite the derelict appearance on the outside, the house was in surprisingly good condition on the inside. The blast of air conditioning after the door opened was very welcome. The room with a TV and a few chairs off to me side looked a lot more luxurious than I anticipated. I could hear water running somewhere from inside the house. So running water and electricity were definitely a bonus out here. Someone had done a very good job of disguising the house to make it look ready to fall apart. Stepping into the hallway, we were greeted by a male agent. He looked a few years older than me and was very unhappy judging by the angry scowl on his face. 

“Rumlow,” he nodded tightly before his eyes glanced over me like I wasn’t standing there. “You know I could have done this myself. I don’t need your help.”

“I’m just following orders Pete,” Rumlow apologised with a tight smile that looked more like a grimace. “I’m not trying to stand on anyone’s toes here.”

“Yet you’re bringing me the biggest arrogant fucker in the agency,” Pete scowled even more. “When’s he going to be here? We don’t have all fucking week to get this information out of this guy.”

“What?” the confusion was clear on Rumlow’s face. I’m sure my face looked exactly the same. Were we meant to pick someone else up on the way and Rumlow forgot to mention it? “Who’s he?”  “Jared Lyngley?” Pete blew out an angry breath. “We were told Agent Lyngley is coming to translate. I thought he was still grounded for blowing up half of Pripyat. But I guess there’s a bonus to your mother working in HR and being Fury’s favourite pet spy. You get to do whatever the fuck you want without consequences.”

Oh, ouch. Someone obviously didn’t like Jared. Rumlow looked ready to smack Pete in the face for being so rude. Although Rumlow and Jared weren’t best of friends, there was a definite respect between the two of them. 

“Sadly, he’s in New York getting his fucked up ankle put back together,” I said politely trying to diffuse the situation. Jared had left for New York the day after Greg and I had our chilli dog night. “I think you’ll find that I’m Agent Lyngley as well, Kari actually.”

I stuck my hand out to shake with Pete. He only looked at me with disdain and ignored my outstretched hand. 

“The asshole is in his box with Brittany Spears blasting for the next 8 hours,” Pete turned his attention to Rumlow. “So you can do whatever you want until he's ready to come out.”

“Then get him out,” Rumlow was looking more pissed off with every passing second. “We’re on a timetable here.”

“If I pull him out early it isn't going to help,” Pete snapped. His face was turning a brilliant shade of red in his anger. “You can wait.”

“No,” Rumlow stood his ground, crossing his arms. I could see his muscles flexing under his tight shirt like he was trying to stop himself punching Pete in the face. “I have orders. I don’t give a fuck what you think about them. If you really want, you can call Agent Hand and deal with her.”

I could see the muscles in Pete’s jaw working back and forth as he grit his teeth. I’d never spoken to or met Victoria Hand. But from all accounts she was a hard ass bitch and no one questioned her orders. Or if they did, they found themselves in a very remote location doing a very shitty mission.

“Has she even done an interrogation before?” Pete jerked his head in my direction. “Last thing I want if you taking a rookie in there and fucking up all the good work I’ve already done.”

“She is standing right here and can hear you,” I snapped at Pete before Rumlow could jump to my defence. Good god, this agent was an arrogant piece of shit. “And she has a name. It’s Kari Lyngley, part of STRIKE Team Delta. I work with Black Widow and Hawkeye, so get out of my fucking way before I beat your stupid ass for wasting my time with irrelevant questions.”

“Or what Princess?” Pete didn’t back down at my rant. “You gonna go crying to your Mommy about another agent giving you trouble? Or just go crying to your fuck toy Hawkeye, cuz we all know you sucking his cock is the only reason you got the position you have.”

I really wish people could get creative when it came to insulting me. I’d heard that little petty insult plenty of times before.

“Its Natasha I’m sleeping with actually,” I heaved a bored sigh, lifting my eyebrow at Pete. “Sometimes we let Barton watch, but he's not allowed to touch. Get your facts right before you start flinging shit at someone else.”

Rumlow sounded like he nearly choked on his own tongue at what I’d just said. Pete stood there, openly glaring at me for what felt like an entire minute. His face was getting redder with every passing second. I expected to see steam start coming out of his ears.

“Interrogation room is down there,” Pete’s words were slow and strained through his gritted teeth when he finally spoke. He pointed down the hallway. “Code for the door is 8892. Do not fuck up the good work I’ve just done, or I will be ringing Agent Hand and it’ll be you who doesn’t like the consequences.”

“Whatever,” I rolled my eyes and made sure he saw it. “Fuck off then, you aren’t needed here anymore.”

I inwardly cringed at my complete lack of filter today. I must have hit my head during training this morning and just flipped the filter switch off completely. Or Clint and I swapped filters somewhere along the way. I normally wasn’t this brash. Or brave. The surge of adrenaline that came from it felt really good though. 

Pete stormed off without any word to either of us. He went up the stairs and a few seconds later the slam of a door echoed through the house.

“Nice work,” Rumlow chuckled. He raised his fist and I happily bumped my own fist against his. “Lets go fish the idiot out of his box.”

And save his eardrums from being assaulted with Brittany Spears. While I hadn’t ever been in an interrogation, I’d heard the tricks of the trade from Natasha, Clint and Jared. Clint was very fond of locking people in confined spaces and blasting them with trashy music. Sensory overload and sleep deprivation together could turn a lot of people into a blubbering mess. But Natasha and Jared were both fond of going straight to breaking fingers and ripping out nails. It had more instantaneous results in most cases.

I followed Rumlow and hung back while he got the interrogation room opened. It was exactly like you’d expect from one. A boring room, all grey with a table and chairs in the middle. Besides a door leading to what I presumed was an extension and where the more creative interrogation techniques took place, there was nothing else. 

“Have a seat, I’ll go get him,” Rumlow said, cracking his neck as he walked to the connecting door. I didn’t really have a choice or anything else to do. So I plonked my ass down in one of the empty chairs, sprawling as I sat down. I should have gotten a coffee before we started this. It would have given me something to do besides sit here and pick at my fingernails. 

Thankfully Rumlow didn’t take long. In a few minutes he was dragging the same person I’d seen on the video hours ago across the room. Rumlow roughly shoved him down into the chair and with the ease of years of practice had his handcuffed chained to the table. The chain was long enough to let him scratch his nose. The first thing to hit me was the smell of him. Days of sweat and shitting in his own pants nearly made me gag. But I kept a straight face, well, what I hoped to be a straight face. Dirty blonde hair and a handsome scowling face looked at both of us with an air of utter defiance. I guess some sensory overload hadn’t improved his mood at all. 

“Dante Gunnarson,” Rumlow started, as he settled in the chair next to me. “I’m Agent Rumlow and this is Agent Lyngley. We’re here to have a chat.”

“Oh for fuck sake,” Dante muttered in his strangely accented German. He didn’t even bother to try and cover rolling his eyes. “Here we go, lets play good cop and bad cop.”

“Hardly,” I replied back in German. I was slower than him, but I could still get my tongue around the heavy words. Why did it have to by German? It really wasn’t my strong language at all. “Believe me when I say I’m the bad cop, but he’s your worst nightmare.”

“No sweetheart, you’re just the bait and a pretty prize if I behave nicely,” Dante sneered at me in Icelandic. “Not that any of you idiots can understand me. It’s so funny to flip between languages and watch you all sit there and scratch your heads.”

“Oh but that’s where I come in,” I smiled sweetly, easily flipping to my stronger Icelandic. “See, I’m your translator and unluckily for you I speak both the languages you love to flip between. So no more bullshit ramblings about nothing in Icelandic for you”

Rumlow was watching me out of the corner of his eye. We’d had a few brief chats during our reading breaks on the trip here. I told him I wouldn’t translate everything, just the important things. There was no need for him to know all the minor details.

Dante sat back in the chair as much as his cuffs allowed him, giving me a sullen look. I didn’t miss the flicker of fear cross his face. He would have known the game was up and shit was about to get really serious for him. 

“So,” Rumlow said pleasantly with a creepy smile that would my blood run cold if I was on the receiving end of it. “We can do this the hard way or the really hard way. What’s it going to be?”

I repeated the question in Icelandic rapidly. The sullen look on Dante’s face quickly turned into a sneer and a very unamused laugh.

“Or what? You’ll put me back in that box with an American whore singing for 8 hours straight? I’d rather that than sitting here listening to you try and prod information out of me.”

“He said he’s happy for you to rip out all his nails and break some fingers,” I said to Rumlow, trying to mirror the smile on his face. “Apparently he likes Brittany Spears enough to listen to her for another 8 hours so that’s no fun anymore.”

“Music to my ears,” Rumlow laughed as he got up. He clapped his hand on my shoulder. “Give me a minute. I need to get some toys.”

Dante said nothing as Rumlow left the room, but his eyes tracked his every movement. As soon as the door slammed shut, his bored stare turned to me. I ignored him, taking my hair out of the messy ponytail it’d been in and twisting up into a bun. If things were about to get messy, I didn’t want to deal with trying to get blood out of my hair. 

“Typical woman, always worried about her hair,” Dante sniffed. He’d stuck to Icelandic this time much to my relief. His cold stare roved over my body openly. I’d stripped down to my tank top while I was flying and hadn’t bothered to put my shirt back on. “SHIELD could have sent someone who was better to look at than you before I get my fingernails pulled out, or whatever you’re going to do next.”

“I believe he’s more of a fan of water boarding,” I said, not backing from returning the stare. The Icelandic flowed smoothly on my tongue. It was actually good to practice it with a native speaker. Not just use it for random swearing and muttering under my breath when I didn’t want anyone to know what I was saying. “And like you can talk. You’ve been sitting in your own shit and piss listening to Brittany Spears for the last 2 days. At least I’ve had a shower and eaten.”

“Fuck you,” Dante snarled at me. Obviously I’d hit a nerve there. “Fuck SHIELD. You can’t make me talk.”

Despite the tough talk, Dante was beginning to sweat. I could see the perspiration beading along his forehead. I’d be nervous too if I was in his shoes. I’d heard stories about Rumlow’s interrogation techniques. He was brutal and borderline sadistic in his methods. But he got the job done, usually very quickly too. I didn’t know the full story behind Dante or what he was involved in, but it sounded like time was of the essence here. SHIELD had definitely gone for a big gun for this one.

“Suit yourself,” I shrugged casually. “Don’t expect any sympathy from me when he’s done with you.”

“Fuck off,” Dante said sullenly, switching back to German. I didn’t blame him, swearing in German could be very satisfying. “Nothing you can do will scare me.”

Challenge accepted. Clint and Natasha would be so proud for what I was about to do. I gave him another bored glance before concentrating on the bare skin of his forearm. The sweat now glistening on his skin made it a perfect target for me. It wasn’t hard to ice the sweat on his arm over, enough to sting like hell on the bare skin but not enough to do any damage.

The effect was instant. With a shout, Dante tried to get up and rip his arm away from the table. He jerked violently, struggling against the handcuffs to get away from me. Unfortunately for him, he jerked so hard even I heard the snap of his wrist dislocating. There was a long pause of utter silence as we both stared at the deformed wrist. Dante’s face turned a brilliant shade of red, then purple as he tried to contain his emotion. Sweat was pouring off his face, he was biting his lip so hard a trickle of blood started to run down his chin. His wrist lay limply on the table looking very misshapen. The smell or urine and fresh shit didn’t go unnoticed by me either. I’d scared him enough that he’d pissed and shit himself. The rank odour of his freshly soiled pants made my eyes water and stomach churn. Inwardly I wanted to throw up, but I kept my own stoic expression firmly plastered on my face. 

“I bet that didn’t tickle,” I said, leaning back in my chair trying to ignore the churning feeling in my stomach. His wrist looked terrible and he would have been in agony. I felt a little bit bad about scaring him so much. If it was my wrist I would have been a blubbering mess.

“Fucking mutant scum,” Dante snarled at me, falling back to Icelandic. His words were choked and very forced. The line of colourful threats he started to spew at me erased the mild feelings of guilt pretty quickly. 

“Wow, he sounds angry,” Rumlow’s voice made me turn. I hadn’t heard him open the door. He was holding a bucket and a what looked like a tool roll. If Rumlow noticed the dislocated wrist, he didn’t say anything about it.

“He said nothing could scare him, I took it up as a challenge,” I said with a shrug. “I froze the sweat on his arm and it apparently scared him enough to dislocate his wrist trying to get away from me.”

Dante had gone silent again, his eyes darting between Rumlow and I like he was trying to follow our conversation. Rumlow mentioned he spoke very minimal English. So not knowing what we were saying would be adding to his growing terror. 

“Smells like you made him shit his pants too,” Rumlow chuckled darkly. “Good work. I’m going to yank his head back and give him a little lesson on manners. Then we’ll see if he wants to talk. Ready?”

Nope. I definitely wasn’t ready, but I nodded anyway. Rumlow moved a lot faster than I’d ever seen him and had Dante’s hair in his fist within seconds. With a hard yank, that would have definitely torn out some hair, Rumlow had Dante’s head tilted back at an uncomfortable angle. Dante grunted in protest, but made no effort to beg. It would have been useless anyway.

“Tell him this is for mouthing off at you.” Rumlow’s face had turned completely expressionless. “And then hand me that cloth in the bucket. Feel free to make it as cold as possible.”

“Because you’re being an asshole,” I flipped back to Icelandic. “Rumlow is going to have fun with you first. Then we’ll have a proper chat.”

“Cunt.” The expletive in English was surprising, but I’d expected something along those lines. I really hated that word. Especially if it was being thrown at me. Rumlow tightened the grip on Dante’s hair, making him hiss in pain.

“That’s not a nice word,” Rumlow chastised him. I didn’t bother repeating it for Dante. He’d get the message, lack of english or not. Rumlow held his hand out, making me jump up from my seat quickly and sticking my hand in the bucket. It was full of water, ready for Dante’s waterboarding session. While splashing around for the cloth, I left little trails of ice through the water. I made the water so cold my hand was numb by the time I got the cloth out and handed it to Rumlow. 

He didn’t flinch as I handed him the near frozen piece of fabric. But Dante did when Rumlow covered his mouth and nose with it. He struggled against his handcuffs and Rumlow’s iron grip, but to no avail. 

“Jug.” Rumlow held his hand out. I fished out the large jug in the bucket, making sure I didn’t spill any as I handed it over. “So, this is how we waterboard someone for maximum terror.”

Rumlow slowly started to pour the water over the cloth on Dante’s face. It was little more than a trickle, but Dante started to thrash instantly. 

“The slower you go, the more sensation of drowning happens and draws out over a long time,” Rumlow explained. His tone was more like he was giving a classroom lecture on baking cookies than waterboarding. “You make sure their chest is higher than the head so they can still expel the water, but the sensation of drowning is still there.”

“Brutal.” I inwardly flinched at the sight in front of me. I never knew a human could make the noises Dante was currently making. The gurgle of him slowly suffocating under the cloth, the groans of distress and choking sounds as his body expelled the liquid back out of his lungs. It made my already queasy stomach contract even further. 

“Very effective though” Rumlow continued the stream of water on Dante’s face, completely oblivious to his struggles. “If he doesn’t play nice when I finish doing this, I’ll get you to hold your hand over his mouth next round.”

I nodded tightly. I really hoped Dante was a bit of a pussy and decided to cooperate quickly. I really didn’t want to hold my hand over his mouth. It felt like forever before the jug ran out, but it wouldn’t have been more than a minute. Rumlow handed the jug back to me before yanking the cloth off Dante’s face and pushing him forward. Dante gasped and vomited in his own lap. I could see his entire body trembling uncontrollably as he sat there struggling to breath while vomiting. 

“Are you ready to answer our questions?” I asked in Icelandic once Dante stopped vomiting all over himself. The sullen glare was the only response from him. In an instant, Rumlow jerked his head back again and the cloth went back over his face. I could see the cloth moving up and down rapidly over Dante’s mouth in his panicked breathing. 

“Round 2,” Rumlow said cheerfully, holding his hand out for the jug. “Hold his mouth this time. That really fucks them up when it goes up their nose.”

I obediently filled the jug back up and handed it over. Pushing down my squeamishness, I clamped my hand over Dante’s mouth. He thrashed his head from side to side, trying to throw me off. He couldn’t move enough due to Rumlow’s tight grip to dislodged my hand. Just as Rumlow went to start tipping the water again, Dante managed to bite my hand through the cloth. It was barely a pinch thanks to the cloth muffling his teeth. But it made me jerk back in surprise and release his mouth. I grabbed my hand to inspect for any damage, but there was none. 

“Did he just bite you?” Rumlow looked to me in surprise at my sudden movement. I nodded, scowling down at Dante. Rumlow released the grip on his hair. “Slap him, hard. Tell him next time you’ll start pulling out this teeth. Don’t yell, smile and say it calmly.”

I did as Rumlow told me. My open hand landed on Dante’s cheek with a satisfying crack, whipping his head in the opposite direction. Any traces of sympathy I felt for him had quickly vanished the second I felt his teeth touch my palm. I grabbed his face, yanking it back around to face me.

“Next time I’ll rip your fucking teeth out,” I said, plastering a sweet smile on my face as I spoke with deliberate slowness in Icelandic. “With my bare hands.”

Rumlow didn’t give Dante a chance to respond. He yanked his head back again and motioned for me to put my hand back over his mouth. This time as soon as my hand touched the fabric, Rumlow was pouring the water up his nose. If I thought Dante was thrashing violently before, it was nothing like the struggle he put up now. I had a hard time keeping my hand over his mouth. Even Rumlow lost grip of his hair twice. Despite the thrashing, Rumlow managed to draw the trickle of water out even further than last time. 

“Let go,” Rumlow instructed as the last few drops came out of the jug. I quickly snatched my hand away just as Rumlow pushed Dante’s head forward again, ripping the cloth away as he went. He put a little too much effort into the push and Dante’s head connected with the table with a loud thump. Dante didn’t seem to care, he was too busy sounding like he was choking on his own vomit to notice the pool of blood appearing on the table. I had to turn away this time. I couldn't deal with the sight of vomit and blood mixing together. 

“Kari.” Rumlow’s tone was warning enough for me. I needed to suck it up and turn around. I cleared my throat and quickly rubbed my face before turning around. Dante was still retching, but nothing was coming out of his body now. It was just his body convulsing and shaking uncontrollably.

“Ask him if he’s ready to talk now,” Rumlow said, standing back with his arms crossed. “Because I can do this all day. If he decides to cooperate, I’ll even feed him and give him some clean clothes.”

“Do you feel more talkative now?” I parroted back in Icelandic. I used the most soothing tone I could manage. “If you answer some questions for us, it will all stop. There’ll be food, a shower and clean clothes waiting if you cooperate.”

“Wasting your time here sweetheart,” Dante said through wheezing breaths. His Icelandic was barely understandable. He turned his head and spat in my direction. It missed me by a mile, but his intent was clear. “My secrets are going the grave.”

“He said he’d love another round with you Rumlow,” I translated, shaking my head. I had to give it to Dante, he was a tough fucker. When I did my SERE training back in the Air Force, the instructors said most people will be a mess after one round of waterboarding. Let alone two. 

“Coming right up,” Rumlow said cheerfully, moving back into position and grabbing Dante’s hair again. “Make it really cold this time.”

I swallowed back the bile that rose in my throat and did as I was told. The water was near freezing this time, a few chips of ice floated around in the jug as Rumlow splashed it over Dante’s face again. This time he didn’t take the cloth off when he was done, he just motioned for me to refill the jug and kept going. I did as I was told, growing increasingly more uncomfortable with every round.

By the time the bucket of water was finished, Dante still wasn’t speaking. There weren’t even any snide remarks when I asked him questions. No promises seemed to work on him. All I got was a sullen stare and a firmly set jaw. It felt like we’d been going at it for hours. I was tired, my shoulders and neck ached from standing for so long. I was too queasy to think about food, but I could desperately use a caffeine hit. 

“Fuck it, he can go back in his box for a few hours.” Rumlow threw the jug back in the bucket in disgust. “Pick a really annoying song for him to listen to while we rack out.”

“How about that Barney the Dinosaur song?” I suggested. Lila had gone through a Barney phase a few months ago. If I ever had to hear a purpose dinosaur singing ‘I love you, you love me’ again I’d shoot myself in the head. Someone else should share in the misery I’d gone through.

“Sounds good to me,” Rumlow grinned, looking far too pleased with my song choice. I was beginning to think there was a slightly sadistic side to Rumlow that I never, ever wanted to be on. “Come help me then we’ll grab something to eat.”

Dante didn’t struggle at all as Rumlow uncuffed him from the table. He was pretty lifeless as Rumlow dragged him into the other room. This room had a few more things in it. A lockable box was against one wall. There were various types of restraints hanging from the roof, as well as some on the walls. An impressive whip, rope and handcuff collection littered the room in various spots. It almost made the room look like a BDSM dungeon. 

“In you go,” Rumlow’s cheery voice made me snap my attention back to the task at hand. He lifted Dante’s barely conscious body into the box. Dante was quite tall, so he was very crammed in the tiny box. Rumlow made no attempt to rearrange him into a more comfortable position. He simply slammed the lid shut and put in a 4 pin code. The box locked with a metallic click and the faint whirl of something mechanic started up. It was like a computer booting up. A second later, a screen popped up with a keyboard.

“And here you go, some Barney the Dinosaur singing for the next 8 hours,” Rumlow chuckled as he slowly tapped on the keyboard while speaking. “Built in MP3 player and speakers in the box for sensory overloading. Best invention ever.”

“Ah.” I couldn’t think of anything intelligent to say to Rumlow’s explanation. It was kind of clever, in a very fucked up way. 

“Come on, I’ll cook us something to eat and then we can get some sleep.” Rumlow turned around once he was finished and gave my shoulder a friendly squeeze. He studied my face for a few seconds, a thoughtful expression crossing his face. “You look a bit green, you ok?”

“Yeah, fine,” I lied, forcing a smile onto my face. “God it’s been a long day though.”

I really wasn’t feeling fine. I felt like I needed to go and bathe myself in bleach after what I just put another human being through. Killing someone was easier than what Dante had just been through. The only good part of these last few hours was me freezing the sweat on his arm.

“Liar.” Rumlow gave me a mildly exasperated look. “I know its gristly, but you did good in there. A lot of guys don’t make it through their first interrogation without puking.”

“Still not sure that isn’t going to happen,” I admitted, wrinkling my nose as my stomach clenched uncomfortably again. My earlier bravado was long gone. “I want to scrub a few layers of skin off with some bleach.”

“Put some food in your stomach first, then at least you’ll have something to throw up,” Rumlow’s wisdom sounded like it was coming from personal experience. “Come on, I’ll cook you my famous carbonara. You can’t pass that up.”

Rumlow slung his arm around my shoulders and gave me a brief squeeze. His words weren’t very comforting, but I allowed myself to be led into the kitchen and pushed down into the chair while he got busy. It was very weird to see him go from the guy he was in the interrogation room back to the guy I knew, laughing and joking about life. He even managed to find us some beer. It was some foreign crap but it went down a lot better than I thought it would. The kitchen was small, but stocked well enough for Rumlow to find everything he needed to cook for us. 

The carbonara was the best I’d ever had in my life, even if I couldn’t finish it all. It would have been perfect with some garlic bread, but we weren’t that lucky to have any bread on hand. Still, I felt a lot more human after some food and a beer. After cleaning up the kitchen we inspected the house a little further. There were a few bedrooms upstairs, all with ensures attached to them. I claimed the first one I came across and despite still wanting to douse myself in bleach, I stripped off and collapsed into bed. I was out like a light within seconds. 

I slept fitfully, vivid nightmares constantly jolting me awake. It was exhausting to fall asleep, only to be woken up soon after from something. It was everything all blended together. Pripyat, Riley’s death, my fucked up mission in Afghanistan and this interrogation in one mash up of blurred events. My brain would not let me have any kind of restful sleep. I was cranky and exhausted when Rumlow knocked on my door a few hours later, needing me to come back to the interrogation room. Pete being present this time didn't help my mood either. He said nothing to me and I was happy to ignore him. 

No matter what Rumlow and Pete did to him, Dante remained tight lipped throughout the very aggressive interrogation session. All of Dante’s fingers were dislocated by the end of it and he’d lost his clothes privileges thanks to his sealed lips. Rumlow left him tied up in a kneeling position and turned the air conditioner down to near freezing in the room. 

“He’ll talk eventually,” Rumlow said cheerfully as he cooked another batch of pasta for all of us. “They always do.”

The cycle continued on what felt like endless time. The windows here shielded us from the outside world. We could only go outside for emergencies, so we didn’t break cover about it being an abandoned building. After what I thought was the first few days I soon lost track of how long we’d been here. There were some basic uniforms in the closet of my bedroom so at least I didn’t have to worry about washing except for my bra. It was painfully boring. Wake up, translate if he was talking, sit in a corner if he wasn’t. Eat and then sleep again. Besides a few books, the entertainment options were limited to your own imagination and the few DVD’s on hand. No Internet. The only electricity we had running was for lights, air conditioning and the basic appliances. Even the radio and satellite phones to call SHIELD was run on batteries. 

We were in the room I’d now dubbed the dungeon. Calling it a BDSM room felt wrong on so many levels. People enjoyed BDSM play, or so I heard. This was not a room where anyone enjoyed themselves. I was sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall staring at Dante who was currently tied so he was standing up. Rumlow and Pete were both circling him, not saying anything but slapping him at random intervals. Everything was so random, there was no pattern to it. They would both feint a hit too, making Dante openly cringe any time either of them got too close. But his lips remained shut. In fact, he hadn’t spoken in the last 2 sessions at all. 

Dante’s body was a mess of bruises from the beatings over the last few days. He looked and smelt terrible. But I was nearly immune to the stench coming off him now. No one had bothered to reset his fingers and his right shoulder had been dislocated as well. We all admired him for how tough he was. But SHIELD was getting impatient. They needed to know the information only Dante knew, and they needed it now. Why they just couldn’t send us some truth serum I would never know. This could have been over in a few minutes. Instead we had to resort to torture and even that wasn’t working. 

“All we need is a name Dante,” I repeated for the 1033rd time in Icelandic. We’d given up on wanting information. Right now all Rumlow needed was a name for his buyer of whatever he was dealing in. “A name and this all stops.”

I didn’t even get his customary sullen look anymore. Dante simply stared straight ahead at the wall. I sighed irritably, looking at his bare legs and feet. Rumlow hadn’t started breaking his toes yet. It made me wonder if that was going to be next on the agenda. I was so bored and tired. I wasn't sleeping well here at all. The nightmares were plaguing me every single time I shut my eyes. While I’d become immune to the stench of Dante, the interrogation techniques Rumlow and Pete used were still making me feel sick. I hadn’t thrown up, but the feeling of wanting to dunk myself in bleach every time I left these rooms hadn’t diminished. So much for how cocky I felt coming into this. Right now I felt disgusting for standing by and watching this being done to another human. But orders were orders. No matter if I agreed with them or not. I just had to be tough and do my job. 

Dante was sweating so much that even the tops of his feet were shiny. The room was freezing again so it was the stress of the torture doing it. In my boredom I concentrated on his toes feeling the moisture pooling around them. Maybe freezing his feet over, just enough to sting again, would get him to react a little bit. I reached out with my power, the ice easily forming on his toes and quickly winding its way up his ankles thanks to his sweaty skin.

“Whoa, what the….” Pete was cut off by Dante screaming. It was so loud and unexpected all 3 of us jumped.

“Ophelia Sarkissia,” the name tumbled out of Dante’s mouth. I was so surprised to hear him speak, I lost concentration of my power and the ice turned into a puddle at his feet. Dante heaved a few heavy breaths, looking utterly defeated. He added in a much quieter voice in Icelandic. “That’s my buyer.” 

“See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Rumlow’s voice turned kind. He quickly undid the ties holding Dante up, gently supporting him to the ground instead of letting him drop. “Come on, lets get you cleaned up and fed. The doctor will be here to attend to your injuries within the hour.”

Pete was gone out of the door as soon as the name was dropped. So it was just Rumlow and I getting Dante into the more comfortable holding cell. It had a bathroom, a bed and clean change of clothes. Pure luxury considering Dante had been living in a box smaller than himself for the last god knows how long. As we got him into the room, he collapsed onto the bed pulling himself into a ball. It was like seeing a dam break. As soon as he touched the soft mattress he began to sob uncontrollably. Gone was the cocky and sullen man I walked in on. Right now he looked utterly broken as his body wracked with the great heaving sobs coming from him. He’d been through hell however long I’d been here. I actually felt a little sorry for him. What SHIELD did with him now wasn’t going to be fun for him either. He’d probably spend the rest of his life in the Fridge. I couldn’t help but look back at the broken man as we left the room. 

“He doesn’t even deserve you looking back at him Kari,” Rumlow said to me firmly as we started to walk away. “If the tables were turned that piece of shit would have raped you, tortured you and then sold you off to the highest bidder. He doesn’t deserve an ounce of pity or sympathy from you.”

“No, I know,” I fumbled to find the right words to say. There really wasn’t anything I could say. I didn’t like seeing someone tortured. I wouldn’t forget the sound of Dante being waterboarded anytime soon. I felt like I was never going to be clean again by taking part in it. But I also knew that this guy was the worst of the worst to send Rumlow in. There were hundreds of trained interrogators and other field agents who could have done this job. But Rumlow was one of the best. He didn’t brag about it but everyone in STRIKE knew the stories. He could get information out of anyone but he was only sent in to crack the really bad ones. I never, ever, wanted to be on that side of him. 

“Come on, lets get on the radio and hopefully we can head back to civilisation as soon as the clean up crew arrives,” Rumlow said, his tone back to carefree and light. He slung an arm around my shoulder and gave me a brief hug. “You did good. It’s messy and the shit really fucks with your moral compass. But you did good despite all that. That trick about icing over his legs was perfect, can’t believe I didn’t think of it myself.”

“We might have been home earlier if one of us did,” I said dryly, feeling a little comforted by Rumlow’s words. “I’m dying for some junk food.”

“You and me both sister. Go pack up your shit and I’ll get in touch with base.” Rumlow chuckled lightly releasing his grip on my shoulders. He gave me a little shove in the direction of the stairs. “You good to fly if we can leave right away?”

“Give me a coffee and we’re good to go” I was exhausted, but I could definitely manage to stay awake long enough to get us in the air and let the autopilot take over until we got back into US airspace. 

“I’ll make a pot to go,” Rumlow looked very relieved at my answer. 

I didn’t need to be told twice. I bounced up the stairs and threw the few things I had here back in my bag. I couldn't wait for civilisation. I wanted cheeseburgers and chocolate. I wanted to binge watch Netflix and surf the internet looking at videos of cats until 3am simply because I could. Since I had fuck all here, I went into Rumlow’s room and threw his stuff in his bag as well. He’d brought less than I had so I was done in 5 minutes and heading back down the stairs. 

I didn’t expect from Rumlow to have his foot in the bottom step, holding one of the satellite phones in his hand. We both jumped as each others sudden appearances.

“Coulson on the line for you,” Rumlow explained, holding out the satellite phone. “New orders.”

“They better fucking be in civilisation with internet and McDonalds,” I muttered as I went down the stairs to grab the phone. Rumlow laughed quietly at my snarky tone before handing the phone over. It was strangely exciting to be hearing someone else's voice as I put the bulky phone to my ear. “Hey Coulson.”

“Hey Kari,” Coulson sounded tired and happy all at the same time. I smiled at hearing his voice. “Change of plans for you. Once the new crew get there, they’ll drop you at Cairo International Airport. Your passport and tickets are waiting there for you.”

“Umm, sure?” I frowned at the sudden change of plans. “Where am I going?”

“To Malibu. You and I are baby sitting Tony Stark. You may have missed a thing or two over the last 2 weeks.”

Aww fuck it. There goes my peace and quiet back in civilisation.


	53. Chapter 53

I stretched as I climbed out of the cab, enjoying the feel of every bone in my back cracking and popping as I moved my stiff muscles. It’d been a long flight back, but at least Coulson had put me in Business class. I was so tired it only took a glass of scotch and I passed out until the flight attendant woke me up for the stopover in London. While at Heathrow, I took full advantage of the free alcohol in business lounge while waiting for my connection and caught up on the news.

Tony Stark had been attacked by some psycho wielding 2 electrical whips of all things last week. 2 nights ago, he trashed his own mansion in a drunken rage at his birthday party. TMZ were reporting that Rhodey had been there as well in one of the Iron Man suits. While TMZ wasn’t the most reliable reporting source, the grainy video footage was hard to dispute.

Rhodey looked pretty bad ass in an Iron Man suit, even I had to admit that.

Then there was the senate hearing facade that I was meant to be at with Coulson. As funny as Stark was, I really wasn’t amused by his antics. I guess neither was anyone else in SHIELD, given that they had Coulson baby sitting him.

I was feeling a little hungover as I paid for the cab, remembering to grab the receipt like Coulson would ask for. It was late evening here in California. Tony’s Malibu mansion was stunning in the black night. Perched on the cliffs, the white mansion stood out against the night sky. It was far away enough out of town you could even see the stars out here. The only thing that could be heard was the crash of the ocean. After being stuck in the middle of the desert for the last 2 weeks, this was a refreshing and much needed change. The cool sea breeze made goosebumps stand up on my arms as I walked up to the door. Before I could knock, the door swung open.

“Ok, that’s a little creepy,” I murmured, poking my head into the expansive entryway. I was expecting Coulson to be waiting for me. But the mansion was empty and silent.

“Good evening Agent Lyngley,” a British voice came out of nowhere. I jumped, dropping my bag in my fright. It took me a second to remember JARVIS. I’d completely forgotten about the AI who ran basically everything in Stark’s life. “Agent Coulson is currently in the workshop with Mr Stark. He has advised you to get some sleep and he’ll speak to you in the morning. Your personal belongings are currently in one of the guest rooms which I will direct you to.”

I blinked at the ceiling, processing the information dump just given to me by a computer. Sorry an AI. I’m sure JARVIS would be offended being called a computer when he was so much more than that. In my silence, a glowing trail with arrows appeared at me feet. I guess I was going to the guest room and getting some sleep whether I wanted it or not. I’d grabbed Burger King at the airport, so I wasn’t hungry. But after sleeping through most of my flight, I wasn’t particularly tired either. I picked up my bag and began to follow the glowing line.

“In your room, there is an ensuite if you wish to freshen up,” JARVIS spoke as I walked along, taking in the sights of the huge mansion. Everything was crisp and modern. Whoever his interior decorator was sure liked white rooms with the odd splash of colour and dark furniture. “You also have full wifi access for both your laptop and phone. Please help yourself to the kitchen in the guest wing. If you wish to have any food delivered, please let me know and I will organise it for you. Mr Stark has agreed to pay for anything you need during your stay.”

“Thank you JARVIS.” I felt like an idiot talking to the ceiling. But it seemed wrong to not thank the AI for being helpful. The information about Stark paying for everything was a nice little surprise. I suppose when you had more money than most countries did, you could afford for your guests to order pizza.

“You’re most welcome,” JARVIS sounded cheery. “You also have full access to the house. I will send your code to enter the workshop to your phone. Enjoy your evening Agent Lyngley.”

I finally came to my guest room. The door was already opened for me and the lights on. It took me a moment of gaping and turning around to believe what I was seeing. If this was a guest room, I’d hate to see what the normal bedrooms looked like. My guest room resembled more of a luxury hotel room. I gleefully spent a few minute poking around the massive room. I couldn’t decide whether the king sized bed or the sunken bathtub was calling my name more. After 2 weeks of showering in a cubicle I could barely move in, I went for the bathtub. I grabbed my phone and stripped off while I walked to the bathroom, waiting for my phone to boot up.

I got the tub running as my phone finally turned on. Damn iPhones could be so slow sometimes. I was thankful it was still on silent as the barrage of text messages started coming through. There was a never ending stream of them, my phone constantly vibrating for nearly a minute before it all stopped. The bathtub filled up at a ridiculously quick rate unlike the one at home.

There was the usual junk group messages from SHIELD. I deleted all of them straight away as I sunk into the bath. I’d dumped a ridiculous amount of shower gel in here so the tub was half full of bubbles. I sighed in contented bliss. The stress and strain of the last 2 weeks melting away in the warm water. It was so good being back in civilisation. As painful as Stark was going to be, at least I could be irritated at him in relative comfort.

I lay back enjoying the water as I went through my text messages. Most had been sent on the day or a few days after I’d left. The few constant ones were from Greg. He’d sent a text every day, some days even twice. There was one 4 days after I’d left that made me smile.

_It must suck not having your phone on this mission. I have no idea how long you’ll be gone, but I have to admit, I miss our conversations. I thought we might grab sushi for lunch when you get back? A few people at work have been raving about this place called Sushi Taro._

Despite the big greasy meal I had not too long ago, my stomach growled at the thought of sushi. That particular restaurant was really, really good. It was right up there as one of my favourites places to eat out, along with HeeBeen.

I decided to bite the bullet and send Greg a text before reading the rest of his messages.

_So, I’m back stateside. Bad news, not in DC for the moment. But I have my phone back. I’ve missed technology so much. Sushi Taro sounds awesome by the way. Not sure how long it’ll be before I get back to DC._

I hit send and went back to scrolling through the messages. I was halfway through reading another text from Greg about his change of rotations to the emergency department when my phone rang. Greg’s ID came up, I answered it straight away.

“Hey stranger,” I said, feeling a smile creep onto my face. “Long time no hear from.”

“I wasn’t the one who left the civilised world,” Greg chuckled in reply. “How does it feel to be back somewhere that has things like running water and electricity?”

“I had both of them,” I said, trying not to laugh. “Just no phone and internet. What are you doing up so late?”

It was nearly midnight here, so it’d be nearly 0300 in DC. Greg was a night owl, so it was a pretty stupid question to ask. He was probably on a break at work knowing his hours. He seemed to always be on late afternoon or night shift.

“Studying,” the disgust was very evident in Greg’s voice. “Trying to anyway. I keep getting distracted by YouTube and now I’m procrastinating even more by talking to you.”

“I should hang up and make you get back to it.” This time I did laugh. Greg had his entrances exams for the orthopaedic surgeon residency coming up in a few months. The amount of study he did was nearly a full time job in itself. “Are you sure it was YouTube and not RedTube?”

“Funny,” the sarcasm dripped from Greg’s voice. “How do you know what RedTube is anyway?”

“Girls can like porn too.” I was glad Greg couldn’t see my face. I was trying really hard not to laugh and keep my tone serious.

“God, why did I even ask?” Greg laughed. I could picture him shaking his head at me. “So how was whatever you were doing?”

“Crappy,” I replied, wrinkling my nose. “I can’t talk about it either. How’s your rotation in the emergency department going?”

“Crappy,” Greg echoed my statement. “I hate it. I really want it to be over already.”

There was a definite change of pitch in his voice in the second part of his sentence.

“Wanna talk about it?” I asked gently. Laura came home and locked herself in the shower for a good cry after some shifts. It could be an emotionally draining place to work.

“It’s silly,” Greg said, blowing out a long breath. “I’ve seen patients die before, told next of kin and everything. But in the emergency room its different, just so sudden. There was a little girl who’d been resuscitated after being found face down in the pool. She was sitting up and laughing at me when I examined her. 5 minutes later she coded and we couldn’t bring her back.”

How different our lives really are. I was sitting out in the middle of the desert watching someone being pushed to the edges of his mortality, all for a name. Greg was back here watching a little girl die through no fault of his own. I wanted to reach through the phone and give him a hug.

“Its easier in places like the ICU,” Greg continued. He sounded very tired all of a sudden, like the weight of the world dropped on his shoulders. “The families know about the chances, they even expect it in some cases. But the emergency room is someone having the worst day of their lives and no one is ever prepared for the news that their loved one isn’t coming back.”

“I’m sorry,” I said softly. I couldn’t think of anything else to say. “If I was there I’d give you a hug and break out a good bottle of scotch,”

“Thanks,” Greg let out a weary chuckle. There was a long pause before he spoke again. “I lied about studying. I’m actually awake because I can’t sleep.”

“Have you spoken to anyone about how you’re feeling?” I asked carefully. I was the worst person to give advice on anything like this. There were some things I pushed into the deep, dark corner of my mind where I didn’t want anything to be touched. But I at least spoke to Andrew on a very regular basis on the stuff that I couldn’t put in that corner.

“I spoke to my mum a little,” Greg sounded embarrassed. “I don’t know. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be a drag.”

“You’re allowed to have feelings and be upset about someone dying,” I said, really wanting to reach in and give him a hug now. Male doctors must have it tough. On top of the social stigma of real men not crying, there was also the bullshit the some doctors believing that it was unprofessional to show grief. Laura had big arguments at work about that after a senior doctor yelled at her for crying over losing a patient.

“I know,” Greg said, sounding like he was forcing himself to put on a happier tone. “So, can you tell me where you are?”

“Malibu.” I decided not to push the subject. But I was going to send Laura a text message as soon as we got off the phone and ask her to keep an eye on Greg for me. “Enjoying a very nice bubble bath.”

“I can almost guess what you’re doing there.” Greg’s tone sounded more genuine this time. “But I’m sure I’ll get the whole its classified thing. So, what’s the house like?”

“Huge,” I laughed a little. It didn’t take a genius to work out what I was doing here. “I swear this tub is bigger than my entire bathroom. I can fully stretch out in it.”

“What a beautiful luxury that is,” Greg said with a small sigh. He was Jared’s height, so he’d know my pain all too well. “Did you use half a bottle of shower gel for make it into a bubble bath?”

“Yes, I did,” I said a little smugly. “I can send you a picture if you’d like. But you might want to see more of whats under the bubbles. Like my red dress.”

“I saw your ass while you chased Alexi around your apartment,” Greg laughed. His laugh made me relax again. “I think my imagination can fill in the blanks now.”

“While you’re watching RedTube?” I said cheekily.

“Your ass is much nicer than most of the ones I’ve seen on RedTube,” Greg said with complete nonchalance. There was another long pause before we both burst out laughing. “I’m sorry, that was probably a little inappropriate. I’m tired, my brain isn’t working.”

“It was still funny,” I said with a smile. “And it was a very tiny towel wasn’t it?”

“Yes, it was,” Greg chuckled. “This is probably a stupid question, but do you have any idea how long you’ll be there?”

“Not a clue.” I shifted in the tub, letting the water splash around. “You probably know more about what happened than I do to be honest. I only stepped off the plane half an hour ago and I’m a little hungover.”

“Yeah it’s been quite the buzz.” The phone rustled as Greg sounded like he was shifting around. “Wanna bring me back an awesome souvenir from Stark’s house?”

“I don’t think the tub will fit in my suitcase.”

And just like that, our conversations were back to the usual talking about nothing and everything at the same time. The bubbles had long disappeared by the time I decided I really needed some sleep and got off the phone with Greg. As I made my way to the spacious bed I sent a few messages out to the people who’d want to know I was back stateside before falling into bed. I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

Something poking my side dragged me back to the land of awake far too quickly. I grunted, swatting at the offending object. My hand met empty air, much to my irritation.

“Don’t be like that, you’ll spill your coffee,” Coulson’s voice scolded me.

Reluctantly, I opened my eyes and rolled over to face where his voice had come from. Coulson was standing on the side of my bed, holding out a coffee mug. The sun was streaming through the huge windows, giving me a beautiful view of the beach.

“Good afternoon Sleeping Beauty,” Coulson said dryly, though he was smiling. “Time to rise and shine otherwise you’ll be awake all night.”

“I just went to sleep,” I groaned, reaching out for the coffee cup. Coulson had it just out of reach of my wriggling fingers. “It can’t be afternoon.”

“The time is 1423,” JARVIS’ voice informed me. “You’ve been asleep since 0215.”

“Traitor,” I muttered, rubbing my eyes tiredly. My body was not happy about the jet lag.

“Come on,” Coulson urged, holding the coffee cup within reach again. “Have some breakfast and you can give me a quick debrief about your time in Egypt. After that you can go lie on the beach for a few hours.”

“Wow, tough gig this one,” I muttered, stretching my arms above my head. I was glad I’d thrown on an old shirt and boxers before climbing into bed. I took the coffee off Coulson, taking a small sip. The rich bend was definitely something I’d never had before. But it was incredible. I was going to have to raid Stark’s coffee supply before we went home.

“Yeah, the worst,” Coulson said sarcastically. “What do you want for breakfast?”

“Pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs,” I quickly rattled off. “More coffee. Anything but pasta. That’s about the only thing Rumlow can cook.”

“At least he makes good pasta,” Coulson chuckled. He grabbed the blankets covering my legs and yanked them off. “Lets go.”

I grunted in annoyance, but got up anyway. Coulson would probably have JARVIS do something like make the bed explode if I stayed in it. I went to the bathroom and wandered out of my room in what I hoped to be the direction of the kitchen.

“Other way towards the guest kitchen Agent Lyngley,” JARVIS quickly corrected me after one step.

“You’re very handy JARVIS,” I said, glancing up to the ceiling. Maybe Dad would help me create an AI for my apartment. But knowing my luck, it’d turn out like a bad horror movie. The AI would come to life and go on a murdering rampage.

“I know, Miss Potts often says that Mr Stark would not be able to function without me,” the sass dripping from JARVIS’s robotic voice made me laugh.

By the time I walked into the kitchen, Coulson already had everything on. I poured myself another cup of coffee from the pot and plonked my ass down on the table.

“Off,” Coulson commanded, not turning around to see what I was doing. I rolled my eyes and obediently sat in a chair instead. I swear he had eyes in the back of his head. “You’re getting more like Barton and Romanoff every day.”

“Aren’t you proud?” I asked sweetly.

“Not of your bad habits,” Coulson said dryly. “Of everything else, I am. So tell me about your first T&I?”

It took me a second to realise Coulson meant torture and interrogation. I wrinkled my nose and half shrugged. There wasn’t much I could say about it.

“Not something I really want to repeat in a hurry,” I said honestly. “I didn’t throw up though, or faint.”

“It probably wasn’t your best introduction to it.” Coulson looked over his shoulder briefly at me. “Brock is one of the best, but his methods are brutal. Which is why SHIELD needs to send him to places where the Geneva Convention doesn’t touch. He said you did well though, so that’s good enough for me.”

That was probably the highest praise I could ever get from Rumlow. He wasn’t one for dishing out compliments.

“The other agent there didn’t like me.” I felt childish saying it, but Coulson deserved to know every detail. No matter how minor it was. “He thought it was Jared coming in, but he was still an asshole to me.”

“Jared has that unfortunate effect on people,” Coulson said, shaking his head. “I think there’s some history there, so don’t take it too personally.”

“I didn’t.” I shrugged again. “He’s not the first guy to be an asshole to me.”

At least I was well liked within STRIKE. I didn’t really care about anyone outside of my work circle.

“Still, we’re not in high school,” Coulson said, sounding slightly exasperated. “I get sick of the bullshit that goes on between STRIKE and Specialists. It’s all done and over with now. What have you heard about everything happening with Stark?”

“Only whats on the news and in the papers. Most of the rumours are he’s just being the alcoholic idiot everyone already pegged him for.”

“Not quite.” Coulson shook his head. “In that file on the table has everything going on.”

I hadn’t noticed the thigh folder in the middle of the table. I’d been too busy enjoying my coffee to really pay attention to anything beyond the mug in my hands and Coulson. Curious, I reached over and dragged it in front of me. I flicked it open and started skimming over the numerous reports.

Stark had been a busy boy over the last few months. He’d given away a lot of his private collections to various charities. While I was away Pepper had been made CEO of Stark Industries While I heartily approved of that decision, it’d come out of nowhere. From Personal Assistant to CEO was a huge leap. It would have pissed a lot of people off.

The guy with whips who attacked Stark in Monaco was Ivan Vanko. His father, Anton Vanko had worked with Howard Stark before it was found out he was selling classified information. He was tried for treason and deported back to Russia.

“Someone carried a grudge for a long time,” I murmured, flipping through Ivan’s file. He was a few different kinds of crazy. Though after being in Kopeisk prison for 15 years, I guess I’d be pretty pissed too. He was currently presumed dead after an explosion in his prison cell after attacking Stark in Monaco. SHIELD believed otherwise and had eyes and ears out for him everywhere. But so far, no luck in finding any trace of him.

The next problem was Stark’s arc reactor in his chest. The palladium used to power it was slowly killing him. That’s what Coulson and I were here for. To keep an eye on Stark while he figured out a way to replace what was keeping him alive but also killing him at the same time.

“Well this is all kinds of fucked up, isn’t it boss?” I closed the file as Coulson slid a plate full of my requested breakfast in front of me. The smell of bacon and pancakes made my mouth water. “Where’s everyone else?”

“Nat is still keeping cover at Stark Industries,” Coulson said, sitting down across from me. I started to shovel the food into my mouth, feeling like I hadn’t eaten in days. “Barton is in New Mexico keeping an eye on some things of concern happening there.”

“Like?” I asked around a mouthful of bacon.

“Have you heard of Dr Jane Foster?” Coulson gave me the stink eye for talking with my mouthful, but didn’t comment on it. I nodded, swallowing the salty bacon and chasing it down with a big mouthful of coffee. Dr Foster was working on astronomical anomalies, mainly the theoretical Einstien-Rosen Bridge. Or not so theoretical since that’s basically how Jared teleported. Dad had spoken about her a few times about how good her work was and how close she actually was to finding unclassified solid proof of its existence.

“There’s been some very interesting activity in Puente Antiguo which Dr Foster has gone to monitor,” Coulson explained. “In return, we’re monitoring her findings.”

“Sucks to be Barton,” I snickered between mouthfuls of food. “Any chance I can sneak in and see Nat?”

Coulson was already shaking his head before I could finish my question. I squashed down my disappointment quickly. I knew it might be the answer, but dammit I missed Natasha so much.

“She still needs to maintain cover,” Coulson said gently. “But on the bright side, the sooner this is over the quicker you girls can get back together and do whatever it is you do in your spare time.”

Drink, shop and gossip usually. Natasha and I weren’t very different from many females out there. People were often amazed at how girly we could actually be. In this job, holding onto your feminine side was important. Just because I got treated like ‘one of the boys’ didn’t mean I had to act like one.

It wasn’t just Natasha I was keen to get back to. I missed everyone back in DC. It was hard having so many ties to people and having to drop off the face of the planet on such short notice. I wondered how Alexi and William were both doing. Cooper would be back at school now and Lila starting kindergarten. Jared should have a clear answer on what was going on with his ankle now. I had a lot of catching up to do.

I suppose lazing on the beach, attempting to work on a tan was a good way to catch up with everyone. I wasn’t going to argue with Coulson if he was going to let me lie around on my phone for a few hours. I finished my breakfast with a thanks to Coulson and went back to my room to get changed. I had no idea who would have packed my bag, but there was one of my skimpier bikini’s in there. I threw it on, grabbed a towel, phone and sunglasses then with a few directions from JARVIS, headed off for a lazy afternoon.

Stark owned the stretch of beach in front of his house for a mile in both directions, so there wasn’t a soul in sight to disturb me. It was a beautiful day, warm at 84F but the wind blowing off the ocean cooling it off considerably. I found a patch of sand, threw my towel down on the warm sand and went for a quick dip in the ocean. It was satisfyingly chilly walking up to my chest, letting the waves crash over my body. It didn’t take long for it to get too cold and for me to head to the warmth of the sand and sun. I flopped down onto my towel, stomach down. Reaching behind me, I undid the ties of the bikini to avoid getting some hellish tan lines. It was strangely freeing being able to lie on the beach half naked, even though no one would see anything with me being face down. I casually starting to flick through all the messages I’d gotten in return last night from the people I let know I was back.

Jared was the first message I read. The wall of text he sent was enough to keep me going for a few minutes. He had another operation on his ankle last week to adjust some of the screws and plates holding it all together. He was feeling a lot better nearly straight away, even with the swelling and pain from being operated on again. He was staying in New York for at least another 8 weeks to start some intensive physical therapy to get motion back in the ankle. My heart sank a little reading how long he’d be away. I’d gotten used to him being around all the time. The apartment would feel empty without him. Then again, I could be gone for that long as well. There was no telling how long this would all take.

Abby sent me some cute pictures and video of Alexi during her swimming lessons and newly started gymnastic lessons. Her adorable smile made me melt when Abby asked her to wave to Kari. I missed her and her little potty mouth so much. I never thought I’d take to playing aunty like I had with Alexi and Clint’s kids. I didn’t even like my own cousins as much as Alexi, Lila and Cooper. Laura had sent through some video of Lila at her ballet lessons as well, making me miss all of the kids in my life.

Clint was bored in New Mexico and had sent me a ton of texts, mostly babbling about how unexciting his day was. I rolled over and snapped a shot of the beach and ocean with my feet in the view as well to be a tease. On a whim, I sent the same photo to Greg complaining about how hard I was working. It should be enough to make him smile, or swear at me. I hoped it’d be a smile after his shitty night last night.

After replying to everyone, I put my phone down and laid my head in my arms. The sun felt so good on my back. It wasn’t hard to let my eyes drift shut. It was peaceful out here. There was nothing but the waves crashing against the sand and the occasional bird to disturb the silence. The salty air felt fresh and clean, despite being so close to the city. I felt like I could finally breath again after the last 2 weeks. The last lingering bits of stress melting away as the sun warmed my back. It wasn’t hard to be lulled into falling asleep again.

I woke up with a jump as my phone vibrated loudly right next to my face. A second later JARVIS’ voice came over the speaker.

“Agent Lyngley, Agent Coulson asked me to inform you to either turn over so both sides of you are well cooked or come back inside. You appear to be a little sunburnt.”

Only Tony Stark could program a sassy AI. But as I woke up properly, I found he wasn’t wrong. I could feel the sunburn on my back as soon as I moved. Groggily, I fumbled for my phone, squinting at the screen as I looked at the time. It was nearly 1700. I’d fallen asleep for a few hours out here. I winced again as I reached around to tie my bikini back up. I could feel the burn on the back of my body even with the smallest of movements. The heat coming off my skin was incredible. That would teach me for lying out here in the sun with no sunscreen on. I wasn’t made to be tanned. My shoulders were an angry red, even the skimpy strap of the bikini made the stinging skin hurt. I’m sure my back and legs didn’t look much better. I slowly got up and brushed the sand off me before heading back.

I walked gingerly back up to the house, trying to avoid as much movement as possible. To make my walk of shame worse, my leg had stiffened up leaving me limping. As I walked, I sent a slightly pitiful text off to Greg.

_I forgot sunscreen while lying on the beach. Help?_

The messages had accumulated again during my sleep, so I flicked through them as I walked. Abby and Evans had both bombarded me with Alexi and William pictures. I’d gotten a picture of Clint’s middle finger back in response to my beach photo. Jared was complaining about shopping with Mom. I laughed at that message. Mom was a pretty hardcore shopper when she wanted to be. Poor Jared was just in the firing line instead of me this time. Jared was a complete brand whore. No doubt there’d be arguments with Mom who was more of a bargain shopper about the money he spent on things. Natasha sent me a text complaining about the amount of work she was snowed under with. The only person who hadn’t replied to my earlier text was Greg.

It felt like an eternity before I made it back to the mansion. As I stepped into the side entrance, a voice I’d never heard in person greeted me.

“Wow Coulson, thanks for the stripper. Usually they wear more clothes at the start though. But I’ll take what I can get at the moment.”

My head snapped up from my phone to see the one and only Tony Stark standing there staring at me. It was odd how utterly normal he looked in a grease stained AC/DC shirt and jeans that had seen better days. His normally immaculate maintained goatee was unkept and he looked like he hadn’t had a shower or shave in days. But the trademark cocky grin on his face was defiantly the man I’d seen parading through the news for the last few months. Straight away I wanted to smack the smug look off his face. Talk about getting off on the wrong foot. I’d never had someone rub me the wrong way so damn quickly before. Even Rollins when I first met him hadn’t been such a dick.

“This is Agent Lyngley,” Coulson quickly spoke up before I could say anything. “She’s here to watch you when I’m not around. Keep in mind that she’s Natasha’s protégée so I would be careful about what you say next.”

I pushed my glee down at Coulson’s quick retort back to Stark, instead by plastering the best resting bitch face I could manage. Tony wasn’t deterred at all. He very openly looked me up and down with an amused look on his face. It was almost like he was challenging me to punch him in the face.

“You SHIELD people need to find someone who’s first name isn’t agent,” Tony said with a roll of his eyes after he finished ogling me. “Want to go get me some coffee and donuts from Randy’s hot stuff?”

“No,” I said shortly. “JARVIS already told me you can get everything delivered here, so order it yourself.”

Coulson looked very pleased with my quick answer. He quickly wiped a hand over his face to smooth out the grin that had appeared. I wondered if Tony had tried to pull the same shit with Coulson when he got here. If he did, I wanted to know whatever it was Coulson threatened him with.

“Traitor,” Tony muttered, his gaze shifting to the ceiling to glare. “Fine, you know the order JARVIS and whatever Miss Agent Itty Bitty Bikini wants too.”

“Vanilla latte and whatever has the most chocolate on it,” I ignored Tony’s comment about my bikini. If he was buying coffee I could be civil long enough to get my order in. “Make it half a dozen of them actually.”

“You won’t keep that figure for long if you eat all of them,” Tony muttered under his breath just loud enough for me to hear. I chose to ignore him, sticking my head back in my phone instead as I brushed past him. Fuck this, I was going to go immerse myself in a cold shower to stop my back feeling like it was on fire.

“Aloe Vera is in your bathroom,” Tony informed me as I walked out. “Want me to come and rub it all over you?”

“I’d rather chew my own arm off,” I said snidely, not bothering to turn back. 2 minutes into our introduction and I’d already had enough of Tony Stark to last me a lifetime. I don’t know how I was going to deal with him if we had to be here for a week or longer. Natasha might be called to help me hide his body.

“Still wouldn’t turn me off,” Tony called after me. I flipped him off and kept walking. He really didn’t need any encouragement. Not that I’d want to encourage him, I liked my men tall and buff. He definitely wasn’t either of those things. My phone vibrated as Greg finally replied.

_How badly sunburnt are you? Are we talking rare or well done?_

I pulled a face at the smart ass reply. I’d say well done, but then my back also looked as red as I liked my steak. There was only one way to really show Greg how bad it was. I waited until I got back into my room and found the mirror. I took my bikini top off and slid the bottoms down just enough to expose an inch of unburnt skin on top of my ass. After a bit of fiddling I managed to get a decent enough photo and sent it to Greg.

_I’m this sunburnt._

Greg didn’t disappoint. I had a reply back just before I was about to jump in the shower.

_Jesus Kari. That’s not sunburn, that’s cooking yourself. The doctor in me says you should probably go get that checked out and get some lidocaine spray. But coconut oil and then aloe vera will work because I know you won’t go to a doctor unless you’re missing a limb or at death’s door._

I laughed at his answer. He wasn’t wrong there. I’d have to see if I could find a car and head into town to find coconut oil after I had a shower. I’m sure I could get it delivered but I didn’t want to wait around for it. Maybe some lidocaine spray wasn’t a stupid idea either, even if it was just over the counter stuff.

I jumped in the shower, making it as cold as I could handle. My teeth were chattering after a minute, but it felt so good on my sunburn. It wasn’t until my toes started looking a little blue that I reluctantly dragged myself out of the shower. I didn’t bother with a towel, I drip dried as I went through the bathroom cup boards trying to find the promised aloe vera. When my search turned up empty, I frowned up at the ceiling.

“Hey JARVIS?” I asked. “Where’s the aloe vera that Tony said was in here?”

“There appears to be some on your bedside table,” JARVIS responded instantly. “Along with your coffee and donut order.”

“Thanks.”

Why I didn’t think of asking JARVIS in the first place was beyond me. I could really be a dumb blonde at times. I walked out to the bedroom and found the promised products, along with a jar of organic coconut oil. Coulson must have gotten onto Google and found some in the house for me. I eagerly grabbed both of the products and began slathering them on my back. Thank god for my good flexibility. I could reach every inch of my own back with some minor contortionist positions. The relief was instant. I’d definitely have to find a good bootle of scotch for Coulson for finding the coconut oil so quickly.

I sipped my latte and scoffed down 2 donuts while getting dressed. The massive TV was calling for me. Stark better have the best cable service I’d ever seen or I was going to be bitterly disappointed. Coulson was nowhere to be found, so I plonked myself down in front of the TV and started channel surfing. Before I could get too far, the home movie library popped up onto the screen. With a shrug, I opened it and started scrolling. At least Stark didn’t disappoint in his home movie collection. The extensive library gave me far too many choices, but I settled on watching Labyrinth. There was nothing quite like the cheesy 80’s movies for a good laugh. I finished the last of my donuts while trying to keep my hysterical laughter down at the sight of David Bowie prancing around in skin tight pants that left nothing to the imagination. Once Labyrinth was over, my mood swung to bloody and gory. Inglorious Bastards popped up on the screen and I happily hit play. Coulson, Clint, Natasha and I all loved this movie. I’d seen it at least a dozen times already and could watch it over and over again.

I was so wrapped up in the movie I didn’t notice Coulson coming in halfway through the movie. It wasn’t until he spoke that I nearly fell off the couch in surprise, quickly pausing the movie with a sheepish grin.

“Did you have dinner?” Coulson asked, eyeing off my now empty donut box.

“Nope.” I sat up, wincing at the burn was felt in my back again. I needed to go put another layer of coconut oil and aloe vera on before it got too bad. That quickly reminded me of what Coulson had done earlier. “Thanks for the coconut oil earlier. Greg suggested it and it worked magic.”

The look of confusion across Coulson’s face made my stomach drop. I had a terrible feeling about where this was going.

“I left right after you went for a shower,” Coulson said, looking like he was picking his words very carefully. “And I only just got back.”

If Stark was readying my text messages somehow, I was going to kill him. The look on Coulson’s face nearly confirmed my suspicion. But there was one other person I needed to ask. Well, AI.

“JARVIS?” I asked through gritted teeth. “Did Tony somehow get into my phone and read my text messages?”

The silence from above felt like it stretched out for an hour. JARVIS finally replied in what could only be described as a sheepish tone.

“Sir asked for full access to your laptop and cell phone.” JARVIS paused again. If he was a person I could just imagine the nervous fidgeting that would be going on. “He may have taken your Doctor friend’s advice and found Miss Potts supply of organic coconut oil for your use.”

I was up and off the couch before JARVIS finished speaking. Tony Stark was a dead man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for the long wait between these chapters! Real life is kicking my ass at the moment. This whole being a responsible adult thing can get really overrated. But I'm getting more settled into my new routine and making more time for writing.
> 
> Thank you so much for all the comments and kudos! I get so excited when I get both of them.


	54. Chapter 54

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments and kudos on the last chapter! I'm sorry if I don't get around to replying to everyone. Real life just gets in the way sometimes. As always, thanks so much for reading. Comments and Kudos make my day

Running through the house made me realise how fucking big the Stark mansion really was. It also made me realise how much quicker I was than Coulson. I was down the stairs and punching the keypad to the workshop so hard I was sure I was going to break it. Locking the door behind me, I turned around the massive room to try and find Tony. He wasn't hard to find.

What I definitely wasn’t expecting, was him sitting in front of several really large screens idling flicking through a file with my photo on it. My old USAF ID photo. My anger quickly grew. Not only was he snooping through my phone, he was now going through my files.

“Did you know SHIELD has your file locked up tighter than a nun’s virtue?” Tony said, his tone light and joking. He didn’t even bother to turn around to face me. “Your old USAF record was very easy to find though. Why it hasn’t been deleted it beyond me. Your boyfriend was easy to find too.”

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” I said through gritted teeth. “Why the fuck are you going through my phone and files?”

“Curiosity,” Tony said like it was the simplest thing in the world. “Nice shot of your ass by the way, especially to someone who isn’t your boyfriend. Is he gay? He’d have to be to not make a move on you.”

I started to grind my teeth as I took a step closer towards Tony. He didn’t look too tough. I could probably whip his ass quite easily. Coulson wouldn’t mind a little maiming, he might even approve of it.

“Huh, look at that. Your not boyfriend was an Army medic,” Tony continued like he didn’t care he was about to get an ass whooping. “Decorated too. Must have seen some action.”

That made me falter. Instead of getting Tony in a choke hold, my head snapped to the screen he was currently looking at. On it was a photo of Greg in the same standard issue terrible military ID photo that I had, except in an army uniform. Private First Class Gregory Lawrence Anderson of 68W, the US Army Combat Medic unit. Funny how that had never come up in conversation. Part of me wanted to go looking through his record, but then I quickly reminded myself why I was here.

“Stark I swear I will beat your ass if you don’t get out of my phone and files right now,” I managed to get out through my gritted teeth.

“I’m curious about why SHIELD has your files so tightly sealed up,” Tony asked, turning around to face me. “And why a fighter pilot decided to join SHIELD completely out of the blue. You know, I think I heard Rhodey mention you a few times. And the word mutant might have gotten thrown around with your name too. So what’s your power hot stuff? The ability to eat whatever you want and still look thin?”

“None of your fucking business.” 2 minutes and my patience was already gone. Though a small part of me wouldn’t mind freezing the screen that had all of my information on it. The paper thin computer monitors looked top of line and incredibly expensive. But then I’d give into his demands on actually showing off my powers.

“That’s an interesting one,” Tony said with his infuriating smirk he did so well. “Maybe it's the ability to not be that great at undercover. Cuz I’m guessing that was your brother and he's really not an arms dealer otherwise SHIELD would be very unhappy about that.”

Fuck me, that felt like a life time ago when Jared and I did that night of undercover work in Vegas. Before I could snarl off a reply, the door to the workshop swung open despite me locking it and Coulson came walking over. Unlike me, he looked very calm and not at all surprised about Tony’s current snooping.

“Please don’t go through Kari’s phone,” Coulson said with all the patience in the world. “The threat of tasing you and watching SuperNanny while you drool into the carpet still applies when you’re annoying my agent.”

“I just like to know who I’m working with,” Tony replied with a shrug. My files on the screen quickly disappeared with an unseen movement from Tony. “God, you’re no fun Agent.”

“And you’re meant to be working on a very big problem you currently have.” Coulson didn’t rise to the bait. I suppose after having a teenage Clint in the house, not much would rattle Coulson these days. “Not annoying my helper. Like I said before, she’s Natasha’s protege and just came off 2 weeks of learning to torture someone. I have no problems with her maiming you a little if it keeps you on task.”

I knew Coulson wouldn’t have a problem with me maiming.I covered my glee as best I could but I could still feel a little smirk tugging at the corner of my lips. It’d serve Tony right too if I smacked him in the face. I’d never know someone to be so infuriating.

“Pfft, whatever,” Tony rolled his eyes and opened up a new screen. “Maybe you can make her help me. Someone with a near perfect SAT score and who gets into both Cal Tech and MIT for aerospace engineering has at least half a brain.”

The man had done his digging, I had to give him a little bit of credit for that.

“Not a chance.” I refused to be standing here any longer than I needed to. “I’m going to bed.”

With my declaration, I turned on my heel and stormed out of the room. As I opened the door, Tony’s voice called out to me.

“You’re welcome for the coconut oil.”

If I wasn’t so annoyed, I may have felt a little guilty. He had done a nice thing getting the coconut oil for me. But the way he went about it was completely the wrong way. I stormed through the mansion and slammed the door to my guest room. I was tired and tomorrow would hopefully be a new day. I didn’t bother to check my phone, I flopped down onto the bed face first and pulled the pillow over my head. It didn’t take long for me to pass out again and not wake up until the sun was starting to peek over the horizon.

I groggily dragged myself back out of bed and went to the bathroom. The sunburn on my body ached terribly this morning. I could barely move because the skin felt so tight. It took me far longer than it should to get the aloe vera and coconut oil on. A little part of me wanted to throw the coconut oil out due to Tony’s snooping. But it helped, a lot more than I would ever admit to him. Once I was dressed, I stumbled out to the kitchen in desperate need of a caffeine hit.

Coulson was nowhere to be found, which wasn’t surprising for the early hour. I stared at the coffee machine, willing it to work without me having to touch anything. Unfortunately, telekinesis wasn’t my power and I had to use my hands for the machine to work. It didn’t take long to get a cup brewed and it was gone before the machine finished doing my second one. This one I savoured, as I went over to the table to read through my phone. I hovered over the unread text from Greg from late last night, my mind going to what I saw in Tony’s lab.

Greg was a mystery to me in so many ways. I really had no idea why we had this strange little friendship going. Beyond those few drunken messages, he’d never shown any type of attraction towards me. But there was something I couldn’t put my finger on. I sighed into my coffee cup. It was too early for deep thoughts. I was over thinking shit as usual. What went on in Greg’s past was none of my business. If he’d seen action, there was probably a very good reason he’s never brought it up. There was plenty of stuff Riley never brought up from his time as a SEAL and I never dug into it either. Thinking about Riley brought the familiar stab of pain that I was so used to these days. It made me wonder if there would ever be a time when I didn’t miss him. There were still some days where I missed him so much it made my heart ache. I put my head into my hand, rubbing my temples wearily. It was too early and I was still way too jet lagged to have my brain run away on me. Especially on the Riley train of thought.

It took another 2 cups of coffee, banana and apple to get me up and moving. I forced myself back into my room and got dressed for a run. It was the last thing I wanted to do right now, but I needed to get my body back into some sort of routine after the last 2 weeks of none at all. A morning run would probably do my brain the world of good too.

The mansion was quiet as I walked out after getting dressed. Not even JARVIS disturbed me as I stepped out into the fresh morning breeze. The salty air perked me up considerably but the sand kicking into my shoes quickly drove me insane. I kicked them off, wandering to the edge of the waves, staying far away enough that the sand was still damp but I wasn’t getting wet. It was still a struggle to pick up even a slow jog, but I pushed myself to keep going. The first few minutes were torture. My body struggled at the slow pace, I could feel every muscle in my legs burn from the exertion. No matter how many deep breaths I took, I felt like I couldn’t get my breath properly. But I pushed on. It hurt so badly but I finally hit through the barrier and it became a little easier. I ran until my muscles wouldn’t cooperate any longer. Then I turned around and enjoyed wading through ankle deep water back to the mansion. I’d be sore tomorrow, but I felt a little bit better.

I went back to the guest kitchen and took the bottle of orange juice out of the fridge, downing half the contents in a few thirsty swallows. I found some bread and my favourite type of peanut butter in the fridge, so that went in the toaster while I was finishing off the gallon of orange juice. I knew I should drink some water, but the fresh squeezed orange juice was pure heaven in my mouth.

“Agent Lyngley.” JARVIS’ voice startled me. The orange juice nearly came out of my nose at the surprise of hearing him. “I’m sorry to make you choke on your juice, but Agent Coulson asked me to pass on the message that he would be busy in the lab all day with Mr Stark. He suggested you head into Malibu and enjoy the free day.”

Another free day all to myself. I must be in the good books in a big way with Coulson. Last time we’d been here it’d been so busy I didn’t get a chance to enjoy any time for shopping. I may as well make use of the time while I had it.

“Thanks JARVIS,” I smiled up at the ceiling. That was an unexpected surprise. “Any suggestions on where to go?”

“Miss Potts has standing reservations for whenever she needs it Westlake Village Day Spa,” JARVIS’ reply was nearly instant. “I can book you in if you’d like. There are numerous shopping boutiques near by for you to enjoy after your relax at the spa.”

A nagging feeling came into the back of my mind that this had already been planned for me. But it could also be JARVIS being helpful. I’d experienced Pepper’s high roller lifestyle last time we were out here. She was very fond of the nice things in life and a day spa like JARVIS suggested wouldn’t be out of character for her at all.

“Sounds great.” I gave in pretty quickly, pushing the nagging feeling away. I deserved something nice after having to watch someone getting tortured for 2 weeks. The toast popped, startling me once again. I rolled my eyes at my own stupidity, grabbing the peanut butter and smothering it on ridiculously thick. “Can I get a cab in about an hour to go then?”

“A car will be waiting for you when you are ready to leave,” JARVIS almost sounded offended that I would ever consider calling a cab. “The booking has been made and confirmed. All your services will be going on Mr Stark’s account so please feel free to enjoy anything you want.”

Another twinge of nagging doubt hit me hard. Why did I get the horrible feeling I was being shoved out of the house for some reason? Again, I pushed it away as I shoved my toast in my mouth. Coulson always had his reasons. Most of the time he wouldn’t share those reasons so there was no point asking. I finished my toast and threw down a protein shake before heading back to my room for a shower and another coating of aloe vera and coconut oil since I sweated most of it off. It didn’t take long to get dressed and heading out the door. As promised, JARVIS had a sleek black Bentley waiting out from for me, complete with a man in a suit probably worth more than I made in a year.

“Good morning Agent Lyngley,” the man addressed me promptly. He opened the back door of the expensive black car, revealing a crisp cream interior. “I’m Archie, your driver for today. Please get in and make yourself comfortable.”

I could get used to this life very easily. I smiled and thanked him, sliding into the leather backseat. I felt very underdressed in my light blue floral sundress and sandals. This was the kind of car you’d rock up to a red carpet event, with an evening gown on. Not something I’d thrown on because it was backless and not going to sit on my sunburn too much. But I was grateful to whoever packed my bag. I at least had a lot of choices to wear out today.

The car had a selection of fruit and bottles of water waiting for me. I happily picked up another apple and sunk my teeth into the red flesh. At least my appetite was good today. The thought of food made me have an interesting idea. I pulled out my phone and scrolled through until I found my last text from Pepper. It was 0730 now, she would have been out of bed for hours now.

_I’m in town, wanna catch up for lunch?_

I smiled as the message came up as read nearly straight away. It was no surprise that Pepper’s phone was glued to her hands, especially being CEO now.

_YES! I haven’t heard from you in WEEKS! Marchello’s at 12pm. Are you staying with Coulson at the mansion giving Tony his ass kicking? Not that I’m meant to know about that. I’ll send Happy around to pick you up._

I laughed at the quick reply I got. Pepper was amazing. I wasn’t surprised she knew SHIELD was involved in Tony’s latest disaster. She had a knack for knowing everything that went on around her. It was a nice friendship we’d formed over our forced time together. I was really looking forward to seeing her again. Maybe, just maybe, I’d get a glance of Natasha as well.

I’m heading out to do some shopping this morning, so I have a car and driver thanks to JARVIS. He sounded very offended when I said I’d take a cab. I’ll see you there.

The message came up as read straight away again, but I didn’t get a reply. No doubt she’d be neck deep in CEO stuff until lunchtime now. I stuck my nose in my phone, eating my apple and started replying to my messages that came in overnight. I was halfway through replying when my phone started to ring. Evans’ name flashed up on the screen half a second later.

“Hi,” I answered instantly. It was so rare for Evans to ring me, my mind instantly jumped to something terrible had happened.

“Kari!” Alexi’s high pitched toddler voice greeted me instead of Evans. “Kari, Kari, Kari! Missed you!”

“Hey Munchkin,” I laughed, feeling my heart rate go back to normal. Cheeky girl must have gotten her dad’s phone somehow. “Where’s Dad?” 

 “Sleeping,” Alexi said proudly, making a little snoring noise. I snorted, picturing her putting her head on her hands and pretending to sleep. It was 0430 in DC. Poor Evans probably fell asleep in her room while trying to get her back to bed. “Come home soon?”

Alexi’s speaking was really coming along in leaps and bounds. Even after 2 weeks she was sounding more articulate than before. She was going to be a smart kid. Especially if she just figured out how to get into her Dad’s phone and call me. Then again, I’m pretty sure Evans had a photo of me attached to my contact details. All Alexi would have to do was look for my face.

“I’ll be home soon, I promise,” I said, the smile only growing wider on my face. “We’ll go to the park and get some ice cream. How does that sound?”

“Yay!” Alexi giggled, I could hear her hands clapping in the background. “No William, just Alexi.”

“I promise, just you and me,” I tried really hard not to laugh. It seems her dislike of her younger brother wasn’t getting any better. “We’ll ride on the carousel and anything else you want.”

“Swings?” Alexi asked hopefully.

“Only if you go back to bed for me now,” I said, seeing if I could bribe her into at least staying in bed for a few more hours. The rustling on the other end of the phone and barely audible little footsteps sounded like I was about to get my own way.

“Okay,” Alexi said in a sing song voice. There was more rustling and the phone sounded like it dropped before Alexi spoke again. “In bed now. Read to me?”

“What book are we reading?” I smothered back another laugh. I knew most of her books by heart now I’d read them so many times. There were a few firm favourites I could easily recite to her.

“Hungry Caterpillar!” Alexi’s voice was muffled. Of course she’d pick that one. I’d only read it to her 3000 times by now. At least I could definitely recite that one off by heart. The phone was put down again and there was a stretch of silence before Alexi came back on. “Ready now.”

“In the light of the moon a little egg lay on a leaf,” I started in a dramatic voice, causing Alexi to giggle some more. “One Sunday morning the warm sun came up and POP!”

Alexi giggled even harder at my dramatic popping the P on that word.

“Out of the egg came a tiny and very hungry caterpillar.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see my driver Archie looking back as discreetly in the rearview mirror at me, a warm smile on his face.

“I’m hungry,” I groaned in an over dramatic fashion as I heard Alexi turn the page. “He started to look for food.”

As I went through the story, Alexi’s giggles got quieter and quieter. By the last page there was no sound, except for the deep, heaving breathing of the toddler finally falling asleep.

“Night Munchkin,” I said quietly, hanging up the phone carefully. It felt like if I touched the End button too hard she might wake up again. I stared at the screen, waiting for the call back. But none came. It was perfect timing, as I hung up we pulled into the drop off zone at the day spa. I hadn’t realised it was actually at a hotel, a very, very upmarket one. I felt even more out of place right now.

“Contact the valet once your ready to leave.” Archie turned around to me with a smile on his face. “Where did you want to go after this?”

“Pepper and I have a 12 o’clock lunch date at Marchello’s,” I said, feeling awkward that I was going to be driven around. Poor guy would be bored out of his mind while I was in getting pampered and at lunch. “Is there something I can get for you?”

“No,” Archie laughed, a more genuine smile on his face this time. “But thank you for the offer. I have a really good book and with 3 kids of my own, I appreciate a few quiet hours to read. Enjoy your spa Ms Lyngley.”

“Thanks.” I didn’t feel any less awkward as I climbed out of the car. Maybe I couldn’t get used to a life like this. The spa was situation in a very upmarket hotel. Not something I could afford on a whim. I was very glad I wasn’t footing the bill for this little expedition. As soon as I walked in the door, a small Asian lady was instantly greeting me.

“Good morning Ms Lyngley, I’m Li, the day spa manager” she said in a rush, her smile looked strained but friendly enough. “We’re so happy to have a friend of Miss Potts visit us. Please follow me. We’ve cleared the morning schedule for your privacy. I have a menu of our services, please pick anything you want.”

She cast a discreet but critical eye over my body as she handed me the thick menu of services. I didn’t blame her critical eye, I certainly didn’t match someone who would be friends with Pepper Pots. I was wearing a dress I picked up from Target in a 5 star hotel.

“We also have a hairdresser service for anything you require.” Her gaze lingered on my hair which I had pulled back in a neat french braid. “Though I would like to compliment whoever does your colour normally. Thats an impressive platinum shade.”

“It’s natural.” I fought back the sigh that always came when I had to tell people that.

“Many people would kill for that shade, especially around here,” Li said, not looking the least bit embarrassed at her fumble. We came to a large set of glass doors which Li opened effortlessly. A swanky, modern looking lounge opened up to me with several doors leading into other rooms. A nearly folded up robe and slippers were waiting for me on one of the chairs. “Please, get changed and make yourself comfortable.”

Like a ninja, she was gone before I could ask anything else. I shook my head with a small chuckle to myself. This morning was turning out very interesting. I got changed like I was told, enjoying the feel of the obviously expensive robe around me and sat back down opening the service menu. I forced myself not to look at the prices and quickly settled on what I wanted. As soon as I closed the menu, Li and a team of therapists were all at my side.

“What will it be today?”

The hours passed in a blissful blur as I enjoyed my massage, facial, mani and pedi and a haircut with a scalp massage that sent me to sleep in the basin. I thought my sunburn would get in the way, but the therapists were all amazing. I barely felt it as experienced hands soothed my daily aches and stiff muscles. The day spa I’d gone to a few times with Laura had nothing on this place. The temptation to cancel lunch and stay here for the rest of the day was great, but wanting to see Pepper won in the end. With a fresh haircut, waxing up to date and the light make up the hairdresser talked me into, I actually felt good enough to step into Marchello’s without any trace of embarrassment.

What I wasn’t expecting, was Natasha to greet me at the door. I did a double take and had to squash down my glee at seeing my best friend again. She had a cool look of indifference on her face, still in her undercover role. But her green eyes were sparkling with barely contained mirth.

“Good morning Ms Lyngley, I’m Miss Potts’ assistant. If you’d like to follow me, she’s already at your table,” Natasha’s voice was a cool and professional as she looked. Her crisp business suit and heels were a different look than I was used to. She didn’t wait for an answer from me, she turned on her very nice looking green satin heels. I was pretty sure those were my heels. No wonder I couldn’t find them when I went looking for them a few weeks ago.

As we walked through the restaurant, Natasha’s hand came behind her back and she discreetly slipped a piece of paper into my hand. I pretended to look at my phone and slipped the note into my handbag without looking at it. No doubt it’d be something good for me to read after lunch. Maybe a secure line we could gossip and bitch on without anyone else knowing. I didn’t have time to ponder on it, we came to our table with Pepper sitting at it. She was on the phone, like always but hung up instantly when she saw me.

“It’s so good to see you Kari!” Pepper jumped out of her seat and pulled me into a tight hug. For a skinny person, Pepper had a very good grip.

“You too Pepper,” I smiled, hugging her back just as hard. “God it’s been forever.”

“I know.” Pepper released me, holding me at arms length. “You look great, come on lets eat. I’m starving and I’ve already ordered a bottle of champagne.”

“Dom Perignon?” I asked with a small laugh, thinking back to our last lunch. “You look great too. Very CEO like.”

Pepper looked ever inch of the power woman she really was. Gone were the neat suits that blended her into the background. Now she was dressed sharply in a skirt suit that screamed for your attention.

“Of course,” Pepper grinned back at me, sliding into her chair. I did the same and as soon as my ass hit the chair our entrees were brought out and champagne poured. I went straight from my champagne, ignoring the oysters kilpatrick for the moment. The glass paused at my lips as it hit me what happened last time after I drank this. I’d nearly thrown myself off the roof of our apartment building in the suffocating grief I felt back then. If it wasn’t for the incredible group of friends I had around me, I might have ended up doing that eventually. But here I was. Healthy and having more good days than bad. It was a long journey, but at least I was on the right track.

I caught sight of Natasha watching me discreetly from her table a few away from us. She was on her phone, but even at the glance I got of her I knew she wasn’t paying attention to it. The little tilt of her head as she watched me meant I was in for an interrogation Romanoff style once we could get together. I gulped down the champagne quickly, pushing aside the thoughts of unhappier times for later. Perhaps with a less expensive bottle of alcohol as well.

“So,” I began, picking up an oyster. They were the biggest I’d ever seen in my life. “Tell me everything. I want all the details.”

“God, where do I even start?” Pepper took a huge drink from her glass, one that was less than refined. “What have you heard?”

“Only what’s on the news.”

Pepper launched into the story of how reckless Tony had been since he’d come out of the world with his Iron Man armour. I’d heard most of it, but coming from Pepper it sounded worse. The missing piece of her puzzle was that she didn’t know the arc reactor was killing him. So Pepper assumed the worst and thought he was being the arrogant asshole he always was. I didn’t miss the subtle shift in the dynamics of their relationship though. There were definitely feelings beyond boss and assistant happening between Pepper and Tony. Neither of them would admit it, but it didn’t take a genius to see that Tony making Pepper CEO was to make sure she was looked after for the rest of her life.

We’d finished our main course and first bottle of champagne by the time Pepper’s story wrapped up.

“So what’s been happening in your life?” Pepper asked, casually sipping her drink. “Besides getting hurt and staying in hospital for ages. Can you talk about that yet?”

“No,” I grimaced a little bit. “It’s so classified. I’m sure it’ll be buried forever due to the mess we made. All I can say is Jared and I were so lucky to keep our jobs. I’m pretty sure Coulson was going to kill us both for the stunt we pulled.”

Pepper had gotten a very condensed version of what happened in Pripyat. All she knew if we were somewhere classified and nearly got ourselves blown up.

“It hasn’t all been that bad though.” I sat back against my chair feeling very stuffed. The lobster Pepper had ordered for mains was nearly too much for me to fit in. “I did a fighter jet demonstration a few weeks ago at Langley. That was a lot of fun.”

“I heard about that from Rhodey,” Pepper said with a small smile. “He was very disappointed you never called and then turned down his job offer.”

“I know he was,” I chuckled. “At least he was polite about it. As much fun as it was being back in fighter jet, I also remember how boring the day to day stuff could be. At least in SHIELD my day to day stuff keeps me busy. Like baby sitting megalomaniac billionaires.”

“You need a pay rise for baby sitting that certain megalomaniac billionaire,” Pepper snorted, picking up the champagne bottle and topping us both up. “Do you know what SHIELD are going to do with him?”

“Keep him out of the spotlight until the press dies down I’m assuming,” I lied a little while taking a drink. “I don’t know. I just do as I’m told, occasionally.”

“Well, if you need to get out of the mausoleum he calls a house, I live 5 minutes down the road in a perfectly normal sized house,” Pepper offered with a smile. “You’re more than welcome to come down for wine and nachos. I leave for New York the day after tomorrow though. I have to oversee some things happening at the Stark Expo. Please, lets talk about more normal things. How’s Alexi?”

Pepper rolled her eyes at the mention of Stark Expo. I snickered in my champagne glass. I guess I wasn’t the only one who thought it was Tony’s ego blown out of control. Talking about Alexi and her antics was always a good way to lighten up anyone’s day.

“As cheeky as ever, I had someone over the other night and she threw up all over me in front of him. I was mortified but then she also escaped from the bathroom and made me chase her around the apartment half naked.” I shook my head, feeling my cheeks go pink from embarrassment just thinking about that night. “She rang me this morning too. I had to read to her over the phone so she’d go back to bed.”

“I really hope that wasn’t a potential date,” Pepper laughed. “What a cheeky but clever girl. She sounds like a handful.”

“No, just a friend. He was one of the doctors on my ward. She’s such a handful but I love her anyway,” I laughed as well. You had to with Alexi otherwise you’d cry instead. “William is cute too. For a baby anyway.”

Not that I’d gotten to do much with my god son. Any time I went near him, Alexi demanded my attention back to her. I don’t think I’d done much beyond hold him for about a minute. I couldn’t wait to get back to DC to see them. Even from the pictured Abby sent, they both looked like they’d grown in leaps and bounds in the 2 weeks I’d been away.

“You sound like me when it comes to babies,” Pepper chuckled, leaning back in her own chair looking very comfortable and happy. I didn’t miss the subtle glances she kept throwing at her watch though. “Everyone my age is basically all settled down and now starting the whole baby stage. While I’m here running an international company and still eating ice cream for dinner most nights.”

“At least you eat dinner. Most nights I’m having a beer and passing out afterwards,” I chuckled with Pepper. There was a decent age gap between us, but we led very similar lives in a lot of ways.

“I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve fallen asleep on the couch these last few weeks while trying to catch up on TV shows.” Pepper shook her head, but the amusement was clear on her face. “Never in my life did I expect this to happen.”

“Believe me, I know that feeling all too well.” At least I could speak from experience with being thrown in the deep end of life. “I think you’ll be the best CEO Stark Industries has ever seen. You’ve practically run the company for the last few years. At least you’re getting paid for it now.”

“The pay is definitely one bright side of this job,” Pepper giggled a little. “The stress that comes with it, that I’m not so sure of yet. Speaking of stress.”

The good mood on Pepper’s face fell away as she checked her watch again.

“Time to go save the world?” I joked trying to bring a smile back onto her face. It’d been such a nice lunch we had together. I didn’t envy her at all having to go back to work for the rest of the afternoon.

“No, thank you,” Pepper said dryly, but a small smile tugged at the corner of her lips. “No matter how much Tony insists I need an Iron Man, or Woman suit, I’m drawing the line at that one. You are more than welcome to go and be a superhero though.”

“As long as I don’t have to wear a cape, that sounds like fun,” I grinned at Pepper as we both got up from the table. She reached over and gave me a firm hug.

“It’s been so good to see you again,” Pepper’s voice was a little muffled in my shoulder. “I’d like to say don’t be a stranger, but we’re both workaholics. So I’ll just enjoy this moment until we see each other again.”

Being a friend with Pepper had been very easy. We had such different lives, but intertwined each others ideas and personalities so well.

“You too,” I hugged her back just as hard. “Don’t work too hard and we’ll do wine and nachos when you get back from New York.”

As we released each other from the hug, Pepper’s phone started to ring. She sighed irritably and glanced at the screen.

“Back to the real world,” Pepper grumbled staring at the screen before sending the call to voicemail. “Please, stay for dessert if you want.”

“If I eat anymore I’ll bust,” I said honestly. Pepper had gone a little bit overboard with ordering today. She had remembered my love of seafood and didn’t hold back on bringing it all out. “But I’ll go and walk it off by enjoying some clothes shopping.”

“Have fun.” Pepper gave me another brief hug before walking out, with Natasha right on her heels.

I picked up my glass and drained the last of the contents. It felt so weird just walking away from the table without getting the bill. But Stark Industries had an account here, I knew that from the time we were here last. After not paying for my morning pamper or lunch, I was itching to go and spend some money. It’d been ages since I had a shopping splurge. I walked outside and Archie was there waiting for me right at the kerb, back door already open.

“I feel the need to make my credit card cry,” I said to Archie as I slid into the backseat. “Any suggestions?”

“I know just the place.”

While Archie got into the car, I dug into my handbag and snuck a look at what Natasha had given me. It was an address and time, nothing more. While we drove, I put the address into my phone, seeing what Natasha had in mind. It came up with a small Mexican restaurant, nothing extraordinary, just a step up from a hole in the wall type place. The meeting time was for 1800, so I had plenty of time to kill before then.

Archie pulled up to a smaller mall, with the promise of some really good shopping. It was a mix of high end stores and smaller boutiques. The hours easily passed as I casually went from store to store, enjoying taking my time and spending far too much money. I’d be eating ramen for the next month, but it was worth it. It was 1745 by the time I dragged myself out of the shops, arms full of bags. Archie was right there waiting for me at the kerb, exactly where he’d dropped me off.

“Sorry,” I apologised with a small smile. “I got a bit lost for time in there.”

“Don’t apologise, here let me take those.” Archie came forward and relieved most of the bags. “Did you want to go anywhere else Miss Lyngley?”

A small stab of guilt hit me as I thought of heading out to see Natasha. The poor guy had been waiting around for me the entire day. Knowing Natasha and I, we could be having dinner and drinks for hours. There was the small problem of I wasn’t meant to be seeing Natasha either. I really didn’t want to head back to Stark’s place and head out again. It’d look a lot more suspicious than staying out.

“Can you drop my bags off back at the mansion?” I asked, putting on a sweet smile. “I’ve got a personal matter to attend to and I’m not sure how long I’ll be. I can catch a cab back later.”

“I have firm instructions about dropping you off once you’re finished,” Archie said with a firm smile. “No matter how long that may be.”

“Then, can I have you drop me off a block away and ring you when I’m done?” I changed tactics for my approach. “I’d prefer to do this discreetly.”

“Believe me, there is nothing I haven’t seen or heard before,” Archie said with a small laugh. “I will drop you off, you ring when you’re done and pick you up again. I promise your location and who you’re with will remain a secret.”

“Thanks,” I grinned, feeling relieved. That was a lot easier than I thought. I told Archie the address and in return he gave me his phone number. It didn’t take long to get there and with a firm promise I’d call when I was done to Archie, I stepped inside. The smell of tacos made my mouth water despite the huge lunch I’d just had. Natasha was easy to find, she was in the corner overlooking the entire restaurant. A habit I still hadn’t picked up. She caught my eye and inclined her head towards the seat, a grin spreading across her face. A near identical grin started to creep onto my face as well. This was going to be worth the trouble we’d get into.

“Hey stranger,” Natasha said, standing up as I got to the booth. “Long time no see.”

She didn’t give me a chance to reply before pouncing on me, wrapping me into a hug so tight I could barely breath. I hugged her back, just as hard. It’d been far too long since we’d seen each other. There weren’t any words the describe how much I missed her.

“Too long.” I held onto Natasha for a few more seconds before letting go. This would be worth the trouble we’d get into late. “You look amazing.”

Unlike me, Natasha had put the weight back on she’d lost after Pripyat. Even dressed down in casual cargo pants and a black tank top, Natasha still had a very polished look to her. Her make up was minimal, but flawless. Her normally chipped and chewed nails were manicured and her hair purposely curled and styled.

“So do you, I love your haircut.” Natasha gave my blonde locks a small flick of her fingers. She hugged me again, not as hard this time. “Come on, lets eat I’m starving.”

“Are we eating real food, or hard liquor and pretending there's a plate of nachos in every bottle?” I joked, letting go of Natasha and sliding into the booth.

“Oh we’re having tequila, there’s no getting out of that,” Natasha laughed brightly, twisting around to look for a waiter. “But I have a serious nacho craving thanks to Pepper.”

“I could go for nachos if we’re having tequila,” I grinned but inwardly cringed. Tomorrow morning wasn’t going to be pretty at all.

The waiter came over quickly, taking our order and not even raising an eyebrow at Natasha’s insistence of bringing over an entire bottle of tequila. As the waiter finished up, my phone vibrated in my handbag. I fished it out, glancing at the screen. It was from Greg.

_You’ve been quiet all day. Is everything all right? Hows the sunburn?_

I wrinkled my nose as I stared down at the screen. I’d ignored my phone since I turned it on silent at the day spa. There was another few messages from Greg on there as well. I wasn’t ignoring him on purpose, but there was still that nagging feeling I had about him. It was so frustrating.

“Greg?” Natasha asked, breaking through my train of thought.

“Yeah.” I put my phone back in my handbag. A reply could wait until later. I could at least talk this over with Natasha and sort my head out. “Fucking Stark went through my phone last night and went digging through Greg’s history. Did you know he was an Army medic?”

“Yeah, I knew about it.” Natasha looked at me, her head tilted to the side. “I don’t think it was a good time in his life. He wouldn’t talk about it at all. I only found out because I watched Coulson doing his security clearance paperwork. When I asked him about it, he clammed up pretty quickly so I dropped it.”

“So, no reason to be pissy that he hasn’t told me about it?” I asked Natasha. I needed her brutal honestly more than anything right now.

“No reason at all.” Natasha shook his head. “I did a bit of digging and he went through some shitty times in Afghanistan. He got discharged on medical reasons, PTSD actually. So I wouldn’t touch that with a 10 foot pole if I were you. Not unless he brings it up.”

“Duly noted,” I said wryly. We all had our demons and I was more than willing to let this go very quickly. Thank god for Natasha and her habit of snooping. “So, I just spent a fun 2 weeks learning interrogation off Rumlow. Hows your time here been?”

“Did he teach you how to waterboard to really fuck with people’s heads?” Natasha asked, her eyes sparkling with humour. "Its boring here. I hate it."

Those words were enough to make me know Natasha didn't want to talk about work right now. This was a girls night out and we needed happier topics. Like interrogation and torture.

“Yes,” I chuckled a little, but I sobered up. “I hated it. I felt like I needed to go scrub myself in bleach every time I was in that room.”

“Who was it that was being interrogated?” Natasha asked, reaching over the squeeze my hand. “It’s ok to feel grossed out about it. I’d be more worried if you weren’t to be honest.”

“Dante Gunnarson.” I wouldn’t forget that name in a hurry. Natasha wrinkled her nose at the name. “Nasty piece of work apparently.”

“And has ties to the crazy bitch who calls herself Madam Hydra,” Natasha said, spitting out the name like it left a bad taste in her mouth. “Good riddance to one less piece of shit in the world. I hope he rots in the Fridge for the rest of his life.”

Before I could reply, the waiter came over with our bottle of tequila. There was also 2 fruity looking frozen cocktail as well.

“Courtesy of the gentlemen at the bar,” the waiter said in his heavily accented voice, tipping his head towards 2 guys in suits who were watching us with confident smiles. They were dressed a little too nicely to be in a place like this. But they weren’t completely out of place. Amongst the families and couples, there were also a few suits and designer labels as well. Being in Malibu there could be a movie or sports star sitting 2 tables away and you wouldn't notice unless you looked carefully.

“Thanks.” Natasha smiled at the waiter but completely ignored the 2 men. I snuck a glance over to them, only to see the dark haired one scowl in our direction. Someone obviously didn’t take rejection too well.

“You don’t want to invite them over and see if we can score some expensive booze off them?” I suggested, turning back to Natasha who was slurping down the cocktail.

“Nope.” Natasha popped the P in the word. “Girls night, just you and me. If they come over and cause a stir, we’re lesbian lovers.”

“Some guys like that,” I chuckled, but I know I’d go with the plan anyway. “I told the asshole that was in the interrogation with Rumlow and I that you and me were lovers. He threw the whole ‘I’m fucking Barton and it's the only reason I’m here’ line at me.”

“When will guys learn to be creative with their insults,” Natasha rolled her eyes, but looked amused at the choice of insult. She had heard the same thing in her time in SHIELD.

“I also said that we let Barton watch sometimes, but he isn’t allowed to touch. I thought Rumlow was going to choke on his tongue,” I said with a giggle. “I guess he liked that mental image.”

“Oh god lets hope not,” Natasha groaned, but a snort of laughter escaped as well. “He spent the first year when I joined SHIELD talking to my tits. He does not need any encouragement thinking about me naked.”

“Speaking of STRIKE guys and your tits.” The thought came to me suddenly. “Have you heard from Sam lately?”

“Mmm.” The sound of non commitment coming from Natasha as she took another long drink was confirmation enough for me. I looked at her with raised eyebrows, patiently waiting for a real answer.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Natasha scowled at me. She reached over and undid the lid on the tequila, pouring out 2 shots. “Drink.”

“Cheers.” I picked up the shot glass and slammed the tequila down in one swallow. It was cheap and nasty, burning down my throat and stomach. I coughed, my eyes watering from the burn. I quickly chased the burning feeling away with a sip of my cocktail. The frozen strawberry margarita did little to quench the burn, but it got rid of the horrid after taste.

“Oh that’s fucking nasty,” Natasha gasped, switching to Russian in her mild horror as she stared at the bottle. “I guess it’ll have to do now its open.”

“How many shots will it take you to tell me about Sam?” I teased, my voice a little hoarse from the harsh alcohol. There wasn’t much I could tease Natasha about, so I was going to take every opportunity I could.

“Fine.” Natasha gave in easier than I thought she would. There wasn’t any pouting on her behalf, just another shot being poured and a smile she kept trying to hide. I didn’t complain when she handed me the shot glass again. I threw it down with a grimace and quickly chased the burn away with a long gulp of margarita.

“So?” I prompted Natasha with a giggle. My head was already spinning from the tequila. If we kept this pace up, I’d be passed out under the table before our nachos came out.

“I may have flown him out here once for the weekend.” Natasha cleared her throat, her cheeks going a faint shade of pink. Though that could have easily been from the cheap tequila we were drinking. “Maybe twice, could have been three times. Who’s counting really.”

“Apparently not you,” I said with mock seriousness. It took about 3 seconds of each of us trying to keep a sombre face before we dissolved into giggles.

“Last weekend was to cheer him up,” Natasha confessed, pouring us yet another shot. “Did you hear he got suspended? Like not allowed at the Triskelion until the drama is cleared up suspended?”

“No?” I felt both my eyebrows raise into my hairline. I hadn’t heard that bit of news. “Not Sam, he’s a good boy. What the fuck did he do?”

Despite his big mouth and loud antics, Sam was one of the better behaved STRIKE boys. He and Riley used to have that in common. Neither of them ever caused any real trouble.

“The team was at the range and Cobb and Sam got into an argument,” Natasha explained, pushing the now full shot glass over to me. “Sam kind of shot Cobb in foot because he said something not too nice about Riley.”

I closed my eyes and grimaced on Sam’s behalf. Part of me was angry that Cobb would ever dare even think something bad about Riley. Maybe when we got back Natasha and I could have a quiet ‘talk’ with Cobb about him and his ego.

“With a live round.”

“Oh fuck Sammy,” I groaned, my head falling into my hands. “It just gets worse for him doesn’t it?”

“If it wasn’t for Evans stepping in, he’d be kicked out, no questions asked.” Natasha threw back her shot. I raised my head and eyed off the glass, before doing the same. This one didn’t burn quite as much going down. “Evans got him to a psych straight away. Whatever Sam said to the psych gave him a thread to hang onto instead of instant dismissal. It helped that Evans said Cobb deliberately provoked him.”

“Do you know what Cobb actually said?” I said, pushing my shot glass away. I needed to stop until I got some food into me. Luckily, Natasha did the same thing.

“No.” Natasha shook her head, looking sad all of a sudden. “He wouldn’t tell me. All he said was Cobb was lucky neither Barton and I were in earshot. Otherwise the kid would be dead.”

“Poor Sam,” I sighed. Riley’s death was hard on me, but it was just as hard for Sam. They’d been friends for a lot longer than Riley and I dated. He hid his pain so well behind his joking exterior though.

“Poor Sam,” Natasha echoed with a small smile. “I think I cheered him up a little. He’s gone home to his family for a bit instead of hanging around DC waiting on his fate. Has Barton been talking to you?”

“Constantly.” My head reeled at the sudden change of subject. “He must be bored, he keeps blowing up my phone with endless texts. Why?”

“He’s driving me nuts too,” Natasha said with an eye roll. “It's seriously every 5 seconds. What the fuck has Coulson got him doing? He wouldn’t tell me.”

“Watching an astrophysicist in the New Mexico desert,” I said with a small laugh. It must be driving Natasha nuts to not know what was happening and not be able to go snooping to find out. “I think he’s bored. Wanna send him a photo of our nachos and tequila?”

“Fuck yes.” Natasha’s face lit up with glee. “Speaking of nachos, where the fuck are ours?”

Just as Natasha said it, the waiter came over with 2 plates of steaming nachos. My mouth watered as the smell drifted towards me. Despite the big lunch, my stomach growled in anticipated. The waiter set our plates down.

“Can we get another 2 of these please?” Natasha asked with a flirty smile as she held her nearly empty cocktail glass up. The waiter eyed off our tequila bottle, but gave in to Natasha’s pretty smile fairly quickly.

Tomorrow was going to hurt. So bad.

I took a photo of my still half full margarita with the tequila bottle and plated of nachos in view. I sent it to Clint without any explanation. Natasha’s fingers were busy on her own phone, smiling at whatever she was replying to. On a whim, I sent the photo to Greg as well with a hastily typed out message.

_This is helping me not feel a thing_

I put my phone away, making sure it was still on silent. It’d drive Clint nuts to see a photo of what we were doing and neither of us reply to him. It’d serve him right for spamming me so much with his nonsense and emoticon texts.

“Ok, one more shot before dinner.” Natasha didn’t wait for me to answer. She grabbed the bottle and poured out some more of the horrid liquid. My head was feeling fuzzy just looking at it. But I took the offered shot glass and threw it down, chasing it down with the last of my margarita. The first bite of nachos was spicy but so good. Our margaritas arrived by the time I was onto my third mouthful of spicy beef, so I had another big drink of margaritas to quell my burning mouth.

Bad idea. Very bad idea. Was my last coherent though.

I woke up face down, head pounding, mouth dry as a desert and my stomach giving me serious rebellion against the nachos and tequila. I lay there, trying to breath as quietly as possibly so it didn’t hurt my head. Maybe if I just lay here I’d go back to sleep.

Or die.

 Either would do me just fine.

“Good morning Agent Lyngley,” JARVIS’ cheery British voice was far too loud. I groaned, pulling the pillow tighter over my head. “I’m sorry to disturb you, but Agent Coulson requires your assistance in the lab urgently.”

Of course he did. At least I’d made it back here last night. Things could have been worse. I forced myself into an upright position, trying not to heave as my body protested the simple movement. I was still dressed in what I wore yesterday, minus my shoes. There was a glass of water and some aspirin sitting on the bedside table. Both of which I gratefully took before attempting to get out of bed. As I got upright, JARVIS’ voice came again.

“I’m sorry to hurry you along Agent Lyngley, but it is quite urgent.” JARVIS at least sounded apologetic.

“I’m coming,” I rasped out. I managed to get out of bed and get changed without puking. I considered that a good start to this horrible morning. Through squinting eyes, I looked at my phone for the time. It was only 0700. Along with the time had a mass of unread text messages. The top one caught my eye straight away. Because it was a name I put into my phone and never sent a message because I was too chicken. It was from Gareth.

_So drunken phone calls and attempts at phone sex aren’t something I expected of you Knuckles. Gotta say, even though you were wasted it was really hot. Let me know how you pull up in the morning._

What little colour was left in my face felt like it drained away as I read over the text. Fuck my life. Did I seriously do that? I remembered nothing after starting to eat my nachos last night. The rest of the texts were from Greg and Clint. More Clint than Greg. Clint was cursing me for having a night out with tequila and Natasha without him. Judging by the deteriorating state of his texts, he also decided to go out and find a bottle of tequila. His last message was completely illegible except for a smiley face.

“Agent Lyngley,” JARVIS prompted me again. “Staring at your phone will not make you move any faster.”

“Right.” I groaned, forcing one foot in front of the other. It was a long and painful walk through the house. The bright interior made my eyes hurt and my head spin. By some miracle I made it all the way down to the workshop and in the door. I was greeted by a very pissed off looking Coulson. Thankfully there was no Tony in sight.

“I’m sorry, are we disturbing you?” Coulson tapped his foot, arms crossed looking ready to explode.

“Yes.”

I blame the remaining tequila in my body and my awful hungover state for saying the worst word I possibly could.

“Too fucking bad,” Coulson snapped. “You were brought here to do a job. Not gallivant around Malibu shopping and getting drunk with Natasha, who you were told not to meet up with so she could keep cover.”

“You told me I could spend the day out,” I tried to make my voice as normal as possible. But I sounded like a pack a day smoker. The excuses sounded very feeble too.

“No, JARVIS told you that. Did you think to check it?” Coulson continued his snappy tirade. I meekly shook my head, not daring to say anything else. Even in my very hungover state, I knew I was in trouble.

“It’s not your fault Stark got you out of the house so he could break perimeter as well. That I can deal with. What I can’t deal with is you and Natasha deciding to break the rules because you wanted to get drunk together. Breaking the rules is what got her landed in this undercover mission to start with.”

“I know,” I said, cringing at how loud Coulson’s voice was. It echoed around my head, feeling like he was personally inside my skull smashing it with a hammer.

“From what Natasha said, it was her idea.” Coulson’s voice thankfully dropped to a more acceptable level. “But that still doesn’t mean you have to go along with it. So you can sit in this lab and not move unless I tell you, face to face, from now on. If Stark is in here, you are too. If he leaves to take a shit, you sit outside the toilet. Do not let him out of your sight. Understood?”

Coulson’s last few words were punctuated very clearly and said through gritted teeth.

“Yes Sir.” I didn’t bother to argue. I was too fucking hungover to begin with and arguing would make my life hell.

Coulson stormed out of the room without another word. I waited until he was out of sight before collapsing into one of the chairs, pulling it up so I could rest my head on the bench. I was going to die. I hadn’t been this hungover in a long time.

“Agent finished ranting yet?” Tony’s voice called from somewhere in the lab.

Just when I felt like my life couldn’t get any worse, I find out Tony was in the lab all along. I bet he got a real thrill out of hearing Coulson ream me out.

“Oh god, shut the fuck up,” I groaned again, my voice muffled by my arms. “This is all your fault Stark. Leave me alone to die in peace.”

Something slammed down right next to my head. I jumped in surprise, dragging my burning eyes up to see what it was. In front of me was a blender jug full of something that looked like green sludge. Tony was standing on the other side of the bench, looking very amused at the sight of me.

“Drink up Ice Queen, you don’t mind if I call you that do you?” Tony’s grin was absolutely infuriating. “We’re going to be spending a lot of time together. Do you like AC/DC?”

“If you call me Ice Queen, I will stab you in the eye with an icicle,” I said through gritted teeth. I wasn’t surprised in the least he’d found out what my power was. The smell of whatever it was in the blender was making me feel even sicker than before. “And I fucking hate classic rock.”

“Excellent.” Tony reached into his pocket and pointed a remote behind my head. A second later, Shoot to Thrill began blasting so loud I couldn’t hear myself think.

“STARK!” I shouted over the music. “Turn the fucking music down!”

“I can’t hear you Ice Queen.” Only 2 feet in front of me and I could barely hear Tony. “Come on, drink up. This is your fault we both got busted yesterday. We have a new element to create today.”

As soon as Tony finished speaking, he turned the music up even further. My head felt like it was going to explode from all the noise. My stomach finally gave up and rebelled against the tequila and nachos. I leapt up from my seat and only just made it to the sink in time. It was a new level of torture puking in the sink with the music playing so loud I couldn’t hear myself think.

Seriously, fuck my life. Today was going to suck.


	55. Chapter 55

“That’s a dumb idea.”

“It is not.”

“It really, really is.”

“How would you know?”

“Because I know dumb ideas when I see one.”

“I’m sorry, how many degree’s in engineering do you have?”

I sighed irritably, rubbing my temples as I looked at Tony and his latest crazy idea. It was late the next morning and I was still feeling hungover as fuck. Tony blaring music all day yesterday hadn’t helped in the slightest. But the green sludge he kept putting in front of me was about the only reason I was able to speak today. It’d taken JARVIS’ reassurance that it wasn’t poison before I’d drink it. The green sludge was vile and had the weirdest texture in the world, but I lost the feeling of wanting to die. Sleeping on the couch in the lab hadn’t improved my mood in the slightest since Tony never seemed to sleep. Neither had Tony’s constant shit stirring.

“Why don’t you just ring up CERN and ask to use theirs?” I said, trying to hide my pained sigh. Tony’s current idea about being a particle accelerator generator in his own workshop was a whole new level of batshit crazy.

“Now who’s having a dumb idea?” Tony snarked at me, flipping the wrench in his hand back and forth. “You really think CERN would let me waltz in there and have a play with something that could destroy the Earth?”

“And building one in your basement is a better idea?” I countered, raising my eyebrow at him. “Instead of the world, it’d just be the west coast of America getting sucked into a black hole.”

“One, it’d probably just be California.” Tony argued back. “Two, I’m mildly impressed you even know what I’m talking about.”

I ignored the vague attempt at flattery. The man was so fucking annoying. His actions could be nice, like repeatedly putting the green sludge in front of me to ease my hangover. But as soon as he opened his mouth, I wanted to punch him.

“So Ice Queen, how would you create a new element?” Tony asked when I didn’t answer him. “You’re smarter than the average cookie.”

I let out a very long suffering sigh. The shitty thing was, I knew Tony was right. A particle accelerator generator was the only way to create a new element. You couldn’t throw in a few elements like you were making a cake. Something new had to be created by smashing some protons and neutrons together and a shit ton of other science that went over my head.

“I’d use a particle accelerator generator,” I grumbled. “But, I’d borrow one already built.”

“I’m sorry, did I just hear you agreeing with me?” Tony asked, leaning forward, cupping his hand around his ear. “Please, say it again so I can record it.”

“Fuck off.” I picked up my phone and went back to ignoring Tony. I bit my lip as a message from Gareth came through. I was still horrified I’d rung him and apparently spent the entire 45 minute conversation talking dirty. Thankfully he seemed to find it funny. It didn’t stop the constant flirting though. I was going to ignore the messages at first. But I gave in pretty quickly. I’d forgotten how flattering it was having someone flirt with you. I was kind of enjoying it.

_Working out will help your hangover. I’m headed to the gym now. Need to muscle photos for inspiration?_

I snorted trying to stop myself laughing. There was no way I was moving off the couch, except for food. I’d never been hungover for 2 days in a row. I’m surprised I hadn’t given myself alcohol poisoning. So was Greg after I found out from Natasha we’d finished off the bottle of tequila and a jug of margaritas.

_This coming from the guy who used to drink a gallon of coffee with a donut for breakfast. It amuses me greatly to see you turning into a gym rat. And yes, photos would be much appreciated. It might make me feel better._

I smirked a little, reading over the message. It turns out Gareth wasn’t shy at all about showing off his new found muscles. I certainly wasn't complaining about him sending me photos of him flexing off his biceps, or showing off the start of a 6 pack he was currently sporting. It was a very nice sight.

“Yo, Ice Queen, stop sexting and look at this.” Tony appeared in front of me, dropping a Stark Pad in my lap. I grunted in response, tempted to throw the pad at his head. But as always, my curiosity got the better of me. I picked up the paper thin tablet and glanced at the screen. The blueprints of the particle accelerator generator were easy enough to follow. The chemistry behind actually creating the new element was beyond my knowledge. I tried a few times to read the complication equations, but my head wouldn’t process it at all. Physics was my strong point, not chemistry. I attached it to an email and send it to Dad instead. He’d have a field day with something like that.

He didn’t disappoint either. 5 minutes later, his work number came up on my screen.

“No, I will not help you build a particle accelerator generator unless its for a good cause,” Dad teased as soon as I picked up. “What on earth are you doing Kari?”

“I’m using it to create a new element to cure hangovers.” I couldn’t help but smile. Dad sounded like he was in a good mood. Maybe he was just happy to hear from me for once in my life. “Hows my chemistry look?”

“Far too advanced for your grasp of chemistry,” Dad said smartly. All of a sudden his voice rang out across the room on loudspeaker. “Though a very interesting concept.”

“That would be my chemistry,” Tony said hotly, sounding ready to be on the defensive. “And who are you to judge my work?”

“Paul Lyngley,” Dad replied without missing a beat, or sounding upset. “Head of SHIELD’s weapons R&D. Actually about to be head of R&D completely. Just waiting on the official announcement. Kari’s dad too, be nice to my daughter. She’s tougher than she looks.”

Dad’s news made me sit up in surprise. I’d heard that position was open, but Dad had been in weapons development for as long as I was alive. I never thought he’d move away from it. Tony spoke before I could congratulate him in the news.

“Huh.” Was all Tony could say as he looked between me and the ceiling. “So, Paul. What do you think of my calculations?”

I gave Tony a long suffering look. I’d never get a word in once Dad got started on a topic. Especially if he had someone with his brain to debate things as well. He didn’t disappoint. Dad immediately began pointing out flaws in Tony’s calculations. I watched in amusement as the two of them immediately began to argue about the science Tony was trying to do. I wouldn’t be surprised in the least if Dad had purposely made up the mistakes to try and get a debate out of Tony. He was good at that. He used to do it to me all the time in high school, making me lose my temper in spectacular ways. I used the distraction to quickly read the last text message Greg sent me.

_Fluids, lots and lots of fluids is the only way you’re going to feel better. Please remind me of that after this weekend. I’ve got a wedding to go to and it's an open bar._

  
I snorted in laughter reading the message. I’d been complaining about how terrible I felt to Greg. It was an interesting contrast to the messages I was getting from Gareth. I had to be very careful and double check who I was replying to. My still hungover brain wasn’t feeling smart enough to tell the names apart at a glance.

“What do you think Kari?” Dad’s voice cut into my train of thought before I could begin typing out my reply.

“I think he’s going to get the west coast sucked into a black hole,” I voiced my earlier concern. This was all over my head, but I wasn’t going to admit that out loud within Tony’s presence. “And I really don’t want to be here for that. Can you fake a heart attack or something so I can come home?”

“She’s sexting her hot doctor friend,” Tony said smartly. “And not paying attention to the conversation at all.”

I gave Tony a sullen look that would make Jared proud. He only gave me a triumphant grin in return, not perturbed by me at all.

“Did not need to know that,” Dad sounded a little disgusted. There was a beat and I could practically hear the thought rattling around in Dad’s head. “Hang on, what doctor friend?”

“No one Dad, ignore him, call me back later when I have some privacy,” I scowled back at Tony, picking up the empty cup in front of me and throwing it at him. My aim was really sloppy, Clint would kick my ass for a week for such a bad aim. It sailed a few feet left of my intent target of Tony’s head. It only make the proud smirk on Tony’s face turn into a grin. I groaned, rolling over on the couch and pulled a cushion over my head. I couldn’t deal with this shit for much longer.

“Ok.” Even though the speaker was muffled under my pillow, I could hear the minor disappointed in Dad’s voice. “If you need help with anything, ring me.”

“Love you.” I released the cushion from my head. “Congrats on the promotion. If I’m allowed to, I’ll swing by home before I go back to DC.”

“Thanks Kars,” The disappointment was gone in his tone. “It’d be good to see you. Be good and stay out of trouble.”

Before I could make a clever reply, the call ended.

“Thanks, now my Mom is going to harass me non stop about my hot doctor friend,” I snapped, turning to send another dirty look in Tony’s direction. “I’d say you know how Mom’s can be, but you wouldn’t know.”

I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth. The humour fell away from Tony’s face. He cleared his throat and turned his back on me and went back to fiddling with a notebook on the bench. I felt awful for what I just said. He may be the most annoying person on the planet but he didn’t need me to be a spiteful bitch.

“Tony, I’m so sorry,” I said softly. “That was awful of me to say.”

“But not untrue.” Tony sounded like he was picking his words very carefully. There an awkward pause before he turned around with a smile that was anything but genuine on his face. “I need coffee and donuts. You want some donuts? Death by chocolate ones and vanilla latte?”

“Yeah.” I couldn't find any words to say to the sudden change of topic. I knew I’d touched a nerve, but I had no idea how to make this better beyond apologising. “Thanks.”

Tony didn’t say anything else besides giving me a tight smile and he disappeared into the depths of his workshop. I pulled the cushion back over my head with a pained groan. Today was not looking like it was going to be a good day. My phone vibrated next to my head, which I ignored. I was not fit for human company today if that kind of shit was going to come out of my mouth. I'd nearly drifted off to sleep when JARVIS’ rudely interrupted my potential nap.

“Excuse my Agent Lyngley, but your mother is sending you quite a few texts. Her last one was ‘So help me Kari, I will come to Malibu and drag the information out of you myself. Call me NOW.’”

“Can you send one back that I’m hungover and not in the mood?” I grumbled, not even sure my voice was able to be understood properly. “Please tell me Stark is still in the lab as well.”

“Mr Stark is in the storage section of his lab,” JARVIS confirmed. “I have also sent the message to your mother, though I’m not sure it’ll get the reaction you want.”

“Don’t care,” I groaned, holding the cushion over my head tighter. “Really don’t care right now.”

“Agent Coulson is also on his way down,” JARVIS informed me. “If you’d care to drag yourself off the couch, he also has the requested donut and coffee order.”

I sighed heavily, but relinquished the hold of the cushion from over my head. I should at least be sitting upright when Coulson got here. I didn’t see him at all yesterday. I wouldn’t be surprised if I was still in the bad books for seeing Natasha. Coulson let the three of us get away with a lot of shit. But he didn’t take disobeying a direct order lightly. I deserved the trouble I was in. Not that it made the situation any better. I dragged my body into an upright position, ignoring the churning of my stomach. I was hoping putting some food into me might make me feel semi human again.

Coulson was in workout gear and sweaty as he walked into the workshop, carrying a bag of donuts and tray of coffee.

“You look like shit.” He didn’t mince words as he handed over my requested items. It was amazing how quickly stuff got here.

“I feel like shit,” I admitted, feeling a little ashamed still. “Serves me right though.”

“A 2 day hangover is brutal punishment.” Coulson had a ghost of a smile on his face. “Not one I’d inflict on anyone. Have you been drinking enough water?”

I pointed to the several empty bottles littering the table in front of me. Considering the state of my hangover it probably wasn’t enough. Most of the water had come straight back up and I’d resorted to sucking on chips of ice I made instead. The only thing that had stayed in my stomach was the green sludge Tony kept putting in front of me.

“Why don’t you go upstairs and have a nap?” Coulson suggested. “Get some food into you and come back down later. I’ll handle this for a few hours.”

“Thanks Coulson.” I wasn’t going to argue. I took my coffee and donuts and trudged back to the guest room. I managed a donut and half my coffee before I got back. My stomach wasn’t protesting too much about either of them. I drained the last of my coffee and fell into bed, groaning in delight at the best mattress I’d ever slept on underneath me. This was so much better than the couch. I curled up around my pillow and closed my eyes. I was out like a light and didn’t wake up until Coulson shook me awake gently.

“Hey,” Coulson said softly, bending down so he was eye level with the bed. “I have to run into the LA office for a couple of hours. There’s some pizza downstairs for you and more coffee. Ok?”

I nodded, feeling groggy and disorientated as I sat up. But I also didn’t feel as hungover anymore. The nausea was mostly gone. My head didn’t feel like someone was trying to split it open. Pizza was sounding really good instead of something that would make me throw up again.

“Your Mom rang me too,” Coulson said as he pushed himself upright. “Apparently there was a snarky comment from Stark about you sexting. I think she was disappointed to find out it was only Stark being an asshole.”

“People have far too much interest in my sex life,” I couldn’t keep the grumble out of my voice. It made Coulson laugh quietly. “Can I at least shower before I head back down?”

“Sure.” Coulson looked at his watch. “Don’t be too long. Call if you need anything.”

I nodded in agreement, pushing myself off the bed. Trudging to the bathroom took far more effort than it should have. But standing under the warm water helped a lot. I was almost feeling like a new person when I got out. It was late afternoon, the sun was just starting to make its journey down to the horizon. The beach called to me, but the pull of the skin on my back reminded me I didn’t need to be sun-baking anytime soon. I was cooked well enough still. The sunburn had already started to peel, making my skin feel itchy and tight. I’d even spotted a few blisters come up on my shoulders while drying off.

The workshop looked like a demolition zone as I stepped in. Tony had shit everywhere, from large metal cylinders to what looked to be miles of cabling. I couldn’t see him but I could hear what sounded like a sledgehammer against a solid wall from depths of the workshop. As Coulson said, there was pizza waiting on the coffee table. It was still warm, so I grabbed the last 2 pieces and wandered down to the direction of the noise. It didn’t take long to find it. Tony was in the process of trying to knock through a solid concrete wall. I stood there eating my pizza wondering if I should interrupt him. But it was kind of funny to watch. He had earmuffs on and was swinging the sledgehammer at the wall like it was someone he didn’t like. I decided I stand there patiently, eating my pizza and waiting to see how long it’d take him to notice me. It wasn’t until I was halfway through my second slice he noticed I was there.

“Don’t you look better after some sleep,” Tony’s voice was loud as he paused mid swing.

I was mildly impressed by his muscle control. It was a big sledgehammer and I doubted I’d be able to hold it in the awkward position he had it in.

“You would too.” I lifted an eyebrow at him. Now I wasn’t hungover as fuck and regretting my poor life choices, I actually took a closer look at the man in front of me. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days. Last night was proof that he seemed to run on caffeine, junk food and snarky humour.

“Can’t sleep, clowns will eat me,” Tony smirked back at me, swinging the hammer again and putting another dent in the wall. I had to bite the inside of my cheek to not laugh at his very old Simpson’s reference. It was something Clint would say. But under that terrible joke, there was a serious undertone. I didn’t doubt there’d be a lot of Tony’s mind right now. Racing the clock to find a way to fix something that was killing you would be a good incentive to stay awake. I was still feeling guilty about my snappy comment from this morning.

“Need a hand?” I gestured towards the wall. I wouldn’t be much help with a sledgehammer, but freezing the wall I could do. I hadn’t had a good play with my powers in a long time. Breaking stuff was always a good incentive to bring them out.

“Sure.” The look on surprise on Tony’s face was comical. I hid my own smirk as I went up to the wall, placing my hands flat against it.

“How big do you want it?”

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that question?”

Tony’s smart ass reply made me want to smash the side of his head into the concrete wall. Repeatedly. I gritted my teeth and sent him my best glare over my shoulder. It only made him grin at me in obvious glee that he found another button to push on annoying me.

“Big enough you could crawl through it.” Tony quickly dropped the bullshit. “It needs to fit all that piping through it to make a circle.”

Of course it did. He was really making his own particle accelerator generator. I hoped I wouldn’t be here when it finally got turned on. I rolled my eyes and turned my concentration to what I was doing. Concrete was easy to work with. All the small holes, pores and imperfections made it easy for my power to get into. Then it was just a matter of my power being pushed into it until the structure couldn’t take the strain anymore. However, getting it to be about a 4 foot hole could be a problem. I’d never actually done something to size before. Stark might end up missing an entire wall, but at least he’d have his hole.

I took in a deep breath and focused on the cool wall under my hands. It took very little concentration to the ice to fan out from underneath my hands. It was a strange feeling, doing it so openly and feeling almost confident enough that I could manage this. My hands were tingling as the ice fanned out across the concrete, working its way into every little crack and hole within the wall. It only took another couple of seconds before the concrete cracked under my hands before disintegrating into pile of rubble at my feet. I couldn’t stop the smug grin from spreading over my face. It was a perfect hole, about 4 feet wide. I’d actually done it.

“That is beyond fucking cool,” Tony’s voice snapped my attention back to my company in the room. I turned to see Tony looking like a kid on Christmas morning. “Wanna do the rest?”

He gestured towards the other 2 walls that would be in the way.

“Only if you get some more pizza,” I said smartly. I’d do it anyway. It was always fun to be destructive with my powers. In came under the same type of thrill that came with blowing stuff up for the hell of it.

“JARVIS, ring up D’Amores and get them to send some more over,” Tony said promptly. “What do you want Ice Queen?”

“Meatlovers, the more meat the better.” I ignored Tony’s attempt to get a rise out of me. As soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted my choice of words. “Don’t even fucking say it Stark otherwise you’ll find yourself missing one of your favourite body parts.”

“Meatlovers it is for the person clearly needing some…” Tony trailed off as I glared at him. “Iron in her diet.”

I shook my head at his new attempt to piss me off. How Pepper had put up with him for so many years was beyond me. I’d only spent a day with him and I could happily strangle him and find a few creative places to hide the body pieces.

“Don’t forget the garlic bread,” I said, turning to make my way to the wall I needed to break through. “And something for dessert too. The more sugar the better.”

I expected another smart ass comment from Tony about getting fat. But he thankfully kept his mouth shut. He went back to do whatever it was he was doing while I made the other 2 holes in the wall. By the time I was done, the pizza had arrived. I was starving, which was a novelty after the last day. I sat down on the ouch and demolished my meatlovers pizza, half the garlic bread and the almost too sickly sweet chocolate cake that was sent for dessert.

“Good god woman, where do you fit all of that in?” Tony appeared from where ever he’d been working as I was shoving the last of the cake into my mouth.

“Hollow legs,” I said with a small bit of amusement. That was probably the first thing Tony had said to me that hadn’t made me want to punch him in the face. “Plus an amazing metabolism and very good genes.”

While I definitely got the tall, string bean look from Dad, I wouldn’t call Mom a big boned person either. She was slender, but she at least had some womanly curves to her body. She always joked to me that I’d have to wait until I got pregnant for the curves to ever appear on my body. The way I was going, I’d be skinny for the rest of my life.

Tony made a noise of acknowledgement but didn’t make a comment. He was too intent on demolishing his own pizza. While he was busying I flicked through my messages. There was the promised ones of Gareth flexing his biceps. Greg had been silent since his last message, which wasn’t a surprise. He’d either be sleeping or at work. Clint had been abnormally quiet today. I’d only gotten one good morning and ‘I’m bored’ text from him all day. It would have to be a new record for Clint.

“So why are you not sexting your hot doctor friend?” Tony’s question made me want to go and bang my head against the wall. Though it’d been 5 minutes since he last annoyed me. That had to be some sort of record.

“Because he’s not interested? I don’t know.” I shrugged instead of trying to find a snappy answer. “My grandmother is a telepath, not me. I don’t know what goes on in his mind.”

“I’m sorry, run that by me again?” Tony turned to stare at me. The look of surprise on his face was amusing. “Your grandmother does what?”

“She can read minds,” I said slowly, unable to keep the facetious tone out of my voice.

“Huh.” Tony seemed lost for words at my declaration. “Thats weird.”

“Me being able to break through a wall by using cyrokinesis isn’t?” I challenged with an arched eyebrow.

“No, not that,” Tony scoffed. “God, I fund enough of Xavier’s people to not be impressed by mutant powers anymore. Dad had a female friend from his time in the war who he said could read minds. Or at least I think he did. I was really young when he brought it up but he never said her name.”

Says the person who was looking like a kid of Christmas morning after I smashed through his wall with my power. I can’t say I was surprised though. Grams, Peggy and Howard were a force to be reckoned with in their younger days. Grams didn’t speak about Howard at all and I almost got the distinct feeling there was something that happened between them that made things that way. It wasn’t my business to go poking around about it, so I never did.

“My grandmother knew your father,” I explained with a small shrug. “She was part of Project Rebirth and helped found SHIELD.”

“That’s an impressive legacy to live up to.” Tony shoved the last of the garlic bread into his mouth. “So why USAF first?”

I shrugged again. I wasn’t in the mood to go into my life story. I highly doubted Tony would even be interested in it anyway. He seemed like the type of person who’d get distracted in about 5 seconds.

“Come on,” Tony said, throwing a wadded up napkin at me. I managed to catch it and shoot him a withering look. “We’re having, what’s the thing normal boring people do when they talk to each other?”

“A conversation?” I suggested forcing myself not to sigh at him. The man had a talent for getting on people’s nerves.

“That’s the one,” Tony said, snapping his fingers at me. “So come on, spill it. There has to be a reason why SHIELD wasn’t your first choice. You aren’t stupid, you could have done anything you wanted.”

That was high praise coming from Tony Stark. He looked genuinely interested too, not just wanting some noise to keep any awkward silence from happening. I didn’t really feel like opening up to him completely. But I could be polite enough to keep the conversation going.

“I watched Top Gun far too much as a kid,” I half lied. “Who wouldn’t want to strap yourself onto a rocket and do crazy shit for a living?”

To my surprise, Tony laughed at my statement. It was only a short bark, but it was still a bit of genuine laughter. I felt the corner of my lips tug up into a smile. This was an unexpected turn of events.

“You should try being in the suit.” Tony gestured his head towards the side of the workshop where his Iron Man suits were kept. They were currently behind thick glass and blacked out so I couldn’t peek at them even if I wanted to. “You’re strapped into the rocket, with lots of little rockets strapped to you. Wile E Coyote has nothing on Iron Man.”

“Is that an invitation I can take it out for a spin?” I asked, my smile growing wider. This was a pleasant change from the last 24 hours. A real conversation without any bullshit.

“I don’t think you’ll fit,” Tony said wryly, looking me up and down. “You’re about an inch and a half taller than me. It’s a very tight custom fit.”

I was impressed he managed to say the words tight fit without turning it into a dirty joke.

“So, here’s another question for you,” Tony said before I could say anything else. “Coulson said you were Romanoff’s protege, so you’re a super spy too? Do you have one of those skin tight catsuits like she does? If you do, why aren’t you wearing it?”

And we were right back to being annoying. He kept talking, not giving me a chance to cut that line of thought off.

“If I wasn’t so hungover at the time,I would have asked Romanoff what kind of underwear she wore under it. Because there was no panty lines to be seen but that thing does not look comfortable enough to wear commando.”

“She wears Skins or Under Armour tights under it.” I gave Tony a pained expression. “And I don’t have one. It’s not the most comfortable thing to snipe in.”

The combat pants favoured by most of the STRIKE guys had knee pads sewn into the fabric which made kneeling or laying in one position for ages a lot more comfortable. Plus it was handy to stop bruises when I accidentally banged my knees on the control panel while I was in the Quinjet.

“I would not have pictured you as a sniper,” Tony commented looking mildly impressed. “Lemme guess, standard issue M24? You don’t look like a bells and whistles type of girl. Some basic and straightforward, but gets the job done very efficiently.”

“AWSM actually.” It was my turn to be a little impressed. Then again, the fortune of Stark Industries was built on weapons manufacturing. He’d have to know his weapons. “I’m quite partial to the CheyTac as well.”

“So you should be.” Tony’s impressed face turned into smug attitude quickly. “I designed the bullets for the CheyTac, but gave them the naming rights. What’s your best kill shot?”

“Mile,” I said simply, thinking back to the time I replaced Riley on a mission after his ex had shown up on our doorstep. “But that was on a clear night, no wind and I had a perfect line of sight. Anyone could have done it.”

“Yeah because shooting at those kind of distance is a matter of putting someone’s head in the middle of crosshairs and pulling the trigger,” Tony said sarcastically, looking mildly disgusted at my shrugging it off. “Laws of physics and stuff like that don’t apply.”

There were very few people who weren’t trained marksman who understood how much work and calculations actually went into making a shot over long distances. Everything came into play. Elevation, humidity, temperature, wind speed and even the way the Earth spun affected your shot. It was an art form to get right. Especially under pressure.

“Anyway,” Tony said brightly, brushing his hands off on his pants. “Want to help me put all these together?”

Tony gestured to the heavy metal pipes he had lying around the workshop. Each one of them looked like it weighed more than I did. But Tony was being very civil. I could almost forgive him for being such an ass yesterday. Almost. Plus I owed him for my seriously bitchy comment this morning.

“You do the heavy lifting and I’ll nail them shut.”

“Maybe you should ask your doctor friend if he’d like to nail you.”

I sighed. And there goes civil Tony, nearly as quickly as he came. I was half tempted to make a dirty joke about that train of thought. But the man did not need any encouragement. I picked up a wrench and eyed off his head with a glare. All I got in return was a cocky grin. It was going to be a long night.

It was nearly dawn by the time the circle of piping was finished. I’d had enough and went back to my room to get a nap in while Tony fucked around getting it all level. My shoulders and back ached from keeping the heavy pipes in place while bolting it all together. But at least it was one thing done. I was 2 steps away from the guest room door as I ran into Coulson.

“Rough night?” Coulson eyed me off, looking concerned and a little amused at my rumpled state.

“I didn’t kill him,” I said tiredly. “I didn’t even maim him.”

That was a lie. I purposely dropped a heavy wrench on Tony’s foot about 0200 this morning when he was trying to provoke a reaction out of me again. I’d been right and Greg had been sleeping most of the day, so he was chatty all night. At least Tony stayed out of my phone this time, despite his constant comments about telling me to send Greg a nude and be done with it. I wasn’t sure how much more of obnoxious Tony I could take. His well mannered button must only work at rare intervals because I didn’t get anything except snark and dirty humour all fucking night long.

“I’m very proud of you for that,” Coulson said with mock seriousness. “Pack your bag, we’ve been reassigned.”

“You’re fucking kidding me?” I stared at Coulson, not believing I’d heard him correctly.

“Afraid not.” Coulson shrugged, looking apologetic. “We’re off the New Mexico, driving there too. So pack your bags and you can sleep in the car.”

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hug Coulson for getting me out of here so quickly, or thrown a tantrum because we were about to have a 13 hour drive.

“Unless you want to spend another week here by yourself?” Coulson asked at my hesitation. “Or longer.”

I shot off, taking the last few steps at a run to get to the guest room to pack my bag. There was no way in hell I was going to stay here by myself for an undisclosed amount of time. There was a bright side to going to New Mexico. I’d at least have Clint to hang out with while we were there, doing god knows what.

“Does this have to do with Jane Foster?” I asked over my shoulder as I started to throw my clothes into a bag. The room looked like a bit of a disaster area thanks to my lack of care factor over the last few days.

“More like an 084,” Coulson said, leaning in the doorframe. I paused mid throw and looked at him in confusion.

“What’s an 084?”

“You will soon learn young Padawin,” Coulson said dramatically, an excited look starting to play over his face. I rolled my eyes at the Star Wars reference. Coulson could be a big geek when he wanted to be. “Do you want to say goodbye to your new friend?”

I was sure if I went back into the workshop I’d end up punching Tony in the face. Lack of sleep did not make me a gracious person

“I will wait for you in the car.”

 

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a lot shorter than normal, sorry about that everyone. There wasn't a lot Kari could do in Iron Man 2, but there needed to be something to set up a few thing later. I couldn't find a natural break for it either, so it got cut off well below my usual target of words. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and to anyone who leaves a comment or kudos!


	56. Chapter 56

I looked at the phone on the dashboard of the car as it buzzed. Again. It'd been the 5th time in the last 10 minutes a message had come through. Coulson's phone was always going off, but not normally like this. He was never quick to snatch it up and send a reply text back either, especially while he was driving. But that's exactly what he did. Before my fingers could move an inch towards the phone, it was snatched into his hands. The phone screen was even turned away from me at an angle I couldn't snoop in the window reflection either. Judging by the little smile ghosting over his lips, it definitely wasn't someone from work either.

I'd slept on and off for most of the day into the road trip. Coulson had stopped late afternoon break and pushed me out of the passenger seat in a bid to go get coffee. After a coffee and Red Bull, I was awake, probably a little too awake and bored out of my mind. The sun had set a few hours ago now, leaving nothing to look at.

"So," I started, putting my feet up on the dashboard. "Wanna play I spy?"

"Are you going to start asking me 'are we there yet' every 5 seconds if I don't?" Coulson asked with a bemused smile on his face. "Because I will throw you out of the car if you start that. Do I even need to voice what I'm about to tell you?"

I obediently got my feet off the dash.

"I'm bored and my reception is shitty out here," I complained, pulling a face. I hadn't gotten any cell reception for a few miles now. "That Red Bull was a bad idea too."

"I told you so." Coulson looked over at me small smirk. "You could be sleeping and I could be enjoying my easy listening radio channel. But you insisted you had to get it."

"Only old people listen to the easy listening radio channel," I teased, pleased and curious about Coulson's good mood. I didn't doubt it had something to do with whoever was texting him. Now I had to find out who it was. In the year I'd know Coulson now, he'd never had any lady company. He was also a lot more discreet than the 3 of us though. He could have a wife and kids hidden somewhere and none of us would know.

"One day you're going to be my age and I plan on being around to tease you relentlessly about listening to Taylor Swift," Coulson's swift reply didn't disappoint. "And all the other terrible pop music you like."

"It's only terrible pop music when I sing along to it," I said with a small laugh. "Musically talented, I am not."

"Musically talented the three of you are not," Coulson laughed with me, shaking his head. "Have you ever heard Barton try and sing in the shower?"

"Yep." I cringed. Clint often used our showers at work and he had no problems in singing while he was in there. Clint's singing was as bad as Jared's. "Of all his bad habits, why couldn't you kick that one out of him Coulson?"

"Even I'm not that much of a miracle worker," Coulson said with a chuckle. Whatever else he was going to say died on his lips as his phone chimed. He quickly grabbed it, looking over the screen before tapping out a reply.

"Do you want me to drive?" It was a little disconcerting to have Coulson texting and driving at the same time.

"No, I get car sick when you drive." Coulson didn't look up from his phone. "It's a good thing you're an excellent pilot because your driving sucks."

"Hey, no one else complains," I said with a mock pout. "Well, maybe Hawk does but no one important complains."

That made Coulson laugh. He finished typing his text message and put the phone up without saying anything else. Curiosity was getting the better of me. I stared at the phone on the dashboard, waiting for my opportunity to snatch it up. It didn't go unnoticed. Coulson reached up and moved the phone well out of my reach.

"Her name is Audrey, and it's all very new," there was a clear warning in Coulson's tone. "So new that even Barton doesn't know about it yet."

"What does she do?" I tried not to be too gleeful I was being let in on the new secret. But I couldn't squash it down. It was someone else's turn to be teased about their love life.

"She's a cello player." The look on Coulson's face turned a little dreamy. He might not outwardly show it, but he was a real romantic at heart. "We met just before I got assigned to Stark."

"And?" I prompted, feeling a silly grin come onto my face. This must be a good story for Coulson to be playing coy about the details. I wouldn't be surprised if Coulson had swooped in there and saved the day, getting the girl in the process.

"And what?" Coulson teased, turning to look at me. "I'm not giving out the details yet. If I give you too much information I feel like she'll have the three of you drop in and give her a shovel talk. Whatever we are is not ready for you 3 yet."

"Never," I smiled innocently. "Well, I wouldn't. I can't speak for the other 2. I think its cute."

"Thanks," Coulson said dryly. "Not sure if cute is the right word for it."

Coulson's phone chimed as another message came through. I crossed my arms with a grin, looking at him expectedly.

"We're making dinner plans for when I get back," Coulson admitted with a small sigh, even though he was smiling as he picked up his phone again. "She's very chatty. Kind of like you and Greg."

Almost on cue my phone vibrated a few times as I finally got some reception and my messages started coming through. Coulson's dry look spoke more than words could as I snatched up my own phone and started to look at the messages.

"They aren't all from Greg," I said defensively as the phone kept vibrating in my hand. We must have been out of reception for longer than I thought. The majority were from Jared, who must have been bored all day long judging by the amount of messages I was getting from him. Greg had been chatty while I was awake enough to reply from his messages. I hadn't heard from Gareth all day except for a good morning text. The last message to come through was a cute short video of Alexi doing a roll in her gymnastics class. It made me grin like an idiot. I turned the phone to show it to Coulson before he could ask what I was grinning about.

"She's growing up so quick," Coulson's smile looked a little wistful. "I remember when Evans announced Abby was pregnant with Alexi. I've never seen a man look so happy and terrified at the same time. Is that a gas station ahead?"

I looked up and followed Coulson's line of sight. He was right, in the distance there was a gas station. I nodded in confirmation of what I saw.

"Good, I'm hungry and we could do with gas," Coulson said, rolling his neck. "And a leg stretch."

I wasn't going to complain. Give it another 5 minutes and I'd start harassing Coulson to find somewhere for me to pee. I wouldn't put it past him to pull over to the side of the road and simply point. The gas station came up quickly and Coulson got out to fill up while I got out and found the small, but thankfully clean bathroom. I quickly finished and went around the front of find Coulson.

"Hey Coulson I…" I trailed off at the scene in front of me. There were 2 shotguns immediately pointed in my face. I glared at the wannabe robbers with a look of complete disdain. They were both shaking so much I doubted they'd be able to hit me if they tried. "Seriously?"

The poor cashier looked like she was ready to cry. She had her hands up, cringing away trying to make herself seem as small as possible. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Coulson right down the back of the store, holding up his hands looking calm.

"Put your hands up!" the shorter of the pair yelled, waving the shotgun in my face.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Coulson move over one aisle, bending down to pick something up. The two robbers were too intent on me to notice him. A second later a bag of flour came flying at the head of one of them. As it smashed into the taller one's head, I made my move.

I reached up and snatched the shotgun out of the short ones hands. His grip was sloppy and it was easy to yank it away. I flipped it around in a smooth motion and slammed the butt of it across the short robbers face. The look of shock before he crumpled to the ground was comical. The sound of a shot going off made me jump, I turned to catch the taller robber hitting the ground and Coulson standing over him.

"You had to pick the gas station with robbers?" I asked, giving Coulson a look of complete exasperation. I hoped it'd be the same look he'd give if the situation happened to Natasha, Clint or I.

"You be quiet," Coulson said, strolling up to the counter with a look of nonchalance on his face. He had 2 packets of donuts in his hands. Like nothing had happened, he placed them on the counter of the still shocked cashier. "I couldn't decide."

"Can I get a drink?" I asked, stepping over the unconscious robber. I purposely kicked him in the face as I went. It was strangely satisfying to hear his nose crunch under my sneaker. Even if it did hurt my foot a little. If we hadn't been here, the poor cashier could have had a really bad night.

"No Red Bull," Coulson warned me. "Make it quick."

I shot off to the back of the store to grab my drink. On impulse I grabbed some Pringles in case Coulson didn't feel like sharing his donuts. Armed with a chocolate milk and Pringles, I went back to the counter to hear Coulson give out some much needed advice to the shocked cashier.

"Tell them those Tae Bo tapes really paid off," Coulson said in the most dead panned voice I'd ever heard him do. The cashier looked at Coulson in mild horror. Coulson said nothing else and picked his donuts up. The way he walked out could only be described as a strut. Nothing was said as we got back into the car. The smug look creeping onto Coulson's face made me turn to look at him. I couldn't keep my own grin under control.

"You were playing the Captain America theme song in your head the entire time, weren't you?" I asked, my cheeks hurting from stopping the shit eating grin appearing on my face too much.

"I can neither confirm or deny that statement."

The grin on Coulson's face said it all. I had nothing else to say, except to raise my fist and hold it there expectingly. Coulson didn't disappoint, he fist bumped with me straight away.

"STRIKE Team Delta would make a very cool vigilant team name," I grinned happily. At least there was a little excitement in this long road trip. "Like the A Team, but so much better."

"I am not encouraging this idea." Despite his words, Coulson was laughing heartily. "No matter how awesome it sounds. Come on, lets get going. Donut?"

It took another few hours to get to Clint's location. He was staying in a caravan a few miles out of the town. I was stiff and cramped by the time we pulled up, but it didn't stop me jumping out of the car to greet Clint. He wrapped me up in a near crushing hug. Ever since Natasha went to Stark Industries it'd been Clint and I. It had felt really odd not seeing him for the last few weeks. I'd even go as far as to say I'd missed him. After he released me, Clint started to debris Coulson as we ushered inside. The caravan was small, but functional enough. I sat on the bed while Clint claimed the couch and Coulson sat by the small dining table.

Jane Foster has been about 50 miles out of town investigating a storm anomaly yesterday night. Then in the early hours of this morning, people had started driving out towards the site where she'd been, saying there was a hammer out there. Clint thought people were playing an elaborate prank, but the rumours had been true. A hammer stuck in the ground that no one could move. It was like a fucked up version of King Arthur. Clint even had a go at trying to budge it and was very adamant the thing would not move. Someone had lost the tray off their pickup to prove it. Everyone had cleared out as soon as it got dark, Clint hadn't long gotten back from the site himself.

"It's not going anywhere," Coulson said with a sigh after Clint finished. "Lets grab a couple of hours sleep and head out there first thing in the morning."

"Sounds like a plan," Clint nodded in agreement. He looked tired, but more from boredom than actual physical activity. "You can scoot over Kari, I'm not sleeping on the floor."

"Ugh, why do I always end up sharing a bed with you?" I asked with a wrinkled nose, but complied anyway. I'd already taken my shoes off and I was happy to sleep in what I was wearing.

"Because Coulson snores and hogs the blankets," Clint said smartly, sending a sly look over his shoulder at Coulson. All he got for his smart ass remark was an eye roll as Coulson got up and started to pull the couch out. I flopped down onto the bed, taking the solitary pillow. It'd been a long trip and I was happy to get another few hours of sleep.

Morning came around far too quickly. One second my eyes were shut and the next Coulson was shaking both Clint and I awake. To his credit, Coulson already had coffee made so there wasn't too much grumbling about getting out of bed before the sun was barely starting to peek over the horizon. The drive to their site was quiet except for Clint's directions. In the 40 minute drive, the sun had come up and chased away the last bits of the brisk morning air. The crater where the 084 landed was already packed with cars and people, despite the early hour. Even from the height we were at, you could clearly see a hammer embedded in a circle of rocks.

"Told you so," Clint sounded smugly proud as Coulson and I gazed down at it. There was a guy trying to move the hammer, but like Clint had said. It wouldn't budge.

Coulson said nothing. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, pressing a few buttons and then putting it to his ear. I strained to hear the person on the other end of the line as Coulson spoke.

"Sir, we found it."

The phone call ended up being mostly one sided and Coulson having a look of pained exasperation on his face. Clint and I got bored exactly 2 minutes into the phone call and started throwing rocks at each other.

"Seriously?" Coulson asked. The look of exasperation switched to pissed off very quickly. He hadn't bothered to cover the phone either. We both dropped the rocks in our hands with identical guilty expressions and let Coulson finish his phone call without any further interruptions.

"What's the plan?" Clint asked as soon as Coulson hung up from his call.

"A team will be here in 40 minutes." Coulson started walking down the rocky slope. "We need to clear the area. Biological or radioactive?"

"Radioactive for sure." Clint bounded down the slope after him. I followed at a much more sedate pace, not trusting myself on the rocky outcrop. I didn't need to ruin my morning by sliding down on ass in front of 30 people. By the time I got down to the bottom Coulson had everyone gathered around him.

"Due to the radioactive nature of this fallen satellite, I'm going to have to ask everyone to clear our," Coulson's voice rang out clearly across the canyon. "If we could all clear out in an orderly fashion, it would be much appreciated."

There was plenty of grumbling but no one stuck around for long. The words radioactive tended to make people get out of places pretty quickly. Once the canyon was cleared, I couldn't help myself. I walked over to the 084 and got a closer look. It was a massive hammer. Something that looked like it belonged in the Middle Ages. I grabbed the handle and gave it a small tug. The only thing I succeeded in doing was nearly pulling a shoulder muscle. Wincing, I rubbed my shoulder and eyed off what was in front of me.

It was beyond weird. But I couldn't help but to think back to stories Grams used to tell us when I was young. After her dealings with HYDRA in World War 2 she was a firm believer in Norse mythology having some truth to it. She might have some idea on what this might be.

"Coulson?" I called out.

"What?"

"Can I take a photo and send it to Grams?"

He nodded in confirmation and went back to talking with Clint. I pulled my phone out and unlocked it. The screen looked like an old TV getting interference. I could barely get it to function well enough to take a photo. Whatever the hammer was, it was giving off some pretty severe interference. Coulson seemed to have phone reception away from it, so I took a dozen steps back. The further I got away from it, the better my phone was. The photo turned out perfectly fine, despite the problems I had taking it.

"That's not fucking creepy at all," I muttered, opening up a new email and attached the photo to it. Grams probably wouldn't get it until later tonight when she got inside. But she'd appreciate the weirdness of it. I went back over to Coulson and Clint who were still deep in conversation.

"And we'll head into town and do the confiscation once the rest of the group gets here."

I caught the tail end of what Coulson was saying. Confiscation didn't sound like it was going to be a fun job. I didn't need to butt into the conversation to ask what was going on. Poor Dr Foster was about to have her life work taken away from her.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked, quickly jumping in before their conversation got going again.

"You can take the sniper rifle out and fire warning shots at anyone who comes close." Coulson's answered surprised the hell out of me. "We have a team coming in, ETA 45 minutes, so keep everyone away until then."

I nodded, trying not to let my glee show too much. Judging by the pout on Clint's face, he wanted the job. I wasn't going to argue. I hauled ass back up the car as quickly as I could without breaking an ankle. In the boot of the car was my AWSM case, the silver stars and my name on it starting to fade a little by now. It was hard to believe in a few weeks it'd be a year since we were at Bagram base looking for Tony Stark. I didn't dwell on it too much. I quickly unpacked the AWSM and headed out to the highest point I could see to set up. While I was walking there, I put in a comms unit so I could pick up the SHIELD chatter when it got close.

After the last few weeks, it was very peaceful sitting up on the small ridge I'd found and peering through my sniper scope. There was nothing around here for miles. The only thing moving was Coulson and Clint. Coulson went back to the car and Clint disappeared on the other side of the canyon with his bow.

Whatever that hammer was, had done well to pick a spot in the middle of nowhere to fall. It really was a barren wasteland around here. Despite the boredom creeping in, it was still nice to be behind the AWSM for the first time since Pripyat. Exactly 44 minutes later the radio call from a Quinjet pilot came in asking for visual confirmation for a landing site.

As soon as the first Quinjet landed, a second and third were right behind it. The canyon was a hive of activity within minutes. I'd never seen so much gear unloaded so quickly. A STRIKE team was onsite as well, Charlie team judging by the few faces I knew.

"Kari," Coulson's voice crackled in my ear.

I winced at the distortion before reaching up to turn my own mic on.

"Copy, Coulson," I said, dragging myself away from the scope.

"I'm sending the Charlie marksman up." Coulson's voice was barely distinguishable over the interference. "Come down once you swap positions."

"Copy that," I confirmed.

I scanned the area looking for Swanson, the Charlie team marksman. I knew him well enough to have a conversation with him. Most of the Charlie team guys were friendly and I got along with them well. It only took a few minutes to spot the familiar face coming up towards me. I raised my hand in greeting and to give him my position. It took a few seconds of him scanning the area to spot me. When he raised his hand in acknowledgement, I noticed the wrist brace on his left wrist.

"If you didn't jerk off so much you wouldn't have these problems," I teased as soon he got within earshot, pointing to his wrist. "Did you want it to feel like someone else was jerking you off?"

"Yeah because I haven't heard that one at all lately," Swanson replied with a laugh, shaking his head at me. "Though it does sound much better than the real reason."

"Which is?" I asked curiously as I got up and brushed the dirt off.

"Fell down the stairs," Swanson said, looking a little sheepish. "There may have been a dare and a lot of beer involved. You missed the keg party."

Of course I did. I still hadn't been to the infamous STRIKE keg parties. Every time there was one on, I was on the other side of the planet or half dead.

"I always miss the keg parties," I grumbled as I bent down and picked up my AWSM. "Did you get a real stripper for this one?"

"No, this one was tame," Swanson chuckled. "There was barely any nudity and besides me, no one went to the hospital or got arrested."

"Then it isn't a real STRIKE keg party," I laughed. Despite not ever going to one, the stories about them were pretty wild. "Have fun up here. There's nothing here except for dirt and rocks."

"Yeah, thanks," Swanson said sarcastically as he settled himself onto the ground.

With a goodbye to Swanson, I skidded and slid back down the slope and jogged over to Coulson's position. He was coordinating with a massive group of people about securing the area once the convoy arrived. From the tail end of the brief I caught, just setting up camp around this thing was going to be a monumental task. I was glad to be tagging along with Coulson instead of staying back here and setting up. While I'd be heading down the slope, a convoy of SHIELD vehicles had shown up bringing even more equipment with them. It was incredible how quickly Coulson got everything happening here. He really was the master of organisation.

It only took another 5 minutes to get the convoy of cars and vans ready. I wasn't surprised when Coulson motioned for me to get into the lead car with him. I even got to claim the front seat before Clint could come over and pull me out of it. Judging by the look Clint was giving me, he was going to get his revenge some other way. I'm sure I wouldn't like it either.

The drive to town was quiet, as it was earlier this morning. Coulson had a grim look on his face like he wasn't going to enjoy what he was about to do. I didn't blame him, I wasn't thrilled about it either. Taking someone's life work was a pretty low blow, no matter how necessary SHIELD declared it to be.

Jane Foster's lab was right on the edges of the town. Puente Antiguo was a typical small country town. Beyond the small strip of shops, it was like the rest of the countryside. Desolate and barren. A bitterly cold wind had picked up during the drive into town, leaving me shivering as soon as I stepped out of the car. I didn't need to say anything, Clint handed his jacket over straight away.

"I learnt the hard way how fucking cold and windy it gets out here," Clint said dryly, pulling his shirt away to show me the thermal undershirt he had on. The other agents around us were all huddling into their own jackets or warmer clothes. "Not to mention the random storms that come from nowhere."

"Fantastic," I muttered, pulling his jacket on. It was ridiculously big, but warm enough that I didn't care. I felt the cold so badly, but at least I wasn't the only one.

"Listen up everyone," Coulson's voice rang out across the small crowd of SHIELD agents that had come along. "I need everything and I mean everything. Lets go."

Coulson's tone left no room for argument. Everyone scuttled off to get into the building as quickly as possible. I hung back with Clint, waiting for everyone else to start before stepping into the large space. Clint stayed outside, taking up an obvious guard position.

Dr Foster's observatory was empty. It wasn't even locked giving all of us easy access. There was equipment everywhere. The only thing I could recognise was a few computers. The rest looked like gadgets put together from scraps of junk. I felt guilt gnaw at me as I began to carefully take down the photos off the board closest to the door. I didn't have enough time to look at them. Not that it would have made sense to me anyway. It all looked like a blur of colour to me. Though one IR photo vaguely looked like a person. I couldn't help but stare at it, trying to make sense of the shadow and blur of colours.

"Kari, can you go out to Dr Foster's trailer and make sure there's none of her work in there?" Coulson called from where ever he was across the room. I jumped and guilty put the photo in the box quickly before I could get in trouble for procrastinating.

"On my way," I called back. I looked outside for an idea where her trailer was. It wasn't hard to find, it was in clear sight of the observatory. As I walked out, Clint tagged along with me.

"I don't need a bodyguard," I said, resisting the urge to roll my eyes at him.

"No, but I'm bored and it's not like I can't see for miles around here." Clint gave me a playful shove. It was hard enough to nearly knock me off my feet. I scowled at him as I adjusted myself, hoping no one else saw my stumble.

"Asshole." I turned and punched him in the arm. All I got for my troubles was a sore fist and Clint laughing at me. I was going to have to get back to the gym soon otherwise I'd never hear the end of the teasing.

"Yeah but you missed me," Clint said, slinging his arm over my shoulders and pulling me in for an awkward hug. It was situations like this that definitely fed the rumours of us fucking. I could almost feel the stares on my back as we walked away.

"Someone has to," I teased back, putting my arm around his waist and giving Clint a squeeze. These last few weeks had felt like an eternity away from everyone.

"I'll have you know, my wife misses me greatly at the moment," Clint said gleefully, the smile looking like it could never be wiped off his face. We were far away enough no one else would hear us. "I may even get some when I get home."

Thank fucking god for that. Clint and Laura had been through such a rough patch since Pripyat I feared the worst there for a while. It was an enormous relief to hear things might start being normal for them again.

"Laura said when we all get home, we have to go out to dinner," Clint continued. "It's been ages since we did that."

"It really has been," I said, trying to stretch my mind back to when we'd last done had a family dinner. It was well before Pripyat. "HeeBeen?"

Greg still owned me lunch at Sushi Taro as well. Not to mention I'd promised Alexi ice cream and a trip to the park. I was going to be a socialite when I finally got back to DC.

"Fuck yes." Clint didn't hesitate in his answer. "And lets go to JoJo for wings and $3 beer jug night. God I've missed civilisation and people I actually like."

"You and me both," I chuckled a little. The door to Dr Foster's trailer was open, so I was able to walk straight in. The cramped caravan was a mess. There were clothes strewn everywhere, the sink was piled high with dirty dishes. But there didn't look to be anything of value in here. She had a few novels scattered around the place. Except for a few photos of Dr Foster and another dark haired woman, there wasn't anything personal in the trailer at all.

"There's nothing here," I said, the ever growing guilt steadily gnawing away at my conscious. Everything in Dr Foster's life was currently being packed up by SHIELD agents. We were about to ruin everything she had.

"I hate doing shit like this," Clint admitted quietly, letting out a small sigh as he looked around the small caravan. "This isn't dangerous, it's just someones fascination with space."

"I feel terrible." I grimaced, taking one final look around the small space. "I know what its like to have SHIELD come in and rip everything from underneath you. At least I got a mostly happy ending. This doesn't seem like it's going to end well."

Clint reached over and gave my hand a squeeze.

"She's such a nice person too," Clint said, his gaze going to the few photos on the wall. "So is Dr Selvig and her assistant Darcy. They're just normal people wanting to make a difference in the world."

"Hopefully SHIELD will at least compensate them for all the stuff we're taking." My gaze went to outside where the agents were still filling vans full of equipment. "That's a lot of money we're taking."

My phone started to ring in my pocket, making both Clint and I jump in surprise. I pulled it out and was ready to send it to voicemail before I checked the caller ID. It was Grams.

"Hey Grams," I answered the phone, putting it on loudspeaker for Clint to hear as well. "Did you get my email?"

It was a stupid question. Grams rarely rung out of the blue. Despite her age, she was definitely a texter or she'd email.

"I did," Grams said in her brisk, no nonsense tone that she used when she was really interested in something. "Tell me more."

"Dr Jane Foster has been studying the Einstein-Rosen Bridge," Clint filled in for me. "The night before last there was some interesting electrical activity in the area. From what I can tell, she found something in that storm. The hammer was found a few hours later. No one can move it."

"It looks very Norse," Grams mused, almost like she was talking to herself. "Einstein-Rosen Bridge is basically a wormhole, isn't it?"

"Yeah it's the same theory about how Jared teleports," I confirmed. "Dad has been following Dr Foster's work for a while now and he says her theories are correct."

"And it seems she's found proof of her theories," Grams said. I could almost hear her nodding in agreement. "Maybe Schmidt wasn't as crazy as we first thought."

The last part sounded like Grams was mostly talking to herself. Both Clint and I exchanged identical confused looks. But then it clicked where I knew that name.

"Red Skull," I mouthed quietly to Clint. The confused look fell away from his face instantly and he nodded in understanding.

"His entire thing with the Tesseract, besides its unlimited power was all about Norse gods," Grams let out a breathless laugh. "There might have been some truth behind it all."

"I don't follow?" I said, looking over to Clint for clarification. He shrugged and had a confused expression on his face as well.

"Schmidt believed that mythology was science we hadn't studied properly yet," Grams clarified. "He was particularly obsessed with the old Norse religion, mainly because of the Tesseract. He was convinced the old Norse gods were real. That they'd been here before." There was something else in Grams tone. I'd heard the stories about the Red Skull and HYDRA from Grams before. But this was something new.

"You sound like you believed him," I said carefully, not quite sure I was believing what was going on here.

"There are a lot of crazy and unexplained things in this world Kari," Grams said, she sounded a little lost in a memory. "It's not the stupidest thing I've heard. Some of his research that I saw didn't sound as crazy as you'd think. Keep an open mind and ring me if you find anything else."

"Will do, talk later." I knew a dismissal from Grams when I heard one. She'd been helpful and infuriatingly vague all at the same time. Whatever this was, it had us all stumped and fascinated at the same time.

"I'll ring you later," Grams said, sounding like she'd shaken herself out of whatever it was that was bothering her. She hung up before I could say anything else.

"That was weird." Clint looked as confused as I felt. "I've never heard your Grams sound so vague before."

"Trust me, she can be frustratingly vague when she wants to be," I said dryly, still looking at my phone and the now blank screen. "I hope I didn't stir up too many bad memories for her."

As tough as she was, there were still things Grams had trouble talking about from World War 2. Certain things about HYDRA and the Red Skull were definitely one of those topics. We all had our demons. I'd never poked around Grams before.

"She'll be fine Kari, she sounded more interested than upset," Clint reassured me. He took one final look around the caravan with a small sigh. "Maybe she'll even fly out here herself. I wouldn't put it past her."

That thought put a small smile on my face. It wouldn't surprise me if Grams really did rock up in a helicopter in a few hours.

"Come on, lets get out of here." Clint gave the couch a little kick. His good mood from before seemed be dampened by what we were doing. "Hopefully we procrastinated enough that we don't have to help with the rest of the lab."

I looked outside to see if Clint was right. The observatory was looking empty and 2 vans in our convoy had already left. The team Coulson brought with him were incredibly efficient. Not that I'd ever expect anything less. I had a feeling we might have been sent out here to keep from getting underfoot.

"Yeah, sounds good to me." I didn't wait for Clint. The sooner we got out of here the better. I'd rather not be around when Dr Foster showed up. I opened the door and made my way back to Coulson's car. As my luck would have it, as soon as I showed up, Dr Foster came running through her observatory.

"Hey! That's my stuff!" Dr Foster came up to the van, trying desperately to grab some of her stuff back. The agent who was carting her stuff simply side stepped around her and ignored her. Dr Foster tried to grab something off him, but Coulson quickly stepped in.

"What the hell is going here?" Dr Foster demanded, frowning up at Coulson. She was a small woman and definitely didn't paint a threatening picture.

"Ms Foster, I'm Agent Coulson with SHIELD," Coulson began, keeping his voice neutral.

I cringed at Coulson's incorrect use of her name. People with PhD's could be very pissy when they weren't referred to as Doctor.

"I don't care who you work for," Dr Foster seethed. "You can't do this!"

Before Coulson could reply, the middle aged man with her dragged Dr Foster back and murmured something too quiet for me to hear. I stood next to Coulson trying to keep my own expression neutral, despite how guilty I felt. I'd been in her shoes before. I knew how horrible this way to have your entire life ripped out from underneath you.

"Let it go?!" despite her colleague being quiet, Dr Foster didn't bother to lower her voice. "This is my life!"

"We're here investigating a security threat," Coulson said calmly as he started to walk towards the van. Dr Foster was right on his heels. "We need to appropriate your equipment and all your atmospheric data."

"By appropriate, you mean steal," Dr Foster was quick to snap back at Coulson. She looked on the verge of tears. Behind me, I could hear Clint clear his throat uncomfortably. Even Coulson looked like he was ready to start squirming. But he kept his professional face on. Dr Foster made it to the closest van and the agent there very gently blocked her from getting in there.

"This should more than compensate you for your trouble," Coulson kept his calm facade, taking a cheque out of his pocket, handing it over to Dr Foster.

Dr Foster didn't even look at the cheque, she threw it straight on the ground. For good measure, she stomped it into the ground before scowling up at Coulson. I hid my smile, even as upset as she was, she still had some fire about her.

"I can't just pick up replacements from RadioShack. I made most of this equipment myself," Dr Foster entire body was shaking. Despite her rage, I thought she was about to cry at any second.

"Then I'm sure you can do it again," Coulson said patiently. Even his calm face was starting to wear a little thin. Though whether it was frustration or guilt, I couldn't tell.

"And I'm sure I can sue you for my constitutional rights," Dr Foster fired back quickly. I inwardly winced at the bad threat. No amount of throwing around constitutional rights would help Dr Foster here. SHIELD played by their own rules.

"I'm sorry Ms Foster, but we're the good guys," Coulson said patiently. He looked genuinely sorry too.

"So are we," Dr Foster said, the passion clear in her voice. "I'm on the verge of something extraordinary. Everything I know about this phenomenon is in this lab and in this book and no one has the right to take it away from me."

I closed my eyes briefly at her poor choice of words. No sooner had she held the book up, the agent that was packing the van grabbed it from her hand as Coulson's nod.

"Hey!" Jane lunged forward to try and retrieve her book. I quickly stepped in between her and the agent before it could get messy.

"Easy, easy," Dr Foster's male colleague stepped in and pulled her back, shooting me a dirty look. I held my hands up in what I hoped to be a non threatening manner. It probably didn't help my look, considering I was armed. Dr Foster looked up to me, as if she was noticing me for the first time.

"Please don't do this," her voice was choked up as she looked at me.

"I'm sorry." It was so insignificant for me to say. But there really wasn't anything I could do. As much as I hated it, I turned away and headed back to the car we'd come in. Clint was right on my heels. Judging by the expression on his face as soon as he turned away, he was feeling as shitty as I was.

"Thank you for your cooperation," Coulson's voice carried back to Clint and I. I heard the back doors of the van slam and the cars started to move away. It only took a few seconds for Coulson to get into the car with us. He was silent as he slammed the door shut and pulled away with the rest of the convoy.

It took 5 minutes before Clint broke the silence.

"What's so important about all this?" Clint turned to Coulson in the front seat, the irritation clear all over his face. "It's a fucking scientific research project."

Coulson sighed, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel. It took him a few moments before he could reply.

"Because we don't want research like this falling into the wrong hands." Coulson sounded like he was having to pick his words very carefully. "I know it sucks, but think of it this way. How would you feel if someone who isn't a friendly came in, took the research by force because they wanted some way of being able to travel anywhere in the world. Or elsewhere."

"So in other words, Jared's fuck up in Pripyat turned heads." The bitterness in Clint's voice wasn't lost on me. "And someones life work just happens to be the same way he got us out of there before we all got blown to pieces."

"I don't like this anymore than you do Clint," Coulson said firmly, turning to look at Clint. "I'm not blaming Jared, but yes, people ask questions about how you got the fuck out of there. Yelena isn't exactly the type to stay silent about what she tried to do. So bad people like things like Jared has. Having the ability to move anywhere in the world within seconds would be very handy. Being able to replicate it would be a nightmare for people like us."

Coulson's little rant made me squirm in my seat. It felt like Pripyat was never going to stop biting us in the ass. Because of Jared's recklessness, we just ruined someone's life work. The only good part of today was that SHIELD found Dr Foster's work first. Not someone who wouldn't hesitate to shoot everyone to get it.

"Still sucks," Clint grumbled.

"Yeah it sucks balls." Coulson gave Clint a strained smile. "Big ones. I don't like it anymore than you guys. But we have our orders."

I didn't have an answer to that. Neither did Clint. He turned to stare out of the window not bothering with a reply. It wasn't until his phone chimed as a message came through did a little smile come back onto his face. I took it as a sign and turned to my own phone to see who wanted to talk to me to pass the time.

Natasha had been quiet, but Jared had been annoyingly chatty. Gareth had sent me a text which was just a photo of him in the cockpit, giving me a thumbs up. I looked at that photo a little enviously. Early morning flights over the ocean were an incredible experience. He was lucky to snap one up. Greg had sent me a text a few hours earlier saying he was on night shift so he'd be quiet all day. Texting Jared kept me amused all the way back to the crash site and kept my mind off the horrible guilt I was feeling.

By the time we got back to the crash site an entire city had been set up on our absence. It was incredible at how much they got accomplished in the few hours we'd been gone. The last few pieces of equipment were being moved into place around where the hammer was. A perimeter had been set up around the hammer, with an operations centre and various other buildings off to the side.

"Fuck me." I couldn't help but raise both eyebrows at the small city that had appeared.

"Sitwell did a good job getting all this organised." Even Coulson looked mildly impressed. "I'm going to be caught up for a few hours, so you two can hold the perimeter, or just stay out of trouble that'd be great."

There wasn't much we could get into trouble with. I took my AWSM up on the ridge and relieved Swanson for a few hours. It took Clint about 5 minutes of being by himself to climb up the ridge and join me. The best part about being friends with Clint is that you never felt the need to fill the silence. He was just as comfortable sitting in silence as he was chatting my ear off. We alternated between gossiping like a pair of old women to sitting in absolute silence, watching the hive of activity around the hammer. The cell reception was patchy, but it was enough to keep up a steady stream of conversation with Gareth, Jared and Greg when he woke up for most of the afternoon.

"What if it's really from somewhere not on this world?" Clint suddenly changed the conversation we were having about explosives back to the weirdassery below us. We were both sitting up, crossed legged, knees touching side by side. You could see for miles around us so there as no point laying there peering through a scope. The sun was starting to set, making the already chilly day even colder. It'd be fucking freezing tonight. There wasn't a cloud in sight.

"You've seen weirder fucking things than aliens," I said with a small chuckle. To prove my point, I turned my palm upward and concentrated. There wasn't much moisture around here to play with my power. But I could make a small ball of ice easily enough.

"Yeah but," Clint seemed lost for an answer as he reached over and took the ball of ice out of my hand. He threw it up, catching it easily enough. "Aliens are weirder than you."

"I don't know if that's a compliment or not." I reached over and managed to snatch the ball of ice back off Clint. It was melting rapidly despite the cool air around us. Clint chuckled but didn't give me an answer. It took another few moments before Clint spoke again.

"So do you think it's alien?"

"I have no fucking idea," I shrugged, turning my gaze back down to our base camp. I threw the nearly melted piece of ice on the ground."It's a big universe out there. Grams might be right in some of the things we consider mythology is actually real shit we forgot about."

"Hmmm." Clint's gaze turned back out to the vast nothingness around us. He sat there with his chin resting on his hand, seemingly tuned out to the world. I knew him better though. He might be deep in thought but he'd be ready to spring into action at a moments notice. As we sat there, my thoughts turned back to the conversation with Grams. She hadn't said much, but what she had said really made you think. It wasn't such a crazy idea. It was arrogant to think we'd be the only intelligent life out there in the universe.

As night started to close in around us, Swanson came back up to the ridge, claiming he was bored and sick of people. I couldn't blame him. Snipers were a funny breed and definitely not the most sociable people in the world. Clint and I made our way back down to the temporary mess hall and grabbed some food. During the afternoon, more and more equipment had rolled in. So it wasn't too surprising to find a half decent meal. SHIELD certainly fed its agents better than the military ever did. Just as Clint and I finish dinner, we put our radios back in and heard some chatter.

"Delancy, Jackson, report?" It was Sitwell's voice over the radio.

"What's going on?" Clint frowned, reaching up to touch his ear to hear a little better. I did the same, wincing at the horrible feedback coming through the radio. Clint winced harder than me, rubbing his ears like it was physically hurting. It probably was. The feedback coming through his hearing aids would be terrible as well.

"Agents down, we've got a perimeter breech!"

I don't know who it was that called it out. But all of a sudden everyone got up and started running for towards the hammer site. The second Clint and I stepped out of the mess door, the rain started pouring down. I looked up at the sky mournfully as the freezing rain soaked me through in seconds. Where the hell had that come from? The next call to come over the radio was Coulson's voice.

"I need eyes up high. With a gun."

Clint and I didn't need to be told twice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay everyone. Real life is kicking me hard at the moment. I've been sick so I've only got the energy to write or do university. At the moment Uni wins out rather than writing.
> 
> I promise plenty of bad hammer jokes and snark in the next chapter!


	57. Chapter 57

My feet slid along the muddy ground as I raced to the opposite end of the compound. Clint had gone for the crane bucket and I was heading for the command tower. It wasn't an ideal position to shoot from but I didn't have time to go and set myself up on the hill.

"Barton, Kari, talk to me," Coulson's voice crackled to life in my ear. Despite the situation, he sounded calm and composed.

I was still climbing up the tower, winded by the swift run over here. Clint answered first, giving me time to get up the tall ladder. It was times like this I was very glad I wasn't scared of heights. Especially in the torrential downpour.

"You want me to slow him down Sir?" Clint asked, amusement dripping from his voice. "Or are you sending in more guys for him to beat up?"

I couldn't contain my snort of amusement. Over the radio I could almost hear Coulson rolling his eyes at Clint.

"I'll let you know." Coulson was all business. "Kari, where are you?"

In the little exchange I'd managed to get to the top of the tower, set up my AWSM with ease and I was peering through my scope, following the blur of shadows through the tunnel system they'd built around the hammer.

"Tower, in position," I said briskly, trying to mask my heavy breathing. I felt so out of shape. I was dreading what was going to happen when I got back to DC. Clint was going to kick my ass. I didn't even want to think was going to happen when Natasha got her hands on me. I shook my head, bringing myself back to what I was doing. I focused on the big guy running through the shadows of the tunnel system. "Hello there handsome."

All of a sudden 2 people came crashing out of the tunnels. One was one of the Charlie team boys and the other guy was a massive blond male.

"Whoa." I couldn't stop the exclamation slipping out. Riggs, the Charlie team guy was huge. His biceps were the size of my head. But the blond guy was even bigger. Riggs wasn't standing a chance as the 2 of them fought in the mud.

I couldn't get a clear shot of the intruder without hitting Riggs. I grumbled under my breath in frustration as Riggs delivered a brutal blow. It barely knocked down the bigger blonde guy. But it left Riggs wide open. With a brutal double chest kick that would even impress Natasha, Riggs went down into the mud. I swear I could hear his ribs crack from where I was position. The blonde guy didn't stop there. As Riggs crawled onto all fours, the intruder kicked him square in the face. Riggs went down and didn't move, though I could still see his chest moving through the scope. I didn't miss the hiss of sympathy coming from Clint either.

"I have a clear shot Coulson," I said briskly as the blonde guy stood up, wiping his hand across his face. It only succeeded in covering him in more mud as he walked back towards the hammer. His arrogance was incredible. The guy walked around like he was supposed to be there and we were the enemy.

"You better call it Coulson, cuz I'm starting to root for this guy," Clint added, he sounded amused and impressed by the display in front of us.

"Give him a warning shot Kari," Coulson's voice crackled to life in my ear. Those 6 words just made my night.

No sooner had the words left Coulson's mouth, I squeezed the trigger. A second later, the shot bounced off the metal support a few inches near the intruder. He didn't jump, he didn't even look around to see where the shot came from. It was like he had no idea a .338 was about to rip through his body and leave a big mess behind.

"The fuck?" Clint's echoed the words on my mind. There wasn't a lot of people who could shrug off a sniper shooting at them. This guy was either incredibly well trained, like Red Room trained, or he had no idea what damage I could actually do to him. Grams words from before echoed in my head, making me inch away from the trigger. This was definitely something new.

The intruder ripped the side of the structure away and strode in to where the hammer was. My position only let me see the shadow of him behind the wall as he walked straight up to the hammer. He paused a foot away from it, standing still for a few seconds.

"Last chance Sir," Clint's voice was back to all business. I took in a deep breath and got back into position. Even through the flimsy wall, I had a perfect shot.

"Wait." Coulson's firm command made my finger move away from the trigger again."I want to see this."

The intruder took a step forward, like he had all the confidence in the world for what was about to happen. I could just make out him gripping the hammer with one hand. As expected, the hammer didn't budge. The intruder went to 2 hands, looking like he was yanking with all his might. I don't know why, but I got the strangest feeling that whoever this guy was, he truly believed something was going to happen.

The strangled scream of anger and frustration made me jump as the intruder fell to his knees. It was a gut wrenching cry of someone who sounded like he was in serious pain. Like he'd just had something precious ripped away from him. I took my face away from the scope, swallowing hard at the anguish in his voice. I didn't know the man so why was I feeling sorry for him? He had broke into a secure complex and beat most of a STRIKE team down. He didn't deserve an ounce of pity coming from me. But I couldn't help but feel sympathy towards him. Whatever his mission was, he'd just failed in a big way. There was no hiding the raw agony in that scream of his.

"All right, shows over," Coulson's voice came over the radio. "Grounds units move in."

I blew out a small breath, rubbing my eyes tiredly. It'd been a long ass day and my little hit of adrenaline was wearing off quickly. I stayed up in the tower long enough to see the ground units move in and cuff our intruder. This night wasn't going to end well for whoever this guy was. I was half frozen and completely soaked through by the time I got back on the ground but thankfully the rain had eased up. Clint was waiting for me, bow slung over his back. He helped me down the last few rungs of the ladder before shrugging his jacket off.

"There was waterproof gear in the armoury," Clint said, looking exasperated as he handed his jacket over to me. I swapped him the jacket for my AWSM.

"I was more concerned about getting up into the tower so I could call first shot," I joked around my chattering teeth, gratefully pulling the jacket on. It was still warm from Clint's body heat, making me snuggle into it. "Cuz you never let me have any fun."

"I would have let you have first shot if you asked really nicely," Clint said with a small laugh. He gave me a fond look as he handed me back to AWSM. "You've come a long way."

"Still got a ways to go though." My smile fell a little, thinking back to watching the intruder and how bad I felt for him as he knelt to the ground screaming like he was in physical pain. I wasn't meant to feel sorry for people were we fighting against. But I couldn't help it.

"There is nothing wrong with a little empathy for people," Clint didn't need to ask what was going on in my head. I knew it was written all over my face. He reached over and gave me a small hug. I leant into his touch, enjoying the solid warmth that was Clint. It was nice to get a hug. I was feeling a little touch starved at the moment. "Come on, lets get you out of those wet clothes and see if Coulson wants us to interrogate him."

I nodded, letting go of Clint. Even in his warm jacket I was still shivering. Knowing my luck I'd catch pneumonia if I stayed in my wet clothes. I didn't need any more time off work this year. It was a good thing SHIELD has incredible health insurance and unlimited sick days otherwise I would have been very poor with all my time off. While I found my bag and got changed out of my wet clothes, Clint managed to get us both a coffee making the cool evening a little more bearable.

The entire compound is in chaos after our little intrusion. The dog squad on site had spread out and were looking for any signs of a partner or traces of where he had come from. What was left of the STRIKE team who didn't get an ass kicking were doing perimeter sweeps. I tagged along with Clint, pretending I knew what was going on, my mind ticking over the entire time. It was such a bizarre situation. It was almost like this guy was expecting that hammer to move when he touched it. There was no faking the anguish in his voice when it wouldn't budge. Everything Grams said kept coming back to the front of my mind.

It wasn't a huge area to cover so Clint and I ended up back at command centre. Coulson was stepping out just as we reached the room where the intruder was being held.

"Did you get anything out of him?" Clint asked, handing over the half a coffee he still had. Coulson took the cup, draining in a few quick gulps.

"Not a damn word," Coulson said, sounding frustrated. "Do either of you want to go in there?"

Clint's nose wrinkled in response, but I perked up quickly. I nodded, a little plan forming in my mind. Maybe what Grams had said earlier wasn't so crazy after all. Or the guy would think I was a nut job. Either way, I might be able to get something out of him.

"Be careful," Coulson warned me, before stepping aside to let me in the door. I felt a small rush of pride at his easy acceptance. I would have never been allowed to do this a few months ago. Clint was right, I really was coming along. As I stepped through the door, the intruder's mouth snapped shut like he was just talking to someone. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a flash of green. Tilting my head so I didn't give myself away, I got a better look at the corner of the room. There was nothing there. It was only my over active imagination.

I leant against the wall, propping one foot up on the wall and crossed my arms. Besides his brief glance at me, there was no expression on his face at all. I still had my AWSM slung across my back. The majority of people would at least look at it with mild interest. A tall woman with a big ass sniper rifle was more than enough to get people's attention. The way this guy sat was almost like he didn't know what it was. Or who SHIELD really were. But I had to admit, this guy was extremely good looking. Up close his muscle definition would put any of the STRIKE guys to shame. Even covered in mud, the guy looked like a god chiseled from marble.I stared at the guy for a long few moments, trying to work out how to put this into words.

"My Grandmother worked with a special division in World War 2," I decided to spit it out, no matter how stupid it may sound. "She saw…. things, that most people wouldn't consider."

Nothing. Not even a flicker of interest or acknowledgement coming from our intruder. Maybe the idea that the hammer wasn't of this Earth was as crazy as it sounded. It would certainly explain why he looked like he had no idea what was really going on around him.

"The Red Skull believed that Norse mythology wasn't a myth at all," I continued, feeling a little less confident than before. "So does my Grams. Most people would say she's crazy. But then again, lots of things back then were crazy."

The flicker of interest was so brief that I nearly missed it. I quickly squashed down my glee at getting some kind of reaction out of him.

"You looked so determined to get that hammer, like you knew something would happen if you lifted it," I pressed on, keeping my tone gentle trying to build a rapport with this guy. "What are we missing here?"

He finally looked up at me. The silence was almost deafening as he stared at me with intense blue eyes. The curiosity was there, but it was so brief. Now he just looked sad.

"What did you Grams believe?"

Hearing his voice nearly made me jump. I managed to squash it down and keep myself from grinning like a fool. I was so damn proud of myself all of a sudden.

"That Norse gods had been here before, that they were just beings for another part of the universe we don't know about," I said, keeping my voice carefully neutral despite how excited I felt. It was a little bit of a stretch of the truth, but given that I had his interest, I wasn't going to split hairs.

"Your Grams sounds like a smart woman," he said, almost sounding as sad as he looked. I tilted my head at him, hoping I'd get something more than that. But seconds ticked by and he went back to staring at the wall. I sighed quietly. So much for my good progress. But still, 2 sentences was better than nothing.

"If you feel like keeping this riveting conversation going, I'm Agent Lyngley," I said dryly, running out of patience as I pushed myself off the wall and walked to the door. "You can ask for me directly."

"Goodbye."

I nearly missed the softly spoken words. I turned to look at him and there was a flash of a dark haired man in green in the corner of my vision. It took every bit of my self control to not whirl around to see what it was. The slight turn of my head revealed an empty room. Again. It was a little creepy. Especially when he wasn't looking at me anymore, but to the corner where I swear I'd just seen someone. Or something. The feeling of someone watching me made the hairs on the corner of my neck stand up as I left the room.

I must be going a bit crazy from lack of sleep. It'd been a stupidly busy few weeks. My brain must have been playing tricks on me. There was no other explanation for seeing something that wasn't there. If there was someone in here with us, the security feed would have easily picked it up and I'd have Clint in here in a heartbeat.

"Well done." Coulson congratulated me with a smile on his face. It fell away as he looked at me a little more carefully. "What's up?"

"I got this creepy feeling like someone was in there watching me." I couldn't stop the little shudder that passed through me. It was a bizarre feeling. "I think I'm overtired."

"Nothing on the security feed," Clint put in, looking at me with concern all over his face. "We were watching the entire time. You think there's an Enhanced hanging around?"

"No." I shook my head, pushing it out of my mind. There was nothing on the security feed so it really was my imagination. "It was probably just my brain being stupid."

"Just like your face," Clint quipped at me. I scowled and reached over, punching him in the arm. It hurt my fist, but it also made him flinch. The serious mood of the last 45 minutes was gone in an instant.

"Anything is better than your face," I shot back.

"If you two are going to argue like 5 year olds, get out," Coulson groaned, giving Clint a shove in the direction of the door. Coulson looked like he was having a hard time keeping a smile off his face despite kicking us out. "Go play with the hammer, or something."

"Does this mean we've got hammer time?" I said, trying to hold back my grin at the cheesy song lyrics I wanted to burst out in.

"Kari if you start singing that, you'll be doing the Siberia run for the next 6 months," Coulson warned pointing his clipboard at me. He was failing miserably at keeping a straight face.

"Don't worry Coulson, I'll make her stop," Clint paused dramatically. I knew exactly what was about to come out of his mouth before he even said it. The idiotic smirk on his face gave it away. "And hammer time."

"Get out," Coulson said, but he laughed despite his serious words. For good measure he smacked Clint with his clipboard as we both scampered out the door.

"You're terrible," I laughed as soon as we were out of earshot. "Now I have that in my head. Thanks."

"Can't touch this," Clint sang bopping his head along to the imaginary beat. "And I don't know the rest of the words."

"Oh oh oh and so forth, can't touch this," I filled in while laughing at our antics. We were such idiots when we wanted to be. I was going to have that song stuck in my head for weeks now. "Maybe we should start singing 'Can't Lift This' instead."

"Can't lift this," Clint started singing." Oh oh, Can't…."

Clint trailed off bursting into laughter. I wasn't far behind him. It took us a minute before we were composed enough to walk off and get back to work.

Clint and I wandered around the complex randomly bursting into song. The scientists very promptly kicked us out of the hammer site when we tried to get too close. The fact we were still singing 'Can't Touch This' probably didn't help our case. Sometimes SHIELD could be very much like being back in the Air Force. Hours and hours of waiting around for 5 minutes of action. Being down in the canyon made my phone got nuts again so I wasn't even able to text to pass the boredom. We'd done a full sweep of the perimeter and made it back just in time to see Dr Selvig standing at the bottom of the stairs with Coulson looking down on him. Clint and I both stopped in our tracks, covered by the shadow of the building so we could eavesdrop on what was happening.

"You can understand how a man could go off like that." Dr Selvig looked so nervous his hands were trembling a little. "I mean, a big faceless government organisation like yours coming in with their jack booted thugs…"

Selvig trailed off at the unamused look Coulson shot him.

"…That's how he put it."

I had to give it to Selvig. It was a smooth save. Even Coulson looked mildly impressed at the quick cover up.

"That doesn't explain how he managed to tear through our security," Coulson said, glancing back to the screen behind him.

"Steriods!" Selvig explained with a strained laugh. "He's a bit of a fitness nut."

Even I could tell Selvig was lying. But he was doing a remarkable job at keeping his cool. It was a very good explanation though. The guy was incredibly ripped.

"It says here that he's an M.D," Coulson pointed out.

"He is, that is he was," Selvig stumbled over his words far too quickly. "He switched careers and became a physicist."

"He lies worse than I do," I murmured under my breath, only loud enough for Clint to hear. Next to me, Clint's hand flew to his mouth to hide his snicker. We were well positioned in the shadows that most people wouldn't see us. But bursting out laughing would definitely give that away.

"A brilliant physicist," Selvig started to stammer under the pressure of Coulson's stare. "He's a wonderful man, a man in pain."

Coulson continued to stare at Selvig for a long half a minute. The other man did well not to fidget under that stare. Coulson finally nodded to one of the Charlie team guys who was standing beside Selvig. He motioned for Selvig to follow him and the pair walked off to where our mystery guest was being held.

"Kari, Barton."

As soon as Selvig was out of earshot, Coulson turned towards us and motioned for us to come in close to him. Dammit, maybe we hadn't been as hidden as we thought. But this was Coulson. He had an uncanny knack of knowing exactly where we were and what we were doing. Clint and I climbed the stairs to the command post of where Coulson was standing. Behind him on the computer, the drivers license of Donald Blake was flashing up a falsified data warning all over the screen.

"Follow them. Discreetly."

Clint and I didn't need to be told twice. It took us less than 5 minutes to get changed into civilian clothes and heading into town in the car Clint had been using while he was out here by himself.

"So, what's the plan?" I asked as soon as we were driving away from the complex.

"If you're having a hell of a day, where would the first place a normal person head to?"

"To a bar." It was a simple question. Selvig had just lied in a big way to bust his friend out of SHIELD. Any sane person would head straight to strong liquor after something like that.

"There's only one bar in town." Clint nodded at my answer. "It's almost a hole in the wall type place. Plenty of dark corners to lurk in. But they have really good wings."

"You sound like you know from experience." Despite my teasing, wings and beer actually sounded pretty good. Having both would let us blend in easily.

"They do a $5 all you can eat wings and beer there on Thursday nights." Clint looked over at me with a grin. "And people are dumb enough to still challenge me to play pool. They even bet money."

I cringed but it still made me laugh. Pool, darts and beer pong were 3 things no one in SHIELD was dumb enough to challenge Clint to. Even when he was as drunk he had perfect aim. Every single time. It was maddening. I had no doubt Clint would have cleaned out a few people's wallets while he was here.

"So whats your cover story out here?" I asked, sliding down in the chair and putting my feet up on the dashboard.

"Just a guy traveling around," Clint said with a small shrug. "No one really asks. My resting murder face makes most people back away."

I snorted with laughter at that. He wasn't lying. But I was pretty sure Clint had picked that up off Coulson. We chatted about nothing as Clint drove us into town. It was pretty deserted at this time of night. So it wasn't hard to find a parking spot right in front of the bar. I found a booth right in the back corner with a perfect view of the entire bar. Clint went up and grabbed a beer for each of us before settling in the booth with me. Selvig and Donald, or whatever the guys name was, hadn't arrived yet so we had time to relax. I took a sip of the beer and pulled a mildly disgusted face. Whatever was on tap was cheap, at least it wasn't too nasty. It was drinkable.

"There's not much of a selection," Clint chuckled at me, sipping his own beer. "Its better than the $7 bottle of whiskey they have."

I shuddered at the thought of scotch that cheap. You may as well drink paint thinner instead. My phone vibrated in my pocket, making me go digging for the it. There were a ton of unread messages piling up again. The latest one was from Gareth telling me he was out playing pool with some of the guys from work.

"Greg?"

"No." I shook my head as I started to tap out a reply to Gareth. "Gareth."

"You never did explain how you two are suddenly talking after you were very adamant you weren't going to speak to him again," Clint said as he took a sip of beer.

"Apparently tequila makes me horny," I explained dryly, not looking up from my phone. "And he was the candidate for me wanting phone sex that night. Thankfully he thought it was funny."

And sexy. But Clint probably need to hear that part, or need any new material to tease me about. Gareth certainly wasn't being shy about his flirting. Tonight the text messages were starting to border on sexting. It was probably a good stepping stone for me. A bit of fun without any type of real commitment to anything. I could ignore the messages if I wanted, or pour a bit of petrol on the fire. Like I was currently doing. I was feeling bold enough to flirt back right now.

Clint snickered in his beer glass but otherwise didn't make any smart ass comment. He was watching my phone screen very intently though. I tilted the screen a little so he couldn't read exactly what I was typing. It was silent for about 5 seconds before Clint's face broke into a mischievous grin.

"Why yes Kari, I'm sure he will love the mental imagine of you bent over the pool table, probably in that little red dress you wore." Clint couldn't help himself. "Tell him your g-string and bra match the dress as well. He'll love it."

"You are surprisingly helpful when you want to be." I bit my lip to stop myself laughing, typing exactly what Clint had just said. Sometimes a guy's perspective could be very handy, especially with how out of practice I was. I wasn't surprised he'd caught onto what I was doing. "Though I'm sure he doesn't need to hear about how super padded my bra was that night to make it look like I had boobs."

"I'm sure he'd be too busy gawking about the carpet matching the drapes," Clint said, his mischievous grin growing wider. "I'd imagine you get that a lot."

"More than I'd like to admit but then again, so does Nat," I laughed, shaking my head a little as I finished the message. I wasn't going to rise to Clint's bait tonight. I was glad for the dark room though because I was sure I was blushing from what I just wrote. Speaking of Natasha, I scrolled back through my messages to double check she hadn't replied to me. She'd been very quiet since I left Malibu. Just like I suspected, there was no reply from the text I'd sent her early this morning. "Have you heard from Nat?"

"Not that I know of." Clint frowned, pulling out his own phone, flicking through it. "Nope, she's probably busy."

"Probably." I put my phone on the table, face down so whatever Gareth came back with wouldn't be seen by Clint. He was too intent on replying back to one of his messages to notice. "Are you sexting as well?"

"A little," Clint admitted with a laugh, his fingers flying over the phone screen. "She's at work, so I'm more being a distracting pain in the ass than anything else."

"I'm glad you two are getting through the rough patch." I smiled at the goofy grin on Clint's face as he typed out the message. Thinking of Laura made me realise I hadn't replied to a message from Greg earlier, so I opened up my phone again. "Say hi for me."

"You and me both," Clint said with a short laugh. "I'm sure she'd say hi back, but I may have distracted her a little too much to get her to form a coherent sentence. Hows Gareth going with the mental imagine you just sent him?"

"Probably to the toilet to jerk off," I laughed as well. The message had come up as read, but Gareth hadn't replied yet. Then again, he was out being social. He could have ignored it for the time being until later on. Greg had asked me about how my day was going so I tapped out a slightly vague response to him. Magical hammers that couldn't be moved were probably a bit to classified to speak about.

"I can't wait to get home." Clint stared at his phone, looking wistful as his fingers stopped typing. "I miss my wife. I miss my kids."

"I miss everyone," I said with a smile, looking up from my phone over to Clint. "I feel like I've been away for months."

"Trust me, we've all missed you too," Clint smiled back and went back to texting. I couldn't help but smile as I went back to my own message to Greg. It was little things like that which made me feel very much part of this team and their own very private lives. We were such a close little family. It was a nice feeling to be missed and loved.

Our wings came out as I finished my message to Greg. Clint was still texting Laura, so I dug into the bowl without him. The first bite made my mouth burn and eyes water from the spice. But they were seriously good wings. My face was on fire and I couldn't stop my nose running by the time I finished the first one.

"The sauce is good too." Clint finally put up his phone and grabbed his own wings. His attention suddenly perked up and his gaze shifted to the bar. Still stuffing my face with wings, I casually shifted so I could see what he was looking at. Dr Selvig and our mystery man had come to sit at the bar. Although the bar was quiet, there was too much background noise to hear anything they were saying. Both of their backs were turned to us, so Clint wouldn't be able to read their lips either.

"Fuck it," Clint grumbled, shifting in his seat. "Can't hear or see a damn thing."

The two men didn't do anything for a few minutes until the bartender served them. The large mugs of beer with a shot of whiskey made me cringe. This probably wasn't going to end well for anyone involved.

"Not much we can do now except drink with them," I said, turning my attention back to the wings. Clint had been right, the ranch sauce was really good with them.

"And hope they don't get into too much trouble." Clint picked up another wing, blowing on it before dunking it in an almost sinful amount of ranch sauce.

By the time we'd finished our bowl of wings, Clint had gotten us another beer. The 2 men at the bar didn't even give him a second glance as he stood there pretending he was texting while waiting for our beers. Other than a few drunken barks of laughter, the pair were remarkably well behaved. I was getting into more mischief with the progressively naughtier texts I was sending Gareth. Between texts, Clint and I made plans on what we were going to do once we got home. HeeBeen was definitely on the menu. So was a beer and wings night at JoJo's. I'd frustrated Gareth enough that he hadn't been able to concentrate on his game and he was heading home to bed. Greg had gone quiet, no doubt at work given the late hour. It passed away the time very easily. I barely noticed the hours tick by.

The sound of a glass shattering on the ground made both Clint and I jump mid conversation.

"Another!" Dr Selvig shouted, throwing his arms up in the air in his drunken glee. I couldn't help but laugh quietly at how drunk he was. The older man could barely stand up straight. He was swaying dangerously on his feet. I thought he was going to topple over at any second.

"Another!" His drinking partner echoed.

It was the most noise they'd made all night. But the bartender wasn't having any of it. With a few snapped words in their direction, the two men stumbled towards the door. Clint and I casually drained the last of our cheap beer before heading out the door, less than a minute after them. The pair were singing as they staggered down the road, back towards Dr Foster's lab. Or what was left of it after SHIELD stripping it bare.

"This way." Clint grabbed my hand and tugged me away from the road before I could follow them.  
We ducked down one of the side streets, quiet except for the sound of our breathing. I could see my breath misting in front of me as we came to one of the buildings on the outskirts of town. Clint motioned to the fire ladder on the side of the building.

"Head up there, it's the perfect spot to see the observatory," Clint said, nodding up towards the roof. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

I did as I was told, shivering in the frosty night air as I settled on the edge of the building. Clint was right. You could see through the entire observatory and to Dr Foster's caravan as well. Despite the cold, it was a beautiful night. The tiny amount of light pollution from the sleepy town did nothing to block out the stars here. The ink black sky was dotted with thousands of tiny bright lights, stretching through the horizon. I tipped my head back to get a better view of the stars. It was perfect timing. A shooting star streaked over my head just as I tipped my head back. I watched the trail of light until it died out with a small smile on my face. There was something oddly soothing about sitting in the middle of nowhere watching the stars. It almost felt like it was soul cleansing. I stayed like that until Clint came onto the roof.

"Beautiful isn't it?" Clint didn't need to ask what I was doing. He came over, handing me the paper cup he'd brought up with him. I took a sip before I responded. It was terrible coffee, but it was warm and caffeinated. I wasn't going to complain. Gas station coffee was better than none at all.

"I haven't seen this many stars in months." I smiled as I tipped my head back up to the sky, "I saw a shooting star before."

"Did you make a wish?" Clint teased me gently, bumping my shoulder with his.

"Yes, I wished for a big meal of greasy McDonalds and some really fucking expensive scotch," I joked. "Or pizza. Yeah I could definitely go for pizza."

The wings hadn't done much to fill my stomach, despite how tasty they were.

"Sorry the pizza place is shut," Clint laughed, reaching into his jacket. He pulled out 2 small paper bags. "But I have donuts."

"Donuts will do." I reached over and took one of the bags from Clint. "What happens now?"

"Now we do what all good snipers do, sit and wait," Clint said, plonking himself down onto the ground. I followed suit, sitting close together with our knees touching. The edge of the building wasn't that high so we could easily see over it. We'd only been sitting there 5 minutes before there was movement on the rooftop.

"It's Dr Foster and our pretend doctor," Clint said before I could ask him what it was. He stared out over the buildings for another few seconds before a wry smile came onto his face. "They're too far away to make out what they're saying. But Dr Foster is smiling."

"I envy your eyesight," I chuckled, looking over to where Clint's gaze was. While I could just make out Dr Foster and the intruder, I couldn't make out their facial expressions at all.

Clint smiled but said nothing in reply. We sat there, sipping on our coffee and nibbling on the donuts are the night stretched on. The small town eventually grew so quiet you could catch the occasional bit of laughter coming from the roof. But otherwise, nothing else stirred in the town. The last of the lights were turned off from the gas station, plunging everything into darkness. If I thought the stars were bright before, it was nothing compared to now. My gaze eventually went upwards back to the night sky. Eventually, even the laughter from the observatory roof stopped. My eyelids began to droop, despite my best efforts to keep them open. I put my head on Clint's shoulder and cuddled in closer to him, trying to stay warm.

"Have a nap," Clint suggested, breaking the long silence. "I'll wake you when I need one."

I checked my phone, squinting a little at the bright light I tried to keep mostly hidden in my pocket. It was just after 0200. It'd been a very, very long day. I didn't argue with Clint. I put my head back on his shoulder and closed my eyes. He put his arm around me, pulling me in a little closer for warmth. It wasn't hard to drift off to sleep within seconds.

Clint shook me awake at 0403, looking grey and haggard. I yawned and nodded my consent to taking over watching, despite feeling bone tired. Clint lay down in my lap, pulling his jacket around him tightly. Like I had been, he was asleep very quickly. His quiet snores reached my ears as I sat looking out in the darkness feeling groggy and disorientated. It took until the sun was just starting to peek over the edges of the horizon for me to wake up properly. Like the hours before, the roof on the observatory was quiet. In the grey morning light I could barely make out 2 figures asleep on what looked to be reclining chairs.

The lights at the gas station flicked on just before the sun was fully up over the horizon. The first few rays of sunlight hitting the roof were enough to wake up Clint. I felt a little guilty as I watched him blink sleepily in the morning light. It took a few minutes for him to fully wake up. Even then, he barely looked human. My nap seemed like a full night sleep compared to what Clint just had.

"I will chew off my own arm for a coffee," Clint said with a groan as he pushed himself upright. "Please, make some magic happen."

"Good, cuz I need to pee." I got up straight away. I didn't need much excuse to get up and move. My muscles bitched in protest at the sudden movement, making me wince. My legs took a few steps to work properly as I staggered across the roof. It took a lot more coordination that I was feeling this morning to get back down the narrow ladder and across the street to the gas station. The toilet was thankfully unlocked and clean. I splashed water on my face, trying to get rid of some of the tiredness. It didn't really work, so I staggered into the shop for the next best thing. Caffeine. Even the attendant barely looked awake as I got coffee for Clint and I, along with some breakfast burritos from the warmer. It was quite the balancing act to get back up the ladder, but I managed without spilling any coffee. I walked over and sat back down in my previous spot, handing the warm beverage and breakfast to my tired partner. He gave me a grunt of acknowledgement, but kept his eyes over on the building.

I felt slightly more human by the time I finished my burrito and coffee. The two figures on the roof across from us both stirred and left while we were having breakfast. I could only just make out the bodies moving around below through the glass.

Despite the sleep deprivation, it was oddly calmly sitting here watching the sleepy town come to life. Slowly but surely, the shops started to open. The smell of bacon and pancakes wafted up to us from the diner across the street. Cars started to move along the road as people started their days.

"Those pancakes smell epic," Clint finally spoke, turning his gaze away from the observatory over towards the diner. "I wish Coulson would hurry…."

Clint's voice trailed off, making me follow his gaze. I actually had to rub my eyes to make sure I wasn't seeing things.

3 men and 1 woman, all dressed in armour and carrying medieval weapons were walking down the street. Straight towards the observatory.

"Shit."

Clint and I said the explicate at the same time. Clint scrambled for his phone as I could only watch dumbly as the 4 people walked straight up to the observatory. To my surprise, they just tapped on the window, waving merrily. The sound of one of the men could be clearly heard in the morning air.

"Found you!"

"Coulson, we have a small problem here," Clint's voice made my attention pull back towards him. He was on the phone, staring at the scene in front of him. I looked at him for guidance, completely clueless what to do. Whoever these people were definitely knew our mystery intruder.

Whatever response Clint got was suddenly cut off by a loud explosion coming from behind us. It was so loud, Clint dropped his phone. It landed with clatter before the sound of breaking glass reached my ears. We both jumped, whirling around to face the sound of the impact. In the distance, something, I had no idea what it actually was, stepped out of the cloud of fire and dust.

"Is that one of Stark's?" Clint turned to face me, sounding as confused as I felt.

"I have no fucking idea."

Once the dust settled, I could make out what looked to be an enormous metal figure. It certainly looked like it could have been one of Stark's. But where had it come from? It was like it'd appeared out of thin air.

An explosion ripped through the air, looking like it had come straight from the robot's face. Smoke and fire billows around where it had been standing. I could hear the faint sound of explosive fire from where we were standing.

I had a bad feeling that my morning was about to get very messy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your patience everyone. I know I'm very all over the place with my updates at the moment, but I promised myself I was getting this out before the end of the month. I hope you all enjoy it!


	58. Chapter 58

Despite being bone tired, my feet flew across the roof and I was back down on the ground before I knew it. Clint was only a second after me. We both bolted for the car, going straight for the trunk. As always we kept a small arsenal packed in there. Clint always preferred to be over prepared than run out of ammo halfway through a fire fight. Right now I was very glad for trunk full of enough weapons to take down a small country.

“Go to where we just were,” Clint instructed as we both strapped our chosen weapons on. I had my AWSM, as always, and Clint was going straight for his bow and trick arrow quiver. “Stay out of sight if you can, try and get a hold of Coulson. If not, punch some holes through the bastard.”

It wasn’t much of a plan, but it’d do for now. Shooting something full of bullets until it couldn’t stand anymore was about as good as this was going to get. There was no grand battle scheme for us today.

“Stay safe,” I said, reaching over to give Clint’s arm a quick squeeze. I reached in and grabbed out a P30 for good measure and a few spare magazines. Who knew how much ammo I’d need. I may as well over compensate rather than run out halfway through a fight. I cast a longing look at the block of Semtex Clint had thrown in for good measure earlier. It was a lot more fun than regular explosives. I wished we had an excuse to use it today.

“You too.” Clint finished jamming his quiver full of as many arrows as he could manage. “I’m heading to the rooftops over there.”

Clint pointed to the rooftop that was diagonally across from me.

“We should be able to lay down some good crossfire to let people escape.”

I nodded my consent. In the short time we’d be on the ground, people were already starting to flee as the robot came closer. Or whatever that thing was. As it came closer it looked far more advanced than anything I had ever seen. I didn’t have time to stand there and gawk. I needed to get back up on the roof. 

It felt like a long run and my legs were burning by the time I got back on the roof. The robot was walking down the street as I found my spot to set up my AWSM. It was huge, easily 10 foot tall and made entirely of metal that really didn’t look like it was of this world. It was too fluid, too person like in its appearance. This one definitely going to be of the crazier stories of my life. The 4 people in the armour from earlier were walking straight towards it.

“You’re braver than I am,” I muttered, adjusting my scope. As I spoke the robot shot what looked like an energy beam straight from its face. 

“Oh fuck no,” I scoffed, yanking back the bolt on the AWSM feeding a chamber into the round. “Not a great idea.”

Shooting at it probably wasn’t a great idea either. But as I squeezed the trigger, an arrow flew from the opposite direction. Clint and I had perfect timing. His arrow and my bullet collided with the robot’s head at exactly the same time. It stopped in it’s tracks, the black fletched arrow sticking out from the side of its head. My bullet hadn’t made a dent in it. My stomach dropped as its head slowly turned in my direction.

I was fucked. I was so fucked.

I grabbed my AWSM and bolted for the edge of the building. It wasn’t that tall. The landing was going to hurt but it wouldn’t kill me. I closed my eyes as I hit the edge, leaping before I could second guess my choice. As my flung myself off the edge, a blast of hot air felt like it singed some stray hairs off my head. Flying through the air, the roof exploded behind me. No matter how much the sudden stop at the end was going to hurt, I was grateful not to be a pile of ash.

My body collided with something that wasn’t the sidewalk. The grunt coming from underneath me made me open my eyes. Instead of hitting the ground, our big blonde mystery visitor had broken my fall. He groaned underneath me as I scrambled to get off him and back to my feet. My AWSM was lying next to us so I quickly picked it up, ready to shoot again if I needed. We were protected a little bit here. But not by much. I could hear the sounds of a battle in the background, but I was too winded to look for it.

“Thanks,” I panted, offering him my hand. “That would have hurt otherwise.”

I didn’t want to think of how sore I was going to be tomorrow. This was the most action I’d had in a long time.

“You are very brave Agent Lyngley.” He took my offered hand and clambered to his feet. “But you cannot defeat that. No mortal weapon will touch it.”

“What the fuck is that?” I waved my hand to behind the building. Another crash came and I ducked my head as debris rained down over us.

“Its called the Destroyer.”

The Destroyer. As if that didn't sound ominous enough about a giant robot who could shoot beams out of its face.

“How do we kill it then?” I asked, peering around the corner. Whoever the newcomers in armour were, they were giving the robot a few problems. The Destroyer had a few more of Clint’s arrows sticking out of it. One of them exploded just as I looked. It didn’t make a difference to it though. It still continued on its path like nothing was going to stop it.

“You can’t.” He shook his head again. “You need to get out of here.”

“Not an option,” I said stubbornly, feeding another round into the chamber of the AWSM. “Everything can be stopped. We just need to find a weak point.”

I should be scared out of my mind. But right now I was calm and collected. I was ready to throw whatever this thing had at us. The explosions coming from it had to have alerted the SHIELD base. Coulson should be here soon with backup. Clint and I just needed to keep it busy so the civilians could be safe.

The Destroyer came around the corner and stopped, as if it was staring at us. I didn’t hesitate. I raised the AWSM and fired directly at its face. The bullet made a satisfying crack, but it didn’t make a dint. I’m not even sure why I bothered. It didn’t work before, why would it work now? The Destroyer acted like it hadn’t even noticed the hit. Time slowed down as its face opened and began to glow.

I didn’t have to think about what I was about to do. My power was on my fingertips and for once there was no second guessing what I was going to do. I threw my hands up and let my power take over. The wall of ice instantly spread from my fingers, creating a layer a few feet thick. I didn’t have time to stand there and be smug about it. As quickly as it’d formed, the Destroyer managed to shatter through it. I only had enough time to fling myself out of the way and wedge myself between the building and the dumpster. My new friend was right on my heels. It’d been a lot closer than I would have liked. I was sure I could smell burning hair again. Another explosion came from where the Destroyer was, sounding like one of Clint’s arrows. 

“What…” He started before I cut him off by clamping my hand over his mouth. He grabbed my wrist and applied pressure to get my hand off his mouth. He looked amazed by what I’d just done, maybe even a little thoughtful as he stared at me. I quickly grabbed his wrist and his free arm so he couldn’t pry me off. I ignored the searing pain in my wrist from his iron grip. If he said something he’d give away our hiding spot I was about to made even sneaker.

“Don’t freak out,” I pleaded, digging my fingers into his toned arms. If the situation wasn’t so dire I might have enjoyed having a good feel of those biceps. The muscles felt like steel under my fingers. “Please.”

I didn’t let him reply. I squeezed my eyes shut briefly and concentrated on going invisible. The now familiar feel of it sliding over my body came a lot easier than I thought it would. My heart was still hammering from the near miss of getting my ass burnt to a crisp for a second time today. A moment later, the Destroyer came around the corner, glancing towards our direction. The seconds felt like years as they ticked by. But the Destroyer finally moved, kicking a car as it went. The move was oddly human, it could have been Jared kicking something when he lost. I didn’t have time to crouch here dwelling on it though. I let go of the invisibility and sucked in a big lungful of air. I must have been holding my breath because my lungs were screaming at me for some oxygen. I barely managed to get a breath in before I found myself upright and pinned up against the wall. His grip was firm, but not crushing. The look on his face curious more than anything else.

“What are you?”

That was an odd question. Everyone on the planet knew about mutants, as much as I hated to say that word. The few incidents in the 70’s and 80’s had definitely opened everyones eyes up to that. Magneto trying to assassinate a president brought a little too much attention to our world.

“I could ask you the same thing,” I deflected, keeping still. There was no way I was getting out of that grip. “And your friends. SHIELD call what I am, Enhanced, which is a much nicer word for mutant.”

That answer seemed to satisfy him. He gave me a curt nod before his grip loosened.

“You would probably not believe me if I told you my story, but you may call me Thor.” The look of utter determination came over his face. “I have to finish this and only I can do this. Get Jane and the rest of the people to safety. Please.”

There was so much emotion behind that one word. I needed to stand here and argue with him. But no words were coming out. This was ridiculous. I shouldn’t trust this guy. He was crazy, I couldn't even bring myself to call him by his requested name. Thor was a Norse god and not exactly a common name. Not that I was one to talk about being crazy, I could make ice and go invisible. That was crazier than most people would ever see. I couldn’t bring myself to argue, I gave him a tight nod and a thin smile. I was not happy about it, but I had no grounds to order him around. 

“Be safe,” I said, reaching down to pull the P30 out of my thigh holster. I offered it to Thor and he quickly declined with a shake of his head.

“I will not need it.”

Before I could protest, he walked off down the street. A hand landed on my shoulder, making me whirl around in surprise with my P30 raised. It was only Clint. He was dusty and had a scrape up his arm, but was otherwise unharmed. I couldn’t stop the rush of relief come over me and seeing him in one piece.

“You okay?” Clint grabbed me by the shoulders and ran his eyes over me. I was sure I looked like shit. I could taste dust in my mouth and my body felt like it’d been run through a meat grinder. But I was unharmed. I would have given Clint a heart attack the way I jumped off the building.

“Nothing a hot bath won’t fix.” I wiped my sweaty hands over my face, probably making more of a mess than I cleaned off. “You?”

I motioned to the scrape on Clint’s arm, it was bleeding very sluggishly but didn’t look deep or serious.

“Still alive.” Clint gave me a wry grin. “Nice shooting by the way and your ice shield.”

“You too,” I grinned, feeling a little smugly proud of myself. If it wasn’t for Clint pushing me to always use my powers while we trained, there’d be nothing but ashes left of me.

“Come on, we need to provide cover for these civilians.” Clint gave me arm a small tug away from the building, tilting his head in the direction behind us. I looked around the corner of the building and saw the large group of civilians hurrying away from town. While a lot were in cars, here were still plenty on foot. They were out in the open and completely defenceless. We still had no backup and I barely had time to breath, let alone try and call Coulson.

Without looking back, we sprinted down the street keeping to the edges of the buildings. Luck must have been on our side because we managed to get clear to the edge of town and right to the civilians. I glanced at the sky at the sudden dark clouds appearing over a very specific spot. I sighed irritably. Our day was about to get even more interesting. Probably not in a good way. I was so busy staring at the clouds and the lightning storm going on in them, I ran straight into something and fell flat on my ass.

It was a SHIELD car. 

There was no saving me from Clint’s near hysterical laughter. The world was ending behind us and Clint was laughing so hard at me he could barely breath. Whoever was in the car was laughing at me as well. I could hear them through the closed windows. I was suddenly wanting to be back on the rooftop burnt to ashes instead of sitting in the dust on my ass after running into a very big black car. 

“You are a disgrace to STRIKE Team Delta,” Clint teased through his snorting laughter. I picked up a handful of sand and threw it at his face. In my embarrassment and anger, it missed him by a mile. It only made him laugh even harder at me. 

“Fuck you,” I said through gritted teeth. I wasn’t angry with Clint. Quite the contrary, I was trying really hard not to laugh at what I’d just done. It was a whole new level of stupid, even for me. I’d been so caught up in trying to see what was happening behind us, I didn’t pay attention to anything else. 

“Not if you and I were the last people on Earth,” Clint kept laughing at me. “I keep telling you, that skinny ass of yours does nothing for me.”

That was it for me. I couldn’t hold back my laughter any longer. Sitting in the dirt without what looked like a tornado going on behind us, I burst out laughing. It was so hard I could barely breath.

“Get in the car.” It was Coulson’s voice coming from inside of the car. He must have composed himself long enough to stop laughing at my clumsiness. It was so typical of me to do something stupid in a serious situation. I could be such a klutz at times. Still, I did as we were told. I got up, dusting off my ass and climbed into the car. I’d barely gotten the door closed before Coulson was speeding away. I slid across the backseat, grabbing onto the door handle for support. Coulson was driving back towards town like a crazy person. He said my driving was bad, his wasn’t much better right now. Maybe this is what it felt like when I decided to play a little rough if my passengers were giving me grief in the Quinjet. 

The storm clouds had grown in intensity. Bolts of lightning kept shooting out from them, along with what looked like the beams from the Destroyers face. The closer we got, the more the car started to sway in the strong wind. Coulson’s knuckles were going white from gripping the steering wheel hard. Even Clint started to look a little white as we got closer. The wind picked up in intensity and the car got rockier with every passing inch. With a groan of metal, the car briefly skidded sideways as a very strong gust hit us. I gripped onto the door as hard as Coulson was gripping the wheel. A blinding light ahead of us made Coulson slam the brakes on. I cringed, shielding my eyes from what almost looked to be a mushroom cloud. A few seconds later, the car jerked forward again. I opened my eyes to see us rushing up towards the town at breakneck speed. Coulson’s driving was starting to make me feel very queasy. Thankfully, it only lasted another 30 seconds as we came up the main street of town.

As we pulled in closer a large hunk of metal dropped from the sky. The mangled form of the Destroyer was easy to see. A few seconds later, a red caped figure dropped to the ground and walked away from the centre of the storm. Bits of debris and cars came crashing down behind him, yet he didn’t falter. As he got closer, I had to stop my mouth dropping open in surprise. That was not who I was expecting. At all. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any weirder, they definitely did.

Gone was the blond man dressed in jeans and a jacket. Thor was now striding towards Jane and the rest of their group dressed in armour with his marvellous red cape billowing behind him. Beside him was the hammer we all tried so hard to lift, dangling in his hand like it weighed nothing. I was a little bit envious on how amazing he looked. We’d obviously missed something very vital while Clint and I were heading out of town to protect the civilians. 

“Excuse me,” Coulson called out, as he climbed out of the car. I nearly fell out of the door in my eagerness to find out what the fuck just happened. It wasn’t my smoothest move. Thankfully no one noticed me and my 2 left feet today. Clint was only a step behind me, but we hung back away enough not to get in the way.

“Donald,” Coulson strode up to Thor, looking completely unintimidated about what he was facing. He came to stand next to him, the barest amount of amusement playing across his face. “I don’t think you’ve been completely honest with me.”

“Know this, Son of Coul,” Thor started. He even sounded different. Older, wiser and fuck me he looked amazing in his armour. I was trying my best not to ogle at him. His leather pants were really tight though. “You and I, we fight for the same cause. The protection of this world. From this day forward you can count me as your ally. If you return the items you have taken from Jane.”

Thor moved back to stand beside Jane, putting a supporting arm around her waist. I covered my smile with my hand, not wanting to give away the tough agent look Clint and I were trying to do. It was obvious to me that the pair were fairly smitten. It wasn’t hard to see why.

“Stolen,” Jane shot at Coulson with a firm look.

“Borrowed.” Coulson paused with a small smile. “Of course you can have your equipment back. You’re going to need it to continue your research.”

Jane nodded in approval, looking decisively smug at Coulson’s quick acceptance. It only made me smile more. Coulson was a good person. The game had changed so abruptly, but Coulson never faltered. He went with the times. He had something a lot of SHIELD agents didn't have. Trust and compassion. He truely believed in the people around him and trusted them completely. 

“Would you like to see the bridge we spoke of?” Thor turned to Jane with a smile on his face.

“Ah, sure.” Jane looked a little giddy. Thor pulled her in close to his side, making her grin widely in response. I’d be grinning too if I got that close to those biceps and ass.

“Wait, I need to debrief you!”

Coulson barely got the sentence out before Thor lifted into the sky with Jane attached to his side. I could only gawk in response as he flew. Literally flew away from the town with Jane by his side. It was like something out of a fucking Disney movie. The rest of us were left standing on the ground, gawking up at the sky. It wasn’t the strangest thing I’d ever seen but it was getting up there pretty close.

“May we trouble you for a lift?”

It was one of the three men in armour who spoke. He was the biggest one out of the three. Seeing our attention turn towards him, he bowed deeply.

“Allow me to introduce ourselves,” he said, straightening up. “Lady Sif and the Warriors Three. I am Volstagg, this is Fandral and Hogun. The greatest warriors in all of Asgard.”

I was wrong, this was becoming the strangest thing I’d ever seen.

“I’m Agent Coulson,” Coulson didn’t miss a beat. “If you follow me, I’d be more than happy to speak to you and provide a lift.”

I stepped forward, eager to get in on this action. The female warrior, Lady Sif kept eyeing me off with a curious look. She couldn’t see to take her eyes off my AWSM. I had to admit, the spear of her’s was very impressive. I was sure we could bond over being kick ass females together. 

“You two stay here and supervise the civilians coming back into town,” Coulson turned to Clint and I, crushing any hope I had of talking to our mysterious visitors. Seeing my disappointment, Coulson gave me a small smile. “I’ll make up for it later.”

“Sir.” Clint and I both nodded at the same time. If the situation wasn’t so serious, I’d give him shit for us speaking together. Obviously Coulson needed someone who he could trust. We’d probably had enough action for today. It still didn’t stop me watching a little mournfully as they all piled in Jane Foster’s van and screech off down the road. The dust kicked up after them and the sped off out of sight within the minute. It wasn’t until they were out of sight Clint turned to me.

“I guess we had enough excitement for today.” He pulled a face, looking as disappointed as I felt. “Lets get things sorted here.”

A few seconds later, a large entourage of SHIELD vehicles pulled up with Agent Sitwell in the head car. He took one look at us and then the surrounding wreckage with a pained sigh.

“What the fuck have you two been doing now?”

 

~~~ 

It took nearly all day for Coulson to come back form whatever he’d been doing. In that time SHIELD got everyone back into the town. The team was all over the town doing everything from providing medical care to those who needed it, doing mass debriefings on the situation and starting clean up. Sometime during the day, all of Jane’s lab equipment had appeared back in her lab. There was some newer looking equipment in there as well. No doubt the brand new Stark computers were SHIELD’s way of an apology.

Clint and I did everything from handing out blankets to helping patch up some of the minor wounds. Clint was extremely handy when it came to bandaging people up. I stood there handing him supplies, feeling a bit useless It wasn’t a surprise considering what Laura did for a living. But it kept us busy, so busy I didn’t notice how damn exhausted I was until I sat down in the diner with Coulson and Clint as the sun was starting to set.

The diner owner was kind enough to keep us all fed and watered throughout the day. She was a lovely woman even though she was making a big fuss over Clint and I all the time. Apparently she’d seen us up on the room shooting at the Destroyer before she got out of town. It was very weird being treated like a hero. We hadn't done anything extraordinary, only our jobs. But she wouldn’t be told otherwise and made sure we were never without food or drinks all day. Her coffee had been a godsend. Now wasn’t any different, Izzy she introduced herself as, poured us coffee and put out half a lemon meringue pie on the table. 

I could barely keep my eyes open as Coulson sat down with a heavy sigh. He looked as exhausted as I felt. Clint had his head in his hands, absently stirring his own cup of coffee. He’d come back alone much to my disappointment. Not that I had the energy to show it. I’d fall asleep on the table right now if I wasn’t so curious about what happened while he was away.

“So,” Coulson began, stirring sugar into his coffee. “Where do I start?”

“At the beginning,” Clint said smartly. Despite his obvious exhaustion, he still had enough energy to throw out some sass. 

“Well, we just got our answer to whether aliens are real or not.”

There was no bullshit in Coulson’s tone or face. Without giving us time to process what he just said, he launched into the story.

Asgard was real. All the old Norse legends were true. The only thing was, they weren’t gods. Just an advanced race of beings. It was easy to see how the earlier humans would have seen and worshipped them as gods. They were advanced beyond anything we’d ever seen. What Jane Foster had found the other day is something called the Bifrost. It created a bridge between worlds, allowing people to travel across the universe in the blink of an eye. It made Jared’s teleporting look like a child playing. It wasn’t just Asgard, there were uncountable colonies across the universe. Earth was little more than a drop of water in an ocean.

Thor was the Thor. Like the one from all the mythology. He’d done something terrible and was stripped of his powers and sent back to Earth. His hammer, Mjolnir, was only able to be handled by someone who was worthy of it. Which is why Thor couldn't lift it while he was powerless. Or any of us. Apparently we weren’t worthy, that made me scrunch up my nose in disgust. It was a little unfair.

What Clint and I hadn’t seen was Thor sacrificing himself so his friends and Jane could get to safety. The selfless act of bravery gave him his powers back. Hence why he was able to defeat the Destroyer. A lot of what he said made complete sense now. His brother Loki, the actual Norse trickster had taken over the throne and sent the Destroyer to kill Thor. His friends, The Warriors Three and Lady Sif had caught wind of the plot of assassinate Thor. They came to Earth to help Thor and had gone back with him. Something wasn’t right and there’d been a delay with them actually going back home but they’d eventually all gone in a flash of rainbow light. A few hours ago, the sky had exploded in a rainbow of colours. Then there was nothing else. Despite Thor’s reassurance to Jane that he would come back for her.

I sat there speechless, pie and coffee forgotten as Coulson went through his story. It was really unbelievable. To think there was now very solid proof that we weren’t alone in the universe. I’d been gripping onto an alien’s biceps this morning. A real life alien. It was hard to wrap my tired brain around. If I didn’t trust Coulson impeccably, I’d say he’d made the whole thing up as an elaborate prank.

Now it was going to be up to Jane Foster and Dr Selvig to come up with a way to re-create the bridge between our worlds. All her data from the other night that SHIELD took was exactly that. It’d been the Bifrost sending Thor to Earth as his banishment. 

“That’s going to be one hell of a story to tell the grandkids one day Coulson,” Clint chuckled wearily once Coulson finished speaking. “What happens now?”

“For us? We go home,” Coulson looked as relieved as I felt upon hearing those words. “This now becomes a problem for those who specialise in the weird and wonderful in this world. Apparently now in other worlds as well.”

Home. I’d never been so relieved to hear that one word. 

“When?” Clint suddenly perked up at the mention of home. I was right with him. I’d give anything to sleep in my own bed tonight. After some serious cuddles with Clint’s kids and Alexi. 

“Right now.”

There was the odd buzz in the air that came with Jared teleporting. Half a second later my twin was beside me, balancing on a moon boot but grinning like crazy. I’d never been so happy to see him in my life. 

“Someone need a lift?”

“Jared, I could kiss you right now.” Clint’s beaming grin was contagious. He reached over and pulled Jared into a tight hug. Despite Jared’s squawk of protest, he was smiling and hugged Clint back. I didn’t bother waiting for them to finish, I pounced on Jared wrapping him in a tight hug. He looked better than he had in months. It was so good to see him off crutches and on his leg. He wobbled under my firm grip but he stayed upright. 

“Lets go home.”

I had no idea who Jared was talking to. But a second later the world dropped out from underneath us and we landed in Clint’s kitchen.

“Daddy!”

Lila and Cooper’s shrieks of surprise were so high pitched, I nearly had to cover my ears. They threw themselves at Clint, hanging off him. Clint hugged his kids hard, the grin on his face only grew wider at having his kids in his arms. He almost looked a little misty eyed as he looked up as mouthed a thank you to Jared. With a knowing grin, Jared teleported away again

“Where’s my hug assholes?”

Natasha’s voice rang out across the room. A second later her body collided into mine as she hugged me fiercely. I wasn’t going to ask how and why she was home already. I was just happy to see her. Laura came into the kitchen and launched herself at Clint, laughing in utter glee at his sudden appearance. 

It was so good to be home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't thrilled with this chapter. I have a bit of a hard time trying to make everything sound interesting when it comes to the earlier movie timelines. I've always wanted Kari to have her own things to do, not standing around and having conversations rehashed around her. So its always a bit of an internal struggle with getting these chapters right and I'm happy enough to post them. 
> 
> Thanks for your patience everyone. I know my posting is all over the place at the moment. Writing...or doing anything that requires me to be upright is a bit difficult at the moment.


	59. Chapter 59

“Alexi, stop fussing,” I tried to scold the wriggling toddler as I attempted to put a ribbon in her hair again. She wasn’t having any of it. As soon as I put it in, she’d yank it out again and throw it across the room. She was grumpy this morning on a whole new level of Alexi grumpiness.

“No,” she whined, squirming out of my reach. I sighed and let her sit on the floor. She picked up one of her teddy bears Riley had given her and stuck her thumb in her mouth.

It was William’s baptism today. I’d been home for a bit over a month now, cherishing the peace and quiet of doing nothing. Well, it wasn’t nothing. With Natasha being back, training had certainly kicked in. She was feeling very out of shape since being on her undercover mission so we hit the gym very hard and trained even harder. I was finally starting to put some muscle back on after Pripyat. The lingering fatigue that had plagued me for months seemed to finally be loosening its grip on me. I was feeling and looking better than I had in months.

I’d never been so sociable in my life since I’d gotten back from New Mexico. Greg and I had caught up for lunch a few times now. I seemed to be going out every second night to somewhere for dinner. If I wasn’t at Clint’s, I was at Evans’ place. I’d ever gone out drinking with Alpha and Bravo team at JoJo’s a few times for beer and wings night. Last week I’d stayed in New York to celebrate my Dad officially becoming head of R&D. It’d been quite the wild party. I don’t think I’d ever seen my Dad as drunk as he was. Even Mom got drunk with him, though she contained herself a little better. Jared came home with me, switching his physical therapy to a place in DC now he was finally out of a moon boot. He was still limping and couldn’t walk long distances without crutches, but he was thrilled with how better his ankle was feeling. He’d even started swimming, taking full advantage of the heated pool at the Triskelion now Autumn was well and truly here. The year was flying past. I saw Christmas decorations start creeping into the stores the other day, even though it was only the start of October.

I hadn’t been this happy in months. It was such a nice feeling. It was probably why I was dealing with Alexi’s little meltdown this morning so well.

“Alexi, if you wear the ribbon I promise we’ll go to the park tomorrow and play on the swings?” I tried to bribe the little monster sulking at my feet.

“Now.” Alexi demanded as she stuck out her bottom lip in a seriously cute pout.

“We can’t go now Munchkin,” I said gently, sinking down on the floor next to her. “But I promise we’ll go tomorrow.”

There was a STRIKE keg party tonight. I was probably an idiot for promising a park visit tomorrow because I was going to be severely hungover. But right now I’d do anything to keep Alexi happy throughout today. I swear the kid had a sixth sense and knew today was about her baby brother and not her. She really hadn’t taken to being a big sister at all. At least having me back took some of the burden off Abby. I was more than happy to run Alexi around to playground or gymnastic lessons whenever she needed me to. I’d taken Alexi to her gymnastic classes so much over the last month, I was sure people thought I was actually related. I was always referred to Aunt Kari over there.

“I don’t want to go,” Alexi sniffled, tears welling up in her big blue eyes. She was getting very articulate when she spoke. It was a hell of a lot more advanced than some of the kids her age. I could understand everything she said now. There was no more baby babble. It was all real words.

“But afterwards there’ll be cake.” I went for bribery because I sucked at negotiation. “Which I promise we can eat as much as we want. Then tomorrow, we’ll go to the park and have ice cream. How does that sound?”

Alexi sat there pouting for a long minute. She finally nodded and I sighed in relief, putting the ribbon back in her hair. At least it was only the ribbon she was being fussy about. Some days she didn’t want to wear any clothes at all. After I finished, Alexi stood up and wrapped her arms around me. I pulled her into my lap and gave her a big cuddle.

“Don’t go.” Alexi sniffed again as I hugged her.

I pulled away a little so I could look at her properly. She had tears welling up in her eyes again as she tried to cling to me.

“I’m not going anywhere Munchkin.” I hugged her again. “I promise.”

“Daddy went away,” Alexi’s voice was muffled as she burrowed her head into my shoulder. She was hugging me as hard as a toddler possibly could. Evans had been away for 2 days on a quick mission last week. I’d stayed the night to help Abby out. Alexi had been a bit of a nightmare all night, wanting to sit up and wait for Evans. Exhaustion finally made her fall asleep just after 0200. “You went away. Riley went away.”

My heart skipped a few beats and I closed my eyes, feeling a little misty eyed myself. Evans had told me about her meltdown the night before Sam got in trouble on the range. Every time I felt like I was healing a little from Riley, something else would break my heart all over again. Right now it was his precious god daughter missing him. She was too young to remember him, but somehow she knew. But she was too young to comprehend he wasn’t coming back.

“I miss Riley,” I whispered to Alex while hugging her a little harder. “Very much. Nearly as much as you do.”

“Love you,” Alexi’s words were muffled, but clear enough for me to make out. “Always come back to me?”

That was a promise I’d never be able to make. But I stupidly found myself saying it anyway.

“I will always, always come back to you because I love you too.”

My heart swelled at the smile on Alexi’s face as she pulled away to look at me. It helped my broken heart a little that someone else could love me as much as Riley did. I’d never heard Alexi say she loved me before. It was definitely a new one.

“Come on ladies, we have to go,” Evans voice drifted up the stairs.

“All right, remember cake later and park tomorrow? Only if you’re a good girl though,” I said with a smile. Alexi nodded vigorously and jumped to her feet, running out the door. I sighed in relief, glad there was now a minor chance she’d be on her best behaviour today. It was better than none at all. She was in Evans arms at the bottom of the stairs as I walked out of her bedroom, chatting his ear off going to the park tomorrow. Evans threw me an amused look as I came down the stairs at a sedate pace. I was stiff and sore from Natasha’s brutal ass kicking yesterday. It was definitely showing in my gait.

“Well, you better make sure Kari definitely takes you to the park tomorrow,” the amusement was clear in Evans voice as he looked up at me. “I promise I’ll ring her every 5 minutes until she gets here.”

Evans was’t coming to the keg party tonight. He’d sworn off them, saying he was far too old for that kind of shit now. By the knowing look on his face, I felt like I may be biting off way more than I can chew tomorrow.

“Yay!” Alexi cheered, throwing her arms around Evans neck giving him a big hug.

The look on Evans face as his daughter hugged him made me feel torn. He looked absolutely blissful cuddling his daughter. His perfect little miracle as Abby and Evans both called her. She really was too. For how premature she was, Alexi was more advanced at all her milestones than kids that weren’t born premature. It made me happy to see her and her Dad looking lost in a perfect moment.

But it made me miss Riley like crazy. This could have been us with our own daughter in a few years. Hell, that could have been Riley that Alexi was hugging instead of Evans if he was still alive. I had no doubt Riley would have the exact same look on his face. Life was a fucking bitch sometimes. Today was going to be harder than I expected. I forced a smile back on my face and pushed those thoughts away for now.

“Why don’t go find Mom?” Evans put Alexi on the ground. She nodded and scooted off towards the kitchen, hollering for Abby. She’d unfortunately gotten very good at drawing out her vowels, so she could yell for quite a long time.

“I was going to ask if you’re okay, but I’ll give you a hug instead,” Evans turned to me. Before I could protest, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in for a firm hug. I sighed, resting my head on his shoulder. “Abby cried for 20 minutes in the shower this morning. I wasn’t much better. It's going to be a rough day without him.”

I nodded, swallowing back the lump in my throat that had suddenly appeared. This wasn’t how I expected the day to turn out. At least there was going to be copious amounts of alcohol at the end of it.

“I was doing all right until Alexi told me Riley went away.” I tried to smile, but it came out wobbly as hell. I really didn’t want to cry. I’d even put on make up for today. “Then I had to promise her I’d always come back.”

“You better,” Evans said, his tone light. “Otherwise I’ll go another 18 years without her sleeping.”

That made me laugh a little, lifting my mood a fraction. Today was going to be hard but at least I had support if things got rough. Jared would be at the service, so I could lean on him if things got too hard. Sam was probably have a hard day as well. It would give me a day drinking buddy at least.

“He would be so, so proud of you,” Evans said softly, giving me another squeeze before releasing me. “Always remember that.”

After New Mexico Clint and I had become kind of bigger legends within SHIELD for going up against an alien robot. While the rest of the world was still talking about what happened at the Stark Expo, SHIELD was going crazy about the real proof of aliens. The attention I was getting was getting a bit unnerving. If I didn’t want to be seen, I’d taken to ducking down corridors while I was invisible. I really hoped it’d die down soon. I did not enjoy being the centre of attention. At least after the first week, most of the STRIKE members were over it and treated us normally.

“Thanks Troy.” This time my smile didn’t feel quite as wobbly. When I swallowed the lump in my throat went away. I hoped I’d be able to hold myself together for the rest of the day.

“Come on, lets get going.”

Alexi came out of the kitchen, holding Abby’s hand. William was fast asleep in his car seat already, making me smile. He was the complete opposite of his sister. He was so quiet and loved his sleep. Without me having to say anything, Abby came over and gave me a tight hug as well. I managed to keep my shit together enough to hug her back and not tear up. I was strong, I could get through today without Riley, no matter how much I wanted him here.

It was a bit of a drive to get to the church where William was being baptised. Despite being squished in the backseat between the 2 kids, it was a fun trip. Alexi was allowed to bring 2 books which I happily read to her. I made it dramatic enough with plenty of sounds, than William laughed along when he woke up. 2 giggling children was hurting my ears and I’m sure Evans was cringing when Alexi’s giggles turned into shrieks. But it was much better than one or both of them crying. Alexi seemed to be taking her bribery about cake and park very seriously because she was a perfect angel all the way into the church.

There was a ridiculous amount of people at the church already. Abby and Evans knew far too many people. The sight of the crowd made Alexi instantly cling to me and bury her head in my shoulder as soon as I got her out of the car. There was no prying her off me. Instead of arguing with her, I let her cling to me. I was feeling a little overwhelmed myself. Thankfully I found some of the Bravo team guys straight away. Jared arrived only a few minutes after us, cheering up Alexi right up. She relinquished her death grip on me and went over to Jared for a hug and to talk his ear off.

I was smiling at the pair, ready to jump in and get Alexi to tease Jared when Abby said my name from behind me. I turned around to see her walking up with another man. Judging by their similar looks, it would be her brother who lived in California. I couldn’t for the life of me remember his name though. He was going to be William’s god father.

“Kari, this is my brother Seb,” Abby introduced us. Her eyes flicked over to Jared with a small smile at the sight of him chatting and hugging Alexi. “That’s her brother Jared and the rest of Troy’s boys can introduce themselves.”

“Hi,” I smiled, but didn’t move to greet him in any other way. He didn’t look like the type to be shaking hands with a girl. Seb looked so much like Abby, except taller. He was a software engineer in California. He looked like the typical to be working in Silicon Valley. Tanned, fit and dressed in an expensive suit. The smell of expensive cologne clung to him. Abby had already pre-warned me he was a very big flirt and I had her permission to smack him if he got out of hand. Judging by the way he was very obviously checking me out, it may be sooner rather than later. Abby gave her brother a warning look before melting back into the crowd.

“Hi everyone.” Seb’s smile was easy and charming. In a way he kind of reminded me of Jared with his easy smile and good looks. “Hey little Munchkin, can Uncle Seb get a hug?”

Alexi scoffed in a way that reminded me far too much of Natasha. She turned away from her Uncle and hugged Jared instead.

“Nothing has changed,” Seb said with a small laugh, not looking perturbed by Alexi’s complete lack of interest. He turned his attention back to me. “It’s nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard so much about you.”

“All good things I hope,” I said smartly. Alexi giggled and reached out for me again before Seb could reply.

“Kari’s mine,” Alexi declared boldly as she came over into my arms. To prove her point she hugged me. It made me melt a little as I hugged her back. She was being utterly adorable today when she wasn’t talking about Riley. It made the group around us laugh.

“Yeah I’ve heard that too,” Seb laughed with us. I didn’t miss him casting another appreciative look over my body. I fought back the urge to roll my eyes at him. He wasn’t being subtle at all. Thinking back to Abby’s words, I opened my mouth to call him out on it.

I was cut off by someone announcing that it was about to start. Being the god mother I was actually going to be up front with everything happening. I actually had no idea what went on at a baptism. None of my family were religious. I felt a little weird being in a church after finding out Norse gods were real.

“Can you go to Jared and behave for me?” I asked Alexi, hoping the earlier promised cake would keep her quiet throughout the ceremony.

“Yep.” Alexi grinned at me before wriggling down out of my arms. Much to my relief she went straight to Jared, holding his hand and smiled up at him. Jared was down to only using his crutches for balance if he had to walk any great distances, so he should be able to juggle her well enough. Jared looked very pleased to be the cool Uncle as well.

“Shall we?” Seb asked, motioning towards the front of the church.

I smiled at him and led the way. I ignored the snickers coming from behind me. I had no doubt I was going to get some serious teasing about Abby’s brother tonight. I could feel him staring at my ass in the tight dark blue jeans I was wearing before he caught up to walk side by side with me.

“I have to admit, you aren’t quite what I pictured,” Seb said with a small chuckle. “When Troy talks about a female STRIKE member I kind of pictured a 200 pound woman covered in tattoos, smoking a cigar with a mini gun.”

“And instead you get a skinny blonde who likes pretty shoes and handbags, but carries around a sniper rifle.” I had to laugh at the mental image of me as Seb described it. It couldn’t be further from the truth. “Sorry to disappoint.”

“I can’t say I’m disappointed at all. I don’t see your sniper rifle here and I really love your boots.” Seb gave me a flirty smile.

“Sniper rifle is in the car, but thank you I like these boots too.” I smiled back, trying not to encourage the flirting. Though like was an understatement. I loved the knee high brown boots I had on. I was going to wear a skirt today but I thought it might be a little inappropriate at the church. I was wrong on that. Most of the women were wearing dresses or skirts. I looked a little out of place in my jeans and nice blouse. But Abby and Evans hadn’t said anything. They’d be the first to tell me if I wasn’t dressed appropriately.

“Abby and Troy really appreciate you being around to help with Alexi,” Seb said, almost a little unnecessarily. I already knew that. They both told me that on a near daily basis. Besides, Abby kept me as well fed and not living off takeaway. Watching Alexi was the least I could do.

“Believe me, I was glad to be home after being away for over a month.” I couldn’t think of much else to say. We’d come to the front of the church, so all I could do was stand here feeling awkward and out of place.

“Yeah, Stark sure knows how to make the world go crazy,” Seb laughed as he stood next to me. Probably a little closer than was polite. “Were you around when it all went down?”

“So classified I can’t even speak about it,” I deflected politely. At least that wasn’t a lie.

“Ah, that’s boring.” Seb didn’t look deterred. “How about after a few drinks? Will it still be really classified?”

“Very.” I moved away an inch, not enough for him to notice but enough for me not to feel crowded anymore. “Like you’ll die and I’ll got to jail for the rest of my life classified.”

“What are you going to jail for now?” Evans spoke up. He was coming up the stairs with William in his arms.

“I’ve never been to jail, I’m a good girl.” I sent a beaming and what I hoped to be innocent smile in Evans direction.

“The 2 speeding tickets in 2 weeks says otherwise,” Evans teased me.

I rolled my eyes at that. I may have missed my bike a little bit too much while I was away. I’d been a little too careless about where I’d opened up my Kawasaki a few times. At least I still had my license. Natasha was being as reckless as me. She was one more point off actually losing her license because she loved her Corvette’s gas pedal a little too much.

“Because you drive a crazy sports car?” Seb asked me.

“No, I have a crazy sports bike,” I corrected him. Technically I owned a nice sports car as well. Riley had left me his BMW. But it was still sitting in the garage at his apartment. One of the Bravo boys would take it out for a drive every other week to keep it running. But like everything else over there, I still wasn’t brave enough to visit that stark reminder of Riley. Everything was a reminder of Riley today. I was so lucky to have incredible support that had let me still avoid that even 6 months down the track.

“Here, go cuddle Aunty Kari.” Evans seemed to sense my shift in mood and handed the smiling baby over to me.

That helped. With William in my arms gurgling and smiling up at me, I felt better. I could even get in a proper cuddle without Alexi hounding me for attention. I glanced to where Jared was sitting with her. Alexi was sitting in Jared’s lap following something on his phone very intently. She wasn’t paying attention to me at all. To my surprise, Natasha was there was well. She caught my eye and gave me a little wink. Sam had sat next to her and though they weren’t talking, they were sitting very close together. Jared and Natasha were talking quietly about something while Alexi stayed amused on Jared’s phone. It was kind of a cute picture.

My attention was pulled back to the front as the priest arrived. I handed William back to Evans and went off to the side with Seb, making sure I kept a good distance between us.

The ceremony itself didn’t take too long. William cried as the water went over his head, but otherwise it was all smooth and straight forward. Seb kept inching towards me until Abby shot him a dirty look halfway through it all. It worked until it was time for a few photos. Everyone wanted photos with Seb and I with William. It felt like an eternity with Seb being quite happy about having his arm around me. It wasn’t until Alexi finally got sick of behaving herself and ran over to me, throwing herself at me and not letting go until I picked her up.

“I’ve been a good girl,” Alexi declared through her giggles as I hiked her up onto my hip. “Cake time?”

“Soon.” I smiled at her. She looked utterly adorable how she was grinning at me right now. “Did you behave for Jared and Nat?”

“Tasha,” Alexi corrected me, looking serious as she nodded solemnly. “Tasha said time for cake.”

Of course she did. Natasha wasn’t above filling up anyone’s kids with sugar. Evans and Abby had rented the hall attached to the church and gotten in caterers for the lunch. Considering how many people were here, I’d hate to think how much it was costing them. But I was starving and ready for food.

“Fine, we’ll go find cake,” I promised, hiking her up on my hip a little higher. At my words, Alexi grinned and gave me a kiss on my cheek. There was way too much spit in it, but it was adorable. She hugged me a second later.

“She’s so damn cute with you.” Seb appeared at my side again as Alexi hugged me. I could feel rather than hear Alexi’s sigh of annoyance against my skin. She really didn’t like her Uncle. According to Abby, Seb had only seen her a handful of times since she was born.

“It can change in a heartbeat,” I said dryly. I looked over towards Jared and Natasha, hoping one of them would get the message that I needed a wingman. A second later, Natasha caught my eye and headed straight over to me.

“Do you want me to beat his ass?” Natasha asked in Russian, smiling brightly.

“Not just yet. It’s getting close though,” I replied back in Russian, smothering a laugh. There was a definite advantage of being able to speak another language. You could have a conversation about murdering someone while smiling and no one would be any wiser.

“Natasha,” she introduced herself to Seb and back in English. “You know you aren’t being subtle in the slightest. The entire room could tell you spent more time looking at Kari’s ass than paying attention to your god son.”

I didn’t know whether to laugh or be mortified at Natasha’s declaration. Then again, if I wanted subtle I shouldn’t have looked to Natasha for help.

“I’m not…” Seb started, looking embarrassed. But Natasha cut him off quickly.

“Didn’t we promise Munchkin some cake?” Natasha turned back to me, completely ignoring Seb. He was standing there gaping and looking bright red. If it wasn’t over his flirting already, I may have felt a little sorry for him. Natasha hooked her arm through mine and walked off. Alexi giggled, while nodding vigorously at Natasha’s promise of cake.

“Thanks,” I said, huffing a small sigh of relief as we got away. People were starting to filter out of the church, so it was a perfect excuse to get lost in the crowd.

“You have more self control than I do.” Natasha shook her head, looking mildly disgusted. “I would have punched him 20 minutes ago when he couldn’t stop grabbing onto you for photos.”

“Fingers were about to be broken.” I scanned the crowd looking for Jared. We’d lost him along the way. Alexi had gone quiet, drooping against my shoulder with her thumb in her mouth. No doubt the cake would perk her up soon though.

“It’s a little creepy.” Natasha wrinkled her nose. “Surely he knows the history, yet he tries anyway.”

“Some guys are desperate like that.” Not that Seb looked like he’d ever be short of female company if he wanted it.

“Desperate like what?” Jared suddenly appeared next to me, wobbling a little on his crutches. Even Alexi jumped at his sudden appearance. No one around us was gawking so he must have snuck up like a normal person for once in his life.

“Seb.” Natasha filled in, scowling at my twin. He’d made her jump as well. “You’re getting sneaky on those crutches.”

“Are we making him disappear?” Jared’s face lit up ignoring Natasha’s little grumble at him. “Mojave or Gobi desert?”

“Neither, stop it.” I quickly stomped on their plans. No matter how annoying Seb was being he didn’t quite deserve Natasha or Jared’s wrath.

“What are we stopping?” Sam piped up from behind me. “I heard Gobi desert. Who’s body parts are we spreading around?”

I groaned. Of course someone would over hear us.

“Seb,” Natasha supplied for him as Sam fell into step with us. “Because he won’t stop staring at Kari’s ass.”

“Oh excellent, I was plotting that myself.” The grin on Sam’s face was nothing short of feral. “I’ll help hide the body. Where’s Barton?”

Lila had ballet lessons and Cooper was playing baseball so he wasn’t able to make the baptism. He’d be at the keg party though.

“He had something on,” Natasha lied with an easy shrug. “He’ll be at the keg party later. If we need something quiet to kill Seb with, I’m sure between the 4 of us we can manage.”“Me too,” Alexi piped up, lifting her head off my shoulder. I’d thought she had dropped off to sleep because she’d gone so quiet. We all laughed at her declaration. Evans would kill us all for corrupting his daughter so young. The mood instantly lightened and Natasha changed the subject to asking if Sam was coming to the keg party. Their conversation made me want to roll my eyes. Of course Sam was going to be there and Natasha already knew that. He’d been sleeping at Natasha’s place more than this own lately. Natasha had made the comment the other day that she needed to stop having him around so much. Someone was going to get their heart broken if things kept going the way they were.

Somedays I was pretty sure she wasn’t talking about Sam getting hurt. This was one of those days.

Lunch was set up as a buffet so I was able to pile my plate obscenely high. Alexi shared everything with me, giggling and chattering away the entire time. After she got her promised cake, she went off with a group of children outside. Despite her young age, she was definitely the leader of the pack. When one of the boys dared to question her, she sent him a glare that made Natasha very proud and got her own way. She was going to be a force to be reckoned with when she was older.

As usual with social functions, Bravo team gravitated together throughout the afternoon. Cobb wasn’t there so it made for a blissfully peaceful afternoon as we ate and drank together. I even managed to avoid Seb and sneak in a few cuddles with William while Alexi was occupied. Despite the rough start to the morning, it’d be a near perfect day. The lunch was winding down and I’d gone to grab another piece of cake for the road when Seb found me again.

“Are you heading off already?” He asked, looking mildly disappointed.

“Yep.” I licked a bit of stray frosting off my finger. “Keg party tonight.”

“I was hoping we could grab dinner together before I go back to Cali?” Seb didn’t dance around the subject. “I’ll be here for another week.”

I raised an eyebrow. I had to give it to the guy, he had some balls to come right out and ask.

“No, thank you,” I said in what I hoped to be polite, but firm. “No offence but I’m really not interested.”

“Look, I know all about Riley,” Seb started. His tone instantly put me on the defensive as I bristled at his condescending tone. “The first steps of healing are to start moving on. Riley and I got along really well and I know he’d want you to be happy. I could take good care of you.”

“Wow.” I was speechless for a few seconds as I blinked at Seb. He was completely fucking this up if he was trying to get in my pants. Some girls might want a knight in shining armour to come up and save them. But I definitely wasn’t one of them. “Do I look I need someone to look after me?”

I had nothing else to say. I spun on my heel and went to storm off. Seb grabbed my arm before I could get too far.

“Kari…” He started. I didn’t let him get too far. I twisted his wrist so I was out on his grip, before effectively locking his hand and pushing his wrist back in a painful position. He immediately winced as I put just enough pressure on it to render him speechless with pain.

“I didn’t give you permission to touch me.” I couldn’t believe this guys nerve. I let go on his wrist as quickly as I had gripped it. “Next time you won’t get out of it so easily.”

This time he didn’t touch me as I walked off. Our little altercation hadn’t gone unnoticed as I walked back to the group. There were plenty of barely contained snickers of amusement and a few proud looks thrown my way. Seb wasn’t spared from Jared or Natasha’s laughter. I even got a hug from Jared. I was feeling very smug with myself. It was funny to think just over a year ago, I’d never be able to do something like that. I had grown a lot as a person. After doing the round of good byes from the team, I found Evans and Abby to say goodbye.

“I’d apologise for my asshole of a brother, but I think you put him into his place,” Abby said, laughing as she hugged me. “You do your STRIKE team proud. You have my permission to kick him in the balls for his out of control ego next time.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” I laughed with Abby. “I didn’t want to make a scene, but he was being really annoying. Sorry if I was out of line.”

“Nope, I know what he’s like,” Abby said with a frustrated look. “Have fun tonight. Ring if you need anything. Don’t drink too much and don’t even think about driving.”

“Yes, Mom,” I said playfully. I doubted I’d be in the right mind to ring them later on if I needed something. We were watching a cab from Clint’s place and going back there afterwards. Well, that was the plan. Anything could happen between leaving and the stupid amounts of alcohol that were consumed at keg parties.

It took another 20 minutes to pry Alexi off me. It was only another piece of cake and multiple promises about the park tomorrow that got her off me. She gave me the most pitiful look, waving sadly as we drove away in Natasha’s Corvette.

Clint was ready to go and already had a cab at the kerb as we pulled into the driveway. With a hollered hello to Laura and the kids, we all squished into the cab.

The keg party was being held at Rumlow’s house. He lived on the opposite side of Silver Spring from Evans. I’d never been to his place before so I was really surprised when we pulled up in front of a very large 2 story house with a perfectly manicured garden and lawn.

“I would have never picked that,” I said, looking around gawking at the gorgeous brick home and surrounds. STRIKE was well paid, but this looked a little more than something you could get a STRIKE salary.

“Wait until you see his pool,” Natasha said, reaching over tugging my hand to keep walking. “Its like the ultimate bachelor party pad.”

That I didn’t doubt in the slightest. I followed Natasha through the house, trying not to gawk at the nice interior. Either Rumlow had a secret talent for interior decoration, or he paid someone really well to do it for him. We walked out the back, onto a large entertaining deck. Natasha had been right about the pool. It looked like it’d been carved into the hill of the backyard. The rock formation around it made it look like a natural waterfall into the oversized pool. It looked amazing. I was very glad I listened to Natasha and brought a bikini with me. Even if it was going to be freezing.

“Ladies.” Rumlow came up from behind us, draping an arm over both Natasha and I while I gawked at the pool. “What can I get for you?”

“Vodka.”

“Scotch.”

“Should have guessed,” Rumlow’s tone was teasing at our drink choices. He didn’t bother to take his arms off us as he started to steer us to the side of the deck. “Follow me to the bar. You’re welcome to help yourselves. Everyone else can use the keg.”

“Wow, you’re feeling generous.” Natasha looked over to him with disbelief all over her face. “What are you plotting Brock?”

“Nothing at all.” The smirk on his face was anything but sincere. I had a terrible feeling I was being set up for something later. “Have fun and don’t break anything back here.”

Rumlow’s bar was just inside the house off the deck. It was very well stocked including some quite expensive bottles of liquor. Without another word he left Natasha and I alone. I went straight for the top shelf scotch and handed Natasha a bottle of good vodka.

“Am I going to regret this?” I asked, turning to rummage through the fridge for some ginger ale. The fridge was stocked very well with cans of ginger ale. There was even 2 bottles of apple juice for Natasha. It was her new thing to do with vodka. It seems Rumlow was well prepared for us.

“Deeply.”

There was already quite a crowd here. It took us ages to get back to Clint and Jared because everyone wanted to stop and say hello. A few of the guys must have been pre-drinking pretty hard, because there was some slurred words already. There were a few new faces around that I didn’t know thanks to some shuffling around of teams. It wasn’t anything unusual. Guys got hurt, guys got transferred to other STRIKE teams around the country and Echo team had lost one of its members in a car crash a few weeks ago.

We found Clint and Jared by the snack table, deep in discussion about whether green Skittles were better than red ones.

“You two are idiots.” I snagged a handful of Skittles from the bowl. “It only makes a difference when you’re making Skittle flavoured vodka.”

“Speaking of vodka,” Jared said, looking at Natasha’s cup. “Why do you have vodka? And why do you have scotch?”

Jared’s gaze turned to my near empty cup. The scotch had gone down a little too well. I was nearly ready for a refill.

“Rumlow said we could,” I said. There wasn’t anything else to say about it. “That what happens when I use my attractive face and body to get drinks.”

“Ugh Kari, if you need to use your attractive face to get drinks off Rumlow, we’re going to have a very long discussion in your taste of men.” Jared pulled a disgusted face at me. “Even Seb would have been better than that.”

“Funny.” I scoffed, feeling irritated thinking back to what happened earlier. “Treat me like a fucking damsel in distress. I could snap his neck with my thighs.”

“Who’s neck are we snapping with your thighs?” Rumlow joined in the conversation, reaching over and grabbing a handful of Skittles. I had to give it to him, the man knew how to put on a party. The snack table was very extensive. Apparently there’d be pizza coming later as well.

“Abby’s brother, Seb,” I explained, screwing up my nose in disgust. “Tried to do the whole Prince Charming, ride in on a white horse bullshit with me to get in my pants.”

“Aww Kari’s got an admirer,” Rumlow teased. “Let me guess, if he shows up on your doorstep with chocolate and roses you’ll shoot him?”

“After I take the chocolate,” I said seriously, trying not to laugh at the tease. “Like I told Riley, I’m a come over naked, bring beer and pizza kind of girl. Not chocolates and flowers.”

Someone behind me choked on their drink. I turned around to see one of the new guys on Rumlow’s team currently spluttering and turning bright red as he gawked at me.

“Like that image did you?” I asked him with a raised eyebrow. Without waiting for an answer I turned back to Rumlow. “I need another scotch.”

“Me too,” Rumlow laughed again, looking over to his still red teammate. “Down Tex. That’s one pair of thighs you don’t want to be climbing between.”

The poor guy was still bright red and gaping like a fish out of water as Rumlow and I walked off towards the bar. I waited until we were out of earshot before I asked.

“Please don’t tell me you call him Tex because he’s from Texas,” I asked with a small laugh. I’d seen the new guy around, but hadn’t learnt his name yet. If my memory served me correctly, there was a Southern accent attached to him though.

“Yes, he’s from Texas and he said to call him that,” Rumlow said, laughing with me. “He’s an ex Ranger and you know how it is when nicknames stick. He’s my fill in marksman until Gibson comes back.”

“What happened to Gibson?” A month home and I still hadn’t caught up with everything that was happening. I’d noticed the Alpha team marksman had been absent, but I had no idea why.

“He…” Rumlow started, before trailing off looking uncomfortable. He scratched at the stubble on his chin before he answered. “Gibson tried to kill himself while you guys were in New Mexico. Slit his wrist, but missed anything major.”

“Fuck.” That news made me stop in my tracks. Gibson was one of the most down to earth guys in STRIKE. He was one guy who seemed to have his shit together. I never would have picked that. But then again, with our stressful jobs it sometimes didn’t take much to make guys snap. “What happened?”

“We had a bad mission,” Rumlow shrugged, looking a little helpless. “He had to take out a kid that had a suicide vest on. It fucked with him pretty bad. He kept it bottled up until he couldn’t take it any longer.”

Unfortunately it wasn’t a rare occurrence in Enforcement within SHIELD. He wasn’t the first guy I’d heard of who’d done something similar. He certainly wouldn’t be the last. I knew what it felt like to hit rock bottom and want it all the end. I was thankful that I scared that out of myself that night.

“Poor Tommy.” I smiled sadly, calling Gibson by his given name. “Where is he now?”

“Still at John Hopkins.” Rumlow returned the sad smile. “Doing better now though. He should be out soon.”

I’d have to visit him and take something good. Maybe I could bribe Greg into making me some brownies to take up. Thinking of Greg, I pulled my phone out of my pocket. He had the night off, again, by some minor miracle, and was heading out drinking with friends as well. There was no texts from Greg. Only a very pained one from Gareth asking me to kill him now. I snorted with laughter as I tapped out a reply. Gareth was visiting his family this weekend in Utah. It was his Dad’s 60th birthday party and he hadn’t been looking forward to dealing with his family for the entire weekend.

“Who’s that?” Rumlow asked, trying to peek over my phone.

“None of your business is who it is,” I said smartly, shifting the screen so he couldn’t see. We’d come to the bar and Rumlow made himself busy making me another drink.

“Fuck buddy or still too soon?” Rumlow couldn’t seem to help himself as he poured me a double scotch. I looked up at him, judging his expression. It didn’t look like he was asking just to be an asshole. He looked genuinely curious and concerned with his question.

“Eh, still too soon,” I said truthfully, eyeing off my cup warily. That drink was going to hurt no matter how much of a nice blend the scotch was. “Why do I have a feeling you’re getting me drunk for a reason?”  
“You’ll just have to find out, won’t you?” The mischievous smirk on Rumlow’s face melted away the serious conversation from before. He topped up the scotch with ginger ale and slid it over to me. “You should jump in the pool before you get too drunk.”

“Sounds like a plan to me. Where can I get changed?” I asked, taking a sip of the drink. It was so strong my eyes watered at the tiny sip I took. I forced down the cough that nearly came up. Maybe strong was too nice of a word for the drink.

“Where ever you feel like it, I’m sure no one will mind,” Rumlow’s mischievous smirk only grew bigger. I shot him a dirty look and he quickly changed his tune. “Bathroom is that way.”

“Thanks.” I took my drink and went to find the bag contained my bikini. I didn’t get far, Natasha was rounding the corner as I stepped back out onto the deck with the bag in hand.

“Great minds think alike,” I said with a small chuckle. I took another tiny sip of my strong drink, wincing at the burn. “Apparently I need to swim before I’m too drunk.”

“The boys are setting up the volleyball net.” The gleam in Natasha’s eye was a little scary. “Lets show them how its done.”

My skimpy bikini was not meant for anything more than lounging around beside the pool. This was going to be a disaster. I should have thought my swim suit choice through a little harder than throwing in the little black string number that was in my bag. I shrugged off the feeling of dread and followed Natasha into the bathroom to get changed.

The volleyball game was well into the swing of things by the time we got out. It was getting a little ferocious by the amount of cussing and splashing going on already. Against my better judgement, I took a huge swig of my drink and jumped in, splashing Jared and Clint.

“Oh fuck no, you can’t have both the girls on your team.” One of the Alpha team boys complained right away. “We get Kari.”

“That’s fair.” I didn’t argue about it. I felt a little gleeful at them wanting me instead of Natasha. I was never picked first for sports in school. It made me feel like a popular kid for once in my life.

I swam under the net, emerging on the other side. I barely had time to stand up before the ball was flying at my head. I barely managed to send it flying back, my bikini bottom riding up my ass as I did it. Judging by the evil smirk on Clint’s face, it was done on purpose to. Jared was laughing so hard he missed sending the ball back.

“You’re so dead Barton.” I scowled at him, trying to discreetly pick out my wedgie. There was no graceful or proper way to do it. I was well aware of 6 pairs of eyes now glued to my ass.

“Bring it on,” Clint taunted back at me. He had the ball again and was casually tossing it between his hands.

I barely had time to react, Clint smashed the ball towards me so quick. It was only the reflexes I’ve developed over the last year that saved my ass. From there, the game dissolved into some weird kind of dodgeball. One of the Echo team guys ended up with a bloody nose and when the booze wore off, I’m sure there’d be more than a few bruises. I’d have an impressive one up my ribs from where Jared got in a beautiful hit. As much as it hurt, I had to admit it was an impressive throw.

My cup getting mysteriously topped up while I was in the pool. I was starting to feel a little drunk already, despite the early hour. The sun was just starting to go down, leaving the night air chilly. It was more than time for me to get out of the pool and get some food. Pizza had arrived not too long ago and if I didn’t hurry there’d be none left. Feeding 5 STRIKE teams was like feeding a small army. Fortunately for me I found a meatlovers on top of the first pile I went to. Being starving, despite my huge lunch, I took the whole thing with me.

“I will pay you $50 if you can finish that entire pie,” The drunken declaration came from one of the Charlie boys. He must have been one of the newer guys because I didn’t know him.

“Done.” I was drunk and hungry enough to not back down from that challenge. I kicked Marks’ leg, so he’d scoot over on the couch for me.

“You’re dumb,” Marks scowled at the Charlie team guy. “Have you ever seen her eat?”

Ever since our training had kicked up, I was always hungry. It was ridiculous the amount of food I could put away. It was a small blessing from the on and off appetite I had for ages. I was very glad the other Mom’s in my life were more than happy to keep me fed. I’d be very fat living off the amount of takeaway I’d need to put away to satisfy my current appetite.

I shovelled the pizza into my mouth with no grace or style. I really was starving. It wasn’t until halfway through the last slice I was stuffed. Still, I soldiered on and made sure the entire thing was gone. The conversation around me had died off while I finished my last few bites. I made a show of stuffing the last bit of crust in my mouth, chewing a lot louder than was polite and swallowed very obviously.

“Where the fuck do you fit all of that?” The Charlie team guy looked impressive and disgusted all at once. He grumbled under his breath while putting his wallet out. “Can I shove the money down your bikini bottom.”

“Absolutely not,” I scoffed, snapping my fingers for the promised money. “Despite the story, I never actually stripped that night.”

Once I’d agreed to coming to this keg party, someone had spread the story about the time before SHIELD when I picked up Jared from one. Apparently I was going to go down in STRIKE history for pretending to be a stripper and walking out with they money.

“I have a few more hundreds….” the Charlie guy started and was very quickly cut off by Marks.

“No.” He said firmly, shaking his head. “Unlike some of the other guys here, Bravo team does not need to see Kari naked.”

The Charlie guy pouted, but handed over the promised $50. I tucked it into my bikini top, feeling very pleased with myself.

“I thought you’d like my itty bitty bikini,” I teased Marks, turning so I could face him on the couch. I was grateful for his intervention. Someone might have gotten a beating before the night was over otherwise.

“I feel like that’s way too much of a loaded question,” Marks said dryly, though he was smiling. “I’m going to get in trouble no matter how I answer it, aren’t I?”

“Quite possibly,” I laughed as I stood up. I needed to put some more clothes on before I froze to death. I took another swig of my lethal drink. It wasn’t burning quite as badly now. That wasn’t a good sign. “I’m gonna get dressed so people stop staring.”

I was a bit wobbly as I went back to the bathroom and got redressed. I took a few more drinks as I struggled back into the tight jeans. The food belly from the pizza wasn’t helping me get them back on. Neither was my lack of coordination. But I managed to get dressed without breaking anything. For my reward, I downed the rest of my drink.

I only made it 3 steps back into the bar when Rumlow thrust a new drink in my hand. This time it was a lethal looking cocktail.

“Long island iced tea,” Rumlow had to raise his voice over the music that was now playing. “Romanoff is on her third. You better catch up.”

This was going to hurt. I didn’t bother with the straw, I started chugging down the cocktail and was finished the first glass before Rumlow could make another one. Things started to get very fuzzy after that.

I woke up to the sun shining in my face in a puddle of my own drool on a very hard pillow. I groaned as I opened my eyes as a pounding headache made itself know. It felt like I’d been chewing on Clint’s gym socks. It wasn’t a hard pillow I was lying on. It was Clint’s chest. I’d been sprawled across him. I could clearly see my puddle of drool on his chest. It might have made me laugh if it wasn’t for my hangover. I had no idea who’s room we were in. Probably one of Rumlow’s spare rooms

I dragged myself out of bed, thankfully still fully dressed, and blindly fumbled for my phone. It was nearly midday. I squinted at the lone text message on the homescreen. It was from Gareth.

_Thanks for the drunken phone sex. Again. We should try it when you’re sober one night._

Ugh. Fuck my life and my poor life decisions when I was drunk. I threw my phone down in disgust and got up. The room spun around me, but thankfully the pizza and whatever it was I’d drunk last night stayed firmly down. Now I was upright, my headache didn’t feel quite as bad. Seeing the 4 empty Gatorade bottles on the floor means someone was sober enough to make sure I didn’t die this morning. Clint was snoring was no signs of moving as I slowly made my way across the room.

My body ached as I shuffled to the bathroom. The room had an ensuite off it which was a small mercy. I collapsed on the toilet, feeling like I’d been throw a meat grinder. There were bruises all down my legs which I had no idea where they’d come from. I could feel a very tender patch on my ribs, no doubt where Jared hit me with the ball. It felt like I’d been wrestling none stop with Natasha for hours. Judging by the bruises and the few long fingernail scrapes up one side of my leg, it was quite possible that it what I’d been doing.

Still, a few bruises was a small price to pay for my first keg party. It could have been worse. I’d heard all the stories before. I wasn’t in hospital and I could feel all the hair still on my head, so this was a very good start to my keg party life.

Once I was finished on the toilet, I got up and splashed some water on my face. Looking in the mirror made me take a second glance at my reflection.

It wasn’t the black eye that made me look twice. It was the pink hair I was now sporting. The very, very fluorescent pink that was so bright it made my eyes hurt.

Rumlow was a dead man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so much fun to write, even I'm a little shocked at how quickly I got through it.
> 
> Thank you for your comments and kudos everyone! I'm always thrilled to see them. It really keeps me motivated to write. I promised myself I'd do 2 updates every month, so despite the wait for the last one, I still managed to get it done. I hope everyone enjoys it as much as I enjoyed writing it.


	60. Chapter 60

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am on a roll with updates at the moment! I did have some of this pre-written so it definitely helped with the quick update. Thanks for your comments and kudos everyone! I don't always get a chance to reply to them, but I always read every single comment on here and it makes my day to get them.

It took 3 weeks before I could really get my revenge on Rumlow. My hair was still a hideous shade of light pink, despite the constant washing. I’d resorted to finding a hairdresser to try and strip it out, but only ended up with a lighter shade of pink. Whatever was used to dye my hair wasn’t hair dye. It was more like industrial strength clothes dye. Trying to strip the colour out only ended up in my hair being dry and brittle so the hairdresser wanted to wait a few more weeks before giving it another shot. I was beyond annoyed. At least everyone had stopped commenting on it now. Even Alexi had lost her fascination with my unicorn hair, as she called it.

Rumlow and I had been doing petty stuff to each other in pay back. There had been some minor theft. I'd dumped a few jars of glitter in his gym bag and disconnected his car battery. Rumlow put a stink bomb in my locker and hid my motorbike jacket so I froze on the way home one night. It was Wednesday morning and I was enjoying a long soak in the shower by myself. Natasha had to see Andrew this morning and we’d run late while sparring. So she’d gone straight to Andrew and I had the bathroom to myself. Clint had a meeting with Coulson about something as well and promised to do a bagel run for breakfast afterwards.

The door to the bathroom opened and I didn’t bother to look out. It’d either be Natasha or Clint. I was enjoying being able to stand in the shower and soak away the last of the muscle soreness to care. The door closed about 30 seconds later, which made me look up. That was odd. Natasha would usually make some kind of grumbling noise if she had to go back out to her locker for something. I turned off the shower and wrapped my towel around me.

Stepping out into the bathroom, I felt a mixture of dread and anger as my gym bag was nowhere to be seen. The only thing sitting on the bench was my clean underwear and bra.

“You’re so fucking dead Rumlow.”

I knew exactly who it was right away. It was only a matter of time before our childish pranks grew into something a little more sinister. I was going to put an end to this once and for all. Without drying off, I pulled on my underwear and bra and stormed back out to the locker room.

The room instantly fell silent at the sight of me storming out of the bathroom half naked. I glanced around the room and didn’t find Rumlow anywhere. Sam, being the only smart person left in STRIKE, silently pointed at the mens bathroom door. While seething, I went to Clint’s locker, yanking the door open with more force than necessary and pulled out exactly what I needed. It was a good thing we’d been practicing close quarter combat yesterday, otherwise I would have never been able to get my hands on what I needed.

I walked to the men’s bathroom and pulled the pin on the flashbang and smoke grenade. I didn’t hesitate. I opened the door and threw both of them in. 5 seconds later, the mens bathroom erupted into chaos.

Smoke billowed out as guys came stumbling out, coughing and swearing. As soon as the smoke hit the locker room the fire alarm started going off, shutting down the power to the building immediately. Emergency lights came on and the order to evacuate the building started blaring over the loudspeaker. There was no time for the guys who were in the shower to grab clothes.

I stood in the middle of it all, insanely pleased with myself as the utter chaos going on around me. It had worked a lot better than I thought it would. No one had time to yell at me either, everyone was too busy getting out of the locker room. Dressed or not.

The only downside to my plan, was there was no time for me to grab clothes either. I had to walk out in the crowd of STRIKE in my underwear as well. At least it was better than just a towel like all of the guys who were in the shower.

“Kari.”

Sam’s voice carried to me. He was pushing his way through the crowd to get to me. As he got to me, he handed me a pair of gym shorts.

“Thanks.” I couldn’t stop the stupid grin from appearing on my face. The amount of trouble I was going to get in was well worth this. Rumlow was one of the guys in nothing but a towel. A very short towel that barely covered the essentials. I yanked on the shorts as we moved, nearly falling flat on my face a few times before I got them up. They were way too big on me, but I was able to make them tight enough they didn’t fall down. Thankfully no one was pissed enough to make a scene as we all got out. But there were plenty of dirty looks being thrown my way by those still in their towels. The rest of the STRIKE guys looked torn between laughing or being annoyed their morning got interrupted.

We emerged into the morning sunlight onto the exercise oval, with most of the Triskelion staff behind us. It was utter chaos as everyone tried to find their designated spots. I was a good girl, I plonked down on the ground next to Sam and the rest of Bravo team joining in their conversation. Evans appeared a few minutes later, looking mildly harassed about shit happening so early in the work day.

It quickly got packed as the Triskelion was cleared. Natasha and Clint were the last of the stragglers to arrive. Natasha was still talking to Andrew, staying to the side of the general chaos.

“What happened?” Clint asked, ungracefully plonking down on the ground next to me. Before I could protest, he’d shed off his jacket and dropped it over my shoulders.

“Someone threw a flashbang and smoke grenade in the showers,” I said innocently, arranging his jacket around me. “Caused a bit of a problem.”

“Who the fuck would do that?” Clint rolled his eyes, looking mildly pissed off. It made my stomach drop a little as the shitty look on his face. Maybe I was the only one who was going to find the little stunt I pulled funny.

“No idea.” I found a piece of grass to start shredding so I didn’t have to look Clint in the face. “I was in the shower.”

“Huh.” It was the only thing Clint said. I could feel his stare boring into the side of my head as I continued to play with the grass. I was such a bad liar. There was a part of me that wanted to slink away so I didn’t get in trouble. There was also another part of me that was very gleeful of the chaos I had caused. “Where’d the flashbang come from?”

It took every ounce of my self control not to blurt out I took one from his locker. I shrugged, biting down on the inside of my cheek so I wouldn’t crack under Clint’s firm stare.

“Kari?” Clint prompted me. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye and saw his lips twitching, like he was trying to hide a smile. “Did you get back at Rumlow for dying your hair pink by throwing a flashbang and smoke grenade in the showers?”

“No, I threw the flashbang and smoke grenade in the shower for him stealing my clothes this morning.” I was made. I may as well tell the truth. It was getting really hard to keep a straight face.

To my relief and delight, Clint threw his head back and laughed so hard half the STRIKE force turned to look at him. It took him a good minute before he was composed enough to speak again. He had to stop and wipe his face before he could continue through his chuckles.

“You have no idea how proud I am of you right now,” Clint was breathless through his chuckles. “Oh fuck me that was perfect. You just cemented my answer to Coulson this morning.”

“Answer to what?” It was my turn to stare a hole in the side of Clint’s head. I knew he’d been talking to Coulson, but I had no idea what it was about.

“Trust me, you’ll love it.” Clint’s wide grin was contagious. I couldn’t help but grin back at him. “You have made my week by doing this.”

“By doing what?” Natasha joined us, gracefully sitting down so she was facing both of us.

“Someone who will go nameless,” Clint said, looking directly at me. “Threw a smoke grenade and flashbang in the mens bathroom as payback to another certain someone.”

Natasha looked at me with her eyebrows raised so high, I was sure they’d disappear into her hairline. It wasn’t often I did something that made Natasha speechless. I was going to cherish this moment for a very long time.

“STRIKE!” The bellowing voice of Nick Fury himself came booming across the oval. Every single STRIKE member jumped up and snapped to some sort of attention. All of a sudden, the eyes of every single worker in the Triskelion were on us. Director Fury came storming towards the mass that was STRIKE, his trademark leather trench coat billowing out behind him. Everything went eerily silent as he came to stand in front of us all. “Who the fuck decided it’d be a good idea to throw grenades around inside?”

No one spoke. I’m sure no one breathed as the silence stretched on for what felt like an eternity. I knew I was holding my breath, waiting for someone to rat me out. Looking back, it probably wasn't the smartest thing I could have done. But at least it was satisfying. Not that it was going to be a comfort when Fury found out it was me who did it. I dared to peek up under my eyelashes at the group of men around me. No one even looked in my direction, though there were some strained faces.

“So, Mr Nobody.” Fury’s voice was completely void of emotion as he stared all of us down. “A smoke grenade just got up by itself, wandered into the shower and set itself off like a suicide bomber.”

I had to bite down on the inside of my cheek, hard, to stop myself laughing at the mental image that popped into my head. Judging by the few cleared throats and some silent, shaking shoulders, I wasn’t the only one having really inappropriate thoughts right now. This was not the time or place to burst out laughing because I got the image of a smoke grenade with legs in my head.

“Last chance before all of you are in the shit,” Fury growled, his one good eye sweeping over us again. It might have been my imagination, but I swear he glared right at me for longer than anyone else. “No takers?”

I held my breath again waiting for someone to dob me in. But there was nothing. It was that moment where I felt such a sense of belonging, I nearly teared up. STRIKE really was having another family. We may not all get along, but we always looked after each other. I thought Cobb might have been the one to speak up. But it remained completely silent.

“STRIKE leaders, my office.” Fury’s voice turned oddly calm. “As soon as the locals give us the all clear.”

I dared to peek a glance at Clint and Natasha. They were both staring ahead, stony and silent. If I didn’t know them like I did, I’d say both of them were simply bored. But Natasha’s eyebrows were furrowed ever so slightly like she was concentrating on keeping a straight face. Clint had a little indention on his cheek where he was biting it to stop himself laughing.

It took 45 minutes for the local firefighters come in and clear the locker room. Seeing Rumlow shivering his ass off in his tiny towel made me feel all kinds of smug. But I had a feeling I hadn’t won yet. I might not enjoy the payback he had in mind either. But for now, I’d take the happy high. It all came crashing down when we were about to head in and Coulson found us. All he did was point his finger at me and then back at the building. No words were needed to know I was gong straight to his office. Some of my previous glee deflating as I knew I was about to be in trouble.

“Ha ha,” Rumlow tanned me under his breath as I walked passed him. “You’re gonna be in trouble.”

I grabbed his towel as I walked by and gave it a firm yank. His reflexes saved everyone from getting a full frontal eyeful. But he was bare assed for a few seconds before he get the towel rearranged.

“Thank you Kari!”

I have no idea who the female voice was who yelled over the top of the crowd. But I guessed I made someone’s day by Rumlow’s bare ass hanging out. The laughter rippled through the crowd. I walked a little quicker so I wouldn’t get my pants pulled down, or something equally as embarrassing. I ducked into the locker room, grabbed a shirt and my sneakers before heading up to Coulson’s office. Beyond training this morning, I don’t think we had anything planned. Yesterday’s close quarter training had been a long day. I was looking forward to a lazy day on the couch eating junk food before taking Lila to her ballet lesson.

Coulson wasn’t in his office when I got there, so I poured both of us a coffee. Having a fresh coffee on his desk might put him in a better mood. He didn’t look very happy when he found me before. Thankfully I didn’t have to wait long to see what this was all about. As soon as I put his Darth Vader mug on the desk, Coulson walked into his office.

“Why do I suddenly feel like I’m being bribed?” The traces of his serious face from before was gone. Coulson looked almost excited.

“Why do I feel like I’ve just walked into a trap?” I deferred answering his question.

“No trap, though Fury is ready to kill someone for what happened in the locker room. Any idea of who it was?” Coulson asked me so casually, I was sure he already knew. He had a sixth sense like that.

“Nope, I was getting dressed when it happened” I said, taking a sip of coffee to hide my lie. Coulson always kept a few really good blends in his office. This one tasted identical to the coffee Stark drank. I needed to ask Pepper was it was so I could get some for home.

“That’s a shame.” Coulson’s innocent expression mirrored my own as he turned a file on his desk and slid it over towards me. “Because if you told me who it was, you get to go on this.”

The file was labelled Training Exercise Black Bag. My curiosity was more than piqued as I went to open the file. Coulson firmly shut it before I could glance at the first page.

“A name and you get to go.”

“That’s bribery Coulson.” I was trying really, really hard not to smile. It was such a trap. If I said it was me, I’d be in trouble and not allowed to go on whatever this training exercise was. If I didn’t say anything I wouldn’t be allowed to go either. Dammit. I was fucked.

“It was me,” I admitted, trying to smother my pride. I was going to be in so much trouble. “I’m sorry. Rumlow stole my gym bag and left me with nothing but my underwear and bra.”

Coulson sighed heavily, the corners of his lips twitching in a vain attempt for him not to smile.

“This bullshit between you and Rumlow ends now, do you understand?” Coulson’s firm voice wavered a little as he tried to look at me sternly. “No more, you’ve both had your payback so enough.”

“Yes Coulson,” I said instantly. I was happy to be done with our petty pranks. The Triskelion might actually burn down if we kept going. “I’m sorry for this morning. I lost my temper and it was very inappropriate.”

“Noted,” Coulson said dryly, though a small smile had appeared. “That was very creative of you.”

Coulson slid the folder back over to me.

“I did promise you could go if you told me who it was. This doesn’t mean you aren’t getting punished for the other thing.”

“I will take whatever punishment you give me fairly and with minimal grumbling.” I picked up the folder, keen to see what I was doing. This must have been what Clint was talking about earlier. What I saw made me look back up to Coulson in surprise.

“Every so often all the military special forces, along with specialists from CIA, FBI and other government agencies are thrown together into a situation,” Coulson filled me in, watching my face carefully.. “The idea is to see where each and every organisation has holes in their training and how it can be improved. This time, you’ve been selected for SHIELD.”

“Over who?” I couldn’t stop the little flutter of pride rising up in me. Competition for things like this would be hot. SHIELD could have sent anyone from STRIKE for this. But here I was feeling my ego getting bigger by the second.

“It was an unanimous decision amongst the STRIKE leaders here to send you.” Coulson’s stern face finally fell away completely as he smiled over at me. “I have Clint the final choice whether to send you or not. But he agreed that you’re more than capable of the job.”

“Thanks Coulson.” I could feel my cheeks heating up in mild embarrassment and pleasure. It was nice to know I was so highly thought of, not just within my own team but by the other STRIKE leaders too. A date caught my eye and I took another look at it. The exercise wasn’t until after Christmas. It was the second week in the new year.

Motherfucker. I’d walked right into that one. I looked up at Coulson was dread gnawing at me. The smile he was giving me mirrored my own innocent one from earlier. I was not going to like what he said next.

“In the meantime, SHIELD has some new pilots coming through and they need a supervisor for their last 25 hours of flying,” Coulson said calmly. “From 0900 until 1700 every day, that what you’ll be doing for the foreseeable future. Starting today actually, though you’ll have to make up for the hour wasted for the evacuation.”

I looked at the clock. It was 0955. I’d been here since 0600 this morning. It was going to be a very long day.

“Yes Sir,” I said meekly, getting out of the chair. I needed to get changed and down to the hanger. This wasn’t going to be fun. The only other person I trusted in the pilot seat was Clint. Having to deal with a bunch of new pilots was going to be stomach churning. It was the worst punishment Coulson could have come up for me. Still, I was going to get a cool reward soon enough for it. This year was flying past. I was already doing my usual excuses to avoid either Thanksgiving or Christmas even though I swear the 4th of July weekend was only a few weeks ago. It was crazy.

“Take a sick bag,” Coulson called out as I walked out the door. I swear he was laughing his ass off as soon as the door clicked shut behind me.

I wrinkled my nose, but smiled anyway as I walked to the elevator. It could have been worse punishment. At least I wasn’t stuck teaching a class. Or hauled up before Fury. The punishment was more than fair for the chaos I caused this morning.

Well, that was what I was going to keep telling myself every time I was going to be sick from someone’s shitty flying.

I got back to the now fairly deserted locker room and got changed into a flight suit. I hadn’t done any rostered flying for ages, so it felt a little weird to be doing it. During the long walk to the hanger, I sent Clint and Natasha a text letting them know I was stuck here all day. Neither of them were surprised, but both were sympathetic about my punishment.

I’d gotten about 3 steps into the hanger when a guy about my height came to stand beside me and handed me a clipboard.

“Excuse me Ma’am, but Agent Turner said I’d be with you today.”

Agent Turner was the head of training for the pilots. Or at least I think he was. The name was familiar enough anyway to make me nod. I glanced at the clipboard to see who I was dealing with and what Quinjet we’d be taking. The trainee pilots always got the older model ones, but they flew just as well as the new ones. My trainee pilot was Agent Blake Wagner. I inwardly sagged in relief at seeing his file. He was USAF and flew C-17’s before coming to SHIELD. At least I wasn’t going to die on my first flight out. Still, my stomach began to churn with nerves. I was such a control freak while flying. This might not end well at all.

‘Yes,” I said with a polite smile. “We’re over there. Tail number 0-35. Lead the way.”

Wagner was probably a few years older than me, but he looked just as nervous as I was feeling. It took about 10 seconds before he broke the silence.

“I have to say Ma’am, I’m really honoured to have you as my co-pilot today,” Wagner said, looking excited and embarrassed all at once. “I hope I don’t disappoint you.”

“Considering you flew C-17’s for 5 years, I’m sure you wont.” My words were to reassure myself as much as Wagner. He really shouldn’t be that bad. “Though is it an honour because I shot at an alien robot, or because I flew F-22s?”

“Both.” Wagner gave me a shy smile. “Though it is more the F-22’s than the alien robot.”

That made me smile, a little bit more genuine this time.

“I got to fly the prototype F-35 a few months back as well,’ I said, feeling a little smug to have an admirer of my pilot skills. It was a change from all the crap that followed me since New Mexico. “That was a lot of fun.”

That was enough for Wagner to start firing questions at me. He kept me so busy with answering his questions I barely had time to get nervous while we were in the air. Like I thought, he was a competent pilot and really didn’t need any extra supervision. It was a very gentle introduction to my life for the foreseeable future. I had to write my notes on the pilot after their session and I was more than happy to give Wagner a glowing report. He was a good pilot and there was no reason he shouldn’t be flying by himself. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to give me opinion, but they were getting it anyway. I handed the clipboard back to him with a smile and thanked him for not killing us. That got me an excited smile that I’m sure wouldn’t be wiped off his face for the next week.

I managed to duck to the toilet and my next trainee was waiting for me in the same spot near entrance of the hanger. This pilot barely looked old enough to be shaving. I inwardly held in a sigh as he came straight to me and handed me his clipboard. This was going to be a long day.

Thats how the rest of the week and the next week was spent. I was bored out of my mind, spending most days green from nausea. I’d even made a rule that if I threw up, the trainee pilot had to buy me a bottle of alcohol. So far I’d gotten 3 bottles of scotch. Most of them weren’t bad, but there were some who I had no idea how they managed to make it this far in their training. I don’t think I’d ever been so bored in my life. The only bright spot was that Clint had to do one of these flights before he was signed off to fly by himself. His glee at finally becoming a qualified pilot was nearly worth all the other boredom.

Nearly.

Friday morning I had a psych appointment with Andrew. I was tired, cranky and therefore distracted in training. Natasha took pity on me, but I was still late and limping by the time I got to his office. I knocked on the door and breezed in rushing out my apology.

“Sorry I’m….” I started before trailing off when I saw it wasn’t Andrew in the office. Instead it was a middle aged balding man who looked like he hadn’t seen the inside of a gym for the last 20 years. “Am I in the wrong office?”

“Agent Lyngley is it?” The mystery man smiled moving towards me with his hand outstretched. “Andrew couldn’t make it in today. I’m Dr Burke.”

I numbly took his hand, wincing a little at his limp grip. This never happened. If Andrew couldn’t make it he always rescheduled. He never gave us over to anyone else. I knew there were whispers around of him getting a divorce, but I hadn’t paid much attention to them. I guess I should have.

“Please, have a seat,” Dr Burke said, motioning towards the chair across from him. That was normally Andrew’s chair. Dr Burke sat down in the chair I always used. I awkward sank into the leather seat, feeling it squeak under my still sweaty skin. I really should have changed out of these shorts.

“I know this is a bit unexpected so you’ll have to excuse me for probably going over what you and Andrew have spoken about many times,” Dr Burke shot me an almost nervous smile. Still he looked confident enough as he settled down in the chair I usually sat in with his notebook in hand. “I suppose I should start with, how are you feeling today?”

“Fine.” I don’t know what it was, but my guard was instantly up about this whole situation. It felt wrong that Coulson didn’t give me a heads up. SHIELD were very pedantic about how handled our mental and physical problems. I always saw Max if I had to go to medical. No one else. It was the same with Andrew. He was always an email away even if I didn’t have an appointment with him and I needed to talk to something.

“Just fine?” Dr Burke pursed his lips, his eyes dropped down to his notebook for a few seconds. “I thought you’d be at least enjoying your time as a flight instructor.”

That seemed like he was baiting me. If I had a rant about how much I hated it, I was sure I’d be stuck doing it for the rest of my life. Instead I wrinkled my nose and shrugged.

“It’s boring, like most punishment is meant to be,” I said, keeping a neutral tone. “SHIELD really needs to look into their flying school a bit better.”

Dr Burke chuckled, scribbling something down on his notepad. I wondered if it was something about me being uncooperative.

“How is your personal life? Andrew made some notes here about you seeing someone new after your boyfriend died.”

I closed my eyes and forced myself to breath normally for a few seconds. Of course he was going straight down that path 5 seconds into our conversation. Andrew was brilliant when it came to anything to do with Riley. He’d come at the problem sideways and he’d chip away it in tiny little chunks. I’d barely even notice we were talking about it until the end. When Greg first came into our discussion, Andrew didn’t treat our friendship any differently than he would Clint and I. Obviously Dr Burke was reading between the lines.

“Greg is a friend,” I said through slightly gritted teeth. “Just because he has a cock doesn’t mean I treat him any differently than I would Barton or any other guy I associate with.”

“Of course,” Dr Burke at least had the grace to look mildly embarrassed as his assumption. “My apologies. I just thought going into the holiday season, you’d be looking to seek some comfort without Riley. After all, its now been a year since your first fire fight in SHIELD which is why you had to have this appointment today. Times like this can be hard.”

Fuck me, had it really been a year since that night in the canyon in Afghanistan? That would probably why I was getting some weird ass dreams over the last week. It was all a blurred mess, but I’d wake up with my heart pounding and covered in sweat with no idea what I’d just been dreaming about. At least it wasn’t hard to fall back asleep afterwards.

“Besides, moving on means you really need to start speaking about Riley,” Dr Burke kept pushing, despite my silence. “Do you talk to Greg about Riley?”

“No.” My answer was short and clipped. This was not going well at all.

“It can be a good outlet,” Dr Burke said gently, probably in what he considered a soothing tone. It only made the hairs on my neck stand up. “How about you think that I’m Greg and tell me something about Riley?”

“Riley was a unicorn among men.” The words spewed out before I could stop them. “He enjoyed going down on me for hours and never asked for me to return the favour.”

Dr Burke went 7 different shades of red and had to clear his throat three times before he spoke.

“That’s not what I really had in mind.”

“I’m STRIKE, we talk about sex, sport or blowing shit up. There’s not really any middle ground,” I said with no apology in my voice. Truth was, casual comments about Riley were usually things like that, between Natasha, Clint and Jared anyway. I did it to annoy Jared mostly.

“If your relationship was based on those 3 things then I would have worried about it being a sustainable relationship,” Dr Burke said, his tone back to being condescending. I don’t think he was doing it on purpose. But it immediately had my guard back up. “You’ve said it yourself you relationship with your family isn't that strong. Andrew made quite a few notes about it. So this makes me wonder how you’ll manage these holidays.”

Oh fuck me. We were back to that again. I’d been actively avoiding thinking about the holiday season. Mostly because I was doing my usual trick of dodging anything family related. At least this year I had an excuse to stay in DC. Mom would get her way eventually though. I’d have to go to either Thanksgivings or Christmas. I couldn’t miss both.

“After all, your team can’t really be considered family since you’ve only known them a year. So this brings me back to wondering how you’re going to cope?”

I couldn’t find an answer to what Dr Burke was saying. It almost came out like an insult that I needed a man in my life to hold myself together. I wouldn’t even touch on him saying Natasha and Clint weren’t family. It was the stupidest thing I’d ever heard in my life. I was so shocked he had the balls to say it, I couldn’t get any words to form. I stared at him while he proceeded to give me a lecture about the holiday season always being the hardest for single people. Especially those who had lost their partner. There wasn’t even any coping techniques thrown in there. It was like he was telling me I was going to be completely useless unless I had someone for these holidays. Preferably a man because I needed to replace Riley eventually and now was a good start. Well, those weren’t his exact words but it sure as hell felt like that was what he was saying. My answers become non verbal or in monosyllables as the session progressed. How could someone get me so wrong? It got worse as he went on, it was like he was oblivious to my discomfort. As soon as the hour ticked over, I fled from the room without a goodbye.

I shoved back all the unwanted and uncomfortable feelings as I ran to the locker room to have a shower and get changed. I was still 10 minutes late getting to the hanger, getting a disapproving stare and lecture from Agent Turner for my tardiness.

It took my first pilot 4 goes to take off successfully. It was the roughest ride I’d had in a long time and I was sure I would have thrown up if I had time for breakfast this morning. I was feeling very green and strained and the morning had barely started. It unfortunately didn’t get much better from there. I swear Agent Turner had given me all the shitty pilots on purpose today for being late. One of them was so nervous in front of me, he didn’t even make it off the launchpad. The only luck for me, being Friday meant we had a slightly early finish. 1600 instead of 1700. At least my last pilot for the day wasn’t too bad. She had been fairly competent, it was only nerves that made her do some silly mistakes that were easily corrected.

I was more than ready to go home and have a beer. But as soon as I was out of the Quinjet, a text message from Coulson came through.

_My office as soon as you’re finished please._

I sighed looking at my phone screen reading over the message a few times. This was probably about my psych session this morning and me not being cooperative. I dragged my tired ass up to Coulson’s office, my feet feeling heavier with every step I took. My legs were cramped and my back was aching from the rough flights in the Quinjet. Coulson wasn’t in his office when I got there, so I slumped in the chair and put my head on the desk instead. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the peace and quiet of Coulson’s office while I could. It wouldn’t last long.

As soon as that thought rattled in my head, the door opened. I didn’t bother looking up until something heavy was dropped next to my head. I jumped in surprise, bolting upright to look at Coulson. He picked up the first file and started reading it.

“This flight was interesting, as in oh god, oh god we’re all going to die, interesting,” Coulson looked at me with a stern expression. “Though I can’t fault you for the Serenity reference, why is it on an official report?”

Fuck, did I really write that? I remember thinking it this morning with one of the worse pilots. But in all honesty I don’t think I actually wrote it down. My mind had been all over the place though. I was angry, then upset every time my thoughts drifted back to my psych session. Dr Burke had singlehandedly made me feel like the most useless person in STRIKE. But all that could be fixed if I had a relationship. It felt like he was trying to drive a wedge between me and my family, blood and otherwise.

“And this one.” Coulson picked up the next file, flipping it around to face me. “Care to explain it?”

My drawing skills were pretty bad. But I thought it was clear enough. Obviously not.

“It's a plane crashed into the ground with stick figures on fire,” I said in a small voice. That one I remembered doing because I had no words to describe how bad the pilot was.

“While creative, it’s not helpful at all.” Coulson closed the file and dropped it with a slap on the top of the other ones.

“I’m sorry Coulson, I’ll take them home and redo them,” I said meekly, feeling very defeated. Today was not going well at all. “I was having a bad day.”

“I noticed,” Coulson said dryly, crossing his arms as he stared me down. “Your reports from the last week and a half were excellent. Except for your shitty handwriting. So good in fact, we have people going over your suggestions to improve SHIELD’s flight training. Todays I could only show to Hill, who thankfully found them funny, but that’s probably because she draws things like poop with knives in them under personality traits in interviews.”

That made my lips quirk a little bit, but I couldn’t bring myself to smile. I’d just given myself a few hours of work to do over the weekend. I was hoping today would be the last of my punishment. We had an entire week at the range planned for next week. I highly doubted I’d see the outside world for a bit longer.

“What’s up?” Coulson’s face softened nearly instantly.

“I don’t like our new psychologist.” There was no point lying. Coulson would find out eventually. Dr Burke really was an ass and I’d rather spend 6 months out of the field than have to see him again. Instead of a lecture, Coulson gave me a confused look. “Dr Burke. I had a session with him this morning instead of Andrew.”

“Umm, no.” Coulson’s face went from confused to angry in half a second. “Dr Burke was given very specific instructions to reschedule you until Andrew got back. Did Andrew not send you an email?”  
I shook my head, feeling very defeated. This morning’s mess could have been avoided if it wasn’t for someone’s ego. What he hoped to accomplish I will never know.

“Fuck, Kari I’m so sorry.” Coulson genuinely looked it too. “Andrew had his first court date for his divorce today and he couldn’t reschedule it. Dr Burke was never meant to talk to you. What happened?”

Feeling miserable, I replayed the mostly one sided conversation with Coulson. Halfway through my explanation, Coulson got up and got me a coffee and donut. The sugar and caffeine were a much needed hit after a shitty day. Especially when I started to feel a little teary by the end of it. By the time I was finished my story, Coulson looked ready to kill someone.

“I know it’s absolutely no consolation now,” Coulson said, his voice was a lot calmer than his face. “But he couldn’t be more wrong about you Kari. Despite what everyone thought, you picked yourself off the ground, dusted your ass off and kept going. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you aren’t doing a good enough job from moving on from Riley. I’ll make sure this doesn’t happen again. Do you need a hug?”

The last part of Coulson’s sentence made me chuckle. It was weak and strained but it was something. Coulson really didn’t give out hugs. Then again, I don’t think Natasha ever came to Coulson with tears. The offer was appreciated though. His words gave me a small sliver of encouragement again. There were days I still doubted myself, but I’d never had anyone say I couldn't do this. Not to my face any way.

“No, I think I’ll just go home. I have some beer and a pint of ice cream waiting for me,” I said wearily. I stood up and reached for the files on Coulson’s desk.

“You can leave them for the weekend if you want,” Coulson said gently. “Do them first thing Monday before you go to the range.”

That last word was magic to my ears. At least I knew what I was doing next week now. My punishment was over.

“No, I’ll get them done now while it’s still fresh in my mind.” I really didn’t want to do them. Leaving them was a very tempting offer right now. But I was so bad with names I’m sure I wouldn’t remember a damn thing if I left them until Monday morning.

“Sure.” Coulson gave me a smile. “Have a quiet weekend and congrats on your punishment being done. You did it with a lot more grace and enthusiasm than I expected. Your reports, except for these ones, were very well done. You may have changed SHIELD’s flying school completely.”

“Oh I hope so, considering how bad some of those kids were,” I groaned, but felt myself perk up at the praise. Not that they were kids. Most of them were my age or older. I was just feeling about 40 years old right now instead of 24. “Thanks for the coffee and donut.”

‘You’re welcome.” Coulson came over and gave me a pat on the shoulder. “Don’t worry about Dr Idiot, you have us for the holiday season anyway. It’s too crazy to get lonely.”

Coulson wasn’t wrong there. Between Alexi being older this year and Clint’s Christmas obsession, I was going to be too busy to be lonely over the holidays. Clint was already making plans about what to cook for Thanksgiving, beyond the obvious choices. It was easy to get caught up in it all.

“Thanks Coulson.” This time my smile was more genuine as I picked up the files. “Have a good weekend.”

“Call me if you need me.” Coulson’s firm tone left no room for argument. I nodded in agreement which seemed to satisfy him. “Behave yourself.”

“Never do, why would I start now?”

My cheeky answer got me a laugh from Coulson as he shooed me out of the office. On my way back down to the locker room, my phone vibrated in my pocket. Greg had been quiet this week as he was on all night shifts. But Gareth more than made up for it, keeping a constant stream of chatter with me while I complained bitterly about bad pilots. So it was a little bit of a surprise to see Greg’s name on the screen. There was no message, just a photo of his arm with some nasty road rash.

I opened the text, wincing in sympathy. As I went into the message, another text came through.

_So, I’m sitting at home nursing a wounded pride and arm. Whats your plans for tonight?_

Poor guy. Road rash was never fun. I had an impressive scar on my leg to prove that. Luckily for me, it had faded to white and you could barely notice it. At least it was one less patch of skin I had to shave.

_I had a crappy day, so I’m going to home and having beer and ice cream._

I knew it was Greg fishing to see if I wanted to do anything tonight. But I was too strung out and tired to be bothered doing anything besides sitting on the couch. While waiting for Greg to reply, I flicked to a message Jared had sent me earlier.

_Nat and I are going out tonight. Wanna come with?_

At least Jared asked. He didn’t demand I come out. I sent off a gentle no and a bit of a lie about being tired. They would both understand that. Jared knew I’d been having some very early bedtimes and even Natasha had commented I was looking tired over the last week.

I was changed and on my motorbike a lot quicker than I thought my weary body was capable of. Greg and Jared still hadn’t replied, so I didn’t bother waiting for one. I hit peak hour at it worst, so it was a slow ride home. I parked my bike, waved politely to one of the neighbours who was on his way out and dragged myself to the elevator. The ride up a few floors seemed to take forever, as did the walk to the front door. But once the front door swung open, I breathed in a sigh of relief. There was nothing like finally being home after a long and shitty day.

I dropped my bag on the couch and went straight to the fridge for a beer. It was one of Jared’s imported beers, but it tasted acceptable enough. Opening the freezer, my heart sank at the sight of what should have been there. I had a tub of chocolate chip cookie dough, but it was nowhere to be seen. I slammed the freezer door, swearing at Jared under my breath. He usually didn’t eat the ice cream I liked. He must have needed a sugar fix pretty desperately to eat that. I couldn’t be mad at him. We shared the grocery bill equally and didn’t specifically have our own food.

I put my feet up on the coffee table, sinking down into the couch and grabbed my phone out of my bag. Jared still hadn’t replied to my earlier text, so I sent him a slightly pitiful one .

_You owe me ice cream :(_

I sighed heavily and threw my phone back onto the coffee table, taking another long swig of beer. What a shitty day it’d been. At least it was over now and I could sit here and zone out to some stupid movie. I used my foot to move the TV remote within snatching distance and turned on the TV. It was Friday night so there had to be some half decent movie on one of the channels. For the first time today I got lucky. It was an 80’s movie called Willow. I loved that movie when I was younger so I sat back and let myself get lost in the terrible special effects but cute storyline. 20 minutes into the movie, someone knocked on the door.

“Its open,” I called out, too lazy and comfortable to move. There were only a handful of people who would knock on my door. My guess it was one of the Bravo boys trying to drag me out for a hockey game at JoJo’s. I think the Fliers and Sabres were playing, but I wasn’t that interested in either team. The door opened and I muted the tv, craning my hear around to see who it was, ready to tell them to go away.

Coming in the door was Greg with his hands full.

“Hi,” I said, jumping up and racing to the door to take something off his hands. Whatever he had in the paper bags smelt really good. I couldn’t help but smile. This was a nice surprise, even if I didn’t think I’d be good company tonight.

“Hi,” Greg smiled back. “We’ve both had shitty days so I figured we can drown our sorrows in grease. I brought some of those heart attack inducing burgers from the shop near work.”

No wonder the bag smelt so good. The hole in a wall type burger place did the most incredible triple beef, bacon and cheese burgers. Greg was mildly horrified and a little impressed when I ate one a few weeks ago, along with a serving of fries and large milkshake all to myself.

“Thank you.” I couldn’t think of anything else to say. It was very sweet of him to come around with burgers. If he’d asked, I probably would have said no and ate ramen tonight.

“But this.” Greg looked a little mischievous and very proud of himself as he held up another unmarked bag. “Is a surprise for dessert, but it needs to go in the freezer. So no peeking.”

My smile grew wider at Greg’s obvious glee. My bad mood from earlier seemed to be melting away at the very sweet thing he’d just done. He was a good friend.

“I won’t look,” I promised. “There’s beer in the fridge if you want one, It’s some weird imported beer, but it tastes good.”

“Thanks.”

Greg made himself busy in the kitchen while I got out burgers out. It was a little disgusting how dripping in grease they really were, but I was in the mood to pack away some junk food. Sitting on my ass for the last week and a half made me a little more conscious about what I was eating, so I’d been relatively healthy. Right now a burger dripping in fat would go a long way to improving my mood.

Greg sat down just as I was biting into my burger. It was still warm and the cheese and mayonnaise dripped out onto my fingers. But the taste was worth the mess I was making. I moaned in delight, closing my eyes as I slowly chewed. It seriously felt like the best thing I’d had all week.

“Do you and your burger need a few moments alone?” Greg teased as he settled down next to me.

“I don’t need a few, just one will be enough,” I laughed around my mouthful of burger. “You have no idea how good this is after a week of nothing but protein and greens.”

“You trying to bulk up again?” Greg asked before biting into his burger. He had the same as me and made a mess on his first bite.

“Not really, I figured sitting on my ass all day and eating pizza probably wasn’t going to make my body happy.” I took a smaller bite of my burger this time. One I could chew without having to work my jaw into overdrive. It only took a few seconds for me to swallow. “What happened to your arm?”

“I want to say a cool story to make me feel tough,” Greg said with a wry smile. “But I wasn’t paying attention and hit the kerb while riding my bike this morning. Came off and took some skin off. It gave me an excuse to call in sick tonight. How many pilots made you throw up today?”

Greg was still on his emergency rotation and hating most of his time there. Apparently emergency medicine was a calling and Greg definitely wasn’t hearing the calling of it. He only had a few more weeks to go and was counting down the days until he was done. Then he only had one more rotation to go and he was finished his second year internship. He was studying like crazy for his surgical exams so he could get a good mark and have the pick of places for his residency.

“None, thankfully. However I had a shitty psych appointment today and now have to redo all my reports.” I looked over to my backpack that was still on the table containing those reports. They definitely weren’t getting done tonight. “Apparently drawing stick figures on fire doesn’t count as an acceptable response.”

Greg had to clamp his hand over his mouth to muffle his laughter through his mouthful of burger. He face turned red before he managed to swallow, coughing a few times before he could speak.

“You didn’t, did you?” Greg asked after he got himself under control.

“I did,” I said with a small laugh. “Hang on, I’ll show you.”

I put my half finished burger down and wiped my hands on my flight suit. I reached over and dragged the bag across to me, pulling out the first few files on top. I flipped through them until I found my drawing, turning it around and proudly presenting it to Greg. The response was exactly what I needed. Greg laughed so hard, it took him a full minute to compose himself again.

“What did the poor pilot do to you to deserve such a harsh report,” Greg said around his laughter.

“He took 4 goes to try and take off.” I found myself laughing with Greg. It was a good feeling after a disastrous day. I threw the files beside the table so I wouldn’t have to look at them for the rest of the night. “This was what I thought was going to happen if we actually got in the air. If I’d eaten breakfast I would have thrown up for sure.”

Come to think of it, I don’t think I’d eaten all day besides the donut Coulson gave me. The burger was going down very well, along with my beer.

“You’ll never put on weight if you skip breakfast,” Greg said, it was a half tease and half doctor moment. I’d heard the same thing from Laura a few thousand times.

“I don’t even think my super metabolism can handle this burger without gaining at least a pound,” I said, smiling as I took another bite.

“Oh no, a whole pound,” Greg sassed me. “How will you ever manage gaining an entire pound?”

I reached over and lazily kicked his leg, mindful that I was still wearing boots. I should really get changed but I couldn’t be bothered. SHIELD’s flight suits were relatively comfortable, thought I did smell a little like sweaty nylon thanks to my gloves. No matter how many times you washed your hands, the smell would linger for days.

“Fuck you,” I laughed as my booted foot gently connected with his shin.

“Please don’t talk about sex. This week seems to be the week for people coming in with gross sex injuries.” Greg kicked me back, though there was no force behind his kick either. I’m sure I looked as tired as Greg currently did. Night shifts sucked, even if you were a night owl like Greg.

“I’m disgusted and far too curious for my own good now,” I said, perking up a little. I loved hearing Laura’s horror stories from work. Greg never shared any, so this should be good.

“Not while we’re eating.” Greg looked like he was regretting his choice of words. I gave him a pitiful look, sticking out my lower lip in a pout. It worked far too well. It only took another few seconds for Greg to give in. “Fine. One story. Do you have any other random drawings in your reports?”

“No, but I did make a very appropriate quote from Serenity.” I smiled. It was funny now I looked back on it. It’s a shame I didn’t feel like smiling at the time.

“I love that movie.” Greg looked over at me with a grin. “Any chance you’ve got it? Cuz now I really want to watch it.”

“Please, I think we have ever sci-fi movie ever made in this apartment,” I said proudly, putting my burger down. “Of course we have Serenity. We even have FireFly series on DVD somewhere.”

Willow was long forgotten as I quickly found Serenity and put the DVD on. I kicked off my boots and got comfortable, sinking down into the couch and putting my feet up on the coffee table.

“Nice socks,” Greg said smartly, shifting around as he got comfortable as well. Unlike me, he had the good manners to take his shoes off at the door. Jared hated it when I wore my work boots around the apartment.

“I think they are,” I said, grinning over at him. I was wearing very mismatched socks. One was a rainbow coloured striped sock and the other had Little Miss characters all over it. The Little Miss socks had been a present from Natasha, but I’d lost one of them. “One of them matches my underwear.”

“Let me guess, Little Miss Naughty?” Greg teasing was on a roll tonight. “And Little Miss Naughty has a pair of handcuffs and a whip.”

“Of course.” That made me laugh. I had that exact same pair of underwear I brought as a joke. I wasn’t currently wearing them though. “How did you guess?”

“One of my nieces loves those books and wandered in the more adult section of a store one day,” Greg explained, his smile growing wider throughout the story. “She came back with a thong like that and when my sister said no, she was very upset about it.”

“I remember doing something like that when I was in my teenager years, but it was Captain America underwear,” I said, smiling back at the memory that might have scarred my Grams for life. “Except my poor Grams actually knew Captain America and gave me this massive lecture about how Steve Rogers would definitely not approve of my underwear choice. I think she was very close to pulling how the whole back in my day line, but she managed to refrain.”

“I never knew that about your Grams.” Greg’s attention was right on me, the movie seemingly forgotten for now. “If its any consolation, I had Captain America underwear when I was a teenager too. I may even have a pair of two still. What did your Grams do in World War 2?”

“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours,” I joked before turning serious. “She was part of the SSR, and then SHIELD when it was formed. She oversaw the selection of recruits for the Super Soldier program initially, then helped with the Howling Commandos missions. I have a very cool Grams.”

“Yes, you do.” Greg looked a little awed. “Wow, I never knew that. She never came to visit you in hospital, did she?”

“Nah, it’s getting harder for her to travel at her age and she finds emotional atmospheres quite overwhelming,” I explained. When Greg gave me a confused look, I added. “She’s a telepath. She can read minds.”

“I was trying to find a polite way to ask,” Greg said with a small chuckle. The look of awe never left his face though. “Though I’m guessing you get asked that a lot.”

“And I usually respond with hold my beer,” I chuckled, taking another swig of my own beer. It was my last mouthful. “Speaking of, do you want another one?”

“Here, I’ll get them.” Greg jumped up before I could protest. He came back a minute later with 2 beers, handing one to me before plonking down on the couch. The movie was into the full swing of things and it was easy to get lost in it very quickly while I finished my burger and fries.

I stretched my legs out, trying to relieve some of the stiffness and cramping in them. I hated doing lots of little short flights. At least during long haul trips I could get up and walk around when auto pilot was on.

“Magnesium helps,” Greg said after a few minutes of me fidgeting. “As does massaging them.”

“Is that an offer?” I asked, more to be a smart ass than anything else.

“I give terrible massages,” Greg said with a laugh, but grabbed the leg of my flight suit and gave it a tug. “I do know how to release pressure points though. It won’t feel great, but it does help. One of the physiotherapists at work showed me how to do it when I was getting bad cramps.”

It wasn’t a massage but I wasn’t going to knock back anything to would make me calves feel better. They were so tight at the moment.

“Release away.”

Greg pushed up the baggy material and pulled my lower legs across his lap, His fingers dug around in my tight calf muscles, making me squirm. He was right though, it hurt but the relief that came with it was very welcome.

“Your legs are very nice for anatomy study,” Greg said with a small laugh as he moved onto my other leg. “Can I have them when you die?”

“Only if you impress me with your anatomy knowledge,” I laughed with him. Max had said the same thing to me once. Doctor’s could be so weird at times. “Do you want Hawk’s arms as well?”

“Sure, he has amazing arms.” Greg looked up at me with a carefree grin. “Ready to be impressed?”

“I’m waiting.”

“Popliteus, Soleus, Fibularis longus, Tibialis posterior, Flexor digitorum, Flexor hallucis and Fibularis brevis.” Greg moved over the side of my calf quickly, rattling off the names with ease.

“Smart ass.” I laughed again. “How do I know you didn’t make that up?”

“I will Google to prove myself.” Greg looked very proud of himself. To prove his point, he got out his phone and with a few taps was showing me a picture of all the calf muscles. I could barely remember the names so I wasn’t going to argue.

“Fine, you win.” I conceded defeat. I couldn’t even remember which bones my radius and ulna were, so I wasn’t going to argue about anything anatomical with someone who was going to be a surgeon.

We fell into a comfortable silence, going back to the movie. Greg fiddled with my other leg, making me jerk in surprise a few times. But otherwise we were quiet. He didn’t seem to mind my legs stretched out across his lap, so I kept them there. It was actually comfortable having them stretched out that way. The only time I moved was to get up and get another beer for both of us.

When the movie was finished, I flicked the TV back on and found Independence Day was on. I wasn’t sure whether I should groan, or enjoy myself. I had a bit of a love hate relationship with that movie. Greg tapped my legs before I could make a snide comment about it.

“This is where I get dessert and you can rant about how bad movies portray fighter pilots when you’ve had some sugar,” Greg chuckled as he stood up. “No peeking. It’s a surprise.”

That instantly made me want to turn around and see what Greg was doing in the kitchen. I managed to refrain and keep my eyes facing forward.

“Thanks for coming over and bringing food.” I almost felt a little shy about saying that. This was one of those times were I wondered if I was missing something between Greg and I. But he never pushed. Tonight was probably the most he’d ever touched me. Despite my turmoil from earlier, it was very nice to be touched again.

“Thanks for not kicking me out on my ass,” Greg said, sounding a bit unsure of himself. “I wasn’t sure if you’d want company, but I figured if there was a gun to my face I could leave the food at the door.”

“I would never do that.” It made me laugh again. Laughing felt very good after such a shitty day. “Especially when you bring my new favourite burger and some sort of secret dessert.”

“It could be terrible,” Greg warned me. “I’ve never made it before.”

It was taking a lot more self control than it should not to peek at what Greg was doing. I could hear him shuffling around in the kitchen. But nothing was giving me a clue to what I was getting. It could be ice cream because it had to go in the freezer. But Greg liked to experiment with his desserts. I could be getting anything.

“Close your eyes,” Greg instructed.

I chuckled under my breath, but did as I was told. It only took a few seconds before something cold was put in my hands. I cracked open one eye and peered down at what I’d been given. It was an ice cream sundae.

“I brought an ice cream maker,” Greg explained as he settled down next to me, balancing his own bowl. “I had an idea and threw it all together, but I didn’t taste it before I brought it over. So if its terrible, I’ll go find some Ben and Jerrys.”

“It looks amazing,” I sad honestly. “Besides, you brought dinner. It’d be my turn to get something for dessert.”

Whatever the ice cream was, Greg had covered it in chocolate sauce and whipped cream. He’d even put a cherry on top. I took my spoon and scooped up just the ice cream. It tasted as good as it looked. It was peanut butter and there was some brownie piece though the ice cream.

“Oh my god.” I couldn’t stop the moan of delight at the taste of it. Good didn’t come close to how it tasted. “I think I just orgasmed.”

“Again, do you and your food need a few moments alone?” Greg teased me with a laugh. I didn’t miss the slight red colour in his cheeks. Maybe it was the few beers we’d had, but I don’t think I’d ever gotten Greg to blush before. A gleeful little part of my mind lit up at seeing his red cheeks. I could have a bit of fun with this.

“Only if I had someone to lick the ice cream off me,” I said, keeping my tone casual.

“Thanks, you had to go there didn’t you?” Greg went a little redder than before. “I don’t know what’s worse. Having you sitting there enjoying your ice cream way too much or the idiot who decided to put a light bulb up his ass and then wondered why he was bleeding so much when he came into the ER.”

I nearly choked on my mouthful of ice cream at Greg’s story. I had to cover my mouth so I didn’t spew ice cream everywhere while I laughed.

“You aren’t serious, are you?” I asked when I’d calmed down enough to speak. “Did someone really come in with that? It sounds like an urban myth.”

“Sadly, I am deadly serious.” Greg shook his head. “This week seemed to be people enjoying their vegetables in a way they aren’t meant to be enjoyed. Or putting things in holes were they really aren’t meant to go.”

“I’m never eating anything dick shaped again.” I shuddered, scooping up another spoon full of ice cream. “Just leave me with the rest of this and I’ll be happy forever.”

“Yeah, you’re sounding very happy over there,” Greg teased, his face going back to a normal colour. “I thought of you while I was making it.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, Greg looked like he wanted to take them back immediately. I quirked up an eyebrow at him, a smile tugging on my lips as I watched him fumble for an excuse.

“No matter what I’m say, I’m going to make that worse,” Greg groaned, reaching up to rub his face. He’d gone bright red again. “I’m going to eat my ice cream and be quiet. Lets laugh at the movie and Hollywoods lack of trigger discipline in movies.”

“Nice save.” I decided not to tease Greg for once in my life. We’d both had a few beers so no doubt that was contributing to his lack of filter. Besides, he could take my ice cream away from me and that’d be awful.

“I blame the handful of painkillers I took before I came over.” Greg shook his head. “Beer and codeine doesn’t mix.”

“Naughty, you should know better,” I playfully scolded him. He’d given me enough lectures about it.

“Didn’t you know Doctor’s make the worst patients? That’s behind SHIELD agents of course.” Greg reached over and nudged me with his foot playfully. “Especially STRIKE.”

“No arguments here about that.” I gently kicked him back. We were like a pair of teenagers playing footsies for a few seconds. “Hang on, I’ll finish my ice cream and then kick your ass.”

“There is no world where I have the illusion I might stand a chance against you.” Greg tried to pin my leg between his, but I managed to twist out of the way too quickly for him. “Doesn’t mean I won’t try though. Don’t spill your ice cream.”

“Don’t spill your dignity,” I shot back. It wasn’t my best comeback but it made Greg laugh. We both ate our ice cream sundaes, watching each other out of the corner of our eyes. I savoured mine, taking my time trying to lull Greg into a false sense of security. Plus the ice cream was way too good to gulp down and not appreciate.

“You have chocolate on your face,” Greg broke the silence when I was down to my last spoonful.

“Where?” I reached up to wipe my face. My hand came away clean so I shot Greg a disbelieving look.

“Right here.” Greg reached over and wiped his chocolate covered thumb over my face. It left a sticky streak along my cheek. My shriek was not dignified at all as I clambered to get away from him. I dipped my fingers in my bowl, abandoning my last mouthful in favour of revenge.

Greg was far too slow to get away from me, in one swift movement I was in his lap pinning him down with my legs. He was laughing far too hard to try and get away. I wiped my own sticky fingers across his face, leaving a chocolate smear over his lips, chin and halfway up his cheek.

“That was mean.” I tried to scold him but I was laughing far too hard to be taken seriously. It felt really good to laugh. The memory of the shitty day and what happened in it was long gone. Greg reached up and wiped his face, laughing as well. I’d done a good job at making a mess of his face. There was chocolate smeared everywhere.

“Yeah but you should have seen the look on your face,” Greg said through his laughter. “Here, let me get that.”

I wrinkled my nose and went to squirm out of Greg’s reach as soon as he licked his finger and went for my face. I was too slow though, he managed to wrap an arm around my waist and pinned me while he rubbed his spit covered finger across my face. It made me break into a fresh fit of giggles.

“Your turn.” I got my arm out of his grip and licked my thumb. As I went to wipe my thumb across his face, he playfully caught it between his teeth. I looked at him, both eyebrows raised and tried not to laugh again. He looked so damn proud of himself. I’d never seen him this carefree before. I think this was the most I’d ever seen him drink and the beer was definitely helping my good mood.

“Are you gonna let go?” I asked, trying to pull my thumb out of his mouth. Greg shook his head and ran his tongue along my thumb. I wrinkled my nose again and tugged a little harder, but he held firm. I felt a nervous flutter as I looked down at his face. This had gone a bit beyond playful jostling. I was suddenly very aware of how close I was pushed up against Greg’s body. All of a sudden, it was like a light switch flipped. I could almost feel the tension crackling in the air between us.

Greg’s lips closed around my thumb, as he gently sucked the last of the chocolate off. It was like a bolt of electricity hit me. My body was responding in a way I didn’t think would happen again for a very long time. My heart was pounding as I watched his every movement. Greg’s eyes never left mine as he very slowly licked the last of the chocolate off before letting go of my thumb.

“Can’t waste good Hershey’s,” Greg said, his voice soft and hesitant.

I could see his adams apple bob up and down a few times as he swallowed hard. The few beers had given me some much needed courage as I ground my hips against his lap. This was it. I wouldn’t get any opportunity like this again. Besides, my body was screaming at me to make a move. For once my brain wasn’t talking my body down about the idea. Greg was hard against me, I could feel the erection straining against his jeans. Opportunities didn’t get any more perfect than this.

“It’s all over your lips,” I murmured. I didn’t hesitate. I leant forward and kissed him.

He made a noise of surprise against my lips as I kissed him and didn’t respond for a second. I was about to pull back, thinking I’d really misread this situation. But his hand came up and tangled in my hair. Greg pulled me in closer, kissing me back. It got demanding very quickly. My tongue danced over his and I couldn’t stop the breathless moan as his hands came down to grab my ass. It felt so good to have someone kiss me again.

I was so caught in our make out, I didn’t notice Greg shifting us until I was flat on my back, looking up at him. I grinned and pulled him back down for another kiss. I could feel him grinning again my lips as he kissed me again, a little more gently this time. I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him in closer. Greg broke the kiss, but instead of pulling back, started trailing kisses down my neck. He hit my sensitive spot, right on my pulse point. There was no holding back the sound that was halfway between a groan and moan. Greg got the idea right away, his teeth sinking into my sensitive skin and he sucked hard enough to leave a bruise. I writhed underneath him, feeling the sensation shooting straight through my body and right to my groin. I latched my legs around him harder, rubbing up against him trying to get some good friction between us. It felt amazing.

Greg pulled back, shifting so he could reach the zipper of my flight suit. I wasted no time in helping him get it unzipped and wriggled out of it. It was awkward enough doing it by myself, let alone having someone on top of me. Once I was free of it, Greg hovered above me with his eyes openly roving over my body. Even in my very unattractive sports bra and plain underwear, the look he was giving me made me feel like I was the sexiest woman he’d ever seen.

He lent down and kissed me again, his hand coming up he cupped my breast through the bra. His thumb brushed against my nipples, rubbing a firm circle around it. My mind short circuited for a long few moments at the feel of it. Through the fog of desire, I could barely get my mind to work. But my hands knew what to do. Greg was grinding up against me and there was far too many layers between him and me. My hands went for the belt of his jeans and I somehow managed to get my fumbling fingers to work enough to unbuckle it. Greg stilled against my lips and as my hand found the button on his jeans, he pulled back.

“Fuck.” The breathless curse left his mouth as Greg shot backwards so quickly, he nearly went over the edge of the couch. “Fuck, Kari. I’m so sorry.”

His words came out in a breathless jumble. He ran his hands through his now messy hair, swearing under his breath as his chest heaved. He put as much distance as humanely possibly between the two of us on the couch.

“Greg?” I suddenly felt very vulnerable lying on the couch in nothing but my underwear. The mood from before was gone in an instant. What the hell had I done wrong?

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” Greg said, swallowing hard. He was actively avoiding my gaze. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

“I kissed you first.” I didn’t know what else to say. The desire from before was now being replaced by a pit of dread in my stomach. Greg got up so fast, he nearly tangled his feet up.

“We can’t do this.” Greg still wouldn’t look at me. “Look, I’ll ring you in the morning when we’re both sober. But this can’t happen. I’m sorry.”

I was sober now. The beer had barely affected me, beyond giving me a slight buzz and very relaxed evening. Well, until about 45 seconds ago it had been relaxing. I had no words as Greg got up and very abruptly left. He didn’t even pause at the door to pull his shoes on. He grabbed them and he was gone.

I sat on the couch staring at the door for what seemed like an eternity. Tears welled in my eyes as the rejection hit me like a slap in the face.

What the hell had I done wrong? By the way he’d kissed me the feeling was being returned, at least until I touched his pants. Had I pushed too far? God I was such an idiot. This is why I was never going to have someone else again. I couldn’t even get making out with a guy at the right moment. My throat closed and I sat back, hugging a cushion feeling completely miserable. The shitty day just got shittier.

Before the tears could spill over, my phone vibrated on the coffee table. It’d been silent all night. The sudden noise in the quiet apartment made me jump. I was going to ignore it, but I saw Coulson’s name on the screen. I swallowed back the lump in my throat, picking up the phone and scanned the message.

_There’s a mission for escorting a scientist out of Iran and back to Odessa in the Ukraine. Natasha is going as well. Flight leaves at midnight tonight. Do you want to tag along?_

I didn’t hesitate in my answer. This was almost an answer to my prayers. Anything was better than sitting at home crying over my rejection. My fingers flew over the screen the fastest I’d ever sent a text message.

_Count me in._


	61. Chapter 61

I had done the impossible. I’d stunned Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow herself, into silence as I powered the Quinjet up. She’d been telling me about the new steak house Jared had gone to and when I turned my neck a little, she got sight of the bite mark on my neck from Greg. It’d been silent for the last 2 minutes as Natasha stared at me. I’m not even sure she blinked the entire time. 

 

“There’s a bite mark on your neck.” Natasha finally managed to get out as I eased the Quinjet out of the hanger.

 

“Yes, I know.” I tried to keep my voice neutral. The rejection hurt. A lot more than I’d ever thought it would. A slap across the face might have been better than my feelings being so fucking broken. It wasn’t just the complete rejection of a guy not wanting to sleep with me. It was also the mixed signal that I’d gotten so damn wrong. I was bad at reading people, but I didn’t think I was that bad.

 

“Hang on.” Natasha frowned as she sat up straighter in the co-pilot chair. “Rewind and tell me about your part of the night where you had someone over.”

 

“Greg came over with burgers.” There was no point lying to Natasha. She’d pester me for the next 14 hours until I gave in. “And ice cream. We were fooling around and I obviously misread the situation wrong, because he walked out on me.”

 

As much as I tried, I couldn’t stop the bitter tone creeping into my voice. 

 

“Who kissed who?” Natasha asked, sounding like she was picking her words and tone very carefully. I snuck a look at her face out of the corner of my eye. As much as she was trying to hide it, she looked a little gleeful. But there was also the look of she’d get out of this Quinjet and murder Greg if he’d done the wrong thing.

 

“I kissed him.” I flicked a few switches harder than I needed to as I got cleared to take off. It was quiet, as it should be at midnight. I was the only SHIELD aircraft in the hanger. 

 

“And he obviously kissed back.” Natasha furrowed her brow. She reached over and moved my collar to get a good look at the bite mark. Greg had put some force behind it. It’d be purple in a few more hours. My body betrayed my shitty mood as I remembered how damn good it felt. “What happened after that?”

 

“I went for his pants and he freaked out,” I said, pushing down the lump in my throat that wanted to appear. “Told me he ring in the morning when we were both sober.”

 

“You’re not drunk,” Natasha pointed out.

 

The beers were light beers. I had to check when Coulson asked me if I was good to fly otherwise we would have had to get a commercial flight out.  SHIELD were a bit lax on their pilots and alcohol in their system. As long as they were below the legal driving limit, SHIELD was fine with them flying. We were flying to a safe house in Iran and taking supplies with us before we picked the scientist up. Me being able to fly made life a lot easier for everyone involved in this little operation.

 

“Neither was he, it was just an excuse to leave.” I said miserably, my shoulders sagging in defeat. “I was so ready to get some action. My brain shut up long enough for me to enjoy it while it was happening. For once in my life I didn’t feel like the fuck up I usually am.”

 

“If you were a fuck up, we wouldn’t be friends,” Natasha’s carefully schooled face fell into a displeased scowl. “I will punch you. I don’t know about Greg. All the signs are there that he’s really attracted to you. It’s almost like he's hiding something, or doesn’t want it to go too far for whatever reason. I’m surprised it took this long for something to happen.”

 

I shot Natasha a disbelieving look.

 

“I’m serious.” Natasha’s face softened a little. “But he always hesitates. Like he's that damn unsure of himself. It’s not nerves, it’s something else but I have no idea what. Maybe it's a bad experience, maybe he’s just a bit of a pussy when it comes to having a fuck buddy.”

 

Natasha’s brutal honesty made my lips quirk up a little. 

 

“But starting something and then pulling away is a dick move,” Natasha said firmly. “So when we get home, you’re going to ring Gareth and go down to Hampton and fuck him on every available space of his new apartment. He’s not going to say no.”

 

It wasn’t the craziest idea Natasha had ever had. I’d been so busy this week I’d nearly forgotten about Gareth moving into his new place this weekend. She wasn’t wrong that Gareth wouldn’t say no. At least I knew where I stood with him. Gareth had even offered that exact thing, in a more roundabout way of saying it though. 

 

“It’s okay to want sex,” Natasha continued a little softer this time. “And you need someone who isn’t going to fuck with your head while you climb back on the horse.”

 

“Nice analogy there,” I said dryly.

 

“I thought so.” Natasha flashed me a quick grin but her expression quickly turned serious. “Greg obviously has some baggage. You don’t need that. Gareth had made it loud and clear you can go and use him for sex and there’s not going to be any complaints or complications.”

 

I made a noise of non commitment. Though I really needed to let Gareth know I was going to be going dark for a few days. I’d have my phone on me for emergencies, but beyond that it’d be off. I waited until we were at altitude before I fished my phone out of my pocket. I stared at my screen for a few seconds before deciding to do exactly what Natasha had said. Despite everything, I needed to get laid so badly at the moment. My body had finally got to the point where even my head was agreeing that some action needed to be had.

 

_Going dark for a few days. I hope the move goes well over the weekend. I’ll come down for the weekend when I get back to see it._

 

I turned my phone screen and showed Natasha what I’d just typed. She looked up from her own phone and nodded in approval after a few seconds. 

 

“It’s a big step you’re making, I’m proud of you.” Natasha put her phone up a few seconds later. 

 

“I’ll explode if I don’t get any action that isn’t my own hand or vibrator soon,” I said dryly. Natasha was right though. It was a huge step in my life. Despite everything that had happened, I did feel ready to make that step. I was probably doing everything out of order, but fuck it. At least I was doing something to help myself move on. 

 

I opened up my camera and motioned for Natasha to get in the frame. I’d been sending Alexi little video messages when I couldn’t make it over there. I was hoping sending one now might avert any meltdown Alexi might have about me going away for a week. I’d been a scarce visitor in the Evans household the last few weeks. At first it’d been avoiding Seb but then I got too busy to make it over there as much as I usually did. Evans made the comment that Alexi would watch my video messages before going to bed and kiss his phone. After that I made the effort to send her something every day.

 

“For Alexi,” I explained to Natasha. “I make her good night videos.”

 

“Spoilt little Munchkin,” Natasha said with a small chuckle, but moved into the camera frame anyway. “We better make it a long one for her.”

 

The video went for 3 minutes. I barely had enough cell service to send it by the time we were done.  I turned my phone off and threw it in my bag when it was done. It would stay off now until we get to our rendezvous point in Odessa.

 

“If nothing else, this mission should be a week away and not too much stress.” Natasha stretched out as I put my phone away. “It’ll be fun to do something besides train, eat, sleep, repeat that is our lives at the moment.”

 

It was a bit of an odd mission. We’d land at a secured SHIELD safe house in the middle of nowhere Iran. The scientist, Dr Malone, was terrified of flying so Natasha and I would drive him from Iran all the way to Odessa in the Ukraine. It was over 2000 miles and it would take us a few days. We’d be armed to the teeth, there was GPS tracking on the car but SHIELD wasn’t expecting too much trouble. We all had fake documents to get us across country borders. The route was fairly safe. We’d travel through Iran, hug the coastline up through Armenia, Georgia and then up into the Ukraine. Nice and simple. Whatever Dr Malone was working on was of great importance and we had orders to shoot to kill anyone who looked like threatening him. 

 

The flight was long and boring, like most long haul flights. I was thankful Coulson got approval for some stimulants otherwise it would have been a struggle. The half a one I had kept me awake the entire time. Coulson even had the foresight to stock the fridge for us. It was the only advantage of doing these type of flights. The Quinjets used for them had a bathroom and a small kitchenette tucked away in the side of them. It was only a fridge, microwave and coffee maker. But it made all the difference in being able to eat and pee in comfort after 14 hours in the Quinjet. Natasha dozed on and off while I flew. I alternated between reading a book I’d grabbed off the shelf at home. It was surprisingly good, despite being one of Jared’s books. When I got bored of reading, I was re-doing my reports from yesterday.  It kept my mind busy enough that it didn’t wander. I didn’t need to be going into a mission, even one as simple as this, with my head all over the place from what Greg did. I could be upset when I got home and not before then.

 

The safe house was 3 hours west of Tehran. Stepping out into the mid morning sun was very disorientating. Damn time zones. It was almost like the house in Egypt I went to with Rumlow. It was completely derelict on the outside, but surprisingly comfortable on the inside. What surprised me the most was the person greeting us as soon as we stepped inside the door. For once I recognised the person in front of me. But Natasha beat me to greeting her.

 

“Bobbi.” Natasha said with a genuine smile. “So good to see you.”

 

“Its good to see both of you.” Bobbi Morse looked tired, but very pleased to see both of us. “Thank you for yanking Rumlow’s towel off the other day Kari. You made my day.”

 

So that’s who the mystery person was who called out thank you. I thought the voice had thought vaguely familiar. Bobbi was always friendly to me when we ran into each other at the Triskelion. Sometimes being Jared’s sister was handy. People who were polite to him were always polite to me. 

 

“You’re welcome,” I said with a laugh. “Hows things going out here?”

 

“Boring.” Bobbi motioned for us to move into one of the other rooms. We followed her into the small kitchen and sat down at the table. “Dr Malone is up in his room and ready to go when you two are. Its quiet. No one followed us during the extraction. The only thing tripping the motion sensors out here are rabbits and the occasional fox. It’s very quiet. Coffee?”

 

The house was surrounded by scrubby bush and dessert. We were miles from civilisation so that wasn’t a surprise. 

 

“Got any food?” I asked. I needed food more than I needed coffee right now. I was still buzzing a little from the stimulant. I was really glad I only had half. SHIELD’s stimulants were a little stronger than the ones I used to use in the Air Force. 

 

“Help yourself.” Bobbi motioned behind her. “There’s enough food to feed an army.”

 

I got up and made some sandwiches, listening to Natasha and Bobbi’s conversation. It didn’t take Bobbi long to brief both of us on the situation. It was exactly as Coulson had said it. All we had to do now was get Dr Malone in the car and start driving. Natasha and I would drive in 10 hour shifts, giving us both enough time to sleep so we didn’t have to stop for the night. It would be a long trip, but at least it wouldn’t take long with both of us driving. 

 

“If I take first driving shift, are you good to leave now?” Natasha asked, stealing half a sandwich off my plate.

 

I nodded, my mouth too full of ham and cheese to respond properly. 

 

“I’ll go get Dr Malone.” Bobbi stood up, stretching as she went. She looked a lot like Natasha when she did that. 

 

Natasha and I both ate silently until Bobbi and Dr Malone came back into the room. He was a balding, middle aged man. He looked a little like a mad scientist with his hair sticking out everywhere and mismatched clothing.

 

“Dr Malone, I’m Agent Romanoff and this is Agent Lyngley.” Natasha stepped into his cool professional role instantly as she stood up. You wouldn’t know half a second ago she was shoving a sandwich in her mouth. and chewing with her mouth open. “We’ll be leaving right away. If you need to get or do anything, please do it now.”

 

“Thank you Agent Romanoff, I have everything right here.” Dr Malone motioned to a small suitcase behind him. His crisp British accent didn’t quite match his appearance. “I’m ready to leave when you are.”

 

“We’ll get changed and go.” Natasha nodded, glancing over to me. Right, I’d forgotten I was in my flight suit still. Natasha was already in civilian clothes. I shoved the last of my sandwich in my mouth, grabbed my bag and found a quiet corner tog et changed in. It took me less than 2 minutes to get civilian clothes. I found the group waiting in the kitchen for me. As soon as I stepped in, Bobbi motioned for us to follow her.

 

Bobbi led us out to the garage where we had a nondescript grey SUV waiting for us. It was beat up enough on the outside to not stick out like a sore thumb. But inside it was comfortable and modern. As long as the air conditioner worked and the seats were comfortable, I didn’t care about much else. I slid into the passenger seat and made myself at home. We’d be living in this car for the next few days, may as well be comfortable while we were doing it. 

 

“Headscarf,” Natasha reminded me with a look of minor disgust on her face. I wrinkled my nose, but went rummaging through my bag for one. I’d forgotten we’d be driving along civilian roads so we had to obey the local customs. Natasha already had hers on, so I had to fiddle to get mine on. At least no one could comment about my still very light pink hair. 

 

“Have a safe trip guys,” Bobbi said, tapping the top of the car.

 

Natasha shot her a grin in response. Nothing else was said as Natasha pulled out into the harsh sunlight. The car kicked up dust as we Natasha swung the car around and we took off into the bright morning sun. 

 

As the sun got higher, the rocky desert of Iran turned into lightly treed areas the closer we got to the coast. At the first major town, Natasha stopped and got us a weird pita bread called shawarma. The pita stuffed with meat, sauce and salad was surprisingly good. After lunch, I lulled into an easy sleep listening to Natasha make conversation with Dr Malone. He was a quiet man, but he seemed to enjoy the conversation when it happened. I was feeling surprisingly rested and it was dark outside when Natasha shook me awake to take over driving. I don’t know how she did it, but she had a coffee waiting for me.

 

“It’s not going to be very hot,” Natasha warned me as she handed it over, along with some kind of pastry. “I figured you’d want something though. Come on, my turn to sleep.”

 

We were pulled over in the middle of nowhere. I could see lights of a city in the distance and the road was paved, so we weren’t too far from civilisation. Dr Malone was sitting in the back of a car with a flashlight, reading Jared’s book. He gave me a brief smile as I caught his eye in the rearview mirror. I got out, stretching and feeling the relief as my back cracked. I was stiff, but not too horribly sore right now. I wandered away far enough from the car so I could pee in peace. Natasha and I took turns behind a bush a few feet away from the road. 

 

There wasn’t much to say as I climbed into the drivers seat. Natasha was asleep about 5 minutes down the road. I took a few gulps of my barely warm coffee and nibbled on the pastry to fully wake myself up.

 

“I hope you don’t mind me borrowing your book Agent Lyngley,” Dr Malone broke the silence. He held the book up, showing me he only had a handful of pages to go.

 

“Not at all.” I looked back at him in the rearview mirror. “I finished it on the flight over here. It’s my brothers book.”

 

“It’s quite a good series, I have the rest at home in London,” Dr Malone said, almost absently staring at the book. “My daughter gave this one to me for Christmas one year and it became a tradition after that.”

 

I thought it was a stand alone book. I’d have to go and find the rest of the series now. I’d really enjoyed it and was mildly impressed about the accuracy the author had gone to.

 

“How old is your daughter?” It was nice to have a bit of conversation while I woke up properly. 

 

“32, she’s due to give birth to her first child any day now,” Dr Malone smiled, looking lost in his own memory. “My first grandchild. You can imagine I’m quite keen to get home.”

 

“We will make sure you get there as quickly as possible.” I smiled back at him. Despite his odd clothes and mad scientist appearance, he seemed like a nice person. “That’s one thing you can’t miss out on.”

 

“Do you have children Agent Lyngley?” Dr Malone asked.

 

“No, I don’t but I do have a very demanding god daughter,” I said with a small chuckle. “In fact, I better get her something some trinkets along the way, otherwise she’ll be very unhappy.”

 

I’d have to find something for Lila and Cooper as well. I felt like I’d barely seen them except for pizza night and the 3 times I’d been at Clint’s for dinner. I

 

“Are you by any chance related to Paul Lyngley?” Dr Malone’s next question was an abrupt change of topic. But I wasn’t surprised by it.

 

“That’s my Dad.” I always felt a little proud to be saying that. Dad had done a lot of work within SHIELD over the years. It was only since I’d joined I’d known the scope of it. A lot of people within SHIELD spoke very highly about my Dad. 

 

“Is he now?”

 

The tone in which Dr Malone said that made me smother back a giggle. He sounded very old school English professor the way it came out. I could only nod in confirmation. 

 

“He must be very proud, having a daughter in Enforcement,” Dr Malone mused. I could see him staring at me in the rearview mirror again. “Though I do believe you have a brother?”

 

“I do.” I nodded again. “He’s in Enforcement of SHIELD as well. Dad was a little disappointed one of us didn’t follow in his footsteps. He used to say he had one smarter than the average child. I think he was hoping for that child to go to MIT and be like him.”

 

At least I’d been accepted to MIT. Though I’d never told Dad about it. I was sure he’d either kill me or drop dead of a heart attack for going Air Force instead. Then again, I wouldn’t be sitting here if it wasn’t for my decision all those years ago. It’s funny how one decision can change your life in ways you could never imagine. I never imagined this would be my life a year and a half ago. It was a far change from going to work every Monday to Friday, hoping for flying hours or begging for an overseas tour to get flying time and listening to my noisy neighbours wondering if they were going to fight or fuck loudly that night. There had been bumps in the road but I wouldn’t want my old life back now. 

 

“I’m guessing the smart child was you?” Even in the dark I could see Dr Malone’s eye’s sparkling in amusement. I nodded enthusiastically, shooting him a small grin. “So, why did you join SHIELD?”

 

“I was actually Air Force first.” I took another sip of my nearly cold coffee and a mouthful of pastry. Whatever the weird pastry with fruit and nuts made up for the dodgy coffee. “SHIELD threw me an offer I couldn’t refuse and here I am.”  
  
“SHIELD are good at doing that,” Dr Malone said dryly. “I’m not bothering you, am I?”

 

“Not at all, I appreciate the conversation,” I said honestly. It was going to be a long 10 hours and having a few hours pass by quickly would be a blessing. “Can you tell me about your work in SHIELD?”

 

“Of course, I’m guessing they wouldn’t send someone without the correct clearance to hear about it.”

 

Dr Malone launched into a brief explanation of what he was doing. When I could understand that, he went into quite a lot of specifics. It was obvious he was very passionate about what he was working on. I only understood about 20% of it, but at least I could vaguely follow what he was talking about. It had something to do with new nuclear fusion technology SHIELD was hoping to use. But it was a fascinating way to whittle away a few hours. Dr Malone eventually grew tired and about 0100 local time I was left with nothing but my thoughts and a wide open road as we came up upon to Armenia border.

 

“Tasha.” I reached over and shook Natasha awake just before we got to the border check.

 

I got a grunt from her as she woke up, bleary eyed and grumbling under her breath in Russian. She instantly sat up a little straighter when she saw where we were. 

 

“Hang on, I’ll get our papers out,” Natasha smothered back a yawn as she spoke. “Shouldn’t be too much of an issue.”

 

Natasha was right. The officials at the border didn’t bother looking at anything of ours. Our passports were stamped and we were waved through without even waking up Dr Malone. The border guards looked at tired as I was starting to feel. Maybe they wanted to get rid of us quickly so they could all go back to sleep. Either way, I was very glad for no issues. It was thrilling and a little terrifying to be using a fake passport in an official way.  

 

Natasha fell back asleep as soon as we pulled away from the border. The mountainous terrain of Armenia made the driving slow in the dark. At least the roads were maintained well enough that it wasn’t completely terrifying getting around. We passed through 2 smallish towns before it was time for Natasha to take over. I was barely able to keep my eyes open by the time I pulled up. I crawled into the passenger seat and was asleep nearly instantly.

 

The trip through Armenia and Georgia passed much of the same. It was eat, sleep and stop for toilet breaks. The sandy hills of Iran gave way to dense forest and mountainous terrain. It made some of the night driving fairly interesting. But it was still relaxing. It seemed stupid to be wasting Natasha and I on a mission like this. Secretly, I was glad to be well away from DC and the problem I left behind there.

 

It was also good to get my head sorted out. While Dr Malone slept, Natasha and I had a long conversation about Greg. It didn't solve anything, but it did steel my resolve to wait until he contacted me first. For all I knew there could be a barrage of texts waiting for me when I turned my phone on. Or he could ignore me for the rest of my life. But I wasn’t going to chase him. Natasha was definitely right about me needing someone who wasn’t going to fuck with my head. Greg had so much baggage and too many secrets. I didn’t need that right now. 

 

When Natasha and I weren’t deep in conversation about my complete fuck up of a love life, Dr Malone would join in the conversation. Overall it was a pleasant time to spend a few days. We were about 100 miles of out Odessa and Natasha was driving. I was awake, much to my displeasure after only sleeping for about 4 hours. But it wasn’t long to go now. We’d have a Quinjet waiting to take us home at the safe house. It wouldn’t be long until I could satisfying the gnawing curiosity I had about turning my phone on. It kept growing with every passing mile. Despite my resolve about not talking to Greg unless he spoke first, I was dying to see if he’d said anything. I was too damn curious for my own good. It was going to get me into trouble one of these days. 

 

“You drive like a crazy person,” I said casually to distract that train out thought. My feet propped were up on the dash and I was enjoying the last bit of Autumn sun on my face as we sped down a quiet road. We still had another hour to go before making our rendezvous point, but Natasha had been right. As usual. Coming along for this pick up had been a bit of fun. It was no stress and very low key. The weather was beautiful in the Ukraine for this time of year. I thought it’d be freezing cold, but the days had been pleasantly warm.

 

“I am a crazy person,” Natasha said, grinning at me. Her hair whipped around her face as she looked at me, carefree and happy. We kept the windows down to enjoy the warm evening air as we sped along the mountain side road. It was quite pretty at the moment. The setting sun cast orange and pink shadows along the higher mountains, giving everything a beautiful golden glow. The air was fresh and crisp, only a small bite of cold in it promising a brisk night. I took in a big lungful of the fresh air. We were miles from any type of civilisation, everything was so crisp and clean out here. As good as it’d been to get away, I couldn’t wait to get out of this damn car and home to a real bed. 

 

As Natasha turned back to the road there was a deafening bang. Before any of us could react, the car spun out of control and started to flip. The sound of metal giving way under pressure was deafening. Any noise I thought I might have made was drowned out by car being obliterated as we rolled. My head hit smashed against something hard and I blacked out. 

 

I woke up coughing. The movement in my chest made pain flare through my body. I opened my eyes, seeing double and stars dancing around my vision. I could feel something trickling down the side of my head. Now I was conscious, I really didn’t want to be. Everything hurt. I was hanging upside down by my seatbelt, pinned between the door and what was left of part of the car. Even with my double vision I could see I was alone in the car.

 

“Nat?” I tried to call out. My voice came out as gasping wheeze, sending shooting pains through my chest. I gritted my teeth, forcing myself to breathe through it and not scream. Screaming wasn’t going to help the pain go away. If anything it would make it worse.

 

“Kari!” Natasha appeared, poking her head through my broken window. She looked fine, except for a scrape on her cheek. “Hang on. I’ve got nothing to cut you out of the car with. Just hang on.”

 

Natasha reached in and gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. My fingers wouldn’t cooperate in squeezing her hand back.  For a horrible moment I thought I was paralysed. The thought made my entire body jerk a few seconds later. It hurt like a fucking bitch, every muscle on my body screamed at the sudden movement. I definitely wasn’t paralysed. 

 

“We blew a tyre,” Natasha said, looking calm despite the situation. “Went over the cliff. I pulled Dr Malone out. You’re gonna be okay. Stay put.”

 

I didn’t have much of a choice in the matter. I was very well wedged in-between what looked like part of the roof and the door. If I only had a few broken ribs, I was going to be lucky. Judging by how much it hurt to breath, I was very sure they were broken too. But Natasha’s calm tone kept me from freaking out too much. As soon as we were late to our rendezvous point, a search party would be sent out. We wouldn’t be sitting out here for days. It was a mildly comforting thought as I finally squeezed Natasha’s hand back.

 

The sound of rocks sliding down the hill made both snap our heads to the sound of it. Judging by how still Natasha went, I knew it was a very bad sign. 

 

“Gun?” Natasha asked, dropping her voice to a low whisper.

 

I had it strapped to my thigh earlier because of how soon we’d get to base but I couldn’t feel it there now. I shook my head, making my blurry vision worse. Natasha pulled out a knife from her boot and pressed it into my hand. She put her finger to her lips and I nodded in confirmation. All pain from my body very quickly left as adrenaline kicked in. She slipped away, hugging the side of the car until she was out of my sight. 

 

I stayed still, straining to hear what was going on outside. My spinning head wasn’t going my vision any favours, so I closed my eyes and listened. There was nothing but the scuffle of feet on rocks and what sounded like heavy boots. I jumped as a gunshot rang out across the quiet. The sound of a high calibre rifle echoing around the mountain was enough to spur some more adrenaline into me. I reached up and cut my seatbelt, sending my body crashing into the roof of the car. My power was on my fingertips before my brain caught up to what I was doing. The door I was wedged against shattered a few seconds later, sending me tumbling out onto the rocky outcrop. I slid for a few feet before stopping. It was a damn near vertical drop out of the car. I couldn’t bring myself to look down thinking of how much of a drop it might be. Dragging myself up to my knees, I took in the sight around me.

 

It was nearly dark. I could only barely make out the outline of the figure walking back up the hill. Tall and well built, he walked like a predator, completely uncaring about what was behind him. A rifle slung over his shoulder and 2 unmoving bodies a few feet to his right was enough to tell me he wasn’t a friendly.  

 

It took every ounce of strength I had in my body to raise the knife, aim and throw. Despite my spinning head and blurry vision, it was a perfect throw. Even Clint would have been impressed by it. The knife cut through the air with a gentle swoosh, right on target of hitting the guy in the back of the neck. A glint of metal flashed in the failing light as the figure turned and knocked my knife from the air. Soulless blue eyes stared down at me. His lower face covered by a mask. The glint of metal from before came up and it took a moment for my mind to process that the metal was his arm. 

 

I fumbled for the gun on my thigh, my hands meeting thin air. In the second it took for me to fumble for my weapon, he was in front of me. The movement was too quick for a normal person. I’d barely seen or heard him move. The metal hand picked me up by the jaw, strong, cold fingers squeezing my face as he effortlessly lifted me up. 

 

If I was in pain before, it had nothing on the agony I was in now. It felt like my bones were being crushed under his fingers. It was going to be crushed to death like a bug by a metal armed assassin. He held me there, staring but not making the final move. It was terrifying looking into the eyes of someone who was about to kill you. I couldn’t move, I couldn't think straight and I could barely breath. This really wasn’t the way I wanted to die. His fingers closed around my jaw a little tighter and I could feel the crunch of bone on my face. The agony coursing through me made me start to see black edges in my vision. I was going to pass out if he squeezed any harder.

 

“You weren’t meant to be here,” the harsh and accented Russian nearly didn’t process in my brain. It was a really strange accent. It almost sounded like an American who hadn’t learnt to speak it properly. His grip didn’t loosen as he spoke, but it gave me a few seconds to let me think. “Mission statement said 2, not 3.”

 

As he spoke, my brain finally kicked into gear and worked through the pain. I reached up, digging my hand into the metal plates holding me up and let me power take over. The assassin stared as the ice wound its way up his metal arm. Even with his face half covered, I saw his brow crinkle in confusion. His grip loosened before dropping me a fraction of a second later. I fell to the ground, gasping for the air I didn't realise I needed. Before I could regroup and make another attack, the metal fist came flying at my face. I blanked out as soon as it hit me in the face. 

 

I don’t know how much time passed, but it was really dark when I was slowly dragged back to consciousness. I could taste blood in my mouth and the left side of my face felt like someone had taken a hammer to it. I couldn’t see out of my left eye, and keeping the right one open make me feel sick from dizziness. The moon was giving off some light but it wasn’t helping me see in the dark. The temperature had dropped dramatically, making my entire body shiver uncontrollably. I rolled over, groaning at the immense amount of pain I was in. Everything hurt. But at the moment my face was the worst of it, then my ribs. I felt like I couldn’t draw enough breath in to get the oxygen I needed. I rolled over, trying to relieve some of the pressure of the awkward slump I was in. In the distance, I could make out a form of what looked to be 2 bodies.

 

Natasha.

 

I don’t know how I did it, but I was on my feet and I managed to stumble over to her. It was the extent of the exertion I could do. I collapsed next to both of them as soon as I got there, panting and sweating heavily. Even in the dim light I could see the puddle of blood around her. She was laying face down over Dr Malone, pale as a ghost with a gun shot wound through her hip. 

 

“Natasha.” Talking was excruciating and my voice sounded slurred. I reached out and fumbled to find a pulse in her neck. It was there, weak and erratic, but there. “Please wake up.”

 

I got no response. I pulled off my shirt, feeling strangely numb as I pressed it to the wound to attempt to stop the bleeding. My arms didn’t want to work properly and it probably took longer than it should of to get my shirt off. But I couldn’t think of anything else to do. As I put as much pressure on the wound as I could, I bent over to check for a pulse on Dr Malone. There was none. My heart ached thinking back to the conversations we’d had in the car. He had a daughter back home and a grandchild who was never going to see her Grandfather. My chest constricted as I forced back my feelings. I couldn’t think of the crisp spoken gentleman now. I had bigger problems to worry about.

 

I needed to move Natasha. We were stuck on the side of a cliff with no means of getting back to our checkpoint. Both of our phones would be in the wreckage of the car. I was in no shape to go searching through the mangled piece of metal that was our car.  My watch was missing so I had no way of telling the time, except that it was dark now. But we would have missed our rendezvous. Someone would be looking for us. I needed to get us somewhere that we could be seen. Even though it was dark I could tell we were on the side of a cliff. We were lucky we hadn’t gone all the way down, a small lip had stopped the car crashing down another 200ft. 

 

My shirt was fast becoming soaked through with blood. A crazy idea popped into my head as I stared at the dark fabric under my hands. I took a deep breath and took the shirt away, grateful for no blood spurting back at me. I put my hand over the wound, mustering every bit of concentration I had. The ice fanned out under my hand onto Natasha’s skin, forming a seal over the wound. Her skin was already cold so the body heat didn’t begin melting it straight away. I made it an inch which before turning Natasha over and inspecting the damage on the other side. The bullet had exited and a quick glance at Dr Malone showed it to have hit him directly in the chest. The mess of fragmented bone and tissue made my stomach turn. Whoever the assassin was, had surgical precision with his gun. Natasha was still alive, meaning the bullet wasn’t meant for her. 

 

I didn’t waste time pondering my next move. My vision was starting to swim again, I could barely keep myself upright. But I forced myself to focus and keep going. I made the ice bandage on the front of Natasha, reaching up the check her pulse again. It was getting thready, judging by the amount of blood on the ground,  I wouldn’t be surprised if she was going into hypovolemic shock. The thought to it was enough to jolt my body into action. A blessed hit of adrenaline somehow managed to get me back on my feet with Natasha propped up against me. 

 

“You can do this,” I coached myself, my voice slurred and weak. “Come on Kari, you can do this.”

 

I put one foot in front of the other, dragging Natasha’s limp form with me. My body screamed in protest, but I made my foot move again. And again. My body screamed at me in protest. Every lungful of air I tried to take in felt like fire was scorching my chest. My head and face were pounding with a horrid ferocity. But I kept forcing one foot to move in front of the other.  

 

I don’t know how I did it, but it felt like one-second we were on the side of the cliff and the next I was hands and knees down on the road, gasping for breath with Natasha lying beside me. I couldn’t breath any more, the fire in my chest was getting worse. My head was pounding with such force, I was sure it’d fall off. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to will the pain away. But the fire kept spreading. This time it radiated down my right arm. I hadn’t noticed before but it was at the strangest angle. I had no idea how I managed to throw the knife with how my arm looked. My arm looked like it was a few inches too long. Even with my blurry vision and pounding head I could tell it was dislocated. Strangely it was about the only part of my body that didn’t hurt. That wasn’t a good sign. There was no way I would have thrown with my right arm. It must have done it with my left. I had no idea though. Everything was blurring together.

 

“Agent Lyngley? Agent Romanoff?”

 

The voice sounded miles away. There was a very vague familiarity to it. My head hurt far too much to try and piece it together in my mind. The sound of footsteps forced my eyes back open and I was suddenly surrounded by light. A glint of metal was the first thing I saw.

 

Instinct was the only thing making me move. A fresh hit of adrenaline made my body bend over Natasha’s and my fingers closed around the gun still in her thigh holster. I had no idea how she’d managed to keep on it while I dragged our asses up here. I only made it to my knees, but I had enough strength to hold the gun in my left hand. Thanks to Clint, I could shoot nearly as well with my left as my right hand these days.

 

“Whoa, easy there Agent Lyngley,” that familiar voice again came in a soothing tone. “It's okay, we’re friendly. Do you remember me?”

 

I shook my head. I couldn’t see straight let alone make out the face of the person in front of the lights behind him. But he was armed and Natasha and I were surrounded by more armed men. I’d stared down death once already today. I wasn’t feeling afraid to do it a second time. By the weight of the Glock, it had a full magazine in it. I had 15 shots. I’d go down fighting and take 15 down with me. One shot, one kill. Clint would be very proud of me.

 

“We met in Bagram,” the person speaking inched closer to me. “I’m Lieutenant Colonel Maning.”

 

Why was the name something I knew? My fuzzy head couldn’t concentrate on trying to place that name with someone I knew. Him inching closer was making my trigger finger inch closer to its mark. I could barely stay upright let alone aim. But I was confident I could inflict some maximum damage if I could.

 

“Remember that day at the range when you outshot Riley?” The man stood his ground, hands up in a non threatening manner. “He joked about handing his balls over to put in your purse?”

 

I remembered that day clearly. It had been Riley and I, plus his old SEAL team at the range shooting because we had nothing else to do. All of a sudden the name clicked in my head. Maning was Riley’s old SEAL team commanding officer. What the fuck was a SEAL team doing out here near Odessa?

 

“What was Riley’s favourite drink?” I managed to rasp out. Pain flared in my face again as I spoke. My mouth filled with blood again and I tried to spit it out. It ended up dribbling down my chin more than getting on the ground. My jaw and tongue didn’t want to work properly at all. I wasn’t going to give in so easily. This could be a trick.

 

“Heineken or Jim Beam,” Maning said instantly. “He liked his Jim Beam old and expensive, but would settle for the cheap stuff if he had to.”

 

I dropped the gun, feeling a sudden rush of relief. The relief was quickly following by dizziness and I found myself swaying. My body wouldn’t work anymore and my last conscious thought was to faint away from Natasha so they could see the extent of her injury first. I could wait.

 

When I woke up again I was moving and there was bright lights above me. It was so disorientating. I only had my eyes open for a second before I shut them again. Someone was holding my hand and I could hear people speaking rapidly around me. It was too quick and my brain was too fried to process any of it. But the voice I knew cut through the mess of voices clear enough.

 

“Kari Lyngley, I don’t have anything else on her besides she’s a SHIELD agent.” It took me a moment to place Maning’s voice again. “Car accident as far as I can tell. Did the emergency chest tube on the chopper ride, she was conscious and vaguely responsive when we found her.”

 

“Anastasia,” I murmured. My jaw felt strangely numb. Actually my entire body felt pretty numb. I felt like I was drunk. It was a blessed relief from the pain I’d been feeling earlier. “My middle name is Anastasia. You need to call Coulson.”

 

I rattled off his number and my SHIELD number as well. Or I hoped I did, my mind was a fuzzy jumble right now. I could have been reciting my old USAF number for all I knew.

 

“We’ve already been in touch with Coulson,” Maning’s voice sounded distant and far away. “Is your friend allergic to anything or have anything the doctors need to know about?”

 

“Natasha.”

 

I immediately struggled to try and push myself upright. It was useless though. Soft hands pushed me back down onto the bed and kept me there. I didn’t have an ounce of strength left in me. It took my ages to try and get my head to focus again. I needed to focus. This was important.

 

“No allergies, she hates morphine though,” I said, fighting to keep the slur out of my voice. “Makes her hallucinate.”

 

I have no idea why I knew that. It was probably from one of our completely random conversations we tended to have. I could feel myself being sucked back under into the land of unconsciousness before I could fight it.

 

“Don’t ring my mum, she’ll worry too much.” I managed to get out. Everything was becoming all jumbled again. “Tell Coulson that he isn’t allowed to be angry at me for having sex in the Quinjet with Riley cuz it was Barton that stole the truth serum.”

 

“I’ll tell him that,” Maning sounded like he was laughing but it was so far away. He said something else but I was too tired to process it. I drifted away again, enjoying the peace and quiet of the nothing. 

 

The first thing I noticed when I started to become conscious again was someone’s hand through mine. It was about the only thing I could concentrate on. The world around me felt very fuzzy and dim. Judging by the roughness and very specific callous on the palm, it was Clint’s hand. It took every ounce of energy I had to tiredly squeeze his hand. My face hurt way too much to try and open my eyes. 

 

“Hey.”

 

I was right, it was Clint. I would have smiled if my face muscles would cooperate. 

 

“Don’t try and talk, you’ve broken your jaw,” Clint said in a gentle tone. “It’s wired shut so don’t freak out.”

 

I grunted some sort of noise out in response. I tried to pry my eyes open, but I could only get the right one to cooperate. The left one felt like it was glued shut. The white room was nothing but a blurry mess and my head started to pound. I shut it again just as quickly.

 

“We’re at Ramstein Air Base,” Clint supplied for me, his thumb running over my knuckle. “Natasha’s fine. She’s out of surgery and stable. Did you get a look at your shooter?”

 

I nodded weakly. Even with his face covered, I’d never forget those soulless blue eyes. They’d haunt me for a long time. 

 

“We’ll talk later then,” Clint said gently, squeezing my hand. “Go back to sleep.”

 

I didn’t need to be told twice. I was asleep the second after Clint finished speaking. 

 

When I came to again I could make out Coulson and Clint’s voices. The jumbled blur of sound was like gibberish for the few seconds. But the more awake I became, it got clearer. 

 

“You could have waited,” Coulson sounded extremely exasperated. “3 hours Clint. 3 fucking hours. That’s all you would have had to wait.”

 

“I did pick Linda and Jared up on the way,” Clint’s comeback was extremely defensive. “You know how much she freaks out when Kari is hurt.”

 

“Still doesn’t change the fact you stole…” Coulson began.

 

“Borrowed,” Clint cut in. 

 

“Either way, a Quinjet got taken without permission and you flew it all the way to Germany.”

 

That made me crack an eye open. What the fuck had Clint done? Clint and Coulson were standing with the backs to me, having a serious conversation. They were both oblivious to me being awake.

 

“Fury likes Linda far too much to shoot me down.” Clint was completely unapologetic. 

 

“And she’s taking most of the blame saying she coerced you into it,” Coulson huffed out an unamused laugh. “You have no idea how lucky you are she’s taking the fall for this one.”

 

“Can you blame her though Coulson?” Clint’s tone turned a little more gentle. “She gets a call saying her daughter has been shot off the road by an unknown assassin and she’s being medivaced to Ramstein. Jared’s never been here so he couldn’t teleport her over. What else was she meant to do? Even if I wasn’t already on the way to New York, she would have done anything in her power to get here.”

 

The silence was near deafening in the room. It felt like hours before Coulson spoke.

 

“After Pripyat, I never ever wanted to have to call her with news like this again.” Coulson’s voice sounded a little shaky. “This was meant to be a need to know mission only. A very simple escort. I have no idea how it went sideways so quickly.”

 

“Kari said she saw the shooters face,” Clint’s tone was firm. “Jared and I can go hunting once they’re both stable enough to go home.”

 

I wanted to go hunting too. I’d quite happily put a bullet in the head of the guy who did this to me. Actually, scratch that. I’d put a bullet in his chest for Dr Malone. It was only fitting. I managed to crack open both eyes

 

“Me too,” I managed to slur out. The words came out funny, but the sound of my voice made them both jump and whirl around in surprise.

 

“Hey there slugger,” Clint recovered first, a bright smile coming over his face. “You look like shit.”

 

“You should see the other guy.” Fuck it hurt to talk. I felt like I was drooling everywhere. I tried to reach up and wipe my face but Clint gently detoured my hand.

 

“You aren’t drooling,” Clint said, looking a little amused. “I’ve broken my jaw before. Believe me when I say don’t touch anywhere near your face just yet. Time to work on sign language again.”

 

About the only thing that really stuck in my head from Clint trying to teach me ASL was fuck off. Which I happily tapped out with my hands, much to Clint and Coulson’s amusement. It was good to see Coulson smile. The second before he turned around he looked so worried. He was such a mother hen with us sometimes. I think he worried about me as much as my parents did.

 

“What else?” I tried to finish the sentence but my jaw hurt too much to keep going. I pointed at my body, hoping one of them would get the picture.

 

“Your cheekbone is fractured, along with your jaw,” Coulson filled in. “You dislocated your shoulder and fractured 4 ribs. One of your ribs punctured your right lung. One hell of a goose egg of your head, but you’ll live.”

 

A few broken bones were a small price to pay. It could have been much, much worse. I could have easily been in a body bag.

 

“Nat?” I asked, growing more tired by the second. I closed both my eyes and sunk back against my pillow. Another little nap wouldn’t hurt as soon as I found out how Natasha was.

 

“We’re going to have matching scars,” Clint chuckled. “But she’s going to be fine. She’s already harassing the nurses about getting up and moving. Jared went to find her a cheeseburger.”

 

I could definitely go for a cheeseburger. I didn't get to voice my opinion, I was quickly sucked back into the land of unconsciousness. The last thing I remembered was Clint holding my hand. For now, I felt safe.  That was all I needed to pass out again.


	62. Chapter 62

I could feel 3 sets of eyes on me as I was unsuccessfully trying to shove ice cream through a syringe and into my mouth. I pushed way harder than was necessary and regretted it instantly. I was still too drugged up for my reflexes to stop the inevitable. Instead of getting it in the hole where I was missing 2 back teeth, it exploded in my cheek. A second later I was gagging and desperately reaching for a sick bag to let it drain back out. I could feel myself wanting to throw up, but the ton of anti nausea drugs stopped me from actually puking.

To say I was struggling with my new way of feeding myself for the next 6 weeks was an understatement. If it couldn't fit through a straw, it had to go through a syringe. If it couldn’t fit through that, I couldn't eat it. Half melted ice cream wasn't in either of those categories. But I wanted something to make my stomach feel like it was getting a bit of solid food.

“I told you it was a bad idea and to let it melt first.” Clint got the sick bag to me first. “Pull your cheek out, it helps.”

I did as I was told, letting the now melted ice cream drain back out of my mouth. It was disgusting and my stomach rebelled heavily against me. Leaning over only made my ribs hurt even more, but at least I didn’t throw up.

“Just drink your Ensure,” Clint said, sounding slightly exasperated. “It won’t kill you.”

The vile tasting high calorie drink was definitely going to kill me. I was sure of it. I simply couldn’t force myself to have another drop of it. However the Doctors at Landstuhl hospital, the medical centre adjacent to Ramstein base, wouldn’t let me go home until I gained at least 2 pounds. I wanted to laugh in their faces when they said that. I should have been discharged a few days ago. But my 5 pound weight loss in a week and a half made the doctor’s not very happy. I was dragging my heels on it a bit as well because Natasha wasn’t due to be discharged until the end of this week. On Coulson’s request, we’d been put in the same room. Now I was out of the worst part of my injuries, Jared was bringing Mom and Dad back and forth every day to see me. Clint and Jared were staying on base, only a short walk away. Coulson was back and forth as much as he could. But our fuck up of a mission kept him very busy trying to sort out how it went so wrong.

We were both very lucky our injuries weren’t any worse. Natasha’s gunshot wound, while it bled heavily, it was little more than a flesh wound that went straight through. It had missed everything, vital or not. Even Clint’s gunshot wound for Yelena hadn’t been that clean. Her biggest worry had been an infection and the blood loss, but now 2 weeks after the mission, she was nearly in the clear. Natasha was allowed to sit up and hobble to the bathroom and back. My jaw and ribs ached with every breath I took. Any bodily functions were a new form of torture. But we were alive and besides my broken bones and Natasha’s very bruised body, relatively unscathed for what happened to us.

“It will,” I mumbled back in my funny voice. My tongue was still swollen making anything more than a few words very hard to get out. Clint and Coulson were the only ones who could understand me clearly. I carried an iPad everywhere with me if I had to interact with anyone without either of them. At least this had made my learn to type a little faster.

“It won’t.” Clint’s exasperation grew. “I lived off it for 6 weeks. You will not die from drinking Ensure.”

I’m pretty sure putting up with Natasha and I was Clint’s punishment for taking the Quinjet without permission. Once I was conscious enough, I got the full story. Clint was there when Coulson got the phone call about us missing the rendezvous point. It’d only been 45 minutes before Riley’s old SEAL team found us. They’d been in the area on their own mission and picked up the transmission. Being the closest, they got to us first. Clint had been a bit vague about why there hadn’t been a Quinjet available. But he simply went from Quinjet to Quinjet in the hanger until he found a technician scared enough of him not to question him taking it. It was by sheer luck that Quinjet was actually going to New York. No one questioned it until Clint was well over the Atlantic Ocean with my Mom and Jared. It took SHIELD nearly an hour to discover the Quinjet was off course and apparently Mom had given Air Traffic Control quite the earful so no one was game enough to make them turn around.

“You’ll have to stay here without us,” Jared said, looking as annoyed as Clint. “And catch a commercial flight home.”

I grumbled, reaching for my iPad. What I wanted to say to Jared was going to be too long for me to slur out. Clint reached over and yanked the iPad out of my hands before I could start my snarky reply to Jared. Beside me, Natasha was hugging a pillow to her stomach, trying really hard not to laugh. I looked enviously at her now finished Jello cup. What I wouldn’t give to have some of that right now.

“Either drink your melted ice cream or Ensure, its up to you.” Clint pointed to both the items that were on the bedside table. “Or the nurses will start shoving that other vile stuff down your throat. Or even better, they’ll give you that feeding tube they’ve been threatening.”

I grumbled, but picked up the now melted ice cream, sticking a straw into it. When I was first allowed to have stuff through a straw, the nurses gave me something that was so vile I refused to touch it again. I’d been quite the pain in the ass about it too. It wasn’t until the doctor’s threatened me with a feeding tube I started somewhat cooperating. Actually, I’d been a bit of a pain in the ass about a lot of things since I was awake properly. For the first time after something going to shit, I wasn’t hating myself and thinking I was a disappointment to my team. Right now, I was pissed. If I was sure I could get away with it, I’d be out of the hospital and trying to track down the assassin who did this to us.

When I was awake enough to describe the person to Jared and Clint, both of them scoffed at me and said I must have hit my head harder than I thought. From what I’d told them, I was describing the ghost known as The Winter Soldier. He was a myth in the intelligence community. It wasn’t until Natasha was awake and collaborated my story, they actually believed me. Not that it made an ounce of sense when I thought about it. Dr Malone was a SHIELD scientist and his work on nuclear fusion technology while ground breaking, wasn’t enough to get him assassinated. Especially by someone who was considered to be a myth. Why did he kill Dr Malone and not Natasha and I? There were so many pieces of the puzzle that didn’t fit in at all. But that one long word, compartmentalisation, that SHIELD loved so much kept the truth from us. The 4 of us could only speculate and grumble over it.

I tentatively sucked on the straw. The melted ice cream was an improvement on the Ensure, but it still tasted wrong. It was calories and thats what I needed at the moment. Jared’s phone chimed as a text came through, making him glance down at the screen. He sighed and got to his feet.

“I’ll be back soon with Mom,” Jared said, tucking his phone back into his pocket. “She said she has something you might like.”

“Yay.” I brightened up immediately. Mom had been experimenting with foods to bring me. Some of the stuff she’d come up with had actually been really good. There was one particular deli in New York close to home that did an amazing potato and bacon chowder. Mom would buy some, take it home and pulverise it in a blender until there were no lumps and bring it back to me. She’d been bringing different soups and ice creams every time she visited. It made up for the crappy food being given to me by the hospital.

“Can you bring me back some ice cream too, please Jared?” Natasha asked, fluttering her eyelashes trying to look innocent. “Mint chocolate chip?”

“I am not a delivery boy,” Jared grumbled, but there was no malice behind his tone. “But yes, do you want anything else?”

Natasha and I nearly had the contents of both our bedrooms in the hospital room. There was something very comforting about sleeping under your own blankets and pillow. Jared had been a very good sport about playing fetch for us.

“Besides a bottle of vodka? No, I’m good.” Natasha was dying for a drink. So was I actually, but pain meds and alcohol really didn’t mix. “Thank you.”

The sweet smile on Natasha’s face was almost sickening. Jared rolled his eyes, but he was still smiling as he teleported away. No sooner had he left, there was a knock on the door. My eyebrows shot up in surprise at seeing who it was.

“Hi,” Maning came through the door with a teddy bear and bouquet of flowers. “Am I interrupting anything?”

“Not at all,” Natasha answered for me. “So good to see you Maning.”

“Hi,” I managed to get out, putting on a small smile that didn’t hurt my face. “Good to see you.”

“The boys put these together for both of you, you can fight over who gets the teddy bear,” Maning’s tone was teasing, as he handed me both the items. The teddy bear was in a flight suit and had a little Air Force badge on it. I immediately handed Natasha the flowers and kept the bear.

“Thanks.” My smile grew a little wider, despite it hurting. It was a very cute teddy bear.

“If you’re feeling up to it, did you want to come outside for a bit Kari?” Maning asked. “If you 2 can spare her.”

“Please, take her away.” Clint was already reaching over to grab my coat out of the closet. “Her mood might improve if she’s out of the room. You can even take her home if you really want. The way she growls at the moment makes her a good guard dog.”

I glared at Clint, snatching my coat out of his hands. Sure, I was grumbly at the moment but I didn’t think I was being that bad. Fortunately for me, Maning was polite enough to contain his laughter. It probably would do me the world of good to get out of the room for an hour. Once we were out of the room, Maning steered me through the halls and we came out one of the side entrances and into a small garden. It wasn’t much, but the cold, fresh air was invigorating. Some of the flowers were still clinging to life, despite the cold autumn air. It was a nice change from the 4 white walls I’d been staring.

“Good to see you a bit more coherent this time,” Maning’s teased me, breaking the silence as we both sat down. “Coulson had a good laugh at what you said to me when you were drugged up.”

I gave Maning a questioning look. I couldn’t remember what I’d exactly said. It was something about the Quinjet and truth serum. I think. I could barely remember Maning actually finding Natasha and I. Everything was a blurred mess in my head.

“You told me to tell Coulson he wasn’t allowed to be mad at you for having sex in the Quinjet with Riley,” Maning informed me with a chuckle. “Because it was Barton who stole the truth serum.”

“Oh god.” If my face didn’t hurt so much, I’d be hiding behind my hands right now. I could feel a hot blush creeping up my neck. I had no memory of that at all. At least Coulson and Maning found my drugged up ramblings amusing.

“So, how are you holding up?” The humour was short lived. Maning’s face turned serious as he looked at me.

“Angry.” That one short word was easy to get out and summed up all of my current feelings. I pointed to my bruised and aching face. “Sore.”

“Trust me, it looks better than it first did,” Maning said dryly, but gave me a sympathetic smile. “You both gave us one hell of a fright finding you like that. I have no idea how you got off that cliff.”

“Me either.” I should have grabbed my iPad before coming out. My jaw was already starting to ache from the little bit of speaking I was doing. “One foot in front of the other, I think.”

“You’re a lot tougher than you look, I’ll give you that.” Maning gaze ran over my body as if he was inspecting me for further damage.

It made me feel a little self conscious. My face was turning shades of green and yellow, instead of the nasty purple bruise that it was. I was lucky I’d only lost 2 back teeth, both which could be repaired when my jaw was unwired. But it still didn’t make me feel any better about myself. I looked like shit. I suppose it could have bee worse. The surgeons were able to fix my jaw by going through the inside of my mouth. I still had the stitches in. They were annoying and scratchy, but at least it wasn’t my face.

“I have something for you.” Maning’s next words were unexpected, as he reached into his pocket. “I meant to give it to you after Riley’s funeral, but I didn’t have any way to contact you.”

Riley’s funeral felt like a lifetime ago instead of 7 months. I wonder what he would have done if he as still here and I’d gotten hurt. No doubt he would have been on that Quinjet with Clint, probably urging him to break every single airspeed rule that existed. The thought brought a sad smile to my face. I missed him so much.

Maning handed me a business card with a set of coordinates on the back.

“When Riley joined SHIELD he wanted somewhere that he could go completely off the grid if he needed,” Maning explained. “It's a log cabin I’ve owned for years in the middle of nowhere in Montana. It snows for 9 months of the year and rains for the rest of them. It’s on a few thousand acres of mountain range. Only Riley, my wife and I know about it. But now its yours to use if you ever need it.”

I gave Maning a questioning look as I read the coordinates over a few times. This was a bit unexpected.

“Look, I know you can’t say much but you only have to listen right now.” Maning pursed his lips, considering his words. “I know SHIELD has its secrets and I’m not its biggest fan. But your mission was really off. We were tracking a terrorist cell, who were tracking your scientist. Its how we got to you so quickly. We found all of them dead about 10 miles from your position.”

Now that got my attention.

“Did you tell Coulson?” I managed to mumble out. Fortunately Maning understood me perfectly well as he nodded.

“I did,” Maning confirmed with a nod. “Unfortunately, government agencies don’t like speaking to each other. Its all out of my hands now. But something stinks about what happened. I just wanted to make sure you had somewhere safe to go if you needed it.”

It was a touching gesture. I barely knew Maning, but Riley spoke of him very highly. His SEAL friends were a tight knit family. It wasn’t a big surprise to know Riley kept some of his secrets away from SHIELD. Not long after Pripyat, Natasha had given me the details of where Riley had kept some money and fake ID hidden away as well. If I ever needed to disappear, I definitely had the means to now. It was a tempting thought. I wouldn’t ever be brave enough to carry through with it. But at least I knew I could get to safety if anything terrible ever happened.

“Thank you.” I couldn’t think of anything else to say. It felt insignificant for someone who barely knew me to be looking out for me. Even months after his death, Riley was still changing my life for the better.

“You’re a good kid.” Maning smiled, reaching over to pat my knee. “My daughter wants to be a fighter pilot. When I got home from Afghanistan I told her all about you. You’re her new hero.”

That brought a smile to my face. A real one for the first time in ages. It was a silly thing to make me smile. But I remembered being 16 and wanting to be a fighter pilot as well. Female fighter pilots were rare enough that I knew every single one of them. I had a lot of hero worship for those women before I finally made it myself.

“How old is she?” I asked.

“16.” Maning pulled out his phone, scrolling through the screen before turning it to face me. “My son is 14 and wants to be a chef. It’s a mixed house.”

The photo showed Maning with 2 children and a woman who I assumed was his wife. He had a beautiful family.

“I’m heading home in 2 hours, but my number and email is on that card if you ever need someone to talk to,” Maning said as he stood up, putting his phone away. “We’re stationed in Little Creek and I live in Norfolk, so it’s only a few hours away if you want to come for a visit. My daughter would be very excited to meet you.”

“I’ll keep it in mind,” I said, tucking the business card into the pocket of my own jacket. I gave Maning another smile. “Thanks for saving us.”

If Maning hadn't found us for another few hours, it could have been a different scenario right now. Natasha could have died from blood loss, despite the bullet missing anything vital. I wouldn’t have died, but it would be a much longer recovery than I was currently facing.

“I’m sure you’ll repay the favour one day,” Maning chuckled again. “Don’t be a stranger. If SHIELD pisses you off too much, DEVGRU Black Squadron take women. They’d love to have someone of your abilities in their ranks.”

“Ew, Navy.” I teased, wrinkling my nose as much as I could. Maning at least caught meaning of my tease, despite the small amount of words, and laughed.

“Typical Air Force, can’t expect them to go to war unless it’s 9 to 5, Monday to Friday,” Maning teased back. He smiled at me again, looking sad. “You’ll be all right. Riley would be very proud of you. Take care of yourself, Kari.”

With another smile, Maning turned and left. I watched his retreating back with mixed feelings. While the visit and the safe house off SHIELD’s radar was a touching gesture, it felt like there was so much more to it. I sighed heavily, reaching up to carefully rub my eyes. Maybe the visit was nothing more than what it seemed. I was on so many painkillers still, my brain wasn’t working properly. I stayed in the garden until it was too cold for me to bear any longer. A bit of fresh air did wonders for my mood. It was a long walk back to my room and I was dragging my feet by the time I got back. The little bit of freedom in the garden was making the 4 walls very unappealing to go back to.

When I got back to the room, both Mom and Dad were there, along with Jared, Clint and Natasha. Mom proudly held up the now familiar takeaway container with a triumphant grin.

“I think we have a winner.”

The pleased looked on Mom’s face made me laugh as much as I could through my wired jaw. It was more like a muted wheeze, but it made Mom smile even more. Whatever it was smelt amazing. Natasha was busy shovelling something similar smelling into her mouth, barely pausing to breathe.

“And I have your new phone.” Mom pointed to a cardboard box on the chair. “Food first though.”

The soup was the best one Mom had gotten yet. It didn’t take me long to slurp the seafood chowder down and I was feeling completely satisfied for the first time in a week. My parents stayed for a few hours, while I appreciated the company I couldn’t stop looking at my phone. I was dying to get my new phone set up and see if Greg had said anything. It was one of the things that kept replaying over and over in my head during the times when I couldn’t sleep.

The second Natasha and I were left alone, I made a beeline for the box.

“I’m impressed you lasted that long,” Natasha said, looking over to me. “Hurry up and turn it on. I want to see what he says.”

I plugged the phone into the charger and pressed the on button, impatiently waiting for it to boot up. The iPhone did its usual start up nonsense as I signed in again. The standard background came on as it booted up. A second later, the phone started to vibrate as messages started coming through. I opened the messages and scanned for Greg’s name. There wasn’t one. The sting of rejection came back to slap me in the face 10 fold. I stared at my phone screen, trying to blink away the sudden moisture gathering in my eyes. I swallowed back the lump that appeared in my throat as the text messages continued to gather.

“He’s an asshole and you deserve better,” Natasha’s firm voice broke through my thoughts.

I blinked rapidly a few times before I could look up. My shoulders slumped as I put my phone down. It shouldn’t hurt this much, but it really did. For once in my life I hadn’t second guessed what I was doing, I acted on what felt right at that moment. How could I have gotten it so wrong?

“Stop beating yourself up and come and give me a hug.” Natasha opened up her arms. “Gently. If I pop these stitches we’ll be stuck here for another week and I’ll kill you for that.”

I gave a very weak laugh and did as I was told. It was an awkward hug, neither of us wants to squeeze too hard because of our injuries. It was nearly time for the nightly painkillers, so no doubt Natasha was feeling as pained as I currently was.

“Did Gareth send you anything?” Natasha asked as we pulled away from our hug. I shrugged, mostly with one shoulder because my ribs were aching. I went back to my phone and pulled up the text messages. There were actually a few from Gareth, I scrolled back up through my phone and started on the oldest ones first.

_Have fun on your mission. Don’t break anything vital because I think you coming down here when you get home is a VERY good idea ;)_

_I’m not being clingy, I promise. But you did say a few days and it’s been a few days…..sooooo everything all right?_

That one was dated the day after our accident.

_Ok, I’m guessing this has gone a bit longer. Damn your job sucks that you can’t keep your phone on you._

_I’m making up random things that you could be doing. My favorite is that you single_ handedly _took down some really bad guys in a skin tight suit. Okay, I lied. I was mostly thinking about you in skin tight clothes more than anything else._

That one made me snort in contained laughter. Natasha looked up at me in question and I flipped the phone around to show her.

“See, you don’t need to feel like shit about Greg because you have someone else who is obviously interested,” Natasha pointed out with a smile. “If you need 5 minutes alone with him, I’ll disappear into the shower.”

I laughed properly this time and shook my head. I was in way too much pain to even think about anything sexy at the moment. I kept reading the messages from Gareth.

_So, now I’m starting to get_ proper _worried about you. I kind of hope I’ve pissed you off, but none of your messages are coming up as_ read _._

_I tried calling and it went straight to voicemail. Please, send me a text or something._

After nothing from Greg, it was a nice feeling that someone beyond my work circle was worried about me.

_Don’t hate me. But I kind of asked Sharpe to get in touch with your handler because I was really starting to worry about you. I am VERY glad you’re still alive. The rest of the injuries sound fucked though. How the hell did you manage to break your jaw? Get better soon. I will send a very gentle hug your way, so I don’t break anything else on you._

The last message was from earlier today. It made me smile, even though my face was aching. It was sweet that he cared enough to get Sharpe to ring Coulson. I turned the phone around again and showed Natasha the last few text messages. Her eyes followed the screen for a minute before she broke out into a grin.

“You need to go ride that man until you can’t walk properly,” Natasha said bluntly, turning back to her own phone. Hers had come a few days earlier and she’d been getting non-stop texts from Sam. “Give your ribs another 2 weeks and you should be good to go.”

That sounded like it was coming from personal experience. I’d definitely take her advice on that matter. Gareth’s stream of texts gave me a much needed ego boost. At least he gave a shit about me. I went straight to his message, it was mid morning back home. It would give him a nice surprise for the day.

_Boo ;) Guess who finally got her new phone? Thanks for checking in on me even though I couldn’t reply. If my face didn’t hurt so much I’d give you a kiss for it. Long story about the jaw. I’m still working on the whole speaking thing otherwise I would have called. I’m in Germany, hoping to be home by the end of the week._

I sent the message before I could second guess myself. Natasha was busy with her own phone so I started to go through the rest of the messages. Most of them were ‘Get Well’ messages from the various STRIKE guys I knew. Laura threatened to kill both Natasha and I for getting hurt again. Evans sent me a video of Alexi telling me to come home soon and kissing the phone screen. It took me an hour and a half to get around to replying to everyone. I was nearly ready to put my phone down and go to sleep when a text from Gareth came through.

_You’re alive!!!_ Its _good to hear from you. I’d ask how’s Germany but I’m assuming you haven't had much time to do sight seeing. I’m crazy busy today but I snuck into the toilet to give myself a few minutes of privacy to send this. I’m glad you’re okay and back online. I’ll talk to you_ more _later on._

The message made me smile some more. It was really nice to feel wanted. It helped take away the sting of Greg’s rejection. I’d leave my reply until later on when I wasn’t dead tired and aching. The timezone difference was going to be a pain in the ass. Natasha was gingerly reaching across to plug her own phone into the charger as I put mine up.

“Who?” I asked, taking a typing motion with my fingers.

“Sam mostly,” Natasha caught onto my meaning right away. “Then I was trying to persuade Jared to bring over more ice cream. He said no. What did Maning want to talk to you about?”

I grunted, reaching over for my iPad. That conversation was going to be far too long to try and speak. Natasha waited patiently while I typed my answer out and handed the iPad over to her. Natasha read it, her face impassive as her eyes scanned over the lines.

“Riley made sure you were looked after, didn’t he?” Natasha had a sad smile on her face when she finished reading. I gave her a wobbly smile and simply nodded. There weren’t any other words I could say to that. From making sure I could get somewhere safe, to making sure I’d never have to worry about money again, Riley covered it all.

“We can go for a trip there and plant some of your cash and ID’s if you want,” Natasha continued. “It’s a good idea to make sure your safe house has everything you need.”

I nodded again. I thought I’d learnt so much in the last year and a bit, but there was still things coming along and surprising me.

“Here’s hoping this road trip is less exciting,” I said dryly, wincing as my jaw really started to ache. The laugh I got from Natasha was worth the pain. It chased away a lot of the demons and angriness that had been consuming me since I woke up. It was good to feel wanted and to laugh again.

* * *

 

“It’s not the worst idea I’ve ever heard,” Natasha pointed out, handing my phone back to me.

I couldn’t stop my small noise of surprise at Natasha’s easy acceptance. Mom had just sent me a text message suggesting Natasha and I head to Grams’ ranch, instead of sticking around DC. I’d given in and said I’d go for Thanksgiving, so it wasn’t entirely unexpected Natasha would get an invite as well. I’d shown Natasha the message expecting her to decline the invitation immediately. Instead, she surprised the hell out of me by somewhat agreeing with my Mom. But there was something in her face that didn’t feel like she was being genuine with it though.

It was a few days after Maning’s visit and we’d been given the all clear to be discharged this afternoon. I’d finally got a doctor with half a brain in his head, realising there was no way in hell I was going to gain 5 pounds. Mom had been keeping me well supplied with my new seafood chowder pulverised into a liquid form. So I was eating well enough, which was the new doctor’s only concern.

“I’m going to be a pain in the ass hanging around Clint’s place, especially with his in-laws coming over next week.” Natasha picked up her bowl of breakfast cereal as she continued to speak. “I fucking hate Laura’s mother. The woman is still convinced Clint and I are sleeping together.”

The Wicked Witch of Kentucky was what Clint called his mother in law. Laura’s parents bred racehorses and lived right in the heart of bluegrass country. Apparently they were quite successful too. Beyond a few casual mentions, Clint never spoke of them. I was only getting the full story about it now. Laura’s parents hated Clint and always thought Laura could do better with her life than a lowly SHIELD agent. If only they knew how much of a legend Clint really was within SHIELD. It might change their tune. But from what Clint and Natasha had both told me about the in-laws, there was every chance it wouldn’t either.

“It’s a mad house,” I warned Natasha, poking my porridge slurry with my straw. It wasn’t the most appetising thing I’d ever eaten. But it was warm, kind of real food and I could easily suck it down with a straw.

“Like it isn’t a mad house at Clint’s?” Natasha said around her mouthful of cereal. She paused for a moment, to finish chewing and swallowing. “Besides, your Grams is a SHIELD legend. I’m honoured that considering my past, she’d even contemplate letting me anywhere near her house.”

That made me pause mid sip. I never thought about Natasha’s past or how people would have felt about her. I’d heard the stories of the old version of the Red Room Peggy Carter and Grams both encountered.

“Fury told me when I first joined that your Grams and Peggy Carter would probably both shoot him if they knew he was doing.” Natasha absently poked her cereal, looking lost in the memory. “Hazel even came out to where I was first being held to make sure I was being serious, that I wasn’t a spy sent by the Red Room. She scared me more than anyone ever had in my life.”

Natasha admitting she was scared of something wasn’t something you heard every day. It was odd though. To me Grams was my quick witted and sometimes sharped tongue grandmother. She spoiled me like any grandparent would a normal child. As painfully aware as I was about our family not being normal, my family dynamics were very normal. I got my ass spanked when I was a little shit. I got kisses and cuddles when I was a good girl. Grams read me bedtime stories and snuck me extra cookies after Dad said no more. There was never anything scary about Grams to me, but to other people I could see how terrifying she could be. Having your entire mind laid out before a total stranger able to pull your brain apart at whim. It wasn’t a pleasant thought.

“It wasn’t util 3 years later, she was doing a tour of the Triskelion with Peggy that I saw her again. All I got was a nod,” Natasha said with a small sigh. “It was all I needed to know she trusted me. But being invited to her house is a little mind blowing. Despite the invitation, I don’t know how welcome I would be.”

“My parents have a seperate house,” I slurred, reaching up to absently rub my face. The inside of my mouth was fucking itchy from the stitches finally dissolving. “If that helps.”

The original house was still the one Grams lived in. It’d been renovated and updated over the years, but it was still the original 4 bedroom layout. Instead of expanding the original house over the years as the family expanded, Grams decided to simply build another house for each of her children. It ended up being like a mini town, Grams had been quite productive in her younger years. I had 3 Uncles and 2 Aunts. Hence the ever increasing horde of cousins I had. Grandpa had died when I was young, so the family who weren’t involved in SHIELD helped run the ranch.

Natasha was silent as she pushed her cereal around the bowl. Her appetite seemingly vanished at the sudden change of heart about visiting. The dark circles under her eyes spoke more than words could. I’d be zonked out on painkillers last night so I didn’t hear her wake up. But she looked like she hadn’t been to sleep at all. I felt a stab of guilt for not being awake for Natasha when she needed me. I wondered why she’d suddenly changed her mind about coming with me. She said it herself that it wasn’t a bad idea. So why didn’t she want to come with me now?

“Nat?” I prompted her, watching her expression carefully. Something had been bothering her the last few days. But she wouldn’t talk to any of us about it. Clint tried to prod into it and got a snarling response in Russian so fast I could barely understand it. She’d told Clint to fuck off and mind his own business, in some much stronger words.

Natasha shook her head, picking up another spoonful of cereal and shoving it into her mouth. It was a very clear indication she didn’t want to talk about what was bothering her. Or about coming with me anymore. My heart fell at her sudden rejection. It was so unlike her. She usually told me everything. But right now she was closed off. It felt like I was talking to the Widow instead of Natasha.

“I’d be happy if you came with me.” I said, my voice was still slow but my pronunciation was getting better. It wasn’t a lie. It would be lonely despite the many people around me back on the ranch. Besides, hobbling around her own apartment wasn’t going to do Natasha any favours either. I decided to press my luck a little and added. “Please?”

Natasha’s face softened at my quiet, carefully formed words. She’d been chewing on the same mouthful of cereal for way longer than necessary. Whatever was going on in her head wasn’t going to be fun to sort through. But she’d been there for me more times than I could count. It was about time I could repay the favour.

“Fine.” Natasha swallowed her cereal, looking grouchy and defeated. “I am not cleaning up any cow shit though.”

I smiled at my little triumph. The only time I’d ever picked up cow shit was to fling it at someone. There were plenty of other things we could do to get into mischief though. The ranch was set on a few thousand acres. We could disappear for a few days quite easily if we wanted to.

“We can go shoot petrol filled cans,” I said, as casually as I could manage. I stuck the straw back in my porridge taking another sip. “We have a Dragunov in the armoury.”

The Russian sniper rifle’s name was so hard for me to pronounce, but it came out mostly legible. The gleam suddenly came back into Natasha’s eye at the mention of it.

“Your Grams has an armoury?”

All of a sudden, I had Natasha back, smiling and looking very eager about our new plans. It made me smile a little more. This holiday season was going to be a lot more fun than previous years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I know this was shorter than normal and a little bit slow. But there's some important set up in there for much later. Thanks for your patience while Uni is slowly killing me right now. I probably won't update until late August now, but thank you for your patience to all my readers sticking around!


	63. Chapter 63

It’d been a crazy few weeks on the ranch. But it was a good crazy. Grams knew how to keep Natasha and I, then Jared when he finally stuck around busy enough to keep our problems at bay. Even injured and aching, there was always something for us to do. Though Grams had banned us from any weapons for, much to my disgust. There was something very soothing about shooting cans full of petrol. Natasha’s grouchy mood turned into sleeping in my bed every night, but at least she was smiling again. She was still tight lipped about what was bothering her though and no amount of pushing was getting her to open up about it. Her nightmares frequently jolted me awake. The only reason she wasn’t sitting on the porch with me was because she overdid it today. A handful of painkillers with a glass of wine at dinner was enough to even knock Natasha out. She didn’t stir, even when I’d jolted awake from my dream, heart racing and covered in sweat. All I got was a grunt when I eased myself out of bed and came to sit out on the porch.

I sighed, staring out onto the frost covered fiends in front of me. My breath misted in front of me, making me pull the blanket I’d acquired off the couch a little tighter around me. It was then night before Thanksgiving. Or morning of. I hadn’t looked at the clock before I came out here. The weather had turned icy cold a few days before, threatening snow but delivering bucket loads of rain instead. It was no fun sloshing around in half frozen mud. But at least the rain had stopped tonight. The sky was crystal clear. Out here you could see thousands of stars blotted against the inky sky. There was no moon to shroud them either. It was breathtaking to look up and realise how many stars there really were. Somewhere in the distance, one of the potty calves mooed in frustration. There weren’t many of them, being the end of autumn. But feeding the orphaned calves had become one of Natasha’s favourite things. They were adorable, all legs and big pleading eyes anytime you went near their field, hoping for a drink or a pat. There were 3 of them at the moment, all girls, so I let myself get attached to them. At least they most likely wouldn’t end up as a steak.

I took a swig of beer through my straw. Though the ache in my jaw had settled to more tolerable levels, I was still 3 weeks away from getting my wires out. They itched and made the inside of my mouth bleed. Not even with braces on did my mouth ever hurt so much. I felt like a teenager again, packing the wires full of dental wax so I could give my sore mouth a chance to heal. Despite being kept busy, there was something very soothing about being here on the ranch. It held so many good memories. With those memories came remembering my visit with Riley last year.

There were times I’d have nightmares of Riley dying, over and over again. They were horrible and I’d wake up in a cold sweat with my heart pounding. But there were also good dreams of Riley that when I woke up almost felt like they should be a nightmare. It’s what I’d had earlier. I'd dreamt that instead of the contract for the house Riley brought us in his locker, it was an engagement ring. He was still alive and he’d proposed. The resulting sex dream after that had woken me up with a start. I’d been still half asleep, conscious of the body in my bed. When I rolled over, I thought Riley was there. But the feminine curves under my hands woke me up very quickly. It was a painful reminder of the person I’d lost and what could have been. I think I’d prefer the nightmares of Riley dying instead of something like that. It also made me have some crippling guilt about the contents in my phone right now.

It was still silent from Greg. Every time I saw his name in my phone, it was another slap in the face of rejection. But I couldn’t bring myself to delete his number yet. Gareth more than made up for it. He’d even asked me to come down for the Christmas dine in night for his work. It was the week before Christmas so my jaw would be unwired in time for it. I’d already said yes to it, pleased and flattered at the time. But after the dream I just had, I was second guessing my decision. My phone sat next to me and my fingers were already itching to make an excuse not to go. If it was the other way around, I was sure Riley wouldn’t be even considering sex with another person. It made me feel like I was betraying his memory just because my body was craving someone else touch.

“You’re awake awfully late, or is it early?” Mom’s voice made me jump, snapping me back to present times. She came out onto the porch, bundled in a big coat and carrying 2 steaming mugs.

“Early, I think.” My speaking was getting better with every passing day. Long conversations made my jaw ache, but I could finally manage well enough to not need the iPad with me at all times. I glanced at my phone, the screen lighting up briefly as I checked the time. 0415. Definitely early.

“Bad dream?” Mom asked, coming to sit besides me. She handed over the mug, before bringing her legs up to curl underneath her. I relinquished the grip on the blanket a little, so Mom could get some over her lap.

I sighed again, putting down my beer on the ground. No doubt I’d get an earful about drinking so early in the morning. The smell of hot chocolate and marshmallows wafted up to my nose. It was a lot more appetising than a cold beer anyway.

“Not exactly.” I took a sip of the hot chocolate. It made my eyes water at the taste of something alcoholic, I wasn’t expecting that. I looked at Mom in surprise.

“Baileys,” Mom said with a wry grin before I could ask. “You looked like you could do with a little extra. Its too cold to be drinking beer.”

I returned the smile, albeit more strained that Mom’s smile was. She could probably feel the sadness and guilt rolling off me in waves. She didn’t have to ask what was bothering me. All it took was a look from her and it was spilling out of my mouth.

“Sometimes the good dreams hurt way more than the bad ones,” I said sadly, my eyes fixed in my hot chocolate. The old wound had broken open again and my heart felt like it was physically breaking again. What if Riley really had been going to propose at dinner when we got back? Why was I even thinking these things? Riley was dead and buried in Arlington. No one found a ring so even if he was, it was a secret he took to the grave. I didn’t even know why I was sitting here contemplating it.

“Riley?” Mom asked, reaching over to squeeze my free hand. I nodded in confirmation, not trusting the sudden lump the appeared in my throat. “It’s okay to miss him.”

“Some days I miss him so much it hurts,” I said softly, looking up again over the frost covered fields. “Other days I feel like I’m putting the pieces of my life back together without him. Then I second guess myself about moving on.”

“There’s no expiration on your grief Kari.” Mom squeezed my hand again. “Riley wouldn’t want you to mourn forever. But you take things are your own pace and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.”

Taking things at my own pace had worked until the night before our mission. Then everything had blown up in my face. Now I had no idea what I was doing. Again. Sometimes I wished I’d never fallen for that shy smile in my first day at SHIELD. Maybe my life would have been easier without ever knowing Riley.

“Who was it?” Mom took a sip of hot chocolate, not missing a beat. I gave her a questioning look, hoping to throw off her line of questioning. I should have know better. She was far more intuitive than I ever gave her credit for. “Greg or Gareth? The one that hurt your feelings and made you doubt yourself.”

I should have known Mom would have clued on by now. How she knew about Gareth was beyond me though. I was very careful not to leave my phone lying around because Gareth was very unpredictable with what he was sending. He really wasn’t shy either.

“Greg,” I admitted, feeling my cheeks flame red. Here I was, 24 years old and I still couldn’t admit to my own mother about my sex life. “I…”

I trailed off, clearing my throat. I had no idea how to tell Mom what we’d been doing.

“Kari, honey, I know you aren’t a shy little virgin.” Despite the serious tone of the conversation, Mom’s eyes sparkled in humour. “Whatever you were about to say isn’t going to shock me.”

“Right.” The blush in my face didn’t diminish any. I don’t know why I was so embarrassed. It’s not like Greg and I had actually done anything. “I kissed him. He kissed back. I ended up half naked and then he freaked out and walked out without an explanation when I went for his pants.”

Mom went strangely silent. Her fingers tapped against the side of the mug as she looked like she was wrestling with something. Like me, Mom didn’t have a great poker face. She always spoke what was on her mind and never beat around the bush about anything.

“What?” The silence only lasted for 30 seconds, but I couldn’t help myself. I hated it when Mom knew something that I didn’t.

“It was a long 2 weeks while you were unconscious,” Mom’s quiet voice made me feel all kinds of guilty. She never spoke about it, but from the bits and pieces I knew from Natasha, it wasn’t a good time. “Greg was around a lot more because he had security clearance from his time in the Army. SHIELD nearly had him sleeping there until the other doctor’s clearances went through. We talked a lot. You know how bad your brother was.”

Mom trailed off, her fingers clenching around her mug tight enough that her knuckles went white. I could see her visibly swallow a few times before she managed to speak again. Her voice was strained, dropping to almost a whisper.

“There was one time where Jared nearly didn’t make it.” Mom’s eyes went unnaturally bright from unshed tears. “Greg was first on the scene and it was chaos. No one thought to tell us to get out while they tried to resuscitate him..”

I squeezed Mom’s hand as hard as I dared to as she spoke. Besides Natasha, no one ever told me how bad Jared had really been.

“The doctor’s worked on him for what seemed a lifetime,” Mom’s voice cracked. She sniffed, reaching up to wipe her nose with the crook of her elbow. My heart broke a little more seeing Mom look so vulnerable. “He was dead and the senior doctor asked if anyone objected if they stopped. Greg was the only one who did. But they gave him another minute. Next thing Jared sat up, flailing and how he did it I’ll never know, but he yanked his ventilator clear out.”

My own hand clutched at the mug of hot chocolate, I was sure it’d shatter under my hands. All those months ago Natasha told me Jared nearly didn’t make it, and the doctors nearly called it once. I had no idea it had actually been that bad though. Or that Greg was there.

“All Jared could say was ‘Riley sent me back’ over and over again.” Mom looked over at me with a heartbreakingly sad smile. “Then he fell unconscious again and stabilised completely once you were in the room. When I asked Jared about it, he could only remember Riley yelling at him to go back. Nothing else.”

“The brain shuts down and you hallucinate before you die,” I forced my voice to stay calm. Riley wasn’t religious and neither was I. I didn’t believe there was anything after you died. I forced down the bigger lump in my throat thinking about what Mom had just said. It was impossible. The shattered pieces of my broken heart chipped away a little more even considering it. “Jared’s brain was going haywire from lack of oxygen. Nothing more.”

“Or someone is watching over you,”Mom countered gently. She swirled the hot chocolate around in the mug, her eyes dropping down while she looked like she was gathering her thoughts. “After everything I’ve seen in my life, what powers people can have, an afterlife where your loved ones watch over you isn’t such a crazy idea.”

It really wasn’t. I knew a girl who could send people back in time. But having a guardian angel, or whatever you wanted to call it sounded far fetched for my mind. If I couldn’t see it, feel it or touch it, I had problems believing it existed. I was very much like Dad in that way, its probably where I got it from.

“So, that of course lead to questions about who Riley was.” Mom blew out a soft breath. It misted in front of her, hanging in the air for a few seconds. “From Greg mostly. I told him and didn’t think anything of it until I caught on he was attracted to you a few weeks later.”

How the hell could Greg even be the slightest bit attracted to me while I was in hospital? It was months ago but I remembered how terrible I looked and felt for those months afterwards.

“I may have confronted him about it.” Despite her careful choice of words, Mom didn’t look the least bit embarrassed about it. I gave her an incredulous look, which she brushed off right away. “Alexi will have boyfriends one day and you’ll be doing the exact same thing.”

That made me smile, it was true. I couldn’t fault Mom for that. I was her baby girl, even at 24. Nothing was ever going to change that. I knew she’d given Riley the shovel talk while we were in Afghanistan. He’d shown me the email and I’d laughed my ass off about it for 2 minutes straight.

“The only thing Greg is confident about in his life is his job, that he’s a good doctor, and he is,” Mom said, looking up to meet my eyes. I couldn’t dispute that. Even Laura had good things to say about Greg at work. “Do you know why he left the Army?”

“Natasha said he got discharged because of PTSD,” I said with a nod. Natasha snooping came in handy sometimes.

“From the little bits and pieces I put together, it took him a long time to put his life back together. It’s why he threw himself into his studies and became a doctor,” Mom said with a small sigh. “When I confronted him about it, he told me the attraction would never be returned. He couldn’t ever measure up to someone like Riley and he’d only disappoint you. It’s why he’d never act on it but he could be your friend if you wanted him.”

Well, that put a new perspective on things. Natasha’s comment about him hesitating made so much sense now. I didn’t know whether to feel sorry for Greg for thinking so little of himself, or still be mad about him not explaining himself at the time. He was smart, good looking and went out of his way to make me feel special, like making me that ice cream. He had a good job and on the outside had his life completely in control.

“He still hurt my feelings by not calling.” I couldn't keep the hurt out of my voice. Being mad was easier than feeling sorry for him. “He didn’t have to kiss back, or pull my clothes off. He said he’d talk when we were sober and I was definitely not drunk.”

I huffed out an angry sigh.I couldn’t get it out of my head how good it felt right up until he freaked out and left without an explanation. Maybe there wasn’t anything beyond him not wanting to be my rebound fuck. God knows some guys had delicate egos like that. I just didn’t pick Greg to be like that.

“I wasn’t there, I can’t tell what was going on in his head.” Mom gave me a sympathetic smile. “Maybe he did call, but because your phone was off you didn’t get it?”

“Maybe.” I looked at my phone, the anger leaving as quickly as it came on. There was nothing stopping me sending him a text, except my hurt pride. “It doesn’t matter now. It’ll only be awkward between us.”

I was mourning the loss of friend, as well as being hurt by rejection. I really enjoyed the friendship between Greg and I. We had fun together and there was never any expectations. We met up when we could. Neither of us got angry if the other was busy. He was a breath of fresh air in my life, someone outside of the military and SHIELD.

“So who’s Gareth and what’s going on between you two?”

I should have known that question was coming. It still surprised me though. The Bailey’s spiked hot chocolate was giving me a little bit of courage to talk to Mom about this.

“He’s from my old work,” I said carefully. “We started talking after I did that demo in the F-35. He invited me down to the Christmas dine in night in December.”

“And are you going to go?” Mom asked. She was trying her best to keep her curious tone out of her voice.

“I thought I was and now I’m not so sure.” My shoulders slumped a little. I was so confused. My next question fell out of my mouth before I could stop it. “Am I betraying Riley’s memory by wanting sex with someone else?”

“Sweetie, no.” Mom reached over and gave me a gentle hug. It was an awkward embrace between both of us trying to juggle the hot chocolate. Mom sat back, taking my free hand again, squeezing it hard. “I know there is no delicate way of putting this. But Riley is dead and he isn’t coming back. You have a long life ahead of you and there’s going to be a point in your life when you need to take another step forward You can’t dwell in the past forever. I know you miss him, but there’s no shame in missing sex either.”

That sounded awkward coming from my Mom. She didn’t look the least but perturbed though. I was more embarrassed about the question actually coming out of my mouth. She was right though. Only I could decide what I wanted to do.

“I hate this,” I said with another heavy sigh. I watched the droplets of my breath caught in the freezing air in front of me before I continued. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Go to the dine in night with Gareth,” Mom suggested. “But don’t stay at his place. Get your own room somewhere so you have the option to decline if you don’t feel comfortable on the night. You said before you loved catching up with your old Squadron. Go, have fun with your old friends. There’s no pressure to do anything else you don’t want to.”

It was such a simple solution. I mentally smacked myself for not thinking of it earlier.

“Thank you.” I reached over and gave Mom a hug. It was advice I’d heard before, but coming from Mom it made me feel less guilty. It might have been her subtly using her powers, but I was feeling a lot better than when I first came out here. It’d been an emotional rollercoaster, but I was feeling a little more at peace with myself.

“I’m always here if you need me.” Mom hugged me back. “Always. I’m sorry what happened with you and Greg.”

“Me too.” My voice was muffled in her shoulder. “Losing a friend sucks.”

“Maybe send him a text?” Mom suggested gently as we untangled. She gave me a soft smile. “It won’t hurt. Get some sleep though. You know how crazy today can get.”

Mom got up, dropping a kiss on the top of my head as she went. She drained the last of her hot chocolate and left me alone with my thoughts once again. I looked down at my silent phone, pondering what Mom had just said. My hand reached for my phone, my cold fingers stiff against the cool glass screen as I unlocked it. I brought a new message up with Greg’s name. Butterflies erupted in my stomach as I stared at the blank message.

What would I say to him? A greeting would work, but it also came across as desperate. Telling him I knew why he didn’t want to go any further with me was a way too bold. Like Mom said, she wasn’t there. So it was only an assumption that it was the real reason why he rejected my advances. The longer I stared at the blank message, the more the butterflies grew. I could do this. I was a grown ass adult and could deal with a communication fuck up between friends. I’d drive myself insane if I didn’t fix this.

But I was also the worlds biggest chicken when it came to shit like this. I shut my phone without typing out anything. I’d do it later. Maybe I’d wait until I went back to DC so we could talk about it in person. Getting up, I nodded to myself. Yep, that was a good plan. I could definitely put this off for another 2 weeks before I went back to DC. Mom wasn’t wrong about today was going to get crazy. I’d need all the sleep I could get.

I finished my hot chocolate and went back inside. My eyes were heavy and I couldn’t stop yawning as I dragged myself to my bedroom. Natasha looked like she hadn’t moved since I left her earlier on. I crawled in beside her, enjoying that the bed was still warm. My eyelids tugged down on their own and I was out like a light.

Thanksgiving was always a crazy affair and this year was looking to be no different. I woke up mid morning and was instantly roped into helping set up for dinner. This year I got out of any physical work, like setting up the marquee that we all ate under. But it left me with the more boring ones, like folding napkins and putting out cutlery. Mom promised me she’d been able to make most of the food into a liquid form so I wouldn’t miss out of anything. Blended pumpkin pie wasn’t going to be the same, but it wasn’t like I could be fussy about what was given to me. Mom had gotten really good about making food drinkable. It turns out with enough gravy and stock, you could even make meat into a drinkable form. It sounded disgusting, but it was real food. Something I appreciated at the moment.

Natasha got her first real taste of how big and insane my extended family was. As all the family started to pour in through the afternoon, Natasha stuck closer and closer to my side. It was an hour before dinner would be served and she’d been glued to me, even though I had the boring job of folding napkins.

“How many fucking cousins do you have?” Natasha muttered under her breath in Russian. She’d just been introduced to my cousin Alex and his wife. Alex was only 6 months older than Jared and I, so while he was in a grade above us in school, we grew up fairly close. Alex worked in SHIELD in New York as a behavioural analyst. I had no idea what he actually did as one of those. The job description went way over my head. His wife, Rosemarie worked as a photographer. What she photographed was beyond me though. I thought she was a stuck up bitch, but in her defence, I’d only ever met her at family gatherings. I don’t think I’d ever had a conversation with her.

“Way too many,” I replied, in the same language as I handed Natasha a handful of folded napkins. We’d been handing off some of the tasks to my younger cousins. Well, second and third cousins, I think. I really had no idea most of the time. But most of them had disappeared now. A small horde of children under 10 had gathered and were causing a ruckus. Looking at the younger ones made me miss Alexi. Jared had brought her out a few times while we’d been here. But I hadn’t seen her all this week. She would have loved being in charge of the mass of children.

“$50 says Rosemarie announces she’s pregnant at dinner,” Natasha raised her voice, but kept speaking Russian. “She has the smug pregnant look about her and can’t stop touching her stomach.”

My line of sight followed Natasha’s gaze to my cousin’s wife. Natasha was right. Rosemarie was talking to my Mom, her hand always coming up to touch her stomach. Alex looked smugly proud of something too. I wrinkled my nose at the scene. This family really needed to stop breeding so much.

“$100 Jared says something inappropriate about it.” I looked around to find my twin. He was very good at disappearing when there was work to be done. He wasn’t very fond of Rosemarie either. I couldn’t see him anywhere. Not that it was a surprise. He could have teleported to Paris to avoid helping set up for all I knew. I wouldn’t put it past him either. He’d done that one year, but at least he brought back some good wine.

Natasha snickered and held out her hand.

“Done.” Natasha shook my head with a smug smile. Jared better come through with being obnoxious otherwise I’d take the $100 off him. “Have you heard from Barton today?”

“Nope.” I abandoned my napkin folding to look at my phone. It had been silent except for a few texts from Gareth. I looked again but there was nothing from Clint. Scrolling through my texts, I hadn’t gotten anything from him in the last 2 days. He was either spamming me with texts, or completely silent. There was no in-between with Clint. From what he’d been saying, home life wasn’t fun with the in-laws around.

“I wonder if he’s killed his mother in law and has gone off grid to hide her body,” Natasha said, almost sounding completely serious about it. “Maybe that’s where Jared has gone as well.”

I put my hand over my mouth to cover my laughter. Poor Clint. From the last few texts I’d gotten from him, his mother in-law was driving him insane. Apparently his father in-law wasn’t much better. Clint was counting down the seconds until they left.

“Coulson said he was keeping him busy,” I said, picking up another napkin to fold. Grams wanted a swan shape this year and I had to admit they were kind of pretty. “Here’s hoping he’s keeping him out of trouble as well.”

I felt bad for Clint. He’d been stuck with Natasha and mine’s shitty moods while we were in Germany. Now he was home dealing with in-laws who hated him. He couldn’t catch a break. Natasha snorted and shook her head. She didn’t need to voice what she was thinking. Nothing would keep Clint out of trouble. He was so lucky Mom took the blame for the Quinjet incident. Otherwise SHIELD might just execute him for the trouble he caused. At least Clint wasn’t the one blowing up half a city. Jared still had that dubious honour.

“Is there anything I need to watch out for?” Natasha’s tone turned serious, as she lowered her voice.

There was a lot more in that question that Natasha’s didn’t voice. She really didn’t have to. 95% of my family were SHIELD and while she was a legend in STRIKE, there were a lot of people who still didn’t like or trust her. No one in my family sprung to mind. Even before I knew Clint and Natasha, they were spoken of highly amongst my family. It was a little surreal Natasha was actually here with me, folding napkins this Thanksgiving. It’d only been 2 years ago when she was spoken about like a myth.

“Don’t get drunk because your thoughts will get really loud when you drink,” I joked, sending Natasha a reassuring smile. I wasn’t used to this. It was always the other way around. Natasha was the one to reassure me. Or boss me around.

“Noted,” Natasha said dryly, but there was a small smile on her face. “Thanks for persuading me to come out here. It really has been fun.”

It had been. We’d been too busy to wallow much on what happened to us. While the farm work might not have been the best for our physical health, it did wonders for our mental health. Even Andrew had made the comment in his last email that I sounded like I was doing well after a fucked up mission.

“I’m glad you’ve enjoyed it.” I smiled back at my best friend. “You’ve been away far too much this year. I’ve missed you a lot.”

“It’s been a crazier year than normal,” Natasha said, pursing her lips as she looked out over the chaos around us. “At least this is a much happier story than what I thought was going to happen. I never said thank you for getting us off that cliff.”

“You don’t need to.” I unconsciously reached up and rubbed my jaw. Natasha was right that things could have been much worse. “I have no idea how I did it.”

“STRIKE Team Delta.” Despite the emotional topic, Natasha shot me a grin. “That’s the only explanation you ever need. I can’t remember how Barton and I got out of Budapest alive either. But we did.”

I’d never heard the full story of what happened on the infamous Budapest mission. It was spoken around the locker room like a ghost story. But no one besides Natasha, Clint and Coulson knew the full story. It was a level 7 mission, so I hadn’t been clued in on it yet. It drove me nuts not knowing exactly what went on.

“I will get the full story of Budapest out of you one day,” I said with a small grumble, but I smiled anyway.

“One day.” The secretive smile on Natasha’s face drove me a little insane. I hated that knowing smile she was giving me. I was cut off by any comeback by Mom hollering at me to go find my brother. Luckily for me, Jared was only hiding in his room and he didn’t argue when Natasha and I found him.

Dinner was a crazy, noisy affair as always. True to Mom’s word, she managed to have most things in a liquid form for me. The turkey and gravy smoothie she’d made was actually really good. The mashed potatoes were soft enough I could very carefully maneuver them in the gap in my back teeth and eat like a normal person. With a little encouragement from Jared, Natasha soon loosened up and joined in the conversation. As predicted, Rosemarie announced her pregnancy before dessert came out. Natasha’s smug look was quickly wiped off her face when Jared piped up and asked if Rosemarie knew who the father was. If there wasn’t a rule about no powers at the table, I’m sure Jared would have had something very unpleasant happen to him. While Rosemarie wasn’t Enhanced, Alex’s power was he could make a force field. He mostly liked to use it to make things explode or pick up things within the field and dump them on people’s heads. He’d done it more times than I could count to both of us while growing up. I’m sure he’d take great pleasure in dumping something unpleasant on Jared for his snarky comment. Even Mom kicked him under the table for the rude comment.

I was thoroughly stuffed, thanks to Mom’s skill with a blender by the time dinner was finished. It was a tradition to have a bonfire afterwards. Most of the kids were in the stages of going to bed, so the adults drank. Jared surprised me by producing one of my good bottles of scotch from our apartment, and one of Natasha’s favourite vodkas. It was relaxing to sit around the fire, enjoying a good drink and listen to the conversation go on around us. As much as I warned people about how crazy my family could be, it was still my family. I was glad I could include Natasha in the crazy world of mine I kept hidden away. She was my family too. She deserved to have more people care and love her, just like I did.

It was midnight before I dragged myself to bed. Natasha and Jared were still up, though they’d retreated to the warmth of the lounge room. They were curled up on the couch together, watching Alien and I was not having any part in that. My dreams were vivid enough without adding things exploding out of my chest to my imagination. Despite the rocky start, it had been an amazing day. I was out like a light as soon as my head hit the pillow.

I woke up for no reason. One second I was asleep and the next I jolted awake. It was pitch black in my room and for a second I felt disorientated. The bed next to me was empty, despite the clock next to me reading 0330. Something felt wrong. I knew it wasn’t Natasha missing out of my bed. But I didn’t know what the hell it was. I got up, pulled on a clean pair of clothes and stuck my head out of the bedroom. The entire house was quiet. The only sounds were the creak of my footsteps and someone snoring from another bedroom. I held my breath and stood still, straining to hear for anything out of the ordinary. But there was still nothing. I rubbed my face tiredly and turned around. It was probably a weird dream that I didn’t remember. I was about to climb into bed when I noticed a flashlight coming from Grams house across the ours.

Pulling on a thick coat, I grabbed my phone. I hesitated for half a second before reaching into the bedside table. There was a standard issue Glock in there. Natasha had put it in there when we first arrived. It was her safety net. She had trouble sleeping unless she had a weapon within easy reach. I was glad for it now. The grip felt unfamiliar in my hand but it was better than nothing. I was out the door and halfway out the front door before I thought about waking anyone else up. In my hesitation, the figure with the torch got closer.

“Kari, it’s only me.” Grams’ voice carried across the quiet night. “I’m sorry to wake you but I need your help. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

I relaxed instantly, a shuddering breath leaving my throat. Grams came into view a second later, carrying a torch. I could barely make her out bundled under all the layers of clothes she had on. I looked outside a little closer and wasn’t surprised to find a snow falling. The flurries were coming in thick and fast, leaving a decent dusting on the ground.

“What’s up?” I asked, feeling my heart slow down to a normal rate. No wonder I jolted awake with such a fright. Grams using her powers to wake someone up was never fun, no matter how gently she tried to do it.

“Jump on the quad bike and head down the driveway,” Grams instructed in a firm voice. “Don’t hesitate, just go.”

What the actual fuck? I wanted to stand there and argue, but I knew better. Zipping my jacket up, I nodded and was on the quad bike, racing down the driveway in less than a minute. Behind me, the lights in my parents house started to turn on. The ice cold wind whipped around my face as I sped down the gravel road. The actual driveway was 2 and a half miles long before you got to the road. It ran along the highway, so it wasn’t completely off grid. But we were very secluded out here. No one in their right mind would think about robbing us.

A figure loomed in the darkness a mile up the road, walking straight down the driveway. Whoever it was walked along with purpose. They were my height and very well built. I came to a skidding stop, reaching around to pull the Glock out of the waistband of my pants. The headlights of the quad bike did nothing to illuminate their face. Whoever it was had a hoodie pulled around their head, obscuring their face in the shadows.

“Not the best place to rob,” I called out, flicking the safety off. Grams sure knew how to make me feel useful by sending me down here to kick a robbers ass. “Hands up where I can see them.”

“Kari?”

I nearly dropped the Glock in surprise at the sound of Clint’s voice. Had I just imagined it?

“Clint?” I scrambled off the quad bike, nearly tangling my feet up as I hit solid ground. I abandoned the Glock in favour for running towards him. My feet skidded across the mud as I ran towards him as fast as my still broken ribs would let me. “What are you doing here?”

The closer he came, I could finally make out his face. Clint looked exhausted. His eyes were sunken and hollow. Even in the shitty light I could see how pale he was. He was sporting a few days of beard growth as well, something nearly unheard of for him. As soon as he got within arms reached he collapsed into my body. I wrapped my arms around him, staggering to support both our weight. As soon as we touched, Clint’s body heaved like he was trying not to cry. He threw his arms around me, clinging to me like I was the only thing keeping him alive right now.

Clint buried his head into my shoulder, his choked voice saying something that I couldn’t make out. His body heaved a few more times as he took in long shaking breaths. I was so stunned, it took me a few seconds to try and piece this all together. The way my ribs were hurting, I was very sure this wasn’t a dream. But what was Clint doing here?

“What are you doing here?” I tried again, trying to untangle Clint from me. I wasn't successful at all. It only made him cling onto me even harder. I couldn’t hear a word he had just said. “Clint, talk to me.”

“She left me.”

“What?” There was no way I’d heard him correctly. Did Clint really just say Laura had left him?

“Laura. She took the kids and left me.”

It was like a dam breaking. The heaves stopped and Clint broke down sobbing. His entire weight fell on me, like he was too exhausted to hold himself up any longer. We both crashed to the ground in an ungraceful tangled of limbs. I held onto Clint while he sobbed in my arms. He felt like he was breaking apart in front of me. There was nothing I could do or say to fix this. So I did what he did for me all those months ago when my life shattered in front of me. I held onto him and let him fall apart in my arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know I wasn't going to update for a few weeks, but I forgot I had a lot of this pre-written. I found out while I was procrastinating about doing actual work.
> 
> So here we are! Things are not going well for the team, are they? Thank you for your comments and kudos everyone. I don't always get a chance to reply to everyone, but I definately read them all the comments!


	64. Chapter 64

I trudged down to the kitchen still half asleep. The house was silent, despite it being late morning. But after our surprise visitor at the wee hours of this morning, I wouldn’t be surprised if everyone was still in bed.

After the shock of finding Clint and his news, I had to drag him onto the quad bike with me. When we got to the house everyone was awake. Mom had quickly cut off any line of questioning from any of us, ordering Clint into the shower and straight to bed. Natasha, Jared and I all ended up in the spare room with him. Natasha and I squished in the bed with Clint and Jared on the floor. Clint was passed out the second his head hit the pillow, leaving us all dying for answers but not getting any. When I woke up, Jared was nowhere to be seen and it took a lot of effort to get Clint off me. He’d wrapped around me during the night in a tight grip. But he didn’t stir even with my contortionist routine to get out of his grip. Natasha was still snoring beside him despite the noise and movement of me getting out of bed.

“Morning.” Jared’s voice made me jump. I rubbed my eyes to see him sitting at the table, nursing a cup of coffee.

I grunted in response as I made my own coffee. While the Keurig was brewing, I took a bigger than normal dose of painkillers. My jaw wasn’t feeling too bad this morning, but Clint’s killer grip throughout the night was a reminder that my ribs weren’t healed yet.

“Barton still asleep?” Jared asked as I plonked down in the chair across from him.

I nodded wearily, sticking a straw into my coffee. From not sleeping well the night before, to the drama this morning, I was really feeling the lack of sleep today.

“Did you know things were that bad between him and Laura?” Jared asked with a furrowed brow. “I know she was fucking pissed after Pripyat, but I thought they worked through it.”

“Me too.” I took a long drink of coffee. “Any idea what set it off?”

Jared shrugged, looking as lost as I felt about the entire situation. It was completely out of the blue. Everything looked normal every time I went around there. Like Jared, I thought they’d worked through everything that happened after Pripyat.

“Maybe it’s just a blow up and when things calm down it’ll be all right?” Jared suggested, though his voice lacked conviction.

I gave him a half smile, my heart not feeling into making wild assumptions this early in the morning. Whatever had happened must have been bad for Laura to up and leave with the kids.

“You look tired,” I changed subjects. Speculation wouldn’t do us any good. We’d have to be patient for once in our lives and wait until Clint got up and told us the full story.

“Yeah, nightmares again.” Jared let out a quiet sigh. “Fucking Yelena messing with my head again. Why do you look so tired?”

“You mean besides the abrupt awakening last night?” I skirted around the real subject of why I was tired. What Mom told me on Thanksgiving morning was still fresh in my mind. I didn’t want to believe there could be a sliver of truth in it. The thought of Riley watching over us and keeping my idiot brother out of trouble, even in death, made my heart ache all over again.

“Yeah and the reason you were sitting out on the porch yesterday morning.” Jared didn’t miss a beat. By the look on his face, he wasn’t being a snoop, he looked genuinely concerned about me not sleeping. It was also his subtle way of saying he didn’t want to talk about his nightmares.

“Just weird dreams.” I fought back a sigh. It wasn’t right to be calling those dreams of Riley a nightmare. But they stirred up far too many old feelings. “I was having a bit of a Riley moment.”

Jared didn’t say anything. He really didn’t need to. He scooted his chair over next to me and put an arm around my shoulders, gently squeezing me.

“He’d be very proud of you,” Jared said softly, dropping a gentle kiss on my forehead. “Never, ever doubt that.”

“I know.” I closed my eyes, enjoying the hug from my brother. Despite our differences, I loved the big idiot. But on the subject of Riley, I couldn’t help but turn my mind back to what Mom said. I decided to be brave and confront him about what Mom told me. I’d drive myself nuts otherwise. “Mom told me about what you said when you nearly died.”

Jared stiffened against me. For a few seconds, he didn’t move, not even a breath stirred in his body. I opened my eyes to look over at him. He had his eyes closed, his face twisted like he was caught in a painful memory. I waited patiently, he’d either talk or he’d shut himself off. Jared let out a long sigh as he opened his eyes. His grip on my shoulders tightened momentarily before he started to speak.

“I barely remember anything to be honest.” Jared’s arm dropped off my shoulders and his gaze went firmly to the wall opposite us. The muscles in his jaw clenched before he continued. “I remember you coming into the room and me telling Yelena she was fucked.”

I shuddered in horror at that memory. It still haunted me in my dreams walking in on Jared being tortured. The image was burnt into my mind and there was no erasing it.

“I vaguely remember Natasha standing above me,” Jared said with a small sigh. A strained smile came onto his face. “I was so fucking high on whatever drugs Yelena gave me, I thought she was an angel.”

“Angel of death maybe,” I said with my own strained smile. I remembered that look Jared was giving Natasha far too well. It was the same way Riley looked at me when he knew he was dying and there was nothing we could do.

“I remember trying to teleport,” Jared’s voice dropped, his gaze looking distant and far away. “But no matter what I did, I couldn’t do it. Whatever she gave me fucked with me so bad. But right before I passed out completely it felt like something slapped me across the face and all of a sudden I had enough focus and I could teleport. I have no idea how or why we ended up at the hospital.”

“That sounds vaguely familiar,” I murmured, “I have no idea how I got Natasha and I off that cliff a few weeks ago.”

“It’s a common theme isn’t it?” Jared blew out a long breath. “I don’t really remember anything, to be honest. I don’t remember what happened after we teleported. I’d get impressions, just blurs of noise and colour occasionally but I can tell you that it's bullshit about the white light at the end of the tunnel.”

I flinched at Jared’s brutal honesty. But this is what I got for asking. If he was talking about it, Jared wasn’t going to hold anything back.

“I don’t know if it was a dream or what it was.” Jared swallowed heavily. “Even now it doesn’t feel real. But I swear on everything I loved and hold sacred that Riley was there. He punched me in the face and called me a fucking idiot.”

“Good, you deserved that.” Tears welled in my eyes, despite the small chuckle. That’s exactly what Riley would have done to Jared for the stupid stunt he pulled.

“I know.” Jared gave me a wry smile but his face quickly turned serious again. “He told me to go back, that you needed me more than ever right now. The next thing I knew I woke up with my chest feeling like it was being crushed and gagging on the ventilator.”

I let out a long shuddering breath. It sounded impossible. But Jared would never lie to me, especially about something like this. I couldn’t wrap my head around it all. It made no sense and perfect sense all at the same time. It also made the ache of missing Riley feel like it was a hole in my chest a mile wide again. I swallowed back the lump in my throat, closing my eyes briefly. I felt Jared reach over and his arms pulled around me. I let him pull me into his body for a hug.

“I never told you because I didn’t want to upset you,” Jared murmured into my hair. “I barely believe it myself. Maybe it was my brain going nuts from lack of oxygen. Maybe we have a guardian angel, I don’t know.”

“Me either.” I hugged Jared back. “I’m glad you’re still here though.”

If Jared had died after Pripyat, I don’t know if I would have been able to pick up the pieces again. I didn’t even want to think about it. Shuffling footsteps coming into the kitchen made me open my eyes and look over Jared’s shoulder. It was Clint.

“Hey,” I said, giving him a gentle smile. “Want a coffee?”

Clint nodded as he sank into the first free chair. He still looked like shit but at least he’d showered and slept a little. I moved to get up, but Jared beat me to it. For the first time in our friendship, I felt very awkward in Clint’s presence. I had no idea what to say. The silence stretched out over the kitchen while I fiddled with my coffee. Clint sat in his chair, looking out of the kitchen widow and seemed miles away. He even jumped when Jared put the coffee mug in front of him. Something I’d never seen before.

“Thanks,” Clint’s voice was still hoarse. It reminded me of the times I’d cried myself to sleep after losing Riley. Sometimes I’d have no voice in the morning either.

“Mom and Dad have gone to the airport to get Coulson,” Jared said as he sat in his own chair again. “They won’t be far away by now.”

Mom rang Coulson as soon as Clint was in the shower last night. It took all of her persuasion to wait until morning and get on a plane instead of getting in his car and driving here right away. Poor Coulson, from the snatches I could hear of the conversation he was out of his mind with worry. He had no idea anything had gone wrong and had been enjoying his Thanksgiving with Audrey.

Clint nodded, taking a sip of his coffee. His gaze went from looking out the window down to the table. I reached across, taking his free hand in my own and gave it a comforting squeeze. His own squeeze back was barely there, like it was too much energy for him to muster.

“Sorry for barging in,” Clint’s voice was so soft, I had to strain to hear him. “I didn’t know where else to go.”

Clint’s soft words broke my heart a little. Besides Coulson, Natasha, Jared and I, Clint didn’t have anyone else. We were his family and I hated that I couldn’t be there for him when he needed it the most.

“You certainly made an entrance,” Jared said, trying to put some humour into the situation. It didn’t work. There wasn’t even a quirk on Clint’s face as he stared at the table. “Do you want some breakfast?”

Clint shook his head. The kitchen fell into silence again as the three of us drank our coffee. I felt awkward as I kept glancing over to Jared, trying to mentally urge him to do something about this. He was the better person at smoothing things over, not me. I never knew what to say or do and this was one of those situations I didn’t want to make any worse. Jared gave me a small, helpless looking shrug looking as lost as I felt.

Natasha saved us a minute later, walking into the kitchen looking in desperate need of a coffee. Jared quickly sprung to his feet, looking grateful to have something to do as Natasha slid into the chair next to me. Unlike Jared and I, Natasha had no problems breaking the awkward silence.

“I’d start talking right about now Barton,” Natasha said with an unpleasant scowl on her face. “Because what in the actual fuck?”

Even Jared flinched at Natasha’s harsh tone. She could be such a bitch when she felt like it. Despite her tone, she looked very worried. The silence stretched over the kitchen as we all looked to Clint. He went paler than before, his shoulders drooped and he looked very small and child like.

“Laura’s taken the kids and gone to live in the old place on her parent's farm,” Clint’s voice was hoarse and quiet. “She wants a divorce.”

“But why?” Natasha pressed, her brow furrowing in confusion.

“Me missing Lila’s birthday was the last straw in a long list of offences I’ve had lately,” Clint’s voice trembled as he spoke. “I’m a shit father and an even worse husband.”

“Hey.” I reached across the table, gripping Clint’s hand again. “You are not a shit father.”

Lila’s birthday was the day Natasha and I went over the cliff in Odessa. Her present I’d bought at a street vendor somewhere in Armenia was lost in the wreckage of the car. I’d promised Laura I would buy her extra Christmas present to make up for it. It hadn’t even occurred to me that Clint dropped everything on his daughter’s birthday to be with us.

“Apparently I am,” Clint said miserably. He heaved out a big sigh before looking up again. His eyes were red and no one could miss the dark circles under them. “I put SHIELD before everything, even my own family.”

That wasn’t an unusual occurrence in jobs like ours. While most people joked about STRIKE being the biggest single population in SHIELD, a lot of that was due to the insanely high divorce rate as well. There’d been two divorces in Bravo team since I knew them all. The numbers for some of the other teams had to be higher.

“Laura knew you were SHIELD when she met you, she knew what kind of life she was getting into.” Natasha sounded like she was picking her words very carefully. “Why is it such a problem now?”

Clint sighed heavily as he leant forward and put his head in his hands. For a moment I thought there might be tears again. But Clint closed his eyes and took in a few long and deep breaths before looking up again.

“Because of everything that’s happened this year,” Clint said hoarsely, looking utterly miserable. “I haven’t been around when my family needed me the most. I kept secrets from my wife and she doesn’t want to be around it anymore. Or me.”

Beside me, Jared squirmed uncomfortably. It wasn’t hard to put it together that Pripyat was coming back to bite him in the ass. Again. Even Natasha was speechless as she stared at Clint, her mouth moving a few times but no words came out. I couldn’t think of anything to say either. I knew they’d been arguing and what Clint said to Laura after Pripyat was harsh, but they seemed to be working through things. Not long as we’d come home from New Mexico, Clint had the biggest hickey I had ever seen on his neck and a smug grin that couldn’t be wiped off his face for 2 days.

“How did this come up?” Natasha switched tactics. “I know it’s been a little rocky the last few months, but you two seemed to have your shit together.”

“I, ah….” Clint trailed off, his ears going bright red. “I took a quick mission the other day. The night before Thanksgiving. Rumlow asked me because his guy had already gone home for the holidays.”

No wonder he’d been quiet the last few days. I closed my eyes and tried not to sigh. I could see exactly where this was going. Next to me, Jared visibly cringed and I’m sure our expressions were identical.

“And it went later than you anticipated,” Natasha finished for him. She shot him a pitying look. “The straw that broke the camel’s back?”

“Yep.” Clint swallowed hard. He reached up, rubbing his nose on the sleeve of his sweatshirt. “The Quinjet meant to pick me up had engine trouble and it took ages for the replacement to come and get me. I didn’t get home in time for dinner. I couldn’t even let Laura know I was going to be late because my phone died.”

Poor Clint. He had the worst luck in the world sometimes. It just had to be on Thanksgiving without anyone there to help him out.

“When I got back she already had her bags packed, her parents had already taken the kids,” Clint’s voiced wobbled dangerously and his face fell. “Even Lucky was gone.”

That was enough to crumple even Natasha’s cool facade. She was the closest and got to Clint first, wrapping him up in her arms. She murmured soothing words to him in Russian as Clint struggled with his emotions in her embrace.

“I tried,” Clint’s could barely get the words out through his choked voice. “I tried so fucking hard to make this work and I just fucked it up in the end. Everything I touch turns to shit, it always has.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Natasha said softly, rubbing circles around Clint’s back. “We’ll work this out Clint. It’s going to be all right.”

The sound of a car pulling up at the front made me look up. It was my parent's car. I could just make out Coulson sitting in the front seat next to Dad.

“Coulson’s here,” I announced rather unnecessarily. Everyone would have heard the car pull up even if they didn’t acknowledge it. Clint nodded, pulling himself away from Natasha. He quickly wiped his face, chasing away any traces of his emotional breakdown.

“You cry prettier than Kari does,” Jared quipped with a smile. I scowled at him, sending a kick in the direction of his shin. My bare foot connected with bone far too hard for my toes. But Jared winced in pain, making it totally worth the throbbing toes.

“I do everything prettier than Kari does,” Clint’s voice was still hoarse, but he managed to quirk his lips up in a semblance of trying to smile.

Any comeback I was going to make was cut off by the front door banging open and Coulson coming into the kitchen a few seconds later. The tiny bit of humour that Clint was holding onto quickly faded as he shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

“I’m sorry.” Clint swallowed heavily. “I didn’t mean to wreck your Thanksgiving.”

“Clint.” Coulson didn’t need to say anything else. All of his emotion went into that one name as Coulson stepped forward and hugged Clint.

Natasha caught my eye and she inclined her head towards the door. Jared and I both nodded in agreement as we quietly stood up and left the room. Whatever was going to be said between Clint and Coulson didn’t need an audience.

“I’m going to have a shower.” Natasha looked as tired as I felt. “Maybe after that, we can try and work out this clusterfuck.”

“Yeah,” Jared agreed with a sigh. “Can’t say I saw this coming.”

“You and me both.” Natasha’s smile was strained. “They had us all fooled.”

It was only a few weeks ago we were all over at Clint and Laura’s place having a beer and pizza. To think this had all been bubbling away below the surface without even Natasha knowing was incomprehensible.

The three of us went our separate ways. I went back to my room and checked my phone that I’d left on charge. There was the usual good morning text from Gareth along with a picture of Alexi grinning into the camera from Evans.

Then there was 3 missed calls and a text from Laura.

My heart stopped seeing her name on my screen. They were from earlier this morning. My fingers fumbled as I unlocked the screen and went to her message.

_I know you’re probably angry with me right now, but thank you for being there for Clint. He needs you guys more than anything right now. I understand if you don’t want to talk to me, I just wanted to say thank you._

I was so conflicted reading the text. I wanted to be angry with Laura for breaking it off with Clint. She’d been with him long enough to know what the life of a SHIELD agent was like. It was a life of last second missions and not knowing when you were coming home. But it sounded like Clint wasn’t the only one who was heartbroken. It certainly didn’t sound like a scorned woman wanting a divorce. Laura was my friend too and she deserved my understanding too. I wasn’t ready for a phone call, but I started to type out my reply.

_You don’t have to thank me. He’s safe here. Coulson is here now as well._

I stared at the message, my fingers hovering above the screen. No matter how many times I read it, the message came across as short and angry in my mind. I sighed, this wasn’t going to be solved over texting. I hit Laura’s name and watched the phone screen as the call connected before I could chicken out. I put the phone to my ear as Laura picked up on the fourth ring.

“Hey, Kari.” Laura sniffed, her voice strained.

“Hey.” I suddenly found myself lost for words. I could hear the hurt in Laura’s voice loud and clear. This was all so fucked up. “I was going to text but it didn’t come right. But you don’t have to thank me. We’ve got his back.”

There was a bitter little voice in the back of my head wanting to be heard. But I didn’t have it in me to be a bitch to Laura, especially when she sounded like she was still crying. Mom always said there was two sides to every story and the truth was somewhere in the middle of it all. Laura deserved to have her side of the story heard.

“He’s going to need it,” Laura sighed heavily. “Are you going to yell at me now or later?”

“Neither,” I said tactfully. I fumbled to find the right thing to say. No matter what I said, I was probably going to fuck this up. I may as well cut straight to the point. “What the hell happened?”

“Everything.” Laura sighed again. She paused to blow her nose. “Fucking everything. It just all came to head when Clint didn’t come home for Thanksgiving.”

This was going to be really hard to manage without picking a side. Instead of putting in my opinion I stayed silent, giving Laura the chance to speak.

“I always thought I knew what I was getting into, marrying a SHIELD agent,” Laura’s voice hitched at the end of the sentence. “We made it through me juggling the last year of med school and my internship with a baby for god sake.”

I’d heard the stories of Laura falling pregnant with Cooper very unexpectedly. Instead of putting off her last year of medical school, she determinedly finished. Clint had joked both of them had run of nothing but caffeine and sheer determination after Cooper had been born. Medical school and the first year of internship was hard enough without a newborn baby.

“I knew Clint’s job was dangerous,” Laura kept going, despite the obvious struggle in her voice. “It never hit home how dangerous it was until Riley.”

I closed my eyes, feeling my own lump form in my throat. Laura struggled with her emotions on the other end of the line for a minute before she could speak again.

“All of a sudden it hit home how real the danger is.” Laura blew her nose again. I was going to need tissues by the end of this conversation the way things were going as well. “I don’t know how you did it Kari. If I’d been in your shoes I don’t think I’d ever be able to cope. And then Pripyat happened.”

“Fucking Pripyat,” I said with my own sigh. It’d never stop haunting us. I couldn’t begin to touch on the subject of Riley’s death. I knew it affected all of us, but I’d been wrapped up in my own grief far too much to realise how much of an impact it really had. I was glad for the subject change though. I don’t think I could get through a conversation about Riley again today.

“Fucking Pripyat,” Laura echoed with an unamused huff. “We nearly broke up once before because of Clint keeping secrets. I left him just before we got engaged because of it but he promised me he’d never keep anything from me again. Then someone hands me his stash of cash and fake passports. He had a hundred grand in there. A hundred fucking grand just lying around. You have no idea how much that could have helped us out over the last few years.”

I had no clue about Clint and Laura’s financial situation. It wasn’t any of my business so I didn’t pry any further.

“So of course that started that argument,” Laura continued. “It wasn’t just the money, it was more he’d been lying to me. Of course, he tried to talk his way around it by saying I didn’t know about it, so technically he wasn’t lying.”

“Of course he did.” I didn’t doubt what Laura said at all. Clint was the master of trying to talk himself out of situations. Unfortunately for Clint, it didn’t always work out for him.

“Then everything came to head.” Laura didn’t sound amused at my little quip at all. “The kids took Riley’s death hard and Clint’s answer to it was to go on a mission so he didn’t have to deal with his own grief or anyone else around him. I resented him for having to be the only one there for that. Cooper pitched a huge fit and cried all day when Clint wasn’t there for his birthday because of Pripyat. Clint had promised him this year he’d be there for it. Coop’s 7 now, he’s starting to catch onto things like that.”

“Then he missed Lila’s birthday and Thanksgiving.” It wasn’t hard to put the pieces together. Natasha was right when said the straw the broke the camels back. It was one thing after another.

“Yep,” Laura’s voice was heavy with regret. “I just…”

Laura trailed off with a heavy sigh. There were a few sniffles before she could continue.

“I can’t deal with it anymore. He didn’t even tell me he was going on a mission. All he said was that he had some stuff to do at work and he’d be home later. Then nothing until he got home. I’m on this never ending loop of we blow up at each other because he doesn’t communicate. Then we work through it and it always ends up back at square one because he never tells me the entire truth. I’m not strong enough to keep doing this.”

“I wish I could give you a hug right now.” My heart was broken for both of them. It was a shitty situation. I knew Clint kept SHIELD out of his private life as much as possible. But with that also came these problems. I only wished one of them had talked to Natasha or I about this, we might have been able to help in some small way. It might have been wishful thinking, but I felt very guilty for not being there for either of them when there was such a struggle.

“Some strong liquor might be needed too,” Laura’s tone changed to sounding bone tired. As if getting it all off her chest has exhausted her. “I hate this. In my head I knew this was going to happen, we’ve been on a collision course for months. But it still doesn’t stop my heart feeling like it’s been ripped out of my chest and stomped in the dust. I love him, but I can’t deal with the lies and secrets anymore. I just want a normal life. One where I can openly tell people that I have a husband. That he isn’t hiding us away from the world and pretending we don’t exist because he pissed off too many people being an assassin. The kids deserve some stability in their lives too.”

I didn’t realise how hard it was for Laura with Clint wanting to keep his family a secret. Like everything else, Laura seemed to be perfectly fine on the outside. But a lot looked happy and going well on the outside and in reality, it’s all falling apart. This was all so hard to take in.

“Do you need anything?” I was feeling very lost on what to say. I really wasn’t good at these situations and there’d been so much emotional turmoil already this morning. “I’m sorry Laura, this is a shitty situation for both of you.”

“No, we’re okay. My parents have a house at the back of their property that we’re going to settle in.” Laura said quietly. “I told the kids that Clint has an extended work mission so we’re going to stay here for the time being. Cooper is suspicious, but Lila’s too young to understand. It doesn’t hurt that my Mom got her a pony.”

“Every little girl needs a pony.” I smiled a little at the thought of Lila finally getting the damn pony she’d been asking for. My horse phase as a kid lasted a grand total of 3 weeks then I went straight back to motorbikes.

“Even if it is 100 years old and a cantankerous little asshole.” There was a tiny bit of humour in Laura’s voice. Any trace of it was cancelled out by the long pause. “Can….”

Laura took in a deep breath. I waited patiently for her request. In the silence that followed, Natasha came into the bedroom. She raised her eyebrow at me on the phone. I shook my head, hoping I wouldn’t get a grilling with Laura still on the phone. I had no idea how Natasha was going to take this.

“If the kids ring you later, can you put Clint on?” Laura’s request was soft and hesitant. “Please? Otherwise Clint will just hang up on me.”

“Of course. They can ring whenever they want.” I was very relieved at Laura asking that. It crossed my mind briefly that this had the potential to get very, very messy if Laura wanted to be a bitch about things. “I’ve got to go. I’ll talk to you later?”

“Thanks, Kari,” Laura said softly. “Talk later.”

She hung up before I could say anything else. I looked at my phone, feeling exhausted and emotionally drained. This was all crazy.

“Laura?” Natasha asked. I nodded in confirmation, expecting an explosion from Natasha. Instead, she sighed quietly, sitting down next to me on the bed. “Did she explain her side of the story?”

“Yeah, and none of it is good.” I put my head on her shoulder, feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. “She can’t handle the secrets and lies anymore. She wants a normal life.”

“Secrets and lies is what we do.” Natasha didn’t look angry, just sad. “This is going to be a mess to sort out.”

“Yep.” I rubbed my eyes. “The kids are going to ring later. That’s a start at least.”

“I’m glad.” The relief was clear in Natasha’s voice. “I really hoped she wouldn’t use the kids against him. If she did I don’t think I’d be so understanding about the whole thing.”

“Me either.” If Laura had gone down that path, our conversation would have been a very different one a few minutes ago. “They had us fooled, didn’t they?”

“Even I thought everything was fine,” Natasha admitted quietly. “We should head downstairs and see if Coulson needs our help with anything.”

I nodded in agreement. Even if Coulson didn’t need our help, I really needed another coffee and some breakfast.

It ended up being a long day. It turned out Coulson and Clint didn’t want to be disturbed when Natasha and I went downstairs. Instead, we came face to face with Grams who got us out of the house and kept us busy checking one of the herds in one of the back fields. She even made Jared come out with us, much to his disgust. We were gone for most of the day. I felt like a kid being kept out of the house while the adults were talking. It was maddening, but I also understood that Clint didn’t need us hovering over him.

Clint was quiet at dinner, but the rest of us made up for his lack of talking. Jared was over the top, spinning some bullshit stories to try and get everyone to laugh. But it did the trick of getting a ghost of a smile on Clint’s face. Even if it did earn Jared many exasperated looks from Mom. At least Dad thought Jared’s antics were funny. After dinner, Coulson and my parents went over to Grams house. I really felt like a kid again as we were left to clean up the kitchen. But once it was done, Clint retreated into the spare room. Natasha wanted to watch a movie, so we went into the den and argued about what we wanted to watch. For once in my life, I managed to get a movie I wanted. 5 seconds into putting Jurassic Park on, my phone started to ring. It was a number I didn’t recognise.

“Start without me.” I got up and answered the call right away, ignoring Jared’s grumbling protests. “Hello?”

“Kari!” Lila’s high pitched voice hurt my ears. “Hi, hi, hi. Grandma got me a pony!”

“Did she now?” I smiled as I started to walk to the spare room. “What’s his name?”

“She,” Lila informed me, sounded offended I called her pony he. “And her name is Princess Penelope.”

“That’s a very good name,” I said seriously. “Did you ride her?”

Lila laughed into a long explanation all about her ride this afternoon while I made my way through the house. I knocked on the spare room door, hearing a muffled acknowledgement from Clint. I opened to door to find him sitting cross legged on the bed. He had Jared’s laptop in his lap and looked up at me with a frown. I put my hand over the speaker of my phone.

“Someone wants to talk to you,” I said quietly. I removed my hand just as Lila finished telling her story. “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Okay Kari,” Lila said happily. I could hear her bouncing on whatever she was sitting on. She was going through a stage of not being able to sit still if her life depended on it. She was a little ball of energy.

“I’m really not in the mood for a phone call from Alexi,” Clint said sadly. “No offence but it’s not going to make me feel any better.”

“It’s not Alexi.” I put my hand over the speaker again, holding out the phone to him. “Please?”

Clint sighed heavily but took the phone off me.

“Hello?”

I could hear Lila’s excited squeal at Clint’s voice from where I was standing. The lines of stress and worry instantly melted away from Clint’s face. He looked up at me, his eyes bright. I smiled at him, hoping this would give him a small bit of comfort at least. His entire world might be falling apart, but at least I could give him a little bit of joy in the darkness. I went to leave, but Clint grabbed my hand. He gave it a gentle tug, bringing me down onto the bed next to him.

Lila chatted Clint’s ear off, so he only had to put in minimal effort to replying. It took a lot of effort for Cooper to pry the phone off her. Cooper wasn’t normally a chatterbox, but tonight seemed to be the exception. I sat with Clint throughout the phone call for silent support. The kids talked for an hour and a half until Cooper said they had to go to bed. It took another 10 minutes to say their goodbyes because Clint really didn’t want to get off the phone. As soon as they hung up, Clint reached over and pulled me into a bone crushing hug.

“Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me.” I hugged him back, resting my head on his shoulder. “They’re going to ring my phone when they want to talk to you. I told them they could ring anytime.”

I was expecting Clint to start firing questions at me about speaking to Laura. But he stayed silent, his head resting against mine.

“I didn’t grab my phone, it's still sitting in my car on charge,” Clint sounded miserable again when he spoke. “I have so much to try and work out. I barely know where to start.”

“At the start is usually a good idea.” I threw one of Clint’s favourite lines back at me when I moaned about the same thing. “Another good night sleep wouldn’t hurt. But we’re watching Jurassic Park. Come out and watch it with us and worry about everything else later.”

“As long as you don’t force me to watch the third one,” Clint agreed as he released me from our hug. I smiled at him, pleased at his easy acceptance. I thought he might have put up more of an argument. I didn’t get a smile back, but he didn’t look quite as miserable as before.

“We’ll work this out, I promise.” I gave Clint another hug. “No matter what happens, we’re all here for you.”

I may not able to work out this huge problem. But I knew that was a promise I could make. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man this chapter was heavy. There was so much to get through I ended up cutting it a bit shorter than expected. Thank you for your kudos and comments everyone! They mean the world to me. It feels good to be back writing and hopefully, my updates will be a little more consistent over the next few weeks. Fingers crossed anyway.


	65. Chapter 65

“Is that the last of it?”

I nodded, wiping my sweaty face on my shirt as I put the last box in the moving truck. Natasha, Jared and I were at Clint and Laura’s house. Well, I suppose it was their old house now, packing up the last of the belongings and seeing it put on the moving truck. Most of it was going down to Kentucky to help Laura furnish her new house. But some of it was going into storage until Clint found his own place. It was a sad little pile we put into Clint’s moving truck. That one had already gone, Jared with it to help unload at the other end. Until Clint found somewhere to live, we did some swapping around for living arrangements. Jared was moving into Riley’s old apartment and Clint was staying in Jared’s room. Coulson didn’t want Clint by himself, but he and Natasha only had one bedroom apartments so it was the easiest solution.

Natasha sighed, looking at the now empty house. It was strange to see it so lifeless. This was always a place of laughter and cheer. Now with the December snow falling on the ground and the garden looking dead, it was a sad reminder of what was. This house held so many memories for me. I couldn’t even begin to consider how shitty this was for Clint.

It was all happening so fast. It was only 2 weeks ago that Clint appeared at the ranch saying he and Laura had split up. In that time I’d become to go-between for Clint and Laura. They still hadn’t spoken, both of them were adamant they had nothing to say to each other anymore. The kids called every night to talk to Clint on my phone. It was the only time I saw him smile. We flew back to DC yesterday just in time for my appointment to get my jaw unwired. I thought I’d be celebrating with a huge piece of steak. Unluckily for me, my bite was all out of shape and I had to suffer through another week of elastics on my back teeth until I saw an orthodontist. The elastics only let me open my mouth a quarter of an inch, but it was better than nothing. Anything wider hurt like a motherfucker. I managed to eat soup with a spoon last night and drink beer out of the bottle without a straw. Using a utensil again made me feel like a normal person.

Natasha and I stood back as the movers closed the back of the truck. In less than a minute it was going down the street and on it’s way to Kentucky. It didn’t seem real that this was happening, but the emptiness of the house spoke more than words could. I sighed, pulling my phone out of my jeans pocket to let Laura know the truck was on its way. While I typed the text out, I watched Natasha out of the corner of my eye.

She was taking this hard. Laura and the kids were the first real family she had out of the Red Room. They’d given her stability and the chance of seeing what a loving family was. Now it was all gone. After I finished the text, I reached over and gave her a hug. There was a lot of hugging these days. I couldn’t find the words to make anything better and there was nothing I could do to fix this. So I hugged instead. Hugging might not fix everything, but it made all of us feel a little better.

“We need to get drunk,” Natasha mumbled into my shoulder. “Very, very drunk.”

“Let's go out then.” I was tired, but not so tired I couldn’t make it through a few hours of drinking. Natasha looked stiff and tired so it probably wouldn’t be a wild night. Dinner and drinks would do all of us the world of good.

“JoJo’s?” Natasha face lit up at my easy acceptance. She pulled out her phone and started to text someone as I nodded in agreement. JoJo’s was perfect. We could eat and then get drunk. “Good, let's go.”

After stopping at Natasha’s apartment, we went to back to mine. Clint and Jared were both there, along with Coulson. To my surprise, everyone was dressed ready to go out. Judging by the stormy look on Clint’s face, he wasn’t very happy about it. But at least he was getting out of the house. But I also remembered how much I hated it when people tried to make me do things after Riley died and I really didn’t want to. Natasha was the worst for it, but I always ended up enjoying myself at the end. I hoped tonight might be the same for Clint.

I didn’t need to be told to get my ass into gear. I was showered and dressed within 15 minutes. I was yanking on a pair of ankle high boots as we walked out the door. Jared was talking non-stop, teasing Coulson mercilessly about when he was going to introduce us to Audrey, his girlfriend. There was no stopping Jared once he got on a roll about something, it was even worse when Natasha joined in. Their teasing and outrageous plans even got Clint to smile once or twice in the slow crawl over to JoJo’s.

It was packed when we got there. The restaurant looked completely full and the bar only had standing room. Unfortunately for us, someone fucked up the reservation Coulson had phoned in earlier. Our table was double booked and not going to be ready for at least another hour. Not even Jared’s charm to the waitress got us anywhere.

“I’m going to the toilet,” I grumbled as we were firmly sent to the bar to wait. This wasn’t going as planned. The good mood in the cab ride was quickly dissipating from our group. Clint looked pissed off and I wouldn’t be surprised to find him gone when I got back from the toilet.

“I’ll get us drinks,” Natasha offered. She was wearing a low cut top and all the bartenders were male. “At least we can drink the hour away,”

I nodded in agreement before starting to weave my way through the crowd. No one paid any attention to me and I was able to get to the bathroom without anyone hassling me. As usual, there was a line at the ladies so I pulled my phone out. Gareth had been chatty all day, keeping me amused during the long, painful process of packing up Clint’s house. I’d felt my phone vibrate on the way here, but I’d been too busy laughing at Jared being an idiot to look.

_How did it all go? Moving sucks ass. Buy Barton a drink for me. Been there and done that after a relationship break up._

I smiled as I lent against the wall to reply. I’d told Gareth that Clint had broken up with a long time girlfriend and it was very messy. Gareth had been surprisingly supportive and helpful. Though I didn’t know the details behind his own divorce, I was getting the hint that it’d been very messy as well.

_It sucked ass. I’m sore as hell from lifting shit. Going out to dinner and our table isn’t ready, so going to get drunk at the bar._

The line moved, making me push my aching body off the wall. It was all muscle aches from the lifting and bending. My jaw and ribs had both healed surprisingly well. It’d been more of an annoyance than anything else. Then again, after Pripyat, everything was going to feel easier. Not having radiation poisoning while I was healing was a big bonus this time. My phone was annoyingly silent as the line crept forward. What was it with women taking forever in the bathroom? I could be in, pee and out in less than a minute. Whoever the big group of women were must have known each other. The chatter didn’t stop. I tuned it out until a certain sentence caught my interest.

“There are 2 hot blonde guys at the bar.” A woman about my age was standing at the sink, applying a fresh coat of lipstick. The woman next to her had a birthday hat on. By the way, they were both swaying in their heels, it was a very safe guess to see they were already drunk.

“Oh the muscles on the shorter one,” the birthday hat girl giggled, fanning herself. “I call dibs. You can have the taller really blonde one.”

I rolled my eyes. It could have been anyone they were talking about. But big muscles and really blonde could only be Clint and Jared. These two must have been in the group that came in to only use the mirror.

“Done.” The other girl giggled with her friend. She gave her boobs a push-up, pulling the neckline of her dress down a little. “Good thing I wore my good lingerie.”

The snort of laughter that escaped from me was a lot louder than I anticipated. It was enough to pull both of the women's attention to me. I was getting the judgemental stink eye from both of them as I looked up from my phone. It wasn’t unexpected. I was very dressed down tonight in jeans and a plain black t-shirt that had ‘Self Rescuing Princess’ on the front. Riley had brought it for me as a joke ages ago. I loved the shirt so much I’d nearly worn it out.

“He’s an ass man actually.” Fuck it, I was already busted for listening in on the conversation. I may as well pour some fuel on the fire. Clint and Jared would either want to strangle me or they’d appreciate two pretty women throwing themselves at them. Well, Clint might strangle me. It wouldn’t hurt to give his ego a bit of a stroke with a pretty girl wanting his attention. Jared probably wouldn’t care. “The really blonde one, who’s my brother, is a boobs man. Both of them like straightforward women, so offer to buy them a drink if you really want to impress them.”

Their faces instantly changed from bitchy and suspicious to gleeful. They both quickly shoved their make up back into their purses and left the bathroom as quickly as their heels would allow. The birthday girl gave me a quick hug on her way out.

“I’ll buy you a drink too,” she slurred through her drunken giggles. “Thanks, gorgeous.”

I managed to dodge the drunken kiss she aimed at me. She was too drunk and excited to notice before she stumbled off in the direction of the bar. Thankfully the line had crept forward and I finally got into the toilet. As soon as my pants were down, Gareth chose to reply.

“Typical.” I snorted as quickly peed and got out of the toilet. I washed my hands and walked out of the bathroom reading the message.

_I’d offer to give you a massage, but I’m shit at them. Does this mean I’ll be getting a phone call later?_

I laughed under my breath as I started to type out my reply. Gareth had been keeping things PG-rated lately. I barely had any privacy and he seemed to understand better than most that the last few weeks had been stressful.

_Probably, it depends on how much I drink. What are your plans for tonight?_

As I hit send, I collided into another person. I looked up to apologize and found myself looking at someone I actually knew.

“Hey, it’s Kari!” Tex, the Alpha team marksman was grinning at me. “How you doing?”

“Hey. I’m still alive.” I found myself grinning back. I didn’t know him too well, but he was always nice to me. It was good to see a somewhat familiar face after being away for ages. “What are you doing here?”

“Sister’s birthday party,” Tex explained, moving to the side so we weren’t completely blocking the only thing resembling a walkway. The way he said it sounded like it was as enjoyable as a dentist appointment. “She’s already hammered and ran past me about 2 minutes ago saying something about a hot blonde guy at the bar she was buying a drink for.”

“Oh shit.” I turned to where I’d last seen Jared and Clint. Sure enough, the two girls from the bathroom were with them. Tex followed my line of sight and groaned as soon as he saw the scene in front of us. “I’m guessing that’s your sister in the birthday hat?”

“Yep, that’s Ada.” Tex shook his head. “I feel like I should drag her off Barton before this gets out of hand.”

To my surprise, whatever Ada had just said to Clint made him smile as he took a drink. I’d actually expected Clint to turn her down. No matter the reason, it was good to see a smile on Clint’s face. He deserved to feel better after the hell he’d been through the last 2 weeks.

“Sorry, that was my bad.” I smiled, trying to be apologetic. “I may have made some suggestions in the bathroom.”

“Thanks,” Tex said dryly, but there wasn’t any wiping the smile off his face. “Want a drink? Rumlow and a few of the guys are here too.”

“Sure.” I couldn’t see Coulson or Natasha anywhere. I may as well go and say hello while waiting for our table to be ready. Tex and I walked to the bar, he was taller than me and fairly broad so it was easier for me to stay behind and let him clear the path. Unluckily for us, I didn’t have Natasha’s cleavage to enable drinks to happen quickly, so it took ages to get served. Tex was very easy to talk to which made the waiting bearable. Once we had our drinks, I followed Tex to where his group was sitting. There were plenty of faces I didn’t know, but the ones I did all looked very happy to see me.

“How many lives have you got left now?” Rumlow stood up and gave me a very brief hug. “Hows the jaw? Want me to order you a steak?”

“Jaw is still fucked, so no steak,” I said, pulling back my cheek to show off the brightly coloured elastics I was sporting on my back teeth. “I feel like a teenager with braces.”

“Ouch.” For once in his life, Rumlow sounded sympathetic. It didn’t last very long. “You look like a teenager with braces too.”

“You’re an asshole,” I chuckled despite my words. I took a long swig of my scotch, enjoying the burn of it going down. “Move so I can sit down and stare longingly at those wings.”

The group had pushed some of the tables together and there was a spread of food over them. The wings were smelling especially good

“If you rip them into tiny little pieces you can eat them.” Tex supplied helpfully, offering me the chair he was about to sit in. “Yes, I know from experience. Breaking your jaw sucks.”

“Helpful and offering me a chair, I’m glad someone’s mother taught him some manners,” I teased him as I sat down.

“I’m just a good southern boy,” Tex drawled with a mischievous smile. Rumlow balled up a napkin and threw it at his teammate.

“Don’t go using that southern accent to charm your way into everything,” Rumlow scowled at him playfully. “Where’s your drunk ass sister?”

“In Barton’s lap.” Tex rolled his eyes as he perched on the arm of my chair. “Her friend Lauren looked pretty cozy with Jared too.”

“Your fucking brother,” Rumlow scowled for real this time. “How the fuck does he do that?”

“Because he’s charming, unlike some people I know,” I teased Rumlow as I sipped my scotch. “Were you trying to get into Lauren’s pants tonight?”

“Yes,” Rumlow grumbled, causing a round of laughter to erupt from around the table. Poor Rumlow. I had to give him credit for being honest though. “And I can be charming when I want to be.”

“No, you can’t.” Natasha voice chiming into the conversation caused all the male heads at the table to swivel around to look at her. She was standing behind Rumlow with a glass of vodka and scotch in her hand. I knocked back the half a glass of scotch I still had and reached out for the new drink. “Jared gets the girls because he’s pretty. Something you aren’t Brock.”

Natasha’s teasing earned Rumlow another round of laughter from around the table. Rumlow was definitely handsome, but pretty was not a word I’d ever use to describe him. Jared could easily pass himself off as a model and no one would question it.

One of the other Alpha boys stood up and let Natasha have his seat. Unlike Tex, he didn’t get any teasing for letting Natasha have his seat. Most of the guys were either well mannered or terrified enough of Natasha to never question when she wanted something. The conversation flowed around the group, from the few I didn’t know introducing themselves to me dodging questions about how I really broke my jaw. It wasn’t all bad though. There were plenty of funny stories being thrown around, mostly about Tex, from the few family members he had with him. Tex had been right that if I tore the chicken wings into tiny pieces I could manage to eat them. Having meat that wasn't pulverized in a blender made my night. Coulson found us and to my surprise had another drink for Natasha and I. He was looking a little tipsy himself.

“We don’t have a table,” Coulson explained as he dragged a chair over. “So they gave us free drinks to make up for it.”

I tasted the scotch. It was something very smooth and obviously high end. Coulson knew how to pick them. Judging by the pleased look on Natasha’s face, her vodka was just as good.

“Where’s Jared and Barton?” Coulson asked.

Natasha rolled her eyes and jerked her head in the direction we’d last seen them. My back was to the bar so I didn’t have to see the display. I’d only turn around if Natasha looked particularly disgusted about something. Clint was laughing with Ada, actually laughing. Natasha and I were his best friends and we couldn’t get him to laugh after everything over the last few weeks. Last time I looked, they’d found a chair and Ada was lounging in Clint’s lap. Clint was looking not in the least bit sober either. Tonight wasn’t going to end well if things kept going the way they were. I didn’t expect things to go like this. I expected Clint to turn her down, or maybe take the offer of a drink and nothing more.

I turned around to look again. They hadn’t changed much since I last saw them. Ada was still in his lap and Clint was nuzzling her neck now. As I turned back, Coulson was getting out of his chair looking less than amused. There were a few raised eyebrows at the table as Coulson walked over the Clint.

“What’s going on there?” Rumlow was the first to ask what everyone was thinking.

“Barton just had a messy breakup with his girlfriend,” Natasha half lied. She was still scowling in Clint’s direction. “It was only 2 weeks ago. I am not dealing with the fall out of his bullshit.”

“I’ll go get my sister.” Tex got up quickly. “Same story with her too. This isn’t going to end well.”

The entire group watched in either of amusement or mild discomfort as the scene folded out in front of all of us. While I couldn’t hear the entire conversation, it looked quite heated between Coulson and Clint. Tex was having a hard time dragging his sister away, which probably wasn’t helping the situation at all. But she gave up first, walking behind Tex with a serious pout on her face. She threw herself down in the chair next to me with her arms crossed and glaring at her brother. Tex didn’t seem perturbed by it at all. He took his place back on the arm of my chair, casually sipping his beer.

“You remember the female STRIKE members I told you about?” Tex asked his sister. She looked up at him, rolling her eyes dramatically like it was the stupidest question he’d ever asked. I knew that look, I’m sure it was the same one I had when Jared said something stupid. I hid my smile in my scotch glass that was getting dangerously low.

“You mean the ones you described as having the most glorious tits in the world and the other having an ass made for grabbing?” Ada asked with a completely innocent look on her face.

Natasha had just taken a sip of vodka and had to hastily cover her mouth to avoid spraying the table with vodka. I coughed to hide my own strangled laughter from coming out. Natasha and I were the only ones to spare his feelings. The rest of the table weren't quiet in their amusement.

“Thank you Ada for giving the 2 most deadly women I know a reason to kill me,” Tex sighed, giving his sister a dirty look once the laughter died down. He shot me a pleading look. “I never said that.”

“What’s wrong Tex, don’t you think Kari has nice boobs too?” Natasha spoke up before I could reassure him about horrible siblings telling lies. His face started going bright red as he took a long drink from his beer.

Tex was saved from thinking of a reply with Clint coming over to the table with Coulson at his side. In one very deliberate motion, Clint tapped Ada on the shoulder and motioned for her to stand up. With every single set of eyes on him, he plonked himself down in the chair and patted his knee with a smile in Ada’s direction. Coulson looked less than amused at Clint’s little display.

“Last chance.” Coulson bent down to speak to Clint quietly. I barely heard what he was saying and I only caught it because I was looking straight at them. “Do you really want a repeat of what happened after you and Bobbi broke up?”

Clint’s snort was enough to tell me tonight was going to end up in one big fucking mess. He ignored Coulson completely and turned his attention back to Ada. I was really regretting my part on this now. If only I hadn’t pointed those girls in that direction, none of this would be happening. Coulson said nothing except to take a seat with his own drink, turning his attention to Rumlow. It seemed even Coulson was done with Clint’s behavior tonight. Well, fuck it. He was an adult, he could make his own decision. No matter how bad they were.

“Want another drink?” Tex’s question broke me from my guilty thoughts.

“God yes.” I handed him my empty glass. At least I could drown my guilt in scotch. Natasha slid her now empty glass over to him as well. For a second, it looked like she was contemplating throwing it at Clint’s head. But her face changed as she gave it a final push towards Tex.

“Please.” Natasha smile was nothing short of predatory. “Because I have such nice boobs.”

“While I’m not disagreeing, I didn’t say that,” Tex said with a groan, picking up her glass. “Its vodka isn’t it?”

“No ice in mine,” I said quickly before Natasha could get her order in. I rummaged around in my pockets to find some money for him for both our drinks. I hadn’t bothered with a purse tonight, only my ID and some money.

“I’ve got it.” Tex shook his head before I could produce any money. Before I could protest, he took our empty glasses and walked off. I was already feeling a little tipsy as I watched him walk away. Why did I get the feeling I was missing something here? Maybe it was just my tired brain and alcohol making something up. I shook my head slightly, pushing the thought away.

The conversation around the table resumed despite the earlier awkwardness. Not that Clint or Ada were paying any attention to it. The only time Clint moved was to stagger back to the bar for more drinks. At least he brought Natasha and I one while he was there, not that it helped simmer Natasha’s temper. She had no problems throwing snarky remarks in his direction at every opportunity she could. I’d About an hour later, Clint surprised the hell out of everyone by speaking up.

“We should go clubbing. Ultrabar is only a block away.”

“I’m not going clubbing,” I protested immediately. “I’m not dressed for it.”

Not to mention I was dead tired. Tex was keeping my scotch glass constantly topped up and I was beginning to feel drunk.

“You look fine,” Tex reassured me with a charming smile. “Come on, it’ll be fun. I’ll buy you some more scotch.”

“I’m out.” Natasha interrupted, throwing back the last of her vodka. “I have somewhere better to be.”

Judging by the amount of texting that was going on, I knew exactly where Natasha was going. Sam was becoming quite the constant in her life. Not that she’d ever admit it. I was dreading the day their little relationship, or lack of, fell apart. It wasn’t going to be pretty.

“Traitor,” I muttered under my breath. I swirled the last of my scotch around in the glass before downing it. I got up, grabbing onto the chair for balance as a wave of dizziness hit me. Tex had the good manners to quickly grab my arm before I could fall over. “I’m out too.”

“Come on Kari.” Clint turned to me with a pout. “At least one of you has to come.”

“So not in the mood for it.” Especially now the scotch was hitting me. I was tired and sore. Gareth had been texting me all night. His own drinking was starting to kick in some dirty messages. Going home with my vibrator and his suggestive texts was sounding a hell of a lot better than clubbing.

“Have you got enough money for a taxi?” Coulson asked, cutting off Clint who had opened his mouth to speak. In the brief conversation with Clint, Natasha had already disappeared. Sam must have been promising her something really good for her to disappear without saying goodbye to at least me.

“Yeah, I’m good.” I smiled at Coulson, patting my pocket with the cash in it. “I’ll text to let you know I get home safely.”

It was like having a third parent. But right now I was glad he was dealing with Clint’s shit later on and not me. It was probably going to be bad enough if he brought Ada back for the night. Coulson nodded at my reassurance, giving me a small wave. I said my goodbyes, pointedly ignoring Clint’s protests about me not coming clubbing with them.

“I’ll walk you out,” Tex offered, getting up from the chair he’d finally managed to get only 20 minutes ago.

“Thanks.” I gave him a smile as I picked up my coat and scarf. “But I’m scarier than anything else out there. I think I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll walk in this general direction for some fresh air then,” Tex said as he picked his own coat up.

“You just want to admire my ass on the way out,” I teased him for the 100th time that night. It was fun watching his face go red every single time.

“Am I ever going to hear the end of that?” Tex asked with a small groan. “I swear I didn’t say it.”

“Hey, I can’t fault you for looking. I know its pretty spectacular,” I continued my teasing as we started to walk out. Tex said nothing, option to laugh at my smart ass comment instead. The crowd had dwindled away over the last few hours, letting us get out onto the sidewalk without any interruptions. I hunched down in my coat, wrapped my scarf around me a little tighter as the wind blasted me. The snow from earlier was gone but a freezing wind had picked up instead.

“So what are your plans for the rest of the night?” Tex asked as we started to walk down the street, both huddled down in our coats. It would seem Tex felt the cold as badly as I did. There was a taxi rank not far down the road. I wasn’t going to stand on the sidewalk freezing my ass off on the off chance one might pass us on the way.

“Go home and go to bed.” I snuck a quick look at my phone. Gareth had gone quiet after his last very descriptive text. It was close to midnight so I wouldn’t be surprised if he’d gotten sick of waiting for me reply, jerked off and gone to bed without me joining in the fun. “Barton is stayed with me at the moment so I’m hoping if I’m asleep already I won’t hear anything.”

“Don’t worry, Ada doesn’t live here and got a motel for the weekend. I think your safe for the night,” Tex said with a small chuckle. “How long had Barton and his girlfriend been together?”

“A couple of years.” I hated this line of questioning. It wasn’t the first time someone had asking innocent enough question about Clint. I had to be evasive without seeming like I was being evasive. “How about Ada and her boyfriend?”

“Only a year, but she thought he was the one.” Tex shrugged. “She got a job at Hogarth, Chao and Benowitz law firm in New York and starts in the new year. Her boyfriend didn’t want to move, so he decided to call it quits on the relationship. I had a feeling it was more to do with he didn’t like that Ada would be earning more than him.”

“Ouch.” There wasn’t much else I could say about that. Getting a job at a prestigious law firm like she had was a big deal. Having something like that on your resume would put someone miles ahead in any job firm. “It sounds like she’s better off without him.”

“Yeah, but a broken heart is still a broken heart.” Tex gave me a crooked smile. “She’ll come to her senses eventually. She’s the smart one in the family.”

“I doubt you’re dumb,” I said dryly, returning the smile. “Weren’t you a Ranger?”

“Yes Ma’am.” Tex gave me a mock salute. “Corporal Reeves of the Third Ranger Batallion.”

“So what brought you over to SHIELD?” I was enjoying this conversation so I slowed down a little. There was a bit of an unspoken bond between those who were ex military within SHIELD. We all seemed to gravitate towards each other.

“Better pay, less bullshit missions.” Tex’s answer wasn’t a surprise. It was another thing most of the ex-military had in common. SHIELD was double the pay of military. “I did 3 tours of Iraq before SHIELD came knocking. I was almost ready to get out and saw this as a good opportunity to make a change in my life.”

“That sounds like a common theme.” Despite my less than ideal recruitment, SHIELD had changed my life for the better. Mostly. “Hows it working out for you so far?”

“I didn’t die on my first mission, so I think it’s a pretty good start,” Tex said with a chuckle. “But I’m enjoying it.”

“My first mission was boring as fuck.” I thought back to the simple mission where I sat on the roof with Clint and not much else. “The second one, not so much.”

My mind wandered back to the second mission where we’d been in a car crash as well. I never knew what happened to the doctor we’d escorted out. It seemed like a lifetime ago now.

“I heard that’s a requirement for STRIKE Team Delta, everything has to go to shit.” Tex’s comment brought my attention back to him. It made me smile a little. He certainly wasn’t wrong there.

“I’ve found that out the hard way.” I unconsciously rubbed my slightly sore ribs. We’d arrived at the taxi rank. “Thanks for walking with me. You didn’t have to come and shiver your ass off with me.”

“Just being polite.” Tex laid his accent a little harder with a charming smile. It made me smile again as well. He wasn’t flirting, as far as I could tell. But damn, if it was any other girl they’d be throwing themselves at the charming guy beside me. As we reached the first taxi, he reached over and opened the door for me. “Have a good night.”

“Bye.” I slid into the cab with a smile. That was an unexpected interesting little chat. After telling the taxi driver my address, I slid down in the seat with a muffled yawn. I was so damn tired, I could fall asleep right here. I pulled my phone out again and sent a text to Gareth for something to keep me awake.

_Did you fall asleep on me?_

To my surprise the text came up as read straight away. I had my reply in about 30 seconds.

_I am SO sorry Kari. My Mom rang. Talk about an immediate boner killer. You still drinking?_

I laughed under my breath at his reply. It felt like way too much effort to type out a reply, so I pressed his name and called him instead. As I was putting the phone to my ear, he picked up.

“I’ll take that as a yes?” I could hear the smirk in Gareth’s voice.

“No, I finished drinking and now I need someone to help me stay awake on the drive home.” I smothered back another yawn. “Sorry to disappoint.”

“Hardly a disappointment,” Gareth reassured me. “How was your night?”

“Besides wanting to punch Barton in the face, it wasn’t too bad.” I closed my eyes, letting my head fall against the chair. “One of the Alpha team guys kept buying me drinks so I’m feeling a little tipsy.”

“Why did you want to punch Barton in the face?” Gareth asked, his amusement barely concealed. “I’m guessing the guy buying you drinks didn’t get you the good stuff, otherwise we might not be having this conversation right now.”

“Ew, just no.” I caught onto Gareth’s teasing right away. “STRIKE guys are arrogant assholes. If they aren’t intimidated by me, then they think I look like a boy. Barton decided to hook up with someone. It’s going to be a disaster in the morning when he’s sober.”

“You don’t look like a boy,” Gareth scoffed through a small laugh. “Your face is far too pretty to be mistaken for a guy.”

“From behind with my hair up, I have gotten called ‘Sir’ a few times. Especially in my flight suit,” I countered. “I have no hips to speak off. During my first tour I had one poor mechanic so flustered by the mistake he could barely speak to me after it. He always mumbled and turned bright red any time I went near him.”

“Flight suits aren’t the most flattering piece of clothing out there,” Gareth said with a chuckle. “I’ll give you that. Hows your jaw feeling?”

“I ate with a spoon and drunk out of a cup, so I’m happy.” I reached up and rubbed my jaw. I had a weird tingling sensation that came and went on the left side of my face. Right now it could have been to scotch causing it. “I still can’t open my mouth more than a quarter of an inch and I have to see the orthodontist about correcting my bite next week. My life is so exciting.”

“Your life is a lot more exciting than mine,” Gareth said dryly. “I go to the gym, go to work and come home. If I’m lucky I have this awesome, hot blonde sending me a few texts which makes my otherwise boring days bearable.”

“It can’t be that bad.” I could feel my face heating in mild embarrassment at his compliment. “I know it can be soul crushingly boring sometimes at work.”

“It’s so boring I put in a request to head overseas again,” Gareth said with a barely audible sigh. “It doesn’t help my girl has been grounded since before Thanksgiving. Sharpe has me doing safety audits.”

 “It sucks to be a Captain and having real responsibilities.” I winced on Gareth’s behalf. Having your jet grounded was never a fun time. It was a guarantee of being assigned to the most boring jobs in the world that no one else wanted to do. I never got lumped with it too much being a Junior Officer. But being a Captain would give Gareth a lot more responsibility than I ever had. “Good thing I’m coming down next weekend to relieve you of some of this boredom.”

The words fell out of my mouth before I could stop them. I’d still been so undecided about what I was doing and Gareth hadn’t pushed the issue. But for once, something actually felt right. I wasn’t going to take it back now. Mom had been right. I could go down and enjoy a weekend away with my old workmates. The only pressure to do anything else was what I was putting on myself. Even Gareth hadn’t pushed the issue or asked about us actually having sex while I was down there. Like me, he seemed rather content to leave things the way they were right now.

“Yeah?” Gareth asked, sounding very pleased. “I didn’t want to push the issue with you being hurt. But that makes me really happy to hear.”

“I’m hoping I’ll be able to stretch my jaw enough to accomodate eating real food,” I said teasingly. The scotch was helping with loosening my tongue. “Though I’m not sure if it’s going to stretch for much else more.”

There was a pause on the other end of the line. It was long enough to make me feel like I’d said the wrong thing.

“You know I’m not inviting you down here just for sex?” Gareth finally spoke, sounding very cautious. “Not gonna lie on it’d be awesome if it happens. It was fun having you down here for the demonstration.”

“It’s been so long for me, if anything does happen I hope it’s not a crushing disappointment.” I couldn’t think of anything else to say. If he was being honest, I may as well be too.

“Me too.” Gareth sounded relieved as he chuckled. “Some guys I know fucked around after their divorces. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Besides one very messy one night stand, it’s been a long dry spell.”

“How messy was the one night stand?” I asked, feeling relieved at Gareth’s easy answer. The taxi pulled up in front of my building. “Hang on, I’ve got to pay for my cab.”

I pulled the phone away from my ear, fumbling around in my tight pockets for change. I gave the driver a $20, waving him off as he went to get me change. The poor driver had to listen to my tipsy ramblings on the drive over here. A generous tip was the least I could do.

“Okay, I’m back.” I put the phone back to my ear as I climbed out. A blast of arctic wind hit me so hard, I nearly fell over. I pulled my jacket around me tighter and walked as fast as I could towards the door.

“I barely remember the one night stand,” Gareth admitted, sounding sheepish about it. “I was so fucking drunk and it was a friend of a friend. It got back to me that I may have had some performance issues and then I pushed her off me and puked in the rubbish bin. That last part I unfortunately remember.”

“At least you were polite enough to vomit in the bin,” I laughed at his story as I stumbled through the door and into the elevator. “If it makes you feel better, I’ve been in that position too and he missed the bin entirely. How long ago was this?”

In Riley’s defence, he wasn’t that drunk. It was a combination of him having food poisoning on top of having a few bourbons with dinner. I’d never seen him move so fast in the time I knew him.

“January,” Gareth was laughing with me. “That makes me feel a little better. I think. How long has it been for you?”

“9 months.” Time was flying by. I’d be glad to see the end of this year. It’d been beyond shitty. The elevator door opened on my floor. It was an effort to pull myself off the wall I was leaning on. “You win.”

“If you tell me a good looking person like you can’t get laid, I may cry,” Gareth joked. “At least I have the excuse of I was overseas for 3 months of that.”

“I was in hospital for 2 months of that,” I countered with another laugh. “And the one time I tried I got rejected.”

Time had taken a little of the sting off Greg’s rejection. I still hadn’t attempted to make contact with him. I still couldn’t bring myself to delete him off my phone. Maybe one day I’d be brave and find out what the fuck actually happened. It wouldn’t be any time soon though. I fumbled with my apartment key a few times before I got it in the door. My coordination wasn’t working tonight.

“I thought you were only in hospital for 2 weeks in Germany?” Gareth’s confused tone made me frown. It took a second before my brain worked out what he was talking about. Fuck, I probably shouldn’t have said that.

“This was another time,” I said, pushing the door open. I turned the lights on and dropped my keys on the table near the door. “I can’t really talk about it.”

“How about the idiot who rejected you?” Gareth was smart enough to change the topic very quickly. He knew better than most people about clearance levels and nothing he could say could make me talk about classified information. “Can we bitch about him?”

“Idiot is the nicest word he’s been called,” I said dryly, kicking off my shoes. “Natasha calls him ‘that asshole’ now instead of his name.”

“As every best friend should.” I could hear the smile in Gareth’s voice. “My best friend calls my ex wife the demonic hell beast.”

“She looked like it too every time she looked in my direction last time I was there.” I made it to my room and threw myself down on my bed. “I thought you guys had a kid on the way before I left.”

“We did.” Gareth’s tone was tinged with sadness. It made me regret my question immediately. I hadn’t thought it through at all. Before I could apologise, he kept speaking. “Our daughter was stillborn at 22 weeks. It was the last straw in our already failing marriage.”

“I’m sorry,” I said softly. “I need to stop talking tonight. My mouth is getting me in trouble.”

“You didn’t know.” There was a small rustle on the other end of the phone, sounding like Gareth was changing positions. “There’s no need to apologise. What else have you said tonight that has got you in trouble?”

“I made the suggestion to the girl who Barton is hooking up with that he was single and to buy him a drink.” Even now I cringed thinking back to my stupid comment. “So it’s partly my fault this is all about to go to shit.”

“Barton is a grown ass man who can make his own decisions,” Gareth said firmly. “You aren’t forcing him to sleep with the woman.”

“I still feel guilty.” I blew out a breath, staring up at my ceiling. “I know I shouldn’t, but fuck me the entire thing is one big mess. This is going to make it worse.”

“It’ll get better eventually,” Gareth’s tone turned to reassuring. There was a sound on the other end of the phone sounding suspiciously like a muffled yawn. “Believe me, I know all about that. As much as I want to continue our tradition of drunk phone sex, I’m beat.”

“Me too.” I admitted. My eyes were burning from the effort of staying open. “Sorry to disappoint with lack of phone sex.”

“You can call me any time you want, not just for phone sex.” Gareth reassured me again, this time he was laughing at me. “Not that I’m saying the phone sex is a bad thing. Let me know how it goes tomorrow with it all. You’re welcome to come and hide down here if it gets too much. I promise I’ll sleep on the couch and keep my hands to myself unless you say otherwise.”

“I may take you up on that,” I said with a small laugh. “Thanks Gareth. Sleep well.”

“Night Kari.”

I barely had the energy to get up and turn my light off after the call ended. I think I was asleep before I made it back to bed.

I woke up to the smell of pancakes and bacon cooking. Despite the amount I drank last night, I wasn’t feeling too bad. I could do with a gallon of water, but thankfully that was the worst of it. I got changed out of my rumpled clothes and padded out to the kitchen. It wasn’t a surprise to see Coulson in the kitchen. Neither was it a surprise to see Clint sitting at the kitchen island, still in last nights clothes and looking very rumpled. He had his head in his hands, massaging his temples.

“Good morning,” I said way louder than I needed to. Clint visibly winced at the volume of my voice, but didn’t look up.

“Breakfast?” Coulson looked amused as he motioned to the pan on the stove. In a seperate pan there was scrambled eggs cooking. Something soft enough I could hopefully manage. I nodded eagerly as I slid into the chair next to Clint. He had 2 empty Gatorade bottles in front of him, along with a bottle of aspirin and anti-nausea medication. Coulson slid over mug of coffee over to me as I smirked in Clint’s direction. He looked terrible and there was a small part of me happy to see him looking like he was regretting his actions from last night.

“I can feel your silent judgement from here,” Clint’s voice was rough. He didn’t look up from massaging his temples. “I hate myself enough right now without you judging me too.”

He looked miserable enough that any snark I was about to throw at him died in my throat. I had started this last night, so the least I could do was keep my opinion to myself. No matter how trashy I thought it was that Clint was sleeping with someone else 2 weeks after splitting with his wife. This was partly my fault, so I kept my mouth shut as I sipped my coffee.

The lack of speaking in the kitchen quickly got on my nerves. Neither of them were talking and Clint was actively avoiding looking anywhere in Coulson’s direction. He barely mumbled a thank you when Coulson slid his breakfast plate under his nose. I eagerly picked up my fork, tentatively taking a bite of my scrambled eggs. Coulson always did the best scrambled eggs and right now they tasted like the best thing I had ever tasted in my life.

“I need help picking out a dress for the dine in night next weekend.” I finally broke the silence halfway through my plate of eggs. Real food in my stomach had put me in a very good mood. “I’ll stop the silent judgement if you come hold my purse.”

The small snort of laughter was barely audible, but it was there. Clint finally looked up from pushing his food around his plate. He looked like he hadn’t slept at all. The look of misery clearly written all over his face wiped out any anger I felt towards him. Stupid decision or not, he was still my friend and he was hurting. I reached over and gave his leg a squeeze. Clint put his hand over mine and gave me a sad attempt of a smile. The corner of his lips barely pulled up, but at least he tried.

“About time you made that decision. I’ll make sure you look irresistible.”

Shitty life decisions or not, I knew Clint always had my back. It was the least I could do to make his life a bit easier during the shit going on in our lives.


	66. Chapter 66

“I don’t see the point in underwear this skimpy. It looks like dental floss. Doesn’t it ride up in the wrong places?”

I snatched the offending thong out of Clint’s hand and shoved it into my bag. He was being maddeningly unhelpful as I packed for my weekend away. It was Saturday morning and I was leaving as soon as I was done. My hair and makeup was ready for tonight. All I needed to do was check into my hotel and get dressed.

“You were the one who said, ‘Get the sexy underwear, men are visual creatures and like to unwrap their present’,” I said, grabbing the matching bra for the thong. “As if I needed an excuse to spend money on lingerie.”

I’d been lucky that being on the ranch for a few weeks made my bank account look very healthy coming into Christmas. It wasn’t looking quite as healthy now thanks to Christmas and dress shopping for this weekend. Dress shopping had turned into lingerie and shoe shopping. Something I really didn’t need any more of. But despite his hangover while shopping, Clint had been amazingly helpful.

I thought it would be awkward with us living together. But we’d settled into a comfortable routine. We went to work together. I’d started back at the gym very gently and done a few shorter flights in the Quinjet. I’d very tentatively done some work with my bow most mornings with Clint as we weren’t allowed on the gun range until after Christmas. Natasha and Jared both joined us in those morning practices, except with throwing knives. It was strangely peaceful being back at work with all of us together. Jared’s ankle was looking good enough he was up for some light sparring. Clint had been more than happy to whip his ass back into shape. Natasha had been sore, but our morning yoga sessions by ourselves seemed to eventually work her kinks out.

When we weren’t at work, Clint was the perfect housemate. He cooked and cleaned without any complaints. There were only minor disagreements on what to watch on TV. He even put the toilet seat down. I loved his cooking the most. He’d been slowly building up food that I could chew. My orthodontist appointment had been disappointing. My elastics were still on to move my bite back into place for another 6 weeks. But I could chew soft foods now. I’d been so excited to eat a banana when I could finally open my mouth wide enough to take a bite out of it. I’d gotten a lot of teasing for it too since it was in the STRIKE rec room when I discovered I could do it. Even I had to admit it sounded a bit dirty when I took that first mouthful.

“I still stand by the fact it’s Natasha fault that you brought La Perla,” Clint said with a snort. He was lounging on my bed watching me pack. “I’m all for sexy lingerie but there is not enough material on those to justify the money you spent on them.”

I wasn’t going to admit I vomited in my mouth a little when the cashier rang my purchases up. Clint was right that the money I spent on them was ridiculous for the little amount of fabric that was on them. Natasha had been very insistent on the particular red and black lace thong and bra set. The thong had ribbon ties on the sides. It screamed needing to be untied with someone’s teeth. It was most of the reason why there were flashes of nerves starting to kick in. After my phone call with Gareth last week I was feeling confident to take the next step in moving on with my life. While I was feeling confident about doing this, I was also nervous as hell. This could all crash and burn spectacularly.

“You should pack some toys,” Clint interrupted my thoughts.

“What?” I quickly snapped back to the conversation we were apparently having. I wasn’t fooling Clint. I’d been folding the same shirt over and over again while my mind had drifted.

“Sex toys,” Clint said slowly emphasizing each word far too heavily. “Especially the one that has 12 different settings you like to cycle through.”

I didn’t know whether to throw something at Clint or dig myself into the carpet and die of embarrassment. That particular toy wasn’t that loud. Or so I thought. Jared certainly never complained he could hear it and he’d be the first one to bitch about it.

“I hate you for ruining my favorite toy,” I settled for grumbling at him instead, turning around so he couldn’t see my bright red face. “I didn’t think it was that loud.”

“It’s not.” Clint sounded so fucking proud of himself, I went back to considering throwing something at his head. I rummaged around in my wardrobe for a pair of jeans instead. “It’s the vibrations that give it away.”

It didn’t make me feel any better. I knew Clint didn’t sleep with his hearing aids in once he felt comfortable somewhere. I’d forgotten that he had said many times that every other sense gets amplified when he didn’t have them in.

“Kari, come here.” Clint’s laughter didn’t take long to break the embarrassing silence on my part. I turned around to see a smile on his face and him with his arms open. “I’m sorry, I’m an asshole I know. Come hug me and I’ll make it better.”

“No, you’ll tickle me. You can shove your hug up your ass Barton.” I had to turn around again so Clint couldn’t see me smile. He had good reason to smile today and I was very proud of being the reason for that.

After his disastrous one night stand, he’d been very quiet and withdrawn. More so than before. When I tried to get some help putting the Christmas tree up, it had made things worse. A few glasses of whiskey later, Clint finally admitted he was heartbroken that he wasn’t going to see his kids for Christmas. For him, Christmas was such a big deal and it was killing him knowing he wouldn't see his kids this year because of his own fuck ups.

That night I started emailing Laura about Christmas plans. The negation that followed felt like it was worthy of a SHIELD level 1 situation. As much as I loved Laura, I’d felt like slapping her on several occasions over the last week. She didn’t want Clint anywhere near their new places but refused to let the kids come up to DC either. When I told her she was being unreasonable, and quite frankly, a bit of a bitch, it’d ended up in a tearful phone call. I knew she wasn’t being a bitch on purpose, a broken heart could make you say and do some stupid shit. But after a gentle reminder that Clint was still the father of their children and nothing was going to change that, things became a little easier. The plan was all of us would fly to Kentucky, rent a car and stay the next town over on Christmas Eve. Laura had picked up work at the local hospital and she was working an afternoon shift on Christmas Day so Clint could have a Christmas dinner with the kids. Natasha and I would arrive just before she left, then Clint, Jared and Coulson would follow once Laura was gone. It wasn’t perfect, but it gave Clint what he desperately needed at the moment. Something to look forward to.

Laura had emailed Clint the plan herself as well. It wasn’t much, but I hoped it was a small step in the direction of them being amicable. Hell, it might even be a step towards them fixing this whole fucking mess. But seeing Clint happy and almost walking on clouds for the last two days had been a good thing. Except for that he seemed to have his fucking annoying teasing streak back in him. Some of it was still forced, but in the times it wasn’t, it was really good to see him smiling again.

“I promise I won’t tickle you,” Clint sounded sincere. “Come here and hug me. I promise I’ll never tease you about the sex toy again.”

“You’re a shit.” I complied with his request, walking over to the bed. Clint wrapped his arms around me from his sitting position on the bed, putting his head on my stomach. The hug was tight enough that breathing became uncomfortable after a few seconds. But I smiled and ran my fingers through his hair. I was very glad I could give him something to look forward to. I was missing Laura and the kids like crazy as well, so Clint wasn’t the only one looking forward to Christmas.

“Can I decorate the apartment while you’re on your dirty weekend away?” Clint’s voice was slightly muffled in my shirt. “Your Christmas tree sucks ass.”

“While I’m on my weekend away with my old workmates,” I corrected Clint. “Yes, you can decorate the apartment but if anything sings or dances, it’s being used for target practice.”

“Does this mean you’ll start wearing sexy underwear in the locker room for your new workmates?” Clint asked, looking up at me with his chin resting on my stomach. “Because I think someone might really enjoy that.”

The suggestive wiggle of Clint’s eyebrows earned him a shove. Unluckily for me, he was holding onto me too tightly and I ended up sprawled over him on the bed. At least no one else was around to hear my very undignified shriek. Natasha had pointed out a few days after our night at JoJo’s that she was pretty sure Tex had a crush on me. He’d been drinking a protein shake and when I commented it smelt good, he brought one in for me the next morning and the rest of the powder so I knew what to get when it ran out. I scoffed at Natasha and told her 12 year olds had crushes and he simply had good manners. But it’d stuck and become a constant source of teasing from her. Clint had joined in the fun of teasing me yesterday as well.

“Let me go.” I couldn’t stop the giggle escaping from me. It was so good to see Clint happy. “I have to keep packing. It’s meant to snow later and I don’t want to get stuck in the weekend traffic.”

Clint instantly let me go. I scrambled off the bed. I was nearly out of reach when he shot forward and landed a stinging slap on my ass.

“Get going woman,” he said smartly. “You’ve got a hot date.”

I wasn’t going to bother with the comeback it wasn’t a hot date. Otherwise, we’d swing right back to this is a dirty weekend away. Which it would probably end up being if I was being honest with myself. Although I was nervous, it felt like I was doing the right thing. My body was agreeing very heavily with me that some action was needed. After Gareth’s phone call, I’d ramped up the sexting to the point where I was frustrating myself. I’m sure he was going to have some form of payback in mind because I’d sent him far too many dirty messages while he was at work. Apparently, a boner in a full flight gear was one of the most uncomfortable things in the world.

I threw the rest of the clothes I needed in my bag and grabbed my dress that was hanging up in a garment bag. It’d taken me ages to find the right one. It needed to be a long dress, something formal and not too revealing. But I also wanted to make a statement with it. With Clint and Natasha’s help, I was sure I’d accomplished everything I wanted to.

“Are sure you have everything?” Clint asked, the idle chatter of while I packed turned serious.

“I’m sure I do.” I zipped my bag up, ignoring another flash of nerves. “Thanks for getting the car for me.”

Clint had gone over to Riley’s old place earlier and got his BMW for me to drive down. While I loved my Kawasaki, my ass and back wouldn’t appreciate the 3 hour ride on it. I was going to take Jared’s car but Clint made the suggestion taking the BMW instead. A long drive would do it the world of good to keep it running. It was a nice car to drive, so there weren't any arguments from me about it. It did feel a little odd taking my boyfriends old car to a potential hook up though. But I’m sure if I took my Kawasaki, Riley would get up out of his grave and smack me for being so stupid.

“No problem.” Clint got up off the bed, stretching as he went. “Here, I’ll take your bag so you don’t crush your dress.”

When he wasn’t being a shit, Clint could be so helpful when he wanted to be. I don’t think the kitchen had ever been used this much. I certainly wasn’t complaining about the home-cooked meals. It was helping me put some muscle back on after my inactivity. Even Mom couldn’t do mashed potatoes as good as Clint.

“Are you going to be all right this weekend?” I asked as we walked out of the apartment and to the elevator. Jared and Natasha were coming over tonight to watch cheesy, old horror movies. I’m sure I heard the mention of pizza and beer too. I had no doubt there’d be at least one of them sticking around for the rest of the weekend.

“Now I have your permission to decorate the apartment, I have more than enough to keep me occupied,” Clint said with a gleam of mischief in his eyes. “I promise nothing will sing or dance.”

Why did I get the feeling I was going to come home and it would look like a Christmas factory vomited in the apartment? I should have remembered Clint’s out of control Christmas decorating from last year.

“And bake some more crack cookies,” I said casually as the elevator started to go down.

Clint had baked 2 dozen sugar cookies earlier in the week. I wasn’t ashamed to admit once I found out dunking them in milk made them soft enough for me, I ate all but 5 of them. Since then I’d dubbed them crack cookies because I’m sure they were as addictive as crack.

“Fine, I’ll make you more crack cookies.” Clint huffed dramatically, but a smile was playing on his lips. We’d made it to the car and Clint waited until he put the bag in the backseat before he spoke again. “In all seriousness, are you going to be all right? I can drive down and get another room. That way you have some muscle for back up.”

“Yeah, I’m going to be fine.” I smiled, hanging the dress up. Jared had said something very similar last night. It seems I had 2 older and protective brothers now. “Besides, I can kick his ass with one hand tied behind my back. I’ve got all the muscle I need.”

I flexed my arm with a confident smirk. My biceps looked laughable, but the words were true enough.

“You dork,” Clint said with a laugh, pulling me into another hug. My smirk softened into a gentle smile as I hugged him back. “Thank you for everything you’ve done over the last week.”

“You don’t need to thank me.” I closed my eyes, enjoying Clint’s firm embrace. “You were there for me when my world fell apart. It's the least I could do.”

Clint didn’t say anything, he really didn’t need to either. He hugged me a little tighter. As shitty as this year had been, it could have been much worse without the support I had. If I hadn’t impressed Clint at the range that day last year, my life could have taken a very different turn. One that might have seen me taking that step off the roof that night. Instead, I was still here and piece by piece, putting my life back together. Clint and Natasha might tease me mercilessly about this, but I knew they had my back no matter what happened. We were a crazy little family and we’d be there for each other. I thought after Thanksgiving and talking about Riley a lot might have really set me back But it seemed to have the opposite effect, it helped me heal a little more from losing him. Mom was right in that I couldn’t keep living in the past. Nothing was going to change what happened and no one was going to begrudge me moving on with my life. Taking this step was pretty fucking terrifying though.

“Drive safely, yeah?” Clint said without breaking out hug. “Text us when you get there.”

“Yes Dear.” I replied with an eye roll. “Let me go so I can get started. The traffic can still be horrid on the weekends.”

“Go.” Clint released me with a small push towards the driver's seat. “Don’t speed. Have fun.”

I didn’t need to be told twice, I climbed into the driver's seat and with a wave to Clint, I was on my way. It was a long and boring drive. The promised snow didn’t fall, but a drizzling rain followed me all the way from DC. As predicted, the traffic was shit, stretching my driving time out to 3 and a half hours. I was glad for Clint insisting he did most of my make up before I left. All I needed to do after I checked in was put lipstick on and get dressed.

The hotel I’d booked at was one of the nicer ones near Langley Air Force Base. I’d paid extra for the deluxe room so I had a spa in the bathroom. Check in was relatively painless, except for the receptionist giving me a strange look. I was dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt, making me look odd in the fancy foyer. As I went up to my room, I sent everyone a text message letting them know I’d arrived safely. The room was well worth the extra money. I’m not sure if the king size bed was calling my name first or the extra large spa in the bathroom. I grabbed a scotch from the mini bar and drained the ridiculously priced small bottle in one swallow. The nerves from before were starting to come back.

“Come on woman, get your shit together.” I coached myself. “This is only dinner. You don’t need to be nervous about dinner.”

I didn’t have time to be nervous either. Gareth wouldn’t be far away thanks to my slower than planned trip here. Knocking back the last drop of scotch, I stripped off my clothes and went into the bathroom with my bag and dress. I took in a deep breath as I looked at my reflection in the mirror. Clint’s make up job was sublime, as always. My hair had stayed in the gentle waves Clint had teased them in on the drive here. After a quick coat of lipstick and spray of perfume, even I had to admit I looked amazing.

I shimmed into the tiny pieces of silk that really couldn’t be called underwear, tying the ribbons a little tighter around my hips. Natasha talked me into a pair of thigh high stockings as well and once it was all together, I had to admit she was right that it looked great. My phone vibrated as I was putting on my coat of lipstick. It was Gareth.

_I’m here. Do you want me to come up or wait in the bar?_

Shit. He was early. We were taking a taxi from here so we could both drink for the night. Fuck it, I was nearly ready. I quickly tapped out a reply.

_I’ll be about 5 minutes. Have a drink and get one for me._

I quickly got what I needed to put in my purse and went out to the main room. I unzipped the garment bag and slid it off the long midnight blue dress. It was a simple dress, halter neck and backless except for 2 straps crossed over the back. The slight gather at the waist made me look like I had decent ass and hips. It was so simple but it looked amazing on me. I slipped into my silver heels. I had to go with a smaller than usual heel so I wouldn’t tower over Gareth. He was only an inch taller to me so it limited my shoe choice. I snuck a quick look in the mirror, as always thanks to Clint and Natasha’s impeccable taste, I looked incredible.

Grabbing my purse, I shoved everything I needed in it. I grabbed my coat and headed out the door. It didn’t take long for me to get down to the bar. I spotted Gareth straight away. He was sitting at the bar in his formal uniform, half turned towards the door. I took a second to appreciate his muscular form in uniform. He looked damn good. He glanced in my direction and did a double take, a grin spreading over his face. The grin was contagious as I strode towards him.

“Hey there Captain, going my way?” I asked as I walked up, sliding into the seat next to him. He had a glass of scotch sitting on the bar waiting for me. Straight up, no ice. Someone had been listening.

“Hey there Agent.” Gareth grinned, he got up and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. “You look incredible.”

“Thanks.” I slid into my seat and picked up my drink. “Cheers.”

“Cheers.” Gareth clinked his glass against mine. I didn’t miss the appreciative look as his eyes raked up and down my body. I hid my smile behind taking a sip of my own drink. My nerves started to dwindle away at how comfortable this felt. “How was your trip down?”

“Long,” I said with a wrinkle of my nose. “But I kept myself amused with my terrible singing. How was your day?”

“Much better now you’re here,” Gareth said with a confident smile, taking a sip of his drink. His smile gave me a brief flicker of butterflies, in a very good way. “I’m very happy you’re here. This is a really nice place.”

“I know.” I took a sip of scotch, making an appreciative noise as it slid down easily. “I have a spa in my room that’s hopefully going to be well worth the extra money.”

It was a little bit of bait to see how Gareth would react. It was quick, but I didn’t miss the obvious hard swallow he did before talking again.

“I’m thinking I should join SHIELD,” Gareth said, chuckling a little. I smiled into my glass at his quick change of subject. It seems someone didn’t want to be getting an inappropriate boner so quickly in the night. “You seem to be way better paid than I am.”

“You’d be an improvement on some of the pilots I know.” I shuddered thinking back to my horrible 2 weeks of pilot training. “Remember when I had that 2 weeks of pilot of training as punishment?”

“Yeah, I remember.” Gareth shook his head with a small laugh. “You have to tell the story of setting off the flashbang in the men’s showers tonight. Everyone will love it.”

“I’m pretty sure I still have pictures of me with pink hair to go with the story.” The punishment was still worth the look on Rumlow’s face as he came running out of the bathroom after I set off the flashbang and smoke grenade.

Gareth’s phone interrupted any reply he was going to make. He glanced at the screen with an annoyed look on his face.

“Taxi’s here,” Gareth said with a small grumble. “Dammit, I didn’t expect for it to get here so early.”

“The night is young, we can always come back later,” I said, letting the implication hang in the air. I knocked back the scotch in one quick motion. The expensive tasting liquor made me feel all warm and fuzzy. It also gave me some much-needed courage to continue with the train of thought. I pressed on from the thought from earlier. “Order room service, head up and try out the spa.”

“You’re making it very tempting to ditch tonight and head up there right now.” Gareth squirmed in his seat, finishing off his drink. “Let's go before my resolve crumbles.”

I hid my triumphant grin as I got out of my chair. Gareth followed me a second later, offering his hand to me. I slid my hand into his, enjoying the chaste touch. It shouldn’t be sending a thrill through my body, but it was.

“So how’s work been this week?” I asked innocently as we made our way outside. I knew exactly how his week had been because I’d been texting him non stop.

“Frustratingly boring,” Gareth said with a knowing smirk. “You seem to have a lot of time on your hands this week.”

“It’s nearly Christmas and we aren’t the team on standby.” My explanation wasn’t a lie. Natasha and I technically weren’t due back at work until after New Year. But both Max and Andrew had been happy enough to clear us for light duties from a physical and mental side of things. “There’s an abundance of spare time on my hands right now.”

“What do you actually do all day?” Gareth asked, his tone turning from teasing to serious. “I can’t actually imagine how you fill your days.”

“It depends.” I paused before we went outside so I could put my jacket on. Gareth moved to help me into the thick wool trench coat. It didn’t exactly go with my outfit but I’d freeze to death without it. “Morning is always working out. Natasha and I do secret girl stuff before Barton gets there. Then we spar, my brother has been joining in too while he’s still around.”

Jared was expecting to be back on some easy assignments any day soon. My recovery had been long, but it was nothing compared to the time it’d taken for his ankle to finally get better.

“Then we do stuff like hitting the range, update qualifications if we need to.” I racked my brain as I tied my coat up trying to think of other shit we did during the day. “I do flights if I’m needed. It’s really not that exciting unless we get a mission.”

“Doesn’t that sound familiar.” Gareth opened the door for me. The taxi was waiting right at the entrance much to my relief. I didn’t need to be getting muddy in the 5 steps it’d take to get there. “You know I tried online dating very, very briefly. All the girls were under the impression my days were straight out of the Top Gun movie. They were so disappointed when they found out I spend more time at a desk than in a jet.”

“It ruins the image, doesn’t it?” I knew that exact feeling. When I was dating, most guys thought I spent all day flying. “I can’t even begin to thinking of starting to explain my job to a person not in SHIELD if I ever attempt date again. Guys used to be intimated enough when I was a pilot.”

As I slid into the taxi, my phone began to ring. It wasn’t one of my usual ringtones I had assigned to people, just the generic tone. I wrinkled my nose as I got it out of my bag. I didn’t recognize the number either. But it was a California area code. I stared at the number contemplating whether I was going to answer or not. I scrunched up my nose and sent it to message bank. Before I could apologize to Gareth about the interruption, the phone rang once and my screen suddenly came to life. The smirking face on the screen was definitely not who I was expecting.

“Hey Ice Queen.” Tony Stark himself was spinning around in a computer chair. “You know you shouldn’t screen your calls. You never know who’s on the other end of the line.”

What the fuck was Tony Fucking Stark doing calling me?

“What do you want Stark? I’m busy.” I stared at my phone, not quite believing this was happening. Next to me, Gareth’s eyebrows were nearly in his hairline in surprise.

“You look pretty. Are you out with your hot doctor friend?” Without waiting for a reply, Tony held up to jewelry boxes. “I need an opinion for Pepper’s Christmas present. You two never stop talking and you’re about the only female friend she has who doesn’t have to be nice because she’s their boss. Which one?”

I don’t know how the fuck he managed to talk so much without taking a breath. I could barely keep up with him. Pepper and I didn’t talk constantly either. We chatted randomly of and off. Sometimes one of us would forget to reply or get too busy. But when we could, we picked up where we left off. I didn’t have time to contemplate on what he said either before he was opening both the jewelry boxes and holding them up.

“Where do you think Pepper is going to wear them?” I had to cover my surprise up very quickly at the sight of the expensive jewelry. The bracelet was studded with diamond and sapphires. The necklace was a diamond choker with rubies. I didn’t doubt it as real jewels. Both of them looked ridiculously expensive.

“I don’t know.” Tony rolled his eyes at my question. “But girls like expensive jewelry. Don’t they? I want to make sure our first Christmas is a good one. Who’s the Air Force Captain with you?”

“Just focus on your presents and not on what I’m doing.” I swear Alexi had a longer attention span than Tony. I tilted the phone away from Gareth, who was currently trying very hard to cover his laughter. “I think they’re very gaudy and they’d spend more time in Pepper’s jewelry box than on her. Pepper is like me and wears simple jewelry. What’s plan B?”

“Plan B, C and D were more jewelry.” Tony snapped the boxes shut, looking frustrated. For someone so smart, he could be really clueless sometimes. I’d never tell him I found this kind of sweet that he was ringing me to make Pepper happy. Their relationship was still new and I remembered the pressure I was under trying to find Riley something last year. “Suggestions?”

“My favorite bit of jewelry is that braided leather bracelet I always wear.” I decided to take pity on him and be helpful. “My best friend made it for me, learning how to do it off a YouTube video. You’re handy, I’m sure you could think of something meaningful to make her. It’d mean a lot more than a piece of jewelry you got from the store.”

“You wear a necklace with the bottom of a .338 bullet too,” Tony said, looking distracted already. He’d put the jewelry boxes down and looked like he was scrolling through something on his computer. “Huh. If this doesn’t work, I’m blaming you.”

“If it works you can give me that sapphire bracelet,” I said smartly. “As you noticed I have company, is that all you wanted?”

“You didn’t tell me who it was you’re with.” A mischievous smirk crossed Tony’s face. “Or what happened with your hot doctor friend.”

“I’m allowed to have more than one friend.” I rolled my eyes. “And I’m with one of my old workmates going to a dine-in night. Goodbye Stark.”

For once, Tony got the hint and ended the call before I could get in another word. I shook my head while staring at my now blank screen. When did my life get so fucking weird that I had billionaires ringing me up for Christmas present advice.

“So?” Gareth broke the silence, making me look over to him. “Did that really happen?”

“It really happened.” I shook my head again. “Welcome to my fucking weird life.”

“I knew you were dealing with Stark after you drunk phone call,” Gareth said, looking curious. “But how do you know Pepper Potts?”

I spent the rest of the cab ride explaining to Gareth how I first met Pepper at the press conference after Tony Stark had come back from Afghanistan. I had to skimp on the details of my exact involvement on the whole incident before Stark came out as Iron Man and leave out the details of why we were babysitting Stark a few months ago. But there was still enough detail there to make it an amusing story.

“And you say your job is boring.” Gareth chuckled as the taxi pulled up the front of the Officers Mess. I still had my Air Force ID, so there was no worrying about having to sign me onto base. “Are you ready for this?”

“Not really, but let's go.”

Dine in nights could either be painfully boring and stiffly formal. Or they could dissolve into a fun night with plenty of alcohol. It depended on who the invited guests were and whether they stuck around after the formal part of dinner. Christmas ones usually involved higher up officers in the Air Force, so it could be very boring. I remember the last one I went to, I’d spent most of the night texting Jared under the table because I was so bored.

After shedding my coat, I only managed to make it 5 steps before I was surrounded. I was taken back by the sudden attention all on me. Poor Gareth barely got a hello from everyone. It felt very weird being the center of attention. While I expected it the last time I was here, this time it felt odd. I used to blend into the background so well at Air Force functions. That was all long gone.

Cocktail hour passed in a blur of conversation. I’d been kept so busy talking, I’d barely touched the scotch Gareth had gotten me. I was glad when the call was finally made for everyone to sit down. It was exhausting having so many people vying for my attention. It was almost a welcome relief to have to sit there in silence while listening to speeches before our entrees were served. I still had the amusement of Gareth’s ex-wife sending me nasty looks throughout the speeches though. At least someone had the brains to keep us on opposite sides of the room. Once the entrees were served, the conversation flowed around the table easily and the center of attention drifted away from me. It was probably a good thing, I’d taken my shoes off and I was distracting Gareth under the table by running my foot up and down his leg. It was fun to watch him squirm in his seat and try and keep his attention on what was happening around him.

It wasn’t until mains were being served that I was suddenly the center of attention again. One of the servers came up with a bowl of pasta instead of the chicken or steak alternative drop.

“There was a request for soft food?” The server asked.

“That’s me.” I put my hand up. As much as I hated being one of those people who needed something special made for them, I didn’t need to embarrass myself by getting something I had to shred into tiny pieces to eat. Gareth had made sure I got something I’d be able to eat without any problems. I could feel a lot of curious eyes on me as the server came and placed the spaghetti with a creamy looking sauce in front of me.

“I’m going to be the rude one and ask,” Helix piped up before the silence got too uncomfortable. “Why do you need soft food?”

“I broke my jaw,” I said simply, taking a sip of scotch. I thought Gareth might have told everyone after Sharpe got in touch with Coulson after Odessa. “I only got it unwired a few weeks ago. I’ve still got brackets and elastics on my back teeth to try and put everything back into its correct shape.”

“How the fuck did you break your jaw?”

“Car accident.” It wasn’t really a lie. There had been a car accident involved in the events that led up to my face nearly being crushed to a pulp by a ghost assassin. “At work.”

No one pressed for details as soon as I said it was at work. There were plenty of sympathetic words thrown my way before the subject got dropped. The rest of dinner passed quickly and before I knew it, I was telling the story of throwing the smoke grenade and flashbang into the men's shower over a piece of warm chocolate cake for dessert. A few people had gravitated over to see what we were all laughing about, so I ended up retelling the story again. I even passed my phone around with the photo of my horrendous pink hair.

After dessert, there were more speeches. The local Senator was the guest of honor, an older gentleman who’d flown jets in Vietnam. Unfortunately, he also liked the sound of his own voice and talked for half an hour. The only consolation was that wine was put on the table for everyone before he started. As much as I didn’t like white wine, the glass of it got me through the long droning speech. It didn’t hurt that Gareth was getting his payback and distracting me for the earlier teasing. I casually draped my leg over his during the speeches. We were sitting close enough to together that no one had noticed. My dress had ridden up enough that Gareth had been running his fingers up and down my thigh. He’d done a good job at hiding the small surprise when his hand came in contact with the thigh high stockings. It was pouring fire on the horniness I’d built up all week. It took a lot of effort to keep myself from reacting to it. The senator was the only one with a long speech, the rest of the formal part of the evening almost seemed rushed after the long speech. With the formal proceedings over, the night would switch to a more informal feel now.

“Do you want to stay and dance?” Gareth lent over and asked me quietly as soon as we had a second to ourselves. Sharpe’s wife had come over and spoke to me for 10 minutes. Sharpe’s 50th birthday was in February and she was giving me all the details for the party along with fussing over me getting hurt. I didn’t think she was ever going to stop talking to me until Sharpe came over and dragged her away.

“I’m done for the night.” It wasn’t me being tired that was me wanting to get out of here. I was also ready to grab Gareth back to my room and make some of the texts from earlier this week come true. I’d had enough to drink that I was relaxed and the nerves from earlier were long gone. “Wanna come back and try out the spa?”

“Let's go then.” Gareth didn’t need any extra encouragement. He downed the last of his drink while I put my shoes back on. It took ages to say goodbye to everyone but we finally got out and into the freezing night air.

I turned to ask Gareth how long it would be. it was bad timing on my part as Gareth had turned his head towards mine too. We were too close together and ended up knocking our heads together.

“Ow.” I laughed, rubbing my forehead.

“Fuck, sorry.” Gareth groaned, wincing as touched his own forehead. “That was not the sexy move I was planning.”

“Sexy move?” I asked, feeling a smile creep onto my lips.

“Yeah, I was going to turn and kiss you.” Even in the dark, I could see a faint tinge of red crawl across Gareth’s face. “Apparently I’m not as smooth as I want to be.”

Neither was I. What I was about to do could end up in one of us with a bloody nose. But the scotch from earlier gave me the courage to do it. I grabbed Gareth by the tie, yanking him close enough to me so I could kiss him. There was a brief wobble before Gareth caught his balance, but to my surprise, it actually worked. Our lips met in a soft kiss. Gareth only hesitated for half a second before deepening the kiss. My arms came up, wrapping around his neck as we kissed. Gareth’s hands went to my hips as he pulled my body in closer.

The feel of his lips against mine sent tingles through my body. I could feel goosebumps rising on my arms as his lips brushed against mine. The kiss didn’t last long, the sound of a car pulling up made us both jump and pull apart. Our taxi had arrived.

“Let's take this somewhere warmer,” I said with a breathless laugh. Even with my thick coat on it was freezing.

Gareth didn’t waste any time pulling me into the taxi with him. I ended up sprawled over him, barely able to get out the hotel name before Gareth was kissing me again. There wasn’t any fumbling this time. I was in Gareth’s lap, kissing him before the taxi moved away from the curb. The alcohol from tonight kept my brain quiet enough to let my body enjoy the feel of Gareth’s lips against mine, his hands running over my body. It was easy to lose track of time as we made out like a pair of teenagers in the back seat of a car. It wasn’t until the driver cleared his throat we pulled apart, realizing we were at the hotel.

“Sorry.” Gareth apologized as we untangled ourselves. The taxi driver looked rather unamused at our antics. Gareth quickly gave him some money as we stumbled out of the cab and into the hotel. The trip up to my room was a blur of kisses and slightly inappropriate groping. We were lucky there was no one else in the elevator with us.

Once we got into the room, I took no time in pulling Gareth’s jacket and tie off. My fingers didn’t want to cooperate on his shirt buttons. Gareth’s hands were on the bare skin of my back. He broke the kiss just as I managed to get his top two buttons undone.

“How the fuck do I get your dress off?” Gareth asked with a breathless laugh. “I can’t find a button or zip.”

I laughed with him, taking a step back. I grabbed the dress and in one movement pulled the dress over my head. Goosebumps hit my body as the air touched my bare skin. I felt a tug of nerves as Gareth stared at my body. I was amassing a collection of scars on my body. The latest one from where I’d had the emergency chest tube after Odessa was still red and angry looking on the side of my ribs. Gareth seemed to ignore them though, his eyes falling down onto the skimpy piece of material barely covering any essentials.

“I thought you might enjoy untying it with your teeth.” I gave what I hoped to be a flirty smile as I took a step backwards the bed. “After all, didn’t you tell me you wanted to see if you could make me scream?”

Gareth didn’t need any further encouragement. He closed the gap between us, quickly taking his shirt off and kicking off his shoes as he went. My heels were going to get in the way, so I toed them off. I kissed him again as I walked back to the bed. When the back of my legs hit to bed, Gareth gave me a gentle push down onto the bed.

My back hit the bed with a small bounce, making a breathless giggle escape from me. I enjoyed the view as Gareth fumbled with his belt and finally got his trousers undone. I’d seen plenty of photos of Gareth naked, but seeing it in real life was a different thing. With his muscle, he wouldn’t look out of place in the STRIKE locker room. He wasn’t huge muscled but had enough definition and leanness to him to make it very enjoyable to look at as he stood there in his boxers.

“Nice abs,” I said smartly to push away the nerves that were trying really hard to make themselves known. I crossed my ankles and put my hands behind my head, smirking up at Gareth.

“Same could be said for you,” Gareth said with a small chuckle as he got onto the bed. He ran his hands up my outer thighs, placing a kiss just below my belly button. He ran his lips across my stomach until he came to the ribbon on the side of my thong. “Did you buy these just for me?”

Gareth’s lips against the skin of my stomach made my brain short circuit. I had a hard time getting the words to come out in a coherent sentence.

“Yep.” I swallowed heavily. Every fiber of my being wanted his mouth to move a few inches south right now. “Like them?”

Gareth made a noise of acknowledgment before dipping his head down. His teeth grazed along my sensitive skin as he took the corner of the ribbon in his mouth, giving it a tug. The knot easily came undone, dropping the thong a little lower on my body. His hand came down to push the thigh high stocking on my leg down. I jumped as his fingers ran down the puckered scar on my thigh.

“Sorry.” Gareth looked up from his exploring. Even in the dim light the scar from Yelena stabbing me was visible. “That looks nasty. What happened?”

“Later.” I didn’t want to talk about it now. No doubt Gareth would want to hear about the collection I was amassing on my body. “With all of them.”

Gareth nodded, seemingly content with my brush off. He continued sliding the stocking off my leg, placing kisses as he went. With agonizing slowness, he repeated the sweet torture on the other side of my body. Once my leg as free of the stocking, he slowly kissed his way back up my inner leg. The open-mouthed kisses on my skin tickled and burnt at the same time. It felt like an eternity as he reached my inner thigh.

“I believe I promised to make you scream?” Gareth’s voice tickled my oversensitive skin. I squirmed in his grasp, wanting more right now. The nerves were gone and now all I could think of was how amazing it all felt.

“How are you going to do that?” I teased, feeling breathless as I looked down at a very smug looking Gareth.

“Not sure.” Gareth lightly nipped my thigh, making me jump. “Any suggestions?”

I didn’t get a chance to answer as Gareth moved between my thighs, grabbing the thong in his teeth and pulling it away from my body. The sudden and brief contact against the spot I very much wanted him to touch made me groan in anticipation and frustration.

“Tease.” I murmured. “I’ll pay you back for that.”

“And how are you going to do that?” Gareth asked, sounding very amused.

He interrupted my reply again. Except for this time it was what I was craving. HIs mouth came down on me. His tongue dragging across me very slowly made something between a curse and a moan escape from my lips. It was all the encouragement Gareth needed. There wasn’t any hesitation in his movements, he seemed to remember exactly how I liked it from my descriptions.

Everything became a blur very quickly. There was no gentle ease or build up into my orgasm. As soon as Gareth added his fingers, I was gone. It was so intense I think I blacked out for a few seconds. I’m not sure if it was a screaming moment or not because my brain was fried. When I came back down to earth, I was breathing like I’d run a marathon. Gareth had his chin resting on my hip, looking up at me with smug male pride written all over his face.

“Someone was paying attention,” I said with a breathless laugh. My entire body felt like jelly, none of my limbs wanted to work yet.

“You’re very specific and demanding,” Gareth chuckled as he moved up my body. “There was also the fleeting moment of worrying about my neck being snapped if I do a bad job.”

As soon as he was close enough, I pulled Gareth down for a kiss. In the moment of distraction, I hooked my leg behind his and flipped us over so I was on top. I grinned down at Gareth, very pleased at the look of surprise on his face.

“I wouldn’t snap your neck,” I teased, leaning down to brush another kiss on Gareth’s lips. “I’d just be bossy and demanding until you got it right.”

“What a horrible way to spend the night,” Gareth teased me right back, the sarcasm heavy in his voice. He wound his fingers through my hair, keeping me only inches away from his face. “Trapped between gorgeous woman legs making her scream my name. Not sure how I’d ever cope with it.”

“I didn’t scream your name.” I pointed out with a cocky smile. “Guess you’ll have to try harder next time. Speaking of hard things.”

As I spoke, I ground my bare body against Gareth’s boxers. His free hand came to grip my hip hard enough it’d probably bruise. I didn’t miss the sharp intake of his breath as I purposed rubbed myself up against his hard cock through his boxers.

“Should have taken them off.” Gareth sounded like he was having a hard time focusing right now. “Let me up so you can have your way with me.”

He released his grip on my hair and I scooted back far enough so I could get my fingers underneath the waistband of his boxers. Gareth didn’t need any extra encouragement, he lifted his hips making it easier for me. Unlike his teasing, I wasted no time in yanking his boxers off and throwing them off the bed. Right now I was very glad for the slightly awkward conversation we had the other day about needing a condom or not. It wasn’t the actual conversation that was awkward, more the fact Natasha had gone into his USAF medical files to look for me.

“Hopefully next time I can repay the favor.” I pushed that thought out of my mind as our bare bodies pushed together. Before Gareth could reply, I shifted so I was positioned over his cock. Whatever Gareth was going to say died on his lips as I sunk down on him. He wasn’t huge, but he was still thick enough that I felt my body stretch to accommodate him. I bit back a moan as I shifted, lifting myself off him nearly completely. Gareth grabbed my hips hard, keeping me in place.  
“I’m going to regret teasing you before, aren’t I?” Gareth was very out of breath as he looked up at me. I grinned in response, slowly lowering myself down on his cock again. Part of me wanted to have him slam into me and fuck me so hard I’d remember it every time I moved for days. But being in complete control and having him at my mercy right now was a lot of fun.

“Where would you get that idea?” It took a lot more concentration to speak than I’d ever admit. As I went lower on him, Gareth’s grip on my hips tightened. My own self-control was starting to slip and I quickly gave in. In one quick movement, Gareth was fully seated within me. It felt amazing. My body felt like it was on fire, all my nerve endings were screaming for me to move or do something to keep the sensations happening.

Gareth’s self-control was gone. His grip on my hips shifted against and he started to move. His thumb came up to brush off my clit and I could barely focus on anything except the sensations shooting through my body. The combination of him fucking me and brushing up against my clit had another orgasm rushing up to hit me again. It wasn’t as intense as the first one, but it was still strong enough that I saw stars. I was barely coming down from it when Gareth shifted beneath me and flipped me over onto my back.

“You’re a lot of fun to get off,” Gareth said with a breathless chuckle. I didn’t have the breath to reply, so I chuckled with him. It was swiftly replaced with a quiet moan as he slid into me again. I hitched my legs up so they were hooked around his waist, shifting the angle of his cock hitting me. My nails dug into his back as he wasted no time setting a pace that I was going to feel in the morning. It didn’t take long for his own strokes to become erratic and with his own guttural groan, Gareth slammed into me once more and came. I lightly stroked his back as he rode out his own orgasm. He half collapsed on me, sounding very out of breath.

Neither of us moved for what felt like a long time. The room was quiet except for the sound of both of us trying to catch our breath. It was Gareth who moved first, pulling back enough so he could kiss me. I smiled against the chaste brushing of our lips.

“I need to move.” Gareth sounded very reluctant despite his words. “I don’t want to squash you.”

“Tougher than I look,” I murmured, suddenly feeling very tired. It made Gareth chuckle quietly as he brushed a few strands of hair away from my face. I reluctantly untangled my legs from around his waist and Gareth pulled away from me. He didn’t go far, he rolled on his back and pulled me into him. I instantly cuddled into him. He was warm and solid, something I’d missed so much in the last few months. My entire body felt boneless as I lay against him, but I was very content.

“Sorry, I like to cuddle.” Gareth smothered a yawn. He pressed a gentle kiss against my forehead. “Am I going to annoy you if I stay a few hours?”

“Nope.” I closed my eyes. “I’m ordering room service for breakfast if you want to stay.”

“Sounds good.” Gareth’s voice sounded far away as he kissed me again. “Thanks for coming tonight.”

The smart ass joke I wanted to make was gone as I drifted off to sleep, feeling very content.

I woke up to an empty bed and a small hangover. I blinked away the last bit of sleep looking over at the empty space that I’m sure Gareth had been in only a few hours ago. I rolled over, looking at the clock. It was still early, only 0730. The sound of the shower starting drove away any developing thoughts of being left alone with Gareth saying goodbye. I was sticky from last night and still had my make up on, so a shower probably wasn’t a terrible idea. I got up and walked into the bathroom, not bothering to knock. Gareth poked his head out from the shower door, looking surprised.

“Did I wake you?” Gareth asked. His eyes seemed to have a hard time staying on up my face.

“Nope. Move over so I can join you.”

Gareth grinned at my demand, obediently opening the door. The steam from the shower was starting to fog up the bathroom already. I grabbed a face cloth before I stepped into the warm shower, scrubbing the remains of my make up off. No doubt I was going to break out for a week now after sleeping in my make up. But the sex had been worth it. As soon as I stopped scrubbing at my face, Gareth pulled me into a hug and dropped a brief kiss on my lips.

“What time do you have to leave today?” Gareth asked me, shifting so we were both under the warm spray of water. I closed my eyes, enjoying the stream of water on my back and being pushed up against Gareth’s naked body.

“Not until tomorrow.” I felt like I could go to sleep right here. The combination of the warm shower and Gareth’s arms around me felt like the perfect combination for sleep. “I didn’t know how much I was going to drink and I didn’t want to drive home if I was really hungover. Why?”

“I thought we might catch a movie or something if you wanted to?” Gareth’s voice wavered slightly as if was nervous. “Or lunch.Or you can kick me out when you’re done with me. I hate being the girl right now, but I have no idea where we’re going with this if I’m being honest.”

I laughed quietly at his last statement. We hadn’t really talked about the aftermath of what would happen after we had sex. This had the potential to get awkward if one of us wasn’t on the same wavelength.

“We are enjoying each other’s company when we can.” I dropped a brief kiss on Gareth’s lips. “With no pressure of anything further because we live 3 hours apart and both work crazy jobs.”

“Sounds like a plan.” The relief was clear in Gareth’s face as he kissed me back. Inwardly I was relieved as well. I’d hate to have an amazing night ruined because we got our wires crossed. “So what do you suggest we do?”

“I think you should see how strong you are and fuck me up against the shower wall,” I said with an innocent smile “Then we can order breakfast and eat it in the spa. Maybe after that we might be fit to be seen in public."

I had no idea where this sexy and confident part of me was coming from. But the look on Gareth’s face as he processed my words was well worth any niggling doubts I was feeling. A second later, I found myself pushed up against the shower wall with my legs hiked up around Gareth’s waist. With a pleased smirk, Gareth lent forward and kissed me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap this one ran away on me. I can't believe how long it turned out. I hope everyone enjoyed it! I'm pretty nervous about moving this forward like this.


	67. Chapter 67

“Stop it.”

“You stop it.”

“I swear I’m going to smack you if you keep doing that.”

“I would like to see you try.”

“Natasha.”

“Kari.”

Natasha drawing out the vowels in my name grated on the last of the patience I was feeling at the moment. I was tired, hungover and not feeling in the mood for Christmas at all. Which was unfortunate for me because it was Christmas Day. Natasha and I were on our way to Laura’s house to surprise the kids. Clint was a nervous wreck this morning so I’d been glad to leave him behind with Jared and Coulson. Unluckily for me, Natasha was also nervous which meant she was fidgeting with everything thing she could get her hands on. Her winding the window up and down 100 times had been the last thing to drive me insane. We were only 15 minutes into the hour drive.

“It’s going to turn out fine, Laura will be there for about 5 minutes so stop stressing because you’re making me start to stress.” I reached up and wearily rubbed my forehead. This all sounded great when I organised it. But now it was here, we were all nervous. It was the reason I was hungover this morning. What started off as a quiet drink to ward off any nerves about today turned into a heavy drinking session that even Coulson joined in. I wanted everything to be perfect. But this morning had us all hungover, tired and snappy at each other.

Natasha grumbled something under her breath at me as she slid down into the seat further. I could barely see her face with the hoodie she had pulled up over her head. I sighed and rubbed my forehead again. My head hurt far too much this morning for this. But I knew how Natasha was feeling. The churning of my stomach wasn’t just because of the half a bottle of scotch I drank last night, I was nervous as fuck about this all going off well.

The car was silent for a long time, long enough that I was sure Natasha had fallen asleep. The only sound was the radio playing a weird mix of country and Christmas carols.

“Did you get Laura a present?” Natasha broke the silence, making me jump at the sound of her voice.

“Yeah, why?” I glanced over to Natasha. She was still hidden in her hoodie.

“I got her one too.” Natasha’s voice was quiet and uncertain. “I’m not sure if she’s going to throw it at me or not.”

“She’s not going to throw it at you,” I reassured her. “She’ll probably cry in relief that you’re not mad at her.”

Natasha and Laura hadn’t really spoken since everything happened. Natasha was very hurt about the only family she’d known being broken up. It was hard because Natasha understood where Laura was coming from. She just hated that it had all happened. It was a hard thing to balance, so Natasha went for the easy option. She avoided talking to Laura completely.

“I’m past mad.” Natasha sounded the saddest I’d ever heard. “Now I just want to try everything to get them back together.”

“Me too,” I said quietly, glancing over at Natasha with a small smile. “Hopefully this is a good step in the right direction.”

“Sam got me a Christmas present.”

Natasha’s abrupt change of subject made me sit up a little straighter in the driver's seat. She was still hidden in her hoodie, not giving me any clue on what she was really feeling. No wonder she was in a mood this morning.

“What was it?” I asked carefully. Natasha had been adamant that they weren’t giving each other presents. Giving presents was getting too much into murky waters of their friends with benefits situation. But I knew about this.

“New sex toy that he can control with his phone.” Natasha finally pushed her hoodie back. She was keeping her face blank of all emotion. “I need to stop this, don’t I? He’s becoming a weakness.”

I chewed on my bottom lip contemplating how to respond to this. That present had actually been my suggestion to Sam. He asked me last week if getting Natasha a present was inappropriate. Sam was one of those annoying people who loved Christmas and he got presents for everyone so he really wanted to include Natasha. He’d even gotten me a book on female snipers in World War 2, along with a mini tasting scotch pack. I didn’t think Natasha would ever read into the situation like she was now.

“That was my suggestion.” I chose my words carefully. Natasha looked over at me with a raised eyebrow. “I didn’t think it was inappropriate for a fuck buddy. Gareth and I got each other something as well.”

Gareth had gotten me a spa voucher. After I found out he was a huge Star Wars fan, I’d gotten him a Darth Vader helmet decanter with a good bottle of scotch to go with it. I’d gone down for the night a few days ago, tolerating Jared teleporting me there instead of driving. It had been a fun night, despite the teasing I’d gotten from my Jared afterwards for using him to get to my booty call.

“I didn’t get him anything.” Natasha fiddled with the cord on her hoodie. “It didn’t even cross my mind to get him anything.”

Poor Natasha. I remember Clint had told me once that Natasha’s social skills took a long time to become what was considered normal, or even close to normal by most people’s standards. Discovering her own autonomy after the Red Room had been one of the hardest things she had to overcome. This was going to be one of those situations where she was wondering if she’d done something wrong. It was weird to be the one reassuring Natasha of something, not the other way around.

“I’m sure whatever he has planned for you and the new vibrator more than makes up for it,” I said tactfully. “If not, make sure you take over a good bottle of bourbon for him when we get home and he can lick it off your body.”

Natasha grunted in response, leaning forward to change the radio station. We were in the middle of nowhere so there wasn’t much choice. There was miles and miles of nothing but farmland in each direction. But she wasn’t arguing, so that was a win for me. I wasn’t going to touch the whole Sam being a weakness comment. Natasha was happy with Sam and from what I could see he was happy with their arrangement too. There was no reason to change anything simply because of a Christmas present or lack of in Natasha’s case.

The rest of the drive was quiet. It wasn’t helping with my nerves sitting in silence. What if all of this was a bad idea? We turned off the highway and took about 20 twists and turns down some back roads barely big enough for our car to fit on. I drove past the letterbox with Laura’s maiden name on it twice before we found the driveway. The GPS kept telling me it was 100 feet down the road and on the wrong side.

“Better text Coulson and let him know the GPS is useless.” I broke the silence as I turned down the dirt driveway. The car bounced as I hit a rut making both of us curse. Still, Natasha did as she was told as we slowly crawled up the tree-lined driveway. It felt like forever being shadowed by the huge trees before we broke out into the winter sun and the house came into view. The house was huge double story old fashioned style. The barn had seen better days, along with the house. But the scenery more than made up for that. There wasn’t anything but fields for miles. The mid-morning sun was weak but set a golden glow around the house and barn. It was beautiful. As I pulled up to the house, the dogs came bolting outside barking like mad. I could see the curtain in the front room open as someone peered out. A few seconds later, the front door flung open and 2 small figures came barreling out. Even with the windows of the car closed, I could hear Lila and Cooper shrieking our names.

It was all the encouragement Natasha needed. She opened the car door open and barely had time to get to her feet before Lila and Cooper barrelled into her. The stress of earlier was gone completely as the sound of the kids being excited we were here. Even Lucky and Lucy were jumping around while barking excitedly, trying to get in for a pat as well. As soon as I was out of the car, both the dogs jumped on me.

“Hello fur kids,” I laughed, patting both of their wriggling bodies. “Yes, I missed you both too.”

A second later, a little human body was clinging to my legs. I looked down to see Lila hugging me. Cooper was only another second behind her, grabbing onto the other side of me for a hug

“Hey guys.” I hugged them both as hard as I dared to. “Merry Christmas. Did you get anything good?”

A movement on the porch caught my eye. Laura had come outside and was watching the scene in front of her with a gentle smile. The kids were talking my ear off about their presents so far. Lila had attached herself to me, while Cooper had gone back to Natasha for another hug while he was trying to talk over his sister. I picked Lila up, hoisting her up on my hip. She was getting way too big to be held like this, but the way she was hugging me was worth it. I’d missed her so much.

“Let Kari and Natasha come inside,” Laura raised her voice to be heard over all the noise. “I think there might even some extra chocolate chip pancakes in the oven for them.”

Lila wasn’t letting me go, so I carried her up the 2 steps onto the porch listening to her excited chattering about everything. My nerves suddenly hit me as I came face to face with Laura.

She’d lost weight was the first thing I noticed. Laura was fairly petite in the first place, but now she looked thin. Despite the smile on her face, the dark circles under her eyes and a tight expression on her face made her look as nervous as I was feeling. Before I could open my mouth to say anything, Natasha came from behind me and grabbed Laura into a tight hug. In a second, Laura’s entire posture changed. All the nerves and stress from before melted away from her face and her entire body drooped in relief.

“Honey I’m home.” Natasha’s voice could barely be heard, but I still caught it. There was a little shakiness in it. “I missed you Senstra.”

“I missed you too, both of you.” Laura opened her arm so I could squeeze in for a hug too. Natasha’s grip was relentless, but I managed to squeeze in for a hug. Lila giggled, wrapping her arms around us as well. The world suddenly felt very right again. “Merry Christmas. Come in before we all freeze.”

Laura was such a mom. But she was right. I thought the weather would be a little more pleasant than DC. There wasn’t any snow yet but it was still cold. We let her usher us inside. The presents were with Clint, Coulson and Jared so there wasn’t anything for us to bring in. The kids hadn’t noticed the lack of presents yet, they were both still too excited about Natasha and I being here.

The house was still in various stages of being unpacked, but it still felt like home. The house was completely different, but with the same furniture as before made it feel a little like home again. The large Christmas tree in the corner added to the warm atmosphere of the new home. Laura ushered us into the open kitchen area. Like she’s said before, there was a huge plate of pancakes waiting in the oven for us. A pot of coffee was waiting on the bench and I’m sure if I looked in the fridge, there’d be a pitcher of orange juice. It felt like pancake Sunday mornings as we all moved in unison getting our brunch out. I got the pancakes out of the oven while Natasha helped the kids set the table. Even though I’m sure they’d already eaten, they were at the table and ready for round 2. Like I’d thought, the pitcher of orange juice came out and sat on the table with the coffee pot.

“Does this mean we don’t have to go to Grandma's today?” Cooper asked as we sat down. I looked over at his hopeful expression with a barely concealed smile. Natasha coughed into her hand, no doubt wiping her own smirk off her face. Cooper was like Clint and didn’t like his Grandparents too much.

“You don’t have to go to Grandma’s. Kari and Natasha are staying until I get home from work.” Laura confirmed as she dropped a kiss on Cooper’s forehead. He wrinkled his nose and squirmed away from his mother’s affection. “Can I put you in charge of handing out the presents after I’m gone?”

Any arguments that might have been brewing with Cooper quickly disappeared as he nodded eagerly. He hadn’t taken the move very well at all. Laura had said everything was a constant argument with him. But the promise of more presents seemed to keep him happy for now.

“Can you show Kari and Natasha how to feed Princess Penelope later?” Laura turned to Lila, giving her a kiss as well. “Horse food only. No more cookies.”

Lila pouted at the restrictions put on what she could feed her pony, but nodded as she gave Laura a hug. Laura looked at her watch and I heard her sigh quietly.

“Be good. All 4 of you.” The smile on Laura’s face turned a little less genuine as she looked around the table. Before I could say anything to reassure her we’d all be fine, Natasha got up and gave her another hug. I couldn’t quite hear what she said to Laura, but I’m sure I heard the word eggnog being mentioned. Laura looked a little happier as she pulled away with a nod to Natasha.

As Natasha sat back down, Lila and Cooper both launched into animated conversations again. Laura barely got a goodbye from both of them as she left. Lucky and Lucy were under our feet, begging for scraps as we ate. I snuck my phone under the table and sent off the text to Coulson that they were clear to head over. Once we were finished brunch, it took every bit of bribery Natasha and I could think of to hold off the presents for the moment. Cooper was instantly suspicious of our intentions. It was the first time I’d ever seen him rush through helping clean up though. I was out of things to keep the kids occupied when both the dogs perked up and started barking. Cooper’s suspicious expression instantly turned hopeful as he turned to Natasha and I.

“I wonder who that could be?” Natasha looked out the window, pursing her lips like she was deep in thought. “I guess we should go and see.”

The kids and dogs didn’t wait for Natasha or I to get to the door first. It was a mini stampede and I winced at the front door got slammed open with a lot more force than necessary. Natasha and I followed at a more sedate pace. Any doubts I had about today working vanished at the sight of Clint on his knees, hugging both his children. I smiled, even though I felt a little teary at the sight. Clint opened his eyes and gave me the most brilliant smile I’d seen in months. The mouthed thank you made every bit of stress over the last few weeks worth it.

Lila didn’t want to let go of Clint, but Cooper was more than happy to attach himself to Jared. As we unpacked the car of present and food, it started to feel like Christmas.

“Mom said I’m in charge of presents.” Cooper’s eyes lit up as lifted up the duffel bag overflowing with presents. “Can we do presents now?”

“Let us get everything in the house first buddy,” I said with a chuckle, reaching over to ruffle his hair. I swear he’d grown at least an inch since I’d last saw him. The kid was like a damn weed. “Then presents.”

My answer seemed to satisfy him for the moment. Cooper gave me a quick hug before bounding off after Clint. We had way too much food and probably too many presents, so it took another trip to empty the car. By the time we all sat down, both Lila and Cooper were vibrating from the excitement of more presents.

“Cooper, do you want to hand out the presents?” Coulson asked. It was completely unnecessary, Cooper was already up and digging into the piles of presents.

The piles of presents in front of everyone grew quickly. Clint’s Christmas shopping may have rubbed off a little on me this year. After my initial shop, I found myself buying a heap of little presents for everyone. Lila had been easy this year, anything for her pony was a winner. Luckily for me, everything for little girls and ponies was pink which was Lila’s current favourite colour. Unlike last year which was purple. Cooper was into building things and between the 4 of us, I think we got him every Meccano set we could find.

My own pile grew quickly. The homemade presents from Lila and Cooper were especially adorable with their awkward wrappings and painstakingly crayon drawn cards. Lila took about 3 presents before she started helping Cooper. Both of them were too excited and happy to argue about getting in each other's way. It didn’t take long for everyone to have a pile in front of them and neither of the kids needed any encouragement to start ripping into their presents.

To be honest, I didn’t need any encouragement either. My first present was a handmade snowman Lila had for me. He was a little lopsided and the smile looked more like an evil grin, but it was one of the cutest things I’d ever gotten. Lila was too busy ripping into her presents and squealing over her new pony gear to hear anything I had to say, so I kept opening my presents. We’d gotten each other the most atrocious Christmas sweaters we could find and there was plenty of hysterical laughter as we put them on. Mine was a hideous shade of puke green with what I think were reindeer and dancing snowmen. Nothing quite beat the horrible knitted Santa sweater Coulson had though. He laughed so hard he couldn’t breath when he opened it.

I was very spoiled this Christmas. I had so many gifts it was hard to keep track of them all. The standout for this year was Natasha. She did my trick from last year with a pair of red Manolo’s that I’d spotted one day. It was the last pair and for some reason, I couldn’t buy them right there. When I came back they were gone. The 4-inch heels were so impractical, but I loved them anyway. We’d all gotten each other the standard expensive bottles of our chosen liquor. While I could never top the present I got Coulson last year, one of the Captain America trading cards he’d been looking for years came pretty close. Clint had been one of the easier ones to buy for this year. He came up to me in the shop with a western DVD set and told me he wanted it for Christmas. Along with the Bluetooth headphones I got him, he was a very happy Hawkeye. Jared got his usual Apple vouchers along with a ridiculously priced bottle of vodka that Clint, Natasha, Coulson and I all chipped in for. With the price we paid for it, that bottle of vodka better be the best thing that has ever crossed Jared’s lips.

As usual with Clint’s cooking there was far too much food. It didn’t stop any of us from stuffing ourselves to the point of bursting. I had a feeling Clint was trying to make up for his missed Thanksgiving. I ate too much and after lunch, Natasha brought out the eggnog.The afternoon dwindled away with all of us not doing anything. Lila dragged us outside so she could play with her pony. Laura had been right about it being 100 years old and a cantankerous little shit, but she tolerated Lila’s fussing like every good pony should. Some snow started to drift in forcing us back inside after making sure Princess Penelope was tucked into her stable. When we got back inside Cooper had one of his Meccano sets out and was concentrating hard on building the crane. The rest of the afternoon was spent playing with presents and watching movies. I hadn’t felt this relaxed in weeks.

Night was starting to fall when I got a few minutes to myself to look at my phone. We’d have to leave soon, Laura would be due home anytime soon. The closer it got to time to leave, the more Clint was starting to look upset. A few hours, even though it was Christmas, was barely enough time to make up for the lost time over the last few weeks. My phone was looking full with Merry Christmas texts. The one that caught my eye instantly was from Pepper. I opened it up and was greeted by a photo of a pretty red and gold bracelet. It was a simple link bracelet, nothing outlandish or gaudy. It was perfect for Pepper.

_I have a feeling I have you to thank for this. Merry Christmas Kari. I loved your gift too! If you’re not busy for New Year, come out to Malibu. It’s a quiet party this year and I’d love to see you again._

I’d sent Pepper a gift box of luxury spa items. It was the same brand she sent me while in hospital so I had a feeling she’d appreciate it. I smiled at the message feeling very glad Tony had either made or found the simple bracelet. I didn’t get a chance to reply. A few seconds later my phone lit up with Laura’s name on the screen.

“Hey,” I answered right away.

“Hey, I’m stuck here at work,” Laura sounded stressed on the other end of the line. “I have no idea when I’ll be home.”

“We’re fine here.” The question didn’t need to be asked. Natasha and I were more than capable of handling the kids until Laura got home. “Don’t even worry about it.”

“Can…” Laura paused, taking in a deep breath. It took a few seconds before she finally got out what she needed to say. “I have a feeling I’m going to be really late. Everyone is welcome to crash there the night. There’s a snowstorm on the way and I don’t want anyone driving in it.”

“Are you sure?” I peeked outside. Sure enough, the snow flurries were starting to come in thick and fast now. It was probably the most snow this part of the country had seen in years. So much for the light dusting of snow that was forecast.

“No.” Laura’s voice came across as timid and unsure. “I may hide in my room all morning until Clint leaves. But I’ve already seen one car accident tonight. As much as I’m hurt, I don’t want to see him or any of you in here. There have been enough injuries for the year.”

“Tell me about it.” My hand went up to unconsciously rub my jaw. The car accident aftermath at Laura’s work must have been bad for her to worry about any of us out in it. “Same goes for you. If you need to, send a photo and get Jared to teleport you home. You don’t need to be driving in it either.”

“Thanks, Kari.” Laura sounded so tired. I felt a stab of guilt for her having to work on Christmas Day. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“I’ll make sure Coulson makes pancakes and bacon for breakfast.” My little jibe got a small laugh out of Laura before she hung up. It was something at least. This could be a step in the right direction for Clint and Laura. If they could become amicable, things would be a lot smoother. Hell, it might even be a step in the right direction for them patching things up. I went back to the living room where everyone was sprawled in front of the TV. Polar Express was playing and everyone except Lila looked like they were having a hard time staying awake.

“Laura has to work late and there’s a snowstorm coming,” I announced, making everyone look in my direction. “So we’re all staying here the night.”

It was like giving the kids and Clint a second Christmas. It also gave the kids a second wind, causing minor chaos over dinner. Not that anyone was too hungry after the huge lunch Clint had put on. But Lila and Cooper were both far too excited to even think about going to bed at a respectable hour. It felt like an impossible task, but Coulson was the ultimate Uncle and probably the only adult amongst us. He managed to get them both into their pyjamas, teeth brushed and under the blankets on the couch while we all watched Home Alone. Once 2130 hit, not even the half a dozen sugar cookies could keep Lila awake. She was asleep on Clint’s chest, her mouth hanging open and little snores coming from her every so often. Cooper valiantly hung on for another 15 minutes, but he fell asleep pressed up against Clint. It was an adorable sight to see them both cuddled up to him.

My phone buzzing in my pocket jerked me awake from the nap I didn’t realise I was having. The home screen of the DVD was playing. Around me, everyone else was asleep. Cooper and Lila were still cuddled up to Clint. Coulson was reclined in his chair snoring lightly. Natasha and Jared were squished together on the couch beside Clint. Natasha was asleep with her head on Jared’s shoulder. I had the other recliner chair. I smothered back a yawn as I pulled my phone out of my pocket. It was well after midnight. The text was from Laura. It was a photo of a deserted break room.

_If Jared doesn’t mind?_

“Jared.” I reached over and gently shook my twin awake. He took a few seconds to open his eyes, looking at me blearily. I held the phone up so he could see the picture. I’d mentioned earlier that Laura might need a lift.

“Yep.” Jared squinted at the picture for a few more seconds before carefully moving so he didn’t disturb Natasha. He took great care to lower her onto the couch slowly and gently. I was impressed that he managed to get her off him without even a twitch from Natasha. Jared handed the phone back to me once he was back on his feet. In the blink of an eye, he was gone. I barely had time to get out of my chair before he and Laura were both back. Laura wobbled on her feet, looking a little green at the sudden teleporting.

“Oh.” Laura froze at the scene in front of her. There was a long tense moment before she let out a breath, her shoulders slumping.

“I saved you some eggnog.” Despite the sleep clouding my brain still, I managed to think quickly on my feet. I gently took Laura's arm and tugged her in the direction of the kitchen. “There’s leftovers too. Come and get some dinner.”

Jared shot me a grateful look as we both left the room. At least I’d avoided a meltdown for the next few minutes. Keeping Laura in the kitchen would let Clint get the kids and himself to bed. Natasha and I had one of the spare bedrooms. Clint and Coulson were taking the one with the 2 single beds and Jared had the pullout couch. The house was huge with 5 bedrooms upstairs, so there was no shortage of room for us all.

Laura was quiet while she fixed herself a plate of leftovers. I poured an extra shot of rum into our eggnog, it felt like it was going to be needed.

“Thanks,” Laura said quietly as I handed her the glass.

I helped myself to a few sugar cookies before we sat down. The kitchen table was the same one from DC. It felt familiar, even if the settings were all different. We were silent, the only sound was Laura digging into her food. Judging by the way she was eating, she didn’t get a break today. There were some muffled sounds from upstairs, but they soon stopped leaving the house quiet.

“Busy day?” I asked once Laura was mostly through her dinner.

“Shit day,” Laura said with a small sigh. “There was a horrible car crash, only the youngest child survived.”

No wonder Laura didn’t want us driving anywhere. What a horrible thing to happen on Christmas day. I reached over and squeezed Laura hand in a small measure of comfort. It wasn’t much, but I got a more genuine smile out of her as she squeezed back.

“Thank you for this.” I couldn’t think of much else to say. Laura looked dead on her feet and ready to collapse into bed. “You’ve made all of us very happy to see the kids again. I’m sorry to make it awkward for you.”

“I’m sorry to be such a bitch about it.” Laura reached up to rub her eyes. “I’m not proud of how I’ve been acting. This is all one big fucking mess.”

“Little steps.” I gave Laura an encouraging smile. “After Riley died, you were the one who kept telling me that. Little steps may not feel like much but they all go towards big progress.”

“Ugh, don’t use my own words against me,” Laura said with a barely amused snort. “Speaking of big progress, I want to hear all about that in the morning. You’ve been a bit vague on the details.”

“I promise all the juicy gossip in the morning.” I hadn’t wanted to talk about what Gareth and I while all of this was going on. It felt like it would be a bit of an insult to Laura if I did. But if she wanted to hear about it, I’d happily share all the details. Natasha had been the same when I came back. We’d even ditched training on Tuesday morning afterwards in favour of gossiping over breakfast

“Good.” Laura smothered back a yawn. “As much as I want to sit up and catch up over a drink or 5, I don’t think I can keep my eyes open anymore.”

“Go to bed.” The yawning was contagious, except I didn’t manage to smother mine. “Tasha and I will keep the kids quiet in the morning so you can get some sleep.”

I nearly added she looked like she needed it, but managed to keep my mouth shut. I don’t know how she was juggling the kids and work. It was hard enough when Clint and the rest of us were around, let alone trying to do it at a single mother with her job.

“Goodnight.” Laura reached over and gave me a quick hug. “Thank you for everything again.”

“We’re family, its what we do.” I hugged Laura back. “No matter what.”

Laura’s eyes looked suspiciously bright when she pulled away. But she didn’t comment except for a tired smile. We put our dishes in the sink and quietly made our way out of the kitchen. Laura went upstairs first and I popped my head into the lounge room to check on Jared. In the dim reflection of the light from the hallway, I could see him fast asleep on the pullout couch. He wasn’t alone. Natasha was asleep, curled up to his side with her head on his chest. They both looked so peaceful in their sleep. I didn’t have the heart to disturb Natasha to come upstairs with me. A peaceful night sleep was something we all deserved as much as possible. I turned the hallway light off and used my phone as a guide up to the spare room. I got changed, curled up in bed, enjoying that I was smart enough to turn the electric blanket on a few hours ago when I made the bed. In the dead silence of the world around me, it was easy to fall asleep.

I was rudely woken up by two bodies jumping on me. One second I was asleep and the next I couldn’t breathe from Lila and Cooper launching themselves on the bed and using me as a trampoline.

“Wake up Kari!” Even Cooper was giggling as they bounced on the bed. “Dad is making waffles.”

“I’m awake,” I groaned, narrowly avoiding a foot in the face as Lila flopped down on me again. “I’m awake. Get off me you little monsters before I tickle you both.”

The shrieks were near ear-splitting as I sat up to grab the nearest child. I was purposely too slow so they both got off the bed. All it took was me pretending I was about to leap out of bed and they were both running out of the room. I flopped back down in bed with a sigh. The clock next to the bed read 0645. I should have known there was no chance in hell I’d get a sleep in today. If I stayed in bed they’d be back, probably with reinforcements this time. With a lot of effort, I got out of bed, got dressed and headed downstairs. Surely enough, Clint was standing in the kitchen with a pile of waffles on the bench already. Natasha, Jared and Coulson were sitting at the table. I glanced out the window to see Lila and Cooper outside bundled up in their winter coats feeding Princess Penelope. There was a good dump of snow on the ground. It was still grey outside, looking like there could be more snow on the way.

“Morning.” I walked to the bench and poured myself a coffee and dumped a slightly obscene amount of vanilla creamer into it. I got various grunts of acknowledgement from everyone. The second my ass hit the chair a loud scream came from upstairs. It wasn’t a childish shriek, it was a grown woman screaming.

Clint was the first one to bolt upstairs, the rest of us only a second after him. As I got up the stairs, Laura came running out of one of the rooms with a towel around her and her hair dripping wet.

“The fucking shower head just exploded,” Laura said through chattering teeth. “I just got drenched in ice cold water and now it won’t turn off.”

Any kind of awkwardness from Clint and Laura seeing each other for the first time was quickly thrown out the window. Clint was all business as he went into the ensuite in the main bedroom. A few seconds later, there was a very undignified yelp from Clint and some colourful cursing.

“Someone turn the water off!”

It was minor chaos for about 5 minutes. None of us could find the main water switch while the ensuite was slowly flooding. I was the one to finally find it half-buried near the electricity box. By the time we got the water turned off, there was an inch of water covering the ensuite. As bad luck would have it, the drains were clogged as well so none of it was draining away.

Laura, Natasha and I were surveying the damage from the doorway while the men attempted to get the drain unclogged so they weren’t kneeling in an inch of ice cold water.

“I suppose I better find a plumber who will come out.” Laura sighed heavily as she looked over the mess in her bathroom. “This is going to cost a fortune.”

“Don’t be silly,” Jared spoke up, he paused as he reached down into the water again looking thoughtful. A triumphant smirk appeared on his face as Jared gave something a solid yank. A second later, he was holding up what looked to be about 40 years worth of hairballs. Jared pulled a disgusted face as he realised what he was holding. “We’ve totally got this.”

“There’s a hardware store in town, isn’t there?” Clint asked as he stood up. He was shivering and completely drenched.

“Towels.” Laura pointed to a small cupboard next to the sink. “I doubt it’ll be open. You’ll have to head into Covington.”

I looked between the two of them, watching for any signs of awkwardness. Right now both of them seemed to be too intent on the job at hand to worry about anything else.

“We’ll head to Covington then.” Clint went to the cupboard and pulled out towels for all of them while he spoke. “It’s a burst water pipe from the cold. It's an easy fix. I can have it done in a few hours if you want.”

Clint was doing well to choose his words carefully. He was leaving everything up to Laura to decide right now. It felt like an eternity while the two of them locked gazes. Clint looked perfectly calm, but Laura wasn’t doing so well at hiding her emotions. She looked so torn right now. The earlier calm of before was long gone as both of them tried to keep their emotions in check in front of each other.

“Take Cooper with you,” Laura finally spoke, she attempted to put a small smile on her face. It wasn’t quite genuine, but at least she tried. “He’ll die if you go to Home Depot without him.”

Clint looked like someone who had just gotten every wish of his come true. The elation on his face couldn’t be hidden. I caught a glimpse of Coulson’s smile just before he used to towel to wipe his face. Jared was actively avoiding looking in this direction as he dried his hair. His hair that hadn’t gotten wet. I was glad I was standing behind Laura because there's no chance I could have hidden my triumphant grin.

“We’ll get this cleaned up and then head to Covington.” Clint cleared his throat, the look on his face switching from elated to uncertain. “I made some waffles and blueberry sauce for breakfast. There’s plenty there.”

Waffles with blueberry sauce was one of Laura’s favourite things for breakfast. Clint always made it for breakfast after he’d been away. I’m not sure if it’d been a subconscious move on his behalf, or he was doing something nice for Laura. Either way, it made Laura smile a little more.

“I’ll get the kids fed while you clean up.” Laura was all business now. “And put another pot of coffee on.”

Natasha and I exchanged a gleeful look behind Laura’s back. Maybe an exploding shower head might not be such a bad thing after all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At last, this chapter finally came together! Sorry everyone. I had a diagnostic surgery earlier this month (which was a waste of time but that's an entirely other story) and thought I'd bounce back from it quickly. Turns out my body had other ideas. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this! It was a cute little chapter which unfortunately kept reminding me I really, really need to start doing my own Christmas Shopping. For those who celebrate Thanksgiving, I hope you had a wonderful holiday.


	68. Chapter 68

“If you give me anymore weapons, I’m not going to be able to move,” I said dryly as Clint tried to hand me a third knife. I already had 2 in my boots. Not that I was going to need them, or at least I hoped not. 

“You need to be prepared for anything,” Clint argued, pushing the knife handle into my hand. “Where’s your ammo pouches?”

I pointed to the pile on the ground that were stuffed to the point of bursting. We were in the armoury while Clint was helping me outfit for the training exercise I was about to go on. Our Christmas trip to see Laura and the kids had ended up extending until New Years Day. What was going to be a simple fix in the bathroom ended up in Laura getting a new bathroom. The water had damaged the floor, so we all pitched in ripping it all out and replacing it. While he was there, Clint re-tiled everything and installed a better shower. There’d been plenty of awkward moments between Clint and Laura, but they’d kept amicable for the sake of Lila and Cooper. There wasn’t any progress between Laura and Clint looking like they might fix things between them, they did work out a schedule for Clint to visit. A weekend a month at this stage was better than nothing at all. 

“And you’ve already fitted your AWSM with the paintball convertor?” Clint asked me for the 4th time.

“Yes dear.” It was very hard to not roll my eyes at Clint. He was making an incredible fuss over me. If he kept going we were going to miss our takeoff. Clint and I were flying to Lewis-McChord base in Washington State where everyone was meeting. From there I’d go with the team I was put with to our undisclosed location for the training exercise. 

“And the P30?” Clint eyed off the sidearms sitting on top of my AWSM case. “You know, we could probably give you a bow as well. You can take the one I use for these kind of things.”

“I don’t need a bow.” While I was flattered of Clint’s offer to trust me with one of his bows, I doubted I’d have any need for it. “Come on Barton, we have to go. Coulson will never trust us again if we’re late for this.”

Coulson was overseeing Jared’s first mission back in the field. Natasha and Jared had been assigned a very boring surveillance mission in Tokyo. While Coulson’s supervision for the mission wasn’t exactly necessary, he’d insisted being the one to see Jared back in the field. I thought Jared might be having doubts about being back in the field, but he was excited to be getting back into it. It still didn’t stop me worrying about him. 

“Body armour?” Clint frowned at the pile I had. It was something I hadn’t thought about grabbing. “At least some of the light weight kevlar so you aren’t covered in welts from the paintballs.”

“Says the person who never wears his,” I joked as I went to the rack where all the STRIKE body armour was hanging up. We all had our own personal body armour which was custom fit. I hadn’t used mine in so long it had cobwebs on it.

“Do you not remember hobbling around for a week and a half after Natasha shot you with the chalk round?” Clint crossed his arms, an amused smirk playing on his face though he was trying to hide it. “Paintballs hurt a thousand times more.”

I shuddered remembering how much it’d hurt that day. I’d never seen such a colourful bruise in my entire life after Natasha had shot me point blank with a chalk round. That was a year ago now.

“I will be a good girl and wear my kevlar.” I brushed off the cobwebs and threw the vest on the pile of gear I had. “Not that I plan on getting shot. I’m STRIKE Team Delta and untouchable.”

“That’s my girl.” Clint looked so proud of me. “Don’t forget, you can use your powers on this exercise. Your invisibility should help a lot if they run it like when I did it.”

Clint had explained to me while we were at the archery range yesterday that most of the time these kind of exercise were attack and defend teams. You’d either be attacking a complex or defending one. It didn’t change much, so it gave me a small insight into what I might need to do. The teams were carefully chosen, so it’s likely I’d be the only sniper on whichever team I was put on. 

“I will.” I nodded eyeing my pile of stuff. Along with my bag of personal belongings, there was a lot of shit we had to carry to the Quinjet. “Are we done here?”

“We’re done.” 

I blew out a small sigh of relief as I started to pick up all of my gear. I’d have to pack it all properly while I was on the Quinjet. But at least we weren’t going to be late. Clint grabbed some of the heavier stuff, along with my personal bag.

“If you use the collapsible bow…” Clint began but got cut off with a withering glare from me. “Hey come on, even you have to admit your archery is 200 percent better than it was this time last year. You should show it off.”

“I have a very demanding teacher,” I said dryly, picking up my AWSM case. “I’ve never done it under pressure, so I don’t want to make a fool of myself by pretending I’m a female Hawkeye.”

Clint wrinkled his nose but didn’t argue against my point. He wasn’t wrong though. While we hadn’t been cleared for the range, Clint had really stepped up my archery training. I was getting very confident over longer distances and moving objects. I could even rapid fire 5 arrows in a row now without losing accuracy. But the only pressure I’d ever been under was Clint’s teaching. I wasn’t quite ready for a training situation yet. It’d probably be another year before I’d be ready for a real-world situation. It was still fun doing it to show off though. 

My nerves started to kick in as we walked to the Quinjet hanger. Clint kept me talking so I didn’t have a chance to ponder on it too much. It was an odd feeling of swinging between nerves and excitement. There’d been a few jealous grumbles amongst STRIKE when the guys found out I was doing this exercise. Apparently, Exercise Black Bag was one of the most fought over training exercises to get picked for. In my usual oblivious fashion, I hadn’t known about it until Coulson slid the folder across the desk that day. 

It seemed to only take minutes before we were in the Quinjet. While I stowed my gear away, Clint ran through the pre-flight. Both were like second nature to both of us now.

“There are days I regret teaching you to fly,” I teased, settling into the co-pilot seat. “I never get to fly when you’re with me anymore.”

“Yeah, but I don’t make your airsick so you can’t complain,” Clint teased me straight back. “Even though you will.”

“Loudly and bitterly,” I said smartly. “Just like you do when I fly.”

Clint laughter made me smile broadly. He’d been in such a good mood since this last week. The good mood had been contagious and further improved with me spending last weekend with Gareth. It was another fun weekend of great sex and going out. We caught up with a few of the pilots at a bar on Saturday night. It ended up being a little bit wilder than anticipated, but I had so much fun. The fact I won every single pool game didn’t hurt either. Clint had laughed his ass off at my texting commentary while I was winning all the games. The only downside to the weekend with Gareth is that he’d gotten his overseas tour approved. He was leaving at the end of February for 3 months. It was disappointing to realise I was losing my fuck buddy so quickly. But it was one for 3 months. I’d gone without sex for that long before, it wouldn’t kill me now.

I slumped back in the co-pilot chair as Clint took us out onto the runway. It was a 5 hour flight today and I really needed to get a nap in before we got there. I hadn’t slept well last night, I’d been on and off awake all night with nerves and excitement about today.

“So what else can you tell me about this?” I asked, pulling my sunglasses down as we broke out into the early morning sun. 

“Not much.” Clint looked thoughtful as he flipped a few switches on the Quinjet. “Sleep when you can. Kick some ass. Coulson left some Ambient and stimulants if you need either one of them. They do like to fly or drive you around for hours in blacked out vehicles for hours to confuse where you’re going. Sometimes you end up in Canada, other times 5 minutes down the road.”

“I’m going to need that Ambien if I’m flying for 15 hours with another pilot in god knows what kind of plane.” I smiled over at Clint. “Did you already stash them in my bag?”

“Of course,” Clint said with a chuckle. “In your front compartment.”

Air Traffic cleared us a second later, cutting off the thank you I was about to say. Beneath us the Quinjet’s engines power increased for take off. Clint and I wore near identical expressions of joy as the power kicked in on the Quinjet. With a rumble of the engine, we lifted into the blue morning sky. No matter how many times I did it, there was always a thrill hitting the power and soaring into the air. It would be more fun if I was flying, but I trusted Clint. 

It was a beautiful morning. There was barely a cloud in the sky and you could see for miles. I watched the city fall away underneath us as we climbed to altitude. 

“So do I call you for pick up once I’m done?” I turned back to Clint once we got too high to see the scenery any longer. 

“No.” Clint shook his head. He hit the autopilot so we could talk. “I’ll be in command watching everything. You’ll wear body cam and all the communication comes back to command. So I’m basically Coulson for the next few days.”

“That sounds like you’re going to be bored out of your mind,” I said with a small wrinkle of my nose. At least Coulson is used to things like this. Clint was liable to shoot someone if he got too bored. Or if they said anything bad about me.

“It’s either be bored watching you kick ass or sit in your apartment by myself.” Clint’s expression mirrored my own. “At least I can laugh at a bunch of spec ops guys get their asses kicked by a 120 pound girl.”

“I’m 126 right now,” I tried to sound indignant but it was hard to hold back my smile. It was good to see Clint in a happy mood. Truthfully I’d been a little worried about Clint being left by himself. I remember all too well about what happened to me when I thought I’d be fine left alone. He may be putting on a smiling face for the outside world, but I saw the bad days while we were alone. It’d taken Laura a week to agree on another visit. That week had seen Clint as quiet and withdrawn as he first was when it all blew up. The only thing that made him smile was his nightly phone calls with his kids. 

“So do you want to try and get some sleep now or talk tactics?” Clint asked.

“Tactics.” I was too wired to sleep right now. From what Clint was saying it sounded like I was going to have ample time to have some sleep on the other end. Then again, knowing my luck I could be up for the next 48 hours and really regretting my decision not to sleep now.

The flight flew by as Clint threw scenarios at me and how I’d react to them. Or how I’d send a team in. It was a lot of fun, mainly because I actually felt confident these days on how I’d handle the situation. Short of a full scale alien invasion, Clint and Natasha’s training could get me through nearly anything. 

We got cleared to land as soon as we hit the airspace. As we taxied into the spot given for the Quinjet, there was already a car waiting with a figure in fatigues leaning against it. 

“That’s Colonel Smith, he’s head of running it this year,” Clint explained as he powered down. “Don’t expect a warm greeting. He’s an asshole. Or he was when I had to deal with him. Ex Delta and he hates STRIKE.”

“Great.” This wasn’t helping my nerves which had kicked in again. “Here, let me get all my shit out so he can probably have a dig at me for being a typical woman and packing too much.”

Clint gave me an apologetic grin but did as he was asked. It was partly his fault I had so much stuff anyway. Between us, we got all of my stuff and stepped out into the freezing morning. I huddled into my coat a little more as we walked across to the car and Colonel Smith.

“Morning Sir,” I greeted him as we got close enough. I hoped being pleasant might offset some of his so-called attitude. “Thank you for meeting us.”

“Agent Lyngley,” Smith nodded at me politely. “If you want to stow your gear, I’ll take your straight to your team. Agent Barton, someone will be along to collect you momentarily.”

At least there was no nasty jabs at me. I put my gear in the trunk of the car and turned to Clint. I was feeling a little lost already and I hadn’t even left him yet. 

“Don’t be an asshole,” I switched to Russian to cover my increasing nerves. “I’ll see you when it finishes.”

“Kick some ass,” Clint replied in the same language, giving me a pat on the shoulder. “Like I know you will.”

Here’s hoping. I gave Clint a small smile before climbing into the passenger seat. It was weird going off on my own. I’d always had someone I knew with me during my missions in SHIELD. Now I was very alone stepping into something I’m not sure I was prepared for despite everything I’d just done with Clint on the flight here. There was no going back now so I may as well put my big girl pants on. I squared my shoulders taking in a deep breath. I could do this. 

“Do I need to warn your team to be on their best behaviour around you?” Smith asked me gruffly as we pulled away.

“They can be on their worst behaviour if they feel like it, Sir,” I said honestly. “I was a fighter pilot before STRIKE. I’m more than capable of handling whatever they feel like throwing at me.”

My answer seemed to satisfy Smith. He gave me a curt nod and turned his attention back to the road. It was awkward sitting in the car in complete silence. The radio wasn’t even on. Smith was ramrod straight in his chair as he drove. I couldn’t tell if this was him being normal, or he really wasn’t pleased about my presence. Luckily the car trip only lasted 5 minutes. 

“This is you.” Smith jerked his head in the direction of the building. It wasn’t much, just a portable building seemingly out in the middle of nowhere. “You’ve got a few more people to show up. Orders will come through when everyone is here.”

“Thank you Sir.” 

I really had too much shit to carry by myself. I threw my personal bag on the ground first and took all of my weapons and tactical gear first. Smith didn’t make a move to get out and help me. Not that I expected him to. He watched me very carefully as I made my first trip with all my weapons. As soon as I got to the door, he peeled away from the kerb. While he wasn’t friendly, that could have been much worse. I opened the door and the noise from inside came to a complete stop at the sight of me in the doorway. There were already 5 guys here, all in fatigues. The room had a row of beds and a few chairs scattered around. Nothing else.

“Are you lost?” The nearest guy asked me with an arched eyebrow.

“Unless Colonel Smith dropped me off here as a joke, no I think I’m good.” I walked over to the closest bed and dropped my AWSM case on it. The silence in the room was unnerving. I could feel the 5 of them watching my every movement as I carefully placed the rest of my gear on the bed. 5 sets of eyes followed me as I went back outside to get my bag and back in the room again. 

“Agent Lyngley.” I dropped my bag on my bed, turning to face the guys in the room before things got really awkward. “STRIKE Team Delta.”

“Oh.” One of the guys sitting the furtherest away from me snapped his fingers. “That’s where I know you from. I was in Bagram when Stark went missing as well.”

All of a sudden the mood in the room shifted from suspicious to friendly. 

“Lance Corporal Glover.” The guy who asked me if I was lost got up first and offered his hand.”MARSOC.”

MARSOC was Marine Special Operations Command. These guys were as tough as they come, just as well trained as the more well known special forces. I took his hand with a smile and a firm handshake. This might not be so bad after all.

“Staff Sergeant Houston,” the next guy introduced himself, reaching over the table to offer his hand to me. “Air Force Combat Controller.”

I was with some impressive company already. Combat Controllers were the special operations of the Air Force.

“Nails,” the third guy remained seated, lounging back in his chair looking like he didn’t have a care in the world. “1st Airborne.”

The company just got even more impressive. This guy was a Green Beret. I didn’t have time to be impressed, the other two guys introduced themselves.

“Corporal Clay. ANGLICO.”

The Air Naval Gunfire Liaison Company was a group Riley often spoke highly of. They were always in the shadows of SEAL’s, but their groups were seriously deadly with any kind of fire power. 

“Nizzo,” the final guy reached over to shake my hand as well. “SEAL.”

“Colour or number?” I asked automatically as I shook his hand. A question I’d picked up off Riley. He would have been so proud of me being here right now. Maybe even a little jealous. He’d done this exercise the year before I’d joined SHIELD according to Clint. 

“Number,” Nizzo gave me a small laugh. “You know only SEAL’s usually ask that question.”

“There is no shortage of ex spec ops in STRIKE,” I skirted around the real explanation. “Trust me, there’s plenty of dick waving about who’s better.”

That made everyone in the room laugh. I relaxed a little more, pulling up a spare chair to the table. That could have gone a lot worse. Sometimes the reputation that followed STRIKE Team Delta was an advantage. We were legends, even to these kinds of guys. I might be intimidated as fuck by the company I was surrounded with, but Clint and Coulson wouldn’t have let me come if they didn’t think I could handle it.

“We were just talking about what our units have been doing the last few months,” Glover explained as we all settled around the table. “So, is STRIKE Team Delta too classified to talk about?”

“Two thirds of our team, which includes me, have been on medical leave since November, so, unfortunately, I have nothing exciting to add,” I said with a wry smile. “Sorry. I know people expect explosions and thrilling espionage stories when they hear about us but we’ve been pretty boring these last few months.”

“Bummer,” Glover said as everyone laughed. He looked genuinely disappointed too. “What happened?”

“Broke my jaw and a few ribs on a mission.” I lounged back in my chair. “Perfect timing to have my jaw wired together for Thanksgiving.”

My sarcastic remark got some more chuckles from the guys. 

“Was that a mission near Odessa?” Nizzo looked a lot more curious than the other guys. I expected the attention to switch to someone else after my boring answer. Everyone instantly turned back to me.

“Yep,” I confirmed. While I had no idea about everyone’s clearance levels, gossip ran through each service pretty well. People would know some of the bare details of what happened. Or the wild stories that seemed to come from those bare details. 

“I heard some wild rumours about that mission.” Nizzo didn’t bother to cover his curiosity. Now everyone was looking at me. 

“I smashed my face into the dashboard of the car.” I stretched the truth again. “I don’t really remember anything.”

It felt like I was beginning to sound like Clint talking my way around things. Technically I wasn’t lying. My face had taken a beating, but it wasn’t by the car. If I ever saw our ghost assassin again, I wasn’t going to repay the favour of breaking his jaw before I shot him. 

The door opening made everyone look up, taking the attention off me. A guy in civilian clothes walked in with a bag slung over his shoulder. The rest of the guys all looked older than me, but this guy barely looked like he was old enough to shave. 

“Hi,” the newcomer said, not looking perturbed about 6 people staring at him. “I’m Agent Carson, Special Activities Division.”

Ugh. Why did I end up on the team who got the CIA guy? I’d met a handful of agents in SAD while in Bagram and all of them were arrogant assholes. They had an even worse reputation than STRIKE for it. The guys all did their introductions again and when it came to me, Carson was giving me a strange look.

“Agent Lyngley, STRIKE Team Delta.” 

“I’ve worked with your brother? I think it was.” Carson’s face lit up in recognition as we shook hands.

“Tall, blonde and as arrogant as they come?” I asked. Not that it really narrowed it down with Lyngley’s in SHIELD. Most of us were tall and blonde. The arrogant part was all Jared though. When Carson nodded in confirmation I added. “My twin is a Specialist.”

“So do you have powers too?” Carson put his bag on the floor and sat in the spare chair closest to him. If I thought the attention on me the Rizzo was asking about Odessa was bad, now you could hear a pin drop in the room as everyone stared at me. 

“Yes.” I forced myself not to squirm under the stare of the room. “Before you ask, no I don’t teleport. I’m not that cool.”

My comment made everyone to laugh again. It didn’t help how uncomfortable I felt about being asked so openly. Not even Bravo team ever openly asked me to do stuff with my powers. Having a complete stranger bring it up in a room of people I didn’t know felt very weird.

“That would have come in handy,” Clay piped up. “What can you do?”

“It’s a surprise.” I darted around the question, yet again. “Well, maybe. If it comes in handy I might show off.”

It didn’t take a genius to work out I was being evasive because I wasn’t happy with this line of questioning. Nails took the initiative to change to topic.

“So you look like you’re about 15.” Nails put the spotlight on Carson. “I didn’t think the CIA recruited high schoolers. Especially not SAD.”

The wink Nails sent me was so quick I nearly missed it. I hid my smile behind my hand at the gentle dig at Carson. It seemed like I had an ally. Not that Carson seemed like he was being rude on purpose, just curious.

“I’m 29 actually.” Carson didn’t seem to mind. He looked too excited at the company he was in to notice the jab at his baby face. “I was ISA. HUMINT and then I went to the CIA.”

Intelligence Support Activity was a top secret Army intelligence unit. HUMNIT was the human intelligence side of the unit. They were very similar to Specialists. Carson probably had the highest clearance level out of all of us. I wasn’t the only one who looked impressed at Carson’s credentials. Looks could certainly be deceiving. I didn’t doubt under that carefree and excited expression, this guy was studying every single one of us. He’d be exactly like Natasha and be looking for people’s weakness and strengths. Out of all of us, he was going to be the one to watch. I don’t know why, but I had a feeling that I couldn’t trust him. There was something off about the smiling guy in front of me.

“How many more people do we have coming?” Carson asked as he sat back in his chair. 

“No idea,” Glover said with a shrug. “You know as much as the rest of us. “We were all comparing cock sizes and then Lyngley walked in.”

“Please, don’t let me stop you,” I spoke up before anyone else could get in with a smart ass comment. “I’ll grab some tweezers if it helps.”

The light mood of the room from before came back as everyone laughed. Small cock jokes always worked in this kind of company. From there the conversation went into a lively banter, mostly the guys hanging insults on each other. It was fun to sit back and listen to it. It wasn’t unlike listening to the STRIKE guys having stupid conversations in the locker room. It made the next few hours pass by without being stiflingly boring. 2 more guys joined us in those hours.

Private First Class Egan from FAST. The Army’s Fleet Antiterrorism Security Teams. FAST tended to get a bum rap from a lot of special operations guys, considering they were only Infantry members. But they had a very special skill set. Egan had biceps the size of my head, so I doubted anyone was going to talk shit about his unit from our group. 

The last guy was Moritz. He was from the LAPD SWAT. It was a big mix of services and specialities. Putting a group of highly trained individuals together was either going to be a deadly combination or a time bomb. We’d only find out when the pressure was on.

Moritz had only introduced himself and barely got his ass in the chair before the door opened again. This time it was Colonel Smith walking in, carrying a box.

“You all have 5 minutes to turn off cells, computers and any personal devices. They all go on this box,” Smith’s voice left no room for arguments. As he got to the table, the box he was carrying got dropped on the table. I wasn’t the only one to jump when it landed with a louder than expected thump. “Your mission briefing and maps are in here. Get to it.”

No one needed to be told twice. Houston grabbed the box and pulled out the contents while the rest of us went for our personal gear. My cell was already off. I had already let everyone know I was going dark for a few days before I went to the armoury. Some of the guys were still frantically typing out text messages or emails by the time I put my phone in the box. I grabbed the first mission briefing folder I could get my hands on and went back to my chair. 

I flicked the folder open and scanned the contents of the first page. A smile crept onto my face as the first few words jumped out at me.

Our team was the attacking squad. This was going to be awesome fun. 

Smith left without another word as everyone settled back down in their chairs to read the mission brief. The only sound in the room was the occasional page turning. I was the first one to finish reading the brief, so I went through it again to make sure I didn’t miss anything. The actual mission parameters were very simple. Storm the compound and clear the buildings. The team with the most people standing at the end would be victorious. 

But on the second read through, I started to find problems. We didn’t know how many people were on the other team. The only pictures we had of the compound we were attacking was a satellite image that didn’t give any great detail. It looked like an old fashioned castle from above. The outside wall had a walkway around it and the middle of the compound looked like a maze of small rooms connected to each other. The terrain around it was mostly cleared for at least a mile in every direction before turning into lightly treed forest. It was going to be hell sneaking up on it. 

“Suggestions?”

It was Nails speaking up. I was glad someone decided to take the initiative first and get the ball rolling on these plans. According to the mission briefing, we had 4 hours until we were flying to god knows where. It would be 10 hours of flying and another 3 hours drive to drop us off at our rendezvous point. It might sound like a lot of time to plan, but it really wasn’t.

“Do we have a terrain map?” I asked when no one else put in any suggestions. “Because judging by the satellite photos, it looks like it’s going to be hell to sneak up on.”

There were murmurs of agreement as Nails dug through the pile of maps on the table. He found the requested map and spread it out for everyone to see. I got up out of my seat so I could get a better look.

While it was still well cleared around the compound, the actual terrain was hilly. The compound was situated in a small gully, so at least when we got there it’d be easy to get eyes down into it. Our biggest problem was going to be the compound and surrounds were a sniper’s wet dream. There was a perfect line of sight all the way around, despite the hilly terrain. Anyone trying to get down there would be picked off very quickly. I didn’t doubt the marksman on the other team was going to be anything less than brilliant. 

“What’s the weather report for where we’re going?” Nizzo asked while I studied the map. 

There were more pages being shuffled around before Clay had the answer.

“Snow and fuck loads of it. How fun.” The sarcasm was heavy in his voice. The mention of snow made all of us groan. Not only were we going to be cold, it was going to make things harder sneaking up because you’d see footprints. Shooting paintballs in freezing temperatures was going to take some adjusting for accuracy as well. The extra weight of frozen paint could be problematic, especially if it decided to start melting unevenly. The only good thing about snow is that it could be easy to camouflage yourself. 

“If we come up through this little stream we’ll be able to hide our footprints…”

I tuned out as I grabbed the ruler, compass and one of the pens that had been left with the maps. My calculations weren’t going to be perfect but I could at least calculate where the sniper was going to be. I was so grateful for the Air Force drilling map reading skills into us pilots, despite it nearly being obsolete now with our technology. As I drew lines of sight and firing positions, the picture became a little clearer where we might be able to come from. I was focusing so hard on the map, I didn’t hear realise I was being spoken to until someone tapped me on the shoulder. 

“I’m kind of busy right now.” I didn’t bother to look up. The room fell silent as I finished the last few lines. I tilted my head, squinting at the lines I’d just drawn. Without knowing the perfect layout of the compound, some of it was guesswork. But I’d found our way in. “That’s where we go in.”

I really hoped this map was up to date. The line I pointed to would need to use every single tree on the way for cover. If they’d been cut down, my plan would go to shit. But there was a small opening if we came in from the west. There was enough cover to hide 2 or 3 people. If whoever was defending was smart, they’d have someone on that section of the wall. But there as a decent enough line that nearly anyone could get a decent shot off. It was a big gamble though. I was only going off what I would do if I was the sniper defending the compound. 

Everyone either nodded or said their agreement about my line where to go in. Inwardly, I sighed in relief. All these guys were far more experienced than I was, I’m glad I got it right and no one was disagreeing with me.

“So, we can get to the wall but how do we get in?” Nizzo pointed out the next obvious problem. “That wall looks 20 foot tall with no way of climbing it. Even if we take out the sniper and whoever is up on the wall, we can’t just breach the front door. It’s a maze in there. They’ll have NVG and all the same gear we’re packing. They also have the advantage of knowing the hiding spots.”

Nizzo wasn’t wrong there. If it was me, I’d take a rope, go invisible to climb up it and make sure the outer wall was clear before letting the rest of the team climb up. Then you could storm the inner rooms from all angles. The team defending would be expecting a breach of the front door. But they wouldn’t expect someone to come in from the wall and attack from all sides. Fuck, this whole thing would probably be easier if I simply went invisible, went in by myself and took everyone out. But the lone gunslinger thing was frowned upon, we had to play as a team.

“Lyngley, do you have something we can use to our advantage?” Carson asked. He’d been quiet during the part of the exchange I’d been listening to.

“Yeah, I could get in there and take everyone out without them knowing what hit them,” I said with far more confidence that I was feeling. I didn’t miss the eye roll coming from Houston and Clay at my cocky statement. “But my handler told me to play nice and not make the grown men cry.”

“And?” Nails asked, politely covering his own snigger of amusement. At least someone thought it was funny. He, Nizzo and Egan seemed to be the only ones amused by it. The other guys were either looking confused or not impressed by my ego at all. 

“I can get the wall clear. If it was me, I’d have guys here.” I quickly switched my ego off, pointing to the compound. I had no place in getting cocky here. If my plan was good enough, they might not ask too many questions. “Here and here. Then we can come from all angles and do a surprise attack.”

“How are you going to get up there without being seen?” Nails saw straight through my attempt to distract them from the topic I was avoiding. “Come on Lyngley, no bullshit here.”

Carson was watching me very intently. I bit back my sigh of frustration. He was about to get his question from before answered whether I liked it or not. There was no hiding it now, I may as well spit it out. 

“I can go invisible.” I had to force the words out, trying not to show how uncomfortable I really was. “So, I can get up there and clear the wall. No one will know what hit them.”

The silence that followed me was near deafening. People always had mixed reactions when they realised you were Enhanced. Some people thought it was cool while other people treated you like you were contagious with a deadly disease. This could be the start of the entire team avoiding me for the next few days.

“That is way cooler than being able to teleport.” To my surprise, it was Carson who broke the silence with a small laugh. “We are going to kick ass.”

In an instant, the serious mood was gone. It was such a relief to have all the suspicion fall away and the rest of the team look happy to have me there. I felt a smile come back to my face. Carson was right, we were going to kick some serious ass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to break this one up so it didn't end up being a monster of a chapter. Plus there's the advantage of updating a little bit quicker! 
> 
> Thanks for all of your support, kudos and comments. It makes my day getting any of them.


	69. Chapter 69

“That’s not funny.”

I stopped in my tracks and stared at the ancient looking C-130 in front of us. It looked like it could have been one of the original ones built. I doubted this thing would get off the runway, let alone fly for the next 10 hours.

“Are we seriously flying in that thing?” I had to raise my voice to be heard. A vicious wind had whipped up on the runway. It was so strong I could see the aileron’s moving up and down. The groans coming from the aircraft didn’t help any of my nerves about this.

“Not all of us have half a billion jets at our disposal.” It was Clay behind me, who gave me a gentle push towards the ramp. “Just take some Ambien and sleep through it like the rest of us.”

“I’m usually the one flying,” I said through gritted teeth but I forced my feet to keep moving. “Trust me when I say flying sucks when you know everything that can go wrong.”

Clay laughed at my response but didn’t do any bullshit platitudes. There was no reassuring me about flying anyway. It was only now it had become a problem. It’d been too busy the last few hours for me to get worried about not being the one flying there. Not only did we have to go over our plans, there were checks and re-checks for everyone’s gear. We had to request snow camouflage and thermal gear. Luckily for me, I already had thermal gear because the extreme weather gear that we got provided didn’t take into account my skinny size 4 ass. The teasing has been merciless as I had to tie a knot in a belt to make it small enough for me to wear. 

Clay and I were the last ones to jog up the ramp of the C-130. Everyone else had already chosen a spot and made themselves comfortable. I found the closest spot to the ramp and unslung my AWSM off my back. I’d packed light, only keeping my AWSM and both P30’s with a few spare magazines. I’d need speed and agility rather than being weighed down by anything that wasn’t needed. The MRE’s we’d been provided had already been eaten. The chicken and rice weren’t sitting in my stomach very well. But the chocolate and energy gum I’d put in my ammo pouch would come in handy later.

As the ramp started to close, I reached into my pocket and pulled out the Ambien. Around me, everyone was doing the same, stretching out over the seats or on the floor. None of them looked concerned at all about the creaks and groans coming from the aircraft as it started up. I raised the pill to my mouth and dry swallowed it. As the plane got nosier, I pulled my shooting earmuffs down and the noise faded into a gentle hum.

Unfortunately, the noise was the only thing gentle as the C-130 started to move. It took about 2 seconds before I was strapping myself into the seat as tightly as I could manage. I closed my eyes, gritting my teeth as the vibrations increased. 

“You good over there Lyngley?”

I’m not sure who it was that spoke. But the laughter was clear in their voice. I simply raised my middle finger, while gripping onto my harness for dear life with my free hand. I could feel myself losing circulation with how tight I was holding on. The vibrations underneath me increased and my stomach started to do somersaults as I felt the plane speed up. Unlike the Quinjet, there was nothing thrilling about the power increasing in the C-130. I put my head back, squeezing my eyes shut as hard as I could as we lifted into the sky. As the plane climbed to altitude, the chicken and rice MRE started to climb back up my throat.

I swallowed back the uncomfortable feeling of wanting to vomit. Fuck, I hated this. I really should have taken the Ambien before I got anywhere near the C-130. At least then I wouldn’t be sitting here worrying about puking everyone and making an idiot of myself. It took another few minutes before the C-130 levelled out. Only then did the chicken and rice seem to slowly crawl back down into my stomach. Besides the sound of the C-130 flying, the plane was quiet. Most of the guys were already asleep or close to it. The only one awake was Nizzo, he was slumped in a chair reading a book. I put my head back against the seat, blowing out a long slow breath. We were up in the air and hadn’t crashed yet. Things could always be worse. I did in a few more deep breaths to calm myself down. I had a big trip ahead of me and I didn’t need to be a bundle of stress because of my control freak nature with flying. As I focused on my breathing, I felt lay body get heavier. I smothered back a yawn, mentally sending Coulson a thank you for getting to Ambien approved for me. I was out like a light before I could stress any further.

I woke up with a jerk. It took a second to process that we’d just landed and the C-130 was slowing down. I was still in the position from before and as soon as I went to move, my back and neck started bitching about being in the same position for 10 hours. I groaned, unbuckling my harness. I felt groggy and disorientated. Maybe taking the full Ambien was a really bad idea considering Nyquil usually did the trick for me. I didn’t have time to sit and ponder my mistake, everyone else was up and getting ready to move. I forced my heavy limbs into action, fighting back a jaw-cracking yawn. What I wouldn’t give for a pot of coffee right now.

At least I wasn’t the only one looking half awake. Everyone was either yawning or looking like a zombie. It was a good thing we had a long ass drive to our rendezvous point. At least it would give all of us time to wake up. Once the ramp lowered, we all jogged down onto the runway. Where ever we were, it was dark now. My poor body had no idea what time it was. All I knew was that it was dark and I was not happy about being awake. A bus with blacked out windows pulled up as we disembarked. There was no fucking around, we were straight into it. The blast of hot air from the heater as I stepped into the bus was a nice change from the freezing conditions. I stripped off my weapons along with my top layer as I found a seat. The warm bus quickly got way too hot with all of my thermal gear on. I was going to melt if I kept it on. I started to strip another layer of clothes off.

“Do we really need it to be 110 in here?” Carson muttered as he sat down in front of me. He was pulling his layers of clothes off as well. Once he got down to his t-shirt, I couldn’t stop myself staring at his arm muscles. He wasn’t my type of guy attraction wise, but damn he had nice arms. All of the guys had nice bodies actually. I’d snuck in some looks of them while we all changed into our gear. We all looked like we were definitely in the peak of condition. 

Once we all got settled, the bus drove off. It was a long, boring drive without being able to look out of the windows. Everyone was quiet, except for the odd conversation that would pop up. We all knew our jobs and it was a case of resting as much as possible until we got there. I dozed a few times thanks to the lingering effect of the Ambien. Once the bus driver announced we were 30 minutes out, it became a hive of activity. Everyone was wide awake and getting dressed again. I ate my entire chocolate bar to get some caffeine to get me moving a quicker. 

“You ready to hit the ground running?” Nails asked me as I pulled my kevlar on. 

Nails and I were going ahead to scout. The rest of the team would follow once I was ready to make my move. It was odd a lot of this mission was counting on me. If I didn’t do this right our plan was going to go right out the window. 

“Yep.” I didn’t have much else to say. I mentally ready to go about an hour ago. Right now I could feel a bundle of nervous energy start to spread giving me the energy to get going. I put my jacket on over the kevlar, feeling instantly sweaty in the heat of the bus. The rest of my weapons and ammo webbing went over my jacket. The last of it was my night vision googles along with a GoPro mounted on the side of my helmet which would give a live feedback to the base. It was an extra weight I didn’t want to have. The night vision wasn’t exactly necessary for me, considering I already had it on my scope. But I didn’t have Clint’s excellent eyesight to guide me through the darkness this time. I’d have to be like a normal person who couldn’t see in the dark.

The bus came to a screeching halt as I was adjusting my throat microphone and headphones. We’d definitely had the good gear for this mission. Nothing was as good as SHIELD’s earpieces but this was the next best thing. I’d leave both of them turned off until I was ready so I didn’t have to listen to the rest of the team. Without waiting for Nails, I was off the bus and already looking down at the GPS. It was 2 miles east to where I’d picked as my lookout point. The landscape around us was a dense forest. A good few inches of snow lay on the ground but the sky was clear. You could see so many stars out here, it was breathtaking. But it was also well below freezing. My face felt immediately frozen within seconds as I hurried to pull my balaclava up over my mouth. At least I’d remembered Riley’s good cold weather shooting gloves in my gear. The thin gloves kept my hands warm without compromising any feel.

“Jesus fucking christ its cold,” Nails swore behind me. I could hear his teeth chattering as I turned to see him hurriedly getting his gloves on and pull his own balaclava up over his mouth. It was so cold that every lungful of air felt like needles stabbing your chest. Jogging to our location wasn’t going to be fun. 

“Ready to go?” I asked, shifting from foot to foot to get myself warm. Nothing could ever prepare you for this type of weather, no matter how well outfitted we were. 

“Ladies first.” Nails motioned towards the dense forest. 

I double checked the GPS before pulling down my night vision. I blinked a few times to adjust to the green lit up world before me. Without waiting for Nails, I hitched up the AWSM up a little higher before taking off at a jog. The first mile and a half was a steady jog weaving through the trees. It was eerie being out here with nothing but my own breathing and Nails’ quiet footsteps behind me. The forest was completely silent. No birds or creatures stirred as we made our way east. The terrain was rough going. There were plenty of hills and small gullies, it slowed our progress down as we had to scramble up nearly on hands and knees up some of the steeper icy slopes. My legs and back ached by the time we slowed down towards our approach. The last half a mile would be done very slowly and carefully so we didn’t tip off anyone about our approach. 

“How are you holding up back there?” I asked Nails quietly as we slowed down for our approach. He’d start to lag behind the last few minutes. I could hear his ragged breathing from my position a few feet in front of him. I slowed down to a walk so he could catch up.

“I thought I was fit until I’ve had to chase you up and down these fucking hills,” Nails grumbled as he came up beside me. He stifled a cough behind his hand. “I’m not sure how you do it carrying your own body weight in gear.”

“I’m not that skinny,” I said with a snort of laughter. I briefly lifting my night vision goggles to wipe my sweaty face. “I’m also really out of shape. If it makes you feel any better, my legs and back are killing me.”

I was out of breath as much as Nails sounded. I was just good at keeping it under control so I didn’t sound like my lungs were on fire.

“Oh good, you are human after all.” Though his voice was gruff, there was a teasing tone behind it. “I thought you were going to keep sprinting and take on the compound yourself.”

“The thought did cross my mind,” I said with a small smile. “But my handler will kick my ass for not being a team player. So here I am playing nice.”

A muffled laugh was the only response I got. Nails fell behind me as we started our careful approach down the last gully we should come across. The forest was starting to thin out around us making it hard to keep covered all the time. There was no moon tonight so it made our white and grey snow camouflage stand out on the landscape. The hilly terrain was a small blessing in that regard. We’d be well covered until we hit the lip of the next hill. I wasn’t taking any chances though. As soon as we hit halfway up the last hill, I went down onto my stomach and crawled the rest of the way. It was cold and highly unpleasant inching forward over the icy ground. The sweat from jogging here felt like it was freezing on my body as I inched along. There was no quick way to do this. If I rushed, I was risking both of us being exposed before we could get any useful intel. 

It felt like hours before we got to the top of the hill but in reality, it was probably less than half an hour. The careful approach had been worth it. Besides a few trees and a rocky outcrop, there was no cover at all. We crawled to the outcrop and inch by careful inch, I took the AWSM off my back and very slowly set it up. I held my breath as I slid the muzzle over the top of the rock. I shifted so I could look through the scope. As I got my eye near the scope a distinctive crack came through the air. I grabbed Nails and yanked us both down below the rock. 2 seconds later, there was a sharp sound of a bullet hitting the rock and the resulting bang from the delayed sound of a rifle.

“Bastard.” I couldn’t help but chuckle. Someone was clever and had anticipated us using this area for a lookout. No doubt the other sniper was already up poised and waiting for one of us to pop up again. I tapped Nails on the shoulder to get his attention. “Stay here. I’ll be back in a minute.”

Nails gave me a silent thumbs up. I slid back away from the rock outcrop and closed my eyes. My heart was still pounding from the shock of hearing the bullet come for us. I knew it was only a paintball and not going to kill me, but it still got the adrenaline pumping. I took in a few deep breaths to focus on what I was about to do. On my last breath, I concentrated on my power. The invisibility slid over my body easily these days. It wasn’t such a big struggle to maintain it like it used to be. Looking down all I could see was the snow where my body should be. I looked at Nails who was still staring at the spot I was in.

“That is the coolest shit I’ve ever seen,” Nails said quietly as he continued to stare at me, though he wouldn’t know it. “You still there?”

“Yep.” The sound of my voice made Nails jump. “I’m going to go climb a tree and shoot that smart ass.”

“Good hunting,” Nails acknowledged me with a small wave. 

After crawling to our not so hiding spot, it felt good to be able to walk without fear of being seen. I scouted the area until I found a tree I could easily climb. The tree was huge and solid with enough branch coverings that I should be easily covered by the time I was halfway up. I shed off all of my extra gear, including the night vision goggles to make climbing easier. I was tempted to leave my helmet along with the GoPro on the ground too, but I’m sure I’d get in trouble for it. Without the night vision and counterweight on my head, I already felt 100 pounds lighter. It took a few seconds for my eyes to adjust to the dark of the night. While my eyes were adjusting I took my outer jacket off so the bulk wouldn’t get in my way while climbing. I didn’t plan on being in the tree long enough to freeze to death. It was almost comical to see my gear becoming visible once it touched the ground. I made sure everything stayed hidden behind the tree in case the sniper was still watching. No doubt he’d be keeping his eye on the rocky outcrop because of no movement from the area. 

I pulled myself up onto the first branch easily. As much as I hated pull ups it came in handy right now. I was able to easily climb up the tree until I found the perfect spot. Three-quarters of a way up the tree there was a solid branch that had could easily hold my weight. I slid along the branch as far as I could. There was a hole in the foliage large enough I could poke the AWSM through without an obstruction. I let go of my invisibility so it was one less thing to concentrate on while I set the AWSM up. Despite the awkward position, I had the AWSM set up and I was looking through the scope in 30 seconds. The night vision of my scope was almost blinding after being in the dark for a short time. I blinked a few times before everything came into clear focus.

The compound really did look like an old medieval fortress. Through my scope, I could see the old crumbling brick walls clearly. The walkways around the wall only came to waist height so I could see around it easily. It was shrouded in blackness with no light sources coming from anywhere I could see. The other team had 4 guys on the wall, one on each corner. In the far corner, there was a raised room, almost looking like a bell tower. It didn’t take a genius to work out that’s where the sniper was going to be positioned. The tower was pitch black and it looked like it was empty, but I knew better. I kept my eye trained on the position and waited. Nothing else mattered as I stared down the scope at the darkness 900 yards away. I couldn’t feel the cold or the rough bark of the tree against my skin. It was an absolute stillness to my mind and the rest of the world as I waited. It could have been a minute or an hour, I wouldn’t know. But I finally saw what I needed.

A brief flicker of movement. 

It as all I needed. The world slowed down as my finger went on the trigger. I adjusted my AWSM ever so slightly and squeezed the trigger without hesitation. The sound of the AWSM going off was near deafening in the quiet night, despite my hearing protection. My eyes stayed glued to the scope until there was a small blob of bright green paint appear. A second later a middle finger got waved in my direction from the other sniper. As he moved in the darkness, I could see the paintball had hit him in the head. It was a perfect kill shot. 

“Sucked in,” I said with a smirk as I returned the gesture. I doubted he’d be able to see it, but it was satisfying regardless. Now the sniper was out of the game, it was time for phase 2 of the plan. 

I climbed back down the tree as quickly as I could. My adrenaline was pumping as I grabbed my P30’s from my pile of gear. I didn’t bother with anything else except for spare magazines for the P30’s and rope as I went invisible again. I reached up and turned my throat mic and headphones on, opening the communications channel.

“Sniper is down. I’m moving onto Phase 2.”

I barely heard the corresponding responses from my team. I was already jogging down towards the compound and had turned my throat mic off anyway. There’d been something catch my eye as I checked the layout while I was in the tree. I barely felt the distance as I jogged across the snow-covered ground. I went straight to the furthermost corner from me near the tower where the sniper was. I thought I’d seen a glint of metal as I scanned the area before. My suspicion was right, there was an old ladder leaning up against the wall. It looked old but sturdy enough. It was probably put here on purpose as a temptation to do something the easy way. I didn’t hesitate, I went straight up the ladder. On the last rung near the top, I gave myself a second to take in a few deep breaths. My blood was roaring in my head and I was pumped. I needed to calm down otherwise I’d do something stupid. Adrenaline wasn’t going to help me in a situation where I needed to be calm. This was only going to work if I kept the element of surprise.

“Has anyone heard from Panther?”

The unknown male voice above me made me still. I double checked I was still invisible before looking over the edge of the walkway. A dark figure was walking down towards my position. He paused with his hand to his ear like he was trying struggling to hear whoever was replying. I quickly used his moment of inattention to my advantage. I cleared the wall and fired the P30 twice. The silencer kept the sound to a minimum. The bullets hit their intended mark a second later, one in the head and one in the chest. Both instant kills. The guy who I’d shot staggered back with a grunt of surprise and a muffled curse. The rules were anything that was considered an instant kill shot meant you had to stop everything you were doing instantly and turn off all your communications. It was effectively the same as if you were actually shot. 

Whoever he was turned to kick the wall angrily as I slid past him with him being none the wiser. He probably thought he’d been hit by a sniper since he couldn’t see me. The muffled sounds of the P30 silenced could have been mistaken for a far away shot. I didn’t waste any more time contemplating his fate though, I still had 3 other guys to kill.

My booted feet barely made a sound as I walked down the walkway with my P30 up and ready to fire again. I didn’t have to wait long, someone came jogging straight right at me a few seconds later. He got the same treatment as his teammate. It was a perfect double tap. I was a little closer to this guy so he felt the full force of the paintball being slammed into his head and chest.

“Fucking cunt.” He swore as he dropped to the ground clutching his chest. “Where the fuck did that come from?”

I could hear boots coming down towards me so I paused in my tracks. They were making it far too easy for me. I held my P30 up and waited. 2 more guys came around the corner a few seconds later and both got a paintball in the head as a reminder not to rush into a situation. I smirked to myself as the disgruntled looks on their faces as they realised they were both dead. I went to take a step but something wrapped around my ankle, keeping me in place. As the shock of it, my invisibility dropped as I was yanked to the ground. I hit the hard ground with a barely concealed yelp of surprise. It was a good thing I was pretty wired on adrenaline otherwise it would have hurt like a bitch hitting the concrete that hard.

“Cheater.” The second guy I’d shot growled. He’d been the one who’d grabbed my ankle. I didn’t have to think to react. My free foot came around and connected with his face. I heard the crunch of bone under my boot. He released me with a curse and I shot him in the face with a paintball for good measure. Fucking asshole. 

“Who’s the fucking cheater now?” I taunted as he rolled on the ground, clutching his face. “Stay dead now, there’s a good boy.”

Hearing a female voice always seemed to have a good shock factor. The silence that followed my taunt let me slip away into the darkness again. I’m sure all 3 of them were watching me but I didn’t look back. I wouldn’t put it past the idiot who grabbed me to cheat again. I went invisible again, jogging along the length of the compound. The rest of the wall was clear. I let out a small sigh of relief and give myself a moment to catch my breath. That had gone better than I could ever expect. I lent against the wall and turned my throat mic back on.

“All clear down here,” I said as it crackled to life. “Come to the corner where the tower is. There’s a ladder.”

“Copy that. Good job Lyngley.” 

I couldn’t pick who’s voice it was, but the praise made me smile. This wasn’t over yet though. My team still had to get here safely. For all I knew I could have walked into a trap. I went invisible again, struggling a little bit to maintain it this time. As I jogged past the 3 soldiers who I’d shot together, I put another paintball round into the chest of the asshole who grabbed me. The three of them were leaning against the wall, talking to each other. It was comical to see them all scramble as he got shot again. I couldn’t help myself, I went visible for a second and flipped him off. 

“Fuck you too bitch.” The guy who I shot gave me the finger as well. I didn’t need to be an empath to feel the hate dripping off him as he glared at me. “Just you wait until we’re finished.”

I didn’t have time to turn around and taunt him back. I had no doubt there was going to be a heated exchange when we were finished. I still had a job to do so I couldn’t stand there and tell the asshole to bring it on. I kept jogging and came back to the ladder. On my trip around I’d noticed there was only one stairway that lead up from the rooms below. It was directly across the compound from where the ladder was. There was little doubt the rest of the defending team would know things had gone silent up top. They hadn’t sent anyone else up here yet, so my guess would be they were going to use the maze of rooms downstairs to their advantage. It was going to be hell to breach. The only advantage we had was the ability to use infrared on my scope. It was useless at long distances as every little thing was visible. But it would be helpful at this distance guiding the team through the maze downstairs once they got down there.

Everything was quiet as my team made their way to me. Nails had been thoughtful enough to grab my jacket that I’d left discarded under the tree. I wasn’t feeling the cold at all but I pulled it on knowing full well I was probably half freezing even if I couldn’t feel it. Like a well-oiled engine, everyone got into their positions. I took my AWSM off my back and set it up on the wall so I could look down into the vast maze of rooms downstairs. Tapping the button on the side of my scope I peered into the darkness below. 

Like any decent team with training, the men below were on the defensive. There were 8 of them down there in teams of 2. They were well spread out but they had every corner of the compound downstairs covered. It was like seeing unmoving outlines as the men down there patiently waited for our team to make the next move. A movement out of the corner of my eye caught my attention, it was Carson coming to kneel down beside me.

“Is this a bad time to say I’m not fond of heights?” Carson muttered under his breath. 

I held back my snort of amusement. Instead of going down the stairs and be sitting ducks in the open the team would use ropes to rappel down below. This side was still well covered and it wasn’t going to be an easy breach, but the element of surprise should be on our side. With well-practiced movements, the ropes needed to rappel down were tied off and the first of my team were over the edge. As soon as the first few were down, my attention went to the heat signatures in the closest room.

“2 guys,” I murmured. “On your 3 o’clock.”

“Copy that.”

I couldn’t quite make out who it was over the radio. But through the scope, I could see the mass of my team walk carefully to the first room. I could hear the heavy breathing and the whispered commands through my headphones as they came up to the target room. I held my breath as everyone got into position to breach. There was a whispered command and the action was on. It was over as quickly as it began. The sheer number of our team was too overwhelming for only 2 men. It took about 30 seconds for them to clear the room and move onto the next one.

After the excitement of me being first in the building and taken out half the team by myself, it was rather anti-climatic for me to stand up the top and guide them to the next target. The next 2 rooms were cleared in the same fashion and there was a very brief firefight with the remaining guys. Sheer numbers overpowered the last 2 men standing and it was over. An all-clear came over the radio a few seconds later.

We’d kicked the other team's asses. I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face as I finally pulled my eye away from my scope. While it felt like hours, it couldn’t have been more than 45 minutes since I downed the sniper. It only took another minute before the lights got turned on around the compound. After being in the dark for so long, it felt like my eyeballs were being seared in the sudden brightness. Floodlights lit up the entire outer wall and all the way into the forest. I pulled my helmet off, wiping away the sweat on my face before it frozen there. Now it was all over I could feel the adrenaline start to wear off. My legs and back were burning from the run here. My left hip throbbed where I’d hit the ground after the other guy had grabbed me. But other than the aches and pains, I was relatively unscathed. 

“Kari?”

I turned to see the other sniper reach the bottom of the tower. I knew that face and suddenly a name from before clicked in my head. I’d been concentrating on my task at hand before to recognise the nickname.

“Hey Mike,” I smiled as he walked over to me. Mike’s nickname of Panther should have clicked in my head a bit quicker. He was the sniper on Riley’s old SEAL Team. We’d gotten along quite well in our time in Bagram. “It’s good to see you.”

“You too.” Mike pulled me into a hug. My smile grew as I hugged him back tightly. “You look heaps better than when I last saw you. Nice fucking shot too. Where were you?”

“I hope I look heaps better than last time. I was hiding in a tree,” I said with a chuckle as we both pulled back from the hug. “I’d almost say the same about your shot, but you missed me by a mile.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Mike waved off my teasing with a laugh. “How’d you heal up?”

“Still getting there.” I wrinkled my nose. By habit, my hand went up to rub my jaw. “I finally get my fucking elastics off next week that are aligning my jaw or so I hope. No permanent damage though.”

Movement out of the corner of my eye made me glance over to the stairs. My team and the rest of the other team were walking up. The sound of laughter carried across the night air easily. Despite being losers, there didn’t seem to be anyone too upset over getting their asses kicked.

“Good and your friend Natasha?” Mike had noticed the teams coming up too. He motioned towards them as he spoke. I nodded and lifted the AWSM up and started to pack it up. This part of it was always the hardest. Despite being light, after a mission it still felt like it weighed 100 pounds once all the excitement wore off. 

“She’s back on a mission now too,” I explained as I packed up as quickly as possible. “The shot of hers went straight through and missed everything vital. We were both lucky.”

“Very lucky,” Mike said, raising his eyebrows in mild surprise at my explanation. He patiently waited until I was finished packing up my AWSM before falling into step beside me. “So, how did you land this training exercise?”

“I honestly have no idea,” I said with a laugh. “It was well worth my punishment.”

“Punishment?”

I took the rest of the walk around to explain the story behind Rumlow and mines prank war and the resulting aftermath of me throwing the flashbang and smoke grenade in the men's shower. Mike was laughing so hard by the time we go to our other teams, he looked close to having tears running down his face. The humour was short lived. As soon as I reached the other ground, I got roughly shoved back a few steps. I looked up to see the guy who’d grabbed me after I shot him. 

“Who the fuck do you think you are bringing tech like that into the field?” He spat at me, the venom clear in his voice. His face was a mess from the paintball shot and dried blood from me kicking him in the face. “Fucking SHIELD operatives thinking they can do anything they want.”

“Oh stop crying like a little bitch,” I growled back, instantly on the defensive. I had enough energy to kick this guy’s ass if it came to that. Though it was funny he thought it was some advanced technology that let me do it. Both of the groups had gone silent at our little altercation. “You’re just pissed off because you got your ass handed to you by a girl.”

I saw the punch coming from a mile away. A blind man could have easily avoided it. My hand went to my belt and unsheathed my knife in a heartbeat. I dodged the punch and had my knife at his throat before he could blink. Time froze as he realised I wasn’t fucking around and it was a sharp blade pressed against his throat. It had happened so fast I felt myself go from mildly annoyed to ready to stab the guy in less than a second. My temper went through the roof quicker than it ever had in my life. 

My victory was short lived as someone grabbed me around the waist and pulled me away from my attacker. Whoever it was managed to lift me off my feet and drag me back out of reach. Egan from my team had yanked the other guy back out of reach too. It didn’t stop me spitting out a few nasty curses. The guy who attacked me called me every derogatory name under the sun as he was pulled back far away from me.

“Okay kids play nice.” Someone from the other team stepped between us raising his voice to be heard over our cursing at each other. “Ramirez, fuck off out of sight before she shoots you for real. SHIELD, calm the fuck down.”

Ramirez shoved Egan off him and stormed off in the opposite direction. 

“Yeah you walk away,” I yelled after him, my temper still boiling from our little encounter. “Fucking pussy.”

“Okay, let's take you away to cool off.” It took a second to realise it was Mike who’d grabbed me and pulled me away. He still had his arms around me and easily lifted me off the ground as he started to walk backwards. It took a few steps before my temper had died down sufficiently to stop struggling in his grip. I hadn’t even realised I’d been doing it. Mike wasn’t a small guy. Any attempt to get out of his grip was pretty futile. 

“I’m good.” I let out a long shuddering breath as I stopped struggling. “I promise I won’t run off and shove him off the wall.”

“You sure about that?” There was a tinge of humour in Mike’s voice, though his grip didn’t relax. 

“Positive.” I did another long and slow breath. “He is not worth me being out of the field for the next 3 months and having to teach stupid pilots again.”

Mike laughed at my bad attempt at humour as he released me from his iron grip.True to my word I didn’t pursue the asshole. Luckily for me, Mike seemed to be happy to keep me company. A few guys from my team drifted towards us while we waited for our pick up. It took an hour before the distinctive sound of a Quinjet came from above. I looked up in surprise to see the jet lowering onto the open area around the compound. The tail number was the same one that Clint and I had flown in. Considering it’d been a 10 hour flight and the 3 hours in the bus, Clint had gotten here awfully quickly.

No one wasted any time in getting down to the Quinjet. While it had warmed up slightly, clouds were blowing in thick and fast. It didn’t take a meteorologist to know a snowstorm was going to hit us soon. As soon as I got into the Quinjet, I stowed my weapons and went straight to the pilot seat.

“How does it feel to play taxi?” I joked as I gave Clint a nudge. “Move over.”

“What?” Clint’s mock look of outrage brought a smile to my lips. “No, thank you? No, ‘Barton you’re the best in the world for teaching me how to kick 200 pound special forces guys asses in one movement’?”

Clint raised his voice so that everyone on the Quinjet could hear him. The only one not laughing at the joke was Ramirez. He shot Clint a dour look before throwing himself down into the chair. In the light of the Quinjet I could see the damage I did to Ramirez’s face. In the short time, his nose had swelled up and you could see 2 black eyes spreading across his face. He’d wiped the worst of the paint off his face but there was still a trail of dried blood down from his nose. I’d done a rather good job of making a mess.

“Barton I’m going to kick your 200 pound ass if you don’t let me fly.” I tried to be stern but there was no stopping the smile growing wider. It was really good to see him be the person to pick us up. “I had to endure 10 hours in a rust bucket which I don’t know how to fly. Move.”

Clint held up his hands in defeat and climbed out of the pilot seat. He’d barely gotten out of it before I was sliding into his place. My energy levels seemed to have climbed again, giving me a second wind. As soon as everyone was sitting, I lifted off with a lot more speed than was necessary. I felt almost giddy with excitement right now. I had no doubts I’d get a reaming for my little stunt with Ramirez, but tonight had given me a lot of confidence in my abilities. Things were starting to click into place without me over analysing every single little detail. I was moving on muscle memory and instruct rather than waiting for someone to tell me what to do. I felt like I could actually justify my place on STRIKE Team Delta for once.

“I’m a little disappointed you didn’t hijack the C-130,” Clint teased as he relaxed in the co-pilot seat. He grinned over at me, vaguely looking like a proud parent. “That would have really made things even more interesting than they already were.”

“The thought did cross my mind.” I returned the grin. “Did my footage keep you amused?”

“If this shit wasn’t classified, it’d be going on YouTube,” Clint confirmed with a laugh. “Fucking beautiful shot through the trees. The double taps were impressive too.”

That was the highest praise coming from Clint. I could feel myself nearly bursting with pride at the compliment. 

“You may also be in a bit of trouble,” Clint added. Like a pin to a balloon my happy little bubble burst. “I sent the footage to Coulson who unofficially said the jackass deserved it. Officially he asked you to play nicely. But Colonel Smith will probably drag both of you off when we land.”

I scrunched my nose up in disgust. At least Coulson wasn’t pissed off about my little payback. It wasn’t totally unexpected, I’d be naive to believe there wouldn’t be some repercussion for shooting someone in the face during a training exercise. Even if he did deserve it.

The flight went by far too quickly for my liking. Clint seemed happy to have someone to talk to. From him describing his own experience, I’m surprised he hadn’t been kicked off the base for being a pain in the ass. But he kept me laughing the entire time. The conversations in the back were loud and lively, making it hard to hear over the laughter a few times. Everyone was in high spirits as I landed.

“Hey Lyngley, you coming out drinking?” 

It was so loud in the back I didn’t catch who it was that asked me. 

“Of course I’m coming out drinking,” I said with a playful scoff. I opened the ramp, shivering as a blast of cold air came rushing in. “Stupid question. Who’s buying me drinks for being so fucking awesome?”

All of a sudden the noise in the back died down immediately and like the Red Sea parting, everyone quickly jumped out of the way. It only took me a second to realise Smith was storming up the ramp looking less than amused. His expression reminded me of Coulson when he was yelling at us in hospital after Pripyat. 

“Everyone out. Lyngley, Ramirez, stay.”

Smith’s firm command left everyone scrambling to get their gear and get off the Quinjet. Clint shot me a sympathetic look as I shut the Quinjet down. In the short time it’d taken to shut down, another middle-aged guy in fatigues had joined Smith in the back of the Quinjet. It didn’t take a genius to work out it was Ramirez’s commanding officer. Once the last of the engines came to a full stop, I climbed out of my chair and walked to the back. Clint was right on my heels and gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze as I came to stand in front of Smith.

“Sit.” Smith jerked his head to the opposite of the Quinjet from where Ramirez was sprawled in his chair. 

Ramirez scowled at me as I complied and took a seat. It took a lot of willpower not to go and punch him again. Fuck me this guy had a serious attitude problem. I settled for shooting him a sickly sweet smile instead. Clint stayed standing, crossing his arms over his chest. At least he looked intimidating. Ramirez was actively avoiding looking anywhere near Clint.

“Now,” Smith’s voice made me look up towards the Colonel. “Ramirez, explain yourself. Lyngley, keep your mouth shut while he does.”

I didn’t have a problem keeping my mouth shut. Clint was more likely to interject his opinion in this argument than me.

“It’s bullshit the other team gets an advantage with something like cloaking tech,” Ramirez said darkly, shooting me another foul look. “Where the fuck was our advantage? We had no chance. If this had been real it may as well had been a suicide mission.”

I rolled my eyes so hard they nearly went all the way back into my skull. Clint glanced over towards me with a small smirk flitting over his face at my reaction. It was gone as quickly as it came on, but at least Clint was finding this amusing. 

“It’s not tech,” Clint spoke up before I could. “And I don’t see a problem with it. We use whats at our disposal. You’re SWCC, you should know better than the enemy isn’t always going to fight fair.”

The Navy Special Warfare Combat Crewmen weren’t slouches by any means. These were the guys SEAL’s called up when they needed backup. I snuck a glance over to Ramirez’s commander. He kept a passive expression except for a mild quirk of an eyebrow at the mention of it not being technology. With SHIELD’s reputation of recruiting Enhanced individuals, it wasn’t hard to put together what Clint was saying.

“Should have known SHIELD would bring a fucking mutant along,” Ramirez spat the word mutant out like it left a bad taste in his mouth. “Did you fuck your way into the ranks there sweetheart?”

“No, I got into STRIKE Team Delta all by myself,” I shot back at him, keeping a sweet smile on my face. “Unlike other people, I don’t need to suck cock to get ahead in this world.”

Ramirez launched himself out of the seat. Before he could get more than a step, his commander shot forward and yanked him back by his kevlar. 

“Out.” The commander ordered, pointing towards the tarmac. “Now. You and I are about to have a discussion you won’t enjoy.”

Ramirez gave me one last hate filled look before grabbing his gear and storming off down the ramp. His commander didn’t bother to look back at me before falling into step a few paces behind Ramirez. I opened my mouth to make a sarcastic comment about accepting his apology but quickly clicked my teeth back together when Smith levelled me a hard glare. 

“I don’t give a shit what you use to your advantage,” Smith started, his tone leaving no room for me to even think about interrupting. “But you do not put a knife to someone’s throat just because he decides to take a swing at you. You may not be military but while you’re on my exercise, you play by the rules. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes.” I used up the last of my self-control to stop myself rolling my eyes again. His hardened glare at me made me add his title as an afterthought. “Sir.”

“Good. Now get the fuck out of my sight until debrief tomorrow.”

Smith didn’t need to tell me twice. I grabbed my jacket and I was off the Quinjet within seconds. Clint fell into step beside me, looking like he was trying very hard to contain his amusement.

“Drinks?” Clint asked as soon as we were out of earshot.

“Drinks,” I confirmed with a nod. I definitely needed a drink or ten to celebrate. Especially if my team was going to be the ones buying me the drinks. It had been a good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know...its an update that's not a month apart from the last one! 
> 
> I love writing confident and kick ass Kari. Its so much fun seeing her grow into the person she is and really step up to the plate with her abilities. 
> 
> Thank you so much for all the kudos and comments from the last chapter! It seriously makes my day. I've been taking my computer to write while on my lunch break because I've been so excited about this chapter. I hope everyone enjoyed it as much as I did writing it.


	70. Chapter 70

“Yield.”

I smirked as I climbed off Clint’s back and released his arm from the near dislocating angle I had him pinned at. I was breathing heavily and I could feel the sweat pouring off me, but it’d been worth it to get Clint pinned to the sparring mats. It was even more satisfying to see the slowness in his body as he struggled to get upright. My knuckle hurt probably as much as his lower back did, but I was so proud of myself right now I didn’t care.

“Fuck me, when did you get so fast?” Clint said around his labored breathing. He bent over, putting his hands on his knees, visibly wincing at the movement. “This is my payback for leaving you for three weeks isn’t it?”

“Yep,” I said breathlessly, putting my hands on my head. “What did you think was going to happen when I’ve been with Natasha for two weeks non stop? Especially after all her pent-up energy after Japan.”

It was early February. Right after my training exercise, Clint had left on a mission with Bravo Team. Unluckily for me, no amount of pleading was letting me go with him. While Clint had been correct in telling me that Coulson said the jackass deserved it on the training exercise, he’d also conveniently left out the minor detail about me drawing a knife on Ramirez in my little spit of anger. When Coulson got the official report, he’d been less than amused and grounded me as punishment.

Officially, I was doing lots of flights because I needed the flying time. Unofficially, this was Coulson scolding me for not playing well with others. I’d been by myself for a week before Natasha and Jared came home from their surveillance mission. The only thing that kept me sane that week was Gareth came up and spent a few days at my apartment. Sharpe had been very lenient with him having some extra time off due to his overseas trip coming up. Even though I had to work for a few of the days, Gareth was more than happy to hang around. It hadn’t been the sex on every available surface type visit. We’d actually gone out to dinner and done some tourist things since Gareth had never been to DC. It’d been a nice change of pace for us. Gareth had even met Alexi and much to my relief, Alexi loved her new ‘uncle’.

Natasha and Jared’s mission had been painfully boring for both of them, so there was plenty of pent-up energy to be worked off. Natasha was back to her old form and she had kept me on my toes. Seeing Clint winded and hurting from sparring with me had been worth the bruises and aching muscles from Natasha.

“Wow,” Jared’s voice made us both look up to the edge of the sparring mats. He was casually standing there surveying the scene in front of him. “I never thought I’d say these words but Kari really kicked your ass, Barton.”

I glared daggers at my twin for his backhanded compliment. 

“Please, by all means, grow a pair and get in here.” Clint still sounded winded as he waved a hand in my direction. “I’d enjoy watching you get your ass handed to you by your sister.”

“Sure.”

Jared’s easy acceptance made both of us look at him. Clint in amusement and me in surprise. I hadn’t seen Jared spar with anyone since Pripyat except Natasha. While Natasha and I worked on our sparring, Jared always hit the gym. Occasionally he stand on the side watching, but he seemed to be completely disinterested in getting involved. This was going to be interesting. Natasha was going to regret leaving early for a shower.

“I’ll give a nice speech at your funeral.” Clint visibly winced as he straightened up.“Thanks Kari, I didn’t need that kidney.”

“You have another one, stop being a crybaby,” I said to Clint with an eye roll. He’d always say to me when I complained he’d near broken something of mine that I had more than one of. “If we’re doing this, no powers Jared.”

“No powers,” Jared agreed with a nod as he toed his sneakers off. “Because we all know that will end in tears and a trip to medical.”

“Yeah, you really don’t need any more time off work,” I said nonchalantly, knowing that wasn’t what Jared meant. “Unless you really loved your surveillance mission.”

Jared flashed me a charming smile as he stepped onto the mats with me. I saw the shift in his posture and barely had time to duck the punch he swung with his right arm. I knew he’d done it on purpose to try and put me off balance to start with. But I wasn’t fooled, not yet anyway. 

“Gotta be quicker than that bro,” I teased as I moved back a few steps to give myself some distance. 

“Just checking you were awake,” Jared taunted back at me. 

His feet moved as he started to circle me. His sharp blue eyes were watching my every movement. I moved with him, keeping my distance for the moment. Jared was quick and brutal with his way of fighting. He was like Natasha and liked to lure people into a false sense of security before making his move. I was feeling bold today, so I made the first move.

I covered the distance between us quickly and went straight for a vulnerable spot. Jared easily deflected my knee I aimed at his stomach, but I didn’t miss the flicker of surprise crossing his face at my ballsy movement. This time he wasn’t messing around when he went for a snappy right, left hook combination. I absorbed the impact on my arms with a small grunt. There was enough power in the punches to put me on the back foot. It also gave me an opening.

I landed a vicious kick to the inside of Jared’s knee before he could pull away from his attack. I felt the muscles buckle under the force, but not enough to completely disable him. I’d made sure to land the kick on his good leg because I was such a nice sister. I smirked as Jared quickly back peddled out of reach again.

“Sneaky.” Jared looked mildly impressed at my move, his smirk mirrored my own. “I’m glad you grew out of the kick in the balls and ask questions later fighting style.”

My lips twitched from the effort not to laugh at his cheeky comment. I knew he was trying to distract me. If I let my guard down for even a second he’d have me on my ass.

We circled each other a few more times, throwing playing jabs and kicks to taunt the other person. Jared had the slight advantage over me with his 3 inches. But I was quick enough to get out of the way without losing too much distance between us. In the short time we’d started, a group had started to gather around us. 

“Break his pretty face Kari!” 

I’m pretty sure it was Sam who called that out. It was hard to tell over the noise of the crowd. In my half a second of distraction at Sam’s voice, Jared came at me again full force. I only managed to step around his attack just in time to avoid a fist in the face. I wasn’t able to put up a good attack because Jared came at me so damn fast. But I did manage to stop it with a solid fist into Jared’s ribs. I heard the whoosh of breath leave his body as he put the distance between us again.

Instead of waiting for him to attack me again, I decided to put him on the back foot this time. I purposely came at him so he’d see it. Jared managed to duck the punch I swung at him, but he wasn’t quite quick enough to stop the knee to his stomach this time. He doubled over with a grunt and I drove my elbow into the base of his neck.

In most people, the elbow would drop them instantly. But not my fearless twin. His body crumbled like he was about to drop, but his arms shot out and grabbed me by the waist instead. I quickly twisted the same time Jared yanked us both backwards and off balance. My twist made his grip release on me so I landed on the mat next to him harmlessly. Both of us sprung to our feet at the exact same time. Jared’s grin was feral as he looked over at me. 

“Slippery little shit,” Jared said, cocking an eyebrow up at me. “Come on. Haven’t you learned anything from Tasha?”

“I know enough not to be baited by you,” I said with a short laugh. “What’s your problem? Scared of being bested by your little sister?”

Jared didn’t even blink at my taunt. He was too well trained to respond to that line of teasing. But he made the first move again. I didn’t want to be on the back foot again, so I met him in the middle. Neither of us were gaining an inch as we punched and kicked each other. I couldn’t find an opening to knock Jared down and in return, I wasn’t letting him gain any advantage either. I could feel the sweat starting to drip into my eyes as I landed a glancing blow off Jared’s arm he’d put up to block me. In the second of the distraction of the stinging sweat in my eye, Jared finally made a move.

He grabbed the arm I’d just punched with and twisted, hard. A jolt of pain ripped up through my arm, making me twist my body in an attempt to free to grip. It was a mistake on my behalf. Jared managed to twist me all the way around and pulled me into a choke hold. 

I didn’t let that deter me. This time I wasn’t a nice sister and went straight for another soft spot. I drove my elbow straight into his groin. All the breath in Jared’s body left him in a strangled groan as his grip loosened on me. I squirmed out of his grip as Jared dropped to the ground clutching at his crotch. The collective sounds of sympathy rippled through the crowd as every single male would have flinched. Especially how hard I just hit Jared. 

“Yield?” I asked unable to keep the smirk off my face at the sight of Jared rolling on the ground. 

Jared’s response was to send a small column of flames across the ground to me. Years of sibling roughhousing with our powers made me react quickly. The flames froze a second before reaching me. Jared and I looked at each other with identical accusing expressions. The entire gym went silent as Jared and I watched each other. All it took was a mischievous look on Jared’s face and I went invisible. At nearly the same time, flames went down Jared’s arm and he teleported out of reach.

It was on.

Jared bounced around a few times, barely standing in one spot long enough for me to catch sight of him. It was dizzying how fast he could teleport. I moved from where I was, making sure to not stay in the one spot too long as Jared tried to distract me.

For as long as I could remember, I could always get this vague feeling of when Jared was about to teleport close to me. There was a slight buzz in the air right before he appeared. Likewise, Jared always said he could vaguely sense my general direction when I was invisible. He described a similar feeling like there was something that would always pull him towards me. No one else had ever described the same feeling from either of our powers. Professor Xavier explained when we were younger than twins often had a special bond that couldn’t be explained, that it was a unique thing for Jared and I to share. But right now I was glad for it.

The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I darted to the left, spinning around to face the spot I’d felt it. True to my instincts, Jared appeared in the exact spot a microsecond later.

“Sneaky, sneaky,” Jared said with a smirk, looking around the seemingly empty area. “Come out, come out where ever you are.”

I made a ball of ice in my hands trying not to laugh as I did. I threw the ball straight at Jared’s face and quickly ran back towards the spot he was in. Instead of teleporting, like I thought he would, Jared sent a small burst of flames at the ball of ice. It became nothing more than a puddle on the floor. Instead of darting out of the way, I kept my course straight for Jared and came up from behind him. He tilted his head as I came to a stop. I couldn’t help myself, I blew a freezing breath up his neck before leaning over.

“Boo,” I whispered in his ear. 

Jared hated anything touching his neck. It was a funny thing he’d always had and I’d quite often used it to my advantage when we were younger. He cursed as he shot forward, clutching at his neck and squirming like someone had put ants down his boxers. 

In his distraction, I decided to finish this. I let go of my invisibility as I charged at him. I landed a perfect knee in the stomach, making Jared double over this time. I pushed off my left foot and held my breath, hoping for the best. As I came up, I hooked my knee around Jared’s neck and used the leverage to pull the rest of my body up. With Jared firmly stuck between my thighs, I pulled back body backward with as much strength as I had in me. As I came down, I braced my body with both hands on the ground and let the momentum of the move do the rest. Jared flipped over onto his back with a satisfying thud. I let go with my legs and rolled back up onto my feet smoothly. 

Fuck me, I’d finally done it. After all these months of practice, I pulled off Natasha’s famous thigh choke. What’s more, it was hard enough that Jared was still on the mats breathing heavily. 

“Yield?” I asked again. I hadn’t realized how out of breath I was until then. Jared wasn’t much better. He was dripping with sweat despite the short session and breathing heavily. 

“Ouch,” Jared said with a grumble. “Yield. But I want a rematch next week.”

“How about next month?” I laughed breathlessly, offering him my hand. 

Jared grinned at my cheeky reference from Fight Club and took my offered hand. I hauled my twin to his feet, not missing the small wince of pain that crossed his face. 

“Did I do that?” I switched to Icelandic knowing Jared would appreciate the small discretion.

“Landed funny,” Jared explained in the same language. He smoothed over his face, leaving no trace any sign of pain. He shifted his weight off his bad ankle very subtly. “Don’t worry, I’ll kick your ass next time.”

The last part was spoken in English and loud enough for our crowd to hear. I didn’t doubt him at all. Now Jared would be back at it, pushing himself just to kick my ass. But I laughed and clapped Jared on the back. It’d be a bit of fun and good entertainment for the morning gym crowd. Clint was waiting for me with a towel and bottle of water. To my surprise, Natasha was back along with Coulson. Judging by the grin on Coulson’s face, we weren’t in trouble. For once.

“Nice work guys,” Coulson praised us as we went over to them. “How are you feeling Jared?”

Ever since Jared had been cleared for field duties again, Coulson had extended his reach and had been keeping a very careful eye on Jared. There had been no reason for Coulson to be in Japan for such a simple surveillance mission. But him watching over Jared made everyone breath a little easier. There hadn’t been a word of complaint from Jared about it either. If anything, he looked relieved to have Coulson there for guidance. 

“Besides humiliated?” Jared said, shooting me a disgruntled look. It didn’t reach his eyes, they were sparkling with good humor. Natasha had a bottle of water for him which he took with a grateful smile. “I tweaked my ankle a little on landing. Nothing major.”

“Get Max to look at it anyway,” Coulson said with a nod. “I might have something for you when you’re done.”

That promise of work was all Jared needed not to argue about having someone look at his ankle. He was gone before I could blink. No doubt to shower and haul his ass to the infirmary. 

“What about us?” Clint asked Coulson. “Do we get an exciting mission?”

Clint’s mission with Bravo team had been a bust. They’d been tracking a War Lord across South Sudan and all the way to Ethiopia. In the end, they’d lost track of him completely. The guy was like a ghost even with a considerable mercenary army behind him. He was really starting to piss SHIELD off.

“Even better,” Coulson looked over at me with a proud smile. “I’m paying for breakfast. Where are we going?”

“Waffles.”

The three of us answered together. Natasha and I had stumbled upon a waffle place last week and it’d become a fast favorite. Coulson rolled his eyes and his expression spoke more than words could. He shouldn’t have bothered asking. The fond expression he glanced at three of us made up for the minor annoyances we tended to put our handler through.

The three of us headed for the shower as Coulson went the opposite way to his office. Today was a quiet day at work because Clint was heading to see his kids today. Jared was teleporting them down and they’d pick up Lila and Cooper from school as a surprise. Laura was a late shift, so it was giving Clint some much needed time with the kids alone. He hadn’t made it down there with the last mission going for as long as it did. The biggest breakthrough had been Laura going directly to Clint to organize it all, instead of going through me. It was a good start to have them at least be able to do that. Even if the timing was a little awkward.

It was Valentines Day today. The reason why Natasha and I weren’t going down with the boys was I was watching Alexi and William all weekend. Evans was surprising Abby with a weekend away with just the two of them. Natasha was staying with me tonight for a girls night and moral support. While I had no problems with Alexi, having both her and William was a little nerve-wracking. 

I also had a feeling that had been a decision made behind my back about not letting me be alone for Valentines Day. I’m sure I’d be too busy with Alexi to worry about being alone, but I was still grateful for the silent support. The anniversary of Riley’s death was creeping up quicker than I wanted it to. I was fine right now but I knew this was the lull before the storm. It wasn’t going to be pretty and I was shoving it to the back of my mind for as long as possible.

Even thinking about it now, I hooked my arm through Natasha’s as we walked to the locker room and gave her a smile. Natasha’s returning smile said more than words ever could. We always had each other back no matter what.

And she was very proud of me kicking Jared’s ass.

Walking into the locker room was noisy as usual. It took me a ridiculous amount of time to actually get to my shower. It felt like every second person in the room wanted to stop and congratulate me on kicking Jared’s ass. It wasn’t an everyday occurrence that I showed my powers openly. I wasn’t surprised to hear most of the guys request I do it again, with powers from the start for next time. 

By the time I finished talking to everyone I only had a few minutes to shower and get changed. I was still drying my hair when I walked back into the locker room to grab my wallet and phone. I closed my locker door and found Rumlow on the other side of it.

“Yes?” I asked, arching an eyebrow at Rumlow leaning on Clint’s locker. 

“Nice fight,” Rumlow said with a chuckle. He held up a small wad of folded bills. “My shout tonight. Where are we drinking?”

“Save it for another night.” There was no wiping the grin off my face. At least Rumlow had to brains to bet on me. Why was I not surprised to find out someone had starting bets while the fight was going. It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence. “Alexi, Natasha and I are having a wine, cheese and Disney night.”

“I know she’s a little shit to get to sleep, but are you really letting Evans’ toddler drink?” Rumlow teased as he pushed himself off the locker. “If you change your mind, let me know. We can throw peanuts at all the couples who are going to be having inappropriate displays of public affection.”

I looked at Rumlow again. He gave me a small smile that didn’t match his teasing tone. This wasn’t just a friendly offer to go out drinking because I won. I’d never call him out on it, but Rumlow was asking to make sure I wasn’t alone today. If it the locker room wasn’t full, I’d hug him for being so thoughtful. I settled on giving him a genuine smile instead.

“I’m fine,” I dropped my voice down so I couldn’t easily be heard. “But thank you.”

“Call if you need anything.” Rumlow nodded and reached over to give my shoulder a squeeze. “I’ll even tolerate Alexi glaring at me.”

That made me laugh. Alexi wasn’t the biggest fan of Rumlow. Most of the time she’d just glare at him from afar, or stuck her tongue out at him. I had no idea why she didn’t like him. 

“I will. If you wear a skirt you’re welcome to come over for girls night.” The serious mood was gone as my smart ass comment. “You have to sing along to Disney with us though.”

“I’m good.” Rumlow visibly shuddered, shaking his head rapidly. “Have fun. I’ll keep this for bail money for when the neighbors make a noise complaint.”

Rumlow moved too quickly for me to smack him for the comment. But he made me laugh again. It had made our exchange look like nothing out of the ordinary. The unspoken part between us would stay between us. 

It was more brunch rather than breakfast by the time we got to the waffle place. Jared came with us, sporting a wrapped ankle but gleeful expression over whatever he and Coulson had talked about. In true Jared style, he was tight-lipped about what they’d discussed and unluckily for us, Coulson was in a tormenting mood and not sharing either. What started a serious guessing game quickly dissolved into the most ridiculous things we could think of. No one was in the mood to take anything seriously today.

After brunch, Clint and Jared took Clint’s car back to our apartment to get ready to go. Coulson had his girlfriend, Audrey, flying into the airport in an hour so it was just Natasha and I for the afternoon. It was easy to pass the hours by with some aimless wandering around shops. Besides some cheese and wine for tonight, there was nothing we needed. But both of us were very bad at finding things we wanted. I found some more Little Miss books to add to Alexi’s collection and a few baby books for William. Armed with cheese and wine, we made our way over to Evans’ place. 

It was perfect timing. Abby was pulling out of the street as we were arriving. She didn’t know Natasha’s car so we passed by without a second glance. Natasha dropped me off at the curb so she could park further down the street. The front door opened with Evans and William both smiling at me.

“You couldn’t have timed it better,” Evans said with a smile. William gurgled up at me, waving his chubby fists in my direction. Even though I saw him at least twice a week, I was always amazed at how quickly he was growing. 

“I know, we just passed Abby.” I held out of arms to see if William wanted to come over for a hug. He smiled and instantly complied. Unlike his sister, he was the easiest going baby. He’d go to nearly anyone for a hug and slept like the dead. “Hey little man, you looking forward to your coolest Aunt’s ever babysitting for the weekend?”

“Where’s Natasha?” Evans asked as he opened the door a little wider so I could come inside.

“Parking down the street so Abby doesn’t get suspicious when she comes home.” I bopped William on the nose, getting a laugh from the baby. He waved his hands around trying to grab my finger as I stepped inside. “Are you packed and ready to go?”

It was a bit of a stupid question on my behalf. Evans was one of the most organized people I knew. As I stepped into the house, there was already 2 bags sitting beside the door. Evans looked down at them and back up at me with a smirk.

“Now do you have everything you need?” I shifted Willian up on my hip a little higher. “Chocolate, flowers, a good bottle of wine, condoms unless you’re going to see if you can have another accident?”

My last one made Evans roll his eyes at me.

“2 is more than enough, thank you,” Evans said dryly. “As you’re about to find out. Alexi was an asshole this morning.”

“Isn’t that a little incorrect to call your toddler an asshole?” I teased. “What did she do this time?”

“Incorrect but not untrue,” Evans’ dry tone continued. “She wanted her toast cut into triangles, then cried and pitched a tantrum because they were triangles. I told her she wasn’t leaving her chair until she finished them. I swear I turned my back for one second and she’s gotten herself out of her chair and was trying to feed her toast to William. Her excuse was ‘William said he was hungry’.”

Alexi’s new found dexterity was sending Evans grey. She had an uncanny knack for getting out of anything she could. Alexi had also discovered climbing. Abby found her halfway over their 8 foot backyard fence the other day because Alexi said she wanted to play with the neighbors new puppy. I took her to the park earlier this week and she started climbing on the outside of the play equipment. Thankfully she was always as good as getting down as she was getting up. But she gave me a few minor heart attacks along the way.

“I swear she’s just like Hawk for talking herself out of trouble.” I gave Evans a sympathetic look. “Besides her being a little monkey and escape artist, is there anything new in the last 3 days?”

“Thankfully no.” Evans scrubbed a hand over his face. He looked tired. The three week mission had been rough on him. He was grumbling more and more about being too old for this shit these days. “I’ve left all the numbers for the weekend on the fridge. We won’t have any cell reception so you’ll have to call the front desk. Alexi’s pediatrician is….”

“Dr Elms at Fairfax Hospital and if she isn’t available, then it’s Dr Gordon who is William’s doctor. Abby’s mom lives 40 minutes away and I have your entire team’s numbers in my cell in case I need someone to help.” I finished for Evans. “I’ve got this. We’ll be fine.”

“You forgot there’s plenty of frozen meals in the freezer so you don’t starve to death,” Evans continued with a small chuckle. “And..”

“Abby froze a weeks supply of breastmilk for William,” I cut in again. “If that runs out there’s formula in the cupboard. He’s allowed to have his rice cereal and there’s a year worth of pureed stuff in the freezer for him too. Alexi is an asshole and she’ll probably throw most of her food on the floor but we’ll try to get her to eat whatever I’m eating. As long as she eats something it’s a win. William has his last feed at 1915 and he’s asleep by 1935 at the absolute latest. He’s awake at 0620 and has his naps at 1030 and 1445. Alexi will sleep when we’re all dead. Have I missed anything?”

“You spend too much time here,” Evans grumbled. There wasn’t a lot of force behind it, especially as he pulled me into a hug a second later. William grumbled a little as he got wedged between us. “You have no idea how much Abby and I appreciate everything you do.”

“I do.” I hugged Evans back. While Evans had been away I’d made sure I went around every day to give Abby a hand. Having a toddler and 6 month old was exhausting enough without throwing in Alexi’s crazy energy levels. For a kid who slept an average of 5 hours every night, she could go all day without stopping. 

“Are you sure you didn’t cancel any plans for this?” Evans asked, giving me one final squeeze before letting go. He watched my face carefully like he was trying to see if I was lying. William took the opportunity to hold out his arms for Evans. He was definitely daddy’s boy. Evans reached over and took him from me with a smile.

“Well, Rumlow offered to take me drinking from the money he won this morning by betting on my fight with Jared,” I said, trying to stay as nonchalant as possible. The corners of my lips quirked up at my unsuccessful attempt. “I offered for him to come over and watch Disney with us but he declined that invitation very rapidly.”

“Who won the fight?” Evans raised an eyebrow at my explanation. He hadn’t been in at work this morning, at least I hadn’t seen him. “Never mind. The smug look all over your face tells me everything I need to know. Hey Natasha.”

I glanced over my shoulder to see Natasha coming in the door. She nodded in greeting as she kicked her shoes off. She had our bags from shopping which Evans was eyeing off apprehensively. 

“I only bought books,” I said defensively as he gaze shifted to me. “They can never have enough books. I didn’t buy any more books that sing or dance for William either.”

I’m sure the farmyard animal book I bought for William had been hidden somewhere well out of reach. Alexi loved to ‘read’ it to her brother and drove both her parents nuts by constantly pressing the animal sound buttons.

“I’ll make a coffee while we wait for Abby,” Evans seemed to trust me this time. “You know where everything is.”

I took the duffel bag off Natasha and went up to the spare room. It was becoming my second bedroom more than a spare room these days. I even had a few changes of clothes here these days. Evans was right in that I spent a lot of time here. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. As I went back downstairs, Evans was just pouring the coffee and Natasha was entertaining William in his high chair. It always amused me to see one of the deadliest assassins in the world cooing in Russian while playing with William. The baby was particularly fascinated with Natasha’s long red hair and he was always making a grab for it. There was a game of it now seeing Natasha dodge his chubby fingers and encourage him to be quicker. 

The three of us settled around the table with our coffee chatting about nothing in particular. It only felt like minutes before I heard Abby’s car pull into the driveway. In less than a minute, the door to the garage opened and I could hear Alexi thumping down the hallway. She missed seeing us sitting in the kitchen and beelined for the lounge room. There was a second of silence as we all waited patiently for Alexi to realize where we were.

“Dad?” Alexi hollered. Evans and Abby had been trying to teach her an inside voice. It wasn’t working judging by the volume of her voice.

“In the kitchen Munchkin,” Evans called back. “Inside voice please baby.”

A few seconds later, Alexi came running into the kitchen. Her face lighting up as soon as she laid eyes on me.

“Kari!” Alexi ran at me. I caught her mid-stride, scooping her up for a hug. She laughed and hugged me tightly. “Tasha’s here too!”

“Troy?” Abby’s voice came from down the hallway. “Why are there bags packed in the hallway?”

There was a slight tremble in Abby’s voice. Not a happy tremble either. I didn’t doubt her mind went to another scenario instead of the one planned. It looked like Evans was going away again. 

“I’m in the kitchen,” Evans kept his voice neutral. “Come here, I’ve got to tell you something.”

I heard Abby’s heavy sigh from the kitchen. I felt a stab of sympathy for her as she walked into the kitchen looking upset. She’d never openly voice it, but it was hard having 2 young children and a husband that could be gone in the blink of an eye. Evans had only been back a week this time. 

“What?” Abby walked into the kitchen and did a double take seeing Natasha and I sitting at the table. “Oh, company. Hey guys.”

Evans handed Abby an envelope wordlessly. Her expression turned from weary to suspicious in an instant. Abby looked at Natasha and I before opening the envelope. She pulled out the folded piece of paper, her eyes scanning the letter inside. I knew it was their reservation confirmation for the retreat Evans booked for them. A few seconds later, Abby’s hand flew to her mouth and she looked suspiciously teary as she looked over at Evans again.

“So, I thought we could do with a weekend away.” Evans gave her a charming smile. “Kari and Natasha are here to watch the kids. Happy Valentines Day.”

Evans barely had time to get out of his chair before Abby threw herself into his arms, laughing as she hugged him hard. Evans lifted her up a little, spinning her around. In my arms, Alexi laughed and clapped at her parent's antics. 

“I thought you were going away again,” Abby sniffed. She gave Evans a small shove as she laughed again. “You sneaky shit. How did you manage to sneak this by me?”

Evans had given me the money and I’d paid for it on my credit card so Abby wouldn’t see it in their bank account. He’d been planning this for a few months now.

“I’ll explain in the car, let's get going,” Evans gave Abby a gentle push in the direction of the door. “We have a dinner reservation tonight.”

“Thank you.” Abby ignored Evans’ attempt to get her out the door. She came over and gave me a quick hug. “There’s…”

“Don’t worry, Kari knows the kids routine better than I do,” Evans cut Abby off before she could start to rattle off instructions.

“Of course she does.” Abby hugged me again.”Thank you as well, Natasha.”

Abby’s extra hug was for Natasha. Though Natasha was quite often with me, Abby still wasn’t sure how to act around her.

“Be good Munchkin.” Abby gave Alexi a quick kiss. She turned to William and did the same. “You too little man.”

“Bye.” Alexi waved in my arms. She was completely unconcerned about her parents leaving. She waited until Evans and Abby were out of earshot before turning to me with a cheeky grin. “Ice cream?”

I’m sure we’d regret this later but I couldn’t say no to her adorable grin. 

“Let's go to the park and get some ice cream then.” Natasha beat me to it. 

It was cold and not ice cream weather at all. But a smiling and happy Alexi and William for what was left of the afternoon was worth the minor discomfort. We got home later than we probably should have with 2 small children. Alexi was showing no signs of slowing down as William went to bed, as expected. She was more than happy to sit on the couch eating cheese with us while watching Pocahontas. We had just gotten to the part where John Smith and Pocahontas meet for the first time as the front door opened. Natasha and I both looked down the hallway in suspicion. There weren't many people who'd come over and let themselves in unannounced.

“Hello ladies,” Sam’s voice traveled down the hallway. “I come bearing gifts.”

“Sam!” Alexi was off my lap in a flash and running down the hallway. 

“Hey Munchkin.” Sam met her in the door of the lounge room, picking her up and swinging her around. Alexi giggled as she got spun around. She got down from his grasp just as quick, making a beeline back to my lap. “How are my favorite ladies?”

I don’t think Natasha’s eyebrows could climb any higher on her face. She was staring at Sam with a mixture of confusion and apprehension. It was no coincidence he was here. I had a funny feeling this was going to end in tears.

“Having a girls night,” Natasha said briskly. “What are you doing here Sam?”

“Like I said, I came to see my favorite girls.” His charming grin at Natasha couldn’t hide the nerves clearly on his face. “So, Munchkin I got you something.”

With a flourish, Sam produced something from behind his back. It was a box of Belgium chocolates. I knew that box well because it was Natasha’s favorite chocolate. At the promise of chocolate, Alexi was off my lap again and went up to Sam. Her grin was adorable as she took the box from Sam.

“Now, I think these are Aunty Nat’s favorite chocolate.” Sam crouched down to Alexi’s eye level. His stage whisper was clearly meant to be heard. “Can you share them with her for me?”

“And Kari too,” Alexi instantly protested with a pout. I shot Sam a smirk, he should have known better than to leave me out of it.

“And Kari too,” Sam confirmed. “Is that okay?”

Alexi nodded furiously as she came back over to the couch. I had to hide my smile behind my hand as Alexi very proudly presented the box to Natasha.

“We share?”

Clever boy Sam. There was no way Natasha would refuse the chocolates from Alexi. The look of apprehension fell away from Natasha's face and it was replaced by a genuine smile. I felt myself relax at the smile on her face. Sam had done very well to get around a potential minefield that was nearly guaranteed to blow up in his face. A second later, Natasha reached down and took the box from Alexi. 

“Thank you Munchkin,” Natasha said with a smile. “Should we make some room for Sam?”

I smiled into my wine glass, scooting across so there was more room for Sam. 

“Oh, Kari.” Sam looked ridiculously pleased with himself as he sat down next to Natasha. “There’s something outside for you too. Someone must have dropped it off earlier.”

That was weird. There hadn’t been anything outside when we got back. I’d told Gareth when he broached the subject that I thought Valentines Day was a stupid holiday. He agreed with me wholeheartedly and the subject was dropped afterward. So I wasn’t expecting anything from him or anyone else. Frowning, I got up and made my way to the front door.

I opened the door, glancing down to see what was on the steps. My eyes fell on a pair of Air Force blue trousers instead of a gift on the doorstep. My eyes snapped back up and I was met with Gareth’s slightly nervous but smiling face. He had a pizza in one hand and a 6 pack of beer in the other that he held up to me. He was still dressed in uniform meaning he’d come straight from work. 

“I know I’m supposed to be naked, but it’s a bit cold for that,” Gareth joked. “We agreed that Valentines Day is stupid so, happy Friday?”

I couldn’t stop myself. I threw myself into Gareth and hugged him tightly as I laughed. I wasn’t expecting to see him again until he was due to leave for Iraq. He’d done well to surprise me and to remember my quip about bring beer, pizza and be naked.

“Happy Friday,” I was a little breathless as I pulled away from our hug. A sudden thought hit me, poor Gareth would have been out here with Sam. That could have been very awkward. I didn’t see any blood and Sam did tell me he was out there. “I hope Sam wasn’t too much of an asshole to you.”

“There were words, I’m not going to lie,” Gareth said with a grimace as he came in the door. “But I’m relatively unscathed.”

“Sorry,” I apologized as I took the beer off him. “The boys can’t help themselves even though they know I could kick their asses with one hand behind my back. We’re watching Pocahontas. Care to join the sing-along?”

One thing I’d noticed about Gareth is that he never pushed about why I’d change subjects abruptly. He was very good at leaving topics alone that I wasn’t ready to talk about. 

“Lead the way.”

After seeing Natasha surprised for the second time tonight, Gareth settled in as we played the movie again. There was no room on the couch for both Gareth and I so we shared one of the reclining chairs. It was cold enough that we both snuggled under a blanket. I expected Gareth to be trying to get some sneaky groping in. He didn’t. Gareth seemed perfectly content with me on his lap while we watched the movie. Alexi took turns in alternating between Natasha and me as she shared the chocolates around. I even got her to eat an entire piece of pizza between all the chocolate without a fuss. By the time Pocahontas was finished Alexi was showing no signs of slowing down. 

“One more,” Alexi begged, tugging on the blanket covering Gareth and I. “Please, please, please Kari.”

“One more and then bed,” I promised. Sometimes it was easier to let Alexi stay up and wear herself out rather than deal with a bedtime tantrum. “How about Mulan?”

Alexi wrinkled her nose and shook her head rapidly, much to my disappointment and Natasha’s amusement. 

“Lion King,” Alexi said firmly, bouncing a little on my lap. 

Why did I not see that one coming? The Lion King was one of Alexi’s favorites. I fought back a sigh as I untangled myself from Gareth and Alexi to get up to put the movie on. I knew this movie off by heart thanks to Lila’s obsession with it last year.

“How about Finding Nemo?” I turned to ask Alexi, hoping she might change her mind. I faltered a little at the sight in front of me.

In my absence, Alexi had cuddled up to Gareth. She was sprawled across his chest with her thumb in her mouth. It was odd to see her take to someone else so quickly. Normally she’d make a fuss and scream if she was with someone new. Despite only meeting Gareth once, she seemed perfectly happy in his company. It made me happy and my heart ache all at once. It’s how she used to sleep when Riley was around, sprawled over his chest. It was adorable and annoying all in one glimpse. Riley wouldn’t be able to move for fear of waking her up and causing one of her famous tantrums.

Alexi shaking her head furiously at my suggestion brought me back from the memory. Her little face scrunching up in disgust told me where I could shove my movie suggestion. I sighed outwardly this time and got out the DVD of her choice. 

“Fine. Lion King it is.”

Alexi lasted until Hakuna Matata. Despite her best efforts, her little eyes weren’t able to stay open any longer. It had been a long day for her. First, she was at playgroup all morning, then our park visit in the afternoon. It was a little after 2200 which could be classified as an early night for Alexi. She didn’t stir when I picked her up off my lap. I was tired myself. The bottle of wine along with a few beers was making it hard to stifle my own yawns.

“I’m heading to bed too,” I announced, shifting Alexi’s dead weight in my arms. “Are you two taking the spare room or am I?”

Sam and Natasha had been the most open I’d ever seen them together. Natasha was lounging across the couch with her feet in Sam’s lap. They’d put a blanket over Natasha’s legs but I’m sure there’d been some subtle teasing under it. I’d caught Natasha looking a little flushed a few times and the small amount of wine we’d drunk wasn’t enough to put color on her cheeks. Whatever was said outside stayed between Gareth and Sam as both of them were polite to each other throughout the movies.

“We’ll take the spare bed,” Natasha said, getting up and stretching. “I’ll clean up if you want to put Munchkin to bed.”

“Night.” I wasn’t going to argue. There wasn’t a big mess anyway. It’d probably take Natasha and Sam less time to clean up than it would for me to put Alexi to bed.

“Nice to see you again Gareth,” Natasha said with a smirk on her face. “Don’t keep us up all night.”

“Same for you Romanoff.” Gareth had plenty of warning about Natasha’s teasing last time he visited. “Please don’t make me need earplugs for the night.”

I grinned at his easy response and tilted my head towards the direction of the stairs. Gareth followed me without complaint. He seemed perfectly happy with how the evening was panning out even though we hadn’t done anything. Gareth helped me tuck Alexi into bed and even though I knew he’d be asleep, I checked on William as well. I couldn’t be bothered to do much more than change into my pajamas and crawl into bed. Gareth stripped down to his boxers and got in beside me. I rolled onto my side as Gareth clicked the bedside light off. A second later, his warm body was cuddled up to me from behind.

“Sorry if this wasn’t the exciting night you were planning,” I apologized, squeezing his hand that had found mine. “Thank you for the surprise though. I’ll have to really show my gratitude in the morning.”

The mind was willing for sex but my body was saying no. Alexi had really worn me out today. 

“It was a perfect night.” Gareth pressed a kiss on the back of my neck. “You know I don’t visit just because I want sex?”

“I know.” I quickly reassured Gareth. I remember him saying that in our phone conversation before I went down for the dining in night. His last visit was proof of that too. There felt like there was something else to his statement. It only took a second before I worked out where that had come from. “What did Sam say to you?”

“Oh, the usual.” Gareth kept his tone light. “If I hurt you or use you in any way, shape or form, there won’t be enough of me left to identify. That being if they ever found my body in the first place.”

“I’m sorry,” I said with a groan. I rolled over so I was facing Gareth. “I can have a word with him if you want.”

I was torn between wanting to punch Sam for being an overprotective asshole and wanting to hug him for watching out for me. This was hard for him too. Knowing I was sleeping with someone and meeting that person were big leaps from each other. I was never going to introduce Gareth and Sam. It was bad timing for both of them to be here tonight.

“No, it’s fine. I must have said the right thing because I’m not dead,” Gareth said with a small laugh. I gave Gareth a curious look and he answered the question before I could voice it. “I told him I was whatever you wanted me to be, nothing more and nothing less.”

“Good answer.” I smiled. Things with Gareth were easy. We could hang out like a pair of old friends with the added bonus of good sex. Natasha had been right in what she’d told me before Pripyat. I always knew where I stood with Gareth. There was no miscommunication and we could simply enjoy each others company. It was exactly what I needed right now.

“I thought so too.” Gareth pressed a soft kiss on my lips. “Happy Friday.”

“Happy Friday.” I kissed him back with a small chuckle. “Good night.”

Gareth rolled onto his back, opening his arm so I could move over to him. I put my head on his chest, closing my eyes with a contented sigh. Today was a good day. I really hoped the good days kept coming. I’d had more than enough of shitty ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on a roll with updates right now! It feels great to have my writing mojo back. The scene between Kari and Jared was a lot of fun to write. Especially with Kari's new found confidence. 
> 
> I hope everyone enjoyed it. Thank you for the comments and kudos. I don't always get time to reply to comments, but I cherish all of them.


	71. Chapter 71

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First up, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone! I was determined to get this out before New Years Eve. So I just managed to get it in.
> 
> Just a quick note at the start for anyone who hasn't seen Agents of SHIELD. Gideon Malick is one of the World Security Council in the first Avengers movie and his role is very heavily expanded on within Agents of SHIELD. He becomes to new head of HYDRA after the Strucker is killed in Age of Ultron. There's quite a good biography on him on the Marvel Cinematic Universe wiki. 
> 
> I honestly creep myself out writing about Rumlow and Kari being friends and her associating with anyone we all know turns out to be HYDRA. I was going to keep this chapter going, but I'm cutting it in half so it doesn't get too crazy long.
> 
> Your comments and kudos feed my insanity...I mean my crazy writing binges that I seem to be doing right now.

“What’s going on?” I asked in a hushed voice as I slid into the seat next to Coulson. 

I’d gotten a text message from Coulson to meet him in one of the briefing rooms as soon as I had a shower. For once, it was only me that got the message. Clint and Natasha had been left out for some odd reason. The room was already half full, all with Alpha team guys. Everyone was quiet. Except for the turning of pages the room was strangely silent. It was odd to walk into a room with STRIKE guys and have it so quiet. 

Coulson didn’t look very happy as he handed me his tablet. 

“Read it as quickly as you can,” Coulson instructed me. “Don’t ask questions and in advance, I’m really sorry.”

That was an odd thing to say to me. I did as I was told, quickly scanning over the document Coulson had on the screen. 

At the top was a photo of a middle-aged man with the name Gideon Malick. It took me a few moments to place to name. Malick was one of the members of the World Security Council. They were the ones who had oversight of SHIELD. I raised an eyebrow at the high profile person in the brief but kept reading.

SHIELD had caught wind of an assassination contract taken out on Malick. So far there’d been no luck in tracking down the person responsible for the contract. Nor had there been any news on who had picked up the contract. There’d been murmurs that the assassin would make their play at a fundraising gala in Paris this weekend. Even with the threat of an assassination on his head, Malick refused to step out of the spotlight and insisted he be at the gala. At $15,000 a head for the fundraiser, all the upper echelons of society would be there flashing their checkbooks. It was going to be a security nightmare. This is where we came in.

STRIKE Team Alpha would be covering the security for Malick. The entire time would be there for his transportation, eyes, and ears on the ground during the event disguised as guests and one lucky person got to be Malick’s eye candy for the evening.

The eye candy was me. My heart dropped seeing my name on the brief. Now I knew why Coulson said he was sorry in advance. Gareth was leaving for Iraq tomorrow and I was meant to head down this afternoon to spend the night with him. I looked up to see Coulson watching me carefully.

“Why aren’t they sending a Specialist in?” I asked, keeping my voice neutral. This was the life I chose and there was no point voicing my disappointment in having to cancel my plans. “That would make more sense than me.”

“I believe the Council’s words were along the lines of ‘We have female STRIKE personal here, why aren’t we utilizing them in this capacity?’” Coulson reached up to rub his face. He looked very weary right now. “Natasha is still on their shit list after Pripyat and there is no persuading them otherwise. They still think you were only following your superiors in that situation. I’m sorry Kari, I did try to keep you out of it.”

This came from very high up in the food chain. No wonder Coulson looked so stressed over it. I knew very little about the World Security Council. Though I knew enough that their word was final. Even Director Fury had to bend to their wishes and commands. Protecting one of their own would demand the best be sent in. 

“I’m guessing I’m going by myself because Hawk is on their shit list too?” I hadn’t seen Clint’s name in the briefing at all. I was heading out all by myself. A flutter of nerves hit me at how serious this all was. 

Coulson nodded in confirmation. The look of unease on his face made my stomach twisted uncomfortably. Coulson looked really unhappy about this. To which end, I wouldn’t find out in a room full of people. I had to put my big girl pants on and deal with the mission given to me. This is what I trained my ass off for day in and day out.

“This is going to make me look like I’m a gold digger.” I tried to inject some humor into the situation. “Or a high-end hooker. Which way should I play it?”

“Gold digger.” A flicker of a smile came across Coulson’s face. “You have to at least look classy.”

“No drinking straight from the wine bottle.” I turned my eyes back down to the mission brief. “Got it.”

I didn’t need to look at Coulson to know he was rolling his eyes at me. I could practically hear his eyes rolling into the back of his skull at my comment. I smiled to myself and started to read again.

Malick would fly to Paris in his private plane at 1530 this afternoon. Myself and a handful of the STRIKE guys would accompany him. The rest of the team would meet us at Malick’s estate in Ile-de-France, about an hour out of Paris. From there we would act as private security so nothing would look out of place. SHIELD intelligence was certain the assassin would make a play at the gala, so we had to be on our toes the entire time. Malik was going to be in someone’s sight at all times. He wouldn’t be able to go to the bathroom without one of the guys tailing him.

“All right people, listen up.” Rumlow’s voice made me look up. He strode into the room with his jaw set and looking as serious as I’d ever see him. “Let's get these details down so we can all prep for this mission. It’s going to be a long day.”

By the time we were done, no one could ever fault Rumlow for his preparation. We had everything down to by the second timings. Nothing was left unturned and we had plans A through to Z if anything changed. I had an hour and a half to get home, pack a bag and then get back to the Triskelion for the rest of my gear. Coulson promised he’d get my formal wear sorted for me so all I had to worry about was weapons. 

As soon as I got out of ear reach of the group, I grabbed my phone out and pressed Gareth’s name.

“Hey!” Gareth answered on the second ring. He sounded suspiciously tipsy. I knew there was going to be some farewell drinks for Gareth today. It was a little early for that though. “Are you on your way already?”

“I have some bad news,” I said tentatively. “I have to work. I’m sorry.”

“That sucks,” Gareth sounded a lot more sober immediately. “I was looking forward to what you described to me in great detail last night.”

“Me too,” I fought back a sigh. I’d really been looking forward to what I told Gareth I was going to do to him last night. “I’ve got about 2 minutes before I have to turn my phone off.”

“Stay safe,” Gareth said immediately. “Try not to break anything this time.”

“I won’t,” I said with a small chuckle. “Have a good flight. Let me know when you land and I’ll let you know when I’m done. Jared might be nice and teleport me over if you feel up to breaking some rules about me in your room.”

“I’m all for breaking those rules.” Gareth chuckled as well. He paused before he spoke again. “I mean it, stay safe this time. Don’t give me another heart attack when I hear you’ve been in a car accident.”

“I think the worst thing that will happen this time is I’ll get sore feet.” His words made me smile. “You too. Don’t do anything stupid just because you get bored.”

“Who, me?” Gareth snorted. “Not likely. I’m not a daredevil like some people are.”

“I wouldn’t know who you’re talking about,” I said innocently. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Rumlow and Coulson talking in the corridor. Coulson caught my eye and tapped his watch. “I have to go. Have a good flight.”

“You too.” There was a hesitation in Gareth’s voice. “Please be careful.”

“I will.”

“Bye.”

I hung up before I could draw this out any longer. I really needed to get moving. 

I was packed and back at the Triskelion by the required time. Rumlow and Coulson were both in his office. As promised, Coulson had a garment bag and everything I needed for the gala. He also had a P30, knife and my kevlar for me. This must have been Coulson’s way of saying I wasn’t allowed to take my AWSM.

“Ready to go?” Rumlow asked. He was dressed in a dark blue suit, minus a tie. I raised my eyebrows as I looked at him. He looked surprisingly good in a suit. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so dressed up. He was a jeans and shirt guy. 

“Sure.” I was feeling anything but ready right now. I looked down at my own jeans and sweatshirt. While it wasn’t the worst thing I owned, I felt a bit too casual right now. “I feel like I should be getting changed.”

“You are.” Coulson tapped the garment bag. “There’s your traveling outfit in there so you look the part.”

I took that as my cue to go to the toilet in Coulson’s office. The outfit SHIELD provided me was comfortable jeans with ankle boots, blouse and cashmere cardigan over the top. The designer jeans were the most comfortable ones I’d ever worn. I may have to lose them and deal with the wraith of SHIELD clothing department later. I took the hint with the make up bag and quickly brushed on a natural look. I never did it as well as Clint, but it still looked passable.

“How do I look?” I asked as I stepped back into Coulson’s office.

“You’ll do.” Rumlow tapped his watch impatiently. “We really have to go. Do something with your hair on the way.”

“Be careful.” Coulson gave me a critical look up and down before nodding. He still looked very unhappy with me going. “Check in when you get there.”

I didn’t miss Rumlow’s eye roll at Coulson’s mother hen tendencies coming out. Rumlow didn’t let me reply and gave me a shove towards the door. I could feel the tension in the room between the two men. Curiosity bubbled up in me as I wondered what had been said between them. Coulson and Rumlow usually got along very well. It wasn’t like them to argue over something. I knew I was probably the contributing argument, but why was going to remain a mystery. 

My duffel bag had been replaced with a suitcase and my weapons were nowhere to be seen. I didn’t doubt that was Coulson’s doing. My weapons were probably in Rumlow’s bag or my new found suitcase. The Lois Vuitton suitcase might also go missing before the end of this mission. It boggled my mind how easily SHIELD had things like this laying around. Without being asked, Rumlow grabbed my suitcase leaving me with the garment bag.

Nothing was said as Rumlow and I walked to the garage together. There was a tinted and unmarked car waiting for us. I got in the back and waited for Rumlow to finish putting our gear in the back. He was there to look like my own security while we were anywhere in the public eye. The rest of the team traveling with us were escorting Malick to the airport and would meet us there.

“So, what’s up between you and Coulson?” It took me until we were on the bridge before I had to ask. Rumlow was quiet and brooding, not the way I wanted to spend our drive. 

“A disagreement on you going,” Rumlow said shortly. “He didn’t like the fact I told him you have to lose your training wheels eventually.”

“Yeah, I can imagine he took that very well,” I said dryly, shooting Rumlow an incredulous look. I thought I had a complete lack of filter. “I don’t have training wheels on either you asshole. I’ve been on missions with Bravo team before by myself. Remind me again why I’m going?”

“Because I trust you,” Rumlow’s voice softened a little as he glanced at me in the rear vision mirror. “And you’re versatile. I can put you in a pretty dress to work your way around a crowd or I can stick you on a rooftop a mile away as a sniper. I don’t have that kind of luxury with a Specialist. Besides, weren’t you bitching in the locker room a week ago about not getting any missions?”

Rumlow was right about the last part. Every team except for us seemed to be out and doing things. It was getting frustrating to see everyone else head out and we were kept in the wings. Even Jared had gotten another mission trying to track down the group Bravo team failed to find on their last mission. I’d been rather jealous to see him head off again.

“I did have plans this weekend.” I changed the topic instead of answering truthfully. “Very big plans.”

“Oh yeah and what’s that?” Rumlow’s usual teasing tone came back. “You and Romanoff shopping and getting drunk?”

“No, I was going to head over to my fuck buddy’s place and ride him until I can’t walk properly,” I said with a nonchalant shrug acting like it was nothing at all. Beyond Sam and Evans, no one else in SHIELD outside our circle knew about Gareth. I was hoping to get a good reaction out of Rumlow for this.

My casual declaration had the exact reaction I’d hoped for. Rumlow was so surprised the car jerked to the side as he looked back at me. 

“Since when do you have a fuck buddy?” Rumlow asked with a furrowed brow. He recovered as quickly as he’d been surprised. “And what did he do to get so lucky?”

“He leaves for Iraq tomorrow.” I ignored the first question. “So thanks for that.”

“Sorry.” Rumlow had the grace to look as apologetic as his word. “What branch is he? How long is he gone for?”

“Air Force and 3 months,” I paused, debating how much information to give Rumlow. He wasn’t a gossip so this would stay between us. “I used to work with him when I was in the Air Force. He got divorced last year and we started talking after I did the F-35 demo.”

“Tex will be heartbroken.” The serious mood of before was long gone as Rumlow started to tease me. As usual. “Should I tell him or are you going to be the one to rip his heart out and stomp it in the dust?”

“Oh my god, Tex does not have a crush on me,” I groaned. If Rumlow wasn’t driving I’d punch him for his comment. “Stop it. It’s bad enough Romanoff and Barton tease me about that.”

After the weird mood and vibe all morning it was good to see Rumlow’s usual personality come back through. Secretly, I was very pleased he thought so highly of me to ask me on such an important mission. There were plenty of Specialists who were just as versatile as me. He’d been right I’d been bitching about the lack of action lately. I was feeling fit again and more than ready to jump back into work. Keeping busy was going to get me through the next few weeks. Being early afternoon we managed to avoid the worst of the traffic to Dulles Airport. We were escorted by security straight to the private plane. As planned, we were the first ones to arrive.

“Now isn’t a good time to remind you that I’m scared of flying, is it?” I asked as I got out of the car. I looked over the sleek aircraft with dread. I’d been so focused on everything else going on today it didn’t really register that this was going to happen.

“I have Ambien in my pocket.” Rumlow didn’t break his stride at my question. He patted the pocket of his suit jacket. “Or valium. Take your pick. Just get your ass on the plane and wait until Malick is on board before you take them.”

Coulson must have pre-warned Rumlow. When we landed I’d have to thank Coulson for thinking ahead for me. I shot Rumlow a wry smile and did as I was told. 

The Global XRS was impressive on the inside. The crisp white leather chairs combined with the dark wood paneling was classy and modern. At the end of the jet was a fully stocked bar. Behind the bar, I could hear a few people shuffling around. There was three flight attendant on the flight with us, along with the two pilots. All of them were SHIELD personnel. The usual staff were deemed too much of a security risk even with SHIELD’s thorough background checks. 

I’d barely had time to look around the jet before another car was pulling up. Gibson jumped out of the passenger seat and opened the back door. Out of the car came Gideon Malick. 

He looked like any other older politician. He was dressed immaculately in an obviously expensive suit, even for the long international flight. He carried himself like a man who didn’t have a care in the world. Certainly not the stance of a man with a 5 million contract on his head. He must have had a lot of confidence in our ability to protect him. Without waiting for his protection detail in the car, he boarded the plane. Rumlow and I both met him at the door.

“Sir,” Rumlow greeted Malick in a professional tone. “It’s a pleasure to meet you again. This is Agent Lyngley, she’ll be part of our protection detail this weekend. If you want to get seated we can get into the air shortly.”

Malick didn’t even glance in my direction, despite the introduction. I got the feeling despite being the obvious choice he didn’t care for my presence. I took that as my cue to have a seat and be invisible. As I walked past Rumlow, he reached into his pocket and pressed the promised drugs to help m get through the flight into my hand. 

The protection detail from the car were right on board a few seconds later. I knew Gibson and Wilkerson well enough. It was especially good to see Gibson back at work and on a mission after his time off last year.

The three of us took our seats away from Rumlow and Malick. Both of them were in deep discussion. Well, deep discussion on Rumlow’s behalf and Malick was arguing with him. I couldn’t catch exactly what they were saying, but Malick was very unhappy about something. It seemed to be the day for it. I greeted Gibson and Wilkerson before taking half an Ambien. 

“I’ll take whatever you aren’t having,” Gibson said, motioning to the ziplock bag in my lap. “I hate flying.”

“You and me both.” I threw the ziplock bag over. It was a 7-hour flight and I’d be happy to sleep through the entire thing. It would probably be the only solid few hours of sleep I’d get once we landed in France. I fiddled with my seatbelt while we were waiting for the pilots to finish doing their pre-flight. There was nothing to do but sit here and wait. 

“Drinks before taking off?” One of the SHIELD agents acting as a flight attendant came to our little section. She had three beers in her hand. 

“God yes.” Wilkerson instantly answered, holding his hand out for a beer. “I’ll need it to deal with Gibson freaking out about flying over there.”

“Go fuck yourself, Wilkerson.” Gibson took both the beers and handed one to me. “Though, why are you scared of flying Kari? You’re a pilot for fuck sake.”

“Which is the exact reason I’m scared of flying,” I said dryly, cracking open my beer. “Do you want to know how much shit can go wrong?”

“No.” Gibson cut me off straight away. “I don’t need to hear that. Drink your beer and tell us more about your last training exercise before we all pass out.”

I did as I was told after a swig of beer. The gossip ran pretty deep in STRIKE so the guys knew the basics pretty well. I filled them in on the rest of the details until Gibson nodded off right before the pilots started up the jet. The Ambien and beer sent me to sleep as we started to taxi to the runway. I stayed that way until the SHIELD agent shook me awake with a coffee and set a plate of food down in front of me. 

“We’re an hour and a half from landing,” she provided helpfully as she set the cutlery down beside my plate. My brain wasn’t working well enough to do anything but stare at her. “If you need anything else, call out.”

I managed to mumble out what vaguely sounded like a thank you. My brain was foggy and it felt like hours before I could l sit up and drink my coffee. I didn’t begin to fell human until halfway through my steak and vegetables. I was fully awake in time for landing and deal with the white-knuckled grip on my seat from the less than ideal landing. 

There was one advantage to traveling this way. There were customs officials already waiting for us on the tarmac. We didn’t need to go through the airport terminal like normal people. It was all done within 5 minutes and we were speeding off into the dark morning. It was 0400 here. It was going to be a very long day. Gibson and Wilkerson took Malick while Rumlow and I hung back for 15 minutes to give us a gap to make sure Malick was secure en-route before proceeding. Both of us were silent as we watching the other car on the GPS tracker on Rumlow’s iPad. It was a small sigh of relief from both of us when Wilkerson said they were clear with no one following them.

“So slight change of plans.”

We’d barely made it out of the airport before Rumlow spoke. I was about to make a snarky reply but he cut me off.

“Malick is not happy with having you as his date. You’re younger than his daughter and he was very adamant he is not Senator Stern.”

I vaguely recalled Senator Stern was one of the politicians very against Tony Stark and him being Iron Man. Beyond that, I didn’t know the man.

“So, we have you going as his interpreter now,” Rumlow continued as he glanced back at me. “It’s not perfect but it’s what we have.”

“Is this going to change anything else?” I asked. Rumlow was right about it not being ideal. At these high society functions, most people spoke English so having an interpreter was rather unnecessary. But there was no way to put me out there as a guest. These people’s social circles were small and an unfamiliar face would stand out from a mile away.

“No, everything else will run as planned.” Rumlow was tapping his fingers against the steering wheel looking mildly frustrated. “Security is as tight as we’ll ever get it in the house and for the function. Still no word on the assassin who took the contract but we have a list of possibilities. It’s on my iPad for you to look at.”

Rumlow picked up his iPad and held it over his shoulder for me. I took it from him and unlocked it. The file was already up for me. I flicked through the unfamiliar faces until I came to a file with no photo on it. It was a female assassin given the nickname of Red Death. There was very little information on her. She was basically a ghost. In and out without anyone ever seeing anything. She liked to leave quite a mess of her victims though, hence the nickname. 

Looking at these faces staring back at me it was hard to believe this was the life that Clint and Natasha had both led before SHIELD. If things had been different I could have been staring and a grainy photo of them. 

I memorized the faces while Rumlow drove us to Malick’s private residence. He avoided all the major roads which meant no sightseeing. I’d been to Paris before though I was still disappointed when I didn’t get to see the major tourist attractions. I had to remind myself I was here to work and not wander leisurely through Paris gawking at the Eiffel Tower. 

Malick’s private resident was tucked away in a secluded street. The driveway seemed to go on forever as we pulled up to the sprawling mansion. The mansion in front of us was quiet, as planned and our arrival was very low key. No one came out to greet us and Rumlow got the door for me. 

The inside of the mansion was even more impressive. While I remember Stark’s mansion in Malibu being very minimalist and modern, this one swung the other way. It was very old school English manor type feel inside. It reminded me a little of Xavier’s mansion at my old school. The dark wood and rich fabrics made it feel very cozy. Oil paintings lined the walls, along with expensive looking artifacts decorating the rooms. The main foyer had a double stair leading up to the upper levels. From the house plans we were provided, there were 7 bedrooms all with ensuite on the upper level along with the main study which is where we’d run the mission command from.

“Breakfast or sleep?” Rumlow asked as we paused at the bottom of the stairs. “How long are you going to need to look presentable for tonight?”

“Breakfast.” My stomach growled despite eating on the jet. “Barton usually does my hair and makeup so it’ll take me at least 2 hours to do it myself.”

“I’ll give you 3 hours then,” Rumlow said as he motioned towards one of the rooms to the side. “Kitchen is that way.”

After breakfast, the day passed slowly. There wasn’t much to do except wait until tonight. Beyond turning my phone on to send a quick message to Coulson, I didn’t have my phone to keep me amused. Rumlow got all of us together again around lunchtime to go over all the planning again. It was tedious going over everything for the 20th time though I knew it was necessary. It also made me very glad that I didn’t have to do this normally. Missions with Natasha and Clint seemed so much simpler. We didn’t have all the other people to worry about, it was the three of us trusting each other to do our job. 

By late afternoon I went to my room and took my time enjoying the opulent bathroom. It had everything I needed, making me wonder if this actually Malick’s daughter bathroom. The luxury bath products and female accessories certainly pointed towards it. I was glad for the extra hour because I needed it by the time I wrangled my hair into something acceptable and I was happy with my make up.

My dress was definitely not going to look like something an interpreter would wear. There was nothing demure about the bold deep purple dress. I had more skin showing than was covering, despite the long formal length of the dress. The backless, vee neck halter dress was still stunning and fit me perfectly. At least the slit up the side of my leg was on the opposite side of my scarred thigh. I could easily hide a knife on my thigh thanks to the material not being too clingy. The top of my thigh high stockings easily concealed the throwing knife without needing a holster for it.

I made my way downstairs with 20 minutes to spare out of my three hours. Rumlow was already there with the group of his men who’d act as security on the ground. Whatever they were talking about stopped abruptly as I came down the stairs. 

“Wow.” Gibson was the first to speak as I walked up to them. “You are a girl. Who would have thought?”

“Go fuck yourself, Gibson,” I said with a sickly sweet smile. “I can still kick your ass in these 4-inch heels.”

Despite the teasing, I felt a little bad for Gibson. He was a sniper and being put on the ground crew made him look very uncomfortable. But he was one of the few who weren’t ex-military on Rumlow’s team. The non-military guys tended to blend into a crowd better and not stand out quite as much. Tex would have been long gone by now and probably nearly in position to watch everything from 2 blocks away. 

“Enough,” Rumlow cut our teasing off before it could get started properly. He had his game face on and looked ready to take on the world. “Earpiece.”

Rumlow held out the small discreet earpiece I’d be using. It fit snugly in my ear canal and came to life instantly with the sounds of the room coming back into my ear with a half second delay. As I got it into place, Malick came down the stairs. I was met with a pair of raised eyebrows from him.

“You scrub up better than expected Agent Lyngley,” Malick said, pausing as he got me. His scrutinizing gaze didn’t miss anything as his eyes went over my body. I felt uncomfortable under his stare, not because he was being a dirty old man and checking me out. Rather I felt like he was analyzing me, almost like he was looking for any weakness. Considering he’d ignored me completely on the jet, it was an unexpected turn of events. Still, I could be professional and polite when I needed to.

“Thank you, Sir.” I schooled my face into what I hoped wasn’t too fake of a smile. “Shall we?” 

A limousine was already waiting for us. A limousine was probably the wrong word for it. The car might look like one but it was built more like a tank. The SHIELD designed car even was fully armored and had enough firepower built into it to take a small town down. Rumlow opened the door for both of us before climbing in the front. Malick was polite enough to sit in the seat across from me. I felt awkward sitting there in silence as the limousine pulled away. 

“Tell me Agent Lyngley.” Malick started as we pulled out onto the road. When his heavy gaze settled on me, I wanted the awkward silence back. “Why did you come on this mission?”

That was a weird fucking question. I came on this mission because I was ordered to. It wasn’t on a whim or me begging Rumlow to come with him. Right now I’d very much like to be naked in Gareth’s apartment with a good bottle of whiskey.

“I came because Agent Rumlow thinks highly of my abilities to be versatile.” I used Rumlow’s words from earlier. “And I appreciate his confidence in my abilities to get the job done.”

“Given your STRIKE team’s record of inability to follow orders, I wonder if Agent Rumlow’s confidence in your abilities is misplaced.”

I had to give it to Malick. He didn’t mince words. Though he was polite enough not to come outright and ask if I was a disobedient little shit like my teammates. Or whether I was likely to cause a scene by not following orders. 

“There is one thing I am very confident about and that’s my ability to follow orders and do my job to the best of my ability.” I was quick to respond. At least I didn’t have to lie about that. I was the only one of us who didn’t regularly break the rules “My Mom always said I was the better behaved of her children and I think Agent Coulson now shares that sentiment.”

Humour was always a good way to deflate a situation. While Malick didn’t smile at my quip, he didn’t look quite as stern as before. He gave me a sharp nod and turned his attention to his phone. I felt like I had passed some sort of test. What the test was, I had no idea.

The rest of the drive passed slowly. Our brief conversation didn’t make things any less awkward in the car. Without my own phone, I could only look out the window and watch the scenery pass by and listen to the chatter from the team on my earpiece. Like our trip here, it was dark so there wasn’t much to see. 

When we arrived, I didn’t get time to linger and enjoy the sight of the Shangri-La Hotel. Rumlow had us out of the car and ushered past the small crowd gathered at the entrance. We made it into the vast LeGrand Salon where the pre-dinner drinks were being held. 

As soon as he was in the public view, Malick’s face instantly transformed into someone warm and welcoming. As we breezed through the room, we were stopped straight away by another middle-aged man.

“Ah, Gideon.” The man spoke with a heavy French accent. He took Malick’s outstretched hand and shook it vigorously. “So glad you could make it. Who is this beautiful woman you have with you?”

“Remi,” Malick said with a nod. “This is my translator, Anastasia. My team insisted I needed one.”

Malick’s last sentence was said with an over-exaggerated eye roll. Still, I smiled while Remi laughed at his sarcastic comment. Even if it was for show, it was a relief to see some sort of personality besides angry asshole come through in Malick. We'd decided to use my middle name during the mission brief for security reasons. I thought it was overkill considering it wasn't likely the assasin would know my name or face. Rumlow wasn't taking any chances with anything though.

“But my dear, you are worth the aggravation,” Remi switched to French. He took my hand I started to stretch out to shake his hand politely and kissed it instead. His lips lingered a lot longer than necessary on my skin. “Can I steal you from Gideon when you have a minute?”

I could hear someone snickering in my ear. One of the team obviously understood French. Still, I smiled wider at Remi’s charm. It wasn’t hard to fall for. Even though he looked old enough to be my Dad, he was very charming.

“For you, I will make sure I have five minutes,” I said in my own French. I was a little slower than I’d like to be from lack of practice lately. But I could still perfect it.

“Such a perfect accent too,” Remi said in English with a wink. “I look forward to our five minutes Mademoiselle Anastasia.”

Even I had to admit, my middle name sounded very pretty with a French accent. There was no faking the slight warming of my cheeks at the flirty smile as Remi left us.

“Remi is the Defence Minister of France,” Malick said lowly as we continued on our way. He snagged two glasses of champagne from a passing waiter and handed one to me. 

I knew Remi looked vaguely familiar. There’d been a guest list as part of the mission brief, along with photos of the key figures for tonight. I only got to nod in response as someone else was already coming up to greet Malick.

Despite my reservations about being an interpreter, I did actually get to look like I was doing my job on a few occasions. It also gave me the advantage of constantly moving around the room and scanning the crowd for any faces of the assassins I was given earlier. Alpha team kept a steady stream of mission chatter as well making passing the time mostly bearable. 

I was taking a sip of champagne while half listening to Malick talk to some big oil tycoon from Saudi Arabia when someone caught my eye. It was another woman dressed in a simple strapless green dress. She was on the arm of one of the younger men amongst the party. It wasn’t anything outstanding that caught my eye. She wasn’t stunning and you could easily overlook her in a crowd. But it was the way she was walking. It sounded weird in my own head, but she walked exactly like Natasha. There was that predatory stalk in her step along with how she held her body. To most people, she would look simply uncomfortable in the company she had. I’d been watching Natasha for a year and a half now. It was unmistakable in how this woman held herself. My mind went back to the file on the assassin called Red Death. There had been a question mark about her training but I only had to look at this woman once to know she was Red Room trained. I didn't doubt this was our assassin.

Rumlow was lurking in the shadows of the room, along with most of the other private security. I caught his eye nearly instantly and inclined my head towards the brunette in green.

“There’s a lot of people in that direction Kari,” Rumlow’s voice came in my ear. I could hear the frustration in his voice easily enough. “Narrow it down.”

There was no way to discreetly do this but I had an idea. If I was wrong, I was about to wreck someones dress and embarrass myself but it was better than the alternative. The way the couple was moving they were circling closer towards us.The female had been the one leading the way. Malick was in the middle of a conversation that I couldn’t interrupt. I waited until there was a pause in the conversation.

“Please excuse me, I need to use the ladies.” I cut in with an apologetic smile.

I saw Gibson out of the corner of my eye emerge from his corner of the room. He stayed on the edge of the crowd, skirting them enough that he didn’t look out of place. But he was close enough to get to Malick is about 5 steps if needed. Malick and the man he was speaking to both nodded but went back to this conversation without an indication anything was amiss. Malick wasn't stupid. He would have already noticed Gibson moving closer to him. He shifted his position so there was a clear path to the other STRIKE agent. I quickly moved away from the two men, pretending to teeter in my heels to give off like I was already slightly tipsy.

“Do not take your fucking eyes off me,” I said quietly as I wove through the crowd. “But stay where you are until I make a move. I only have a knife on me if this goes really wrong.”

"Copy that." Rumlow was quick to comply. I'd have to thank him later on for trusting me so easily.

I drained my glass and quickly snagged another one as I walked towards the couple. The brunette was standing to the side, seemingly looking bored. By her tight posture, it wasn’t boredom. It was her coiled and ready to spring into action. As I got to the pair, I pretended to look back like someone had called my name. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the brunette’s attention snap in my direction. 

There was no stepping into her like a normal person as I'd planned. She was already sidestepping around my pretend fumble. I let the glass fall forward from my fingers like it had slipped out of my hand. With perfect reflexes, her hand shot out and she caught the glass without a drop spilling on either of us. 

We locked eyes, her blues eyes on mine. The murder was clear on her face but I didn’t flinch. Most people would have stammered an apology by now but I simply held her gaze. Time stopped as I watched her eyes widen in the realisation of what she had done and that the game was already up.

Sometimes I really hated being right. In the next heartbeat, the glass was slipping from her fingers and her free hand went to her thigh. 

There was a split second decision to make. If I went for my knife it would give her a chance to draw her gun. Now I was close enough I could see the very discreet bulge against her thigh of her own weapon. If I defended myself, I may not be quick enough to dodge a bullet. 

I went for my knife. 

In the same movement her small sidearm came out and she pointed it at me.

After Pripyat, Yelena had taught me a very valuable lesson when dealing with anyone who had trained in the Red Room. Never, ever hesitate.

I palmed my knife and without a second of hesitation, threw it at my intended mark.

The assassin didn’t hesitate either. It was like watching something happen in slow motion as her finger squeezed the trigger.

I twisted my body as soon as the knife left my fingers. For once, luck was on my side and I managed to avoid the bullet that would have gotten me in the head. Training with Natasha all this time was probably what saved my life. I knew she wouldn’t hesitate and she’d aim for an area to get me out of the way quickly. I avoided a bullet to my head and my throwing knife landed in her thigh.

She dropped her gun in shock, both of hands going to clutch at the knife now sticking out of the front of her thigh. In a blink of an eye, she had 5 STRIKE members descending on her all with their own guns drawn. 

t was like everything had been on mute as soon as I dropped that champagne glass. Now I could suddenly hear everything. People were screaming. The STRIKE guys were yelling at the assassin to get down which was coming through my earpiece as well. The function room has turned into a scene of utter chaos all within the 10 seconds everything had happened.

Rumlow shoved the assassin to her knees. There was no fight in her as she hit the ground. There was no emotion on her face at all. Her leg had to be killing her but all she did was stare ahead blankly as she got cuffed. I winced in sympathy as I saw her leg bleeding freely with my knife still sticking out of it. I knew from personal experience what it was like to be stabbed in the thigh. At least I got her in the front of her leg and not to the side.

“You’re with me,” Rumlow said glancing up at me. “Let's go.”

I didn’t need to be told twice.


	72. Chapter 72

I stood in the corner of the room being used to interrogate our unknown assassin. My own posture mirrored Rumlow, arms crossed and leaning against the wall. We both looked casual enough that you could easily mistake this as a friendly chat. I was dying to know who this woman actually was. There’d been no time for any of us to get changed. We got out of the hotel and to a SHIELD safe house as soon as she was cuffed. The ride over here had been a blur. The woman across from us had said nothing. The only sound she’d made was when Rumlow yanked the knife out of her thigh. Even then it was little more than a grunt. 

She had the type of face who could blend into a crowd easily. She wasn’t stunning not was she ugly. She simply had a face who’d you’d forget the second you walked away. There was nothing to make her stand out. For most women, they would find that a curse. But for the assassin, it would have made her line of work very easy. 

Rumlow strode forward as soon as she was finished being chained to the table. It looked like overkill with the amount of cuffs she had on. Both her legs were cuffed separately to a chair leg. Her hands were cuffed together with a chain from the table leading up to both cuffs. However, if she was Red Room like I suspected, it was probably enough cuffs to keep her contained. For the moment anyway. The man she had a date with was being questioned by a few of Rumlow’s other guys.

“That was a ballsy move back there,” Rumlow started as he lent on the table across from her. “Take out a member of the World Security Council in a public place. I respect anyone who has the courage to do something like that.”

Not even a twitch for the compliment. Her blue eyes locked onto the wall past Rumlow’s shoulder and didn’t waver. I’m not sure she blinked the entire time Rumlow was speaking to her. 

“I’m sure your English is perfectly acceptable,” I switched to Russian to see if I could get a reaction out of her. Nothing. Not even a bored sigh. “Fine. Smile for the camera then.”

I raised Rumlow’s phone and snapped a photo of her face. There was no point running this woman through facial recognition. It would take too long and Rumlow doubted we’d get anywhere with it. However, if I was right about her, Natasha might know who she was. I sent the photo to Natasha and called her as soon as it was sent. She answered within 3 rings.

“This better be fucking good Rumlow.” Natasha sounded like I’d woken her up.

“Yeah, it is because it’s me,” I said and kept going before she could say anything else. “I sent you a photo. Do you recognize her?”

There was a long pause and a rustle on the other end of the phone. As I waited, I watched Rumlow through the window. He was still talking to the assassin who hadn’t moved from her previous position.

“That’s Tatiana Sokolov.” The frown was clear in Natasha’s voice. “She was 2 years younger than me. How did you catch her?”

“She moved like you.” I looked back at Tatiana sitting across from Rumlow. “When I pretended to bump into her she side stepped around me and caught my glass like it was nothing. She glared at me expecting me to apologize then went for her gun when she realized I wasn’t who I seemed.”

“You are my clone, my work here is done.” Natasha sounded so smug. The move had been one she had told me about when you have a suspect in the room. Anyone with decent training would have the reflexes to catch the glass. If it wasn’t the suspected person, then all you had to do was act drunk and apologetic for spilling your drink on them. Her tone turned serious again in the next breath. “Has she talked?”

“No.” I shook my head, even though Natasha couldn’t see it. “I was hoping you could help with that.”

What was going to come next probably wasn’t going to be pleasant. I still wanted to scrub myself with bleach every time I remembered my introduction to interrogation with Dante. 

“She hated me,” Natasha said. I could imagine her scrunching up her nose right now. I hated digging up these memories of her training. “She was one of Yelena’s little pets.”

That sent a cold shiver down my spine. Yelena hadn’t been seen or heard from since Pripyat. There was a part of my mind that knew she wouldn’t hesitate to send in someone to try and fuck with us again.

“This isn’t Yelena though.” Natasha stopped the train of thought from running away from me. “It’s not her style and if she doing it to bait us, she’d do it herself. The bitch has too much of an ego to send in anyone else.”

I chewed my lip was listening to Natasha, trying to think of how to ask what I needed. The thought of using someone’s deepest fear against them to break them was making my skin crawl. I felt nauseous at the thought of it. I used my free hand to rub my arm to ward off the goosebumps on my skin. It had nothing to do with being cold either. 

“I know what your question is going to be.” Natasha’s next words were firm. “You use what I’m about to tell you and don’t hesitate. This woman will kill you if she senses a moment of weakness. I know you don’t like it but I’ll take you our for margaritas and nachos again when you get home to unwind.”

Fuck, the last time we had margaritas and nachos I’d been hungover for 2 days. Though I’d been able to lie on the couch and Stark’s workshop and wish to die. Natasha had to fly to New York the next day and had fobbed her hangover off as minor food poisoning. 

“No tequila this time. “ I shuddered at the memory. That had been the worst hangover of my life.

“No tequila,” Natasha promised. “All right, are you ready for this?”

Not really.

“I am.” 

5 minutes later I was striding back into the interrogation room. 

“Tatiana Sokolov,” I said as soon as I was in the door. I handed Rumlow’s phone back to him as I perched on the edge of the table. “Not your favourite name, I know. You always preferred something plainer, like Tanya.”

“How clever of you.” The sarcasm came through loud and clear as Tatiana shifted her bored gaze to me. “Did that traitorous bitch Natalia tell you that?”

Natasha was wrong when she said Tatiana hated her. The way she said Natasha’s name sounded like it was pure poison. After being ignored by Tatiana it was creepy having her full attention on me now. Her eyes ran over my face and body as if she was analyzing me. It was like the cold stare of Yelena from all those months ago. I had to suppress my shudder as I felt like I was being laid bare open to her. 

“Of course she did.” I pushed her penetrating stare from my mind. I couldn’t be thinking of Yelena or comparing the two right now. “She did train me after all. How do you think I caught you so easily?”

Tatiana’s gaze shifted to pure hate. If looks could kill, I would be dead on the spot. 

“Then you know no matter what you do, you’ll never get you want from me,” Tatiana said, venom dripping from her voice. “You may as well put a bullet in me right now.”

Natasha had warned me of this. Despite Tatiana’s blank emotion, I knew it was a lie. Tatiana had a few weakness to exploit. She’d very much want to keep living based on the stories I heard. The woman in front of me was a fighter. 

“Where’s the fun in that?” I said with an icy smile. I creeped myself out with that smile. “Besides, you well know there are worse things than death.”

The change in Tatiana was instant. Gone was the hateful expression and a flicker of fear crossed her face. It disappeared as quickly as it came on and with a sniff of indignation, she went back to no expression at all.

“Last chance,” Rumlow spoke up for the first time since I went back into the room. 

Tatiana rolled her eyes but said nothing. It was boring and predictable of us. Though there wasn’t really anything else I could say. We all knew she’d never give up the name of whoever put the contract out. Not without a great deal of persuasion. Luckily for me, Natasha had given me two very valuable pieces of information. Otherwise, we’d be here for weeks again. The downside to those two pieces of information, both of them made my skin crawl on what I had to do. 

“Fine.” I stood up again at her silence. “We’ll be back in a minute.”

It felt odd that Rumlow was taking my lead on this. He silently followed me out of the room.

“What do you need?” Rumlow asked as soon as the door clicked shut. 

“A bathtub, as big as we can find.” I reached up to rub my bare arms. “There are only two things that woman is scared of.”

Rumlow raised his eyebrows looking at me expectingly. I knew this had to be done but it was making me feel so dirty for using someone’s worst fears against them. The shitty thing was, only I could be the one leading this. The champagne and canapés from earlier were sitting in my stomach uncomfortably. I wish my earlier bravado was back with me. Things would be easier if I could simply trust myself to do a good job. If this had been a sniper shot, I would have found it so much better. Interrogation and torture just felt wrong.

“One is other women holding power over her.” Admitting that made me have to swallow back bile hastily. 

The story behind it, though brief in detail was a horrifying one. Some of the older girls in the Red Room liked to make the younger ones their personal slaves in return for small privileges. When Tatiana had been younger she’d refused the advances of one of the older girls. The older girl had pushed Tatiana into a frozen pond in retaliation. She’d nearly drowned but one of the instructors saved her at the last second. It had been so cold the pond has frozen over again within minutes of Tatiana struggling in it. The instructor had left it until the last second to get her out and Tatiana had nearly died from the resulting pneumonia that followed. After that, she’d become one of Yelena’s pets simply for protection. While she hated it, Tatiana wasn’t dumb. She knew her chances of survival depended on it.

“And the other is she’s terrified of frozen bodies of water, specifically one she’s trapped under.” I finished. “Which is why I need a big bathtub. Don’t fill it up yet though.”

“I’ll go organize it.” Rumlow was all business, he gave my shoulder a firm squeeze. “Do what you have to do.”

This was a big thing Rumlow was trusting me with. I really appreciated his silent support for letting me get on and do what was needed to do. He didn’t argue with me or point out I was completely under qualified to do this. He was taking everything in his stride with a nod and getting what I needed.

I walked back into the room and steeled myself for what I was about to do. I couldn’t let her see a glimpse of weakness about this. I had to be cold as ice and later I could scrub myself in bleach and drown out the unpleasant memories this was going to bring up with a good scotch.

“So it’s just you and me,” I announced as I walked over to the table. “Let’s get comfortable and have a little chat.”

Tatiana rolled her eyes at me and shifted her gaze to the ceiling. She heaved out a bored sigh.

“Yeah, I know, blah, blah blah.” I circled the chair so I was standing behind her. “Nothing is going to scare you or make you talk. Believe me, I’ve heard it all before.”

I placed my hand on her bare upper arms, slowly rubbing them up and down her skin. Tatiana instantly stiffened under my touch. I made sure to stay away enough so she couldn’t headbutt me. 

“You know,” I continued when I didn’t get a response, not that I was expecting one. “That leg wound looks nasty, I should take a closer look at it.”

Without waiting for the nonverbal response I knew I’d be getting, I bent down and grabbed the hem of her dress and yanked it up. Like anyone in her profession, she was well muscled and had shapely legs. I made sure I lingered my hands on her skin like I’d done with her arms. It made me extremely uncomfortable as I did it. By the way, she was straining to get away as far away from my touch I didn’t doubt she was as uncomfortable as I was feeling.

“That looks nasty,” I cooed in a voice which creeped me out. I sounded far too much like Yelena the way I said it. “Does it hurt?”

“Why?” Tatiana’s voice came out strained. “Do you want to kiss it better?”

I glanced up at her face. The only sign she was uncomfortable was her squirming in the seat and a bead of sweat appeared on her forehead. 

“No, there’s better places I can kiss.” I let the innuendo hang heavily in my tone. “I’m sure you know that only another woman can please another woman. Don’t you think?”

There was no reply from her. I stood up again, leaving her thigh exposed right up to the line of her panties. 

“You know, I could make things much more comfortable for you,” I said, circling back to behind her. I kept my hand on her at all times, caressing her skin. “We both know this will end in a prison cell for you. There’s no question about that. But I can call in some favors and give you whatever you need.”

I hated the words coming from my mouth. I was sure I’d need to bleach my hands along with my brain after all this was through. Every inch of her bare skin was covered in goosebumps. I’d bet good money on it not from her being excited or cold either. Maybe I would need that tequila to go with the margaritas and nachos. 

Tatiana snorted at my offer. Her eyes fixed firmly on the wall in front of her. My part here was up. I only had to do enough to make her uncomfortable and the next part should tip her over the edge. 

“Shame.” I leant forward and used my most seductive tone in her ear. “Unlike all the other idiots in the world, I see a gorgeous woman in front of me.”

“I see how you got ahead in your job now.” Tatiana jerked away from me as far as she could. “I bet you and Natalia make a pretty couple. These buffoons would love seeing you two together. The Black Widow and her pretty Pale Spider. Yelena told me all about you.”

Pale Spider, that was a new one. It seemed fitting considering who I trained with.

“I bet she did.” I pushed a smirk on my face, though Tatiana couldn’t see me. “Did Yelena like the bullet I put into her shoulder?”

“You should have put it in the bitch’s head.” Tatiana’s blunt words made me raise an eyebrow in surprise. Natasha had said they were at least allies. “The psycho cunt gives the rest of us a bad name.”

This was a distraction ploy. I could see it a mile away. Part of me wanted to let my curiosity get the better of me and find out what she knew about Yelena. But I knew I couldn’t tread down that path, no matter how tempting it may be. 

“I will next time.” I pressed a brief kiss on the back of Tatiana’s next. At the contact of my lips, her entire body shot forward as far as her restraints would let her. “I’ll be back.”

She stayed in the same rigid position as I left the room. It wasn’t until I was well and truly clear and watching her through the one-way window did she breathe. I couldn’t hear the long shuddering breath, but it was hard to miss. She looked close to hyperventilating for a few moments until she got herself under control. Despite what she had done, I knew her fear all too well. It was one of the last things I remembered as one of the idiots who drugged me in the Air Force grabbed me. The fear that cut so deep you could feel it in your bones. It was paralyzing and there was nothing you could do to override your basic human instinct. 

“I’m guessing she didn’t talk?” Rumlow’s voice made me jump. 

I’d been so preoccupied with Tatiana and my own memories I hadn’t heard him coming.

“No.” My eyes stayed on the woman in the room. She was under control again and staring ahead at the blank wall. Besides the sweat that had gathered on her forehead, she looked the picture of control. 

“You all right?” Rumlow asked as he came to stand beside me. 

“Not really.” I gave him a wavering smile and a small shake of my head. “I don’t understand why I can’t fill her up with truth serum. It would be easier.”

“Because truth serum gives people heart attacks when they’re under stress.” Rumlow gave me a strange look. “We don’t use it anymore. Where did you get that idea from?”

Just you fucking wait until I get home Barton and Romanoff. Neither of them told me that when they stuck me with truth serum early in my training. No wonder Coulson was pissed when he found out about it.

“Later.” I shook my head, pushing the memory away. That felt like a lifetime ago. “Let’s get this over and done with.”

“You’ve got the lead. I’ll follow. She’s all yours.”

Rumlow’s determined tone gave me the second wind I needed to do this. All Rumlow had to do was nod at one of his guys waiting in the corridor and the group of armed to the teeth STRIKE members went into the room. No one was gentle with Tatiana as she got yanked to her feet. The woman was steady on her feet, despite the deep stab wound. It must have been hurting because by the time we were in the next room, she was sweating heavily and the blood was freely flowing from the wound. 

The men roughly shoved her into position, having her standing at the bottom of the bathtub. It was only a standard one. She was going to have to be folded up to fit in it properly. At least she wasn’t my height, that could make things very uncomfortable for her.

“Last chance Tatiana,” I said, standing in the doorway. “Who hired you?”

Nothing. Part of me envied her ability to appear completely calm on the surface. 

“No?” I asked, watching her for any sign she was going to waver. Her training shone through as I stared at her expressionless face. “All right then. Throw her in.”

This time Tatiana did struggle. She fought against the strong men holding her back. The 6 of them quickly turned into 8, including Rumlow as she fought like a caged animal. One of them got a bloody nose for his work but they managed to get her into the tub. Her limbs were yanked around in uncomfortable angles to make her fit so her head was going to be under the water level when the tub as full. It was only when a large brick was placed on her chest did she stop struggling. The look of pure hatred was clear on her face as I walked around to the tap.

“There’s a little something about me that I don’t tend to show off much.” I kept my tone casual as I lent down and turned the cold tap on. The water pipes groaned for a second before the icy water came spilling out. I kept it on deliberately slow to draw this out. “If you’ve talked to Yelena since I last saw her, I’m sure you know.”

Nothing again. Just a venomous look as Tatiana stared at me.

“I have this little ability.” I turned the palm of my hand upwards. “Some call it a gift. SHIELD like to call us Enhanced. The real of the world uses the term mutant.”

Tatiana’s eyes shifted to my palm as I let the moisture in the air gather around it. A moment later, the ice started to form a perfect ball. 

“It’s handier than you think.” I casually dropped the ball of ice into the already cold water. “Do you know that I can freeze over a person’s body in about 3 seconds? It’s surprisingly easy to do since the human body has so much moisture to use.”

That was a lie. I’d kill the two guys back at my Squadron by freezing them over. Clint had theorized that I could actually use the body’s natural moisture sources against them and kill someone very effectively without having to coat someone’s body in inches of ice. 

“So.” I bent down and trailed my fingers through the water. Tatiana’s eyes followed me the entire time. It was easy to make little bits of ice trail through the water with my fingertips. “While I hear freezing to death is a rather peaceful way to go. I imagine drowning under a sheet of ice isn’t quite so pleasant.”

That got her attention. We all had our fears and Natasha had been right about Tatiana’s. Her face went pale under her now smudged makeup. Beads of sweat appeared on her forehead as she stared at me. Gone was the hateful look. It was only for a few moments but her face became someone who wasn’t a trained killer. It was someone who was a fighter and had realized that their worst nightmare was about to become reality again. She looked very young and vulnerable as our eyes locked. 

“A name. That’s all I want.” I tried again hoping a little fear might make her talk. 

Tatiana started to shiver. I could see her lips turning blue already as I kept trailing lines of ice through the water. Despite her shivering, the sweat was running down her face. Her lips remained sealed as the water slowly got higher in the tub.

“Whether I talk or not isn’t going to make a difference,” Tatiana said through her chattering teeth. “A name isn’t going to change what will happen.”

I glanced over to Rumlow to see if he knew what the hell that meant. He raised an eyebrow in return and shook his head ever so slightly. 

“It’ll mean you won’t freeze to death in a bathtub,” I said bluntly, turning back to her. “The name shouldn’t mean anything to you any longer. If you give us the name the rest of your life is going to go a hell of a lot smoother. If not, enjoy your last few minutes on this Earth.”

Tatiana’s stare didn’t waver from me. The only sound in the room was the water splashing into the bathtub. The seconds ticked by as the tub slowly filled up. As the water started to crawl up Tatiana’s neck, I broke the silence.

“If you change your mind, tap the ice 5 times.”

I turned the water on harder and stood up. I stood over Tatiana and simply watched as the water rose up. Tatiana tipped her chin back as the water reached her face. Her breathing was getting heavier with every second going by. She sucked in one huge lungful of air as her mouth got covered. Her nose was the last thing to go under a few seconds later.

As soon as her face was covered, I turned the tap off. I bent down and put my hand an inch above the water. I took my own deep breath as I let my power gather on my fingertips. It was hard to get the ice to hover just above the water. It took a lot of concentration to not let my power take over and freeze the whole body of water. The ice settled above Tatiana with no room to let her have a pocket of air. 

I could hear her already struggling under the sheet of ice. There were dull thumps against the side of the bath echoed in the quiet room. 

“How long are you going to leave her under there?” Rumlow asked. I glanced over at him standing in the corner of the room, arms crossed and looking completely at ease. 

“Until she taps.” I stared at her blurry figure moving under the inches of ice. From what Natasha told me, Tatiana would crack. If not, I’d just sentenced someone to death and become the executioner. 

“And what if she doesn’t?”

I had no answer to that. I had to believe I’d done the right thing here. Rumlow wasn’t stopping anything so at least I knew he had some confidence in what I was doing.

The seconds dragged by and I couldn’t take my eyes off what I’d done in front of me. Natasha had once told me the Red Room was all about pushing limits. One of those things was they were very hard on the girls holding their breath for a long as humanly possible. It made them less likely to panic when being waterboarded. It’s why I knew I could leave Tatiana as long as possible under there.

The struggles in the tub grew quieter. I held my breath as everything in the room went silent a few moments later. The silence was near deafening as I stared at the figure under the sheet of ice. It was hard to see, but I’m sure she’d finally stopped moving. 

“Fuck.” I took a step forward as I inwardly cursed my own cockiness. I’d just killed a very valuable suspect. I was going to be in so much trouble. A noise from the tub stopped me mid stride.

It was faint, but there it was. 5 taps on the ice in rapid succession. There was no mistaking it. In my second of hesitation, the 5 quick taps came again, louder this time. I crossed the distance to the tub and put my hand on the ice. I pushed my power into, taking care not to freeze anything else in the tub. A second later, it shattered underneath my hand. Rumlow was at the head of the tub in an instant and yanking Tatiana above the water line.

She came up gasping and coughing. Her lips were blue and I don’t think I’d ever seen someone so pale before. 

“Aldon Machar,” Tatiana said through her chattering teeth. She stopped to cough a few more times. 

I took pity on her and pushed her forward a little so she could clear her chest better. Underneath my hand, I could feel her struggling to get her breath back. Her heart was pounding so fast, I could see the pulse point in her neck jumping out with every rapid beat. Even though she wasn’t showing it, she was terrified. Her eyes were closed and there was a look of utter defeat on her face. It made me wonder if this is what Clint saw all these years ago when he had Natasha at the end of an arrow. A scared and lonely person who didn’t want the life they were thrust into. But they really didn’t want to die either. There was still a person under all those years of training and conditioning.

“Where is he?” Rumlow asked. I looked over at Rumlow to see him frowning. The name was vaguely familiar to me. I’m sure it was the War Lord Bravo team had been trying to track down.

“Last I heard the border of Syria and Iraq.” Tatiana was being very cooperative. She bent forward and had a few more deep hacking coughs. “Get me out of this tub and I’ll tell you everything I know.”

“One wrong move and you go straight back in there.” Rumlow warned. The hardness in his voice wasn’t giving any doubts that it would happen too.

Tatiana nodded her consent. Her body didn’t cooperate when Rumlow pulled her out of the tub. Her limbs looked half frozen still as she tried to get her footing. Rumlow was at least kind enough to let her get her footing and bearings before pushing her down into the chair in the room. Tatiana didn’t make a move as Rumlow re-cuffed her to the chair. She sat there, shivering violently. I could hear her teeth still chattering from across the room. Her wet dress clung to her body, no doubt adding to her discomfort. I went to the door and stuck my head out the door. Gibson was standing guard. 

“Can we get a blanket?” I asked him in a low voice. “We don’t need her catching pneumonia.”

Laura would smack me for that comment. I could almost hear her lecturing me now about being cold had nothing to do with getting sick. Gibson didn’t argue though, he nodded and went off to find the item. It only took a minute for him to come back with a thick quilt and a survival blanket as well. 

“Thanks.” I took the offered items and went back inside. Tatiana was coughing again, deep, wet hacking coughs. It sounded awful. I draped the survival blanket around her first, then the quilt. I expected a snarky comment but she said nothing. I did see her clutch at the blankets as much as her hands would allow her. 

“Aldon Machar,” Tatiana said with a sniff as soon as I stepped back from her. “He’s not what he seems. How do you think he’s able to move so quickly and unseen?”

I glanced at Rumlow, coming up blank with the answer. The guy was reported to have a 200 strong mercenary army with him. No one had any idea how he was able to move so quickly and quietly. The only way he could possibly do it is if he had some kind of power.

“He’s Enhanced?” I asked, my stomach twisted uncomfortably at that thought. Men like Aldon were bad enough without any type of abilities. He slaughtered anyone who stood in his way. So far SHIELD had nothing on his motives, it seemed like he simply enjoyed causing chaos. 

“He can manipulate people’s into doing what he wants.” Tatiana’s gaze shifted to me. “He has to touch someone to make it happen. But he made it quite clear during our meeting what would happen to me if I didn’t take his contract or if I failed.”

Tatiana was choosing the lesser of two evils. Whatever it was that Aldon threatened her with must have been good to rattle her. No wonder she had talked, even if it had taken some hard persuasion to make her do so.

“And what was that?” Rumlow didn’t look convinced. 

I didn’t blame him. Someone like Tatiana could be feeding us a lot of lies and we wouldn’t know the difference. 

“He told one of his soldiers to pull the pin on a grenade and put it in his mouth.” Tatiana shuddered visibly, this time not from the cold. “The man did so without hesitation. I made sure I kept my distance after that.”

Even Rumlow flinched at the brutal image. My stomach churned uncomfortably yet again. After this was finished, I’m sure I was going to puke.

“What does Aldon want?” Rumlow asked, crossing his arms again. “And how do we know this isn’t a trap? Or you’re speaking bullshit to save your own ass.”

“Go and see for yourself,” Tatiana said stiffly before rattling off a set of coordinates. “He’s so convinced he is untouchable, he’s not hiding his presence. He wants what all people crave. Power, wealth and a kingdom to call his own. He’ll burn the world down if he has to.”

Typical. I had to resist rolling my eyes. Why is it that the bad guys were all usually power tripping nut jobs? This one was worse because he could force people to do what he wanted.

Rumlow looked at Tatiana for a long moment before turning on his heel and leaving the room. Tatiana’s attention turned back to me. She looked bored with everything going on here.

“You gave in quicker than I thought you would,” I said to her. I was torn between being impressed at how stoic she was and downright suspicious of all of this.

“You hit harder and quicker than I thought you would,” Tatiana said, coughing harshly again. “You certainly don’t play with your food.”

Her dry quip made the corners my lips tug up a little. She looked terrible. I thought she might have got some color back in her by now. Her lips were still blue and she looked like she was still catching her breath. 

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned with you ladies from the Red Room, is that I can’t blink and to hit first and think later.” I wasn’t lying with that statement. Yelena’s taunt of pulling the trigger first would never leave me. I still heard that in my nightmares sometimes. 

Tatiana snorted but said nothing else. The only sound in the room was her raspy breathing and the hacking cough that racked her body every few seconds. 

It was awkward standing there watching her cough. There was no real need for me to stay in the room but I had nowhere else to be. The only thing I wanted to do now is to find out if what she was saying was true. My feet were starting to ache from standing in my heels for so long. Someone had thankfully kept the heat on in the room so I wasn’t freezing in my skimpy dress. It felt like hours dragged by until Rumlow poked his head back into the room. He motioned for me to come out.

“Don’t miss me too much,” I said sarcastically before I turned to walk out of the room. Our of the corner of my eye, I saw Tatiana roll her eyes at my comment. I managed to hide my smile at her attitude. It was exactly the same thing I’d do if I was in her situation. If life had been different, she may have had the same chance Natasha had. I couldn't see that happening. Not with the connections she had affiliation with.

“It checks out,” Rumlow said as soon as I was out of the door. He handed me a printed photo that looked like it had been taken from a drone. “She wasn’t lying.”

“So what now?” I studied the photo. It was of a tiny town that backed onto a mountain range. Tatiana hadn’t been wrong in saying he wasn’t hiding. The crates of weapons out in the open along with several anti-aircraft guns strategically positioned around the tiny town. 

“Now we go home and work out how to bring this son of a bitch down.” Rumlow held his hand out for the photo. He jerked his head towards the closed door. “The SHIELD base here will take her and escort her to the Fridge after they get a full confession from her. We’ll go back to Malick’s and wait for the Quinjet. Ready?”

“Let’s go.” It was going to be a very long night. Now I had stopped, the tiredness was starting to creep in. It’d been a very, very long day. 

“You don’t want to say goodbye to your new friend?” Rumlow said in a teasing tone as we walked away.

“No, I’m good.” I scrunched my nose up. “That’s another thing to add to my nightmares. I don’t think I’ll be forgetting her face anytime soon.”

“It’s when you forgot the faces it becomes more of a problem.” Rumlow gave me a sympathetic look. “That’s when you know its time to leave the job.”

“So you’ve never forgotten a face of someone you’ve interrogated?” That was deep coming from Rumlow. It made me look at him in a new light. I thought he was a tough bastard who never let anything get to him. He certainly never showed it.

“Never.”

Rumlow’s simple word instantly made me feel better. I knew sleep would be horrible tonight but it was comforting to know I wasn’t alone in this. 

“You did good today, Kari,” Rumlow continued, smiling at me. “Very good. I better tell Coulson to be careful because I might start taking you permanently.”

“Very funny.” I rolled my eyes. As usual, Rumlow changed the subject as soon as stuff got too heavy. “Besides, Evans asked first. You’re definitely the last choice possible. Actually, I think I’d rather be a Specialist than join your team.”

“Ouch,” Rumlow said with a chuckle. He clutched at his heart dramatically. “You wound me deeply.”

I knew this was partly to put me in a good mood after getting my hands dirty in there. Rumlow was the master of keeping the mood light and joking after something serious. I’d seen that well enough in Egypt. It was a welcome change from the serious tone of the evening though. We joked with each other until we were in the cars and speeding back to Malick’s estate. A few of Rumlow’s guys were staying back as extra guards for Tatiana and would head to the Fridge with her. 4 others would stay with Malick and accompany him back to DC. The rest of us would head back in a Quinjet. The way things sounded, I doubted I was going to get any sleep for the next few weeks. Having the name and location of Aldon was going to send SHIELD into a frenzy.

It was a fight to keep my eyes open as the car’s traveled through Paris. All the adrenaline from tonight was wearing off very quickly. My feet ached and I could feel blisters forming on my heels. I’d happily chew off my own arm for some food and a change of clothes. It was a little after 0200 when we finally got back to Malick’s estate. I only had time to get changed before the unmistakable sound of a Quinjet filled the air. I hastily grabbed my bags and despite my rush to get there, I was the last one on. 

“All right people, listen up,” Rumlow called out as I was stowing my gear. “Once we get back to DC, everyone is on call 24/7. Do not be more than an hour away from the Triskelion. We’ve got intel that we need to act on very soon. Understood?”

The various acknowledgments echoed around the back of the Quinjet. I’d finished stowing my gear and I tiredly made my way up to the pilot. As exhausted as I was feeling, I wasn’t about to let him fly just yet. I’d wait until I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer before I relinquished the controls. To my surprise, it was Wagner, one of the pilots who I’d been with during my punishment for the locker room incident. The only decent pilot of all of them.

“Ma’am.” Wagner instantly got up from the controls and shifted to the co-pilot seat. “She’s all yours. Let me know if you need me to take over if you want a bit of shut-eye.”

I really had to work on my fear of flying. I wasn’t going to be any good if I had to take Ambien every time I wasn’t flying. I was tired enough that it was easy to make the next decision. Wagner was a good pilot. He was about the only one I fly with that didn’t make me nervous.

“Please.” I motioned to the pilot seat. “She’s all yours. I think I need a nap right now.”

I may as well sleep as much as I could. The next few weeks were going to get crazy busy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're off and running! Lots of exciting things to happen soon. Thanks for the comments kudos everyone, I love every single one of them!


	73. Chapter 73

“It’s not fair.” Natasha flopped back on her couch. “Why am I getting sick now? Of all fucking days….”

Natasha had to trail off so she could sit up again. I quickly handed her the bucket she’d been using to throw up in when she couldn’t make it to the toilet. She dry heaved but nothing came out. She looked utterly miserable sitting on the couch wrapped up in a cocoon of blankets.

A stomach bug had gone around the teams. It had originated from Alexi coming home from playgroup not feeling well a week ago. There’d been a team barbecue that night and suddenly people were dropping like flies within 24 hours. The resulting bug had given everyone a nasty case of diarrhea and vomiting at the same time. I had it the day after Alexi had started being sick and spent a day on the toilet with a bucket. Once Clint got it, Natasha avoided both of us like the plague until we were well over it. She thought she’d gotten away with not getting sick until last night.

“I told you not to go to Sam’s.” Clint handed Natasha a bottle of water. “Just because he’d stopped throwing up doesn’t mean he wasn’t still contagious.”

“I know,” Natasha whined, “I want to come with you guys.”

We were leaving for a mission to hunt Aldon down today. Natasha had been throwing up since 0200 this morning and could barely keep water down. Coulson had to order her to stay home and she was very unhappy about missing out.

“Jared will be home tonight,” I pointed out to her. “He’ll come over and keep you entertained. Probably in a hazmat suit but at least it’s some kind of company, right?”

My quip was only met with the most pitiful look I’d ever seen from Natasha. It reminded me of the look Alexi would give me when I had to leave. I did feel sorry for her. This was the biggest mission since Stark had gone missing. Alpha, Bravo and Delta teams would be on the ground with Charlie and Echo teams on standby. The last few weeks had been absolute chaos with trying to put this mission together. All of the teams had been training their asses off. I’d never spent so much time at the range as I had these last few weeks. I’d learned how to rappel out of a Quinjet and we’d been hammering out close quarters drills as well. We’d be at work by 0500 and the earliest we got home one night was 1830. 

Jared had been the one gathering all the intel for this mission. I’d only see him in mission briefs before he’d be gone again. He wasn’t able to get close to the remote village where Aldon was stationed. The warlord had everything locked down within a 20 miles radius with his ever-growing army. Given how remote the town was, it wasn’t hard to hold his perimeter either. We were going in the cover of darkness, Quinjets cloaked and landing smack bang in the middle of the rural town. It was bold and risky. There was no other way to be doing it though. 

I’d honestly thought I’d be the one being left at home. The anniversary of Riley’s death was in 3 days. There had been quite the debate about me being allowed to go on this mission. On Coulson’s request, I’d been seeing Andrew every single day while all the lead up was happening. In the end, it was Rumlow who’d said I was better off in the field being busy than sitting at home by myself. I’d agreed and by some minor miracle, so had Andrew, along with Clint and Natasha. Coulson and Evans were both unhappy about it but I was allowed to go, on the condition I didn’t leave Clint’s side. Rumlow’s confidence in me was a big ego boost. He made me feel like I could take on the world after Tatiana’s interrogation. I owed him a good bottle of bourbon once this was all over for sticking his neck out for me, again.

“We have to go,” Clint said, shooting a sympathetic look at Natasha. “Rest up. Maybe you can tag along when Echo team leaves.”

“Be safe.” Natasha sighed looking defeated. “Leave some bad guys for me.”

“We will.” I gave Natasha a reassuring smile. “Get better.”

Natasha grunted, pulling her blanket around her tighter. I didn’t doubt as soon as we left, she’d be fast asleep. While the bug was over in 24 hours, it had zapped my energy levels for a few days. I’d been glad we’d been mostly at the range those few days. With the bug going around, no one was in trouble for having to catch a nap here and there if needed. Clint and I took turns having naps while pretending to spot for each other on the long distance range. 

The ride to the Triskelion was quiet. I spent most of it sending texts to Gareth and my Mom. Their near identical responses of ‘Be careful’ made me smile. It was going to be a long flight over there so Clint and I would take turns flying. We’d done what felt like a few thousand mission briefs over the last few days. From our perspective, the plan was relatively straightforward. We’d drop off Bravo team at the landing zone and land in a secluded spot about 2 miles away, along with the other Quinjet with Alpha team. From there, we’d hike in on foot and set ourselves up on the perimeter of town and provide cover. Once we were in position, we’d hit hard and fast at the main building which looked to be housing everyone. The other teams had their own strategies which they’d been training nonstop on. 

A lot relied on the element of surprise. We were going to be outnumbered by the estimates of the mercenary army. We’d use the cover of night and the late hour to our advantage. Intelligence suggested they had little in the way of technology beyond the old anti-aircraft missiles seen on the satellite photos. 

Once we got to the Triskelion, we went straight for the armoury. We had 2 hours to get all of our weapons and gear organized. Unlike the last time, I had no complaints as Clint piled the gear on me. This was real and my first big mission back in a long time. There was no room for any mistakes. 

The armoury was packed with the other STRIKE Teams getting ready. It was noisy but not from excitement. It was people yelling at each other getting ready. I had to squeeze between the muscly bodies to get my AWSM and as much ammo as I could carry. It was only then I saw Cobb touching something he really shouldn’t be. He was picking up the CheyTac case.

“That’s for the big kids only,” I said sharply. Riley was the only person to use the CheyTac. Besides the few times I’d taken it to the range, it sat unused. 

Cobb gave me a sour look and very purposely grabbed the case. I had seen far too much of him lately. His attitude certainly hadn’t improved over the last few months. The only thing going for him was that he was actually a brilliant shot over long distances. He’d seen me shooting the CheyTac the other day at the range and no doubt wanted to prove himself with it. 

“Cobb!” Evans sharp voice carried across the room. “Don’t make me regret my decision to bring you along. Put it back.”

Cobb muttered something under his breath but did as he was told. It didn’t stop him shooting me a nasty look as he reached for the standard M24. I opened my mouth to make a snappy retort at him. It wasn’t hard to work out whatever he said under his breath was a nasty remark about me. Knowing Cobb, it was probably something about me being a slut. It was his favorite insult, not that he’d ever say it to my face, he wasn’t that brave.

“Kari, don’t be an antagonistic bitch,” Evans commanded before I could speak, his ire turning to me. “I won’t hesitate to kick you out either.”

My smugness about Cobb getting into trouble evaporated as quickly as it came up. I meekly nodded and grabbed my AWSM. I disappeared from Evans ire stare as fast as possible. He was really not happy with me coming along. Even if I was only sitting up somewhere a mile away.

“If it was me I would have grabbed the CheyTac just to piss Cobb off,” Clint said to me quietly as I came back up to him. I glanced over back towards where it was. I was torn between using it and the AWSM. They both had similar ranges but the CheyTac had 15 pounds on the AWSM. It was an extra weight I didn’t need to be carrying around.

“Go on.” Clint saw my hesitation and gave me a sly smile. “I’ll carry it if you want.”

It was all the encouragement I needed. Without looking in Cobb, or Evans direction, I lifted the CheyTac case off the rack and walked back to Clint. There were plenty of sniggers of amusement following me. No one would have missed the exchange, even with how busy it was in here. It was petty on my behalf. There was something about Cobb that made me be on my worst behavior. I’d take working with Rollins over Cobb any day. Still, it was something to lift the mood before shit got really serious. I wasn’t nervous yet. My part until we hit the ground was relatively simple. I’m sure the nerves would be kicking in once we got closer. Everyone else looked focused and ready to go. 

We checked, re-checked and then tripled check all of our gear before lugging it all to the Quinjet. Alpha and Bravo team would do another brief together while we did pre-flight. Like everything else today, the pre-flight got checked three times by both of us. Nothing could be left to chance for this mission. 

“How are you feeling?” Clint asked me as I settled into the pilot seat. I’d fly for the first few hours then switch out with him for a nap. Due to the tight landing to drop the team off, I’d take over before we got to our location.

“Right now? Great.” I flicked a few button on the control panel. “I’m sure that will all change when we get closer.”

“I doubt we’ll get much action on this one,” Clint said, screwing up his face in mild disgust. “Coulson made sure of that.”

“Sorry.” I shot Clint a sympathetic look. He was essentially stuck babysitting me instead of getting in on the action. “I don’t know why Rumlow thinks I’m the greatest thing out there right now.”

Natasha, Clint and I had all discussed that very topic at lengths at the moment. Rumlow was backing me, a lot, right now. It felt like there was something else going on beside him trusting my abilities. Coulson had a glowing report passed down from Malick about my performance in Paris. The World Security Council leader had been very impressed with me for some reason. I’d just been doing my job. It wasn’t anything different from Clint or Natasha being there. They would have done the exact same as I did, probably a lot more efficient than me. 

“Hey, its better than being on everyone's shit list,” Clint said with a shrug. “I’m happy to be doing something rather than sit at home too. I didn’t think Coulson was going to let any of us come along.”

That didn’t surprise me. This time of year was going to be hard on all of us. Once again, I found myself grateful for Rumlow’s newfound trust in me. There’s no way Coulson could say yes to me and no to Natasha and Clint. It was only the bad timing with Natasha getting sick that she wasn’t here with us right now. 

Bravo team started to come onto the Quinjet before I could reply to Clint. The back soon grew noisy with chatter and the sounds of people stowing their gear away. Like us, everyone was triple checking for any minor thing that could be out of place. Even something as silly as a broken buckle could really fuck someone’s day up. There was no turning around once we were in the air. We were on time, right down to the second as I powered up and moved out onto the runway. My clearance to take off with instant from air traffic control. The other pilots in the Quinjet with Alpha team were right behind me. 

It was a beautiful Spring morning as we took off. There wasn’t a wisp of cloud hanging around. The bitter cold February had grown into a warm Spring, seemingly overnight. The year was already starting to fly by. 

The back of the Quinjet grew quiet very quickly. Most of the guys would be trying to get as much sleep as possible before we got there. The ones who weren’t napping were reading or listening to music. Once we were level, Evans came up to the cockpit. 

“Do either of you need anything?” Evans asked. He was in mission mode right now, gruff and straight to the point. 

“No, I’m good.” I looked over to Clint who was shaking his head. “Everything has been tripled checked and I could recite the mission plan off by heart now. In every language, I know.”

“Funny.” Evans rolled his eyes at me. “Speaking of other languages, what does Merde mean?”

“Shit in French,” Clint supplied, a slightly guilty look on his face. “That one was my bad. Sorry, Evans.”

Clint hadn’t been back to see his kids since Valentines Day. The visit had gone well for the weekend by himself. Things between him and Laura were still no closer to being anything but mostly civil to each other. With everything happening at work he hadn’t made any plans, knowing he could be gone for weeks at a moments notice. He’d been coming with me to see Alexi and William at every chance he got to help keep himself busy. Clint was good at covering every time he swore making sure it was in another language. Unfortunately, Alexi was a little parrot and would repeat whatever was said, whether she knew what it was or not. 

“At least she can get away with that one at playgroup.” Evans sounded as tired as he looked. William was teething at the moment meaning their normally happy and routine loving baby was a crying nightmare right now. With the long hours at work, I doubted Evans was getting more than 3 or 4 hours of sleep every night. “I’m going to try and get a few hours in. Can you wake me when we hit African airspace?”

“Yeah, of course.” I gave Evans a small smile. “Sleep well.”

I didn’t take offense to the responding grunt. The pressure Evans would be under as a STRIKE leader was enormous. A mission like this took so much more planning than I’d ever be privy to. I knew Coulson practically lived in his office or the mission briefing rooms the last few weeks. I’m sure Evans was the same but he made the effort to go home every night.

I expected Clint to doze off but he stayed awake, playing a game on his phone. He’d recently discovered Angry Birds and it was driving me crazy that he was so good at it. I was only a few levels behind him but he was fast pulling away from me. Especially now he had a few hours to kill with no interruptions.

“What do you think of the rumors of Aldon being Enhanced?” Clint asked, startling me out of my thoughts. I’d been daydreaming while he was playing on his phone. 

“Anything is possible.” It was an uneasy thought. Someone who could manipulate people into their bidding was a very powerful person. The only blessing was he couldn’t do it through speak alone, he had to touch someone. According to Tatiana’s report on him. She had been surprisingly helpful in SHIELD custody. “I mean, it’s not unheard of. It’s an unusual power though. Especially to slip through the cracks.”

I’d rung Grams and spoke to her to see if she’d heard of Aldon before. She hadn’t and after some digging around in her private contacts, no one else had either. The man seemed to be a ghost. There as no record of him anywhere until he popped up on SHIELD’s radar when he started on his rampage of killing anyone who stood in his way through Africa and amassing an army behind him. 

“There are so many variables here.” Clint blew out a long breath. “I know Coulson wouldn’t send us in unprepared but this felt like it was thrown together. Ops like this usually take at least a month to put together before they even think about sending us out.”

“You think someone from up higher was pushing for this?” I looked over to Clint. He looked uneasy and Clint never looked uneasy going on a mission. His lack of confidence made me nervous.

“I think someone was pushing very hard for this,” the grumble was clear in Clint’s voice. “This would have been much simpler by sending in you and Jared to kill him in his sleep. Or a sniper team. This is too loud.”

Jared had voiced the exact same concern and suggestions during the first mission brief too. He’d been quickly shot down by Hill with a stern look and told to keep his opinions to himself. The fact Hill had been in most of the mission briefs really made it look like someone from higher up was pushing for this. It seemed to be a common theme these days. 

“Do you think he has the entire army under his control?” I didn’t have an answer to what Clint had just said. To me, a quiet kill would have been a perfect idea as well. I didn’t like the thought of killing people who might simply be under someone else control.

“I hope not.” Clint visibly shuddered. “It’s not possible though, is it? Especially if he has to touch people to make it happen.”

“You wouldn’t think so, but then again, an alien that people used to worship as a Norse god dropped out of the sky a few months ago.” I tried to lighten the mood. I’d drive myself mad if I kept thinking of all these variables. At least the quip worked, Clint smiled which eased some of my tension as well. 

“And we shot at a giant alien robot,” Clint added. “Don’t forget that part.”

“How could I?” I said with a snort. “I see it in my dreams often enough. As if they weren’t weird enough to begin with.”

I’d been so tired lately the dreams I thought would plague me from Tatiana’s interrogation were nonexistent. As were most of my regular nightmares. It was a small blessing and I was happy for the trade-off. 

“Me too.” Clint gave me a sympathetic look. He glanced at the back of the Quinjet again, lowering his voice as he spoke again. “Once this is over, are you coming down to see the kids again?”

“Of course.” I’d been planning on doing it regardless if Clint asked or not. I missed the kids and Laura a lot. “I think we’ll need the peace and quiet. Why?”

“In the second drawer beside the bed is a letter for them if I don’t come home.” Clint’s expression turned serious. “It’s a new one I wrote last night when I couldn’t sleep. I sent Coulson a text to let him know but I want you to know as well, just in case.”

“Of course.” There was no point pandering that I wouldn’t have to give it to them, that everything was going to be fine. This was a dangerous mission and though the chances were slim, there was the possibility some of us wouldn’t come home. “Mine are in the third drawer on the table with my lamp. Jared already knows where they are, but just in case.”

I wrote the letters over the last week after hearing Rumlow make the suggestion to his team that everyone had their personal effects all up to date before this mission. I’d updated my will again and when I’d included Alexi’s trust fund in it, I began to write a letter to her as if I wasn’t coming back. There were a few tear stains on the page by the time I was done. It had turned into a letter to everyone I held dear in my life. It was hard but I didn’t want there to be anything left unsaid if I never came home. 

“Just in case.” Clint nodded at me. He reached over and laced his fingers through mine, giving my hand a squeeze. “I’m going to try and get some sleep. Are you good?”

“I’m good.” I squeezed his hand back. No other words needed to be said after what we’d just discussed. “I’ll wake you up for the changeover.”

The hours ticked by slowly as Clint fell asleep, leaving me to my thoughts. I’d brought a book with me but I found it too hard to concentrate on the words on the page. My mind kept drifting back to the mission and going through everything I needed to know. Like I’d told Evans, I knew it all off by heart. My mind wouldn’t let me concentrate on anything else. Once it was time to wake Clint up and hand over the controls, I was too wired with nervous energy to sleep. 

Clint didn’t protest or try and talk me into trying to sleep. If anything, he seemed glad for the company and distraction while he flew. We talked about everything and nothing for the next few hours. I woke Evans once we hit African airspace like he’d asked. As we traveled over Africa, Evans did the last of his communication between SHIELD and the other Quinjet. The guys in the back started to stir and do get themselves ready for what was about to come. The last food of any kind until we were on the way home got passed around. As we changed over again, Clint made sure we both got an MRE as well as some chocolate. Nerves were starting to kick in now making the beef stew MRE sit uncomfortably in my stomach. 

As we entered Syrian airspace, I cloaked the Quinjet. The other one carrying Alpha team pulled up level next to us. The back was quiet except for the sounds of everyone getting ready. It really was the quiet before the storm. The last hour of the flight seemed to pass by within seconds. We were in the middle of nowhere. The tiny town backing onto the mountain range didn’t even have a name. It was all old mud brick buildings, no running water or electricity. 

It was a tight fit getting both the Quinjet down to the landing zone at the same time. I didn’t know the other pilots but whoever they were, they were exceptional. In perfect synchronization we both hovered 20 feet above the landing zone. The ramp opened with a rush of cold air hitting all of us.

“Bravo team, move out.” Evans' voice carried clearly over the noise of the Quinjet and the wind rushing in. 

It was on. I watched the camera in the back as everyone moved into position. Like training, it was all precise timing as the ropes were put out to rappel down. The first four guys were down on the ground in half a minute. Everyone continued in a quick fashion and the last four guys were nearly on the ground when my control panel suddenly lit up. 

Someone had a missile lock on us.

“Incoming!” Clint and I yelled at the same time.

The next moment happened in slow motion. Training made me aggressively roll the Quinjet to the side and go vertical. It made us a smaller target and we could survive on one engine if one of the wings got hit. My stomach churned at the sudden change of direction and my body got forced back into the seat as the speed I’d pulled up at. The Quinjet’s responsiveness was the only thing that stopped us exploding into a million pieces. An explosion flared in the corner of my vision as the wing got clipped by whatever was being fired at us. The Quinjet lurched underneath us as the right engine was gone.

I jammed my foot hard on the pedals and pulled the stick as hard as I could to counterbalance the Quinjet. It fought me every step of the way, lurching dangerously and threatening to spin out of control.

“Mayday, mayday, mayday,” Clint’s voice sounded far away as I struggled with the controls to gain any semblance of getting us level again. “This is 629 Bravo….”

Another explosion next to us distracted me and cut off Clint’s distress call. The other Quinjet that had carried Alpha team exploded in a bright ball of flames. 

“Fuck me,” Clint swore next to me. I couldn’t turn to look at him but the worry was clear in his tone. “Kari?”

“I’ve got it,” I said through gritted teeth. We were gaining altitude, despite the tilting angle we were flying at. I shoved everything except keeping us in the air from my mind. I could mourn the other pilots later. 

The incoming missile alert sounded again. Instead of fighting the Quinjet for control, I simply let go, letting it roll sharply and released flares. It took every ounce of my self-control to let the Quinjet roll basically out of control. The missile exploded behind us, the flares doing the job. For now. If there was another missile we were going to be fucked.

Despite the dizzying roll, the Quinjet was still sluggishly gaining altitude. It was our only saving grace as I struggled to get us back under control. I could hear the metal groaning in protest as I flew the Quinjet in a way it really shouldn’t be flown. The control stick was shaking violently under my clenched hands. Sweat dripped off me, feeling like every pore of mine was leaking. I couldn’t focus on anything except keeping us level and getting the fuck out of there as quickly as possible. We weren’t any good to the teams on the ground if we got blown up too. 

“Come on, come on,” I said breathlessly, forcing the Quinjet to climb faster. The control panel was lit up like a Christmas tree. I had alarms going off in every direction and the flight computer screen scrolling with the problems far to fast for the eye to read. Beside me, Clint was finishing off the mayday call. 

The Quinjet started to falter underneath my control. There was a groaning sound as something sounded like it was being ripped off from the forces I was putting it through. We lurched dangerously back to the right despite my best efforts to try and stay level.

“Mayday, only Barton and Lyngley on board,” Clint’s voice cut back through my concentration. “Angels point five, grid…”

There was another explosion from outside. Whatever Clint was about to finish died suddenly as everything in the Quinjet suddenly shut down. In the blink of an eye, we lost all electronics. The stick under my hand was dead and all the tension from the pedals was gone. We hung in the air for a long second. Long enough for Clint and I to both exchange terrified glances. 

We were going down.

The Quinjet tilted and with another groan of metal, started to gain momentum. I felt my stomach and heart climb into my throat as the Quinjet plummeted from the sky. 

“Hang on.” It was a useless thing for me to say. There was nothing else Clint could do right now except hang on and pray. 

I’d never trained in what to do in this situation. Fighter jets had ejection seats, something the Quinjet, unfortunately, didn’t have. I knew us hitting the ground nose first was going to be a death sentence. Our best bet would be to go down on our side like we were heading now. The cockpit was heavily armored and it might be the only thing that could save us. I held onto the control stick, hoping the hydraulic override system didn’t go bang as well. The stick shuddered under my hand but the Quinjet stayed on its side instead of spinning out of control. My entire arm was shaking from the effort to keep us in this position.

“Kari.” Clint’s hand suddenly gripped my arm. “I trust you.”

Clint’s hard grip and words kept my arm steady enough to keep the Quinjet tilted to the side. The Quinjet gained speed, cutting through the air as we plummeted to the ground. I didn’t dare look at the altimeter. 500 feet was going to be a very quick journey to the Earth at the speed we were starting to pick up. 

I’d never been so scared in my life as the wind whistled around us. The ramp was still open making the contents of the Quinjet flap noisily in the wind. I wanted to close my eyes so I didn’t have to see the ground rushing up towards us. We were going to land on my side, so at least Clint might have a chance at surviving this crash. But I kept them open and used every bit of concentration I could muster to keep us from smashing nose first into the ground. Time slowed down as the enviable rushed up towards us. Clint’s grip on my arm didn’t let up and it was the only comforting thing as we plummeted to the ground. At the last second, something in my head screamed at me to pull the nose up. I didn’t fight whatever voice it was screaming at me and yanked as hard as I could on the control stick. The Quinjet responded right before we hit the ground. The open ramp hit the ground first bringing us to a sudden and abrupt stop.

The momentum of the sudden stop jerked me forward. My head came into contact with something and everything went black a second later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well....that all just went to shit, didn't it?


	74. Chapter 74

Everything was a mess. I could feel everything and nothing all at the same time. Something was freezing and burning my skin. Colours swirled around my vision keeping the blackness away. The black kept trying to consume the swirling colours but there was something keeping it at bay. Someone was saying my name, over and over again. The voice was wrong though. It was a voice from a long time ago. A voice I’d only heard on voicemail over and over again from the last year. A habit I hadn’t told anyone about.

I wanted to respond to it. To reach out and try and find the source of where it was coming from. Nothing in my body wanted to cooperate. I couldn’t move but felt myself twitching uncontrollably. It was an odd contradiction. My chest hurt the most. It felt like something was sitting on me, slowly squeezing the breath out of me. No matter what I did, I couldn’t suck in enough air. 

“WAKE UP!”

I jerked back into the land of consciousness with a gasp. A second later, I was coughing uncontrollably. The cockpit was fast filling with smoke. The smell of aviation gas made me gag and my body constricted as it fought to throw up and fight for air at the same time. It took me a second to get orientated as I fought back both feelings. Water was dripping down onto my face from the layers of ice around the cockpit. I blinked a few times before my mind caught up that I was awake and took in the scene around me.

We’d somehow become level, even though I was certain we crashed on the side. Ice surrounded the entire cockpit inches thick. It was cracked in places. I could see spiderwebs spread throughout it. Clint was beside me, I could barely make him out amongst the smoke and the black of the cockpit.

We were alive.

I had no idea how it happened. But I was very glad to be not dead. Everything right down to the roots of my hair hurt. As much as everything ached, I couldn’t feel any major damage. With shaking fingers, I unbuckled my harness and unceremoniously fell out of the chair when my limbs decided not to work. I landed on the control panel awkwardly, feeling buttons and levers dig into my aching body. The smoke seemed to be filling the cockpit faster now. The need for oxygen made my body react before my mind could. I rolled forward, putting my hand up on the spiderwebbed ice closest to me. My power surged out of my hand before I could think of it and seconds later the ice shattered into a million shards of ice crystals. The ones on the ceiling rained down on my body making me shiver. 

Cold air rushed in as I flopped back on the control panel. I greedily sucked in the fresh air filling the cockpit. I don’t know how long I lay there. It could have been seconds or hours as I got the much needed oxygen back into my body. My head hurt and I felt groggy as hell. I reached up to touch a tender spot on my forehead, only to feel something warm and sticky. Fucking great, I was bleeding. Greg always said that head wounds bleed a lot.

I blinked as that thought hit my head. Fuck me, why was I thinking about Greg right now? Come to think of it, I swear I’d been hearing the voice of a ghost before. One that yelled at me to wake up. That was impossible though. It had to be a result of hitting my head far too hard.

Groaning, I rolled over again and forced my body into a sitting position. I put my head in my hands, squeezing my eyes shut. My head was so jumbled but I knew one thing. I couldn’t stay here. We were sitting ducks in a big shiny target right now. The cloaking would have shit itself as soon as we crashed. If the enemy had heat-seeking missiles, I didn’t doubt they’d be able to track us easily. So much for the intel being that they barely had any tech. For the Quinjet to completely lose power like we had, I didn’t doubt the last explosion had been an EPM. Our attack had been anticipated and we’d been out maneuvered easily. 

“Clint.” My voice came out hoarse and scratchy. I stopped myself before I could do it again. If we had been hit with an EPM trying to talk to Clint would be useless. His hearing aids would be shot. Now the smoke was gone I could see him a little better. He was sitting at an awkward angle in the chair, blood coating the right side of his face. He looked lifeless and if it wasn’t for the steady rise and fall of his chest, I’d fear the worst. 

I forced myself to my feet. I had to move and get us out of here quickly. I shook Clint’s arm as hard as I could. He didn’t make a sound or move a muscle. I grimaced, reaching up and rubbed my knuckle up and down his sternum. It hurt like hell and would rouse most people out of unconsciousness. His body flinched under the pressure, but he still didn’t wake. This was not good. I had to make a snap decision, one that could very well be the wrong one. I forced my feet to move before I could start second guessing that decision.

It was dark in the Quinjet, but my luck was holding up tonight. The door separating the cockpit and the back had wedged itself closed. It only took a small shove for me to get it open. The hinges groaned in protest as the door swung open into the back. One of the emergency lights was still working in the back. It wasn’t much but it was enough to find what I needed. Our gear was stowed in the first compartment behind the pilot seat in the cockpit. My hands shook violently as I struggled to get it open at the odd angle it was in. The back of the Quinjet was a mess from what I could see. The ramp was obliterated, pieces of it were scattered throughout the back end. Supplies were strewn everywhere. My boots made crunching noises from whatever I want standing on every time I shifted my feet. The compartment finally opened with an ominous creak. I reached into it, pulling out what I needed. There were two things I wouldn’t leave behind. Clint’s bow and Riley’s CheyTac. 

My mind kept telling me to be sensible and grab the AWSM as I put on the belt with Clint’s P30’s, both our knives and the ammo for the CheyTac. I don’t know why, it could have been the minor concussion I was sure I was sporting, but something told me I really needed the CheyTac. I’d finished arming myself and went back into the cockpit. Clint’s bow was strung around my chest like Clint always wore when he wasn’t using it. I managed to fit the CheyTac alongside the quiver. It was awkward and heavy, but there was still more weight to come. I adjusted the weight as well as I could and took in a deep breathing looking at my friend in front of me. Clint was still slumped in his chair. At least his breathing was steady. I had no way to check for any other injuries and right now I had to hope I wasn’t doing more harm than good.

We were in the middle of nowhere. The nearest civilization was at least 100 miles away over a desert. There was no way I could get Clint and I both to safety. We wouldn’t have landed more than a few miles from the town. Going in either direction could be a death sentence. I had no idea if the other teams were alive or what state they’d be in. The enemy had to have some form of communications device though. It would be impossible for them not to. It was our only chance of getting out of here alive.

“Okay Kari,” I said to myself, bracing my mind and body for what was to come. “You’ve been doing weights. This won’t be a problem.”

I was going to have to carry Clint. I couldn’t leave him here in the wreckage. Someone would come looking through it sooner rather than later. Our luck wouldn’t hold out for much longer, I had to move and do it now. I knelt down and undid Clint from his harness. He crumpled forward immediately without the harness holding him in. I used the momentum and sent a mental thank you to the hard arsed Sergeant who made us do fireman carry drills when I was in flight school. I never thought I’d have to use it. 

My entire body shook with exertion as I hoisted Clint up over my shoulder. My knees threatened to buckle under the weight and my back protested immediately at Clint’s weight. His body draped over me awkwardly but there was nothing I could do to shift him into a more comfortable position. 

“First step, come on,” I coached myself through gritted teeth as I straightened up. 

My legs felt like they were weighed down with lead. The first step was agony. My breath came out in ragged gasps at the extra 200 pounds on my body. No matter how much it hurt, I forced my feet up and forward in another step. Then another.

I made it to the back of the cockpit before my legs gave way from underneath me. Clint’s unconscious form and I both crashed to the ground. I felt like I’d just run into a brick wall. Stars floated around in my vision as I pushed us both up against a broken chair, panting like I’d run a marathon instead of taking 20 steps. Every ache from made itself know, feeling a hundred times worse than before. My throat burnt and I could feel tears gather in the corner of my eyes. I couldn’t do this. How was I going to get us to safety if I couldn’t even get 10 steps out of the Quinjet? I was suddenly very alone and deathly afraid of what was going to happen. I was our only hope and I couldn’t do it. Clint and I were going to die in the back of this Quinjet. The crash hadn’t killed us. I had.

My head ached as the tears that were threatening spilled over and ran down my face. I squeezed my eyes shut and buried my head in my hands. Images and memories started to run through my head, whether I wanted them to or not.

I thought of Jared. He’d be out of his mind with worry right now. He and Natasha were probably already trying to get here. Whether the other STRIKE Teams would be allowed to come after us or not was going to be at the discretion of higher powers. This mission could very easily be written off as a total loss. SHIELD didn’t have the same mentality about leaving people behind like the military. We were expendable. They’d simply go onto Plan B if they thought there was no chance of survivors.

Natasha would be pacing like a caged tiger and driving Coulson mad. She’d be working every contact, on and off book, to try and get close to us. Coulson would be silently encouraging her, as well and trying to keep her and Jared from disappearing. 

Mom and Dad would know by now that the mission went sideways. Mom would be a mess and Dad would be doing everything he could to comfort her. Despite being 25 in a few weeks, I’d never stop being her baby girl. She nearly lost Jared last year and this would be a nightmare coming back to life for both of them.

Alexi would be pestering Abby when Evans and I would be home. I could see Alexi’s face right now. Her big blue eyes would be pleading to know when we’d be back. She’d be shaking her head of her unruly dark curls when Abby would tell her soon and Alexi would demand to know the exact time. 

I wondered if Coulson would let Laura know. Despite all the shit going on between her and Clint, she deserved to know that everything went sideways. She needed to prepare herself to tell Lila and Cooper the worst news possible. I could see Lila and Cooper, both getting older now and not placated by any bullshit excuses anymore. The move had been hard on them and not getting any easier as time went by. I couldn’t imagine them having to be in a world without their Dad. 

I looked over at Clint through my teary vision. I remember Natasha telling me a lifetime ago that out of all of us, Clint had to most to lose. That I should always pick him over anything else. No matter what.

‘You are strong. You are brave and you are the most incredible woman I know. You can do anything you put your mind to. I believe in you.’

Riley’s voice echoed in my mind. He’d tell me that every single time I had doubts about when I couldn’t do something. It was his little mantra to me when I felt like I’d never catch up with Natasha and Clint. The memory of him was still so clear, even after all this time. The words were usually said in the darkness of our room as we lay cuddled up in bed. Those words always helped. They gave me hope and made me pick myself up again and try again.

A breeze drifted into the back of the Quinjet. The warm air kissed the bare skin on my arms gently. Almost like it was someone rubbing my arm reassuringly. I lifted my face from my hands and looked into the darkness. 

“If you really are watching over us Riley, I could do with a kick up the ass right about now,” I whispered into the quiet night. 

The warm breeze reached my face, drying the tear tracks on my face. I closed my eyes, thinking back to how Riley would cup my face and brush my tears away with his thumbs. It gave me a small measure of peace at the memory. If Jared was right and Riley really did send him back, at least I’d be seeing Riley again soon.

All of a sudden, it felt like a jolt of electricity went through my body. Every ache and pain was gone as my body went on high alert. Half a second later, I heard the sound of a vehicle coming towards us. All previous thoughts were gone as my training kicked in. I had a P30 out and pointed at the back of the Quinjet. I shifted carefully until I could grab a hold of Clint’s hand. I made us both invisible and sat waiting. 

It didn’t take long for the car to reach us. The old Jeep’s headlights were blinding as they shone into the back of the Quinjet. Voices in French reached my ears the two of the doors opened and slammed shut on the car.

“This is a waste of time,” the man coming from the driver’s side grumbled in strangely accented French. “The pilots are dead. No one could have survived that.”

“One of the prisoners thinks otherwise.” The other guy replied, sounding bored as they made their way to the Quinjet. “Besides, it gives us something to do. The SHIELD teams that escaped are pinned down against the mountain. All the boss is doing now is fucking with them and waiting for SHIELD to negotiate to get their prisoners back. Or drop the rest of them out of the sky with another EPM when they try and mount a rescue. Either way, SHIELD will be off our backs.”

Whoever these two were obviously weren’t shy about letting anyone know what was happening. It was a blessing, now I knew some of our guys were alive. That new piece of information gave me a surge of energy and hope. I wasn’t alone out here after all. 

The two men walked into the Quinjet, rifles dangling by their side. They were so casual in the way they walked, kicking debris out of the way as they went. I waited until they were past me before I sprung into action.

I unholstered the P30 and jumped to my feet in one swift action. I didn’t hesitate as I closed the gap between the one closest to me. As soon as I was close enough, I raised the gun and squeezed the trigger. The sound of it going off was near deafening in the confined space. The guy didn’t have a chance to turn around and see the bullet coming from him. It landed at the base of his skull with a sickening crack. I didn’t have time to wince at my eardrums hurt. I was already on the other guy. I had the gun to the back of his head before he had time to turn around fully.

“Don’t move,” I commanded in French. To his credit, the guy stilled instantly and put his hands up. I reached forward and unclipped the AR15 from his shoulder harness, throwing it out of reach. “How far are we from the village?”

“Two miles,” He ground out through his funny accented French. “You are supposed to be dead.”

“I’m not that easy to kill. One wrong move and you will be though.” I pressed the P30 into the back of his head harder. “How many SHIELD agents did you take prisoner?”

Sweat was pouring off this guy. He stank of weeks of not washing. The body odor up close was enough to make me want to gag. 

“11.”

Shit. That was worse than I expected. The Alpha Team had 20 guys and Bravo team only had 17 all up. They’d lost over a quarter of their forces.

“Good.” I released the pressure of the P30 ever so slightly. “Where are the rest of them?”

“In the biggest building against the mountain with the civilians,” the guy said through his gritted teeth. “We have the entire town blockaded. There is no getting in or out without the proper codes. The Jeep won’t do you much good either. It only has enough gas for about 10 miles.”

There goes one of my plans. It seemed that Aldon either didn’t trust his own men or they were running low on supplies as well. The second scenario would make sense if they’d taken prisoners. Aldon probably thought he could trade the prisoners for supplies with SHIELD. Unfortunately, SHIELD wouldn’t negotiate. 

“You’re being very cooperative.” My mind shifted to why this man was helping me. This could be nothing but a decoy until something else happened. “Why?”

“Because.” Something changed in the man’s tone. “Aldon wanted me to give you hope if you were still alive that you could do something about this situation. Apparently, STRIKE Team Delta are the ones to capture and use for his own fun. I was meant to check in 30 seconds ago to let them know if you were dead or not.”

He moved quickly, twisted away from the gun pointed at his head. He turned to face me with his own sidearm drawn. Good training kept mine level and steady, despite him twisting away from me. I didn’t hesitate. I pulled the trigger as he moved. The bullet went through his eye and he dropped to the ground with a sickening thunk. 

“Fuck.” Adrenaline spurred me on. I was about to have an army raining down on me, or worse. The old Jeep was out of the question now. I was going to have to put my big girl pants on and run for our lives.

I bent down where Clint was still slumped against the wall. I threw his limp body over my shoulder and heaved with every bit of strength I had. He felt impossibly heavy but somehow I managed to get myself upright again. The first few steps were the hardest. Every single one of them felt like I was going to go tumbling to the ground. 

“You’ve got this.” I coached myself, squeezing my eyes shut for a second. I’d made it to the back of the Quinjet. Stepping out into the open air felt like I was about step off the edge of a cliff. I took in a deep breath and concentrated. Right now I was glad for Clint constantly riding my ass about practicing with my powers all the time. The practice would be the only thing that would save our lives. Like a well-used muscle, the invisibility slid over me. It wasn’t a moment too soon. Voices carried through the quiet night air. This time I couldn’t understand the language.

I didn’t wait for them to appear. My legs were moving and this time they managed to hold the weight of Clint over my shoulder. I wouldn’t be able to go forever, but I moved as quickly as I could while I still had the strength.

It was so dark out here. The small village was completely shrouded in darkness. I could only make out the buildings if I gazed at them long and hard. There was no moon tonight. It was done on purpose to make a surprise attack easier. Right now, it wasn’t making my life any easier. The terrain was rocky and I nearly went to my knees a few times as slowly made my way through the darkness. 

My breath came out in wheezing pants as I struggled along. My ribs started to throb with every step I took. My back ached with the weight of Clint and the awkward angle I was having to hold him on. But I kept shuffling along in a funny gait crossed between a walk and run. The closer I got, the more I could see and hear the situation in front of us.

A small city of tents had been set up on the road into the village. Some of the mud houses looked to be occupied by whatever forces Aldon had. One of the larger buildings on the outskirts was a hive of activity. Even from my position I could hear and see men coming in and out of there. It looked to be the only building with any form of light too. The windows were shaded, but tiny cracks of artificial light peeked out from one of the windows. In this darkness, it stood out clearly. Every so often there’d be a short burst of gunfire. It was coming where the mercenary had said my teams were pinned down. Along with the gunfire, there was often the sharp crack of a high caliber rifle being fired. The outer perimeter of the village was being held down by groups of 3 at every opening. Some of them looked well trained and ready for anything. Other groups looked like men who were bored and not paying attention.

I managed to slide past one of the groups not paying attention. They were lounging against one of the small mud-brick houses, chatting away rapidly in an Arabic sounding language. My back and legs were ready to give up on me as I found a deserted house with the door half hanging off it. It was a tight fit to get Clint and I in there without disturbing the door. It was perfect timing. As I got through the opening, a group of men went jogging past the house. I couldn’t understand what they were saying, but they were headed in the direction of where I thought the STRIKE teams would be. 

The house was 2 rooms, separated by a ragged piece of fabric hanging down. My body couldn’t handle the weight any longer. I shuffled into the other room. It was pitch black in here. There was only a tiny window near the ceiling which did nothing to let any kind of light in. I cautiously moved around until my legs came into contact with something solid. I bent down to grope the surface of whatever it was I’d run into. If was soft and felt like a bed. Gingerly, I shifted Clint and lowered him down onto the bed. My back muscles screamed in protest at the movement but the rest of my body was thankful to be free of his weight. As I set him down, I bent over the bed panting like I’d run a marathon. It felt like there wasn’t a part of my body that didn’t ache. I could feel bruises from where Clint’s quiver and the CheyTac had both dug into me. My head throbbed, my ribs ached and my poor back was never going to be the same again. My tired legs gave way and I slid down to the floor next to the bed. My invisibility was gone without any effort from me. I was so damn tired.

In the darkness, I groped around until I found Clint’s hand. Even though he didn’t grip back, lacing my fingers through his gave me a small comfort. It was so dark in here. I could barely see two feet in front of me. Outside the noises of people moving around were muffled. Every so often bursts of automatic gunfire would cut through the air. 

I couldn’t stay here forever. I already knew that. If I had a better understanding of the enemy’s layout, I’d take Clint’s bow and cause some chaos. But with them holding prisoners, I could be unintentionally hurting our own guys. My best course of action was to head for the building where the rest of the teams would be.

As I sat there slumped against the wall trying to muster the strength to get up again, a noise cut through the quiet building. It was loud enough to make me jump. It took my tired brain a second to process what it was. 

“No.”

The word coming from Clint was quiet and muffled. His fingers closed around mine suddenly in a crushing grip. I winced as I felt the joints of my fingers make cracking noises under the pressure. 

“Clint.” I reached over and gripped his arm hard, giving him a good shake. No response.The pressure on my hand continued until it was unbearably uncomfortable. Any harder and Clint was going to break all of my fingers.

“Hey.” I tried again, digging my fingers into his arm hard. “Come on, wake up.”

“Barney, no.”

The breath stopped in my chest at Clint’s next muffled words. I knew the basics about his brother, Barney. Clint had caught him stealing from the circus where they were raised. Barney had stabbed Clint in retaliation and it’d had nearly killed him. Physically and mentally. Clint never spoke about Barney and as far as I knew, he considered his brother to be dead to him. Whatever nightmare Clint was going through now couldn’t be pretty.

“Barney’s not here,” I said, feeling completely useless. “It’s Kari. Come on Clint, please wake up.”

“Barney, stop. Please.”

The next plea that left his lips was louder than before. The words ripped my heart from my chest as Clint pleaded with a ghost of his past. 

“Clint.” I dug my fingers into his arm even harder than before. “Please, Barney’s gone. He’s not here. It’s Kari.”

Clint’s entire body tensed. It was my only warning as his other hand came flying at me in a fist. In the darkness, I didn’t see it until too late. The blow landed squarely on my jaw, knocking me off balance. I landed on the hard ground with a strangled cry of my own. Clint could pack a wallop and his blow made me see stars. Blood filled my mouth as I lay in a crumpled heap. The side of my face felt like someone had just smashed me with a brick. I spat out my mouthful of blood, putting my hand to my jaw. That was going to leave a big bruise.

A groan of utter distress was far too loud for our quiet hiding spot. I sprung to my feet and launched myself into Clint’s body. I covered his mouth with my hand, pressing down hard to muffle the next sound from him. As soon as my hand touched his mouth, Clint started to trash underneath me. His arms were free, flailing around and I earned another smack in the face for my troubles. This one wasn’t as hard, but it was on the same spot as before. It sent my head reeling again which was enough for Clint to get me off him.

“You can’t make me talk,” Clint’s words were slurred as he struggled on the bed. “I’ll die before I talk.”

What the fuck was this about? I threw myself back onto the bed, this time pinning Clint’s arms to the bed with my legs and I straddled his body. I grabbed his face between my hands. He struggled wildly against my meager weight trying to keep him pinned down.

“It’s Kari, come on Clint, come back to me,” I pleaded, feeling my throat start to close up as I struggled to keep him from lashing out again. Tears gathered at the corner of my eyes at feeling my best friend fighting against his worst nightmare. “Where ever you are, it isn’t real. I’m here, I’m real.”

In a moment of inattentiveness, I felt some ice crystals gather on my hands as I struggled with my own emotions. The freezing cold touch made Clint still against me. His entire body went rigid under my touch. I quickly pulled my hands away, shaking the ice crystals off them in his moment of minor cooperation. As soon as my hands were normal again, I put them back on his face, leaning down until we were resting our foreheads against each other.

“There you go,” I said shakily. “Stay with me here. I promise I’ll get us out of here.”

There was no response. I didn’t expect there to be but there was a small part of me that really wanted to. One word would have been better than the silence from him now. At least I’d found out in his struggles that most of his limbs seemed to be working. It was a small mercy that at least he wasn’t paralyzed. 

Clint was still rigid underneath me but didn’t make any further move to lash out. I relaxed against him, moving my legs until I was simply straddling him instead of pinning him down. I could feel my body shaking again him as I lent down and hugged him. 

“We’re going to stay here for a few minutes,” I said, my voice muffled against his shoulder. “Then we’ll start moving again. Sound good?”

I had no idea why I was still talking. Clint wouldn’t be able to hear me and he wasn’t showing any signs of waking up. It was a waste of breath but it was keeping me as calm as someone could be in this situation. I closed my eyes, taking in a few deep breaths to get my racing heart under control. I had to stay calm and focus. Only then would we get out of here. My heart finally slowed back to a normal pace and my tense body relaxed, one muscle at a time. Underneath me, Clint seemed to relax as well. Time seemed so irrelevant in the dark room. It could have been minutes or hours. I had no way of telling. My watch was missing and Clint’s was smashed beyond recognition. All I could go by was the steady rise and fall of Clint’s chest. 

The sound of boots outside made my eyes fly open. I hadn’t realized I’d closed them in the first place. It had been such a sudden movement that jerked me out of the quiet moment. Whispered voices carried across the quiet night. Some of it was a language I didn’t know, but the English stood out easily. 

“They can’t have gone far,” the clipped English was tinged with an unusual accent. “Spread out, search every house. The boss really wants these two.”

My mouth went dry and my heart started to pound again at the realization we were going to have to move sooner rather than later. Whoever these men who, I really hoped they didn’t have any infrared. We’d be fucked if that was the case. I unfolded my stiff limbs and carefully climbed off Clint. I sat on the edge of the bed and pulled the knife from my belt. If it came to it, I needed to make this as quiet as possible. I gripped Clint’s hand in my free hand willing my tired body to go invisible again. 

Time slowed down as the sound of booted feet came closer. I squeezed Clint’s hand harder as the footsteps got louder. A few muffled sounds and the crash of the door being kicked in echoed around the quiet room as the enemy entered our house. I held my breath as torches lit up the room behind the ragged piece of fabric. There was only one set of boots searching this house. He seemed unconcerned about being heard as he stomped around. The torches seemed to search every inch of the other room before someone yanked down the fabric separating the rooms.

It was terrifying to sit here with a light pointing straight at me. I knew they couldn’t see me but it still felt like an eternity before the light shone away from our corner. The man walked into the room, shining his torch around every corner. He walked over to the bed, scarcely an inch away from where I was sitting. Up close, his weathered, tanned face had a bored expression.

“Clear in here.” His accent was thick. The English words sounded clumsy coming out of his mouth. Whoever he was calling to wouldn’t have been too far away. Even though he sounded loud to me up close. He would have only raised his voice loud enough as if the person he was talking to was across a room from him. 

He kicked the edge of the bed, making the structure rattle underneath me. The bed felt like it was going to collapse from the abuse. Thankfully the old wood held steady and the man searching our room turned away. He made it to the door in a few strides. I was about to let out the breath I’d been holding as he walked away when a noise from the bed sounded very loud in the room. It was Clint again.

“No.”

The distinctive word cut through the silent room. The man whipped around in surprise, gun already raised with the light shining directly on me.

Adrenaline made my aching legs work as I sprung up from the bed. I lost my invisibility and the comical look of fright on the others man’s face would have been funny in any other circumstance. In his surprise, the grip on his rifle loosened and it dropped to his side. I took advantage on his moment of hesitation and closed the gap between us in 2 long strides. My knife found the underside of his jaw as I drove it straight through his windpipe. Six inches of steel cut through the skin and muscle before hitting bone at the base of his skull. 

The man’s hands flew up to claw at his neck, his eyes now wide in shock and horror as the life drained out of him in seconds. He gave one gasping choke and that was it. He went limp and fell to the ground a moment later. The momentum of him falling let me pull the knife out easily. There was no time to stand there in the growing pool of blood and look at what I’d done. I had to get moving. 

I ran back to the bed and knelt down beside it. Manoeuvring Clint to the edge of the bed took every ounce of my strength. The sound of a name being called gave me a spurt of adrenaline, enough to get Clint back over my shoulder and to my feet. My legs threatened to give out on me in the first few steps. Even in the cool air, I could feel the sweat pouring off me as I strained to get moving and maintain my invisibility again. I made it out of the front door just as a group of men came jogging down the road, still calling the name from before. 

There was no time to waste. I had to get back to what was left of the STRIKE teams. I couldn’t see the exact location through the maze of the close mud brick buildings. The black night sky had tinged of red grey start to break through the blackness. Dawn wouldn’t be too far off and I’d lose the advantage of the night to hide. I couldn’t stay invisible forever. I could feel my strength draining with every shuffling step I took. Clint’s weight felt impossibly heavy and it was sheer determination keeping us upright. The only good thing at the moment as I was too focused on keeping us moving to be scared shitless. 

Instead of heading in the direction where I thought the STRIKE teams were, I made a lengthy detour heading back towards the enemy instead of away from it, As much as my body was screaming at me with every step, I knew I had to do it. I could hear the increased activity all around me as I shuffled between houses, trying to keep off the path as much as possible. The enemy would be doing everything they could now to cut me off from getting back to our team. It was a long journey. As soon as I got within sight of the enemy’s base, I zig-zagged back towards the opposite end of town. From here I could see the house I was told about. The two-story building was set against the mountain. The grey morning light wasn’t helping to see any activity in the distance. At least I had an idea of where to go now. 

I only got a few feet down the road when I hit a rock and staggered for a few feet. The brief moment of distraction made me lose the invisibility hiding both of us. In that one terrifying moment, I heard voices shouting. I had the invisibility back over us within seconds and took off running as fast as I could. Bullets snapped through the air, pinging off the buildings around me. Every ache was forgotten as I did a sharp right turn and started to zigzag my way through the buildings. I’d been made now. This was about to turn into the ultimate game of cat and mouse. 

I really didn’t like being the mouse. I was going to have to turn the tables and become the cat. 

Voices shouted all around me. I could hear men pursuing me through the narrow twists and turns of the mud buildings. It wasn't a big village but there were plenty of small buildings grouped together with narrow laneways between them. I found the first building with the door open and ran inside. Luck was on my side again. The building had another 2 rooms off the one I’d come through. It also had a back door, giving me a very solid idea of what to do next. I went into the first one and found it to be another bedroom. I dumped Clint on the bed and unslung his bow. I had an idea on how to get rid of some men in a very big hurry. It was also going to create a big explosion and a lot of noise. I was going to have to run for our lives if this worked out the way I wanted it to.

I pulled off Clint’s quiver as well and opened one of the compartments. Clint didn’t have his trick quiver this time. It would be useless for me as I didn’t know the right combinations on it. He did keep a good collection of his different arrow tips though. His favorite explosive ones were in front of his spares compartment. I sent a mental thank you to Dad as I changed the arrowheads. They were his design and they could be done within seconds. Even with my shaking hands, I had two arrows ready to go in 30 seconds. Before I could second guess my plan, I grabbed the bow and stepped into the main room.

There was always a moment of awkwardness as I used Clint’s left-handed bows. He was an ambidextrous shooter but understandably favored his left. He always used his left-handed ones on missions even though he was just as deadly right-handed. Clint never checked the bows he brought to practice so I’d learned to shoot with a left-handed one as well over the months. I could manage it well enough that I had the confidence I wasn’t going to miss now. 

The voices and footsteps got louder as I notched the first arrow. I closed my eyes as I felt the weight on the string. The other arrow hung loosely in my left hand so I could have it ready to shoot near instantly. I’d done this a million times in practice. What I was about to do was no different from shooting at targets at the end of the archery range. I took in a few long and deep breaths to calm myself. Shaking hands and adrenaline would do me no favors right now. When my hands were steady I stepped back out into the open and drew the bow as I went.

With no finger guards on, the bowstring cut into my fingers. My shoulders and back protested at the heavy draw weight as my hand came back towards my ear. It was a minor inconvenience now that would no doubt haunt me later. In the grey dawn, I could see a group of 5 men heading towards me. They all stopped dead at the sight of me with an arrow. Without a second of hesitation, I loosed the arrow. 

The black fletched arrow sailed through the air straight and true. The men didn’t have time to scramble for cover. It wouldn’t help them anyway. It hit the leading man squaring in the chest. With a resounding beep, the explosive tip went off.

I had no idea how powerful those little suckers actually were. The resulting explosion sent up a small fireball into the dawn sky. The men around him screamed as they were engulfed in the flames. The smell of burning flesh and singed hair filled the air. If I hadn’t been so focused on the next shot, I’m sure would have been on the ground throwing up. I didn’t stand by to watch the chaos, I spun in the opposite direction and rapidly notched the next arrow. The group of men coming from that direction were trying to beat a hasty retreat. Unluckily for them, arrows flew faster than most people could run. The second arrow struck someone’s back and the same thing happened as before. I was never going to be able to smell barbecued meat ever again without seeing this moment. 

With speed and strength, I didn’t realize I still had, I was back into the room I put Clint in. The bed was higher than normal making it easier to get Clint back up and over my shoulder. The adrenaline was still pumping which was a small blessing now. I was invisible and heading out of the house in what felt like seconds. As I got a few feet from the door, another group of men came sprinting down the street and straight into the still open back door. I’d made it out with only seconds to spare.

The problem with adrenaline was that it never lasted as long as you needed it for. I only managed to cover about a hundred feet and three turns of direction before my body started to give up again. My back was in spasms from the weight of Clint. Every single breath felt like a fire was being started in my chest. I could hear the wheezing breaths echoing through my head, knowing it didn’t sound quite right. My left hand felt wet and I could barely open the fingers to assess the damage. At least I knew the damage there. Without the years of callous’ Clint had, I’d no doubt sliced my fingers on the bowstring. I only made it another five steps before my legs threatened to give way on me again. I ducked into the first available house and had no sooner made it to the door when my legs finally gave up. 

Clint and I fell to the floor in a very undignified heap. I managed to stay up on my hands and knees, struggling to get my breath back. I knew I couldn’t stay here. Despite the small size of this town, all the twists and turns I was having to take kept putting me further away from my intended target. I was getting closer. By the speed, I was traveling at and the way my body was starting to give up on me, it may as well have been a hundred miles away. I was starting to run out of options. I was going to have to make a run for it straight there. If I didn’t, Clint and I were going to be captured or dead. 

My legs protested heavily at the attempt to get to my feet. It took me three goes before my shaking limbs cooperated and I was upright again. I grabbed Clint by the arm and heaved with what little strength I had left. It took a moment before he started to budge. I felt terrible for dragging him along the ground. There was no way I could lift him right now though. This building was nothing more than a room. The small amount of furniture in here was destroyed and it looked like somebody had thoroughly ransacked the place. The only thing left standing and not destroyed was a sturdy looking table that was about knee height on me. I needed to get Clint off the ground so I could pick him up again when I made our final run. 

It took a lot of shoving to get Clint into a sitting position against the table. I stood on the table and hooked my arms under his and pulled him up onto the table. The leverage made it easy enough to get him up. Clint would probably hate me for the number of bruises I was going to leave on him. It was better bruised than dead though. 

“I’ll be back,” I whispered to his unconscious form sprawled over the table. “I promise.”

There wasn’t even a twitch from him. His chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm, as it had been for the last fuck knows how long. His lack of any signs of conciseness was really starting to gnaw at my mind. I couldn’t contemplate on it too much longer though. Even now I could hear someone getting close to us. They weren’t trying to be quiet at all. The voices in what sounded like Farsi carried through the air loudly enough. I took the CheyTac and Clint’s bow off my back. I’d need all the speed I could get right now. 

Going invisible, I went to the front of the building and slipped out of the door. Every ache and tired part of my body disappeared again as I went into the open air. It was getting hot now. The sun was over the horizon and beating down mercilessly despite the early hour. My boots barely made a sound on the dusty path. A second later a group of mercenaries came around the corner. It was a group of 4. They were all on high alert, AK-47’s raised as they picked along the path. Even at a glance, I could tell they were well trained. Unlucky for them, I was trained by Black Widow and Hawkeye. This was going to be quick and silent.

Everything came down into a narrow focus as I stalked towards them. A few feet away, I picked up a rock and threw it against a house opposite us. The effect was instant, they all spun on their heels and changed direction. I was upon the guy bringing up the rear in 3 footsteps. I drove my knife into the back of his neck, severing his spinal cord in one swift movement. He dropped with a muffled thud on the ground. The momentum of his body tipping forward was enough to pull the knife back out in one clean movement. 

The mercenary in front of him half turned at the sound of his colleague hitting the ground. It was enough for me to grab his head and drive my knife into his jugular, yanking it across his neck. He fell to the ground as soon as my grip released, clawing at the gaping wound on his neck. The sound of him choking on his own blood got the attention of the other two.

Both of them shouted out and raised their guns in my direction. I darted out of the way, coming in behind them. They cautiously took a few steps forward, talking hurriedly between the two of them. The one on the left toed at the still convulsing guy whose throat I’d just slit. He wasn’t quite dead yet. He was still clawing at his throat, desperately trying to suck oxygen into his body. It was sloppy on my behalf. I hadn’t cut deep enough to make him bleed out within seconds and now he was choking to death on his own blood as well as suffocating from lack of oxygen.

I took advantage of the mercenary on the left being momentarily distracted by the dying man. My knife found the back of his neck as well. Only this time I pushed it too hard and the blade got stuck. The momentum of him tipping forward caught me off balance and for a horrible, long second I thought I was about to lose my invisibility. The remaining mercenary spun on his heel and without hesitation opened fire.

I let the weight of the falling body pull me down. I hit the ground hard but managed to stay invisible. The shooting from the remaining mercenary stopped as quickly as it came on. He raised his hand to his ear and started speaking rapidly in Farsi. I had to act quickly otherwise I was going to have a small army swarming down on me. 

I rolled away and sprung back up onto my feet. I didn’t have time to yank my knife out and an idea sprung to my head. Before I could second guess my plan, I pounced on the mercenary. I kicked out at his knee as hard as my body would let me. The extra legwork paid off in that moment as his knee snapped out from underneath him with an audible crunch. He shouted in pain as he fell to one knee, clutching at the injured joint. His AK-47 dropped from his grip giving me a precious few seconds to end this before I become a bullet-riddled corpse. I stepped around him and pulled his neck into a sleeper hold with one hand resting against his head as I let go of my invisibility. I’d need all the concentration I got get to do this.

Clint theory of being able to use the body’s natural fluids against them had sprung into my head. I was about to find out if it was true.

My power fanned out and I could feel it take over as it shot through the mercenaries body. He stiffened against me a few seconds later. His body went cold and hard under my touch. I let go and kicked the frozen corpse away from my body. He landed on the ground with a thunk. Bile rose in my throat as I stared at the frozen body in front of me. I’d never consciously killed anyone with my cryokinesis before. It was scary how quickly that just happened. 

There was no time to stand there and stare at the 4 dead bodies. I put my foot on the last guy I’d stabbed back and tugged the knife free of the bone it got stuck in. His body twitched under my foot, pushing the bile up my throat even further. There was no stopping it. I bent over and vomited what little I had in my stomach. It was gone as quickly as it came on. I straightened up and wiped my mouth on the sleeve of my shirt. My hands were coated in blood right now and still had a few ice crystals hanging off them. I shook my hands, clearing the ice crystals and pulled my thoughts back together. I couldn’t stay here. I cleared the path for Clint and I to get to where the rest of the teams were and I had to move. Now.

Clint was still sprawled out on the table when I went back into the room. Ignoring my blood covered and shaking hands, I quickly put our weapons back on and braced myself for the next part. I rolled Clint onto his side and crouched down so I could put him over my shoulder again. He felt even heavier than last time as I straightened back up with a strangled groan.

“You’re going on a fucking diet when we get back Barton. No more crack cookies, no matter how much I beg you to make them,” I said as I shifted him in the fireman’s hold. My back was protesting, even more, this time and every step made Clint feel 100 pounds heavier than the last. It was a struggle to go invisible again and took me 3 goes before I could hang onto it. It was only with a lot of concentration I managed to hold onto it. I closed my eyes taking in long deep breaths before stepping out into the open once again. I could do this. I had to do this.

I broke out into baking hot morning, half running and half limping along. If I stopped now, I’d never get moving again. I came upon the building where I thought the STRIKE were. It was unmistakable the big house against the mountain. As I reached the door, gunfire opened up again from behind me. I could hear distinct American voices coming in there, along with plenty of other noise. Along with returning gunfire, people were calling out orders. There was what sounded like crying women in there as well. This had to be it.

I ran across the open ground as fast as my aching legs and back would carry me. As I got to the side entrance, I gave the door a shove. It was firmly stuck.

“Friendly!” I yelled out as loud as I dared too, pounding on the thick wood. “Evans, Rumlow or someone open the fucking door!”

Even though I was invisible, the sound of my voice drew the gunfire to me. I had no choice but to drop Clint, rather unceremoniously, on the ground. I threw my hands up in front of me and let the ice fan out again. I was visible again but my wall of ice came up in time to hear the first bullet ping off it harmlessly. Bullets seemed to cascade down on me after that. I fought to keep it from shattering. Time slowed down as something hit it with a lot more force than a 39mm bullet from an AK-47. Whatever it was shattered my shield into a million pieces at my feet. The resounding crack of a sniper rifle echoed through the air a second later. Of course, they had a fucker sniper. I closed my eyes, waiting for the follow-up shot to come. I was a sitting duck here. Nothing was going to stop the round from a sniper rifle going through me. Whoever it was, I really hoped they were going for a clean shot. I didn't want to feel the moment I died. 

Something grabbed the back of my collar and gave me a solid yank. I was dragged across the ground for a few paces and the door was slammed before I could process what happened. My eyes snapped opened as I looked up at whoever had dragged me in.

“Fuck, it’s a good thing your skinny,” Nick from Bravo team was bent over at the waist, breathing heavily. “That was close.”

Clint was next to me on his back with one of the Alpha team boys bent over him.

“How long has he been out?” He asked me sharply.

“Since I woke up after the Quinjet crashed.” I was completely breathless. My throat felt like it was stuck together and I was suddenly aware of how thirsty I suddenly was. “He hasn’t been conscious since.”

“How did you get him here?” Nick asked.

“Carried him.”

Both of them snapped their heads in my direction with a look of shock. 

“He’s got 100 pounds on you,” Nick said, sounding a little awed. “You crashed miles away. How the fuck did you manage that?”

I shook my head. I really had no idea how I’d done it. I kept moving because otherwise, we’d be dead. My back was going to hate me for the rest of my life. At least we were safe. For now. 

“Evans is going to want a sitrep,” Nick continued when I didn’t speak. He held his hand out to me in a silent support. “He’s upstairs with Rumlow.”

I nodded this time, not trusting myself to have enough breath to speak. I took Nick’s hand and let him haul me to my feet. My legs shook and threatened to buckle underneath of me. Nick’s firm hold kept me steady until my legs decided to stay upright. Nick’s eyes went down to my blood covered hands.

“Not mine,” I said before he could ask. I discreetly kept my left hand hidden from view. “Ran into trouble on the way here.”

Nick didn’t ask me to explain. He simply squeezed my hand in a silent support and inclined his head towards the back of the building. He took the lead and I followed him through the house. Unlike the rest of the town, this was the double story. It looked well made and well kept unlike everything else. The house was dark with most of the window openings being covered up by furniture, acting as a barricade. There was no safe way of having shooters in the windows. It would be too easy to have them picked off by a few well-placed shots. This was a siege and something that wasn’t planned for. As we passed through the hallway I could see people huddled together in the rooms off it. Some of the other rooms had people laid out on whatever they could find, civilian and STRIKE personal. I didn’t ask Nick for details. He was in too much of a hurry to get up the stairs.

We came up to the first room at the top of the stairs. Nick pushed the door open without knocking. In the room, Evans and Rumlow looked up. Both were covered in grime and blood. Evans was leaning on the table heavily and Rumlow was holding a blood soaked field bandage to his left side. When they saw me, both of them looked like they’d seen a ghost.

“Agent Lyngley here for her sitrep,” I said tiredly. I couldn’t think of anything else to say.

“Kari.” Evans was the first to recover. He crossed the few steps between us and pulled me into a tight hug. I could barely breathe in his embrace but right now that didn’t matter. He was alive and so was I. My eyes squeezed shut as I hugged him back. I’d made it. 

“Barton?” Rumlow asked, breaking up the moment between Evans and I.

“Alive,” I said wearily, reluctantly untangling myself from Evans embrace. “Unconscious but alive. We both are.”

The last part was said to reassure myself more than anything else. I hadn’t died on the way here. I’d never be able to explain how I managed to carry Clint all the way back here. The will to survive could make you do things you never thought possible. I was never going to complain about doing arms day at the gym ever again. 

Rumlow opened his mouth to say something when the sound of someone whistling cut through the air. I thought I could whistle loudly but whoever this was taking it to ear piercing levels.

“SHIELD!” The man had a strange accent. It sounded French mixed with something else. “We have come to negotiate. The lives of some of your men in exchange for the mutant girl.”

Evans and Rumlow looked at me with a mixture of horror and grim determination crossing their faces. 

“Stay here,” Evans ordered firmly before I could say anything. “Look out the window.”

There was one small window above my eye height. There was a table pushed up against the wall tall enough to be able to see out of it. I nodded, not wanting to argue in what was about to be a very delicate situation. Evans and Rumlow took my confirmation and both bolted from the room. Evans was limping heavily but it didn’t seem to deter him from where ever they were going.

I climbed up on the small table and went invisible before peeking through the small window. I didn’t need to become a perfect target for a sniper, not after everything I’d just been through. In front of the house was a force of about 30 men. In front of them was the man who’d been identified as Aldon’s second in command, Khalil Sidi. The distinguishing scar on the side of his face gave away his identity. While Aldon was a ghost, Khalil was one every international agencies shit list. He was wanted for genocide, torture and a laundry list of other charges, mostly all crimes against humanity.

Two black clad figures were pushed forward in front of the crowd. Both of the STRIKE men were forced down to their knees, hands laced behind their heads. The one on the right was Gibson from Alpha team. He looked to be in bad shape. He could barely keep himself upright, his body noticeably swaying. The second one was a brown-haired figure with a set jaw, one that I knew far too well. All the breath in my body left in an audible whoosh as I stared into his face.

It was Sam.

Khalil pulled a pistol from his belt. Without a second of hesitation, he shot Gibson in the back of the head execution style.

I wasn’t the only one to have to muffle back a scream as Gibson fell to the ground. My hand flew to my mouth to stop any other sound coming out as I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the lifeless body on the ground. I’d only been joking with Gibson on the range a few days ago. Now he was on the ground with his brain scattered through the dirt. 

“It’s his turn next.” Khalil turned to Sam, pressing the pistol into the back of his head. Sam closed his eyes, visibly flinching as the weapon against his head. I could see Sam’s chest heaving in panicked breaths. “I’m going to count to 60 before I blow his brains over the ground.”

I lost all ability to breathe as I stared out of the window. 

“Two.”

The second number jolted me into action. I dumped the CheyTac, quiver and bow off my back. There was no point in me rushing in there shooting people. I’d only get Sam killed. I knelt down, fuming around in Clint’s arrowhead compartment until I found what I needed. One of his tips doubled as a grenade if needed. I was out of the room before I could second guess myself. I made it out of the room and to the top of the stairs before a strong hand closed around my arm and yanked me to a standstill. It was Rumlow. He’d lost all color in his face and his mouth opened to say something.

“Cover me,” I cut him off. My voice was a lot braver than I was currently feeling. “You told me once you trusted me. Do it now.”

Rumlow looked so conflicted. The voice of Khalid outside kept coming with his ominous counting. When he hit twenty, Rumlow’s grip on my arm loosened.

“Go.”

I didn’t need to be told twice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit that was crazy to write. I did mean to get this out sooner but I worked 8 days straight and finally got a chance to sit down and finish this tonight. So sorry for the delay everyone!


	75. Chapter 75

Every number being called out felt like a ticking time bomb. The sound of Khalil voice vibrated around the deathly quiet house. No one was making a sound except for me as I thumped down the stairs. Nick glanced over at me and didn’t need to be told what to do. He ran straight for the door, yanking it open just far enough to let me out. I went invisible as I hit the bottom of the stairs and I was out the door in a few paces. As I passed through the door frame, I smacked the end of the arrowhead into the wall. Hard. The loud beep told me I had about 10 seconds before I blew myself to pieces.

It was all happening so fast, I had to trust in myself with the bare bones of the plan in my head. While running, I threw the arrowhead into the thick of people and sprinted for my life. And Sam’s. I saw it bounce harmlessly into the crowd, landing at someone’s feet. No one glanced down at the minor disturbance. Like us, the mercenaries would all have their attention fixed firmly on what was happening in front of them. Time slowed down as I got within reach of Sam. 

I tackled Sam from the side as hard as I could throw my body into it. We both skidded sideways, sprawling out in the dirt. My bruised and battered body screamed in protest at me hitting the hard ground. My chest felt it had been stuck in a vice as I struggled to gain any breath. There wasn’t a second to waste. I twisted my body around, forcing myself to my knees and put my hands out. Time seemed to slow down even further as I saw 30 men all raise their weapons at me. Their shouts were muffled, lips were moving with no real words coming out. Khalil’s face had twisted into an angry snarl as his Sig Sauer pointed towards me.

The beep coming from the arrowhead was the only thing I heard clearly. I set my jaw and hoped like hell I didn’t sign mine and Sam’s death warrant. I’d done this before and I could do it again. My power gathered on my fingertips and without thinking, I pushed it out as hard as I possibly could. The effect was instant. The ice fanned out a nanosecond before the exploding arrowhead went off. I could feel the ice cracking under the pressure of the kinetic shock that followed the explosion. My ears rang from the resulting force of it. The wall of ice was enough to shield us from the worse of the shock and noise of it all. Khalil was unfortunate enough to be standing too close to the wall of ice as it fanned out. His body was engulfed before he could take a step backward. It felt like an eternity before the explosion stopped, leaving the wall of ice intact under my hands. In reality, it was only a few seconds. 

Sam yanked me to my feet the moment the gunfire from the other side of the wall of ice started. My legs didn’t want to cooperate with the first few steps but thankfully Sam managed to keep me upright. The wall of ice shattered behind us and the bullets started to come far too close for comfort. I zigzagged, almost tripping over my own feet in the haste to avoid getting shot. Sam was with right with me, nearly colliding with me as we ran for our lives.

It was only about 40 feet from the building. Right now it felt like it was 40 miles. I could feel the heat of the bullets traveling past me. It was so loud I couldn’t hear a damn thing. Next to me, Sam staggered. His grip on me was still strong and it brought us both crashing to the ground. I looked over at him to see what had happened. I couldn’t hear what he was saying, but the pool of blood forming underneath us was a pretty clear indication. Sam was on the ground, clutching at his right arm. He’d been shot.

The only thing I could do was protect us while we were a clear target on the ground. My body was already acting as soon as that thought hit my head. The ice shield, as Clint had dubbed it so long ago, came up quickly giving us a few precious seconds of protection. 

Another explosion went off, shaking the ground underneath me. Men from the mercenary side of the army screamed loud enough that even my hearing could manage to hear. I couldn’t see what had happened clearly behind the ice. A hand grabbed my shirt, yanking me to my feet before I could do anything else. I didn’t struggle and let whoever it was, drag me back to my feet and shove me roughly in the direction of the house. Out of the corner of my eye, two figures in black were pulling Sam up to his feet as best as he could manage. I didn’t have time to stop and help, whoever it was that pulled me to my feet grabbed me by the shirt and was dragging me back to the house. 

Everything was a blur. The noise of returning gunfire didn’t help my already shitty hearing. There was a burning sensation in my right leg that wasn’t helping my ability to run. Somehow, the group of us managed to make it back into the house. The door slammed behind me and I collapsed to the ground.

Looking up, it was Rumlow bent over me looking like he’d just run a marathon by the way his chest was heaving up and down. He mouth was moving but the sounds were all a jumble in my head.

“What?” My voice sounded distant and far away to my own ears. I knew I wasn’t speaking quietly. 

“Are you hurt?” Rumlow’s voice finally broke through the painful ringing in my ears. While I was glad to have my hearing back, the rest of the sounds of the world around me also came rushing back. When the pained scream cut through the air, I really wished I’d been deaf for another few seconds.

“No.” I looked around Rumlow to see where the sound had come from.

Sam was propped against the wall. Nick had Sam’s shot arm and was applying a tourniquet. Sam looked deathly pale. He was biting his lip, kicking and flailing his legs against the ground as Nick wound the tourniquet up.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Nick kept repeating the same phrase over and over again as he worked on Sam’s arm. Nick moved to put pressure on the bleeding wound on his arm. It was enough for Sam to fight against the seemingly light touch. 

Without being told, Rumlow and I both sprung towards Sam to pin him down. I ended up sitting on his lap, keeping his legs from thrashing around and Rumlow held up down by his shoulders and the uninjured arm.

“Hurts,” Sam said hoarsely, bucking against me as Nick tried to get some pressure on his arm again. “Fucking hurts.”

“I know.” I felt useless as I straddled Sam, fighting my own fatigue and aches trying to keep him still. “Just give it a minute. Nick will get it fixed up.”

There was a lot of blood. Sam’s upper arm looked very misshaped. It was almost like his humerus had been snapped and bent in the wrong direction. There was a clear entry and exit to the gunshot wound, both which were bleeding profusely. The only bit of luck was there was no arterial bleeding. The blood wasn’t spurting out, only running in rivers from the bullet wound.

“Hold him,” Nick commanded firmly. 

Before any of us could ask why, Nick wedged Sam’s arm between his hands, slapping two hemostatic dressings on the entry and exit wound. The bent shape in Sam’s arm suddenly moved and I realized it was his bone being shoved back into place.

Sam’s scream of pain was thankfully short lived. He went pale as a ghost before passing out completely. It was only because of Rumlow’s strength that he managed to keep him upright. Nick was a Navy corpsman before he joined SHIELD. It showed now as he got Sam’s wound bandaged and the arm splinted in less than a minute. The crisp white bandages stood out against Sam’s dirty uniform. Whatever had happened to him in his brief time in captivity must not have been pleasant. Half of his face was bruised, looking like someone had hit him with the butt of a rifle. His uniform was torn and stained with dirt and sticky patches of blood. 

“Is he going to be all right?” I could scarcely get the words out. My throat was so dry. Talking made it feel like my throat was sticking together from lack of moisture. 

“Provided we can get out of here,” Nick said gruffly, sitting back onto his haunches. He suddenly looked as exhausted as I was currently feeling. “I can feel his humerus in a few pieces. He’s lucky the bullet didn’t hit an artery otherwise he would have bled out before you got him in here.”

That was far too close for comfort. My mind suddenly went to poor Gibson still on the ground out there. None of us had time to grab him in the chaos of it all.

“We need to go get Tommy.” I felt tears prick at my eyes. Gibson didn’t deserve to be left out there for the enemy to tear him to pieces. He didn’t deserve what had happened to him. He was finally putting his life back together after his suicide attempt last year. I only found out a week before the mission that he had a three year old son. He wasn’t with the mother anymore and they lived 2 hours away. When we got back from this mission Gibson had been planning to have his son for an entire week. Now his little boy was going to grow up without his father.

“We got him,” Rumlow said softly, inclining his head towards the door. “It’s okay, he’s going to come home with us.”

A sheet had been draped over him but it was unmistakable there was a body underneath it. I had to swallow back the lump in my throat and force the tears back. I couldn’t think of it now. There’d be plenty of time to mourn him later. Underneath me, Sam stirred again. He groaned, blinking rapidly as he slowly returned to consciousness. He stiffened underneath me, feeling ready to start fighting for his life as his unfocused eyes landed on me.

“Hey.” I leaned forward and gently hugged Sam. “I got you.”

“Kari?” Sam’s voice was scarcely above a whisper. I hugged him a little tighter to make sure this was real. That Sam was here and breathing underneath of me. That I’d actually pulled off the impossible and not gotten either of us killed. 

“She’d kill me if I let you die,” I was close enough to Sam’s ear I could whisper than to him without fear of anyone hearing. Sam still seemed dazed, but his good arm came up and awkwardly hugged me back. It only lasted for seconds. The arm dropped away from me just as quickly and Sam passed out again. 

I eased myself off Sam’s slumped body. Nick and Rumlow both gently eased him to the ground. Rumlow arranged him so he at least looked comfortable while Nick made sure his injured arm was above his head. He hadn’t bled through the bandages yet so that was at least something. I sat on the ground, sprawled out as I struggled to catch my breath. Everything had happened so quickly my brain was still having trouble processing everything that happened. 

Clint was lying near Sam. He looked like he hadn’t been moved since we’d got here. He was still breathing and that's all I could ask for at the moment. Right now I’d give anything to have him awake and here with me. The rescue of Sam had been the last of my strength. I had nothing else now.

“Let me look at that.” Nick broke through my thoughts, pointing to my right leg. 

I glanced down to see my thigh bleeding from a wound. It looked like a bullet graze. No wonder my leg had been burning on the run back here. It wasn’t deep and the sluggish bleeding would have stopped on its own sooner rather than later. It was still a numb shock to see it. 

“Do it upstairs.” Rumlow cut off Nick reaching for my grazed leg. “They’re going to be back and we need a new plan.”

Rumlow pulled me to my feet while he spoke. My shaking legs really didn’t want to be working again. I felt like I had lead weights attached to them as I trudged after Rumlow. Each stair brought a fresh pain to my legs and back. If it wasn’t for Nick behind me, I’m not sure I would have made it up the stairs. There were a few times he put a steadying hand on my back as my legs faltered. I was never so grateful to collapse into Evans waiting arms when we reached the room.

“You do your team proud,” Evans said, his voice rough with contained emotion. He hugged me as tightly as my poor bruised body could handle. “Sit.”

I collapsed into the waiting chair. Nick wasted no time in dumping chlorhexidine into bullet graze. I swallowed back a string of nasty curses I wanted to spit at him for the burning sensation in my leg. Instead, I clutched at the table with my right hand, gritted my teeth and let him clean out the wound. 

“Left hand next.” Nick didn’t look up from cleaning out my leg. “Don’t think I didn’t notice it before.”

I’d barely noticed the pain in my left hand from the bowstring cutting in up until now. I tested the motion in the hand tentatively. The shooting pain down my fingers was bearable and I was able to move them a fraction. The cuts in the folds of my fingers were deep and covered in dried blood.

The room was silent while Nick cleaned me up as best he could. Rumlow handed me a canteen full of water. It took every ounce of my self-control not to drink it dry in a few big gulps. I was so thirsty. I forced myself to sip, not guzzle, otherwise, it’d be making a reappearance sooner rather than later. When it came to my hand, my fingers didn’t want to uncurl. Nick had to physically straighten them one at a time while he cleaned out the deep welts on them. Although stiff and the cuts deep, it didn’t feel like I’d done any lasting damage to my fingers. Clint’s bowstring was made of a combination of different materials to withstand the pressure he put them under. Even with his calloused fingers, he always used finger guards when shooting his mission bows. I was lucky I didn’t cut through to the bone while using it.

Even through all my squirming, Nick had my leg and hand bandaged up within minutes. Once I was done, he gave my arm a squeeze and left the room. There were no words to say about anything at the moment. Because I’d saved Sam it didn’t mean we were any less in the shit right now.

“Tell us everything from when you pulled away from us.” Evans sat down heavily in the chair across from me. I didn’t miss the tight expression of pain all across his face. Even I could tell he was doing everything he could to stay off his left leg. It was no doubt why it was Rumlow who followed me downstairs and not Evans.

I felt oddly detached as I started to give all of the details. It was almost unbelievable to my own ears to what I’d done. I would have scoffed at it all if it had been someone else. But here I was. Alive and only a few minor wounds for my troubles. My description of what I’d seen along the way had Rumlow’s jaw tight with tension. Evans looked drained and exhausted as I told them about the small city the enemy seemed to have. All of our escape routes were blocked and there was no getting out. Even though Clint and I had survived the crash, the situation wasn’t looking any less grim than those horrid moments as we tumbled down to the earth. I didn’t need to ask what was going to happen. The look on Rumlow’s face was enough to tell me we were royally fucked right now. I was about to ask Rumlow and Evans what the plan was before a yell from downstairs cut me off.

“Incoming!” 

No sooner had the word rung out across the building, the sound of gunfire started up again.

“Can you get on the roof?” Evans asked me. “Tex and Cobb are both gone, we need some cover.”

“On it.” 

There was nothing else to be said on the matter. I couldn’t let the little piece of information distract me from anything right now. Rumlow took the lead, carrying Clint’s bow and quiver for me as we went through the upper level. There was a rickety ladder with a hatch leading to the roof.

“Be fucking careful,” Rumlow stressed as I started to climb the ladder. I nodded, not having the breath or energy to speak right now. The wooden hatch opened easily, spilling bright sunlight into the dim building. It was blinding for a second, making me wince. I carefully poked my head out looking at my surroundings.

The top of the building wasn’t much. An open area with a foot high barrier around it. I was going to be very open up here, even if I was laying down behind the CheyTac. My first call of business was going to have to be taking out the sniper so I didn’t have to worry about my head being blown off.

“Here.” I looked back down to Rumlow, holding out my hand for the bow and quiver. I could make a big distraction again to give me time to pick off the sniper.

Rumlow handed me up the items, making it a very awkward handful. I closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath as I went invisible again. It was getting harder and harder every single time I did it. Right now the only thing keeping me going was sheer willpower. Somewhere in that willpower was giving me the concentration and energy to maintain my power. 

Despite my exhaustion, my hands were steady as I got another three explosive arrows ready. I could clearly see everything happening up here. There were three groups of men advancing on our building. Two of the groups were firing while the third one, the group in the middle was staying hidden in the cover of one of the smaller buildings. They were making no attempt at sneaking up or being quiet. 

It was almost too easy for the two groups in the open. I notched the first arrow and before it hit its target, I had the second arrow notched and going for the second group. The resulting explosions were no less horrific than before. I forced myself to not look and turn my attention towards the third group. I couldn’t see them at all from my position on the roof. I moved a few steps to the right, scanning the shadows of the buildings for any sign of movement.

A sharp crack came through the air. Whistling less than a few inches from where I was standing. The bullet slammed into the rock behind me just as the resulting bang from the other sniper’s rifle was heard. Whoever the sniper was, wasn’t far away. There was only a 3-second delay between the two sounds. In the moment of my attention being focused elsewhere, the middle group ran out from their cover with a rocket launcher.

This was bad. This was really, really fucking bad. Although the house seemed pretty damn sturdy and well built, there’s no way it would handle a rocket being shot into it. 

It was the ultimate game of who’s trigger finger was quicker. Muscle memory took over and I had the arrow on the bowstring and it was launching through the air before I could blink. It felt like hours as I watched the arrow sail through the air towards the target. I don’t know how it happened but the arrow hit first. 

Hitting a rocket launcher with an exploding arrow was devastating. I could feel the heat of the resulting fireball from where I was standing. The force of it made me stagger back a few steps as the building shook beneath me. In my moment of inattentiveness, I glanced down and realized I could see my arm. My invisibility was gone.

I dropped to the ground, rolling away from the spot I’d been standing in. No sooner had I hit the ground, the crack of a bullet passing the sound barrier echoed through the air. I swore under my breath at the other sniper. Whoever the person was certainly didn’t mess around with trying to get rid of me. They were a good shot too. If I’d dropped half a second later there’d be a very big hole through my body. I stuck my hand up and gave the other sniper the finger. A taunt for missing me. I quickly went invisible again, scuttling along the ground as fast as I could from my previous spot. Luckily for me, the other sniper had an ego. Another shot landed in the spot I’d been in a few seconds later. 

Back when Riley had taught the sniper class he’d discussed a lot of tactics. He’d been adamant on never, ever being taunted into shooting at another person. All it did was give away your own position and make it easier for your nest to be compromised. During that class, I’d rolled my eyes thinking that only someone stupid would get pulled into a game like that. Right now someone was doing exactly that. Even in the rush of moving, I could easily count the seconds between the snap, bang. The other sniper was about 300 yards away and from the sound of the echo from the fire, it was to the right. There weren’t many places a sniper could be in that direction.

Moving slowly so I didn’t disturb anything on the roof that might give me away, I crept over and picked up the CheyTac. It was a slow crawl back to the wall to find the optimum position to fire from. The wall was a perfect height. While it didn’t provide me any cover at all, I could easily rest the CheyTac on it. The building was high enough that I had a perfect view of the village around me. Looking through the scope, my attention went to the right-hand side of the village.

It was all single story mud huts over there. The Quinjet crash site was in the distance, meaning this was the side I’d entered from. A few of the mud huts were more solid than the rest of them. There was one building looking like it was made from mud bricks with a solid roof. It wasn’t much higher than anything else around it. The difference would have been enough to make it a good perch. A small glint of something caught my eye on that building as I studied it. It was nothing more than a flash. If I blinked I would have missed it. I adjusted the scope, feeling a feral grin tug at my lips. The other sniper was lying on the roof cleverly concealed by my some scrap metal. The haphazard design of the roofing made it very easy for him to pull a few spare sheets of metal over the top of him and not look out of place. What had given him away was probably little more than a zipper catching the light. It was enough for me though. I tucked the CheyTac in and lined my shot up. Exhaling, I gently squeezed the trigger.

The first shot of the CheyTac always felt like it rattled your bones. Today was no different as the bullet left the chamber and traveled through the blistering morning air. It would have taken less than three seconds for the bullet to reach its intended target. Watching it travel through the air felt more like three hours. A .408 round coming from a CheyTac was devastating on a human body. I could see the brilliant splatter of a human body going everywhere once the bullet hit the other sniper. 

I didn’t have time to cheer on my victory. The sound of men shouting drew my attention back to what was happening closer towards me. More of the enemy were rushing towards us again. I didn’t hesitate. At this range, they had practically painted a target on themselves. I let go of my invisibility and started firing. Below me, I could hear the sounds of returning gunfire as well. 

Time became irrelevant as I lay in the baking sun shooting down men. They’d come in waves, sometimes there’d be so many I could barely keep up with them. Other times, smaller groups tried to sneak through our defenses. Neither of us gained an inch and there seemed to be an infinite number of the enemy. In the times of inactivity, I managed to catch snatches of the activity going on in the enemy base. It wasn’t much, people scurrying back and forth. The actual house was heavily guarded. As the day wore on there were fewer attacks on our building. I began taking shots at men who strayed too far from their camp. If they wanted to box us in, I was happy to do the same to them. It didn’t take long for them to get the idea and huddled together. It was a small blessing that they didn’t have another sniper. It could have made my day interesting in a not so great way. 

By the time the sun was setting I was down most of my ammo supplies. Every so often someone had come up to the hatch and thrown me a water canteen during the day. It had gotten further apart as the day went on. It didn’t take a genius to work out that our water supplies were limited and I was being given what little we had because of being out in the sun. I sent the last canteen back half full. The injured needed it more than I did. 

I was grateful when the first shadows of the evening fell over the building. The few parts of me that were uncovered were really sunburnt. My lips were cracked and bleeding. I’d lost my gloves in the crash so even the back of my hands were a brilliant shade of red. I had a headache, the throbbing felt like it was coming from my brain. I’d happily kill someone for a chapstick and some aspirin.

The hatch opened and I glanced back. Rumlow came out a second later, crawling along the ground until he reached me.

“How is it?” He asked quietly, scanning the area himself. 

“We’re at a stalemate.” I looked through the scope again. There wasn’t much activity coming from the enemy at all. “I think they’re trying to wait us out.”

“They are,” Rumlow confirmed. 

I glanced over at him. He looked exhausted, even more so than before. His expression told me more than words really could. We were really fucked right now.

“There’s no water, no food and our injured need some serious attention,” Rumlow said lowly. “Unless we can get a radio and let SHIELD know we’re all still alive, there’s no rescue coming. Even if there was, I don’t know if we can wait out another 24 hours.”

This was meant to be a quick mission. In and out within hours, not days. No one had taken supplies beyond enough water to drink while on the mission. In this oppressive heat, we’d all be dehydrating at a rapid rate. My guess would be 48 hours before we all started dropping from it. For the first time, I thought of Jared. Someone must have thrown around some serious weight for him not to come after me. Either that or someone had the sense to knock him out so he couldn’t disobey them. I could really do with his help right now. I closed my eyes and blew out a long breath. It was no good wishing for something that wasn’t going to happen. I had to figure out a way by myself. I’d been up here watching for long enough I had a rough idea of how to infiltrate the enemy’s building. They had radios that still worked. All I’d need to do is sneak in, grab a radio and any other supplies I could carry. 

“Kari?”

Rumlow saying my name snapped my attention back to him instead of the plan forming in my head. He was looking at me and I could hear the expectation in his voice. 

“What do we desperately need that I can carry?”

There were no arguments. Rumlow thrust a water canteen in my hands looking the most hopeful I’d seen him.

“Radios, any medical supplies you can put your hands on,” he began to rattle off as I drained the water canteen. I knew this was non-negotiable that I drank it. I’d need every drop of moisture too if I was going to have the energy to pull this off. “But if nothing else, grab the radios. It’s our only hope of getting out of here.”

I nodded as I pushed myself into a sitting position. My entire body screamed in protest at the movement. My back felt like it was in spasms. The skin around the bullet graze on my leg was tight and pulled as I shifted positions. My shoulder ached from where the CheyTac had been kicking back all day and my left hand stung with every flex of my fingers. Moving set off my headache again. I was a fucking mess. I knew this was our only hope though and I was the only one who was going to be able to pull it off. A lot of lives depended on me to get them home. 

Finishing the water made me feel slightly more human. It did little to quench how thirsty I was, though it was better than nothing at all. I didn’t need to pinch my skin to tell how dehydrated I was, I could feel it well enough. Using my cryokinesis so much earlier had really drained my body. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was like last time I was in the desert and using my power. The moisture had to come from somewhere and there wasn’t enough in this environment to use it. 

“I’ll stay up here.” Rumlow motioned to the CheyTac. “Anything I need to know about it?”

“When it’s hot it will shoot to the left a little.” No matter how much I wanted to tell Rumlow I’d kill him if he broke it, there was no need. He knew the importance of the weapon in his hands. “I think there’s a bit of a shit in the barrel from when I dropped it. Mind the recoil.”

“Got it.” Rumlow nudged me so he could settle behind the rifle. 

It took a lot of effort to get my body to work, even more so to start crawling to the hatch of the roof. Even though there was no sniper, I didn’t want to give it away that we were changing positions. It would be a dead giveaway that something was about to happen. Especially with me carrying the bow and quiver. Evans was waiting for me at the bottom of the ladder, leaning all of his weight off the left leg. He had my P30’s and knife in his hands.

“I’ll take this.” I lifted the bow. “It’ll let me be quieter. I’ll have the knife though.”

There was a lot more bravado in my voice than I was feeling. If I wasn’t so exhausted I’m sure I’d be shit scared. That part of my brain seemed to have switched off. I wasn’t looking forward to this but I wasn’t throwing up from nerves either. It was a bizarre feeling.

“Just…” Evans trailed off as he handed me the knife. He swallowed heavily before continuing. “Remember there’s a little girl back home who loves her Kari very much.”

That tugged on my heart. I didn’t have any words to say to that. There was no point telling me to be careful or to come back. It was very likely neither of those things were going to happen. Giving me a small reminder of Alexi was a good incentive to do everything I could to come back. 

With every step, my legs seemed to gain a little more strength. By the time I made it downstairs I was a ball of jittery energy. The adrenaline was going to be a blessing while it lasted. It was dark down here, it took my eyes a few moments to adjust. I found the two people I needed to easily enough. Sam and Clint hadn’t been moved since I left them here. I couldn’t look at the other injured, it was too much to take in.

“Hey.” I knelt down in front of Clint and took his hand. He was still unconscious. There were a few marks on the ground looking like he’d been struggling at one stage. Right now he was quiet and still. “I’ll be back soon. You better be awake when I get back. I’m not carrying your heavy ass anymore.”

Nothing. Not that I expected anything different. If there’d been a change in Clint, for good or bad, then someone would have let me know. I didn’t linger. I shuffled over to where Sam was laying. Unlike Clint, he opened his eyes as I took his hand on his uninjured arm. He was dripping with sweat and I could feel the heat radiating off him from where I was. His injured arm had soaked through the bandages and judging by the pile next to him, I knew it wasn’t his first change of bandages either. I had no words as I realized at how dire it was becoming for him. 

“Didn’t…” Sam’s voice came out hoarse as he struggled to focus on me. “Was ready to see Riley.”

“Too bad.” I shoved back the sudden lump in my throat as I looked at him. I forced a smile on my face. “He wasn’t ready to see you yet. I’m going to get us home, okay?”

“Don’t….anything stupid,” Sam’s words became slurred. “She’ll kill me too.”

This time the smile wasn’t quite as forced as I put together what Sam was saying. I had no doubt Natasha would kill him if I didn’t come back alive. I gave his hand a squeeze before gently setting it down beside him. I had to go before I really started to think of the consequences of me doing this. Sam didn’t notice me getting up, he’d passed out again before his hand was back on the ground.

Standing up, I slung the quiver over my back. I adjusted it so it was comfortable and not going to bang around on my back. The precious minute of getting it comfortable and in the best position could possibly save my life. I kept the bow in my hand and shoved the knife into my belt. The door was already open for me. All I had to do was go invisible and run for my life. Along with the lives of the two STRIKE teams left with me.

I took in a deep breath, straightening up as I stared at the open door. I could do this.

I had to do this.

With that final thought, I jogged out into the rapidly cooling evening. 

There was no avoiding the carnage I’d caused earlier with the explosive arrows. I forced myself to look ahead and not down at the crunching sounds underneath my boots. The smell was horrific. The scattered and burned body parts had been baking in the sun all day. The lingering stench of purification hung in my nostrils even when I was clear of the debris. My body wanted to cough and retch to get rid of it. I put my hand over my mouth, forcing myself not to do either. Any sound would very easily give me away on my current destination. The path had been clear before I left. Anything could have happened in those few minutes I’d taken to get myself ready. 

It was almost too easy to reach the energy camp. My shooting from earlier seemed to still be a deterrent. Men were still hidden under the cover of the buildings. There were low rumbles amongst them as they spoke. I was moving too fast and too focused on my target ahead to take much notice of it though. The entrance to the house was unguarded. The bodies of the two guards I’d shot earlier were still on the ground. Both were missing most of their heads from the perfect headshots I’d landed. Brains and blood were scattered along the wall of the building. I paused for a moment to stare at the bodies. The only feeling I could muster was a sense of achievement at how perfect the two shots had been. Clint would have been so proud of them if he saw them.

Shaking my head, I focused back on the task at hand. Stepping into the building was going to be the hard part. I had no idea of where anything was. It wasn’t a huge building. My biggest problem was the main bulk of the enemy force was going to be positioned in here. It’s where most of them had dove for cover when I started shooting at their camp. I took in a deep breath and stepped into the dark unknown.

My eyes took a few moments to adjust to the darkness. I’d stepped into a large room, not unlike the one where Clint and Sam now lay. Men were sitting on the ground doing various tasks. The stink of cigarette smoke mixed in with the stench of unwashed bodies. Along with the smell of the rotting dead bodies outside, it was an odor strong enough to make my stomach recoil again. 

I forced my feet to keep moving. Throwing up would definitely give me away. One of the rooms to the left had the door open. There was a dim fluorescent light flickering in the room giving me a good view of it. The walls were lined with weapons. That wasn’t what caught my eye first. The most noticeable thing was the many packs and webbing dumped on the floor. By some stroke of luck, the top one was clearly labeled with a bright red cross on the white background. It was the Alpha team medics pack. I hadn’t seen Wilkerson among the men in our own building. I didn’t hesitate to pick up the pack and sling it over my free should. It looked unopened and undisturbed. The few supplies would go a long way.

Beyond the walls filled with weapons, the room was missing one important thing. Radios. I knew it couldn’t be that easy. The radios would have to be somewhere that would have shielded them from the EPM blast. More importantly, it was a very necessary piece of equipment. Not something that they’d leave lying around in the open. Especially when your enemy desperately needed it. 

Resisting the urge to kick the wall in frustration, I hiked up the pack on my free shoulder and left the room. As I turned, I narrowly avoided running straight into another man. He was barely half an inch from my face as I quickly sidestepped around him. He wandered into the room, lazily kicking some webbing out of the way as he went. I was about to turn away when something caught my eye in the dim light.

A radio was clipped to his belt. 

I stared at the little black device hanging within my reach. This was my only shot to do this. It was a good thing Clint had taught me how to pickpocket a few months ago. Beyond doing it to him and the odd STRIKE guy just to piss them off, I’d never done it for real. I didn’t hesitate. I crossed the few steps between us, sticking my foot out near one of the straps of a backpack. He tripped over my foot and got tangled up in the backpack strap.

Cursing, the man glared down at his seemingly clumsy feet and went to kick his foot free. While he was distracted, I darted forward and pulled the radio from his belt in one swift movement. It was the key to it all. Do it quickly and never, ever hesitate. I had it off his belt and was halfway out of the room before he finished getting his foot free. I knew I should have stayed and done some more scouting ahead to see what else they had in the building. I’d been relying pretty heavily on luck right now and I didn’t want it to run out. I ran from the building, as fast as my legs could carry me clutching the precious piece of equipment in my hand tightly. 

I went visible as I ran into our building, scaring the shit out of everyone in the dimly lit room. I didn’t bother to apologize or stop what I was doing except to dump the medical pack at Nick’s feet. I went straight up to the room where Rumlow and Evans had commanded. Evans was sitting down, nearly in the same position as I’d seen him last time. He looked up at me, not bothering to cover his surprise. I put the radio down on the table.

“I wasn’t going to push my luck getting another one,” the words came between my gasping pants as I struggled to catch my breath. “Found some medical supplies too.”

Evans wasted no time snatching the radio up and turning it on. He quickly flicked through the channels while I lent on the table struggling to catch my breath. My chest seemed to be hurting more and more as time went on. I was confident I could add a cracked rib to the list of injuries. As I struggled to breathe, Evans tried several radio channels. It was only a small radio, designed to pick up local channels. I wouldn’t have a clue about the protocol with it and judging by the despair creeping across Evans' face, it wasn’t going to help us.

“Come on,” Evans muttered under his breath, twisting the dial a little more forcibly this time. “Give me something.”

Like a prayer being answered, the radio crackled to life. Neither of us breathed as we listened to the minority distorted voices coming through. It was in English and the accent sounded a lot like home. Evans didn’t waste any time in rattling off the standard SHIELD identifier. There was a long pause on the other end of the line when the receiving end finally spoke.

“Copy SHIELD Bravo, hold secure on this channel.”

It felt like less than a second before another voice came over the radio.

“SHIELD Bravo, this is Agent Coulson. Do you read?”

If I was any less tired or numb, I might have burst into tears at hearing Coulson’s voice. Even though it was slightly distorted, it was music to my ears. I impatiently waited for Evans to finish doing their security check to confirm it was actually him. Then he got down to the nitty details.

“Mission was compromised from touch down.” Evans reached up to scrub a hand over his face. “I have six confirmed KIA STRIKE agents, 2 pilots KIA. Nine are MIA, all STRIKE.”

Evans paused to look over at me. A strained smile tugged at his lips.

“Both Delta accounted for.”

I don’t think the long shuddering breath Coulson let out was meant to be heard by us. Evans continued with the rest of his report on our situation. There was no time or room for me to talk to Coulson, no matter how much I wanted his reassurance right now. This was all business. 

“We have Charlie and Echo on standby five hours away,” Coulson’s statement made me turn my attention fully to the radio. “I’ve got F-22’s on alert fifteen at Camp Cooke if you need air support. Authorisation for a kill order for Aldon has been given.”

Those words were music to my ears. The initial orders had been to capture instead of kill, hence why we hadn’t been allowed to drop bombs. Now we could blow this shit hole to hell. Alert fifteen meant the pilots had fifteen minutes to get into the aircraft and in the air. It would roughly be an hour of flying time here if they dawdled. An F-22 could probably make it here within half an hour if the pilots were allowed to fly at any kind of speed. There was still the problem of getting the rest of our guys out. 

“We still have agents in the enemy camp.” Evans seemed to read my mind. “I’m not calling in air support while we have men alive.”

The pause on the other end of the radio made my stomach turn uncomfortably. I knew how ruthless SHIELD could be with leaving people behind.

“Do we have confirmation they’re alive?” Coulson finally asked. 

Evans looked over at me for the answer. I’d been the one on the roof all day watching the goings-on. As far as I could tell, our guys were being held in one of the larger tents. One of the tents hidden behind a building seemed to be guarded heavily. I hadn’t been able to get clean shots in the area at all because of the placement of the buildings in front of it. I motioned for Evans to hold the radio down so I could talk.

“Yes.” The lie was easy to slip out. “I can get them out but I need some help.”

Coulson would know exactly what kind of help I meant. There’s no way I could sneak people in and out without them being noticed. It would take too long. I really needed Jared’s help with his. Teleporting nine people out would take him less than a minute. I had the perfect distraction to keep any eyes off him too.

“Give me five,” Coulson said briskly. “Over and out.”

“Can you get Rumlow?” Evans turned to me. A little bit of hope had gone a long way to making him less exhausted. “We’re going to need him here to plan this.”

Hearing Coulson’s voice had given my body a new burst of energy. I jogged to the hatch and hollered for Rumlow. As I turned around, I stopped short as a familiar buzz in the air came in front of me. Jared appeared in front of me and I wasted no time in throwing myself into his arms. Jared grabbed me, hugging me so tightly I could barely breathe.

“Thank god your safe,” Jared’s voice was choked up. “I’ve never been so scared in my life. I’m so sorry, Coulson wouldn’t let me come after you until you guys made contact. Even think I’m sure he broke about thirty rules by sending me. Hang on, here.”

Jared pulled back abruptly enough that I staggered at the sudden loss. He dropped the oversized bag slung over his back on the ground and dropped to rummage through it. He produced a bottle of water, aspirin and some lip balm a second later.

“My head is fucking kill me.” Jared handed me the items with a visible wince. “Do us both a favor and get rid of it.”

Instead of taking the offered items, I threw my arms around Jared’s neck and hugged him again. The relief of seeing him felt like an elephant had been lifted off my shoulders. A lump formed in my throat and I quickly blinked the moisture gathering in my eyes away. Now wasn’t a time to cry, no matter how happy I was to see him. Jared hugged me back, hard. I didn’t need Mom’s powers to feel the relief pouring off him. 

“I hate to break up the family reunion,” Rumlow’s dry voice came from behind Jared. “But we have shit to do.”

Right. People to save. Asses to kick. I gave Jared a final hug before letting him go. This time I took his offered items. The lip balm felt like heaven on my cracked lips. The cold water tasted like the best thing I’d ever drunk in my life. The coolness chased away the desert in my mouth and throat. The bottle was nearly gone in the few steps it took to get back into the room with Evans. I took a handful of aspirin with the last mouthful, hoping it would speed up the process of getting rid of my headache.

“You rang?” Jared’s overly happy voice made Evans glare at him It softened a second later as Jared threw him a bottle of water, along with a bottle of pills. “Percocet. I have morphine and a few bags of IV fluids too.”

Jared put the bag on the table, opening it again and rummaging around through it. He pulled out a few bars of chocolate and a plastic case. 

“Radios, secure channels,” Jared said, pushing the case towards Evans. “Chocolate. Water. It was everything I could stuff into the bag on short notice.”

The last part came off sounding apologetic. I didn’t waste any time, I grabbed a bar of chocolate and ripped into it. The chocolate was the caffeine laden stuff that came with MRE’s. My bar was gone in about three bites. I’m not sure Rumlow chewed his at all. Normally I’d made a dirty joke about how he learned to fit so much in his mouth. Right now all I could focus on was chewing and swallowing. Sugar and caffeine went a long way to making me feel I had some energy again. While the three of us were eating, Jared went downstairs to deliver the rest of the care package to those who needed it. He came back upstairs looking rattled by whatever he saw downstairs. Ever the true professional, he was all business by the time he crossed the room. I didn’t miss the questioning look he shot me. No doubt I’d be in for an interrogation later.

“What’s the plan?” Jared asked, looking between the three of us. 

I took in a deep breath. Jared wasn’t going to like this.

“I can get us to the tent where I think the other guys are being held,” I spoke up, keeping my voice steady. Jared looked at me with one eyebrow cocked up in surprise. “From there you teleport them out while I create a distraction.”

“No.” Jared shook his head straight away. “You get them out and I’ll make a distraction. I can get out of the way quicker than you.”

“You can also get the nine guys out a lot quicker than me,” I argued back, bristling at Jared’s instant dismissal of my plan. “Aldon wants me. He’s made that clear a few times. I can use that to our advantage. If we time it right, we can have an airstrike hit their camp.”

“And if you don’t time it right, you’re going to get blown up.” Jared frowned at me. “No, I’ll create the distraction. I’ll teleport right in there and that will be tempting enough for him.”

“Before this turns into an argument,” Rumlow spoke up before I could argue back. “I agree with Kari. She’s the one that’s been causing problems with Aldon. He’ll want her. You’ll only get yourself killed Jared.”

Jared turned to Rumlow and started to argue with him against the idea. I knew why he was doing it. Right now I didn’t need an overprotective big brother. I needed a partner in crime. I snuck a look at Evans who’d been silent during the exchange. He had a stony look on his face. He didn’t have to voice his opinion. I already knew what it was. Evans caught my eye and gave me a small nod. It was all the permission I needed.

“Jared.” I cut into the rising voices of the two men. “I’m doing this with or without your help. If you don’t help, the causality list is going to be higher than it needs to be.”

“You’re going to get yourself killed for no good reason,” Jared snapped, turning to me. The ire in his voice could easily be mistaken for anger. I saw through it easily. It wasn’t anger, it was desperation. Jared knew this was right. He just didn’t want me to be the one doing it, no matter what the logical plan was. I wanted to reach over and hug him, reassure him that I was going to be fine. That wouldn’t work here though. This plan all rested on Aldon being greedy and wanting me for his army. He could easily shoot me on sight. 

“I’m STRIKE Team fucking Delta,” I said, setting my jaw stubbornly. This was the bravest I was ever going to get. I couldn’t falter now. “I’d like to see them try.”

We didn’t have time for this. Jared and I had to get moving. I was going to have to go invisible, sneak us in so Jared could get a look at where he was going. It was going to take time with the two of us and me not a hundred percent sure I had the right tent. It felt like an eternity as Jared and I stared at each other. I didn’t have to be his twin to see the internal struggle he was having right now. The emotions were flying through his head, pride, worry, stubbornness and most of all love. He didn’t have to tell me how proud he was of me. I could feel it. Then there was defeat. The slump of Jared’s shoulders was barely noticeable, but I saw it.

I held my hand out to Jared. He took in a deep breath and laced his fingers through mine. His grip was strong and reassuring against mine. 

“Get that airstrike ready,” I said to Evans. “Even if I’m not out, don’t hesitate.”

I turned away so I didn’t have to see the look on Evans' face. I wasn’t doing this to be brave. I was doing this to save the lives of nine other agents. There was no other way they’d get home alive. We’d already lost too many people in this clusterfuck of a mission. I had to trust in my ability and Jared’s as well. It was the only way.

Rumlow held out a radio to me which I declined with a shake of my head. No doubt I’d be searched when they took me captive. The less the enemy knew, the better.

“Good luck,” Rumlow said lowly, looking between Jared and I. “Kick some ass.”

There wasn’t much else anyone could say in this situation. We had no time to waste either. With another squeeze of Jared's hands, I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes. The invisibility wasn’t hard to maintain this time. It slid over both of us easily. Having Jared’s strong grip in mine was grounding. With a small tug, he followed me down the stairs and out the door. 

It was silent as we picked our way along the path towards the enemy camp. We came up to the camp easily enough. It was just like my last visit here. Men were still hidden from view. It was easy to get to the larger tent that was shrouded in the cover of the buildings and other tents. As we got closer, I nearly sagged in relief to see the inside of the tent I suspected to be open wide enough to see a few black uniforms in there. As we stopped to get a closer look, a man walked out of the tent pushing a STRIKE uniform person in from of him. I couldn’t see the face of who it was or understand the language being yelled. The situation was deteriorating quickly though. I only hoped we weren’t too late. I could only see five people in the tent.

Jared squeezed my hand before letting go. He teleported out of sight before anyone could see him. I closed my eyes, taking in a few deep breaths before I moved again. My stomach twisted into a knot of anxiety as I jogged into position. I was in the shadows of one of the small mud houses closest to the entrance of the larger building. My heart was pounding so hard I could hear it echoing in my head. Letting go of my invisibility, I took a step out of the shadows before my courage failed me. 

“Aldon Machar!” I called out, moving slowly towards the building with my hands held up. “I heard you were looking for me.”

The sounds of about a hundred rifles being cocked made me stop in my tracks. I raised my hands a little higher in the hopes no one had an itchy trigger finger. I didn’t have to wait long for something to happen. In less than ten seconds, a group of armed men came jogging out to my position.

“Down.” The sharp command in English made me drop to my knees instantly. I hoped my compliance would make this easier for me. I laced my fingers behind my head without being told and kept my eyes on the ground. Rough hands groped over my body searching for weapons. I kept my eyes fixed on the ground as the hands roamed over my body. Thankfully no one seemed inclined to grope me and I hauled to my feet less than a minute later. The only thing in my pockets was the lip balm Jared had given me. There was a scoff of disgust and the tube was shoved back in my pocket a second later. My hands were yanked in front of me and metals cuffs tightened around my wrists. The muzzle of an assault rifle pressed into the back of my head, telling me in no uncertain terms that one wrong move would see my brains blown out.

“Walk.”

I was surprised at how steady my legs were as I did as I was told. There were so many people staring at me as I marched forward steadily into the building. The first door on the left-hand side was already open and with a rough shove forward, I staggered into the room. Unlike everything else, this room was brightly lit. It took my eyes a few seconds to adjust to the brightness after being in the dark for so long. 

“Leave.”

Still blinking, I focused on where the deep voice had come from. Standing in the middle of the room was a man my height with dark skin. His shaved head reflected off the harsh lighting in the room. His brown eyes looked at me with a sinister smirk. What surprised me most was he looked young. I doubted he was any older than I was. The men who’d marched me into the room all left as quickly as possible. 

“So,” Aldon’s deep voice had a tinge of a French accent attached to it. He looked up and down over my body looking very unimpressed at what he saw. “You’re the mutant girl. Please, get rid of those cuffs. You aren’t fooling anybody with keeping them on.”

It was a taunt for me to use my power openly. I had to play his game so I twisted my fingers so I was touching the cold metal. The cuffs iced over and shattered off my wrists a second later. I flicked the cold ice crystals off my hands, keeping a bored expression on my face. Aldon’s face twisted into an amused smirk as he watched me. 

“Impressive, Kari isn’t it?” Aldon said casually. “I’ve heard a lot about you from your friends we captured. You certainly made fools of some of my men. Some of the best mercenaries money could buy and you fucked them up rather spectacularly.”

“I do aim to impress,” I said, the cocky smile on my own face wasn’t forced at all. So Aldon wanted to chat. This I could work with. “And my aim is impeccable. I know I don’t look like much, but I’m pretty sure my kill count was heading up around the fifty mark by the time your mercenaries learned to hide better. Your marksman was fucking terrible at hiding too.”

Aldon let out a short laugh, shaking his head.

“Clever girl.” Aldon’s teeth flashed as he smiled at me. If he wasn’t a complete psychopath, I’d almost find him attractive. His face turned stony in a flash as he stalked towards me. He stopped an inch away from my face. I forced myself to stand my ground and not take a step backward. I couldn’t show any sign of weakness here. “What do you want?”

“I know when I’m on the losing side,” I lied easily, letting a flirty smile slip onto my lips. I really hoped Aldon was going to be distracted by my pretty smile. If only Natasha had come here with Jared. She could have easily distracted him in her flawless Black Widow persona. “They are pretty fucked back there.”

“Mmmhmm.” Aldon stony facade slipped away in my bold move. “What makes you think I’d want you?”

“You’ve seen what I can do,” I said easily. There was no need to be smug about it. I looked up at Aldon from underneath my lashes, trying to appear as sincere as possible. “I never wanted to join SHIELD. It was that or die. I’ve been trying to find a way out ever since it happened. Can you help me?”

A damsel in distress routine wasn’t going to work here. But if I could convince Aldon I needed something, and badly, it gave him the upper hand to think he could hold some power over me. 

“Matib.” Aldon abruptly stepped back from me and called out loudly. “Bring the mouthy one in here.”

A second later, a black-clad figure was shoved through the door. The guard must have been waiting for this. The guard himself was a huge guy brandishing a wicked looking machete. I glanced back at whoever it was climbed to his knees. It was Cobb. He’d been roughed up a lot. He had two black eyes, a swollen nose, and his right shoulder was hanging down a few inches lower than it should. Cobb looked up at me, scowling as he saw who it was. Out of habit, I scowled straight back at him.

“You.” Aldon marched over to where Cobb was. Aldon’s hand lashed out and he wrapped a hand around Cobb’s throat. Cobb instantly stilled underneath his touch. “Tell me about this woman.”

“She’s one of Hawkeye’s sluts,” Cobb scoffed. “Got tangled up with some shit to do with killing someone with her powers. Sleeps her way to better things in life.”

Of all the people Aldon dragged in, I was very grateful it was Cobb. The man hated me and Aldon didn’t need to use his powers to get that kind of reaction out of him. I stood there with a passive look on my face. Cobb's hatred of me could work to my advantage. 

“Really?” Aldon glanced back at me, the easy smirk back on his face. “Tell me, do you think she’d betray SHIELD for a better opportunity?”

“At the first chance she could,” Cobb said without hesitation. 

“Very good,” Aldon used a tone like he was praising a small child. “Do you think you could kill her for me?”

A pit of dread formed in my stomach as I watched the scene in front of me. This wasn’t going the way I wanted it to. Even if Cobb forced my hand, I wouldn’t be able to kill him. My plan would fall apart in an instant. 

“I wouldn’t stand a chance,” Cobb’s eyes slid over to me. “She’d kill me in about three moves on a bad day. As much as I hate the slut, she’s deadly and one of the best shots I’ve ever seen in my life. I respect her for that if nothing else.”

Respect I could live with. When we got out of here I might start cutting Cobb a little bit of slack. I was an antagonizing bitch to him all the time. If he could still respect me after the shit I constantly gave him, I could start being civil. He’s given me the perfect opening to make this about sex. I wouldn’t have any problems luring Aldon into my plan now.

“How sweet.”

Aldon moved so quickly I barely saw him pull out the knife and stab Cobb in the chest. I tried not to let the horror show on my face as Cobb’s breath left him in an audible rush. Aldon let go of his throat and shoved Cobb backward, the knife still sticking out of his chest. I faked a look of indifference as I stared at Cobb on the floor. He wasn’t dead. The wheezing and bubbling sounds coming from him were horrible. Cobb’s legs kicked out weakly like he was trying to gain some traction to get up. His body wouldn’t let him. I was going to have to stand here and watch him die.

“You know, I’m not even sure some of my men could stand there like that and watch a man choke to death on his own blood,” Aldon said, striding back over towards me. “Even the Red Room bitch had the good sense to keep her distance after I showed her what I can do.”

“What can I say, I hate that asshole. He made my life hell.” I kept my face impassive and gestured towards Cobb. “I’ll happily watch him choke to death. The longer the better.”

Aldon stopped in front of me, the terrifying smirk was back on his face. I forced myself to smile at him. I had to end this quickly if there was going to be any hope to save Cobb. I started to unbutton my shirt, taking as much time as I dared to draw his eyes down to it. 

“In the meantime.” I let the promise hang in the air as I popped open the first button on my shirt. I had a tank top on underneath that gave me some modesty. “Maybe we can get to know each other a little better?”

Aldon’s eyes were on my fingers undoing the buttons.The only movement he made was to flick his head in dismissal to the man who brought Cobb in. The door open and closed quickly, leaving only the sounds of Cobb’s labored breathing in the room. I had to look at Aldon and try and block Cobb out. 

“Three months of nothing but men following you everywhere must be very lonely,” I said in my best seductive voice, undoing my second button. “When was the last time you had a willing woman?”

Aldon stepped forward and grabbed my shirt. He gave it a hard yank, sending buttons flying off everywhere. He roughly yanked the shirt off my arms and threw it to the side. As much as I wanted to dodge him, I let him lean forward and crush his lips against mine.

Bile rose up my throat and I forced myself not to stiffen against him and to return the sloppy kiss. He was so distracted I didn’t even fell him use his power on me. His hands groped blindly on my body as he pushed us backward. When he groped my breast, I could stop the shudder going through my body. It definitely wasn’t in pleasure. He took it as something else. He groaned against my lips, pushing his hips into mine. I could feel his erection rubbing against my pants, making the bile rise even further. His mouth finally left mine as he latched onto my neck, leaving a brutal bite mark. His hands wandered down to the bottom of my tank top, tugging at the material trying to get it out of my pants.

I reached up, wrapping my arms around his neck like I was encouraging his ministrations. He was so distracted trying to get my shirt out of my pants I had the perfect opportunity to end this. I placed one hand on the side of his head and closed my eyes, feeling the power tingle only fingers. Before Aldon could react, I sent the ice coursing through his body. He stiffened, his body falling on mine as let my power froze every available moisture source in his body. He didn’t even get time to react it was happening.

For good measure, I grabbed his head and gave it a sharp twist. His frozen head snapped to the opposite side of his body at an awkward angle. There was no coming back from that. I pushed his body off mine, not feeling any emotion as his lifeless body fell to the floor with a thunk. I kicked the body for good measure. One less piece of shit in the world.

Wheezing breathing brought my attention the other person in the room. I ran over to Cobb and knelt down beside him. Fuck, this was bad. The knife had gone all the way through. Aldon had purposely missed his heart to prolong his suffering. Cobb was red in the face and shivering violently. 

“Hey.” I reached over and put a hand on his cheek, gently turning his head so he was facing me. He really didn’t look great. “We have to go. Can you sit?”

Cobb nodded, bracing himself as I grabbed him by the arm and hauled him into a sitting position. His hand went to the knife still sticking out of his chest.

“Don’t.” I grabbed his hand and pushed it down. “It could be plugging something important. I know it hurts but leave it. Okay?”

Cob nodded again, his breath coming in wheezing pants as I patted him on the back. There was little I could do to reassure him right now. Our situation was shit. I couldn’t stay here in case one of the guards opened the door. Moving Cobb was going to hurt him a lot. There’s no way I’d be able to carry him either. I didn’t have the strength left in me. 

“I’m going to help you, but you’re going to have to get on your feet.” I crouched down in front of Cobb. “We need to get out of here. Evans has ordered an airstrike. They won’t be far away.”

The sound of gunfire and shouting made both of our heads snap to the door. I felt a flash of panic that was definitely not mine cross my mind. Over the noise, I heard the word mutant and teleport yelled. We were out of time. Jared had been spotted. 

“Up,” I commanded, all but dragging Cobb to his feet. He grunted in pain, leaning against my heavily. He staggered into me, sending us both to our knees. In that moment, the door swung open. I barely had time to grab Cobb and make us go invisible before the man from before, Matib, spotted us.

“Aldon,” Matib started into the room, stopping dead in his tracks when he saw Aldon on the floor. The string of curses he let off wasn’t in any language I knew. In his moment of staring at the scene in front of him, I dragged Cobb back to our feet and started to walk to the door. Matib had closed it on his way in so I was going to have to wait for him to exit again.

My grip on him slipped after the first two steps. I struggled to gain any traction on his falling body. The timing was terrible, I hit the handle of the knife stuck in his lung in my attempt to grab him. Cobb did his best to stop the strangled groan but it was audible even over the noise from outside.

I let go of the invisibility and let Cobb fall. I’d apologize to him later for the rough landing but I needed both hands to fend off our attack. Matib growled, raising his machete as he came at me. The machete came down in an arcing sweep, narrowly missing gutting me. I didn’t doubt it was sharp as hell and he could probably easily hack me to pieces with it.

“Just because he’s dead doesn’t mean we won’t kill every single one of you,” Matib sneered at me. His English was clunky and the words were heavy on his thick accent. He said something else in a language I didn’t know. The intent was very clear. He was going to kill me.

Unluckily for him, I fought against big guys a lot. I was fast as hell and there’s no way I was going to let him catch me.

He came at me again with the same move as before. This time it was easy to dodge around it and watch him carefully for an opening. He had the reach advantage with his weapon and height over me. I was going to have to get behind him and use my power again. He swung at me wildly and I took my chance. I ducked and rolled towards him. As I rolled, I felt something miss me by the barest of margins. I ignored whatever it was and sprung at Matib. All I took was me digging my hand into his bare arm and I let go of my power. It was scarily easy this time. The ice shot across his arm and with a yell, Matib tried to wrestle away from me. I’d grabbed his free arm and he swung wildly with his machete. I twisted as much as I could while I still hung onto his arm but I was too close. The machete caught me in the hip and I manage to twist away to stop it impaling me completely. The tip of it cut into my skin across my hip and upwards to my ribs. I barely felt it. I only knew it happened because I saw the blade. It was the last time Matib moved. The cryokinesis took over his entire body a second later, leaving nothing but a frozen solid lump of human flesh. 

There was no time to waste. I ran back to Cobb and hauled him back upright. In the short fight, Cobb’s breathing was sounding a lot worse. There was a terrible hissing sound coming from his chest every time he tried to exhale. I pushed it from my mind and focused on one thing. Getting the fuck out of here before we got blown up. Despite my earlier bravado, I really didn’t want to be blown up in an airstrike. Cobb was so unsteady on his feet, he had nearly his entire weight leaning on me. 

I carried Barton all the way from the Quinjet. I could deal with Cobb leaning on me. I gritted my teeth and ignored my protesting body. I took the first step and then the next. As soon as I reached the door, I went invisible and swung it open.

It was chaos out here. Men were running back and forth yelling at each other. I could hear gunfire up close and in the distance. There was a hell of a firefight going on somewhere close by. I hoped our side were winning. In all of the mess of people, it was easy to slip back into the night air completely unnoticed. 

Along with the gunfire, there was a distinct rumble coming from a distance. I’d lost track of all time in the building. But it was pretty clear we had approaching air support and they would be less than a minute away. 

“Motherfucker,” I swore and dragged Cobb along as fast as he legs could manage. There was so much noise going on around me, no one would have noticed me swearing. I managed to get us as far as one of the tiny mud huts before Cobb collapsed again. The roar of approaching jets was louder now. I was out of time.

I grabbed Cobb by his shirt and dragged him inside. I collapsed next to him, wincing at the new pain spanning from my hip and up my ribcage. I put my hand on it, rather uselessly, to stem the bleeding. At least in the dark, no one would be able to see the trail of blood I’d left on the ground.

“I’m sorry,” Cobb’s voice cracked as he spoke. I could barely see him in the dark but I crawled over to him, leaning over his body. I took one of his hands and gave it a weak squeeze. Cobb’s breathing was coming out even worse now. I’d run out of time.

“Don’t apologize, I fully expect you to keep being an asshole to me when we get home.” The bright enthusiasm in my voice was very forced. “I know I’m a bitch to you.”

It wasn’t just Cobb’s attitude that made me on my worst behavior towards him. I’d never admitted it to anyone but it hurt seeing someone else in Riley’s position day in and day out. No matter who it was, they would never be as good as Riley in my eyes. I took out that frustration on Cobb at every single opportunity I could. 

“Really do respect you,” Cobb’s voice pitched up and down as he struggled to get enough air into his body. 

“You’re not such a bad shot yourself.” Even in the dire circumstance, I felt one side of my mouth tug up in the resemblance of a smile “It’s kind of hard to shine when we both have Barton to contend with. He’s a bit of a spotlight hog.”

That earned me a strained chuckle from Cobb. The sound of approaching jets were nearly on top of us now. I gave his hand one last squeeze and put my own hands up, ready for something I’m not sure I could protect us from. Even the thickest ice shield wasn’t going to protect us from the Small Diameter Bombs that F-22’s carried for air to surface weapons. I closed my eyes and let out a long steady breath. Even if I died now, I’d done well. The rest of the teams would be able to get home now. Clint would be able to go home to his kids. Natasha would be able to see Sam again. I was at peace with my decision to protect everyone else.

The ground shook and I braced myself for the resulting explosion. At least this would be quick. I felt Cobb reach over and grab the only part of me he could reach, my leg. Before I could push my power out, the world dropped out from underneath me. I felt like I was being thrown around in a spin cycle of the universe. A heartbeat later, I landed on a hard floor sprawled out on my stomach. It was a good thing because I promptly threw up the chocolate from before.

“Spit it up,” Jared’s voice cut through the ringing in my ears. My messy hair was pulled away from my face and Jared was rubbing circles on my back “That was rough, I’m sorry. I got you.”

Jared had me. I was alive. Holy fuck we’d made it out. We were going to go home. 

Despite my shaking body, I pushed myself up and threw myself into’s Jared’s arms. For the first time during this mission, I couldn’t swallow the lump in my throat away. Tears of utter relief leaked from the corners of my eyes before I could stop them.

We were going home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this turned into a massive chapter that I really had to break up. I'm sorry for the delay everyone. I meant to have it out earlier this week but I lost my old horse on Monday night. I'd had him for 18 years and I'm still devastated. It really knocked every single bit on inspiration out of me for a few days. 
> 
> Lots happening! Lots more to happen. Thank you for much for your comments and kudos. It makes me so happy to get them and keeps me inspired to write.


	76. Chapter 76

I was so exhausted I barely noticed the time passing until the distinctive sound of Chinook helicopters filled the air. It couldn’t have been long, people were still hovering over Cobb and Jared was still pressing something against the long gash on my side. I could still feel blood dripping from it no matter the pressure being kept on it. Everything else I was feeling completely detached from. It hard to believe I was still alive. I was starting to run out of lives.

“You right for a few minutes?” Jared asked, breaking through the fog of my brain.

I nodded, shifting to a more comfortable position. There really wasn’t one right now but not having my leg bent at an awkward angle was slightly better. I moved so I was holding the what I found to be someones shirt pressed to my side. I wasn’t game to look at it quite yet. I could feel how big the wound was. It was going to leave one hell of a scar. Pressing the shirt against my side brought a few bout of pain. The pain was good. It was grounding. It gave me something to realise I was still here.

“Hey.” Wilkerson’s filthy face floated in front of mine, making me blink in surprise. Jared was only there a few seconds ago and the change was too abrupt for my exhausted mind to follow. “Let me have a look at that.”

“It’s a scratch.” My brain was working enough to brush him off easily. “Worry about Cobb.”

“Cobb’s dead, Kari,” Wilkerson said gently. He didn’t take my dismissal and started to gently peel the shirt away from my shaking hands. “I’d rather not see you bleed out here.”

I looked over to where Cobb landed when we teleported back. He’d been alive the second before we got out of there. Now his body was still and one of the Alpha team guys was draping a sheet over him. I thought I’d saved him. As much as I hated him, I didn’t want to see him dead either. I was so numb my body didn’t react at all. The only thing I could do is sit there and stare at the lifeless body.

“You did everything you could,” Wilkerson’s voice reached through my mental fog. He gave my shoulder a small squeeze. “Come on, shirt off.”

Wilkerson tugging on the bottom of the shirt to get it off sent me back to a place I hoped I could forget in a hurry. Instead of Wilkerson trying to get my shirt off, I was back in the room with Aldon. The fresh sting of pain was the only thing that stopped me from reacting.

“Don’t.”

The one word through gritted teeth made Wilkerson stop instantly. He had the good sense to back off and give me some much needed room. I took in a few deep breaths, each of them shuddering as they left my body. The pain was almost too much for me to bear as I struggled to get the now ruined tank top off. It was barely holding together anyway. The slice of the machete had even ruined the bottom of my sports bra. For once I was glad of my flat chest and that I didn’t really need the bra anyway.

“Take your time.” Wilkerson kept his distance, crouching down at my height. “The less you disturb it the better.”

There was no way I was getting the shirt over my head without help. The sensible thing would be to let Wilkerson help me. Right now I couldn’t bring myself to let anyone touch me. It was too raw what I’d done with Aldon. I didn’t have anything left in me to freeze the sweat soaked material either. I was going to have to struggle on my own. I barely managed to get it untucked from my pants before Jared reappeared, scowling at Wilkerson.

“You couldn’t fucking help?” Jared snarled at me, bending down as he yanked the shirt off over my head in one swift movement. It was so quick I barely noticed it. “Your boyfriend isn’t that insecure he’d care about you touching a girl.”

That made me laugh weakly. It made everything on my body ache so it was short lived. I’d met Wilkerson’s boyfriend who was a very big, beefy guy who worked for the Secret Service. I doubted either Wilkerson or his boyfriend knew the meaning of the word insecure. 

“She didn’t want me to touch her,” Wilkerson snapped back, not taking any shit from Jared. “Since you’re here, you can fucking help.”

Jared shot a questioning look at me. The anger dropping from his posture immediately and he looked worried. Instead of meeting his worried gaze, I looked down to the mess of my body. The machete had sliced me from my right hip and thanks to me twisting to avoid it, it curved all the way up my side and ended on my back at my last rib. The gaping wound was an inch wide and I could see muscle. I was lucky I’d avoided it. If I hadn’t, the machete would have gone straight through my body. The motion of Jared yanking my shirt off disturbed the wound and it started to bleed freely again. It wasn’t gushing blood but with the length of the wound, it was making quite the mess. 

“Fuck it, let's get it bandaged up and get her on the Chinook. I can’t deal with that here.” Wilkerson didn’t bother to ask for my opinion. “Take this.”

Jared took the offered dressing and started to stick them over the wound. The Celox on the dressing made it burn with enough intensity to bring tears to my eyes. The good thing was, I was in too much pain to argue about it. I felt like a mummy by the time they wound me up in bandages. 

“We’ve got guys coming in to help move the wounded,” Jared told me as he finished taping down the last bandage. Wilkerson moved out of the way, seemingly knowing he wasn’t going to be involved in this conversation. “Barton has been rocky again so you’re going to go with him to keep him settled, okay?”

I could see through the facade right away. This was so I wouldn’t argue about being on the first one out. I don’t think I had to strength to argue with him anyway. I nodded my consent as I picked up my discarded tank top. As much as it was ruined, it gave me some kind of modesty instead of sitting here in a bra and torso full of bandages. Jared helped me ease the shirt back over my head and down over my body. 

Jared got to his feet and offered me his hand. 

“I honestly don’t think I can get up,” I said tiredly. Every fiber of my being ached. I had used every last bit of energy I had in me on my last mad dash. I had no idea what the time was but I’m pretty sure I’d been awake for over 24 hours now, possibly longer. Time didn’t feel relevant anymore. Maybe sleeping in the Quinjet would have been a really good idea. 

“Sure you can,” Jared said smoothly. He bent down beside me and grabbed both of my arms, locking his hands around my wrists. “On the count of three.”

I braced myself and let Jared haul me up as soon as he got to three. My back protested at the movement. My legs shook nearly uncontrollably as I felt myself pitch forward. Jared was right there in front of me to keep me steady and on two feet. 

“I’ve got you.” Jared’s easy facade cracked as I collapsed into his waiting arms. Jared hugged me as tightly as my broken body would allow. “Can I put this towards my payback for Pripyat?”

A breathless chuckle escaped me as I shook my head. Jared grinned in response and tightened his hold on me. 

“Come on.”

I was too tired to protest at the teleport I knew was coming. I closed my eyes and didn’t fight it. Unlike before, this one was perfectly smooth. One moment we were in the house and the next out in the open space. I still felt sweaty so the cold air was making it even worse. The noise of the Chinook’s were deafening out here. Two armed men were standing at the door but otherwise, there was no one else. They were in fatigues instead of SHIELD uniforms.

“This is a black ops team called Cerberus,” Jared raised his voice so he could be heard over the noise. “I’ve done work with them before. They were the closest to us and are going to fly us back to Camp Cooke.”

I nodded tiredly, leaning more and more on Jared with every word he spoke. Jared treated me like I was made of glass as he helped me into the helicopter. I eased down into the seat and Jared pulled his jacket off and zipped me up in it. He then buckled me in, making me feel like a small child. I wanted to protest but there was nothing left in me for anything. Once he was done, Jared sat next to me and took my uninjured hand in his.

Neither of us spoke. Men soon appeared with stretcher bearing the wounded. Sam and Clint were amongst the first ones to arrive. It was amazing how efficient these guys were. We were full and ready to go in under five minutes. As soon as the last person as in, Jared got up and gave my hand another squeeze. 

“I’ll meet you back there, okay? But if you need me I’ll come straight back.”

I nodded again. There wasn’t anything else to say. Jared was going to be helping tie up all the loose ends. This was going to be a clusterfuck and a half to sort out. There were so many questions that needed to be answered. Now that Aldon and the majority of his army were dead, there wasn’t going to be anyone to answer them. Jared was gone the next second. As soon as he was gone, one of the Cerberus men sat in his seat, shooting me a smile. 

For the first time in hours, there was nothing for me to do. Jared had strapped me tightly and I doubted my still shaking hands would be able to handle the buckles right now. I was so bone tired that my fear of flying hadn’t made an appearance yet. I sat back as far as I could, closing my eyes while the Chinook’s engines rumbled to life. Something tapped me on the shoulder, making me reluctantly open my stinging eyes. It was the guy next to me, tapping my shoulder with a set of headphones. I took them from him, putting them over my ears. I was still half deaf from shooting all day with no hearing protection so the noise of the Chinook wasn’t bothering me. That probably wasn’t a great thing. The headphones crackled to life in my ears.

“If you need anything, I’m Lieutenant Russo and that’s Lieutenant Castle,” Russo pointed to a guy directly across from me who gave me a friendly wave. “Agent?”

“Lyngley.” Even talking was exhausting. “Kari, the better looking twin.”

That earned me a round of laughter from the few men in the Chinook. I closed my eyes again, leaning my head back. Fuck me, everything hurt so badly now. I should have pestered Jared for some of the Percocet he’d given Evans earlier. 

I barely noticed the Chinook taking off. The flight was nothing but a blur to me. I wasn’t asleep, there was too much pain to allow me to properly nod off. Conversations drifted around me, nothing needing my participation so I tuned out. Despite Jared telling me I needed to be there with Clint, I wouldn’t have known if anything had happened to him during the flight. My brain only started to work when we touched down with a thump.

It was odd landing at Camp Cooke and being more aware of what was going on around me. I barely remembered landing last time, I was so wrapped up in my own grief. We had a small horde of people waiting for us. I hung back as they got the critically injured off the Chinook first. It wasn’t until they got to Clint stretcher did I finally make my move. I don’t know how my fingers managed to unbuckle myself, but I was out and walking next to him with the medics. Deep down somewhere in the last of my reserves came a small spurt of energy.

“He’s been unconscious since we crashed yesterday,” I raised my voice to be heard over the noise of everything. “I didn’t see what happened, I was unconscious as well.”

I’m pretty sure I still had a big trail of blood down my face from where I hit my head. It was a minor inconvenience considering next to my other injuries right now. I didn’t need a mirror to tell me I looked like a mess. I would happily give my soul for a hot bubble bath and a really big bottle of scotch right now. Besides a glance at me when I spoke, no one paid attention to me as we rushed along. Everyone was too busy taking observations on Clint, doing various techniques to try and get a response out of him. When he groaned and half stirred with a sternal rub, I’d never been relieved in my life. I reached over to grab his leg in a small show of support when chaos erupted.

Clint started to thrash against the people poking and prodding him. One of the medics wasn’t quick enough to get out of the way and got punched in the face. I only narrowed avoided getting a fist in the face again as I rushed to his head.

“Clint.” I ignored every ache and pain and vaulted onto the stretcher, pinning him down like I did before. I wasn’t quick enough to get him pinned down entirely A fist came in contact with my injured side making me see stars. I could feel blood leaking through the dressing nearly instantly at the heavy contact. Every bit of breath was forced out of me but I pushed myself to concentrate. The cold of my power against his face worked before, I hoped it would again. I managed to get his face between my hands and a small layer of ice covering my palms. 

Like before, Clint stilled against the freezing touch. I leant forward, touching my forehead against his trying to calm my racing heart down. Nothing else existed around us. All I could feel was the cold of my hands against his far too warm skin. I could feel Clint’s own ragged breathing as he struggled against whatever nightmares he was fighting.

“Kari?”

Clint’s voice surprised me so much I nearly fell off the stretcher. It was only one of the medics keeping me steady that saved me from a trip to the ground.

“Hi.” I pulled back so Clint could see me, signing the simple word as I spoke. 

His eyes were open and he was blinking rapidly. I’d never been so glad to see those sharp blue eyes open. As Clint’s eyes focused, a flash of panic crossed his face and he struggled underneath me. 

“EPM.” It took me forever to sign the letters out, my own fuzzy memory making it harder than it should be. Clint blinked again, frowning heavily at me. It didn’t last, only a few seconds later a spasm of pain crossed his face and he closed his eyes again. His hand tapped against my leg that was keeping him pinned down. I shifted it so he could move it as requested. His hand groped around, feeling for something. I quickly got the hint and grabbed his hand, lacing his fingers through mine. It was the right thing to do. His hand squeezed mine before going lax.

We’d stopped during Clint’s violent explosion. Once he was calm again, the stretcher started moving. No one was telling me to get off, so I stayed there straddling Clint. I let my head fall in the crook of his shoulder and took in a few deep breaths as we moved along faster than before. It wasn’t until we were deep into the building that an unfamiliar voice cut through my mostly silent thoughts.

“I’m sorry Ma’am, but you’ll need to get off now. We have to take him for an urgent CT scan.”

I pushed myself up, nodding at the request. My legs decided not to work as I got off Clint, leaving me in a tangled mess on the ground. That instantly got the attention of the people gathered around Clint.

“I’m fine,” I said, waving them off. “Sniper, stayed in the one position far too long. Legs don’t want to work after being cramped up for 20 hours.”

Natasha would have been proud of my easy lie. It satisfied the medical people in front of me and within seconds they were gone. I pushed myself up against the wall closest to me and let out a long shaking breath. It was a good thing Jared’s jacket was black, I was about to ruin it with the blood soaking into it. My breath came in shorter pants as I tried to ease myself into a comfortable position. Not only was I bleeding, my back had finally decided to give up playing nice. The muscles that had been twitching had been easy to ignore. The full spasms running up and down my spine weren’t so easy to ignore. I don’t know how long I sat there, gritting my teeth trying to ride it out. I started to feel lightheaded not too long after my back started to spasm. There was no way I was getting back to my feet to try and find some help.This part of the building seemed deserted so it wasn’t hard to hear the approaching booted footsteps.

I opened my eyes as I felt someone crouch down next to me. Instead of it being a medic or doctor, the man was dressed in a flight suit. My hazy mind took a few seconds too long to place that it was Gareth crouching down next to me. I don’t think I’d ever seen Gareth worried before. Right now, he looked on the verge of mild panic.

“Have you seen a doctor?” Gareth’s voice was higher than normal. If I wasn’t feeling ready to pass out, I might have laughed. As it was, I could only shake my head.

“Came in with Barton.” I had to close my eyes again. The room was spinning. “He was knocked unconscious and he took priority. M’fine.”

“Oh yeah, you look fucking awesome,” Gareth’s sarcasm did nothing to hide the worry in his voice. It did make my lips tug up into a small smile. “Stay here.”

“Couldn’t move if I tried.” To prove my words, my back decided to spasm again. My entire body went rigid as the muscles contracted in ways they weren’t meant to. I brought my hand up to my side in a vain attempt to try and keep the pressure on my wound. It only covered my hand with blood. 

Everything started to blur together. I vaguely felt Jared teleporting in front of me. I could hear his voice but all the words were mixing together, leaving me with nothing but muffled sounds in my head. Someone must got help because the next thing I knew was there were hands on my body pulling the clothes away from my body.

That gave me a surge of adrenaline to fight against the wandering hands. It was Aldon all over again and my mind wouldn’t let me have enough focus to fight him off. My limbs struggled to cooperate as I fought like a cornered tiger against the unwanted touch on my body. Then it all stopped. Everything went blank and I let myself fall into the blissful unawareness. 

When I woke up again it took forever for my body to have the energy to open my eyes. I felt like I was in a haze. It was becoming an unfortunately familiar feeling. It wasn't unlike when I woke up from surgery after Pripyat. The only good thing about it that everything was blissfully numb. I was also desperately thirsty.

“Good morning.”

It was Jared’s voice. The sarcastically happy tone made me open my eyes, blinking up at the ceiling. With a lot of effort, I turned my head so I was facing the direction my twin’s voice had come from. He was sitting in a hospital chair next to me. Wordlessly, he held a cup with a straw up to my lips. 

“Slowly, otherwise you’ll puke everywhere,” Jared warned me. His face softened considerably as he looked me up and down. “How are you feeling?”

“High as a kite.” I took the offered straw and sipped slowly. The cool water was better than anything I’d ever tasted. It was very awkward being flat on my back. At the moment I was too thirsty to care. Despite Jared’s warning, I drank the cup dry in a few seconds.

“The amount of midazolam they pumped into you would even make me high,” Jared said with a small chuckle. “Not to mention all the drugs you’re on. Do you want to sit up?”

I nodded my consent. Jared took the bed controls and lifted me into a sitting position. My side tugged uncomfortably with the feel of stitches holding me together but everything else mercifully didn’t ache. My left hand was bandaged and I could feel another bandage around the bullet graze on my thigh. I was still attached to an IV in one arm and the other had a blood transfusion running. 

“Beyond a few thousand stitches and a cracked rib, you don’t have any lasting damage,” Jared answered my question before I could voice it. “You passed out from minor blood loss and dehydration, nothing sinister. You’ve only been out for a few hours. When you’re a little more with it, I’ll take you to Landstuhl. It’s where Barton got transferred to.”

“How’s Barton?” My mouth still felt dry and fuzzy. 

“He fractured his skull and has some very minor bruising on his brain.” Jared poured me another cup of water while he spoke. “Last time I was there, he’d been awake on and off. He’s confused and doesn’t remember anything from the last week. There shouldn’t be any lasting damage. Natasha and Coulson will only be an hour or so away from him now. I’d like to avoid Natasha as much as humanly possibly right now.”

“Did you leave Natasha behind?” Even in my drug haze, I caught onto what Jared was saying right away. I had been too relieved to see Jared and then caught up with arguing about my plan to really think about why Natasha wasn’t there. I had no doubt Jared would have to watch his back for the next few months if he’d left her behind on purpose.

“No, I simply didn’t wait for Coulson to get permission for her to come with me,” Jared said defensively. “There’s a difference.”

I could only chuckle wearily as I took another drink. Whatever drugs I was only made me feel very fuzzy. I knew I’d only have a few more minutes of coherent thought before I fell asleep again.

“Everyone else?”

Despite my lack of articulation, Jared knew exactly what I was talking about. I took a long drink of water while he started to talk.

“Sam has a shattered humerus and a lot of damage in his shoulder. The bullet that hit him did some ricocheting off the bone,” Jared said with a visible flinch. “He was being prepped for surgery when I last heard, which was a few hours ago. He’ll live, but with what damage, no one knows yet.”

Poor Sam. I didn’t have time to dwell on the news, Jared kept going with the news.

“Evans broke his ankle. He’s hobbling around here snarling at anyone who comes too close. I threw a cell at him in the hopes Abby can calm him down a little,” Jared continued. The mental image of that made me smile. “Tex has a torn rotator cuff, broken wrist and a lot of dislocated fingers. He wouldn’t say much but its pretty clear someone did it to him.”

Someone certainly had a sadistic streak. With Aldon’s powers, there was no need to torture anyone for information. Judging by the men with him, I had little doubt Tex’s injuries were done for someone's amusement and nothing else.

“Most of the guys I pulled out were pretty banged up,” Jared halted in his explanation. The look on his face told me I wasn’t going to like what he had to say next. “Marks didn’t make it.”

A lump formed in my throat as the news hit me. Like all of Bravo team, I got on with Marks well. More so because he and Andy lived in the house Riley brought. Marks and Andy were perfect tenants. Both of them joked about me being their kind and benevolent sugar mama for their rent being so cheap. I’d originally told them not to bother to pay anything, but they had both insisted to give me something for it. Even though I still hadn’t seen the house, I knew it was a big house in a nice area. While STRIKE was well paid, neither of them would have been able to afford the rent on it in normal circumstances.

“He was the last one out because he was the least injured of everyone,” Jared’s voice dropped and he looked away from me. “Someone raised the alarm before I could get back for him. They waited until I got back and shot him in front of me. It’s why I took so long to get to you. I was trying to save him.”

Despite the lump in my throat, I had no tears. I was too physically and emotionally wrung out to feel much right now. I knew it wasn’t healthy and when it all hit me later, it was going to be a mess. All I could do now is take Jared’s hand in mine and give it a squeeze. 

“Who else didn’t make it?” I asked tiredly. I’d heard to KIA count while Evans was on the radio but I didn’t know names.

“The other two pilots, Chase and Wagner,” Jared began. Another pang hit me at one of those names. Wagner had been one of the pilots I’d had while on my flight instructor punishment. I knew they’d both died, the explosion wasn’t survivable. I wasn’t expecting it to be someone I knew. “Jones, Hinksy, Tucker, and Carlyle from Alpha team. Edwards and Glover from Bravo team.”

I closed my eyes, feeling the grief hit me. So many people. I didn’t know the Alpha guys that well but Glover and Edwards were well known to me. Glover and his wife had only had a baby a month ago. Edwards was going through a divorce but had two kids as well. There were going to be far too many funerals over the next few weeks. 

“Try and get some more sleep.” Jared gave my hand a squeeze before letting go. He took the cup out of my hand and laid me back down flat. “You really need it.”

I was too tired to protest. Sleep sounded really good right now. I barely had time to form the last thought before I dropped off again.

I woke up again, feeling a little more coherent. It was still daylight and this time it wasn’t just Jared beside my bed. It was Gareth sitting in the chair on his phone. He hadn’t noticed me awake yet, he was frowning at whatever he was reading on his phone.

“Hi,” I said sleepily, making Gareth jump. He put down his phone and smiled over at me, the relief clear over his face.

“Hey yourself.” Gareth was in his service uniform and looking good, even in my drugged up state. “How do you feel? Jared went to find some food."

“Like a truck hit me,” I said honestly. I winced as I shifted into an upright position. The painkillers must have been wearing off. I could feel a lot more aches and pains this time. Gareth moved to support my slow journey upright. My side ached and every breath reminded me of how painful a fractured rib could be. 

“You look better than I saw you last,” Gareth’s comment was meant to come off as lighthearted, but the haunted look on his face told me otherwise.

Gareth had just gotten an unfortunate glimpse into what my life could be like. It was one thing hearing I was injured. Seeing it first hand wouldn’t have been easy for him. I couldn’t dwell on it for much longer. I knew like the emotional crash of this mission, the talk I knew Gareth and I would end up having wasn’t going to be fun. 

“Any chance you can help me up?” I asked, gingerly swinging my legs over the side of the bed. “I think I finally got enough fluid into me.”

I was busting for the toilet. Judging by the amount of empty IV bags in the bin next to me, it was little wonder I was now desperate to pee. 

“How about I just carry you?” Gareth asked, looking cautious. As I looked at him closer, I could see a faint shadow of a bruise across his jaw. It would be an impressive mark when it finally came out fully. “If that’s all right?”

“Sure, as long as I don’t stink too much,” I tried to keep the conversation light. Inwardly I was cringing at my freak out while I was half conscious. Rumlow had given me shit for months after I broke his nose when I was really rocky under my sedation after Pripyat. There wasn’t going to be an easy way to explain this to Gareth about why I’d freaked out about someone touching me. I really hoped he wouldn’t choose now as a time to push me about something.

Gareth relaxed at my easy acceptance. This time his smile was genuine as he gingerly scooped me up into his arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck and settled against him. He was solid and comforting, both of what I really needed right now. He lifted me easily, no doubt from the extra time in the gym he’d been doing here in his downtime. In the little spare time I had before this mission, I’d been enjoying the view of him flexing those muscles for me.

“Sorry I punched you,” I said quietly as he started to walk to the toilet. “It was a rough mission.”

“You weren’t really with it,” Gareth brushed off my apology. He pressed a quick kiss on my forehead. “Though I am going to say one of the big, burly STRIKE guys did it so I don’t get laughed at. You pack a wallop by the way.”

I chuckled quietly, tightening my hold around Gareth’s neck as he opened the bathroom door. As we got to the toilet, he gently eased me down close enough so I could grab the rail. My legs didn’t want to bear any weight for a few horrible seconds as I straightened up. The stitches on my side felt tight and pulled uncomfortably at the small movement. Gareth was right behind me, keeping a steady grip on my arm as I got my balance. It was a good thing Gareth had seen me naked plenty of times. In the hospital gown, I was certainly giving him a good view of my bare ass hanging out. I was grateful when I finally had the coordination to collapse onto the toilet. Gareth hovered for a moment, looking out of place whether he should stay or not.

“I’ll yell out if I need help,” I reassured him before he could ask. “If you don’t hear from me in five minutes, maybe come back in just in case I passed out.”

Gareth looked worried again at the mention of me passing out. He took it in his stride, giving me a small nod.

“I’ll wait at the door,” Gareth said as he turned around and let me alone.

Even peeing hurt. My back pain made itself known again as I sat there trying to get in a comfortable position. I felt a hundred years old as I pulled myself upright again and hobbled over to the sink. For the first time, I got a look at myself in the mirror. Someone had cleaned me up while I was unconscious, except for my hair. That still had layers of grime and blood through it. My face looked drawn and bright red from sunburn. My lips were dry and cracked, my own jaw was bruised from Clint punching me. It was going to leave a big black bruise. The hospital gown was baggy enough that I could pull it away to see the fist-sized bruise in the crook of my shoulder from the CheyTac. The bruise was going to spread and give me all different colors as it healed. I was a mess. At least I was still alive. It felt good to splash some cold water on my sunburnt face. I was feeling a little more human after patting my face dry. 

Hobbling to the door wasn’t quite as hard as I thought it would be. The walking seemed to be helping to loosen up my tight muscles. As promised, Gareth was waiting for me on the other side of the door. 

“Jared wants to know if you want food,” Gareth asked, holding his phone up to show me the text.

“Please and clothes.” At the mention of food, I was surprisingly hungry. “I don’t want my bare ass hanging out.”

“I’m not complaining,” Gareth said cheekily. “Need a lift back to bed?”

“No, I’ll walk.” To prove my point I started to limp slowly back towards the bed. Gareth stayed behind me until I was sitting on the edge of the bed. Gareth pulled the chair across so he was sitting in front of me looking unsure of himself. “See? Totally got it.”

That got him to smile. Gareth reached up and took my uninjured hand in his. The silence stretched out to the point it almost became uncomfortable.

“I honestly have no idea what to say to you right now,” Gareth said quietly. His eyes went down my legs, no doubt taking stock of the many bruises I knew I had. “Asking if you’re all right is a really stupid question. But I’m here if you want me.”

Gareth always made things easier. I knew if I told him I wanted to be alone right now, he’d back off and give me as much space as I wanted. Him saying me wanting him instead of needing sounded like it was carefully chosen. Gareth never implied I needed him for anything and it was always my choice of what I wanted. Space and alone time were probably going to be my worst enemies right now. Both would give me far too much time to think and dwell on everything.

“Just stay.” I squeezed his hands. “I don’t even know what I want right now. Nothing has processed yet.”

Gareth relaxed, giving my hand the softest squeeze. Looking down at the back of my hand, I could see why he was being so tender. They were sunburnt and I had no skin left on my knuckles. I don’t even remember how I’d lost the skin. My left hand probably looked the same under the layers of bandages. Gareth’s phone buzzed on the table next to us, making both of us jump.

“I’m about to be buried in debriefs for the day,” Gareth said looking over at his phone with a sigh. “I can’t put them off any longer.”

That gave me an answer to if Gareth was one of the pilots doing the air strike. He must have had to call in some very big favors to put his debriefs off for this long. I suppose finding me in a pool of my own blood would have been a good excuse. The OIC here at Camp Cooke was still the same one as when I was over here. The OIC and I had gotten on well so that wouldn’t have hurt for things working in Gareth’s favor. 

“I’m off to Landstuhl as soon as I get cleared from here.” When that would be was anyone’s guess. If I wasn’t feeling so emotionally drained, I’d be disappointed at the short amount of time I got to spend with Gareth. “I’ll see if I can find you before I go.”

“Same room as always for the debrief.” Gareth stood up and pressed a kiss on my forehead. “If you can’t, give me a call when you have five minutes spare.”

The feel of Gareth’s lips against my forehead stirred something in the emotional blackout I was feeling. I wanted more and I wanted to be in control of the situation this time. I caught Gareth by the front of his shirt before he could pull away too far. Before I could overthink it, I pressed my lips to his. Gareth didn’t hesitate in his response, he kissed me back. I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him in closer. Everything about Gareth right now was reassuring. The feel of his lips on mine. The small amount of stubble I could feel from him not shaving this morning. The heady rush of the blood through my body at Gareth’s hands coming down onto my bare legs. The familiar feel of the very specific callous you’d get as a pilot against my smooth skin. Beyond his hands coming to rest on my thighs, he didn’t move any further. I was in full control and it felt good. 

“Ahem.”

The over exaggerated clearing of a throat made Gareth and I jump apart. I didn’t have to look back to know it was Jared. I gave him the finger for interrupting the start of our make-out session. 

“That’s not very nice Kari.” A voice that was definitely not Jared made me want to crawl into a hole and die of embarrassment. It was Mom.

To his credit, Gareth didn’t flinch at the sudden appearance of my Mom. He stood back as Mom came over to my side of the bed. This was about to make him very late to his debrief. He couldn’t disappear now without appearing really rude. 

“Please don’t hug me, I hurt everywhere,” I said quickly before Mom could wrap me in a fierce hug. She stopped herself mid-stride and put her hands on my shoulders instead. I thought she would have been worried to death but all I could see in her expression was pride. She reached up and pushed some of my stray hair behind my ear.

“You hair needs a wash,” Mom said with a smile. “Are you going to introduce me?”

I knew I wouldn’t get off that easily. I gave Mom a pained look, hoping she’d take pity on me and not make this anymore embarrassing than this already was. 

“Gareth Hughes.” Gareth stepped up before I could say anything, offering his hand. “You must be Linda.”

Behind me, I could hear Jared trying to contain his laughter. I was going to punch him in the head l for this as soon as I could lift my arms without them hurting. He’d completely set me up for embarrassment here. 

“Pleasure to finally meet you Gareth,” Mom said smoothly, shaking his offered hand. “Sorry for the interruption, I didn’t realize Kari had company.”

I didn’t miss the knowing look Mom shot at Jared over my shoulder. The muffled laughter from behind me instantly stopped. Sucked in Jared. Mom was going to take my side on this.

“It’s fine,” Gareth said with an easy smile. “I do have to get going for my long boring day of debriefing ’s though. It was nice to meet you as well Linda.”

Gareth stepped forward and placed a brief kiss on my forehead again.

“Have fun,” I said with a wrinkled nose. Real mission debriefs could be painfully boring at the best of times. “I’ll let you know what’s happening.”

“Talk to you later.”

Gareth turned and left the room. There was a brief scuffle behind me that I was too sore to turn around and see. No doubt Jared being an asshole to Gareth, simply because he could. The door clicked shut quietly a few seconds after the scuffle.

“You do enjoy a handsome man in uniform, don’t you?” Mom teased me gently as soon as the door was shut. The humor fell away from her face quickly as she looked at me. “Has anyone been in to see you since you woke up?”

“No, I think I scared all the doctors away.” I shifted my position with a wince. “I could really do with some more drugs though.”

“I’ll go get someone,” Jared’s voice came from behind me. Something got placed on the bed next to me. “Clothes and food.”

I wasn’t hungry. Whatever Jared had in the bag smelled good though. It was enough temptation to make me peek in the food bag first. It was pasta with a creamy looking sauce and something else that smelt like fresh bread and garlic. I was torn between wanting clean clothes and food. I thought my stomach would have been a knot of stress. But the smell of the pasta made my stomach growl.

“Do you want help in getting dressed?” Mom asked as I sat there trying to decide what to do. The need to not have my ass hanging out of a hospital gown and into my own clothes won over my desire for food. 

The stubborn part of me was ready to refuse the offer of help right away. But the uncomfortable pull of stitches on my side at the small movement of opening the bag was enough to change my mind. I was in no state to try and do a simple task for myself. 

“Yes, please,” I said, trying not to let my frustration show. It was Pripyat all over again with not being able to do simple tasks for myself. 

Mom was quiet as she stood up and pulled my clothes out. Jared had done well to bring the most comfortable sweatpants I owned along with one of my favorite t-shirts. As weird as it was that my brother packed my underwear, he’d gone for everything that looked comfortable. The last thing Mom pulled out was one of Riley’s hoodies. I looked at the well-worn sweater feeling something start to nag at me. Something that was going to involve a lot of emotions I wasn’t ready for right now. 

“Here.” Mom broke through my thoughts as she picked up the t-shirt. “Let's get you changed.”

Mom helped me out of the hospital gown and I got a good look at machete gash on my side. It was red and irritated, some of the edges were already purple from bruising. The blue stitches were a stark constant on my pale skin. Whoever had sewn me back together had done a neat job of it at least. It was still going to be a huge scar. Besides the gash, I was covered in multiple bruises all over my torso. Along with the bruise from the CheyTac, there was bruising coming out from the harness in the Quinjet. The thick lines ran from my shoulders and down my chest. 

It was an awkward struggle getting my t-shirt on. There was no point trying for a bra with the amount of bruising I had on my shoulders and chest. At least the sweatpants were easier. The bullet graze on my thigh, while heavily bandaged, wasn’t impeding my movement too much. Mom was right, as always, I felt human again after getting into my own clothes. I picked up the container of pasta, greedily inhaling the amazing smell of it. My stomach growled more persistently this time, making me pick up the fork as dig into it. I didn’t miss the relieved look crossing Mom’s face as I started to eat. It was one less thing she’d have to argue with me about.

“Where’s Dad?” I asked around a mouthful of food. 

“The cleanup crew found some advanced technology that survived the air strike,” Mom explained, leaning back in her chair. “He’s analyzing it now but he promised he’d be here in a second if you wanted him to be.”

I shook my head at the offer. I’d like to know how a man of Aldon’s means managed to find an EPM strong enough to drop a Quinjet out of the sky. Dad was one of the brightest minds in SHIELD. If he couldn’t work it out, there’s little chance anyone else could either. 

“Coulson and Natasha are with Barton,” Mom kept talking while I ate. “I spoke to Coulson just before I walked in here. Barton has been awake a bit more now. He still doesn’t remember anything from the last week. The doctors are doubtful he’ll regain the memory either. He knocked his head very hard, he’s lucky he doesn’t have any permanent damage.”

I stopped mid-chew as the guilt hit me. The amount of jostling I had to do to get Clint to safety probably didn’t help him. I could have caused a lot of damage.

“Kari, don’t.” Mom stopped that train of thought instantly. “You saved his life. He’ll have a headache for a few weeks but I’m sure he prefers that instead of the alternative. You have nothing to feel guilty about. You saved a lot of people’s lives.”

Not everyone. There were a lot of agents going home in body bags to grieving families. The rational part of my mind knew I couldn’t save everyone. It didn’t stop me from wanting to save everyone though. I’d been the person grieving for losing a loved one from a mission and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. 

“Hey,” Mom’s voice pulled my attention back to reality. She was looking at me with worry all over her face. “I know it sucks right now. But think of it this way, there are going to be two little people who are very happy to see their Dad. You never know, it may even help with the other thing going on in Clint’s life.”

The thought of Cooper and Lila’s excited faces when they got to see Clint again softened the crippling guilt. Maybe Mom was right, this may even help Laura and Clint reconnect and sort that out. 

“Last time I saw Evans, he was sitting on the floor Skyping with Alexi and William,” Mom continued, smiling softly. “Alexi wasn’t interested in seeing her Dad, she wanted you instead.”

I could see Alexi’s demanding pout right now when she realized I wasn’t calling her. She’d be stomping her little feet and demanding to know where I was. Evans would roll with it with his never-ending patience and love for his daughter. He’d just be happy to see his family. 

“Sam’s family were on their way to Germany last I heard, grateful that you saved his life. There are a lot of agents out there that over the last few hours have been able to call their families. It may not be everyone that went on that mission but the survival rate was a lot higher than it would have been without you.”

Mom was right, deep down I knew that. I didn’t have the energy to argue with her right now about the guilt that was nagging at me. I stayed quiet and went back to eating my pasta. 

“I’m grateful my daughter is still here too,” Mom added quietly when I didn’t speak. She reached over and gave my calf a small squeeze. “I’m so proud of the strong young lady she is. Even if she doesn’t see that right now.”

I could see it clearly all over her face too. Mom had always been proud of my achievements, no matter what I was doing. This was something else though. I couldn’t begin to process the sheer emotional weight of it right now. Instead, I put my pasta down and reached over to give Mom a hug. It was awkward at the height I was on the bed. Mom wasn’t quite sure where to put her arms either. This is was what I needed right now. A hug from my Mom. 

“This is going to be hard, isn’t it?” I said, closing my eyes and enjoying the hug. 

“Very.” Mom’s honesty was appreciated. “However, I’m here for you. So is everyone else. You aren’t alone.”

The door opening interrupted our moment together. It was Jared back with the doctor.

I kept eating while the doctor gave over my drugs along with the usual instructions that came with them. I felt like I was becoming an old hand at all of this now. Don’t drink on painkillers. Actually, finish your antibiotics and don’t skip doses, something I always forgot about. The usual spiel about making sure I kept on top of my pain management and not let it spiral out of control before taking drugs. Mom sitting next to me kept my eye-rolling to a minimum as the doctor lectured me. Apparently, this certain doctor was used to dealing with macho military types. He wasn’t letting me get a word in to argue about my forced downtime and made me repeat the instructions back to him to make sure I was listening. 

By the time the doctor was done, I’d finished my pasta and was feeling a lot better with some food in my stomach. I threw back the small arsenal of pills that I’d been given so Mom did’t start lecturing me about it. 

“Ready to go?” Jared asked the second I put the empty container aside. 

I snuck a look at the clock. It hadn’t been that long since Gareth had left. If I went to his debrief, I’d probably cause a commotion and interrupt something important. As much as I wanted to see him again, I’d have to deal with ringing him later. Gareth would be back in six weeks anyway.

“Let’s go.”

As much as I hated teleporting with Jared, it was times like this it was incredibly handy. As soon as I got to my feet, Jared took my hand and we were gone. A second later, I was standing in a familiar looking hospital room. Clint was sitting up in the bed looking pale but awake. Natasha was sitting beside him looking unhappy about something. They both jumped at our sudden appearance. Natasha was on her feet half a second later, crossing the distance between us in a few long strides. She pulled me into a crushing hug as soon as I was in arms reach.

“Now you can never, ever doubt you belong with us.” Natasha sounded suspiciously choked up as she hugged me hard. 

Broken ribs and aching side were long forgotten as I hugged her back. Beyond the nagging guilt I’d been feeling, I finally started to have another emotion creep in.

Happiness at being with the most important people in the world to me. Alive and in one piece.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a much needed breather for everyone. Thank you for your patience while I got it out, it was a little harder to put in words than I first thought it would be. So the characters are about to get some much needed downtime for the craziness of the last few chapters. I hope everyone enjoyed the little cameo I put in there as well!
> 
> Thank you so much for your comments and kudos. I love seeing them.


	77. Chapter 77

I hadn’t been this nervous in a long time. Not since the day a year and a half ago when I sat in front of Nick Fury’s office awaiting my fate for losing control of my powers. This time I was sitting in front of another important person’s office. Secretary Alexander Pierce, the head of the World Security Council. I nervously smoothed out the imaginary creases in my skirt, grateful that the dark grey material didn’t show up the sweat from my palms. Part of me really wanted to walk away from this and let someone else deal with it. But, I was the only member of STRIKE Team Delta capable of having this meeting right now.

Clint had been discharged from hospital a day after my arrival in Germany. In a move that surprised the hell out of everyone, Laura had told him to come to Kentucky and she wouldn’t take no for an answer. I’d been staying with them for the last ten days as well, enjoying the peace and quiet of the farm while I recovered. Natasha and Jared had come and gone due to still being needed at work. Today’s meeting couldn’t be put off. Clint was struggling with headaches and having the energy to do simple tasks, so he was in no condition to come today. Coulson had been left in the dark to what this meeting was actually about beyond that I needed to be here for it. He hadn’t been allowed to come up here with me either. Rumlow and Evans were sitting on either side of me looking calm and composed. 

Nothing had really sunk in for the mission yet. It almost felt like it had happened to someone else and I’d simply stood by and watched it. My own long-ass debrief was nothing but one long blur. I don’t even remember what I’d actually said during it. My mind would replay things like Gibson’s death over and over again in my dreams. When I woke up, I felt nothing but an odd sense of detachment about it. I’d been emailing Andrew and even I could tell he was concerned about my lack of feelings about this mission. I was expecting Coulson to send me to Andrew’s office once I was done here. There had been so much happening that Riley’s anniversary had gone without me thinking about it until I was about to fall asleep that night. The next day it had sunk in and I’d crawled into a bottle of Riley’s favourite bourbon and was drunk by 10am. I barely remembered the rest of the day but all of us, including Laura, had woken up with a severe hangover the next day.

“Stop.” 

Rumlow’s firm command and grip on my leg jolted me from my wandering thoughts. I’d been bouncing my leg and apparently Rumlow had gotten sick of it. On the other side of me, Evans shot an exasperated expression at me. No one was chatty or happy about this meeting this morning. Evans looked like he hadn’t slept in days and Rumlow wasn’t looking much better. It wasn’t just this meeting both of them would be stressed about. Everyone’s funerals started happening this week. Cobb’s funeral was tomorrow in his hometown in rural Michigan. I hadn’t wanted to go to it but Mom’s gentle suggestion of it giving me some closure would help in the long run made me pack a bag. I’d fly out with Evans and Bravo team after this meeting today.

The only person yet to come home was Sam. His operation had been successful in putting his humerus and shoulder back together. He’d get to keep his arm and have months of physiotherapy. However infection that had started before he got to hospital had knocked him on his ass and he still wasn’t well enough to make the trip home. His family was still with him which at least made up for being left behind. Natasha and I talked to him every day on the phone since texting was too hard for him. He was miserable and in pain but I’d like to think it cheered him up. At least a little bit. 

“Secretary Pierce and the World Security Council are ready for you.”

I jumped at the sound of the assistant's voice. I really needed to start paying attention today. While Coulson was tolerant and more than understanding about my lack of attention span, I doubted Pierce would be as forgiving as anyone else.

The stitches in my side were due out in a few days. There were horribly itchy and made every movement uncomfortable. Standing up was an awkward twist of my body to try and avoid as much pain as possible. The only comfort was that Evans wasn’t much better at balancing on his crutches either. Even Rumlow looked stiff and sore from whatever injuries he’d picked up along the way. We must have been quite the sight getting out of the chairs with our various injuries. Pierce’s assistant kept a straight face, standing patiently with the door open while we all limped our way into the office. The ceiling to floor length windows in the office was the first thing to notice as you walked into the room. You could see all of DC from up here. I didn’t get a lot of time to gawk at the incredible view. The man in the room cleared his throat and walked towards us.

I’d seen plenty of pictures of Pierce but it was still strange to meet the man in person. He was my height with a slight build and a weathered face. There was no mistaking the authority he held around himself. The man oozed with an easy confidence as he greeted the three of us.

“Thank you for coming Agents, please sit.”

Someone had the good sense to have chairs already waiting for us. As we sat, glass screens rose up from the ground in front of us. I’d be warned about this already. It was a sophisticated video system that the World Security Council used to communicate with ease. It made them look like they were sitting in the room with you. Rumlow and Evans both looked uninterested in it. I couldn’t stop staring at the people on the screen came to life. SHIELD really did have some awesome technology. 

Malick was the first to introduce himself, not that he needed to. But I knew this would all be recorded and made sure everything was done by the look. Next was Councilwoman Hawley, the only woman in the room. She caught my eye and gave me the briefest flick upwards of her lips. It didn’t do a lot to put me at ease, though it made me feel like I may have an ally if this all went to shit. The other three people were Councilman Singh, Councilman Rockwell and Councilman Yen.

“Agent Rumlow, if you’d begin with your debrief please,” Malick instructed once the introductions were done.

I’d already heard all of this before. I forced myself to concentrate as Rumlow retold how his team has been ambushed as soon as the last man was on the ground. The enemy came from all angles and managed to divide the team in all the chaos. Jones and Tucker had both been killed in the ambush and the others had been captured. From there, Bravo team and Alpha team had managed to pull the remaining men together and retreat for the house they’d been in. Along the way the woman and children civilians had fled to them for help. With all radio contact dead and the enemy sending constant waves of men to attack them, they’d had little else to do except defend their position. It wasn’t until I showed up dragging Clint with me that things had turned in our favor. Unlike the other debriefs, Rumlow didn’t shy away from glowing praise about my efforts, not only to save Sam but to get the radio and eventually go on to kill Aldon. 

It was embarrassing to hear Rumlow speak so highly of me to some of the most powerful people in the world. There were a few raised eyebrows but they council mostly kept a cool professionalism about them during the whole thing.

Evans debrief was similar. The only difference was he hadn’t been able to do much once they reached the house due to his ankle. He’d made it up the stairs and that had been as far as he could make it on his broken ankle. Thankfully he didn’t add to the praise of what I’d done. I might have died of embarrassment hearing it a second time. 

“Agent Lyngley,” Malick turned to me once Evans was done. “Your debrief, please.”

Here we go again. I took in a deep breath and started to replay the events from when I had the missile lock on me for the first time and how close it’d come to being blown up.

“Excuse the interruption,” Rockwell spoke up, cutting me off before I got to the part where to EPM went off. “How was it you were able to avoid the missiles when the other pilots couldn’t?”

“My fighter pilot training kicked in,” I said honestly. There was no other explanation for it. “These are the exact situations I trained for. The Quinjet has similar maneuverability like an F-22 so I could trust that I could fly it as defensively as I would in a fighter jet. It was that training that saved our lives.”

If only there had been training on what to do in an aircraft without ejection seats. The terrifying free-fall to the ground was something I never wanted to experience again. I suppressed a shudder just thinking about it. I doubted I’d ever been so afraid in my life again. I cleared my throat, pushing it all from my mind and kept my nonchalant expression firmly fixed. I continued with the debrief, going through what had happened when the enemy had found us in the Quinjet. One thing I had left out of everyone’s debrief was my struggle when I first tried to get Clint and I out of the Quinjet. Everyone was telling me I was a hero for saving Clint. All I could think about was those horrible few moments where I didn’t think I could. Where I was ready to sit there and give up because I wasn’t strong enough. 

“It says here in the debrief that you carried Agent Barton to safety,” Hawley asked when I’d paused to take a breath. I’d gotten up to the part where I’d found the first house and dumped Clint on the bed. “No offence Agent Lyngley, however, Agent Barton seems to have quite a weight difference between you. How is it you carried him so far?”

“Sheer fucking determination,” I said bluntly. I hadn’t meant for the curse to slip out. There was no other explanation for it. If someone had told me, someone, my size had carried a guy like Barton for miles I would have questioned it too. Next, to me Evans snorted quietly under his breath. 

No one corrected me at my terminology. Hawley nodded and the rest of the room stayed quiet, letting me continue with my story. Debriefs like this were easy. It was facts nothing else. No one twitched at my description of ambushing the few men, stabbing them and using my power to kill the last one. Except for some minor clarifications, the rest of my debrief went uninterrupted. It all felt very anticlimactic after I’d built it up in my head. It was nothing more than another debrief, nothing I hadn’t done before. The Council thanked us and with that, all begin to power down their screens. I glanced at Evans who gave me a small lift of his shoulders. He seemed as perplexed as I was at the run of the mill debrief.

“Agent Lyngley, I’d like to speak to you alone for a few minutes please.”

There was no room for me to decline Pierce. Evans and Rumlow both looked as surprised as I was at me being asked to stay behind. I looked to Evans for some moral support, hoping he’d offer to stay with me. I really didn’t want to be in the same room with Pierce.

“In private,” Pierce added firmly. It was odd how Pierce could keep such a pleasant expression on his face while giving me an order. 

Fuck it, there goes my plan of having Evans hold my hand. 

“I’ll wait for you in Coulson’s office,” Evans offered, giving me an apologetic look. I caught the meaning behind those words quickly. No doubt Coulson would want to hear every part of what happened with this private meeting.

I stood there, feeling awkward as Rumlow and Evans left the room. I didn’t know whether I should stay standing or sit back down. Pierce was being quiet until the door clicked shut.

“Please, sit.” Pierce extended a hand towards the chairs we’d just been sitting on. He walked over to the bar, picking up an expansive looking decanter filled with an amber liquid. “Can I get you a drink?”

“No, thank you,” I said, sitting back down. It was 11am, far too early to be drinking, even by my standard. In case my firm refusal sounded rude, I quickly added. “I’m not allowed to drink with my antibiotics.”

Pierce took my explanation with a tolerant smile, pouring himself a drink. It felt like an eternity stretched out as the amber liquid filled up the glass. I forced myself to sit still keeping a neutral expression on my face, despite my inner turmoil. I was at a loss at why I was here by myself and why the World Security Council wanted such a simple debrief. 

“When your file slide across my desk about 18 months ago, I couldn’t help but to think to myself that we were going to have a serious problem with Jared’s younger sister,” Pierce said, walking over to his desk. He casually leaned against, his intense gaze falling on me. “Then I began to question Fury’s sanity with allowing Coulson to have you in STRIKE Team Delta.”

Where the hell was this going? It was no secret that a lot of people questioned Coulson’s decision to have me on STRIKE Team Delta. Hell, a lot of people questioned me even being in STRIKE. It was an odd place to put a fighter pilot. 

“However, beyond the unauthorized incident in Pripyat, you record is starting to look rather spectacular,” Pierce continued, pausing briefly to take a sip of his drink. His gaze never left me, even while drinking. “An agent with your skill set is rather unique.”

Pierce had a point. Rumlow had said it himself before Paris, that I was versatile. The perfect blend of Natasha and Clint along with my powers gave me a very different skill set. I’d never be as good as Natasha or Clint at what they did, however, I could easily hold myself up and add a little of my own flair to it. 

“I normally don’t meddle in the affairs of things such as personnel within teams, however, this has come as a request and considering the circumstances, I believed it warrants my attention,” Piece said smoothly. “Agent Rumlow has requested you to be allocated to Alpha team, several times, and denied. I’m offering you a more senior position on Alpha team.”

No training would have been able to keep the surprised look off my face. Rumlow must have used up every favour he had to get this to go so high up. Coulson was going to be fucked pissed when I told him how over his head Rumlow had just gone to get his own way. 

“You’d be allocated a higher clearance level, the pay rate would go up with it,” Pierce kept speaking, obviously not expecting an answer right away. “You’d get more missions along with autonomy on picking any solo ones that come your way. Alpha team gets triple the amount of mission than Delta. You’d actually be able to do your job instead of waiting for those carefully selected missions and simply tagging along because you’re their pilot.”

Wow. I was very taken back by the assumption that I sat in the Quinjet doing nothing on missions with Natasha and Clint. Pierce couldn’t be more wrong. 

“I’m perfectly happy where I am. I don’t need to change teams.” I didn’t even have to think about the answer. There’s no way I’d want to change teams. I trusted Natasha and Clint with my life. I couldn’t say the same about being on a team like Alpha. While I appreciated the skill of the guys on Rumlow’s team, I’d be lost in the crowd of them all. 

I don’t think Pierce expected my answer to be so quick. It was his turn to raise both eyebrows at me in surprise. 

“I do have the authority to order you onto a new team.” Pierce covered up his surprise smoothly. “I firmly believe that you would shine without being in the shadow of Hawkeye and Black Widow.”

Something clicked in my head. It wasn’t just my skill set that Pierce wanted. It was the fact I did follow orders. I didn’t go against the grain like Clint and Natasha. With my own unique skill set and the ability to follow orders, I was the perfect little solider for whatever Pierce wanted. Instead of being surprised, I felt a few bubbles of anger make their way to the surface. This must have been brewing since before Paris. No wonder Coulson and Rumlow hadn’t been exactly friendly towards each other.

“I also have the ability to pick up a piece of paper and write out my resignation,” I said stiffly. “Colonel Rhodes would be more than happy to finally snap me up.”

That was a gamble on my behalf. I had no idea if the offer from Rhodey from last year would still apply. Even if it didn’t, it’s not like I’d be short on job opportunities. One word to Pepper and I’m sure she’d make a position at Stark Industries for me. To be honest, I didn’t have to work. The money Riley left for me was more than comfortable enough for me live on for the rest of my life. 

Pierce didn’t look upset or surprised at my snappy retort. He stood there, taking another slow sip of his drink, a smirk playing on the edges of his lips. There was something about him that made me extremely uncomfortable. It wasn’t just his position of power, it was something else. I couldn’t put my fingers on it but my instincts were screaming at me not to trust him.

“Is that all, Sir?” I put on my best resting bitch face, trying to look as bored as possible with this conversation. 

“If you change your mind, all you have to do is say the word,” Pierce said smoothly. “You’re dismissed Agent.”

I left as fast as my aching body would allow me. The burst of energy was short lived, I only made it to the elevator before slumping against the wall. I didn’t want to deal with this right now. It was one more thing I had to bury in the pit of things I didn’t want to think about. That pit was starting to get very full. I could feel all the guilt I kept burying struggling just beneath the surface. I was doing my best to hold it off for a little while longer. 

It was no surprise to find Coulson’s office door open. I kicked it shut behind me, feeling a small bubble of anger make itself known again. The door slammed with a lot more force than was necessary, causing an eyebrow to be raised from both Evans and Coulson.

“Rumlow went over everyone’s heads and straight to Pierce to try and get me on his team,” I announced with a scoff. I threw myself down into the chair in front of Coulson’s desk. “Pierce threatened to make it an order so I told him I’d quit if it happened.”

Coulson didn’t look the least bit surprised at my news. If anything it seemed to add to the lines of stress that were permanently etched on Coulson’s face right now. I couldn’t begin to imagine the amount of pressure Coulson was under after this mission. It was one shit show after the other. He’d done an amazing job at keeping me and Clint shielded away from the worst of it.

“Rumlow has wanted you from day one. His ambitions knows no boundaries,” Evans spoke first, offering a shrug at the news. He was sitting next to me, his busted leg up on another chair. “Fury is going to be pissed. Rumlow was told no last week from Fury and now he’s gone over Fury’s head to Pierce. Rumlow needs to learn he doesn’t get to throw his personal connection to Pierce around because he doesn’t get his own way.”

The confusion must have been clear on my face because Evans added for my clarification.

“Rumlow saved Pierce’s daughter a couple of years ago. It was a suicide mission and Rumlow managed to get her and the agents who volunteered to go with him out without any causalities. STRIKE Team Alpha’s leader was killed a few months later and Pierce promoted Rumlow above everyone else, against Fury’s recommendation. It’s why Alpha team gets a lot of missions directly from the World Security Council without going through SHIELD channels.”

There was my explanation on how Rumlow had some pull to get that meeting arranged today. It also explained why Pierce told me I’d be able to go on more missions. The pieces of the puzzle of today were rapidly falling into place. Alpha team sounded like the World Security Council’s private hit squad. I remember Peggy Carter saying all those months ago that Rumlow could be ruthless. I’d just gotten a small taste of that. 

“I thought we’d put all this bullshit behind us,” Coulson said with a heavy sigh. “Kari, I’m sorry you got dragged into this. This means you’ll probably get pulled in front of Fury sooner rather than later. He wanted a meeting with you anyway. I was stalling him for as long as possible until you were feeling better.”

I’m sure he did. I felt my shoulder sag from the weight of all of this. I didn’t want any of this. I just wanted to heal up and get back to work. Getting back to work had helped me heal from Riley, I was hoping it would do the same thing with this mission. If I was busy, I didn’t have the time or energy to think. 

“It’s fine.” I forced a smile on my face, feeling anything but fine. “Am I allowed to fly this afternoon?”

I didn’t miss the concerned look that Coulson and Evans exchanged. I braced myself for the disappointment that was about to come. I didn’t blame them. I’d essentially brushed everything off like it was nothing. I was still expecting Coulson to tell me to go see Andrew before I did anything else.

“Sure.” Coulson’s answer surprised the hell out of me. “Do you want a co-pilot?”

“Nope, I’m good.” Something tugged on the inside of me. A nagging little voice in the back of my heading saying the real reason I didn’t want a co-pilot was I didn’t want to have to carry someone else to safety if we crashed again. I pushed that little voice back into the black pit where I was keeping all my other emotions. Cracking a joke should make things work even more in my favour here. “Not unless Evans wants to learn to fly.”

My plan worked perfectly. Coulson’s lips curled up into an amused smirk as Evans pulled a face of disgust. A few years ago there had been a push for the STRIKE leaders all to learn how to fly for some reason. Evans hated those few flying lessons he had to do before the idea was scrapped. When I found out I’d had a lot of fun teasing him about it. 

“Get out of here.” Evans playfully swiped at me. 

He missed by a mile but it actually made me feel the smile on my face was real, not plastered on for the sake of normality. I did as I was told before anything else could change Coulson’s mind about letting me fly. 

I stopped by the locker room to get changed, grab my bag and made my way to the hanger. As usual, it was busy down here. There was always people flying in and out at all times of the day and night. The Quinjet’s needed a lot of maintenance like most high powered aircraft, meaning there was always technical staff on hand. As it was, someone was still fiddling with the engine on the Quinjet I was taking today. The mechanic gave me a polite nod as I approached but otherwise didn’t stop to speak to me. He would have been on a tight schedule to get my Quinjet ready to take off in the next half an hour. I left him in peace and wandered into the Quinjet.

For the first time since the mission, I was alone. It was an odd feeling. Even at the farm with Laura and the kids, there was always someone around. Laura had taken some time off work so she could be there for me and Clint. When the kids weren’t at school they would hang off me. I didn’t mind in the least, it was good to see them both. Cooper was struggling in maths with school so I’d been spending time helping him with his homework. Lila always wanted to ride Princess Penelope and spend as much time as she was allowed out in the paddock with her. When the kids were at school, there was always something for me to do to help Laura out around the house. Now all I had to do was sit here and wait until I could do my preflight. I stowed my bag and eased myself down into the pilot seat.

Sometimes I think when I thought my world couldn’t get any crazier it always did. There were so many ups and downs in my life. I could scarcely believe I was three months away from being in SHIELD for two years. This time last year I didn’t think I’d be able to imagine a future without Riley in it. Now I was a whole year after losing him. He’d now been gone longer than I’d known him for. Sometimes I wondered what life would have been like if he’d lived. Pripyat would have certainly been interesting. I don’t know if Riley would ever forgive Jared for what he did. I’m pretty sure Riley would have been encouraging Clint to break every airspeed possible after Odessa when Clint borrowed, as he still put it, the Quinjet to get to me and Natasha. This last mission certainly would have been a lot more horrifying. If it had been Riley in Cobb’s shoes, I still would have lost him in the end. 

I sighed heavily, shaking myself from wandering thoughts. Wishing for things to be different wouldn’t change anything. It was too painful to start treading down that path. I was trying to avoid my emotions, not add to them. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and looked at the screen. It had been on silent most of the morning and the text messages were piling up. Jared, Natasha and Clint all wanted to know how the meeting went. Mom was asking if I wanted to stay in New York for a few days after the funerals were done. It was also a not too subtle hint that she wanted me home for my birthday. I had a sneaking suspicion that she was planning something for our 25th birthday. Laura had sent me a stern reminder to take my antibiotics. Gareth was asking how my day was going. It was a good distraction to reply to everyone while I waited for the mechanic to finish his work on the Quinjet. A small bit of normality as I sat here with my feet up on the control panel tapping away at my phone. 

The mechanic finished as soon as I’d hit send on my text back to Gareth. I could do a preflight on the Quinjet in my sleep. Today there was something soothing about running through something so mundane as a preflight. By the time I was done, Bravo team had started to gather in the back. Everyone was quiet as they got themselves settled. There was nothing fun about what was to come. Most of the guys still looked as stiff and sore as I felt. Despite saying he didn’t want to be my copilot, Evans came into the cockpit and sat next to me.

“Coulson is worried about you,” Evans said bluntly as he buckled himself in. “So am I.”

“I know.” What else was there for me to say? I knew what I was doing wasn’t healthy and I was only delaying the inevitable by pushing all these emotions away. “None of this feels real yet. Like it happened to someone else.”

Evans face softened immediately at my confession. 

“Have you been sleeping?” Evans changed tactics. “You know you’re welcome to stay at my place instead of where ever you’re hiding.”

“Sleep is one thing I’m getting right now. Barton needs…” I trailed off, not sure how to put this. There was no easy lie to say we were hiding in Kentucky with his ex-wife and two kids. Instead, I lamely finished. “Space.”

“Mmm, I bet he does.” Evans casually lounged back in the co-pilot chair. “I do know about that new safe house of his and what’s in it. How was the other day?”

I wasn’t surprised. I got the meaning behind Evans words loud and clear. It would make sense someone else would know beyond Coulson. If something ever happened to all of them, someone would have to be a back up plan. Evans asking about the other day would have been for Riley’s anniversary.

“I was drunk by 10 am.” I wasn’t proud of it. Drinking to drown out my feelings weren’t going to help anything. I didn’t even like bourbon. “I barely remember it. You?”

“I think I was drunk about an hour after you.” Evans gave me a wry smile. “Abby sent the kids to her Mom’s place and joined me.”

“You may end up with child number three out of this,” I said in a poor attempt at teasing. It had the desired effect and got a small chuckle from Evans.

“I don’t think I was in any shape to try anything like that.” Evans shook his head. “I’m not as young as I used to be and bourbon doesn’t agree with me like it used to.”

“Poor old man,” I teased. This was a welcome bit of normality. Evans was turning 45 this year and was struggling with the downhill gallop to becoming 50. “Do I need to get some viagra to keep Abby happy?”

“Listen here you,” Evans teased me straight back. His stern face did nothing to hide the amused twinkle in his eye as he waggled a finger at me. “I am more than capable of giving my wife a good time without any assistance. I’m 44, not 144.”

The bubble of laughter coming from me felt odd But good. Maybe, just maybe I’d be able to get through all of this without a huge emotional fallout. I had such a good group of friends for support. 

“I’m going to take you up on that offer to stay at your place when we get back,” I continued the teasing, even though I was being serious. “Give your poor old bones a break from your toddler.”

“Oh good,” Evans said with a smirk. He tapped his crutch against the brace on his leg. “She keeps forgotten that Dad has a sore leg and keeps wrapping herself around me. I think I’d prefer her kicking me in the nuts than grabbing my broken ankle.”

I winched on Evans behalf. Lila had forgotten about my ribs and jumped on me when we were sitting on the couch the other night. I hadn’t been able to do anything more than lay there trying to breathe through it for ten minutes. Even Lila feeling bad and offering me the last cupcake had done little to stem the agony.

“I feel your pain.” My hand came up to touch my still tender ribs. “I got launched on the other night.”

While we were speaking, I’d eased the Quinjet out into the sun. Air traffic control gave me the clearance after a few minutes of waiting. I thought the feeling of the jet rumbling to life under me might have undone me. I felt nothing but the usual thrill as we took off into the clear blue sky. This was another thing that felt good. The Quinjet steady under my hands again. 

“They must be getting big now,” Evans mused with a smile as we climbed to altitude. “I haven’t seen them in a long time. How're things with his girlfriend?”

“Strained.” The smile on my face fell a little. “She invited him down there and I hoped it would help things. It doesn’t seem to be doing anything to help though.”

Laura had been amazing while we’d been hurt. But she still treated Clint with a detached coolness, like he was her patient. Clint didn’t say anything or push Laura beyond what she was willing to talk about. He seemed content just to be there with her and the kids. So I didn’t push, even though I desperately wanted to.

“It’s a hard life we lead as STRIKE,” Evans said with a sympathetic smile. “There’s been times where the job has driven a wedge in my marriage. It has to be even harder for them because of his past. Give it time. It’s only been a few months.”

Mom had said the same thing when I talked to her about it too. Laura had her reasons and I had to respect that. It didn’t make it any less frustrating though.

“You’re a good friend for trying to fix it though,” Evans continued, reaching over to give my hand a small squeeze. “I’m sure they both appreciate it.”

I wasn’t sure about that. I think Laura got frustrated with the meddling me and Natasha were trying to do. 

“By the way,” Evans smile turned into a mischievous smirk. “Gareth seems nice. You certainly like them muscly, don’t you?”

“I am amazed you managed to hold off teasing me for this long.” I barely resisted rolling my eyes at Evans. I knew part of this was trying to put me in a good mood and keep me distracted for any potential disasters. Even if it hadn’t been the timing, Evans wouldn’t have been able to help himself with the teasing about Gareth. I wasn’t surprised they’d met in Camp Cooke. Gareth had mentioned he’d run into a few people and was able to put faces to names now. “Did you threaten him, like Sam did?”

“No, you’d be pleased to know I was incredibly civil to him.” There was no teasing from Evans this time. He actually looked serious. “I think he’s good for you. Besides, anyone who can get along with Alexi is a winner.”

“He is good for me.” There was no denying that. Gareth was exactly what I needed right now in my life. He was a good friend, being there if I wanted him and able to keep his distance when I didn’t. “I appreciate you not threatening him. Sam told him if he ever hurt me no one would find his body.”

“Please, like Sam would be able to get his hands on him first,” Evans said with a snort. “He’d have to wait in line behind Jared, Romanoff, and Barton. If there anything left of him after that, it’s my turn.”

“I have this feeling everyone would be disappointed. Because Coulson would be like a ninja, swoop in and there’d be nothing left of him before the rest of them caught up,” I said with a laugh. “No one would ever suspect him.”

That got a good laugh from Evans. I had a feeling Evans needed a little bit of normality as much as I did right now. I couldn’t begin to imagine the amount of paperwork that this mission developed. Along with notifying far too many families that their loved ones had been killed. It would have been a rough time for him.

The rest of the flight was spent with Evans and I talking about nothing in particular. It was a relaxing way to spend the flight to Reed City, Michigan. It was only a small rural town. STRIKE Team Bravo had nearly filled the only hotel in town. I was lucky to get a room to myself because most of the guys had to double up. We were landing at a private airstrip about ten minutes out of town. The advantage of being in a small town was there was no lack of people wanting to help out right now. It was also the downfall of a small town. Everyone knew Cobb and no doubt his death would have hit the community hard. I knew Cobb was the youngest of three siblings. His parents ran the gas station in town. 

After I powered the Quinjet down, I went to grab my bag but found it missing. Nick had it swung over his shoulder as he walked down the ramp. Beside him, Andy had two bags over his shoulder too. I knew the well worn one was Evans usual bag. Next to me, Evans was grumbling under his breath as the sight in front of us. His grumbling didn’t last long as people started to greet the STRIKE Team at the bottom of the ramp. I watched out of the corner of my eye as Evans straightened up, as much as his crutches would allow him and put on a brave face for the world to see as we disembarked. 

I hung back as people began to greet Evans. I felt very out of place as people who were obviously related to Cobb came forward. I closed the ramp of the Quinjet as an excuse to stay out of the crowd, lingering like I was checking something on the hydraulics on the ramp. As unwell as Clint had looked this morning, I wish I’d taken him up on the offer to come with me to the funeral. It would have given me someone to talk to while Evans was busy. While I was pondering how long I could take before it looked obvious I wasn’t doing anything here, my name got called out by Evans. I had no choice but to walk over and stand with the two people he was talking to. 

“Gary, Trish this is Kari,” Evans introduced me as I walked over. “Ryan’s parents.”

Of course they were. Cobb looked very much like his Dad. They were the last people I wanted to talk to right now. Before I could say anything, Trish stepped forward and gave me a hug.

“Thank you for bringing our boy back home,” Trish’s voice was choked with emotion. 

A hug from Cobb’s Mom was the last thing I was expecting. I thought I’d be ignored for most of this. Here I was, the centre of attention where I really didn’t want to be. Trish hugging me didn’t go unnoticed by anybody. I could feel a lot of eyes on me.

“You’re welcome.” I awkwardly hugged her back. Thankfully she didn’t hold on for too long. Trish must have sensed how uncomfortable I was and let go a second later. Gary stepped forward and shook my hand. 

“It’s a pleasure to put a face to the name,” Gary said with a strained smile. I inwardly cringed thinking about all the things Cobb must have said about me as I shook his Dad’s hand. They were being very gracious to me considering Cobb and I never got along. 

Evans quickly stepped in and saved me from anymore awkwardness. It didn’t really help because after that it was a never ending line of people introducing themselves. I was stuck talking to someone whose name I’d promptly forgotten and he wanted to chat my ear off. I was never so glad when Evans discreetly grabbed my arm and steered me towards a car.

“We’ve been invited to dinner,” Evans said lowly as we walked over to the car. “You’re more than welcome to make any excuse you want to get out of it if you want.”

“I’m tired.” It wasn’t too much of a lie. My energy levels were pretty shitty right now. “I’m going to sit around in my underwear and eat pizza in the peace and quiet.”

Evans nodded, looking a little envious himself of being able to brush off the invitation. Tomorrow was going to be full on. I needed every bit of energy I could muster to get through it. The drive into town I spent gently deflecting Trish’s attempts to get me to come to dinner. This was already awkward enough without me spending time with Cobb’s parents. Gary was quiet throughout the drive and I didn’t miss him glancing back at me in the rearview mirror all the time. I was very grateful when I was dropped at the only hotel in town, grabbed my bag off Nick and went to my room. 

The room wasn’t much. A bed with a small ensuite. The TV looked older than me but it was all clean and functional. I was happy to kick my shoes off and collapse onto the bed with a muffled groan. I was tired and sore. I really needed to find some food and take my drugs. I had learned the hard way these particular antibiotics weren’t good on an empty stomach. The hotel only offered room service for breakfast and there weren’t many places to eat in town. Thankfully the only pizza place in town delivered. Judging by the harassed sounding worker, I wasn’t the only one to be ordering pizza to the hotel either. It only took another minute for someone to knock on my door.

“We’ve ordered pizza and have beer,” Nick’s voice was muffled through the door. “Don’t make me come in there and drag you out.”

“I’m naked,” I called back. “If you open that door, I will beat your ass.”

It only made Nick bang on the door harder. I could hear barely contained snickers of laughter on the other side. I sighed, knowing full well they wouldn’t leave me alone until I came out. None of Bravo team had seen me since the mission, besides me flying here today. As tired as I was, I got to my feet and got my shoes. 

“You’re a pain in the ass,” I said as I flung the door open. Nick and Andy were both on the other side, looking insanely pleased with themselves. Judging by the slight falter of balance from Nick when I opened the door, I wouldn’t be surprised if there’d already been some drinking started. 

“Yeah, but we’re your pain in the asses.” Nick flashed me a charming grin. “Come on, pizza and beer. We haven’t seen you in ages. The hotel owner said we’re welcome to use the pool and barbecue area as long as we clean up after ourselves and no one skinny dips.”

At least most of Bravo team were house trained. There wouldn’t be any problems with them cleaning up after themselves or this turning into anything wild. 

“It’s like twenty degrees.” I shivered as I pulled my shoes on. “Who’d want to skinny dip in this weather?”

“Dumber things have been done before,” Andy pointed out, giving Nick a look. “Like people deciding to cannonball into a half frozen pool.”

I sighed heavily, rolling my eyes to cover my amusement. Dumb things like that were done on a weekly basis throughout the STRIKE teams. At least most of the time the testosterone fuelled antics from Bravo team were funny. They didn’t tend to get into as much trouble as the other STRIKE teams. I made sure I had my key before closing the door and let Nick and Andy lead the way. 

Everyone seemed happy to see me as I walked into the pool area. I got hugs from everyone as I walked around to get a beer. Despite not wanting to be sociable, it really was good to see everyone again. Once I got my beer I wandered between the small groups everyone had congregated in. Guys wanted to know how the meeting had gone this morning, how Barton was coping and the usual catch up. It was an easy way to pass the time until the pizza arrived. 

“And I have one for Kari who I was told would be down here,” the guy delivering the pizza’s had to raise his voice to be heard over the noise.

“That’s me.” There were times it was good to be tall. A distinctly feminine voice amongst the sea of men never hurt either. I wove my way through the muscly bodies to get my meatlovers with extra everything on it. The guy holding the remaining pizza looked vaguely familiar. He couldn’t cover his start of surprise as he looked at me.

“Wow, you are not what I expected,” the delivery guy recovered quickly as he handed me over the pizza. There was a small hesitation as he held onto the box for a moment longer than necessary. “Can I talk to you for a moment?”

I looked at the man in front of me, my curiosity piqued. He was obviously a relative of Cobb’s. It wasn’t hard to give in and nod my consent. He motioned for me to follow him, obviously wanting this conversation in private. I put my pizza down with a warning glare at Bravo team not to touch it.I held back a smirk of amusement as the man in question suddenly found a lot of eyes watching him carefully. The scrutiny from Bravo team would have made anyone uncomfortable. I could see the tension in his shoulders grow tighter as we walked out of the pool area and to the side.

“It’s like having fifteen overprotective brothers,” I said in a way of apology as soon as we were clear. “They always seem to forget I can beat their asses quite thoroughly.”

The man in front of me had a small laugh. I could see his eyes on me as he looked me up and down. It wasn’t a stare of checking out my body or anything inappropriate. He was curious more than anything else. He was wearing a wedding ring so I doubted this was him trying to get my number or something else ridiculous. 

“I’m Blake, Ryan’s oldest brother,” he said, sticking out his hand in introduction. “It’s nice to put a face to the name.”

I shook his hand with a small smile. A nervous flutter appeared in my stomach at the apprehension of where this was going.

“I didn’t see you when we arrived,” I said tactfully, dropping my hands into my jacket pocket. It stopped me from fidgeting. 

“No, I had to open up the shop,” Blake said, looking as uncomfortable as I was feeling. “I’m the manager of the pizza shop.”

“Ah.” I couldn’t think of much else to say to that. I decided to cut straight to the point instead of standing here trading small talk. “What can I help you with?”

“I know…” Blake started before trailing off with a frustrated huff. He took in a few deep breaths, closing his eyes briefly before starting again. “The shit Ryan did was very classified I know that. But no one will tell us what exactly happened except that he died in the line of duty and you were able to bring him home. You and Ryan hated each other. Believe me, I know how much of a difficult asshole he could be. I’m just having a hard time believing that you’re being painted a hero by bringing him home when you two couldn’t be in the same room together.”

Ouch. I had to give it to Blake, it took some serious balls to come out and say that. I took in my own deep breath, trying to find a way to put this into words. I couldn’t come out and tell his brother exactly what happened. But I hoped what I was about to say would give him some closure. 

“It was his dislike of me that saved everyone,” I began, swallowing back the lump in my throat. Aldon stabbing Cobb was seared into my mind and I would never forget it. “A nasty rumor that Ryan so vehemently believed is what gave me a chance to do what I needed to do to get out of there.”

Blake’s eyes filled his tears as I spoke. His jaw tightened at the mention of the rumor. I had no doubt some of those words had made it back here. 

“Men can be quite simple creatures. Egotistical maniacs or not they can still be played.” I felt my skin crawl as the memories of what I did to distract Aldon came back to mind. I unconsciously rubbed my arms, like it would brush it away. “If it had been someone besides Ryan brought in for questioning, my plan wouldn’t have worked.”

Understanding lit up in Blake’s eyes at my evasive answer. I couldn’t give him any details but he’d be able to put some vague picture together. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t save him.” My voice cracked on my apology. This time I was the one who had to take a few steadying breaths. “I know we didn’t like each other but I had a lot of respect for him. Ryan was the hero, not me.”

Even though I thought he was the biggest asshole to walk the Earth, there was a very good reason Cobb got put into Riley’s position nearly straight out of the Academy. He was a brilliant marksman. I’d seen him do some shots that even made Clint raise an eyebrow in surprise. Everything would have been different if it had been someone besides Cobb being brought to Aldon. I wasn’t sure I’d be standing here if had gone any differently. 

“He’d never admit it but I’m pretty sure the respect was mutual,” Blake said with a strained smile. There was a long pause as Blake’s adam apple bobbed up and down. “Thank you. I should probably get going.”

Without saying anything else, Blake turned around and left. I felt every barrier I’d put up to keep my emotions in check start to shake. The bricks and mortar I’d built so carefully around my emotions to keep them in check threatened to crumble right there and then. I closed my eyes taking in a few deep breaths. I couldn’t lose it now. I had to keep my shit together for a few more days. I pushed it all away, straightening the barriers in my head and forced a smile on my face. I’d made it this far without falling apart. I could keep going.

I had to keep going.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! That ending was giving me some grief. Sometimes I think writing action is so much easier because there aren't those pesky things called feelings involved so much.
> 
> So here we go with getting a glimpse into why Rumlow wants Kari. I hope everyone enjoyed that!


	78. Chapter 78

I sat on the porch gently rocking the chair swing back and forth as I stared out into the night at the farm in Kentucky. It was early or late, depending on how you wanted to look at it. I’d woken up at 0215 and the freshest nightmares had forced me from bed and downstairs to make a coffee instead. My coffee was long gone. The mug was cold in my hands, though I still gripped it. The alcohol from earlier was making me feel tired and sluggish. 

Today had been the last of the funerals. I’d managed to hold my shit together throughout all of them. Cobb’s funeral was horrid. His Mom sobbed the entire time and afterward I didn’t get a moment of peace from his family. Everyone treated me like the hero I wasn’t and I hated it. 

Glover’s funeral was just as bad. Afterward, his wife with their month old baby had come up to me and asked me how I did it. How did I manage to move on after Riley? I had no answers for her. I told her that you never do, you just learn to live with the pain. Seeing her face crumple and her breaking down after that had made me dive for a bottle of scotch. I’d gotten so drunk that Evans had to call Jared away from wherever he was and come and get me. Edwards ex-wife was the picture of cool composure throughout his entire funeral. This time it wasn’t me getting wasted because I couldn’t deal with the feelings. Edwards youngest boy had gone up to Evans and asked him where his Daddy was. Evans barely kept his composure together as he excused himself. I found him an hour later, drunk off his ass and red faced. Abby and I had to get some of the guys to help us get him into the car. I stayed the night at their place and the next morning I’d never seen Evans so quiet. 

Although Marks was single, his funeral was just as hard as the others. Out of all of them, he’d been the only one who was being buried in Arlington. He and Andy had grown up together, gone through the Academy together. They were brothers and always had each other's backs. Andy stood there looking like he’d lost a part of him. There were no words to describe the devastation so clearly on his face. Sam had finally made it home for Marks funeral and the two of them disappeared afterward. They were found later in front of Riley’s grave with a bottle of bourbon gone between them. 

I’d been the one to find them.

There was nothing that could have prepared me for going to Riley’s grave. An entire year I’d avoided it, along with everything else to do with him. It had nearly been my undoing seeing his name etched onto the white gravestone. A lump had stuck in my throat and nothing was helping to dislodge it. Tonight I’d seen his death over and over again in my dreams. All the ways he could have died if he hadn’t been killed in that mission. I’d woken up in a cold sweat and refused to go back to sleep.

So, here I was, sitting on the porch and willing my tired body not to sleep. After the emotional rollercoaster of this week, I was feeling more cracks appear on my walls. No amount of willpower was fixing it either. It was only a matter of time before it all got too much for me.

“Hey.”

Clint’s quiet voice made me jump. I hadn’t heard the back door opening. He was standing in front of me with two steaming mugs.

“Hey.” I scooted over so he had room to sit down. He offered one of the cups to me before sitting down. The smell of coffee drifted up to me putting a small smile on my face. Clint knew exactly what I needed.

“I can’t sleep either,” Clint said quietly as he settled himself down beside me. He still looked pale, despite claiming he was feeling better. “I keep having dreams of falling.”

I shuddered, curling my hands around the mug tighter. I had those exact same dreams. Dreams of falling and there was nothing but a sudden stop at the end. 

“Me too,” I admitted just as quiet. “Along with everything else.”

Clint had been at the funeral today as well. He knew exactly what I was talking about. He said nothing except to reach over and take my hand. It had been a hell of a month. There was no denying that. I had my meeting with Fury in a few days which I was not looking forward to. At least afterward I was heading to New York. I’d gotten a surprise invitation from Pepper inviting me to the opening of their new building in Manhattan on Friday night. After that, Mom was planning a quiet birthday dinner with just the four of us. She said Jared and I needed some peace and quiet after everything happening.

Besides taking me and Clint to the funerals, Jared and Natasha had both been busy. There was a lead on the sellers for the technology Aldon had. I almost pitied the person who did it once Natasha and Jared caught up with them. There wasn’t going to be much left of their body.

“Thank you.” Clint’s voice was so quiet I nearly missed it.

“What for?” I glanced over at him, slightly confused. Clint’s eyes met mine and it clicked in my mind what he was talking about.

“For bringing me home,” Clint said the words that he really didn’t need to. “For bringing me back to my kids.”

“Yeah, well,” I said casually to cover my embarrassment. Clint didn’t need to thank me for bringing him home. He would have done the exact same thing in my shoes. “I’m still putting you on a diet.”

Clint’s chuckle was weary but it was something. I knew that it still haunted him not remembering anything from the mission or the week before. A part of his life was just erased and there was nothing he could do to bring it back. His dreams of falling, as horrible as they would be, were the closest thing he’d get to a memory of the mission. 

“Clint,” I started before hesitating. There was something that played on my mind since the mission happened. Not his cries for Barney to stop. That I knew the story behind as much as I didn’t want to. While Jared and I fought like cats and dogs sometimes I could never, ever betray him like Barney did to Clint.

Clint looked at me, an eyebrow quirked upward in question. He sensed my hesitation and waited patiently, keeping my gaze until I found the words I wanted.

“You were telling someone they couldn’t make you talk,” I said hesitantly. “Do you know what that was about?”

“Probably the mission I lost my hearing,” Clint said with a shrug. He didn’t look surprised at my question. “Did Coulson ever give you the non redacted version?”

I shook my head. I’d never thought to ask about the details of that mission. Clint’s deafness rarely crossed my mind because he was so well adjusted with it.

“It was meant to be a simple take out mission,” Clint started with a small sigh. His gaze turned to the dark fields in front of us. “My position got compromised and I was overrun. Next thing I knew I woke up chained to a hospital bed.”

My stomach turned at his words and the haunted look on Clint’s face. This was obviously hard for him to talk about. 

“Nine days it took Coulson to find me.” The muscles in Clint’s jaw clenched as he worked through the memory. “Nine days in captivity and torture feels like nine years. I clung to the hope that Coulson would come for me no matter what. He’d promised that to me when I first joined. That no matter what he would be there for me.”

I didn’t know much surrounding Clint’s recruitment. I would have liked to be a fly on that wall when they brought in the angry sixteen year old with a skill set beyond anything anyone had ever seen. It was no secret that Coulson put his career on the line to bring Clint in and make him an agent. He’d move mountains to bring any of us home safe.

“When they realized SHIELD were breaching the building, the head guy stabbed me in both of my ears with my arrows. It was meant to kill me. Some sort of sick justice for what I was. Coulson found him before he left the room.”

I had no pity for the man who did that to Clint. Coulson might look like a mild mannered desk agent but he didn’t get to his position by being one. Coulson was as deadly as they come and he would have torn the man apart that was responsible for Clint getting hurt.

“No one ever found the man’s body. Coulson simply said that he’d delivered a fatal blow but the guy got away before he could see him die.” Clint shook his head like he was clearing the memory away. “Out of all the missions I’ve ever been on, that one was the worst. It’s the one that haunts me the most.”

“I keep thinking that one mission will haunt me, then it seems to keep changing,” I blew out a long breath. There was so much I could say to Clint but they’d be nothing but bullshit platitudes. He’d obviously learned to cope with that mission and I was only bringing up bad memories. “Or they all jumble together and I see Jared getting shot by the Winter Soldier while Yelena stabs Riley.”

I didn’t add that I could feel Aldon’s hands on me. That part never changed. Those roaming hands that made me want to scrub every inch of my body in bleach. It felt like I’d never be able to get the feel of his hands off my skin. 

“The life is a SHIELD agent,” Clint said, his tone sounding resigned. He squeezed my hand in a small show of support. The rough callous on his hand kept me grounded, reminding me that I was here. Not with Aldon. “Nothing will ever be normal again.”

Even if I walked away from SHIELD tomorrow, my entire life was changed. Some days I thought it was for the better. Other days, like today, I hated the change it brought to my life. One thing I would always hold on to was the fact I had Clint and Natasha as friends. They were the shining beacons in my life, always there and keeping me grounded. Silence fell between us again as we both sipped our coffee. The vanilla creamer Laura had found for me was amazing. Clint always seemed to put exactly the right amount in it too. 

“Wanna watch a movie?” Clint’s sudden change of topic made my head reel. “It’s too quiet out here. I’m thinking too much.”

“Sure.” I’d nearly finished my coffee. The second cup had given me a burst of energy. Enough to know I wouldn’t be going to sleep in the next few hours. It was stupid of me to try and stay awake tonight. I’d promised Evans and Abby I would babysit the kids tonight so they could have a much needed date night.

Clint and I were both slow getting to our feet. Any sudden change in movement still made Clint’s head spin. My stitches were finally gone but it did little to ease the never ending ache in my ribs and back. I had physiotherapy booked in for when my ribs were a little more healed. The house was silent as we both shuffled through the darkness. I curled up on the couch while Clint fiddled around, finding us a movie to watch. The TV glowed to life and a few seconds later a lamp was jumping on a letter. My lips curled into a smile as the menu for Wall-E came up. We were such children.

Clint came back to the couch, stretching over it. I took that as an invitation to lounge over him. Clint was warm, solid and didn’t mind in the least when I lay on him. It was comforting for me to lay on his chest, listening to his heartbeat while the movie started to play. Clint's arm came around me as he settled down on the couch. The happy tune and a little robot came onto the screen making my mood lift. I loved kids movies, there were so innocent and simple. Unlike the world I lived in. It was good to get lost in the story. Clint’s breathing evened out halfway through the movie as he fell asleep. I closed my eyes for a second feeling safe and comfortable. 

“Daddy.”

The couch moved as a smaller weight climbed onto it. A second later I felt a small body next to mine.

“Daddy.” Lila’s voice grew more insistent. A second later I felt a tug on my shirt. “Kari.”

“What Lila?” I asked groggily. I swear I only closed my eyes two seconds ago. It wasn’t like Lila to get up during the night. “Go back to bed, it’s too early.”

“Mommy said breakfast is ready,” Lila announced proudly. “And to get your butts off the couch.”

I opened my eyes, blinking in the bright light that assaulted my senses. The DVD menu was playing on the TV. I looked over at the clock and found it to be a little after 8am. Somehow Clint and I had rearranged ourselves during the night. He was lying behind me with an arm around my waist in a firm grip. A blanket had been thrown over us, no doubt by Laura when she found us earlier.

“Jump on Dad to wake him up,” I suggested, smothering back a yawn. I untangled myself from Clint’s strong grip. He stirred behind me, rolling over onto his stomach and pulled a cushion over his head. It was such a futile effort to ward off what was about to hit him.

Lila was more than happy to take my suggestion. As soon as I stood up, she launched herself on Clint, giggling loud enough to wake the dead. Cooper ran into the room a second later, jumping into the fray. I left the shrieking children quickly before Clint set them loose on me. The sight of Cooper and Lila on Clint’s back bouncing around trying to make him get up was adorable. I could hear Clint’s barely muffled laughter from the edge of the room. The light hearted mood of this morning was a welcome change from last night. 

I tiredly dragged myself to the bathroom to pee and wash my face. I looked at my reflection in the mirror after I splashed some water over it. I’d lost the gaunt look to my face that had plagued me just after the mission. There was some colour back in my face which helped hide the dark circles under my eyes. Physically I was looking a lot better. I just wished my mind would catch up with my body. I scrubbed a hand over my face, rubbing my stinging eyes. I had to get moving. Jared would be there in a few hours to take me back to DC. I needed to get food into me and get ready for the toddler tornado named Alexi.

Laura had an enormous mug of coffee waiting on the table for me along with a bowl of breakfast hash. She looked up at me, a smirk playing over her lips.

“Good morning,” Laura couldn’t keep the snigger out of her greeting. “You looked awfully cozy this morning. Is there something you’re not telling me?”

“Ugh, gross Laura.” I scrunched up my nose at her teasing. I knew exactly where she was going with that line of thought. I eased myself down into the chair gingerly. Sleeping on the couch had done nothing for my still sore back. “No. Just no. And on the couch? If I ever got that desperate, which I’m pretty sure I’d rather chew off my own arm than do it. I’d at least make sure it was behind a locked door.”

“What are we doing behind a locked door?” Clint’s voice made both of us jump. I looked over my shoulder to see Clint wandering into the kitchen with Cooper over his shoulder. Lila was attached to his leg, making it an awkward stumble into the kitchen. It was a ridiculously adorable sight. 

“What do you think?” Laura gave him a pointed look. I didn’t miss the lingering look she tried to hide at Clint’s sweatpants hanging off his hips. His shirt had ridden up enough to leave a strip of skin showing and you could see the happy trail down into his pants. 

Clint pulled a disgusted face as he got the meaning behind what we were talking about. He swung Cooper around into the first available chair. Cooper was laughing so hard that he could barely breathe. His face was red and tear streaked as he tried to get his breath back through his snorting laughter. Lila’s shrieks were near ear splitting as Clint tried to pry her off his leg. Laura and I were no help and the kitchen was filled with laughter as Clint did his best to get Lila off. Finally, he put his leg up on the empty chair and bounced his leg up and down, like he was trying to shake her off. Lila’s laughter was her downfall. In the moment of inattention, because she was laughing so hard, Clint managed to pry her off. 

“Someone’s been neglecting leg day,” Laura said once the laughter had died down. 

“Yeah, but I never neglect arm day.” Clint flashed Laura a charming grin as he flexed his biceps. His shirt strained under the bulging muscles. Even I had a good stare at the flexed muscles. His biceps really were magnificent and Clint knew it. 

One thing I didn’t miss was the flush of red that crossed Laura’s face as she stared at Clint’s arms. Their small interaction was probably the most positive one I’d seen since everything went to shit in their relationship. I hid my pleased smile behind taking a sip of coffee. Tiny steps of progress were better than nothing. 

Breakfast was louder than usual. It was Saturday meaning no school for the kids. Lila wanted to go riding, as she usually did. Cooper wanted to go to the river running through the back of the property for a swim. For once, the combination of the kids wants actually worked together. Laura offered to pack a picnic lunch so we could all enjoy a few hours of relaxation. 

The kid's chores had never been done so fast after breakfast. Cooper even helped Lila, something that was a rare occurrence, so we could get out the door quicker. I helped Lila saddle up Princess Penelope, avoiding the evil little shit of a pony squishing me into a fence or stomping on my feet. The pony was a saint while Lila was riding which made up for her bad habits on the ground. Once Lila and Princess Penelope were ready we all started off towards the river. The two dogs were with us, bounding ahead and barking at each other. Laura and I hung behind Lila while Clint and Cooper took the lead. Cooper was chatting Clint’s ear off about something like he usually did. The brief glimpses I caught of Clint’s face when he looked back to check on Lila were one of pure bliss. It was good to see him happy with his kids.

While I was half keeping an eye on Lila, I couldn’t help but watch Laura either. She seemed to have developed a keen interest in Clint’s ass. Though she did well to avert her gaze every time Clint glanced back. 

“You look like you want to rip his clothes off,” I couldn’t keep the comment to myself any longer. “Should I take the kids ahead so you can find a long patch of grass somewhere to throw him down so you can have your way with him?”

“Stop it,” Laura scolded me. Her cheeks went red as she averted her gaze again. “That’s not what I was thinking.”

“Four months of no sex and I’d probably be thinking the same thing,” I said casually. “He does have a nice ass.”

“It’s been two months of no sex and I wasn’t thinking about that,” Laura said quickly. She stopped mid stride, her face going even redder than before. I stopped with her, looking at her in complete surprise at the slip of the tongue.

“Wow, I did not expect that,” I managed to keep my voice level. I couldn’t stop the excitement bubbling up inside of me. “When did that happen?”

“It wasn’t with Clint.” Laura’s face went even redder than before. Like a balloon being popped, my excitement faded. “It was with a visiting surgeon at work.”

“Well, you just can’t leave it at that.” Despite my disappointment that it wasn’t with Clint, I was still curious. “Come on, details.”

Laura glanced over at Lila who was trying desperately to get Princess Penelope to trot for more than three paces at a time. The pony trotted as slowly as frozen molasses moved and came back to a walk as soon as Lila got unbalanced. She was too wrapt up in her pony to be listening to us.

“It wasn’t anything exciting,” Laura said lowly, her face still bright red. “He’d done surgery on a patient that I had stabilized in the ER and complimented me on a job well done. It was a horse riding accident and Matthew said it was because of me the kid would walk again.”

I imagined Laura would see a lot of horse riding accidents in this part of the country. There were racehorse farms everywhere. 

“I jokingly said he could buy me a coffee and he offered dinner instead,” Laura said with a small shrug. “We had a few too many glasses of wine at dinner and ended up back in his hotel room.”

“Was it good?” I couldn’t help but tease her with a grin. “I need more details than you went back to his room.”

“It was…” Laura trailed off, looking unsure of herself. “The sex itself was good. Just different. When you’ve been with the one person for so long it’s really weird being with someone else. Especially after two kids, your body isn’t what it used to be.”

I knew exactly how she felt. The sex with Gareth was good. But it was different. 

“You look amazing for having two kids,” I said truthfully. Laura really did, she was blessed to be a naturally petite person and kept herself in shape. “He was lucky to have you. Did you keep in touch?”

“A few texts here and there,” Laura said with a shrug, “He lives in Arizona so there’s no point. I’m surprised you aren’t giving me disappointed looks.”

“We all need sex.” My eyes trailed over to where Clint was. He had Cooper up on his shoulders and they were laughing about something. Lila had caught up with them and she was trying to swat Cooper from her added height in the saddle. It was an adorable picture. One that made me glad I pushed so hard for this to start happening with Clint being able to see his kids. 

Laura chewed on her lip as her gaze followed mine. I wasn’t sure if she knew about Clint’s one night stand, or if she’d even want to know about it. I sure as hell wasn’t going to be the one to tell her. Not when things were looking promising between them. 

“Thank you for bringing him home,” Laura said softly. The embarrassment was gone from her face. Now it was replaced with a sad smile. “You were right before Christmas when you said no matter what was going on between us, he’s still the father of our children and nothing would change that.”

A spark of hope flared up in me. Maybe all of this was finally starting to work to get Laura and Clint back together. 

“You don’t need to thank me for bringing him home. I would move heaven and earth to make sure he came back to you and the kids,” I said truthfully. “We all would.”

“And he’d do the same for you, Natasha and Jared as well.” Laura’s words and resigned look on her face spoke the words she couldn’t. For the second time in this conversation, I felt myself deflate. The conversation had taken a sudden swing in a direction I wasn’t going to like. “We will always come second best to his job and the people in it. I know you and Natasha are trying your best to fix things between us. I really do appreciate it.”

There was a but there. I knew it. Laura sighed heavily, her gaze shifting back to Clint. He’d put Cooper down during our conversation. Cooper and Lila were both holding onto his hand as they meandered along. Without Lila holding the reins properly, Princess Penelope was ducking her head to snatch at the grass at every opportunity. 

“When I had dinner and sex with Matthew it drove home how much I’d been craving some normality in my life,” Laura said softly, her voice hitched at the end of the sentence. I reached over and put my arm around her waist in a silent show of support. It must have given her some bravery because he voice was firmer when she spoke again. “There was no lying about who he was or sneaking me around just in case the wrong person saw us. I know this sounds horrible, but it’s easier like this. Clint comes and goes when he can. The kids accept that more than they did with him not coming home at night sometimes in DC without explanation. It’s easier to explain that the kid's Dad and I are separated to people and he works away a lot. People don’t flinch or ask questions with that. I hate that I’ve made my own life simpler but made his hell. I ripped away his family from him, the thing he holds most precious.”

“This helps him though,” I said gently to Laura. “Being able to come and spend time with you and the kids. He’s always the happiest when he knows a visit is coming up. Or he’s just been here. I know it meant the world to him when you told us to come down here to recover.”

There were no easy answers here. I knew when we were injured after Pripyat Laura was introduced as Clint’s girlfriend amongst the STRIKE members on duty. Even that Clint had been extremely uncomfortable about Laura being anywhere near anyone involved in SHIELD. Evans had been the exception, which I now knew why.

“I know.” Laura looked back to Clint, the sad smile still on her face. “I want to tell him he’s welcome to come down any time he wants to see the kids. I don’t want to give him any false hope about us though.”

“I think he’d be too happy about being allowed to see the kids whenever he wanted that he wouldn’t mind anything else,” I said tactfully. This was hard. Clint barely spoke about things between him and Laura. Not even to Natasha. I honestly had no idea what went on in his head most of the time. 

“That offer extends to you, Jared and Natasha as well,” Laura added, almost sounding shy as she looked up at me. “I’ve missed all of you and the chaos it brings.”

“We’ll be around so much we’ll annoy the shit out of you,” I said, smiling as I gave her a one armed hug. “Besides, I kind of like having Hawk as a housemate. He cooks and cleans with very little complaint. He sure beats having Jared around.”

“Coulson did a very good house training him,” Laura said with a brief laugh. The tension from before was gone. She returned the one armed hug around my waist very gently. I’m glad I could do a little bit to make this easier for everyone. Even if it was just listening to her. “Thank you for being there for him with all of this and telling me when I’m being a bitch. I needed it.”

I was getting a lot of thank you for things I didn’t need thanking for at the moment. I was only doing what any friend would. With all the emotional upheaval out of the way, Laura and I fell into an easier and lighter conversation as we walked to the river. It was warm and sticky by the time we reached the spot. Lila and Cooper both stripped off and jumped straight in, splashed us all with the cold water. Laura and Clint both joined them as I hung out on the bank with my toes in the water. 

It was a beautiful spot. The riverbank was lined with weeping willows, shading the river bank. The river itself wasn’t huge, only about ten feet across. It was deep enough that Clint was up to his shoulders in the middle of it. The air was filled with childish laughter as Cooper and Lila splashed each other. Little bits of sunlight filtered through the trees warming my skin. It was peaceful sitting here as the cool water lapped at my feet. I tipped my face up and closed my eyes. I took in a deep breath of the fresh air. Clint wasn’t the only one who needed this. I did too. As tired as I was, I at least felt more at peace. 

The familiar buzz in the air made me open my eyes. A second later Jared appeared in front of me. He hand was already stretched out for me.

“I have about 45 seconds to get you back to DC,” Jared’s tone left no room for argument. “Sorry.”

The apology was definitely added as an afterthought. Still, Jared looked stressed. He was doing me a favor and hated playing taxi with teleporting people around.

“I’ll see you guys later,” I called out to Clint’s family still playing in the water. 

Clint and Laura both waved and before I could feel bad about Lila and Cooper’s pouting faces, Jared and I were gone. We came to the spare room I was staying in and I quickly grabbed my phone. I wouldn’t need anything else tonight. Jared didn’t need to prompt me this time, I took his hand and looked at him expectedly. In a heartbeat, we were standing in our apartment in DC.

“Good hunting.” I gave Jared a quick hug before he disappeared again. His stiff posture relaxed as I wrapped my arms around him. He didn’t need to tell me he was in the middle of something important. Considering what he and Natasha had been doing, they were closing in fast. 

Jared said nothing as he hugged me back tightly. Ever since the last mission he’d been more affectionate than he had in years. Considering how close we’d come to losing each other, again, it wasn’t a surprise. I found myself enjoying the closer relationship with Jared. Even if it was something as simple as being able to hug him a little tighter for no other reason except that I missed him.

The hug was over quickly and Jared was gone before I could blink. All of a sudden the apartment was very quiet. Far too quiet. I wasn’t due at Evans’ place for another few hours but I grabbed my keys to the Kawasaki anyway. I hadn’t spent a lot of time with Alexi lately and I was missing her. I’d missed my Kawasaki too, I revved it far more the necessary as I took off out of the garage. I made it to Evans place in twenty minutes. I’d barely gotten my helmet off when Alexi came running out to me. 

“Hey Munchkin.” I grabbed her and mid stride and swung her up on the Kawasaki. She loved my motorbike and sitting up on it with me. I couldn’t wait until she was a little bit older so I could take her for some gentle rides.

“Hey Kari!” Alexi wrapped herself around me, hugging me as tightly as a toddler could. “Ready for our girls night?”

I have no idea where she got that from. It made me smile even wider than I already was. 

“We are all set for girls night.” I hugged Alexi back. “What do you want to do?”

“Rum!” Alexi announced brightly. “And cheesecake.”

“Gross, no one drinks rum. You don't like cheesecake either. Where did you get that idea from?” I laughed despite my disgust at her alcohol request.

Alexi ignored me and turned around so she could lean down onto the handlebars. She made some vroom noises as she pretended to ride the Kawasaki. I took it as a hint as held onto her tightly as I started the bike again. It roared to life underneath both of us making Alexi laugh in delight. 

“Kari!” 

Abby’s displeased tone made me switch off the bike immediately. I forgot I wasn’t meant to be encouraging anyone in their family about motorbikes. Evans had been hinting for months that he should get one to make the commute to work easier. Abby kept telling him that he’d be divorced if he brought a motorbike home.

“Oops.” Alexi craned her head back and grinned at me. 

“Oops all right.” I bopped her on the noise, making her grin spread across her face even more. “Now I’m in trouble with your Mom. Come on, let's get inside.”

I lifted Alexi off the Kawasaki, much to her disgust. I thought she was about to have a tantrum about it. The stormy look on her face was gone as soon as I got off the motorbike as well. She held her arms up to me, her smile was nothing short of angelic.

“Cheesecake? Please Kari,” she said sweetly as I swung her up into my arms. I swear three weeks ago she hated cheesecake and would only eat Mac and Cheese. She was the fussiest eater and things changed from day to day. 

“Fine, we’ll go get cheesecake.” I gave in easily. If I took her to the Cheesecake Factory at least there were other things for her to eat when she rediscovered she hated cheesecake. “Let me say hi to Mom and Dad first.”

“And Sam.”

“And Sam,” I reassured her, though I was surprised to hear he was here. After Marks’ funeral, I thought he was heading home to Detroit for a few weeks. I hadn’t had a chance to speak to him much over the last week.

Sure enough, Sam was in the kitchen with Evans and Abby. I had a feeling I’d interrupted an important conversation. Sam looked rather red eyed. Abby looked a bit upset herself and Evans was his usual stoic self.

“I found this little monster outside trying to steal my Kawasaki,” I said smoothly, hoping I didn’t make everything completely awkward. “I think she belongs to you.”

I held Alexi out in front of me which made her giggle uncontrollably. She squirmed in my grasp trying to get loose. 

“No, I’ve decided I don’t want her anymore,” Abby said looking at her daughter in pretend disgust. “She’s all yours Kari.”

“Yay!” Alexi’s cheer made everyone in the room laugh. I put her down and she immediately tore out of the room as fast as her legs could carry her. I half wondered if she’d come back with her backpack and declare she was living with me. It wasn’t the first time she’d done it.

“So why does she all of a sudden decide she liked cheesecake?” I asked as I walked around the table. I gave Sam’s good shoulder a small squeeze before I sat down. He gave me a strained smile in return. He looked terrible which wasn’t to be unexpected. His broken arm was still strapped up over his chest in a sling. The arm brace holding everything together looked itchy and uncomfortable. 

My question got met with a strangled snort of laughter from Evans. Abby turned around but not before I saw her face turning bright red. Sam and I exchanged a curious look. Oh, this should be good.

“We…” Evans trailed off to clear his throat, trying to hold back a chuckle. “We may have been trying to have some private time the other day when I thought Alexi was having a rare nap. I told her that we were eating cheesecake to make her go away because she usually detests cheesecake.”

I managed not to laugh too obnoxiously at Evans. Trust his daughter to now decide she liked cheesecake because of this. It would probably haunt him for months when it got back to his team. 

“Well, I will take the monster to the Cheesecake Factory because I’m hungry and she can rediscover that she hates cheesecake,” I said through my laughter. “Do you want me to take William early as well?”

“If you want,” Evans said, looking pleased with my offer. Maybe he was hoping to get in some cheesecake time before they went out on a date.

“Do you mind if I tag along?” Sam speaking up surprised me. He looked mildly embarrassed to be asking. “The Cheesecake Factory sounds really good.”

“Of course you can,” I said instantly. Sam didn’t really need to ask. “I’ll even pay since you’ll end up entertaining William while I keep Alexi from burning the place down.”

The would-be arsonist came bounding back into the room as soon as I said that. Her grin was nothing short of angelic as she handed me her Dora the Explorer backpack. 

“Ready to go,” Alexi said, holding her arms up. “Time for cheesecake.”

Now knowing the meaning behind the cheesecake story it took a lot of effort not to laugh uncontrollably. Abby went bright red again and made a shooing motion.

“Take my car.” Evans was failing at keeping a straight face. “I’ll go get William up.”

I picked up Alexi and snuck a look in her bag. Someone must have packed it already because she actually had clothes in it this time instead of books. Knowing Evans the car was probably packed and ready to go hours before I got here. While I was checking out Alexi’s bag, Abby came over and gave Sam a hug. Whatever she said to him was too low for me to hear but he nodded in response to it. 

“Let's go.” I bounced Alexi in my arms. “Say bye to Mom.”

“Bye.” Alexi barely looked at Abby, only waving as an automatic response. 

Abby rolled her eyes in good nature and waved back to Alexi. Now I had her no one else would be able to get a look at. It was endearing and a little bit scary sometimes. I had no idea why Alexi stuck to me so much. I thought her fascination with me might have died off as she got older. If anything it was getting stronger. 

Evans was strapping in a barely awake William in his car when we got out to the garage. William sleepily waved at me, yawning his little head off. He was growing so fast. He was crawling now and getting into everything he could find. Nothing was off limits to put in his mouth either which was gross of him. Alexi kept helping him standing up and was trying to encourage him to walk already. I pitied Abby and Evans when it finally did happen. They’d have two terrors to deal with. 

“Have a good night, let us know if you need anything,” Evans said as he straightened up. He glanced over at Sam who was gingerly lowering himself down into the car. Evans pulled me into a hug and dropped his voice so no one else could hear. “He’s not doing so great today. Don’t push and if he gets stubborn about being alone, call me right away.”

“Will do.” I hugged Evans a little tighter than normal. It had been a long, rough week for everyone. Evans was the one who had to appear like he had his shit together, more than anyone else. I don’t know how he did it. “Have a good date night.”

Evans squeezed me gently before give me a nudge towards the car. I took the hint and let go of him, climbing into the car. While I got myself organized, Evans quickly buckled Alexi while saying goodbye to both of his kids. Once he was done, I shifted the car into reverse and eased out into the afternoon sun.

Alexi talked the entire time at a million words a minute. She bounced between me and Sam, firing questions at us. She was going through a phase of asking about everything, no matter how irrelevant the detail seemed. I wasn’t surprised when the subject of Sam’s arm came up.

“Why is your arm like that Sam?” Alexi asked, not a moment after I finished explaining to her why we couldn’t leave William at home and just take her for cheesecake. 

“Because a bad man hurt me.” Sam didn’t flinch at her question, much to my relief. He looked over at me with a barely there smile. He was trying so hard to be cheerful but even I could see his heart wasn’t into it. “Kari helped me.”

I gave Sam a small, encouraging smile. There was nothing I could say to him that was going to make anything better. My nightmares were bad. I couldn’t even begin to imagine the horrors Sam was probably re-living night after night. The best I could do is give him a little bit of normality for the rest of the day. He was probably sick of people hovering around him, saying everything was going to be all right and he just needed to talk about his problems.

“Is the bad man gone?” Alexi’s questions continued. I glanced back at her to see her little brow furrowed in question. 

“Yes, he’s gone.” At least I could say that with confidence. I’d been the one to deliver to the fatal blow. All that was left of Aldon's second in command was a frozen corpse.

“Good.” The finality in that one word coming from a toddler was very odd. I could see her looking between me and Sam, still concentrating on whatever was going on in her head. It was gone as quickly as it came on. Her face brightened and I knew a subject change was about to happen. “Can we have ice cream for dinner?”

“No, we’re not having ice cream for dinner.” I fought back a sigh. I wasn’t dealing with a sugar high Alexi all evening with only Sam for help. “I’ll buy you some chicken nuggets for dinner though?”

“I don’t like nuggets,” Alexi said, the pout clear in her voice. I glanced back at her again to see her arms folded in front of her chest, her bottom lip stuck out in protest.

“You ate nuggets for lunch,” Sam said, turning around to face her. “After pleading with your Mom to have the nuggets because you didn’t want a sandwich.”

The incredulous tone in Sam’s voice made me chuckle under my breath. That was the Alexi I knew and loved. Knowing she’d been busted, Alexi broke into giggles. The smile on Sam’s face wasn’t quite as forced this time. 

“Mac and cheese?” Alexi tried to bargain. I didn’t turn around to see her this time but the laughter was clear in her voice. 

“And cheesecake,” Sam added. The small smile of his turned into an amused smirk as I snorted with laughter. I was never going to think of cheesecake the same way ever again.

“And cheesecake!” Alexi confirmed, laughing brightly. “I love cheesecake.”

I couldn’t keep a straight face any longer. I burst out laughing, Sam joining me a second later. Even William woke up enough to join in our laughter, though I’m sure he had no idea what he was laughing about. It set a much lighter mood for the rest of the car trip.

Luckily for us, the restaurant was quiet when we arrived. Sam being obviously injured and both of us trying to juggle two children got us a great table right near the door. The older waitress fawned over Alexi and William while taking our orders. William was his usual charming self, all smiles and laughs while getting the attention. It was hard to believe how big he was now. He was sitting up in the high chair these days eating semi solid food. Soon he’d be walking and talking. Alexi did her usual change of mind five times before settling on something to eat. It took a negotiation worthy of a SHIELD level one situation to get her not to order cheesecake and nothing else. Even the usual promise of sharing mine didn’t satisfy her today. Sam couldn’t stop snickering under his breath the entire time as Alexi insisted she needed her own cheesecake. 

It was a much needed break of normality. Sam’s smile was less strained by the time we’d finished. Especially after Alexi ate half of my cheesecake, declaring it to be her new favorite thing in the world. I could only roll my eyes at her while reluctantly sharing my peanut butter cheesecake. I gave it a week before she changed her mind again. Sam gave it three days. It was a beautiful afternoon so we took the kids to the park while there was a little bit of sun. Part of me wanted Alexi to burn off all the sugar she’d just eaten. But it was also nice to sit out in the warm Spring sun just enjoyed the peace and quiet of the moment. Evans always packed outdoor stuff for me when I babysat so I spread out a blanket in the sun so William could crawl around as well. Alexi was scaling like a little monkey and went straight for the play equipment she could climb on.

Sam and I didn’t speak much while the kids played. Sam seemed to be enjoying the bit of sun, like me. William was happy to crawl around on the blanket, every so often going to me or Sam, babbling up to us. William seemed especially fascinated with Sam today, spending more time with him than me. Sam would pull faces at him, making the baby boy laugh at his antics. 

“Kari, watch this!” Alexi’s high pitched voice carried across the air easily. I glanced up at her to see her making a leap from one lot of play equipment to the next before I could yell at her not to. For a second I thought she was going to make it. Her coordination didn’t quite able her to grab onto the bar she was aiming for. I heard an audible thunk as Alexi’s head connected with something. I was up and running towards her as she tumbled to the ground. 

I reached her just as she hit the ground. For a horrible second, there was nothing but silence and I thought she’d knocked herself out. Her eyes opened and there was a high pitched scream rip from her mouth. It was absolutely no comfort as Alexi started to bawl uncontrollably. 

“I’ve got you Munchkin.” I scooped her up quickly, cuddling her to my chest. The tears only came out harder as I hugged her, trying to shush her. My own heart was pounding so hard I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I’d taken my eyes off her for about two seconds to smile at William. If I hadn’t of taken my attention off her this might not have happened.

“Hurts.” It was the only word I could understand through Alexi’s sobs. I looked down and saw exactly why she was crying. There was blood pouring from a gash on her forehead.

“Fuck.” There was no stopping the curse slipping out. Having a decent look at it, the gash was nearly as wide as my pinky finger. 

“Yeah, fuck,” Alexi hiccuped through her sobs. “Hurts. Make it stop.”

I cradled her as gently as I could to my chest and ran back to Sam. He had the good sense to know something was wrong and was rummaging around in the day bag. Sam pulled out a first aid kit as I sat down with Alexi. There was no stemming her tears. She looked utterly miserable as I tried to pry her off me.

“I need to look at your cut Munchkin,” I tried to persuade her. “Please?”

Alexi shook her head, which only produced louder sobs. It must have hurt like hell shaking her head. Despite shaking her head, I managed to get a half decent look at the gash. It was deep and bleeding profusely.

“That needs stitches,” Sam said, as he managed to pry open the first aid kit one-handed. He produced a dressing without much rummaging. I was able to stick to Alexi’s cut, despite her howling protest. It made me feel like the worst person in the world for causing her more pain. “Where’s the closest hospital?”

“GW. It’s only a block away.” I knew that easily enough. This was the park Laura would often come here during her lunch break on day shifts. Natasha and I would meet her for coffee often when she worked there. “Can you hold her while I pack everything up?”

Even the mention of Alexi letting go of me made her cling even harder to me. She shook her head rapidly. I didn’t think she was able to cry any harder than she was already doing. 

“Grab a cab. I’ll get someone to come and help me and ring Evans.” Sam was cool and calm about the whole situation. His calm demeanor calmed my racing heart and mind down enough to think about this situation better. He was right, this was going to be the easiest way, even if I didn’t want to leave Sam and William here alone. “Give me your keys. Ring me when you know what’s happening.”

I wasn’t able to get Alexi off me so I put my hip in Sam’s reach. He took the hint and grabbed the keys out of my pocket. With a shove in the direction of the road, I took off as fast as my legs would carry me. Alexi’s sobs didn’t die down the entire way. If anything she was crying just as hard as when it first happened. Luck was on my side as I found a cab waiting on the side of the road. 

“GW Hospital please,” I said as I slid into the cab. The female cab driver visibly jumped at my sudden appearance in the back of her car. 

“I’m…” she started to argue but trailed off as she took in the sight in the back. The dressing on Alexi’s head was starting to turn red. I’m sure I looked like a harried mess as I tried to comfort the toddler in my arms. “Oh hunny, hang on we’ll get you there.”

I could have kissed the middle aged woman’s sudden change of mood. She wasted no time in pulling into the traffic and pushing the speed limit along the city road. In any other circumstance, the drive would have been terrifying. The driver did everything in her power to get us there as quickly as possible. The cutting in and out of the afternoon traffic shaved at least five minutes off our travel time. She managed to get us right to the door of the emergency entrance.

“No charge. Poor little thing,” her voice was full of sympathy. “Hope everything goes well.”

I glanced at the name on the dashboard. Elvie Taylor. I didn’t have time to argue with her about paying right now. I’d make sure she got something later for her kindness.

“Thank you so much,” I said in a gush as I climbed out of the car. Alexi clinging to me was starting to kill my ribs and back. There was no prying her off me. The dressing was soaked through now and there was a stain of blood on my shirt. Alexi’s pained sobs had thankfully died down into hiccups, though she was still crying. 

The waiting room was absolutely packed. I was taken back by the number of people here on a Saturday afternoon. I wasn’t the only here with a crying child. At least there was no line up to see the triage nurse.

“Alexi Evans,” I didn’t even let the woman ask any questions. The nurse behind the glass looked at me with a raised eyebrow. “She hit her head and fell off some play equipment she was climbing on.”

I turned Alexi as best as I could, gently peeling away the blood soaked dressing. The gaping head wound was quite impressive. Alexi had certainly cracked her head with some force. Alexi entire body went rigid and her face scrunched up before a fresh round of tears came from her. If I didn’t already feel bad enough, that made me feel like the worst person in the world. 

“Ouch.” Even the nurse cringed at the sight of it. She glanced around the waiting room and then back down to her computer. “We are packed but give me a moment. I’ll try and find you somewhere a little quieter at least.”

The nurse gave me a second look, her gaze lingering and brow furrowed like she was trying to remember something. She didn’t say anything further though and quickly left her station. I breathed a sigh of relief, gently hugging Alexi. Two understanding people this afternoon was more than I could have hoped. 

She was back in less than a minute, motioning for me to go to one of the doors. She met me at the door and opened it wider for me. I could feel the glare of people as Alexi and I went straight through. I didn’t doubt there were people out there waiting for hours. 

“I have a spare bed in resus,” the nurse sounded apologetic as she led us down a long corridor. “I can’t promise a doctor getting to you any quicker but it will be quieter than the waiting room. We’ve put out a call for any spares hands right now. It’s been a busy day.”

I recognized the weariness in her tone easily. It was the same one Laura had after a challenging or busy day at work.

“I really appreciate it, thank you.” I put as much sincerity in my voice as I was capable of right now. I really hoped Evans was going to get here soon, as much as I hated ruining date night for them, I needed him right now. “Her parents will probably here in half an hour. Can you let them know?”

“Of course.” The nurse agreed right away. She glanced back at me again, curiosity was clear on her face. “Sorry for asking, but you work with Laura Smith’s partner don’t you?”

It took me a second to remember Laura used her maiden name at work. 

“Yep, and yes that was me who arrived in a rather spectacular fashion in the emergency room last year as well,” I added. No doubt that was where the nurse was going with her questioning. Thank god for someone knowing Laura being on today. It just made my life a lot easier.

“I thought you looked familiar,” the nurse said with a smile. “Now that was an interesting day at work. Here’s your room. I’ll put another dressing on her head.”

The nurse stopped at a curtain and pulled it back. I was grateful to sit on the bed and I tried to gently get Alexi to let go of me.

“Come on Munchkin, the lovely nurse needs to put something on your head to make you feel better,” I said, trying to pry Alexi’s fingers off my shirt. “It’ll be really quick and then I promise you we can have ice cream for dinner.”

“No.” Alexi’s voice was muffled in my shirt. Even with the promise of ice cream for dinner, Alexi wasn’t letting go. I was going to need some strong liquor after this. Fighting Alexi was only going to end up in her screaming.

“How about I change it then?” I tried a different tactic. Sometimes Alexi would let me do things no one else could. 

“It hurts,” Alexi whimpered, burying her face into my shirt.

“I know it does Munchkin.” My heart tugged at hearing her sound so miserable. “I hit my head too a few weeks ago. Putting a new bandaid on it will help it though.”

“Like Sam’s arm?” Alexi’s voice was so muffled I could barely understand her. “He has a big bandaid.”

“Like Sam’s arm.” I suppose you could call Sam’s arm brace a big bandaid. It's a shame he didn't have a cast on. I'd take great delight in drawing on it. “Can I do it?”

The nurse was standing there with a sympathetic look during my negotiation. She looked older than me and wore a wedding ring around a chain on her neck. It wouldn’t be a surprise if she knew exactly what I was going through with negotiating with a toddler. When Alexi finally nodded her consent, the nurse wasted no time in getting a fresh dressing for me. I was very grateful the nurse wasn’t stuck in her ways, insisting that she had to be the one to do it. 

As careful as I was, I still made Alexi cry when I put the new dressing on her head. Her new bout of tears sent her face back into my shirt as she bawled her little heart out. I felt close to tears myself as I hugged her, apologising over and over again for hurting her. The nurse slipped out while I was trying to comfort Alexi with only a smile.

Alexi sob’s gradually died down to nothing but tears. Even though she’d stopped sobbing, tears still stained my shirt. There was no prying her off me this time. I sat on the bed, cuddling her close and waited. Every minute felt like it was an hour long. I managed to get my phone out of my pocket, but even the promise of reading a book to Alexi wasn’t enough to get her to stop crying. She was so miserable and there was nothing I could do but wait. What felt like an eternity later, but in reality, it was only fifteen minutes, I heard hushed voices near our curtain.

“Please? I know you’ve already done six hours of overtime but she’s only a little girl who has a nasty head wound. I just need you to at least stitch it while waiting for the x-rays and CT scan.”

The voice was the nurse who let us through right away. Whoever she was pleading with let out a loud and aggravated sigh. The long pause felt like an hour before the curtain was pulled back. 

Just when I thought this day couldn’t get any worse, the universe swiftly reminded me it could.

The doctor was Greg.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger! No, really I am. I wanted to fit it all into one chapter but it got far too big already. 
> 
> So, bad news as well. Updates are going to get a little spotty again. I have mid-semester exams coming up, along with two assignments that I really need to concentrate on. I've been doing a lot of writing on the train to Uni, so I'm hoping that will keep up the updates. But I can't promise anything.
> 
> Thank you for the comments and kudos! You guys are amazing. I forgot to mention here, but I wrote a little AU one shot on my Tumblr IceDragoness1. I've also got a Facebook page under the same name which I post updates and other little bits and pieces on. Feel free to reach out to me on any of these platforms. I love hearing from my readers.


	79. Chapter 79

I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to run from the room or get up and smack Greg in the face. The pure shock of seeing him again kept me firmly rooted in place on the bed. All the colour disappeared from Greg’s face as he stared at me. He recovered quicker than me, shaking his head as he walked over to the bed.

“Hey Alexi,” Greg said gently, putting his hand on Alexi’s back. “Remember me?”

Alexi sniffed loudly as she looked around. She frowned at Greg then looked back up at me.

“Brownies?” Alexi questioned. Her confused statement shook me from the horror of seeing Greg again.

“That’s right, Greg used to make us brownies.” It was surprisingly hard to keep a level tone. I plastered a fake smile on my face. “And ice cream.”

My mention of ice cream nearly made the cool, professional demeanour of Greg slip. This must have been as uncomfortable for him as it was for me. After all this time, I couldn’t believe it was now that I had to run into him. The wound of Greg’s rejection hadn’t quite closed over yet.

“Can I have a look at your head?” Greg asked patiently, his own smile looked as fake as mine. He glanced up at me as I finally managed to pry Alexi off my shirt and turn her around in my lap. “How did she do it?”

“She’s a little monkey and thought she could jump from one lot of play equipment to the other.” I could deal with telling Greg the facts. As long as we could keep to the facts then this might not be completely awkward and horrible. “She missed.”

“Yeah,” Alexi said with a loud sniff. Her face was red and blotchy from crying so much. “Missed and went oh fuck. Hit the ground.”

“I see your potty mouth hasn’t improved,” Greg looked like he was having a hard time keeping a straight face at Alexi’s honest statement. He grabbed a pair of gloves and went to the dressing on Alexi’s head. Her face scrunched up in discomfort before Greg even touched her. I knew there were about to be tears again. Greg paused, pulling away from her with a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry Munchkin, this is going to hurt. Can you be a brave girl for Kari?”

It was a clever move on Greg’s part. Alexi would never agree to be brave for herself. Adding me to it would give her an incentive not to cry. Or at least try not to cry. Alexi nodded, though her little face still stayed scrunched up in displeasure. She must have been in so much pain. I felt terrible for her being hurt. 

Greg didn’t waste any time in getting the dressing off. Alexi whimpered in protest as he pulled it off in one swift motion. Alexi gripped my arms as hard as she could as Greg gently examined the gash on her forehead.

“She did a good job of it,” Greg said, looking up at me with a wince. “It needs stitches and I’d want an x-ray and CT scan as well, just to make sure she didn’t fracture anything. Are you babysitting?”

“I was and I just ruined date night.” Part of me wanted to ignore the small talk. Greg didn’t have any right to know what I was doing in my life. He could have also turned around and walked out when he saw it was me. It was odd that he was even in the emergency room right now. I never thought he’d come back to emergency willingly. Despite myself, I started explaining the whole story. “I took Sam and the kids to the Cheesecake Factory for a late lunch and we were at the park when it happened. You know the one near the burger joint?”

“Lucky you were close by.”

I could have sworn Greg’s cheeks had gotten a red shade before he turned away. He rummaged around in the supply cabinet next to the bed so I couldn’t see his face clearly. I hadn’t meant to bring up that burger place. It had been where Greg brought dinner over that night before he walked out.

“I know,” I said, feeling awkward again. “Sam has a broken arm, so he told me to go with Alexi and he’d get someone to help him with William and Evans got there.”

Greg’s face was a normal shade when he turned back around with his hands full of stitching supplies. Alexi whimpered in my arms, squirming away from the scary look instruments on the tray. For once, I was glad for her distraction to the minefield of a discussion I just put out there. 

“It’s okay Munchkin,” I quickly reassured her. “Remember when I had stitches? It’ll be like that. We can match.”

I didn’t miss Greg’s questioning look or his eyes roaming over my body like he was checking for visible injuries. I ignored his lingering gaze as I tried to stop Alexi from squirming. My words had done nothing to reassure her at all. I could feel a tantrum about to happen.

“You know,” Greg spoke up before Alexi’s squirming could turn into a full-on tantrum. “I think I have some brownies in the fridge. How about once I finish your stitches, we go get the brownies while you wait for that x-ray?”

Alexi loved anything Greg used to bake. His brownies had been the things to finally win her over. She stopped squirming, her little face a mask of concentration as she sat there debating her choices.

“Can we have ice cream for dinner and brownies?” Alexi asked, her voice still thick from the tears.

“All the ice cream you want,” I reassured her. I’d deal with her sugar high all night long if it kept her quiet and still right now. “How about you close your eyes? It will be over before you know it.”

The extra bribery of brownies seemed to work. Alexi nodded as she closed her eyes. She lent back into my chest, her hands gripping my jeans. 

Greg didn’t stop to reassure either of us. He took Alexi’s closing her eyes as a quick acceptance of what was about to come. He moved in with the local anaesthetic and set to work. Nothing was going to prepare Alexi for the sharp sting of the needle. She jerked in surprise, a cry piercing the air as the needle injected her. She flung herself back, trying to get away from it. Unluckily for me, her elbow landed directly on my broken rib.

I saw stars and I couldn’t breathe. I barely stopped myself from dropping Alexi as the pain radiated through my side. Fucking broken ribs were the worst. Strong hands steadied me on the bed as I tried to breath through the pain. I vaguely felt Alexi tugged at my shirt, no doubt apologising for what she just did. It took a long minute before I could gain enough breath in my body again. I found Greg bent down in front of me keeping me steady on the bed. 

“Which rib did you break?” Greg didn’t beat around the bush with his question.

“Sixth.” There no was point lying. “Crashed a Quinjet three weeks ago.”

“Can I poke it to make sure Alexi didn’t do any major damage?” Greg asked, his tone cautious. I could see it clearly on his face that he wanted to ask me more questions. “After I finish doing her stitches.”

I nodded my consent, straightening myself on the bed again. Alexi crawled back into my lap, giving me a pitiful look.

“Sorry.” Her bottom lip stuck out and she looked ready to cry again.

“It’s okay Munchkin.” I gave her a hug. A very gentle and tentative hug so I didn’t disturb my now aching side. “Just try and sit still this time?”

Alexi nodded and turned back around. She closed her eyes shut and had her face scrunched up in concentration. Without wasting any time, Greg tried again. The local anaesthetic made her cry but she sat still while Greg did it.

“You’re so brave,” Greg praised her when he was done. Alexi looked up at him with a watery smile. I didn’t doubt there’d be more tears to come. At least her head wouldn’t hurt quite as bad in a minute. “That definitely deserves brownies and ice cream.”

At the mention of brownies and ice cream, the tears evaporated quickly. Alexi looked back at me with a more genuine smile. She was such a mess. There was blood all down the side of her face. Her eyes were red from crying so much. But her smile made a very shitty situation a lot better. 

I had to give it to Greg. He got the gash stitched up in record time. The tiny and neat stitches made me slightly envious. Alexi’s gash would probably barely scar with how nearly Greg sewed it up, unlike my side. Then again, three stitches were easier to do than the ridiculous amount I had closing me up. I’d tried counting them and gave up after 45 when it got too hard to see them. 

“You’ve been my best patient all day,” Greg said to Alexi brightly. “How about I look at Kari and make sure she’s okay? Then I’ll get the brownies.”

Alexi quickly climbed off my lap, leaving me no choice but to lift my shirt up obediently. I didn’t miss the sharp intake of breath from Greg as he got a full look at the scar. My entire torso was still discoloured from the extensive bruising. Most of it had faded to a ghastly yellow now. It still stood out plainly against my pale skin.

“Is that?” Greg couldn’t even finish the sentence. 

“A long story?” I skirted around the subject. “Yeah, a very long one.”

One I wasn’t sure if I wanted to tell him. Greg took the hint immediately and gently probed around my broken rib. It hurt like hell, but no more than usual. Alexi hadn’t done any lasting damage. 

“Nothing is out of place,” Greg said as he pulled away. He hesitated, his eyes locking onto the scar again before I covered myself with my shirt again. “That looks like it was a near miss.”

“You have no idea how much of a near miss it was.” I wanted to be angry with Greg and tell him to fuck off. He’d really hurt my feelings when I was vulnerable. I couldn’t bring myself to be angry with the person who’d just helped Alexi out. I cleared my throat, feeling uncomfortable at Greg’s close proximity. “So, do I get a brownie too for being a good patient?”

“Kari…” Greg started, blowing out a frustrated sigh. He didn’t get to finish the sentence. The curtain got yanked open and Abby rushed in. Evans wasn’t far behind her, limping along on his crutches.

“Oh my god, Alexi you silly goose,” Abby sounded close to tears. She picked up Alexi, hugging her close. Alexi squirmed, wrinkling her nose in displeasure at Abby’s affection. “You scared the life out of us. Are you all right Kari?”

Abby spoke in such a rush I barely understood her. She pulled me into a hug as well, making me grunt in discomfort as she hit a tender spot.

“Sorry, sorry.” Abby quickly apologised, pulling away. She turned around to face Greg, probably to thank him. But she stopped short, blinking in surprise. “Oh. Wow, this is awkward.”

Thank you, Abby, for being Queen Obvious. It was the understatement of the century. Evans was standing back, leaning against the wall looking less than amused at who was in here with me. They both knew the story behind Greg and had similar opinions to Natasha. That he was an asshole for doing what he did and I deserved better. 

“I’ll go get those promised brownies,” Greg seemed to fumble for the excuse. He could barely look Evans in the eye. The silence that followed him out of the room was incredibly awkward. Evans didn’t bother to cover the glower he sent in Greg’s direction. As much as Greg was trying to pretend he was ignoring it, I’d be shrinking under Evans stare as well. Just before he left the room, Greg straightened up and turned around. “Actually, can I talk to you for a minute Kari? In private.”

I had to give it to Greg, it took a lot of balls to stand up and ask that right now. Especially in the company he was in. I wanted to say no. To let that part of our friendship be done and dusted. But I was too curious for my own good. I wanted to know what I’d done so wrong to make him walk out like that. 

“Lead the way.” I had nothing clever to say. I could have been a bitch and told him he could say whatever he needs to in front of everyone. However he’d just helped Alexi and I owed him for that if nothing else. My own curiosity wasn’t going to be satisfied to let this go now.

I followed Greg through the twists and turns of the hospital. We finally came to an empty office which Greg let me into. He locked the door behind him, further raising my curiosity. Greg walked around to stand in front of me, looking awkward and nervous.

“I have no idea where to start,” Greg said nervously, twisting his hands in front of him. “I imaged this to be a lot less awkward when I kept playing this scenario in my head. When you didn’t return my calls I…”

“You never called.” There was no keeping the hurt out of my voice as I threw the accusation at him. “When I finally got my phone back on you were the first person who I looked for and there was nothing from you. Not a fucking text or anything.”

The silence that followed my angry statement was deafening. Greg stared at me with a look of horror on his face.

“I called you about thirty times over the next two days,” Greg said quietly, swallowing hard. “Then I ran into Laura who said you were on a mission and probably wouldn’t be back for a week or so. I left a few voicemails for you to call me back. Here.”

Doubt gripped me as I stared at Greg. There was a small part of my mind telling me to believe him. When I thought about it now, Gareth’s phone calls hadn’t shown up on my new phone either. His text messages had. I didn’t have any voicemails with my new phone. Greg’s hands shook as he reached into his pockets and pulled out his cell. His fingers fumbled across the screen until he came upon whatever he was going to show me. He turned the phone screen around for me to look. Sure enough, the call history was there. Next to my name, there were the numbers telling me that Greg wasn’t lying. He really had called. A lot.

“I didn’t want to send you a text,” Greg admitted with an attempt at a smile. The blank look I gave him quickly wiped it off his face. “I wanted to explain to you in person why things happened. When you never called or texted back, I thought you were too mad at me so I never reached out again.”

Fuck me, this had been one big misunderstanding. If I’d taken Mom’s advice at Thanksgiving and reached out to him, I would have had some closure instead of letting this wound fester. Though, this still didn’t explain why he walked out on me in the first place.

“So, why did you do it?” I wasn’t even close to forgiveness yet. I needed answers to why everything went to shit between us that night.

“Did you know I was discharged from the Army because of PTSD?” Greg asked hesitantly. 

“Greg, my best friends are spies and the biggest snoops in the world.” I barely refrained from rolling my eyes at him. “Of course I knew that. “

“Right.” Greg looked extremely uncomfortable. Whatever he was about to tell me, he looked ashamed of. He took in a few deep breaths through his nose before he kept speaking. “I was out on patrol when the car in front of us was hit by an IED. The two medics with me ran out to help them and I’d forgotten my trauma pack, so I ran back to grab it from the Humvee.”

My gut twisted at the haunted look on Greg’s face. I had a fair idea of where this story was going.

“The two medics were killed by another IED. If I hadn’t of forgotten my trauma pack, I would have died with them,” Greg’s voice dropped as he looked away from me. “I couldn’t do it after that. Every time I had to step out of the car, I froze. All I kept seeing was my friends die over and over again in my mind. The Army worked out pretty quickly I was fucked and discharged me.”

I knew the exact pain Greg was going through. I took a tentative step forward and wrapped Greg into a hug. He stiffened in my arms before relaxing and ever so gently returned the hug. It was only brief but it seemed to give him the courage he needed to continue.

“Going to college was meant to be a good distraction for me,” Greg said with a scoff, shaking his head at whatever memory was going through his mind. “The stress of it all only made me find ways to cope. Very unhealthy ways of coping. Mostly drinking and mixing prescription drugs.”

My mind went back to that night Greg came over to my place. He’d had an accident off his bicycle and had some serious road rash on his arm. I remember him saying he’d taken a handful of codeine and I’d joked with him about being a bad patient when I gave him a beer. 

“I used to do some really stupid shit when I was drunk or high, it depends on what I was mixing with my alcohol.” Greg looked so ashamed. He wouldn’t look me in the eye again while he spoke and kept wringing his hands as if it was distracting him. “One of them was sleeping around. I’d fuck any girl who showed me half an interest. I wasn’t always smart about it either.”

The piece of the puzzle that was Greg were rapidly falling into place. No wonder he freaked out when we were making out. He’d had a few beers that night and combined with his painkillers it would have brought back some horrific memories.

“What made you stop?” I asked tentatively. "You seem to have your life together pretty well now."

“My fourth, or fifth visit for STD testing in as many months at the college clinic,” Greg said with a defeated sigh. “The doctor there sat me down and told me I needed to start making some better choices in my life or I was going to self destruct. She knew exactly what I was doing and gently pushed me in the direction of some help. I hated all the self help and groups bullshit but I managed to find a healthier distraction, cycling actually, and started to pull my life around.”

“So, that night?” I didn’t know how to phrase the few hundred questions that were going through my mind. 

“That night was something I want to apologise for freaking out without an explanation,” Greg said quickly. He then stopped, hesitating on what was coming next. “But what happened before the freak out was unexpected but not unwanted. I know…”

Greg had to catch himself, swallowing hard at whatever he was trying to say got stuck. I waited patiently for him to find the words for what he was going to say. 

“I know about Riley and I also know I could never come close to the expectations you’d have after someone like him,” Greg continued. “It didn’t stop me getting feelings though. I have so much baggage you don’t need that complication in your life. When I thought you weren’t talking to me out of anger, I decided it was probably for the best. I’d probably only end up disappointing you. Or things would crash and burn very spectacularly.”

“You aren’t a disappointment,” I said to Greg, as gently as I could. This was complicated because I knew he was right in that things would probably crash and burn in a spectacular way. We were on different wave lengths and there was no changing that. The whole him not living up to someone like Riley was a subject I couldn’t even begin to touch on. “We’re just two ships passing in the night I guess.”

There wasn’t going to be any fixing this. My heart sunk as I realised it. It had been too long and things had festered beyond the point of repair. Greg’s disappointment was clear but there was also relief on his face. As much as getting some closure was hurtful, it was good to finally put this to rest. 

“Still, I’m sorry for how things ended. I wish I could stick around to fix this.” Greg said, this time he was able to give me some kind of smile. I tilted my head, looking at him curiously. “I passed my surgical exams and got a residency at the Hospital for Special Surgery in New York. I leave at the end of next week.”

“Hey, that’s awesome news.” There was no faking my excitement for him. It was the same hospital that fixed Jared’s ankle. Being the leading orthopaedic hospital in the country was going to do wonders for Greg’s career. “You’ll be an orthopaedic surgeon in no time making your fortune."

“I still have to make it through the residency first then pay off my student loans,” Greg said dryly. His smile was looking more genuine as he spoke. His expression turned shy as he smiled at me. “I’m glad I ran into you.”

“Me too.” Even though the outcome was still losing a friend, I had closure now. It was only a small bit off my current emotional load but it was better than nothing. I could have been a bitch and held this against him. What was the point though? I was only hurting myself if I kept being bitter and angry over a situation that wasn’t going to change. “And thank you for helping with Alexi. I would have understood if you’d walked away.”

“You’re welcome.” Greg relaxed even further at my easy acceptance. “She’s grown up so much. Tell the little Munchkin to stop being a daredevil.”

“Yeah that will never happen,” I said with a small laugh. “She looks up to me far too much.”

“There are far worse role models out there than you,” Greg laughed with me. “I’ll go grab her brownies. Hopefully, her scans won’t be too far away. I’ll also see if I can charm the radiographer to move her up the list if it’s going to be a while.”

“Thank you. Again.” I said, putting as much gratitude as I could into those two words. Despite everything going on between us, Greg was still a good person. Maybe in another time and life, things might have been different between us.

There wasn’t much else to say. Greg left and came back with the promised brownies. They were still as good as I remembered them and it took all of my self control to leave some for Alexi. I filled him in on some of her antics while we walked back to her room. It was a safe enough subject and kept the conversation from straying to anything too awkward. As we got back, Alexi was ready for her x-rays and scans. Greg had done wonders to get her through in record time considering how busy the emergency room was. Greg left me alone to make sure he could look at the results as soon as they were done. Alexi’s x-ray and CT scan were both clear and she was cleared to go home. Alexi was delighted to have her promised brownies and thanked Greg sweetly through her mouthful of chocolate. After only an hour in the emergency room, we were going home.

This time Greg didn’t have to ask to speak to me in private. Abby pushed Evans out of the room before he could argue about Greg and I having a moment alone. The only thing taking the edge of Evans glare was the fact Greg helped Alexi. The awkwardness of this goodbye didn’t need an audience. 

“Take care of yourself,” Greg said to me as soon as we were alone again. “Don’t be one of my patients in New York.”

“Believe me, I’ve already had enough injuries for this year,” I said dryly, though I was smiling. “Have a good move and good luck with everything.”

Greg reached forward and gave me a brief hug. I closed my eyes, returning the hug. Goodbyes sucked. I was glad to put this all behind me though. There wasn’t anything else to say to each other. Nor was there any point of drawing out the inevitable. As soon as we finished embracing, I said my final goodbye and left.

I didn’t have the heart to look back. Losing a friend really sucked sometimes. No matter how much closure you got from it. 

There wasn’t much time for me to dwell on it. Alexi was extra clingy to me after her little mishap so I spent the week in DC with her. Sam surprised me by spending the entire time with us as well. He spent the nights in the spare room and I’d sleep on the pullout couch. Or try to. No matter how exhausted I was, sleep kept eluding me. The constant barrage of nightmares would jolt me awake every single night. During the night Sam would come downstairs and find me sitting up watching TV. Neither of us would say anything, I’d simply scoot over to make room for him. He wasn’t the only one to join me on the couch either. Evans would come down some nights and sit in the recliner until his absence would rouse Abby’s from sleep. She’d either come down and take him back to bed or join us by falling asleep in Evans lap while we all sat up watching terrible late night TV. None of us would talk about our nightmares. There wasn’t much reason to, we’d all seen with our own eyes what we dreamed of. There was no reason for me to be back at work just yet so I spent my days with Alexi and William. The only time I went in was for a session with Andrew which went nowhere, despite his careful prodding. I felt bad for Andrew, I normally wasn’t a pain in the ass but this session had me clammed right up. My only saving grace was at the end of the session I apologised to Andrew for being a pain in the ass. My apology was probably the only thing saving me from a padded cell right now.

I was exhausted and not in the mood for a party. The only thing keeping me going for the opening of the new Stark Tower in New York was that I hadn’t seen Pepper in a long time. She’d even offered me a room to stay in for the night and a lift from my parents to make my life easier. I simply couldn’t say no to her after she as going out of her way to help. My semi-good mood today was the two people sitting on my bed helping me pick out a dress. Natasha and Jared had finished their mission this morning. Both were very hyped and looking pleased with themselves. It was good to have their energy around. Even if Natasha had just scrunched up her face for the fifth time I showed her a dress.

“What’s wrong with this one?” I asked, sighing in over exaggerated exasperation. 

“It makes you look even more flat chested than you already are,” Jared piped up first, being extremely unhelpful. He was hanging upside down over the edge of my bed as he watched me rummage through my closet.

“I am flat chested,” I pointed out with a barely contained snort of laughter. It had been such a weird week. I kept thinking each day was going to bring on an emotional breakdown. Here I was, still trudging through life one foot in front of the other. Natasha gave Jared a kick for his comment but didn’t say anything to disagree with either of us.

“Yeah but that makes it look worse.” Jared’s face was started to turn red from him being upside down. He looked ridiculous but it was keeping a smile on my face. “What’s wrong with that sparkly blue cocktail dress next to it?”

I wrinkled my nose as I looked at the suggested dress. I wasn’t even sure where it came from, I had no memory of buying it. The midnight blue dress with glitter embossing over the top was very pretty. I was worried about the last yellow tinges of bruising being visible around my shoulders and chest with the thin straps. I pulled the dress out and had a good look at it. The dress was too skimpy to be one of Natasha’s that I might have borrowed for some reason. I had a nagging feeling that it had been planted there by one of them. 

“I don’t remember buying this dress.” I glanced at the two innocent faces on my bed. My nagging suspicion became louder as they both shrugged at the exact same time. 

“I think you brought it when we went to the racing carnival after our 21st birthday?” Jared suggested looking far too innocent in all of this. “Remember?”

My mind stretched back to the last time I’d been to the races. It had been Belmont Stakes race that year for some weird reason. We’d gotten incredibly drunk off champagne and somehow managed to get into the VIP area. It had been a fun day even if I did have my suspicions Jared had been there for work. I had no idea what horse run that year, or even if I’d watched any of the races. There was a vague recollection of buying two dresses that year before I settled on a skimpy silver dress on the actual day.

“I’m pretty sure I was going through a red phase then.” I shot Jared a suspicious look. “Not blue. What are you planning?”

“Nothing.” Jared’s beaming smile did nothing to erase any suspicion. Neither did Natasha’s knowing smirk. “I like the blue dress. Don’t you Tasha?”

“I vote the blue dress too,” Natasha nodded quickly. “Wear some sparkly makeup with it too. You’ll look amazing.”

I smiled despite knowing I was being led to something they were plotting. It was good to have them home. Especially after running into Greg and having a shitty week with the never ending onslaught of nightmares. Both of them had been surprised at the story about Greg, but supportive. Natasha reassured me I’d done the right thing by walking away and not trying to make the friendship work again. Greg admitting he had feelings was only going to make things too complicated and it wasn’t worth him getting hurt over. The only thing that would make this perfect if Clint was with us. He was spending some time with Lila and Cooper while Laura had to go into work for a few hours. 

“Blue dress it is.” If there was one thing I trusted Jared with, it was his impeccable taste in clothing. “What else have you snuck into my closet in the hopes I wouldn’t notice?”

“Nothing but I did sneak in an invitation to the party tonight,” Jared said smoothly, if he was he was saying wasn’t going to get a reaction from me. “I’m wearing a navy suit, so we’ll look nice together.”

“Why are you coming to the party with me?” I said sharply. I knew I shouldn’t bite because Jared was trying to poke a reaction out of me. He’d been very successful in doing it. “And how did you manage to work that?”

“Because I want to drink expensive champagne and have fun.” Jared wasn’t the least bit perturbed about my snappy tone. “I went through your phone and got Pepper’s number. She thinks I’m charming and would love to meet me.”

“You’re an asshole.” There was no arguing with Jared about this. Judging by Natasha’s silence I had a feeling there was more to this than Jared was letting on. I had a nagging suspicious there had been some concerned parties speaking with each other and it had been decided I shouldn’t be by myself. The longer I went without processing anything that had happened on that mission meant I was at risk of breaking down big time when it all came to head. I may as well roll with this instead of getting upset over it.

“Yeah but I’m an asshole who loves you.” Jared flashed me a charming smile. It only made me roll my eyes at him. “Besides, who else would dress you if I wasn’t around? You’d wear sweatpants to events like this if it wasn’t for me.”

“My clothes collection says otherwise,” I replied dryly, eyeing off my wardrobe. It was bursting at the seams due to me being lazy and not doing my usual clean out. I had a bad habit of buying new clothes for special occasions rather than re-wearing the things I already had. Especially now I made more money than I ever did in the Air Force. I really needed to stop buying so many clothes. “Since you’re both dressing me. What shoes am I wearing?”

Natasha jumped off the bed, looking happy at my easy acceptance. She went straight for my shoe rack and started rummaging around. She’d been very quiet today, letting Jared do most of the talking. I couldn’t tell if something was on her mind or she was simply tired. 

“These ones.” Natasha’s rummaging didn’t take long. She produced a simple pair of silver heels. “And I’m borrowing these.”

The pair of red pumps in Natasha’s hands were ridiculously high. I could barely walk in them but I loved the look of them. I used them more for bedroom shoes than anything else because of how impractical they were to wear. With the mischievous twinkle in her eye, I knew Natasha’s plans for tonight.

“Tell Sam if he breaks them he buys them.” I took the offered practical shoes for me. “Other than that, I don’t think I want to know.”

I hoped whatever Natasha was planning tonight would cheer Sam up. Due to her mission, her text messages to me had been sparse and near non-existent to Sam. While he understood she was busy, I’m sure it wasn’t helping his mood right now.

“Yes, please keep the details to yourself,” Jared said with a disgusted look on his face. He glanced down at his watch to ignore the dirty look Natasha sent him. “I’m going to go pack. Get your shit together Kari so we can go.”

I glanced at my own watch as Jared teleported to his room. He was right, as much as I hated him being right. If we didn’t leave soon, I’d have no time to get ready for tonight.

“I’m going to go too.” Natasha got up off the bed, stretching as she stood up. “Have fun tonight.”

There was definitely something going on. Natasha looked very pleased with whatever she and Jared were plotting. Despite the knowing look she gave me, I went over and gave her a quick hug before she could leave. I had missed her a lot over the last few weeks. 

“You too,” I couldn’t keep the mischievous tone out of my voice. “I’ll see you when we get home on Monday.”

Natasha hugged me a little tighter, lingering in the embrace. She’d never come outright and say it but I knew she felt guilty for not being there on the mission. It’s why she and Jared had spent the last few weeks tracking down some of the responsible parties for supplying Aldon. Even though it was sanctioned hits, it was still revenge. Something I wasn’t going to deny her or Jared. If I was less injured I would have wanted to be in on the action too.

When Natasha left, I finished packing for the weekend. Mom had told me to pack something nice for where ever we were going to dinner tomorrow night for our birthday dinner. Something nice left my options far too open so I ended up throw in a few different changes of clothes. Jared came back into the room just as I was zipping my bag up. 

“Ready?” Jared asked, offering me his elbow. He had his hands full with his own suit and clothes bag.

“As I’ll ever be.” I quickly picked up my belongings and took Jared’s offered arm. In the next second, we were standing in the lounge room of my parent's house.

There was always something nostalgic about coming home. We’d lived in the same house all our lives and not much had changed over the years. Mom had the occasional bouts of redecorating and getting new furniture but things still stayed in the same place. The house was quiet, as it usually was at this time of an afternoon. Mom would always get home before Dad but it was rare to see her home before 1730. It was a good thing I was always a well behaved kid throughout high school. There had been so many opportunities for me to run wild in those few spare hours after school without my parents being around. I never did. I’d catch the subway and bus home, then do my homework before either of them got home. 

“Come on, let's get ready,” Jared said, jolting me from my thoughts. “I can’t wait to see what kind of a party Stark throws. Dibs on the ensuite.”

As tired as I was, Jared’s excitement was starting to rub off. It would be good to see Pepper again and the free food and booze for the night should make up for dealing with Tony. I rolled my eyes at him calling dibs on my parent's bathroom. There was no use arguing about things like that. He’d be up there and have the door locked before I could reply. Like the mischievous child he could be, Jared was gone before I could open my mouth. 

I made my way upstairs to my old bedroom, dumping my clothes on the bed and hanging up what I needed to before heading to the bathroom. My room hadn’t changed since I moved out of home. There was still fighter jet posters plastered on the wall, along with the occasional boy band and male celebrity posters. My bookshelf had framed certificates and the occasional trophy as well. It was like any other teenagers room. It’s funny to look back at how innocent life was back then. When my biggest worry was my grades and not embarrassing myself during PE. Life was a lot different now.

There wasn’t much time for me to linger on my childhood memories. I grabbed my make up bag and went to the bathroom to get ready. At least Natasha’s suggestion of sparkly makeup had given me a vague idea of what to do. With the help of some YouTube videos, I was happy with how I looked and set on the task of wrangling my hair back into something respectable. I was halfway through straightening it when a knock came on the door.

“Are you respectable?” Jared’s voice was muffled through the door. “We really need to get moving.”

“I have a robe on.” I ignored his non too subtle way of telling me to hurry the fuck up. 

The door rattled and I heaved a huge sigh. I turned around, ready to snap at my asshole of a brother for interrupting me. When the door opened, it wasn’t Jared poking his head in.

It was Gareth.

I stood there gaping like a fish out of water at the sight of him. He was wearing a sharp navy blue suit, one that complimented my dress perfectly. He was normally a cologne guy, but whatever he had on tonight smelt divine. 

“Surprise?” Gareth said hesitantly.

My brain wasn’t working well enough to respond with words. I crossed the room and threw my arms around his neck, hugging him hard. Gareth hugged me back gently, rocking me as I held onto him tightly. 

“Best surprise ever” I smiled, glancing up from where I’d buried my face into Gareth’s neck. I could just see Jared outside the door. Instead of the smug look, I thought he would have, he was smiling gently. The plotting from before all made sense now. I swallowed back a lump in my throat and mouthed a thank you to Jared. I had no idea how he’d manage to organise this on such short notice, especially with him only coming home today. Jared smiled at me and teleported away, leaving Gareth and I alone. “How did you plan this?”

“Jared gave me his number back at Camp Cookie,” Gareth explained, pressing a chaste kiss on my cheek. “I knew your birthday was coming up and I asked him for ideas for a present last week. He said that you were having a bit of a rough time so me being tied to your bed naked might cheer you up.”

I snorted with barely contained laughter. Trust Jared to say something like that. He may act disgusted about me having a sex life but he certainly didn’t shy away from it either. 

“Then he said you were going to this tonight so he got me an invitation as well. I owe a few people some really big favours for getting leave tonight.” Gareth hugged me a little tighter. “I have to be back first this in the morning our time, but I hoped it would be enough.”

“This is more than enough.” It really was. I couldn’t ask for better friends for organising this for me. It had just made a shitty week so much better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter really didn't want to cooperate with me. But here it is! Finally some closure with Greg and a little bit of happiness popping back into Kari's life. 
> 
> Thanks for your patience everyone. Finally on the downhill run of assignments. One more to go and I am DONE for the semester. Of course, then I'll be freaking out about exams. But at least I can write in my study downtime or procrastination about studying.
> 
> So, who's seen Infinity War? I managed to see it on opening night and I'm still not quite over it. The Russo brothers didn't hold anything back with this one.


	80. Chapter 80

“Ow.”

It was the only word I could get out as I lay on the floor of the gym feeling like I was about to die. Only Natasha could turn our morning yoga sessions into something that was more like a torture session. I was still stiff and sore and my back really did not want to stretch the way Natasha tried to get me to do. 

“Go to your physiotherapy sessions and your back won’t be so sore,” Natasha countered. She was sitting on the floor across from me. “Even I don’t avoid my physiotherapy.”

I grunted in non commitment. I knew she was right. I was meant to come back to DC after my birthday weekend but had stayed in New York. Mom and Dad had both taken a few days off to work and it had been a fun visit home. Even Jared had stuck around for it. The opening night at Stark Tower with Gareth had been an amazing night. I thought Pepper might have been too busy to do much more than say hello. But she stuck with me most of the night. Seeing Rhodey there as well had been another surprise, he and Gareth got on like a house on fire straight away. While Tony made a very last second appearance, much to Pepper displeasure, the brief conversation I had with him didn’t make me want to smack him in the face. Gareth had to go back to Iraq the next morning. He more than made up for the short visit after we left the party. Any shred of doubt I felt about him seeing me naked with the huge scar was gone in an instant with how he looked at me when I stepped out of my dress. Our birthday dinner was another huge surprise with Natasha, Clint, Laura and the kids all showing up at my parent's house for it. Afterwards had been the first decent night sleep I had gotten in weeks. A trend which had continued over the time spent at my parents. I was starting to feel more human again.

The holiday was over now though. I was back at work and due to have my meeting with Fury this morning. I wasn’t looking forward to it at all. Natasha had insisted I come in this morning and do some yoga with her beforehand. 

My phone buzzed near my feet. Without asking, Natasha swooped it up and read the text.

“It’s Gareth,” she announced rather unnecessarily. I’d been talking to Gareth while I got ready for work this morning. I waited for a few more seconds while Natasha read the message. “So that’s why you were late this morning.”

I snorted with contained laughter. There was no point denying I’d been caught up texting Gareth this morning. Natasha was probably reading the resulting conversation on why I’d been so distracted I hadn’t noticed the time.

“I like Gareth, he’s good for you.” Natasha’s statement surprised me. I was expecting her to tease me mercilessly for the sexting. “When he’s home?”

I didn’t need to voice that I thought Gareth was good for me too. He seemed to have a knack for knowing what to talk about and what to avoid with me. I thought there may have been a freak out on my behalf when we first started being intimate again. Gareth seemed more than happy for me to take the lead and let me do whatever I wanted. It was a good way to ease me back into things after Aldon. There were a few tense moments at the start but I soon relaxed and got swept away with it all. After not seeing Gareth before he left there was some pent up energy to be spent in bed which I was more than happy to have fun with. 

“A few weeks.” I craned my head around to look at Natasha. She was sitting crossed legged at my feet, her face scrunched up in concentration as she texted Gareth. I was too tired to protest at whatever she was sending him. “I’ve invited him up for the weekend. So you’ve got Barton while Gareth is here.”

Clint was due back at work next week. He wasn’t coming back to the apartment until Sunday night though. Jared had crashed in his old room last night so I hadn’t been alone. After living with Clint for these last few months it was odd not to have him in the apartment. I’d really missed having my coffee and protein shake ready for me to go this morning. Jared wasn’t even awake when I left earlier, let alone making me a coffee and protein shake.

While I was pondering about the lack of coffee this morning, which wasn’t helping my exhausted state, I heard the camera click on my phone. I groaned and flipped Natasha off. I dreaded to think what Natasha was talking to Gareth about that she needed to take a photo of me. 

“I’m only helping with your conversation from earlier,” Natasha said smugly. “Those shorts you have on are extremely short.”

“That’s because I’m pretty sure they’re yours,” I said, sitting up with a groan. “I couldn’t be bothered unpacking so I grabbed the first thing out of the closet.”

People were starting to trickle into the gym now. If I got up and had a shower now I still had time to squeeze in breakfast before I had to go see Fury. 

“Hey, new recruits to torture.” Natasha nudged my foot, inclining her head towards the door. 

Evans was at the head of the small group, hobbling along with his ankle still in a boot. He was off his crutches, which I knew he wasn’t meant to be yet. I knew he was going through profiles for new candidates during the week I stayed with him. It was a quick interview process by the looks of things. Evans noticed both of us and steered the group in our direction.

“Gentlemen, two thirds of STRIKE Team Delta,” Evans introduced us. “Romanoff and Lyngley. Don’t listen to anything they say, they like to haze new people.”

“Hey,” I protested with a pout. “Don’t rope me into the same category. I’ve never done anything to the new recruits.”

“Guilty by association,” Evans shot back at me with a small laugh. “Have you been going to your physiotherapy appointments?”

“Have you been using your crutches when your wife isn’t looking?” I countered with an innocent smile. The guilty look that flashed across Evans face told me the answer. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

That got some muted laughter from the new guys on his team. Most of them were trying to be polite and not stare but they were all looking a little awed or curious. It probably didn’t help that Natasha and I were both sitting on the ground in nothing but shorts and sports bras.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought too,” Evans countered quickly. “Go to your appointment and come deal with your goddaughter before she dies from lack of Kari time, as she told me last night.”

“I’ll be over for dinner,” I promised with a laugh. I’d spoken to Alexi on the phone last night and she’d been bugging me about coming home to her. 

“Good.” Evans nodded. “We’ll keep going before you two do something to scare them all off on their first day.”

The smirk Natasha gave Evans mirrored my own. Natasha was right in saying that she had trained me well. We acted so much like each other these days. The near identical smirks made Evans roll his eyes and leave without saying goodbye. The new guys took the hint as well and followed without looking back.

“Come on, food and then let's see if we can catch the new recruits off guard.” Natasha sprung to her feet, offering me her hand. 

I stiffly reached out took Natasha’s hand. My back protested heavily at getting to my feet, leaving me stooped over like an old woman.

“Actually, I’ll get us food and you can go to medical and get in for a physio session this morning,” Natasha said, as I struggled to straighten up. “The last thing you need in this job is a fucked back.”

“Yes Dear.” There was no point arguing. Natasha would knock me out and drag me up there by my hair if I avoided it for any longer. Even I had to admit my back was really sore this morning. It took me a few hobbling steps to get moving at a pace more than a shuffle. At least the few people in the gym were polite enough to ignore my struggle. Natasha took pity on me and let me lean against her as we walked to the elevator and to the medical wing. 

Shuffling into medical like an old woman got me an appointment with the physiotherapist right away. The few stretches he made me do hurt like hell but the massage afterwards eased away most of the ache. During my massage, the physiotherapist, Adam, scolded me for letting my back ache like this before I got it checked. I was lucky it was nothing more than muscule spasms. I hadn’t done any serious damage to my back by carrying Clint but the muscles and soft tissue still wasn’t very happy. I was able to walk out of the medical wing upright once Adam was finished with me. 

Natasha had gone to the cafeteria while I was getting my back fixed and had a big greasy bacon burger waiting for me. At least my appetite had stuck around for this recovery. 

“Coulson want’s to talk to you before we do anything else,” Natasha said in quiet Russian while I took the first bite out of my burger as we walked into the elevator. “I told him we’d head straight to his office.”

I nodded, my mouth too full to reply to her. I wasn't surprised that Coulson wanted to see me. He’d been checking up on me every single day, whether by email or a phone call. It was never anything deep or meaningful, but those little emails or the brief calls to ask how I was doing today meant a lot. No doubt Coulson wanted to make sure I was properly briefed before I had my meeting with Fury. 

“What are you doing?” I asked once I finished my mouthful. Natasha still had my phone out but had the screen angled away from me so I couldn’t see what she was doing.

“Organising going to see Wicked, when Gareth gets back,” Natasha said completely nonchalantly as her fingers flew over the screen. 

“He’s trying to save up for a deposit on a house, hence the overseas tour.” I moved to take the phone from Natasha. She moved out of the way too quickly for my still stiff body to reach. “I’m trying to avoid doing stuff that makes him spend money.”

“Isn’t he lucky he has you for a kind and benevolent sugar mama to pay for him,” Natasha said smoothly, not bothering to look up at me. Her comment got a snort of barely contained laughter from one of the male office workers standing in front of us. 

I wasn’t going to win this argument. Truthfully, I really wanted to go see Wicked. Natasha had already agreed to come with me ages ago when we saw it was coming to John F. Kennedy Centre. No doubt there’d be dinner and drinks beforehand to make it a night out.

“While you're at it, you better tell Jared about it otherwise he’ll kill us both for not inviting him,” I said before I went back to eating my burger. 

Natasha nodded, still not looking up from my phone. If there weren’t so many people in the elevator I would have asked Natasha if Sam wanted to go. Despite Natasha being home, he still sounded miserable the last time I spoke to him. He was still practically living at Evans house except when Natasha persuaded him to go over to her place. 

The elevator stopped at our floor. As soon as Natasha and I took a step forward, it was like the red sea parting for people to let us off. The reputation of STRIKE Team Delta was well known but it still amused me after all this time that things like that still happened to me. It still hadn’t lost the surreal feeling. I finished my burger as we casually strolled to Coulson’s office. It was still early enough that he might not be there yet and there was plenty of time to kill before I had to go see Fury. 

As I was shoving the last bite of burger into my mouth my phone started ringing. Instead of answering it right away, Natasha froze in her tracks, frowning at the screen. 

“Who is it?” I asked curiously. It was obvious that it wasn’t Gareth, Jared or Clint. If any of those had rung she would have answered it right away.

Wordlessly Natasha handed the phone over to me. I frowned, taking it from her and looking at the caller ID on the screen. It was Lynette, Riley’s Mom.

I hadn’t spoken to her since after Riley’s funeral. We emailed back and forth at least once a week. I kept her updated about Alexi’s antics and just general things happening in life. I hadn’t heard from her in the last week though.

“Hi.” I answered the call after a second on contemplation. “Is everything all right?”

“Hey Kari, everything is fine. Don’t panic,” Lynette sounded tired on the other end of the phone. “Do you have a minute alone?”

“Sure.” I was three steps away from Coulson’s office. “Give me a second.”

The door was unlocked and the fresh pot of coffee meant Coulson had been and gone. Without asking, Natasha stayed outside the door and pulled it shut behind me. 

“What’s up?” I asked, curiosity burning through me as I poured myself a coffee. Judging by the smell of the coffee, Pepper had sent Coulson a few bags of the good stuff again. I’d have to thank her for that.

“I’ve got some news, I’m not quite sure if it’s good or bad, to be honest,” Lynette sighed. Her weary tone made me pause in stirring the creamer into my coffee. “It’s about Riley’s will.”

“What about it?” I hadn’t seen the will myself. I’d only gone on by what everyone else had told me. I never touched the money I got from Riley’s SHIELD and family payment. Every cent of it went into another account like I requested. Mom had set it up for me so it didn’t even show up on my own bank details. I wouldn’t have a clue how much money was in there.

“So.” Lynette blew out a long breath before she continued. “Your Mom and I thought it was best that we kept some of the details from you until everything was sorted. Which is now is. I know you know that Riley left you his SHIELD payment and the money he got from the family business. But he also left you his inheritance and life insurance payment too. The day after the funeral, Emma and Tracey both contested his will, specifically those two things.”

I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. The breath actually left my body in a loud whoosh. The sudden wave of emotion hit me so hard, I felt like I was reeling. My hands shook so much the coffee splashed out of the mug onto the bench until I put it down. I knew Riley’s aunts had disapproved heavily of me, that was evident at the Thanksgiving visit. I didn’t think they despised me enough to actually go against Riley’s wishes. Like I’d said to Riley when we first started dating, his finances were none of my business and to this day I’d kept my nose well and truly out of everything to do with his money that I got. It was another thing on the long list of things I couldn’t deal with.

“Your Mom lawyered up right away and so did I.” The anger was clear in Lynette’s voice. She stopped and it suspiciously sounded like she was wiping her nose. Her honest statement brought me back to this conversation instead of fainting. “They had no right to a cent of his money and this was Emma being a bitch because she didn’t get what she wanted out of the divorce to Ben.”

“I knew I didn’t like Emma for a reason,” I said shakily. “Fucking bitch.”

I needed to distract myself with humour. Otherwise, I felt like I was going to burst into tears. Thanksgiving with Riley’s family felt like a lifetime ago. So much had happened since then.

“Well, she got exactly what she deserved.” Though Lynette laughed, there wasn’t much humour behind it. “Not a penny of his money. Tracey as well. It all settled on Friday. I wanted to be the one to tell you.”

I had no idea what to feel. Should I be happy that Riley’s Aunt’s got absolutely nothing? I didn’t feel an ounce of joy from the news at all. It felt like this was a horrible finality to everything. This was it. This was the last of things to be settled from when Riley died. It was a horrid reminder that he wasn’t ever coming back.

“I know this doesn’t really help emotionally,” Lynette said gently. There was a muted sniffle from her end of the phone. “But Riley wanted to make sure you were taken care of and you never had to worry about money ever again. He did it for a few people actually. Your college fund for Alexi is kind of obsolete now.”

How much money did Riley leave me? I knew his family were well off but I couldn’t begin to imagine what kind of money Lynette was talking about. I needed to sit down before I fell down. My legs shook as I walked over to the closest chair I could find. 

“I don’t know what to say.” My voice was scratchy and hoarse. A lump formed in my throat and no amount of swallowing was pushing it back down. 

“You don’t have to say anything,” Lynette said with a sad sigh. “Your Mom will ring you with the final details and there are a few things to sign. I just wanted to let you know about all of this myself.”

“Thank you.” My voice was very small. It was getting harder and harder to fight back the threatening tears. “I…”

My voice hitched and my throat closed. My eyes squeezed shut, holding back the gathering moisture.

“I know this is really hard,” Lynette said quickly. She sounded as choked up as I was feeling. “I know Riley never got around to making it official but you’ll always be my daughter in law and I’ll do anything I can to protect you. I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”

Lynette didn’t give me a chance to respond. The phone went dead in my ear.

I had no strength to even sit in the chair anymore. My phone fell from my fingers onto Coulson’s desk and my body crumbled out of the chair. I felt like every emotion that I’d tried to bury with Riley come roaring back to life. The hurt, pain and anguish of losing him hit me like a ton of bricks. There was some horrible finality of it all now, even though all this time had passed. There was no stopping the tears. They leaked out from underneath my tightly shut eyelids. My chest felt like someone had it in a vice and they wouldn’t stop squeezing. My heart that I thought was healing broke into a million pieces all over again. Riley was gone and he was never coming back. 

I’d give every cent Riley left me to have him back.

Everything hit me all at once as I sat in a crumpled heap on the floor, crying like I’d never cried before. I was only vaguely aware of Natasha coming in and pulling me into her arms. Her murmured words did nothing to soothe my anguish. I was crying so hard I could barely breathe, let alone answer her about what was wrong. I could only sit there crying as hard as I cried on the rooftop the night Riley died.

“Kari, hey look at me.” 

A completely different voice, one that wasn’t meant to be in Coulson’s office, made me look up. Through my blurred vision, I could only just make out the face of my Mom. 

“I want to go home.” 

Through my sobs, my plea sounded like a garbled mess. Right now I needed to be as far away from everything that had to do with Riley. The heartbreak was too much to bear. Natasha let go of me and suddenly I was in Jared’s arms. I hadn’t even heard or felt him arrive. The world dropped out from underneath me and the next second, I was back in my room at my parent's house. 

“I’ve got you,” Jared said softly, hugging me tightly. “Come on, up on the bed.”

I didn’t have an ounce of strength to put towards getting myself up. Jared supported my full weight and gently put me on my bed. I barely registered the soft mattress underneath me. All I could do cling to Jared like he was the only thing keeping me alive right now. 

“I couldn’t save him,” I said through my sobs, clinging to Jared’s shirt. “I couldn’t save anyone.”

That thought came out of nowhere. The guilt from the last mission had come crawling out of the black hole of emotions that I tried to keep it in. I knew it was only a matter of time before it reared its ugly head. It had just come out at the worst possible time.

“Hey, come on.” Jared seemed lost for words as he rocked me. “That’s not true and you know it. Don’t you dare let that guilt start eating at you now.”

I knew Jared was trying to be comforting. His words had the opposite effect, it only made me cry even harder than before. When Riley died I thought I’d cried a lifetime of tears and I’d never be able to cry again. I was very, very wrong. I had more tears now than ever. 

“You saved me,” Jared said softly. “Kari, look at me.”

Jared didn’t give me a choice. His strong hands pried me off his shirt and he cupped my face between his hands, making me look at him. I could barely make his face out through my tears.

“Who carried Barton to safety?” Jared said firmly. He didn’t let me shake my head in protest or speak. He kept on talking over my body wracking sobs. “Who pulled Natasha off that cliff when your tyres were shot out in Odessa? Do I need to even point out who’s little girl and boy are thrilled to have their Dad home every single night? You are a badass motherfucker who is more than deserving of wearing the mantle of STRIKE Team Delta. I am not going to let you sit here and wallow in that guilt shit from that fucking mission. You can cry for the next month about Riley but I’m not letting you shed a tear over you being a hero.”

A hero. That was a funny way of putting it. Even if I wasn’t wracked by the guilt of not being able to save everyone, I still wouldn’t call myself a hero. I’d done what anyone in my predicament on that mission. I’m pretty sure Clint or Natasha wouldn’t have sat in the back of the Quinjet ready to give up like I had. There’d be no arguing with Jared over this. I knew he wasn’t lying and he really believed I was a hero. If only I could convince myself of that fact.

“I don’t want Riley’s money, I want him back.”

My soft confession brought a fresh round of tears. Jared let go of my face and hugged me fiercely. I sagged against him, burying my face into Jared's shoulder as the tears kept coming.

“I know you do,” Jared said quietly as he resumed rocking me gently. “I’d bring him back if I could.”

I cried for what felt like an eternity. I was so physically and emotionally drained by the time I was done, I could barely keep my eyes open. I didn’t have any energy at all so Jared eased me off his shoulder and down onto the bed.

“I’ll be back in a few seconds, I’m going to get Mom,” Jared said, pulling my blanket up over my curled up body. “I don’t think she’s very happy I left her in Coulson’s office.”

Jared’s quip was meant to try and get some kind of reaction out of me. I felt nothing though. Absolutely nothing but a great big hole in my life again. I tightened the blanket around me, nodding with a sniff. I just wanted to lay here and feel sorry for myself. I hadn’t let myself wallow in my grief when Riley died. I was tired of being strong and holding it all in. 

True to his word, Jared was gone and back within five seconds. I had my back turned to both of them as they arrived in the room. I heard footsteps and a weight next to me dipped the bed down. Mom’s cool fingers smoothed away the mess of hair away from my face.

“Get some sleep.”

It was a second too late before I realised what Mom had just done. She very rarely used her powers on either of us. I hated that she could manipulate my body into feeling so tired that I would fall asleep instantly. I didn’t even get a chance to get upset about it before I passed out. 

It was dark when I woke up. I felt like shit. My eyes were itchy and gritty from crying much earlier. My head felt like it had been stuffed with cotton wool. I was desperately thirsty. I groaned as I rolled over, looking at the clock on my bedside table. It was a 0207. Despite feeling like shit, I was wide awake. Someone had been thoughtful and left a bottle of water beside the clock. It took a lot of effort to sit up and get the bottle of water. My limbs felt like they weighed a ton each and nothing wanted to work properly. It took me three goes to unscrew the lid off the water. I greedily drank the entire bottle dry and flopped back down against the pillows, staring up at the dark ceiling. A lone glow in the dark star was still there from one of my terrible ideas to plaster my entire room in them.

What the fuck was I going to do now? Every time I felt like my life was getting back on track something would come along and knock me right back on my ass. I wasn’t sure if I could keep getting up and trudging along. It was getting harder to pick myself up time after time. I was over a year since Riley had died. I thought I was doing well by slowly moving on in my life. Was this a sign I shouldn’t be moving on? Or was it a sign I was still clinging to a life I knew that was never going to happen. My heart felt as broken as it was this time last year right after Riley’s funeral. 

Jared said I was a hero. Why didn’t I feel like one? Why couldn’t I let the crippling guilt about not saving everyone go? I knew that I’d done everything I could to save as many people as possible. I really did. But my mind would not let it go that I couldn’t save everyone. 

My mind was going round and round in circles with questions I had no answers to. With a defeated sigh, I pushed myself up into a sitting position and listened. The house was quiet, as it should be at this hour of the morning. I didn’t feel like talking to anyone and my stomach was making it known that I had missed lunch and dinner. I wearily rubbed my forehead before stiffly climbing out of bed. Someone had taken my shoes off and I was still dressed in my workout clothes from earlier. As I clicked on the bedside lamp, a familiar grey hoodie drew my attention right away. It was one of Riley’s hoodies, his favourite one that I’d claimed for myself. Every time I wore it, Riley would roll his eyes and mutter under his breath about me stealing clothes to establish my dominance. I never quite caught what he was saying but there was always a smile on his face, as much as he tried to hide it. My heart ached all over again as I reached out and picked up the well worn material. It had taken me months to bring myself to wash it because it still smelt of Riley. Jared had accidentally thrown in the washing machine one day, mistaking it for one of his hoodies. I was proud of myself that day that I didn’t cry when Jared handed the freshly laundered hoodie back to me, apologising over and over again. It was one of those moments where I thought I was taking a step forward.

I pulled the hoodie over my head, resisting the urge to give it a sniff like I used to when it still smelt like Riley. It was a hard habit to break. Pulling the sleeves down over my hands I quietly padded out into the hallway. Instead of it being dark like I thought it would be, there was a light underneath Jared’s door. I stopped outside, hesitating at the still slightly ajar door. 

“I’m decent if you want to come in,” Jared’s voice had no traces of sleep in it. If anything there were tinges of exhaustion in his tone. 

I took his invitation, pushing the door open. Jared was sitting up against the headboard of his bed, his chin resting on his knees as he stared at the enormous TV taking up most of the opposite wall. Without prompting, Jared scooted over so I could fit on the bed with him.

Despite my shitty mood, there was a strained smile tug at my lips as I looked at the TV across the room. Jared had paused the movie as I climbed onto the bed. That fucking TV of his had been quite the stir the year we’d turned 16. Jared caught my eye and a smirk appeared on his handsome face.

“Are you remembering the summer I got the TV?”

I nodded, smiling a little bit more. Jared had wanted a TV for his 16th birthday. Not just any TV, he had his heart set on an enormous flat screen TV. Mom and Dad had been adamant that if he wanted that TV he had to work for it. They’d come to an arrangement that whatever Jared made during his summer job, our parents would contribute equally to it. We hadn’t been pushed to get jobs throughout high school so we could both focus on our studies. It was something I was grateful for. Being the nerd I was, I took some extra classes over summer to make my Air Force application look even better for the year after. No one had expected Jared to actually get a job and when he proudly announced he’d landed a job as a bicycle delivery boy at a pizza place, even I was surprised. Jared had made good work of his teleporting skills. He never openly did it and always arrived five minutes earlier than expected to people’s places. This made him a small fortune in tips. At the end of summer, Jared had saved every cent of it and proudly dumped the entire contents on the kitchen table. My parents lived up to their promise and matched every cent of it. Jared was still smug about the damn 50 inch flatscreen TV to this day. 

I mirrored Jared’s posture, tucking my knees up to my chin as I got comfortable on the bed. Jared had Kill Bill playing on the TV. It was right at the start of the epic fight scene. Without asking, he hit play. 

“Drink?” Jared asked, bending down beside of the bed. He produced a bottle of expensive looking red wine.

My wrinkled nose gave Jared his answer. I couldn’t stomach red wine. It was bad enough when Natasha drank it.

“Your loss,” Jared said, taking a swig straight from the bottle. “It’s really, really expensive wine.”

I shook my head. Even really expensive red wine wasn’t going to help persuade me to drink it. I turned my attention back to the movie instead. Jared had the sound turned down low and the subtitles on, which is why I didn’t hear it when I first woke up.

Jared drank his wine from the bottle and I stayed silent as we watched the movie. We used to do this as teenagers as well, minus the expensive red wine. Sometimes it was a bottle of cheap liquor Jared had managed to swindle off someone. Not that we had to hide our drinking from our parents. When we were 16, neither of my parents had a problem with us having a small glass of wine or a beer with dinner. Mom’s reasoning was she’d prefer we did it openly and at home so she knew where we were and what we were drinking. 

“Do you remember when I told you about my partner, Phillip?” Jared said suddenly, breaking the silence. “It was when we were in Afghanistan.”

I looked at Jared, confused at the sudden topic. I vaguely remember Jared telling me after my mission in Afghanistan when I’d made my first kill. His first and only partner Phillip had been killed while they were on a mission.

“I nearly left SHIELD because of that,” Jared soft confession made me sit up fully and look at him. “The guilt was killing me. That Phillip was the one who died and I didn’t think I could live it with.”

“You never told me.” I didn’t know what else to say. During that time was roughly when I’d joined the Air Force. Jared and I had big gaps in time where we only sent each other brief emails or texts because we were both so busy. Never once did he mention he was doing it tough at work. If anything, Jared always made it sound like his job was a breeze. That nothing ever rattled him. 

“No, I didn’t tell anyone until I came back here when I thought Mom wouldn’t be home,” Jared said with a lopsided smile. “Mom was working from home that day because she wasn’t feeling well. She took one look at me and everything hit me like a ton of bricks. I was a mess.”

I scooted over as close as I could get to Jared, wrapping him in a hug. There was so much I didn’t know about his life in SHIELD. 

“It was hard,” Jared’s voice went hoarse as he hugged me back. “It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, letting go of that guilt. People would tell me all the time it wasn’t my fault. That Phillip knew what he was getting into and he wouldn’t want me to live with this.”

“What helped?” I asked. I knew there was no magical fix for this. Jared’s answer wasn’t going to make me feel better and I’d get up tomorrow and everything would be fine.

“Admitting I was struggling,” Jared said with a pained sigh. “I hated it with a passion. To admit that I couldn’t cope with something. I thought it was a weakness and one that would get me fired. To this day I still struggle with it but it’s gotten better. I know there was absolutely nothing I could do to save him.”

I blew out a long breath as I stared the TV. Jared had a point. I didn’t want to admit that I was really struggling to move past this last mission. The build up of guilt of not being able to save everyone was like cancer eating away at me. The horrible finality of realising Riley was never coming back was the straw the broke the camels back that made it all come crashing down.

“This job we do it tough.” Jared squeezed me gently. “We see and do horrible things so the rest of the world can sleep soundly at night. Yet we toss and turn, caught up in the nightmares that we’ve seen with our own eyes. It’s not our ability to put it all behind us like it never happened that makes us strong. It’s learning to stand up and face those demons that keep us awake at night is what makes us strong.”

I’d been doing a good job avoiding my own demons. I’d avoided as much as I possibly could to do with Riley over the last year. I hadn’t even been back to the apartment we shared and Jared never asked me to come over either. Maybe Jared was right, that it was time I started avoiding everything and face my demons. I wasn’t sure if I was strong enough to do that still.

“No one is expecting a click of the fingers and you’ll be fine,” Jared said softly. “But you need to start talking to someone Kari. Please believe me when I say you did everything you possibly could on that mission.”

“It doesn’t feel like it,” I admitted with my voice cracking from emotion. “It really doesn’t.”

Jared hugged me tightly as I started to cry again. The tears came out of nowhere and there was nothing that was stopping them. 

“It doesn’t now,” Jared said softly, rocking me back and forth. “But to me, you’re amazing and I’m proud of you. Even if you don’t feel like there’s anything to be proud of. No matter what, talk to me?”

I wondered if Jared was worried I was going to do something stupid like I did that night on the roof when I was standing on the ledge. I nodded, not trusting myself to speak right now. I really wished I could believe him right now. I knew what he was saying was true. I just couldn’t let this go. Jared held me until I stopped crying again. My stomach growled loudly as the tears subsided. It was loud enough that Jared looked down at me.

“Pizza or pasta?”

“Pizza,” I said with a sniff. I was starving. “As greasy and gross as you can make it.”

“Be right back.”

Jared was back in 10 minutes with an extra large meatlovers pizza and a six pack of beer. Despite my mood, his thoughtfulness made me smile. 

We both stayed up until the early hours of the morning. I fell asleep halfway through Kill Bill 2 and slept like the dead until later afternoon. Jared was gone when I woke up in his bed. I felt sluggish and every small movement was exhausting. I dragged my ass into the shower and stood under the hot water for a good 20 minutes. My once again growling stomach was the only thing that forced me out of the shower and downstairs to find food. 

The only noise downstairs was muffled talking in the study. The door was slightly ajar and I could see the shadows of someone moving in there. It was no surprise that Mom had decided to work from home today. I walked into the kitchen and flicked the coffee machine on. I reached up and tiredly rubbed my eyes while the machine worked its magic. 

I really had no idea what to do now. My little mental breakdown at work was probably going to result in me being out of the field for the next decade. Jared was right, I really needed to start talking to someone about this. I couldn’t keep carrying the weight of this guilt around. I also needed to start dealing with the fact Riley was gone and he wasn’t coming back. Avoiding everything to do with him was only delaying the inevitable. Jared was right that I needed to start dealing with this. The coffee machine finished brewing and I made my coffee into the sugary hell that I liked. Mom drank her coffee similar to me except she preferred caramel in her coffee so I made her one as well. If I was going to start somewhere, talking to my Mom was probably a good start. I took both of our mugs into the study, tapping on the door with my foot.

“Come in.”

I nudged the door open with my hip. Mom turned around in her chair, her face lighting up as she saw the coffee mug in my hand. 

“You read my mind.” Mom smiled brightly as I handed her the mug. “Work sucks today.”

Mom’s honest statement made my lips tug up in a semblance of a smile. 

“What are you dealing with?” I asked, settling down into Dad’s chair. Mom’s work wasn’t always exciting. Mostly she dealt with a lot of issues that could be handled by the individual departments.

“A very nasty sexual harassment case,” Mom said, blowing out a frustrated breath. “The guy is a complete sleaze and I really want to punch him in the throat. But I don’t have any substantial evidence to back up the claims against him. It’s very frustrating.”

“Natasha and I could handle it,” I offered, taking a sip of coffee. “I think that might create more paperwork for you though.”

“A lot more,” Mom said with a laugh. “As tempted as I am to say yes, I’m not allowed to sanction hits against SHIELD staff. Even if I do have the confidence you could make it look like an accident.”

This time I could smile a little bit more. I knew Mom wasn’t a fan of me being in STRIKE, she’d been even less amused when she found out I was put in STRIKE Team Delta. Having her make a joke like she just did gave me a boost of much needed confidence. 

“How are you feeling this morning? Well, afternoon now,” Mom asked, her tone turning gentle. She reached forward and gave my knee a squeeze.

I wanted to brush Mom off with a bullshit answer. The partial lie of feeling like shit because of too much beer came to my mind. Instead, I forced the lie back and the smile dropped off my face. 

“I’m not doing great.”

Mom put her coffee mug down and pulled me into a hug. There were no tears this time as I let myself be wrapped up in Mom’s embrace. There was no instant feeling of relief by finally admitting I wasn’t coping with this. There was no feeling of defeat either like I thought there may have been. It was a strange feeling. 

“You’re going to get through this,” Mom soothed me quietly. “It’s going to be hard. Sometimes it’s going to be ugly, but you will get through it. I promise.”

Mom’s words gave me a small bit of peace. It may have been her gently using her powers but I wasn’t going to fight it for once. The never ending guilt that had been gnawing at me finally quietened down. It wasn’t gone but it wasn’t right there trying to rip into the open either. I let myself be held by my Mom and let the rest of the world fall away for a little bit. When I opened my eyes again, my eyes spied a folder with my name on it.

“What’s that?” I asked, pulling away so I could pick it up.

“That is from Nick.” Mom made no move to take it off me. “He thought you may want it after everything that’s been happening.”

It always took me a second to realise Mom was talking about Fury and not Nick from Bravo team. It was still weird that my parents were on the first name basis with my boss. Curious, I opened up the folder and pulled out the single piece of paper. It was a SHIELD resignation form. 

“I never said I wanted to resign,” I said, frowning down at the form in my hand. 

“I know.” Mom reached out and took it out of my hand and placed it back in the folder. She scrunched her nose up as she shut the folder with more force the necessary. The small action nearly made me smile. It was obvious Mom and Fury had words about this. “Nick told me that if you didn’t want it, you could march into his office and burn it.”

“Wrong child.” I pointed out. I had no idea what to make of being handed a resignation form. I’d told Coulson last year I was happy in SHIELD. Even with this huge bump in the road, the thought of leaving never crossed my mind. I couldn’t leave Natasha and Clint, not after everything we’d been through. I wouldn’t know what to do with my life if I wasn’t in SHIELD.

“Your creative, I’m sure you could find some way to do it.” Mom’s smile was both sad and proud. She didn’t need her powers to know my mind was made up. She reached over and gave me another hug. “Did you want to use my computer to email Andrew?”

I looked at the shiny desktop computer. Mom had all of her files minimised and her background picture was all of us on our last family holiday. I’d been 18 in that photo. It was only weeks before I’d gotten into the Air Force. Jared was on a break from the Academy. It was a lifetime ago. As hard as everything was right now, I wouldn’t trade my life for anything. I needed to do this. I needed to get myself back on track and start moving on.

“Please.” I hesitated as I looked back to Mom. “Can we arrange for that other paperwork too? The stuff from Riley’s will?”

It came out a lot stronger than I was feeling. There was no point delaying the inevitable anymore. Mom’s eyes filled with tears and she nodded. She reached over and gave me another hug, holding me tightly. A lump formed in my throat and a few tears started to leak from my eyes again as I hugged Mom back. This was going to be hard.

The rest of the week was a lot of emotional upheaval. To my ever lasting embarrassment, I’d cried during my video session with Andrew when I told him I wasn’t coping. In his never ending patience, he calmed me down and for the first time, I talked about the guilt that was trying to suffocate me after the mission. While Andrew wasn’t able to wave a magical wand and make it all better, there was a tiny bit of relief afterwards. I talked to him every day via Skype. Every time we spoke, it helped, even if it was for something so minute I didn’t think it was actually a problem. I confided in Mom as well, much to her relief. It was strange being so open to everyone after closing myself off for so long. I spoke with Natasha and Clint every day and Jared hung around as much as he could as well. 

I’d stayed strong throughout the signing of all the paperwork to do with Riley’s life insurance and inheritance. The young intern lawyers were both incredible throughout the whole thing. They’d been the ones doing all the legwork throughout the ordeal and while the senior lawyer had won the case in court, I was sure it was their doing getting the whole thing done quickly. Matthew and Foggy, as they’d introduced themselves were branching out on their own soon. Mom was more than happy to give them her card and told them to call her once they’d gotten their own firm up and running. Matthew had been especially interesting. He was blind but seemed to move around without any assistance. There was something very calming and grounding about his presence throughout it all. This time the tears stayed at bay throughout the whole meeting. Even though I choked on my own spit when I saw the amount I was getting. 

What Riley had left me meant I’d never worry about money. Ever. The seven figure sum was something I never thought I'd see in my bank account. It still didn’t change the fact I’d give every cent of it up if it meant I‘d have him back. I let myself wallow in the misery of it for ten minutes when I got home, the picked myself back up and kept going. Little by little I was finally putting the pieces of my life back together again. Some days were harder than others

It took three weeks before I was ready to go back to work. I went back to DC for a quiet birthday celebration for Clint and stayed. Natasha had been staying with Clint while I was away. It was a fun weekend. The weather had been warm so we went to the beach for a barbecue lunch. For the first time in months, I felt completely relaxed afterwards. Phil and his girlfriend, Audrey, had come along, as did Evans, Abby and the kids. Alexi was thrilled to see me again and hung off me like a little monkey all day long. I got home and collapsed into bed, exhausted but happy. Truly happy for the first time in weeks. 

On Monday morning I was back at the Triskelion. Natasha, Clint and Jared were all following me as I marched towards my destination. I had one final thing I wanted to do before I got back to work. I was quietly shitting myself on what I was about to do. It was probably the ballsiest thing I’d ever done in my life. 

“Ready for this?” Natasha looked over at me with a wide grin. Clint’s grin mirrored her own. They were more excited about this than I was.

“I may need this after I’m done.” I looked at the piece of paper in my hand. It was slightly smudged from my sweating palms. But I really wanted to do this. 

“Trust me, he’ll love it.” Jared reassurance sounded more like he was daring me to do something. In a way, this was kind of a dare. Or professional suicide. But Mom did say I could do this so I would blame her if I got into trouble for it.

I stopped in front of Fury’s office. The door was shut but not locked. I paused with my hand on the doorknob, gathering my courage. Before I could chicken out, I twisted the knob and pushed the door open.

I was expecting the one good eye of Director Fury to look up at me at my unannounced arrival. I was not expecting five other heads to swivel around and stare at me as I walked into the room. All the STRIKE leaders and Coulson were in the office with Fury. Every single one of them stared at me as I crossed the room and came to stand in front of Fury’s desk.

“This is what I think of your resignation form.” I held up the piece of paper in my hand. Pulling a lighter from my pocket, I didn’t break eye contact with Fury as I lit it up. The piece of paper in my hand went up in flames a second later. 

The stony expression on Fury’s face didn’t twitch as I dropped the burning piece of paper on the ground and stomped on it hard enough to make the flames go out. I turned on my heel and walked out of the room, pretending to be oblivious to the raised eyebrows in the room. As I turned, I snuck a glance at Evans who was trying his hardest to not laugh out loud. His face had gone red from the effort of keeping it contained. Rumlow wasn’t looking entirely composed either. I wasn’t game to look at Coulson for fear his glare that I knew would be coming might strike me down on the spot. I stomped from the room, slamming the door shut behind me. 

It was a good thing the door was solid. I broke down into hysterical giggles as soon as it clicked shut. Jared, Natasha and Clint weren’t much better. Jared was laughing so hard there were tears coming down his face.

“Let's get the fuck out of here before Coulson comes out,” Clint suggested through his wheezing laughter. “We’ll be dead otherwise.”

On cue, the doorknob rattled as someone started to turn it. The four of us bolted down the hallway without looking back. The fear of being caught did nothing to mute our laughter. If anything, we all laughed even harder as we ran to safety.

Thing’s weren’t fixed or even close to being perfect. Moments like this made me really feel like I’d found my place in the world though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter made me extremely nervous, I'm not exactly sure why because I'm happy with how it turned out. I guess I'll let all of you judge for yourselves on how you liked it!


	81. Chapter 81

I wiped the rain dripping down my face away for the 100th time that minute. Not that it helped. No matter what we did to the shelter, it still leaked. It probably wasn't helping that it was monsoon season here in Thailand. The torrential rain had made a shitty mission even worse.

"Overwatch, remind me again how this isn't punishment?" I grumbled into the radio, shifting in the tree trying to find a comfortable position.

"Why would I be punishing you?" Coulson's reply had a distinct smug tone to it. "This is a nice easy surveillance mission to ease you all back into work."

"Bullshit." Clint drew the expletive out over a few syllables. His voice was distorted by the sound of the rain on his shelter. "This sucks Coulson."

It was a few weeks after I'd burnt the resignation in Fury's office. To my surprise, Coulson hadn't said a word about it. Neither had Fury. I thought I'd escaped being in trouble for it. Then Coulson called all of us, including Jared into his office and given us this mission. We were doing surveillance on a suspected black market weapons dealer in Thailand. To start with, the mission actually sounded like something exciting to get us all back to being mission ready. However, the clincher had been we weren't the ones to take down the dealer. We were strictly surveillance only and STRIKE TEam Charlie would be the ones to come in and do the raid on the compound. The innocent smile on Coulson's face said it all as we all looked at him, dumbfounded we were being used for surveillance, made us all realise this was punishment.

"You swap out in two hours," Coulson said patiently. "You'll live until then."

Two hours was as long as twelve sitting out here in the rain watching somewhere that looked deserted from the outside. We were each doing eight hour shifts out here watching the compound. I'd never done surveillance with Clint and quickly found out why Natasha had been adamant about being partnered with Jared. Clint never stopped talking during his shift. I wasn't sure if it was a coping mechanism for being so bored. Or he was simply doing it to annoy the other person, whether that be me or whoever was monitoring our radio at the time. Coulson checked in with us every four hours.

"My balls are going to rot off before then," Clint complained. I snickered in response. The pouring rain did nothing to dampen the humidity of the jungle like terrain. To make things worse, our safe house had no air conditioning and the roof leaked. The three mile hike through the jungle to get there was a new form of hell in all this rain and mud. I was so glad after the first time, Jared was able to take us back and forth. My feet would have fallen off from foot rot by now otherwise. SHIELD was really punishing us with this mission.

"You aren't using them so what's the problem?" Coulson's sharp wit made me snort with laughter.

"Yeah, seriously Hawk, you need to stop using my hand lotion. That shit is expensive." I decided to join in the teasing for Clint's lack of sex life. "And no one is getting close enough to your balls to enjoy the jasmine scent."

There was a choked snort come from Coulson's end of the radio. I smirked in triumph at making him choke on what was probably a coffee.

"I used it on my hands," Clint said, the exasperation clear in his voice. "I don't use it to jerk off with. Now if someone would keep it down when she's having phone sex with her fuck buddy, then I could sleep better at night without those mental images."

"Then you shouldn't keep your hearing aids in and listen to us having phone sex." I wasn't being baited into that argument with Clint. "It's almost like you want those mental images for your spank bank."

"Trust me, Kari, no one needs those images in their head," Clint argued back. "I'm scarred for life."

"Gareth doesn't seem to mind."

"All right you two," Coulson cut in before we could get started tormenting each other again. "I'm signing off. Is there anything you want before I go?"

"Air conditioning," I said instantly. "And the ability to turn the rain off. Seriously, Ororo won't mind if you ask."

"And ice cream," Clint chipped in. "Food that isn't MRE's. A TV and computer would be nice, oh and a proper bed."

"Yeah, the bed would be great." I echoed. We only had a mattress on the floor at the safe house. "A fridge that actually works."

"Good bye."

Our requests were ignored. Like every other time, we complained about the lack of basic facilities in the safe house. I could hear Clint laughing under his breath on the other end of the radio as Coulson left and the new technician signed on. Clint instantly started talking to the new voice over the radio. I was waiting for Agent Hand to get over the radio soon and tell Clint off for being an asshole to all the agents dealing with us right now.

I went back to looking through my scope of the CheyTac, scanning the compound. Nothing had changed since I took over out here six hours ago. It was late afternoon here but the dark rain clouds kept the sun from coming out. Not that I think I'd seen the sun while we'd been here. On my last shift I was complaining to Coulson I was going to die from lack of Vitamin D on this mission. Thunder rumbled in the distance, promising yet another afternoon storm. I was soaked to the bone thanks to my waterproof gear deciding it didn't want to be waterproof any longer. I should have been utterly miserable yet I was happy to be out on a mission. No matter how boring or shitty it was. I expected to be out of the field for a very long time. My sessions with Andrew had slow going. I had good and bad days. It felt like one step forward and three back all the time. But, I was here and back on a mission. Even if it was a shitty surveillance mission.

A noise cut through the quiet air, instantly stopping the chatter coming from Clint. The sound of a diesel engine was loud in the quiet of the terrain.

"We've got movement." Clint radioed it in before I could.

I couldn't see the vehicle coming. The roadway into the compound was on Clint's side. I could see some people starting to stir within the compound though. A few lights were turned on inside and I could see into half a dozen people moving around inside.

"Barton, talk to me." Coulson's voice came over the radio again, surprising me. Someone must have sprinted to go and get him back to us in record time.

"Three trucks." Clint was all business now. "Guards are lightly armed. No sighting of Chen. One is unloading the cargo…"

There was a long pause as Clint trailed off. I tapped my earpiece thinking it may have cut out. The storm was coming in quick and sometimes our radios got distorted from the atmospheric interference.

"Jesus fucking christ," Clint's curse came out completely breathless. "They aren't running weapons. They've got kids."

My stomach lurched as I struggled to get a clear sight of anything. By pure luck, one of the lights came on in the building. Standing directly in the middle of the room was Jing Chen, the leader of the group.

"I have eyes on Chen." I flicked off the safety. It was a perfect shot. "Permission to shoot."

"Stand down," Coulson ordered instantly. "Get Natasha and Jared there right now Kari."

I flicked over the radio channel to the direct line we had to the safe house.

"Nat, Jared, come in."

The pause on the other end of the radio was agonising. It couldn't have been longer than thirty seconds before Jared's sleepy voice came over the radio.

"This better be something important," Jared said grumpily. "You aren't due to switch out yet and I'm not bringing you a coffee."

"We have movement." I ignored Jared's snarky reply. Though the mention of a coffee gave me a caffeine craving. "Get here now."

"Copy that." Jared was all business in an instant. "Be there in a minute."

I switched channels back so I could hear what was going on with Clint. He was relaying information back to Coulson at a million miles a minute. I looked through the scope again and found Chen still standing in the room. His arms were crossed and I could see his mouth moving as he spoke to the other man in the room.

"I still have a clear shot." I tried again, hoping Coulson would give us the good ahead. I knew we weren't meant to see any action on this mission. This was an opportunity we couldn't pass up. The idea of this mission was to hit their latest shipment and piss Chen off enough to come crawling out of the shadows. No one expected Chen to be here right now. We had a kill on sight order on him.

"Negative, stand down Kari." Coulson firm tone made my finger pull away from the trigger in an instant. "I'm trying to get an ETA on Charlie team."

I grumbled in frustration. Here we were, perfectly poised to take this down in minutes. According to Clint, there wasn't more than ten guards. We could take this all down by ourselves.

"I've got Romanoff and Jared with me now," Clint said briskly. "We have a clear entrance."

Thunder rumbled ominously right over my head. The landscape lit up as lightning flashed a second later. The storm would give us perfect cover to get in there and end this. There was muffled talking on the other end of the radio, nothing I could clearly make out.

"Coulson." Clint tried again. There was a distinct pleading tone in his voice. "The oldest kid I could see would be five."

The new bit of information knocked the breath out of me. There was scum and then there were people like Chen who did things like this. Being in Thailand it wasn't hard to piece together what the fate of these kids would be. It made me sick to my stomach.

"Go."

The order came from Coulson barely a second later.

"Take him out, Kari." Clint sounded extremely smug. "Shoot him in the balls first if you can."

A feral grin tugged at my lips as I lined my shot up. Chen and his offsider were still standing in the same position talking. While Chen wasn't going to live, I was going to make sure the next few seconds of his life were lived in terror of knowing what was about to come.

I shifted my position ever so slightly, putting the offsider in my sight first. Doing a quick mental calculation, I knew my exact path for the next five seconds.

I squeezed the trigger and automatically lined up my second shot. The offsider would be dead in an instant from the head shot. However, my second shot I went for Chen's thigh. The first bullet shattered the window and the offsider dropped before either of them could turn to look at the noise. A brilliant spray of brain tissue and blood painted the grey wall behind the offsider. Chen dropped to the ground, his mouth open in a silent scream of agony. The follow-up bullet to his head a few moments later meant whoever was doing the autopsy would have to identify him by dental records. There was nothing left off his face after the bullet ripped through it.

"Chen's down."

There was something grimly satisfying seeing Chen's face explode in my scope. There wasn't an ounce of pity for the dead man in front of me. I didn't have time to sit here and be proud of the shots I'd made. I quickly picked the CheyTac up and scrambled down the slippery tree. I could barely see it was raining so hard as I sprinted towards the compound. My boots barely had any traction in the mud and I nearly went to my knees a few times. I'd only been positioned 300 feet away. In this mud and rain, it felt like a 300 mile sprint. I could barely draw a breath into my body as I came through the compound gate.

Dead bodies were strewn everywhere. Judging by the pattern of bodies on the ground, these men weren't well trained either. A few of them had tried to run away as soon as the fighting started. I could clearly see black fletched arrows sticking out of at least two men's backs. I drew my P30 out of my thigh holster and crept forward. Once the blood stopped roaring in my ears the sound of children screaming and crying came from the trucks. I could dimly hear a few shots inside but nothing to indicate there was a massive fire fight. I made the snap decision to go to the first truck instead of running inside. There was nothing coming through my earpiece either to indicate whether I was needed.

Yanking the door open, the sound of screaming children was near deafening. I could barely make them out in the dark of the back of the truck.

"Hi," I said in my most soothing tone. "It's all right. We're here to help."

I didn't speak a word of Thai. It was too dark to make out individual faces either to see if there might have been someone who spoke English. My tone must have done the trick because the screaming stopped and there were stifled sobs instead.

"Can you stay here?" I asked the closet kid. "I have to go help the others."

I gestured towards the other two trucks hoping the kid closest to me would get the picture. Messy hair flew in every direction as the kid nodded. I could see her brown eyes, wide in horror and tear filled. My heart clenched a second later as one of the smaller at the back of the truck reached out towards me. I couldn't resist those outstretched arms. I gathered the tiny girl in my arms and hugged her hard. This little one couldn't be any older than Alexi. As I hugged her, the skinny body in my arms broke into heaving sobs. All thoughts of going inside were gone as I stood in the pouring rain cuddling the young girl.

"You're safe." I murmured as I rocked her in my arms. "No one will ever hurt you again."

The girl in my arms was so skinny and tiny. I could feel every bone in her rib cage as she clung to me for dear life. I carried her to the other two trucks checking on the children in them. From what I could see, there was an assortment of girls and boys. The third truck was empty, most likely the children had been taken inside already. There wasn't much noise coming from inside now. The occasional pop of a smaller calibre weapon. It was no surprise when Jared appeared next to me moments later after the last gunshot was heard.

"Enemy is down," Jared said with grim satisfaction. "All the children are safe. Clint and Nat are with the ones inside."

The little girl in my arms had gone quiet. Her head was on my shoulder and arms still around my neck, though her grip was getting slacker with every passing moment. Amongst the noise from the other children and the pouring rain, I didn't think she'd get to sleep that easily. Jared's grim look was replaced with a heartwarming smile as he looked at me.

"You have a friend," Jared said softly. "She's fast asleep."

"She reached out for me." I shifted the little girl in my arms, hugging her a little tighter. "I couldn't say no. She's barely any older than Alexi."

We'd just saved these children from a very grim fate and an early grave. I wouldn't be losing any sleep over putting down the men responsible for this.

"How are the others?" Jared gestured towards the truck. A few children had gotten brave and poked their heads out of the back of the truck. They were all filthy and bedraggled. My heart broke all over again seeing dried blood on some of their faces. It was clear the men had been rough with them. Who knew when they last had a decent meal and a soft bed.

"Alive and safe." There wasn't much else to say. A few of the older looking children had jumped down from the trucks and come over to Jared and me.

Jared knelt down to the closet one and asked what sounded like a question in Thai. The boy nodded vigorously, sticking his fingers in his mouth. Jared's smile seemed to give a few others the courage to get down from the trucks. The rain was starting to come in even harder now, soaking everyone within seconds.

"Let's get them inside," Jared said, holding his hand out to the young boy in front of him. The child's face lit up and he held up his arms to Jared.

It was funny seeing my brother who's reputation was a cold hearted assassin, picking up the boy in front of him and cradling him close. The relief was clear on Jared's face as he spoke a few words to the child, earning him a smile as the boy put his head on Jared's shoulder. It was all it took to get the rest of the children climbing down from the trucks. A few of the younger ones had to be helped down but we managed to get everyone inside with no protest at all.

The building was an old two story brick building. The lights flickered ominously as we walked in. Jared came to the first room and pushed the door open. He spoke again in his competent Thai, gesturing towards the open room. A few of the children had blank looks on their face as Jared spoke but soon got the hint as everyone else started to move in. The room got crowded quickly but at least everyone was out of the weather. The little girl in my arms stirred as I tried to put her down. It quickly became a whimper before she started crying, clinging onto me like he life depended on it.

"It's okay," I tried to reassure her, gently untangling her arms from around my neck. "I'll be back for you."

Jared translated for me. The only effect it had was the girl shaking her head and crying. I gave up, letting her hug me again. I couldn't begin to imagine the hell these kids would have been through. I wasn't going to deny this little girl a bit of comfort for the first time in who knew how long. Even the boy Jared had been holding had put up a bit of an argument about being put down. At least the boy was old enough to understand whatever Jared was saying to him.

"Stay here." Jared shot me a sympathetic look. "I'll see what we can do for communications. The storm is messing with our radios."

No wonder I didn't hear anything in my earpiece while this was all going on. I nodded while gently bouncing the little girl trying to get her to settle down again. Whether it was the gentle bouncing or the fact I didn't try and put her down again, the girl in my arms stopped crying quickly. I settled down on the floor as best I could with her clinging to me. Within seconds, I had all the children in the room making a beeline for me.

"Who likes stories?" I asked, scanning all of the faces looking up at me. I don't think any of them understood but I had their attention at least. "Once there was a very hungry caterpillar…"

I managed to keep all of the children amused until Jared came with, Natasha and Clint in tow with him. Even in the dim light, I could see that Natasha was rattled. Her normally cool exterior was pinched and drawn as she looked around the room. I thought she was going to leave. It wasn't until one of the girls looked at Natasha and gave her a bright smile. She babbled something and pointed at Natasha's hair. There was a long pause before Natasha's tight posture relaxed and she sat down next to me.

I became the second favourite as most of the girls made a beeline for Natasha. Her red hair had them all fascinated.

"We've got a team that should be landing in about 40 minutes," Clint murmured as he lowered himself to the ground. "They'll take all the children with them so they're out of this weather and safe. We'll take one of the vehicles left here and head to our safe house."

"What's going to happen to them?" I looked out over the small crowd in the room. Jared was sitting beside Natasha, spinning a dramatic tale in Thai. There were no more tears in the room, only smiles and the occasional high pitched laughter.

"SHIELD has ties with adoption agencies, private and government," Clint said with a strained smile. "They'll get American passports and go through the foster system. Most of them get adopted right away, which is a small blessing."

I craned my head to look at the little girl who was fast asleep on my shoulder. My heart ached at the thought of her being taken away by strangers again and being put through the foster system if no one adopted her. It was a better life than what would have otherwise happened to her. It didn't make it any less heartbreaking that she was going to still go through a traumatic change in her life. The only consolation was she was probably too young that it would leave a lasting memory.

"I'd rather face a battlefield of soldiers than do these jobs," Clint said softly. He reached over and pushed the hair back over the little girls ears. She didn't stir at all at Clint's touch. I wondered when the last time was that she got a decent night sleep. "They're safe now. I'm going to see if I can scrounge up some food for them and find some towels."

I nodded, not sure what else to say. There was nothing for me to do except sit here and wait. Clint got up and left without another word. Once we were alone again, I was going to hug both him and Natasha. Seeing these children had affected me deeply. My feelings would be nothing compared to what Natasha and Clint would be going through right now. I knew Clint's time in the foster system had been shitty. Natasha had lived through this situation of being a child and torn away from her family. It was only her sheer determination she'd made it to where she was now.

Clint was back in less than five minutes with an armful of towels.

"There's not a scrap of food anywhere," Clint looked on the verge of losing his temper. "How the fuck were they going to feed thirty kids?"

Clint cut himself off before his rant could get out of hand. He closed his eyes and took in a few deep breaths before opening them again. I took the hint and quickly got up, taking some of the towels from him. Natasha did the same thing but not before giving Clint's arm a tight squeeze. Clint nodded in understanding and rolled his shoulders to ease some of the tension in his body.

Most of the children knew what to do with the towels. A few of the younger ones needed to be helped. It was a good way to pass the time, even if it was completely awkward for me to do with the girl still asleep in my arms. The sound of a Quinjet soon filled the evening air a lot quicker than I expected. My watch had become waterlogged in the first day and decided not to work so I had no way of telling the time.

"I'll go get them," Natasha said, slipping away without another word. She'd been very quiet while we dried all of the children off. I was expecting all of us to need a very big bottle of alcohol after this tonight.

I picked up the towel she dropped and ran it over the hair of the boy in front of me. He smiled up at me, laughing as he reached up to feel his hair sticking up. Despite the grim mood, I smiled back at him. All of the children were so skinny and bedraggled. At least now they were in good spirits.

"Lek." The boy pointed to himself. With a shy smile, he pointed at me.

"Kari." I mimicked his movements, smiling down at him. "Jared and Clint."

I pointed over to the two men who were busy helping some of the other children dry off. Jared had a small group following his every movement.

Lek, as he introduced himself, grinned before shoving his fingers in his mouth. He had a toothy grin and lit up his face. He couldn't have been an older than four. It was hard to tell because of how skinny and small most of them were. Lek stuck by my side as I moved to the next child, a girl who was shivering, despite the warm weather. I didn't want to take off her tattered dress so I draped a towel around her, wrapping her up in a warm cocoon. She was one of the children who still looked bewildered by what was happening around her. Her eyes were wide and tear filled as

Natasha came back in before I could move onto anyone else. Behind her was a group of women carrying supplies. With amazing efficiency, they all got to work. A petite brunette came over to where I was standing with Lek and the girl who I'd cocooned in the towels.

"Hi, I'm Mona," she said brightly. Her face was warm and welcoming. Whatever she said next was in another language.

Both of the children looked at her blankly. It didn't deter her in the slightest, she tried again with something else. This time Lek nodded, his fingers still in his mouth.

"Thank god for that," Mona murmured under her breath while still smiling. She glanced sideways at me, noticing the girl in my arms. "Has she been asleep the entire time?"

"No, she screamed up a storm when I tried to put her down," I explained, feeling very out of place right now. "Is there anything I can help with?"

"You're going to have to put her down," Mona said, giving me an apologetic smile. "Brace yourself for some tears. This part is never easy for them. Or us."

I steeled myself for the tears as I started to untangle the girl from my neck. It stirred her from her slumber and as soon as she realised I was putting her down, she started to cry uncontrollably. The sobs quickly turned to screams as Mona gently pried her off me.

"Shhh, it's going to be all right." My soothing words were useless. The girl screamed, reaching out to me, kicking and flailing in Mona's grip.

"Come on sweetie, you're going to be all right," Mona's gentle voice was drowned out by her screaming. "Everything is going to be fine."

It was getting harder to hold back my threatening tears as the little girl shook her head, desperately trying to reach out to me again. I desperately wanted to give in and scoop her back up, holding her close. It wouldn't help the situation though. I knew I had to let her go but this was ripping my heart out of my chest and stomping it into the mud.

"Maybe you should leave?" Mona suggested, though not unkindly. "This is really hard on them."

How many times had the little girl had someone walked out of her life and never come back? I knew I had to do it but my feet were firmly rooted on the spot.

"Hey." Jared's voice came next to me. He had a bright smile on his face but I could tell was very forced. In his hands, there was a teddy bear. "Look what I have."

Jared held out the bear to the girl. She shook her head again, crying and stretching out to me as much as Mona would allow her. I had an idea, one that I hoped might help. I took the teddy bear and gave it a big hug and then held it out to her. The screaming stopped, though she was still crying as she took the teddy bear from me.

"Hug him for me?" I motioned to the bear and imitated the hug I'd give it.

Tentatively, the girl hugged the teddy bear and looked back at me with her heart broken face. It was the same look Alexi gave me when I had to leave and wasn't taking her with me. It took every bit of my self control not to reach out and take her back from Mona. I had a fleeting moment of wanting to take her home with me. It was a batshit crazy idea. One that would never work.

"Think of me every time you hug the teddy bear," I said, rather uselessly. Next, to me, Jared quickly translated what I'd just said. "I'll always be with you when you have him."

Tears were still pouring down at her as she looked at me. She hugged the teddy bear again with a loud sniff. I was quickly reminded how I was not cut out to be a parent by being grossed out by the giant snot bubble coming out of her nose. Regardless of the gross snot bubble, I smiled at her.

"You're going to grow up and be an amazing young lady." It took a lot to swallow back my rising tears. Jared was translating as fast as I could speak. He looked suspiciously teary himself. "Nothing is going to stand in your way and you can be anything you want. Hug your teddy and remember that."

The little girl hugged her teddy bear even tighter as she looked between Jared and me. She was still crying but the tears seemed to be slowing down now. I wasn't sure how much she understood but she stopped struggling against Mona. Before my own resolve crumpled, I got up and left the room.

I didn't get far. Three steps out of the room I had to stop and force my emotions back under control. Jared was right behind me. He pulled me into a tight hug. Neither of us spoke. There were no words to describe how I was feeling right now. I was happy that we'd stopped the horrible fate waiting for these children. I couldn't stop being heartbroken that no matter what, they were still in for a rough time over the next few days. Even if it was going to be better than being sold into slavery, it was still very hard.

The social workers, as I found out they were, worked tirelessly to get all of the children changed out of their rags, fed and onto the Quinjet within two hours. We stayed guard until the last of them boarded. Mona and my little girl were amongst the last ones. The little girl was in Mona's arms, cuddling her teddy bear. She gave me a wave and a timid smile as they walked away. I smiled back, waving until they were out of sight.

The ramp of the Quinjet closed behind them. A minute later, the engines rumbled to life and the Quinjet lifted into the night sky, leaving the four of us standing in the darkness.

"Let's get the fuck out of here."

It was Natasha's suggestion. None of us argued. Clint, Natasha and I went to the nearest truck but Jared stayed in the same spot.

"Jared?" I called out to him. He'd barely said a word since he left the room with me.

Jared didn't say anything. He glanced back at us before teleporting away somewhere.

"For fuck sake, Jared," Clint muttered, opening the door to step out into the drizzling rain. He only got one foot out before Jared was back.

"Drive."

Clint didn't ask why. He stomped on the gas pedal, making the truck fish tail on the slippery ground. The wheels finally gained some traction as we sped away into the darkness. We only made it onto the badly maintained road before an orange glow came from behind us.

"What…" I began to ask, only to be cut off by a deafening explosion. The compound behind us burst into flames, sending a fireball up into the night sky. The kinetic shock hit us a second later, making the truck wobble dangerously on the slippery road. Clint cursed, struggling to keep us from crashing as the truck careened from side to the side.

"Good riddance to fucking pieces of shit." Jared folded his arms, turning to face the front again.

"Here, here," Natasha said firmly.

It was a long ass drive to our new safe house. It was made even longer by the detour to our other safe house to pick up our belongings. Despite being asked several times if he needed to switch out, Clint drove the entire way. No one really spoke, leaving us all wrapped up in our own thoughts. Mine were mostly thinking of the little girl who I'd given the teddy bear to. By now they would have been halfway back to the US. All the children were fed, clothed and probably feeling the safest they had in a long time. I really hoped all of their dreams were undisturbed and whatever was in for them next, was going to make their lives happy.

The safe house was a few hours west of Bangkok in a town called Kanchanaburi. It was a tourist destination, meaning none of us got a second glance as we drove through the streets. The safe house was tucked in a quiet street on the outskirts of town. I stiffly climbed out of the truck and trudged up the few steps to the front door. Scanning my fingerprint, the door opened soundlessly. The blast of air conditioning made my damp clothes cling to me and I was shivering within a second of stepping inside. I flicked the lights on, basking the room in a warm glow.

"Oh sweet, sweet air con, how I've missed you," Jared groaned in delight as he walked in behind me. "I'm going straight to bed."

The safe house was fully secured so there was no need for one of us to stand guard. It wasn't a big house at all. A bedroom and a bathroom came from the main room. A small kitchen was towards the back of the house.

"Me too." I went to the bedroom. I could see four real beds in the semi darkness of the room. Natasha followed me, stripping off as she walked into the room. We both left a trail of muddy footprints on the clean tiles. I was too tired to care though. I managed to work the laces of my boots undone, kicking them off at the door of the bedroom. I propped the CheyTac against the wall near my boots. I was down to my underwear by the time I fell into the bed.

"Unless the world is ending, don't wake me up." Natasha's voice was barely distinguishable with her face buried in the pillow.

I grunted in response. I'd barely slept over the last few days and it was hitting me all at once. I pulled up the blanket over my half naked body and was asleep before Jared and Clint could settle in their beds.

I jolted awake far too quickly, not too long after closing my eyes. It was still dark in the room and I had no idea why I'd woken up. I could hear Clint's distinctive soft snores in the darkness. There was another noise though. Soft footsteps padding across the room. I had turned on my side in my sleep so I was facing the wall. I was about to turn to see who was awake when another voice made me stop.

"What's up?" Jared's sleepy voice came through the darkness.

There was a creak of weight being added to a mattress. I was glad I didn't answer Jared because I quickly realised he wasn't talking to me.

"I can't sleep." Natasha sounded exhausted, despite her words. "Today hit too close to home."

I heard Jared sigh as the bed creaked again.

"I know. But those kids are all safe now. No one is ever going to hurt them," Jared's reassurance made me smile in the darkness. "We did good Tasha. Cling onto that, nothing else.

There was a long pause and some rustling of fabric moving. It sounded like Natasha was crawling into bed with Jared. I settled back down, closing my eyes again. Jared was right. We'd done a very good job on this mission. It was the first mission in a long time where nothing had completely gone to shit and we'd actually made a difference in the world. It was a very good feeling. I'd nearly fallen back asleep when another sound woke me up.

It was the sound of kissing.

"Fuck, Nat, what are you doing?" It stopped as quickly as it had started. Jared's voice came out breathless and full of shock.

"Kissing you," Natasha said with a seductive tone. "I thought that was obvious."

There was some more shuffling and another kiss.

"Don't." The warning was clear in Jared's voice this time. The bed creaked again as weight was shifted around. "We talked about this and we agreed we wouldn't do this anymore."

What the fuck did Jared mean? I stiffened in the darkness, in complete shock at what was happening beside me. A lot of people had reassured me that Jared and Natasha had never slept together. Natasha herself had said the same thing on many occasions. They both flirted with each other like crazy. A few times I'd been mildly suspicious but Natasha had always assured me there was nothing going on between them.

"You didn't mind last time," Natasha purred. "Remember that night with the red wine after Pripyat when you came to LA?"

"We were both drunk and that wasn't the idea of the night," Jared said firmly.

"And that time just after Kari joined our team?"

My mind stretched back trying to think of what the fuck Natasha was talking about. The mention of red wine dragged up a nearly forgotten memory. I remembered the day I went to buy my motorbike that Natasha was mildly hungover. She'd mentioned a fuck buddy and a few bottles of red wine.

"Again, we were drunk and that wasn't the plan." This time Jared didn't sound quite as convincing as before. "We said after that night in LA we wouldn't do this again. I'm not getting my feelings hurt again."

"Then don't catch feelings." There was a distinct bite in Natasha's tone. Her flirty side was gone in the snap of a finger. "You of all people should be good at that."

"That's not fair," Jared bit back just as hard as Natasha's tone.

The sound of footsteps stomped across the room and the door got flung open. The bed creaked again and a heavier set of footsteps followed.

"Natasha," Jared called out, seemingly oblivious to the noise they were making.

The front door opened and slammed a second later. It was hard enough to wake the dead. The floor opened a second time a few seconds later and slammed shut again. The silence in the house was far too loud after all the noise that had occurred.

"Did I just dream that?" Clint's voice made me jump. I turned over to look over at him in the darkness. He was sitting on the edge of his bed looking in the direction of the front door.

"No." I wasn't going back to sleep now. My mind was a whirlwind of what I'd just heard. "Did you know anything about this?"

I couldn't keep the hurt out of my voice. Clint and Natasha had been friends for a long time. Despite his reassurance of Natasha not sleeping with Jared, numerous times, now I wasn't sure if he'd been lying to my the entire time. They'd both been spies for a lot longer than me. Lying was second nature to them.

"Kari, I promise I knew nothing." Clint got up and flicked the light on. He looked just as betrayed as I felt right now. "I had my suspicions a few years ago but nothing ever came of it. Or so I thought."

I felt my eyes burn with tears as I stared at Clint. Natasha was my best friend and she'd lied to my face, many times, about sleeping with my brother. I'd never felt so betrayed in my life.

"Hey, come here." Clint got up and crossed the room quickly. He sat down on my bed and pulled me into a hug. "Don't cry. They had me fooled too. I'm Hawkeye, I'm meant to notice things like this."

I was too emotionally drained and exhausted to do anything except hug Clint back.

"I'm not making excuses for her, but you know Natasha doesn't think they same way we do," Clint said gently. "She probably thought she was doing the right thing by not telling us. I'm not getting back to sleep any time soon. Do you want some food?"

I nodded, not trusting myself not to burst into tears if I spoke. I got dressed in a spare change of clothes I had in my bag and went and sat in the kitchen with Clint. Unlike our other safe house, this one was well stocked. Clint had enough ingredients to throw together something that was nearly as good as his famous stir fry. After some food in my stomach and a quick shower, I was feeling a little more human. Nothing was going to calm the storm of emotions going through me though.

Natasha came back a few hours later. Clint and I were sitting on the couch watching TV to pass the time when she stormed in. Natasha didn't glance at either of us and went straight to the bathroom, slamming the door shut. She was still dressed in her tactical gear and was barefoot which would have made an interesting sight in daylight. Clint and I looked at each other.

"I'm really fucking angry now," I said before he could ask if I wanted to talk to her. "You can deal with it."

Clint looked at the door with a huge sigh. I could see his internal struggle clearly on his face. An angry Natasha was never fun. This was going to be a hundred times worse because of the situation. Clint slowly climbed to his feet and walked to the bathroom. He raised his hand, obviously hesitating about knocking.

"Fuck off Barton."

Natasha's voice was dripping with venom. Clint took the hint and backed away from the door instantly.

"I'm not dealing with that either."

The phone ringing in the safe house made both of us jump. Clint crossed the room quickly and snatched it up, pausing at the other end would be going through the security protocols. Clint answered them with ease, his body relaxing as he lent against the wall.

"Morning, Coulson," Clint said casually. "We're more than ready to leave."

Clint paused, absently twirling the ancient phone cable around his fingers. I hadn't seen a non cordless phone in years. It was amusing that SHIELD had some of the most technologically advanced designs, yet this safe house had a phone from the 90's in here. In the bathroom, I heard the shower start up.

"Yeah, he and Nat had a fight last night. I have no idea what is was about." The half lie slid easily from Clint's mouth. I was always impressed at how easily he could do it. Not that Coulson brought it very often. From any of us. "So I'm not surprised he requested to go straight home."

That explained where Jared was. I wasn't surprised either that he decided to go straight home. I probably would have punched him in the face if he came back in the house today.

"That will put us back on…" Clint trailed off, his face scrunched up in concentration at whatever he was working out. "Mid morning on the 22nd, sound right?"

22nd. That was the day Gareth was getting back from Iraq. He wasn't due to be in until later in the evening. An idea quickly formed in my head. I hadn't promised Gareth I'd be back on time when I told him I was going on a mission. He was going to go home and wait for me to get back before he drove up to DC for a week. This could be a nice surprise for me. It would also get me away from Natasha until I cooled down a bit. I didn't trust myself not to lose my shit at her for lying to me for so long. The betrayal really hurt and I wasn't feeling inclined to let this one slide.

"Can I talk to Coulson?" I asked motioning to the phone. Clint had been silent while listening to whatever Coulson was saying.

"Kari wants to talk to you," Clint said, probably interrupting Coulson in the middle of something important. Or boring. Without waiting for a response, Clint held the phone out to me.

I cradled the bulky object in my hand, staring at it in mild amusement.

"Hi." I didn't waste time in going for what I wanted. "Can I get permission to land at Langley first and then Hawk flies back to DC?"

"I can ask," Coulson didn't seem surprised at my request. "Gareth's back that day, isn't he?"

"Yeah, sometime that night." I was happy at his easy acceptance of the idea. It wasn't often I asked a favour from Coulson and sometimes it worked to my advantage. "I thought I might surprise him with something nice instead of me bleeding profusely in the hallway of a medical wing."

Gareth and I still hadn't spoken about when he found me at Camp Cooke last time. If anything, he seemed to roll with it as being part of my life. I was very grateful for his easy acceptance of everything he'd seen. A lot of people would have run screaming.

"I'll ring Sharpe and see if he can pull some string too," Coulson said with a small laugh. There was a fond tone in his voice. "From me, it's a yes. You'll have to wait for the official response though. I was saying to Barton that STRIKE Team Charlie is waiting for you at a small airport 20 miles from where you are now. Jared is already home, so when you guys are ready you can head straight there and come home. Do you have any idea what Natasha and Jared fought about?"

"No idea." I hoped my lie was as smooth as Clint's. "I came in and passed out. They were both gone when I woke up."

Coulson sighed heavily on the other end of the phone. I wasn't sure if it was because he knew I was lying or he didn't want to deal with the argument between Natasha and Jared.

"I'll let Charlie team know you'll be on the way soon," Coulson said calmly. His tone not giving anything away. "I will get back to you as soon as I know about landing at Langley."

"Thanks, Coulson."

Coulson hung up without saying goodbye. No doubt I'd just made the next few hours of his day interesting. Even if the answer ended up being no, I knew Coulson would have done everything he possibly could to make it happen for me.

The shower stopped as I hung up the phone. Natasha stepped out, wrapped up in a towel. If it was me in her shoes, I would have tried to hide as much as possible. Natasha strode out of the bathroom, head held high and a completely indifferent expression on her face. Her face was redder than normal, whether it was from the hot shower or something else, I wouldn't know.

"When are we leaving?"

Natasha's accent was non existent most of the time, mostly through training and her living in the US for so long now. In times of stress, it came out. Right now, her accent was creeping through. Her only tell tale sign that she was upset.

"As soon as you're dressed." Clint folded his arms, not bothering to cover his disapproving stare. "Are we going to talk about what happened last night?"

"How much did you hear?" Natasha levelled a blank stare at Clint. It was only then I noticed she was doing everything she could not look at me. I wasn't sure if I was angry or upset at that. Anger seemed to be the winning emotion this morning. I could feel my temper starting to simmer under the surface.

"Everything. The entire fucking neighbourhood heard your little dispute," Clint said with a heavy frown. "How long has that been going on?"

"A few weeks after Yellowstone is when it first happened." Natasha's voice lacked any emotion. "It's been on and off since then."

Yellowstone was the first time Jared had worked with Natasha and Clint. It had been quite a few years ago when Jared was still new in SHIELD.

"Since Yellowstone…." Clint trailed off with an angry huff. He clenched his jaw and closed his eyes, taking in a few deep breaths. "And all the times I've flat out asked you if there was something going on between you and Jared?"

"Who is I fuck is none of your business, Barton." There was a bite on Natasha's tone this time. "Or anyone else."

It wasn't hard to tell the last part was levelled at me. Even though Natasha wouldn't look in my direction. I wasn't going to stand here and listen to this. I was too angry to speak to Natasha right now. My best friend had lied to me for months. I was so hurt about this. I stormed from the room and went to the bedroom. I was packed and storming out to our truck in two minutes. Clint was only a minute behind me. He slid into the passenger seat as I drummed my fingers against the steering wheel. I was so angry, I was seriously considering leaving without Natasha.

"Coulson will kill us if we leave her here." Clint only needed to take one look at my face to guess what I was thinking. "Then you won't get to surprise Gareth."

That mollified me enough to wait until Natasha came out of the house and slid into the backseat. She said nothing to either of us. She didn't even look to the front seat. The drive to our destination passed in absolute silence. Clint sat beside me, grinding his teeth in anger. Natasha was stony and silent in the backseat. I had nothing but my racing thoughts to keep me occupied.

I'd never had a close friendship like I had with Natasha. We told each other everything, from the gross details of our personal habits, like popping pimples to pulling out ingrown hairs for each other, to talking to each other about everything. I thought I knew exactly what was going on in Natasha's personal life. She never held anything back from me before. Or so I though. If she had told me she'd slept with Jared a few times from the start, I may have been mildly annoyed or disgusted about it. It would have been over and done with though. Now I was second guessing everything Natasha had ever told me in our friendship. If she lied about her and Jared, what else was she lying about? This was the first mission in a long time that I'd felt good about. It was completely ruined now thanks to Natasha and Jared.

Charlie team were waiting for us as we arrived at the small airport. The Quinjet was already powered up, thanks to whoever flew it here. As we got out of the truck with our gear, Natasha came to stand beside me.

"I don't know what to say to fix this." Even though her face was blank of emotion, Natasha sounded the most unsure of herself I'd ever heard.

"Sorry would be a good start," I snapped, my anger still boiling. "But I doubt you know the meaning of that word, even if you did, I doubt there'd be any truth behind it."

I'd never seen Natasha look so hurt before. The genuine shock and sadness on her face made me regret my snarl. I was still too angry to apologise for it. I wasn't ready to forgive her so quickly.

Natasha snatched her bag up and stormed off to the Quinjet. The few Charlie team guys hanging around the ramp were smart enough to jump out of her way. Natasha looked angry for the rest of the world to see. What she was genuinely feeling, I wasn't sure. I didn't really care right now either.

Clint said nothing at our little exchange. He shot me a sympathetic look before we got to the ramp of the Quinjet. No one on Charlie team was stupid enough to ask us what was wrong either. They all got out of our way and quickly boarded behind us. As soon as the last person was strapped in, I took off with a lot more speed than we needed. Even Clint was white knuckled next to me as the near vertical and way too fast take off. Once we got to altitude, I didn't hold back either. I pushed the Quinjet to the limit of speed I was meant to be doing.

Flying hard and fast was a good way to soothe my frazzled nerves. The tension began to leave my body muscle by muscle as I flew through the rainy weather to clear skies. The hours trickled by as I kept the Quinjet on manual. It gave my mind something to concentrate on and not keep dwelling on my anger at Natasha and Jared. We were a few hours from landing when Coulson came over the radio.

"Permission granted to land at Langley Base. Barton, you've got the Quinjet all to yourself back to the Triskelion."

Clint and I exchanged near identical excited grins. Me for being able to go ahead with my surprise for Gareth. Clint for being allowed to fly all by himself. It wasn't often he got to do a flight without me.

I pulled the stick on the Quinjet back a little faster as Clint confirmed the order over the radio. I could shave a bit of flying time off with a slight increase in speed. Well, maybe more than a slight increase in speed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone enjoyed the little bombshell about Natasha and Jared! It was fun to piece together some of the things that have been planted there from the start.
> 
> So, I'm currently doing a massive edit of Crystallize. None of the major timeline and events are changing, however, there have been some scenes that I've been tweaking. Reading some of my early stuff, I now cringe at and realise there are some plot holes that I'm getting around to fixing. I started writing this a few years ago and I've evolved in my writing since then. Some of these chapters I haven't touched in nearly 3 years so it was good to give them an overhaul.
> 
> I'm about to hit my exam period for Uni, so there won't be any updates until the end of June now. I fully intend on making use of my month break to get some chapters out, update Shatter Me and get a big chunk of editing done. I have a few one shots that are posted on FF.net which I want to edit and post over here too. Not to mention, there's a few of them sitting there begging to be finished right now.
> 
> Thanks for your kudos and comments everyone! I love them all. If anyone wants to reach out to me, I'm under Tumblr, IG and Facebook under this penname. I'm happy to answer any questions.


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